#i hope you liked your result!!
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thinkin about isat again (big surprise) and it would be a wonder if someone in the gang doesnt develop separation anxiety postgame. like other than siffrin considering that's the entire premise of the games plot, i mean.
#isat spoilers#isat#i bets would be on bonnie.#theyre like. 10.#they've nearly lost this specific person twice. and they consider one of those instances their own fault.#and the second time the person split off on their own (not really lucid or reasonable) terms and it nearly resulted in their death.#and thats not even CONSIDERING the nille situation. which is the entire reason bonnie is here.#you lose your sister. you hope its not forever but right now shes gone. and you're so so scared.#you get someone new who loves you dearly and reminds you of your sister. you love them back.#you nearly lose them TWICE. and they come out of it a shivering twitchy mess of a human.#now you have them BOTH back an dyou are never letting either of them go ever again.#because every time you've been separated from someone its only ever resulted in something bad happening.#wow im overthinking this.
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no thoughts just Heiji Hattori (HD)
#detective conan#case closed#amv#my amvs#eye strain#heiji hattori#harley hartwell#conan edogawa#shinichi kudo#funimation english dub script#video#happy two-year anniversary to 'no thoughts just heiji hattori'!#while it's not my first amv (it's maybe my... fifth?)#it was the first one i made with davinci resolve and the amv that really got me into editing amvs for real#it's the amv that made me believe i could make amvs 🥺#and in remastering it i deeply understood how ambitious it was! i thought i did a lot of audio mixing for 'messed up'#but that's not even close to all the audio mixing i did here--cannot believe that i did all this for my first big amv project#it took about 20 hours *just* to remaster!#which is something i've been meaning to do for a while now so i'm very happy to finally share the results!#to make this a 'remaster' and not a 'redo' the only changes i tried to make were to the source footage and audio#video now uses almost entirely hd remastered footage from my blu-rays or netflix rather than my dvds#but oh gosh was it *hard* not to touch anything else! i'd do so many things differently now#but this video will always be really special to me (and i can't believe i did it at all tbh!)#i hope seeing it in hd is fun too! i'm so blown away by all the love this vid's gotten#and that it helped increase interest in funi's old english dub is amazing and 100% what i was trying to do with it!#thank you everyone for all the support <333 i wouldn't be the video editor i am today without this vid or your encouragement for it <3333#like the original the sources used are mostly from what funi dubbed (but mixed in hd by me!): eps 48-49 57-58 77-78 117 and 118 and movie 3#but i also used episodes 141-142 174 189 239 263 277 291 293 345 479 491 517 and 522#and ova 3 and tv special 6 (episode one) and movies 10 and 13 and ops 27 31 and 33 and the funi 5.2 dvd blooper for the one line lol#the song is 'you're stupid aren't you' by toshio masuda (from jubei-chan 2)
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Hey, I’m new to Tumblr, but I’ve seen your characters around the internet and I love them so much!! Everyone has so much love for Machete and Vasco and your art is so cool to see! Do you have any tips for an aspiring artist and creative writer?
Hi! Welcome to tumblr! I'm glad to hear you like my dogs :]
I'm not really a writer, and I also completely lose my confidence when I'm trying to explain my art processes. So this is probably an obvious, unhelpful platitude at best, but one thing I've realized is that you should allow yourself to be self-indulgent. If you're the primary target audience of your own work, it generates passion and keeps you inspired and motivated. I like to believe that people who see your creations are more likely to respond to them positively if they can sense that you're putting your heart and soul to them.
#if you have any special interests that you're really knowledgeable about you can try including them in your art/writing somehow#even if it seems kind of an odd match they may merge into an interesting and potentially unique combination#like this Vaschete era I'm going through is a product of lifelong interest in animals history art and religion#just jamming all of my favorite topics and themes in there#be forgiving to yourself when things fon't work out as smoothly as you had hoped#and try to cultivate a positive relationship with the creative process and end results#meaning if you have a habit of putting yourself down and saying your art/writing sucks#try not to do that#it can lead you to resent the whole hobby and stifle your potential#I dunno this probably comes across so vague and nebulous#answered#sagepuca#tldr: be excited about whatever you create#make art/stories that you yourself would look at and think 'this is the coolest thing it's like it was tailored just for me'#also like I'm just some guy you don't have to take my advice these are just some things that have helped me personally#your experience and approach might be different
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Thinks about my next series again... I drew the icon for it!
I'm planning to have it launched within a year! I'm hoping for summer 2025. I want to make a prelaunch page before Time and Time Again ends so people can subscribe if they're interested, but I'm worried the series return would be too early...
#SORRY HAHAHA REPOSTING IMMEDIATELY#i. it. IM SORRY okay the.#i had 'im not interested in the comic' as an option but it immediately made me feel bad#DONT FEEL BAD IF YOU PICKED IT i put it there#i just realized its not really a helpful metric to me at all!#im making the comic either way!#so i just want to gague interest. disinterest doesnt do much for me. you can come and go as you please!#just wanting to retain readers as much as possible but without losing them due to taking too long#ahhhh the balance of marketing. a beautiful beast she is.#anyways yeah hoping to launch like about as tta is ending#or like at LEAST a prelaunch page by then#im also not intending for the prelaunch page to be like. announced...#moreso just a link i append on art for the series!#just so when a drawing of zagan gets 500 notes#people who are interested in what hes from can. see that...#anyways. sorry i haven't been posting work is wild im going 70+ hours a week again i am so tired#not much time to draw non work stuff#im hanging on by a thread of having multiple projects i can bounce between again#and sometimes thats this one! so heres the results of some mental health work variety#we were legion#polls#sorry for the instant repost. in my defense. i am exhausted.#i can not wait until im making a different comic that i can do a fucking. normal ass schedule with#where im not every week gasping for breath in some kind of bad at swimming metaphor.#anyways if youre not interested dont tell me. it doesnt matter to me. no offense but i just dont wanna hear it.#i want to make the comic and my audience as much as i love you all is not going to have any control over what i do with my art#im gonna make this comic if i only get it done on weekends after getting home from the fuckin movie theater#i am not working for webtoon again wnd im not forcing myself into the dirt for comics again#but im also never gonna stop making them. just need to build a healthier relationship!#FUCK I MADE IT A ONE DAY POLL.
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"From triumph to failure is but one step."
+ the usual
I love when I can include paper sketches in the process gif. It's very satisfying to see it progress from a very vague imagining of what was in my head to the finished project.
+ version without text
My favorite sketch was definitely the one where I actually put in words what it's supposed to convey. I wouldn't usually write that down, cause it's all in my head, but it was useful to do so when sending it to other people. I'll go into it more but here it is just as a teaser:
Lmao first of all, I like how I was teasing "Spanish GP" art, but as per usual, it's just thinly veiled au art. IM SORRY, I'M NOT INTERESTED IN MAKING GENERAL POSTERS, THAT'S NO FUN! So instead you will get weirdly relevant matador au art. I like it a lot though, I was really shocked I was able to draw 3 different Fernandos, I mean even drawing one figure takes a lot out of me, but this was weirdly easy?? I think it's just the effect of not being burnt out anymore, and actually being able to draw with more ease makes me feel like a god.
Okay, so the text: "Fight or Flight?" I'll be honest, I don't even remember why I chose it, literally came to me in a vision 😭 But I think it's fitting with the narrative of this piece. Is it better to keep going on, keep fighting, or better to finally give up, and flee? Not that I even remotely think he should give up, but I feel like sometimes I can sense him pondering this very question. That was the big fear before he announced that he re-signed. Keep fighting and maybe, just maybe, you'll get the chance to finally go up against the bull again. Or accept it's an uphill battle and the fighting is going to keep getting more and more strenous, and maybe it's time to put down the sword. SORRY THIS IS SO ANGSTY FOR WHAT'S SUPPOSED TO BE "yayyyy home race!!!" Please forgive me <3
I. Renault
At some point, someone pointed out to me that I had drawn all other iterations of matador Fernando with a sword, except for Renault Fernando, and that ended up feeling very poignant to me. In a bull fighting match, they really only pull out the sword at the last minute to deliver the killing blow. So I think it's important to never draw this Fernando with a sword, because it shows the unfailing confidence and stability he has at that point. He only needs to pull out the sword at the end, as a formality almost, there's no reason for him to keep his guard up at all times.
II. Ferrari
Meanwhile this Fernando, he's considering his sword like he hasn't had to in the past. He's checking the sharpness, making sure in advance he can do what needs to be done. He's on guard, he feels like he needs to keep up his defenses at all times because he doesn't have that same amount of trust and stability anymore. He knows though he will be up against the (red) bull, at least that's never in question. At least there's the assurance he'll get the chance to fight.
III. Aston
Oh, Aston Fernando....He doesn't know whether to take up his sword or finally put it down for the last time. While at least Ferrari Fernando knows he's on constant guard against the bull, this Fernando doesn't even have that assurance anymore. He feels like he can never put down the sword, just in case he gets the chance to strike the killing blow on the bull, which feels like it's growing more and more unlikely.
Spanish flag: ? Lmao this was meant to be something to celebrate Fernando's home race and it turned very introspective whoops. Also got the Napoleon quote in there hahaha, can't escape it!! Shame though there is no French gp anymore, if so I'd probably draw an unhinged thing for it :,(
#woooo yeah totally a spanish gp poster sure sure.....#idk i cant pretend to be relevant. i just wanted to draw matadors bcs it was spain gp wknd#maybe next year ill draw him as the prince of asturias#very proud of the narrative of this though#I do think it's very relavant to the story of his career and his relationship to the spanish gp#see i even downloaded a special font! sdjkglr#also do let me know which is your fav Nando on this poster!!!! <3#even tho the aston nando is lowkey the reason behind this whole poster. im super smitten with renault nando#i wonder which fernando would be 'freeze'#also i swear one day im gonna accidentally stab myself with the big ass sword i use to take ref pics for matador au#HOPE THIS ISNT TOO SAD EVEN THO I KNOW IT IS!!!#i mean it was never really supposed to be triumphant. more just *heavy thoughts*#but the lacklustre results and the fact that i feel like i havent even seen nando that much this wknd fueled the depressing read more#i am not immune to being overly dramatic and angsty </3#hey you never know man maybe this will work as reverse psychology and he'll do well in a couple hours!! we'll see...#f1#formula 1#fernando alonso#catie.art.#matador au#2024 spanish gp#fa14
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Me? Uploading a Halloween comic on November 18th, almost four whole-ass weeks late???? Yeah that’s uh. yup. yeah
Thanks for reading! :) <3
#persona 5#p5#akira kurusu#OUGH OH MY GOD ITS FINALLY. DONE. I AM LOSING MY MIND#if you've been following me for long enough: yes! this IS in fact the comic i mentioned that i was making last year.#Fun fact! This is also! The Third Draft of said comic!!! i have redrawn this thing THREE FUCKING TIMES#as a result you may notice that i uh. a) gave up on coloring this thing. no way in HELL am i coloring 30 pages. im not...strong enough#you will settle for simply having monochrome colored panels and you will LIKE IT!!!!! >:OOOOO#and b) gave up on backgrounds! yeah fuck that lmao. i am never drawing people in the monabus again and mementos can kiss my ass!!!!!#i just want to draw my silly little characters & not their environments#and you may also say: sophia. by halloween they are already in Sae's palace. why isn't goro with them and where's haru?#and to that i say shhhh suspend your disbelief. akechi is in mementos carving pumpkins to avoid trick or treaters.#and also haru isn't there because i cannot draw 6+ people in a cramped space yet!!! my art skills are Just Not There Quite Yet :(#so she's staying home and handing out fullsized candy bars to kids. that's where she is while this is all going down#'does akira know it's akechi down there?' :) that's up to you! but i WILL say that I was thinking about Akeshu when i wrote this so. :))))#ANYWAY if you read this far in the tags im so sorry lmao. thanks for sticking around! Hope you had a happy halloween :)#hopefully i won't disappear for long this time. idk im just gonna start uploading other bullshit art in the interim between comics i guess#probably some fire emblem shit. we'll see. we'll see. anyway bye!! till next time!
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the thing i love about bill cipher is that even after i've learned all of this stuff about him, seen him at the most vulnerable he'll ever get, seen him at his most innocent, i still can't give a flying fuck about trying to justify his actions. yes he's traumatized, yes he was twisted into what we know today, and while it gives a semblance of context to why he did what he did, it doesn't matter. he still ruined ford's life. he still drove and baited multiple humans to suicide. he still tormented every human he saw as his ticket out of the consequences of his own actions. he still took delight in his actions. he was willing to commit genocide for fuck's sake!!! (freezing all of the humans into statues). trying to explain away what he did does not get rid of what he did, but it certainly puts it in perspective. you won't be catching me being a bill apologist any time soon <3
#gravity falls#bill cipher#the book of bill#pleaseeee dont kill me guys#also if anyone tries to twist this and apply it to ford i WILL be setting myself on fire#because like. i've seen many people hate on him because of what he did objectively#but the difference between ford and bill is that ford did not LIKE it. let me break down things ford has done @ stan that ppl dont like:#1: he was the favorite child hands down (not ford's fault. he was a kid. he was shoved into the role by his father)#2: considering leaving stan behind for west coast tec (which we dont even know was his intention. what if he wanted to bring stan with him?#what if he was going to ultimately turn the offer down? what if he went and still kept touch anyway? speaking as a guy who grew up#gifted in a poor neighborhood; college is your TICKET outta there. you'd do anything to do so--BACK ON TRACK)#3: didnt defend stan when he was being kicked out (he thought stan sabotaged his and his fams ticket out of poverty. of COURSE he's pissed!#also he was 17. of COURSE in the moment he wasnt going to take his scrawy ass and stand up to his 6'6 abusive ass of a father. would YOU?#4: told stan to take the journal (ford was on the brink of death and insanity. all he had left was STAN to trust. it also wasnt him saying#to have stan stay away from him forever--it was just to take the JOURNAL somewhere. he NEVER said he COULDNT come back!#do you REALLy think that FORD could have explained all that properly when he has beeen TORTURED FOR WEEKS ON END? I DIDNT THINK SO!#anyways. the point is that everything the fandom uses to villanize ford is in fact a result of circumstances outside of his control#and while you can argue that bill is the same; compare the damage they have done. consider how their trauma impacted them as people.#think about how bill took his trauma out on everyone around him. about how even now he still feels no remorse in that prison.#think about how ford tried to FIX his mistakes. think about how he is human; how he acted in spite of his misery#think about what that fucking triangle did to that six-fingered old man.#....okay! that was a lot. lets hope no one sees this!!
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As the US election closes in and the final states take to the polls, I want to remind people to turn out and protest.
Yep, protest. Strike, disrupt, be out there on the street regardless of who you voted for or who wins. I expect to see you all out there demanding; access to abortion nation wide, protections against discrimination, free universal healthcare, a free Palestine, anti war, prison abolition, to increase the minimum wage, and for a US free of the electoral college and that counts votes as votes.
Yes, you can say "you should vote for Harris" and do so as much as you like, but do not forget the power you have through your own everyday actions away from the polls and that of protesting. Do not use the excuse that your right to vote means it's somehow more foundational or important than the right to protest. You have the ability to create direct action and that is so so important, please don't just expect a rich representative to stick to their promises every time you vote; you have power too, never forget that.
This system will not change until we, the people, make it. There is NO representative that can ever change the system that allowed them in, and likewise; this system will never allow a candidate that would stop it from continuing and/or ensuring its designated purpose of oppression and subjugation. Resist, regardless of the results.
Long live the resistance.
#not to be a “far leftist extremist anarchist commie” but I'd even go far as to say let's tear down the US imperialist empire#I'd also go as “far” as to say land back to the nations that would make sure to grant all the above without the useless bureaucracy#but some of y'all might see handing sovereignty to the land councils elders and chiefs as “too far” but anyway#point is don't just think “all I can do is vote” because thats the minimum and in the us it has far less power than everywhere else#- due to the electorial college#like some of y'all's votes arent going to he counted and even if Harris gets a majoroty it could still be trump#don't place all your hopes on a corrupt voting system and a rigged electon believe in the people around you and protest#Eat the rich and make a better world#We can do better and we WILL create better with our own hands#Again (and I i can't believe I have to say this yo be heard) I'm not saying “don't vote blue” or whatever#I'm saying regardless of what you do there should still be protests and regardless of the result there should be protest#I'm saying this system won't change until you make it bevause there is NO representative you can vote for that will do that#usa#usa politics#us elections#kamala harris#donald trump#from the river to the sea palestine will be free#free palestine#resistance#long live the resistance#long live the intifada#protest#free gaza#palestine#politics#also this applies to Australia too our gov won't change until the system is torn down and replaced#I am holding you all and shaking you to go out there and do something for yourselves beyond picking one of the two rich overlords#“trump is dangerous” and “this entire system is inherently dangerous” are two things that coexist now get out there and start causing mayhem#and don't stop until the world changes
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V0hBVFMgV1JPTkc/CldIQVRTIFRIQVQgRkFDRSBGT1IsIFtSRURBQ1RFRF0/CkFSRSBZT1UuLi4gRkVFTElORyBPS0FZPwpIQVZFIFlPVSBCRUVOIERSSU5LSU5HIEFHQUlOPw==
blue screen of death
#There was meant to be a something hidden in the brain but it got decimated by the filters. tragic#anyway! hope this is silly for the like two people that understand what this is supposed to depict#since my last puzzle fucking BROKE#i was trying to figure out why and realised that for some reason#tumblr private posts only work if the owner sends you the link directly which is STUPID#and also makes arguably the most crucial piece of lore yet completely inaccessible so once i get my phone im fixing that shit ASAP#but uh. yeah. get silly#mariware ough. never having a good time is she#:(#omori#omori au#puter au#omori mari#mariware#this is also a result of me realising that that “expand your mind” line is BRUTAL when reused in the context of this scene#so i yoinked it lmao
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motorcycle sketch featuring cross!! >:)
#art#illustration#utmv#xtale#xtale sans#cross sans#cross!sans#cross#sorry about the empty space at the side hh xD that's where my references were#i mixed so many different motorcycle poses and parts and honestly? i'm so happy with this!!!#i got inspired by a guy riding his (full leather jacket- sleek black helmet and leather pants) in the city and idk it looked so PRETTY!!!#it was the type you see in movies it was so impressive! but he also stood out cause who wears black (LEATHER) jackets in SUMMER??#i was dying in my t-shirt and jeans but i guess the wind blowing while driving would negate the stifling warmth hhh x)#so when i decided to make it i knew i didn't wanna color the piece- nor spend ungodly amounts of time drawing clean-ish lineart#for a machine with sooo many details like damn xD so i went the sketch-y route! comic book style hehehe >;)#if alex sees this then i was also inspired by your killer drawing!! i finally understand how satisfying your sketching method is waa<3333#i would tag you but i'm always unsure if i should unless the au belongs to them/it's fanart so aaa hope you read the tags? muah ty again!!#(btw cross is human here- fem or not is up to interpretation; but then i realized it could kinda be interpreted as a skeleton too soo#just forget the skele knuckles and you have all versions in one piece!! >B)#i couldn't pick which one of the two end results was my fav so you get both versions >;) <333#and not using blurs or effects this times makes me love it even more waa >:'D the only thing i used a layer option for was the watermark!!#like goshh this was so fun to draw hhh hopefully you guys like it too :D <3333
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Y'know the thing about writing feral/unhinged versions of Orion/Optimus, is that you can't go too far into the feral/unhinged direction to a point where OP's core character traits are lost or become too diminished. After all, in a multiple-continuity franchise like TF, part of what makes the stories make sense is that even if details change (sometimes major details), the characters are still recognizably themselves to one degree or another. (Although this isn't always the case due to executive meddling or some characters being such blank slates from their initial G1 appearances that there's basically nothing to model them off of, but I digress.)
It's pretty much another reason why I love IDW1 Optimus, bc he literally is a canonical feral/unhinged Optimus who's unhinged as a direct consequence of who he is as a person and what he's been through. Like, he still has those fundamental character traits of trying his best to be moral and make good choices, trying to be a role model, etc, except after 4 million years of war and untreated depression he's basically holding onto his sense of self by his fingertips. So when he "goes feral" e.g. losing his temper and beating up/killing people or saying hurtful things, he's feral in a way that's directly tied to his normal personality and not just as a random quirk he has.
IDW OP's feral moments arise from the gaps between "Optimus' attempts to be who he thinks he needs to be" and "the reality of the world that he can't fix/seems to only make worse" that cause him to lose hope, or become cynical, or lose his temper. But in this case, the unhinged-ness makes perfect sense because it arises out of Optimus trying and failing to be the best person or to make the most morally good choices he's trying to make. Basically, the "feral/unhinged" label is just another way of me trying to say that he's not just unhinged because he's weird or because he's a bad person, but because it's an emotional reaction (more like an emotional explosion due to pent-up emotions) to the context he exists in.
I'd also say that IDW OP's personality being generally reserved/stoic and (trying to be) noble works in tandem with those moments he has of going feral because it makes him more realistic. His psyche is treated in a way where the writers are like, "Hey what if the pressure of having to be everyone's idol and be the best person in the galaxy at all times actually broke Optimus down mentally and emotionally?" It makes IDW OP far more relatable. Instead of naturally being a perfect Christ-like figure who never wavers in his morals or convictions and is just naturally a nice person who always has the wisest and best answer, being a good person is something that IDW OP has to consciously strive to be. Even when he feels like it's useless, or the cycle of violence will never stop, or any attempts he makes to help only ends up with things becoming worse.
And I feel like this does a service not only to IDW Optimus as a character, but also as a sort of moral/philosophical perspective for the reader to ponder upon? I feel like culture at large (or at least my experience of it) tends to believe that "goodness" in a person is simply an innate feature that people are born/not born with, and that being "good" means that you must be good at all times, both in your actions as well as the way you feel emotionally about yourself and the world. Like, there's a tendency for our vision of "a good person" to be good in every aspect at all times without having to try to be a good person. So I think IDW Optimus' character stands as a good example of how someone can be good at heart but still struggle to maintain those feelings of optimism and hope and justice. It's a good idea to have such a paragon of a character (in-universe and out-of-universe) be so conflicted and to even be mistaken, misguided, or make things worse because it shows that goodness is as much about "trying to behave/act in a way that is good" and not just "existing as an innately good person."
It's way more realistic for a person to want to be good, try to be good, and sometimes/often fail than it is for them to just be a good person. I enjoy the fact that IDW Optimus is both a good person at heart, but also has to strive to be a good person and live up to other people's expectations of what they see in him. I like how he wants to be a good person and change society for the better, but he also spends a good amount of time either feeling hopeless and alone or being angry at/detached from other people because of how frustrated they make him. He's realistically portrayed as someone who wants to be good and hopeful and change things for the better, but is also mentally and emotionally broken by that burden because of how impossible it is for him to Fix Everything and be the Perfect Prime/Leader/Autobot that people see him as. It's this fascinating mixture of "yes, this is who he is as a person" but also "there are things he desires to be that he could never possibly become or live up to."
This got really far off based from feral/unhinged Optimus sdklfjaslkdlfkas. The TLDR is that if people want unhinged OP, I feel like they should give IDW OP a chance because he IS unhinged but he's unhinged in a way that's a realistic/thematic representation of how being an Absolute Good is impossible. And how being a good person isn't just about Existing And You Are A Good Person, but rather goodness is a constant state of flux in which you adjust, you make mistakes, you lose your temper and feel hopeless, but then you pick yourself up and try again.
Also IDW OP really likes climbing in dangerous wilderness and jumping out of flying vehicles which I think is very feral and sexy of him to do.
#squiggposting#idw op love#idk if i adequately explained it in the body of the post. but i really do feel some kind of way about the idea of like#being a good person isn't about just being static. always being the same person. just naturally being good and nice all teh time#but rather being a good person will cause you to be CHALLENGED and being a good person calls you to ACT#and you WILL make mistakes. there's never a situation in which you're all wise and always have the right solution or are infinitely patient#but goodness is something you can CHOOSE something you can BECOME and you can still have negative emotions and CHOOSE to be good#like being a good person is a continuous process of self improvement. you aren't just born a good person#and i'm not trying to tear down the notion of 'goodness' or say it doesn't exist#rather i'm trying to say that it's far more comforting to hear that you don't have to be The Best Person at all times#it's comforting to know that good people aren't just Effortlessly Good because they were Just Born That Way Naturally#there certainly are some people like that but most of us aren't like that. and i just like idw op for that reason#he shows that like. you can be a fucked up mentally ill guy who despairs and loses his temper and is basically suicidal#but you also still genuinely try to be hopeful and try to help others. like you are good because you Try To Be Good#and you Try To Hold Onto Your Principles bc giving up or becoming evil isn't an option for you#but also trying to be A Good Person drives you fucking crazy bc we live in a universe where that perfect good simply isn't possible#so the result is an optimus who's at once Noble Paragon and Unhinged bc he's unhinged as a result of trying to be a paragon
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midwest indigo can be so personal
#the deep aching sadness and longing#the complete acceptance of a hometown and its residents disappointing you every time you return#trying over and over to reach out and getting nothing in return#you keep leaving and coming back hoping for better results and always being let down#but then the pre choruses are there to remind us of those weird days and nights with your childhood friends just goofing off#i feel like it's just two friends on the phone trying to hang out after school or work#reminds me of food court taco bell and smoking weed behind a target#and then the chorus takes you right back out of the nostalgia because it doesn't do anyone any good to romanticize the past#but it's there as a reminder that those beautiful memories did happen#twenty one pilots#tøp#twenty øne piløts#midwest indigo#clancy
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sonaposting? :3
turns you into a glitter sticker and rotates you in my mind
#heeeeeheee#i had glitter stickers on the brain which resulted in this#id like to thank my friend owlbis and his editing skills for the animation#i downloaded davinci resolve and tried to do it myself and it did NOT turn out as good as this. so yeah shoutout to him#anywho! your sona is v cool n i hope you like this silly thing#furry#anthro#artists on tumblr#sfw furry#my art#sho.scribbles#sho.schmoves#fun fact: the time i spent on this is like 20% drawing and 80% waiting on files to upload. genuinely took me like an hour to-#upload a 24mb gif to a gif compressor site. my internet sucks so baddd lmao#anywho this was v fun to draw. also i now have the power to turn any future drawings into a spinny sticker. heeheeeee#oh also lycan if you want the image version or the pic w/o glitter fx shoot me a dm awawawawaa
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the things you do for love ~
Queen of Tears (2024), dir. Jang Young-Woo, Kim Hee-Won
#oh and hope#how you cling on to literally anything and everything that gives you something along the lines of hope#and how cruel is it yet the only lifeline#and love how it has to be nurtured how falling in it is takes seconds and how staying in love requires your heart and soul and efforts and#well results into a dream really but the efforts#the efforts in caps and bold#kdrama#queen of tears#oh and this sceene#a cinematic masterpiece will stay in mind for w while#like if i was sane i'd have cried def#kim soo hyun#kim ji won#Might take me forever to get over this oh god
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Before Project Mayhem, before fight club, before Marla, before Tyler — there is still one sad sack of shit.
.
.
The hard part about work trips isn't making the plane or seeing another family of five burnt into their leather seats. It's missing support groups.
See, if you're lucky, the company will send you out to a major city. Cities are great. A little advanced work to find a slightly below average church or library, you're set each night you're there.
It's a bit of novelty, getting to be a new face all at once. People assume you've just been diagnosed. It's never the failed treatments, the degradation of their life and everyone in it, the continuous experience of knowingly dying — none of those things are the worst thing that happens to you.
It's finding out they will.
So people cry. They crowd around, I sob like I've been told I've got stage four colon cancer and three weeks to live. We all cry. I sleep soundly on the plane back or in the nice, four star hotel my company provides me.
Flying out to a small town, though. I'll be awake enough to be hallucinating by the time I get back for Remaining Men Together. The only mercy is that the next time I show for all the groups I missed, I can see who thought I died. I get to be resurrected.
The other part about small towns, you have to take a second, shitter plane to a local airfield, or you have to take a rental car. One of the most popular rental cars available right now, it'll light itself on fire if you use the cruise control at the wrong time. I know this because I sat next to another guy with my job, who worked for a different company, and he said I'll show you mine if you show me yours. So I told him about the faulty airbags, and he told me about the overheating switch.
I prefer to avoid driving.
All the rental place at the airport has left for me, it's one of those flaming cars. I use cruise control. If I don't, one of my narcoleptic spells will send me into the Jersey barrier.
When you drive into these small towns, you have to try to pay attention, or you'll end up a county over talking about the wrong wreck. They're otherwise interchangeable, but the miles on your rental car won't line up and those are the type of records that might get pulled out when the company is finally sued for the big one ten years down the line.
As a result, I see the same decor on the way in every time. Meth lab. Abandoned homes. Garbage fire. Classic Americana. There is no four star hotel here; I sleep the same.
The only reason I've been brought out here is because the poor shithead who drove his truck into the ditch drunk was driving my company's flagship vehicle. It loses power steering if the car jostles the right way going above 55 miles per hour. I've been told to keep track of potential incidents and make sure the company can firmly claim it's not at fault.
We've had this problem for decades, and we will for many more. Sometimes, everything is falling apart.
The job is simple, and I only get tempted by the town's blatant opioid addiction for a day and night. Painkillers would probably make me sleep. The thing about being a recall campaign organizer, though, is like recognizes like. It's not only other Compliance and Liability guys who tell you company secrets while sharing the aisle in business class.
When I'm finally back in my own town, after my own support groups, after crying my eyes out into Bob's meaty middle — I pick up my mail. There's the newest IKEA magazine. Half of it looks like shit. The type of thing you'd only see in some curated art deco, modernist, post-modern traditionalist bohemian minimalist apartment.
I have to have it.
I go to sleep, hard, like God himself tucked me in. I sleep with my wallet net four hundred heavier, because even an IKEA spree tends not to outweigh a work trip. I sleep, with my called in IKEA goods only two short weeks away, my job well done, and I know, my life is complete.
#fight club#my writing#KEY INFO: this is Before Tyler#bit experimental as a result. how to peel away some of the narratorisms but have him still be the narrator? how to make him complacent#like a wisconsin dairy cow but still have undertones of extreme conscious and subconscious distress?#all car faults mentioned are real#ford had an overheating cruise control switch#and some other overheating fire switches#and jeep. i know because i knew a guy with a jeep — they randomly lose pwoer steering sometimes#horrific and scary and potentially deadly in any car — but jeeps have this known and bizzarely widely accepted flaw called the death wobble#which refers to the oscillations that rapidly feed on each other if the car is slightly out of tune#and can result in tearing the steering wheel from your hands#until you slow down#for some reason that's just accepted.#theres a lot of jeep propaganda#anyway you combine those two#you get the picture#i dont doubt theres been incidents even if there hasnt been major recalls lol#i hope this one comes across well... it's always strange to explore an almost hypothetical version of a character. the narrator where Tyler#is just a growing little menace in his head....#I think what made this one fun for me though is the narrator would still be pretty openly bleak I think but the SUBCONSCIOUS stuff.#especially all the stuff I implied at the end. very fun to write#and it was also just fun to lay down the like.... seeds. of things#this is before Tyler in the sense that it's before he was well cooked. Before they met. Etc. Pretty early into the support groups. But yk#he is sleeping.
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In the spirit of poorly drawn mdzs (though it grows less so by the day) here’s a poorly drawn animation of Little Apple! (I sure hope the gif attaches right) You honestly inspire me a lot; I hope you keep drawing, and keep having fun with it!
She winked at me!!!! OMG!!!
#submission#MDZS#Little Apple#thank you so much for this....its absolutely spectacular#I *love* the wink and the little sparkle (its really well done!!! I *wish* I could animate like this!)#I hope this blog inspires you to just create and not worry about perfection! The fun youhave does show in the final result!#Whats the point of learning if you aren't enjoying it? Everyday is a grind for me but Its always a net positive B*)#I hope you also have just as much fun on your art journey as I am! Ill keep my out for you!#also dont worry abt me; little apple just has a short tongue shes just doing a taste test bite I'll be okay
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