#your experience and approach might be different | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

esotericalchemist · 15 hours

Text

𝐑𝐢𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐒𝐢𝐠𝐧𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐋𝐚𝐠𝐧𝐚 𝐋𝐨𝐫𝐝: 𝐒𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐃𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐲 *°:⋆ₓₒ

Masterlist - YouTube (subliminals)

In Vedic astrology, the ascendant, or rising sign, represents the foundation of your personality and approach to life. Each rising sign is ruled by a specific planet, known as the Lagna Lord, which governs key aspects of your life, including your strengths, challenges, and overall destiny. The placement of this ruling planet in different houses of your chart adds further depth, influencing how you express your unique qualities and navigate various life experiences. In this blog, we will explore how each rising sign and its Lagna Lord shape your journey, and what the placement of the ruling planet reveals about your path in life.

𝐀𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐑𝐢𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠

In Vedic astrology, having Aries as your ascendant (Mesha Lagna) gives you a vibrant, fearless, and action-oriented nature. As someone with Aries rising, you are naturally bold, self-reliant, and inclined to take the lead in life. You excel in leadership roles and enjoy starting new projects, often feeling an innate desire to steer the direction of those around you. Mars, your ruling planet, symbolizes drive, bravery, and assertiveness. Mars, your ruling planet, symbolizes drive, bravery, and assertiveness. The house placement of Mars in your chart will play a crucial role in determining how you chase after your goals and overcome obstacles.

Possible Nakshatras:

Ashwini: You act quickly and have a pioneering spirit, with a natural talent for bringing healing or innovative ideas to life. Your enthusiasm is infectious, and you’re known for making fast, decisive choices.

Bharani: You are attuned to life’s cycles of transformation and possess immense inner strength. Freedom is highly valued, and you show great patience and resilience when facing life’s challenges.

Krittika (1st pada): You are sharp, determined, and highly focused. You cut through distractions with ease, always striving for success. You have a strong sense of fairness and an unyielding drive to accomplish your goals.

Mars through the Houses:

Mars in the 1st House: You are naturally assertive, confident, and full of energy. You take charge of situations easily, often stepping into leadership roles with courage and determination.

Mars in the 2nd House: You are highly focused on financial security and work diligently to maintain it. You tend to speak directly and value personal wealth and family assets.

Mars in the 3rd House: A courageous communicator, you’re unafraid to take risks in writing, media, or entrepreneurship. Your relationship with siblings may be competitive, but you tackle challenges head-on.

Mars in the 4th House: Protective of your home and family, you feel deeply connected to your roots. However, emotional intensity can sometimes lead to inner conflict or unease in your domestic life.

Mars in the 5th House: Creative, passionate, and competitive, you thrive in areas like sports, the arts, or speculation. You lead with confidence in activities that demand boldness and self-expression.

Mars in the 6th House: You are fiercely competitive in work and health matters. Challenges don’t faze you, and you may excel in fields related to healthcare, conflict resolution, or service.

Mars in the 7th House: Relationships tend to be intense and dynamic, often attracting strong-willed partners. Conflicts may arise, but they provide opportunities for personal growth.

Mars in the 8th House: Drawn to deep transformation, hidden knowledge, and research, you may face financial challenges related to shared resources but possess the power to emerge stronger from crises.

Mars in the 9th House: Adventurous and philosophical, you are driven to explore new beliefs, cultures, and ideas. Higher education or long-distance travel might be areas of focus, as you seek to broaden your perspective.

Mars in the 10th House: Your career takes center stage, and you are highly motivated to achieve recognition and success. Leadership suits you well, and you approach professional goals with ambition.

Mars in the 11th House: In group settings, you naturally assume a leadership role, and your energy is directed toward achieving long-term objectives. You flourish in social circles that share your ambitions.

Mars in the 12th House: Your drive may be channeled toward spiritual growth, healing, or working behind the scenes. You often seek solitude and introspection, using your energy to explore life’s deeper meanings.

𝐓𝐚𝐮𝐫𝐮𝐬 𝐑𝐢𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠

In Vedic astrology, those with Taurus rising (Vrishabha Lagna) tend to exhibit a calm, practical, and grounded demeanor. As a Taurus ascendant, you naturally gravitate toward stability, comfort, and security in both your personal and professional life. You are patient, reliable, and have a strong desire to build lasting foundations. Consistency and a steady approach are hallmarks of your personality. Venus, your ruling planet, governs love, beauty, and material comforts. Where Venus is positioned in your chart reveals how you seek pleasure, express affection, and secure financial well-being, shaping your life’s direction.

Possible Nakshatras:

Krittika (2nd, 3rd, and 4th padas): You have a keen, discerning mindset with a focus on precision and perfection. Krittika natives are ambitious, and you pursue success with determination, often excelling in creative or leadership roles.

Rohini: Creativity and sensuality come naturally to you, and you are deeply connected to beauty and the arts. You possess charm and artistic flair, drawn to luxurious experiences, seeking comfort and pleasure in life.

Mrigashira (1st and 2nd padas): You are intellectually curious and adaptable, always in search of new knowledge and experiences. Mrigashira natives often channel their creativity into problem-solving, thriving in communication or travel-related ventures.

Venus through the Houses:

Venus in the 1st House: You exude charm, grace, and attractiveness, with a naturally magnetic personality. You prioritize harmony in your relationships and personal appearance, often bringing beauty and elegance into your everyday life.

Venus in the 2nd House: You focus on building financial security and material wealth, often thriving in areas like finance, luxury goods, or beauty. Your speech is pleasant, and you seek stability and comfort in a strong family environment.

Venus in the 3rd House: You communicate with creativity and elegance, often finding success in writing, media, or artistic expression. You may have close, supportive relationships with siblings and a flair for artistic endeavors.

Venus in the 4th House: Home is a source of emotional fulfillment, and you are drawn to beautifying your surroundings. You find joy in your family and heritage, creating a nurturing and comfortable domestic life.

Venus in the 5th House: Passionate and expressive, you thrive in creative or artistic fields. Love and romance play a central role in your happiness, and you may have a strong affinity for children, teaching, or the arts.

Venus in the 6th House: You bring beauty and balance to your everyday routines and work environment. While you enjoy helping others, be mindful of indulgence, particularly in health matters, and focus on maintaining harmony in your daily life.

Venus in the 7th House: Partnerships and relationships are a major focus, and you are drawn to loving, harmonious unions. You seek balance and beauty in your relationships and often attract partners who share your refined tastes.

Venus in the 8th House: You are drawn to transformative and deep relationships, often growing through shared resources or intimate bonds. Your love of mystery and intensity may lead you to explore hidden aspects of life, such as psychology or spirituality.

Venus in the 9th House: You seek harmony and beauty in philosophical, spiritual, or educational pursuits. Travel, higher learning, and broadening your horizons bring fulfillment, and you may be inclined toward creative or artistic teachings.

Venus in the 10th House: Your career may center around the arts, beauty, or luxury industries. You aim for recognition in areas where you can express your creativity, bringing grace and harmony into your professional endeavors.

Venus in the 11th House: You are highly social and enjoy connecting with groups that share your aspirations. Friendships and social networks provide support and inspiration, and you may find success in collaborative or artistic communities.

Venus in the 12th House: You are drawn to spiritual or mystical paths, often seeking solitude for creative inspiration. Your love for beauty and art may manifest in subtle or unconventional ways, and you may find fulfillment by working behind the scenes or helping others.

𝐆𝐞𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐢 𝐑𝐢𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠

In Vedic astrology, a Gemini rising (Mithuna Lagna) bestows you with a lively, inquisitive, and mentally agile nature. As a Gemini ascendant, you are quick-thinking, adaptable, and always in pursuit of new experiences and knowledge. Your mind thrives in environments where communication, learning, and social interaction take center stage. You are naturally inclined toward exchanging ideas and engaging in stimulating conversations. Mercury, your ruling planet, governs intellect, communication, and analytical thinking. The position of Mercury in your chart will influence how you communicate, connect with others, and seek intellectual growth.

Possible Nakshatras:

Mrigashira (3rd and 4th padas): You are intellectually curious and driven by a constant desire for exploration. Mrigashira natives excel in communication, research, and learning, always seeking to broaden their knowledge base.

Ardra: Intense, focused, and transformative, Ardra natives are known for their deep analytical abilities. You have a keen mind and often shine in fields that require scientific or technical expertise.

Punarvasu (1st, 2nd, and 3rd padas): Optimistic and spiritually inclined, Punarvasu natives are nurturing and adaptable. You are drawn to new beginnings, and wisdom-seeking is central to your journey, often finding fulfillment through learning and personal growth.

Mercury through the Houses:

Mercury in the 1st House: You possess a sharp intellect, and your curiosity drives your interactions. Quick-witted and social, you navigate life’s challenges using communication and mental agility, thriving in dynamic environments.

Mercury in the 2nd House: With a talent for clear communication, you have the potential to build financial security through teaching, writing, or public speaking. Your focus is practical, often excelling in commerce or finance-related fields.

Mercury in the 3rd House: A natural communicator, you excel in writing, media, and intellectual endeavors. Your bond with siblings or close friends is important, and you shine in roles that involve networking and idea exchange.

Mercury in the 4th House: You integrate intellect and communication into your home life. You may be drawn to careers in education or real estate, and your home could serve as a center of learning and intellectual growth.

Mercury in the 5th House: Creative and intellectually playful, you excel in areas like teaching, writing, or the arts. You may have a strong interest in education, speculative ventures, or guiding children toward growth and learning.

Mercury in the 6th House: You are methodical and have a knack for problem-solving, especially in areas like health, work, or service. Your analytical nature helps you succeed in administrative, health-related, or organizational roles.

Mercury in the 7th House: Partnerships are intellectually stimulating for you, and you seek relationships that value communication and shared ideas. You may excel in professions centered around partnerships or communication.

Mercury in the 8th House: You are drawn to deep investigation, research, or fields like psychology. With a probing mind, you excel in uncovering hidden truths and may thrive in areas involving finance, transformation, or healing.

Mercury in the 9th House: Your curiosity pushes you toward higher education, travel, and philosophy. You may find success in teaching or sharing knowledge, excelling in writing, publishing, or fields that explore different belief systems.

Mercury in the 10th House: Your career likely revolves around communication, writing, or media. Ambitious in your intellectual pursuits, you bring a sharp, analytical mind to your professional life, aiming for success in public-facing roles.

Mercury in the 11th House: You flourish in social settings, finding success through networking and collaboration. Intellectual or technology-driven fields appeal to you, and you may be drawn to careers that foster social change or collective goals.

Mercury in the 12th House: You may gravitate toward introspective careers such as research, spirituality, or working behind the scenes. With a reflective and analytical mind, you find fulfillment in guiding others through intellectual or spiritual insights.

𝐂𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐫 𝐑𝐢𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠

In Vedic astrology, Cancer rising (Karka Lagna) imbues you with a sensitive, nurturing, and emotionally driven personality. As a Cancer ascendant, you have a deep connection to your emotions and seek comfort and security in your surroundings. You are empathetic, protective, and naturally drawn to caregiving, especially within close relationships or family settings. The Moon, your ruling planet, governs your emotions, intuition, and inner world. The position of the Moon in your chart reveals how you manage your emotional well-being, care for others, and seek stability in life.

Possible Nakshatras:

Punarvasu (4th pada): Adaptable, nurturing, and optimistic, Punarvasu natives are closely connected to family and home life. You find emotional satisfaction in supporting loved ones and creating a safe, comforting environment.

Pushya: Known for being deeply responsible and nurturing, Pushya natives are committed to fostering growth and stability. You excel in roles that allow you to care for others and provide emotional support.

Ashlesha: Intuitive and intense, Ashlesha natives have a profound understanding of emotions, both their own and others’. You have a gift for navigating complex emotional situations and can transform relationships through your emotional insight.

Moon through the Houses:

Moon in the 1st House: You are emotionally attuned, intuitive, and nurturing by nature. Your moods may fluctuate, but your ability to connect with others on an emotional level makes you a caring and empathetic individual.

Moon in the 2nd House: Your emotional well-being is closely tied to material security, and you focus on creating comfort for yourself and your family. You may thrive in areas related to finance, food, or any field where nurturing is central.

Moon in the 3rd House: You express your emotions through communication, often finding fulfillment in writing, speaking, or media. Close relationships with siblings or friends hold significant emotional value, and intellectual pursuits may provide emotional satisfaction.

Moon in the 4th House: Your home, family, and roots are central to your emotional security. You are deeply attached to your domestic life and may find success in real estate, home design, or caregiving professions.

Moon in the 5th House: Creative and playful, you invest a great deal of emotional energy in self-expression and relationships with children. The arts, education, or any field that allows you to nurture others creatively may be particularly fulfilling.

Moon in the 6th House: You are emotionally connected to service, often finding satisfaction in helping others through health, wellness, or caregiving. Balancing your emotional needs with work responsibilities is essential to maintain stability.

Moon in the 7th House: Partnerships are central to your emotional life, and you seek security through relationships. You are nurturing and empathetic in your partnerships, often prioritizing your partner's emotional well-being.

Moon in the 8th House: You are drawn to transformative emotional experiences and may have a deep interest in psychology, mystery, or healing. Your intuition helps you navigate life's emotional complexities, allowing you to grow through difficult circumstances.

Moon in the 9th House: Your emotional fulfillment comes through higher learning, travel, or spiritual exploration. You may be drawn to philosophical or spiritual teachings and may find success in careers like teaching, publishing, or spiritual guidance.

Moon in the 10th House: Your career plays a key role in your emotional well-being, and you seek public recognition for your work. You may excel in nurturing professions, public service, or roles where you can care for and guide others on a larger scale.

Moon in the 11th House: You are emotionally connected to your community and social circles, finding fulfillment through group activities and friendships. You may be drawn to social causes or humanitarian efforts, using your nurturing nature to inspire others.

Moon in the 12th House: You seek emotional satisfaction through introspection, solitude, and spiritual practices. Meditation, healing, or working behind the scenes to support others may provide deep emotional fulfillment. You may also guide others through emotional or spiritual transformations.

𝐋𝐞𝐨 𝐑𝐢𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠

In Vedic astrology, those with Leo rising (Simha Lagna) are endowed with a strong, charismatic, and confident personality. As a Leo ascendant, you naturally gravitate toward leadership and enjoy being in the limelight. Your presence is radiant, and you often express yourself with boldness and creativity. The Sun, your ruling planet, represents vitality, authority, and self-expression. The position of the Sun in your chart will shape how you assert your identity, take charge, and influence your surroundings.

Possible Nakshatras:

Magha: Noble, proud, and inclined toward leadership, Magha natives often have a deep connection to their ancestral roots. You aim to uphold traditions with respect and dignity, seeking positions of authority and influence.

Purva Phalguni: Known for your charm and love of life's pleasures, you are drawn to creativity, beauty, and luxury. Purva Phalguni natives enjoy art, entertainment, and socializing, often thriving in environments that celebrate beauty and leisure.

Uttara Phalguni (1st pada): Practical and generous, you focus on creating long-term stability. Uttara Phalguni natives balance personal enjoyment with social responsibility, often excelling in leadership roles that benefit others and create lasting impact.

Sun through the Houses:

Sun in the 1st House: You possess a natural authority and exude confidence in all aspects of life. Leadership is second nature, and you often take initiative, inspiring those around you with your charisma and boldness.

Sun in the 2nd House: Your focus is on financial stability and building material success. You take pride in managing resources effectively, often gaining recognition for your ability to secure wealth and provide comfort for your family.

Sun in the 3rd House: A natural communicator, you are bold in expressing your ideas and excel in fields like writing, teaching, or media. Your influence grows through intellectual pursuits, and you often stand out in debates or discussions.

Sun in the 4th House: Your emotional well-being is deeply connected to your home and family life. You take pride in creating a secure and harmonious household, and you may find success in real estate, home-related industries, or caregiving.

Sun in the 5th House: Creative and expressive, you are passionate about self-expression and may excel in the arts, entertainment, or speculative ventures. Your playful nature and romantic spirit draw attention, and you thrive in environments that celebrate creativity.

Sun in the 6th House: Dedicated to service and hard work, you take on leadership roles in your workplace, organizing and improving systems. You are driven by a sense of duty and responsibility, often excelling in environments where you can help others and lead by example.

Sun in the 7th House: Partnerships play a significant role in your life, and you seek recognition through your relationships. You may be drawn to influential partners, and your leadership qualities are likely to manifest in both business and marriage.

Sun in the 8th House: You are drawn to deep, transformative experiences and may have a strong interest in psychology, research, or the occult. Your strength often comes through managing crises or handling other people's resources, where your leadership shines in challenging situations.

Sun in the 9th House: You are passionate about expanding your horizons through philosophy, education, and travel. You may find success in teaching, publishing, or roles that allow you to influence others with your knowledge of different cultures and ideas.

Sun in the 10th House: Ambition drives you to seek leadership and authority in your career. You are highly focused on achieving public recognition and leaving a lasting legacy through your professional accomplishments.

Sun in the 11th House: Focused on long-term goals, you often work within large organizations or social causes. You thrive in group settings and are likely to gain recognition through your contributions to collective efforts, often taking on leadership roles within your community.

Sun in the 12th House: You may be inclined toward solitude, spirituality, or working behind the scenes. Your leadership qualities are expressed in more quiet, introspective ways, often finding fulfillment through helping others or pursuing spiritual growth.

𝐕𝐢𝐫𝐠𝐨 𝐑𝐢𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠

In Vedic astrology, Virgo rising (Kanya Lagna) gives you a practical, analytical, and service-oriented nature. As a Virgo ascendant, you are detail-focused, methodical, and constantly striving for improvement in yourself and your surroundings. Known for your intellectual approach, you excel at organizing and refining everything you do. Your ruling planet is Mercury, which governs intellect, communication, and analytical thinking. The placement of Mercury in your chart will show how you process information, communicate, and manage your day-to-day responsibilities.

Possible Nakshatras:

Uttara Phalguni (2nd, 3rd, and 4th padas): You are responsible, hardworking, and focused on creating long-term success. Uttara Phalguni natives balance personal happiness with social responsibilities, and your generosity and dedication make you stand out in leadership and supportive roles.

Hasta: Resourceful and skilled, you have a natural talent for detail and craftsmanship. Hasta natives are adaptable and excellent problem-solvers, thriving in service-oriented or creative fields where precision is required.

Chitra (1st and 2nd padas): Charismatic and creative, Chitra natives are driven to make their mark on the world through beauty and artistic expression. You may excel in design, architecture, or any field that allows you to create something lasting and beautiful.

Mercury through the Houses:

Mercury in the 1st House: Highly intellectual and communicative, you possess a sharp mind and an analytical approach to life. You excel in fields that require critical thinking, such as writing, teaching, or problem-solving, and your curiosity keeps you engaged in constant learning.

Mercury in the 2nd House: Skilled in managing resources, you are practical and calculated when it comes to building wealth. Your communication abilities play a key role in your financial success, making you thrive in business, commerce, or public speaking.

Mercury in the 3rd House: You have a natural affinity for communication, writing, and intellectual exchange. A strong bond with siblings and peers is likely, and your quick thinking and adaptability make you well-suited for media, marketing, or any field that requires sharp mental agility.

Mercury in the 4th House: Your intellectual pursuits are centered around home and family life. You may find success in real estate, education, or home-based enterprises, using your sharp mind to create stability and security within your personal environment.

Mercury in the 5th House: Creative and intellectually curious, you enjoy engaging in teaching, the arts, or speculative ventures. You approach creativity with analysis and precision, making you an excellent mentor or academic guide to others.

Mercury in the 6th House: Highly organized and detail-oriented, you excel in problem-solving within work or health-related fields. Your practical nature helps you navigate daily responsibilities with ease, leading to success in administrative, healthcare, or service professions.

Mercury in the 7th House: Partnerships hold intellectual significance for you, and you seek mental stimulation in relationships. You may excel in consulting, law, or client-based services, where your analytical skills and clear communication are highly valued.

Mercury in the 8th House: You have a strong inclination toward research and uncovering hidden truths. Whether in finance, psychology, or healing, your intellectual depth allows you to solve complex problems and bring clarity to mysterious or transformative situations.

Mercury in the 9th House: Your intellectual curiosity drives you toward higher education, travel, and philosophical exploration. You may find success in teaching, publishing, or law, where your ability to break down complex ideas helps others understand new perspectives.

Mercury in the 10th House: Career-oriented and ambitious, you thrive in professions that demand intellect and analytical skills. Business, technology, or media are areas where your sharp mind shines, and your problem-solving abilities bring you recognition and success.

Mercury in the 11th House: You excel in social settings and collaborative environments, often finding success through networking and teamwork. Intellectual or technology-driven fields attract you, and you may thrive in roles that promote social change or collective goals.

Mercury in the 12th House: Reflective and introspective, you are drawn to deep research or spiritual pursuits. You find fulfillment working behind the scenes or in healing professions, using your analytical abilities to provide clarity and understanding to those in need.

𝐋𝐢𝐛𝐫𝐚 𝐑𝐢𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠

In Vedic astrology, Libra rising (Tula Lagna) grants you a diplomatic, charming, and relationship-oriented personality. As a Libra ascendant, you have a natural inclination towards balance, harmony, and beauty, especially in how you relate to others. You seek fairness and often serve as a mediator, working to create peace and equality in your surroundings. Your ruling planet is Venus, which governs love, aesthetics, and harmony. The placement of Venus in your chart will illuminate how you approach relationships, beauty, and your pursuit of comfort and pleasure in life.

Possible Nakshatras:

Chitra (3rd and 4th padas): You are creative and charismatic, driven to leave your mark on the world through artistic expression. Chitra natives often excel in fields that require design, craftsmanship, or an appreciation for beauty and aesthetics.

Swati: Independence and adaptability define your nature. Swati natives are known for their grace and flexibility in overcoming life’s challenges, often succeeding in diplomacy, negotiation, and maintaining balance in difficult situations.

Vishakha (1st, 2nd, and 3rd padas): You are ambitious, focused, and determined to achieve your goals. Vishakha natives possess strong leadership qualities and thrive in roles that require perseverance, focus, and a relentless drive for success.

Venus through the Houses:

Venus in the 1st House: Your charm, grace, and natural attractiveness draw others to you. You place a high value on relationships and beauty, excelling in fields where diplomacy, creativity, or public relations are key elements of success.

Venus in the 2nd House: You prioritize material wealth and comfort, often using your creativity to build financial security. Success may come in areas related to luxury goods, finance, or the arts, and your refined taste adds value to your professional and personal pursuits.

Venus in the 3rd House: Creative communication is your strength, and you excel in writing, media, or other intellectual endeavors. Your relationships with siblings may be important, and you enjoy collaborating with others, exchanging ideas, and sharing artistic or intellectual projects.

Venus in the 4th House: Your home is a sanctuary of beauty and comfort, and you are deeply attached to family life. You may find success in real estate, interior design, or any career that involves creating harmonious environments that nurture both body and soul.

Venus in the 5th House: Romance, creativity, and self-expression play a central role in your life. You may excel in the arts, entertainment, or speculative ventures, and your romantic relationships are vital to your emotional well-being and personal development.

Venus in the 6th House: You bring a sense of beauty and balance to your work life, excelling in service-oriented professions. Careers related to health, wellness, or aesthetics suit you well, as you find ways to combine practicality with your refined sense of harmony.

Venus in the 7th House: Partnerships are the core of your life, and you seek love, harmony, and balance in your relationships. You are likely to excel in romantic and business partnerships that align with your values, and you may thrive in careers that require negotiation and diplomacy.

Venus in the 8th House: You are drawn to deep, transformative relationships, and your love life may be marked by intensity and passion. You may also find success in fields like finance, psychology, or research, where your exploration of the deeper aspects of life and relationships leads to growth.

Venus in the 9th House: Beauty and balance are themes in your pursuit of higher knowledge, philosophy, and travel. You may find fulfillment in teaching, writing, or exploring different cultures, where your appreciation for aesthetics and harmony broadens your understanding of the world.

Venus in the 10th House: Your career is likely to be focused on the arts, beauty, or diplomacy, and you strive for recognition in these areas. Fields like public relations, law, or creative industries may be especially fulfilling, as you work toward success with grace and poise.

Venus in the 11th House: You thrive in group settings, where your charm and diplomatic nature help you connect with others and achieve shared goals. You may find success in social causes, technology, or any career that involves networking, collaboration, and collective progress.

Venus in the 12th House: You are drawn to spirituality, art, or healing, often finding fulfillment in working behind the scenes. Your creativity and sensitivity may be expressed through charitable work, healing professions, or spiritual retreats, where you can use your gifts to help others find peace and comfort.

𝐒𝐜𝐨𝐫𝐩𝐢𝐨 𝐑𝐢𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠

In Vedic astrology, those with Scorpio rising (Vrishchika Lagna) are characterized by their intense, magnetic, and determined nature. As a Scorpio ascendant, you are known for your emotional depth, resilience, and transformative energy. You approach life with a sense of intensity, seeking to uncover its deeper mysteries and hidden truths. Your ruling planet is Mars, representing action, courage, and vitality. The placement of Mars in your chart shows how you assert yourself, navigate challenges, and pursue your goals with laser focus and determination.

Possible Nakshatras:

Vishakha (4th pada): Ambitious and driven, you are focused on achieving your goals with perseverance. Vishakha natives excel in leadership and competitive environments, using their strong will and determination to succeed.

Anuradha: Loyal, compassionate, and deeply spiritual, Anuradha natives are skilled in forming strong, supportive partnerships. You balance power with grace and are known for your devotion to your personal and spiritual path.

Jyeshta: Authoritative, protective, and powerful, you have a natural instinct to control your surroundings. Jyeshta natives often take on leadership roles and possess a deep understanding of responsibility and authority.

Mars through the Houses:

Mars in the 1st House: You are assertive, confident, and have a commanding presence. Leadership comes naturally to you, and your courage and resilience help you overcome obstacles with determination. You face challenges head-on, unafraid to take risks.

Mars in the 2nd House: Your focus is on achieving financial security and stability. You excel in business, finance, or managing resources, approaching wealth-building with strategy and a strong determination to succeed materially.

Mars in the 3rd House: You are a dynamic communicator, excelling in fields like writing, media, or any domain requiring quick thinking. You thrive in intellectual competition and may have a strong, sometimes competitive, relationship with siblings.

Mars in the 4th House: Protective and nurturing, you are deeply invested in your home and family life. However, your intensity can sometimes create emotional tension, so finding a balance between control and compassion is key for harmonious relationships at home.

Mars in the 5th House: You are passionate about creativity and take bold risks in speculative ventures or artistic pursuits. Your romantic life is full of excitement and intensity, and you naturally assume leadership roles in creative or competitive settings.

Mars in the 6th House: Highly disciplined, you excel in work environments that involve service, health, or conflict resolution. Your strong work ethic and ability to confront challenges head-on ensure success in overcoming obstacles and achieving goals.

Mars in the 7th House: You are attracted to strong-willed, assertive partners, and your relationships are often marked by intensity and passion. While conflicts may arise, these challenges push you to grow, fostering deeper and more meaningful connections.

Mars in the 8th House: You are naturally drawn to life's deeper mysteries, and your career may involve research, psychology, or handling joint finances. Your ability to navigate crises with strength makes you a go-to person during challenging times of transformation.

Mars in the 9th House: Adventurous and curious, you are passionate about exploring new cultures, philosophies, and spiritual beliefs. You are driven to expand your knowledge and horizons, often through travel or higher education, seeking wisdom from life’s experiences.

Mars in the 10th House: Ambitious and career-driven, you often rise to leadership positions in your professional life. You thrive in competitive environments and have a relentless drive for success, making you highly respected in your chosen field.

Mars in the 11th House: A natural leader in group settings, you focus your energy on achieving long-term goals. You thrive in collaborative environments, especially in social or professional networks where collective success is the primary objective.

Mars in the 12th House: You are drawn to introspection and may find fulfillment in spiritual or healing professions. Working behind the scenes or in isolated environments suits you well, and you often use your energy to guide others through deep emotional or psychological challenges.

𝐒𝐚𝐠𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐮𝐬 𝐑𝐢𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠

In Vedic astrology, Sagittarius rising (Dhanu Lagna) endows you with an optimistic, adventurous, and philosophical nature. As a Sagittarius ascendant, you have a strong drive for exploration, growth, and gaining a deeper understanding of life. You are constantly seeking knowledge and truth, often through travel, education, or spiritual pursuits. Your ruling planet is Jupiter, the planet of wisdom, expansion, and higher learning. Jupiter’s placement in your chart reveals how you strive for personal growth, broaden your horizons, and achieve success by living ethically and seeking wisdom.

Possible Nakshatras:

Mula: Intensely curious, you are driven to uncover the core truth of any matter. Mula natives have a deep connection to transformation and are known for their ability to let go of the past, seek deeper truths, and embrace renewal.

Purva Ashadha: Ambitious, creative, and determined, you focus on achieving your goals despite challenges. Purva Ashadha natives excel in leadership and social influence, using their resilience to rise above obstacles.

Uttara Ashadha (1st pada): Practical and focused on long-term success, Uttara Ashadha natives are known for their strong sense of duty and responsibility. You work diligently and achieve recognition through hard work, persistence, and dedication.

Jupiter through the Houses:

Jupiter in the 1st House: You radiate optimism, wisdom, and a sense of purpose, making you a natural leader and mentor. You influence others through your expansive knowledge and positive outlook, often taking on roles that inspire and guide others toward growth and understanding.

Jupiter in the 2nd House: You focus on creating financial security and material wealth through ethical means. Whether through teaching, advising, or religious pursuits, your ability to accumulate resources is supported by your wisdom and deep understanding of financial matters.

Jupiter in the 3rd House: Intellectually curious, you excel in communication, writing, or teaching. You enjoy sharing your insights with others, and your strong bond with siblings or peers is likely to be centered on intellectual or philosophical exchanges.

Jupiter in the 4th House: Emotional fulfillment comes from your home and family. You may be drawn to careers in real estate, education, or offering guidance to others. Creating a stable, nurturing environment for yourself and loved ones brings you peace and satisfaction.

Jupiter in the 5th House: You are highly creative and find joy in self-expression, education, and mentoring. Whether through teaching, raising children, or engaging in intellectual pursuits, you experience fulfillment in nurturing creativity and growth in others.

Jupiter in the 6th House: Service is central to your life’s purpose, and you excel in professions related to health, wellness, or law. You have a talent for resolving conflicts and offering guidance in difficult situations, often rising to positions of authority and respect.

Jupiter in the 7th House: Partnerships—both personal and professional—are key to your growth. You seek relationships based on intellectual and spiritual connections, and you may excel in fields such as law, consulting, or diplomacy, where your wisdom helps resolve disputes.

Jupiter in the 8th House: You are drawn to transformative fields such as psychology, research, or financial management. Your deep insights allow you to manage joint resources or navigate crises with wisdom, turning challenges into opportunities for growth.

Jupiter in the 9th House: You are passionate about higher education, philosophy, and spirituality, often finding success in teaching, publishing, or international travel. Sharing your knowledge and expanding your horizons brings fulfillment, and you inspire others to do the same.

Jupiter in the 10th House: Your career focuses on leadership, education, or guiding others through wisdom. You often rise to prominent positions in fields like law, education, or religion, where your ability to lead with ethics and integrity earns you recognition and respect.

Jupiter in the 11th House: You thrive in group settings and collaborative efforts, often succeeding through networking and collective projects. You are drawn to humanitarian or community-driven causes and work to achieve long-term goals that create positive social impact.

Jupiter in the 12th House: Introspective and spiritually inclined, you find fulfillment in charitable or healing professions. You excel in fields that require solitude, deep reflection, or spiritual guidance, and your wisdom makes you a source of comfort for others in times of crisis.

𝐂𝐚𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐜𝐨𝐫𝐧 𝐑𝐢𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠

In Vedic astrology, Capricorn rising (Makara Lagna) bestows a disciplined, ambitious, and responsible nature. As a Capricorn ascendant, you are deeply focused on long-term success and stability, often working with patience and determination to reach your goals. You value hard work, structure, and perseverance, understanding that success often comes through sustained effort and sacrifice. Your ruling planet is Saturn, symbolizing discipline, endurance, and the lessons learned through challenges. The placement of Saturn in your chart will indicate how you handle responsibilities, face obstacles, and steadily build your life over time.

Possible Nakshatras:

Uttara Ashadha (2nd, 3rd, and 4th padas): Practical, dedicated, and hardworking, you are focused on long-term success. Uttara Ashadha natives are known for their strong sense of duty and ability to rise to positions of leadership through perseverance.

Shravana: Wise, attentive, and detail-oriented, Shravana natives excel in learning and communication. You may find success in fields that involve listening, observation, and intellectual growth, often using your knowledge to guide others.

Dhanishta (1st and 2nd padas): Ambitious and resourceful, you have a natural talent for managing resources and leading others. Dhanishta natives often excel in business, finance, or leadership roles, driven by a desire for material success and achievement.

Saturn through the Houses:

Saturn in the 1st House: You possess a serious, mature, and responsible demeanor, often taking on leadership roles early in life. Your disciplined nature helps you overcome challenges with resilience, and you are known for your patience and ability to work toward long-term goals.

Saturn in the 2nd House: Building financial security is a priority for you, often achieved through hard work and careful financial planning. You may face financial challenges in your early years, but your persistence and discipline ensure material success later in life.

Saturn in the 3rd House: A careful and thoughtful communicator, you prefer to plan your words and actions. You may excel in writing, teaching, or fields that require patience and precision, achieving success through careful effort and attention to detail.

Saturn in the 4th House: Your connection to home and family is strong, though you may face responsibilities or challenges in these areas. Over time, through hard work, you create a stable and secure domestic environment, often improving family conditions through perseverance.

Saturn in the 5th House: You take a disciplined and cautious approach to creativity, romance, and speculative ventures. While not impulsive in these areas, your steady and serious attitude leads to long-term success, particularly in teaching or guiding others creatively.

Saturn in the 6th House: Hardworking and service-oriented, you excel in fields that require discipline, precision, and a focus on routine tasks. Success in health, law, administration, or any field that demands attention to detail is likely to come through sustained effort.

Saturn in the 7th House: Your relationships are serious and committed, though you may face delays or challenges in forming long-lasting partnerships. You seek stable, dependable connections, and your disciplined approach often leads to enduring, successful unions.

Saturn in the 8th House: You are drawn to areas involving deep transformation, research, or financial management, particularly in dealing with joint resources or inheritance. Though you may face challenges in these areas, your resilience allows you to overcome difficulties and emerge stronger.

Saturn in the 9th House: Dedicated to higher learning, philosophy, or spirituality, you take a disciplined approach to expanding your knowledge. Recognition in teaching, law, or religious fields may come through your long-term focus and commitment to mastering your chosen field.

Saturn in the 10th House: Career success is a central theme in your life, and you are determined to rise to leadership positions. Through perseverance and hard work, you often gain authority and recognition in your professional endeavors, thriving in roles that demand responsibility.

Saturn in the 11th House: Focused on achieving long-term aspirations, you work hard to build strong social networks and group connections. Although you may face delays or challenges in reaching your goals, your disciplined and persistent approach ensures success in large organizations or group efforts.

Saturn in the 12th House: Introspective and drawn to spiritual or healing professions, you may work in isolation or behind the scenes. Your patient and disciplined nature allows you to contribute meaningfully through charitable work, spiritual guidance, or in helping others in subtle but impactful ways.

𝐀𝐪𝐮𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐮𝐬 𝐑𝐢𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠

In Vedic astrology, Aquarius rising (Kumbha Lagna) imbues you with a visionary, intellectual, and socially conscious character. As an Aquarius ascendant, you are driven by the desire to contribute to the greater good, often focusing on humanitarian causes and societal progress. Known for your innovative thinking and forward-looking approach, you value knowledge, social reform, and collective well-being. Saturn, your ruling planet, represents structure, discipline, and long-term goals. The placement of Saturn in your chart highlights how you channel your ideals into tangible accomplishments, guided by discipline and perseverance.

Possible Nakshatras:

Dhanishta (3rd and 4th padas): Ambitious and resourceful, you excel in managing resources and networks effectively. Dhanishta natives are known for their leadership abilities and focus on achieving material success, often through disciplined efforts.

Shatabhishak: Intellectual, independent, and driven by humanitarian ideals, Shatabhishak natives are natural healers and innovators. You explore unconventional paths and seek to bring about transformation through knowledge, technology, and social reform.

Purva Bhadrapada (1st pada): Philosophical and idealistic, you are focused on higher spiritual or intellectual pursuits. Purva Bhadrapada natives aim to initiate positive change, often using wisdom and transformative actions to achieve lasting impact.

Saturn through the Houses:

Saturn in the 1st House: You are serious, responsible, and self-disciplined, often exuding a maturity beyond your years. Your strong sense of purpose leads you to take on leadership roles, particularly in social or humanitarian causes, where your dedication and patience pave the way for long-term success.

Saturn in the 2nd House: Your focus is on achieving financial security through careful planning and disciplined saving. You may accumulate wealth slowly but steadily, ensuring long-term stability by adhering to a cautious and methodical approach to material gains.

Saturn in the 3rd House: You are disciplined in communication, often excelling in writing, teaching, or intellectual work. Learning and skill development come through patience and persistence, and you may take on significant responsibilities with siblings or close peers.

Saturn in the 4th House: Challenges or responsibilities may arise related to home and family life, but you are committed to creating a stable and secure environment. Through hard work and sacrifice, you eventually build a solid foundation for yourself and your loved ones.

Saturn in the 5th House: In creative endeavors, romance, or speculative ventures, your approach is cautious and disciplined. Although you may face delays or obstacles, your methodical nature ensures that your efforts lead to long-term success, particularly in guiding or teaching others.

Saturn in the 6th House: You excel in service-oriented or health-related professions, where attention to detail and discipline are essential. Challenges in your work environment or health may arise, but your perseverance enables you to overcome obstacles and succeed through persistence.

Saturn in the 7th House: Relationships and partnerships are serious and long-lasting, though you may encounter delays in forming connections. You seek stable, committed unions, and your disciplined approach to relationships ensures enduring and meaningful bonds.

Saturn in the 8th House: You are drawn to deep, transformative experiences, often involving joint resources, inheritance, or crises. Your methodical approach to these intense areas of life helps you navigate challenges, leading to personal growth and strength through adversity.

Saturn in the 9th House: Higher learning, philosophy, and spirituality are areas of deep interest, and you approach them with dedication and discipline. Recognition or success in academic, legal, or religious fields may come through long-term commitment to your intellectual or spiritual pursuits.

Saturn in the 10th House: Career is a primary focus for you, and you rise to positions of authority through hard work and perseverance. Leadership roles suit you well, as you thrive in structured environments where discipline, organization, and long-term planning are valued.

Saturn in the 11th House: Your focus is on achieving long-term aspirations and building strong social networks. Though you may face delays or challenges in reaching your goals, your disciplined approach ensures eventual success, especially in community or humanitarian efforts.

Saturn in the 12th House: You are introspective and may be drawn to spiritual, healing, or charitable work. Working behind the scenes or in isolation allows you to contribute meaningfully to society, using your patience and discipline to help others through service or quiet dedication.

𝐏𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐞𝐬 𝐑𝐢𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠

In Vedic astrology, Pisces rising (Meena Lagna) imparts a compassionate, imaginative, and spiritually inclined nature. As a Pisces ascendant, your intuition and sensitivity drive your actions, and you often seek deeper meaning in life. You are idealistic, empathetic, and naturally drawn to creative or spiritual pursuits. Jupiter, your ruling planet, governs wisdom, growth, and expansion, guiding you in your quest for knowledge, spiritual understanding, and personal development. The placement of Jupiter in your chart reveals how you grow intellectually and spiritually while helping others on their journey.

Possible Nakshatras:

Purva Bhadrapada (2nd, 3rd, and 4th padas): Idealistic and philosophical, you are focused on spiritual transformation and making a meaningful impact on the world. Purva Bhadrapada natives often work toward creating lasting change through wisdom and altruism.

Uttara Bhadrapada: Calm, composed, and deeply spiritual, Uttara Bhadrapada natives bring stability and balance to their lives. You are focused on attaining inner peace and wisdom, often seeking emotional and spiritual harmony.

Revati: Compassionate, nurturing, and imaginative, Revati natives have a strong connection to the arts and spirituality. You excel in roles that involve healing, creativity, or guiding others, often bringing care and emotional support to those around you.

Jupiter through the Houses:

Jupiter in the 1st House: You are naturally optimistic, wise, and generous, with a strong sense of purpose. Your philosophical and spiritual outlook on life often inspires others, and you may find yourself in leadership roles where you can guide and uplift people through your compassion.

Jupiter in the 2nd House: Focused on building wealth through ethical means, you use your wisdom to create material security. You may find success in fields related to finance, education, or spiritual guidance, and your generosity often leads to prosperity.

Jupiter in the 3rd House: Your intellectual curiosity drives you to excel in communication-based professions such as writing or teaching. You love sharing your knowledge and often inspire others with your deep insights and broad perspectives.

Jupiter in the 4th House: Emotional fulfillment comes from home and family life, where you create a nurturing environment. You may be drawn to careers in real estate, education, or caregiving, using your compassionate nature to bring stability and support to others.

Jupiter in the 5th House: You are passionate about creativity, education, and mentoring. Your love for learning and sharing knowledge leads to success in teaching or guiding others, especially in creative or academic settings where you can inspire growth and development.

Jupiter in the 6th House: Service and healing are central to your life, and you excel in professions related to health and wellness. Your wisdom and practical approach to problem-solving make you a valuable asset in any work environment, particularly those focused on helping others.

Jupiter in the 7th House: Relationships are deeply meaningful to you, and you seek spiritual and intellectual connections with your partners. Success may come through careers in law, consulting, or diplomacy, where your wisdom and ethical approach are highly valued.

Jupiter in the 8th House: You are drawn to profound research and transformation, excelling in areas like psychology, finance, or healing. Your ability to guide others through times of crisis or personal transformation makes you a powerful source of support during difficult periods.

Jupiter in the 9th House: Passionate about philosophy, higher education, and spiritual growth, you excel in teaching, publishing, or religious fields. Your love for sharing knowledge and exploring new ideas allows you to inspire others on their path to enlightenment.

Jupiter in the 10th House: Your career revolves around leadership, teaching, or spiritual guidance, and you often rise to prominence through your wisdom and ethical practices. You thrive in roles where you can lead and mentor others, helping them achieve their potential.

Jupiter in the 11th House: You are social and enjoy working with organizations or groups focused on humanitarian or spiritual causes. Your long-term goals often involve making a positive impact on society, and you find success through collaborative efforts and shared ideals.

Jupiter in the 12th House: Drawn to spirituality, introspection, or charitable work, you often excel in fields that involve healing or solitude. Your deep understanding of life’s mysteries makes you a powerful guide for others, especially during times of emotional or spiritual crisis.

Masterlist - YouTube (subliminals)

215 notes · View notes

arachine · 1 year

Text

yes, i'm ready (to fall in love)

── ˚₊✩‧₊ genre: smut, fluff, mild angst

── ˚₊✩‧₊ synopsis: after reader is persuaded into putting herself back out there by long time friend, shoko, she successfully ends up scoring a date. unbeknownst to her, though, the gods have different plans—and one of them seems especially interested in her relationship with ex-husband, gojo satoru.

or in other words: a failed date results in a night of passion amongst former lovers.

── ˚₊✩‧₊ contents: 13.5k words, ex-husband!gojo + co-parent!gojo, slight dub-con (alcohol use), dumbification, overstimulation, vaginal penetration, unconventional form of contraception (pull-out method - don’t do this), pussy eating + one oc for the sake of plot

── ˚₊✩‧₊ note: i know this is really long and most people don’t have the attention span for it but PLEASE give it a chance! this is literally the longest piece of fiction i’ve ever written and i’m really proud of it :(

songs to listen to for best reading experience: donny hathaway - i love you more than you’ll ever know barbara mason - i’m ready partynextdoor - showing you bryson tiller - been that way

After you divorced your ex-husband, and decided to devote all of your time to being a mother, you never really considered getting back into the dating world. Not that you didn’t eventually want to settle down with someone new, but the dating world now was just so–different.

Different in the sense that meeting people organically was becoming increasingly difficult. It wasn’t like how it used to be in high school or college, and it really didn’t take that much effort then to get a man’s number by the end of your outing.

When you were in your early twenties, a brush of your hand on a man’s arm would’ve worked. An ‘accidental’ bump into someone at a grocery store or cafe might’ve ended in a quick lay. Using these tactics today, though, might earn you some weird looks–have–earned you some weird looks.

You’re on call with a friend from college when you begin recounting something embarrassing that happened to you recently. At first, the conversation started out about all of the professors you would’ve slept with (if given the chance), but then, one thing led to another, and she asked you something that made you wince:

“‘How’s your dating life been since, you know, Satoru?’”

There’s a heavy silence from your end, and she almost thinks you hung up.

“I mean, if you want to share,” she splurts, attempting to approach this gently, “I know that after the divorce, I wasn’t there for you like you needed, but I’d like to make up for that–if you’d let me.”

Shoko’s always been like that. Blunt and charismatic, but gentle and zephyr-light in the way she cares for those closest to her. It’s a trait of hers that you admire, because not so many people would care to treat your heart with such fragility.

“No, it’s okay. You can ask, you know, it’s not this secret thing,” you start, sighing before continuing, “it happened, and it was a mutual decision.”

Shoko hums on the other side, “Well, I’m still sorry. I let us go without talking for far too long…”

“Well, I accept your apology, even if it’s unwarranted. Like I said, it was mutual and…there wasn’t really an intense grieving period for me? The only thing that hurt me is that you distanced yourself. I mean, the girls did miss their aunt Shoko…” you say, trying to make her feel bad but not too bad.

“I know, I know, I’m a bad aunt,” she jests, then the tone shifts to something serious. “I think I was just scared because both of you were my best-friends. I didn’t want to ‘pick sides’, but I see now that it was a mutual decision, so I’m assuming you two are on good-terms?”

Again, you pause, “I mean, yeah. Satoru will always be my best friend. We may not be together romantically but he’s such an integral part of my life, I couldn’t do this–all of this–alone.” After you say it, you feel a weight being lifted off of your chest that you didn’t know was even there.

You think nobody would understand if you told them this. You think they’d question how a person could divorce someone who’s supposed to be their best-friend. And with the way you describe it, they’d probably think you were still in love with him. But Shoko’s different, she gets it. Which is why saying it to her came so easily.

“He is a great father,” she chimes in, “but you two rushed into it so quickly, I don’t think either of you had time to discover yourselves after college.”

Although she can’t see it, you smile. Because she gets it. Even if time did place itself in between the two of you, she was there for most of it, when things were still touch-and-go. When things were fresh, and clumsy.

“Exactly, that was our biggest gripe,” you admit, “We didn’t afford ourselves that time to grow, and I think that hindered our relationship. We weren’t husband and wife first, we were parents–and we were young, way too young.”

“You made it, though,” Shoko tries to brighten the mood, “you’re both amazing parents, and I know those beautiful girls that you created are lucky to have you.”

The intimacy of the conversation sends your emotions into overdrive. You quickly realize how much you missed her, how much you yearned to talk to her. To reconnect on this level.

A single tear cascades down your cheek, and you try not to sound like you’re crying when you say, “Ok, enough about that. You wanted to know about my shitty dating life, right?”

It happened last week, the grocery store incident. You were out picking up a few things for dinner when you spotted a cute guy standing outside of the aisle a few rows from you. He was fit beyond measure, in looks and strength, and was wandering around aimlessly in pursuit of red pepper flakes.

Coincidentally, you just happened to be in the seasoning aisle, and like the good samaritan you were, decided to personally hand-deliver it to him.

You wince as you vividly recall the embarrassing ordeal that ensued immediately after.

“Hey,” you peer from behind the aisle, with a bottle of red pepper flakes in tow. “I heard you mumbling about finding this, and you looked pretty lost, so I thought I’d pick ‘em out for you.”

The man’s brows furrow briefly before his lips up-turn into a grateful smile, “Oh, cool, thank you so much!” As quickly as the conversation started, it ends even quicker. He gives you a final nod of endearment before he’s turning around on his heels to resume his shopping.

“God, could he be any more dense? The men today really make you work for it, huh?” you mumble to yourself, pulling the bosom of your blouse down until a good amount of cleavage is on display. “Okay, alright. You got this, you got this. This always used to work, right? Yeah, men love boobs.”

Walking up to the man again, you try a different approach–a bolder approach. “Not to be a bother but I was wondering if I could-”

“Babe? Oh, there you are,” a new voice interjects. The owner of the voice emerges from around the corner and walks up to the man with a cart and a baby in tow. You’re stunned, to say the least. All you can do is stand there and blink in complete and utter dumbfoundment. As you remain in their presence, you take a moment to analyze the woman. She’s gorgeous, and toned. A real model-type broad, with feline-ish features that make so much sense paired with the man who appears to be her partner.

Oh, you think, and apparently say aloud, too. That’s when the woman turns to you, finally acknowledging your much smaller, and much quieter presence.

“Hi, can we help you?” she smiles, and it’s actually genuine. Toothy and perfect, and totally not jealous. You blink once, twice, before gathering your wits to answer her question.

“Yeah, uh, no. I actually, uhm, was helping your h-husband. He was looking for red pepper flakes,” you mutter embarrassedly, and point to the bottle in his hand. Upon further observation, you notice that she isn’t exactly wearing a ring. You find this odd, especially because his not wearing a ring is what encouraged you to pursue him. Carefully, you prod.

“If I may ask, how come neither of you are wearing rings?” The couple gives each other a look, one that makes you feel like the odd man out. A look that is universally known, and without a doubt, could easily be translated to: ‘did this chick really just ask that?’

Still, you smile as you wait for an answer. The woman takes the initiative. “Yeah, we don’t really believe in rings, isn’t that right, babe?” she says so matter-of-factly. You blink again for what seems like the thousandth time, because of all things, you did not expect that to come out of her mouth. Her husband is quick to validate her statement.

“Yeah, we think rings are unnecessary, you know? You don’t need a piece of metal to confirm your feelings,” he says walking to his partner’s side and wrapping an arm around her.

Disgustingly, the two give each other googly eyes before locking lips briefly. You can tell they’re the type to probably share this information with just about any soul who asks. Today, you just happened to be that unfortunate soul.

“Are you married?” she queries, tilting her head against her husband’s chest.

“I was, now we just…co-parent,” you purse your lips, ready for this entire interaction to be over. The woman frowns at your answer, and this time it’s not as genuine.

“Awe, well, I’m sorry to hear that.”

“It was actually a mutual decision,” you quip.

“Okay,” she smiles, widening her eyes at her husband to signal a departure, “well, it was nice meeting you, and thank you for the red pepper flakes.”

The family turns away and heads to the front where check-out is. You don’t even buy the items you intended to purchase, just leave your cart in the middle of whatever aisle you abandoned it and leave the store.

“Oh, baby, you didn’t?” Shoko asks in horror. You nod your head, still forgetting she can’t see you and the way you’re sliding down against the wall.

“I did, and I shan't ever again,” a laugh erupts from your throat.

“I mean, fuck, are we getting old? ‘Don’t believe in rings,’” she mumbles, “Don’t believe in rings, my ass! Is this what the youth are doing these days? Not proposing with rings?”

Now that you think about it, you wonder how that would even work. “Yeah, right? I mean, how does that even work? ‘Will you marry me? But, actually, you should know I don’t have a ring for you, so people will have to guess that we’re together purely based on vibes and energy,’” you mock, in a not-so-great man voice.

Shoko’s laughing so hard by the end of your bit that she breaks the sound barrier, and the sound that makes on the phone sends you into your own fit of laughter. You laugh so hard it seems like a stream of pee comes out. Curse your developed incontinence after motherhood.

“God, you’re so stupid, I can’t breathe,” she says exasperatedly, and you know that on the other side she’s probably keeling over in her bed.

“Oh, please. I bet you haven’t laughed this hard in a long time, bitch.”

“I haven’t,” she cackles. This back-and-forth continues until the two of you settle down enough to continue discussing your (pee-inducing) love life.

“You tried any dating apps?”

It’s a simple and valid question, but it only makes you laugh even harder. You only stop when the other side of the line goes quiet. “Wait, seriously?”

“Yeah, seriously. It’s what everyone’s doing these days! You’re not that old, you know.”

“Shut up,” you kid, “ it’s just that I never considered it. I mean, dating apps feel so impersonal. How serious do people even take it?”

“Sure, there’s people who use it for casual hook-ups and stuff, but a lot of people do come out of it with a relationship. Just don’t knock it ‘till you try it.”

“Oh?” you muse, curious. You wish Shoko could see your face, and the weird little dance your brows were doing. “Shoko, have you used a dating app before?”

The brunette kisses her teeth. “Can’t get anything past you.”

“Never.”

There’s a sense of hesitance but you encourage her to elaborate because ‘she became estranged from you for almost a decade and needed to pay her dues’. Sighing defeatedly, she eventually acquiesces.

“Fine, fine, maybe I’ve…been on a few dates,” she starts, “–and had a few one night stands, maybe more than a few, and maybe even dated a guy that turned into my stalker–”

“Ieiri Shoko! You naughty, naughty girl! Wait, stalker?”

“To make a long story short, I got a restraining order on that creep. Anyway,” she segues, attempting to change the subject, “We should make you a profile!”

For the rest of your phone call, Shoko guides you through all of the dating app basics. She offers her expert advice as you scroll through your camera roll for potential photos to use. You go through about a hundred before you finally settle on five that she really likes.

The one that she tells you to put first is a photo of you in a bikini. It’s a few years old but she says you look ‘radiant’ and that your ‘tits were practically spilling out of the cups’. Plus, for further consolation, she says most people on dating apps are liars.

“Everyone’s got at least one old photo on their profile, doesn’t make you a catfish,” she quips, “just means you’re a nostalgic person!”

“Right…”

The next one is a selfie. You’re smiling big in it, showing your gums, and it’s genuine. Shoko says guys like those types of photos because it shows them that you’re approachable. It also won her over because it’s fairly recent, too.

Out of all your photos, there’s only a select few that were taken within the year. You had to admit to her that you never really took photos of yourself anymore. Satoru took most of your candids. Still, she had a mission. And she wasn’t going to be satisfied until she stuck around to see your first match.

“After the selfie you should put the one of you with the girls.”

The picture she’s referring to is one Satoru also took. You remember that day fondly, and even now, the memories feel like a warm embrace.

about 8 years ago . . .

“Dad, mom, look! Hurry!” Hana, your oldest, shouts. Satoru and you are sitting on a blanket up on the sand dunes with Haruki, who’s trying her best to make a sand castle–to no avail.

“What is it, hon?” Satoru and you rush over to her, snatching toddler Haruki in the same breath. When you get to the scene, a flood of warmth washes over you upon discovering the ‘threat’.

“See, it’s baby turtles!” Hana’s squatting in the sand, watching with pure and unfettered fascination as the hatchlings crawl north to the ocean. When she looks up at you, with eyes so bright, and a smile so big that’s missing two of her front teeth, you want to cry.

“Oh, hon, that’s beautiful,” you gasp, lowering to your haunches so that you can join her. Satoru is about to follow suit before deciding at the last minute to go back to the blanket. When he returns, he snaps a picture unbeknownst to you. Eventually, though, you turn your gaze to him and he captures–what he used to think then–the ‘prettiest’ photo of you.

“You sneaking photos of me?” you squint, pointing at him. He trods closer until he’s standing above you. Then he snaps another. Your head’s tilted up, and you’ve got one eye open, and the other closed because of the sun. He always liked when you squinted like that because it made your nose do this cute little scrunch.

“Yup, ‘cause you’re my muse.”

You’re pulled out of your daydream when Shoko says your name on the other line.

“You still there?”

“Yeah, it’s just…”

“Just what?” she queries, waiting for a response.

“I wanna use it, but my ex-husband took it. It feels weird, you know? And do I want to use a photo of me with the girls?”

“Hon, who cares if Satoru took the photo? It’s still a good photo, and to answer your second question, why wouldn’t you include a picture with your girls?”

“I don’t know, I guess I’m just afraid no one will be interested. Nothing about a picture of a mom with her two daughters exactly screams ‘fuck me’.”

Shoko lets out a small chuckle but you’re being serious. “Oh, sweetie. You’re so cute. Milfs are in these days, I don’t think I’m the one getting old, I think it’s just you!”

“Ha-ha, laugh at the mom,” you feign annoyance, but give her a laugh in return.

“But seriously, please use that photo. Nobody’s going to skip you just because you’re a mom. A lot of men on there have kids of their own, just gotta tweak your settings,” Shoko reassures you.

By the end of your call, the profile is set. You thank your old friend for the previous heart-to-heart conversation, and the time she spent helping you set up your profile.

“Keep me updated, and don’t talk about mom stuff, okay? Now, I’m not saying you can’t talk about them,” she begins, “but show these guys your personality! I know she’s in the closet somewhere hiding next to our old slutty clubbing clothes.”

Then, the both of you say your goodbyes and she wishes you a good-luck on your newly established dating journey. As you lay in your bed, you give your profile a final onceover. Not too bad, you think to yourself.

You ended up using all of the photos she had originally picked out for you. Even the beach photo. To compensate for your old photos, though, Shoko made sure that your prompts were witty and full of personality.

“I’d match me, I think. No, yeah, these are funny. She did a good job.”

The following day, you open your phone to fifty notifications from the dating app. A tingle of excitement shoots through your body from the tip of your toes, to the top of your head. It takes all of your might not to squeal in the office.

“Holy fuck,” you whisper at your desk. The amount of notifications that you initially saw on your homescreen read ‘50’ but when you opened the app, it showed you an overwhelming ‘100’ with a fat plus sign next to it. “Wait, are these all the people who liked me? Shoko’s gonna flip.”

Getting up from your chair, you make a beeline to the nearest bathroom. Not that you have to use it, but so you can scroll through all the potential prospects without your boss seeing you on your phone.

Pulling open the door to the bathroom, you close it shut behind you and lock it. A few minutes pass in the time you’re able to get through about half of the people who liked you. You end up skipping a lot of them. They’re either too young, too self-absorbed, creepy, or just downright not your type.

Some stick out, though. Even trick you into thinking they’re potential matches, but then the other shoe drops–because there’s always another shoe. You’ll scroll through their profiles, and they’ll seemingly have all the perfect traits: intelligent, witty, handsome, tall–and then, boom. You see their ‘don’t want kids’ preference. Every failed match only discourages you more and more.

It’s weird, because your profile preferences are set to ‘have kids’ and you even have a photo pictured with your girls. So why are men liking your profile despite that? After a few more scrolls, you’re just about ready to head back to your desk but then–you have a hit.

Your finger hovers over the ‘x’ at the bottom of the screen, then retracts. The guy’s profile at first impression is miles better than the rest, it’s almost too good to be true. His first photo is what piqued your interest. It’s of him posing for a silly photo with his sons, and he’s got his arms draped around their shoulders.

As you scroll down his profile, you see that there’s even more of him with his children. You take this as a green flag. He wants people to know he has kids, and that he isn’t embarrassed to show them off. You admire him for it.

The last few remaining photos are an amalgamation of selfies and full-body photos. To the average, well-adjusted adult, looks wouldn’t be a deal breaker. But he definitely wasn’t too bad on the eyes, and you were not complaining about that–especially, after the odd men you had to scroll through to get here. In other words, he was gorgeous and still fit despite being older than you (him, respectively being in his early forties).

Checking the time on your phone, you realize that you’re pushing your little ‘bathroom break’. Before heading back to your desk, you decide to respond to his first photo.

You: Cute! Could never get my girls to stand so still for a photo like this now haha :)

Work goes by slower than you’d like, but finishes up just in time when you get a notification from the dating app. You’re a little more excited than you’d care to admit. Tidying up your workspace, you say your goodbyes to your colleagues and head to the elevator. Absent-mindedly, you rush to answer his message but realize it won’t go through because of the elevator’s poor service.

Kazuki: Oh, they’re moody and grown now, don’t be fooled. I can't remember the last time I saw my youngest smile.

You don’t answer his reply until you get home. Actually, you do just about everything but answer his reply: check on the girls, shower, prepare dinner, pour a glass of wine–you’re nervous, and you don’t know why. But you know you should probably answer soon before he becomes disinterested. So you get comfortable in bed with your glass of wine and pull open his chat.

You: Lol, know that all too well. Kids are little assholes, aren’t they?

The speed in which he reads your text is startling, you don’t even have enough time to close out of the chat. Then, he responds.

Kazuki: Hell yeah they are!

Kazuki: Sometimes I want to strangle my youngest. He’s at that age where he’s starting to rebel and question everything. I told him he was supposed to be the ‘easy’ one, but his knucklehead brothers are bad influences on him…Tell me, does it ever get easier?

You: Sounds a lot like my oldest. She used to cling to me like a koala but now she’s the ring leader, and I’m the enemy. My youngest still loves her mama, though (for now lol).

You: And to answer your question, I’d like to think so?

You take a second before continuing your response. Shoko told you to keep the mom talk limited, but this seems to be working for you so far, and he’s genuinely interested in what you have to say. So for once, you’re going to ignore her advice.

You: Kids go through phases. It's our job to reassure them that we’re not going anywhere. No matter how much they push us away or try to, that is :)

Kazuki’s chat bubbles pop up, then disappear. You think he’s deciding on what to say.

Kazuki: I can tell we’re gonna get along great. It’s nice opening up like this, you know? Talking to another parent. If I'm being honest, dating apps have always intimidated me…

Kazuki: People see kids as ‘baggage’, and it really bothers me. My kids aren’t baggage. They’re the best parts of me. And if someone doesn’t see that, then we have no business getting to know each other.

Kazuki: Sorry for getting all sappy. Just felt like I needed to say it.

His apology makes you frown. It feels like a breath of fresh air to hear someone talk about their kids so lovingly, because you feel the exact same way. You’re glad you downloaded the app, and you make a mental note to thank Shoko again later (after you debrief her about this).

You: Never apologize for speaking about your kids! And if we’re being absolutely transparent, that was my biggest gripe with downloading this app, too.

You: I’m so glad we matched each other. I’d like to get to know you more. And I’m hoping the feeling’s mutual?

Kazuki: It’s more than mutual.

Kazuki: Don’t want to get ahead of myself but how do you feel about dinner? There’s a cool high-scale restaurant in the city that I haven’t been to yet. Heard it’s got two Michelin stars despite opening up not too long ago.

The prospect of going on a sit-down dinner date has your stomach in knots. It’s been a hot minute since the last time you’ve done so, but you’re eager to know the man behind the screen on a more personal level. Plus, being treated to a high-scale restaurant with two Michelin stars doesn’t seem too bad either. You’re never one to turn down free dinner.

You: I’d love to, but how soon we talkin’? Gotta see if it’ll align with my schedule.

Kazuki: How’s this Friday at 8 sound? :)

The days leading up to Friday breeze by in a blur. For the majority of the week, it feels like you’re walking on cloud nine. Eventually, the conversation transitions from the dating app to exchanging phone numbers, and since then, the two of you have been texting back-and-forth everyday.

You talk about mundane things. Work, shows, movies, books you’ve recently read, what your kids are up to–but the other things? The other messages are flirty, and sexy, and filled with so much tension that it could cut a rope in half.

In between messages, the two of you have also exchanged a few photos. Nothing risqué or anything of that nature, just random photos of you throughout the day. The last one he sent was a few hours ago of him at work, captioned with: ‘Could this meeting be any longer?’.

You reply to the message with the ‘ha ha’ reaction, in consideration of not wanting to get him in trouble at work (even if he was the one who initiated the conversation). As the days go by, though, you make it a habit to update Shoko every step of the way.

Her first reaction to hearing about him was enthusiastic. That is, until you showed her screenshots from his profile. You vaguely remember her saying something that was meant as a compliment, but came out more like an insult.

“‘Oh, he’s a dad!” was her initial response, “oh, he’s a dad…and he really loves his kids. You’re meant for each other.’”

When you tried to ask her what she meant by that, she changed the subject. Every update since then has earned slightly more positive reactions, though.

Today, you ask her for more advice. Only this time, you’re on video call.

“Shokoooo,” you drawl, “our date is tomorrow! You have to help me find something to wear.” The panic in your voice is so palpable, she can almost feel your shaky hands through the screen. Flipping the camera, you hurriedly pan your phone around the closet.

“Breathe, girl, breathe,” she demonstrates first, before telling you to repeat the same motions. “Take me to that section over there–no, not that one–wait, yep, there.” You amble over to the area she’s directing you to through the phone.

“What’s that black little number right there?” She points. You prop the phone up on a shelf and scour through the section, tugging out a dress you haven’t seen in ages (which has you questioning how she even spotted it because it was pretty far back into the closet). Walking back into frame, you hold the fabric up to your body.

Shoko nods in approval, “That’s the one, babe. Try it on!”

It’d been about a decade since the last time you wore this dress. It’d also been about a decade since you were ever this small. Looking in the mirror, you run your hands over every surface inch, every crevice of the dress, in a newfound sense of appreciation for the adult weight you’ve gained since becoming a mother.

The dress was always stunning but it hugged everything perfectly even more so now. When you walk back into frame, your friend gives you a look of pure adoration. She’s so enthralled that she snaps a few screenshots for keepsaking.

“Thank god it’s Satoru’s turn to get the kids tonight,” she says, “‘cause you’re definitely getting some tonight.”

You roll your eyes, reminding her she’s on speaker phone. “Oh, please. It’s just dinner!”

“Not in that dress,” she retorts, wagging her finger in the camera. While the two of you continue to chat about the details of tonight, a knock on your bedroom door draws your attention.

“Mom, can I come in?” the voice sounds. It’s Haruki.

“Come in, hon!”

After you give the ok, you turn to Shoko and mouth to her to behave. Haruki turns the knob and enters, closing the door behind her. She sees you standing in front of the mirror before you see her, and silently utters a ‘wow’. You’re just about done putting your earrings in when you join her in the other room.

“What do you think, bun? Does your mom look hot?” you spin around, smoothing your hands down the length of the dress. You wait in anticipation for her approval, because if anyone could tell it like it is, it was always going to be a kid. Your Haruki was no exception.

“You look really pretty, Mom. I’m glad you’re going out tonight, I mean, you don’t really have friends so I think this will be good for you,” she elaborates, though you wish she would’ve stopped at the compliment.

Still, it puts a smile on your face to hear her verbalize that she’s okay with you doing something for yourself. You never quite discussed the prospect of getting back out there with your kids–and not even intentionally. It just never felt like the right time.

“You could’ve stopped at the compliment, punk!” you grab her, then wrap her in your arms, “but thank you. Love you, bun.”

“Love you more, mama.” Neither of you make the effort to pull away. Instead, you both stand there. Hugging, breathing, embracing each other’s warmth. You don’t always get hugs this good, so when you do, you savor it. Drag it out until your arms and legs get all tingly.

Or until someone interrupts. Another knock on the door. This time it’s Hana.

“Ew, what’s going on?” Hana feigns a look of disgust. You know she’s just jealous; she’ll never admit it, though. Which is why sometimes you have to force her to participate.

“Get over here,” you scrunch your nose, forcefully pulling her into your tight embrace. She tries to protest but eventually accepts defeat. You squeeze them both until they whine that they can’t breathe anymore. Then you squeeze them some more because this one’s for you.

“My special girls,” you breathe in, taking in all of their love. Soaking it all up so that tonight you have the courage to try again. To allow yourself a love of your own. When you let go, there’s a sniffle from the closet. It totally dawned on you that Shoko was still on the phone.

“They’re so big now, they don’t even know their auntie,” she fakes a sob, blowing her nose into a tissue.

“Mom, who’s on the phone?” Haruki queries with a confused expression etched onto her face. It suddenly dawns on you again that although you’ve been communicating with Shoko again, you haven’t exactly told them.

“Hey, you came in here to tell me something right, Han?” Your attempt to change the subject is poorly done, which doesn’t come as a surprise to you considering deflection has never quite been an ability you excelled at. Nonetheless, the look of suspicion they give you after is fleeting before they explain to you in unison that their father is here.

“Your father’s been waiting down there this whole time and nobody cared to tell me?” you whisper-yell, left eye twitching to emphasize your ill-preparedness. The girls only shrug their shoulders in response, like this was something you were just supposed to know.

“Well, you did force us into a hug and make us do all that Kumbaya stuff,” Hana mumbles under her breath.

“Okay, enough about all that. Are you guys all packed? Where are your bags? I don’t want your dad seeing–”

“You don’t want dad to see your date, right?” Hana raises a brow, all knowing. Sometimes she was a little too smart for her own good. You want to blame that on the private schools Satoru had them enrolled in, but really you just know she’s just a menace in her own right. She learned that from him.

“I agree with the kid,” a voice chimes in. You rush to the closet and grab your phone from the shelf. There’s a huge, shit-eating grin on Shoko’s face. Somehow she’s responsible for this. You don’t know how yet, nor do you have proof, but you know it.

“Okay, thank you, love you, bye!” Before you can hang up, Shoko blurts something.

“Tell him I said hi,” she begins, “–andnottogetahardonwhenheseesyou!”

You hang up the call and roll your eyes, chuckling to yourself because of her idiocy. When you enter the corridor, you hear a faint sound of hushed voices from downstairs. It’s only when you round the bannister at the top, when those voices become discernible and louder.

You stop at the top, and when your eyes meet his, it feels like all the air in your lungs have expelled. Suddenly, you’re hyper-aware of what you’re wearing, and the fabric, and the way it clings to your body. Neither he, nor you, look away–you should, you want to, but you don’t.

And in the time the two of you gaze upon the other, time stops for a modicum of a second. In this second, you and him are the last two souls in the world. At least, that’s how it feels anyway before he breaks eye contact.

You shift your gaze shortly after, and put on a trained smile. Those eyes of his were always so intense. You guess you forgot over the years how easy it was to lose yourself in the crystalline pools of them. Gathering your wits, you resume your movements and saunter down the imperial staircase.

“Hey, didn’t mean to keep you waiting. Sort of lost track of time, but I think the girls are all packed,” you say, your voice coming to a decrescendo upon noticing the way his eyes trail over your frame. They’re unreadable, though. Indifferent, and honestly, you’re not sure how to feel. So, you begin fidgeting uncomfortably with the rings around your finger.

Then, he smiles. It’s eerie and fake. “Not a problem, I haven’t been here too long. But, uh,” he begins ambling around the place, touching random objects around the living room, “Didn’t know you had plans. What’s the occasion? Going out for drinks with your colleagues?”

You furrow your brows, confused with his sudden interests in your plans. It wasn’t really like him to prod. “No, actually,” you rock back-and-forth on the balls of your heels, “i’m…i’m going on a date,” you finish with a pursed smile. He only nods his head in response, still walking around the place touching stuff, messing with the picture frames on the mantle. They’re all crooked now.

“How come this is the only picture you have up of me,” he asks suddenly. You know, that he knows, the answer to that. And he knows, that you know, you’ll indulge in his games anyway.

“The girls wanted them in their rooms. Why do you ask? You want me to go grab them and put ‘em all up around the house?” Again, he doesn’t say anything. Just gives you a final once over before heading back to the foyer to ask if the girls are all set to go.

“Yeah, but I can’t find my tablet, dad. Can I go look for it?” Haruki speaks up. “I thought I packed it.”

Satoru looks at the time on his watch, pinches the crease in between his brows. “Sure, kiddo. Can we make it quick, please?” He throws his hand in the air for emphasis, then points to his watch. Haruki nods, then runs up the stairs.

“Actually, you go on up too and help your sister. You guys are holding up dad,” you turn to Hana and gesture for her to head up with your head. She rolls her eyes, yelling up the stairs for her younger sister to ‘freaking hurry up’.

You and Satoru both turn to each other with wide eyes, laughing at the nerve of those children.

“They get that attitude from you, you know,” you point to him, driving your index finger into his bicep.

“You sure? Their mom’s got a pretty bad mouth on her, too. Or, have you forgotten?” He teases, bending his knees slightly to level his eyes with yours, intruding into your space. The smirk he dons is cheeky, too friendly–too inviting. You want to smack it off of him.

“Oh, shut u–” the sound of your phone chiming interrupts your banter. It’s a message from Kazuki, and you open it while Satoru stands over you. Probably close enough to read the message on his own if he wanted.

Kazuki: Hey, I hate to do this but I don’t think I can go through with tonight.

When you read the message, your heart drops into your stomach. There goes the other shoe, you think, fully embracing your pessimism. Who were you kidding, really? To think that tonight you’d go out and have a good time. Do something for yourself. It was stupidity.

Chat bubbles pop up on the screen. He has more to say.

He has more to say, and you’re fighting the urge to cry–to not shake out of sheer frustration while you’re still standing in front of Satoru. Because nothing would be worse than him seeing you can’t even land a date.

Kazuki: I recently just went through a divorce, and I know that I should have informed you about this before continuing our conversations…Especially since you’ve been so transparent with me about your own divorce and strife.

Kazuki: But if I’m being completely honest, I was scared. I genuinely wanted to see this through, at first. I wanted to forget about my ex-wife for just one night. But I realized I’ve been asking the impossible of myself…I’m still in love with her, and it’s because I’m in love with her that I won’t allow myself to lead you on any further.

Kazuki: I think we would’ve had a good time tonight. It's unfortunate we had to meet under such circumstances because you’re a really lovely woman, and I’m sorry an asshole is standing you up right now.

Kazuki: Take care. I know there’s a guy out there just waiting for his shot.

Satoru takes notice of the way your face drops as you read over the messages. Part of him wants to overstep his boundaries and take a peek at the screen. But he doesn’t. He gives you your space and takes a seat on the couch, waits for you to say something first.

In the meantime, he studies your face. Watches intently as your eyes become glossy the more you scan the messages, watches as your bottom lip catches between your teeth to hold back from crying. He thinks he knows what just happened.

Taking a deep breath, you lock your phone and put on another trained smile, “Well, looks like I’m staying in tonight.” Satoru dislikes when you do that. When you put on a fake smile and overcompensate to make others around you feel better, even when it’s so very obvious you aren’t. He wishes that sometimes you would just be selfish–act out.

And then you continue the façade. It makes his skin itch.

“I was too tired anyway, guess I can just catch up o–”

“Will you stop,” he spits, rising from his seat on the couch to stand. It comes out harsher than he intended, but he doesn’t regret it. You look at him like he’s got two heads as he walks over to the mantle and leans against it. His back is turned towards you, and the palms of his hands hold the crest of it. He uses it as leverage to rock on the heels of his feet. You can tell there’s something he wants to say because of the way his jaw ticks.

Satoru is never one to bite his tongue, so you’re not exactly sure why he’s choosing to be so restrained. If he wasn’t going to spit it out, you were going to poke. “What’s your problem?”

He chuckles at this, rubs his chin then pushes off the mantle to stand in front of you, gets all in your space again. The movement almost sends you back but you hold your ground, tilt your chin up at him and repeat the question. Slowly, this time with more venom.

“My problem? What’s your problem?” He breathes through his nose, his eyes flickering back-and-forth between your own. “Why do you always pretend like you’re not lonely? It’s okay if you were looking forward to having fun tonight. It’s okay to be upset and be mad at the asshole who stood you up!”

With every verbal prod at you, the gap between you decreases. His feet inch closer and closer to your own and force you to retreat farther until your back hits the wall. The coldness of it causes your breath to hitch, and you try to stay calm as Satoru encroaches more into your personal space. Being on the receiving end of his passion was always suffocating, you feel exposed under the intensity of his gaze–even more so as he continues to tear into you.

“Why do you even care?!” you cut him off, eyes wide and veins pumping full of adrenaline. “It’s not your place to be so invested in my life anymore! We’re not together, you don’t have to get so hot and bothered about things going shitty for me. I’m a big girl, and I’m perfectly capable of fighting my own battles.”

By the time you finish, you’re a heaving, shaking mess. He takes this as a sign to withdraw from your space, and goes to sit back down on the couch. When you finally settle your nerves, you join him, leaving a foot of space in between you. There’s an awkward silence, one that wouldn’t have even happened if he just respected your boundaries in the first place. Now he feels like the asshole instead of the actual asshole who dumped you. Taking a hesitant breath, he decides to speak up.

“Look, I’m sorry. I didn’t…It wasn’t my intention to come off so strong like that,” he begins, “I just wanted to let you know that you don’t always have to pretend to be fine. It’s not fair, you shouldn’t do that to yourself.” His eyes wander over to you reluctantly, like he’s scared that if he looks too long you’ll disengage from the conversation.

“It’s okay,” your voice is small, just above a whisper. You want to face him, but you know that if you do, you'll break into a million pieces. So you keep your gaze downward, busy yourself with the stray pieces of thread on the bottom of your dress. “You’re right, you know. I think I just…I think I just tell myself to expect disappointment so that when something bad happens, I’ll know it’s not because I got my hopes up.”

Satoru turns to you, and you can see him frown through your peripheral. Still, you don’t face him because you’re not done talking. But you thank him silently for listening without interrupting.

“Even though you’re right, I don’t appreciate the way you came on so strongly. We’re not married anymore, we’re not a couple–we’re co-parents. So if there’s something I want you to know about that’s outside of the scope of our kids, I’ll let you know. Otherwise, leave it alone.”

Satoru’s face softens. For once you’re being selfish, putting your foot down. This is the side of you he likes. “Okay. I respect that,” he says, “But can I ask you something?” The smile on his face is mirthful, like he’s got something else up his sleeves this evening. Skeptical, you finally face him with a raised brow.

“What?”

“Let me take you to dinner.”

You laugh in his face, even go as far as smacking his arm because you want him to know you found the joke really funny. He doesn’t budge, and that’s when you realize he’s being serious.

“Wait, what?”

“Let’s go to dinner,” he stands up, crossing his arms across his chest. You tilt your head in disbelief. You’re just waiting for someone to tell you you’re on that old reality show punk’d.

“Funny, I just poured my heart out to you and now you’re making fun of me,” you roll your eyes, feigning annoyance.

“I’m being serious,” he reassures, “you’re already dressed up. It’d be a shame for it to go to waste.” His eyes are twinkling with hope, and once again, you find yourself falling victim to their persuasiveness.

Being under Gojo Satoru’s gaze was suffocating.

Giving in, you ask, “So what are you gonna do? Drive all the way home to get dressed?”

The question is genuine, but the bastard just grins. “I’m a little hurt,” he throws a hand over his heart, “don’t you know me by now? I’m a businessman. I keep pressed blazers and slacks on me at all times.”

He swings his keys around his index finger, hoping that the promise of a spare change of clothes being in his car is enough to convince you to say yes.

“I don’t know…” you trail.

“C’mon, let me take you out. I promise you won’t regret it.”

Somehow he was able to persuade you into going out. After he changed into his spare clothes, you ended up telling your girls that there was gonna be a change of plans, and that they’d go home with their dad tomorrow.

Of course, before leaving, you made sure to leave some money on the table for pizza, and you also made sure to drill into their heads not to open the door for anyone except the delivery guy. You knew they knew the drill already, but it didn’t feel right to leave without saying it anyway.

“Be good, listen to your sister, she’s in charge,” you pinch Haruki’s cheek. Hana smirks, nodding her head in agreement with you.

“I will mom, I know,” she huffs, crossing her arms.

“And you,” your finger wags at Hana, her smirk drops. “Don’t provoke your sister, be nice. Act like you love each other, please.”

“Fine, whatever. I guess,” she grabs the knob to the door, ready to kick the both of you out already. “So does this mean the two of you are back together, or?”

Satoru and you turn to each other before answering in unison, “No.”

“Okay, cool. Well, have fun,” she practically closes the door on the two of you, locking it after. Satoru is just as dumbfounded as you are, but then you break into a fit of laughter.

“Those kids, man.”

“Your kids!” you correct, pushing him playfully as the both of you walk down the pebbled pathway. He finds his equilibrium in time to unlock the car and open your side of the door. You pause before ducking inside.

“Oh, how gentlemanly of you,” you jest, “And they say chivalry is dead.”

“How could it be when I’m alive?” He says matter-of-factly, closing your side of the door. He taps the top of the car before sliding across the hood to the other side. Nice to see some things never changed.

When he gets inside and turns on the car, he puts his hand on the back of your seat to back out. The proximity sends a shiver down your spine, and you have to physically refrain from letting your eyes linger on his jaw, and his arms, and the face he makes when he’s trying to concentrate.

You try to dispel these less-than-friendly thoughts by looking somewhere, anywhere else but him. But you can’t, and it’s irritating.

This is the second time tonight you’ve been this close, and it’s only this time that you realize something about him is…different. Earlier, he didn’t really smell like anything, but you quickly notice his smell has changed.

There’s a sort of piney scent coming from him. It’s not strong or obnoxious enough to blind your nostrils, but it’s enough for you to just barely pick up on it. You almost think it was premeditated, that he took the liberty of spritzing some on before walking you to the car. Before you separated, he’d made it a habit to wear variations of woody scents for you. If you can recall correctly, a passing comment you made about the cologne he was wearing that day is what sparked the habit.

Surely, this couldn’t be coincidental?

“You smell nice,” you blurt, filling in the silence.

Satoru glances at you, “Thank you.” You hate that from the corner of your eye, you can see his stupid little smirk growing bigger by the minute. He already had a big ego, it didn’t need to be stroked any more.

“Don’t let it go to your head, though. You usually smell pretty rank.”

“Ohhh, is that so? Guess I gotta start wearing this more often then, huh?”

“Sure, do what you want,” you say, trying to remain indifferent even though you’re failing terribly to hide your smile. When the car approaches a red light, you finally decide to ask the big question. “So where are you taking me?”

“You’ll see,” he glances over, “Just know I’m good friends with the owner, so last minute reservations weren't a problem.”

The rest of the car ride is silent, save for the low hum of the music playing on the radio. When you arrive at the location, Satoru makes sure to walk all the way around to your side of the door again and open it. Immediately after, the two of you are greeted by a young male. He’s wearing a white button down, black slacks, and a black vest with a red tie. Judging by his appearance, you assume he’s a valet driver.

Satoru drops his keys in the driver’s hands, and escorts you towards the entrance. The boy bows and goes to park the car. Looking around, you start to wonder where exactly this place is supposed to be. The area is dark and secluded, and from where you stand outside, it doesn’t sound like there’s supposed to be a restaurant here. You don’t hear any voices, you don’t even see any security or other passerbyers.

Still, you follow behind him like a duckling, only coming to a halt when he leads you to a door taller than the both of you. He gestures for you to back up, then raises his knuckles to blow a strong, single knock. You’re taken by surprise when a set of angry eyes appear behind a slot in the door.

The pair of eyes first scan over you, then Satoru. A gruff voice is second to accompany them, “Where can I get a good drink?”

“I heard the bar down the street is nice,” Satoru answers. The hatch to the door closes, then swings open the door, and the man behind it moves aside to welcome you in.

“Follow me, please.” Once he closes the door, he begins guiding you down the dimly lit hallway. After making what seems like your hundredth turn, you eventually reach a staircase. The man gestures for you to go on ahead, and you think this is him implying where the three of you will depart.

“Thank you,” you say softly, disappearing down the stairs. Satoru isn’t too far behind, keeping a pace between you. As you near the end of the long, narrow hallway, a stream of white light brightens up your whole path. It leads you down to another door like a beacon of light, and when you reach it, you can hear voices, live music, and dishes clanking on the other side. It’s bustling with life. A huge, joyous smile plasters across your face. It’s almost child-like in appearance, like you haven’t seen something this cool in a long time.

Satoru stands beside you and winks. “What d’ya think? Any idea yet where we are?”

“I think this is fucking cool, and hm,” you take a second to mull it over, “are we at a speakeasy?”

“Smart girl. Now come on.” Stepping back, you allow him to pull open the door, and when he does, there isn’t a word to describe the atmosphere of the place you step into. All you can do is stand there in astonishment. Before long, a man walks up to you.

“Welcome, what is the name you reserved under?”

“Gojo.”

Nodding, the host instructs you to follow after him. He leads you to a private seating area, somewhere far in the back that’s secluded from the other patrons. The space is much bigger, and much more extravagant. You know you’re only sitting way back here because Satoru is who he is. And in all the years you’ve known him, his connections were just another party trick in his arsenal.

The hostess seats you, then Satoru, and tells you that a waiter will be with you shortly.

“This is nice, really nice, but is it–”

“Legal?” he finishes your sentence, “don’t worry. It’s a modern speakeasy-style restaurant. There’s nothing illegal going on here, promise.”

While you wait for your designated waiter, your focus shifts from the man in front of you to the man singing on the stage. Up until now, his voice was white noise in the background, but then he started singing a tune scarily reminiscent of your past–and your breath catches in your throat.

If I ever leave you, baby

You can say I told you so

And if I ever hurt you

You know, I hurt myself…

Turning your gaze back to Satoru, you squint your eyes mirthfully in disbelief. You wonder if this is just a funny coincidence, if this is the universe playing her tricks, but you know deep down, that coincidences and Gojo Satoru don’t belong in the same sentence.

You open your mouth to speak, but quickly close it when you see the waiter approaching from the corner of your eye. He greets the both of you with a polite smile, then sets down two glasses of water.

“Good evening, I’ll be your waiter for the night,” he says, placing a menu in front of you, “Can I get you fine folks started off with a bottle of wine?”

Satoru nods, tells him to bring the best bottle of red they have and then gestures for him to come closer so that he can whisper something in his ear. All the while, you sit back in your seat observing, clicking your nails on the table until the server pulls back and bows.

When he departs, you immediately lean in over the table, and ask, “Just how much time did you have to plan all of this?”

Satoru feigns aloofness, taking a sip of his water, “What do you mean?”

You roll your eyes, gesturing at the stage with your eyes. Then, as if suddenly coming to a realization, he goes, “Oh, that? Yeah, I had nothing to do with that. But isn’t it funny they’re playing our old song?”

Now he’s smirking, with his elbow leaning back on the chair, and a gaze so piercing, you’re certain you’ll crumble into nothing unless you look away. So you do, avert your gaze back to the stage and sway calmly.

Is that any way for a man to carry on

Do you think I want my loved one gone

Said I love you

More than you’ll ever know

“So funny,” you counter.

Eventually, the server comes back with a bottle. “1982 Chateau Latife Rothschild,” he holds it out to present, “Is this alright?”

Despite the years spent with Satoru, and the many elitist events you often attended with him, your knowledge on wine had never surpassed anything but surface level. You knew the difference between good wine and cheap wine was the taste, but your taste buds had grown accustomed to store-bought, so if anything, store-bought tasted like heaven to you. Anyway, though, you nod your head and urge him to pour a glass.

“Thank you,” you smile, before gently swirling the glass and bringing it up to your nose to smell (something you only know to do after being the odd man out at so many company banquets). Satoru waits for you to sip your glass before he sips his. The way you melt into your seat is a silent assurance that you’re pleased.

“This is great, you’re amazing,” you tell the server, who seems pleased by your compliment.

“Glad to be of service, miss. Are you ready to order?”

Dinner goes by smoothly. In fact, it goes by so smoothly, you and Satoru finish the entire bottle of wine. Now you sit at the table, bellies full, faces flushed and sore from laughing, and now you find yourself telling him about the grocery store incident. If you had half a mind (a sober one), you’d shut up right this second to save yourself from the embarrassment. But you don’t. And Satoru’s very persuasive when you’re tipsy.

“Keep going,” he leans in, hand nestled under his chin. He’s completely invested in the story. Actually, as soon as he heard the words ‘store’ and ‘cute guy’, he just had to know more. And you begging him to change the subject didn’t help, not when the sadist in him loved to see you so embarrassed.

“Fine,” you hiccup, “It was so - so bad, Toru.” He doesn’t miss the way you slip and call him by the nickname you’d always reserved for him. It makes his heart race, and god, does he miss the way it sounds spilling from your lips. But he ignores the feeling, and refocuses on your story instead. Which, by the way, was proving to be a task in itself because his eyes couldn’t stop drifting back down to your lips. So soft, so–

“And then she said ‘we don’t believe in rings,’” you whisper, fist coming down on the table. The sound it makes nearly sobers you up, and you realize just how loud you’re being despite your table being secluded from others. Giggling like a kid, you continue, “I mean, how fucking insane is that?!”

“Something as bizarre as that could only ever happen to you,” he replies, laughing along with you, “those people were crazy.”

“The craziest,” you agree, throwing your head back in another fit of laughter. Gradually, the two of you begin to settle down, and once again, you find your attention being drawn back to the man on the stage. Only this time, he’s making an announcement.

“Good evening ladies and gentleman. Tonight I’ve got a special request,” he says, looking out into the audience. Looking at you. “This one’s for a very special lady who, from what I’ve been told, is a great mother that needs to start doing things for herself.”

The singer steps out of the spotlight and hands the note to a server. Your server. Then he begins to sing, and your heart drops into the pit of your stomach. It was your wedding song.

[...] I don’t even know how to love you

Just the way you want me to

But I’m ready (ready) to learn (to learn)

Yes, I’m ready (ready) to learn (to learn)

“Now this one? This one was me,” Satoru leans forward, and you swiftly turn your head to face him. He smiles as he watches your face go through ten different emotions before ultimately softening. It warms your heart to see how incredibly planned this evening was, despite the amount of time he was given to work with. Even so, it kind of scares you–because then that meant this was a grand gesture–that this was his way of saying something. And you weren’t too sure if you wanted to hear it. Your gaze drops to your lap, and Satoru frowns.

To fall in love

To fall in love with you…

“Look at me,” he says softly, but you don’t. “Hey, look at me.” He reaches over the table to take your chin in between his fingers. The touch alone feels electric. Sends liquid hot lightning down the column of your spine. Reluctantly, you meet his gaze, and like always, it’s suffocating. They’re so wide with hope, and so, so gentle in the way they hold you. The longer you gaze upon them, the more you convince yourself it’ll be okay if you surrender to them.

“It’s been years since we’ve divorced,” his voice is shaky, almost strained, like he’s actively thinking how to choose his words carefully, “and when we sat down that night, I thought it was what I wanted, too, you know? And for a while, it was,” he reaches a hand across the table to rest atop your own, “but you gotta know…you gotta know–you’re it for me. There’s no one else on this Earth that I want to start over with. You’ve always been the beginning and end of my story, and I’ll be damned if I let another man start one with you.”

Your heart is beating faster than you can even process what he’s saying. The only thing you’re focused on is not passing out in the middle of this damn restaurant. But then he’s squeezing your hand, and your focus is drawn back to those piercing, pale blues that even put crystals to shame.

“So what do you say?” he says, so softly, so tender. “Can we try again?”

Waiting for your reply, he squeezes your hand again. It’s like your soul is wandering the line between death and the living, and his touch is the tether that brings you back. In the background, the tune of the song sung at your wedding gives you a push of courage.

I don’t even know how to kiss your lips (kiss your lips)

At a moment like this

But I’m going to learn how to do

All the things you want me to

Yes, I’m ready

(Are you ready?) Yes, I’m ready

To fall in love

To fall in love right now

“Yes.”

The walk back to the car is hurried. Aided by both, years and years of built up tension, and the liquid courage currently bubbling in your systems.

The race back to his apartment is even faster. You thank the gods silently that it’s within close proximity to where you just were.

Once you get there, make your way past the doorman and concierge (who both give the two of you a knowing look), go up the elevator, and finally get into his loft–it’s over. Years of restraint, years of pretending, wanting–yearning, come crashing down.

There’s barely any time to close the door before he’s pushing you against it. His lips trail down the column of your neck, then come up to kiss your jaw, until eventually, they find your lips. And when they do, it’s instantaneous–that familiar feeling, the feeling that feels almost like falling.

Once again, for what felt like centuries, you feel again the rush of helplessness. The push and pull of the tide. It brings you down, down, down to the bottom of the ocean floor, and it’s unmerciful.

Kissing Satoru is like being shocked with ten thousand volts of energy. Like all this time you’ve spent not kissing him, has been costing you your life, and he’s the only one who can deliver you salvation. It’s all teeth and tongue for a minute. Messy, and sticky, and nasty. A true testament to the desperation brewing in the pits of both your stomachs.

The sensation of it all has your knees going slack, and that’s when he says–

“Jump.”

Obeying, you do just that. Jump right into his arms, and wrap your legs around his torso like you’ve done so many times before. The way you feel now is the way you used to feel before then, too. Like you were made to fit like this. To be held in his arms like you were molded from the same clay.

Carefully, he adjusts his grip on your body. Keeps his palms planted on the bottoms of your ass, and begins the trek to his room. He struggles a bit getting there because you haven’t stopped kissing since entering the apartment, but he figures it out after a stumble or two (which resulted in a bitten lip and you apologizing profusely through giggles).

“The turbulence up here is crazy, don’t blame me, blame the pilot,” you jest, kissing down his neck to make up for it.

“I’ll make sure to let him know,” he jokes back. As soon as he gets to the bed, he sets you down at the edge of the bed. You try to bring him down to your height but he stops you, wags his finger in your face playfully before using it to push you back into the bed. His fingers start to play with the fabric of your dress, and then his face takes on an indifferent expression. The same one from earlier that night when he first saw you walking down the stairs.

“Can’t believe you were gonna wear this for him…” he trails, lifting the fabric up slowly, eyeing you while doing so, “as if this dress doesn’t mean something.”

Of course, when Shoko chose it, its significance did make you falter–but in your defense, not once did you ever anticipate for him to see you in it. And you especially didn’t expect for him to remember it, the last time you wore it was almost a decade ago.

“I didn’t…” you start, a smile creeping on your lips, “think you remembered?”

“‘Course I did, how could I not?” He says more sharply than intended, taking offense. He takes offense because he spent the better half of the night showing you he remembered. The little things and everything else in between. Couldn’t you see that?

“It was our 4th anniversary. Bought you this dress and fucked you in it that same night. Funny how the second time I’m seeing you in this dress, the circumstances are the same except only this time we’re divorced,” he says, crawling over your body. “Guess I gotta show you just how much I remember.”

With that, he slips a hand under your dress, pulls your panties to the side and runs a finger down your slit. Oh-so-willingly, do you spread your legs for him. It’s almost subconscious, the way your body responds to him. And he revels in it. Lets his fingers work you, feel you, bring you to ecstasy. Then he heightens your pleasure tenfold when he kisses his way down your body, and takes a seat before you on his knees.

Unceremoniously, he pulls your body to the edge of the bed. Takes his time slipping your panties down the length of your legs, then kisses the insides of your thighs, before finally stopping at your mound.

Slowly, he lowers himself to your cunt, kisses your clit softly. Once, twice, three times. The pace in which he’s moving is killing you, to say the least. But you know he’s savoring the moment, making up for all the years he spent not kneeling like this between your legs. So you let him; let him caress you all over before he comes seeking the honey-sweet salvation dripping from your core.

The second his tongue makes contact with your heat, you find yourself clamping a heavy hand over your mouth. “Fuck, Toruuuu,” you drawl, back arching off the bed. Pleased with his abilities, he smiles smugly, using this as an opportunity to push himself even deeper. Up and down, he licks at your slit, uses his fingers in tandem with his tongue to prod at that spongy spot he knows you love.

“Tastes,” a harsh suck, “so good,” another, “better than I remember.”

You know he’s talking, but his words fall on deaf ears. You’re so caught up in your own high, you don’t even take notice of the obscene sloshing sounds coming from your pussy, or the moans you’re making. All you can do is lay there and take it as he takes, and takes, and takes from you.

Soon, you find your orgasm cutting through you like a knife, and you come with a strangled cry that has you biting back tears. Satoru talks you through the whole thing. He lays his head down on your thigh and continues working you with his fingers until you start to shake from the overstimulation.

For a few, you lay and stare at the ceiling. You think you can see the Milky Way–and all the constellations that make it up. It feels like your soul is floating beyond your physical body, and you don’t come back down to Earth until a sharp, stinging sensation brings you back. Did he just?

“Did you just bite me?” you lift your head, peering down to see the evidence. In all its glory, there it was; a red ring smack-dab in the inside of your thigh with teeth imprints. Looking at Satoru, he grins.

“Had to get you back from earlier,” he says, sitting back on his knees. You attempt to kick him with your foot, but he grabs hold of it. Pretending to be wounded, he gasps, “Is this how you treat the man who just gave you a soul-shattering orgasm?”

You roll your eyes, but to your dismay, it only encourages him to continue.

“Fuck, Toru,” he mimics, “oh my god, Toru. You fuck me so goo–”

“Alright, enough!” you manage to kick him this time, laughing as you bring up your hands to cover your face. “Keep carrying on like that and I won’t let you fuck me…” You’re serious in your bite, but he’s smirking. Like he knows you’re full of bullshit.

“Yeah right. You and I both know I make you feel too good.”

Feeling bested, you scoff, though, there’s no real weight behind it. While he begins to remove his shirt, you sit up and replace his hands. He relinquishes control and allows you to unbutton it until the item falls haphazardly to the floor.

He’s so beautiful, you think. Still so chiseled, so perfect after all these years since you’ve last seen him like this. At his most vulnerable. The only difference now is that there are more freckles littered across his skin. Back then, he’d say they were signs of aging, and he’d hate them.

But he’s older now. More mature. So much so that he even winks at you when you trace your fingertips over them.

“They suit you,” you whisper.

“Yeah?”

You nod your head, “mhm.”

Continuing your ministrations, you begin removing his belt. He holds your gaze the entire time it takes for you to unzip his pants and pull them down–and he doesn’t once shy away when you discover the wet spot on the front of his briefs. Slowly, delicately, you remove the soiled item and let it fall down to the floor with the rest of his clothes.

Still looking at him, you take hold of his length and fist him once, twice, experimentally. A dribble of pre oozes from his slit and you bring it to your mouth. All the air in his lungs expel into the air when you lick it off with your tongue, and god, he thinks he could come from that alone.

God, he’s missed you. Missed your touch, your lips–the way you hold him with your eyes like he’s something worth being gentle with. Nothing could ever compare to you, not even his own hand.

As soon as you’re about to take him in your mouth, he stops you. Pushes you back down onto the bed and slots himself between your legs. “No more playing, I’m tired of playing,” he breathes, lowering himself down until half of his weight is on top of you.

Guiding his cock to your entrance, he pushes past your folds with little resistance. The feeling of your cunt squeezing him in has his arms wobbling like jelly, but he musters enough strength somehow to stay up. You, on the other hand, are close to tears.

The more he eases himself in, the more you feel like you’re being stretched open (despite him previously prepping you). If you were being truthful, this wasn’t a complete shock to you. You’ve known that he’s always been big, but something about tonight feels different. Or maybe it’s just been too long since you’ve had something more than just your own fingers.

Even so, you try your best to ignore the burn of the stretch. You throw your arms around his neck and invite him deeper into you, hooking your legs around him so tightly that it renders his limbs useless. For a minute, all you can feel is the weight of him inside of you, and his chest against yours as they rise and fall asynchronously.

“Toru,” your voice is just barely above a whisper, but enough to make the hairs on the nape of his neck stand. “Make love to me.”

Heeding your request, he begins moving. Painfully slow, he unsheathes himself from you until only the head of his cock is inside, then pushes himself all the way back in with force. Again, and again, he repeats this motion. Pulls out, pushes in. Pulls out, pushes in, until he decides to increase his pace and set a steady rhythm.

Every thrust into you is meticulously calculated. Sharp, and forceful, and not once does he disrupt the rhythm. He listens carefully to the sounds you make. Even listens to the way your breath hitches when he hits a spot right. Everything he’s doing is perfect–and it’s to no surprise. Deep down, you know that Satoru knows your body like the back of his hand. He’d know it if you were all old and wrinkly. He’d know it if his soul reincarnated. Hell, he’d know it blind.

“Missed this,” he grunts, burying his head into the interstice of your neck, “missed you,” a kiss to your neck, “missed us.”

The veracity of his words render you speechless. He’s already professed his feelings for you tonight, but it feels even more real now that you’re beneath him. To be loved by Gojo Satoru was a feeling many couldn’t say they had the consolation of knowing. Only a few in his circle could hold that position–but only one person in this world could truly ever know his love to its fullest extent. You.

Satoru continues his mindless rambling, “I love you,” a thrust, “it’s always been you,” another, “was always going to be you.” Leaning back on his heels, he pushes your dress all the way up to reveal your breasts. Now it’s him who sits back and admires this time. As if he were reacquainting himself, he traces the planes and pastures of your chest with an eager hand. He runs it up and over each mound, squeezing and kneading the flesh experimentally.

Then, he dips down and kisses the space between them. Sucks and licks until the skin bruises, and he has evidence to prove tonight actually happened. Eventually, he withdraws from your chest and returns his focus on easing his cock in and out of your cunt.

“So beautiful,” he says, but it’s more to himself than anything. You’re so lost in your own pleasure, he doesn’t even think you can hear him. “Want you to cum on my cock, know you can do it, baby. Know you can,” he grunts, taking your hand and intertwining it with his own. Letting his head fall into your neck, he begins to quicken his pace. Fucks into you with everything he’s got and willing to give.

“Toru,” you finally manage to say, “‘m so close, keep going. Do it - do it inside.”

Do it inside. Do it inside. Do it inside. The thought is tempting, too tempting. It makes his dick twitch inside of you, and he swears if you say it again, he’ll actually do it. But he knows better than to listen to anything you say out of delirium.

“Trust me, sweet girl,” he cradles your face, to which you lean into, “I want to - I want to so fucking badly. But we both know you’d regret it later.”

Whining, your lips form into a pout, and the sight is so cute, he can’t help but to kiss it off of you. Compared to your kiss earlier, this one is much sweeter. Slower. More relaxed. He kisses you with the intent of making you dizzier than you already are, and it’s scary. Even so, you don’t pull away. You allow him to drink you up. Like your lips are the only source of water around, and he’s been quenched for days.

Finally, with a few more thrusts, you reach your climax. The pressure building in the pit of your belly pops like a balloon, and everything goes white. “Toru!” you shriek, arching off the bed and trembling in his grasp.

Using your arch as leverage, he keeps his hands underneath your back and continues to ram into you without abandon. You’re a babbling, wet mess at this point, and your cunt squeezing around him only encourages him more.

“Fuckfuckfuck, ‘m gonna - ‘m gonna,” he curses, balls beginning to tighten. Quickly, he unsheathes himself and fists himself the rest of the way. With an impassioned moan, he climaxes–spurting thick, white, ropes of seed all over your abdomen. Then, falls onto your limp body with a grunt, chest heaving rapidly, and slick with perspiration.

By this time, you’ve settled down enough to form a proper sentence. “That was…”

Satoru huffs, catching his breath. “Yeah.”

Still spent, he continues to lay atop you. And you, having nowhere else to go, let him. The two of you lay comfortably in silence like this for a long time. Just you tracing shapes into his back, and him purring into your neck. Both of you know you should be getting up, but neither of you make an effort to do so. In this moment, time is transcendent. There is no rush to move when time stands still for you.

Soon, that silence is broken.

“I love you,” you say, and there’s no elaboration. Not even a recant. In fact, you say it so nonchalantly, he’s not even sure it was real. You say it like you’ve never been more certain in your life, like it’s the easiest thing you’ve ever had to do.

“Really?” he queries, almost pathetically like the mere idea of you loving him is something unattainable. You look at him like he’s got two heads.

“Yeah, you’re my best friend. I’ve always loved you,” you admit, pausing your ministrations on his back, “I just had to relearn how to love you.” He smiles at this, hums into your neck to keep from crying.

“I’m glad we found our way back to each other,” he mumbles into your neck, “so where do we go from here?”

“From here we take it slow. We’ll learn together what it means to be individuals, and then from there we’ll see where it goes,” you say matter-of-factly, “no more repeating past mistakes.”

“Agreed,” he nods, “what will we tell the girls?”

That’s when your eyes widen and you sit up, forcefully pushing Satoru off of you.

“What did I say, what’s wrong?” he queries, sitting up on the bed. He watches you rummage around the room maniacally, head on a swivel as you run out of the room and return with a purse. You pull your phone out to see a slew of missed calls and messages.

“We forgot to call the girls!” You yell, showing him your phone screen of missed calls. Gojo jumps up to join you, one leg already sliding into his pants.

“Shit!”

Noticing the state of your appearance, you pinch the skin between your brows. “Satoru, I can’t wear this! You got cum all over it,” you groan, pointing to all the splotches of white. He tells you to wait a second before disappearing into his closet, then he comes back with a fist of clothes and throws it at you.

“I can’t wear this either, they’ll wonder why I’m wearing your clothes!”

Satoru runs to you and pull the dress off of your body, “We’ll wash it!” he screams, disappearing again out of the room, and to where you imagine, the laundry room. When he returns, he’s out of breath and panting. It’s only then do you realize how insane he looks with half his shirt buttoned, and his pants twisted around his hips. A giggle escapes your lips.

“What are you laughing at? Chop chop,” he claps, ushering you into his bathroom.

Yeah, you’d be lying if you said you didn’t miss this idiot.

comments + reblogs very appreciated !!!

#art by: @yamada_souko (twt)#gojo satoru x reader #gojo satoru x reader smut #satoru gojo x reader #satoru gojo x reader smut #gojo satoru smut #satoru gojo smut #gojo satoru x you #satoru gojo x you #gojo satoru x y/n #satoru gojo x y/n #jjk smut

7K notes · View notes