#a cinematic masterpiece will stay in mind for w while

[anxiouspark]

the things you do for love ~

Queen of Tears (2024), dir. Jang Young-Woo, Kim Hee-Won

[the-vinyl-review]

Jeff Wayne’s Musical version of ‘The War of the Worlds’ 1978.

HG Wells 1898 masterpiece has had a hard time being recreated over the years. Nothing on screen has stayed faithful to the book. For three years I eagerly awaited the BBC’s version, which looked extremely promising but was unfortunately a massive disappointment. The US cinematic versions got nowhere near the book and I don’t think they even tried. Nothing could stick to the original formula, however in 1978 a musical version gave us the closest I think we will ever get.

Composer Jeff Wayne’s concept was simple on paper but the process took years, singer-song writer David Essex was instrumental in the process of making the album. Wayne’s main character would be the journalist and he only had one man in mind, the late, great Richard Burton. Wayne had sent Burton a letter addressed to a theatre in New York where he was doing Equus and Burton’s mangers reply was “count him in old boy”. With two huge stars already onboard the others came quickly, Wayne recorded the score with the main band, while the guest artists David Essex, Phil Lynott, Julie Covington, Justin Hayward did their parts when available.

In 2014 Jeff Wayne’s had this to say “I envisaged my version of War of the Worlds as an opera: story, leitmotifs, musical phrases, sounds and compositions that relate to the whole” and it’s a perfect appraisal. Richard Burton opens the album with the classic opening words from the book in ‘The Eve of War’, then momentous music which is key throughout the album hits. You get the feeling you are listening to something quite special and important, it’s oddly cinematic. At this point I thought I’d share that this album terrorised me and gave me nightmares when I was a child, especially ‘Horsell Common and the Heat Ray’ the Bass is consistent throughout and is completely creepy. Accompanied with the Bass is an instrument called a Persian Tar, which is similar to a guitar & it sounds maniacal and with Burtons words add to the terror. When we were little my dad would deliberately play this to make us go to bed and he had a mean system even then, hearing that Bass made me run for my covers.

As the story progresses the Journalist makes his way through London as it’s population is in a state of panic, the main aim is to make it to the sea and a boat out of England, ‘Forever Autumn’ captures this. This is where we hear the terrifying and memory lasting Martian cry ‘Ulla’. Justin Hayward from the band the Moody Blues vocals are impressive, mixed with Burtons narration and a subtler musical piece adds warmth to a for the most part relentless album. ‘The Red Weed’ part 1 and 2 are favourites of mine, wonderful pieces that are haunting and are supposed to give the feel of being on another planet, Mars. Mars vegetation had taken hold on earth and that’s the feeling you get.

I’m going to speed things along a little now, with an album that’s just a shade under 95 minutes I need to. In between the ‘Red Weed’ parts 1 and 2 there’s ‘Parson Nathaniel’ and ‘the Spirit of Man’ Phil Lynott from Thin Lizzy and Jenny Covington as a married couple, with the Parson who’s losing faith in his religion and mankind. The Ulla’s get longer, more strained and a faster paced song ensues. ‘Brave new world’ sees the return of David Essex as the Artilleryman in which is the weakest song on the album but that in no way means it’s bad, it’s just over long at 12 minutes. ‘Dead London’ is a great conclusion to the album that builds to a frantic & satisfying conclusion, it’s eerie and unnerving and takes great turns musically with Burton’s explanation for the demise of the Martians.

The artwork for the gatefold and booklet are second to none the main painting being done by Peter Goodfellow. For me these are the best concepts of the fighting machines and should have been used or followed closely for cinematic use. Sit there turn it up, no interruptions and it’s better than being in the cinema. I like think Jeff Wayne created something that H G Wells would have appreciated. This has atmosphere, warmth, heart and is more terrifying than anything the big or small screen has produced.

Album Art 10/10

Music 9/10

Record quality 9/10

[letters-from-the-three-houses]

If you don’t mind, can I have Disney headcanons for the blue lions? What movies they like, how much they like it, stuff like that. I’ve been,, all over the place with the Ashe Aladdin AU (I made this an ask w/ bae-leth) So I feel very Disney. Maybe the other houses too?

disney!! here are the aladdin!au asks in question for the curious: [1] [2]

i did all the houses because why not, and i included affiliated companies (e.g. pixar) so it gave me more freedom (i added a 'true' disney film for everyone just in case though). there are also non-disney films that i included for some of the characters bc they seemed like the type to like them c:

hope you like it!

black eagles:

edelgard - she’s the type that watches it only when she has free time. she doesn’t exactly have a favourite, but she thinks all of the toy story movies are great (pure disney: the great mouse detective, for its mystery and sherlock holmes-like main character; the climax scene keeps her on the edge of her seat)

hubert - (watership down, wallace and gromit, any tim burton film) he likes more serious, psychological thriller movies so disney doesn’t really suit his tastes. if he had to choose, james and the giant peach (pure disney: hunchback of notre dame)

dorothea - she’s loves all of the musicals, and the ones with great songs. so films like the princess movies, enchanted, tarzan, etc. are right up her alley! she lives and breathes high school musical. her favourite disney song of all time is cinderella’s 'a dream is a wish your heart makes', and she tells everyone to give sequels a chance

ferdinand - he won’t admit it, but he likes the aristocats because of the soundtrack. doesn’t watch/care for disney though

bernadetta - the chronicles of narnia was her entire childhood. whenever she rewatches it, she eyes the fantasy cg with pure fascination and daydreams about being in narnia (pure disney: live action alice and wonderland for the same reason)

caspar - (sharkboy and lavagirl, home alone) hercules! when he saw it as a kid, he idolized hercules so much he wanted to grow up like him. you can still catch him whistling 'zero to hero' every now and then. cars is also a fun ride, as is sky high

petra - she thinks mulan is awesome. she admires quasimodo (hunchback of notre dame) for triumphing despite all the difficulties he encounters as well, and talks about it to hubert sometimes

linhardt - (space jam) holes. the movie is juuust weird enough for him to stay awake and not doze off, but even then he’s kind of meh. either version of fantasia is way too weird though—he’ll ditch it before you can even say 'mickey' (pure disney: honey, i shrunk the kids)

blue lions:

dimitri - (the polar express) lion king because he’s basic there’s something admirable about simba’s journey to become a king. also because lions. he unironically enjoyed frozen and likes a lot of classic christmas films

dedue - (prince of egypt) all of disney’s nature documentaries; he thinks the penguins are cute. monsters, inc. makes him happy because he imagines himself as sully, felix as mike, and dimitri as boo

felix - pirates of the caribbean. he can try to hide the fact that he once cosplayed as jack sparrow when he was fourteen, but his friends will never live it down. in a similar vein, ghost in the shell 2 and zorro bc he’s an edgy weeb

mercedes - (sound of music) mary poppins. she likes the dynamic between mary and the children, and 'spoonful of sugar' is her go-to song while she does chores. bridge to terabithia also has a special place in her heart. she doesn’t actively go out and watch movies though

ashe - (an american tail, balto, land before time) he a) loves animals and b) loves the ones centred around families, so he likes brother bear, finding nemo, lilo and stitch, etc. his favourites are bambi and coco bc bambi kind of reminds him of himself and miguel’s family is his ideal family. also, both of the goofy movies. without fail, he will always tear up once the credits roll for the fox and the hound

annette - (all of the barbie movies) a hardcore disney fan. her favourite princess is rapunzel (tangled)—bc exploring the world? curious about everything? perky and sweet? she really connects with her! would sing 'i see the light' in the shower. loves one hundred and one dalmations, lady and the tramp, and a lot of the cute romantic ones. goes on a disney marathon with mercie and ingrid every summer

sylvain - he once saw the incredibles on the big screen and thought it was great. would also enjoy the sorcerer’s apprentice if he bothered to watch it (pure disney: ratatouille)

ingrid - (charlotte’s web) only watches disney with annette. fond of up and all of the winnie the pooh films for their heartwarming stories

golden deer:

claude - the emperor’s new groove. the constant thrills and kuzco’s sass keep him engaged throughout the whole film. he also likes zootopia for its intrigue and well-timed jokes, and he managed to correctly guess who the mastermind was way before the movie ended. also loves robin hood and national treasure. he’s probably a huge movie junkie so he likes a lot more films outside of disney!

lorenz - (who framed roger rabbit) he doesn’t really enjoy any of the movies. if you twist his arm, he’ll maybe say pocahontas (bc he secretly likes 'colours of the wind')

hilda - if you ever complain about the princess diaries, she’ll kick you out of the dorm and never let you back in until you apologize. she’s more of a fan of the live action films, especially if they star lindsay lohan

raphael - (cloudy with a chance of meatballs, kung fu panda, all of the lego movies, despicable me, ice age, madagascar) chicken little. it’s just a coincidence that a lot of the movies he likes coincidentally involve food, he swears. he likes chicken little because it’s fun and aliens. a big, big fan of happy-go-lucky, light animated films—disney or not

lysithea - (jimmy neutron) wreck-it-ralph for its zany story. she’s the one that thinks the 1940 version of fantasia is a cinematic masterpiece

ignatz - cult classics like the sword in the stone, the black cauldron, treasure island, and atlantis bc my boy has good taste he likes the adventure and world building. milo is his spirit animal

marianne - (anastasia) wall-e. she can relate to it really well, and her heart warms once wall-e finds a friend in eve. like dorothea, she also enjoys enchanted and a lot of the disney sequels (lion king 2 and cinderella iii, to name a few)

leonie - (how to train your dragon) brave + the rescuers. probably rolls her eyes whenever there’s a romance scene on the screen. just in it for the action and adventure

[asks are open!]

[realityhelixcreates]

Lasabrjotr Chapter 9: The Nine Realms: 101

Chapters: 9/? Fandom: Thor (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe Rating: Teen And Up Warnings: Mention of implied non-con, mention of implied past abuse, Mentions of colonialism Relationships: Loki x Reader (But not yet) Characters: Loki (Marvel), Thor (Marvel), OFC, Heimdall(Marvel), Brunnhilde/Valkyrie(Marvel) Additional Tags: Post-Endgame: Best Possible Ending, Reader was Once Part of a Board of Paranoid Conspriacy Theorists and has Never Denied Being One of Them, Reader Gets Things Twisted, Loki shows off, Loki is Jealous and Doesn’t Know Why, Time For a History Lesson, My Headcanons; Let Me Show You Them, Writer Loves Worldbuilding, Ode to the Worst World Mythology Book I’ve Ever Read Summary: Reader gets some disturbing ideas from a poorly written world mythology book, and also a joint history/astronomy lesson

Andsvarr would not let you leave the rooms that day, and he did not know when Loki would be back. You understood that the man was a prince and had a great deal of responsibility, but you didn’t know what to do with yourself while you waited.

Saldis had been by, to deliver a disappointingly small stack of English language books.

“They were with the donations.” She explained. “So there’s likely to be more at some time. Until then, this is all we’ve got.”

Four books, that was all. One on world mythology, another on Icelandic history. One astronomy textbook, and the last, a volume of the works of Shakespeare, containing his tragedies.

Well, if all you could do was wait, then it couldn’t hurt to learn a thing or two.

The ‘world mythology’ book was much more of a ‘Greek mythology with a few short entries from everywhere else’ book, but the small Norse section nevertheless contained some rather shocking concepts. You did not recognize the Loki portrayed here, nor the Thor. There were many other names listed, none of whom you had met. Where were the rest of them? Had they all died in the tragedy that brought all of Asgard here to Earth? Or were they just out doing their jobs, like Heimdall, and you simply hadn’t crossed paths yet?

Once you’d read through the tiny section, wondering where the heck this Odin fellow was, you had to turn back to the much larger Greek and Roman section. They probably weren’t the same gods with different names, as you had once surmised, but they were contemporary with the Norse figures, and might help you understand godhood and your relation to it a bit better.

A few hours of reading passed, and the results were not comforting. Either the author had a major bias, or the gods were just kind of terrible. Every story seemed littered with assault and murder, suffering, revenge, and sexual misconduct-to put it delicately! Why could the gods turn humans into other things, but not turn them back? Why was every story so sad? Why so many non-consensual relations? Was that just the nature of dealings between man and god? If so, did the royal brothers simply see everything that had already happened to you-and everything that might happen to you in the future-as completely acceptable and normal? Where were the lines drawn?

Back on the fens, Iron Man had accused Loki of kidnapping you across the sea like it was still the Viking age. Loki hadn’t refuted the claim; he hadn’t even reacted to it. The last time an Asgardian had set foot on this planet, that had been seen as a completely normal thing to do. A legitimate way to get oneself a wife. Or at least, a female slave that they could do whatever they wanted with.

Loki’s time on Earth had been very short. What if he wasn’t up to date yet? What if that was how he saw you? What if he came to expect certain things from you? What might he do if you didn’t provide?

What could you do? Pretty much nothing, that’s what. This was exactly why you didn’t want to be dependent on him, or any man really, for your living conditions. You’d already been with someone who had gotten you into just such a situation. Him, you had been able to walk away from, eventually, though it had left you with scars and baggage. You had no means of escape from Loki.

And he had suddenly gotten so very tactile. Almost the very instant he knew that you would be staying, that he had gotten that concession to let him ‘take care’ of you out of you. Had he taken that as consent? How far was he going to take it? What could you do to fight back? Could you?

You set the book aside, and gazed out the window at the budding city, trying to calm down. Surely you were jumping to too many conclusions. There was no evidence for any of this, except for every entry in that book, which unapologetically painted the gods as major league assholes.

It wormed its way nefariously into your brain. Thousands of years was a long time to do truly awful things, and become jaded about them. Or simply forget they had even happened! A long time to justify, to normalize. What might be hidden, coiled up in his past, waiting to spring out at you? You didn’t know the man!

The book openly described him as a god of evil. Of trickery and lies, of deception. It didn’t seem possible. Evil wasn’t a solid concept. Acts could be evil, deeds could be evil, but evil as a concept was nebulous. It couldn’t be embodied by one person. People could, and did frequently do both.

But what if you were wrong? While you considered yourself as well educated as you could get on your own, it wasn’t as if you had never been fooled before. And if he was basically the god of fooling people, really so cold-hearted and vicious, really just playing a little game with your life, how would you ever know?

You were stuck trusting him, while the only source of information you had said that was a thing you should absolutely never do. So which did you believe; your own brief experiences, or an author who might be biased or might be an actual expert on the subject?

Did it matter? Knowing what he might do to you did you no good if you had no way to escape it. Maybe you should just steel yourself to the idea that he might not be done taking from you.

You were wound tight as a wire by the time you heard him enter the rooms, and you prayed to whoever might be out there that he would just skip checking in on you.

There might be thousands of gods in the universe, but they were all deaf tonight. Loki opened the door without even knocking.

“It’s dinnertime.” Was all he said, clearly expecting you to simply come along. So that’s what you did.

                                                                                   *****

Brunnhilde was a goddess too; the book had said that all Valkyries were. Not goddesses of anything in particular, apparently, but divine nonetheless. You were the only one at the table who was…lesser. Even Heimdall had come in and joined you all for supper.

Why Loki insisted on having you there baffled you. That first night was obviously a formality, but there was no reason to keep bringing you along. You felt even more awkward and out of place tonight, and he still kept touching you!

But with a bunch of gods at the table, maybe you could get a few answers.

“Um, if you don’t mind me asking, where’s Freya?”

Thor hadn’t been expecting the question, but didn’t seem offended by it.

“She’s on Vanaheim, naturally.” He said, as if it were obvious. As if you knew what Vanaheim was.  “Along with her brother, and her father. Among others. Right?”

He looked at Heimdall, who gazed at the ceiling for a long moment.

“Yes.” He said simply.

“Good. They are just elsewhere right now, why?”

“Well, I just wondered why they weren’t here with the rest of you.” You said. The book had said that Heimdall could see anything, anywhere. It looked like that part was true. Did that mean the rest of it was? “Or why you weren’t with the rest of them. Why you decided to relocate here instead of…Vanaheim, was it?”

“The Earth is among the largest of the ni-eight realms.” Thor explained. “There is room for us here. And to be perfectly honest, humankind is much better at adapting to the presence of strangers than any other people I know. It must have something to do with your unusually short lifespans. Or maybe the almost aggressively social nature of your species.”

“What are the eight realms?” you asked. Your book must have skipped over that part, in its brevity.

“I believe an astronomy lesson just got planned for tomorrow.” Loki said.

“History too.” Brunnhilde added. “How’d you like to be the first human in centuries to gain an education in Asgardian history?”

“Second.” Thor muttered very quietly.

Loki and Heimdall seemed to both find that one spot on the ceiling very interesting, while Brunnhilde attempted to stare more information out of Thor.

None of your business. You turned your attention to your serving of creamy yogurt stuff-skyr-and its delicious red berry topping. Why didn’t they have this stuff back home? It was amazing. You didn’t allow Loki to drag you away until you’d finished every bit.

                                                                                     *****

 You ended up in the big library again, in another newish layered dress of green, black, and gold. They weren’t being very subtle about this. It wasn’t that they were bad colors, it was just that they were so very specific.

The prince and the Valkyrie had taken over an entire table, piled it high with books and illustrations. Loki waved you over excitedly.

“We’ve devised a joint lesson that you should find very enlightening. Come, sit. You will like this.”

He pulled your chair out for you, a noble gesture that was mostly lost on you. He took his own seat beside you.

“Let me start with the local galactic supercluster.” Loki said.

“The what now?”

“Yggdrasil.”

“The what now?”

He gestured grandly at the center of the table, from which a billowing figure began to grow and branch. Bright lights blossomed in places, glittering sparks shimmered across limbs of darkness. A masterpiece of tiny details, almost incomprehensible outside of context. It was incredibly beautiful.

“Is this…is it space?” You hazarded a guess. You hadn’t gotten very far in your astronomy book, but he had called it a ‘galactic supercluster’ which sounded rather self-explanatory.

“Oh yes. This is Yggdrasil. The Tree of Worlds, the Guardian of Wisdom. Is it not glorious?”

Another gesture, and the image began to slowly rotate.

“It’s very beautiful.” The way he was looking at you was so expectant. Was he showing off? “This is full of galaxies then? All these lights?”

“The lights are individual stars. But the glow you see is the combined light of tens of thousands of galaxies. Asgard once held influence over great swathes of this area, and our name was known and respected all throughout.”

You stared. This one image represented an area bigger than you could possibly comprehend.

“How?” You asked. It didn’t seem like there were enough Asgardians to even leave a single representative in every galaxy therein. How could the influence of one species reach so far?

“Same way everyone else does.” Brunnhilde said. “We’re really good at stabbing things.”

“There were a number of factors.” Loki said dryly. “Our great lifespans, prior connections made with other races, expansive colonies, the high number of Aesir born to us, and of course, the Bifrost. Other races had those other things to some degree or another, but no one else had a Bifrost.”

“That’s the beam of light that brought me here, isn’t it?” You asked. “That’s the thing that brought Thor, uh, the king back and forth between Asgard and Earth, right?”

“The one that brought you here is but the palest reflection of what we once had.” Loki said. “But give it time, and we will rebuild it to be as great as it once was, perhaps even better. I’m not sure you will live that long though. Maybe, if we are lucky, I can show you another planet someday.”

It was a good thing you were sitting down. The very thought of being on another world was both terrifying and elating.

“W-where would you take me?” You asked. What worlds were out there?

“Probably here.” The image zoomed in and in, past galaxies, stars, and nebulae, to focus on a very green and cloudy planet with one large moon. “This is Vanaheim. It isn’t dissimilar to what your own planet used to be a few thousand years ago. Here is Midgard, for comparison.”

The familiar globe of the Earth popped up next to Vanaheim, and your eyes widened at the difference in size. You were vaguely aware the Earth was the largest terrestrial planet in your solar system, but you hadn’t realized how big that really meant. The little image loomed over Vanaheim, nearly twice as big, and with much larger oceans.

“The differences look great, but Vanaheim is very similar to Midgard in composition, atmosphere, and ecology. Look.” Again, the image zoomed in, blowing through thick clouds, dropping down among tall forests that looked like conifers, though you knew they could not be.

At ground level, there was a small clearing from which a village sprouted. People moved here and there, looking just like regular people that you might see every day.

“These are the Vanir.” Brunnhilde said, taking hold of the conversation again. “Let me start a bit earlier in our history. Asgard became a space-faring civilization very early on, and we expanded into the star system that would become ours quickly. We conquered Nornheim, the only terrestrial planet in the system.” She gestured to Loki, who brought up an image of a large, dry, stony world, nearly as large as Earth, but without any blue or green, nothing but rock.

“This was back in Buri’s day, mind, and the Bifrost had just been built. Invading the planet was a test of its power. Turned out there actually was a race of people who lived there. They were rocks, just like everything else on the planet, but they really, really didn’t like us being there. And just like that, we were at war. We took the planet, but the rock trolls wouldn’t surrender. So we experimented with the Bifrost once more, using it to remove the trolls from Nornheim, and sending them to the next planet we found. That turned out to be Vanaheim.”

“Good lord.” You said, appalled.  “Why do all that in the first place?”

“Why do humans go to war?” Brunnhilde asked. “Not the fake reasons. Not religious or ethnic reasons, but the real, underlying reasons your ancestors always went to war?”

You thought for a moment, stripping away all the excuses, ideological differences, racial fears, age-old prejudices. What made the first man pick up a stone and smash the guy next to him?

“Resources.” You said. “Either need or greed, it’s all about what you can take from them.”

“You got it!” Brunnhilde said. “Buri was trying to build the foundations of Asgard and he needed as many mineral resources as he could get. And there was a whole planet of rocks, guarded only by rocks. So he took it.”

“Why not settle there?”

“Because it was just rocks! There was no water there, except in trace amounts in the atmosphere, and inside the rocks. No plants, no life other than the rock trolls. And Buri was obsessed with building an eternal realm for his people, from scratch. Before that, the pre-Asgardian people lived on fleets of ships, but most information from before they arrived in the Nornheim system and took over has been lost. No one knows where our ancestors first came from, and after Asgard was built, it was no longer considered important.

We mined Nornheim from then until very recently, and there was still plenty more left. It’s lost to us now. Perhaps new life will arise there again, who knows?

In any case, after the base of Asgard was built, we began looking outward again. The Bifrost allowed us to discover more worlds, and to rediscover Vanaheim. By that time, we’d actually forgotten about the whole banishing an entire species to a completely different realm thing, but the Vanir sure hadn’t!”

Nornheim disappeared, Earth disappeared, the wall of illusions focused back on Vanaheim and the Vanir.

“When we arrived, we hoped to take trees and topsoil back with us. But it turns out the Vanir had heard of us, from the mouths of a new enemy who had appeared suddenly to make war on them generations ago. And just like that, we were at war again.

The Vanir have always preferred to put down roots and stay where they are. We could have just left, and they would not have followed. But this was the reign of Borr, and Borr liked to conquer.”

You shuddered. It was a little disappointing to discover that the magical space gods ancestors had been just as bad as yours, and on a much larger scale.

“We lost.” Brunnhilde said.

“We didn’t win.” Loki corrected. “There’s a difference.”

The Valkyrie shrugged. “To Borr, a draw was as bad as a loss, because it was not a win.”

“Yes, he was rather rigid and uncomplicated like that.” Loki grumbled, as if embarrassed.

“This was your ancestor?” You asked.

“This was my grandfather.” He admitted.

“That recent?”

“It would not seem recent to you. And I never met the man. He died in war, long before any of us were born. A fitting end, I suppose.”

“It’s how he would have wanted to go, if he had ever expected to die.” Brunnhilde resumed. “The war ran long and fierce; neither the Vanir or Asgardians were very numerous at the time, but both were ferocious combatants. The Vanir are blessed with many of the strengths that our people once thought belonged only to them; long life, great strength, resilience, and so forth. And, to our great surprise, they had Aesir among them.”

“Those are gods, right?” The book had given that name to the gods, but hadn’t mentioned them belonging to different species.

“You would call them that, yeah. This was the first time we encountered them outside our own people, and it really threw us. Neither side could prove superior, so we had to try for peace instead.”

“Something Borr never tried again.” Loki interjected.

“Vanir custom demanded a trade of political hostages to ensure peace. From us, they gained Vili and Ve, Borr’s youngest sons. From them, we gained Njord and his children, Freya and Freyr.”

“So, they’re Vanir? Well no wonder they are on Vanaheim!”

“They come and go at their whims, now that we are allies” Loki said. “It’s better that they were there. Freya has a terrible temper, and while I would have personally loved to watch her punch Thanos in the face, I would not have liked to see her killed. I’ve never had anything against the twins.”

With a gesture, the trees and village swirled and coalesced into three incredibly beautiful individuals. A man who appeared to be closing in on middle age, decorated with seashells, his black hair attractively wind-blown. A gorgeous, voluptuous woman with a sword in her graceful hand, and a conspicuous golden necklace at her slender, tan throat. An extremely inviting young man with sparkling black eyes and a gentle smile, flowers in his tidy hair.

You reached out for him, without even realizing you were doing it. Your fingers passed right through, and Loki caught them on the other side, as the image dissipated around your hand.

“It’s just an illusion.” He said. “He’s not really here. A creature of base urges, are we?” He seemed annoyed.

Loki is skilled in the artifice of illusion, and he uses this to embellish his lies. So the book had said.

“Well, you made the illusion!” You said defensively.

“Oh, were you reaching for me?”

“No! I was just…” What had you been doing? You had just needed to try to touch the image of Freyr for some reason.

“Can it, your highness.” Brunnhilde interrupted, receiving a furious glare in return. “You know she couldn’t help it.”

“Is a simple image really so potent?”

“You’re Aesir, he doesn’t affect you in the same way. She’s mortal, and came from a land of grain. She was a baker, for the Norn’s sake! Of course even an image would affect her!”

“Why, please?” You asked above their rising voices. “I didn’t actually mean to do that. What happened?”

“Freyr is a fertility god.” Loki said dismissively. Oh yes, he was definitely annoyed. “He governs the cycle of crops, prosperity of all kinds, fruitfulness, and so on, and so forth. He and his retinue are associated with the baking of bread and animal slaughter; both as symbols of plenty, and as sacred offerings. You lived and worked in his domain, whether you knew it or not.”

His tone clearly indicated that he considered you weak for acting as you had, but his words sparked a pulse of pride. You had been doing, if not THE Lord’s work, then A Lord’s work.

“Oh, don’t look so smug. Fertility and prosperity gods are ridiculously common. They make up a huge percentage of Aesir across the universe. Coming under the influence of one or more is practically inevitable for mortal species.”

“You know, you asked me if I was ashamed of the work I did, or of ‘what I am’ was how you put it. And I’m not. My society really feels the need to consider poor people as less than dirt, and they take all the value away from low-paying jobs, but the thing is, those jobs are actually really important. All those jobs they say are for losers and failures are jobs that provide services that they desperately want. That they need even. Without those jobs and those workers, civilization would fall apart. What are you going to do without grocery stores? Or gas stations? Or sanitation workers? Or bakers?

The bad treatment did get to me. It gets to all of us who are in that situation, because we can see how wrong it is. But now I find out there’s a god somewhere in the universe who thinks bread is good and worth something, and surrounds himself with people like me. Why shouldn’t I be proud of that?”

“Oh, he’d like you.” Brunnhilde said.

Loki released your hand and crossed his arms. The illusion dropped away entirely.

“Anyway,” Brunnhilde continued as if nothing had happened. “We considered it safe to retreat back to Asgard at that point, and couldn’t do much invading for a while after that. But we did continue locating other planets across Yggdrasil. Some were empty, and we sent small groups to colonize them. Others were inhabited, but friendly. Borr conquered these through treaties and trade. But eventually, our army built back up. And then we located Svartalfheim. But before we go into that, would you like to take a break, to think about what you’ve already learned? It must be getting close to lunch time.”

“Yeah, actually.” You said, grateful for a small reprieve. Time to reflect on the information and ask questions without derailing the whole lesson would be welcome. So would the food. You wondered if you would ever stop feeling so hungry.

The three of you left the table as it was; according to Loki, no one would bother it for the rest of the day. You found yourself back in the side room off the banquet hall, enthusiastically tucking into a tasty lunch. At least the food was better than your budget usually allowed.

“So can you tell me more about the Aesir?” You asked.

Thor entered the room with a plate full of food.

“Specifically, why are there so many fertility gods?”

Thor immediately turned around and left.

“Coward!” Brunnhilde called after him. Loki snickered.

“Okay, what was that all about?” You asked. It was weird watching the mighty Thor retreat from a conversation.

“Oh, he’s just shy.” Brunnhilde said. “You know he’s a sky god, right? Lightning and thunder, storms?”

You nodded.

“And guess what else?”

“What, really? But I’m not drawn to touch him.”

“Eh, well, it’s kind of secondary to the thunder thing. He’s associated with the rains, but not the harvest. Freyr’s there from the beginning, to the end.”

“Gotta get me a man like that.” You mused.

Loki set his fork down just a bit harder than necessary.

“He’s married!” He exclaimed.

“Oh?” You asked, surprised that he seemed so scandalized. “To whom?”

Loki looked away from you, lips pressed into a thin line. Brunnhilde chuckled.

“A giant.” She answered.

“There’s giants?” You asked. Another kind of alien? How big could they get?

“That’s an entirely different lesson. You wanted to know about Aesir?”

You dug into a little cobbler of a blueberry-like fruit. They had called it bilberry. You called it delicious.

“Yes. So, are they just born at random, or what?”

“They can arise from any line, at any time.” Loki said. “We have recorded them in at least six of the ni-eight realms. But they do occur more commonly when there is at least one Aesir parent.”

“How do you know if you are one? You come out of the womb shooting lighting? Or does it at least wait until puberty?”

“Eh, it depends.” Brunnhilde said. “I assume they figured Heimdall out as soon as he opened his eyes. For others it’s a bit more subtle. But it gets figured out in the end.”

“But what causes it to happen in the first place?” You wondered. “This has presumably been going on for what, millions of years? When did it start? And why, and what keeps it going?”

“I’m sure every culture throughout time and space has their own mythos about it.” Loki said.  “My personal theory is that it involves the infinity stones. Which just means that I’ll never get to test it.” He grumbled.

Brunnhilde stared at him.

“Do they have an affinity for magic?” You asked. “The king said they made up everything in the universe.”

“They could be considered magical. Certainly they come from a source beyond anyone’s total understanding. There are stones that correspond to concepts so nebulous as Power, and Reality. I don’t suppose it would be too far-fetched to think they could have influenced the creation of beings such as us.”

“Excuse me!” Brunnhilde interrupted, earning a disgruntled look from Loki, who seemed to have been really getting into his theory. “Why does she know about that?”

“I honestly have no idea.” You said. “I remember what happened, but nobody knows why.”

“Is it because you have magical potential?” She asked. “His majesty said you were learning sorcery.”

“I…don’t know? Is it?” You asked Loki, but he was already hurrying out the door to yell at his brother.

“I think I know how to tell which humans can learn sorcery! Thor! She said there was a whole forum of them!”

“Thank you, Brunnhilde! You’re so brilliant!” She called out after him. “Oh, thank you, I’m aware! But it’s nice to hear anyway!” She laughed, shaking her head. “Well, there goes my co-instructor. Come on, you want to go learn about Svartalfheim anyway?”

[lapis-lazuliie]

why eggscellent is the best rs episode

so you all know this episode is my #1 favourite in the entire show, and nothing you can say will change my mind. below i’ve written a pretty long, almost detailed, reasoning of why i hold this one in particular so close to my heart and i would put it under a read more, but again, tumblr on mobile is complete horseshit

so lets get on w/ the “review/rant/opinion piece” ;

i’m going to start at the argument scene between benson and mordecai. what i love most about it is how well recognised it is. i don’t exactly know how to put it bc of course it was “”“well recognised”“” since jg himself wrote the entire episode but…..it’s just such a tense moment already, and it becomes suddenly Worse when mordecai socks benson in the face

the entire argument between them is so emotionally charged and you’re not given a moment to ‘breathe’ until the next scene rolls over of mordecai ordering the omelette. the episode definitely deserved its’ emmy, but that scene ALONE is worth a lot of praise. it was so well written and it’s crystal clear jg /loved/ those two characters in particular

honestly……and i have absolutely no qualms typing this……..i truly think a flip switched on the show after this episode

for the first two seasons, it was really the viewers learning about who these characters are and the world built around them; us seeing the hilarious banter between mordecai and rigby (and others lol), and sure the first few episodes of the 3rd season did that, but when eggscellent aired…….it was an entirely different ballgame

the core of the show is really mordecai and rigby’s friendship; we see their antics through seasons 1 + 2 where it just exists w/ a lot of hilarity in the situations they get in. but nothing actually happened to showcase that friendship (and their characters) propery until ‘eggscellent’, where we were introduced to a truly dire situation where their relationship and mordecai’s character were put on complete display

in the earlier seasons, rigbys defining trait was that he fucks around and doesn’t bother with the backlash from it. mordecai’s defining trait was recognising the responsibility put on him and using that…….(there’s probably a better, more obvious trait, sorry but it illustrates my point plus it’s like 12:30am right now and i just want to get this out of my system lmao….)

in the episode, these traits take an absolute turning point in that it’s not all fun and games anymore; rigby does a completely idiotic thing that lands him in a coma and mordecai makes absolutely no hesitation in stepping up to the plate and making the right decision by doing what rigby now can’t

yes rigby still does fuck up in episodes (and seasons) after this and mordecai still has to stick up for him sometimes but that situation obviously made their friendship a whole lot stronger, and it made the audience extremely aware of the lengths mordecai will go for somebody he deeply cares about…..and that trait was shown countless times after this through various episodes. it made us come to the realisation of how important rigby is to mordecai and had us love their friendship even more bc of what mordecai was willing to do for him

bensons defining trait is his inability to put up with bullshit, namely mordecai and rigby’s bullshit. just as he comes to learn rigby could possibly not wake up from the coma, his IMMEDIATE understanding of the situation is “this is what your idiotic behaviour gets you. this is what happens when you don’t listen to me and this is a perfect fucking learning curve for you two”. and while mordecai can understand this to a certain extent, he still has no hesitation in punching him straight in the face for it bc now is not the time to bring this shit up, especially in the worst fucking situation imagineable and their argument starts from there before mordecai walks out

being on the outskirts of this relationship, benson only witnesses a fraction of mordecai’s caring nature for rigby. but what he doesn’t see or at least doesn’t exactly consider is the absolute compassion and responsibility mordecai feels when faced w/ a scenario where their screwing around takes on an entirely different set of circumstances. and it still doesn’t comprehend bc he’s never fully grasped the idea of them being two seperate people. yes he knows mordecai is capable of responsiblity, moreso than rigby, but it’s somewhat easier for him to simply jam them together because a majority of the dangerous shit caused around the park is always their fault. mordecai could easily blab to benson a lot of the time, but bc of his basic dedication to staying by rigby’s side, he chooses not to, and so benson really has no choice BUT to see them as a unit no matter the situation they find themselves in

a lot of what benson’s about is work and that’s very clearly shown to us from the get go. it’s who he /is/, he’s the boss at the park and that’s all we really get to see of him (until the first few episodes of s3 where we’re given some honest insight into who he used to be and currently is), so of course he holds a certain expectation for the employees who work under him. he expects rigby to do this shitty thing and pay for the aftermath later. he expects mordecai to follow along and pick up the pieces that’ve been dropped by him

bc he’s grown so used to their daily fuck ups, it comes as no surprise to him that rigby lands himself in the hospital from an absolutely idiotic decision he was consciously aware of making. and bc benson is so strongly aware of this, he has the absolute gall to turn around and tell mordecai exactly why this has happened; because they skipped on work

to reiterate: he wants the two to come away from this knowing that a very real and terrifying thing has suddenly come about because they didn’t do their fucking jobs. and this is the exact kind of shit benson had been trying to avoid since hiring them. to him, this was GOING to happen. this was inevitable

these characters and their relationships have already been so well established that having a situation between them suddenly be cranked all the way to 11 is of course going to call for some incredibly needed development; not only does mordecai physically lash out at benson, he also verbally attacks him too by admitting to him that nobody truly cares for him beyond the general boss/employee relationship. it’s extremely harsh and is said in such a cold way that we’re just sat there wondering when benson’s going to speak his mind again to counter with him

but he doesn’t. of course he doesn’t. and why? bc that punch to the face and those verbal insults were a fucking wake up call. in all the time he’s known mordecai, this is the very first instance where he sees firsthand just how mordecai takes on the emotional backlash from shit like this. and he stands there and takes it because he knows mordecai is 100% in the right in his actions and his words; and even if he isn’t, benson takes it on anyway bc mordecai has every fucking right to react like this from being fed such a ballsy piece of bullshit in an incredibly extreme situation that shouldn’t call for this whatsoever

it’s in mordecai’s exact reaction that benson’s logical, “no bullshit’ attitude comes to a grinding halt and he’s suddenly forced to take a step back and really come to terms with seeing mordecai for who he truly is without rigby by his side for the very first time since he’s known him. it’s mordecai’s raw devotion and love for the people he cares about, in this case: rigby, that causes benson to come to the gradual understanding of how much he truly fucked up in saying what he had before

in an earlier s3 episode, benson tries unsuccesfully to get rid of a stick hockey game mordecai and rigby find holed up in the garage. though the two want to know why he’s so against them playing it, we’re not exactly told much of anything until close to the end of the episode, where it’s revealed to us that benson used to be a stick hockey champion and had taken a young apprentice under his wing by the name of dave. without going into details, dave is killed in a match against a man named chong and since the incident, benson has had to put away another facet of his past until the duo dig it up again. so he has no choice but to go down there and play chong, thus winning and getting the closure he needs with daves death

you would think bc of all this, bensons empathy card would come running through the gate as soon as he realises just how serious the situation is. if he wasn’t constantly wearing a shell made of wax paper, maybe the first thing to come out his mouth would’ve been “oh shit mordecai i’m so sorry” instead of “you fucked up and this is why” like a decent human being

……okay

when benson realises what he said was completely uncalled for, he not only apologises to mordecai, but he takes it upon HIMSELF to give him jonthans own book and work with mordecai to complete the challenge, and this leads into what has to be one of my favourite uses of a licenced song in this show since its airing; bonnie tylers ‘holding out for a hero’ played over an animated 80s-esque training montage

the music has always been a main fixture of the show for a lot of people. older audiences can very much appreciate the brief nostalgia trip while saying aloud “they got that song in here? kudos to them!” and younger audiences can appreciate the flashy colours and coming to the realisation that this was played in the cinematic masterpiece that is shrek 2, while both can be similitanously distracted by how truly boring these scenes would be without music overlaying them. that’s the beauty of a montage, folks; no matter the age, they’re still enjoyable to watch….unless they have a shitty song playing over them. 'holding out for a hero’ was such a perfect song choice to have in this episode; not only does it encapsulate the utter cheesiness of every training montage of the 80s but it fits for the exact scenario that rigby is in. i don’t need to spell it out for you bc it’s already there in the damn title, but let me just say that jg could not have chosen a more 'right’ song than this one

they stop outside the restaurant, and as everyone clambers out of the cart, we get ANOTHER one of my absolute favourite scenes between benson and mordecai; i believe this scene was christened amongst the rs fanbase as 'the apology scene’, where mordecai admits to benson that he is a good friend despite how much of an absolute dick benson can be sometimes. it’s incredibly sweet and written in a very direct way; from what we’ve already seen between them up until this point, there is no doubt mordecai holds a complete plethora of feelings about benson and their relationship, benson likewise upon suddenly learning just how highly mordecai values the friendships around him, his own with rigby especially, and instead of getting all choked up about it, mordecai makes it very clear that as of right now, it’s all he has say to benson, and it’s from bensons reaction and one line response that it’s all he needs to hear from him too

in that brief moment, without so much as a few sentences said between them, they’ve come to a mutual understanding of one another, in that both are very aware of just how much this situation has impacted their previous “water and oil” relationship. in fact, this scene was so ridiculously important that in the middle of his commentary for the episode, jg pauses midsentence to watch this scene play out, despite already knowing exactly what happens in it, bc he recognises how pivotal it was in not just their relationship, but in the series as a whole

in an earlier draft of the episode, jg explains in the commentary that they were going to have rigby upchuck the omelette then have the sick come to life and train him in beating the challenge. hilarity and moral questioning ensues when he slowly realises he’s aiding rigby in eating his own kind for a stupid hat and a fight breaks out in the restaurant

not only do i personally fucking adore this change, obviously, but i also find it incredibly interesting in that the absolute craziness of a general episode, where rigby is very much awake and is the main character, is switched out for an episode that showcases the utter importance of friendship, and how rigbys fucking around can get him almost killed, which is what we had seen in previous seasons, but never this bad. in a roundabout way, rigby is the main character, even if he isn’t consciously aware for a second of the events happening around him, bc we see the complete fallback rigbys idiotic decision has on not just mordecai, but benson too

jg clearly took this episode idea and fucking ran with it. it was the only episode to win them an emmy, and rightfully so; every single scene is an absolute masterpiece and it pales in complete comparison to almost every other episode following it. with a show so trenched in its tagline “anything but regular”, the much needed turning point comes as an absolute surprise to the audience, where the core of the show is flipped on its head and we’re suddenly told that your moronic behaviour can have extreme backlash when you’re unaware of the consequences that come with it. having benson and mordecai be front and center of it all, the two characters who are very knowledgable of the sheer stupidity rigby can pocess at times, is so fucking perfect in itself bc it forces them to push aside their differences to work together in something benson would usually find as completely ludicrous and would most likely opt out of if the stakes weren’t so high

i’ve already said before that i love this episode and i will continue to love it bc it is so fucking important. in the 11 minutes of runtime, jg manages to write an episode that, at its core, is about friendship and the lengths you’re willing to go for somebody you deeply care about, while also developing a relationship that goes from absolute hatred to the beginning of a friendship based around that very lesson

though the show had produced some truly great episodes from various board artists, jgs always seemed to have a very distinct style to them; they were always wacky and fun, but took on a serious note at times while also hiding some sort of message underneath the antics, and as every show creator, he was highly keyed into the beats of his show. one of the main reasons this episode was so incredible is bc it was made by somebody who has an extreme love for and deep understanding of his characters; yes the artists episodes were fantastic at times, but when it comes down to it, the creator really does know them best, and being the sole artist for this episode gave jg a ton of creative freedom to try his hand at throwing them into such an intense situation for the first time, where mordecai could potentially lose his best friend and seeing just how everybody responds to the weight of that scenario is exactly something we, the audience, needed to see. and the shows creator healming the reigns for this entire episode was just 👌🏼

you really could not have trusted anybody else to board this episode