#how you cling on to literally anything and everything that gives you something along the lines of hope

[anxiouspark]

the things you do for love ~

Queen of Tears (2024), dir. Jang Young-Woo, Kim Hee-Won

[brittle-doughie]

Since we had that story of Y/N Cookie wanting to keep the Ancients from going out and getting themselves killed up against Dark Enchantress Cookie, how about something similar with the Beasts?

>The Beasts get corrupted

>Y/N Cookie, not corrupted, tries to fight them, and fails

>cue them starting to die

>Beasts start panicking, completely overestimating how much Y/N Cookie could take

>Y/N Cookie, in their last moments, wishes they could’ve done more to help the Beasts not get corrupted before finally going

>Witch(es) stumble upon this scene, seeing their greatest cookie having been crumbled, along with whatever other carnage is around

>cue literally everything else

Being sealed away with the guilt of spilling jam from the cookie you all loved the most fresh on your mind? They are NOT gonna be doing so hot in there.

The Tale of the Forced Hand (The Five Beasts)

Witch’s Castle witches are pretty neat.

“The story begins when this very Silver Tree was only a small sapling…When the World of Desserts was at its infancy.”

“The Witches baked six Cookies to help them in their creation of the world.”

“..harness the radiance bestowed upon you for the betterment of this world…”

“And the six Cookies imbued with absolute powers walked Earthbread as almighty envoys of the Great Creators.”

“Knowledge, Volition, Compassion, Happiness, Change, and Solidarity.”

“The Dessert World bound by these Five Virtues was nothing short of paradise.”

Gingerbrave and Wizard Cookie chimed in with their responses.

“So those six Cookies were the original owners of the Soul Jam?”

“Huh…Those “Six Virtues” are different from those of the Soul Jams. There’s six of them, yet only five today…”

“The Virtue of Compassion is what held the other Virtues so closely together, cherishing each of them equally as much.”

“Alas, for they and the perfect age were short-lived. Absolute power begets nothing but arrogance. It inevitably corrupts its wielder, bringing them to the most tragic of ends…A fate even the Witches were unable to foresee.”

“One by one, the Five, once regarded as saviors of the Cookie World, gradually turned to Darkness. And thus, the Five Virtues, too, became distorted, twisted…reduced to Deceit, Apathy, Sloth, Destruction, and Silence….”

Strawberry Cookie shuddered in worry at the mere mention of the fallen virtues.

“Deceit, Apathy, Sloth, Destruction, and Silence..that sounds really scary…

“Wait, what about the Virtue of Compassion? They weren’t evil too, were they?”

“The Virtue of Compassion was able to prevail against their descent into Darkness with their Soul Jam, whereas now the Five Beasts, the apostles of evil, began their dark crusade…”

“The Witches asked of Compassion to protect the Cookie World from the Beast Cookies, lending them what strength they could give.”

“Compassion fought bravely against the Beasts, blocking each of their blows and resisting their sickly whispers…But it was only a matter of time before Compassion slowly began to whittle…”

———————————————————————

“Come on, snap out of you all! This isn’t what you guys once were!”

“What’s the big deal, silly willy~ There isn’t anything wrong with dabbling yourself in a little bit of Darkness, you should try it with us!”

“No! This isn’t you! You were all my best friends! Come to your senses! Now!”

“It pains me to see you still cling onto false hope that you’re different than the rest of us, darling~ Can you just let go and become who you really are? For me~?”

“I can’t…I cannot forsake my oath to protect the Cookie World. You all know that! Cookies that want happy lives, don’t you want that?”

“They will all meet the same fate in the end, reduced to nothing…the futility of all this should be clear to you…”

“As if! It isn’t pointless to live life the way you want it to! It’s how you spend it and make the most of it!”

“They will all crumble in the end, so why not give them a little push! You’re starting to really aggravate me now, Y/N Cookie!”

“I won’t let you hurt them and I don’t want to hurt you all any more then I have to! Please, don’t do this…”

“……”

“Your silence says everything I need to hear from you. I tried…but I will put a stop you no matter if I’m reduced to bits!”

———————————————————————

“Woah….What happened to them?”

“The Virtue of Compassion fought for as long as they were able, their dough slowly whittling away with every blow that dealt to them. The Beasts have overestimated just how durable their former friend was…and they perished right in the middle of the circle….”

———————————————————————

“Ok, ya silly goose! You can stand right back up now! You put on a great show, let us give you a round of applause!”

“Darling, we know we haven’t hit you too hard. You can join us and we can all be together once more as Beasts…”

“Hmm…they don’t seem to be responding to us…”

“Hey, Y/N Cookie. Quit being soft and get up already, you’re..starting to worry me a bit here, you know.”

Silent Salt Cookie knelt down and placed their thumb on your wrist…jumping back when they feel nothing…

“Ahaha! Okay! This isn’t funny anymore, you softie! You win! Stand up on your two feet now! I’ll make you if you don’t!”

“D-Darling? P-Please get up. Look, I’m sorry for what I said earlier, I-WE just really wanted you to join us…”

“Burning Spice Cookie, just how hard were your strikes to their dough?

“D-Don’t put any type of blame on me! All of you were just as rough with them as I was!”

“….!”

The Beast Cookies rushed to their fallen friend in the center, clearly distraught on their faces…

“Y/N Cookie, if you don’t stop playing jokes with me right now, I’ll never forgive you!”

“Darling! Wake up! I-I’m sorry! I shouldn’t have hit you so hard! Please wake up! You have to! Don’t leave me alone!”

“It was pointless to try and stop us, Y/N Cookie. Yet…my heart cries and aches, why did you have to resist….please, wake up…”

“God DAMN IT. I-I went too far, I shouldn’t have been so brutal with my swings and now look at you, your dough..damaged and ruined….because of me….”

“….Hmph….”

Silent Salt just lowered their head to look at the ground, feeling nothing but shame and remorse for what they had done…for what they all had done….

“I wish…I could’ve done more for you all…I wished…that I had loved all of you more…to not…end up like this...”

“…..I’m sorry…..”

———————————————————————

“The Witches couldn’t bear to see what fate had befallen their creations, made even more distraught at the loss of their greatest creation among them all…they punished the Beasts by sealing them away deep within this land…”

“And planted the seed of the Silver Tree to ensure their evil power never sees the light of day again. Right where the Virtue of Compassion was laid to rest, so that at least a part of them can live on….From then on, this land where the Beasts were put to sleep, was called Beast Yeast.”

“The Witches then gathered the last vestiges of power bestowed upon the Beasts, untouched by their corruption. They further cleansed, purified it, and in the end…Soul Jam was created. The purest Soul Jam was meant to be earned by Cookies who had proven themselves worthy.”

“All, but Compassion. For their purity simply could not be remade again. The Witch who personally baked Compassion had locked herself away in grief after the loss of her cookie and took the knowledge of the recipe and baking of Compassion with her…”

“So, there can never be another cookie like Compassion?”

“It’s what they say, but all life powder returns to the earth. It isn’t out of the realm of possibility that the Virtue of Compassion may return in some form, someday…”

Everyone’s eyes turned to Y/N Cookie, who was casually eating some food offered to them by the Faeries.

“…..What?”

[anantaru]

⚝ DAY 2 — POWER IMBALANCE

kinktober 2024. — masterlist | ao3

— including. — blade, jing yuan, aventurine

— warnings. — fem! reader, power imbalance, oral (fem! receiving), toxic & manipulation, hard syx, dom/sub

⚝ — BLADE

blade feels to you like a storm, his grip on you endlessly overwhelming yet not because he's forcing it on you, no, but because his dependence on you was suffocating.

the stellaron hunter was dangerous, you were very much aware of it, although never pondering on the fact that you were playing with fire here.

his cock slides in between your folds before slipping to your hole, right then, you can feel the hot push of his tip, slow at first, but persistent, burning and stretching you. blade opens you up as you clutch at his shoulders each time, you're certain you can take him, you can't— it won't fit—such always crosses your mind but, you see, your skin was burning and hungry, submitting to him, to his cock sliding in fully— so smooth on your walls, thick inside, searing.

blade clings to you like you’re the only thing tethering him to sanity, and well— maybe you were, he certainly looks at you with an intensity that borders on desperation, a string he needed to hold on to if he wanted to keep at least a little bit of humanity inside himself or else, he’d fall apart.

"you ground me," he murmurs, voice low, his hand searching for your own as he grips it a little too tightly— his neediness haunting as he slumps forward, still thrusting hungry shoves of his cock into you as the rhythm changes just a little, but the pressure was increasing, becoming more meaningful.

in this rare moments, the way his hands tremble slightly when he brushes your hair behind your ear, there’s a tenderness, yes, but you cannot shake off the feeling of being scared of him— were his words the truth? did he mean what he said? would he hurt you in the end or are you really the one to put a light in his dark, twisted world?

⚝ — JING YUAN

jing yuan was always in control, his charm making each and every friend or foe bend to his will effortlessly— and well, you’re no exception. 

frankly, he's used to people following his lead without question, without turning on their own brains, his words were so fittingly persuasive that you barely even notice when you started agreeing with everything he said.

you whine out a breathy, "fuck, more—" as he laps at your clit, the vibrations of his hums and groans making you arch your back into him— you're so sensitive, jing yuan makes you feel all of it with his tongue, all the nerves down there and how muscle slurped and licked a stripe along your slit to tease you, shamelessly moaning against your pussy right after.

"i’m only looking out for you," he lazily mumbles into your cunt, "I know what's ugh—, what's best for you," his fucked out grin disarms you completely as you look down, admiring the view of his hands, big hands, clutching at your trembling thighs before he gives your stomach an anticipatory twist.

he's not forceful though, don't misunderstand, yeah? because simply, jing yuan doesn’t need to be, his self assured confidence made it feel like any resistance would be literally ridiculous. 

after all, his charisma pulls you in, his beauty and face being chocolate box pretty, ethereal and powerful, leaving you wanting to please him too, so badly yeah, to stay on his good side.

⚝ — AVENTURINE

from the outside, aventurine was unable to be read— and even once you got close to him, you found yourself having more difficulties reading him.

his standards were impossibly high, that's for sure, and he never hesitates to point out when you fall short. for some reason he critiques everything you do, from the way you handle the tasks he's given you to your smallest habits, never failing in exhaustedly rolling his eyes with an edge of frustration.

however, wasn't it just amazing how he was always there to clean up the "mess" you made in getting all the tasks wrong, or anything really.

something unmistakable random could happen in your life, even just a favorite item you suddenly lost and aventurine would always be there to help you— like a white knight.

of course, you cannot question him on anything, he was your superior and losing your job would be the last thing you wanted, next to losing the little relationship you've built over the last couple of months with him.

you feels it in your legs, your stomach, your hands, your soul when he touches you— pleasures you.

it's the desire overtaking you first, making you give yourself up entirely to the harsh rhythm of his hips displaying no mercy. aventurine hisses as you squeeze him, the faintness in his head almost making him swoon as your leg tremble and his cock throbs hard in you, the tremulous thrill inside your belly building to a merciless dance.

"i’ll be here, buried right here—" he hums and grinds his hips, his fingers drawing a line on your stomach, up and down, "feel that? you feel me there?"

"not that you, fuck— deserve it," he grunts, cupping your cheeks and brushing a thumb over your lips, "you made so many mistakes today," he breathes while staring down at his cock splitting your puffy cunt.

he adds, "you should be thankful i was there,"

an embarrassed, little sorry was all you managed to get out in return and ugh— the friction of him rubbing against your walls felt absolutely sickening, like you're about to cum and scream any second now.

©2024 anantaru do not repost, copy, translate, modify

[meo-eiru]

Hihihiii :3 Hope you're having a great day author!

This is my first direct interaction in this website generally speaking, so what better way to start than rambling my head off about the twink slutty baby? YES. Lavi. That cute whore that's been on my mine for a good while now...I want to kiss him, want him to cuddle me so bad grrrr I want to rim his pretty ass and use it as my only life source for the rest of my mortal existence. I want to follow every single one of his instructions on how to please him while he guides me with that shit eating smug grin '>:3'. I totally see him as a power bottom, riding my strap effortlessly while he pins me down telling me how much of a pathetic virgin I am and how fortunate I am to even be touching him, how lucky I am that he's willing to teach me how to make him feel good, how he'd laugh once I'm exhausted and he keeps nonchalantly bouncing still with his endless incubi stamina...MMMM...But also, I want to hit his ribs each time he throws an annoying tauntrum, or make him whimper each time he breaks something expensive, I want to sneak into his phone and watch just all the dozens of porn he has in his gallery along with his search history, I need to make him cry so hard until we're both doubting who's the real pervert here...I NEED to peg him. I NEED to spank his cute jiggling ass until it's red and sore. I need to make him deepthroath my strap and perhaps give me head. I NEED to grope his cute small chest and nurse on his rosy nipples while he tries to make a teasing remark only to be interrupted by his own lewd moans. I NEED to watch how all that lube and cum slowly leaks out of his puffy hole with profane sounds while spreading his supple asscheeks further apart as he whines and mewls begging for more. I NEED to cuddle him from behind while I finger his thight whorish asshole, I NEEEED to give him some genuine, gentle love-making while kissing his pretty face and cooing sweet nothings into his ears while he grabs onto my neck thightly saying shamelessly how good it feels.

I want to give him goodnight kisses on the forehead, cheeks, nose, eyes, tummy and finally his soft lips. I want to feel him clinging onto me with his limbs (and tail of course) while we sleep, even better if he craddles my head on his chest. I might even forgive his murders if he promises to be a good boy with a pretty pout even though he'd probably be crossing his fingers behind his back. I want to do each other's hair and nails. I want him to listen to the music I listen to (Rabbit Hole by DECO27 would be SO him). I want to see his deadpaned and disdainful face when I tell him all my bad jokes. I want to go out with him at those aesthetic cafés and buy him everything he wants even if I won't be able to buy anything else for a while. I want us to get matching couple cheesy things. I want us to do lovey dovey stuff together and maybe a kiss that doesn't end up looking out of a hentai. A wholesome one. I want him to live on my lap. I want him to try make him wear decente clothes from time to time. I want to see his reaction once my mortal life comes to an end. (If he cries and gets depressed he'll look so pretty but if he laughs he'll also look so pretty). I want to show him off to my friends even if I know he's probably the type that types 'uwu', ':3' or 'nya~' either satirically or not. I would bear the cringe for him. I want to send him memes and reels and, overall, just hear his laugh because I'm sure it would be gorgeous just like him. <3

He literally lives rent free in my mind this is a call for help. I crave for more Lavi content.

I'm not horny. You are.

Anyway, thanks for the constant posting! I love how you write your characters and draw/paint! You're one of my favorite artists. Eat well and have a good day/night. :)

Oh my dear GOD this was a ROLLER COASTER

I don't even know where to start. Alright so first of all, this is so deliciously written omg??? You made me put Lavi on a plate and eat him I bet he'd taste like cake. The contrast between the wholesome parts and the extremely unholy parts were crazy I felt like I was in a car that randomly speeds up and down

Rabbit hole is indeed very Lavi, the animation fits him so well as well. If I knew how to make them I'd definitely draw a Lavi version. And yes he's definitely the type who'd type "uwu" and ">:3" unironically

THE DRAWINGS ARE SO CUTE AS WELL!! HE LOOKS SO ADORABLE LOOK AT HIS CUTE LITTLE FACE AND CUTE BUTT

[idontknowanyonesblog]

Guys I’m so sorry for my inactivity, I know that I have a few requests and I’m working on those but I’ve just been super tired lately 😭

As a little apology I’d like to present you my general head cannons for the bayverse bots (AOE and TLK)

Bumblebee:

•Super sweet like I mean this mech would travel galaxies for you. He takes I love you to the moon and back to a whole other level.

•Once he accidentally saw you changing and he literally covered his eyes and ran away while making embarrassed little wiring sounds

•He LOVES taking you out on drives. It’s his favourite way to spend time with you. Drive through the countryside? YES! Drive through the mountains? ALSO YES! He just loves driving around with you.

•He seems like the kinda mech to play some corny ass love song if you’re upset. You could balling your eyes out and he’ll just start playing a song and you just look at him like “Are you actually serious right now?” But it’s okay cus he loves you so much and you love him.

•This one’s just for fun

One time Crosshairs mentioned something about having more “fleshies” around here and Bumblebee through a very large piece of scrap metal at him. Crosshairs literally tumbled down to the ground.

Crosshairs:

•He’s such an asshole like it’s really infuriating. Not asshole in like a mean way but if you do something remotely embarrassing he’s gonna remind you about for months. If you have allergies (like me😕) he’s probably gonna laugh his ass off as you repeatedly sneeze and say something along the lines of “this isn’t funny…” and the fact that your voice is all is all messed up just makes him laugh harder.

•He can actually be really romantic. I know he can’t take you out for a candle lit dinner but he’ll take you to beautiful places in nature and you two will just sit there and talk. He loves to take you stargazing, it’s just so peaceful. Half the time he isn’t even looking at the stars though, he’s just looking down at you with a smile.

•He’ll pick a fight with anyone, like I mean anyone. He even gets into fights with Drift (and normally looses). His favourite person to pick a fight with is Bumblebee though, he just loves to terrorize that poor yellow mech. You have apologized to Bumblebee on multiple occasions for Crosshairs actions.

•He’s actually super lovey dovey but won’t admit it. He’s constantly complimenting you and asking if you wanna spend time with him, he’s always carrying you around and holding you as if your going to disappear if he doesn’t cling to you for dear life

•This one’s just for fun

He stole one of Hounds grenades once and was like “Hey watch this!” and when you told him that it wouldn’t be a good idea to throw a literal explosive at a bunch of old cars he was just like “Nah I got this.” Well he blew up a large quarter of the junkyard that day and Cade was very pissed.

Drift (MY MAN😘😻):

•Drift is everything you could possibly want in a man. He’s so nice, caring, charming, nonjudgmental, handsome, intelligent, considerate, loyal and excellent at listening. However he does have a bit of a temper problem and can be quite stubborn.

•Drift hates seeing you upset, he will never forgive himself if he makes you cry. He’d do anything to make you feel better. If you’re upset he’s there to listen and give you advice.

•He loves taking walks with you, it’s his favourite thing to do and if you don’t wanna walk he’ll gladly carry you on his shoulder. If you wanna meditate or be with him while he’s meditating you better get ready for your wedding day because you basically just asked him to marry you.

•He adores you with all his spark, he thinks that he doesn’t deserve such a beautiful being like you. Get ready to constantly get showered by compliments and poems about how much he loves you. If you ever for once say something about how your insecure Drift will fix that in seconds! He’ll kiss you softly while murmuring praises to you until you have to say that you’re 100 percent fine now.

•For fun:

The mini dino bots were annoying him once and he tried to slice them in half. He almost succeeded until you walked by and all 3 of the little creatures hid behind you. Drift just kinda stared at you with a guilty expression, his sword still high in the air ready to strike. He sighed put his sword back as you scolded him for trying to kill the poor things.

Hound:

He’s not very romantic sorry guys😭

But he tries…sort of. He just doesn’t see the need in taking you out somewhere for a date night. If it bothered you and you told him about then he would actually put in some effort. He wants you to be happy so he’ll put aside his feelings on sappy romance and start taking you out on long drives through the countryside.

He’s really funny so if you ever feel sad just talk to him. He’s also good at giving advice, like surprisingly good at it. He’ll just give you a really good piece of advice and then act like he didn’t even say anything at all.

Sometimes he just drops random lore whenever you tell him story. Once you’re done talking he’ll just say something like “oh yeah that reminds me of the time I once killed 3 decepticons with my bare hands.” And you’ll just stare at him dumbfounded.

For fun:

One time Drift was pissing him off with his haikus and stuff so Hound grabbed his sword and just chucked it as far as he could. Drift just stood there, watching as his sword flew to the other side of the junkyard.

Once they heard the sword crash down into a pile of scrap metal Drift just gave him a nasty look and sighed before walking away to go get it back.

Bonus points because the sword almost Crosshairs.

Optimus:

He’s romantic but not in a cheesy way, more of in a “Let me buy you a very expensive bottle of wine so that we can take it back to your place and drink it over a candle lit dinner.” kinda way. Definitely a gentleman through and through.

He cares about you so much that it’s almost a little too much. He wants to know that you’re safe and sound, that you can sleep peacefully every night without a worry in the world.

He loves listening to you. He loves your voice so much. He’ll put you on his shoulder and let you ramble for hours. No matter what you wanna talk about he just wants to listen and be there for you.

For fun:

One time Bumblebee convinced you to go on a drive with him but he ended up speeding and running away from the cops. You called Cade and told me what happened and of course he snitched to Optimus. When the two of you got back Optimus was not very happy with you guys. Bumblebee got scolded for a good 20 minutes and you just ran away before Optimus could even bring up the situation.

Hot Rod:

Hot Rod is such a cutie, he’s so kind, loving, caring and romantic! He’s the definition of a true gentleman. “Hey Hot Rod can we go on a dri-“ you don’t even have to finish your sentence because he’s already in his alt mode.

He always talks about how much he hates his French accent but you love it. It’s charming, cute and it just sounds so good to you. He knows you love it and he uses that to his advantage. Whenever he wants something he’ll start calling you by amour and chérie.

He’s SO romantic, he could possibly be even more lovey and sappy than Bumblebee. Since he lives in a big ass castle where he can roam freely it gives him a larger variety of things you guys can do.

For fun:

You were in your room once and he came to see you, he tapped on the window and it just completely shattered. You jumped up from your bed and looked over at him and he stared at you awkwardly. For a while you just gave him a disapproving stare until he apologized and said he’ll find a way to fix it.

By the way guys I’m so sorry for not being active for a few weeks, but I promise I’ll get back to writing very soon!

[hotchscoffeecup]

how do we carry on?

pairing: hotch x bau!reader

rating: m

word count: 4.8k

genre: angst, hurt no comfort

summary: emily was your confidant, your best friend. when she dies at the hands of ian doyle, you find comfort in your boyfriend, aaron. when you find out that she’s alive and that hotch had known all along, your world falls out from under you. can you and hotch come back from the decision he made for the good of the team?

*if this gains enough traction i might follow up with a pt.2 to give it a happy ending*

The criss-crossed lines of the tile floor blur together as you stare blankly between your feet. The tops of your thighs have gone numb from digging your elbows into them, using your cradled hands as a pillow for your forehead. You couldn’t go home, not until you knew.

Rossi had offered to go on a walk and get a coffee, but shitty lukewarm hospital coffee was the last thing you needed. You hadn’t meant to write him off, you just couldn’t justify doing anything to distract from the fact that she was on that operating table, that Emily’s life was literally hanging in the balance.

The rest of the team was no better off than you are right now. Penelope’s knitting needles clack relentlessly, the scarf inside of her purse growing as her hands keep busy so her mind doesn’t focus on how hard she’s trying not to cry. The last time you’d poked your head up, Derek hadn’t moved from the waiting room windowsill where he’d been standing still as a statue staring out at the cityscape. If Spencer didn’t stop shaking his leg, you feared he would wear a hole straight through the tile. JJ exits the waiting room as often as she returns, her liaising days quickly coming back, making her their only link to the operating room. Hotch’s behavior is no different. His cell rings every ten to fifteen minutes, no doubt the Bureau wanting to know how the hell this could happen. It’s the only sign that time is actually passing and you’re forced to accept that you’re not stuck in some fucked up purgatory-esque hellscape where time stands still, torturing you as your dear friend’s life teeters between worlds.

What you wanted, what you needed was for him to hold you; to place a kiss against your temple and tell you that everything would be alright. It had to be alright.

He couldn’t show favor to you though, not now. The team didn’t know about your relationship with him, though you believe a few have their suspicions. You’re all too observant for your own good. Not much goes unnoticed by anyone. So when JJ walks back into the waiting room, everyone shifts toward her to try and get a glimpse into her facial expression and body language for any sign of an update regarding Emily’s condition.

Instantly, you know something is wrong. JJ’s eyes flit from one person to the next, not lingering very long on anyone. Spencer is the first to stand and you follow suit. You close in, forming a small half circle. Behind JJ, Hotch stands in the doorway, brow straight as he folds his arms across his chest.

“JJ?” Her name is an anxious plea on Penelope’s lips.

JJ’s eyes drop to the floor as she presses her lips together. She takes a deep breath and lifts her eyes, yours the ones they land on as she speaks. “She never made it off the table.”

A choked sob echoes from Garcia as she falls into Derek’s arms, his features fixed as he stares ahead though his knuckles flush white as he holds tightly onto Penelope. Rossi pinches the bridge of his nose, eyes closed as he mutters something to himself; a prayer, maybe. Spencer envelopes JJ in a desperate embrace, as if clinging to her will somehow make her words any less true. Afterall, how can they be? Emily can’t go down, not like this; not after all she’s survived.

Someone says your name. Your brow dips, but you don’t respond. You need to see Emily. Your feet move of their own accord, guiding you through the waiting room. Someone grabs your arm and you tug away from their grasp, set on pushing onward and finding the OR.

Someone repeats your name, and you can’t help but latch on to the deep tenor that belongs to Hotch. You halt in your tracks and close your eyes, tears leaking over your eyelids and down your cheeks.

“I need to talk to Emily,” you say, your voice small.

The way Hotch says your name is laced with pity and you hate the way it sounds on his tongue. He pulls gently on your arm in an attempt to reel you into him, but you resist. You bite your lip to still its trembling. Yanking your arm free, you press on into the hallway and stumble toward the double doors that read in bold letters: Authorized Personnel Only. Fuck that. You’ve got a badge, that’s authority enough. Before you can push through, firm hands twist around your arms.

You push back, but their grip tightens. “Stop,” Hotch urges authoritatively. You turn into him and pound your fist against his chest, a sob cracking free from your mouth. “She’s not gone,” you cry. “She’s not gone. She’s not—” Your legs tremble with the wave of grief that crashes over you and you can’t hold your weight as it does so. Falling to your knees, Hotch reacts. His arms fold around your waist, catching you as you collapse into the wide plane of his chest. Your ribs ache as your lungs inflate with each rapid, sobbing breath. Your vision turns fuzzy at the edges as you try and fail to slow your breathing. It feels like you’re dying as the waves of grief assail you over and over again, battering you, body and mind, in an unrelenting tumultuous current of sorrow and pain as the wicked reality sets in. Emily is dead. You barely feel Hotch’s hand in your hair cradling you against him. As he murmurs apologies and sympathies in your ear, you don’t see the weighted look he exchanges with JJ.

•

The funeral comes and goes. The day is too beautiful for Emily not to be there to see it. You sit on the porch at Hotch’s house, breathing in and out as you watch the daffodils dance in the afternoon breeze. You smooth the fabric of your dress down over your knees, the satin wrinkled from the way you clenched it during the service.

Your phone buzzes in your purse. The number of messages and phone calls you’d ignored continues to rise, but you can’t bring yourself to express any gratitude for their condolences. You can’t bring yourself to feel anything except the crushing weight of grief.

You picture Emily sitting beside you on the wooden porch swing. Last Summer, you’d sat here with her as the team gathered for a Fourth of July Barbecue. Jack had made invitations and delivered them to the team at the office. He’d been so excited and so were you. It was around then that you and Hotch had begun to toe the line between colleagues and something more; a morning coffee dropped off at your desk here, an extra visit to his office there. You’d sat here with Emily watching as Rossi backseat barbecued Hotch on the grill. She’d caught you smiling at him alongside the fondness in your gaze. She’d clocked you from a mile away.

“Oh, you’ve got it bad.” Her laugh had tinkled from lips, ringing like a morning bell.

“What are you talking about?” you’d asked, trying and failing to school your features into a mask of indifference.

“I’ll tell ya, it’s a big swing, but if you hit it, that’s a home run for sure.”

You’d nearly choked on your lemonade, coughing and gasping; drawing the attention of the others.

“Wrong pipe!” Emily had called while pointing at you and clapping a hand against your back. “She’s good!” In a low voice she’d added, “Though I’m sure with him, it’d be just the right pipe.”

You’d elbowed her in the ribs and bust out laughing together. For the longest time after that, she’d been the only person that you’d confided in about your burgeoning feelings and relationship with Aaron. Through that, she’d quickly become your closest friend on the team.

A couple of kids shout at one another, laughing, as they ride past the house on their bicycles; shattering the memory. You dip into your purse and withdraw your phone, pressing a button and powering it down. The screen door creaks on its hinges and Hotch steps down onto the porch, the planks shifting beneath his weight. He sits beside you and offers you a mug. The scent of coffee reaches your nose and you accept it, thanking him quietly. Aaron had taken his suit jacket off and loosened his tie. He stretches an arm around your shoulder and draws closer to you. He kisses the side of your face and stares out at the yard.

“It was a beautiful service,” he offers.

“Aaron, don’t.” You close your eyes and take a breath. You hold the coffee with both hands, rubbing your thumbs up and down the warm ceramic. “Please don’t make small talk with me about this like it’s all so fucking normal.”

He sighs and apologizes. “I just wish I could make all of your hurt go away.”

A shudder runs through you and you nestle in closer to him, taking a sip of your coffee as you do so. “I don’t think it’ll ever go away.”

•

Her brown eyes stare back at you, though the photo paper could never capture the light that flared within them when she was alive. Of all the faces you could have seen up on this wall, you’d never anticipated hers being one of them.

Every day you stop by her portrait on the wall of fallen heroes. People talk about her less and less around the office. The team doesn’t stop, though your conversations are stilted and often end in awkward silences; no one really knowing how to carry on once the conversation slows to a natural end. You speak often with Spencer about the ways in which you’ve been grieving, the sleepless nights and early mornings. Derek is reserved. He’s angry above anything else. He feels betrayed by Emily and a part of you understands that. She’d not told any of you after all. You’d be remiss if you’d not also spent some of your time grieving in anger. Of all the times you’d stayed late after work, gotten together to hang out on weekends, or gone out for drinks, she had never indicated anything was wrong. You had told her everything, confided every one of your fears and hopes into her and you’d thought that the street had been going both ways. God, you’d never been so wrong.

“Conference room in fifteen,” Aaron says as he walks past you, hand grazing your back as he does so.

You smile tightly and nod, glancing once more at Emily’s photo before making your way to your desk in the bullpen, ignoring the fact hers still sits empty and unoccupied beside yours. How has it been three months already?

•

“Emily!”

Your eyes dart around the room frantically searching as your heart thunders in your ears. You feel the organ pounding against your ribcage, threatening to break free of it. It only takes a second for you to realize it had been a dream.

Aaron rolls over and sits up, threading an arm around your back and rubbing your hip with his fingers. “Another nightmare?” he asks, words tinged with sleepiness.

You nod, yawning as you rub your eyes. The dreams are further apart, but at least every other week her face haunts your subconscious. You can’t help but wonder if it’s some sort of self-punishment as life goes on and the days get easier.

In reality, you don’t know if it’s easier or if you’ve just forced yourself to become numb to it all, compartmentalizing the pain of losing your best friend because if you didn’t you don’t think you’d be able to leave the house and do what you do day after day.

“Are the appointments with the therapist helping?” he asks.

Another question you don’t know the answer to. On some level, yes. Talking to someone who knows nothing about you or her or anyone else on the team is good. You don’t have to walk on eggshells, worried you're going to dig open a wound the others are equally fighting to heal by talking about her or how much you miss her or wish she was here. On another level, you don’t open up fully to the doctor. There are some layers of this injury you don’t want to see heal and scar over. If you do that, it’s like you’re telling Emily that you’re over her death, as if it’s something as easy as that, something you just get over. No, some things need to stay fresh, to serve as a reminder that Ian Doyle is still out there. The man who took your best friend away from you and your BAU family is breathing and she’s not. You clench your fists, the sheets balling up in your hands as your resentment burns deep inside you. Yes, that’s it, the idea of him walking around thinking he’s gotten away with this is enough to stoke the flames simmering deep inside you.

You take a deep breath, mentally imagining the flames subsiding, and they do. They dial down, but they don’t disappear. You glance down at Aaron, who snores softly beside you. His fingers still curl around your hip and a faint smile graces your lips. He tries, you know he does, but this is exhausting for everyone. He bears the brunt of it at the office. He fought to be the one to meet with the team and conduct the grief interviews, not wanting a stranger to come in and sift through your friends’ and colleagues’ pain over what happened. God knows how much bureaucratic red tape he had gotten tangled in right after the fact, the higher ups demanding how such a blunder could occur right under their noses. Aaron had put out the fires though, as he always did. Reaching around his back, you withdraw his hand from your hip and tuck it by his side, not before pressing a kiss to his knuckles.

You glance at the clock before lying back down. 4:15AM blinks back at you on the digital clock face. In forty five minutes the alarm will go off and it’ll be another day at the office. Settling down into the pillows, you press your back into Aaron’s body, yours molding against the planes of his as if it’s the most natural thing in the world.

His arms slinks around your waist and pulls you in as if you can get any closer than you already are. He tucks his chin over your shoulder and his lips brush against your jawline.

“I love you,” he whispers and you relax into the safety of his embrace.

“I love you, too, Aaron.”

•

Nights are hard when Aaron is gone. Pakistan is nine hours ahead and all Hotch has to communicate with anyone is a satellite phone, the number for which you don’t have access to. Whenever Hotch calls, the caller ID flashes the word ‘Unknown’ across your screen. There have been several times you’ve missed him due to being asleep or at work. Each call missed feels like being sucker punched. Every time you talk, a part of you worries it’ll be the last time. You didn’t use to have this fear, not until Emily. Despite staring death in the face on a week by week basis, most of the time playing Russian Roulette with the Grim Reaper himself in each unsub you cross paths with, somehow you never thought he’d actually take someone you love from you; that he’d take down one of the team. You never thought there’d be a last conversation with Emily, and now she’s dead.

Dead. The word is a heavy stone, sinking from the cusps of your mind to the pit of your stomach. It sits there, a persistent ache idling deep inside of you. It never relents and it never allows you to forget.

There are nights you dream that Aaron is dead too, that somewhere far away and beyond your control, he’s dying on the ground, bleeding out, and no one knows. You don’t even know what he’s working on and he can’t say; despite your relationship there are still levels in which Hotch’s clearance supersedes your own and the need-to-know red tape keeps you out. Afraid to close your eyes and dream of his unseeing, you stare at the blades of the ceiling fan whirling lazily overhead of the bed you usually share with him.

“I miss you,” you whisper to no one; and you don’t know who you’re talking to anymore.

•

“He’s back?” your heart flutters in your chest, equal parts excited and anxious at the prospect of Aaron’s sudden return. You push off your desk and swivel in your chair to stand, rushing down the hall and leaving Reid behind as you make your way hastily to the conference room.

The door is cracked and a gleeful sound eeks past your lips as his tall frame comes into view. You slip in before anyone else arrives and throw your arms around you. Inhaling deeply, his familiar teakwood scent envelopes you just as his arms do. You move to pull away, but his arms tighten around you.

“A second more,” he whispers, and there’s an edge to his voice.

You write it off to jet lag and sink into his embrace, though you notice how slight he feels against you. Finally, you pull back and cup his face in your hands. The scruff of his beard is prickly and you laugh as you take in his rugged appearance. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you with this much facial hair.” You swipe your thumbs over the hair on his lip and he tilts his head, kissing the inside of your hand. He closes his eyes and breathes in deeply before lifting them to meet yours. It's then you realize how tired he looks. The bags under his eyes are puffy and purple, almost as if they’re bruised. His forehead is creased, brow furrowed; definitely not how you pictured him upon reuniting.

“Aaron is everything ok—”

“I need you to know I would never hurt you,” he says quickly, interrupting you.

You purse your lips, brow pinching at the sudden admission. As your lips part to speak he directs a pointed look at you, the depths of his brown eyes wavering. “I love you,” his voice cracks, “so much.” He swallows, his throat bobbing as he does so. “Please remember that.”

There’s a hollow feeling in your gut, a chasm opening wide where every anxious and painful thought that you’ve tried to keep buried since he’s been gone begins to claw their way out as a thousand different outcomes play out in front of you. “Aaron, what’s going on?”

He doesn’t answer your question as the rest of the team trickles into the room, sitting at the round table or standing as suspense fills the space. It’s tangible. Everyone’s posture is rigid and tense in anticipation of whatever it is he has to say.

“Seven months ago I made a decision that impacted everyone on this team,” he begins, eyes firm.

Spencer shifts uncomfortably beside you. Rossi leans forward, fingers steepled under his chin.

“As you all know, Emily had lost a lot of blood,” Hotch continues and your ears prick at the sound of her name. Why would he bring her up? No less, her condition the day you all lost her. You all know this.

“…the doctor’s were able to stabilize her.”

Your lips part but no sound comes out as you raise your eyes to meet his. They meet yours for the briefest of seconds before flitting on to the others.The next words to leave his mouth sound far away, interrupted by the blood now pounding in your eardrums. “She stayed there until she was well enough to travel…given identities…”

There’s a lump in your throat and you feel as though you may choke on it. Air doesn’t seem to be able to bypass it and you have to remind yourself that you can breathe even though it feels like all the oxygen has vacated your lungs.

Penelope is the first to speak. “She’s alive?”

Spencer’s brow quirks as he tries to rationalize what’s being said to him. “We buried her.”

You did. You helped carry the casket. You felt the weight of her dead body and watched it sink into the earth. If that wasn’t her, what the fuck or who the fuck did you actually put in the ground?”

“As I said I take full responsibility for this decision,” Hotch continues, eyes downcast. “If anyone has any issues they should be directed towards me.”

The blood pounding in your ears is deafening. When Hotch looks up, you search his eyes and can’t help wondering if you know him at all. All of the nights you literally made yourself sick from crying and he held your hair back as you dry heaved over the toilet and your body spasmed from the grief of losing your best friend, he’d known that she was alive. For a moment, you think you may be sick right there at the round table at the thought of it all. Derek is speaking, his voice tight with anger but you don’t hear him. Heads turn and the hairs on the back of your neck prickle as a haunting feeling creeps up the back of your spine.

Turning around in your chair, everyone else stands but not you. If you do, you know your knees will buckle and fall out from under you. Spencer and Penelope are on their feet, moving briskly to greet the ghost of Emily.

Except she’s not a ghost. Her skin is not the cold blue-gray pallor of death, but pink and bright, the blood beneath her flesh very much pumping through a heart that’s beating. Her dark brown hair is sleek and shining, her bangs grown out and styled; her part now to the right. You watch her arms fold around Spencer and the way he squeezes her in turn. Penelope follows suit, tears streaming down her cheeks as she smiles widely. Derek stares on, features fixed in a cross between anger and shock. Emily approaches him with apprehension. An apology leaves her lips as she draws him in for a hug and his arms tentatively wrap around her. When she turns to you, your muscles tense. Those deep brown irises flicker back and forth across your face, searching for a reaction. You don’t give her one. Instead, you push past her, avoiding any and all physical contact with her, and dip out of the conference room.

You hear Garcia call your name and Derek shouts about having a case. You don’t care. You bypass your desk, not even bothering to get your purse. Your keys are hanging on a carabiner on your belt loop. Ignoring the elevator, you shove your way through the entrance to the stairs and move down them so quickly you’re surprised you don’t lose your footing and tumble down them. Down and around you go, your footsteps echoing as your heart slams against your ribcage. You slap your badge against the keypad that lets you exit the building, ignoring the greeting from the security guard at the front. As you push through the front doors of the office building, you barely make it to the bushes before you fall to your knees and retch.

•

A car door slams followed by the double beep which locks them. You close your eyes and inhale deeply as you prepare to face him, hands clenching around the sweater you were packing. A tear slips free from your eye as you breathe out and look toward the ceiling, as if the answers to why all of this had to happen are written up there. This is not how your reunion is supposed to be. You’d pictured his homecoming for weeks; thought about the outfit you’d wear to dinner and the lingerie you’d bought to wear just for him when you both got home, opened a bottle of wine, and made up for all of the time lost while he was away. That is how tonight is supposed to go.

Now you’re leaving, and you don’t know if you’ll be coming back.

The lock on the front door jiggles before the gears click into place. It squeaks on its hinges as it swings open. Five beeps follow and you can picture his fingers pressing against each button on the alarm system. His keys clatter as he drops them on the table. As his footsteps edge closer to your bedroom, you count each one. The sound that usually means safety and security, now sends a shiver of anxiety throughout your body.

He appears in the doorway, eyes rife with exhaustion and the bags beneath them puffy and swollen. His cheeks are flushed and his nose is pink, as if he’d been crying. Maybe he had been, god knows you had. His eyes flit between you and the bag you’re packing. His lips part and a small sound of desperation slips past them.

“Baby, please—”

You hold up a hand, curling your fingers into a fist. Your lip curls as you speak. “Don’t,” you breathe. You swallow the lump that quickly forms in your throat as you drop your hand, zipping the bag shut.

The inner corners of his brow draw upward and you can hardly stand to look into his pleading gaze.

“You have to understand—”

“Understand, what? Aaron?” You ask sharply, struggling to hold back the thick hot tears pricking the backs of your eyes.

He places a hand on his hip, fingers tucking back the fold of his unbuttoned shirt as his thumb hooks into his belt; a gesture you’re all too familiar with as he does the same thing with all of his suits. His other hand rises to pinch the bridge of his nose. He pauses, inhaling as he tries to find the words. After a moment, he scrubs a hand over his face and turns his gaze to yours.

“I wanted to tell you so badly,” he says. When he looks at you there are tears in his eyes. “I hated myself, watching the agony this decision put you and the team through. I wanted to tell you and take away your hurt, but I couldn’t. It wouldn’t have been fair to the team. Just because you’re my girlfriend, I can’t—” He turns his hand and slams his hand against the doorframe causing you to flinch. “Dammit!”

Your voice is soft, but sure when you speak. “You can’t bend the rules.”

It’s what you’ve always worried about, both of you. You always knew the job could come first, especially with him being the Unit Chief. You always understood that that meant no preferential treatment and that is something you never would’ve asked him to do. You just never anticipated it happening like this, a complete and total life altering mind fuck.

Aaron drops his hand and it slaps against his thigh in defeat as it falls to his side. “What was I supposed to do?”

You cross your arms over your chest, fingers curling over your biceps to try and still your shaking hair. You hang your head and a curtain of hair falls across your face, “I don’t know, Aaron.”

He kicks off the doorway, moving towards you with his hands outstretched. It happens without thinking, the way you flinch away. Pain flashes in his eyes and you feel as though you’ve been punched in the stomach the way it’s suddenly hard to breathe.

His hip is close to yours, his body angled away from you. You can feel the weight of his gaze on your shoulder as he looks down. “Don’t do this,” he whispers.

Your lip quivers, chin wobbling in response to the tears you’re trying so desperately to hold back. “I have vacation I’d been saving.” You pick up your bag and throw it over your shoulder, not daring to look up at him because you know if you do you’ll shatter into a thousand shards of glass at his feet.

As you move toward the door, you pause. For a split second, you entertain the thought of dropping your bag, running across the room he’d chased you around so many times before, and throwing yourself around him. You consider all the things you want to say and scream and cry about; all of your anger, sadness, betrayal, grief, and love. You crave him so terribly in that moment because his have always been the arms you’ve run to when things become too much to bear.

Instead, your chin dips toward your shoulder as you speak, but you don’t raise your eyes to meet his. If you do, you don’t think you’ll be able to leave. “My gun and badge are in the safe.”

As you make your way down the hallway, you have to bite your knuckles to stifle a sob just as you hear one leave his lips from the bedroom.

You don’t turn back.

[calp0sa]

Favorite Headcanons for airy?

i have like 10 million headcanons for him but i’ll list as many as i can from the top of my head

-hes autistic LIKE ME!!! and is specifically very autistic about music (like meee) i like to think he had a huge collection of vinyls cds cassettes etc and its all stuff from the 60s to the early 90s. no doubt he had a bunch of posters for his favorite bands and musicians too. and hes awesome on the guitar, great rhythm guitarist… its a shame he couldn’t make his talent a profession like he once dreamed of doing. oh well, at least the number 1 perk of trucking is that its peaceful and you dont really have to interact with many people! plus trucks have radios, and cd players, so airy would often bring along a few albums to listen to as he drove those long days and nights.

-hes also got a knack for aquatic creatures (LIKE ME) of course, being a literal fish monster himself (cool fact my airy design is like actually a fish monster he can breathe underwater and everything and his limbs are covered in fish scales) airy loves fish both as friends and food. hes particularly fond of freshwater fish, which makes sense considering the fact he grew up around the swamps of louisiana (yes im making him louisianan Like Me shaddap) hes also fond of those fucked up looking deep sea creatures, just so fascinating. i think airy liked to do a little fishing in his spare time. And hes awesome at cooking em but fair warning for those with a low spice tolerance��� he loves spicy food btw (like meeeee)

-when airy was in the forest, he kept a log of his thoughts on the computer, in an attempt to hopefully give himself whatever clarity he could. the notes ranged from all brief, to desperate, to hopeless, to spiraling, to borderline dadaist poetry? to insanity, to denial, to whatever, really i think his mind was obviously all over the place on a daily basis. things must have been pretty loud for him, that cassette player was probably one of the only things keeping him together, before he numbed himself n all, which is around the time he ceased writing these notes as he saw no point in doing so.

-ok enough about him suffering we’ll get back to that later Airy’s favorite drink is ginger ale i mean look at that guy and tell me he doesnt fw ginger ale or dr pepper are you kidding me. he can have dr pepper as a little treat (too much soda is bad for anyone especially if youre an old feller like airy) speaking of little treats i like to think he has an insatiable sweet tooth LIKE MEEEE and his favorite treaaats are pumpkin pie, macarons and practically anything chocolate he loves chocolate (im like allergic to not projecting onto my favorite characters if you couldnt tell) maybe airy knows how to bake a little bit i mean he is an object show host after all

-this is oddly specific but airy is a chronic pain warrior #JUSTLIKEME so when he was in the forest he’d make like home made heating pads by wetting a glob of moss and putting it against his face while he had his flame on (he sometimes put it on a plank over a bonfire if he felt like it) this was a bit tricky when he broke his face but im sure he managed he always manages (kinda) (relatively speaking)

-well anyway we’re back to the forest and i just mentioned his broken face So you know how he disappeared for seven months after he did that lol well what if it was because the pain and shock from that incident evoked the long lost clarity he’d been so stubbornly avoiding in order to cling on to his meaningless, fallacious escapism which triggered him and sent him into a state of agonizing self consciousness, reminding him of his earthly death, how he used to be Someone, and how he essentially let himself rot into what is now an empty shell of who he once was. after so many years, the first reflection he saw of himself was seen in something broken; shards of glass, of which he couldn’t stand to look at… as there is nothing comparable to the pain of revelation, the burden of truth after having been so lost and festered into the stagnant waters that surround you. he felt he had no choice, he disposed of the shards into the nearby stream. those seven months were not just a matter of physically healing, but as a means to losing himself all over again.

-Aaaanyway i think airy had a cat at some point in his life i think we can all agree hes a cat person right!!! he had a tortoiseshell kitty named goose and he loved her very much. idk why he named her goose he probably just thought it was funny to name an animal after a different animal.

-OH YEAH lemme bring amelia into this listen i am such a huge fan of the theory of airy being related to amelia so i like to think hes her uncle!! when amelia was little she’d stay over at airy’s house while her parents were away and he’d teach her stuff like how to fish, how to ward off snakes, how to kayak, all that jazz cuz he was an awesome uncle. she was kinda like an actual daughter to him. and amelia was so fond of sunny weather as a child, one dayy at airy’s house she had to stay inside because it was too rainy, so she occupied herself by drawing a little picture of the way she wished earth was; always sunny, sky always blue, grass always green, huh! the way she drew that grass as individual little triangles is all too familiar is it not…

OK I HAVE SOMEWHERE 2 GO now i’ll probablt add more later But thank u so much for asking this i love love love infodumping about anything airy related i heart airy

[goodolddumbbanana]

I just rewatched the episode WHAT IF SOLAR ALIVE IN VRCHAT and I just realised something.

When Solar died, Nexus got breakdown but he got back pretty quickly to fix things. He still holds the hope that he can bring Solar back, and work himself to the bones to make that happen. It hurts him, but he is particularly 'moved on', got back on his feet to find some way to get Solar back.

But in the dream when Sun died, according to what Solar said, Nexus did nothing. He is just laying on the floor, being useless, day by day, just like how Moon's Solar didn't do anything since when Sun's Solar died. He supposed with that intelligence, he will come up with something to revive Sun, Right?

But in Nexus's dream, losing Sun has broken him to the point when he is unconscious to everything. He didn't do anything, and Solar is the one who handles anything.

That's when I realised, when Solar died, Moon still has Sun. Sun cooked for him, got him to bed, stayed with him and hugged him until he fell asleep. Sun did everything to cheer him up, and the only one whom Nexus talked to and almost spilled out the beans before the 'crazy arc' happened.

And when Sun died in Nexus's dream, Solar couldn't fulfill Sun's role.

Sun is literally the light, the emotional support for Nexus, the I am here that helps Nexus cling to reality.

Because Nexus was obsessed with how he is the only one who can fix things, right?

Sun is the one who always needs his help, the one who always sticks by his side no matter what happens, the one who always waits for him at home.

If Solar is the one who he hangs out with, the friend he loves to tag along, the partners in crime if you per say, then Sun is home.

He never can feel useless when he is with the Sun.

That is the reason why in the dream, Nexus breakdown and couldn't distinguish realities and dream anymore.

Because he loves Solar, sure, like a brother, Solar is his besties but Solar is not his home. Solar doesn't know how to comfort him, doesn't know how to ease Nexus like Sun does.. Solar is just like Nexus, he only knows how to fix things, but Sun is gone, and what is the point of fixing anymore if the only one that makes his world meaningful is disappearing.

Some small parts are when Nexus feels he needs to check on Sun because Sun rarely accompanied him anymore. (The addiction to wine thing)

Why? If he was so obsessed with hanging with Solar, why did he need to do that?

Because part of him scares that Sun doesn't need him anymore, that Sun is splitting away from him. That is why he checked on Sun, to know for sure that Sun still needs him, and he still can fix things, fix Sun.

Sun is not only his brother, he is his Big brother, his anchor to prove that, he is still needed.

And when he becomes Nexus, that consciousness Sun always needs his help twisted to become Sun used him, Sun abandoned him.

He is self conscious thinking because he can fix things that are the whole of his values.

And he is so loved when Sun needs his help, (to prove he is better than Moon, to prove that he has someone stay by his side) but now, that feels dirty, like he was used.

That is also the reason why when Nexus kidnap Sun it feels empty. Because Sun is still his big brother, and Nexus still holds a lot of conflict emotions towards Sun, no matter what he said. It is like the rebel son coming home from his drunken party and yelling at his mother but still couldn't add the actually cruel words.

Because he hates Sun, but he still wants him. He is just a sad sad boy who thinks being a God would fix some hole in his chest but in reality, just the word I am sorry will take him back home.

I wonder if Nexus is seriously wounded and Sun gives up everything to run back to Nexus and try to help him. And they will talk and say sorry

[alldoll3dup]

hello can i pretty please request dating john dory headcanons? i am kissing him as we speak

▐ I was itching to do a John Dory headcanon, thank you very much

໑୧﹒★﹒John Dory x FEM!Reader - Headcanon's ᰍ﹒∿

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲 - Headcanon's of our dear JD as your boyfriend

𝐟𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐨𝐦 - Trolls

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 - Fluff

- This little guy will do anything for you, literally anything

- Do you want the moon? John already brought her to you

- He is very affectionate and loves physical touch (he was alone for years so it is very important to him)

- Hands on your waist, kisses on your neck, being randomly carried are things you're already used to

- And of course he expects you to reciprocate, give him surprise kisses, sit on his lap at random moments, any slightest contact will make him literally melt

- He LOVES being between your thighs if he made a ranking of places he likes to be it would be like this

1- By my girlfriend's side

2- Between my girlfriend's thighs With my brothers

3- Between my girlfriend's thighs

- He scribbled because he was afraid of hurting his brothers feelings

- He is very dirty sometimes, if you don't say anything he will go days without taking a shower (not always because he wants to, but because he forgets)

- He is jealous and doesn't like you paying too much attention to other trolls

- If he thinks you're paying too much attention to someone, he'll just put you on his shoulder and take you away

"Dory! I haven't finished talking yet"

"I think you already finished"

- He loves when you get along with his brothers, he thinks it's cute

- When you sleep together he practically crushes you, he's thrown all over you and you can't even move

- He loves being in control of the situation, if you need help with anything he is ready to help

- If you don't reach something that is too high, John will just carry you

"Thank you Dory"

"No problem sweetheart"

- He loves giving you cute nicknames, like sweetie, pumpkin, love of my life

- Everything you ask Dory does, he is always ready to please you

- Don't stay away from him for too long, he'll be super worried

- Did you leave and said you would come back two hours later but it took you a minute longer? John is already putting up missing person posters

- And when you come back he will cling to you saying how much he missed you

"Babyyy, I missed you so much! Dont scare me like that again"

"But it was only one minute"

"It seemed like an eternity"

- Knows everything you like, favorite flowers, the perfume you use most use EVERYTHING

- His heart melts when you praise him

- Your perfect voice being used to praise him is the best thing that he could ever ask

- He is very silly sometimes, he can be a manchild but in serious moments he is so responsible

- Super clingy like extremely

- He has the best hugs, when he hugs you, you forget the rest

- You always dance together, especially brozone's songs

- When you said you listened to brozone and that he was your favorite he literally cried

- You steal all his shirts, after all, what's his is yours and what's yours is his

- He loves cooking with you, he makes a lot of mess so you told him to just stay still and cling to you and that's what he did

"Are it ready now?" - he said with his hands on your waist, his tail intertwined with your legs and his face resting on the curve of your neck

"It's almost ready Dory" - all you hear is silly giggles and little compliments

- He makes it very explicit to everyone that he has a girlfriend

- What else can I say? He loves you SO MUCH

▐ I hope y'all liked this silly little passionate

▐ Sorry if there are any grammatical errors love you guys ♡

★ REQUESTS ARE OPEN ★

[relicsongmel]

Something I've always found fascinating about Raymond Shields is that despite seemingly having altruistic reasons for being a defense attorney, his reasons for trying to convince Miles to be one are anything but.

It seems understandable enough on the surface. After Ray comes around and agrees to work with Miles in The Imprisoned Turnabout, he sees remnants of Gregory shining through him despite von Karma's influence. Whether or not he recognizes that Miles' decision to become a prosecutor wasn't just born from that alone—that it was in tandem with wanting to distance himself from anything that reminded him of his father to alleviate the burden on his heart—is up for debate, but regardless: he acknowledges Miles as Gregory's son through and through and wants to capitalize on his dedication for pursuing justice in a way that he knows would make his father proud. He wants to let Miles in on the life he was robbed of at 9 years old—the life he once dreamed of living, where he follows in the footsteps of his father by giving everything he has to save people, by fighting like hell for the vulnerable and the condemned.

That said, as much as Ray dresses up his proposition by making it out to be as if he's looking out for Miles' best interests (and the best interests of society, even)...his motives for trying to get Miles to switch sides are almost entirely selfish. Ray's efforts (and most of his actions in general, really) are ultimately a product of his desperate attempt to cling on to anything related to Gregory out of an inability to move on from his death. Wearing his hat and coat, leaving the name of his office unchanged...and now, requesting that his son literally change jobs just because he can't bear the weight of his own loneliness anymore. Because he can't bear to think that the damage done by DL-6 is irreversible and Miles has moved on while he has stagnated for the past 17 years. Because he has an idealized vision of what he thinks Gregory would want and fails to realize that his son's occupation wouldn't matter to him as long as it brings him happiness and fulfillment. In his mind, letting Miles go means accepting the circumstances that brought him where he is and allowing both of them to move on. And that terrifies him.

It's even more deceitful when you realize that Ray's pitch comes at a very opportune time for Miles given his circumstances at that point: that is, he's under threat of investigation for prosecutorial misconduct and at risk of being stripped of his badge. Ray might fake incompetence, but he's not stupid—and he takes full advantage of Justine's warnings to try to sway Miles when he's in a more vulnerable position in terms of his job. Which is...pretty fucked up, to put it lightly. Despite having a better idea of where he came from compared to most people, through this Ray shows a lack of understanding of who Miles truly is and a lack of respect for what he's come to value, even if his path toward obtaining those values had some bumps along the road. But he's so blinded by his grief that he doesn't even stop to consider how much he's really asking of him, or what Miles is really searching for.

Ray was moved by Gregory. He values saving people. Defending the weak is an undeniably noble endeavor. But to ask that of someone else without consideration for their best interests is decidedly less so.

For all his occupation requires a certain selflessness, Raymond Shields is far more selfish than he lets on. And I for one find that contradiction fascinating to unpack.

[esmedelacroix]

15 days til' Christmas

planning to surprise husband!miguel o'hara with the best gift ever⋆꙳•̩̩͙❅̩̩͙‧͙ ‧͙̩̩͙❆ ͙͛ ˚₊⋆

--------------------------------------------------------

If there was one thing about Miguel that confused you it was what gift to get him for Christmas. You were always buying things that made you think of him or clothes that he would look handsome in(he looks good in literally everything).

But you couldn't help but feel like it wasn't enough. You couldn't help but feel like you needed more. You wanted to give him a gift that was tear-wrenching.

You thought that you would never get the opportunity to give Miguel the gift you thought he deserved. Until that opportunity presented itself in a certain two-lined symbol on a white stick you had peed on.

Right then you knew exactly what his gift would be this year. The only issue was that you had to keep this secret until Christmas which was in a whole week. But, you couldn't keep anything from Miguel for the life of you. What was worse is that he was incredibly perceptive and always knew when something was different.

You were already two months along and you never realized that you were extremely behind on your period until your period tracking app pointed out that you stopped getting your period after you logged unprotected sex during your fertile window.

You and Miguel were dating for three years before you got married and your second marriage anniversary was coming up. You weren't really trying for kids but the two of you didn't mind if you were to have one. You talked about it and you both felt ready so you started being more carefree about protection every now and then.

Miguel was used to taking three days off of work once a month to help you through your abnormally painful period cramps. He was so busy that hadn't realized you hadn't gotten your period.

You quickly got a long box and placed the pregnancy test in it before wrapping it up and putting it under the tree. There were already tons of gifts under the tree so it didn't seem weird at all.

You cleaned up your mess and right when you checked your watch you realized that it was seven o'clock. Miguel should be arriving any minute by now-

"Honey! I'm home!" you heard Miguel call out from the mud room. You could hear the noises of some bags indicative that he went grocery shopping like you had asked.

You rushed to the entrance and gave Miguel a big hug. You'd been missing him all day and it was taking every fiber in your body to not just tell him the great news right then and there.

"Woah amor, did you miss me that much?" he chuckled as he walked down the hall with you clinging to him.

You sat on the counter taking groceries out of bags as he put them away listening to him rant about how things were going at work. Most people wouldn't be very fond of listening to someone ramble about work for 30 minutes straight but Miguel wasn't a rambler he was a storyteller.

If he was going to tell you about his day, trust he would talk about it in a way that made it intriguing. He often made you laugh when he told you about some of the harmless silly rumors floating around at the office.

One thing that his fellow spiders other than Peter B would never know was that he enjoyed observing and gossiping about who was dating and who wasn't at Spider Society knowing that it was absolutely not his business.

The two of you thought yourselves to be cupids and would talk about what couple desperately needed to break up or who should be dating whom.

"Cariño I have a question..." Miguel started interrupting you laughing at his joke about who he thought Hobie should date.

"Yeah? What is it?" you asked in a more serious tone.

"Why haven't you gotten your period yet?" he asked.

Shit. Shit shit shit shit. You cursed to yourself trying to think of an answer.

"Well my period tracking app told me that it's because of my increased amount of weight training recently, it happened to me when I was 14 as well I lost my period for like half a year then," you explained.

"Huh, you never told me you've been going to the gym, you usually just run in the mornings," he said, accepting your answer. It almost hurt lying to him about this because he had so much trust in you that he believed everything you said.

"My practice closes at five now, remember? So I have a lot more time," you said.

"Oh I see," he said as he took out ingredients to make dinner.

He didn't really talk about it for the rest of the night and everything went smoothly but as you lay in bed that night in his arms you couldn't help but worry. What if you're not able to keep this up and the gift is ruined? All should be fine though besides you only have to keep from him for the next 7 days.

. . .

next part → 7 days til' Christmas

--------------------------------------------------------

taglist: @aripet22@to-the-endoftheline

[classickook]

könig headcanons

a/n: i have absolutely zero knowledge of this game but he’s my special little guy, i couldn’t help myself.

next >>

- he’s definitely the type who pays super close attention when you’re talking and will encourage you to keep going even if everyone else tunes you out or if they talk over you

- he is SO attentive of everything in general but especially everything you do. since he’s pretty quiet and shy, he stays in the background and just observes everyone and finds himself focusing more on you, picking up little details that no one else would really notice

- like he knows what your nervous tics are and what books you tend to read in your spare time and where you grew up

- could recognize your voice anywhere! his eyes literally light up when he hears you coming around the corner :)

- loves it when you lift his hood enough to playfully nip at his chin or when you sneak under it completely while giggling and kissing him all over his face

- also loves nose kisses <3

- blushes easily

- anytime you look up at him, he has stars in his eyes and feels his heart stop a bit and he for sure is blushing under that hood because he’s completely head over heels for you and can’t believe you feel the same

- gives the best hugs!!!!!!!!

- his love language is definitely physical touch okay don’t fight me on this (also gift giving but we’ll get to that later)

- like just imagine that giant mountain of a man with the sweetest heart holding your hand (or linking fingers omg!!!) or lightly touching your shoulder or waist when he walks by <333

- he obviously has social anxiety but once he’s comfortable with you, he will 10000% turn to you for reassurance or comfort by just touch alone

- also… since he’s so freaking huge, imagine clinging to him like a koala and he just casually walks about with you wrapped around him

- this guys strikes me as ticklish idk why but let’s go with it

- imagine cuddling with him (how the two of you manage to fit into one cot i have no idea) and your hair brushes against the sensitive skin along his neck or you rest your hand on his abdomen and chest and he just gets kinda giggly all of a sudden

- has nightmares a lot :(

- he feels pretty awkward about it and apologizes for waking you up and starts to roll over in bed but you immediately comfort him and wrap your arms around him and distract him with random facts or hobbies you want to try, anything that’ll get his mind off of the bad dream

- you usually make him hot chocolate after a nightmare so the two of you curl up in bed, sipping on the sweet drink while asking him questions about his hometown until he’s smiling again

- on that note… he definitely has a sweet tooth

- you’ll bake him all sorts of sweets and try out new recipes and he’s like a little puppy that follows you around the kitchen or sits at the table and offers to help you or lick the spoon or something, he’s so cute <3

- he’s a people pleaser for sure so he would literally do anything for you

- this guy radiates sunshine/golden retriever bf vibes but would absolutely lose his shit if something bad happened to you or if he found you hurt/crying

- can go from 0 to 100 real quick

- back to the topic of gift giving!!! he always picks fresh flowers for you when he’s out and about, like he’ll make it his mission to scout out fields or little markets to get something nice for you

- also, he sketches a lot ! so he’ll oftentimes gift you with his drawings, like just leaving them on your cot or tucking them in the mirror or somewhere you’ll find them during the day to cheer you up

- overall, könig is a total sweetheart and i want to hug him immediately !!

[rs8ndead]

❛ addicted ❜ ⸻ dating Trevor Philips

── ﹙ 𝜗𝜚 ‧₊˚ MASTERLIST&INFO.﹚. ☆

→﹐ 𓏵﹒ SUMMARY.﹒⟢ ⸻ Trevor as a boyfriend. 🤗🤗

→﹐ 𓏵﹒ PAIRING.﹒⟢ ⸻ trevor philips x gn/gender neutral! reader.

→﹐ 𓏵﹒ A/N.﹒⟢ ⸻ EEEEEEEK first headcanons post of one of my TOP hyperfixations HOORAY ໒꒰ྀིっ˕ -｡꒱ྀི১ I love characters like Trevor,,,, like characters who are stinky and or crime lords :3 so fun to write because they’re just MAD crazy 🎀🎀 he’s also so easy to write to because I made a original character BASED off of Trevor and to ship with Trevor, I really wanna write like fanfiction of the two together but I’m not sure if anybody will like… like it or anything 💔💔😓 ( I hope I’m writing Trevor right, I’d freak out if I weren’t writing one of my favorite comfort characters correctly )

→﹐ 𓏵﹒ TAGLIST﹒⟢ ⸻ none 💔 pls let me know if you guys wanna be in my taglist for everything that I write or for something specific :33

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ﹙©rs8ndead﹚

→﹐ 𓏵﹒ TAGLIST﹒⟢ ⸻ none 💔 pls let me know if you guys wanna be in my taglist for everything that I write or for something specific :33

🩸  ⸺  the most clingiest man ever. From clinging onto your waist if not constantly when you guys are alone, to following you around everywhere you go and holding onto your hand as if he were some body guard, being nosy and peeping himself into your business ( example: phone call ), intrusive staring towards you, sniffing them without context or warning at all, invading personal space ( he has no sense of it ), constant and constant communication, overwhelming relentless and continuous affection, regular rambling and blabbering about how much he loves you and that he would literally do anything for you ( committing crimes such as robbery, credit card fraud, murder, arson, etc etc THE LIST GOES ONNNNN ), no he will not stop any of his suffocating and overwhelming actions until you probably like communicate out your boundaries with him. He grew up with a horrible childhood, he’s not really socially aware of how creepy he can be when he starts to date somebody. It’s very obvious that he’s got an emotional attachment to you.

୨୧ ᵎᵎ ﹐﹒⟡﹒

🩸  ⸺  despite his history of hooking up with other woman and his chaotic mess of a personality, Trevor truly feels there is a bond with you and him and that there’s actual chemistry, instead of just sex and splitting ways after wards. He loves you so very deeply and isn’t afraid to show you that he loves you, at all.

୨୧ ᵎᵎ ﹐﹒⟡﹒

🩸  ⸺  Trevor is all putty when it comes to you, like a baby kitten. He’s your lil meow meow for real, ESPECIALLY when you give him any form of affection.

୨୧ ᵎᵎ ﹐﹒⟡﹒

🩸  ⸺  takes you out on shopping sprees constantly whenever he can if you’ve got a hobby for shopping ( and yes of course, it’s allllll from Michael’s credit card, in which good ol’ Trev somehow managed to steal from him ) and constantly commits credit card fraud just so he can see you happy, if you TRY to persist he will just say something along the lines of: “sugar tits, no no no… let me spoil you.” And no, he will not take a no for an answer, he’ll even go as far as hiding your form of payment ( cash, credit, debit ) in a place where he knows you won’t find it, because he’s not letting you buy anything for yourself, at all. He’s paying for you, one way or another and he loves you and doesn’t want you to pay for yourself when you’ve got him. It’s a fifty / fifty relationship, he buys you stuff and other needs for you, and you just let him do that for you.

୨୧ ᵎᵎ ﹐﹒⟡﹒

🩸  ⸺  if this man had good grammar AND could write ( because we all know, he cannot write for SHIT. ) you’d be getting those long ass love sappy letters, but IF you were a writer and you did that for him he would be all confused and asking you “huh what’s this say” and then be all a putty, crying even more clingy mess all over you and sobbing that he didn’t deserve you.

୨୧ ᵎᵎ ﹐﹒⟡﹒

🩸  ⸺  before he started to officially date you, he definitely asked Michael ( and probably Wade, Ron, Franklin, and everybody who he knows but mostly Michael before he tells to shut the fuck up when he hears something he doesn’t like ) for relationship advice, and no he did not listen to Michael about ‘taking it slow’ and along with ‘don’t say I love you to quick’, because Trevor definitely most likely said those words ‘I love you’ when he meets you because he is SO IN LOVE with you it surpasses everything practically, he’s to dumb for relationship rules.

୨୧ ᵎᵎ ﹐﹒⟡﹒

🩸  ⸺  it’s quite obvious that he’s got an emotional attachment to you. You know that erotic Calendar and those also erotic photos of women in their bikinis that are on the walls of his trailer?? Yeah, he took it down and just replaced it with photos of you.( one of the advices that he listened to from Michael )

୨୧ ᵎᵎ ﹐﹒⟡﹒

🩸  ⸺  he loves like a puppy, constantly all over you as he’s practically and literally your number one hype man, complimenting you and being all desperate for you and crushing on you even though you and him are both dating. He worships you to the point where its concerning.

୨୧ ᵎᵎ ﹐﹒⟡﹒

🩸  ⸺  the type of guy to gift you rocks he thinks you’d find cool that he would find on sandy shores whenever he’s spending time away from you ( he hopes you find the rocks he gifts you cool; otherwise he’d be disappointed in himself )

୨୧ ᵎᵎ ﹐﹒⟡﹒

🩸  ⸺  literally the dream boyfriend. I don’t CAREEEEEEE he’s the dream boyfriend.

[atomicradiogirl]

The Best House MD Scene

"You'd be surprised what you can live with."

In season 2, episode 6 of House MD “Spin” written by Sara Hess, there is a scene that I consider to be one of the best, if not the best, scenes of House. In the scene, Cameron is talking to Wilson alone in House’s office about how she cheated on her dying husband with his best friend while he was in the hospital. A conversation that is related to Wilson’s adulterous behavior and plethora of divorces. To relate to her story, Wilson tells Cameron that his relationship with his second wife, Bonnie, ended not because she was sick and he needed someone to cling to, but because he met someone that made him feel funny and good and he didn’t want to let that feeling go. Cameron looks at him in understanding. Wilson goes on to say that Cameron isn’t to blame for cheating on her husband since she couldn’t control her emotions, to which Cameron replies “No, just my actions.” When Wilson realizes that she didn’t sleep with him. Cameron says that she couldn’t live with herself if she did. Wilson gives a devilish smile in response, a silence that speaks volumes, and says, “You’d be surprised what you can live with,” and leaves the office.

This scene is so impactful, not because of any angst or emotional weight but because of the parallel and implications of this scene. Cameron and Wilson are characters who both interact but don’t really have a close relationship. This is one of the only instances where they seem to have a genuine emotional understanding of each other. There is also a very strong parallel between them, as they are both emotional and caring people who thrive on being needed by others. But most importantly, they both love broken people and the ultimate broken person, House. Cameron is still grappling with her feelings for House and the lack of gendered language used by Wilson as well as the general knowledge that there is no one else he could possibly be talking about, along with the fact that this conversation is literally happening in House’s office, solidly proves that this “mystery person” Wilson is talking about is House. “You’d be surprised what you can live with” might not necessarily mean that he slept with House, but it definitely confirms that there was at least a level of emotional cheating on his ex-wife with him. Something that is actually proven as the reason his second marriage with Bonnie ended. His being too devoted to helping House after his infarction was a primary reason. House making Wilson feel “funny” could be a way of Wilson saying he fell in love with House, or maybe House just made him feel needed in a way that Wilson couldn’t resist. 

Regardless of how you read between the lines, the implication here is clear. Both Cameron and Wilson love House, and both of them are bonding in this scene over not having control over their emotions, especially over House. To me, “You’d be surprised what you can live with” is Wilson saying he can live with his feelings for House and he can live with knowing that he would do anything for him as well as a general acceptance that he could live with emotionally or physically cheating on his ex-wife with House. Cameron says nothing to this statement, and there is no follow-up to this conversation in the rest of the episode or the show. But it alone sets up an understanding in the audience of why Cameron cheated on her husband as well as why Wilson drops everything for House at any whim. It isn’t confirmed until 6 seasons later, but this is the start of the many cleverly placed obvious hints that Wilson loves House, despite his feelings being deeply repressed and seemingly unreciprocated for the majority of the show or throughout their relationship that we, the audience get to see. This scene stands out as a rare moment of cross-character connections that we don’t often get to see in House. From side characters. Yes, it is about House and what he means to both of them, but it delves into the shared inner experiences of these two characters, whom we get pieces of understanding throughout the show. This scene is my favorite scene of House, and while it might not be the most flashy or cinematic, it is the pure example of the show’s outstanding writing. 

[seneon]

omgomgomg.. blue lock 11 and their love languages in your opinion...

blue lock eleven and their love languages.

about. gender neutral! reader. contains fluff and crack.

notes. i'm not sure if the author of blue lock has ever mentioned their love languages before but i do know that he noted some of their kinks before 😧

YOICHI ISAGI — QUALITY TIME / WORDS OF AFFIRMATION

isagi would be the type to make time for you even if he's busy. he'd just cram his schedule or straightaway ditch them just for you. he also likes to affirm his s/o despite having a foul mouth 💀 but hey, you get a mouth that can affirm and destroy so yeah...

MEGURU BACHIRA — PHYSICAL TOUCH

bachira won't stop clinging onto you and will literally follow you everywhere you go. you find it cute though, but when he sensed even a single discomfort, he would stop following you around. of course, you can never forget hours of cuddles with bachira!! he loves holding your hands too.

HYOMA CHIGIRI — GIFT GIVING

chigiri knows all the best products that his s/o likes because of his sister. but he would literally go all out just to buy the skincare products, books, drinks, whatever, that you want just to keep you happy. chigiri is the type to spoil his s/o and himself too.

SEISHIRO NAGI — PHYSICAL TOUCH

nagi is quite the lazy person and reo pretty much does everything for him so he'd probably be the one who's also really clingy to you. except his clinging is putting his entire body on you thinking you're huge enough like reo to carry him or something. jokes aside— he's the type of guy who loves hugging you from behind.

RIN ITOSHI — ACTS OF SERVICE / GIFT GIVING

rin's love language is most likely acts of service to show you how much he cares for you despite him having little to no time for you on his hands. he'll give you the princess treatment along with giving you gifts that he handmade himself since he's not that fond of spending that much money. he'll try his best to make you happy tho.

SHOEI BARO — ACTS OF SERVICE

baro is definitely going to cook, clean, service you and everything else. i mean, it's BARO... he's not gonna let you do anything but let you sit, relax and enjoy while he does all the work for you. it's just his way of showing how much he cares for you and he wouldn't want you to sweat or waste your energy.

REO MIKAGE — ALL FIVE LOVE LANGUAGES

reo is all in one. bros the whole package. he can shower you with sweet and loving words of affirmation, buy you a shit ton of gifts, treat you like a princess, cancel everything in his schedule just for you and hold your hands a lot. he also likes to kiss your hand. it makes him feel like a gentleman.

JYUBEI ARYU — QUALITY TIME

aryu would love spending his time with his s/o. you guys would do your mani and pedi together or go to beauty salons together. it's just going to be a wholesome thing with aryu. he loves to spend time with whoever he fell in love with and proclaims the most beautiful.

TABITO KARASU — PHYSICAL TOUCH

karasu always needs some type of touch to keep him going and alive. so he likes to wrap his arms around you and keep kissing your face everywhere. be careful though, he might overdo it and get too into it.

EITA OTOYA — PHYSICAL TOUCH / WORDS OF AFFIRMATION

otoya just takes physical touch differently and makes his own changes of rules for words of affirmation. he's always being seductive with you and just likes to randomly whisper sweet words into your ears whenever he's bored. idk but i think quality time too..

KENYU YUKIMIYA — QUALITY TIME / GIFT GIVING

yukimiya is a model right? he rarely has time for you. however, when he does have time, he'll spend every single minute of it with you— going on dates, just hanging out, vice versa. when he doesn't have time however, he tells someone from his modelling agency to buy you some gifts and sends them straight to your doorstep.

GIN GAGAMARU — ACTS OF SERVICE

gagamaru tries his hardest to make you happy with his love language. since he doesn't really know much about romance, he occasionally asks you questions about this and that, taking notes of your preferences then he'll service you with you perfect preference. like coffee, or your type of environment.

YŌ HIORI — WORDS OF AFFIRMATION

hiori is sort of, in a way, good with words. he might not do much, but his voice is enough for you. you love hearing him talk. when you told him about it, he never stopped talking and giving you comforting words that would never fail to make you feel loved.

IKKI NIKO — QUALITY TIME / PHYSICAL TOUCH

niko absolutely loves spending time with you. if anything else, he adores it more than anything else. in those quality times, he likes to admire your eyes and give you shy little hugs, or style your hair. anything in those quality time is fine with him, as long as he gets to spend it with you.

[finniestoncrane]

Line of Duty

KTJL!Waller x Fem!Reader, word count: 1.3k eheheh i am obsessed with the idea of this woman literally using me, she is my daddy, she is my mommy, she is my everything 🖤 request info • prompt list • send me a request • kofi • masterlist minors DNI!! 🔞 cw: oral sex, sub/dom dynamics, secret relationship, degradation, mommy kink, lil bit of electrostimulation, praise, minimal aftercare like she's a busy gal

Not even a long draw from her cigarette could ease the building tension in Amanda Waller's chest. Rage and stress, rising in equal parts like bile into her throat, her disbelief, and yet worrying proof, of the incompetency of everyone around her were driving her to what she knew was going to be either a breakdown or a medical emergency. There was always plan B, however. The other, sure fire method of stress relief. Riskier, yes, but far more effective than chain smoking or some harmless flirting with Lex Luthor.

Exhausted, and resigning herself to the inevitable, she leaned back against the desk behind her. She took her phone from her pocket, ignoring the countless missed calls, most of them from the President, the needy, relentless fuck, and typed a message to you with one hand.

"I have a job for you."

It wasn't a code, necessarily. She just found it simpler to speak in the terms she was most familiar with. It made it more exciting for you though. Made you feel like one of her assets. Something she might dismiss, toss to the side, if you didn't do a good enough job for her.

But you always made sure to do your best to please.

Rushing along the corridors of the temporary A.R.G.U.S. base within the Hall of Justice you tried to avoid eye contact with any of your colleagues. It was an inevitable part of the rumour mill. You were Waller's pet, her favourite. She treated you no different to anyone else, except you were invited into her office more than the others. You were still subject to the same berating dished out for anything less than perfect outcomes, the same shitty tasks, the same uncomfortable living quarters. But everyone seemed to know there was something there, something between you. An extra task on your to-do list. And if at any point one of them flashed you that smug, knowing smile on your way to her office, you would have blushed, cementing their beliefs, giving yourself up. You couldn't imagine how pissed Waller would be then.

Thankfully, you managed to make it to her office unscathed, only bumping into one other person, who was so focused on their own work, their face buried in a file so deep you didn't notice who it was.

Knocking lightly on the door, you spoke in a hushed tone.

"Miss Waller? You wanted to see me?"

"Do you think I have time to answer such a stupid question. What did you think my message meant?"

You entered the room sheepishly, keeping your eyes directed at the floor. Pissing her off was a surprisingly easy achievement, and something you were skilled at it seemed. So, still avoiding eye contact, you felt it was better to get to work than waste any more time.

As she leaned back against the wall, you took your place on your knees in front of her, doing your best to keep your nerve, to hold your fingers steady as you unzipped her pants and pulled them down along with her underwear to rest midway on her thighs. You had to be quick. In and out. Much the same way she operated the missions of TFX.

Sighing softly, warm breath heating her core, you pressed your nose to the carefully trimmed stripe of dark, curled pubic hair, letting your tongue slip over your lips and make contact with her. Amanda shuddered, leaning into the wall, her palms against it as she balanced herself, clinging to it to try and minimise her reaction to the pleasure.

As you circled her clit with your tongue, you let your lips cup the hood, sucking gently as she ran her fingers through your hair and gripped close to the scalp, pushing you into her. You weren't sure when she had lit it, but in her free hand she held a cigarette, puffing it intermittently between her soft sighs and moans. Her shoulders were flush to the wall as she lifted her hips up and jutted them out, thrusting slowly into your face as she let you fuck her with your tongue. You kept it moving, flitting over her as she ran herself over it at her preferred pace, groaning with pleasure as you lapped every drip of her up.

A guttural groan forced it's way from her throat, deep, hot. Her grip on your hair loosened slightly, and she let her body relax and sink to the wall. You followed her though, leaning in to keep licking, not as frantic, more languid and gentle as you devoured her taste.

"You really are the best of a bad bunch. Much more useful than than the rest of those idiots."

It felt like a slip of the tongue, her praise, as dry and tenuous as it was, still seemed like something she had said by mistake. But she tugged your mouth from her cunt, sticky strands of her arousal and your saliva coming with you as she forced you to look up at her. Without looking, she tapped her cigarette against the edge of the ashtray on the desk and leaving it there, picking up a tiny, cylindrical gadget with a light blue button on the end.

"That's why you get the special button."

You suddenly remembered the tiny little chip she had installed in your neck. Not quite as consequential as the ones that were implanted into the squad members, of course. Just a little one, enough to give you a pleasant zap. As you cast your mind back to the tests she had done on it, you began to drool, nodding slowly, subconsciously.

More often than not, Amanda liked to be in control, doling out the pleasure rather than receiving. And the tingling that suddenly travelled down your spine was a reminder of the control she had over you, and all the others. Not that she ever had to employ any other methods to convince you of that. The fact that you could feel yourself getting wet any time she shot you a glance was telling enough of the power she had over you.

"Good?"

"Yes, Miss Waller."

"Are you wet?"

"Yes, Miss Waller."

She smiled at the slight blush on your cheeks, the corners of her mouth twinging, pulling at her pout.

"Show me. Put your fingers in your panties and let me see how wet they are."

Everything she asked was so matter of fact, like she was giving you orders. And you realised that she was. So, ever dutiful, you dipped your fingers into your underwear and ran them up your warm, wet slit, collecting your arousal on them and bringing them back out, splaying the two of them apart so she could see the clear, viscous strands stretching.

"Hm..."

It was hard to tell if it was a questioning sigh or one of satisfaction, but you barely had time to ponder on it, as Amanda hit the button again, the hair on your body prickling as you whined, trailing off into a small giggle.

"Do you want more?"

"Yes, Miss Waller."

She leaned down, her large, dark eyes cutting through to your soul.

"Then beg me."

"Please, Miss... m-mo-..."

You stammered, unsure of what she wanted to hear from you. Luckily, she was clearly in a good mood, as she gently placed her hand under your chin and kept you still as she spoke.

"Who's your mommy?"

"You are."

"That's damn right. And who's your daddy?"

"You are."

"Good girl. You're one of the few around here who don't disappoint me."

Despite knowing your place, you couldn't help but beam with pride. But Amanda wasn't smiling as she stared down at you.

"I didn't say you could stop, did I? I push your button, you push mine."