#i have no commentary to give on this other than the fact i realised that im like

[arvoze]

[2/3] HHNFLARTAS - hell hath no fury like a rescue team association scorned

hell hath no fury like a rescue team association scorned not a fic or anything, i just ramble a lot about my pmd ocs in a digestible format that's more or less that kind of content. random yearly event for rescue teams. covers no more than like, one week of VV content

[ 1 / X / 3 ]

hey guys just realised the abbreviation for this says "flartas" this is so embarrassing

hell hath no fury like a rescue team association scorned #2

(sorry this keeps repeating this is just how i organised it all)

and mike's right to worry. it's the team's worst nightmare, for obvious reasons -- it's fire. they're grass. it's a fucking volcanic location. there's no water or anything. they're screwed from the get-go.

but that's the point. you can't always pick and choose where you're headed. sometimes you have to suck it up and get over it and just deal with it. that's the point the RTA try to make, here.

keith's team - well, guildmaster rime, probably, actually - would argue against that. yes, you can't pick and choose all the time, but actually, yes you can, you pick the jobs you can do, and you're an arrogant asshole if you take a job in a place that leaves you at a disadvantage. what are you trying to prove by doing that? just leave it to a team more suited for the job, for the sake of the pokemon that need to be rescued.

right. the pokemon that need to be rescued.

it's a gruelling journey. the team is surviving, barely, always hanging on by a thread, but hey, at least it's a strong thread. it's not a total nightmare for them, for now. but it's going to be. it has to be, because the requirements are to save the rescue and bring something back from the end of the dungeon to "prove" that you completed it (in case the rotom drones aren't watching). their inventory is stacked up enough for this. keith's body is a machine that turns reviver seeds into plain seeds.

..

moderately deep in - about halfway through the dungeon, which is deep for grass-types - the rescue has been found. keith's team go about the regular procedures: are they injured? are they famished? what kind of help do they need? are they in danger? the rescue is the priority. the rescue is the priority. they're safe, thankfully. they're an "actor", so of course they're safe, but it's mandatory to check anyways - keith's team take this stuff seriously when it matters.

they've got to make a decision. for many teams, they don't have to worry about this. but for keith's team, it's only one way or the other.

take the rescue home, and abandon the latter half of the job (to reach the end), or take the rescue with them to the end -- on a journey they can barely survive themselves, endangering the rescue.

the answer is clear: why not do both?

hell hath no fury[..] #3

why not split the team? one takes the rescue home, the others continue pressing on. this is the logical solution that the three come to.

luwel says that the RTA are probably gonna hate it, but that it's easily justifiable to do. keith and mike are in agreement, because when it comes down to it, the rescue is the priority. two of them can take the fall in a fight if they need to - the rescue got home, which is the most important thing.

like clockwork, a monster house will spawn. they still have the rescue. the RTA can't help it, they love a well-timed monster house.

the team is split using the following thought process:

keith is one of the two that stay in the dungeon. this is a given, both because he's the team leader, and also because he's really, really shit at running away as he's a notoriously slow runner (can you blame him). he is the most physically defensive, as well as the most physically strongest (i mean, mike's strong, too, but a regular punch from keith is gonna be a lot worse than a regular punch from mike).

luwel can be fast, but he's not all that strong. he is, however, the best at problem-solving and adapting to situations as they happen, at least out of the three of them. he's also the one who planned their inventory in advance, so luwel actually knows what's in their bag that can be used for situations like these. he's staying with keith in the dungeon.

mike is fast, can fight off stragglers on the way out, and can also carry the rescue on the way. mike's going to be the one splitting from the team to ensure the safety of the rescue.

mike will take out a few pokemon from the monster house before upping and leaving. he can't risk staying for too long, as unfortunate as that is. he doesn't want to go. he knows the situation. he is terrified for what might happen to the others. but he is reassured, constantly -- not reassured. yelled at, really, in that one way keith sounds when he's serious. go. now. just take them and fucking go. despite how long they've been on the job together, it's not a side of keith that the other two see often.

mike's gone. the rescue is gone, too. it's just down to keith and luwel now. oh, christ, it's down to keith and luwel, who are already drained at this point, surrounded by fire types, in quite literally the worst place either of them could be in. the realisation is starting to dawn. gears are turning in luwel's head. the same can't be said for keith, but that's to be expected.

..

thank xerneas one of them knows how to prepare for the worst.

hell hath no fury[..] #4

keith does what he can to take a few of them out, but the exhaustion is really starting to kick in. he can only take so many more hits, under this heat, and bless luwel for being there with him but he's not exactly pulling his weight in a two-on-who-knows-what -- they're tired, drained, dehydrated, everything. they're probably even wilting at this point, the poor bastards.

luwel has a last resort, per the norm. years of the worried and paranoid "what if" scenarios playing in your head before every possible adventure will do that to you. he'd waited until the worst of the worst to use it -- and one could argue that this was as bad as it gets.

he has one singular flood orb, a moderately expensive upgrade to the rainy orb. his ass is not getting compensated for using it by the RTA. whilst the rainy orb generates, well, rain for a short period of time, the flood orb will generate torrential downpour, flooding the floor. overuse could lead to serious disasters in a dungeon, but nobody's got enough money for that. and nobody's got enough balls to ask kyogre to keep upgrading their orbs -- how long had keith had that in storage, anyways? there's not a chance in hell that he's seeking out kyogre ever again.

it's enough. even if it's just a break, it's enough. if keith wasn't the anchor that he is, he'd probably end up getting swept away by the flood that started to form in the room. luwel is holding onto him, of course, whilst keith berates him for using that item, even though he jokes about the fact it's actually fine and he's not mad at all. it's not total garbage water either, which is perfect for keith, because he loves his water absorb ability. it's keith's dungeon now, we're all just exploring in it.

thanks to the water absorption, keith's body has become as resilient as ever - he's slightly larger, now, to accommodate for the water* [note*], and he feels better than ever. better than he was before he even entered the dungeon. he'll take the world on, he doesn't give a shit. luwel is just idly getting by. it's nice to not have to deal with the heat for a little while. the orb fades in his hands, its blue hue transitioning to a dull, deep grey before crumbling to nothing. it was nice while it lasted, he reckons. he'll make a mental note to look for authentic upgrades orbs in the market when the time comes.

most of the monster house is just… swept away to a different part of the dungeon. they can move on, once they've taken their breather. the RTA will probably ban the use of upgraded orbs after this, but modern problems require modern solutions.

hell hath no fury[..] #5

they… get there, in the end. they reach the end of the dungeon. there were further hiccups along the way - luwel's body is a machine that turns reviver seeds into… well, we've heard that one somewhere before. they grab whatever it is that's needed at the end, and then they fuck off. they don't want to be there anymore.

(the details themselves aren't that important… it's just a regular dungeon exploration for the most part. fighting things, taking hits, healing, missing, whatever. all that good stuff. there's no point detailing the actual dungeon stuff itself right now).

mike is finally reunited with the guys. he's been living his best life outside of the dungeon, dealing with normal temperatures and - heaven forbid - a dip in the lake to cool down. mike's doing his best to not laugh about the state his brothers are in. why the fuck are they bald. (they are no longer bald)

..

it takes a while, but the RTA get back to them with their results. they've got to assess every team that took part, of course, so the waiting period was to be expected. for this particular trial, keith's team was met with, well…

a failure. they didn't pass. it's not something to be demoted over, but it cuts them out of qualifying for the top hundred teams in the continent. they haven't been failed in a good number of years. what gives? they did what they were told, didn't they?

yeah. but it's more intricate than that.

[pt 3.]

-

*[note; borrowed from swagulousbeing @ twt]

[determinate-negation]

3 March, 2011

An ongoing trial in Tel Aviv is set to determine who will have stewardship of several boxes of Kafka’s original writings, including primary drafts of his published works, currently stored in Zurich and Tel Aviv. As is well known, Kafka left his published and unpublished work to Max Brod, along with the explicit instruction that the work should be destroyed on Kafka’s death. Indeed, Kafka had apparently already burned much of the work himself. Brod refused to honour the request, although he did not publish everything that was bequeathed to him. [...] But to begin with, let us consider who the parties are to the trial and the various claims they make. First, there is the National Library of Israel, which claims that Esther Hoffe’s will should be set aside, since Kafka does not belong to these women, but either to the ‘public good’ or else to the Jewish people, where these sometimes seem to be the same. David Blumberg, chairman of the board of directors of the National Library, puts the case this way: ‘The library does not intend to give up on cultural assets belonging to the Jewish people ... Because it is not a commercial institution and the items kept there are accessible to all without cost, the library will continue its efforts to gain transfer of the manuscripts that have been found.’ It is interesting to consider how Kafka’s writings can at once constitute an ‘asset’ of the Jewish people and at the same time have nothing to do with commercial activities. [...] So it seems we are to understand Kafka’s work as an ‘asset’ of the Jewish people, though not a restrictively financial one. If Kafka is claimed as a primarily Jewish writer, he comes to belong primarily to the Jewish people, and his writing to the cultural assets of the Jewish people. This claim, already controversial (since it effaces other modes of belonging or, rather, non-belonging), becomes all the more so when we realise that the legal case rests on the presumption that it is the state of Israel that represents the Jewish people. This may seem a merely descriptive claim, but it carries with it extraordinary, and contradictory, consequences. First, the claim overcomes the distinction between Jews who are Zionist and Jews who are not, for example Jews in the diaspora for whom the homeland is not a place of inevitable return or a final destination. Second, the claim that it is Israel that represents the Jewish people has domestic consequences as well. Indeed, Israel’s problem of how best to achieve and maintain a demographic majority over its non-Jewish population, now estimated to constitute more than 20 per cent of the population within its existing borders, is predicated on the fact that Israel is not a restrictively Jewish state and that, if it is to represent its population fairly or equally, it must represent both Jewish and non-Jewish citizens. The assertion that Israel represents the Jewish people thus denies the vast number of Jews outside Israel who are not represented by it, either legally or politically, but also the Palestinian and other non-Jewish citizens of that state. The position of the National Library relies on a conception of the nation of Israel that casts the Jewish population outside its territory as living in the Galut, in a state of exile and despondency that should be reversed, and can be reversed only through a return to Israel. The implicit understanding is that all Jews and Jewish cultural assets – whatever that might mean – outside Israel eventually and properly belong to Israel, since Israel represents not only all Jews but all significant Jewish cultural production. I will simply note that there exists a great deal of interesting commentary on this problem of the Galut by scholars such as Amnon Raz-Krakotzkin, who, in his extraordinary work on exile and sovereignty, argues that the exilic is proper to Judaism and even to Jewishness, and that Zionism errs in thinking that exile must be overcome through the invocation of the Law of Return, or indeed, the popular notion of ‘birthright’.

[sexy-sapphic-sorcerer]

1: Magic is a Metaphor < 2: Morgana is a Lesbian < 3: Merlin is Gay < 4: Arthur is Bi

Do you remember when you were bullied in middle school? Because if you're reading this, I think it's fair to assume that you were. And your parents would say to you, 'that boy is just being mean to you because he likes you'. That's what this is.

Arthur is just so repressed. He has really bad daddy issues, and he doesn't know how to express his emotions, and he's really uncomfortable with physical intimacy, especially with other men, especially with Merlin. And this isn't me trying to psychoanalyse away his heterosexuality. It is a very evident part of his character.

And another big part of his character is that he has inherited all of these bigoted ideas about magic from his father that he has to work to overcome. Because, of course, Arthur himself is born of magic, but his dad is so ashamed of it that he hides the true circumstances of his birth from Arthur. Honestly, I don't know exactly how that would fit into this whole metaphor. I do have a half-formed theory that it could be interpreted as an allegory for intersex identity, I know that a lot of people headcanon Arthur as trans, so idk there could be something there. But regardless, it is only through his relationship with Merlin that he is able to overcome this magicphobia, because he realises: how could it be wrong when everything about Merlin is so right. And I just feel like there's a metaphor in there somewhere.

Of course, I have to mention this iconic quote from the audio commentary of the final episode: when the executive producer refers to Arthur taking off his royal seal to give back to Guinevere as passing over "the last vestige of his heterosexu- oh sorry, I mean his marriage." So, they knew exactly what they were doing.

I also thought I would just draw your attention to the fact that at one point Arthur says, "I only care about my men, they're more than friends, more than brothers." Now, I think we can all agree that out of context, that is a very gay thing to say, and yet somehow the context is even gayer, because Arthur is pretending to be talking about the Knights of the Round Table, but he's actually talking about Merlin, how Merlin is the only person he cares about, more than a friend. And then Merlin responds, "I understand. I wish I didn't, but I do." It's barely subtext at that point. This of course, brings me to my final argument:

Arthur risked his life to save Merlin at least eight times. It could be more than that, I genuinely lost count. And you have to keep in mind that Arthur is the King of Camelot and he doesn't have any heirs. It is quite important that he stays alive. And yet anytime that Merlin is in the slightest bit of danger, he will just drop everything to protect him.

And it's really only in those moments where he's faced with the thought of losing Merlin that he shows him genuine emotion. Such as in this scene (which was cut out of 4x02 purely because it was too gay) where Arthur is planning to sacrifice himself to protect Merlin, again, and he gives Merlin his mother's sigil, the only thing he has left of his dead mum and he wants Merlin to have it as something to remember him by. Also, apparently in medieval times giving someone your family crest was basically a marriage proposal, so that's pretty gay.

You know what else is pretty gay? Telepathically communicating with Merlin and then immediately leaving Gwen in the middle of an active war. This is literally the last time that Arthur and Gwen ever see each other. Poor Gwen.

In conclusion, Merlin is the story of gay sorcerers and bisexual knights getting into love triangles. Everyone in this show is queer and you cannot tell me otherwise.

[ctheathy]

Nine w/ Unintelligent yet emotionally clever!Darling

Nine x Reader

General+Fluff Headcanons

Short Concept

Author’s note: hello, my sweeties~! Right off the bat, I want to insanely apologise for taking so long with any of the requests that just so happen to still be in my inventory, motivation has been appearing and dying out a lot lately and it affects the quality of my writing a lot unfortunately. I promise I shall finish them up eventually though<3<3

Literally thought of this dynamic one night and it cracked me up so much, I just had to make a post about it lmfao.

Nine/Reader [Romantic Tendencies]

[Gender-neutral Darling|Female Darling|Male Darling]

Potential ⚠️TWs⚠️ :

Nine being a meanie •

・❥・・❥・・❥・・❥・・❥・・❥・・❥・・❥・

You two would likely have quite the bumpy relationship right off the start of your meeting. We all know Nine is rather quick to rage himself and has his little frustration streak to deal with, which shall unfortunately be dumped on you for the time being when you two are in one another’s presence. The fact that you fail to understand basic logic drives him absolutely mad. Don’t get him wrong, he knows he’s on a higher level of intelligence when it comes to the average mobian, but even common sense didn’t seem to get to you. He’d stick around you on purpose just in favour of sassing you and making sure you don’t walk right into danger.

At first he’d always make it very clear to you that he strongly dislikes your lack of intelligence, much as a muffled groan could be heard fromout his side whenever you managed to let out yet another “...huh?” as a sentence on the complexer side found itself into the conversation; which to him, had been basic common sense. He believes you’re absolutely going to be the death of him. Sarcastic remarks are a must and he’s continuously throwing bold comments left and right. ‘Let natural selection take its course’ as he would always say on an average afternoon. Though something you are aware of however, is that he wouldn’t dare to even think of letting you get hurt in the slightest.

As much due to you still being a sweet and caring soul, he’s automatically still going to grow a soft spot for you through one way or another. It’s going to happen over time, but he just needs to grow accustomed to the fact you don’t understand things as easily. He would still let out a small sigh whenever something very logical isn’t understood by you, but this time he’d instead go out of his way to calmly explain the said misunderstanding for your sake. You have to start somewhere, right? And he wouldn’t want anybody but himself to take that position in your life either, not taking no as an answer for certain.

Though the sassy remarks and commentary shall genuinely die down after the realisation sets in that you’re actually trying when gathering the said information. It may be having trouble with memory cases, lacking knowledge on vocabulary, or something else entirely; but he tries his hardest to see things from your perspective, as he suddenly despises himself for the fact that he’s ridiculed you for it during past events. But as you still lack the average knowledge, it’s very much possible he would get ever more overprotective than he would before. Mainly due to him not trusting you to be able to protect yourself under these circumstances.

I would believe your emotional intelligence would come in the picture as soon as he tells you about his past trauma and current distrust with other beings. In all honesty, he just wanted to vent out his emotions a little. But it didn’t take long for him to realise that instead of giving him a confused stare, you went out of your way to comfort him to immense levels, even noticeably making rude remarks towards those who harassed him in the past. You’d explain your personal thinking on the situation and how he absolutely never deserved any of the torment he faced. Now it had been him who was currently giving you a visibly distraught expression, mainly as it actually caught him off guard by how well thought through your wording seemed to be on the spot. Were you even the same person? And this is what would only be the mere start of him completely opening up to you.

I believe this would be the one change that makes all the difference. You have the capability of understanding him and the things he went through. Instead of misinterpreting it, you almost seem to read him like an open book. Making it close to impossible for him to hide his current emotions to you. This new side of you makes him feel guilty in a way, as you’ve been mistaken as unintelligent and foolish by those around you for God knows how long. You weren’t dumb, you just held higher knowledge over the topics that were never spoken about. And to him, that just makes you extra special and mature in your own way

And those who continue to harass you for your quote on quote ‘dense’ demeanour? Well, let’s just say they’ll be the first to find out the actual damage a nine-tailed fox can provoke torwards those who encourage the more ... Hostile thinking in the back of his head. If anything, I can even see him getting defensive when the smallest and most innocent intended comments get thrown your way. I can literally smell Sonic’s harmless remark from a mile away and Nine’s already ready to kill the boy. He would truly put everything aside to ensure that you’re both safe and satisfied, even if this includes having to throw hands for the sake of your defense.

・❥・・❥・・❥・・❥・・❥・・❥・・❥・・❥・

[lucky-clover-gazette]

prince's gambit highlights & annotations

chapters 5 & 6

indented text is from the book. some quotes have commentary, some do not. some comments are serious, and some are definitely not. most of them will only make sense to people who have read the series. and, like, there are spoilers. so please read the books first if you're interested!

also: part of the reason i'm doing such a close reading is to study cs pacat's style, especially in terms of how she does romance and erotica. there are "craft notes" that might seem weird, like i'm being redundant or restating something rather than analyzing, but those are more things that i want to remember/take away from the writing!

i'm going to tag these longer posts with "sam reads capri" in case anyone wants to read them all at once.

this is a google doc i wrote with overall content warnings for the captive prince series. it's not perfect, but i do think it's important to include.

Laurent glanced at their surroundings, and said, ‘It’s the wrong terrain for an ambush.’ ‘The town isn’t,’ said Damen. For good measure, he took hold of Laurent’s horse’s bridle. ‘Consider alternatives. Can you entrust the task to someone else?’ ‘No,’ said Laurent. He said it as a calm statement of fact. Damen forced down his frustration, reminded himself that Laurent was in possession of an able mind, and that therefore his, ‘No,’ had a reason behind it other than pure stubbornness. Probably.

i love this entire passage! damen taking control of laurent's horse is great

‘This doesn’t suit me,’ he said, meaning that it didn’t suit him to wear them. ‘No. It doesn’t. You look like one of us,’ said Laurent.

well this definitely helps laurent with his evolving self-delusion and cognitive dissonance. also i like how damen's pov specifies that he is not calling himself unfit for the clothing physically, bc he's hot enough to wear anything, it's more of a figurative unfitness

‘The Prince has business away from the camp,’ said Damen. ‘He plans to return mid-morning. He wants you to captain the men as usual while he’s gone.’ ‘Whatever he needs. How many men is he taking with him?’ ‘One,’ said Damen. ‘Good luck,’ was all Jord said.

jord, immediately assuming that the one man is damen:

Vistas of endless ridiculousness opened up before him.

Laurent was considering the women. He was far from wide-eyed, but there was a certain quality to his gaze. For Laurent, Damen realised, this experience was wholly new and highly illicit. Compounding Damen’s sense of the ridiculous was the sudden acute awareness that he was accompanying the chaste Crown Prince of Vere to his first brothel. From elsewhere in the house, you could hear the sound of fucking.

damen you’ve seen the court of vere, why the fuck do you think laurent would be flustered by this. is it the heterosexuality?

You’re sitting so far away,’ said the blonde. ‘Then get up,’ said Laurent. She got up. The brunette rose too, and made for Laurent. The blonde came to sit beside Damen.

not the blonde going to damen and the brunette going to laurent 😭

‘Unlace his jacket,’ said Laurent. The blonde looked from Damen to Laurent. Damen looked at him too. Laurent had dispensed with his own woman wordlessly, perhaps with a single dismissive flick of his fingers. Elegant and relaxed, he was regarding them without urgency. It was familiar. Damen felt the moment when his pulse kicked in, remembering the love seat in the garden bower, and Laurent’s cool voice giving explicit instructions: suck it, and, tongue the slit. Damen caught the blonde’s wrist. There was not going to be a repeat performance.

“do it yourself coward”

it is interesting, to get some insight re: how damen feels about the garden scene. he seems to regard it as less of a personal violation, and more of an insult or annoyance. it might even be something he’s intentionally avoiding BECAUSE he knows how much laurent’s instruction turns him on.

the use of “performance” is interesting here, too. damen’s reactions in the garden had been real, and he knows they would be real here again. but he seems to assume that to laurent, it’s all just an act. which at this point, i think it pretty much is, although… i’m not quite sure what this specific gesture would have gotten laurent, if damen had allowed it. is it possible that laurent genuinely wanted to do damen a favor by getting him laid? or was he just “yes, and”-ing the situation on damen’s behalf, for fun?

‘The plaster’s old,’ said Damen. ‘Here.’ He took hold of the grille, and gave it a tug. Bits of plaster rained down from the edges of the window, but it wasn’t enough to detach the grille from the frame. He changed his grip, braced his stance and put his shoulder into it. On the third attempt, the whole grille came away from the window. It was surprisingly heavy. He placed it carefully on the floor. The thick carpet muffled any sound, as it had done when he had moved the chest. ‘After you,’ he said to Laurent, who was staring at him. Laurent almost looked as though he was going to speak, but then he just nodded, pulled himself through the window and dropped soundlessly into the alley behind the brothel.

another rare early instance of obvious laurent attraction. i think he is smitten by damen’s irreverent blunt efficiency, as well as the display of raw strength. seeing this, laurent might be thinking to himself, “he could have snapped me in half this whole time, but he hasn’t.” kind of foreshadowing of the “i could have done this...” line in book 3.

anyway, laurent’s attraction here seems to consist of 1) respect for damen’s competence, 2) intrigue regarding his usual restraint, and 3) physical attraction to big hot strong guy. #3 is the one i personally have the most trouble analyzing, and i’d bet laurent would be equally confused by that aspect of his own reaction. but he’s definitely feeling Something here, whether or not he’s able to understand or verbalize it. he can’t even manage to make the expected snarky comment!

‘Here. Take this,’ said Laurent when they were half the town away, tossing Damen his coin purse. ‘It’s better if we’re not recognised. And you should do up the collar on your jacket.’

when exactly do you think laurent came up with the role reversal plan? was it before or after damen ripped a metal grate off a wall with his bare hands?

whatever the case, he’s preparing for it now. damen will just have to play along.

Anyone seeing a young blond man of noble birth is going to guess it’s you.’ ‘I brought a disguise,’ said Laurent. ‘A disguise,’ said Damen.

did he only make this specific disguise plan after damen agreed to come with him? if not, was he just going to pretend to be an unaccompanied pet????

After no more than a brief, dismissive glance at Laurent, the innkeeper gave Damen his full attention, greeting him respectfully. ‘Welcome, my lord. Will you and your pet require lodgings for the evening?’

(the noise i made when i read this for the first time…)

every single uncomfortable, indulgent detail about veretian pets in book 1 justifies itself in this moment.

some disorganized thoughts:

from the moment they left, laurent knew this is where they were heading. and he intentionally did not inform damen of the role he would have to play. there might have been a slight strategic advantage to keep damen in the dark, but i also think laurent just figured it would be funny to make it a surprise. a little treat, to get himself through the horrors.

if laurent was asked to examine WHY this specific arrangement is a fun treat, he’d probably jump out of a window to escape the question. (damen, too, but for different reasons.)

like, there… really is no strategic reason for laurent to be a pet here. he could have disguised himself and damen in plenty of other ways, but laurent chose this specific bit for them both. interesting.

i'd like to think that laurent would eventually unpack this choice. i’m sure there’s plenty of fic exploring the idea of him roleplaying as a pet, relinquishing his authority, and reclaiming his sexual identity in a controlled environment. maybe he and damen can do it on purpose, without the high-stakes mission to justify the act.

craft note: this subversion is incredible, in terms of characterization, plot, romance, and sexual tension. the perfect payoff to nicaise’s earring, the focus on pets in book 1, and laurent’s affinity for “performance.”

as i begin close-reading chapter 6 of prince’s gambit, i remind myself that this is meant to be rational and eloquent literary analysis.

'I want your best room,’ said Laurent, ‘with a big bed and a private bath, and if you send up the house boy, you’ll find out the hard way that I don’t like sharing.’ He delivered the innkeeper a long, cool look. ‘He’s expensive,’ said Damen to the innkeeper, by way of apology.

And then watched as the innkeeper sized up the cost of Laurent’s clothes, and his sapphire earring—a royal gift to a favourite—and the likely cost of Laurent himself, the face, the body. Damen realised that he was about to be charged three times the going rate for everything. He decided with good humour that he didn’t mind being generous with Laurent’s coin.

i’m obsessed with how quickly damen commits to the bit with good humor. i wonder if it surprises laurent, even delights him to have such a willing scene partner

Why don’t you find us a table. Pet.’ Enjoying the moment. And the sobriquet.

“A sobriquet is a descriptive nickname, sometimes assumed, but often given by another. A sobriquet is distinct from a pseudonym in that it is typically a familiar name used in place of a real name without the need for explanation; it may become more familiar than the original name.” (Wiktionary)

damen is enjoying the sobriquiet. he is enjoying calling laurent “pet.”

craft note: i can’t do this. i don’t know. something something, role reversals and subversion. there.

Being the best table, it was occupied. Laurent emptied it with what appeared to be a glance, or a word, or the simple fact of his approach.

okay so what do we think this was. like, he’s not using his prince privileges here. he’s being perceived as essentially a very expensive prostitute. it happens quickly, it couldn’t have been a long con. what did laurent say or do, subtly enough that damen couldn’t make it out, to empty an entire table of people???

The earring was not a discreet disguise. Every man in the common room of the inn was taking the time to have a good look at Laurent. Pet. Laurent’s cool-eyed arrogance proclaimed that no one could touch him. The earring said that one man could. It transformed him from unattainable to exclusive, an elite pleasure no one here could afford.

has anyone ever drawn laurent in the “i am a luxury few can afford” sweater

But that was an illusion. Damen sat down across the table from Laurent on one of the long benches. ‘What now?’ said Damen. ‘Now we wait,’ said Laurent.

previous line “… no one could afford.” there’s a sort of double meaning here, i think, when damen says this is an illusion. what he means, consciously, is that laurent’s entire act is an illusion. but what i can imply, from the following action and dialogue, is that damen IS that one person who can touch laurent—the real laurent, behind the disguise. damen sits with him unceremoniously and speaks to him like an ally, not a pet.

their dynamic drives me fucking insaneeeeeee

Then Laurent rose and made his way around the table, sitting himself beside Damen, close as a lover. ‘What are you doing?’ ‘Verisimilitude,’ said Laurent. The earring winked at him.

nothing sexier than vocab

‘I’m glad I brought you along. I wasn’t expecting to have to tear things out of walls. Do you visit brothels often?’

i ask again: was laurent planning to do the pet thing without damen???

‘Not brothels. Camp followers?’ said Laurent. And then: ‘Slaves.’ And then, after the satisfaction of a pause: ‘Akielos, the garden of delights. So you enjoy slavery in others. Just not in yourself.’

get his ass laurent

Damen shifted on the long bench, and regarded him. ‘Don’t strain yourself,’ said Laurent. ‘You talk more,’ said Damen, ‘when you’re uncomfortable.’

i love this moment so much. damen is not giving laurent the satisfaction of his attempted blindsiding. if he's going to join laurent in this, they are going to commit to the bit as equals. laurent teases damen for his discomfort and damen teases him right back.

between the brothel and this scene, damen is correcting the dynamic he and laurent shared in the court and gardens of arles. it’s not that he refuses to play the game—but now, he insists upon playing with equal advantage.

(also: “you talk more when you’re uncomfortable” is a very true observation, and they both know it! after a few chapters of laurent being a boss ass bitch, it’s good to see him slightly humbled. especially when it’s damen doing the humbling.)

‘We’ll try to entertain ourselves. Who’s that?’ said Laurent.

kid in a candy shop behavior

Laurent was watching Volo with the same expression with which he had regarded the women in the brothel.

it’s like he’s playing the sims. like he took his self-made “laurent ofvere” sim to the club in a cunty outfit and now he’s trying to figure out what kinds of entertaining Situations he can provoke.

‘All right. Give me some coin. I want to play that man at cards.’ Laurent rose, leaning his weight against the table. Damen reached for the purse, then paused. ‘Aren’t you supposed to earn gifts with service?’ Laurent said, ‘Is there something you want?’ His voice was sinuous with promise; his gaze was steady as a cat’s. Damen, who preferred not to be eviscerated, tossed Laurent the purse. Laurent caught it in one hand, and took for himself a handful of copper and silver. He tossed the purse back to Damen as he made his way across the inn floor, seating himself opposite Volo.

I LOVE THEMMMM

Charls trusted the Prince to stand firm in negotiations with the bastard Akielon King more than he trusted the Regent uncle.

charls knows what he’s talking about

The Crown Prince was camped at Nesson this very minute, on his way to the border to stand up to Akielos. He was a young man serious about his responsibilities, Charls said. Damen had to make an effort not to look over at Laurent, gambling, when he said it.

incredible writing. 10/10

Laurent took the drink and picked his way back across the room, where he put it, untouched, in front of Damen. ‘Spoils of someone else’s victory.’

thoughtful <3 like when a cat brings its owner something it’s killed <3

Damen said, ‘If you wanted a drink and an old hat that badly, you could have just bought them from him. Cheaper and quicker.’ ‘It’s the game I like,’ said Laurent.

character-defining quote! laurent takes pleasure and pride in the chaos of improvisation. if everything was made simple for him, he wouldn’t be having any fun.

laurent has spent the last seven years of his life starved for enrichment in his enclosure. but he’s not in arles anymore—still a captive prince figuratively, but he’s finally having some fun >:)

He reached over and appropriated another coin out of the purse Damen carried, then palmed it. ‘Look, I’ve learned a new trick.’ When he opened his hand, it was empty, as if by magic. A second later, the coin dropped out of his sleeve onto the floor. Laurent frowned at it. ‘Well, I don’t have it quite yet.’ ‘If the trick is making coins disappear, I think you do have it, actually.’

they’d have this interaction in literally any au. modern, role reversal, whatever. just a cringefail theater nerd and his affectionately teasing prep-jock boyfriend.

(yes, damen is a prep. i’m sorry. look inside your heart and you’ll know it to be true.)

‘What’s the food like?’ said Laurent, his eyes on the table. Damen tore off a piece of bread, and held it like a treat to a house cat. ‘Try it.’ Laurent looked at the bread, and then he looked at the men by the fire, and then he looked at Damen, a long, cool look that would have been difficult to hold if Damen had not had, by now, a great deal of practice. And then he said, ‘All right.’ It took a moment for those words to penetrate. By the time they did, Laurent had settled next to him on the long bench. Laurent straddled it, facing Damen. Laurent was really going to do it. Pets in Vere made a teasing production out of this, flirting and making love to their masters’ hands. Laurent, when Damen brought the mouthful of bread to his lips, did none of those things. He maintained an essential fastidiousness. There was almost nothing of pet and master about it at all, except that Damen felt, just for an instant, the warmth of Laurent’s breath against his fingertips. Verisimilitude, thought Damen.

Laurent ate the bread. It was like feeding a predator, the same feeling. Laurent was so close that it would be easy to wrap a hand around the back of his neck and draw him closer. He remembered the feel of Laurent’s hair, his skin, and fought the urge to press against Laurent’s lips with the pads of his fingers. It was the earring. Laurent was always so austere. The earring reframed him. It gave the appearance of a sensual side, sophisticated and subtle. But that side didn’t exist. The glint of sapphires was dangerous. As Nicaise had been dangerous. Nothing in Vere was as it seemed. Another piece of bread. Laurent’s lips brushed against his fingertips. It was brief and soft. This wasn’t what he’d intended when he picked up the bread. He had some sense that his plans had been overturned, that Laurent knew exactly what he was doing. The touch resembled the first brush of lips in the kind of sensual kiss that begins as a series of smaller kisses, and then, slowly, deepens. Damen felt his breathing change.

He reminded himself forcefully of who this was. Laurent, his captor. He made himself recall the fall of each lash on his back, but thanks to some misfiring of the brain, found himself instead in the memory of Laurent’s wet skin in the baths, the way his limbs fitted together like a hilt fitted to the blade of a balanced sword. Laurent finished the morsel, then rested a hand on Damen’s thigh, and slowly slid it upward. ‘Control yourself,’ said Laurent. And shifted in, until, facing one another on the straddled bench, they were almost chest to chest. Laurent’s hair tickled against Damen’s cheek as he brought his lips to Damen’s ear. ‘You and I are almost the last ones here,’ Laurent murmured. ‘And so?’ The next murmur slid softly into Damen’s ear, so that he felt the shape of each word, made of lips and breath. ‘And so, take me upstairs,’ said Laurent. ‘Don’t you think we’ve waited long enough?’

craft… note…

i said i was going to analyze scenes like this in order to understand how they work and improve my own writing. like laurent, i take pride in committing to the bit.

overall, the eroticism here is in the improv. i’m sorry, but it’s true. "yes, and” is basically dirty talk in lamen. the long pauses, the mutual unspoken challenge, the suggestive performance… it all builds tension towards something exciting and unknown. damen and laurent’s connection, in this scene and the majority of the book, is like a string that they’re both pulling taut—and neither of them has any idea what will happen when it finally snaps.

i think it’s helpful to compare this moment with the garden scene from book 1. that erotic interaction was instructive and detached—laurent was completely in control, and ancel was there, doing something, probably. but here, damen and laurent are both actively and exclusively partaking, and encouraging each other to take it just a little bit further. they are close in a way they’ve never been before, figuratively and literally. they are exploring the space of the unfamiliar scene with good humor, mutual investment, and (from damen at least) unsubtle attraction.

if they weren’t so attracted to each other, it could truly just be an act. a performance. something they can put on to accomplish their mission, but drop as soon as it’s done. but here, i think, is when it becomes clear to damen that he and laurent can’t DO that. this territory is both unpredictable and too close for comfort, whether they’re approaching it ironically or earnestly. there’s no way for them to perform eroticism and remain instructive and detached. they are playing with fire.

damen realizes, when he feels laurent’s breath against his fingertips, that he can’t be normal about this. and he continues to think that, as i recall, for the remainder of the series.

laurent, meanwhile, will take much longer to have a similar realization, because that would mean inescapable attachment—something damen has never feared, but laurent fears more than anything else. like… emotional captivity, almost. (am i suggesting that attachment is emotional captivity? i think i am. hm, okay. anyway.)

with the way that this scene is written, we can see that things between damen and laurent are real. they’ve always been real, and they will continue to be real. the eroticism is in the improv, and we want them to continue “yes,and”-ing each other into a satisfying resolution. but, of course, the story is going to make us wait. and that just makes this scene even hotter.

from my breakdown of the book 1 garden scene:

i think what i like here, is that… yeah, it’s horny. it’s indulgent, easily the most blatant instance of kink we’ve seen so far. but it’s not really what i think frequent readers of this kink genre would expect, or even want to read—it is a subversion, with laurent completely disrupting the basic scenario that everyone else (but damen) in the scene wants to mindlessly enjoy.

how can i replicate this? set up a thing that follows expectations. don’t actually do the thing. do something significantly more insane than the expected thing. do not elaborate on the insane thing, leaving more questions than answers, and move on as if it wasn’t insane at all.

set up a thing that follows expectations = damen is playing master and laurent is playing pet. i think most people would expect damen’s archetype to exercise power over laurent’s archetype in that sort of situation, especially since he’s been denied the opportunity to assert his dominance in previous circumstances. i don’t know a lot about common dynamics in this specific kink space, but i do kind of assume that people would want to see laurent submit, both because of his characterization and physical appearance. and this would be an ideal place to indulge that expectation, characterization and plot be damned, since it can be called an act and stripped of actual consequences.

don’t actually do the thing = pacat doesn’t give an inch of her characterization to provide easy fanservice. the scene is erotic simply by suggestion, and laurent is almost entirely in charge—the instigator and the star of the show. damen, meanwhile, is physically passive and deeply confused by his own feelings and reactions. this is all consistent with their characterization in non-erotic scenes so far. they are acting here, but not as a “normal” master and pet. i don’t think they could be normal, even if they tried.

do something significantly more insane than the expected thing = check. see analysis above.

do not elaborate on the insane thing, leaving more questions than answers, and move on as if it wasn’t insane at all = check. yaoi break’s over, back to the secret mission.

The lobe of Laurent’s ear was pierced through with the ornament of his uncle’s child-lover. It suited him, in the mundane sense that it matched his colouring.

this happens during the bread scene, but i wanted it quarantined. way to harsh the vibe, damen

And there was a man of about thirty with a dark, closely trimmed beard sitting on the bed, who propelled himself off it and onto one knee when he saw Laurent. Damen sat down rather heavily on the chair by the door.

laurent launching into a clandestine business meeting while damen is still trying desperately to fight off the horny. lmao

The man drew a piece of sealed parchment from inside his jacket. Laurent took it, broke the seal, and read the contents. He read it slowly. From the glimpse Damen caught, it looked like it was written in a cipher. When he was done, he dropped the parchment into the fire, where it curled up and blacked over.

context: fuck, i don’t remember what this is. i don’t know. it doesn’t matter. like damen, i'm still thinking about the bread scene

‘I’m the type who takes a great deal of pleasure in small victories,’ Laurent said.

Laurent unpinned the earring. ‘I think we’ll be safe on the road in the morning. The men who followed us seemed more interested in finding him than harming me. They didn’t attack us when they had the chance tonight.’ And then, ‘Does that door lead to the bath?’ And then, halfway to the door, ‘Don’t worry, your services aren’t required.’

laurent drops the act so quickly. at a loss for any logical conclusion about what the fuck just happened, i think damen just decides to pretend he’s equally unaffected

i do wonder how laurent acted as soon as he shut the door and got some priavcy, though. hm.

When he was gone, Damen wordlessly picked up an armful of bedding and dumped it on the floor by the hearth. Then there was nothing to do. He went downstairs. The only patrons now remaining were Volo and the house boy, who weren’t paying any attention to anyone else. The house boy’s sand-coloured hair was a tousled mess. He went all the way outside the inn and stood for a moment; the cool night air was calming. The street was empty. The messenger was gone. It was very late. It was peaceful here. He couldn’t stay out here all night. Recalling that Laurent had eaten nothing but a few fraught mouthfuls of bread, he stopped by the kitchens on his way back upstairs and requisitioned a plate of bread and meats. When he went back into the room, Laurent had emerged from the bath and was half clothed and sitting drying his damp hair by the fire, taking up the majority of the space on Damen’s impromptu bed. ‘Here,’ said Damen, and passed him the plate.

okay, so here’s my read of this entire sequence: damen tries to get some space from his own recently-realized attraction to laurent. he remarks that it is peaceful outside, where he manages to get himself that space. and THEN he immediately tells himself to go back inside, because he can’t stay out there all night—can’t leave laurent alone for too long. he picks up food specifically for laurent on his way back up, sets things up nicely for them both, and greets him as if he never even left at all.

this is a parallel, i think, to the scene where damen abandons laurent in book 1. i just want to get that easy part of the analysis out of the way.

what i really find interesting here, is that it’s almost like… damen’s decision to accept his own attachment to laurent. he accepted his attraction to laurent during the bread scene, but attraction is a passive response. attachment is an active choice.

if attachment is emotional captivity, then this interlude is damen admitting to himself that he doesn’t want to be free. he knows what his heart wants—and unlike laurent, damen isn’t afraid to trust others with his heart. he doesn’t yet believe that laurent would treat his heart gently, which is exactly why he doesn’t give it to him. but privately, i think this is when damen finally admits to himself that his feelings are not only real, but also worth pursuing.

so he “yes, and”s the feeling, goes back inside, and fully commits to the bit, making sure that laurent is well-fed and cared for. if he’s going to do this, he might as well do it right.

‘Thank you,’ said Laurent, looking at the plate with a blink. ‘The bath is free. If you like.’

laurent’s little blink is very cute. and then he tells damen to go take a bath, so he (laurent) can privately process whatever the hell this is all supposed to mean

He told himself that this was no different from two dozen nights together inside of a warfield tent.

… but he knew that he was totally lyinggggggg

When he returned, Laurent had carefully eaten half of everything on the plate, and had placed it on the chest where Damen could get at it if he wanted it. Damen, who had eaten his fill downstairs and who didn’t think Laurent should be able to take over his bed when he had left untouched the vast comfort of his own, ignored the plate and came to stake his claim beside Laurent, on the blankets by the hearth.

head in my fucking hands. i love them so much. no thoughts, just domestic comfort. and they were roommates.

‘I thought that Volo was your contact,’ said Damen. ‘I just wanted to play him at cards,’ said Laurent.

great exchange. damen assumes that laurent does everything for a strategic reason. laurent just wanted to have fun. they’re breaking down their preconceived notions of each other, finally.

After a moment, Laurent said, ‘I don’t think I would have arrived here without your help, at least not without being followed. I am glad you came. I meant that. You were right. I’m not used to . . .’ He broke off.

from chapter 5: “You’re too used to doing everything on your own.” :’)

‘You’re in a strange mood,’ said Damen. ‘Stranger than usual.’ ‘I’d say I’m in a good mood.’ ‘A good mood.’ ‘Well, not as good a mood as Volo,’ said Laurent. ‘But the food’s decent, the fire’s warm, and no one’s tried to kill me in the last three hours. Why not?’

‘I’ve seen your court,’ Damen reminded him gently. ‘You’ve seen my uncle’s court,’ said Laurent.

excellent response for both damen and the reader to chew on

Would yours be any different? He didn’t say it. Maybe he didn’t need to know the answer. The king that Laurent would be, he was becoming with every passing day, but the future was another life. Laurent would not then be leaning back on his hands, lazily drying his hair before an inn-room fire, or climbing in and out of brothel windows. Nor would Damen.

a kingdom or this?

so far, damen has been able to tell himself that helping laurent is a way for him to help akielos—that he will leave laurent, as soon as he feels that his country is safe.

it’s going to get harder and harder for him to believe that, though, from now on. he did not just go back inside for akielos. if he had, he wouldn’t have stopped to find laurent a meal.

the lives in damen and laurent’s futures are just as real as their ruse downstairs. as in, only as real as they choose for them to be. so far, they’ve both assumed their own eventual choices, and each other’s, to be very set in stone. after this outing, i think damen at least begins to reconsider.

‘What really happened to make Kastor send you here? I know it was not a lover’s quarrel,’ said Laurent.

context reminder: he is asking this, fully knowing that damen is damianos. this definitely threatens his own cognitive dissonance. but he still asks, because he is vulnerable and relaxed.

I don’t know what I did to make him hate me as much as this. Why we couldn’t go as brothers to mourn— —our father—

i love damen as a character so much. beneath his determination to conflate niceness with goodness, is the crushing despair of knowing deep down that he can't trust people to treat him in the honorable way he treats them. he’s not angry or spiteful about this, even though he has every reason to be—just confused, and sad, and betrayed.

a younger laurent must have felt this way after his brother’s death and during his uncle’s abuse. but then came anger and spite, because he had no one to trust.

these characters were literally made for each other, like on a construction/craft level, and you can tell. it is really, really well-done.

‘My honourable barbarian. I wouldn’t have picked that as your type.’ ‘Type?’ ‘A pretty face, a devious mind and a ruthless nature.’

i love the mild anachronism of “type” here. also, lol. a rare moment of laurent not realizing his own dramatic irony, because there’s no way in hell he thinks at this point that damen genuinely likes him. also, i’m not sure if laurent sees himself as ruthless at all. he is pragmatic, but i don’t think he considers himself merciless or cruel.

‘Perhaps I . . . I knew she was ruled by her mind, not her heart. I knew she was ambitious, and, yes, at times ruthless. I admit there was something . . . attractive about it. But I never guessed that she would betray me for Kastor. That I learned too late.’ ‘Auguste was like you,’ said Laurent. ‘He had no instinct for deception; it meant he couldn’t recognise it in other people.’

i love it when my previous analysis is further reinforced by the text

And what about you?’ said Damen, after a difficult breath. ‘I have a highly developed instinct for deception.’ ‘No, I meant—’ ‘I know what you meant.’

when he’s relaxed, laurent talks like a total nerd. awkward attempts at irony, defensive self-awareness, and an obvious desire to be the most clever person in the room.

Now, after a night of earrings and brothels, he thought: Why not ask him about it? Laurent didn’t look uncomfortable.

the fact that damen has not only noticed laurent’s discomfort with the topic of sex, but is also considerate and thoughtful about it, makes my heart ache

‘I wondered,’ Damen said, carefully, ‘if you reserved your love for women.’ ‘No, I—’ Laurent sounded surprised. Then he seemed to realise that his surprise gave something fundamental away, and he looked away with a muttered breath; when he looked back at Damen there was a wry smile on his lips, but he said, steadily, ‘No.’

i’m guessing laurent’s thought process went something like this:

me, straight? lmfao i’ve had sex with a man

but that man was [redacted]. shit.

but damen doesn’t know about [redacted], so why does he assume i’m straight?

oh, i’ve got it. in my culture heterosexuality is taboo with the nobility, so damen would assume that i’m secretly straight and hiding it. dumbass. (smiles, because now he gets to call damen a dumbass)

‘It’s not my fault that no one in your country can think in a straight line,’ said Damen, frowning a touch defensively.

not the veretian homonormativity 😭

‘That isn’t why. She would have chosen him even if you’d had royal blood in your veins, even if you’d had the same blood as Kastor. You don’t understand the way a mind like that thinks. I do. If I were Jokaste and a king maker, I’d have chosen Kastor over you too.’

i’m pretty sure laurent means this as both a comfort and compliment. it also helps to reinforce his own cognitive dissonance between damen and damianos.

‘Because a king maker would always choose the weaker man. The weaker the man, the easier he is to control.’ Damen felt the shock of surprise, and looked at Laurent only to find Laurent gazing back at him without rancour. The moment stretched out. It wasn’t . . . it wasn’t what he had expected Laurent to say. As he gazed at Laurent, the words moved through him in unexpected ways, and he felt them touch something jagged-edged within him, felt them shift it a first, tiny fraction, something lodged hard and deep, that he had thought immovable. He said: ‘What makes you think Kastor is the weaker man? You don’t know him.’ ‘But I’m coming to know you,’ said Laurent.

this pulls everything between the lines of this chapter together beautifully. the mutual re-evaluation, the undeniable reality of their connection, a kingdom or this. i would love to know just how many drafts and editing passes this specific chapter went through, to achieve this degree of excellence.

also, a theme from book 1: "there is no honor in obedience."

[dongslinger--420]

Thoughts on the chicken for days episode?

I used to skip it on all my rewatched of bojack after maybe my third rewatch because I think I got it in my brain that it was an unimportant dumb episode. But then on my last rewatch I made the effort and realised that it's actually better than I remembered. Still dumb lol. But not "bad dumb." It's like the Todd episode before the Actual Todd episode.

And I'll big admit that the joke in this episode where people keep asking Becca the chicken questions and taking her varied buck sounds as legit responses got me xD

Hi! Before I get onto anything else, I'd like to ask you to please not use the word "dumb" on my blog. I really don't like that word and I've mentioned it a couple of times before, but I understand that you probably didn't know, so I'd just ask you to not do it again.

Moving on to my actual answer, I have two things that I'd like to talk about in regards to Chickens:

1. Social commentary

I'm vegan, and so is Raphael Bob-Waksberg, although I'm unaware as to whether the writer of the episode, Peter Knight, is. As a result, this episode functions as a commentary in favour of veganism, and when I first watched the episode, this really struck me, because it was the first time I had seen this in any show.

Yes, this is a world where humans and anthropomorphic animals coexist, and as a result they couldn't make a one-on-one comparison (on that note, I would love to watch an episode that shows how they reached this conclusion in the first place). However, the comparisons that they do make are generally handled very well. Many people do think that eating animals is justified simply because they are of lesser intelligence to humans. Yes, the livestock in this episode are bred to be of lesser intelligence, but the justification is still there. Many organisations (including the RSPCA) refuse to acknowledge the hypocrisy of eating animals while claiming to care for them, using the fact that it is legal as justification. And lastly, it tears into the whole concept of "humane slaughter", by taking the stance that as long as anyone doesn't want to die, no slaughter is humane (in addition, it also talks about how people who work in slaughterhouses are traumatised, which is another reason not to fund them).

All in all, it achieves its purpose just as well as any other social justice issue this show covers, and it's INCREDIBLE to me how Bob-Waksberg and Knight were gutsy enough to cover a social justice topic that is far from the dominant ideology. It frustrates me to no end whenever people say that "this episode was fucked up" because the real life equivalent is just as fucked up! Please unlearn your cognitive dissonance!

2. Character work

It's interesting that you mention Todd in this ask because I consider the episode as being more focused on two other main characters: BoJack and Diane.

BoJack's overall arc this season is heavily connected to Kelsey, because Kelsey reminds him of two people: Herb and Beatrice. The Herb comparisons tend to come later on in episodes like Fish Out Of Water, so I'm going to be focusing on Bea here. Bea's personality is established to us in Brand New Couch, where we see how her abuse and undermining of BoJack has affected him. Chickens functions as a development of this, with BoJack's shitty upbringing meaning that he is naturally drawn to older people who are cold to him. As a result of this, BoJack spends the entirety of this episode trying desperately to impress Kelsey, while she continues to give him the cold shoulder. And here's the kicker: Kelsey genuinely believes he's incredible. Everyone, including us, already knows this, because why else would she have hired him? He never needed to impress her. And as a result, the fact that he spends so much time trying to impress her is deeply tragic and ironic. He doesn't even learn how she feels about him until four episodes later. No opinions change at the end of this episode, because it's the second of three acts in this overall story arc.

Diane's utilitarianism is given much more focus this season than in the previous one. It was briefly touched on in Yesterdayland, but in this episode she is directly forced to face the sad truth that she is a failure in her own eyes. First, she meets Irving, who reminds her deeply of herself when she was younger, and she realises how little she has achieved since she was Irving's age. Next, she gets branded as "the maid" when running away with Todd, thereby causing Irving's opinion of her to lessen as she realises how much she is actually useful for. Finally, the episode ends with the bittersweet notion that actually, Diane didn't do anything. Against her best efforts, Diane was completely powerless to save Becca, and Chicken4Days continues to go even stronger. Nothing is resolved in this arc, with the brief exception that she forms a genuine connection with Todd, as well as earning Irving's approval on her own terms. The issue doesn't go away, and two episodes later she tries again, even harder this time, only to be faced against the entire world, and eventually be forced to give in.

Chickens is a silly buddy storyline that hides a DEEPLY tragic core, in which seeds are spread for two major character arcs for us to uncover.

[luckycheesefoodie321]

PJO CHALICE OF THE GODS FULL SPOILERS REVIEW

Non-spoiler review: Very wholesome. Arguably you could pick this up without prior knowledge of the past series and understand it perfectly fine. A good throwback bite sized adventure with our OG trio, literally adventuring on weekends style. Strictly within New York (and the surrounding suburbs but I know nothing of New York geography).

Such a familiar voice to ease back into and feel so at home with. Percy is Percy and will never stop being Percy.

The domestic demigod scenes were so wholesome and heartwarming, further proving Sally and Paul have created the ultimate safe space and Sally is the best mom to mom and why all demigods, gods, and other traumatised individuals just love her upon meeting her.

A LOT of wholesome interactions within the Jackson-Blofis household, between Annabeth, Percy and Grover, Annabeth and Sally, Annabeth and Paul, Paul and Percy, Percy and Grover. The family was family-ing.

Zeus continues to be supremely disgusting. In such an open way which is the closest true acknowledgement to the mythology we will get in a book series largely targeted to a younger demographic. Rick has come such a long way in how he frames his characters, acknowledging the world they live in, touching base with reality quite often in a way that feels like “yeah ofc Percy would see all this and realise this as a traumatised 17 year old living in New York City”.

At times, Percy’s rampant sarcasm throwing around all this commentary felt a touch on the nose and like “Percy Jackson is an eternal 17 year old but the world around has been adjusted to make sense for the current day and age and not the mid-2000s-2010s”. But this feeling didn’t occur very often.

But Percy looking at Ganymede as this traumatised kid who was plucked from his life to serve as Zeus’s eye candy for the rest of his immortal life. Him embracing Gary, the god of Old Age (who was giving me strong Cupid energy in terms of his metaphors and language use and general aggression), because immortality had never tempted him and being an older demigod who can actually look forward to the future is something to celebrate and cherish. Him feeling guilty about exploding on Elisson (when he was literally so overstimulated and experiencing some major sensory overload and the fear and disorientation that comes with that - like he was literally gonna die so go figure he’d let rip his powers in what was like… the most effective and helpful way possible) bc Elisson was clearly stressed out of his mind and two stressed people exploding on each other, with one being an exceptionally terrifyingly powerful demigod and one being a god who wants peace and quiet and for his river to not be polluted, is not in any way productive or healthy.

Dark!Percy stans tho, you ate. That scene was for y’all. Annabeth tho, just vibing acting as a therapist for Elisson.

But I just think the stories Rick has woven have matured in such a wonderful way, as reflected through his beloved main character, Percy. Percy has taken every turn possibly to make sure he doesn’t turn out like Luke, he doesn’t hit that point between jaded and hateful, that he doesn’t ever stop cherishing and valuing his mortality and the people around him. Him being such a rare example of a positive home life, arguably on both his mortal and godly side (see his slightly more stable relationship with Poseidon than most big three or indeed regular demigod children) allows him anchor himself and remind him exactly why he’s doing what he’s doing.

The fact that he can sway the sentiments of minor gods like Geras, or make those “small waves” with people like Barbara, or help out his friend Grover as well as reassure him of their friendship and bond without hesitation, shows time and again why Percy Jackson is such a beloved character and the blueprint of a good boyfriend. Him being so devoted to Annabeth, so delighted for his mom and Paul having a baby, him being upset about not being there in the early stages of Estelle growing up. I was fully expecting there to be a flashforward to her being born but alas not.

BUT SURELY THIS MEANS THERE WILL BE TWO MORE PARTS. WITH TWO MORE RECOMMENDATION LETTERS, RICK I WILL BE WAITING FOR THE ANNOUNCEMENT.

[forcedhesitation]

I definitely do not have the time for a full essay's worth of commentary on the Casting of Frank Stone, but I definitely could give you that if I did. There is...a lot to take apart there. I am certainly...fascinated...by some of the writing & gameplay choices they made, to summarise my thoughts somewhat vaguely.

A few spoilery comments under the cut.

Like I said, I don't really have the time to offer extensive analysis (a full paper) of the game, but I do want to say a few things.

First and foremost: Do not purchase this game. In the words of Mr. Otzdarva himself: Go and watch someone play it instead. Your play through will be 95% the same as theirs. It is not worth your 50 dollars. If you still want it after you've viewed someone else's playthrough, that is your own right.

I honestly became annoyed with the writing much faster than Mr. Otzdarva did, and at first I thought it was because I was spoiled by BG3's infinitely better writing. But no, it's rather that he was being very patient. He finished with a rather negative opinion of the game, after thoroughly going through it to test just how much control you as the player really have.

I will be fair-- It is certainly a visually stunning game, as far as Supermassive titles go. Much better looking than The Devil in Me. The music is also incredible. And some of the voice acting was well done and added much needed life to otherwise bland characters.

But good grief is the writing utterly nonsensical!! Even if you respect the "a multiverse exists, so anything is possible" fact which is canon to Dead by Daylight itself, it still doesn't make any damned sense. I mean, is it ever explained why there is time travel involved? Or how it is even possible? Did they simply expect people to just assume that Augustine figured out time travel in a certain timeline? Does it have something to do with the Entity, since it can clearly traverse time? If so, why was Sam able to voluntarily time travel to Madi & elder Linda's timeline? Why and how the FUCK is Frank Stone first bound to the mill and then camera using what is clearly the same magic as the horologium, when we know the Entity has not yet been brought to that timeline??

And playing the "anything is possible" card would be fine to explain certain things, I will concede, but it really starts to feel meaningless when you realise just how many massive plot elements are never explained and that none of your choices really have any impact on the ending of the game. The story literally ends the same no matter what you do. And to be fair, I do not think it is a bad ending at all. Barring the corny "trial starting" sound that they jammed in at the last second, I thought the ending was one of the better parts of the game. It works great to make you feel hopeless, and like there is truly no escape from the Entity. I just feel that this format of a "your choices impact the outcome of the story" game was the incorrect format for the story they wanted to tell. Because it truly doesn't even matter if you get everyone killed, or you save everyone-- everything happens the same way and the world's fate is the same.

There are other things that bothered me, too. I thought having Frank Stone appear as this corny, glitchy spectral monster for most of the game was...a terrible choice, both design wise and writing wise. Now, I do not think killing him in the opening was necessarily a bad decision. I honestly thought it was a bold choice that functioned well to surprise the viewer and urge them to continue, so they might discover how the story plays out after the death of the titular character. But keeping him as this ghoulish creature, that honestly looked as though it were from some solo indie developer's first low budget horror game, was awful. He did not feel threatening whatsoever, just wildly out of place in a visual quality sense. I hate the final design much less, it is certainly much more threatening and much, much more gruesome, but it still does not make sense as to why he looks that way. The Entity still had not taken him, why did he appear as this inhuman monster before his entry into the Fog? They should have kept a more humanlike design until the very end of the game, when the Entity arrives. Then, a transformation sequence where the Entity mutates him should have been restricted to the ending where no one from the cast is seen in the Fog, so players at least get something different in that allegedly "unique" ending. After all, if a cast member does get taken, at least you get to see visions of what followed the 1980s storyline.

Also why did Augustine work alone when she is clearly part of the Black Vale? The excuse of "the cult didn't exist yet" doesn't work here, because she can time travel and is fully aware of the multiverse she exists in. Like... I thought elder Linda's mention of secret passages being for staff "so they are seen as little as possible" was foreshadowing for Augustine having fellow cultists aiding her, but it just went nowhere. Another thing that goes nowhere is the baby that Sam can save at the very beginning. Should the baby live or die has absolutely no impact whatsoever on the story, which feels like an enormous mistake to me. That baby should have grown up to be a character that the cast could have interacted with to gain...oh I don't know, some piece of important knowledge, or an item, that could then later change the fate of the cast. This way, the player's choices in the 1960s segment actually have an impact on later gameplay, rather than meaning absolutely nothing.

I'd also love to know why the hell elder Sam was sent alone to prevent this situation from occurring, when the Imperatti (I think they were called? The parents of the Pariahs, or something, right?) would have surely realised the gravity of this situation? Like, how does this make any sense? And this is far from the only moment that makes no sense at all.

Why do Jaime and Robert have almost no relevance whatsoever after the 1980s segment concludes? Robert is guaranteed survival of this segment, as that part of the game is written so that two characters always survive-- be that Linda and Robert, or Sam and Robert. As annoying as Stan was, I didn't hate him because he had great dialogue that pushed other characters to have different dialogue than what we were used to. But it felt scummy that Robert was just given this sad, offscreen death instead of being included in a lot more meaningful way.

Not going to lie, it reminded me of how in Stranger Things 4, Patrick was the one teenager whose trauma wasn't really explored or given the same respect as the others. It's like the writers went, "Guys, guys! It's okay! We still have the other Black guy! This makes our game Diverse, and therefore no one could possibly complain!" Meanwhile, we get an entire cutscene about Madi's nightmares, and elder Linda's movie career and associated trauma is talked about numerous times. But all we know about 2024 Robert is that Stan took advantage of him, and then he later died, utterly miserable. Also, Sam somehow knows about this and he and Stan know one another, despite this Sam being from a different timeline than elder Linda, Madi, and Stan himself.

And Jaime, poor sweet Jaime, he really just feels like he's there as someone they can conveniently kill to shock the player. The first chance he has to die results in a horrible, very graphic death (although not the most graphic in the game by a long shot) that I feel many players will encounter because they see it as reasonable to visit the curiosities shop first, and then to later attempt to save Chris (even though her fate is the same here, regardless of what you do). And even if you should keep Jaime alive through that first confrontation with the spectral Frank Stone, it's not as though his survival impacts following events. He can die again, when fleeing Frank with Bonnie and an injured Linda. Why they have Linda, who has a gaping hole in her shoulder, attempt to pull Jaime up the platform alone while HIS OLDER SISTER just WATCHES is beyond me. But writing his death, whether it be here, or earlier, to have no impact on Bonnie's fate, or any future events, is plain bad writing.

You cannot save Bonnie, no matter what you do. And this scene makes no sense. When Frank grabs Bonnie, Linda points the camera at him, which should work. There really isn't any reasonable explanation as to why this should not work, or should not even momentarily distract him (Which could have led to a different ending where Bonnie lives and Linda dies instead?), because in the storm drain, so much as yelling at Frank causes him to abandon whoever he's attacking to seek out the new target. I suppose, at the very least, 1980s Bonnie's death does serve some kind of purpose in the 2024 storyline, because it serves as foreshadowing for Madi's potential fate. But just like Robert, 2024 Bonnie is given a sad offscreen death and we never really learn about how she or Jaime survived that night at the mill.

And I will say, it just feels shitty from a player point of view, to make it so you cannot save certain characters. Like, I'm sorry, is that a canon event? Where is Mr. O'Hara? Because Madi must be a god-damned anomaly, being Bonnie's daughter!! And Chris- god- Chris who mysteriously travels through time...I really do hate this part of the story because understanding its purpose can only happen if you manage to get the secret ending where she goes through the projector screen and DOESN'T burn and die. Which would require you to not have taken the pocket mirror or given the "protective" amulet to her. This unlocks a secret ending where she goes back in time to the moment where she, Jaime, and Linda were inintially shooting in the mill, right before Sam interrupted them. I took this as the writers trying to show us that there would be one timeline in which Frank Stone is never released (not sure how he ever was in the first place, really), likely saving them from the Entity. But other than the player somehow luckily getting this ending, I really don't see the point of Chris' time travel, because she can also be sent immediately back in the horologium, which does nothing meaningful. And why does it have to be Chris? Why not write it so it could be her or Jaime, so that maybe the player's choice to have her and Jaime breakup or not actually has some kind of impact on the gameplay?

One of the worst things about the game though, and I cannot stress this enough, is how badly the references to DBD are integrated. I love a good reference-- it can serve to add a little playful flair to a moment, or even go so far as to have the viewer look at the piece from a different perspective they had not previously considered. Buuuut... this is only if the reference is done well. And, well, what this game does could hardly be described as tolerable, even. In was so heavy-handed, it felt almost as bad as product placement in a Michael Bay movie. Many of these "references" felt out of place to the degree that someone with no knowledge of DBD would be likely able to pick them out, because they heavily disrupt either the game's aesthetic or the gameplay itself! One generator was funny, and honestly expected, but THREE of those damn things? Clunky, corny, and honestly? Lazy.

Unfortunately, I feel those three adjectives describe how I feel about the game overall. I feel bad for the people who put hard work into making it, because there is potential there for something great. But it really felt as though they were pushed to release this game as quickly as possible, so BHVR could sell us a 50 dollar, five-to-six-hour advertisement for their next DLC chapter. Hard to think anything else, really, when completion of the game is followed by a a literal ad for it.

All I can say is-- I really hope we get 2024 Linda as a survivor. It seems more likely that it will be Madi, but it is possible we could have a two-survivor chapter (unless they specifically outlined in the roadmap that there are no upcoming 2-survivor chapters?).

Madi and 2024 Linda would be cool though. We have no older women as survivors, despite having more than one older man. I think it's about damn time. And I love the mother/daughter bond that can sort of develop between Madi and 2024 Linda in the game.

[naokiscoffee]

What makes Itazura na Kiss: Love in Tokyo so special?

This is probably my twelfth thousand re-watch of this drama, but this is not like all the other rewatches. I have decided to make this one special by using it to analyse the drama in more depth, and attempt to uncover why I love it as much as I do, despite all it’s flaws. I am writing this as I watch the episodes, so it might be considered somewhat of a commentary.

Season 01 Episode 01

Starting off with the first episode, the opening scene is fantastic in my opinion. I love how we are getting introduced to Kotoko in the comfort of her own room, and getting a peek into her hearts deepest wish. I honestly think that this might be what made me like this version of Kotoko from the get go.

However, technically, the actual first scene of the story is the iconic confession scene (if you would even call it that). I am going to go on a tangent here and just say that I am an absolute fan of her letter, but I will get back to that in a later episode.

The way she is nervous and excited before confessing and the way he flat out rejects her before she even has the chance to confess always makes me feel crushed for her, and is the reason why I initially disliked him. But now that I am actually analysing it, it is less harsh than how I’ve always perceived it (or this might just be me trying to explain it away).

Hear me out, consider the implication that he has a whole queue of girls that like him, drool over him and confess to him in school, his reaction/rejection is really not that surprising. Imagine receiving confessions from a bunch of girls, when you just want to live your life in peace … that must get old and tiresome fairly quickly. Additionally, the fact that the whole entire school is talking about the rejection might explain why he didn't accept her letter; had he accepted it (even if he rejected her afterwards), the whole school would probably assume that they were dating. On the other hand it makes me think, why would the whole school be interested in someone confessing? are we back in kindergarten?

We see later on that she still has that card with her. I think that for her, getting rid of it would feel like getting rid of her feelings for him, which is why she holds on to it.

Anyways, I find it quite ironic when Kotoko’s friends tell her “you and Irie are from different worlds” . Their worlds are literally going to forcibly merge under one roof very very soon.

Another random thought I got, like a lot of my thoughts are, was why did Kotoko like Naoki, and not like Kinnouske? I mean he might not be handsome, he might not be smart, he might not be rich, but he is hardworking, talented and most importantly, he liked Kotoko, and was always nice towards her. This version’s Kinnouske has always been my favourite one. I think this version does a good job at portraying him as a three dimensional person, rather than a comic relief kind of personality *cough* Itazura Na Kiss 1996 *cough*.

When I started to pay more attention, I realised that although I do love Kinnouske, I do find him to often do things based on his own feelings, and does not consider what Kotoko wants. For example, I cant help but feel that he is a bit insensitive for being happy when Kotoko is sad after deciding to ‘give up’ on Naoki. This is a small detail, and perhaps I am reading too much into it, but I do feel that Itazura Na Kiss is all about the details. He sort of redeems himself for it by asking his friends to come and help her move, but soon it goes to shit again, which I will come to later on.

I really like — at this point, everything really, but anyways — the reoccurring mentioning of “less possible than getting hit by a shooting star”, which is a kind of teaser to what is to come later on in the show. Although I’ve always thought that the reason for their house being destroyed in this version to be a bit dumb, I admit, I do like the thought and metaphor behind it, so I will turn I blind eye to it. I also find it hilarious how it ended up all over the news.

Kotoko’s extremely optimistic outlook despite everything that happened is perhaps her most charming personality trait. It makes me feel that her optimism is somehow what everything work out for her in the end.

Now, to one of the scenes I dislike most in this story. I am always tempted to skip the first episode altogether to avoid it. And that’s the scene where Kinnouske is collecting donations for Kotoko. Here we see Kin-chan’s good intentions having not so good results. I get the feeling that he does what he thinks is helpful for her, and never once stops to consider her feelings or ask her opinion on it, and the way she gets annoyed with him tells me that she’s not that fond of this either, despite what his intentions were.

Back to Naoki. Looking at the size of that entrance, he could have 100% just walked around Kotoko and Kinnouske and gone in. Heck, following the little pattern we have so far, wouldn’t he purposefully avoid them to maintain a quiet and peaceful life? Now, he did just the contrary and approached them. Considering the fact that by the end of the episode he already knows about the arrangement (of her going to his home to stay there with her father), it would be safe to assume that at this moment in time, he already knows that she would stay in his house. This is supported by his response to her “preferring to die over taking his money”; “are you sure you want to tell me that?”. Therefore I assume that he approaches her out of curiosity.

If you pay close attention to this interaction, you will notice that Naoki did not say one thing that was wrong or out of line. Naoki giving Kotoko the money was not very nice. But more than anything, it was quite confusing. He told her “If I donate this money, you won’t argue with me anymore”. Now, Kinnouske was the one arguing with Naoki, so why would Naoki tell Kotoko that? Is it because he sees her as the most reasonable one, or rather, is it because they’re ‘her’ friends (thus making her responsible for them)?

Kotoko was the one with an explosive reaction in this situation [although she was in the wrong, I like how she stood by her friend eventhough they were fighting a few moments ago (if she realised the previously mentioned point that is).], and was more than a bit mean when saying “do you even have friends?”. Here we see just how much of an opposite to her he is. Instead of having an explosive reaction like Kotoko had, Naoki just finds her reaction amusing and leaves calmly.

Now to when she goes with her father to the Irie household. Naoki’s mother’s (Noriko’s) comment of “you and I seem like we were meant to meet” and the fact that she knows that she’s in the same school as Naoki tells me that he told her about Kotoko; which in turn makes me think that she left a memorable impression on him. Kotoko’s reaction to seeing Naoki is Hilarious, especially te part where she’s too shocked, and is not shy to say “I’m just do surprised … because Iri-chan-san and Irie-kun don’t look alike at all” (I really am starting to realise and understand why Naoki finds her amusing).

Another one of those small details; the way her father scoots away right off the bat when he saw Yuki asking her a question about a kanji character, and pretending to look at a random décor piece kills me (It’s nice to keep in mind; despite how similar Kotoko might sometimes be to her dad, he still has more awareness of his own ‘stupidness’ than her).

I recently watched one of @Machitsuki2 ‘s analysis videos, and like she pointed out, I did in fact notice how Kotoko was going straight to the food and cakes, while Naoki was mainly only sipping coffee (even during breakfast). This will become really important later on.

Lastly, I love the interaction between Noriko and Kotoko when she takes her up to show her her room; Kotoko found a mother she never had, and Noriko found the daughter she never had. They are the first puzzle pieces that fit into each other perfectly.

When Naoki comes in and tells Kotoko that she took Yuki’s room, I get the feeling that rather than an insult it served to make Kotoko understand why Yuki disliked her so much. I might be a bit delulu, but I kind of feel that Naoki did this on purpose? anyone?

When Noriko asks Kotoko “do you like(suki) Sukiyaki?” and Kotoko looks at her (in Naoki’s direction) and confidently answers “I like it! (suki-desu!)” almost feels directed at Naoki. It is in fact the first time he hears her say it. This next part I had to go back and watch once more; Naoki only starts being mean to her when she pulled the bag from him (not wanting his help) and he saw the letter she wrote him drop out of it. I do wonder if he is mean to her because of that letter, or maybe because he thought she was rude towards him?

To be continued…(maybe)

[chameleonspell]

HTDC commentary - 4: falling

[Looking back at HTDC after nearly ten years: comments on lore, character notes, influences, art, whatever. May contain spoilers for later chapters.]

chapter text: 4: falling

These early chapters tend to be short and jump forward in time lot, because I was just skipping to the next turning point, and Iriel isn't spending enough time with other people for there to be much interesting going on between. Especially now, because he's gonna be unconscious for a lot of it.

Much later, certain people would gravely refer to this period of Iriel’s life as one during which he “lost himself”

I had no idea who was supposed to have told Iriel this, later, and I still can't think who would be a plausible candidate. I said this purely for rhetorical effect. I feel like this makes me an unreliable narrator of my own story, though I'm not sure that's technically possible.

His conscious mind, cast adrift on an overwhelming ocean of sensation, became reduced to scattered thoughts and isolated impressions.

Seems like Ire was tripping on nature, before he was even tripping on sugar. I probably should have been less dreamily effusive, here, and saved it for the on-drugs bit, but I just really love the Bitter Cost! You don't need drugs to appreciate the Swamp! Despite the apparent similarities of the Pit being Iriel's shame and depression, Iriel being in the swamp was never at all the same metaphor, though it took until chapter 153 for me to really explicate this properly. Being in the swamp is mostly positive, if soggy. The swamp is comforting and accepting. The swamp doesn't judge.

The spongey texture of the luminous mushrooms he collected obsessively, and the ssschlucking sound they made when he yanked them out of the damp soil to lay them out in order of size and colour on the moss.

I got really into mushrooms (as organism, not drug!) after I wrote Iriel an obsession with them. Be very careful what interests you give fictional characters, because if you identify with them too hard, it's very easy to catch it off them.

All Ire knew was that he had found two small cloth bags of crystalline white powder underneath a crate on a small jetty, and that when he put a finger in and licked it, everything got better.

The story started with a concept and a shape, but no detail - that mostly came out of gameplay, at the start. The moon sugar was a happy accident, finding the bags in a random smuggler loot sack, and realising...  why wouldn't he?

Moon sugar is described as a numbing and euphoria-inducing drug, similar to an opiate. It's also the soft option, compared to its more refined form, skooma, so Iriel's still in the narcotics kiddie-pool, really. That said, we also know these drugs affect TES races differently, with men and mer being affected far more strongly than Khajiit. And we know that Altmer specifically are more sensitive to magic (for better and worse) than other races. Thus, Iriel is having quite an extreme reaction.

he found himself falling: into the glowing colours, into the soft, yielding swamp, and not caring, because when he spat mud and rolled over onto his back, he found himself falling into the sky.

The whole "sad elves falling in swamps" thing is, I admit, a private joke. Because someone once (somehow, unaccountably) found my website by googling for the string "sexy women falling in swamps", and when I saw it in the search referrals, I laughed about it for days.

The night skies of Morrowind are stunningly beautiful, viewed sober. Moon sugar rendered them a religious experience.

Morrowind skies being best skies is just facts. @valtheimm illustrated this scene beautifully:

If I say that he spent long hours lying in the mud, staring at the fractal patterns at the end of fern fronds, I’m sure you can fill in the rest for yourselves. Let’s skip to the end.

I guess I wasn't too consistent with the first person narration, but the narrator was there from the start! It just fell into the background, when other things were happening, or the scene didn't want that sort of external comment, only to re-emerge later, and make people question me about where it came from.

Who is the narrator? Me, just me, the author. Nothing complicated. I was used to books where that kind of thing is common, as a random interjection. I was reading a George Eliot book at the time, and she's always interrupting the action to discuss her characters in first person. It creates a sense of ironic distance, so you don't want to have it all the time, usually you want to be right there in the characters emotions. Other times, you want to add that distance, and deliberately get out of the character's head.

Here, we are watching Iriel flopping about the swamp from a distance, because he's out of his mind, so we are, too. We can go back closer when he returns to himself, try and feel the shock of that with him as much as we can.

Where he came from, the gods were not thought to actively involve themselves in the lives of their worshippers. This was part of what made them so admirable.

TES sets up a whole lot of metaphysical binaries, but the key one is Anu and Padomay, which for our purposes means stasis and change. This comes in a lot more later, but that bog body metaphor is already looking a bit prescient, innit? Here, we can just note that Iriel's home gods are the Aedra, which are Anuic, and therefore both unchanging and incapable of intervening or causing change themselves. Iriel thinks that in Morrowind, where other gods apply, things might be different.

Lying back down and dying was tempting, but Ire hadn’t survived this long by letting that part of his brain have its way.

Iriel is physically unimposing, cries easily and doesn't exactly tick many boxes on the socially-mandated "ideal masculinity" chart. He's scared of everything, because many things have hurt him, and life hasn't equipped him with many tools to defend himself. Does that make him "a weak person", as he himself believes? Or is he strong, for surviving, despite the odds stacked against him, for persisting regardless? What does it mean to be weak or strong, and is weakness even a bad thing? Questions I kept on coming back to, throughout the story.

Iriel is far from morally perfect, and sometimes does selfish things, especially while he's addicted to drugs. There wouldn't be much of a story, if he didn't make a total mess of his life, and have to try and clean it up. But he is strong, in lots of ways, and he will manage to be a hero, in lots of ways. Making him "an effeminate gay stereotype" was very deliberate. Because sure, that's a stereotype, but not for the hero. It's for villains and cheap-laugh side characters, where it gets laced with a lot of other homophobic tropes. Queer heroes, where they exist, tend to be indistinguishable from straight characters, beyond their sexuality - and that's nothing like the real people I know, it's nothing like me or my friends! Femme gay men exist, and are wonderful and diverse and incredibly powerful, actually.

Real-life queer people can't be stereotypes by definition, instead they have to constantly live with how their personal expression is interpreted and policed and refracted into cheap stereotypes by the dominant culture, stereotypes which are then used against them. I wanted to write a character going through that experience, that negotation of an imposed stereotype that has some truth to it, albeit in ways that the people using it against you don't understand. To be up-front about this: I'm queer, but I'm not a gay man, so I was always aware of the danger that I might misjudge something, and screw up. I tried to keep Iriel's specifically gay aspects as grounded as I could in non-fictional people I knew, or had read things by. In the case of real-life friends, I pray I changed enough details on any embarrassing anecdotes I stole that they can't recognise themselves here, and get mad at me.

Iriel set out in search of structure.

The moon sugar was extremely useful, narratively speaking. See, the wonderful thing about an addiction to hard drugs -- this sounds like I'm being facetious, but I've heard heroin addicts say exactly this -- is that it gives you something to do, when your life has no meaning. It forces action. You can't just lie face-down in the swamp forever. You have to go out, and get money, and get drugs. Which forces you, especially if the money part is challenging, into situations.

Playlist pick: Sparklehorse - Spirit Ditch. This is a song to lie in a swamp and get high to. By Mark Linkous, another junkie. Died by suicide in 2010. You always hope when someone writes songs that sad, that it means they have some kind of… answer. A different one, I mean.

next: 5: slide & 6: trap previous: 3: breathe

[sentienttoastah]

Someone mentioned in the reblogs of the last post about their preferred interpretation of Moby Dick and after seeing that I had a little personal thought discussion of my own in my brain and like ahahsjsjs it made me so happy

I just love looking at this book in a more serious way than I usually do so thank you to whoever that was :)

And speaking of, I think from now on I’ll give actual (only occasional!) literary commentary on Moby Dick for these Daily Dick posts because I cannot discuss this book with anyone else except the internet so yes. But for the sake of those who only want to see funky whale drawings I will keep them under the post’s cuts!!

Plus if I didn’t the post would be ungodly long.

Today, I tried to draw a bit of the crew but then I remembered I suck at drawing humans so even more extremely and unnecessarily green shaded Moby instead. Didn’t have much time so I just gave that fella the Outlast camcorder filter treatment. Dw, the cameraman is fine. Don’t like how this turned out though :(

I want to draw whale skeletons tomorrow :D

Anyways, delusional whale ranting time. Be warned this is way longer than my last one and will contain spoilers for those who haven’t finished the book!

So the reblog tag I saw went along the lines of interpreting Moby Dick as not a god but to have the reader doubt that fact throughout the book until the end because of the descriptions we get of him and honestly, yes. I absolutely agree on that for the original novel. It gives us dread while reading!!

Although I will say that if we were to add/accept some kind of mysticism to Moby Dick and see him as not only a whale and as something else, he still wouldn’t be a “god”. Yet at the same time he isn’t exactly a whale either. Or at least not a normal one (that much is clearly obvious I suppose). Like if that’s not a god then what is a god? And if that’s not a whale what is it? It’s all vague!!

One of the many messages or themes in Moby Dick is humanity’s constant struggle against the unknown and the uncertain. We all fear the unknown in one way or another whether we realise it or not. Why else do we dread our future? Or what will happen tomorrow? Or what will happen after death? Because we don’t know.

With Moby Dick we understand that he’s described as a massive white whale who is known to wreak havoc among sailors. But aside from that what else do we actually know about Moby? The only information we get about him all come from 3rd party sources (such as that other whaling crew they met at chapter 54) and then through Ishmael as our narrator. Like Ishmael himself has only encountered Moby Dick once. How do we know if the information he got from others is true?

And even if it was true it still doesn’t tell us a lot about Moby Dick. We don’t understand why he attacks ships, was he angry? Was he in pain? Was it his own form of revenge? Or was he genuinely just trying to mind his own business? We don’t understand how he became so intelligent, or whether it really was Moby Dick that they saw in the apparitions of chapter 51 or was it just a squid like we see in a later chapter? If it was Moby why was he following them?

The vagueness of Moby Dick’s position in being either whale or something else makes him haunting. So in my own interpretation I’d say to keep the final verdict completely undecided. He appears, then disappears. As only one of the many horrors of the deep. Moby Dick isn’t a horror book by any means but it is about the ocean, the ocean just so happens to be scary because we haven’t truly discovered everything it has to offer. Who knows what’s down there?

Also, not only the fear or mystery he gives to us as the readers but to the crew in the story as well. Moby Dick took victory from doing what other whales the crew have hunted never do. He was “unpredictable” as described. That wraps back to the beginning where I mentioned humanity’s struggles against the unknown and uncertain. But yet, even when we fear what we don’t know we are constantly challenging it still. We’re intrigued by it. Ishmael does so by wanting to learn more about whales and go off on more voyages despite his experience the first time around, and the pequod crew or most notably Ahab does so by challenging Moby Dick.

Speaking of Ahab, he himself can also be compared to Moby Dick’s unpredictability. He might not be vaguely god-like as Moby is, but there’s definitely something about him. Ishmael even quotes something about a mad man, a man who has let go of all rationality and morality, to be more dangerous than any beast. Why? Because he will become an unpredictable man. A man who will do anything to get what he desires even at the cost of others. Which is exactly what Ahab does. Humans are already dangerous enough when we understand them but when we don’t understand them? Even more dangerous no doubt.

That’s why his crew feared him after all. They didn’t know and nor did they want to know what would happen if they disobeyed him. Even Ahab doesn’t understand himself as he mentioned in the chapter with Starbuck. Why does he do the things he do? For revenge? For glory? For gold? He doesn’t understand except the fact he knows (or feels?) he has to. And it’s tragic.

In conclusion; aside from accepting differences, democracy, and the dangers of unhealthy obsession or copious amounts of whale anatomy, Moby Dick is also about the unknown and the uncertain. There’s a lot of other instances like Starbuck’s hesitation and Fedallah’s entire existence but I don’t want to drag out the rant for too long and obviously I’m not the first person to come up with this.

But what do you think? And thank you to anyone who actually read all my crap frfr 🙏🐟

[semper-legens]

88. The Ballad of Jacquotte Delaheye, by Briony Cameron

Owned?: No, library Page count: 354 My summary: Jacquotte Delaheye is fighting to establish herself. A mixed-race female shipwright, she knew the odds were against her from the start, but she had her brother and father by her side no matter what. But when an old friend turns traitor, and her father's crimes are revealed, Jacquotte realises she has nobody to turn to but herself. If she is going to have a future, she will be the one to make it. My rating: 3/5 My commentary:

I really wanted to like this one. I really did. A historical fiction novel set in the age of pirates, featuring notable legendary (she was almost definitely not a real person) pirate Jacquotte Delaheye, a mixed-race woman who took over the island of Tortuga and rebranded it as a pirate's paradise? That's exactly my kind of thing! Unfortunately, this fell so short of the mark in so many ways. To say that I am disappointed is, on balance, a bit harsh. There were some things I really liked about this book. But on the whole, it was a much shallower experience than I was expecting for a book with this much promise, and I can't help but criticise it for the ways that it fell short.

For one, I think a lot of the book was far simpler than it needed to be. All of the issues it brought up were reasonably clear-cut, and had easy solutions. Bad people are racist, ableist, homophobic, or sexist, and good people aren't. Jacquotte faces bigotry typical of the time period, but there's less focus on the structural aspect of that bigotry. It's more personified in her old friend, current antagonist Florián, or in the stonewalling Jacquotte receives from white pirates. I don't think that this is necessarily a bad thing in the abstract. After all, I'm not exactly gonna criticise the author, a black woman, for not writing about the horrors of slavery in gory detail, for example. Escapism is empowering, as is reading about a hero like Jacquotte. The reason I call it too simple is more in execution than premise.

For example, when Jacquotte is recruiting crew to her cause, she hits a wall until she reaches out to recruit exclusively women, who flock to her. The thing is, though…white women of the period won't be any less racist than white men, and it's not as though women working at 'men's jobs' was a widely accepted thing in this era. But Jacquotte had no apparent problem being a shipwright (she could do so openly, even dressed as a man) and her women apparently have no problem giving up their normal lives to become pirates. I think I'd accept this book a lot more if it was not set in the real world, if it was more historical fantasy based on the Golden Age of Piracy. But it seems to want to be taken seriously as a work of historical fiction, if an escapist one, and as such I have to take note of the lack of historical authenticity when depicting these kinds of issues, especially when that's what the book is about. If you're discussing the bigotry of the era in a book that's about bigotry, you can't just dismiss it off-handedly as though it wasn't that big of a barrier. Similarly, characters seem to see being gay as no big deal, despite the fact that the men could have gotten hanged for it, and the women at least flogged. They had a more modern view of gender and sexuality than is credible for the time period, that's what I'm saying.

And secondly, the other big problem with the book was in its brevity. It didn't feel long enough to properly become immersed in the world and in the characters as I felt I was supposed to. Characters and ideas are not given a proper introduction, but narrated in the text - told, not shown. I think Florián could have done with a flashback showing him and Jacquotte be closer as children, so that his betrayal hits harder. Jacquotte's friends don't get enough of an introduction, I could barely tell them apart, so when some of them died it wasn't really all that affecting, emotionally. The story rocketed from beat to beat to beat - everything happened in the space of only a few months. It just needed more room to breathe, to relax, to establish its status quos before moving onto the next thing. But alas, the pace kept up, and the story suffered.

But to close, I don't want to be overly negative about this book, because like I said, I still enjoyed it - and if you're of a similar disposition to me regarding books about pirates, I might even recommend it! So here's some things it did that I did like. One, it had Jacquotte be disabled. The author is herself disabled according to her bio, so it's not surprising that she nailed this one. It's something of a prolific issue in more action-oriented books, when the hero takes injuries that should be life-threatening but shrugs them off in an impossibly small amount of time. Especially in this kind of time period, where medical care was a lot spottier than it is today, and germ theory wasn't understood. But Jacquotte is disabled, realistically. She loses fingers, then she loses a leg, and it has a realistic impact on her life. Kudos! I also did enjoy the romance between Jacquotte and Teresa - even though the issues I highlighted above still stand, their love story was very sweet, and their interactions were fun to read. Jacquotte herself was also a strong, engaging protagonist. There was a lot to like in this book…it's just that its issues were too noticable to be ignored.

Next, a boy from the moon comes to live on New Earth.

[carriagelamp]

Had the sort of month where I could feel my books crying out for me while I was at work. They wanted to draw me home into their loving embrace…

My main take away from this month is that if you're going to be anything, by god be sincere

Bury Your Gays // Straight

My hold on Chuck Tingle’s latest horror novel came in just in time for spoopy season, which felt very appropriate, so I read both it and Straight, his horror novella that I hadn’t known about until I was looking up the release day for Bury Your Gays.

Both were quite enjoyable reads, and struck similar chords. He does a really good job of taking a potentially campy concept that’s been done before, and giving a very unique spin — not just in the inclusion of queer themes which can often come across as surface level and token if poorly done, but from the societal commentary that’s woven through both works. The queerness isn't window-dressing, but inherent to the story, horror, and criticism that’s present in both. Another thing they both have in common is that they are also, fundamentally, about hope and community and overcoming horror, which feels very relevant to the topic matter.

Straight is the shorter of the two, and on the surface is a zombie story. Due to vague cosmic horror, a strange thrall comes over straight people once a year that causes them to become rabidly violent towards all queer people. Two years out from the first instance, this story looks at how a group of queer friends deal with the trauma, how society has responded to it (and the fact that this came out 2021 feels very obvious as it looks at a fictional global pandemic), and how the friends themselves brace themselves for this years event. Isolating themselves out in the desert, they batten down and hope to wait for it to pass by relaxing and playing board games… obviously this doesn’t happen as intended.

Bury Your Gays was very different again, and between the two feels like the more ambitious in terms of imagination and story telling. The main character of this story is a partially closeted screenwriter for a major film studio who has had some success, both cult- and critical-success. However he starts to realise that there may be something sinister pulling the strings when he comes face to face with a fan dressed up as one of the horror monsters he had created for the screen. It must be a fan, right?

Both of these are excellent stories, and I appreciate how they shamelessly demand the reader suspend disbelief. They don’t bother over-explaining things, and allow horror to be unapologetically horror, slightly fantastical and campy and definitely scary. I have to admit, neither quite lives up to Camp Damascus, but I enjoyed both quite a bit nonetheless.

Defekt

The sequel (technically midquel?) to Finna, though it honestly stands alone fairly well. Finna, which involved hopping wormholes through fictional Ikeas, was alright, but I definitely think if you want something like that you’d be better for reading Horrorstör by Grady Hendrix. Defekt, on the other hand, I thought was an excellent novella and I’m glad I decided to give it a try! If you’re on the fence about this series, I’d skip right over Finna and just go straight to Defekt.

This novel is about Derek, who is LitenVärld’s most loyal employee. Everything about his life is centred around his work… even after his shifts he goes no farther than the storage crate in the LitenVärld parking lot where he lives. In this way, and many others though, he starts to notice that there are some… inconsistencies between how he views the world and how his coworkers view the world. He has never quite connected to them before, but do they have entirely different manuals? And why is his superior getting so angry about him taking a sick day when his colleagues seem to see no problem with it? Things come a head though when he’s scheduled for a special sort of inventory shift and he finds himself face to face with not just one but a whole team of people who seem to be his direct clones…

Doctor Who: The Day She Saved The Doctor

Like many Doctor Who novels this one is… fine. If you’re in the mood for more Doctor Who and want something easy it’s pleasant, but nothing world rocking. It’s composed of four short stories that bill themselves as feminist tales that focus on Sarah Jane, Rose, Clara, and Bill and how they “save” the Doctor. Honestly my main complaint is that they don’t actually do a great job sticking to this theme. The stories range from rather hamfisted to completely insincere — none of them have a truly impressive “save” but part of that might just be that they’re such short stories that they really have no space to come up with a complex rescue mission. None of them were actually bad, but also none of them stuck with me enough to describe them now…

Emily Wilde’s Encyclopaedia of Faeries

I was disappointed by this one. I feel like I’ve seen rave reviews for this novel, and it’s been on my reading list for ages, but now that I’ve finally sat down to read it I found it… profoundly underwhelming. It seems to be going for a sort of “cozy academia” vibe and I’m sure that works for some people but mostly I just found it… very boring. Maybe I was hoping for something more like a grown up Spiderwick. Emily Wilde was an okay character, but without much depth, and the male character they introduced was uninteresting to me. I ended up giving up on it part way through when I finally gave up on the plot picking up in any significant way. If it does get better, it wasn’t worth the slog to get there imho sorry to all the people out there that love it.

Hakumei & Mikochi v1

I honestly just adore stories about Very Tiny People in a Very Big World. This completely scratched this itch I have for Borrower-esque stories! It’s an episodic manga about the lives of Hakumei and Mikochi, who live together in a tree house, and little events in their life such as shopping in town, camping, and befriending a necromancer! Normal day to day things! I wouldn’t mind reading a second, it was very chill and charming.

Jaws

I honestly don’t know what I expected here. I had never seen Jaws before, but me and my friends have spent so much time swimming this summer to keep cool that we decided it was the time to finally watch it. I see why the movie is such a classic, it was an excellent film! Very well made thriller! And a great end-to-the-summer movie. Then I made the mistake of deciding to read the original novel. I got about eight pages in before they said faggot for the first time. At that point I decided maybe I should read a review or two. Honestly I might have pushed past the homophobia if the novel itself sounded good, but apparently the types of horror used in the novel vs the film are very different. The novel has none of the subtly that the movie uses and is primarily sexual and gross-out horror that was fairly typical of the 70s pulp horror scene. So. I did not continue reading Jaws. I feel like I need a nega-pride flag for this one.

Poison For Breakfast

Really neat novella by Lemony Snicket, and honestly I have a hard time classifying this one. It’s technically fiction, but in a lot of ways feels like it’s not, it’s autobiographical about someone who doesn’t actually exist. It starts with the author receiving a note telling him that he ate poison for breakfast. More than anything, it’s an entire book of philosophy told through the lens and language of Lemony Snicket. If you have any fond memories of The Series of Unfortunate Events then honestly you should read this. Even if you don’t, it’s worth reading. The language is so evocative and it genuinely made me stop and think and squirm with a general discomfort that good philosophising around life and death can bring about. 

Series of Unfortunate Events: The Bad Beginning, The Reptile Room, The Wide Window

I stumbled across Poison for Breakfast specifically because I decided to reread the Series of Unfortunate Events. I’ve been fairly anxious lately (more than usual, which is saying something when it’s me) and I needed something that would hold my interest but otherwise be an easy audiobook to listen to at night or during my morning commute. Since I’ve never actually read the whole series as a kid (they weren’t all out yet when I started and I never got around to finishing it) I decided now was the time. I’m especially excited to read it as an adult because I’m picking up a lot of nuance I simply didn’t notice as a kid, especially related to the Snicket / Beatrice subplot. Lemony Snicket really does now how to write a compelling mystery.

If you’ve never read The Series of Unfortuante Events, it’s got to be one of the best youth novel series out there (I say, unbiased). The narration is unlike anything else I’ve read in any genre, as is the strange world that the story is set in. The series starts with the three Baudelaire children learning that their parents died in a horrible fire that consumed their home, and that they will have to go stay with a distant relative who they have mysteriously never heard of before: Count Olaf. It quickly becomes apparently that the cruel Count Olaf is only after the Baudelaire fortune that Violet will eventually inherent, and though they expose him by the end of the first book it’s only the beginning of the tragic events that will dog at their heels from here on out…

The Bad Beginning, The Reptile Room and The Wide Window are the ones in the series I’ve reread the most, and were very comforting to return to! (also I feel compelled to mention that Tim Curry does the audiobook for The Reptile Room and he uses his fucking Nigel Thornberry voice for Uncle Monty and you haven't lived until you've heard Nigel Thornberry get horrifically murdered in a completely unrelated novel... wild experience.)

Shakespeare: The Man Who Pays the Rent

Easily the best book I read this month. This book was originally meant to be a series of interviews between Judi Dench and Brendan O’Hea about her time as a Shakespearean actor. The interviews took place over four years and were meant for archival purposes before O’Hea realised how much these might be enjoyed by a wider audience — and boy was he correct about that.

The interviews are profoundly insightful about the various roles Dench played, her opinions on the characters and plays themselves very compelling, while also being interspersed with wit, banter, and reflections on everything from her fellow actors, to costuming choices, to green room antics. Dench has a remarkable memory and it means the interviews are able to go into great detail about the specific productions of each play that Dench participated in. I listened to the audiobook and if you have even a passing interest in Shakespeare I really can’t recommend it enough.

The Scum Villain Self-Saving System v2

 I continue down the SVSSS rabbit hole and honestly I have to applaud this series for proving to be more than mindless fluff, which is kind what I had been expecting of it (sorry, I was very biassed against this series). Don’t get me wrong, it is a genuinely hilarious series and an absolute parody of the genre, but it’s more than that which I think is important. Despite being a parody, it’s very sincere in its characters and relationships and story; while the main character may bitch and moan about certain “story tropes” and the “shitty author” who wrote the webnovel he’s found himself in, he’s as much swept up in this world as anyone else is, and the story forces you to acknowledge even the tropier aspects and look at how they would fit into a world where such things dictated every day life.

In this volume Luo Binghe (the “protagonist” who is supposedly destined to kill Shen Qingqiu) returns from his “presumed death” in the Abyss, much earlier than in the original story. Shen Qingqiu is frantic when he finds out, desperate to ensure his back up plan is in place and that he might yet avoid the inevitable death his character is meant to suffer at Luo Binghe’s hands. Of course, nothing is that easy, and Shen Qingqiu has irrevocably changed the plot (and possibly the entire genre) of this story, though he himself may not realise it yet…

Yuri Is My Job v1

So, my earlier comment about sincerity? How both SVSSS and Chuck Tingle’s stories intentionally use a lot of specific tropes and parody their genres? Despite this, both examples clearly love the genres they’re lampshading and ultimately commit to the story they’re telling. They never break away from the story to wink at the audience and say “see how dumb this is?” (cough Marvel) — they are completely embroiled in the worlds they create, they are entirely sincere in the story they’re telling.

And then you have this. Yuri Is My Job is a yuri manga about a protagonist who hides her true self behind a cutesy, beauteous mask. She’s determined to be the prettiest, sweetest, most desirable person in any room — she always wants to be the first pick! And things continue well for her, until she finds herself getting roped in to covering a shift at an usual themed café: one that’s based around a fictional private academy where the “students” work at the cafe and play out little dramas for the customers.

This could have been fun, especially as the protagonists realises that everyone is wearing a mask, and how their performed personalities can differ wildly from their true personalities, but there’s just no sincerity here. It makes me think of Ouran High School Host Club but without any love behind it. OHSHC can get away with a lot, and I’ll suspend a lot of disbelief while reading it, because it’s having so much fun with what it does. This manga seems to suck away any joy by constantly poking fun at its own premise.

So I dunno… YMMV, maybe this is something someone else would enjoy a lot, but it honestly just kind of annoyed me, especially when I sat down to figure out what exactly I didn’t like about it.

If you’re going to be anything, be sincere at the very least. Show me that you love what you’re about.

[lordisitmine]

TTNBD BLOG: PART THREE

Welcome back; as always, spoilers for this week’s installment. Sorry this post is a few days late- I had my hands full with some real-life stuff but it’s the morning of New Year’s Eve and I finally have a day off to sit and write some commentary!

Let’s talk face casts! I don’t normally do real-life face-casts for fictional characters that already exist, but for my OCs it’s kind of necessary, since no one other than me really has a concrete frame of reference for how they look. I tried to draw them of course, but that doesn’t really always translate for me into how they look in my brain. Except for Sybil. My drawing of Sybil was perfect, and the one of her mom as well, that’s exactly how I imagined those two characters, but you can and should disregard the other drawings I did lol. So, if you’re really wondering what Simeon Montrose and Madame LaChance look like, I have good news! I have face casts for them!!

In chapter two, I described Madame LaChance as “the most beautiful woman Lizzy had ever seen” and that’s because I imagined her as the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen, or at least one of them, and an actress I’m obsessed with- Carla Gugino. There’s just something about her face and her body and her energy on screen that just makes me feel insane. She has this hypnotic charming quality that is exactly how I wanted characters and readers to feel when they interact with Madame. Incidentally, if you’ve never watched the Haunting of Hill House or The Fall of the House of Usher, I HIGHLY recommend that you do so. Two incredible horror series, both of them are on Netflix and they’re 8 episodes each. She is in both of them. Madame’s hair and eyes are different colours of course but like. That’s the face.

I always had a face cast for Simeon without realising it. When I described him, I had this fac in mind, and then when I actually sat down and thought “who does he look like irl?” my brain was like “Luke Evans. You were thinking of Luke Evans this whole time.” Specifically, these pictures, because his facial hair and age is similar to Simeon’s, even though Simeon’s hair and eyes are a different colour.

Perhaps now that I’ve actually nailed down my face casts, I can do proper portraits of these characters. On top of the rapidly growing pile of other sketches I want to do OOF.

CHAPTER THREE: WAIT AND HOPE

I thought it was time to have some Sybil backstory/POV. The fact that she’s half-demon and has some abilities from that is going to be a much more significant part of the story as we continue, and as a minor spoiler/teaser I will tell you that she had no idea what her dad actually is or what that makes her. Shhhh it’s a surprise for later. Obviously I’ve revealed that she’s able to see the spirits of the dead, but I’m gonna keep her other abilities hush-hush for the time being, she doesn’t even realise she has some of them, and I’ll get into the mythology of half-demon children a bit later. I promise I won’t leave you hanging.

We have a literary reference as a title again! This time it’s from The Count of Monte Cristo by Alexandre Dumas, which is a story about faking your death and getting revenge, among other things. A little on the nose maybe- but it amused me, so I included it. I liked the idea of Ciel having read it in English and having this visceral reaction to it, and then seeing if the context of the line “all human wisdom is contained in these two words- wait and hope” had a different context or meaning that made it less stupid (to him) in French, since he lives in France now, and the book was originally written in French, and things sometime get lost in translation.

Also, I’m half-accidentally half-intentionally mirroring his and Lizzy’s narratives in this story, and she was reading in the last chapter, so it just fell into place when I was trying to give him something to chew on with his angst in this chapter. Don’t worry, that’s the last literary reference I have planned for now, lol.

Let’s talk about the ring!! Ciel’s ring from the series is based on the Hope Diamond, an actual diamond that was owned by many famous people who all ended up suffering horrible deaths/trauma. Life is funny that way, but of course, people decided that it must be the diamond that was cursed. In Ciel’s case, it was a Phantomhive family heirloom, and all of his ancestors who wore the ring ended up dying horrible deaths. Including him.

So, naturally, Sebastian had to take that and turn it on its head. I already reblogged the post on my blog (scroll down a little), but Tumblr users noirserviteur and azuresins designed, 3D printed and then cast in sterling silver (with real stones I think) a replica/depiction of Ciel’s ring, which I used as reference images for my design. I changed the stone, since it is a different, but similar, diamond- the stone in my version is circular, to fit the engraving of the contract seal.

Sebastian giving Ciel a ring is another way to like, show possession, because this motherfucker is possessive. Also, the original ring was a symbol of a curse that was haunted Ciel in his mortal life. This new ring is sort of Sebastian’s way of saying “no one gets to curse/haunt you forever except me” which is super romantic. Not that either of them sees their bond as a curse, but like, it’s an eternal, unbreakable attachment, which is sort of like a curse in some ways I guess. A Super fun, romantic curse.

And they’re dancing! The song they’re dancing to is Waltz no. 19 in A Minor, b.150, OP- Posth (1860) by Frederic Chopin. It’s always a fun writing exercise to describe music as the characters are hearing it, and I hope I did a good job nailing down the vibe. These two are very Chopin-coded to me, whatever that means. I listen to a lot of classical/instrumental music when I write, and while I haven’t made any playlists, I’m partial to these ones on Spotify when I work on this story specifically. This one is one I find to be specific to Lizzy & Sybil. I am a huge music person; I can’t do anything without my tunes.

There… was not supposed to be a sex scene in this chapter. I honestly hadn’t planned on writing one, but oh boy howdy did this thing want to be written. It’s probably the fastest I’ve ever finished a sex scene (it normally takes me AGES to write porn). And it ended up being super hot (if I do say so myself). I guess these two just really wanted to fuck lmao.

Now that the contract is over (or not over, now that it has morphed into something else), Ciel and Sebastian aren’t really master and servant anymore. So, I love flip-flopping on the power dynamics between them, especially when it comes to sex. When Ciel “orders” Sebastian around in this scene, Sebastian doesn’t have to obey, but he chooses to. What would have once been a tangible command is now just role-play and it’s still so fun to write!

The Christmas stuff was fun to write too. As I said, I’m (sort of) intentionally mirroring Ciel and Lizzy’s story lines here, so I wanted Lizzy to get some jewellery too. I browsed through listings for necklaces of the time and found this one, which I thought was just perfect. I would 100% buy it if I had 1,450 US dollars lying around. I think blondes look really great in green, and Lizzy’s eyes are green, so despite her colour scheme in the anime being super pink and girly I’m putting her in a lot green in this story *glances at the next upcoming chapter). I have multiple party-type events lined up in this one so for you purists out there, don’t worry, she’ll be back in pink eventually.

I grew up in Canada, so ice skating on ponds and lakes local rinks, be it for figure skating or hockey or just for fun was a big part of my childhood. I have a lot of fond memories of ice skating with my family and I thought hey, they probably skate on the Thames and the Sienne rivers, right? We Ontarians do that in Ottawa when the Ottawa river freezes up in the winter. I didn’t even bother looking it up to see if they did it/do it in Europe, I just decided that I was going to make it happen. I did, however, make sure I was referencing ice skates as they existed in that time period. I’m not a complete lunatic.

And of course, Lizzy having to teach Sybil how to skate means they’re going to be put in Physical Proximity mwahahaha. The image of Lizzy getting kissed on the cheek by a pretty girl and falling over was burned in my brain and refused to leave me alone until I wrote it. Their romantic relationship is a slower burn but it’s starting to burn brighter from here on out.

I’ll leave the commentary sparse for the last couple of scenes- I don’t want to accidentally give anything away by talking too much about the crime scene or the coalition meeting. Have you figured out who the victim is?? Do you think you might know who’s leading the coalition cult since Sir Arthur kicked it four years ago? Much to think about… until next week xoxo gossip girl

lord_is_it_mine

[spinningbuster98]

The Omega nest is a genuinely creepy area: it's noticeably darker than others and has a legitimately creepy theme that doesn't exclusively consist of just beeps. The absence of many enemies here, which may emphasize the fact that this is the territory of the planet's apex predator (and a detail which Samus Returns completely missed, among other things), truly drives home the point of this being a dangerous place

I just hope you know that Omega Metroids have a weak spot on their backs so as to save missiles otherwise you'll either have to furiously grind for them or backtrack aaaaaall the way back for a Missile Recharge. Cute

The final Metroid Nest is genuine horror material: really creepy music, not a soul in sight except for the Metroids, that fucking scene where you see that Metroid Egg and then suddenly the Metroid Counter jumps up with that unsettling jingle playing, it's all fucking fantastic stuff Then there's the fact that most of this place is artificial. Is it a lab? The Queen, the oldest member of the species and the only one capable of reproduction, is in a lab? Is it just a coincidence? Are the Metroids an artificially created species? Are they connected to whatever civilization keeps making those Bird Statues?. Metroid as a series is often praised for its environmental storytelling and Metroid II is where it truly starts

The Queen herself is another shit fight, a battle of attrition where you'll hope to kill her before she kills you. The secret of rolling into her mouth to lay bombs in her stomach helps a lot but you're not gonna know about this on your first playthrough!

Then we see the Baby hatch and everything about the ascent on the planet's surface, with that peaceful music and the stars in the sky is really memorable and beautiful. Of course as we all know Samus Returns dropped the ball big time here (though not with the actual hatching of the Baby, that was done justice and is in fact the best version of that event across both remakes and the original), while AM2R gives us a beautiful night sky to contrast how it was daytime back at the start of the game to truly indicate how long Samus' mission has taken. This is where Samus officially becomes a character: before this she was just little more than another player avatar, much like Link. Here however she's making her first indipendent choice that goes against what the game up until this point had been about

So I guess there's one last thing to discuss, one bit of discourse which I no longer see people bring up thankfully but one that has always grinded my gears: is Metroid II a commentary about genocide of sorts?

I mean...it technically is a game about genocide in the sense that the goal is to kill every Metroid on the planet

But is it an actual THEME? Does the game comment on it in any way?

Many people seem to think so, saying that the game is one big commentary on how what Samus is doing is essentially evil and her sparing the baby at the end is her realising that.

I've seen people claim that Samus Returns, by making the Metroid battles cooler from a visual standpoint through stuff like the Melee Counter spits in the face of this theme by making the act of killing the Metroids fun, thus "romanticizing genocide"

No really

That's a take I used to see floating around on Youtube and the Subreddit back when the game was new

Let's put it like this guys:

does any other game in the franchise act like what Samus did in this game was bad or evil or problematic or whatever?

Because I've seen people act under the impression that only starting with Other M did the series start treating the extermination of the Metroids as a good thing

No

It has always been treated as a good thing by the games at best, as a neutral thing at worst

Does Samus show any sign of regret about what she did when she recounts this game's events in Super's prologue? No

Does the game try to paint the cloned Metroids in Tourian, or the Mochtroids in Maridia, who are literal failed experiments living what is essentially a miserable life having being dumped there by the Pirates for being failures, in a sympathetic light? No you kill them all just like any other enemy, you're even forced to in Tourian, and the game only focuses on the Baby because that's the one Samus cares about

Does Samus show any regret for her actions in Fusion during any of her monologues? No. Sure that game's events are set into motion due to her actions in Metroid II, but if we're gonna use the argument of "If Samus hadn't killed all the Metroids, thus screwing up SR388's ecosystem, then the X would never have returned" then we should also take into consideration that, had the Metroids never been exterminated, then the plethora of parties trying to use them for their evil ends (which includes a segment of the Federation) would have had even MORE legs to stand on, so the argument of practicality is of no use here I'd say.

Moreover Samus sure as shit doesn't cry for all those poor little cloned baby Metroids that are blown up when the BSL's secret lab self destructs: that's technically another genocide happening, yet all Samus and the general plot focus on is how fucked it was of the Federation to bring back the Metroids

Do the Prime games ever try to paint the Metroids in any sympathetic light in any of their scans and whatnot? Not to my knowledge, you blow them up with no second thought

Now I'm not saying that the series "encourages genocide" or whatever, or that one can't make theories about this or that

But just because a media has an element that would logically be considered questionable, especially in a realistic context, that doesn't always mean that it takes a specific stand on it

Sonic the Hedgehog features a bunch of teenagers and kids fighting against an evil scientist who has no qualms about using lethal force, and this is often shown in very lightearhed, fun ways, with the characters often throwing jokes around and laughing

Does this mean that Sonic "encourages child endangerment" or whatever? Same deal with Mega Man who is a literal robot child going all alone against a mad scientist, killing other robots such as himself, which for all intents and purposes should be traumatizing in several ways yet it's never brought up

I know that saying "it's not that deep" is often arrogantly used to stop interesting discussions...but in this case it truly is not that deep

It's not that the aforementioned series encourage child endangerment or whatever, they're highly fictionalised! It's not to be taken literally

Similarily the Metroids are not an actual animal species, at most they borrow some general elements from insects like ants or bees, but they are 100% made up, so if the games don't put any real emphasis on the fact that killing them all should by all means be very questionable (because it should) and actually kinda says that it was for the best sometimes, then it's not that the games are saying "yeah killing whole animal species is cool bro!", it's simply not to be taken too literally.

Besides Metroid on the whole is not a particularily complicated series.

No I am NOT saying that "lol it's just a bunch of pixels with no story", or that there can't be hidden depths in the narratives (there are), I'm saying that, as with all Nintendo series, the plots are generally rather simple and "in your face", usually standing out for the ways in which they are told rather than the actual texts

The Prime games have great worldbuilding and the scan logs bring a whole lot of depth, but the actual stories are really, really simple good VS evil affairs. Metroid is a simple series, it never deals with complex ethical or philosophical questions such as "is it right to kill an entire alien species just because there are evil beings out there who wanna use them for their own gains? What fault do the Metroids have in all of this?"

Would it be interesting to have a game that tackled with these issues? Maybe, though I'd have my reservations

And honsetly do you really think that a 1991 Nintendo game for the Gameboy would actually try to tackle such an ethical quandry? Really?

As I said earlier: not even Super followed this idea and that's the direct sequel!

And let's not say "Yeah but Super was directed by Sakamoto, who didn't work on Metroid II plus he's a hack"

Super Metroid's producer was Makoto Kanoh

Kanoh was the scenario writer for the original Metroid and a designer for Metroid II

He was basically Sakamoto's boss during Super's development and had worked on Metroid II. Plus Super was also supervised (to my knowledge) by Yokoi. You'd think that if it truly mattered to Metroid II's story that Samus' actions in that game be framed as truly harmful and problematic then at least one of them would've insisted about having Super follow up on that in some way

So if you're gonna criticise some games for not putting the events of Metroid II under a really negative light then do it with EVERY game after this one, not just with Samus, Returns or Dread or even Othe M (as much as it pains me to defend the latter)

Or y'know, don't take it too seriously :/

[ctheathy]

Yandere Hawt Saus Headcanons

Yandere Hawt Saus x Reader

Yandere Headcanons

Author’s note : Yeah, I’m gonna be that one weirdo that writes xReader for Chikn Nuggit. What r you gonna do dude, I’m too far gone.💀

You and the cast are either both human//gijinkas or animals.

Potential ⚠️TWs⚠️ :

Bullying // harassment • Guilt tripping • Begging • Superior mindset • Possessive+delusional behaviour • Abandonment trauma • Isolation • Threats+blackmail mention • Hawt Saus has a mental breakdown lmao

Ah yes, one of the, if not the most distinctive character from the Chikn Nuggit series. He’s known to be quite the cruel squirrel with a vile blabbermouth, having no shame whatsoever in speaking his mind completely and occasionally throwing rude commentary left and right. He doesn’t understand that his poor choice of words affects others and this has caused him to become quite the ... Disliked character in both the cast fromout viewer point and among his witnesses themselves, often showing pure hatred in his screentime appearances. But even so, there’s been one particular episode that made us look fromout a new and unexpected perspective; one that has implied that he does in fact have his reasonings behind why he behaves the way he does. This point of view has also made me believe that he’d be one of the easiest characters among the group to grow these dependent and complicated feelings torwards somebody, who unfortunately, just so happens to be you.

Right at the start of you two meeting one another, Hawt Saus has had... mixed feelings about you. At first glance at your excessive sweetness he had already made you out to be just like all the others around--being just as similar like those absolute weirdos, causing him to act just as cruel as he would torwards any other acquaintance in his circle. But instead of backing off and avoiding the red squirrel at all costs like the others would, you would instead never quit showing him your neutral and basic kindness you’d give the others. I can see him being both confused and in severe denial about it at first, not believing a speck of the gentle demeanor you had to offer. Literally nobody wanted nor tried to get along with him, it would be considered a miracle for his doing if somebody only stuck around for a day or two. You must be trying to define him as some fool, aren’t you? tricking him only to leave him in the dust right afterwards.

But there’s gonna be some point where he cannot deny these desires for tenderness any longer, not caring much anymore whenever they end up being false or not. He might come off as quite picky and judgemental in any connections he might face, behaving like he has seemingly high standards; when truthfully saying, all he genuinely wishes for would be one singular being who doesn’t leave him after a noticeable while of sticking around, after seeing how truly awful he can get at times. Or perhaps it’s even quite the opposite. After all, he did always have an imagery of being this confident and self centered animal who cannot be brought torwards insecurity no matter the costs. It’s almost close to becoming realism in his own head, creating an entire different identity in behaviour to try and deny the fact that his current biggest fear would be any other realising he is realistically just as soft as they are. The catch being that despite the urges growing rapidly in the back of his own head, he could never grow close with another without the cracks of his made up facade slowly starting to show.

When getting close with somebody, I cannot picture him as much else other than severely possessive; wanting nothing more then to be your favourite person and actively fighting those who try getting close to you whenever he’s around. Which is also something you’d rarely see again when emotionally getting to him, personal space. He’s always holding onto atleast some part of your figure, hugging you from the side like it’s his only support, giving you ramblings and gossip to no end, literally forcing himself into your comfort zone, and for anybody else who just so happens to be around those particular personal moments? Well, they’ll be the unlucky one for the day that will figure out what it’s like to have upset a trashmouth, leaving you to profusely apologise.

Talking about the others, they are also to gain a whole lot more garbage from him now that you’ve came around. He knows that you’d be one to get along with them well, realising how wonderful of an entity you truly are. Due to this, he’d actively push you away from them and when contact with you does occur, he’d easily be one to either just threaten the bunch himself or go after any potential blackmail he can get his grabby hands on. Anything to keep them on an acceptable distance between you. As Sody himself has said, he’s unpleasant; but it had unexpectedly multiplied even more so when you got into the picture-- He may has had his troubled emotions with you at first, but I assure you those got swapped around real fast after you just happened to reduce his emotional desires to such a great extent.

Though when pushing his behaviour aside and if the mutual contact is coming fromout the darling themselves, however; he might already be pushed far enough to snap, having caused in quite some embarrassing moments occuring outside the house. When doing so he feels betrayed in a way, his insecurity blinding the common sense in his mindset and throwing all logic out of the window in order to keep you with him. It’s irresponsible to act off emotions, he knows this, but he is desperate. He views you as the only one who could ever legitimately love him the way that you do, and he doesn’t plan on having limits in order to keep things that way.

There’s one you’d already remember in particular. All you did was hang out with Chikn on a weekend afternoon without telling him, all had went just fine until the two of you had surprisingly walked into him on the way, truthfully assuming it was already him looking for you in distress to begin with. There was quite the offense in his tone, wanting to know why you had been here, with nobody but that dog for that matter. After calmly explaining the meetup the two of you were having together and not seeing a big deal with it, you were ready to turn around and continue off with your day. But Hawt Saus? He went berserk- Everything honestly became rather blurry after that, but you remember him screaming at the both of you at the top of his lungs with teary eyes, catching the attention of many bystanders and publicly humiliating not only you, but himself. There even was a point where he was close to getting physical with Chikn aswell, and you were sure if it wasn’t for his size, he surely could have made some serious damage; little paws grabbing, scratching and pulling onto the fur in a blind rage, leaving the pup mortified. In the end it was you who had to literally pry him off, kindly asking the dog for cancellation with the plans from before and in the meantime dragging the squirrel off with you in order to have a very serious conversation about this.

Very much a crybaby. Despite how minor his responses might be torwards any other’s complaining about his worsened demeanour, usually just taking them with a grain of salt, your opinions and comments have a whole lot more effect on both his self confidence levels and thought processes. When scolding him about his inappropriate behaviour, clearly showing your unhappiness about his unwell intentions; he breaks. He’s absolutely had his moments like these before, but they were nothing in comparison to this breakdown. Literally crumbling to the floor and latching himself onto your feet, going as far to beg for your forgiveness in order to get those little bits of kindness back you’ve so cruelly ripped away from him. You knew there was a part of him guilt tripping you, but you couldn’t get yourself to say no to his now shattered state. And that fact alone made you question yourself if it was truly the best idea to have treated him as lovingly as you always had,

Much less having agreed to a legitimised relationship with the unstable squirrel.