#i have next week but i know myself which means i basically have 3 days where i actually do something
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oh wow I have so much to do and so little time to do it time to see how much I can reasonably avoid doing to ensure I don't die of a stress induced heart attack 🫶
#i hate you alevel art#you fucking suck 🫶#“exams start the monday you get back” hit me with a car 💞#no revision no materials nothing but hopes and dreams#i have next week but i know myself which means i basically have 3 days where i actually do something#teacher wants us to do something that isn't on stretched paper honey that needs money i am NOT willing to spend#“make it interesting” have you considered watercolour doesn't really work on board#“canvas” you want it like a3/4 me and what money babe#art uni is more free right you can just do more of what you want creative freedom style right#bue waffling
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hello can i get a giyuu x reader angst , like where giyuu had an argument with the reader , but it turns out the reader is pregnant? you can add any other plot twist cus i love plot twists thank you !<3
Almost
Tomioka Giyuu x Fem! Reader
He had lost a lot of people in his life by his own making. He refused to lose you too.
Tags: pregnancy, arguments, blood mention, abortion mention (no actual abortion), hurt/comfort Word count: 2k
Masterlist
AN: Hope you enjoy it! I actually had a WIP of an argument + making up before, so I got to revisit it and add the pregnancy spice you asked for hehe~ Huge thanks to my dearest beta reader @glitchtricks94 for helping me clear it up (o゜▽゜)o☆ another huge thanks to @starrierknight for brainstorming with me
Giyuu’s injuries weren’t worse than normal, but that didn’t stop you from fretting over him – especially when he had a gash on his cheek, the same cheek you kissed a week ago when he was leaving for his mission. It made your chest feel tight to see his pretty face marred by demons. Your grandmother was surely rolling in her grave that such a classical beauty was hurt, the thought spurred you on to care for him.
No detail went unnoticed under your eye. He seemed tired, as usual, and a little stressed, as usual too - just a regular morning after slaying demons.
You sat him down at a western style dining table with a medical kit and supplies to clean the cuts with next to you. Your hands shook slightly when the damp cloth wiped away grime and blood, your lips pressed together when a fresh drop of blood oozed from the wound.
“You need to be more careful,” you murmured as you worked, the statement automatic, thoughtless.
Giyuu’s whole body stiffened. “Or what?”
You froze in place, your hand dipping the cloth in warm water. This was a new tone of his – a new way words could cut you if he wanted you to hurt: it was rough, serrated, mean. “What?”
He rolled his shoulders back a little, rearing for a fight. “You heard me the first time.”
You clenched your hand, leaving the rag in the water, and turned to fully face him. “Why are you so defensive? I meant no harm,” you replied, trying to calm the storm before it fully set in.
He stood abruptly, nearly knocking the chair he had sat in over. The look he shot you sent your heart galloping in your chest, from fear or indignation, you didn’t know. “You’ve done enough. Leave me be.”
Did he like you like this? Was the hurt in your eyes enough? That was – did he like the way it glinted, the way it caught the light? Hours upon hours spent on making your suffering pretty, and perhaps now it would pay off. He could cut you down into something pretty if he wanted to, and maybe you would let him.
Before he could walk away, before he could twist the rusty blade, you rose from your seat, “I have done nothing to warrant this tone with me, Tomioka Giyuu. Now tell me-“
"Stop bothering me," he cut you off, heading towards the door.
A violent whirlpool of emotion threatened to drown you, and for once, you let go. “You- you oaf! I can’t stand you being like this! What’s wrong?”
“Nothing is wrong. Everything is perfect,” he snapped, voice like a viper and words just as stinging. “Or at least it would be if I didn’t have you nagging me every time. I’ve been through this enough to know what to do with myself. Unlike you who sits here all pretty and safe and fat, ready to wrap a bandage and call it a day.”
You flinched, for the first time in your husband’s presence, tears springing from your eyes, which you rapidly blinked away. What have I ever done to deserve this? You had waited on your hands and knees for this man every time he’d come home battered and bruised and broken and put him back together, without complaining, with love. This was what you got in return for your devotion? Pretty and useless. That’s what he basically called you.
Your throat tightened. You hardly had the energy to respond so you turned away and just… left. You couldn’t continue listening to Giyuu when he sounded so much like… like Shinazugawa. Whatever was bothering him best be left alone to cool off before you could talk about it.
You nodded to yourself as you packed an overnight bag. Some time apart would be good for you both. You knew he wouldn’t be sent out on a mission for a few days again, since he just returned from a longer stint, so you would come back tomorrow and try to resolve it then.
It was time for a check-up with a midwife anyway.
He had really said all that.
And you left.
Your eyes filled with tears, and you left, as you should. He had treated you like garbage.
There was no going back, no taking back his idiocy, no swallowing back his words.
‘Let's stop fighting’ was at the tip of his tongue. ‘Come here and let me hug you’ nearly spilled from his lips. ‘I'm sorry, I'm so so sorry’ choked him up as you walked away.
He knew you were right. You did nothing wrong.
He felt nothing.
He was worth nothing.
Giyuu picked up the shards of his heart up and finished cleaning up his wounds. A short bath later, he walked into the kitchen to find food already made for him, now long gone cold. It just reminded him how much he butchered his relationship by what – stress and tiredness? A demon taunting him right before its death? If so little shook him up, did he even deserve to be with you?
A sharp pain pierced his heart at the thought of leaving you. His selfishness truly knew no bounds, hurting you and putting you in danger for being a Hashira’s partner yet wanting you to remain by his side.
After eating his portion, he made tea and waited to see if you would join him. There was no movement in the house at all; were you in your shared bedroom, laying in bed as you were used to when upset? He would give you time to cool off, give himself time to breathe, and then he would approach you with a clearer head. He needed to apologize.
One hour. Two hours.
Had he angered you so much that you wouldn’t come out? Your spats had never lasted this long.
The tea had long grown cold, but Giyuu couldn’t bring himself to make more. There were no sounds coming from the house.
Were you even here?
The thought jolted him from his seat, quickly walking to your shared bedroom.
“Love?”
Nothing.
“I’m coming in.”
He somehow expected it, though he’d hoped against it. You weren’t there.
Already turning to check all other rooms, he called out your name. His pace was brisk, his throat starting to clog up with a familiar emotion. Claws of anxiety sunk into his stomach, his heart beat like a drum, his lungs struggled to take in air. You weren’t there.
Where were you?
He ran through the whole estate and back two times but came up with no clue as to where you were. Panic mounted, crawling up his spine like a spider he couldn’t shake away.
Giyuu slammed the gate of his home open, very nearly running into his elderly neighbour.
She was hardly phased, though confused by his frazzled visage. “Tomioka-san? What’s got you in such a hurry, young boy?”
“Have you seen my wife?!” he’d never been as rude as he was now, but you were gone so what was he supposed to do?
“Your wife? Oh, that’s right, I saw her. If I recall, she was on her visit… hmm, who was she going to visit?” his neighbour mused. Giyuu waited with all the patience Urokodaki beat into him, that was – quite impatiently. “Oh right! A midwife! I was very surprised when-“
He stopped listening, or rather, he stopped hearing anything going on around him. A midwife? A midwife was a profession with a very specific set of skills for a very specific group of people… Did that mean-?
“Isotani-san,” Giyuu interrupted, breathless, eyes wide with surprise. “Are you saying my wife is pregnant?”
She squinted at him, “You didn’t know?”
It felt as if lightning came from clear skies and struck him. Every nerve itched with some kind of energy telling him to move.
He later vaguely remembered asking his neighbour for the direction you left in, but at the time, he saw nothing, and felt everything all at once.
Were you going to… terminate it? Were you going to tell the midwife, and would she terminate it? Was the midwife going to terminate it and help you move on? Would you move on without him?
Thoughts racing, heart galloping, Giyuu felt feverish. He stumbled back, deaf to his neighbour’s concerned questions as he turned the way you had left just hours ago. One foot in front of the other, a step by step, getting faster with each meter he passed until he was running nearly as fast as Uzui, desperation spurring him on.
Kanzaburo flew overhead, and when he cleared the village bounds, he called out to get the crow to lead him to you.
Time was of the essence. He may have botched his life, but he was too selfish to let go of you. He wanted, no- needed to get you back. You were his love, his soul, his home. He wouldn’t be able to go on if you left.
He felt crazed, desperate, as he ran.
Giyuu would have been faster had he not have to follow Kanzaburo but he wouldn’t be able to find you alone. He felt as if he was racing against the time. Any minute now, you would be in a the midwife’s home, waiting for the release from his clutches; any second now, you would sever the only tactile link you had to him – your baby.
His baby.
He swore, his mind supplementing him with your argument. It had been all his fault, he’d just lashed out because of nothing, like a toddler throwing a tantrum. How childish he’d been – and he was supposed to be a father? No, he wanted to be a father. He’d fix himself and he’d support you and he’d even carry you your whole pregnancy, so you didn’t have to walk. He’d learn to cook more than the basics to feed you and your baby.
Please, let me be in time.
Then he saw you.
The whole world seemingly froze, grey and empty save for you.
You were a pearl amongst rocks, still as beautiful as the first day he saw you, as beautiful as you were on your wedding day.
Giyuu didn’t stop, even as you turned to him in surprise when he called your name. He didn’t stop until he had you in a soul-crushing hug, tight and near bruising – one he immediately eased up on, since he didn’t want to hurt you.
“Calm down, Giyuu! What’s going on?”
“D-don’t-“ he stumbled over his words, still frantic and breathing heavily, “don’t get rid of it!”
You were confused, “Get rid of what?”
His hands were heavy clutching onto your clothes, his frame nearly hanging onto you. “Our – our child,” he gasped out. “Isotani-san told me you were- she told me you were pregnant.” His words came out in a rush, eyes wide as he stared at you, his pupils darted all over your face for a sign of – of anything, be it forgiveness, anger, sadness, anything.
Looking at him in such a state, near quivering in his spot, you felt powerful. Giyuu was at your mercy for once. You could topple him as easily as a sandcastle, crush him under your boot and grind down to juice him of all that made him who he was. It made you realize you held just as much power over him as he did over you. Oddly, you felt reassured - of his love, of your love, of the relationship.
Heart hammering in your chest, cheeks filling with warmth, the adoration you carried in your heart spilled over and pooled in your stomach. You hungered for more of this power, positively starved to sink your teeth into him and drain him.
But that could wait.
“I am indeed pregnant,” you confirmed, your hands resting on his arms, thumbs stroking soothing lines over his muscles. You paused, letting the seconds painfully stretch out, “I’m not terminating the pregnancy.”
His whole being sagged with relief. Giyuu fell to his knees in slow motion, his hands sliding down your yukata to rest over your hips, now clutching the fabric there with a weak grip. “Thank gods…” he rasped out, his breathing stuttered as if holding back sobs. “Please, love, let’s not- I apologize – I apologize for everything. I shouldn’t have lashed out. I was wrong…”
His impossibly blue eyes met yours, the surface glistening with unshed tears, his guilt bitter but his plea tasting sweet on your tongue. Saliva gathered in your mouth, wanting more.
Did that make you a bad person?
“You dismissed my concern,” you stated, fighting back any expression wanting to take over your face. “You said I nag you. You called me useless.” And pretty, your mind supplied. He’d also called you fat, so there was that. “I didn’t deserve that.”
Giyuu’s lips were downturned, “You didn’t. I was an oaf.” His admission did nothing to soothe the ache he’d given you. “I’m willing to take whatever punishment you deem worthy of my misdeeds.” He let go of your yukata, smoothing over the wrinkles he made. He didn’t know what to do with himself, trying not to fidget as you rolled his actions and words in your mind.
“There will be no punishment,” you told him. If possible, he became even more tense, the need for absolution great. Perhaps no punishment would be a punishment of itself. “But don’t think you’re entirely forgiven. I accept your apology; you however have to make up for it your own way.” You studied his earnest expression, brows slightly furrowed as he started thinking about ways to win you back. It shouldn’t be too hard. He did it once, he could do it again.
Giyuu slowly stood up, taking your hands in his. “I won’t disappoint you, love,” he said resolutely, kissing your fingertips softly. He adored you, with his whole heart, mind and body.
Everything would work out – just like the ice always melts and clouds disperse, a typhoon passes and the sea calms.
“If you pull this act again, I’m leaving.” You glared at him for a second to get your point across. Giyuu nodded and pulled you in for a sweet kiss.
He almost lost you and he wouldn’t make the same mistake again.
Thanks for reading! Reblog or comment if you liked it :3
Networks: @enchantedforest-network @themovingcastlez
#demon slayer#kimetsu no yaiba#tomioka giyuu#giyuu x reader#giyuu x y/n#giyuu x you#tomioka giyuu x reader#tomioka giyuu x you#tomioka giyuu x y/n#kny x reader#kny fanfic#kimetsu no yaiba x reader#kimetsu no yaiba fanfic#demon slayer x reader#demon slayer fanfic#tw pregnancy#pregnancy#oh to be the one Giyuu chases after an argument#oh to be the one he's devoted to so ardently#oh to be able to love him#yearning on main i guess#(i always yearn on main)
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Kinktober (reuploaded)
Pent up (Chris)
Request: None
Warnings: Small fight, horny Chris, besties to lovers (when is that not the case?), minimal crying, inexperienced Chris, handjob, embarrassment/humiliation if you squint, switch Chris & reader, cumshot, riding, minimal degradation, begging
Chris’ pov
I’ve only ever had sex once in my life, it was when I was 17 and it was pretty trash, not gonna lie. It’s been 3 years since then and it’s been up to me to get myself off, which had been fine until recently. Nothing I do is working, I’ve tried switching hands, grinding on my bed, fucking pillows, humping random things, using a vibrator, and I still can’t cum. That doesn’t stop my dick from getting hard though, sometimes I go all day with a half-hard dick. It’s gotten to the point where it’s uncomfortable and starting to hurt because basically, all I can do is edge myself. I haven’t been able to fucking cum for 6 weeks, I don’t do hookups or one-night stands either so I’m literally screwed. (or not screwed in this sense)
Now that our friend Y/n from back home has moved to LA as well, my usually half-hard dick has become fully hard. We’ve known her for about 8 years, so needless to say she’s our best friend but that doesn’t mean I don’t find her attractive. Sure, in middle and high school I wasn’t attracted to her like that, plus she was more so Nick’s friend until we turned 16 and he came-out. She’s recently gotten a bigger following on social media and had moved out to LA for better opportunities, it was also obviously a plus that she’d get to see us more.
If I’m being honest, ever since Covid, Y/n has really had a glow up, we all have. However, I wasn’t used to seeing her all the time, except for on FaceTime, but her attractiveness never really affected me then. Now with Y/n coming over all the time, it was hard not to be affected by her attractiveness. It’s even harder when she wears short shorts/skirts, crop tops, or tank tops, and especially when she’s braless. I’d never say or do anything though, I don’t want to make her uncomfortable. Plus, what am I supposed to say? “Oh by the way, you make me hard when you wear clothes like that, could you please stop?” there’s absolutely no way I’d do that.
I’ve been doing my best to avoid Y/n for the past month and I think she’s starting to catch on, she probably thinks I’m mad at her. I catch her giving me hurt and confused looks all the time and Matt says I hurt her feelings by pushing her away for no reason. Except there was a reason, but nobody knew that and nobody was going to find out. At least that was the plan until today as Y/n came over yet again. She walked through the door as usual, saying hi to Matt and Nick before they left for some reason. I was extremely confused because we didn’t have any plans and they didn’t mention that they were going somewhere.
Y/n came over to the couch and sat next to me, I just stayed on my phone until she took it out of my hand. She set it down on the coffee table before wrapping both her arms around my left one. Y/n put her head on my shoulder and sadly said, “I’m sorry, I don’t know what I did but I’m sorry.” that made me feel like shit. I sighed and removed my arm from her hold to give her an actual hug. “Don’t apologize, you didn’t do anything wrong. If anything, I’m sorry.” I sighed again as I heard her sniffle. She wrapped her arms tightly around my torso and I heard her sniffing a second time.
“Please don’t cry Y/n, I’m sorry. I’m just going through something with myself and it’s difficult being around you” I really should’ve worded that better because Y/n immediately pulled away. She was now understandably defensive and upset “What’s that supposed to mean!? You don’t like being around me!? I literally paid Matt and Nick to stay the night at my house so I could talk to you privately and now you don’t even want to be around me!?” she yelled at me. She got off the couch and started walking towards the door crying.
I felt like an asshole so I immediately went after her, pulling her into a tight hug before pulling away and wiping away her tears. “God, you’re gonna fucking hate me after I say this.” I said before taking a deep breath and continuing. “It’s difficult to be around you because you turn me on and make me extremely hard. It’s not your fault, it’s just my body being stupid. I can’t believe I’m telling you this but I haven’t been able to cum in like 6 weeks, I get painfully hard and can basically only edge myself. You know I don’t do hookups so I can only rely on myself and it’s just not working. I’m sorry.” I told her truthfully.
Y/n started laughing, like full on hysterically laughing. I stood there, not finding what I just funny but still cracked a smile at her laughter. “Oh my god, you’re such a jackass!” she joked, making me a little bit confused. “You could’ve just said that and I would’ve given you a handjob weeks ago!” she said between laughs. I didn’t know what to say back so I just stood there staring at her in shock. “Bullshit, I’ve been trying to hide the fact that you’ve been making me hard for weeks just for you to say you’d give me a handjob!? That’s fucking crazy!” I laughed while shaking my head.
Y/n’s pov
I can’t believe all the confusion and hurt going on, on my end was all because I turn Chris on. Yeah no shit he’s one of my best friends, but he’s also obviously very active and I’d honestly give him a handjob just for fun. I love the thought of making someone cum with just my hand, I’m obviously a bit more experienced than Chris since I had a boyfriend for 2 years and we had sex but it didn’t bother me. I like knowing I’ll be the only person to have given him a handjob and the second to touch him intimately like that.
After Chris said this was all crazy, I turned to walk back into the living room when he grabbed my wrist, turning me around. “And where do you think you’re going?” he asked in a cocky tone, “To sit down, what are you doing?” I said back. “I believe you owe me a handjob. Can’t believe you came over to talk to me in such a slutty little outfit and expected me to not get hard” Chris said with a smirk as his hands went to my waist. He pulled me against him so I could feel his half-hard cock and he’s fucking huge.
I decided to mess with him a bit and pull away, doing a little spin before saying, “You don’t like my outfit? Is it because I look bad?” I fake pouted. Chris grabbed my hips once again but his hands almost immediately went down to my ass. “I love it, I just don’t want others seeing what’s mine.” he said lowly, “Possessive.” I teased him, poking his chest. “Is that a problem?” he asked, “Not at all.” I replied. “Good. Now about that handjob offer-“ he started before I cut him off, “ Yes, I’ll give you a handjob now c’mon.” I laughed at his neediness.
We got to his room and I sat on his bed, taking my shoes off while he took off his shirt and laid down, propped by pillows. “Wait! Y-You know um…” he trailed off so I spoke up instead. “Know that you’ve only ever been touched and seen naked once? Yes, I’m aware.” “Oh, um okay, yeah that’s what I was gonna say. I was also going to ask if we could like makeout first? You know, to make me less nervous…” Chris blushed cutely. “Anything you want, tonight is all about your pleasure.” I smiled at him before moving my lips to meet his. Right before our lips we’re about to meet Chris mumbled, “Want you on my lap” pulling my waist so I was now sitting on his lap.
I once again leaned down to attach our lips, my left hand was on his chest while my right cupped his jaw. The kiss was a little slow at first and I could feel that Chris was still half-hard, slowly getting fully hard when he deepened the kiss. I wasn’t expecting him to run his tongue across my bottom lip or squeeze my ass so he could gain access to my mouth, but I was glad he did. The kiss started to get hot and I loved the way Chris whimpered a bit before pulling away. “Want you to touch my cock.” he panted with a smirk. Chris took off his pants before asking me to take off my skirt, which I did, “Goddamn baby, you’ve got such a nice ass.” he said before slapping my ass, making me laugh.
“Just sit back, relax, and enjoy” I winked at him before placing another kiss to his lips, sliding my hand over his hard-on. I pulled away and saw a bit of fear flash through his eyes, “Chris, are you okay? Do you want me to stop?” I asked softly, removing my hand from him. “No, I want you to keep going. I just- this won’t ruin our friendship or be awkward after, right?” he asked nervously. I brought my hand up to stroke his cheek, “I promise this won’t ruin our friendship or be awkward. I just wanna help you, plus it’s fun and enjoyable for me too.” I smiled. Chris smiled back, “Okay good. Please continue.” he said while blushing.
“Do you have lube and can I take off your boxers?” “Yes and yes” he replied, leaning over to grab the lube from his dresser next to his bed. He handed it to me before pulling down his boxers and blushing. “Holy fuck Chris! You’re fucking huge!” I said shocked because he’s a lot bigger than I expected. “Mmm shut up.” he whined back embarrassed, gasping loudly when I started slowly jerking him off. I looked at his face as it twisted with pleasure, I started to move my hand a bit faster as he looked at me, causing him to close his eyes and bite his lip to prevent any moans from falling past them. His face turned a bright pink, making me smile as I moved my other hand to his face, pulling his lip away from his teeth with my thumb.
“C’mon Chris, let me hear those pretty moans. Open those gorgeous eyes for me.” I softly ordered him. His hands were by his sides, balled up in fists as he gripped onto the sheets below him. He let a small whine when he opened his eyes and saw mine looking back at them. “Does that feel good?” I asked seductively, “G-Go faster.” he said, “Can you use your manners for me?” I teased. Chris gave me a pleading look, not wanting to beg but that quickly changed when I stilled my movements. “No, don’t stop! P-Pease go faster!” he groaned, immediately avoiding eye contact with me. I lightly gripped his jaw as I started moving my hand again, I turned his head to face me before saying, “So good with your words.” I smiled before slowly making out with him.
Chris pulled away to let out a particularly loud moan as I felt some precum leak out of his tip. I decided if I wanted to go faster, I’d need to use the lube, squirting some directly onto his cock. I sped up my movements, making Chris’ whines and moans get louder. “Talk to me.” “What?” “Dirty talk to me, tell me I’m being good. I don’t know just talk to me, I’m getting close.” he said. “Awe that’s cute, I haven’t even been jerking you off for 10 minutes and you’re already gonna cum.” I teased thinking he’d get mad at me but instead let out a loud whimper. “You like when I do that?” I asked when I started moving faster, Chris just whined and nodded his head erratically, feeling slightly humiliated.
I dug my thumb into his slit, collecting precum before using my other hand to play with his balls. My fist would tighten every time I went up towards the head, making Chris whimper and whine. I was so focused on pleasuring him that I jumped when I felt his hands come up towards my boobs, “Sorry, I ju-“ he started being I cut him off. “It’s okay I just wasn’t expecting you to touch me, go ahead and do whatever you were gonna do. You’re being such a good boy.” I added the last sentence experimentally to see if he’d like it, and to my surprise, he let out a loud, whiny moan. He moved my tank top straps down and lowered it so my boobs were now visible. Chris looked from my boobs up to my face, getting embarrassed when he found me already looking at him.
“Fuck Y/n/n don’t look at me like that, you’re gonna make me cum.” he whined. I decided to move positions and go in between his legs so I could get a better angle, Chris’ eyes blew out with lust at that. He became a whining, whimpering mess, “Fuck, fuck, fuck! Shit ‘m gonna cum!” he loudly moaned out. I started moving my hand as fast as I could, trying to keep his hips still at the same time. Chris’ left hand came down to tightly hold onto my right wrist as the pleasure was overwhelming due to him edging himself for so long. I saw his stomach flex and thighs start to shake a bit, signaling he was about to cum. Not wanting to make a big mess, I moved his cock so it was up against his stomach, that way he wouldn’t cum all over his sheets.
“Fuck Y/n! Oh shit- yes I’m cumming!” he groaned out loudly, “Be a good boy and cum for me.” I replied seductively. Chris let out something that was a mix between a whine and a growl, which sounded so fucking hot. Within a couple of seconds, thick strings of white cum started to paint his body as I jerked him through his orgasm. I watched in awe as this was the biggest cumshot I’ve ever seen, some cum even made it all the way up to his face. That was fucking hot, I helped him through the aftershocks of his orgasm, during which he let out multiple whimpers and whines. I was so out of it that I didn’t realize Chris’ cock had now turned soft, “S-Stop too much, ‘m sensitive!” he moaned, causing me to finally let go of his cock.
Chris was breathing heavily but he looked so fucking good covered in his own cum like this. “Chris, are you okay?” I asked gently, with his eyes closed all he could do was whimper out a response that would turn me on even more. “P-Picture! Take a picture of me covered in my cum!” I was a bit shocked but nonetheless, I got up to grab my phone. I wasn’t even turned around for a more than a minute, but by the time I got back to the bed with my phone, he was already hard again. I took a few pictures before telling him to open his eyes, Chris looked at me with an extremely fucked out expression and a dopey smile as I took the last picture.
Even though Chris was basically fucked dumb at this point, he still somehow managed to take control of the situation. He grabbed me by my throat and pulled me closer to him, causing me to let out a surprised whine. “Clean my cum up with your tongue and ride me. Like you said earlier, tonight is all about my pleasure, meaning you’re gonna be the slut who does all the work.” he stated in an authoritative tone. I replied with a quick, “Yes sir.” before I started licking up his cum from his stomach all the way up to his face. He actually tasted really good, once he was clean of his cum, he sat up against the headboard.
Grabbing the bottom of my tank top, he said “Take it off.” before watching me pull it over my head. I was honestly a bit surprised at how much of a power bottom Chris was being right now, considering this is only his second time having sex. He pulled me onto his lap before smashing our lips together, biting mine as he pulled back to toy with the side of my panties. “Take these off before I fucking rip them off.” he growled, I immediately took them off and sat back on his lap. “Can I please just fuck myself on your cock now?” I whined, “Well you’re the one who’s gonna do all the work so go ahead. Condoms are i-“ he said cockily before I cut him off. “We don’t need one of those unless you want it.” I told him before kissing his neck, “Goddamn, no condom then.” he grunted.
I slowly sunk down onto his massive cock, “Jesus Christ! You’re so fucking tight!” he moaned out while his voice cracked. “Mhm you’re so big Chris!” I whimpered as I started bouncing on his dick. Chris helped me move by griping onto my ass while I started sucking hickies into his neck. “Baby you can’t leave marks, Matt and Nick can’t know.” he panted out, making me loudly whine. I didn’t stop though, I really didn’t care about his brothers finding out. However, I did stop when he slapped my ass and pulled my hair, “I told you to fucking stop!” he growled in my ear. I started moving a bit faster as he started sucking hickies into my chest, “Just wanted to mark you up!” I whined.
“Why? You tryna claim me as your own or something? Can’t stand the idea of other girls looking at me?” he teased me. Suddenly I turned into the whiny one, blabbing out incoherent sentences without thinking. “Don’t want others looking at you. Only me, you’re mine- please Chris! Want you!” I cried out as the pleasure started to become too much. “Please what baby? What do you want me to do?” he asked, looking at me with his eyes full of lust, “Just want you!” I said frustrated. Chris started thrusting up into me, “Yeah, you want me baby? You got me, I’m yours princess, kiss me.” he said softly in my ear. I moved my hands to wrap around his neck and thread through his hair as our lips met in a feverish kiss.
Chris helped me move faster as he thrusted up into me as well before he moved one hand from my waist to rub my clit. He moved his kisses down my neck, sweetly sucking more hickies into the skin. “Feel so good around my cock princess.” he mumbled, “Shit, Chris I’m gonna cum!” I cried out. With that Chris flipped us over and started drilling into me, looking down at me with a smirk. “Cum on my cock babe, cum so I can fill you up with mine.” he groaned, I pulled him down for another kiss, moaning into it. He was fucking into me at a fairly fast pace while rubbing my clit in tight, fast circles. I tightened around him as I started to cum, moaning loudly. Chris’ thrusts grew sloppy and before I knew it, he was loudly groaning and filling me up with his cum.
He fucked into me for a couple more seconds then pulled out, laying down next to me. As I came down from my high, a wave of emotions hit me and I suddenly got nervous. “Chris…” I said barely above a whisper, he just pulled me into his side, laying my head on his chest. He pulled the blankets up over us, “Shhh, it’s okay, I know. We’ll talk about it in the morning, I promise this doesn’t change anything in a bad way. Just go to sleep princess, everything’s gonna be okay.” he said in a soothing voice, calming my nerves. “Okay, goodnight Chris.” I said softly, “Goodnight pretty girl.” he replied back, protectively wrapping his arms around me.
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#sturniolo triplets#sturniolo#smut#sturniolo fanfic#sturniolo smut#sturniolo triplet smut#sturniolo triplets smut#sturniolo x reader#christopher sturniolo x you#christopher sturniolo x reader#chris sturniolo x you#chris sturniolo fanfic#chris sturniolo smut#chris sturniolo imagine#chris sturniolo x reader#chris sturniolo#chris x reader#christopher sturniolo#christopher sturniolo smut#sturniolos#sturniolo triplets imagine#the sturniolo triplets#daddyslilchickenfingers#reuploaded#kinktober
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Motivation For Writing
Getting Off Your Butt:
1. Aestheticise it. Let the light in through the curtains, turn on your fairy lights, lay a blanket over your lap, light some candles, whatever you need to do to feel like a writer. The right vibes can go a long way
2. Picture that one scene. There’s almost always a moment you’re super excited about that basically inspired the whole book. Picture it, play it out in your head in full cinematic fanfare, gush to yourself about how cool it is and how everyone will love it, picture a future fanbase going nuts for it. You might get excited enough to go back to writing
3. Set a word count goal. During NaNoWriMo this year I think I wrote more than I ever have in one go. The thing that kept me coming back was the desire to not fall behind. I ended up with ~45K words after some complications irl caused me to drop off in the final few days, and that’s all just because I was adding up the 1667 a day word count goal and realising where I needed to be at to keep up. I definitely can’t stay as rigid as I did with 1667 words every single day, but seeing that you’re only a few hundred words off of a goal is super motivating - just be sure to set realistic, easy to achieve parameters for just general use, like 1000-2000 words per week. I know 200 words per day is a popular one for people trying to establish a writing routine that can’t dedicate forever to the craft
Maintaining Motivation:
1. Writing sprints. Writing sprints are a godsend for me, I like to set myself up in the living room with Abbie Emmons’ writing sprint video on. The video lasts two hours and is broken up into two parts; 25 minutes to write and 5 minutes for breaks between writing, so four 30 minute sprints overall. Having the timer and countdown with peaceful music and an aesthetic background is both relaxing and encouraging, as well as giving me a specific time for how much longer I have to push through. It’s easier for me to say “Okay, only ten more minutes, then you can take a break” then it is to say “Just keep going, we’re not stopping until I say so” which is too arbitrary for my brain to accept
2. Give yourself a choice. If you’re struggling to keep your focus, come up with a finish line and tell yourself you don’t have to do any more work once you’ve reached that point. Finish the paragraph, go for another five or ten minutes, keep it up until your next scheduled break. Whatever sounds realistic and doable without being overwhelming. And once you’ve met this goal, ask yourself if you still want to stop. With any luck, you’ll have gotten back into the zone and will choose to keep going. Maybe you’ll want to take a quick break but you’ll come back later on. And maybe you’ll decide that now actually is a good stopping point. Just remember that, if you do still want to stop, don’t force yourself to keep going. You can’t strike deals with yourself if you know you won’t keep your word and all you’ll end up doing is burning yourself out, which will lead to even less writing getting done
3. Try a new angle. If you can’t be bothered to write anymore, is there anything else you can do for your book? Plotting, editing, worldbuilding, character sheets, one-shots all that sort of thing can still be productive for your book while still being different enough to give your brain a slight respite. It also means less work in that particular area later on
Afterwards:
1. Organise. Clean up your workspace and put everything away so it’s nice and neat for when you come back to it. Or if you don’t need to pack things out the way, set it up in an aesthetically pleasing way so it will tempt you back next time. Let it give you the writer vibe
2. Take care of yourself. Get a drink, have a snack, walk about, stretch your limbs, take a breath, cuddle your pet. Something that gets you away from straining your eyes looking at text for a bit. This is also a good time to reward yourself if positive reinforcement is something you use on yourself. If you always feel shitty after your writing sessions, you won’t want to go back to it
3. Positive reflection. Make sure to tell yourself you did good, even if you didn’t get as much done as you would’ve liked or it isn’t up to a standard of quality you’re aiming for. That can all be fixed later on, and you’re infinitely better off than you would’ve been if you didn’t do it. Be proud of yourself. Tell yourself you’re proud of your hard work and your dedication and your effort. Remind yourself that this is a fun thing you like to do. Marvel over how insane it is that you’ve gotten this far - not many people do - and that you’ve got all this tangible work to prove you’ve accomplished something so many people wish they could pull off. If this isn’t fun overall, there’s no point
#writing#writers#bookblr#writeblr#book#writing tips#writing ideas#writing inspiration#writing advice#on writing#writersnetwork#write#writers of tumblr#how to write#writer#writers on tumblr#writers block#writers and poets#writerscommunity#writer things#writer problems#writersociety#writerblr#writerslife
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That Which I Cannot See
That Which I Cannot See - Part 1 - Pure Imagination
Respectfully, you may not use my work, but you are welcome to share it. My work is only intended for those 18 and older as it contains explicit adult themes.
Summary: Basically A Star is Born but make it Sleep Token. A video of you singing Take Me Back to Eden gets attention online and you're invited to sing backup vocals at their next concert. Only, you end up doing a lot more than just that. The first in what will be at least a 3 part series.
Pairing: Vessel x Fem!Reader
Tags: Hand stuff (for now), mask play, concealed identity play, obscured vision/partial blindfolding, is this a musical now?, shower play with the lights off, monster kink? if you squint?, spiritual cult leader Vessel, dirty talk.
Word Count: 5.4k
A/N: I enjoy candlelit showers while blasting Sleep Token and inspiration struck one day while listening to Take Me Back to Eden. What if? So I wrote it. I have already planned out a part 2 & 3, so fear not, our journey has just begun.
Read on Ao3
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So there I was, doom scrolling Instagram when *ping*
“Sleep_Token: We loved your video” My brows furrow. That can’t actually be their official account. Tapping the notification, I switch to my finsta, where I post anonymous videos of myself singing. I recently shared a clip of an acoustic cover of Take Me Back to Eden that got a decent amount of attention, but I didn’t think it got that much attention. The message thread opens just as another is coming in.
“Sleep_Token: How would you feel about joining us sometime?” What the hell?
I click their profile. Blue check mark. Holy shit. Shock has me so caught up I can’t even think of a clever response. Or any response for that matter.
What does ‘joining us' mean? Like for an orgy or going to a show? Because I’m down for both, but I only have tickets for one of those things. At least my brain is still cracking jokes. I stare at my phone and figure out something to say.
“Hi! Thanks! I actually will be at the show this Friday. I can’t wait :)” My heart does a little somersault as I hit send.
“Sleep_Token: Perfect. Our manager will reach out for details. Bring something black to wear. We’ve got the rest covered!”
What the fuck does that mean? Reaching out for details for what? What is ‘the rest’ and how is it ‘covered’???
*ping*
The DM from the manager comes in.
On auto-pilot, I go back and forth with the manager. Realization sets in… I’m going to be backstage at the Sleep Token show. I’m going to meet the Espera and sing with them. On stage. At the Sleep Token show. Friday. In less than a week. What the fuck.
Four days… I have four days to perfect my outfit. Immediately, I FaceTime my best friend. She answers on the second ring.
“Callie… you’re never gonna believe this.”
“Alright??… spill bitch”
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My stride lengthens to keep up with the woman leading me through bright lit hallways. The week had flown by in a blur. Now it’s Friday and I’m being led backstage in sweats and a tank. I hadn’t fully wrapped my head around their invitation. But what I really hadn’t wrapped my head around was what had been developing since that night. Once I had gotten off the phone with Callie, I saw I had a DM request from a username I didn’t recognize.
“Hey it’s V” I think my brain had short circuited. It all felt like it came out of nowhere. I guess that’s the thing about change, it doesn’t happen until it just… does. We had started chatting and it continued throughout the week, getting to know each other a bit, what we enjoy, what we don’t, our favorite colors, and even a bit of flirting. Another strange development in a situation that materialized all too quickly. But it was exciting. It has been a while since I’ve been truly excited about something or …someone.
I think it helps that we don’t really know each other. Our identities are a secret. It’s sort of like getting to know the contents of a box without getting to know the box, if that makes sense. It’s hard to explain, but I like it. Being myself comes easier this way. There are less distractions.
My guide comes to a stop and knocks on a door. Anticipation grips me as it opens, a woman dressed in black greets us with a smile on her face.
“Come on in! We’re excited to meet you.” The Espera, or the three female background vocalists, usher me into the dressing room and to a spot in front of the mirror. Their welcoming energy helps quell my buzzing thoughts. We fall into easy conversation as I work on my hair and makeup. The dress I chose is sexy but functional. Thin straps, square neckline dipping in a quick plunge, finished off with a thigh high slit. My hair tumbles around my shoulders and down my back in a lion’s mane of waves. My lips are painted the darkest shade of red, the only real part of my face that will be seen from behind the gold mask that lays on the counter before me.
The Espera give me a crash course in backup vocals. No pressure, just last minute winging it in front of 13,000 people. I still can’t wrap my head around this, even as they help fit the mask to my face. It looks just like theirs, intricate bronze scrollwork curling down my cheeks, leaving only my mouth and jaw exposed. The mesh panels over the eyes allow me to make out shapes and light. So I can see plenty, but it doesn’t feel that way. For me, I might as well be blind. It’s the feeling of being out of control, a vulnerability that leaves me a bit raw and on edge.
A knock raps at the door and my ears grasp at every little sound, attempting to make up for my lack of sight. The women gather as it clicks open. Their blurry forms disappear to the sounds of scuffling shoes. The door closes. My blurred vision watches as a dark figure slowly makes its way across the mirrored space. Fully blind I would know it was him. The magnetism of his presence is threatening to drag me in like the gravity of a blackhole. It’s supermassive…
I hold my breath as he surveys me. It would be a lie to say that I am not intimidated under his gaze. Despite the disguise, the feeling of vulnerability remains.
“This suits you. How does it feel?” He purrs his approval. The tension in my chest eases.
“Thank you. How does what feel?”
“Your transformation.”
“Transformation? Into what?” My breath hitches, I can see his dark figure looming behind me.
“Your true self.”
“I’m not really sure what you mean by that. As excited as I am, I am also a little nervous.”
“What are you nervous about?”
“I’m not sure if it’s one specific thing. I just don’t know what to expect. I’ve never done this before. I know I’m wearing a mask but it still feels scary to have people actually watching me. This is worlds away from posting anonymous videos online.”
“I can understand. For us, the disguises are about showing the parts of ourselves that do not feel comfortable in our daily lives. Whether that is because we feel they should be hidden or we lack a suitable outlet. So it’s really not a disguise at all, but a revelation. By wearing this mask, I take off the invisible one I wear everyday. I embody the aspects of myself that I wouldn’t otherwise. So ask yourself… What would that feel like for you? Who would you allow yourself to be if you knew you were free from judgement?”
“I think it would feel freeing. But how am I supposed to figure that out tonight?”
“A lot can happen in just one night.”
Unsure of what to say, I sigh and tilt my head. A gentle tap on the side of my mask is his response. I stare straight ahead, looking upon our blurry reflections in the mirror.
“Envision yourself right now. A different version of you, a fantasy. Who could you be? How would you carry yourself? What presence do you bring? Take a minute. Close your eyes if you need. Think of the answer and then feel it. Become it. This is the transformation. It is first in your mind and then, in your being.”
I take a breath, close my eyes, and do as he says. I see the masked version of me, painted with black, a version of me that no one knows. Not even myself. She can be anything. I can be anything. This essence blossoms in my bones, radiating until it anchors itself into my being. Excitement ripples under my skin. I open my eyes.
“How does it feel?”
“It feels… different. I see myself but also… more.”
Vessel tilts his head.
“I saw paint. On my neck and it ran down.” Skimming my hands over my arms to illustrate my point.
“Stand.” I pray my knees don’t give out as I follow his command.. His proximity sends little electric waves skating along my skin.
“You know it’s true what they say. Depriving one sense, heightens the others. Close your eyes.”
I do as he says. Anticipation coursing through me.
“Touch, for example.”
His hands skate up my arms, over my bare shoulders to my neck. His fingers stroke along my skin, pressing into the muscles and working at the tension. Other parts of me start to crave the same and the weight of arousal settles between my thighs. I exhale a sigh. His fingertips play along my skin, alighting little sparks. Just as I’m being lulled into a daze, he stops. Moving away from me, he leans against the counter, silently staring. The vulnerability isn’t as uncomfortable now. Security has replaced whatever fear I felt before. He reaches for something on the counter.
“May I? I have an idea for you with this paint.”
“You may.” I tease lightly and I hear the sound of spinning plastic.
The light of the room is dimmed as he steps closer. Both hands come around my neck and fear takes root in an instant. What am I doing? I’m alone with a man who is dressed like a demon god, his hands are wrapped around my throat, and we are in a room where no one can hear me scream…probably. Oh no…. Should I be worried about how that turned me on?
Instead of squeezing the air from my lungs, he works the paint onto my skin. His fingers splay as he drags his hands down both sides of my neck. His fingernails scrape over my collarbones, stopping just before the neckline of my dress. My eyes fall closed and I can’t help the sigh that escapes or the shudder that runs through my body. Nor can I help imagining what it would feel like to have his hands on my thighs. Leaving a sinful trail of evidence, as he explored more sensual areas of my body. Circling behind me, his hands clasp my arms, leaving one last mark.
“Look at yourself.” His deep voice jarring me from my haze. Even with my obscured vision, I can clearly see the twin trails of black that drag down my neck, stopping just before my breasts and the stark handprints on my upper arms.
“It looks like I’ve been marked by a monster.” I say, amusement clear in my tone.
Silence. A brief moment of tension, then his hand wraps around my throat. He leans closer to me.
“Are you calling me a monster?” His teasing is mixed with tones of darkness. I shudder at the thrill.
“No. Monsters are scary and I’m not scared of you” …Yet
“Do you want to be scared of me?” His voice is low in my ear.
“Maybe a little” Maybe more than a little.
I see his head tilt in the mirror. I can’t see his eyes but I feel them flaying me alive, gleaning every dark desire snaking through my body. He releases me, putting a bit more distance between us.
“As much as I would love to explore that, it’s about time we get ready to go on. You’ll be brilliant. If you get nervous just remember my touch and how it’s plain for everyone to see.” I could feel him wink at me as he said that. It wasn’t the worst suggestion. That would certainly distract my thoughts from wandering into anxiety, but it would distract me in other ways. Blushing, I step through the door he holds for me, and follow him down the hall.
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Like a cutscene in a movie, suddenly I’m on stage and the show is taking off. The lights and sounds are overwhelming. I allow myself a few minutes to adjust. Slowly, I begin to pick up the swaying movements from the Espera. Taking cues from their hazy shapes. Then, I allow my voice to softly join theirs. The flashing mass of screaming fans mere feet away is difficult to tune out, but I let them blur into shapes through my mask and my voice rises to the music. With each song they play, my confidence grows, and I feel that vision of myself, from the dressing room, coming to life.
Well, I know what you want from me
You want someone to be your reflection, your bitter deception
Setting you free, so you take what you want and leave
Excitement strikes like lightning. Of course I knew this song was coming, but being a part of it? Dancing while every instrument reverberates through my body?
Won’t you come and dance in the dark with me?
Tapping into that sensual side of me, I allow it to take form, my hips swaying to the rhythm. I trail my fingertips over my body, and pleasure ripples behind my touch. Hearing whispers of my voice wafting through the background is unreal.
Lipstick, chemtrails, red flags, pink nails
I once made a comment to Callie about how I fantasize about being in an orgy while this song plays because it never fails to turn me on. The way the beat builds and morphs, the lyrics on top of that, it feels like seduction. My voice vibrates through my being, sparking a dark desire that flares with the melody. My eyes fall shut as I remember our time together in the dressing room. I feel his phantom touch along my skin and surrender myself to the sensations.
You make me wish I could disappear
The music dies down, somber notes begin to rise. Recognition flutters in my heart. This is the song that first drew my attention to him… and his attention to me. My eyes snap open on instinct, despite my obstructed view, I see a dark figure approach me, blocking out the crowd. My heart begins to race. I tilt my masked face up at his towering form. He grabs my hand and leads me from behind my place in the background. There we are, front and center. I have no idea what he is doing or what he expects of me. My blood roars through my ears, beating against the tense curiosity of the all too quiet crowd. Curious cheers ring out, but my focus is drawn to him.
I dream in phosphorescence
Bleed through spaces
My nails scrape restlessly against the fabric of my dress. I have no idea what he wants from me. We never talked about this. Am I just supposed to stand here? Am I supposed to sing a specific part or harmony? My thoughts race as panic begins to sink its claws into me.
His finger curls under my chin. The gentle weight of him pulls me from the quicksand of my mind.
I’m transfixed as he sings to me.
My, my those eyes like fire I’m a winged insect you’re a funeral pyre.
A calm intensity settles in as I focus on the figure before me. Like a siren song his entire being draws me in until there is no one else. No crowd. Not even the band. Just him and me.
The music begins to build. I feel it in my chest. His hand lightly strokes my chin in invitation. The energy builds in my stomach and moves up my throat. God, it feels like it’s going to burst out of me. So I close my eyes and let it.
I will travel far beyond the path of reason. Take me back to Eden. Take me back to Eden
Our melody turns into harmonious wails.
Take me back to Edeeeennn
My eyes open to a flash of white teeth as he grins down at me, the music continuing its heavy intensity. That grin against his mask and paint, looks every bit like the monster I mentioned. The music drops into a quiet tempo and he steps closer, leaning in as his hood brushes my cheek.
“Stay.” He commands, before sauntering off, just as three chords are played.
Well yeah I spit blood when I wake up
He crouches towards the swarming crowd as he recites the lines. Waving hands and screaming smiles line the front of the crowd. As I watch him move across the stage, I remember his painted marks on my skin. My cheeks burn as he approaches me again.
I need you to see me for what I have become
Long fingers wrap around mine, bringing my hand to grasp the microphone, joining him for the chorus.
My, my those eyes like fire
My voice is a sweet backdrop contrasting his, as we sing together until the beat drops off. The hand folded atop mine loosens, his arm falling slack and I let go of the mic. His free hand sneaks through my hair, cradling my head in his hand. The sounds of birds chirping flit around the notes of the piano. This intimate moment sets me ablaze as I remember there are thousands of people watching. Jealousy licks at my sides from the scrutiny of their gaze. I pay them no mind.
His hands fall from my hair, as he lifts the mic, but sings to me.
I guess it goes to show does it not
That we’ve no idea what we’ve got until we lose it
His words resonate through my chest. Understanding the opportunity tonight presents, I want to make the most of this night, of this connection, and just enjoy whatever is to come.
No amount of self-sought fury will bring back the glory of innocence
Sound pours from me as I join him singing once again. The music sweeps me along and I ascend with it.
We were tangled up like branches in a flood
What happens next takes me by surprise. Vessel loops an arm around my waist, drawing me in until my dress brushes against his belt. He screams the ending lines with such intensity I feel as if I’m being hit by a hurricane. I can barely make out what he’s saying. My heart seizes with another little thrill of fear. All I see is the fierce glint of teeth through the contortions of his mouth as the music fades out.
Piano keys begin to play, as he leads me back to my place among the Espera. This is the last song of the show, Euclid. What a beautiful note to end on. I channel all the joy in my little heart into singing this final song. I know maybe the lyrics aren’t the happiest but I can’t help but feel light while singing it. Our voices fade out, as he brings things to a close.
The whites of your eyes, turn black in the lowlight
So give me the night, the night, the night…
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We stopped by the dressing room long enough for me to grab my belongings and then he was leading me through more hallways. He holds a door open for me and I step into a gaudy locker room. Leading the way, I follow him through the space and into a long room. The harsh fluorescence glares off of the white tile lining the walls. On the left, is a mirrored wall of sinks and who knows what else. On the right, benches border each door frame, opening into showers.
We walk a few stalls down, I hang my tote and arrange my clothes on the bench as he wanders away. Pulling out a hair tie, I twist my hair up into a messy bun. Butterflies twist through my belly as he returns to my side, hanging a towel on my hook. We’ve shared this entire night, this entire week, without seeing each other’s face, perhaps we’ve seen a deeper truth. Either way, I’m not ready for it to end.
Inspiration strikes and I stride back to the main door and begin to flick the lights off one by one until all that is left is the glow of the adjoining locker room. His masked face tilts as his attention focuses on me. Grabbing the door handle, I pull it closed behind me until only a necessary sliver of light shines through. Giving my eyes a second to adjust, I carefully make my way back to my bench. I feel another thrill of excitement at the atmosphere. The near pitch black, the silence all around us, almost like something you’d see in a scary movie. I hear clothes rustling from the bench he is at. I’m still working on undoing the straps of my heels when I hear the harsh splash of water against tile. Once all of my outfit has made it into my tote, I take cautious steps into the awaiting shower.
“I wanted to keep the mystery going but maybe it’s a bit too dark.” So dark, that I can barely make out the other person in my proximity. My hands feel along the cool tiles for support.
“Give it a minute. Your eyes will adjust.” He’s calm. Still. Giving me space to acclimate. No longer clutching at the wall, I can make out the shape of him easier. Barely, I see the steam from the water and pumps of soap attached to the wall.
“Will they adjust enough to be able to tell the difference between which is the soap and which is the conditioner?” I tease.
“Hmm might have to go with good ole trial and error on that” Our laughter echoes against the walls.
Stepping closer, I let my gaze wander. The lines of his muscles catch what little light there is. My breath hitches, the difference in our height is exaggerated now that I am barefoot. The way he looms over me keeps his face masked in shadow. Again, the thrill of being alone with this strange, dark god shivers through me, bringing my awareness back to the arousal that has been burning all night.
“Well I will gladly volunteer as the test subject.”
“And I will gladly accept. I didn’t want to assume…”
“I would actually prefer if you do assume.” I step closer to him. Even in the pitch black I can see his head tilt down at me.
“Did you enjoy yourself tonight?”
“I did. I’ve never experienced anything like it.” I say almost reverently.
“Shall we keep the experience going then?” A shiver runs through my body
“Yes.” I breathe..
“Sing for me?” My brows jump up. Posting videos of me singing alone in my house and singing background vocals could not prepare me for this.
“What do you want me to sing?”
“Anything” My mind goes blank all for one song. I take a deep breath to still my nerves.
Come with me, and you’ll be, in a world of pure imagination
Tentatively, I recite the words.
Take a look and you’ll see
Into your imagination
There is no life I know
To compare with pure imagination
His voice joins mine.
Living there, you’ll be free
I stop, allowing him to finish the verse
If you truly wish to be
Courage is easier found in the dark I realize, when my hands begin to trail along his chest and I continue singing.
If you want to view paradise, simply look around and view it
Anything you want to, do it
My long nails gently scrape across his abs as his fingers trace the black paint along my chest.
“What a mess I’ve made.” The timbre of his voice sends desire rushing through me. Reaching back, he grabs something from one of the dispensers and lathers his hands. The creamy substance spreads down my shoulders as he begins to work out the tension in my muscles. His hands began to slip down to above my breasts. Working in slow circles. The combination of excitement and desire keeps my mind sharp despite the haze of lust. His thumbs swipe across my skin with a delicious pressure. Grasping the tops of my arms, he leans towards me and my lips hum in anticipation. His mouth grazes past my cheek.
“I think… this is conditioner” He murmurs in my ear. I can’t help the surprised giggle that escapes me. I can feel his amusement even as he turns from me. The muted clicks of the dispenser can be heard over the shower stream. When he faces me again, the energy shifts. A thrill runs through me as he grabs the back of my neck with one hand.
“May I?” He echoes the familiar words he spoke earlier in the night.
“You may.” I breathe and his lathered hand begins running down my neck, as his other creeps up into my hair. My head tilts back. The glow from the distant light flashes off his sharp grin. His hand moves lower down my chest, as he works at the paint there. I’m not sure which is more arousing. Him painting me or washing it off. My nipples harden and a dull throb settles between my thighs just as his large hand sweeps over my breast. His fingers capture my nipple, flexing and rolling against my soft skin. I exhale shakily as he moves on to the other, giving it the same treatment. Grabbing my hips, he pulls me into the water, washing away his claim, his touch laying stake to a new one. Then he flips me around, I catch myself on the cool tile wall. As he steps closer, I can feel him pressed against me.
“I very much enjoyed having my mark on you, clear for everyone to see.” His voice is low against my ear, as his lips drag over my neck, gently nipping at my skin. The hand on my right hip slides down my thigh. My legs tense in anticipation. His fingers begin swiping in teasing strokes, closer and closer to where I burn for his touch.
“Tell me, what has you so wet for me?” I let out a whimper as his fingertips slide through the evidence of his claim.
“Was it on stage? When I whispered in your ear?” Stay. I shook my head. That definitely turned me on but it wasn’t where it started. The memory of us in the dressing room, with his hands around my neck flickers through my mind. Just that quick thought stokes the already well fanned flames of arousal.
“Before the show in the dressing room” I say and receive a hum of approval. I’m rewarded as his finger dips inside me ever so slightly. His strokes are shallow, only increasing my need for him.
“What about it?” His fingers slow, urging me to respond. It’s hard to think through the fog of my desire.
“When you painted my neck.” Relief washes over me as he picks up his still too slow pace. His left hand moves from my hip, trailing over my fluttering stomach, paying brief attention to my breast, before sliding around my throat. My thighs clench around his hand before I can help myself, my body vibrating with anticipation.
“Ah so this is what you like?” His grip tightens as he speaks and my hips rock back desperate for more than this teasing. All I accomplish is grinding my ass against his cock. He inhales sharply but presses himself fully against me.
“So eager.” He laughs. “Is this what you’ve wanted?” His fingers still move at a languid pace, but curl deeper inside me.
“Yes” I nod enthusiastically.
“But it’s not enough is it?” I shake my head. Because despite the pleasure I felt, the need was greater. The need to feel more of him, to have more of him. He obliges, sliding in a second finger. I cry out, my cheeks heat from embarrassment at the echo. I press my lips together, stifling my moans. His fingers still. He leans forward, his chest against my back, pressing me into the wall.
“Don’t stop singing for me now” He purrs and the rumble in his chest vibrates through my own.
“It’s just you and me. There’s no one else.”
I exhale heavily as my mouth parts. Right away, he rewards me with deliberate strokes of his fingers. The hand around my neck lazily works at the muscles there and waves of ecstasy shoot through me. My nails catch on the grout between the tiles as pleasure begins to coil tight in my muscles. I’m lost in the way my moans reverberate around us as his thumb carefully starts working my clit. It’s consuming. The stretch of his fingers, dragging over every sensitive spot inside me, playing my body like an instrument. His hips roll against my backside, grinding against me. I can feel the hard length of him, thick and hot against me. I begin to crave more and the thought alone of feeling all of him inside me brings me towards the peak.
“Someday I will have all of you and you will have all of me. Until then I will have the memory of how wet and tight you are around my fingers. Wishing you were wrapped around my cock instead.” My hips rocked, practically riding his hand as the pleasure ramping up inside me spun so tight I felt it would snap at any moment. “Every time I look at my hand I want to remember how it felt to have you come on my fingers.” A ragged cry left my throat as his words pushed me over the edge. The tension inside me broke. Shattered shards of pleasure sliced through me as my body shook. His hand slipped out of me and I felt him work himself against my ass. Tremors skittered through me as I began to come down from my high. The cooling fire in my core alighting anew at the knowledge that he would soon follow. The hand around my neck had slid to brace himself against the wall.
“I want to feel you claim me again.” Shortly after those words left my mouth, I heard him groan. He shuddered against me as I felt hot spurts of him against my hip and back. His cheek came to rest against the top of my head. We stayed pressed against the wall as our breathing and heart rates slowed.
“Well I’m afraid I’ve made a bigger mess than when we started.” My body vibrates against his as I laugh. He pulls me back to the water and gets to work cleaning me off.
“Ves. Thank you, for tonight.” The nickname felt a bit strange on my tongue but appropriate given the standing of our relationship now.
“The pleasure was mine. Thank you for joining us and thank you for indulging me.”
“Of course. I wouldn’t miss a once in a lifetime opportunity.”
“I’m flattered… We will see each other again, you know.” Now it’s my turn to tilt my head at his words.
“Will we?” The possibility hadn’t even crossed my mind. Everything happened so fast.
“If you would like… There is still so much left to explore.” Even in my sated state, the purr of his words spark arousal.
“Oh I think I would like that very much.” Tension crackles between us. God if I don’t get out of here I’m going to be in over my head. Exhaustion was starting to creep into my bones.
“I think it’s past my bedtime.” I say with a yawn. That gets a little laugh out of him.
“Well you run along home before I’m inclined to drag you back into this cave and never let you go.” Again, he’s teasing, but the edge in his voice promises something darker. “Or someone comes looking for us and turns all those awful lights on.” His hands grip my shoulders as he leans down and plants a kiss on the top of my head. “We wouldn’t want to ruin the mystery.”
“We sure wouldn’t” Reluctantly, I walk away. I dry off the lingering evidence of what just occurred between us, slip into my clothes, and return to the harsh light of reality.
#my writing#my work#sleep token fanfic#sleep token fic#vessel fanfic#vessel smut#sleep token smut#vessel x reader#sleep token x reader#gildedneon writes
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Become Your Best Version Before 2025 - Day 9
Auditing Your Relationships
Hey Goddesses! We're going to talk about something really important, but often overlooked, our relationships.
Our connections with others play a massive role in our happiness and growth. But life gets busy, and sometimes we put those connections on autopilot. That’s why today is all about doing a relationship audit. Think of it as checking in on your “connection bank” and making sure the important ones are thriving.
Pull out your journal (or open your Notes app), and let’s dig in.
1.Reflect on Your Circle
Ask yourself: Who are the people in my life right now? This isn’t about judging anyone; it’s about awareness. Write down:
People you talk to daily.
Those you lean on when life gets tough.
People you love but maybe haven’t connected with in a while.
Now ask: How do these relationships make me feel? Energized? Loved? Drained?
To keep it simple, create three columns in your journal:
Nurture: Relationships you cherish and want to pour into.
Reassess: Connections that feel one-sided or unhealthy.
Reconnect: Those you’ve unintentionally drifted away from but miss.
2.Strengthen Your Core Relationships
Think about the people in your Nurture column. These are your VIP, your people. Ask yourself:
When was the last time I told them how much they mean to me?
Have I been truly present when we’re together?
Now, pick one small thing to do for someone this week:
Send a random “thinking of you” text.
Plan a coffee date or video call.
Leave a sticky note of appreciation on their desk or mirror.
Sometimes, the smallest gestures speak the loudest.
3.Address Strained Connections
Relationships in the Reassess column can be tricky. Maybe it’s a friend who constantly cancels plans or someone whose energy doesn’t match yours anymore.
Here’s the thing: it’s okay to outgrow connections. It doesn’t mean you don’t care about them; it just means you’re prioritizing your emotional health.
This is where practicing boundaries comes in.
For example:
If a friend is always negative, limit how much time you spend with them.
If someone constantly crosses your boundaries, have an honest conversation.
It might feel uncomfortable at first, but protecting your peace is so worth it.
4.Rekindle Faded Connections
We all have people in our Reconnect column, friends or family who’ve been pushed to the edges of our busy lives. Reaching out can feel awkward at first, but it’s amazing how quickly the warmth can come back.
Try sending a simple message like:
“Hey, I was just thinking about you and realized how much I miss our chats. How are you doing?”
“Life has been so busy, but I’d love to catch up. Are you free next week?”
Sometimes, it just takes one brave step to reignite a meaningful connection.
5.Check in with Yourself
Let’s not forget the most important relationship: the one with yourself.
Ask:
Am I showing myself the same love and compassion I give to others?
Do I make time for activities that light me up?
Am I proud of how I’m showing up in my relationships?
Make sure you schedule me time this week. Even 30 minutes can make a huge difference. Take a walk, read a book, or journal about what’s on your mind.
So basically...
You don’t need to have perfect relationships to feel fulfilled. What matters is that you’re trying, that you’re showing up with love, intention, and care.
Let’s commit to nurturing the connections that matter, letting go of what doesn’t serve us, and pouring back into ourselves. This isn’t about being perfect; it’s about being present.
Tell me: which step are you starting with today? I’d love to hear how it goes, let me know in the comments or send me a message.
See you tomorrow for Day 10!
♡ ☆:.。 Keep glowing, babes! ♡ ☆:.。 With love, Goddess Inner Glow.
#self improvement#personal development#self love#be yourself#self confidence#Self Acceptance#self appreciation#be confident#be your best self#be your true self#becoming the best version of yourself#Becoming that girl#girlblog aesthetic#it girl#it girl energy#confidence#growth mindset#That Girl#selfcare#pinterest girl#relationships advice#friendship#dream life#self development#self help#self concept#lifestyle#glow up tips#goddessinnerglowblog#goddessinnerglowmagazine
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SAGAU / Isekai Genshin:
You can still use your characters! ... as in possessing them 👻
(all art by me down below, hope its decent lol - did it for u guys and myself i mean what )
Edit 9/7/23: 1,500+ NOTES??? BRO WHAT!! THABK YOU <3
Edit 12/24/23 + 4/5/24:
☆
My dumbass forgot to put this here .-.
Anywya this is a full length fanfic now ;)
PART 1 (you're here!) / Part 2
So.
You got sucked into a video game.
Crazy, but it happens ¯\_ (ツ)_/¯
yknow how it issss
...you very quickly discover that unfortunately video game rules still apply...
which wouldn't normally be an issue! like, needing to use the bathroom in the middle of a fight? Nope! minor cuts and bruises like papercuts, only actual enemies or fall damage counting? hell yeah that'd be great (theoretically no chronic pains if you got that?? hmmmm unsure)
see the issue comes when you realize, you as a player, don't have a "character" that's all your own
there's aether/lumine yeah.. but bc the game's real now, they're their own people, and you didn't wake up to find yourself as a blonde twin...
the closest you can describe your form as is .. like a seelie?
or like the way ghosts look in game?
but a lot more "starry"
like your specterlike, but you look like you got filled up with stars and the milky way, maybe a reference of you being from another universe/world? (aether/lumine/dainsleif/khaenriah star symbol reference secret thEORY-)
but yah.
you also got just, white eyes.
like, not iris, not pupil. like your pupil and iris got erased
you gotta admit, at least you look really aesthetic now.
(u also got a little cape and hood on at all times, and you cant take it off to see your starrified hair >:/ ,very Blue Diamond-esque, look up Steven Universe, Blue Diamond if you dont know who im talking about)
so needless to say, as soon as you sort of glitched your way into existence you were HYPE
i mean ur ACTUALLY IN TEYVAT WITH THE BOYSSSS
...then you realize your a spooky-no-character-to-pilot-around-thus-no-character-model-body-for-you thingy
and that you cant touch stuff!! >:(
like wth!!!
thats just downright unfair.
so, you figure if you got no body to be.... you gotta find a new "character" to pilot >:)
...
I choose you, yellow fungi!
...
....
you're in the fucking woods (Sumeru somewhere obv, u knew that the moment you opened ur eyes),
what'd you expect?? an archon??
..wait a minute. can you possess an archon-
these kinda thoughts plague your first few days of irl genshin impact playing
a rishabold tiger? yep.
a sumpter beast? kinda slow and heavy feeling but yeah.
...you also try a ruin machine LOL
by far, the fungi and ruin machines are the best to possess, mostly because you can remain upright with those
(tho u did find some type of flying monkey that wasnt in game, but its like,, a real world and jungle now so that makes sense there'd be more complexity + stuff)
you do eventually think you should try and possess a person at this point... but ur kinda nervous 👉👈
its ur first time doin this okay nobody explained the basics to you youve been winging for a week now!
will your mind be replaced with theirs? it hasn't been so far with the creatures/bots
and as far as you can tell, they kinda just-
forget what happened or "wake up" after you possess them
(the tiger you were for a day looked confused as hell when it realized that there was a new pile of fruit next to it when it "woke up", it was your way of saying thank you to the animals of the jungle, u left them little piles of food you collected running around as them)
so THEORHETICALLY-
you should be good to go and possess a random poor eremite
... you figure you want to possess something human-like eventually even if you get a puppet body like wanderer/raiden so...
here goes nothing...
♤
so it's been 2 weeks since you've been forcefully yanked into teyvat, and by the second week, you were trying to possess eremites
which! worked out!
mostly..!
you kinda convinced the entirety of two eremite camps that a certain part one of sumeru's forests is hella haunted bc ppl keep "blacking out" and doing things they don't remember doing, yknow... like possesssion LMAO
they kinda ran off to escape you but, hey!
experiment #2: people possession, success!!
now you were kinda convinced of this when you realized no matter the angle the animals and machines of sumeru didnt react to you getting super close to them (you dont have to touch something to posses it, just look at it really, but you wanted to test limits, so you walked up to sumpter beasts and fungi and ruin machines)
but no one can see you.
you don't have a "character" most of the time, you can float and glide around the ground like scaramouche lol
you cant touch stuff bc of this, you cant smell stuff (u saw the eremites campfires & couldnt smell the smoke until you were them)
you cant eat stuff w/o a body, so.. it makes sense that the eremites and passing merchants, cant see you when you float around, trying to reorient yourself after 2 weeks of experimenting
:( ur only a lil sad about it... but mostly not bc lol u got possession powers so trade off u guess
the first time you see a vision-bearer you literally scream
LMAO
ur so lucky u cant be seen or heard
bc Collei would have def screamed back lol
needless to say u stalk the forest ranger- ALL DAY.
Collei goes on patrol around the woods? you go on a patrol.
collei goes to visit other forest rangers? you "visit" other forest rangers at base (lol u def possess a guy who was asleep on a bench nearby & wake up to go talk to Collei "in-person", poor guy was so worried he sleep walked/talked so hard he went to see Tighnari an hour later lmao)
welp, you decide this is your life now, follow Collei everywhere, talk one-sided to Collei until you can possess a forest ranger w/o it being suspicious (dont wanna turn the poor rangers into the terrified eremites from a week or two ago...)
then, after you get the courage and erase the paranoia that tighnari can just... somehow hear your ghostly bullshit-
u do the same to Tighnari (then Cyno when he visits! no u didnt squeal, so what, nobody can hear you- )
♧
Tighnari begins to get suspicious about 3 weeks into this routine.
he's been starting to collect and start a file on all the rangers or nearby villagers that've started randomly "blacking out/sleep walking" in the evenings usually
(u possess as close to nighttime as u can so it seems like sleepwalking)
So when Cyno comes back from a mission gone wrong,
having nearly been decapitated by a rogue flying ruin machine, only to black out and come to standing calmly 10 feet further than he remembered being 1 minute ago...
Tighnari's suspicions are confirmed, and he launches into researching this phenomenon.
his first thought is something like the aranara, but that doesn't account for the effect this thing is having on people
after all, what little forest spirit is strong enough to-
-control humans??
Tighnari begins to get the sense he's in over his head after he finds himself pushed into going into Sumeru City in order to collect more library books or ask around if the blackouts have spread to the city people
he answer is negative, on both accounts.
and he spends about one half of the day walking around, and the other reading up all he can on mythical creatures or ailments
Tighnari gives up for the day, and as he makes his way back to Ghandarvaville, he almost gets ambushed by some particularly nasty muggers
...and then he wakes up 20 feet away, his denro vision thrumming with power, full of worry and fondness for himself??, (just like Cyno said he felt happen to him..)
...Tighnari decides he needs reinforcements.
YOU GUYS-
UR LOCAL ZODIAC SIGN OBSESSED W/GENSHIN HIT A CHARACTER LIMIT ON A POST FINALLY. 😦
??? THIS WOULDVE BEEN LONGER BUT I BARELY GOT SPACE FOR THIS- I- EVEN THE QIQI POST DIDNT HIT LIMIT-
uh cya ig!!
Safe travels lmao,
💀♒️
♡the beloveds♡
@karmawonders / @0rah-s / @randomnatics / @glxssynarvi / @nexylaza / @genshin-impacts-me / @wholesomey-artist @revonie / @hat-on-a-cat / @takottai / @sickly-falling (?) / @iruiji
(Sorry about the late tag! I forgot to update my taglist before i posted this 💀 my bad guys)
Also if the people who got put there who i couldnt find a blog for see this, idk what went wrong ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ - maybe check and see if ur setting for "being able to be searched/looked up" is turned on?? Idk man
#yo this is crazy#u guys what#i thought the limit was like-#half a novel or some shit#ive never had that happen 💀#Aquarius art#my art#genshin imagines#genshin god reader#genshin sagau#genshin impact sagau#genshin x reader#genshin impact reverse harem#love u guys <3#thx for being patient w/me :)#genshin impact#standalone post#my writing posts#sagau#genshin sagau ideas#gender neutral reader#genshin isekai#<3#sagau art#black reader#poc reader#body neutral reader#chubby reader#going feral#genshin brainrot
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Arthur Morgan x younger!Fem!Reader
Sum.: Since you've joined the gang you have had a little thing for Arthur, but you're sure he doesn't feel the same.
(NOT MY GIF)
Since this is my first post, I would really love some feedback :3 thank youuu
Love, Luella
It is a warm afternoon in September, the wind blew a slight breeze through my hair and the sun was shining. Since I've finished all of the chores that Ms. Grimshaw gave me, I have decided to sit by the campfire and rest a bit.
The only people that did the same were Micah, the lazy bastard, and Hosea, since he also finished everything he wanted to do. I walked up to the fire and sat down on a log near by. As I sat and drank a bit off my beer, Micah looked at me and smirked. "Well, well... Don't you think you should work? Wash my clothes or something! Some people here actually pull their weight, you know. You should try that once! Just sitting around doing nothing..." He shook his head.
"Micah, shut up. You're not pulling any weight around here." I look over to Hosea and smile at him as he told Micah off. I decided to stay silent, since I don't want any problems. I brush my fingers through my hair and drink some more. Micah mumbles something and walks away.
Suddenly you could here the sound of hoofs on the ground. I look up and grin like a little girl who just saw her crush. Because that is basically the case. Arthur Morgan was riding into camp. He had a little mission in town, which was why he had to stay there for some days. He gets up and walks over to Dutch.
He is so tall and handsome... but there is no way he likes me. I am way younger than him. He'd surely like someone his age. He is in his late 30's, there is no chance he would take interest in someone my age. I look down to the floor and then back up, cause even if he doesn't like me back, he's still damn fine. To my surprise he is no longer with Dutch, I look around but I can't find him.
I get up and turn around swiftly to get my self a book or some fabric to embroider. As I begin to walk while still looking at the floor, I suddenly bump into someone big. I look up and it's... (you've guessed it) Arthur.
"Oh my! I am so sorry Arthur! I really didn't mean to bump into you like this! I'm sorry really! I wanted to~" I blush as I got interrupted by his chuckle. "What?" I ask.
"It's cute how nervous you just got. Look it's fine y/n." He say and chuckles some more. 'cute?' I thought to myself. "Oh uhm okay... thank you Arthur." I look down and continue to walk to my tent. I sit down on my cot and put my face in my hands. 'I am so stupid, he probably thinks I am super weird now. Well... Life still goes on I guess.' As I get up from my bed, I also grab a book and walk back to the campfire. I sit down and begin to read.
It's a love story, I love them. The evening was so beautiful, Javier is playing some songs and a couple of gang members are dancing to it. It's filled with laughter and joy.
The next morning
After I ate breakfast, I immediately started with my chores. I walked down to the little river and got on my knees facing camp. The basket I had with me was full with clothes from different men. I began to wash it thoroughly to get as much of the sweaty smell out as possible.
In camp, most people started doing their chores. I can see some members cleaning up, others ride into town, and one man is making firewood. Arthur. He is swinging his axe, splitting log after log. I can't even look away. He is glowing, from his sweat in the soft morning sun.
He looks at me and smiles. I look away as fast as possible, acting like I never looked at him. I can hear footsteps getting closer. "Good morning y/n."
"Good morning Arthur. Can I help you?" I ask after recognizing his voice. I still look down at the laundry. "Hm no, not really. I just felt like talking to you a bit. What do you have planned for the week?"
I look up "I don't really have anything planned, to be honest... what about you Arthur?" I blush again, looking down.
"Well... I wanted to go into town in a couple of days, would you like to accompany me?" "WHAT?" I exclaimed surprised. "Uhm I mean.. yeah that would be nice, but you don't have to take me if you don't want to.." I say, I'm sure he is asking out of pity, since I don't really get to go into town all that often.
"What are you talking about y/n? I am literally asking you to come with me. Y/n will you please come into town with me?" He asks softly.
"But why me?" I look up at him in disbelief.
"I thought it was pretty obvious... I want to take you out into town. We can go eat somewhere and I'll buy you anything you'd like." He says and smiles down at me.
I look up at him and get up. I hug him. "I'd love that."
Part 2?
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My life with level 2 (part 1)
I'm making this post to share some things about my life and give an idea about what my support needs are
1. Every morning I wake up sealed in my cubby bed, an enclosed bed that keep me trapped inside so I dont wander and hurt myself or roll out and have a meltdown (common things that happen with me and regular beds). It's also soft so I don't potentially bang my head against something hard. you're probably wondering well how do I go to the bathroom at night. That brings me to my next point.
2. Every morning after opening up my cubby bed either my mom, dad, caregiver, or occasional close friend takes me to my changing station in my room and begins to change my diaper. Thats right I was NEVER able to potty train and due to EXTREME sensory issues I am unable to change myself. This means I need constant super vision as I always need someone to change me, also calm me down if meltdown, etc. I simply have no way to tell I need to go, 1 or 2, till its much too late. So yeah diapers are an all day thing not just at night.
3. I'm older then 20 and my parents are l now my legal guardians for life, and if they can't do it I have friends that will step up. I'm not sure exactly what this means legally but I take it to mean Im basically still a kid to them on like, every level. They respect my intelligence but they still set the rules. One that always kind of gets people mad but then they understand is the fact that I have child safety internet settings on my tablet and phone, I can't access most social media websites and I'm not alliowed YouTube only YouTube Kids. This is because my parents and close friends agree that these teenage boys from a nearby town were trying to make me an "lol cow", basicallly a target for online harassment and bullying and trolling me because I was special needs and active on social media. Tumblr with my parents having the username and password and log ins and they check it every day is all I get. My friends and parents show me things from TikTok and Youtube that they think i'll like so I don't miss out. Oh yeah and I would binge watch horror and terror content on youtube, something that a lot of autistic people do apparently, however I mentally can't handle it. I wake up and freak out and hit myself all night and lose sleep for a week and end up in a mental hospital cause I'm hurting myself and not sleeping. Not fun... at all. I had unrestricted internet access as a teenager and I'm glad that part of my life is over. My parents do however let me eat cannabis edibles every day so its not like they're over protective, just protective in the way I need.
4. My parents are my emotional coregulators and I rely on them heavily, a lot of the time just to know how I'm feeling. I break down emotionally frequently and if my parents or a select few of my friends aren't there to cuddle me and rub my back the right way, I FREAK out and start hitting myself cause my brain is a bit nutty I guess. I'm needy with those I love to a rediculous degree. I'm a lot better, still not great, at self soothing. Self soothing is an oxymoron for me. I kinda need to be with somebody to be told to calm down, encouraged to come out my shell, praised when I do something good, and just having a hand to hold. My mom is rubbing my back encouraging me to write this out like I said I wanted to do.
5. I need to stim, constantly. I'm always rocking, fidget toy and plushie in hand chewing on my chewing laynyard, you get the idea. I also need audio and visual stims which I get in the form of watching bright colorful little kid shows on my tablet like Blues Clues and Daniel Tiger. I think this is why people don't think I'm smart but its just who I am and what my needs are.
I think this is a good starting point, I'll make a part 2 later.
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Please tell me about the guy in your college dorm who got scurvy, I love a good modern day scurvy story. Like bro, have a delightful lemon-parm chicken
So in uni I lived in a co-ed dorm building where we had single-person rooms and shared a common room, washrooms/showers, laundry, and a kitchen. We also had a dining hall that we could purchase meal plans from (which i also had all 4 years, because i juggled full time school and 2 jobs at the same time. I did NOT have the time to cook for myself and I would not have done so in that kitchen to be frank). The building was split up into a bunch of different houses which we took personality quizzes to get assigned to in order to limit the amount of conflicts that would happen in this living situation. I was put in the smallest house (there were only 20 of us) and it was full of real chill like-minded people who liked to watch movies with me. This guy was the next door away from me, but wasn't my immediate next door neighbour because the stairwell broke up our house down the middle.
He was the house shut-in. He didn't really join any of the hang outs in the common room, or go out clubbing with us, he just kinda shut himself in his dorm room and never came out. Eventually we stopped slipping invitations to things under his door like we did with everyone else because there was no point. But I saw him in the dining hall and I saw him swiping a meal card a few times so I knew he was on the meal plan, meaning i KNEW he had access to fruit and veggies and even just like, juice. The food wasn't good but you had all the opportunities in the world to make it good FOR you, if that makes sense.
One of my jobs at this point was as an overnight security guard for an apartment building. I would come back around 4am and then crash out until 11 or 12 and then go to my afternoon and night classes. This is relevant because I was coming back into the building after a shift once in full uniform while he was sitting on the front steps and looking like he was hungover to the point of near-unconsciousness. I ask if he's feeling okay, if he needs anything, he waves me off and says he just needs some air. I'm like okay well, you know which doors mine if you change your mind bud.
He was an enigma who never spoke to us so I waved the situation off as too much college partying or something.
Over the next few days this becomes a common sight among everyone, who says they would also come back from their part time jobs or outings to him nearly passed out on a courtyard bench or something, a few people said they heard someone throwing up in our floor's shared bathroom.
About a week later I come back from my shift as usual and crash in bed until noon, expecting to wake up and go to my classes as usual. I grab my school bag and throw my regular coat and boots on and walk to class. I liked to sit in the back of that lecture hall because that prof had a rule that you were allowed to eat in his class as long as you sat in the last 3 rows, so I'd bring my breakfast and coffee in one of the dining hall to go boxes. I did not end up eating my breakfast or drinking my coffee.
In fact I did not make any notes on my laptop.
In fact, the house discord server blew up while I was asleep.
This guy, this fucking guy, had gone to our don (RA, basically) and told her he needed to go to the ER and then passed out on her couch. She doesn't have a car because none of us did, so everyone who was there and awake ended up dragging him to the closest hospital that was a few blocks away from campus on foot. Why they did not call an ambulance or at least an Uber is beyond me, but panic does weird things to people.
Reading through this in the corner of my eye before class starts, I have forgotten about class entirely. I have forgotten about my breakfast and my coffee. A few people were asking if they should ask for the don's master key and wake me up, thinking that i might have training in these things from what my job was (i did), and then others shut them down saying "no, let him sleep. He gets home at 4:30 in the morning" (WHY DIDNT YOU WAKE ME UP I WOULDNT HAVE CARED IF YOU SAID SOMEONE WAS HAVING A MEDICAL EMERGENCY. I COULDVE AT LEAST KEPT YOU ALL CALM AND DELEGATED TASKS)
I send a message in just saying "guys I'm up now what is going on" with an @everyone attached.
Instantly get "several people are typing." That's never a good sign.
So this guy was in the ER for hours getting IV-fed. Because he had scurvy. And they had to vitamin C infuse him. Because he hadn't eaten a single fruit or vegetable or anything derived from a plant the entire school year. He got SCURVY. IN THE YEAR OF OUR LORD 2019.
Bro eat a fruit. EVER?? But he just didn't. He just never did. He had fucking scurvy. He passed out and had bleeding gums and his teeth almost fell out. Because he had scurvy.
He did not come back the next school year because his parents pulled him out of the dorms on the basis that he couldn't be trusted to take care of himself after that incident. And I do not blame them at all. Ma'am your kid can't be trusted to eat one (1) orange all year.
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Yasammy Week Recap:
Day 1: "Hurt/Comfort"
This one was basic and simple; me just starting out. I probably could have done better, but, hey, Yaz literally comforting Sammy to calm her down from a full-blown panic attack works. As a sidenote, it's incredible that the writers had Panic Attacks be a Yaz Thing, and then brought her back to show that she's currently the Best Qualified on the team to deal with them (and fixed up her relationship issues with Sammy in the same blow, it's SO CARTOONY but perfect, I feel like we don't get these one-episode resolutions that often anymore).
Day 2: "Firsts"
This was a fun one, and probably the only one that I actually had some mental tryouts for. First kiss? First meeting? First teamup? There were so many choices...but this one felt right. Yasmina admitting that this is her first time having feelings for someone of the same sex (and the word "crushes" clearly means that Sammy's her first partner, too!).
Day 3: "Prom"
This is where things started falling apart, obviously. If we'd been given a proper five seasons with all sorts of Lost-style flashbacks and fantasies, I might have been able to pull something legitimate out. But also...Sammy said the word "prom", and also let it slip that she either loves fancy dresses or loves girls in dresses...and you know what? I count the latter as a point toward Yasammy.
Day 4: "Proposal/Engagement"
I don't remember how my brain wandered over to this, but I do know that I was lying down in bed at that time, because I literally sat bolt upright. My eyes snapped open, and I leaned up to secure all of that brain juice, as I realized the famous "Alan Grant uses two female buckles to tie himself in, foreshadowing the female dinosaurs finding a way to breed" could also have some WLW implications. It was a good joke, and you know what? As Sammy Gutierrez said: "It's beautiful, and we should be proud."
Hopefully, if the same prompt comes up next year, I can use a gif that actually includes the literal characters, and not metaphorical versions...Chaos Crew, please.....
Day 5: "Track Meet"
I think I was walking home when this one clicked in my mind, and I think I did a little hopskip and a dance. I was initially considering something like the two of them running for their lives together, or Sammy telling Yaz that she needed to rest to win gold medals in the future...but then, I thought about wordplay. I wondered if they were ever standing in dinosaur footprints, or tracking something. Then I thought about train tracks, and realized...yes. YES. This was perfect.
Had this not been available, I think I might have played with Yaz's scene where she uses running to realize her love for Sammy. Which is just a beautiful metaphor and a wonderful scene. Gifset's coming soon, by the way, I have the whole thing captioned.
Day 6: "Baking"
For every peak, there's a valley. Sometimes, you win. Sometimes, you lose. This was kind of a loss, because the girls sadly don't do any baking together. I considered the part where they're throwing the chips into the fire (TOXIC FUMES, GIRLS, DON'T DO THIS AT HOME, KIDS), but that's not really "baking". Furthermore, the Powers That Be chose to deny us any cooking escapades on the island, and while Sammy certainly bakes pies, Yaz is never present during those scenes...and, yes, I checked, and she never mentions her girlfriend while doing so, either. She only talks about her while fetching lemonade, which is different. Thus, I found myself in a sticky situation...which was kind of like the weather this month! So, it felt appropriate to use the concept of "baking in the sunlight on a hot day" here. I do like Sammy's silly little wave, and Yaz looking pityingly over at her.
Day 7: "Free Day"
This one, well...it ended on a bit of a sad note, but I was looking for something I had already set up. The caption is "Free Day", so I didn't want to put any work or effort into this. And while browsing my files, I saw that this one had the word "date", which is close to "day", and "expiration", which is the end of something, so...it felt apropos for the finishing touch on this beautiful week.
#yasammy#yasmina fadoula#sammy gutierrez#jwcc#jwct#chaos theory#camp cretaceous#yasammy week#jurassic world#jurassic world: chaos theory#jurassic world: camp cretaceous
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Hi i saw u wanna rewrite akikasa hcs PLEASE WRITE ME SOME I BEG /nf /lh
HJKJSKDKHS AKIKASA anyways I was referring to a short story I wrote a while ago but THIS!!! IS (I think) MY FIRST AKIKASA RELATED ASK!!!! I MUST WRITE!!!!!! All I have to do is figure out which thoughts are based on canon and which ones are AUs-
I took 18 days to finally post this because I kept getting ideas and had to force myself to stop because this is way too long 888 words man this ain't fanfiction also if this is illegible I'm sorry none of my headcanon posts will ever be organized no beta or read more we die like my grades after my orchestra field trip
Starting with basic shit Akito is SO so in denial about his feelings and when he's finally fed up with it he chucks it down to infatuation (It is not)
And Tsukasa is an oblivious idiot to everything even though he has a stupid crush on this ginger he just refuses to say anything because he still thinks Akito despises his guts
My guy every little bit of physical contact you make with carrot head makes him look like color hex #ff0000 RGB 255, 0, 0 how do you not notice this
Tsukasa fell first, and they both fell harder >:)
You know Tsukasa'a 1* card where Akito saved the poor man from a spider or something that's when it happened Tsukasa didn't know at first cause like haha who the hell falls in love with someone over something so small I barely even know the guy
If Akito confessed first, after a long moment of awkward silence and Akito wishing the floor would eat him alive, Tsukasa is suddenly hugging him and crying (That's a yes btw)
If Tsukasa confessed first, it would take a bit (probably a few days or weeks) but eventually Akito with the support of everyone finally accepts his feelings for Tsukasa (He didn't tell anyone about the confession btw it was probably Akiyama or one of Tsukasa's friends that told everyone also the threat of Rui was probably another reason he couldn't deny lmao)
Every date, and I mean EVERY SINGLE DATE, Tsukasa will always bring or buy some cheesecakes or pancakes for Akito
And if he doesn't the next time he brings lunch for Akito he'll bring him more cheesecake than he usually does to make up for it
When Tsukasa found out Akito's favorite flowers were sunflowers, he sometimes brings one for him too :D
Tsukasa probably got a pair of sunflower clip-on earrings too (Or whatever they're called)
Tsukasa loves to tackle hug Akito and it never fails to make the ginger laugh <3
Tsukasa borrows Akito's jackets a lot (At least twice a week).
Akito complains about it but let's be honest he loves it when he gets it back and all he smells on it is Tsukasa's scent
Tsukasa loves giving gifts to Akito even if there's no special occasion, usually some type of jewelry like earrings and the next day Akito's most likely wearing it
Obviously, they invite each other to their shows, and sometimes their other bandmates too
During WxS shows Akito's supportive and is internally loud but during VBS concerts Tsukasa is HOLLERING Akito's name and singing along if he knows the lyrics it's embarrassing but if you look closely enough you can tell it hypes up Akito a little more and he tries even harder (An has taken note of this and teases him nonstop about it)
Neither of them are a huge fan of PDA but if you stare long enough you'll probably miss a sneaky little kiss when you blink
That or if Tsukasa's in a really good mood he'll practically cling to Akito (Which is like 50% of the time tbh)
That one post I made on my side blog is real and so is the first tag
Yes Ena and Saki are supportive but holy shit Akito wants to fucking strangle Ena whenever she brings it up (This applies to An too)
Tsukasa helps Akito be more open with his feelings and Akito helps Tsukasa deal with negativity better
Around people, Akito still treats Tsukasa how he would (if Tsukasa isn't being clingy) but once they're alone Akito acts like he's touch starved and refuses to leave Tsukasa alone
Akito sometimes helps Tsukasa with practicing for his shows. He's obviously not as good but he's trying and Tsukasa appreciates his efforts
Tell Akito to say wonderhoy and he'll look at you like you're fucking insane but have Tsukasa tell him and he'll say it as unenthusiastically as he can manage
And then Tsukasa will look at him all :((( and Akito does it with more energy and "jesus fucking christ the things I do to make Tsukasa happy" (It's just a wonderhoy idk why you're so pissed /hj)
I do not understand Japanese and I am not caught up on that one event story with furry Akito so correct me if I'm wrong (about the italicized part) but before Akito gets over his fear of dogs Tsukasa always made sure they would steer clear of them and if one suddenly appeared this blond pink theatre kid is going to protect his pathetic fucking boyfriend with his life
Rui: Is that a hickey? | Tsukasa: No! It’s just a mosquito bite. | Akito, walking into the room: Hey, guys. | Rui: Hi, mosquito.
Whenever one of them stays up really late when staying over. the other tries to convince them to go to bed and cuddle/snuggle with them and it works.
Tsukasa practically begs meanwhile, if possible, Akito hugs Tsukasa from behind and basically just collapses onto him half asleep mumbling into his ear (Can you tell I'm tired it's 1 AM and I got 3 hours of sleep yesterday I'm running off of a power nap rn)
Obviously, Tsukasa can't do anything with Akito like that so he basically carries Akito to the room of whoever they're staying at
Akikasa supremacy WHO'S WITH ME AKIKASA!!!!!!! (I'm dying on a hill please)
Divider / Reply Icon made by me! ( 1 | 2 )
#the brainrot is strong#it is real#(ミ ᵕ ﻌ ᵕ ミ)┆Wanderer Writes#project sekai#pjsk#prsk#prosekai#pjsekai#project sekai colorful stage#hatsune miku project sekai#hatsune miku colorful stage#akikasa#shinonome akito#akito shinonome#tenma tsukasa#tsukasa tenma#headcanons#pjsk headcanons#I'm gonna die doing as much homework as I can now I haven't been here mentally for the last three weeks I am so far behind
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Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Fic masterlist | Masterlist
SUCROSE
Paring: Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader
Summary: Visiting his mother that likes you dearly, to Spencer’s happiness, taking care of each other makes butterflies go all over the place. Asking for advice for friends. (They live in the same building, in the same corridor, just in front of one another… which helps the friendship but couldn't stop Dr. Reid from falling in love)
Word account: 1905
Warnings: Fluff, friends to lovers, anxiety, possessiveness?, pain, menstruation, innocent kisses?, talks abour orgasm...
A/N: English is not my first language. Reblog, like and comment. I am accepting suggestions for next parts. Please be nice. The Gif is not mine. Credits to the oner
Chapter 3: Narcotics, care and family
Spencer's Point of View
She figured out my narcotic problem.
She didn’t ask a single thing, she respected and is supportive. I love how she takes care of me. I remember when she put the pisces together, I was in pain and was so rude to her, I wonder if someday I will deserve her.
—----------------
I was having a bad day, a bad week, and treated my friend in a way she didn’t deserved.
“I am sorry, I am really sorry”
She kept looking at me, in her door. I felt gray again, I felt worse than I was feeling.
“You never told me your name.”
“What?” Confusion was spread across my face.
“You never told me your name Sugarpout. We talk for months, but we have never said our names, we bonded, became friends and never had asked for names.”
She was right, now that she said it… I think about her constantly, I know so many things about her as she knows about me, and we never asked, it never even crossed my mind, it was so easy to be around her, I craved the company so much that I never remembered this little detail, such an important detail.
“My name is Spencer, Reid. Spencer Reid. What is your name?”
—----------------------
In this instant I had major head and back pain, thanks to the last unsub. At least we got him.
“Hey Sugarpout, I did a lot of research, and you basically can't take any painkillers meds. But luck you, I have a few tricks, and I’m gonna take care of you.”
Say the girl owner of my soul, invading my home, isn't she satisfied with invading my dreams and thoughts?
“Would you prefer to lay on the couch or in your bed?”
“Couch” I will have so many problems controlling my imagination and body responses if we get to my bedroom now.
“Leave your head like… this”
She adjusts me, and starts rubbing my forehead with some oil. I love her touch. I closed my eyes, starting to relax and feel better with the delicate massage she was giving, so caring, so… everytime was harder not loving her the way I do love. The selfish way I love. Wanting her all for myself.
—-------------------------------------
Y/N’s Point of View
“May I open a little of your shirt?”
He silently agrees, my hands slowly travel off his forehead, the sides of his face, his neck… starting to open a few buttons so I can reach and massage his shoulders more properly. My fingers do their magic putting pressure on his skin, feeling the tension slipping away second by second, every time my skin runs his skink, more comfortable is set between us.
“Feeling better?”
“You always make me feel better.”
“You should rest a little, I can keep you company if you want.”
“I would love you staying here with me.”
And so I did, I stayed for the whole day. Light music, reading, healthy snacks and lots of water, just enjoying our time together.
“I am going to see my mom this weekend.” He pauses, pressing his lips in a flat line raising his eyebrows a little looking at me as if considering his idea. “I… you know… my mom… would you… do you want to… go with me?”
“To see your mom?”
“Yeah. I mean, you don’t have to. I know she… well…” He laughs without humor. “It wouldn't be your first time seeing her, but I know…”
“Sugarpout, I would love to go with you, I want to go. I like your mother.”
He relaxes, and looks at me, in a way I don’t know how to describe, I just know that it makes me feel good, better, makes my skin light up and the butterflies alive in my whole body.
—------------------------------------
Spencer’s Point of View
Adoration, love… There are not enough words to describe my feelings for her, for Y/n, my Sugar, as I am her Sugarpout.
She made a few things to eat, and she called the doctor in the clinic to know if it was ok and what she could or couldn't make. So now we have a lot of cookies, cupcakes, cakes and brownies. She made sure to have enough for everyone in the clinic, and a side a special treat to my mom, in a special box.
“Hey mom”
“Ah, Spencer”
“Hi Mistress Reid. It's good to see you again, we bring a little something for you.”
“A present?”
“Yes, a special present for you Mistress Reid”
My mother's face lights up a little when opening the box. That is my Sugar, always bringing light to every place she goes… Maybe someday she will be truly mine.
“Oh, dear, you didn't have to…”
“It was a pleasure, as you can see, I put phrases from a few of your favorite books, so you can read and devour the words.”
“That is very thoughtful of you. Thank you.”
They got to talk, a lot of talking, my mother even showed my baby pictures, to my embarrassment. But I couldn't feel that bad when they smiled so happily, the womens of my life.
“You are a very wise women”
Sugar compliments my mother, she is always so gentle and true. She is called by one of the doctors and excuses herself.
“I see the way you look at her. She is a good girl.”
“She is.”
“You should put a ring on her, a rare creature like her… is meant to be taken care of, I can see she cares about you.”
“We are friends, mom.”
“A mother knows Spencer. A mother always knows”
“Hey Sugarpout, sorry about that, the doctor just wanted to be sure about the ingredients. We don't want anyone having allergic reactions. Care to keep teaching me Mistress Reid?”
“I would love.”
“Once a professor always a professor.”
She pays attention to everything we say, to the whole conversation, until it is time for us to go.
—-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Y/N’s Point of View
Cramps.
The every month torture that people blessed with uterus go trough.
I don’t have the will to move, everything hurts, I am tired all the time and soon there will come the blood. I am thinking about calling in sick, or just losing the day… but I do need the money. Oh God, why wasn't I born a billionaire?
A knock at my door and a voice take me out of my sad thoughts.
“Sugar? Are you okay? Haven't heard of you yet today, I am starting to get worried”
“No, nothing is ok” I make a crying voice, to add more drama.
“May I come in?”
“Yes, use your key, I don't want to move”
Spencer cautiously entered my place, looking around, the view was terrible. I am swollen, feeling tired, dark circles under my eyes, some pimples… and even worse, I am in pain.
“What is wrong Sugar?”
“I am awful and everything hurts.”
Spencer comes closer and hugs me, the warmth of his hand is in the exact place, making the terrible pain more supportable.
“Oh, don't you dare move your hand. It is the perfect spot.”
“As my Sugar wish. Now. Can you tell why everything hurts? What is the problem?”
“The problem is that seems like the Devil is using needle high heels, knife needle high heels, made a fireplace and is dancing around my uterus.”
“So… cramps?”
“You say it like that because you ain't the one feeling it.”
“Oh, no Sugar. I am sure this is really horrible.”
He places his warm lips on my forehead in a tender kiss.
“There is anything I can do to make you feel better?”
“Just keep your hands in place. It is good.”
“Orgasm. It can help with the pain. When you orgasm, your body releases chemicals like oxytocin and dopamine that act as painkillers.”
“Are you saying that next time you are in pain I should give you an orgasm?”
“What?”
I laugh a little about his comment, poor Doctor Reid, someday I may kill him out of embarrassment.
“It is ok Sugarpout. I am just not in the mood for any sex activity. I am swollen and ugly.:
“You are as beautiful as ever. You are always beautiful”
“Thank you Sugarpout, you are always so gentle.”
We stay a moment in silence, just in each other's arms, but he has to break this moment even if neither of us want to.
“Are we not going to work today?”
“We are going to work today.”
“Good, cause I kinda just passed by to see how you were doing. I got to go to the office. But, if you want, I can call back and see if I can take the day off…”
“No, no Spencer, you should go to work.”
“I really don't mind staying if you want me too.”
“I will be fine. Go make the others life more sweet Sugarpout”
I feel him relaxing against me, and stopping holding me really slowly.
“Do not worry, you are going to have a lot of time to take care of me. It can last fifteen days, ten days, a week… my cramps ain't regular. In the end it will be all fine.”
“Hope you get better as soon as possible.”
“Good work Sugarpout”
And then, he really has to go.
—---------------------------------------------------------------
Spencer’s Point of View
I am trying to concentrate on the job, but my mind always comes back to my Sugar, I know she said it will be fine, and she can be a little dramatic sometimes, but it does not change my concern.
“Ahn… hey Emily, what do you usually do to alleviate your period cramps?”
I did a lot of research about the subject, everything I could find, but with experience I learned that just reading isn't enough and every human experiences stuff in different ways.
“What? Where did it come from?”
“What am I losing?”
Emily is uncertain about answering Morgan, why he always shows… well he did grow up with sisters.
“I was asking Emily, how could someone alleviate period cramps.”
“Is this about the door girl?”
“What girl?”
“Sweet girl, that lives right across Pretty Boy and has his keys.”
“You’re kidding me!”
“Ask him.”
“Well, Spencer?”
“Yes, she is my neighbor, she is a really nice girl, and she has an extra key to my apartment.”
“If she is just a neighbor, why the cramps questions?”
“She is also a friend.”
“A very dear friend.”
“You should invite her to go out with us. I will love to know the girl occupying the Doctor Reid thoughts”
“Are you going to answer my question or just amuse yourselves with the new information?”
“Ok, I may have a few tips, but you will need to see what works for her, it isn't always the same.”
“And I can give you a few tips on how to survive this period, cause women can be savage, and I ain't talking savage in a nice way.”
Prentiss reprimanded Derek with a look and a little hit in his head.
I paid very close attention to what they had to say, so I was more prepared when I came back home, and being able to take care of Sugar, my Sugar. Doing my best to make her the more comfortable as possible, and the smile bright in her face was the best part of my whole day.
---------------------------------------------------------
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Fic masterlist | Masterlist
Tag List: @mikitsuki
#spencer reid x reader#criminal minds#doctor spencer reid#spencer reid#spencer reid criminal minds#spencer reid fluff#criminalminds#dr spencer reid fluff#spencer reid fanfic#criminal minds fanfic
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I really mean it. Don't trust any review that you see online about anything Star Wars. Specially the Acolyte and the latest series. You would be surprised how many are made in bad faith, and with the Acolyte they have multiplied. Talk to your friends that have actually watched it and talk about it in a reasonable way. It's ok if you don't like the series or decide is not your thing, as someone who has really liked it, I know that it's far from perfect. Don't engage with reviews online unless you really really trust the person, because many are made with bad faith and/or nostalgia-tinted glasses that honestly make people forget how the original trilogy really is. It's the reason I stopped reading or watching ANYTHING resembling a review related to Star Wars because it is surprising how easy it turns into a toxic rant that many times can be boilt down into racism and misoginy.
Honestly, even avoiding all of that, with the Acolyte I almost burnt out of the fandom of how terrible it was. I luckily didn't received any hate myself but I have a friend who posts information and fun facts between other things (doesn't do reviews, or opinions, it's mostly all factual(if you have an instagram follow him in @skynobi_starwars, he is always on top of the latest news and posts frequently but without spaming)) on instagram and he was showing me the amount of comments just spewing hate whenever he posted anything about the series and it was disgusting. He said that there had always been some, but they had basically multiplied.
But that's his situation, mine was in real life. I have a coworker who also loves Star Wars and his mask fell off when on episode 3 the wItches showed up and suddenly all of his critiques were about the amount of black people and lesbians that were there. By the next episode everything was just shit and how they should fire the entire team. Basically screaming and being impossible to talk to. Which honestly made me really sad because he had always been a person with who I could talk to about anything Star Wars related. Worst of all, a younger coworker who was wondering if to watch the series entered into watching "reviews" that were outright lying about what happened in the episodes or of people that straight up didn't watch it. He showed me a few and they were all the same. I had to spend a good while proving to him how the series was review bombed even before starting and just proving almost every lie those people were telling and how most of it. It was exhausting and terrifying, I was also really worried because this coworker is very young and what he showed me bordered some alt-right beliefs that should be near NOBODY. And, holy shit, was this a slide to the far right pipeline.
The only reason I didn't burn out is because I have a trusted group of friends with whom I could comment the episodes and have fun making jokes about it. Curiously, my dad also watched it and enjoyed it. But that's basically that's all I had to reduce my feedback of Star Wars for WEEKS to not burn out with how everything was going both online and real life.
And I know that there's a lot of toxic parts of the Star Wars fandom. My recommendation is not engage with any of the big names in the fandom (you know who I am referring to, specially in Youtube). Again, it's not that you cannot be critical, there is a lot to be critical in Star Wars, there is also much that one may dislike, but there is a line. And a lot of people that called themselves reviewers crossed and are so far away in their delusion of how anything that Disney does becomes an attack against them that they will never be able to enjoy the saga again. But raging like that will just result in another Rise of Skywalker, not another Empire Strikes Back.
Instead, look for friends with who you enjoy talking about Star Wars and have fun watching, playing, reading, etc with the saga. Because at the end of the day that's what we want, to have fun with it and enjoy the journey. Sometimes it may disappoint, but if you are always looking for that like a big part of the fandom that posts online, you are never going to enjoy it again.
And isn't Star Wars better when you focus on what makes you happy about it than on what you didn't like?
(Also, again, watch out for the people who are being racist, mysoginistic, homophobic... I can't emphasize how even I, that I try to curate as much as I can my experience in the fandom, I found them fast this time)
#star wars#sw memes#not funny#really#the acolyte#obi wan kenobi#obi wan kenobi series#ahsoka#ahsoka series
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Carry On Countdown Day 27 - Intertwined
For this year's COC I've decided to put together daily fic rec lists! Let me know if you find any new favorite reads from these <3
For todays prompt I've gone with fics that involve cuddling, hugging, or waking up intertwined
mon cœur qui bat by @facewithoutheart
Rated T, 3,848 words
All Simon wants is a safe place to sleep. His magic has other ideas. The fic where Simon’s made of fluff but Baz is the real softie.
Sixty Seconds by @artsyunderstudy
Rated T, 2,807 words
Penny told Simon that if you hug someone for sixty seconds it'll make them happier. When Simon finds Baz crying in the Mage's office he can't help but offer.
Bergamot by @basic-banshee
Rated G, 1,008 words
“I didn’t mean to wake you,” he says, reaching a hand out to brush through my curls absentmindedly before resuming his typing. “When did you get here?” I mutter, shifting myself so I can press a kiss to the cool thigh next to my head. I don’t think he brought pyjamas, because he’s just in his pants and a jumper, which is not even close to his usual sleepwear.
Bunk Beds by Cynosure_phases
Rated T, 2,959 words
Over the past week and a half, I’ve witnessed three splinters impale Snow, had my head hit sitting up more than five times, and noticed Snow’s pissing pattern in correlation to what he has with dinner. Tonight, though, I decided to slip out early to feed. And maybe I shouldn’t, because now I’m facing a dilemma. Snow. In my bed. - Simon messed up and spelled the beds together into a bunk bed, and now they’re stuck in a childlike loop of these beds. That is, until Simon passes out on bottom bunk accidentally and doesn’t want to move for Baz.
Erasing the Line (a Crossing the Line remix fic) by Tbazzsnow
Rated T, 12,032 words
One bed. Two boys. Three nights. An errant spell removes Baz's bed from their shared room. SImon and Baz must figure out how to deal with the situation and with each other. A remix of Crossing the Line by f-ing-ruthless-baz.
Room for The Two of Us by Cynosure_phases
Rated M, 13,882 words
And Snow, brilliant supernova Snow, just leans to me as he smiles. “See,” he whispers even quieter. He prods his finger into my cheek and sends me spiraling. I’m smiling. Smiling. “This Baz doesn’t kill me for sayin’ jack shit.” “’M not gonna kill you, Snow,” I mumble, my hands finding themselves on his knees. Thighs. They slid down to his thighs, and now he’s pinker in the cheeks than before, but laughing. He’s laughing so much. I want to implode. - The bathtub of their shared bathroom is quite large; it’s deep enough to comfortably fit two people, and if you shift just right around the spout, you can sit face to face with relative comfort. The boys find something special in there, making it seemingly the only place where they can stand each other.
Night After Night by Sobriquette
Rated T, 21,823 words
It's not something I ever thought I'd be doing, crawling into bed with Baz in the wake of my nightmares. They're not just nightmares anymore though, are they? Because the Humdrum can summon me. It could summon me at any moment. That’s why this makes sense. Baz is a brilliant magician and just brilliant in general. If we ended up whisked away in the middle of the night Baz would get us out of there (or himself at least). And if not? Well, if The Humdrum killed Baz that would solve some of my problems. So, I suppose it has to be Baz. It has to be Baz because it doesn’t really matter if he dies.
✨Gratuitous self rec✨
A Life in Naps and Cuddles by me! @skeedelvee
Rated M, 1,947 words
Moments of Simon and Baz cuddling or napping together, told through a collection of vignettes
If you have any recs that fit the prompt that I've missed, feel free to leave them in the comments! There's plenty of gaps in my reading so there's a good chance I may not have read it
Also I've had a hard time finding if some people are here on Tumblr, so if you know someone who hasn't been tagged, feel free to leave that in the comments as well <3
@carryon-countdown
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hi, i haven't slept much in 3 days so this is probably gonna be all over the place but my very unstable hotspot internet is actually letting me load some tumblr features right now so here comes a personal ramble behind the cut!
that map i created for you is not to scale but fun(?) fact: somewhere along the red trail of that lower arrow is where robert downey jr. evacuated from his home with his family, btw
one neat thing that happens whenever fires break out in my part of california is that i get to hear about which celebrities live close by, when they get affected and the news picks it up. i've known about rdj's residence(s) already so nothing new there, but i didn't hear anything about him after the fire next to pepperdine last month (which was actually closer to his place than the palisades fire, though the latter is a lot worse) so that kind of puts this situation into perspective (what becomes newsworthy as a means of assessing how bad it is: last month it was cher and dick van dyke in the local news, this time it's rdj, so ⚖️)
the wind got really bad for a bit there—hurricane force—but it wasn't as intense as it was last month, and yet for whatever reason the power situation seems to keep getting extended this time; now it's looking like it could take as long as until saturday to restore, which really sucks. i know that there's people who are way more impacted than i am by this mess (including people i know; i offered to shelter some of them, but traffic conditions made it too hard to get to me), and so far i'm not at any imminent evacuation risk (though some of these fires have been getting too close for comfort), but i'm still not having a good time, here. day 1 of a power outage can be kinda fun, if still annoying -- you get to cancel all your appointments and light all the candles and putter around a spooky kitchen cooking soup by lamplight and carrying a flashlight all through the dark, quiet house while your dog trails behind you wherever you go (she doesn't like this wind, either), and there's something cozy about that. but eventually the novelty wears off and the lukewarm running water is becoming an issue and WHY DID I HAVE TO BUY SUCH EXPENSIVE GROCERIES 😫 right before the fridge lost power (i wanted to treat myself for my birthday last week so i went to follow your heart in canoga park and went on a vegan gourmet donut /carrot cake/what-have-you shopping spree before hitting up erewhon[$$$] on the way home) and you use way too much of your remaining laptop battery life to bingewatch the two seasons of 'the newsreader' (SO GOOD) that you torrented, and the lack of sleep from the too-noisy weather and helicopters circling and the agitated dog that keeps nervously cuddling up against you and the stress-brain that won't turn off, reminding you of all the things you'd have to do in the event of an evacuation and coming up with SO MANY WAYS things could go wrong (and then managing to find ways of making those scenarios even worse around 3-4am, by which time you've basically given up on actually sleeping).
ok. this is long now. anyway what i was getting at is that the punchline throughout all of this is that there's a silver lining in these situations, which is that i find myself suddenly very interested in reading fics again (an interest that i've been struggling with reviving lately), so i'm making a relatively good dent in my reading list right now. i have more to say about the recent stony holiday exchange and how much fun i had with one fic in particular, but it seems that all of that will have to wait even longer. was that what i wanted to say with this post?? i don't even know anymore. i'm gonna go light the pilot on my stove with a match and boil water in a pot instead of my electric kettle and make myself a very belated cup of morning tea. bye bye (for now).
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