#i hate the culture of independence
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There's this guy, Dr Russell Barkley, he does talks on ADHD. I've come across a fair bit of his content on various platforms.
Every time I see one of his videos I end up in tears. Usually within the first few minutes.
He speaks very plainly and clearly about the function of ADHD. He presents a realistic picture of what is happening and what is required.
I came across this one:
youtube
In typical fashion, I found myself crying within a few minutes.
Because other than schooling I have never had a support system. I have never had a single person in my life really hold me accountable. I have never had anyone work with me to create some kind of structure or consistency.
Everything he said, even within the first minutes, resonated with me so deeply. Because I honestly have no idea if I can do this alone. And it scares me that I might wind up getting nowhere because I am lacking in support.
ADHD is manageable. But it is damn near impossible to manage alone.
I just don't know where to go from here.
#mine#adhd#executive dysfunction#dr russell barkley#D has of course offered his support#but i cant foresee this being feasible#i dont need daily governance but i do need it regularly#multiple times a week at least#and hes a very busy guy#and i dont want to portray myself as incapable#he is also literally the only person who is offering support#and he does know how to push me effectively without inducing guilt#i dont know if its reasonable or too much to ask#i dont know if he would be happy to accommodate or if i will be painting myself into a corner as someone who is not independent enough#yes. communicating this and receiving his support would help us progress this relationship which we both want#but what if disclosing this needs removes me as an option altogether?#i dont hate having adhd#and there are positive sides to it#i hate the culture of independence#i hate the weakness attached to those who need support#and i hate the shame and guilt that comes with it#im lost#Youtube
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An independent Courier would actually hate being in charge or enforcing standards in New Vegas. At least in my mind.
They made Vegas independent but I feel like that playthrough/style so clearly makes it apparent it isn't for them. They are making Vegas a place where people can live freely, like how House genuinely didn't care what people did but without the behind-the-scenes Big Brother surveillance he did. Having every family, faction, and other influence group or person comes to them about alliances or rules would be draining, and boring, one note.
In an independent Vegas, The Courier is also Independent. They like getting rid of lines and borders that impede freedom, they like to help give people the tool but I don't believe they want to be the one to shape it.
#a lot of this is like how ncr started but then lost its way#the courier would like a democracy but like one that is truly run by the people like if public votes or letting people split off and embrac#their traditions instead of a universal standard like house changing the tribes caesar wiping out so many cultures and the ncr whole thing#with their money being worthless in territories they have not taken control over cause people dont want to#the courier doesnt want to be house 2.0 and i see that so often in peoples interpretations of that ending and I just dont think its the cas#like theyd stay to help it stablize for a but ultimately i think theyd leave to clean up any loose ends or just travel the mojave like#a lot of the dialouge good or evil is very much like the courier doesnt want the responsiblity to be placed on them rather they choose what#they want to take on that is not presented in sort of a scenerio where they losely rule NV cause everyone else would go to them even if the#say they arent in charge#i at least for the follower quest tell them their choices are theirs and no one elses so i see that as their outlook so im biased#cause im also good karma just for how nice I am and I like doing crazy adventure shit and its actually hard to have fun when everyone hates#you for being legion#anyway make of this what you will#fallout#fallout new vegas#fnv#the courier#courier six#courier fnv#the strip fnv#robert edwin house#caesar’s legion#new california republic#independent vegas
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I can't believe that it's just now occurring to me that my mom hasn't made any real changes. She's just putting on a mask and hoping I'll stay. I feel like such a moron.
All my life; my mom has bad mouthed my eldest sister Nicole and always told me how amazing I was, how I was G-d's gift to her, how I was her last chance at being a good mom and she told me all these things when I was as young as 6 or 7. What's really interesting to me is that she rarely ever mentioned her middle child Sarah and when she did; it was usually only in conjunction with my eldest sister and how they both sucked because neither of them speak to her.
Why do I find her lack of speaking about Sarah interesting? Because according to both Sarah and Nicole; my mom repeatedly sabotaged her relationship with my middle sister even though said sister was much more forgiving and actively sought her out.
But what's really REALLY pathetic on my part is that I didn't realize that she only started to "change" once I told her that I wasn't going to speak to her once I left. This happened about 2 years ago and it happened after my step dad said something hurtful and she basically prodded me to answer whether or not I'd stay. Not what she could do to better herself or how I was in pain but "Are you lying to me? Are you lying to me until you can leave? Are you planning on leaving? Please tell me how to fix this"
But this isn't anything new because something similar happened after I was baker acted because I was suicidal. When they visited me in the hospital; I told them I was tired of being beat and I hate them. The beatings stopped after that and until last Saturday; neither of them put their hands on me.
Then going back to two years ago; I told her that I wanted her to respect me like I respected her and suddenly she was much more supportive, suddenly more loving, suddenly paying more attention, suddenly wanting to spend more time with me, suddenly respecting me.
It's like she hears "ok ok ok so THIS is what I need to do to keep her here with me"
#narc mom#I hate how pop culture has misused the word narcissist and applied it to everyone#but I genuinely think she might be one#and even if shes not theres no going back#tw abuse#shes always been threatened by my growing independence too 🤔
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Happy fourth of july if you're not american here's what being american is like
#america#happy 4th of july#happy 4th#independence day#anti capitalism#fuck america#amerikkka#american politics#american culture#americana#american idiot#united states#fuck the usa#fuck the us government#fuck usa#i hate america
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i say this w complete sincerity. i really do think that the reason so many british people are always mad at americans is bc they really do think we're still like. basically the same country. like you're mad that we pronounce words differently or eat different foods ? Of course we do. because we're different countries. hey man it's been over 200 years. its normal that our cultures have diverged somewhat, and it's okay. sorry you lost the war but it was for the best <3
#i say this with only love in my heart. it is bizzarre to expect a former colony that became independent over 200 yrs ago to maintain the#exact same culture as you. god bless etc#i have absolutely no theory as to why so many australians apparently hate americans <3 i do find it funny tho bc americans tend to have#very positive feelings abt australia bc of steve irwin lol
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not one of my kids emailing me a MONTH before school starts asking if there will be any exams the first week of school like honey please throw your school chromebook in the east river and go to the park and play a made up game with your friends i didnt give summer homework on purpose please be a child please be free
#i get that grindset culture is really pervasive and this kid knows shes gonna have to bust her ass to get ahead in life but damn#i should not be telling 12 year olds how to deal with burnout#constantly torn between telling the kids fuck all this shit do what makes you happy#and being like yeah youre right if you ever want to be able to move out and have financial independence in this city you gotta bust ass#i hate it here#parents if your kids are this stressed and obsessed with school please do not see this as a good thing
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Last post I prommy. But it seems to me that Netflix falls into the same category as Uber and AirBnB, where the business model is to stay unprofitable until you put the competition out of business, and then jack your prices up and your product quality down because you’re the only option and you can. Except, while Netflix put its original competitor out of business (Blockbuster), it accidentally inspired a ton of new competitors before it could reach the point of recouping its initial losses, and then it was screwed. Anyways that’s why you should always be skeptical of ‘disrupters’
#I hate disrupters I hate Silicon Valley I hate startup culture#Airbnb is slightly different bc the people renting out properties have a decent control over both cost and quality#but in practice the same thing has happened#except the competitors that got put out of business were not major hotel chains but small independent places
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yuletide discord server is really not succeeding at feeding me [social writing activity emotion that leads me to write] and i am instead wasting hours on [nonendorsed fic community server/archives] and it is making me irritable and also causing me to write using weird syntax as displayed here and i had like six hours to write my evil yuletide fic and didn't >:(
#if you're wondering how ive resolved my problem from before#it's that now that i have like a week of distance from revisitng the most irritating part of canon#i no longer feel that my [story element that points out relevant problems with canon premise] is unequivocally morally correct#so now instead everyone can have a confusing and frustrating interaction that mostly ends up satisfying their various goals#doesn't obviously lead them to alter their future behavior except for having incidentally caused two protagonists to hook up#and then everyone goes home#you know. 'plot'#text box#box opener#who wants to conjure a different chatty genre-independent fic server for me#containing exclusively people who are informationally screened off from all yuletide participants#allowing me to extensively workshop my stupid fanfiction and also watch lots of other people just discuss the concept of fanfic at length.#don't actually do that usually i turn out to be a bad culture fit for servers [in an 'i drift off rapidly' way not an 'everything catches f#re' way]-- ugh i hate that ive adopted this speech pattern don't read other people's rp threads for hours by accident.
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realized that as far as I know my abuse primarily started after 9/11...much to think about
#kind of joking but kind of not#like. do you think the situation created a feeling of lost control and hopelessness and fear that they just used me to alleviate??#its probably not that deep but its an interesting thing to me#idk idk idk#theres a lot of other reasons why it all happened so im not like grasping for explanations. just a curiousness#i just wonder how much their hate got solidified by the post 9/11 culture#especially since my mom may have been pregnant at the time#...i really love my brother but i do wonder if things would have been different if he wasnt born. it almost certainly would not be#but when im that sad my brain isnt exactly rational#also there's nothing saying i wasnt being abused before then#or that maybe it only started then because i was old enough to hate#old enough to push back and try developing autonomy and independence#which i know is a trigger for my moms abuse#hrm
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Mesoamerica having one of the four recognized independent inventions of writing and Europe having 0 🤭 you have to laugh
#(this isnt counting proto-writing and ideographic systems - though those are usually precursors to full fledged writing systems)#(the four independent systems are Cuneiform/Egyptian Hieroglyphics/Chinese characters and Maya script)#the Latin Alphabet for example would not count as it did not develop independently from these and other previously used writing systems#and I really dont think a writing system is what determines a culture's worth - I fucking hate that. BUT its always fun to point out#discrepancies in people's preconceived notions of history and archaeology. especially when they use pseudo-history to justify their bs
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apparently when he was given baseball tickets for whichever gift holiday (I think it was for his birthday from his mom) he was given two tickets. which, if it's from his mom, like. I know that game girl. I see that. but it's not my circus so like whatever, I still get to see baseball and I don't have to be more than distantly polite to you either.
#3 for 4 on culturally recognized moms I don't vibe with lmao#(my stepmom is fine I do genuinely like her I'm just not very close to her)#but my mom and matt's mom and arin's mom all have some significant behavioral overlaps that I don't fuck with at all.#(the dads range from 'pretty okay' to 'top 5 people on earth' tho)#(even the one I do dislike is a fine guy I just specifically hated living in that house so there's lingering bad vibes)#(obviously my dad is the best one. I think I get a lot of my morality from him even though he never directly taught me.)#(like one time in high school I decided independently to walk a friend home who'd been harassed from a passing car the day before)#(when I told dad this so he'd know where I was he offered to come too.)#(like he's not perfect for sure but.)#(he did everything he could. he *does* everything he can.)#(anyway thank god I got one good parent and I got far enough away from the other to be able to actually get to know him.)
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Look up "Project 2025" for sheer pants-wetting terror. For a little taste of the American Evangelical Christian extremism in regards to all things Israel.... Well, here's a Youtuber who covers it covering megachurch pastor Greg Locke. And John Hagee, who used to televise an actual television way back in the '90s and I think he still does somewhere. Warning: The guy has some disgusting Antisemitism that he thinks is actually pro-Jewish as well as disgusting anti-Arab sentiment. This is mainstream stuff for Evangelicals. (Not so much Catholics, Anglicans, Methodists, etc.), but this is the dominant "American political church sentiment" and, thus, dominates over the Republican party. (In the early 2000s, I went to a Baptist church. Back then, they didn't tell you how to vote, unlike today, not outright - the pastor was not allowed to. However, fellow churchgoers in common pre and post-service conversation would say "God wants you to vote Republican." This typically tied back to pro-life views, conservative views on sexuality and views on "earning one's keep" in terms of economics. The grooming by the prominent people have been going on for years). Foreign policy just came along with it both as a "Republicans Good! Democrats Bad!" thing and a "Israel are God's Special Little Guys." Guy doing commentary plays video games and makes jokes so you aren't left without guardrails. Bonus Content: (Although it doesn't have anything to do with current foreign policy) - Behind the Bastards start of a 3 part on the worst of American political Christianity.
(Posted in response to someone reblogging and tagging that they didn't know enough about the issue I addressed). And even though it's "a Republican issue" it leaks HEAVY into the Democrats, too. It's just where we are in life.
#shadsie rants#I'm an actual semi-religious person who cannot WAIT for the secularization of my culture#as long as I'm not hated for having independent spiritual views#but from what I've seen secularists just generally want everyone to have rights even religious ones and be left alone#currently I'm promoting Christianity Minus Hell#because I think its the fear of Hell that makes people as crazy as they are in my country#shadsie goes off on a tangent#because I think it's the main issue#but there are loads of others like money-involvement#I grew up near a Lockeed-Martin plant so it is definitely so in terms of money money money
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Astro Observations 3
Accuracy influenced by ENTIRE natal chart.
Mars Aspect Asc.
- Acting independently. Respecting independence in others. Dislike copycat & weak behaviours.
- Entrepreneurship indicator. Leadership positions in work and relationships. You take charge.
- Having more enemies than friends. People have strong reactions to you. Lust or Hate. You bring out competition in others.
- You have to fight throughout your life. People sub consciously want to fight/challenge you.
- Strong body. Athletic body. A fire in you. Passionate and driven person.
- Be cautious of relationships where people want to tame you. People want submission from you. They both like and dislike your independent fiery nature. Be cautious of violent partners. Seen way too many with mars ascendant conjunctions deal with violent partners.
- Competitive person. May enjoy physical hobbies. May actually enjoy verbal altercations. Fan of watching a ports or likes playing sports. MMA fan.
- Prone to acne. Prone to accidents - cuts, burning self, etc. May have to go through a surgery. Cosmetic or needed. Mars can cause “cuts” to your body.
Accuracy influenced by houses & signs.
Venus Aspect Asc.
- Dimples. Pleasant person. Enjoy taking care of yourself (shower routines, self care routines, skincare routines, etc.)
- Will lie to keep peace and appear polite. Fake smile. Fake “thank you”. Fake “Good luck”.
- It’s not talked about enough but you can be very envious of others. Wondering why someone else got the compliment and you didn’t. Fake “happy for you”. You can be envious of other’s beauty without seeing your own.
- And others can be envious of you. People just assume you only got things because of your appearance.
- Having admirers. Yet, if afflicted in natal, you probably don’t get approached. For ex: Strong Mars or Scorpio placement aspects makes you appear intimidating. Perception of you changes drastically to stuck up bitch instead of cute girl.
- Two types of venus asc people: Fashion loving or Comfort loving. Depends on entire chart.
- Often, love specific brands. Have an eye for style. Appreciate good marketing.
- Hiding true feelings behind a smile. Feeling the need to hide negative feelings to keep the peace.
- Generally popular. Charming. Polite. Good at making others feel comfortable.
Accuracy influenced by house & sign.
Uranus Aspect Mars.
- Unpredictable anger. Quick & easily angered. Irresponsible and reckless when angry. Quick to act on anger. The kind of person to reveal the truth when angry. Uncontrolled anger.
- Have to fight for freedom. Rebellious.
- If you don’t have scorpio placements, you likely dislike merging with groups and partners. You maintain independence and individuality. Trendsetter not a follower.
- Initial response to commitment is to run. May be due to bad experiences in witnessing or being in relationships.
- May have grown up in an unstable environment and/or unpredictable parents. Constant change is your normal.
Accuracy influenced by houses & sign.
Venus Aspect Jupiter.
- Good fortune. Wealth indicator. However, overindulge can be a problem. Generally, always have money when needed despite spending carelessly.
- Good humour. Social. Popular. Love of life.
- Finding yourself very lucky throughout life. House & sign can tell you more. If opposition or square, this can be people perceiving you as lucky. People refusing to see/understand your hardships.
- Having to go through many relationships before finding the right one. May love love.
- Having strong beliefs toward love/relationships. Strong beliefs in spirituality or religion.
- Exotic looks. Attracted to exotic looks. Attracted to learning about foreign cultures or religions. Attracted to foreign people, places and travel.
- Partners tend to have something big amount them. Ex: Physically a tall or big person, big families, big social circles, big in business, etc.
- You or partner can have unfair expectations. “It’s okay when i do ___ but you can’t that”. Ex: Spending
- Possible problem: lazy when it comes to anything that is not self serving. Enjoy comfort and luxury.
Accuracy influenced be entire house and sign.
Moon Aspect Asc.
- Very reactive to your environment. Sensitive. Moodiness.
- At an older age, often develop a routine. They become very attached to their routine. Feeling out of control when things don’t go according the plan/routine.
- However, depending on signs and house, may be very adaptable.
- People may see you as gullible/naive. May encounter people who try to take advantage of your perceived innocence. Especially in youth.
- Youthful appearance. Full cheeks. Full lips. Big watery eyes. Expressive features - difficulty hiding the feelings.
- Difficulty being vulnerable. Fear of being seen in a negative way. Deeply affected by outsider opinions.
- Protective of loved ones (siblings, parents, lovers, friends). If harshly aspected, people may feel suffocated.
- You make people comfortable. Big sister energy. Animal lover.
- You look so much like your mom. Your Mom deeply affects how you feel about yourself. Your mom can be controlling. Your mom is a big part of your life or she wishes to be. If negatively aspected, your mom sub consciously wants to live through you.
Accuracy influenced by house and sign.
Mercury Aspect Venus
- Appreciation for literature. May like to collect things like novels.
- Your words put people at ease. You can phrase harsh truths in a pleasant way. If not afflicted, you may dislike arguments and debate. Lying or staying silent to avoid a fight.
- If not afflicted, a nice voice - singing or speaking. Nice handwriting too.
Accuracy influenced by house and sign.
Sun Aspect Pluto
- Psychoanalyzing yourself and others.
- Will experience traumatic situations. High chance of encountering narcissistic personalities (in friends, romance or family)
- People will view them as the villain in their stories. You may identify with villains in stories. Female rage. Questioning whether you are the villain. Feeling gaslit by the lovers, family, etc.
- Gravitate towards dark experiences and people. A conscious effort must be made to avoid the dangers & darker side of life.
- Powerful people. Gain or are born with power/status. This intimidates others. Your presence provokes negative reaction.
Accuracy influenced by house and signs.
#astrology observations#astrology#moon conjunct ascendant#moon sextile ascendant#moon trine ascendant#venus conjunct jupiter#venus square jupiter#venus opposite jupiter#uranus trine mars#uranus conjunct mars#venus conjunct ascendant#venus square ascendant#venus opposite ascendant#mars conjunct ascendant#sun conjunct pluto
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While I really hate the narrative of "tech bros" because of how it conflates shitty CEOs with non-shitty base-level programmers, and how it conflates Dunning-Kruger-y early adopters with people who Know Their Shit about computers...
...On the AI art issue, I will say, there is probably a legit a culture clash between people who primarily specialize in programming and people who primarily specialize in art.
Because, like, while in the experience of modern working illustrators a free commons has ended up representing a Hobbseyan experience of "a war of all against all" that's a constant threat to making a living, in software from what I can tell it's kinda been the reverse.
IE, freedom of access to shared code/information has kinda been seen as A Vital Thing wrt people's abilities to do their job at a core level. So, naturally, there's going to be some very different reactions to the morality of scraped data online.
And, it's probably the same reason that a lot of the creative commons movement came from the free software movement.
And while I agree a lot with the core principles of these movements, it's also probably unfortunately why they so often come off as tone-deaf and haven't really made that proper breakthrough wrt fighting against copyright bloat.
It also really doesn't help that, in terms of treatment by capital, for most of our lives programmers have been Mother's Special Little Boy whereas artists (especially online independent artists post '08 crash) have been treated as The Ratboy We Keep In The Basement And Throw Scraps To.
So, it make sense the latter would have resentment wrt the former...
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Astro observation (part 2)
✨ For entertainment purposes only, enjoy ✨
✨ MASTERLIST
✨ ASTRO OBS. (PART 1)
🔥 Taurus sun individuals usually eat slowly and savor their food enjoying each bite. They dislike being rushed during meals.
🔥 Sagittarius rising peoples thrive on variety in their excercise routine. They might regularly switch between different types of workouts to keep things interesting.
🔥 Capricorn rising peoples might enjoy dishes like roasted meats , stews and well balanced meals that provide both comfort and nourishment.
🔥 Sagittarius sun - very good in mathematics and calculation.
🔥 Groom conjunct your vertex/ Hera asteroid in draconic synastry can indicate they being your spouse/ you have a soul tie with them.
🔥 I have seen many Libra 12th house peoples often have people pleasing tendencies and have problems with creating healthy boundaries.
🔥 11th House mars people's communication style with friends can be direct and assertive, which can sometimes come across as agressive if not managed carefully.
🔥 Mercury in its debilitated sign ( Pisces) individuals may struggle with tasks that require precision, detailed analysis or strict logic.
🔥 I have seen when someone's 9th lord in their 12th house or vice versa , they often marry people from other states, cultures, and countries .
🔥 Aries moons can be quick to anger but also quick to forgive and forget.
🔥 juno in 7th house of Groom persona chart means your fs is your wish fulfilment, ( dreams come true 👀)
🔥 Virgo placements may excel in stock market.
🔥 Aries placements tend to tackle problems head on with immediate action. They prefer to address issues rather than letting them linger or escalate.
🔥 water placements are obsessed with beaches and coastal environments , where Earth signs with mountains.
🔥 I have also seen this many water placements either love water areas or hate it. There's no in between. I have seen cancer moons/ Pisces rising peoples having thalassophobia.
🔥 in Vedic astrology, Rahu in 7th house / rahu conjunct Venus/ rahu conjunct 7th lord indicates foreign spouse.
🔥 Webb asteroid in natal 11th house is self explanatory 🙃.
🔥 prey Asteroid ( 6157) in 4th house individuals often see their home as refuge where they can shield themselves from outside world. If it's negative side manifests in someone's life then there might be themes of feeling vulnerable or taking advantage within the family and home environment.
🔥 Gemini placements individuals are often misunderstood by peoples.
🔥 cancer moons emotional up and downs can weaken their immune system , making them more vulnerable to infections.
🔥 Scorpio placements likes to feel in control of their surroundings and emotions and they fear situations where they feel powerless.
🔥 Aquarius mars peoples value their independence highly and can be quite stubborn about doing things their way.
🔥 Jupiter in Aquarius people may involved in activism , volunteering or supporting charitable organisations.
🔥water moons , Capricorn placements often prone to depression.
🔥 Venus in Capricorn peoples may fear being vulnerable or getting hurt , which is why they often appear guarded more in relationships.
🔥 Aries mars often have fear of rejection . If they sense any hint of rejection they might quickly pull back or move on to avoid facing their fear.
🔥Pluto in Sagittarius peoples maybe fascinated by esoteric subjects, occult and hidden truths. This interest in the mystical and unknown can lead them to explore astrology, tarot or other metaphysical studies.
🔥 Asteroid Medusa conjunct midheaven in natal chart means this individual's career may dealing with controversial and taboo subjects , leading to transformation and growth. They could work in fields related to psychology, healing, crisis management or any area that requires confronting difficult truths.
🔥 Asteroid Born conjunct juno in synastry suggest a relationship that feels spiritually significant , with a strong sense of being " meant to be" or karmic linked.
🔥 Hera asteroid conjunct sun in synastry means the Hera person might view the sun person as an ideal partner, seeing them as someone can commit to for the long term . This aspect can indicate a relationship that has potential to lead to marriage or a deep , committed relationship.
Thanks for reading 🖤
- piko ✨
#astro community#astro notes#astro observations#astrology#astro placements#composite#composite chart#synastry aspects#synastry#synastry observations#groom persona chart#briede persona chart#synastry overlays#juno persona chart#juno astrology#birth chart#natal chart#vedic astro observations#vedic astro notes#vedic chart#vedic astrology#asteroid#love astrology#astroblr#astrology blogs#astro blog#astro bot#astro boy#numerology#spiritualgrowth
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Legend of the Drider(Pt2)
Male!Drider x Fem!Reader
Kofi Request
Pt 1
summary: the aftermath of mating with the drider of myth
wk: 800+ words
Life with your drider lover was surprisingly… fulfilling,
After successfully being able to carry his clutch of eggs, he was happier than ever with you. Since mating with you, he had been treating you like a princess.
No… a queen.
Although he had already mated with you, the creature was a traditional man, going about the courting process one normally would in his culture.
The first thing he did was find an abandoned cabin. You needed somewhere safe and comfortable to live, especially as the fall started to change into the unforgiving winter. Being high up in the mountains meant it was rough, and he wanted his mate to be warm and happy while carrying his clutch.
The cabin wasn’t anything special, and you’d have to do some renovations before it would be livable. Thankfully your mate had collected many trinkets, coins, and random wallets containing large sums of money. It was a courting present to you, and it all went to repairing the cabin.
Once it was livable, he was determined to keep you under him and warm at all times. He was almost like a cat, trying to lay in your lap and rub his scent on you.
“Heavy…” you whimpered, causing him to slowly skitter back a bit. He lowered himself, sitting on the ground so his torso was level with you on the couch.
“Better?”
You nodded, kissing his cheek.
Sex was a common occurrence, and he had the strange urge to tie you up and stuff you full of more eggs. He knew you were already carrying his clutch, but the scent of your pregnancy hormones made him go wild.
Feeling his fangs press against your neck, you let out a soft mewl. He loved giving you a low dose of his aphrodisiac venom to make you squirm while he pushed his cock into you.
His hands stayed on your belly, rubbing gently while he kissed the bite marks he had left on your neck, lapping up the little pinpricks of blood.
“Such a sweet thing… how I adore you.”
He was soft and sweet with you, always making sure your pregnancy cravings were taken care of and you felt loved. His heart swelled with pride to see you so content and well taken care of, proving that he was a good mate and providing you with everything you needed.
It was easy to take your college classes online, and even though your lover got a bit sulky when you said you eventually wanted to follow your dreams and become a photographer, he did everything in his power to make it happen.
While your babies grew in your belly, your lover began producing tons of spider silk. He confessed that he learned to knit from one of the females, and started making little sweaters for all of your babies.
Some baby driders came out fully independent, which made you sad to think about. You had severe pregnancy hormones and you wanted to mother some baby spiders damn it!
He reassured you that his species required motherly care, and that because he had mated a human, the babies would be more human-like.
The cabin became less like a place to live in and more of a home. Your lover hunted at night, and slept through most of the day. He was such a clingy thing, curling with you and whining if you got up to pee at night. He hated being away from you for even a second… especially as his paternal instincts started kicking in.
Recently he had been aggressive towards any other creature that dared to come near the cabin, and started building a nest out of his silk webs so you’d have somewhere comfortable to give birth.
As your due date drew nearer, he grew more possessive and territorial, making sure to scent and mark you. It wasn’t often that you had any time for yourself, he was inconsolable when you experienced even the slightest pain.
“I don’t want you to be in pain, love. I’m so sorry, I know it’ll hurt to give birth… I wish I could make it all go away.”
He was with you for the whole process, his hand in yours as you gave birth to 3 healthy drider babies. They were small, with the cutest little spider legs and chubby cheeks. Each fussed and cried as they entered the world, already seeking comfort from you, their mother.
From that moment on, everything seemed to click into place. Your little ones nursed as you teared up a bit. You had brought these little ones into the world, and your lover couldn’t be more happy with it.
“Do you think I’ll be a good mother?”
Your question was met with a chuckle. Your love leaned down to nuzzle against you, his eyes half lidded with contentment.
“I don’t think so, I know you will.”
——————
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