#i hate being closeted
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i just want this to be over already
#i HATE being closeted#i hate it i hate it i hate it#but what the FUCK am i supposed to do about it?#come out and utterly destroy my own life?#thats just fucking stupid#i KNOW im better off closeted#i know im safer this way#i know the risks if i come out or am outed#i know the possibility of it ruining my entire life#but i also DESPISE being closeted#i despise lying and i despise keeping secrets and i despise feeling like no one really knows who i am#why cant things just be easssyyyy and make seeeeennnnnsseee#threee pigeons in a trench coat
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I guess my nephew is trans so me my sibling isn't such a quirk as I thought.
#I hope things get better for them though#I wish I could talk to them and make them feel less alone#hmm...#I hate being closeted#life#lev.txt
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I'm so tired
#I hate being closeted#I want to be my true self#can't wait to go back to college so I can be out and proud#so I can go to queer events and have queer friends and be queer#I'm so tired of having to walk on eggshells around my queerphobic dad#sorry guys I needed to get that out of my system
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well that’s one way to come out i guess
#can u tell i hate drawing tattoos#lmfaooooo#stan getting slammed by his past now that he’s going places instead of being in the same middle-of-nowhere town for 30 more years#i think he’s certainly unlucky enough to run into exes who want him dead (and out him in the process)#i don’t think stan was ever exactly like… in the closet… he just didn’t feel the need to come out until it was relevant#ford IS in the closet he’s just figuring out a good way to bring it up 💀#he happens to find out stan likes guys and he’s like Ok Well. I Guess Stan Wouldn’t Care so he decides to mention that he’s gay soon after#probably gives stan an It’s Ok to Be Gay speech like …I Would Know#anyway#bisexual stanley pines#u are real to me#🙂↕️#probably dated this guy for a bit then stole his money & ran off or something#not even the gays are safe from getting robbed by stanley pines 💔#gravity falls#stanley pines#stanford pines#gravity falls fanart#my art#rystiart#don’t mind the quality of the drawings randomly shifting over the panels idk
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oh they were so fucking
#i mean personally im of the opinion that wilson very softly kissed him#no tongue just for comfort bc he loves him#and house is normally so against doing anything with wilson in public#because wilson is so closeted and house is too (more out of convenience than shame)#and the fact that wilson is willing to risk being so soft and open and romantic with him in a placw where people could see#genuinely undoes house a little#and THEN they fuck nasty later that night on houses couch#house md#hate crimes md#hilson#greg house#james wilson
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This action WILL ruin him for the rest of his life
+ bonus
they make me SICK and ILL and i HATE THEM
#gravity falls#gravity falls fanart#art#digital art#stanford pines#ford pines#fiddleford mcgucket#fiddleford hadron mcgucket#fiddauthor#ford²#this can go two ways#1. fiddleford's love is onesided and hes being rejected#2. they both care and love eachother mutually and if circumstances were different they could be together—#—but since its the fucking 70s and theyre both men and homosexuality is still highly stigmatized + internalized homophobia; they cant#i like 2 bc it hurts more#fiddauthor angst#gravity falls angst#something about it being the 70's and them being two closeted queer men with internalized homophobia#something about how their reputation and position at the school would probably be at stake if they ever decided to be together#something about how ford wouldve also gotten kicked out like stanley did if he got outed/outed himself#i love and hate them sm#stanford pines fanart#fiddleford mcgucket fanart
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ive come to realise that i dont actually hate kubokai, i just hate the way people write them
#sorry i read like two cute in character kubokai fics and im enjoying it now#theyre cute and im a closeted shun kinnie so. obviously i will ship him with my crush from the show.#i just really really REALLY hate the super cliche seme uke dynamic people usually give them#those people have NEVER watched the show.. my boy shun is NOT like that#its sooo stereotypical and they obviously give shun the role of 'the girl' in the relationship which is. um. ew#'shun is so fragile and innocent and uwu and he needs big strong aren around at all times to coddle him'#'and aren has a soft spot for shun and shun only and only shun can stop him from being totally murderous and dumb'#do yall know that one scene from the kissing booth#where elle is like 'NOAH! LOOK AT ME! THIS ISNT YOU! LOOK AT ME' when hes about to beat the shit outta his brother#thats how kubokai gets written usually#'aren pwease nevew fight again🥺pwease? fow me?'#me reading anything kaido says in most fics: HE WOULD NOT FUCKING SAY THAT#sorry#people can write whatever they want its just. so ooc.#canon them is soooo bromance core#im sorry idk why im posting negative shit again when i like JUST said i wasnt going to do this anymore LMAO#not a callout post about anyone on here obvi- actually reading more recent fics from people on here is whats gotten me more into them#saiki k#tdlosk#the disastrous life of saiki k.#kuboyasu aren#kaido shun#kubokai#meows post
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Lucas On The Line // “For instance, the clothes she's been wearing lately have been... unusual. Old and oversize, and not in a good way. They remind me of Will's clothes, how he was always wearing something of Jonathan's, or even Mrs. Byers's.”
#billy hargrove#max mayfield#max wearing billy’s clothes#the same way will does with his brother#with his MOM#i wanna die actually#‘or even mrs byers’s’#nothing but pain#+ words#billy being forced into not only the big brother role but also the parental role#something about max seeing him as a parental figure#their relationship is so complicated and people who hate billy aren’t allowed to speak on it because they simply do not get it#it’s more complicated than just hating or loving one another#something about max finding comfort in billy even though he tried to distance himself emotionally for neil related reasons#i hate it here i hate it here#that sweater and that shirt were most definitely billy’s like there’s no other explanation#max keeping his brown leather jacket in her closet and not wearing it because it still smells like him and she doesn’t want that to go#max realising his cologne is starting to wear off the clothes she is wearing but not wanting to use up his cologne#to make them smell like him again so she just has to have a moment about it#:(
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medic tf2 doodles?!?!?? in this economy!???!?!? (art from yesterday)
most gentle and sweet middle aged german man in the whole entire world smile vs planning to swap all of your organs with a series of interconnected frogs smile
a doodle i did of Medic and Archimedes.... he looks too round in this drawing, not smug and evil enough..... also Mitzi from the RAE appearance :D
i LOVE the voicelines Medic has with Haunted Archimedes, he's not disturbed or even slightly put off by the fact that his zombified dove is 1. talking and 2. has a violent and constant craving for brains. he's just like. being a slightly irritated pet owner about it. he's just like "ugh yes archimedes vants all zhe brains doesn't he. now shut up". also i think this is the most on-model medic drawing i've ever done wtf
#tf2#team fortress 2#tf2 medic#medic tf2#archimedes tf2#mitzi mozzarella#doodles#sketches#sketch#also um. please no thirst comments in the tags. /srs#i feel incredibly uncomfortable with comments like that and i don't want those things being said about my art#and i feel like it might happen here so like. please don't do that thanks 👍#man i love drawing medic. he's actually so fun to draw and i love giving him the most insane expressions ever#he has so many sharp angles it's so fun!!!#i also really like the second opinion voice lines. he's not even frightened. he just has an annoying roommate sewn to his face#aahh this is why i love medic#i have a cold right now so i can't think of any other tags to put on this post........#might post some more barry stuff later. i drew a pretty cursed one yesterday heehoo#i want to post some of my really old tf2 art from like 2018#and maybe some SUPER old tf2 stuff from a decade ago if i can find the notebook i drew it in#back when i used to draw everything with a pen and no guidelines 💀#i'm pretty sure i still have it! it's not something i would throw away at all#it's probably hidden deep in my closet with my other old art stuff#i'd like to share my super old unhinged comics with a bunch of characters from various properties some day#i remember making a comic where all my favourite tf2 and mlp characters teamed up to stop peg from peg + cat from taking over the world#because i really didn't like the show as a kid. i thought peg's voice was annoying and it was a show about math. and i hate math#it's not even a bad show... it's really cute actually..... why did i hate it so much#i was peg + cat's biggest hater. if p+c had a million haters i was one of them. if it had 1 hater that was me. if it had 0 then i grew up#anyway. ignore all those tags i went on a ramble loolll#i forgot this post is about my medic drawings... yeah i really like these drawings and i love drawing medic <3
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secret post-race rendezvous
#they would totalyl making out in a spare closet after their race 100% (rivals my ass)#bsd f1 au#bsd#bsd fanart#bungou stray dogs#dazai osamu#chuuya nakahara#skk#soukoku#my art#i pulled this out of my ass in like 2 hrs sorry for the mistakes but im so TIRED its 5am and i just wanted to draw smth finally#i hate being a uni studnent but at the same time im LIVN G BUT NOT REALLY
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i dpnt want to go hoooome
#i miss drawing but thats it#talkys#at rainforest cafe we had a really nice funny upbeat server#who ended up chatting with us and saying he is 26‚ was FINALLY able to leave home from his home state (not Texas)#to be here (Texas) and he gets to be out of the closet and stuff and its like I feel this could be me too like I Get It. ive been having Fun#being away and chatting with strangers and such#i want to be away...my voice being hurt today had me dreaming about being on T again#bjut also i rly dont know its hard to see a future myself even now that my friend is continuing to help me find it ykwim#like as a kid i never looked forward to any of it. puberty high school driving college career#i thought id get over driving once i Got There but ive been driving and all i can think of is how i wasnt born to drive at all. i hate it#idk how i cld survive away from home if the driving is so difficult. the driving we did today was so stressful. i cld not have maneuvered#it at all. idk. i wanna live away but idk that its feasible and even when it seems more feasible (employment out of town) it doesnt#(the driving. the living. the sustaining self and making sure he eats the maximum 1 meal per day. the Fear. ykwim)
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You know what I will hate?
If someone else has to point out how Buck or Eddie feels. I know that’s a popular trope, but honestly? Fuck that.
Fuck having to tell a queer person who they’re supposed to be with, how they’re supposed to feel. I actually hate that so much. Because why, why is it that after being told we’re supposed to love certain people, and we realize we don’t, we’re told from ALL SIDES who we are supposed to love after we come out. From the people who don’t accept us to the people that do.
I don’t want Tommy telling Buck that hey man you’re in love with Eddie
I want Buck to realize and accept this on his own, it’s HIS choice it’s HIS life he’s finally free so Let Him Have The Control
I don’t want Marisol to tell Eddie he’s not in love with her, he’s in love with Buck. I actually HATE when fans decide the girlfriend has to take upon that role.
I want Eddie to have his own oh moment. I want Eddie to have this soft, happy, light feeling of being free.
I don’t want Christopher a literal chick to tell Buck and Eddie they’re in love.
I want them to discover it together on their own. I want them to talk to Christopher separately and together about it. Don’t involve a child in the love lives of adults.
I do not fucking want Hen (or Karen and Josh) to look at these two and say I called it.
THEY ARE ALSO QUEER!! They KNOW what it’s like to feel the need to keep this part of yourself a secret, to be scared, to be overwhelmed with emotions, to finally feel free.
I want them to be so so unbelievably happy and proud of Buck and Eddie and to not take away from their discovery of themselves. 
I don’t want past girlfriends showing up and saying they knew something was off.
Because you know what? Let’s not make queer characters uncomfortable and guilty for something that wasn’t their fault, something they weren’t even AWARE of, or to feel any pain for a relationship that is very much over.
I don’t think you guys understand how much you seem to demand for us to get buddie as queer, to have Eddie and Buck as queer, and in the same breath want to take what that means away from them
Them realizing they are queer is not something that other characters should have a huge opinion or input on. It should be THEM worried about what others will say and think only to find out they are so loved by those who truly matter.
Coming out as queer is HUGE. It’s not easy, it can be confusing and it’s overwhelming. Let Buck, and if it happens then Eddie as well, go about their own journey their way. Stop forcing other characters, straight or queer, to be in it. It’s not about anyone else but them. It’s not a simple love story of two men that are already out. It’s about realizing hey, this thing I thought I was my entire life? It’s not true.
Let them process that and take it in and explorer what is a completely newworld.
#I swear to god I hate this fandom so much#STOP TAKING AWAY FROM A QUEER CHARACTERS JOURNEY#I see this in EVERY FANDOM#a already canon queer character does not NEED to be all knowing every time#they can be just as clueless and confused (especially when they’re also young)#or they can be just Happy for their friend or family and let them take their time to figure it out like THEY did#as someone who has come out before#and been told by a person that they weren’t surprised#that shit is NOT assuring or comforting it’s terrifying igs j#it’s horrible and it feels like your being#locked away again because How Can Someone Else Know before you figure it out and before you were Ready to share it#it’s really fucking telling how many of you are straight in the closet completely or have#the privilege to have never felt this before#because Buck and Eddie? they don’t have that#911 abc#whatoh back at it again#evan buckley#eddie diaz#buddie
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Part of the closeted besties series probably
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"I'm going with you."
Ran glared at Shinichi, her mouth set in a straight line and daring him to argue.
Of course, because her friend was a stubborn brat, he turned back to argue with her. "Ran, this is for your own protection-"
Before he could even finish his sentance, her leg kicked up and swung towards his neck with deadly precision. He didn't even have the chance to flinch as she stopped her foot from connecting with his throat, only years of intense training making it so the fabric of her laces just grazed the skin on his neck.
Shinichi's face was pale.
Ran continued to glare at him, "How are you supposed to protect me if you can't even dodge my kick?" she asked before she lowered her leg back onto the ground, "Out of the two of us, Shinichi, I'm the one who knows how to defend themselves, so don't tell me leaving me behind is for my own protection."
She was angry at him but underneath that anger was a hurt that was clawing at her chest to get out. She bit her lip and clenched her fists.
"Why... why do you no longer trust me?" she whispered. This wasn't the first time he had told Ran to stay behind. In fact, it was becoming more and more common for him to run off without her, telling her to wait for him as if she was just a hindrance. She didn't know what she had done to make him feel that way.
Shinichi looked stricken and his mouth opened and closed as he tried to answer, but no words left his throat.
"Am I really that unreliable?" Ran continued, all the self-doubt that had been plaguing her since this behaviour of his had started bubbling to the surface, "Do I really just get in your way."
"No!" Shinichi shouted, "It's not-Ran, I-" he was still struggling to form the words, to explain himself. "I just... I don't want you to get hurt," he finally admitted in a small voice, "You're my best friend, Ran, and I could never forgive myself if you got hurt because you helped me chase criminals."
Ran's anger flared up again, "And you don't think I feel the same way?!" she snapped, "You think I want my best friend to confront dangerous people alone?! That I wouldn't hate myself if I wasn't there to protect you?!"
It made her sick at the sight of Shinichi looking so startled, so goddamn confused that someone actually cared about his safety. Tears began to gather in her eyes.
"I love you, Shinichi, you're my best friend," she whispered, "Please, let me protect you too."
It wasn't often Shinichi cried. He often saved his tears for when his emotions were too overwhelming for him and right now they were gathering at the corners of his eyes. He was still too prideful to let them fall, especially in public, so Ran wrapped her arms around his shoulders and pulled his head down to her own, so he could blink them away into her jacket.
"I'm sorry, Ran," he whispered and she tightened her grip on him.
"You better be," she said, "No more of that protect me nonsense, we protect each other, you hear me?"
Shinichi nodded against her neck and Ran continued to hold him as relief and happiness swelled inside her knowing she had gotten her friend back.
#dcmk#detective conan#ran mouri#shinichi kudo#this is not a ship thing#as the beginning says this is part of my closeted besties series#and friends can say I love you to one another#I just needed to write both Ran fighting with Shinichi about being left behind and Shinichi being emotional#something gosho himself hates for his characters#foxy's writing
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shakes hands in a fit of rage
curtwen....
those bastards....
#spies are forever#tin can bros#tin can brothers#owen carvour#agent curt mega#curtwen#im being normal today#today is so normal#i was with 2 of my friends who have seen saf and one who hasnt#so it was a lot of “oh yeah owen carvour is your husband”#bcs of that stupid dream i had#i told my mom about it and she asked if owen was a guy i went to school with#if i did go to school with owen i'd hate him#he'd be this little closeted bitch who's annoying and british#i pointed to my toringo art on my wall and fell on the floor and one of them said “that's so owen of you”#i hate them sometimes
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Favorite Season 10 running gags:
- Juandissimo delighted by physical contact every time Wanda hits him.
- Chloe's swears getting censored.
- Chloe's middle names change every time someone says them. One of them is Mother Goose and another is Sea Biscuit.
- Chloe calling Timmy to tell him everything's gone wrong, to which Timmy laughs and hangs up on her (or alternatively slams a door on her).
- Chloe and Timmy's Dad start out fond of each other and morph into just... hating each other. I've always headcanoned her as Dinkleberg's niece, so I think that's funny.
- In fact, Timmy hates Chloe's parents and Chloe hates Timmy's parents.
- Chloe got fawned over by many people (including Crocker) in the first half of Season 10, but when Crocker fawns over his nephew, Chloe goes bananas. She only hates the favoritism when it stops happening to her and we love her for it, sdklfsj...
- Kevin spends one episode pretending to be a puppet. In two others, people think he died. He only has 4 episodes. Impeccable.
- Crocker screaming in fury about his mother's love life. He has to watch his best friend (Dark Laser) flirt with her.
- Chloe breaking into buildings. Usually people's houses, but also exclusive clubs.
- Chloe starts out as a goody two-shoes, but her final scene of the series is nailing Crocker's bed to the ceiling.
#“A big thanks to Stuart who let me salt [my food] with his tears” - Okay Chloe. She calls another pal “Kid with issues.”#Why does Chloe just ?? line jump in front of the elderly in “Knit Wits?” Why did she do that#Love how Cosmo doesn't punch Juandissimo in “Knitwits” and instead gets someone else to do it. Man hates confrontation...#Why ?? is Chloe a vegetarian but she has a man-eating plant in her closet? Why does she even have that??#FAIRIES!#Rebellious golden child#Big Crock#Little Crock#Perfect pink beaver boy#Listen I am inherently annoyed by Juandissimo's Season 9 & 10 portrayals being extremely out of character but-#it's still funny that he likes when Wanda hits him#Dragonfly parents#Jonathan Magnificent#Thaddeus and Dominika
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saw someone being wrong about kon on the internet again (i know. shocking) and you are all so lucky i'm sick and feverish and lazy because i DID just seriously entertain the thought of writing up a small essay complete with issue and panel citations about why it's simply incorrect to say that kon never really seemed to reciprocate any sort of crush on tim before geoff/tt03. this is just not true. you dont have to actually ship them but to downplay their importance to each other even in the earliest days is simply incorrect. i'm too tired and achy to bother digging through comics to pull up all the issues that have the bits i want to point at but like... they were both very mutually important to each other from early on. it was in no way shape or form one-sided, whether you want to read that as platonic or romantic. man.
#rimi talks#id rather put my limited energy towards the tender t4t timkonisms fic but in my heart this is a longass post#kon's sb94 alice in wonderland nightmare sequence. kon's entire Everything @ tim in issue 85.#the entire concept of robin kon?????? hello?????#the way they function as a unit so easily in yj98 even While actively bickering???#graduation day and judd winick explicitly saying he wanted them to come out of the closet [together]??#kon going out of his way to not only do bits just to annoy tim but also being protective of him at the same time?? (in yj98 again)#him wanting robin's number in wf3 (and then getting it sometime before rex leech roller coaster issue)??????#what are you fucking onnnnnnnnn#you dont have to read it as romantic if you dont want to but they were undeniably close and it was undeniably mutual. bro#i just um. i just think that if youre so internet poisoned to hate a ship that you have to deny the characters have mutual importance#to each other in the canon material (but you can't deny it from one side so you have to claim it's mostly one-sided and blame a writer)#then maybe you should um log off and reread canon ?#<- that's petty sorry but im just saying.#anyways.#returning to the timkon mines now. crawls back into my word doc
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