#something about how their reputation and position at the school would probably be at stake if they ever decided to be together

[holycrimin]

This action WILL ruin him for the rest of his life

+ bonus

they make me SICK and ILL and i HATE THEM

[sebastianstangirl01]

I’m not going anywhere

Title: I’m not going anywhere

Pairing: Chris Evans x Daughter!Reader and Sebastian Stan x Niece!Reader

Warnings: Teen pregnancy, talks of abortion, scared reader, jerk boyfriend, supportive dad Chris.

Summary: Reader finds herself to be pregnant.

Authors Note: I hope you guys liked my first Chris Evans Daughter writing. Please message me any requests you have, it would make writing so much easier!! In my pinned post is everyone that I write for and things I don’t write for!! I hope you guys like this next writing!!

Reader is 16

Y/N = Your Name

Pregnant

That was all that was going through Y/N’s head as she sat in her bathroom, against the bathtub holding 4 clear blue pregnancy tests in her hands.

The word “Pregnant” displayed across every screen.

How could she let this happen, how did this happen? They were safe, always used a condom and Y/N is on birth control anyway for her period but as a plus it protects her from pregnancy.

Or at least it was suppose to.

She couldn’t imagine her dads reaction. Being a famous actor was hard enough, but when the news broke that Chris Evans 16 year old daughter was knocked up. It could ruin his career, and Y/N didn’t want that she knew how hard Chris has worked to get to the point he is today.

They had been living in a apartment in New York for 2 months because of Chris filming a new movie, and as always that meant that Y/N was pulled out of school and away from her friends and boyfriend.

Y/N and Blake had been dating for a little over a year and had been sexually active, not thinking anything would ever happen because of the precautions that they took.

Blake.

How was she going to tell him? Sure they have been together for a while but they were only kids, Blake is 17 and Y/N is 16. Surly he won’t walk out on her, he loves her.

Y/N sighed before picking up her phone, she decided to go on and call Blake who was back home in Los Angeles.

“Hey babe.” Blake answered

“Hey, could we maybe FaceTime. I have something to tell you and it kinda needs to be face to face and I guess with us being on opposite sides of the country right now FaceTime is as close we can get.” Y/N said fiddling with a string on her sweater

“Yeah sure. Hold on.” Blake said hanging up making Y/N sigh

A few second later Blake’s name popped up on her screen, taking a deep breath Y/N accepted the call and gave him a smile as his face popped up onto the screen.

“Hey, what’s going on?” Blake asked with a concerned look on his face

“I-I uh, I don’t know how to tell you this so I’m just going to say it. I’m pregnant.” Y/N said making Blake’s face drop

“What? Your fucking pregnant?!” Blake exclaimed

“Yeah, I took 4 tests and they all came back positive.” Y/N said

“Get rid of it!” Blake exclaimed making Y/N look at him with wide eyes

“What?” Y/N asked

“I said get rid of it. We can’t have a baby, I don’t want a stupid baby! Do you know how much my reputation will be ruined? No way, either get rid of it or we’re done.” Blake shook his head as Y/N eyes filled with tears

“Done? What? I knew that obviously you wouldn’t be happy and I’m not exactly happy about this either. Your reputation isn’t the only one at stake her, my dad is literally famous if word gets out about this his career could be ruined.” Y/N said

“Exactly, so get rid of it. It will save everyone a headache.” Blake said

“You know I’m against all that stuff, I don’t believe in abortion and I’m not getting rid of it.” Y/N said, she had seen everything that happened during an abortion before in health class and she refused to put herself and the baby through all that.

“Fine, but I want no part in any of this. We’re done.” Blake said hanging up

Y/N just stared blankly at the phone, she couldn’t believe that Blake had said what he did and that now they were over.

How was she going to raise a baby alone? Her dad would hate her, he’d probably kick her out for being such a disappointment.

The only thing she could do was leave before he kicked her out. Y/N got up off the floor and washed her face with some cold water, her eyes were red and swollen from all the crying she had done the past few hours. She went into her temporary room and pulled out her big travel suitcase, she quickly grabbed as many of her clothes as she could. Not sure when her dad would be home, she decided to take as much as she could now and figure the rest out later.

She finished packing her stuff and sat it on the ground, she looked at the nightstand and smiled sadly. There was the picture she takes everywhere, it was Chris holding Y/N when she was a baby. He looked so young but you could practically feel the happiness beaming off him, his smile shines through the frame.

Leaving her dad is the hardest thing she’s ever going to have to do, but she knows that it will be for the best.

She grabbed the picture and stuck it in her suitcase then grabbed a piece of paper and decided to just leave Chris a note, offering a little bit of an explanation so he wouldn’t think that she was kidnapped or something.

Dear Dad,

I’m sorry I’m leaving but I can’t disappoint you. I love you so much and you have been the best dad in the world. Please don’t look for me, it’s for the best that I go.

Love, Y/N

Wiping a tear that escaped the corner of her eye, Y/N grabbed her suitcase and walked out of the apartment.

⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⊰⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅∙∘☽༓☾∘∙•⋅⋅⋅•⋅⋅⊰⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅

Sebastian was sitting on his couch clicking through the channels and sipping on a beer when there was a knock on his door. He got up and answered it but paused when he saw Y/N standing outside with a big suitcase and red eyes.

“Hey, what’s wrong? What are you doing here sweetheart? Come in.” Sebastian said gently grabbing Y/N and pulling her into his apartment.

“I messed up, I needed a place to stay and you were the first person I thought of.” Y/N said not making eye contact as she played with her fingers which Sebastian noticed

Sebastian has known Y/N since 2011 when he and Chris had filmed Captain America: The First Avenger. He quickly took Y/N under his wing as a friendship formed between him and Chris leading to Sebastian becoming Y/N’s Uncle Seb.

“Sit down, tell me what’s going on.” Sebastian said leading Y/N over to the couch

“I can’t, you’ll hate me too.” Y/N shook her head as her eyes filled with tears, not catching Sebastian’s confused face

“Hate you? Sweets I could never hate you, never in a million years!” Sebastian said pulling Y/N into his arms. “Is that why you ran? Did you think that your dad would hate you for whatever it is? Because that’s ridiculous, you are the most important thing in your dads life. You are his everything and nothing could ever make him hate you.”

“You don’t know that. It’s bad Uncle Seb.” Y/N shook her head

“Try me.” Sebastian said making Y/N sigh

“I’m pregnant.” Y/N said looking down

Sebastian’s eyes widened and he took a deep breath trying not to show how he really felt. Him being mad wasn’t going to help anything, and it wasn’t that he was really mad it was just that he wished she didn’t have to go through something like this at such a young age.

“Ok, here’s what’s going to happen. Your going to go upstairs to your room here and sleep, you look exhausted. In the morning we’ll talk and figure this out, if you still really think leaving is the best then you can come live with me. But you will not be on the streets alone. I won’t let you go through this alone.” Sebastian said and Y/N nodded

“Thanks. I’m sorry.” Y/N said

“We’ll talk in the morning. Go on.” Sebastian said before pulling her into his side and kissing her forehead before ushering her towards the stairs

A few minutes later there was a frantic knock on the door, Sebastian sighed feeling like he knew who was behind the door. He got up off the couch and opened the door to find a frantic Chris, his eyes were all red his hair disheveled and he seemed out of breath.

“She’s gone, I need your help. Y/N’s gone, I came home from filming and she was gone. Her room was basically empty and she left me a note saying that she needed to leave because she couldn’t disappoint me and that it was for the best. What does that even mean, how could she ever think I would be disappointed by her. She’s my babygirl and I love her more than anything, I need to find her Seb. She must be so scared out there on the streets of New York all alone.” Chris rambled as he pushed past Sebastian into his apartment and paced

“Chris! Dude calm down. She’s here.” Sebastian said grabbing his friends arm

“What? She’s here?” Chris asked with wide eyes

“She is, come sit down before you walk a hole through my floor. I don’t think Ms. Edna would appreciate that.” Sebastian said, thinking about his neighbor who would constantly beat on her ceiling with a broom when Sebastian was “too loud”.

“How long has she been here? Where is she?” Chris asked looking around

“She got here around 30 minutes ago, she’s asleep in her room. She was really upset.” Sebastian said

“What happened?” Chris asked confused to what would make his daughter so upset that she felt like she had to leave

“I think it’s best that she tells you, go upstairs and see her. Your welcome to stay the night, I’m going to hit the hay.” Sebastian said standing up

“Thanks for being there for her Seb. She loves you a lot.” Chris said

“I love her too, night.” Sebastian said

“Night man.” Chris nodded watching as Sebastian walked down the hall to his room

Chris sighed and rubbed his face, when he came home to an empty apartment he was confused. Dodger was staying with Scott since the apartment building was a no pets zone, so Y/N was all he had. And when he couldn’t find her anywhere and found that note, he felt like his whole life shatter before his eyes.

Y/N is truly the best thing to ever happen to him and life without her is something he doesn’t even want to consider.

Chris decided to go on up and see her so he could figure out what was wrong and find a way to help her. Chris walked up the stairs and to Y/N’s room that she claimed when she was 8. He opened the door to see Y/N curled up asleep on the bed with tear marks down her cheeks making him sigh.

Chris closed the door behind him and slipped off his shoes quietly making his way over to the side of the bed, he sat down behind her and rubbed her back. Y/N’s eyes fluttered open and she locked eyes with her fathers.

“Dad? How’d you find me?” Y/N asked quietly

“I know you. I knew you would go somewhere you feel safe.” Chris said

“You shouldn’t be here, I left to protect you.” Y/N said

“Last I checked I’m the dad, I’m suppose to protect you. Not the other way around.” Chris said wiping her cheek

“We protect each other.” Y/N said

“We do. And in order to do my job I need to know what’s going on. Why’d you run bug?” Chris asked pulling her to sit up

“I don’t want you to hate me.” Y/N whimpered

“I could never hate you, ever. You are my daughter and I love you more than anything in this world. There is nothing that could ever happen that would make me think of hating you.” Chris said grabbing her face gently and making her look into his eyes. “What’s going on?”

“I’m pregnant. I’m so sorry daddy. I’m so so sorry.” Y/N cried and Chris pulled her into his arms rocking her back and forth like he use to do when she was a baby.

“It’s ok, it’s ok bug. I’m here, I’m not going anywhere. We’ll get through this together I promise.” Chris said kissing her forehead.

No matter how shocked he was about this news Chris knew that getting mad wouldn’t help anything. All he could do was be there for her and help her raise this baby if that’s what she chose to do.

No matter what, Chris will always be there for his daughter.

⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⊰⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅∙∘☽༓☾∘∙•⋅⋅⋅•⋅⋅⊰⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅

[spinster-sisters]

Arrangement. psh

TW: Oral, fingering, corruption, unprotected sex, public sex, reader is kinda selfish but in the oblivious way not the malicious way, seonghwa is seonghwa. Honestly I was going for something kinda specific here and i dont think i succeded, its not bad or anything just not what i was going for but i dont think yall will be able to tell hopefully.

The first thing i write in probably well over 2 weeks and its something that nobody but @deja-vux wanted. what can i say? this idea gave me brain rot.

One last thing, this is kind of a part 2 to the corruption kink blurby thing I wrote for Seonghwa (can be found in my master list) but it’s not a direct continuation or anything and you don’t have to read that to get this.

-

Your jaw ached in strain as you held your mouth open, trying to keep your throat relaxed. Seonghwa’s grip was tight in your hair as he thrust his dick shallowly past your lips. The position was altogether uncomfortable. Seonghwa laid across the back seat of his vintage car, back propped up against the door with one knee raised. You were knelt between his thighs, bent over in a painful arch trying to keep still in the tight space. But all of that was inconsequential, the breathy groans and crooked smirk of the man in front of you were enough to drown out the pain.

As his hips pushed into your mouth again, dick sliding further down your throat than before, in a desperate attempt to please the man you did your best to swallow around the long length of his cock although tears pricked in your eyes. His grip on your hair tightened and you looked up just in time to see his head thump back against the glass window followed by another low groan and a face screwed up in pleasure, his normally perfectly styled black hair now tousled and falling into his eyes. Deep satisfaction ran through you.

To your surprise, the hand in your hair yanked you back and off him. You whined at the roughness, despite the way it sent shocks down to your core. Seonghwa’s eyes cracked open to peer down at you with a grin.

“You're getting good at this, princess.” He compliments in his velvet voice. His words elated you and a smile crept onto your lips.

“You’ve come so far in so little time, you could barely take me in your mouth without gagging a month ago, now look at you. You should be proud.” Seonghwa continued, running his hand through your hair once before regaining his grip on it. You practically purred. While you looked back on those first few times with Seonghwa fondly, you much preferred his smooth praises to the harsh words and instructions he gave you before. But you were still glad for them, there was no way you would have come this far this quickly if he hadn’t been hard on you.

Seonghwa’s hand was pulling you back down again before you could voice anything, “come on princess, show me how much you’ve learned.”

Back to work you went. He gave you a tad bit more freedom this time around, not making any move to thrust into your mouth, instead, allowing you to show your newfound mastery of dick sucking. But you kept his preferences in mind, he always wanted to draw things out, to take his time with you. So you began by kissing gently along the red tip, then lapping at the precum that spilled from it. The taste was definitely an acquired one, your face had screwed up in disgust the first time I touched your tongue, but now you sought it out as it meant you were doing well.

Taking the tip completely in your mouth, you hummed as you swirled your tongue around it for a moment before popping off and caressing the underside with a flick of the tongue. Seonghwa hummed in approval, nudging your head forward again in gentle encouragement. You took him into your mouth again, this time hollowing your cheeks and bobbing your head in a firm rhythm. You kept your tongue pressed into the underside of his dick, running along the most prominent vein. Each time you took more and more of his impressive length into your mouth, moaning in satisfaction as you went.

You couldn’t help the way your legs pressed together as more wetness pooled in your underwear. Your mind flashed with the first time Seonghwa had taken you completely. Your body had shuddered as he eased his cock between your legs and into your cunt. It had been uncomfortable sure, and the sensation had been unfamiliar, but Seonghwa had taken care to prepare you enough before ruining you in that way. Your first time had been exceptional needless to say.

You were drawn back to the present by the low growl rumbling out of Seonghwa’s chest as his dick hit the back of your throat, all of him save for the part you had your hand wrapped around for support was now gracefully sliding past your lips. You ventured another look up to his face. He was watching you intently with fire behind his dark eyes. You looked up at him with wide eyes, barely able to meet his strong gaze. His elbow rested on his bent knee and his head was leaning against his hand. If it weren’t for the low sounds he released from time to time you would never be able to tell what you were up to between his legs from his face.

The sudden desire to break his composure overtook you, to make him feel as desperate as the ache between your legs. So as you removed your hand to take his length all the way down into your throat your hips began rocking back and forth, rutting into nothing as your legs pressed tightly together.

“Keeping going like that, and I’ll cum down your throat.” His voice rumbled.

You doubted that. Another thing you had learned about him was that he was unbelievably composed. The kind of restraint that came from much experience. He wouldn’t cum unless he wanted to, his words were only to encourage you. But regardless you took them with glee. Seonghwa had long since discovered that nothing encouraged you more than the thought of his cum, the very reward for your efforts.

Despite his promise, it was several more minutes before he spilled into your mouth, having finally decided that you had sufficiently proven your knowledge. His head had fallen back against the window and he let out a trail of deep groans as he spilled against your tongue. You swallowed it appreciatively, beaming up at him from between his legs, awaiting the praise for your efforts.

When he looked at you again it was with a crooked smile and a gentle hand stroking your hair.

“Well done princess,” he spoke far too casually for having just cum down your throat. His free hand took your hip between his fingers and hoisted you up to straddle his lap. He adjusted to sit normally in the seat and he took a moment to size you up. His gaze burned as his eyes trailed over your body and your legs tried to squeeze together again as another bout of wetness spilled out of you, but Seonghwa’s hips kept them apart. He noticed the attempt, however.

With a smirk, Seonghwa slid his hand into the waistband of your shorts and into your panties. You sucked in air only to release it with a whine as his cold fingers slipped between your folds, releasing the slick into his palm. He chuckled at you.

“Oh what have I done to you,” he started with mock remorse, a small pout painting his features, “only a true slut could get his wet from sucking dick, I suppose I have truly ruined you,” he finished with a wild smirk. Your hips ground into his palm subconsciously.

“Mmmhmmm” you sighed in agreement, absolutely loving when he spoke to you like that, only Seonghwa’s words could ever affect you like that. If anyone else said them it would sound vile.

“Yours,” you added with a hoarse voice, rocking your hips into his still hand again.

“Mine?” He asked, pretending to be confused, tilling his head to the side as if asking for clarification. Though the next words to leave your lips were no surprise to him, as he had taught you them.

“Your slut.”

-

It was getting harder to avoid Seonghwa at school. Not because either of your schedules changed, not because he stopped ditching as much as he did. In fact, those things hadn’t happened at all, it just seemed like they had. It seemed like everywhere you went you saw him. Either sauntering his way through the hallways, gathered with his like-minded friends in the courtyard, or even sitting in the far back of the single class you shared flipping his pen between two fingers as he stared absently out the window.

Once upon a time, before you had seen him as anything more than trouble making pretty boy, it had confused you how he had even managed to be in the same advanced literature class as you and it hard infuriated you when you discovered that Park Seonghwa had the audacity to be smart. Your one-track mind had seen it as a waste for him to have even a shred of intelligence behind his starry eyes when it was clear school was the last thing ever on his mind. But at the time you had pushed the thought aside, thinking that as long as you still stood at the top of the class it didn’t matter.

But when you found it most difficult to avoid Park Seonghwa was when he was leaned against the locker of some pretty face showing that crooked half-smirk that you had become so familiar with. And it caused quite a few unnamed emotions to stir in your stomach each time. Each time you shoved those emotions away before they had the chance to manifest. You had no right to feel them. It was your reputation at stake if the student body discovered that you were Park Seonghwa’s latest pass time, not his. In fact, it would probably gain him a feather in his cap from his crowd if they knew. You and Seonghwa had never discussed the exclusivity of your arrangement, you hardly had the clarity of mind to do so at any moment his gaze was focused on you, so you could never be sure if his velvet words had led him between the legs of any of the pretty faces you saw him with. And you didn’t allow yourself to dwell on it, even though very deeply wanted to know. Once again, you pushed the thoughts from your mind, as long as you still to be with him the most, it didn’t matter what those other people did with him.

But as the school slowly emptied at the end of the day, and you were making your way to the student council room once again (trying your hardest to not remember when he had taken you against a table in there as well) you found Seonghwa loitering in the hallway with a girl leaned against his chest inches away from his face.

You came to a dead stop. The gears of your brain are either unable or unwilling to comprehend what you saw. Why this particular time bothered you so much was a question you could not answer, it was not the first time, nor would it be the last. Normally you would simply turn your head and keep walking as though you had seen nothing, and you had almost convinced yourself to do exactly that when the girl noticed your presence.

“Do you need something?” She spat, clearly from the crowd that thought the student council was all prissy know it all’s, and you had to remind yourself that until very recently that is exactly what you were. But you were also stubborn. You composed yourself quickly and kept your eyes on the girl.

“Unless you have somewhere to be, I suggest you move your groping elsewhere. Somewhere off school grounds preferably.” You called in an even tone, thankfully your voice had not betrayed the way your stomach was churning.

“Come on, don’t be such a prude,” the nameless girl countered. Her choice of words temped you to glance at Seonghwa, but you had a feeling he would be looking at you, which you don’t know if you could handle.

“Trust me, the rest of the student body would be just as grossed out as I am, whatever is going on here is not as ‘hot as you think it is,” you added air quotes around the word for good measure. The girl smirked at you.

“I don’t know, I think they would be lucked to see such a sexy couple.” She retorted, her arms curling around Seonghwas middle. At the word “couple” you couldn’t help it, your eyes flashed to Seonghwa. He had the audacity to look amused as if the back and forth was the best entertainment he had seen all week.

You didn’t like that she used that word. You had absolutely no desire to be in a relationship with Seonghwa, quite the opposite, in fact, it would ruin you. But your mind flashed with the one word you heard him use perhaps most often, “mine.” Granted, you had never called him ‘yours,’ but the experiences he gave you seemed somehow cheapened if he was giving everyone else the same ones. You felt spiteful, what was the point in teaching you all those wonderful things if he could get them elsewhere. Those were the thoughts that spurred on your words.

“I’ll let them know when I find one then.” You deadpanned. It took her a moment to realize what you meant, then her mouth hung open. She looked ready to retort before Seonghwa cut her off.

“Why don’t you go home, leave this conversation to the big kids.” He said, looking at her for the first time since the conversation started. Once again, it took her a moment to realize it was her he was talking to, and then she gapped like a fish. Seonghwa had turned his eyes back to you, not bothering to entertain her shock. Finally, with a huff she stormed off, leaving you and Seonghwa alone in the hallway, locked in a stare-off.

“Kinda slow isn’t she? You can do better than that.” You grumble, crossing your arms over your chest.

“Oh I know I can,” he replied without missing a beat, but the less than subtle once over and the knowing smile he gave you only served to tick you off, rather than flatter you.

“Then why waste your time with her?” As soon as the words came out of your mouth you regretted them. They sounded far too much like jealousy for your taste, and based on the look in his eyes; an invitation as well. Seonghwa’s lean body pushed from the wall and took several long strides towards you, till he stood over you. His hand came to rest all too familiarly on your hip.

“Why? Have something better I can do with my time?” He said, not at all trying to hide his suggestive undertone. You scoffed, in an attempt to keep the burn of his stare away from your mind.

“Your disgusting,” you said, though it came out far less convincing than it sounded in your head. You took a step back from the all-to-magnetic boy. If someone came across you two now, you needed as much distance between him and you as possible.

“Are you going to report me? Madam President?” He replied in a moc disappointed tone.

“As if I adding today onto your record would change a thing. We have a filling cabinet for just you and your friends, Seonghwa. I don’t want to overflow it.” You threw back.

“I didn’t know the student council was such fans of my work.” He replied casually without missing a beat. You opened your mouth to retort but he cut you off.

“Come find me tomorrow night if you're still looking to help me waste time, princess,” he began, turning to grab his bag from the floor, “I think you have a council meeting to get from, wouldn’t want to get in your way of upholding the high standards of the school.” As he spoke he began walking away, only to throw a smirk over his shoulder at his last four words. Leaving you alone in the hallway.

-

You did not find him the next day. You had decided you were upset with him, not because of the girl, you told yourself, but because of the patronizing way he spoke to you. Not that that was different from normal. It just seemed to be the best way to allow yourself to be mad at him without those unwanted feelings worming their way into your brain.

Whether Seonghwa had even noticed your boycott was impossible to tell. He would never come to you, he wanted you to come to him. He never seemed even the slightest bit bothered in the few times you had glanced at him from the corner of your eye. He laughed with his friends without a care in the world and his blank face during class held no emotion besides boredom. You on the other hand, now that was a different story. You had become used to meeting up with him once or even twice a week in various places around town for your “lessons” and you had become “insatiable.” (his word not yours)

Your resolve to be mad at him was cracking as the days went on and was replaced with the need for him. Him and only him. No one else would do.

But in an effort to keep your resolve you threw yourself in the opposite direction, instead, making plans with the Vice President of the student council, a lovely girl named Marie.

Marie was your friend. She chose to use the words “gal pals” from time to time. An airy upbeat girl who rarely let her soft smile fall from her face. And right now, the furthest possible thing from spending time with Park Seonghwa.

So on Wednesday, both you and Marie piled into her silver car and drove off to her house. You both stumbled into her orderly bedroom with a fit of quiet giggles at the expense of several other council members. You shrugged your bag off your shoulders and plopped down onto the plush carpet beside her bed as she did the same.

“Oh my gosh, I feel like I haven’t seen you in forever! Outside of council meetings obviously, I mean, I was starting to think you had found a different best friend and I was-“ Marie started rambling almost as soon as she sat down. You couldn’t help the small smile that found your lips. It’s true you had been neglecting her as your friend for the past month or so, instead of spending time with, well, him. But now that sat in her familiar room, seeing the pictures of the events you had planned together scattered on the walls, the sudden realization that you had indeed missed her was shocking.

“Sorry about that, there was some stuff going on at home, that needed my attention. But now I’m back!” You replied, trying to match her seemingly boundless energy. Her face screwed up in worry at your words.

“Oh no! Is everything ok? Do you want to talk about it?” She asked in her characteristic wide eyes. You shook your head.

“It’s not serious I promise. My parents were just redoing the garden and my mother insisted I be home every day to help planting and stuff.” You continued with the lie you had prepared. It was the same thing you had been telling everyone when they asked about your general absence.

She looked content with your answer, smiling and pulling her binder from her bag.

“So, the basketball game this Friday, I know we have the event mostly planned out but I think that we still need to-“ she started again, going right into her work. And you held up a hand to slow her.

“Woah hold on,” you started with a smile, “we have been planning this game for 2 weeks I think we can take a break tonight. You know? Just hang out a little?” You asked. She looked at you surprised.

“Since when have you ever wanted to take a break?” She asked with a curious glance but it broke into a smile, “come on, it’s the first game of the season and the coach asked us specifically to make sure that the whole school showed up and it runs smoothly. Besides if I do a good job I might just beat you out for president next year.” She said the last part with a low voice and a wiggle of the eyebrows.

But that wasn’t the part of her outburst that surprised you. She was right, when have you ever been the one to want to take a break? Surely you have been indulging yourself too much lately. You recovered your momentary lapse.

“Oh you wish,” you replied with a coy smirk that broke you both down into giggles once again.

The rest of your night was flung into a casual discussion with homework and planning galore.

-

Perhaps there are better places, and there are definitely better times. But since it came down to either the locker room showers or the back of Seonghwa car, at least the showers had more room.

Outside the door, the basketball game was raging on and I likely would be for the next hour. You could hear the school cheering along with the game, and the surprisingly loud squeaks of the player's shoes on the gym floor. Nobody would be coming in here till the game was over, you had until then.

You had been leaning against the sink when Seonghwa walked in. One look at him was all it took for you to be willing to break your streak, it’s hard to be mad at someone when you can’t glance at them without your mind flashing with every dirty thing they have done to you. So the moment he crossed over to you, you flung yourself at him. Your arms instinctively wrapped around his neck when your lips meet his. You could feel him smirking on your lips, but at the moment you couldn’t care less.

Seonghwa’s hands fell to your hips and to your utter dismay he used his grip to gently push your body away from him. A whine pulled from your lips as you looked up at him with pleading eyes. He looked amused.

“Hold on there princess, what’s the rush?” He asked head tiling to the side with a patronizing look. You huff at his words, tightening your arms around his neck you push yourself flush against him again.

“The rush is that I haven’t had time to see you all week and I’m going insane.” You convey in a tone that clearly says ‘shouldn’t this be obvious?’ Seonghwa’s eyebrow raised accusingly.

“Oh, is that what it was? That you didn’t have time?” He asked, though his tone suggested he knew the answer. You could feel yourself blushing, so he had noticed you had been avoiding him. Honestly, you didn’t think he would.

“Because I’m pretty sure I saw you and miss congeniality meeting up every day after school.” You wish now more than ever that you had more experience in the “relationship” field, even if this wasn’t one because you could not for the life of you decipher Seonghwa’s expression. His face was relaxed, showing no sign of anger or disappointment or any other emotion, but his eyes were staring you down with great intensity. But then again, he always seemed to do that.

“Council stuff.” You mumble in reply, trying with all your might to speak as casually as him. At this, Seonghwa gifted you with an expression you understood. Fake surprise.

“Oh, is that what it was?” He began, looking up at the ceiling as though pondering the idea, before looking back to you with that damned crooked smirk. His grip on your waist suddenly tightened. A moment later he had pushed you back against the sink, caging his arms around you.

“Or is it because you were jealous?” He was grinding madly now.

Jealousy. That was that emotion that you had been shoving down all week. How you had not realized it before was a mystery. But to hear it come from his mouth? It made you see red. Suddenly you were far angrier than you had any right to be. Your gaze hardened quickly and you did your best to put space between your bodies, though it was practically impossible with his arms changing you in and head leaning down into your face.

“Do you want to waste time talking, or are you going to fuck me?” You spat. He processed your words for a fraction of a second longer than necessary before he had the audacity to look amused.

“So you were jealous.” He practically giggles, shaking his head and looking down in amusement. The tips of his fluffy black hair brushed your nose and you almost swatted at it. How dare he? You pressed your hands into his shoulders and pushed against him, trying to move him away from you. He allowed you to move him, but not by much, just enough to give you a little room while you fume at him.

If you had the slightest bit of hindsight at this moment, you would have realized your anger was misplaced. You were angry at yourself for feeling that stupid emotion in the first place. But at present, blaming him seemed easiest. And the fact that your anger only served to amuse him made it feel a bit more justified.

“What’s so funny.” You spat, crossing your arms in front of your chest. He peered at you, and your clearly ticked-off demeanor before chuckling. His hands still gripped the porcelain sink behind you and for a brief moment, his hand flexed against the hard surface, holding some unseen emotion in the action.

“You are, princess. For someone so smart I forgot how absolutely clueless you can be about anyone who isn’t yourself.”

You almost stormed out of the room. And you probably would have if it wasn’t for the placement of his arms. But he continued speaking despite your livid expression.

“I was keeping up appearances.” He said in a flat tone. You could now add confusion into the storm of emotions brewing inside you.

“What does that mean?” You said the words with venom but there was a clear tone of lack of understanding in your voice. He, once again, found this amusing.

“Exactly what it sounds like. How would it look for me, if I suddenly started to ignore every advance made on me? Believe it or not sweetheart but I also have a reputation to uphold. Just the same as you. And since your the one who is so adamant that nobody knows about our ‘meetings’ it’s business as usual.”

Realization washed over you like water to a flame, all the rage dissipating just as quickly as it appeared, and your face softened. And then came the guilt. You just basically blew up on the man for doing exactly what you wanted him to, for doing exactly what you were doing by avoiding him. You had never before considered Seonghwa’s reputation in your musings. Your eyes glazed over a bit as you looked down, letting out a quiet “oh.”

You kept your gaze rooted to your shoes, unwilling to look at Seonghwa for fear of what you would see. You jumped when you felt his touch. One hand came to your waist and a gentle caress and the other took hold of your chin more firmly and tilted your head up to his eyes. And to your surprise, a coy smile lay across his features.

“It’s ok princess, your obliviousness was what drew me to you in the first place anyways. You were so caught up in your own little self-centered world you didn’t even notice how badly I wanted you till I had you pressed against the wall. I don’t think this would be as fun if I didn’t have to teach you a thing or two along the way,”

you blushed again at the memory and he slid his thumb against your lower lip. Your mouth parted automatically to wrap your lips around it, lulled into the submissive trace his silken words always put you in. He chuckled at you. “At least now I know you haven’t been messing around with anyone else. You’ve been too busy sulking over me to even notice if any other guys tried to seduce you.”

You hummed around his finger, slightly comforted by the fact he would have been jealous too. His words suggested that he wanted you to himself as much as you felt the same about him.

His thigh was suddenly pressing into your core and the hand on your waist dragged your hips across it. The skirt you wore did nothing to shield your panty-covered cunt from the rough denim of his jeans and your mouth hung open to mewl at him, his thumb still dangling from your lips. He leaned down to whisper in your ear.

“You wouldn’t let any other guys touch you, right princess?” He mumbles though he spoke like he already knew the answer.

You garbled put some kind of agreement as quick as you could. With a smirk, Seonghwa hiked up the fabric of your skirt to expose your damp underwear and lifted you ever so slightly by the waist onto the edge of the sink. There was a sliver of pride in his eyes at the way you spread your legs willing for him, presenting yourself as best you could, just as he had taught you. He pushed the fabric covering your pussy to the side and slide a fringed through the slick that gathered there. And you muffled a whine into his neck as your arms flung over his shoulder.

“I’m gonna have to be quick with you today sweetheart, the game is almost over, but wouldn’t want the whole basketball team to come piling in and see you like this would you.”

You shook your head as best as you could with your face nestled into his collar bones. Your eyes were screwed shut as his fingers continued to glide through your folds, sometimes barely slipping inside you before pulling out. He was working you up with well-practiced hands. He had learned his way around your body much faster than you had learned his, knowing all the ways to make you tick.

“No, this is for my eyes only, right sweetheart?” One of Seonghwa’s slim fingers caught your clit and you gasps, gripping the shirt covering his shoulders. He tutted at you.

“Don’t tell me you've forgotten what all I’ve taught you in just one week. Come on and use your words.” You could feel his words rumbling in his chest for how tight you held him. You were hesitant to pull away, but the edge in his voice urged on. Moving away just enough to let your voice carry.

“Only for you,” you mumble. Despite your quiet tone, you meant the words far more than you anticipated. Seonghwa pushed two long slim fingers inside you at your response, stretching your walls with ease. You gasped at the intrusion and buried your face in his chest again, trying to muffle any noises that may come out of you. There was still a game going on outside after all.

Seonghwa’s fingers arched inside you, brushing against the most sensitive place on your walls and your back arched. You could feel yourself getting louder and louder with every passing moment, but you were still unbearably on edge of being discovered.

“You especially responsive today, maybe leaving you alone for a while has its benefits.” Seonghwa mused into your hair as he worked, pulling even more sounds from you with every movement of his hand. His practiced fingers touched and toyed with you so well, it was impossible to keep quiet.

“No-“ you started in a shaky voice, not wanting to go so long without his touch like this again.

“Only joking sweetheart,” he giggles in your ear. But at that moment he pulled his skilled fingers away from your core and you choked on air. He ran his free hand up your spine in what was meant to be a gentle caress but it sent shivers through your body regardless. Your face stayed hidden against his body, at this point, his body heat seemed to be the only thing grounding you right now.

With your vision obscured there was a brief moment of heated silence where it seemed like nothing was happening, then the distinct sound of a belt clicking open and a zipper being pulled down echoed in the room. You pulled away from his chest and looked up at him with wide star eyes. He was already watching you with a smirk. Your mouth hung open with anticipation. He took in your face with a pleased expression, one hand coming down to cup your chin and tilt your head further up.

“I love it when you look at me like that,”

As soon as the words ended Seonghwa was crashing his lips onto yours and without missing a beat he thrust his length into your cunt in one quick movement. You were suddenly very thankful for the kiss, as it did well to muffle the cry ripping pst your lips. His grip on your hip was like iron as he began to set a pace. Each time pushing if possible even deeper inside you. You forced your legs to spread wider as your hands clawed down his back. Each time he filled you completely your body twitched as he brushed over your most sensitive spot.

Seonghwa still held your chin tightly in his palm, keeping your lips locked in a heated kiss. He seemed to be timing the kiss with his thrusts, which meant it was incredibly fast. He was kissing you as though he wished to devour you whole and at the moment you wanted nothing else but to allow him. Every few minutes the kiss would break as you both panted for air before it resumed with that same fervor.

Quite suddenly it became all too much, you were melting into him. Every stroke of his dick against your pulsing walls felt like fire shooting through your body in the best way, making you twitch uncontrollably. Your body acted of its own accord, hips bucking to meet his with every thrust and your hands grasping wildly against his back, trying to bring him impossibly closer. Several times you tried to break the kiss just to moan but his mouth chased yours and swallows up the sounds before they could escape.

And the kiss was something else entirely. You had kissed the man before but never like this. This felt so raw and unyielding. Every swipe of his tongue against your own felt like an invitation or a promise, for what you did not know. All of a sudden it felt entirely too intimate, too real. The kind of kiss reserved for true lovers in a moment of passion, not two teenagers fucking in a bathroom. But you couldn’t break away, not that you wanted to.

A gasp rang through the room. And in a moment that felt not unlike plunging into a freezing ocean, you realized that it had not come from you, or Seonghwa for that matter. Seonghwa had stilled to a halt inside you from the moment he heard it. He abruptly broke the kiss, sidestepping just enough that his broad back blocked the exposed parts of your body. But you couldn’t focus on the surprisingly chivalrous way he had protected you from sight, or the way he was mumbling under his breath as he righted himself and his clothes before doing the same to you.

No, your eyes were locked on the door. Where a mortified-looking Marie stood with her mouth hung open.

-

so can yall see what I was going for? or did I fail miserably lol.

[mooncademia]

hc: Secretly Dating Kirishima

    A/N: hcs for dating Kirishima in secrecy from the whole 1-A class!! I had so much fun writing this out, I hope you enjoy reading it!! 

Warning!: it’s a little spicy!

If it weren’t for your invisibility quirk, you would have been staked by now

But thankfully, Kirishima held responsible for most of the load, not that he did it voluntarily, but rather because your quirk saved your butt too many times

But the cuddles and the kisses make it up for it, right?

Okay, okay, let’s rewind:

When Kirishima confessed to you four months ago one evening, alone at a park, you could have sworn it was the absolute best day of your life.

You kissed him passionately that day, making him jump in surprise but melting completely in an instant.

But one thing that you both agreed on was to keep your relationship a secret.

Not that you were a super introverted or private person (oh gosh, you definitely had your fair share of rambles and random midnight escapes alright), but the two of you wanted to savor the relationship before all your classmates found out and blow up. It just wasn’t the right time to make the relationship exclusive

and plus… the excitement of having a secret relationship in class was something you two found exhilarating, and it makes spending time with each other even more…well, special.

But oh boy were there embarrassing incidents.

Your invisibility quirk saved you so many times from being caught with Kirishima, but lately things have been boiling so much that classmates are low-key believing Kiri is secretly hanging a lot of time with Mineta.

One day, at the dorms when everyone was doing their own thing in their rooms, you decided to slip into Kirishima’s dorm to hang out with him.

When Kirishima saw you, he let out a smirked as you hopped onto his bed.

Your boyfriend slung his arm around you, kissing the top of your forehead as you cuddled up next to him.

But things that day slowly went a bit heated and spicy.

You kissed Kirishima deeply, maybe it was the fact that the two of you haven’t had good quality time together due to the piling school/hero work, but one thing let to another and your clothes were halfway undressed and Kirishima’s trouser’s were hanging loosely below his waist.

There was lust in both of your eyes but the moment immediately snapped when Kirishima’s door flung open.

You instantly used your quirk when you heard the door creaked (your quirk also makes your clothes invisible as well. You could make things invisible if you touch an object and use your attention to spread your invisibility, but you were still training and you could only do it to small things—like a pencil or a notebook—not exactly a full on human being. Sorry kiri!).

You twirled around invisible and saw Midoriya standing at the doorway.

“Hey Kirishima, do you know if this week’s—“

Oh lord, the scene presented was 100% questionable.

Kirishima’s trousers hanging loosely, his shirtless body (you had to take off his shirt, oops!), and his heated sweaty expression that he had (which quickly turned into embarrassment when he saw Midoriya standing right in front of him.

“Oh! I’m sorry—Uh, excuse me for disturbing your uhm…” Mirdoriya said as his cheeks flushed when he saw Kirishima’s position and appearance on his bed.

“Wait, man! This isn’t what it looks like!” Kirishima yelped out as he quickly tugged his trousers back up. Though, he doubted Midoriya can believe him from what he just saw.

“N-no!,” Mirodrya stammered as he pulled the door to a close. “I totally understand. This week’s work has been a bit…stressful.”

And with that, Midoriya shut the door and you reappeared sitting on your knees on your boyfriend’s bed, muffling a giggle with a hand over your mouth.

Kirishima groaned as he flopped back into bed.

“They all probably think I’m as perverted as Mineta.”

That wasn’t the only time where Kirishima got exposed.

There were too many incidents that were happening.

But today was different

and of course, it started off with Kirishima getting in trouble.

Today, Jirou came in to your room, only to see Kirishima laying peacefully on your bed. You activated your quirk just on time but—

“K-Kirishima?! WHY THE HELL ARE YOU IN Y/N’s BEDROOM?!”

“N-no! I was just—“

“You pervert!”

“IM NOT-“

“Jirou? What’s wrong?” Yaoyorozu asked, walking into your room to sneak a peek about the commotion that was happening.

With hands on her hips, Jirou said, “Kirishima is laying on Y/N’s bed. Alone.”

Yaoyorozu gasped and muttered quietly to Jirou, “Maybe he did this to all of the girls’ rooms.”

But before Kirishima had the time to even say one sentence, Jirou and Yaoyorozu quickly ran away to search for you after shooting some evil death glares and distasteful comments.

Kirishima sighed as you reappeared.

“I’m so so sorry,” you said to him.

You gave him a kiss and a warm smile. You felt so lucky to have a boyfriend this understanding and sweet. He did have his fair share of complaints (totally understandable given what he had to go through!), but never once did he arguably blame you.

Instead, he just looked at you with crossed arms and a shake of his head as you tried to hide another laugh that is begging to slip out. Your lips inevitably twitched teasingly. 

His pout just looked too cute. 

“You owe me. A LOT,” Kirishima said to you as you climbed onto his lap.

You nodded. “I know, I know. I’ll make it up to you, I promise.”

“How do you suppose on doing that?”

“Hmm….how about…this.“ You kissed him on the lips, making Kirishima go jelly from your touch.

“Kisses and cuddles won’t make up for my reputation.”  He replied blandly but you could see a small smile forming on his lips.

“Well it definitely adds manliness to my eyes,” you said teasingly. 

You then sat up straighter and pondered for a bit.

“How about we tell them?” You wondered out loud.

“About the two of us?”

You kissed him again. “Of course, silly.”

“That we have been dating for more than 4 months without anyone knowing.”

“Yup.”

“And about all the incidents that happened.”

“Definitely,” you replied. “What do you say? I’m ready, but if you are not, I completely understand I—“

Kirishima grabbed the back of your neck, pulling you down for another kiss.

“I’m ready,” he smiled at you brightly.

You hummed in reply and cuddled on top of him as he laid his hands on your back.

But you didn’t need a classroom meetup for everyone to know about you and Kirishima.

Because as you cuddled up with your boyfriend in your room with your eyes closed and relaxed, Jirou and Yayorozu barged in again to see TWO figures in the room.

And well, the rest was history ♡. 

[smutbymia]

i need streetracer!mark & streetracer!reader enemies to maybe something more than enemies. hot, smutty & angsty. just wanna escape reality and live the go mv aesthetic in my imagination.

you kept your black baseball cap low as you stood in the audience that gathered at the end of the racetrack tucked away on the outskirts of your town. It was situated away from the suburban areas where up until now the city’s streetracers could do their thing away from prying eyes.

Cars flew by every minute or so and you watched the action carefully, making mental notes on each driver. You would be competing against some of them soon enough and you needed to be prepared because the stakes were always stacked against you and you refused to be underestimated by a bunch of guys.

You had learned how to race from your older brother streetracer!taemin who was undefeated for almost a full year back in his high school days before moving to Europe to participate in the most prestigious Grand Prix competitions. He was probably the only reason the race officiators allowed you to compete in the first place. However, after seeing what you could do on a racetrack there was no denying that you were more than capable to compete against the other guys your age and older despite the fact that they still often underestimated your abilities.

You watched as the winner crossed the finish line before doing one more victory lap and pulling over. The crowd exploded into cheers with people collecting the bets they had placed at the beginning of the night.

streetracer!mark jumped out of the driver seat with a smile on his face before being surrounded by the 6 boys you recognized as his crew. That cocky bastard, you thought to yourself as you watched him slip on a windbreaker over the white t’shirt he had on. His black hair was slicked back out of his face, taming his curls, and he rocked matching joggers and a pair of white sneakers.

Soon he was lost in the crowd. Whatever, it wouldn’t be long until you would inevitably cross paths on the track in the next coming weeks. The number of racers competing in the competition were dwindling down quickly as they elimated those who couldn’t place on the leaderboard after each race. Of all the years you had known Mark, you hadn’t raced him once. He certainly watched you drive from time to time just as you watched him but you couldn’t stand each other.

You turned to walk away from the crowd when you felt a hand land firmly on your shoulder. You stopped in your tracks before the familiar voice spilled into your ear as their arm snaked around your shoulder when the owner placed themselves at your side.

“Enjoy the show?” Mark asked, sneering as he continued to push through the crowd, walking with you towards a section of the parking lot where other racers who had come to watch parked their cars.

You groaned in response as he chuckled. “It’s not too late to drop out of the competition. Besides, your brother worked so hard to build up his reputation here. You wouldn’t want to be the one to ruin that would you?” he taunted. You spun around to face him as you shoved his arm off of your shoulder. Mark stumbled back laughing, knowing that he had hit a nerve. You were now standing by your car in the corner of the lot, almost everyone else had left so far and whoever remained was further down near the track, leaving the two of you alone in the shadows with only the moon giving you the little bit of light it had.

“This is the third race in a row where you’ve lost time on the third lap,” you began, “seems like that car of yours can’t keep up these days and seems like it’s much too late to make any modifications.”

Marks face dropped, and you could see the anger growing behind his expression. “You think a little lost time is going to make a difference when I race you? Quit while you’re ahead and maybe I’ll be nice enough to make you my trophy girl,” he said as he stepped closer to you, gripping your chin roughly between his fingers.

“You can’t drive for shit comparing to me, and you know it. Maybe you should give up on riding in cars and ride me instead, princess,” he said as his gaze dropped to your lips and you watched as his mouth lifted slightly at the corners. You could feel the heat rushing to your cheeks and you were praying it didn’t show.

You were enraged. He never saw you as an equal no matter what. Your hand flew across his cheek with a loud slap and he barely reacted other than the soft hiss that escaped his lips. “Feisty bitch,” he murmured through clenched teeth. He didn’t even bother to run his hand across the area to soothe his own skin. Instead he grabbed your other hand aggressively, catching you off guard. You raised your dominant hand again to deliver another slap to his cheek to get him away from you but stopped suddenly when he pulled the hand he had grabbed towards himself, pressing it against the thin layer of his joggers, allowing you to feel the erection that had grown in his pants.

“Go ahead baby, hit me again if you want to. You’re real sexy when you’re mad,” he dared you as he used your hand to palm himself through his pants while he leaned against the hood of your car. You caught him off guard when you slipped your hands into his joggers, wrapping your manicured fingers around his shaft.

He sucked in a quick breath as you gripped him firmly and jerked him off slowly. He pressed his palms against the hood of your car as he dropped his head back, letting out soft moans. Sure you hated him but you couldn’t deny that he sounded so pretty in that exact moment. If mark wanted to play then you’d play with him, you thought.

You leaned over to whisper in his ear as you continued to pump at his cock, pre-cum wetting your fingers. “Mark, baby...” you cooed, as you planted kisses and soft licks against his neck. The boy was coming undone right in front of your eyes. You watched as he gripped at the metal of the vehicle, letting out soft whimpers before he answered you.

“Y-yes, y/n?” he stammered, gazing up at you. You could have sworn you saw his eyes sparkle, and it softened your expression momentarily before you snapped out of it. You were in the middle of a game, whether mark knew it or not, and you were planning on winning.

“You’re so big,” you cooed, along with other words of praise. Mark had reached one of his hands around to grip at your ass underneath the skirt you wore , squeezing and massaging it.

“And so... so pathetic,” you whispered into his ear. You felt his hand on your ass go still. “Do you really think you can beat me? Because I think the only thing you’ll be able to think about is my hand around your dick and my tongue on your neck the next time you get in that car of yours to race me,” you taunted viciously as you pumped furiously at his cock.

“You... fucking... bitch,” he said in between moans. You were lucky that the entire lot was now deserted, all the racers and spectators long gone.

You watched as beads of sweat trickled down the side of marks forehead as he stared into your eyes with the darkest expression you had ever seen.

“Look at you, about to cum all over yourself like a little boy... and you haven’t even played with my pussy yet,” you pouted. “That doesn’t seem fair, you know. I deserve to have something to think about the next time we race too, don’t you think?” you fake whined as you released him from your grip and slipped your fingers into your mouth, tasting the pre cum he had released. Mark bit his bottom lip as he watched you lick your fingers clean. You pushed him flat against the hood of your car before climbing into his lap and straddling him against the cool metal. You circled your ass into his lap against his throbbing erection keeping him just as hard as you needed him to be as you peeled off your shirt and marks, leaving you both topless.

Mark layed back on the hood of the car again, but this time you moved up his body to position yourself overtop his face before shifting your panties to the side. “Give me something to think about Mark. This is the only chance you have to prove to me that you aren’t as pathetic as I think you are. Show me that you’re good for something after all,” you said as you roped your fingers through his hair. He grunted before placing his hands on your waist and forcing you down against his mouth not wasting even a second teasing you. He lapped at your soft flesh, running his tongue between every fold of your center.

You couldn’t help it as moans escaped your mouth as he devoured you delicately, sucking your clit into his mouth as he nursed it between his lips. You grinded against his mouth as your wetness dripped from your core and onto his chin. He hummed against your skin, savouring your taste. He licked long slow strips up and down the length of your pussy, stopping to lick softly at your clit before dipping his tongue into your hole. You threw your had back in ecstasy as he worked it in and out of you. You could feel yourself getting close, so you took the opportunity to pull away from him.

You positioned yourself back over his dick, sinking down onto him now that you were dripping wet. He slipped in an out of you with ease as you rode him.

“This is what you wanted, right baby?” you asked him as you captured his mouth in a wet kiss, licking at the juices you had left on his face. He moaned into your mouth as he left one of his hands on your hip, moving you against him as he thrusted up into you and used the other to rub your face sweetly, letting his thumb drag across your bottom lip whenever you broke your kiss.

“I-I’m gonna cum,” he said as he struggled to hold off his release. You layed against his chest still riding him as you bit at his ear, whispering naughty words into it to work him up even more.

“Please, daddy,” you begged in your sweetest voice. “I want you to cum inside of me so bad!”

Hearing you call him that drove Mark crazy as he quickened his pace, rocking the car with his thrusts.

You moaned desperately in his ear as you circled your hips against his, as he thrusted frantically up into you. You could feel your orgasm coming on as you broke character for a split second. “You’re going to m-make me cum so hard, Mark,” you said as you hovered above him, staring deeply into his eyes as you reached down to kiss him, biting and sucking at the flesh of his lips. Sure you were still toying with him but you couldn’t deny how fucking amazing he felt sliding in and out of you. He let his hand come down against your ass with a loud smack and it was enough to trigger your senses, sending you over the edge as you felt your orgasm ripple through you.

“Fuck, baby...” mark groaned as he dropped his head back against the hood of your car, as his eyes fell closed. His hips jerked as he released his warmth up into you, sending a bit of it spilling back down over himself.

You watched as his chest rose and fell over and over again as he caught his breath. When he opened his eyes again, this time it was you who smiled down at him with a smug expression on your face.

“Good luck getting that out of your mind before race day, you asshole,” you said, dipping your head down to plant a soft kiss against his lips. He looked flustered and soft; nothing like the boy who had approached you earlier. Mark didn’t say anything in response, instead opting to pull you closer to kiss you some more. Truthfully, the last thing he wanted to think about now was going up against you on the racetrack. He had a bigger problem to worry about because his heart was beating in a way it hadn’t before and he was worried about what that could mean for him.

You, oblivious to this, got up from the hood of your car before slipping your shirt back over your head as mark nervously did the same. He was still leaning against your car as you stood between his legs. Mark had his arms wrapped around you, holding you a little closer and a little tighter than you expected. It was almost as if he had grown attached. “Come on , I’ll drive you home,” you said softly. His friends had long since left with his car, probably expecting him to have caught a ride with some other girl.

“F-fine, but I’m driving,” he said softly sounding a bit dejected. He planted a final kiss on your lips, soft and slow as he drew circles against your cheeks with his thumb as your face rested in his hand.

Mark seemed to have lost the edge he possesed earlier as his cheeks went pink and he rubbed at the nape of his neck.

You slipped him your car keys, having decided not to argue with him as you both clambered into the vehicle and drove off into the night back towards the city. He hoped desperately that you had gotten the message behind his kiss and silently prayed that you also felt even a fraction of the feelings he knew he was quickly developing for you, for him too.

Angels, thanks for reading and thanks to the anon who put in this request🥺 leave me something in my inbox, babies. Love u bye -mia

The feedback on this was so lovely. You guys asked for a second part and it’s here!

Click here for streetracer!mark (pt.2): 2 Fast

[sepublic]

From what I’ve seen from the owl house fandom a lot of people seem to disregard Luz and Camilia’s relationship in favor of Luz and Eda’s relationship. I personally think that’s a shame, as, Luz and her mom clearly have a loving and supportive, albeit the two clearly aren’t on the same page.

           Yeah, I feel part of the issue is indeed that Luz is rightfully in favor of people being able to express themselves as individuals, and not having to conform to a certain standard! With Luz in particular, her weirdness and quirks are part of what make her so dang lovable and relatable, she feels like an ACTUAL nerd… So to see someone like her upset at the idea of Reality Camp, and to have that sort of spirit quashed does not gel well with many fans, relatably. Given how Camila expressed interest in Luz being less herself and more ‘fitting in the box’, amidst her calling Luz out on not having real friends –which, OUCH- and it’s not much of a positive impression we’ve had of her.

           The fact is, we haven’t gotten to see much of Camila at all; Enchanting Grom Fright was her second appearance, but we only ever saw her speak through text, and when she DID talk it was actually Grometheus playing out Luz’s worst fear of being rejected by Camila. Combined with being distracted by actual queer rep; And it’s not a surprise that with how little we have, having not seen that much good… Well, some people tend to forget her, or even outright vouch for Eda completely replacing Camila.

           Which, yikes, because of a certain dilemma called Fandom Racism, which I’m not nearly as well-versed nor literate in as OTHERS on this website… Personally, I’m of the mind that Camila AND Eda should get along as Luz’s mutual mothers, and maybe even marry. I won’t deny it’s a bit uncomfortable to see some people even write Camila as being homophobic, or NB-phobic, which is DEFINITELY going too far.

           Obviously, Camila is a bit complicit in Luz’s low self-esteem and wanting to see her become ‘normal’… But it’s pretty obvious with how she affectionately kisses her kid, and texts her by the end of the day, that Camila enjoys Luz? That she wants the best? Like, she’s a single mom who’s working as a nurse, she’s no doubt incredibly busy and wishes she could hang out with her kid more! Coupled with the stress of her occupation, and Luz getting into trouble… It’s like, I’m sure Camila would WANT Luz to be herself; But she also has to keep in mind how the rest of the world would react, and as a loving parent she’s of course afraid of seeing her child being ostracized.

          It’s a matter of deciding if you want your kid to be safe, versus letting them grow as a person… In this scenario, does Camila have Luz conform, thus allowing her to fit in and no longer be hurt by ostracization? Or does she permit Luz to be herself, at the cost of being an outcast and becoming alone- And possibly being alone, because what if something happens to Camila? She wants Luz to have friends, after all- Which is a valid concern because she didn’t have friends back home and obviously a solution was needed, although the Reality Check camp isn’t exactly the one Luz needs. And Camila’s already dealing with other adults telling her that Luz needs to be taught conformity.

          Camila’s in a thankless position. And while she could stand to be braver and vouching more for her kid, it stands to reason that even if her approach isn’t the best; She DOES love Luz as her child, that she doesn’t dislike Luz and is more concerned with how Luz will be treated in the future than actively thinking of Luz as, like, a freak. I imagine that Camila’s never been too much of a wild kid herself, so she’s completely out of her element here. She’s not perfect, but she’s still GOOD, you know?

          I mean, she texts Luz a lot and is clearly excited in keeping in touch with her kid! She alludes to her and Luz often hanging out a place that sells Chimichurri Sandwiches, every day after school! She just looks happy to see Luz’s texts and letters… Like, this is a woman who wants her kid to be happy, and is only trying to change her because she’s afraid she won’t be happy otherwise! Camila isn’t one of the Blight Parents, who sees her child as a symbol of status and reputation, as someone to control and a kid to be actively dissatisfied with for not being good enough. If left to her own devices, if given the resources the Blight Parents have, Camila would fully support Luz; But alas, she’s not privileged. Even then, she still tries.

          And it IS concerning that Luz’s worst fear is her mom finding out about the Boiling Isles, and disapproving- But we haven’t really seen anything to indicate that Luz is afraid of Camila, simply her disapproval! She happily texts her back and doesn’t seem uncomfortable around her, just with the situation at hand. Luz clearly doesn’t want to lose her parent’s approval, because she DOES like her parent; And sure, Amity is also afraid of losing her parents’ approval and they’re awful.

          But you can’t tell me Camila’s bad if someone like Luz was allowed to come into being underneath her care! She clearly let Luz be who she wanted to be, it’s just as societal pressure increases, she might be afraid that she wasn’t as responsible a parent as she could’ve been. Coupled again with Luz not having friends, and Camila, who’s already got a lot on her mind and is being told things by other adults, is wondering if she’s made a mistake somewhere down the line, and how to amend it.

           I think Luz just doesn’t want to feel like she’s hurt someone she loves; She hates hurting people, after all! Sometimes kids feel like their parents’ love is more conditional than it actually is, and while some parents may admittedly have allowed some confusion to fester; By the end of the day, ideally, those fears are irrational, and that those parents will always support their kid! I feel like Luz has associated Camila with her old life back home of being rejected, and having your own mom agree to send you to that summer camp was probably the worst feeling and felt like a betrayal. I think Luz is afraid that maybe Camila is ‘sick’ of her, that even her own mom is tired of Luz’s antics; And back home, Camila was who Luz valued and loved most! Luz just feels like her mother already has so much to deal with and doesn’t want to burden her even more.

           So even if Luz has a support network in the Boiling Isles, she still has emotional stakes back in the human world. To her, the human world is where she was rejected and ostracized, and her mother is the last human bastion of acceptance truly connecting her back there… Luz doesn’t want to lose someone she’s been close to for so long, she doesn’t like lying to people in general, and she’s already afraid of losing her mother’s support after getting signed up for summer camp. Plus, she may still feel somewhat beholden to her mother’s authority, under the impression that if Camila says she can’t stay with Eda, she HAS to go; Plus Luz seems intent on going home, so obviously she doesn’t want to get rejected by Camila there.

           I’m not sure if Luz has genuinely considered the possibility of staying on the Boiling Isles for the rest of her life… It’d be a really complicated issue, amidst all of her thoughts about her mother, her genuine love, the inevitable connection between a parent and their child… Honestly, give both Camila AND Luz a break, I say! Sure, Eda and Luz definitely have a better relationship, as-is... But that doesn’t mean Luz’s relationship with Camila is non-existent, bad, nor does it mean it can’t improve in the future!

           (Personally I’d love to see Eda and Camila get together, for obvious reasons… I can see Eda helping teach Camila to be braver for her own kid’s behalf, and make a point about how much happier Luz is as a ‘weirdo’ than she is as somebody who has to conform. Plus I think Camila is also a milf, there I said it.)

[ineffably-good]

Prompt: Wayward

Summary: Aziraphale and Crowley face their yearly performance reviews in the year 1491, and move a few steps closer to their eventual Arrangement.

Part of the Good Omens 30th Anniversary celebration prompts. 

Read the whole set on AO3! Note: I'm a bit of a history nut about the Medicis and medieval Florence. This story is set in the time just a few months before the Medici family fell from power after fostering a brilliant intellectual revolution in 15th century Florence, and about two years before the monk Savonarola had the big, famous bonfire in which the citizens of Florence burned their books, their paintings, and even famous painters like Botticelli threw their own masterpieces onto the pyre. I got to thinking about what sides the angel and the demon would have WANTED to be on in this conflict, and what side their respective bosses would insist that they actually work for. Conflicts of interest galore, and Crowley continues a subtle campaign to convince Aziraphale to work more closely with him. And everyone involved is a bit wayward. 

_____________________________

Wayward

Heaven, December, 1491

“Just try a little harder, Aziraphale,” Michael said to Aziraphale, straightening the papers of his annual performance review and giving him what she supposed was her most understanding and encouraging smile. In actuality, it was the kind of smile that school chancellors always gave their most unruly students before whacking them on their posterior with a large piece of wood. Aziraphale had to repress a visceral shudder in response.

“You don’t have to always be so contentious, do you?” she continued. “All we want you to do is support the Dominican monk against the Medici family – you know this renaissance of theirs is going directly against church policy, and therefore against Heavenly policy. We don’t want the humans to be encouraged to turn to science instead of hueing to the word of the Almighty.”

“Well,” Aziraphale said, trying to choose his words carefully. “It’s just that Savonarola intends to burn all of the books! And the paintings! And there really can’t be anything gained by doing so. All that creativity and knowledge, burned! Some of it is quite religious in nature and very important. Why would a monk do that? Is that really what She wants?”

Michael clasped her hands officiously on the desk in front of her. “It’s not up to you to question what She wants. What we want is what She wants, after all.” She sniffed as if she smelled something bad. “I know you love your books and your artists. Perhaps you’re getting a little too close to all of this Earthly material. Should we bring you back home so you can think over your waywardness in peace for a few centuries?”

“No,” Aziraphale said mildly, message strongly received. “No, that won’t be necessary. I believe I understand more fully what your position is. I’ll bring about the bonfire, no need to concern yourself.”

Michael examined him in silence for an excruciatingly long time. “Very well,” she finally said with a tight smile. “I’m glad we had this chance to talk. See Gabriel on your way out for your annual upgrades, please! And see you next year, Aziraphale.”

He left for Earth as quickly as he could manage. 

--

 Hell, December, 1491

Crowley stood before Lord Beelzebub trying to bite his tongue as he was dressed down for his lack of results. It was quite difficult, really, to keep his thoughts to himself. But then again, demons weren’t really supposed to be good at self restraint, were they? He was being a good demon by being rebellious. The thought made him tip one side of his mouth up in the tiniest of grins. He quickly smothered it, but there was no getting anything by Beelzebub.

“You find something amuzzzing, snake?” Beelzebub snarled.

“No, no,” Crowley assured them. “Just thinking that telling a demon he’s rebellious is kind of like yelling at the sky for being blue.”

Beelzebub frowned and stalked closer to him, their flies buzzing ominously around his face. Crowley knew better than to swat them off.

“You know what you are, demon?” they buzzed. “Unruly. Defiant. Wayward.”

Crowley knew he was in for a takedown no matter what he did or said, so he mentally shrugged and at least decided to keep his reputation intact as a complete and utter smart ass.

“Beez,” he purred. “Come on. You know you love all of those things about me. Who ever heard of a demon worth his salt who wasn’t just a little bit wayward? I mean, I’ve practically made an art form out of encouraging humans to be disorderly. Instead of a punishment, I think you should issue me a commendation.”

Beelzebub blinked and did, for just a fraction of a moment, look a tiny bit amused. “We will see about that,” she said, then waved a hand for the two burly demons behind him to take him back to his cell.

Crowley sighed. It was going to be some time before he got back up to Earth this time. All because the assassination attempt on Lorenzo Medici he was supposed to pull off failed. He didn’t tell them that it failed because he ensured that it failed; he liked Lorenzo, always had. Had been close to his father before him. Interesting man. Forward thinker. Let the upper echelons of Hell think it was general incompetence on his part, that was fine, as long as the new wave of thought and exploration that was being fostered in Firenze continued unchecked.

He had left the angel to keep things on track until he returned.

 --

 Florence, January, 1492

Crowley found Aziraphale waiting for him nervously near the merchant’s bridge over the Arno river. The angel was there, loitering near their appointed meeting place, hiding his interest by browsing through the tables and stalls of various vendors. Crowley sidled up beside him and fingered a piece of linen.

“Fine quality,” he said to the young woman behind the table, announcing his presence. Beside him, the angel picked up and fingered a gold chain, no reaction visible at all. “How much?”

She named her price and he handed it over, then draped the bundle of fabric over his arm and walked away, casting his senses out to ensure that the angel followed shortly behind him. He sauntered off towards the residential district until they found a small park where they could speak unobserved.

“You’ve been gone a while,” the angel observed as they sat back to back on opposing benches. “I’ve been checking daily for weeks now.”

“Hell wasn’t very happy with me,” the demon said over his shoulder. “Blamed me for the failed attempt on Lorenzo last month.”

“Well they’re quite right about that, aren’t they?” the angel said primly.

“You know as well as I do that there’s no way that I’m letting that man be assassinated!” Crowley protested, and then settled down. “I was friends with his father.”

Aziraphale made a calming gesture Crowley couldn’t see. “Oh, I quite agree, I do.” Aziraphale sighed. “You should hear my side. They want me to help Savonarola. He’s so unbearable.”

Crowley made a sympathetic noise. “He’s going to burn all the books, angel. How is your side possibly in favor of that?”

“I can’t imagine,” Aziraphale said. “All that knowledge. Gone. And I’m supposed to ensure that it happens. It’s – ineffable.”

Crowley frowned. That was just wrong. No one that knew him could ask the angel – this angel – to ensure that a massive book conflagration took place. It went against everything he stood for, everything he loved. He felt, once again, a deep, flaming anger against the idiots in Heaven. They were like giant, petulant children, squishing ants for fun.

“Michael called me wayward,” Aziraphale said, incensed. “Can you imagine?”

Crowley laughed bitterly. “Beelzebub used the same word about me. I suppose we’re both a bit unruly these days.”

It was hard not to be. Rarely had the world felt so exciting as it did now, in the midst of what would come to be called the Renaissance. After so many centuries of struggle, after the horrors of the 14th century, suddenly there was an explosion of learning and sophistication and hope. It was hard not to be swept away in it, if you’d been waiting for so long for a spark of inspiration to take root in western civilization again.

“It feels,” Aziraphale said hesitantly, as if he were putting words to the greatest heresy of his life, “like we’re on the wrong sides of this. Doesn’t it?”

“What do you mean?”

“Just that it would make more sense if my side was behind the Medici family and championing enlightenment and learning, and your side was, well, more focused on burning things and stomping people down and closing off their minds.” The angel petered off, overwhelmed by the sensation that he was both betraying Heaven in stating such a thing and probably angering the demon as well.

To his surprise, the demon was merely thoughtful.

“I can see what you mean,” he said quietly. “It’s certainly an odd situation. Perhaps we can, I don’t know, help each other?”

Aziraphale frowned. “We’ve discussed this before, and the answer is still no. I’m not doing your job for you, and you’re not doing mine.”

Crowley bit his tongue. “Not what I meant, angel,” he said. “I meant, maybe I can help you save some of those books.”

Aziraphale blinked hard. “You’d do that?”

“I might,” the demon said. He thought quickly about how much of his true motivation to reveal, and decided to toe the company line, for now. “If it serves my interests.”

Aziraphale took a deep breath. This was yet another step closer to the inevitable partnership that Crowley kept needling him about, bringing the idea up every few decades, how they could work together, simplify both their lives. He knew he had to resist, but oh, the idea of saving some of these priceless works from utter destruction was just so tempting.

Wayward, he thought grimly. They already think I’m disobedient and unruly and working against the party line.

“What did you have in mind?” he said quietly.

Another line crossed, the angel thought. But at least there was one person who understood what was at stake.

[soofection]

jenkai discourse in retrospection

 (long post)

to take a slightly more light hearted break from all the updates regarding the burning sun case, I propose a discourse of jxk in retrospection after gaining all the new knowledge exposed by the media recently

dont read if you dont want to, if you read please dont come attack me for posting what I want on my own blog 🥰

In no way is what I type facts, and I am NOT comparing burning sun case with jxk (jxk is so insignificant and jxk is not a criminal case) yet I will make references to what the media and companies are capable of doing as proven by the exposure from the b. sun case regarding similar behaviours.

---

we now know that the kpop world is not what some once thought - an ideal fairytale land where idols/ the media never lie to us.

The truth:

We finally realize for sure that in korean ent. industry, sexual favours (in exchange for sponsors, promotion via media manipulation, basically fame and safety), offering prostitutes services... all in all using SEX is commonly used in return for connections / power / protection from the 'higher ups'.

why did jxk happen?

I propose: to cover yg x jni sex/sexual activities and jni has sponsors rumours (updated). After knowing yg is to a certain degree (personal assumption: large extent) involved in B.Sun and gangnam clubs, it makes sense to suspect that the jni rumour could be real. look up yg's past history, how he obtained his wife (emphasis, obtain). 12 years older yg 'fell in love' the moment he saw his wife as a second year middle school girl, recruited her at 16, ruined her career and married her. who knows how exactly yg treats his younger girl employees? Who is there to protect them?

but its just a 'groundless' rumour why was yg desperate?

to propose reasons: 1) it could be real, if so he HAS to camouflage it before it blows up further. 2) even if its not real, he didnt want to put bp's and his own name's reputation at stakes since bp is his most money earning group right now 3) if he doesnt make a deal with dispatch, who ofc are capable of digging deeper and they hate yg (proven by their ability to obtain kkt chats and exposing b.sun evidences) to supply them a fake scandal to cover ygxjni... dispatch WILL expose him. (also keep in mind jni has other sponsor rumour that might or not be true). and 4) - suggested by anon: yg could be taking precautions before b.sun scandal blows up. As we know b.sun revolves around sex crimes, Yg must get rid of the 'boss had sex with employee' label before b.sun blows up. Or else he will get dragged, it would be like adding oil on fire.

this theory is reinforced by allshitpop stating a media outlet discriminately announced 'the yg x jni rumour was false.' why purposefully mention it when no one asked?

but why ji?

main reason: hes an artist from sm. Yg desperately needed a scandal impacting enough to satisfy dispatch (releasing small unconvincing sandals will discredit dispatch's liability and reputation. ) But what to do when none of yg's male artists are popular enough to create a fuss nor any male groups's careers mature and stable enough to withstand the scandal pressure from the general public? the obvious solution is ofc to beg other big companies - sm or bighxt.

Most popular boy groups atm is still btx and ekso. honestly yg wouldve prefered btx due to their crazy fame, and jni will be their first dating scandal... the reactions would be DRAMATIC. yet in contrast to ekso, btx didnt really need to take that risk in hopes for more popularity. (rmb there would always be adverse effects when being involved in a dating scandal despite positive reactions and large no. of supporters). Also, even if btx has any scandals to cover, bighxt's recent merge with cj-enm (described as 'a powerhouse' aka very huge powerful company) means btx's any potential scandals can be taken care of for now. so that leaves ekso.

Who in ekso fits ji's image the most?

(hence will recieve 'positive' reactions and make them more aesthetically believable. without a doubt, its ji and his on going promoted sex appeal.) Reasons for ji and not other members: 1. theres no harm in giving him a beard (personal belief, ignore point 1. if you think homosexuality/kaisoo pairing isn't plausible) 2. to raise his popularity for his potential upcoming solo. 3. if someone who was involved in dating scandal before came up again, they probably predicts the pairing to be more positively recieved --> more supportors and a more hyped response from the public.

but none of that happened, the scandal was managed poorly. The paris evidence was made in a rush (dates didnt match) park pictures were too ambiguous (again dates and time didnt match), even when dispatch posted a pic of ji in a carpark supposedly came back from hawaii to give jni presents after landing - we learned from ji's own ig live that the day he wore the outfit in the photo, he had already returned to korea a few days ago, was around town shopping and went no where near the airport. Besides these failed attempts there was absolutely no other proof that jxk is real.

why was it poorly managed?

bc this is a rare collab between two big rival companies. Yg was the one begging at the start yet sm wasnt able to take full control of this scandal. Conflicts and disagreements upon makng many decisions were highly likely to occur between these two rivals.

The break up

a lot of fans were shocked when jxk broke up just after 25 days. (brand new record). what else is weird?

sm personally confirmed jxk broke up abruptly. Usually when couples break up, fan rumours start to float around first. But not this time, no rumours surfaced yet sm all of a sudden definitively stated that jxk broke up. Back then I already predicted it maybe because yg or bp got into trouble hence sm wanted to distance themselves as far as possible. I still stand by that idea.

Sm must get away from yg and b.sun case for the sake of theirs/ekso's reputation. sm def dont want to be dragged into the mess. Remember, sm as a huge company themselves def have their own dirt to hide, getting dragged means huge consequences if the investigators target them.

so why did sm agree in the first place? I assume its bc altho sm knew that yg had dirt to hide, they did not know it was something as serious, severe and big as b.sun case / tax evading case. Therefore, what are the coincidences that sm announced breakup shortly before dispatch sparked reinvestigation into b.sun by posting crucial evidences? (the first chats)

its highly possible that dispatch warned sm, (which makes them sound like the good guys but no. remember sm is dispatch's source of money and partnered with them many times. b.sun indeed aint directly related to sm, (as for now) dispatch has no reason to ruin sm) Or, sm could have found out through other sources that b.sun case will blow up soon. they quickly cut their collab with yg early, and announced break up probably without telling yg first. (since telling them possibly means giving dispatch away).

this also suggests that dispatch hates yg but anyway.

The benefits of ji

Comparing the two, jni seems to be the one who gained more from the scandal. She got most of media and the public's attention. there is an explanation for this - shes the 'rookier' one, and the trendier one out if the two since bp is still rising when ekso has reached their plateau. However, ji did gain his own lesser share of attention (indicated by the gained followers on his ig).

I have always said that when idols agree to be involved in a scandal, they are likely to get a 'reward.' but now thinking about it, agreeing to scandals is part of ji's contract, rewards are bonus but not obligations. Besides, the scandal itself supposedly helps ji gain popularity for solo and gains a beard, sm didnt NEED to give him more bonus. Often when idols get more modelling jobs / solo etc after scandals is bc sm uses the risen populairty from scandal as an opportunity to maximise profit by giving them more jobs, it might not be bc sm wants 'pamper' them.

Plan cut short

unfortunately for ji who is not getting his solo soon, the jxk plan flopped due to poor management, and was cut short due to b.sun case. The scandal did not fulfill what it was supposed to do and ended prematurely . Followed by the apparent troubles in sm negotiating contract terms with ekso, (delayed ekso schedules),chxn suddenly getting a solo, and the blowing up of b.sun case, ji might have missed his chance again. Or hes simply still preparing.

to summarize i want to clarify a few things.

- none of these are facts, but an overall picture forming one huge speculation.

- I dont try to defame bp or shame them. i also am not trying to state that girl artists def had sex with the hihgher ups. b.sun has shown us that men always have more power over women, and they rarely get protection.

- I want people to realize the dark side of kpop. The kpop industry is full of conspiracies, media manipulation and lies. What you see on tv is not who your idols are portrayed to be on camera. Don't impose your ideal vision on them and hurt others when reality suggests otherwise.

side note: this theory conveyed reinforcement to statements I've made before

- conspiracies are real and true. Look at all the dark and shady events involved in b.sun case

- media play, mass manipulation exist and are common practice.

- dispatch and sm collab and are partners on a case by case basis.

- idols lie on interviews all the time, their tv persona is different from the real them.

- companies offer protection for their idols

- it is indeed common practice to use one scandal to cover another

ANYTHING can happen in the world of the k ent industry. dont lightly dismiss any possibilities. We must analyse the sum of the situations - the full picture of any events before believing anything we are told.

[popatochisssp]

ooh! asks are open! if you're not accepting, don't worry about it! if u are, then how do you hc each skeles ideal job and actual job in the human world?

Their ideal and actual jobs are the same, because I am a softie who wants all her boys to be happy so everybody’s got jobs they enjoy!

As for specifics, I’ve talked about some in passing, but see the full list below! ;3

Sans (Undertale): He has two! He’s a delivery driver and does security for the local mall. The former is a natural extension of his lazy demeanor and special abilities– teleportation lets him make all his deliveries near-instantly and then he spends the rest of the time allotted to him napping in his truck or taking a Grillby’s break. On weekends, he moonlights as a mall cop and it’s equally his speed since it’s a lot of observation and ‘policing’ but very little actual responsibility. He may also, on the side, sell a few bootlegs here and there, but you’d be very hard-pressed to catch him at it.

Papyrus (Undertale): Strip club bouncer. I am one million percent behind this, he would love this job and be loved at this job, and he deserves that. But that’s just his night-job, he has a day-job too since he likes to keep busy and while the sun is up, he’s a personal trainer! He’s fantastic at encouraging people through their work-out routines and they find it easier to stick to their healthy diets and make good choices when the alternative is the horrific thought of………disappointing Papyrus…! He’s very good at his job and has so much fun with it that he barely even thinks of it as a job.

Sky (Underswap Sans): Lots of these skeletons do double-duty and with as much energy as Sky has, you know he’s one of ‘em: he’s a firefighter as his main career, and on the side he bartends. He’s a physically fit guy who loves the idea of being a hero, and he also has no skin or lungs, so he can get into lots of places in a burning building that his human coworkers can’t– and that’s without even factoring in the shortcut ability. But he’s not at the station 24/7 and he likes to be productive, so he picks up bartending shifts where he can. He’s very precise with his pours and he’s very charming and sociable with patrons, so he’s a joy to have on shift for everybody!

Paps (Underswap Papyrus): Only one job for this guy, he’s a librarian! He is a huge literature nerd and the Underground only had what just so happened to fall down and not get completely ruined. Getting to work in a place with thousands of books he’s never seen before is awesome–and so is the actual job! It’s pretty quiet as a rule and the stakes are low, so he ends up liking most of the people he interacts with. A chill work environment for a chill skeleton, he’s very happy here!

Jasper (Underfell Sans): He’s a mechanic, and also moonlights at the infamous ‘dog stand. He likes working with his hands and doesn’t mind getting a little dirty. That plus his intricate knowledge of mechanics makes working at an auto shop a good fit for him. He ends up actually missing a little bit of his routine Underground, though– goddamn nostalgia… When the Asgore in his universe decrees that his subjects who owned shops and food businesses Underground reopen on the surface, a political move to improve human relations and make more positive associations with the very intimidating, violent-looking monsters– he actually decides to go for it and starts manning his ‘dog stand whenever he feels like it. He makes some mean hot-animals and is actually one of the more personable of the Fell-monsters so he’s doing his bridge-building duty pretty well, even if only as a weekend kinda thing.

Pyre (Underfell Papyrus): He’s still the Captain of the Royal Guard, but…monsters are making some very strong moves toward demilitarization and in peace-times, there’s just not all that much for him to do. Somewhere in all of his new downtime he takes up studying law and eventually makes a career out of it. Lawyer is kind of a natural job for a guy who’s intelligent, has a great head for details, and doesn’t shy away from an argument, so once he makes it through law school in record time, he’s a sight to behold in the courtroom: eloquent, passionate, and always sharply-dressed! He specializes in human/monster rights-related cases and will even do some pro bono consulting for the causes he deems worthy, but if you can pay his fee and he doesn’t completely loathe you, he’ll take pretty much any case. If he’d been born on the surface to start with, though, he may have pursued a career in acting– he’s has a lot of natural talent and still counts it as one of his interests, but… it’s been soured, just a little bit, by the nasty role he had to play Underground. He’ll probably only pick it up again as a hobby, at most.

Mal (Swapfell Sans): Like Pyre, he doesn’t want to– and won’t!– give up his position as Captain of the Royal Guard so lightly, but on the surface with monsters integrating into peaceful human society, he has a lot more spare time than he did before and has to figure out something to do with it. He eventually settles in as an actuary. Numbers are and have kind of always been his happy-place: mathematics is cold, hard logic, cause-and-effect that’s simple the way nothing in the messy real world ever is, and aside from physical training losing himself in statistics and probabilities is the best sense of flow he’s ever been able to slip into. Once he gets his degrees accredited, it’s very easy for him to find employment running numbers and he’d start off somewhere in the insurance industry. He’d be fine there for awhile– he’s firm and impersonal, and not easily swayed by sob-stories– but eventually the way the industry is structured to benefit corporations over people becomes a little much for even him to handle. From there, he’ll move on into the private sector and do a lot of freelance consulting for companies to analyze and manage risk. It’s very boring and nerdy to just about anyone who isn’t him, but he likes the work!

Rus (Swapfell Papyrus): He’s a commission artist. He doesn’t like going out too much and the idea of getting any of the entry-level jobs he’s qualified for–retail and customer service, mostly– makes him want to puke and/or die a little. When he finds out there’s a thriving community of people requesting and paying for art online, he is so there. He takes a little time to get familiar with digital art and generates a presence for himself online to attract interest and then opens himself up to commissions. He has almost no limits on what he’s willing to draw and quickly stumbles across the furry scene, the kink scene, and the places they overlap, so he gets paid really well and gets to work from home while doing it. For the sake of his brother’s reputation, he tries not to mention or show any of the explicit stuff he works on in front of anybody they know, but he’s personally unashamed about it.

Slate (Horrortale Sans): Ever since his head injury, he’s not really capable of holding down a job– his short-term memory is garbage and his ability to learn and process new tasks is a lot slower than any reasonable employer would be understanding of, so that rules out pretty much all his options right there. Since monsters hit the surface in his universe, though, humanity was shocked and appalled by the circumstances Underground and in spite of some fear and condemnation, the outpouring of pity and sympathy was enormous. A lot of legislation ended up quickly pushed through so that monsters could get regular stipends in reparations for their imprisonment and suffering, and also can receive disability benefits if deemed eligible. With a giant hole in his head and all that comes with it, he’s eligible so he doesn’t need a job, but at the insistence of his brother, he does need to get out of the house. His aimless wandering eventually leads him to an animal shelter seeking volunteers. He likes the pups and kitties because they’re soft and cute, plus they’re all down on their luck like he was. He’s very gentle with even the most aggressive animals and after a very short time volunteering there, he gains a bit of a reputation as a miracle worker…but he doesn’t really care about that, he’s just happy to help the little fuzzballs out.

Papy (Horrortale Papyrus): Like his brother, he gets a reparations stipend from the human government but unlike his brother, he’s not eligible for disability– nor would he want to be! He craves getting to be a productive member of society again since he…wasn’t of nearly as much use, Underground as he wished he could’ve been. Entry-level jobs would be fine for him, anything to be out and gainfully employed, but he’s rapidly dissatisfied with any of the jobs he takes. He knows that cashiers and clerks and receptionists are all very valuable parts of an infrastructure, but it’s just…not really for him? He wants to make a bigger difference, he wants to help people, and that’s what leads him to nursing. Between his brother’s disability benefits, their reparations, and his wages from part-time employment, he’s able to put himself through school without putting any serious strain on their financial situation and eventually graduates to registered nurse. From his underground experiences he’s no stranger to blood, other human bodily fluids, or even death, so handling it in the context of trying to save lives is something he’s not only capable of, but delighted to be a part of. He’s definitely a little down when one of his patients doesn’t make it, but he’s not devastated by it: he just vows to keep doing his best so that he can help as many people as possible!

[belphegor1982]

A really short chapter this week - bit of a breather after and before more action-oriented chapters. If you’re still reading I hope you like it!

FAIRY TALES AND HOKUM

Summary: 1937: Two years after the events of Ahm Shere, the O’Connells are “required” by the British Government to bring the Diamond taken there from Egypt to England. In Cairo, while Evelyn deals with the negotiations and Rick waits for doom to strike again, Jonathan bumps into an old friend of his from university, Tom Ferguson. Things start to go awry when the Diamond is stolen from the Museum and old loyalties are tested… (story on AO3; on FFnet)

(Chapters: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12)

Chapter 13: Those Left Behind (on AO3 here)

The heat had been growing steadily for a few hours now. Despite the fact that the room she was kept in was in a sort of basement, with no other light than the small window that gave onto what she thought was a sunlit corridor, Elizabeth Ferguson was starting to feel very uncomfortable. These were always the hours in the day where she regretted the most her cool, green Dorset, where the end of July meant just enough heat to enjoy a cool house and a fresh drink. The water she was provided with here was tepid at best.

Then again, at least she had something to quench her thirst. If there was something she had learned in this past week, it was to take what was offered and make do with it, no matter how uncomfortable it was. Elizabeth recalled with a wince the first time she had been told that there were no sanitary installations that she could use, except for a chamber pot and a basin of hot water in the morning. At first, she had protested, arguing that in the middle of the 20th century it was an absolute scandal that a woman, even a prisoner, couldn’t have access to modern facilities… But after a while, she simply couldn’t wait any longer and accepted the pot, humiliating though it was to go through your business while a man outside waited for you to finish so that he might take it away.

She only had the bare necessities. She had not changed her clothes for a week, and in addition to the physical discomfort they were starting to smell. She did have a quick wash every morning, but only to put her old clothes back on. Her work suit looked now long past its best with dust and sweat, and her new stockings were laddered. Elizabeth really regretted the loss of her stockings, as it had been a gift from her husband just before he left for Egypt.

To think that that particular Tuesday had begun so well. The postman had caught her just before she left for work with a postcard from Tom, a lovely picture of pyramids and the Sphinx with a few words on the back that said he loved her and wished she were there. His work at the Antique Research Department was always sending him to exotic places, Egypt in particular, and he always sent her the sweetest postcards.

She didn’t notice the long dark-coloured car straight away. She did notice it was parked under a road sigh for Bournemouth when the driver asked her for directions to that very same town. Nevertheless, she approached and answered politely, especially as the gentleman behind the wheel was very civil.

What happened just afterwards, she had no idea. The only thing that stuck in her mind was a violent, dizzying smell that reminded her of hospitals. When she had woken up, she had felt weak and sick, petrified with fear, and prayed that she had remembered to turn off the gas before she left.

Elizabeth had no idea where she was kept, except that it was probably in Egypt – in Cairo, more precisely. Her captors had given her an Egyptian newspaper, dated from the day before her kidnapping, to hold why they took a picture just after she woke up. After that, there had been a boat, a train, a plane, and another plane, always tied up, gagged, and blindfolded.

She had talked with the American – Mr O’Connell – last Saturday. If she went by the rhythm and number of the meals, it was now Tuesday morning.

Keeping track of time was so difficult when you didn’t have your usual everyday habits to rely on.

This strange conversation had left her with a profound sense of shock. All she had been told was that Tom had something to do that he was quite likely to refuse, and that the stakes were so high she had been brought here as a guarantee. For days, she had wondered what those stakes could be, and how involved Tom was.

The American’s story did answer some of these questions, but in such a way that she almost refused to believe it. How could a simple diamond, big though it was, be so dangerous? If the Research Department wanted it so badly, why couldn’t they just buy it from that museum? And – and this was the question that haunted her most – what exactly was the nature of Tom’s job? What kind of job could force a man to do such a bad turn to an old friend?

This Mr O’Connell had really sounded angry, almost hurt. Elizabeth herself could hardly believe that, because of Tom, this man had been kidnapped, parted from his wife and his son. This, to her, seemed about the cruellest thing that could happen to a family man. Goodness knew Tom and she had tried, unsuccessfully, to become parents.

What she really had trouble picturing was her husband, her Tom, playing an active part in what looked like a villainous theft and helping to imprison a friend. Especially Jonathan Carnahan.

Those two… Elizabeth couldn’t help a smile at the thought of the pair as they were in university, what seemed like ages ago. They had been close, as close as two school friends can be, and gradually they had become her closest friends, as well. Years had passed since, and while her relationship with Tom had turned into something much more intimate, they had passed without a word to or from her other ‘suitor’. After the war, he and his sister Evelyn had moved to Egypt once the latter had finished her studies, and Elizabeth had no idea when, or if, they had come back to England.

How many times had she heard the expression ‘Those were the days’ from some old toothless granny recalling the golden times of her youth? Now Elizabeth could truly comprehend what they meant. She was perfectly happy with Tom, the both of them earned a living of their own quite decently and she loved their home; but life lacked the excitement of her university years. It seemed to her she had the secret to enjoy even the simple fact of being alive, back then; a million thoughts could come into her mind at the same time, including some that made her blush. Not that she’d been given many reasons to be flustered; she hadn’t quite fitted in the canons of female fashion of the time, so her number of regular ‘escorts’ had been very restrained.

In fact, the only two boys more or less her age who had looked at her – really looked at her – were the two students competing for the worst reputation in their own university. Knowing this had made her quite wary until her cousin Arthur had assured her they were really decent lads after all. They were both funny, both broadly bragged of deeds and feats of questionable morality, but oh, had they made her feel alive!

Elizabeth shook her head. Those were the days, indeed, but it was no good dwelling on them with regret. She had spent two days turning over the conversation with Mr O’Connell in her mind, in vain. She still had no idea what exactly was going on, and especially why.

From this disheartening situation was dawning a determination such as she had never felt before. This just Would Not Do. She was reaching her breaking point, and the patience that was one of her major traits was wearing off slowly but inexorably. Especially when she thought of Tom: lies or no lies, Elizabeth knew her husband, and she also knew that the people who hadn’t hesitated to kidnap her would probably stop at nothing to get what they wanted, and Tom had principles. He was a good man, and she had had all the time in the world to worry about what they might do to him – or her – if things went awry. Problem was, she just could not see a way out.

Unless…

Footsteps began to echo in the corridor just as an idea began to take shape in her mind.

This was madness. There was no way she could pull it off. She was a poor actress, definitely no heroine, and her courage had strict limits. Then again, Elizabeth could see no other way out, and even if the idea seemed downright crazy, she knew she really had to try something, for the sake of the husband she loved as well as an old friend’s.

The footfall was coming closer. She took a deep breath, closed her eyes, and collapsed on the spot, moaning slightly and clasping her stomach, and overall trying to appear in great pain.

From her spot on the ground, she heard the clinking of keys and the creaking of a lock, then saw a pair of big feet almost running at her and a body dropping in a crouching position.

“Jesus,” she heard, muttered between clenched teeth. “Er… Ma’am? Are you all right?”

“Don’t… don’t know,” she groaned, hoping fervently that the newcomer would buy it, all the while looking for the weapon he was bound to have somewhere. “Hurts…”

“Where?” he asked with surprising gentleness, a hand on her shoulder and the other on the ground for support. She shook his hand off with the pretence of a coughing fit she managed to pull off despite her shaky breathing.

“Do you want me to call somebody? A doctor?” he insisted with the same awkward sweetness that made her think he must be rather young. She shook her head, trying to calm the pounding of her heart in her chest, and as she looked up her breath caught in her throat. There it was. A big-looking gun was hanging rather loosely from a holster under his jacket, just inches from her!

She pushed on her elbows as though to get up right away, and he did exactly what she hoped he would do. He put both his hands on her shoulders – “Whoa, easy there” – and doing this, uncovered the gun, which tipped to Elizabeth’s hand as if it wanted to jump out of its holster. Which was more or less what happened.

Faster than she had thought she would be, Elizabeth stood up in front of the man, his revolver in her hands that felt too small for it. She hadn’t held a gun in nearly twenty years.

He just goggled at her, as though he had yet to grasp the reality of the situation.

“Stand up,” she said, recalling everything that had happened in this past week for her voice to sound appropriately cold. “And step back.”

The man staring at her with wide eyes was probably younger than her by a decade. The flaming red curly hair flying around his freckled face made him look vulnerable, almost friendly. He did what he was told, apparently too shocked to do otherwise. But Elizabeth didn’t abandon her wariness; nor did her grip on the gun loosen one bit.

“What’s your name?” she asked.

The young man’s mouth moved wordlessly for a second, then he replied, “Stephens. B—Benjamin Stephens.”

“Well, then, Mr Stephens,” she said, speaking slowly and detaching each syllable, “I have a question I’d like you to answer.”

“S—sure,” Benjamin Stephens stammered, still bemused. “What is it?”

Elizabeth came one step closer, trying to keep her hands from shaking, and locking her eyes onto his, she asked quietly, “Where is my husband?”

.⅋.

It had been obvious, from the moment Evelyn saw Ardeth come back from the Medjai camp last night, that everything had not happened according to plan. Even now, his eyes were flashing furiously and a dark frown was on his face as he sat in a corner of the dirigible pouring over maps and thinking hard. Evy wondered, as she sipped her morning tea, if he had even slept a wink at all last night.

To be honest, she had held a faint wild hope to see him come back with Rick and Jonathan trailing behind, tired and worn perhaps, but alive and unscathed. It had been a disappointment, especially for Alex, who had kept watch until he just could not stay awake any longer. The look on his face as he woke up to find the dirigible still moving and no Dad or Uncle Jon in sight had torn Evelyn’s heart, particularly since he fought so hard to keep a stiff upper lip, which was terrible to see in his still-childish face. Her boy was only ten, for God’s sake. He shouldn’t have to bear things like that.

Right now, he was leaning on his elbows on the rail, staring at the great yellow dunes, flattened under the sun, that moved along under the dirigible. She couldn’t see his face, but she could tell that the enduring situation was nerve-racking for him. It was bad enough for her.

She walked over and sat quietly beside him. His ruffled blond hair, darker than it had been when he was younger, flew into his face, reminding Evelyn of his father’s whenever a slight breeze stirred.

“Are you all right?” she whispered, her heart in her throat. Alex gave a slight nod.

“Yeah.” He said that so absent-mindedly he could as well have uttered ‘no’. Evy didn’t budge. She knew there would come a moment when he would speak up. Alex had no patience at all for uncomfortable silences.

Sure enough, she was proven right after a short while.

“Mum, what the heck did happen down there? I would’ve asked Ardeth, but he looks like a dog who’s just been stolen a bone from.”

She couldn’t help a smile at the mental image. “Ardeth doesn’t bite, you know.”

“Have you looked at him?”

“All right, you do have a point.” Evelyn’s eyes returned to staring at the dunes as if of their own accord. She loved this landscape so dearly it really felt like an integral part of herself. “Well, it seems that Ardeth and the Medjai went to retrieve both the Diamond of Ahm Shere and your dad and uncle, but that they failed in that. And they lost a few men in the scuffle.”

Alex’s head swivelled round in a flash, and he looked very white all of a sudden. “Dad and Uncle Jon were all right though, weren’t they?”

Evy thought about what Ardeth had told her of the confrontation with Hamilton, and cut to the core of things. “Yes, dear, don’t worry. The problem is, for that Hamilton man, they are also hostages on top of having information, and he doesn’t seem too keen on letting go of his hostages so easily.”

“Oh.” Alex seemed to relax slightly. “Still, I wish this nutcase would’ve chosen somebody else for ‘information’.” His lips thinned into what would have looked like a pout, were it not for the set, serious expression of his round blue eyes. “I wish Uncle Jon hadn’t bumped into Mr Ferguson the other day. I wish we hadn’t come to Egypt at all, even.”

Evelyn gave a small sigh, refraining from taking him in her arms, only taking the liberty to tuck tenderly a blond lock behind his pink round ear. “Things just don’t work like that, sweetheart. There are some things I wish never happened, but they did. Sometimes, some good can even come from the bad. I met your father because I wanted to go to Hamunaptra, and when I – accidentally – raised Imhotep, a lot of terrible things happened. People died, and it looked like the end of the world. But in the end, things got better. Not like they were before – people were dead, and we couldn’t do anything about it –”

“Oh, c’mon, you had the Book of the Dead, didn’t you, Mum?” Evy sensed the battle was half-won when Alex risked a grin. She smiled.

“We didn’t, Imhotep did, and at the time we had done everything to bury him very, very deep in the sand. No, my point is, when bad things happen, the bad doesn’t last for ever. And if you look hard enough – God knows that sometimes, you’ve got to look really hard – you can find that some good comes from it. Has it ever occurred to you that you wouldn’t even be there if it hadn’t been for Imhotep?”

The boy made a curious face, something halfway between thoughtful and disgusted, and turned to his mother to look her in the eye. “Well,” he finally said, a smile pulling at the corners of his mouth, “I must remember to thank him next time, for sure.”

She gave him a bright, genuine smile, and put an arm around him to hold him close. Surprisingly enough, Alex made no move out of the embrace and seemed content to let his mum hug him. They watched the horizon for a little while, until Alex grumbled, “Anyway, whatever good or bad comes from this whole nasty business, I really hope it won’t be a little brother or sister.”

Evelyn gave a hearty laugh this time, and she was almost certain to have heard a slight chuckle behind her from Ardeth’s corner.

.⅋.

I wrote this chapter in 2005; I was 23 and not particularly aware of things like tropes and the Bechdel Test, but I knew I wanted to bring these two women – Evy and Elizabeth – together because, apart from Satiah in chapters 6 and 7, they were pretty much the only female characters of the whole cast at this point and didn’t interact at all. At the time it was a subconscious attempt at the Bechdel Test – or at least shifting the focus to women for a change. Evy’s and Satiah’s conversation in chapter 7 doesn’t pass it, either.

Now I'm 37 and a little more… seasoned, I suppose, and also less terrified of any female OC (whatever her role in the story) getting branded as a Mary Sue. There are a few more original characters introduced in the oncoming chapters, some male, some female. Hopefully they all work.

[eighthmnth-blog]

          -------------- and he shall be levon       ( and he shall be a good man )    and he shall be levon       ( in tradition with the family plan )

and i oop

none of this is going to make sense. im really really tired. ive been in a hot car all day sldjskld baking. crispy. now im going to sleep before work,,, but wrow hi im r, im way too excited to be here. this intro is ?? too long but after all these years ive never learned how to stfu. i COULD have done this sooner but i also turned my brain off last night and watched baby driver for the first time and wow 10/10 would recommend sdksjdlkas i dont have discord because im living in the stone age  but im available via tumblr ims if anyone wants to plot --- ill prop make a proper connection page 2mmrow,, just fuck him up. honestly. ruin him. take out the trash.

basics    

[ luke hemmings. twenty-three. cismale. he/him. | muse 4b. ] levon by elton john just came on the radio and it made me think of august ferland. they’ve been in sundance for their whole life and they’re currently an administrative assistant. if you’re looking for them, try by the sheriff’s office, locals say they’re there a lot. [ r. she/them. 20. est. ]

SUBPLOT       if someone asked who sundance’s bad seed is, most people would say muse 4a. always getting in trouble for one reason or another, muse 4a has just never been one to follow rules. maybe that’s why muse 4b, the sheriffs child, is so drawn to them. muse 4a and muse 4b have been hooking up pretty casually, but muse 4b’s soft nature is causing them to fall for sundance’s baddest seed while muse 4a is only interested in hooking up. will muse 4a break muse 4b's heart? what would the sheriff say if they found out?

nonsensical ramblings    

the world is black and white as a child. a young august planted in front of one static plagued television, soaking up the world of cops and robbers. a mop of blond hair and a missing front tooth, beaming proudly “ MY FATHER’S THE SHERIFF “ , a hero in the boy’s mind. black & white. good versus bad.

then comes middle school, high school, and everything thereafter. it’s living under a microscope. small-town living & dealing out the law don’t tend to equate to a private life. sometimes august knows people’s business before they do —- other times the positions are reversed. it wasn’t the easiest of days, far from the romanticized lifestyle often portrayed on screen. the chill of cold shoulders never fades over the years. children told to steer clear of the ferland boy lest they find themselves under sundance’s watchful eye. the SHERIFF’S SON, an undesired spotlight.  as the years come and go, he wonders how he once wore that title with pride.

they made an angel of him. almost golden. of course, the teenage years are a rocky patch for anyone. the spark of rebellion, even he wasn’t immune. eighteen and sneaking out with his father’s pistol, shooting cans and bottles --- until he puts one single bullet through a neighbor’s window. that summer spent wasting away under a scorching sun, completing mundane tasks to earn enough to pay for the replacements. it’s out of character for him, but they write it off as a minor scare --- a teenager. no one was hurt, so all’s well that ends well. right ?

he tires of daily life. the yearning for something more never dies, it just lays dormant. only rarely given a breath of life. he grows exhausted of the endless pestering and gossip tucked in church pews. of the polite smiles and polished image. ‘ when will you settle down ? find a nice girl ? are you going to take over the station ? look at how much you’ve grown. ‘twenty-three years too long in sundance.

he knew the names before he saw them in ink at the station. his father’s endless rants, the population that put grey in his hair. miscreants, that august was explicitly told never to associate with. words that fell on deaf ears and then he goes the extra mile. he can’t help but feel a hint of shame, but never enough for him to put a stop to the sneaking. the town’s bad seed --- the sheriff’s greatest adversary and the cause of most, if not all, of his migraines. then there was august, like a moth to an open flame. it must have been some ultimate form of karma when he realizes something’s changed. the rules of the game aren’t so simple anymore, there’s more at stake. just like that, he’s damned them all. the heart wants what it wants, and now he’s cast as the fool. play with fire, get burned.

1% more brainpower used here       ( background broken down simply )

his aesthetic is that feeling you get when all your extended family ask about your dating life at the family barbecue. vague ??? maybe so, but it triggers something in me.

he’s dumb, and a tad naive lbh, but this is august.. the sheriff’s son if that hasn’t become,,, really obvious. in the brief readings i did beforehand, it seems like small-town sheriffs can sometimes have a bit of a spotlight on themselves and their family so i kind of envisioned him as being borderline lonely in his youth due to the fact people don’t want to find themselves under the microscope by being friends with the sheriff/’s family.  i think the whole sheriff thing has been a big,,, oof in his life. there are probably places he can’t go because his dad arrested the cook in the back or things along those lines.

he’s bored. he has a wifi connection. if his family didn’t think he wasn’t going to get glimpses of the outside world and want to get the fuck out of dodge then idk my dude.

he works as an administrative assistant at the station,, so he’s mainly handling the paperwork and stuff, but id imagine he's a bit of a jack of all trades in the field. takes calls, but also probably gets sent out for the really shitty jobs like the old lady who calls ten times a day for nothing, or that she’s getting calls from scammers :))) but he ain’t going out arresting anyone or doing anything serious. just the “my cat’s in a tree” bs and getting coffee.

in the public eye, he’s probably a real golden child. volunteering, going to church, helping out wherever he can. does he have a genuine interest in any of that ? absolutely not. but it reflects well on his family and on himself. he has a reputation to upkeep. he only went up to high school education-wise, and in a town that probably isn’t too fast crime wise, he has enough free time to be active in the community.

i dont know what suffers more his brain or his heart

n sync vc: bi bi bi

before my dumbass forgets, he does have a good relationship with his parents,,, when he’s not being a fucking moron. follow your heart?? not good advice for him. his mom is currently abroad. aug probably gets his desire to run from her, she’s currently teaching english abroad. he’s v proud of her tyvm. his dad?? yeah. i mean obvs aug isnt very honest about EVERYTHING. he’s gotten good at telling white lies, but he still loves his dad.  he’s also an only child so all eyes on him rIP.

i have a shitty pinterest board for him HERE there's barely anything there but yknow

he’s currently being sized for his clown shoes

thats all folks

[mjalti]

Hello Anna :) I was wondering if you have any advice on dealing with a narcissistic mom? My case is tricky for me bc 1. My dad is abusive to her, so I need to protect 2. She lies and never keeps promises so communication and patience has not made a difference over the years (she undersyands but never changes) 3. I can't distance myself bc she takes it out on my little sister. I'm muslim but none of the islamic things I've researched sound like they even understand parental abuse.

hey sugar pie!

im going to tell you some things you may or may not want to hear but let’s start off with this. you are living in a situation created by two emotionally immature & unavailable adults who refuse to take responsibility that they are hurting their children. you cannot protect these people from who they are and how they are functioning. i know it feels like you have to always save ur family from one crisis or another, but this is not your responsibility and one you should not trick yourself into thinking is. i do not know how old you and your sibling are but you are a child and you need your own development pace.

you need to stop expecting that your mother is going to communicate/learn if she has not by now. she is not YOURS to raise; you are hers. and she is failing in that. in her feelings of failure, she probably finds it easier to mentally check out than she does to be proactive in her life. your father is his own beast. you can only encourage your mother to leave this situation or to reach out to her family and see what they are willing to do to help. in communities, we try to lie to ourselves that everyone married stays married out of happiness and choice but this is often not the case. most people stay married bc of fear. that being said, this is not your responsibility to “fix”, either.

i would suggest you try to limit your time at home but go somewhere positive instead. see if you can take ur sister to the park or a place that’s more conducive to conversations (for example, see if ur parents would be ok taking you to a coffee shop to do ur homework or something where the situation is safer but private) and there you can start conversations with your sibling about what she understands about the situation. “do you think our family is happy? do you want to talk about it with me? how do you feel about what is going on? do you do what our father does to other kids in ur class? are you angry about this?” to see where she is in her development and in her understanding of this scenario.

i would tell you that parental abuse is much more prevalent in every single community than we think it is and we like to pretend it isnt bc we may not see bruises or blood. but the reality is vastly different and we are all doing ourselves a huge disservice by excusing it.

there is this book called “adult children of emotionally immature parents” by lindsay gibson and i highly recommend you take some free time to read through it. if you have a library card, some libraries offer a Hoopla thing where you can check out audio books (one of which is this one) and you can listen to it for a whole month & get some support in the way where you realize that while you are dealing with this situation, you are not alone and you are not the first person to go through it.

i understand your situation where you feel trapped bc you know the “honor” of ur family’s “reputation” is at stake and having that deeply contrasted by what you see happening around you & that is an absolutely valid pain and struggle. there is no easy way to discuss this with many people even in the community bc everyone is so eager to present the best face possible that it feels alienating to be the only one who sees the monster coming out from under the bed.

i hope you know that you do not deserve this, that it is not BECAUSE of you, that you cannot and it is NOT your responsibility to raise your parents, and i hope you stay in school, get your education, and break the cycle to which you were born. If you can afford some aspect of therapy, and i know what ur thinking rn “yeah right like my parents would ever be cool with me going to a therapist”, but if you can afford some aspect of therapy, there’s places like 7cups.com which is online and free i think. i would encourage you to continue seeking out information about what you are going through and trying to find someone in real life who can help you combat it. but even if you can’t find that person, i hope you can become your own teammate as you find your path out of this. i wish you the best.

[sunshinee-sunflowerr]

When I saw this I was immediately triggered and that’s how I knew I had to share it. Other than the fact that it is important as fuck to share something like this. But the second part of that post almost aligns with what had happened to me with my ex Dan. I have issues with sexual dysfunction and tend to lose feeling down there and that leaves me feeling betrayed by my own body. I feel so worthless and pathetic already as it is when it happens because I’m sensitive and it is humiliating when I start to cry. I don’t even get to like fully enjoy something so intimate because I’m a very passionate person and I love all types of deep connection. And he ruined it. It had stopped being such a beautiful thing for me. The second I asked him to stop and that I had mentioned I wasn’t enjoying it, he became the person I didn’t think he could truly ever be. He laid down on me. Like I’m talking all of his weight was on me, and he whined about how good it felt to stay in me and finish. I felt nothing and everything all at the same time, I wasn’t being heard, I was just a body, and I didn’t matter anymore. This was someone who was stronger than me. This was someone who I loved and straight up disrespected me to the point where I myself are in a traumatic position, I had to literally match his thrusts just so he’d come faster because I knew that was the only safe way to get him off of me. And that was humiliating and violating. I had no other choice. And to this day this man still tries to say he didn’t rape me but SIR WHEN YOU DO SHIT LIKE THAT YOU ARE A FUCKING RAPIST. YOU IGNORED MY PLEAS AND MADE ME FEEL SO UNSAFE AND I FELT LIKE MY BODY WASN’T EVEN FUCKING MINE ANYMORE. YOU GAVE ME PTSD FOR ALL THE OTHER FUCKED UP TIMES THAT I HAD LET SLIDE BECAUSE I FELT COERCED INTO IT. YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DID AND I KNOW WHAT YOU DID. And what had haunted me every time I wanted to go somewhere, I had to take my car. It happened in my car. I had to drive myself after that with cum dripping down my legs. I had to see a flashback every time my mind drifted towards the back. I will never EVER let myself be in that position again. Dan broke me. I’m the one who pulled myself out and I’m still healing.

It was from 2016 and trauma tells no time, I’m lucky I don’t feel the weight of your body still pinning me down during intimate times. I saw you in the faces of whoever was on top of me. I would get panic attacks and cry. You fucking ruined me and my trust and I will ruin you if you ever dare try to come into my life again.

The Relationship Aspect:

Not many people know about the sleep fucking, or when you would take my thumb out of my mouth when I was asleep because I still had some hard time sleeping so I would suck my thumb sometimes and you would replace your it with your dick and then ejaculate down my throat and I'd wake up to such a horrible taste. My inner child does scream for she was only 15-17 and I let it slide because you had so much power over me and I did so much to make you happy even though it didn't make me happy myself. Let's not forget when I wasn't in the mood sometimes so you would turn around away from me with no sound nothing and straight up fell asleep because I said no or that I don't want to have sex with you. And then there were times where you would sexualize me, you would look up my skirt or you would look at my pants and tell me about my panty lines and basically scare me and make feel little. You were constantly pointing them out and laughing, conditioning me even to never wear comfy underwear, I have more thongs than any type of other underwear. And now I'm finally getting used to wearing normal underwear again just because I was felt like someone was doing the same shit that you did to me. I felt grimy. And let's not forget when you would steal my panties and you would bring them home and jerk off in them and cum in them and to top it all off you would bring them back to my house and throw them in my dirty laundry so they can be washed so you can repeat that cycle. And the worst part is that you probably took some before we broke up and I never got them back. Fuck you. How about all those times you never asked if you could cum in me but you still did even though I fucking hated it, and you’d get mad at me when your sheets were ruined because of you the mess you made in me and I still fucking hate it it's only such a rare occasion for me to ever let that happen during any intimate moment now. Also let's not forget your greediness for my photos. My naked photos that you kept to get off to even after we broke up and still demanded more and other shit when I was with someone else it was disgusting.

The Party:

Oh here’s a memory that’s gonna be fucking me soon, once late October arrives I’m going to be thinking about that night I decided to try and most past you. That fucking college party was the biggest gray area that was so painful and smoggy. It was grey because I was still figuring my shit out and mentally screwed up from the actions of you. I'll never forget, how are used to feel guilty and how are used to blame myself for all of this. And I got to a point where we had mutual friends and I just wanted to forget all about it and learn to forgive you. As soon as ready, Matt and I went to that party that Anthony was throwing and you were there, and you had no problem laughing off your drunk ass I front of me about rape jokes. If I hadn't been high and Matt being so drunk we would've left and I remember calling my mom in the hallway crying telling her about that little part of what happened that night. And then later that night you got so fucking drunk, made everybody your babysitter and I still fucking hate myself for the side you brought out even though you caused me so much harm. You brought out my fucking maternal side which I hated because like I said in that moment of time it wasn’t black or white for me, it was grey. It was so fucking gray. And I took care of you that night because you were so fucking drunk, I remember you asking me or saying something about how I hated you. And then later that night I ended up sandwiched between you and Matt, and you decided to touch me through my pants even when I was cuddled up to Matt and I thought maybe there would’ve been some change but in the end you were still assaulting me. I didn’t sleep at all that night, and it sent me backwards, I felt like all of the progress that I had made was gone it was dehumanizing and I threw out those sweatpants and they were brand fucking new and they were Calvin Klein my favorite designer which hurt even more because I used my money to get something I really wanted for comfort and you just stumble in cocked off of what 3 beers? And ruin even the smallest things that could’ve made me more comfortable? Heinous and out right disgustingly disrespectful.

Trauma talk aftermath:

I betrayed myself sleeping with you even after the rape, and you knew so much about me so I couldn't even fucking report it even though I had the proof of you admitting to what you did. But Im always scared because my reputation was at stake and it was so easily corrupted by your lies as it is. I had no choice. You could've easily ruined my life and I wasn't about to let you so I ruined mine but little did I know that you were already ruining mine. And you still haven't taken accountability for your actions and I'm still suffering the consequences of those horrible behaviors that you were still using to this day probably. And I can't even imagine how many other girls like me there must be now.

Here's to all the nightmares that circulate in my head at night still in that feeling of fear of having and experiencing that PTSD kick into hyper drive. And all the ones I've yet to have when I have new partners in my life, because I have nightmares of them doing the same thing that you did to me and it's traumatizing. Because even though I know they are not you for that split second I am terrified of them. And I saw another post about how when sexual assault survivors even get a whiff of the scent of their abuser they are in panic; and I honestly don't blame them. I was at school the other day, and in the air I smell whatever type of detergent was used to fill the air with your scent, I was in panic for a couple minutes looking around trying to figure it out where you were. It's so fucked up that you've had such lasting effects on me like why isn’t hating you and going through all of that trauma shit enough. And I'm so tired of the panic and anxiety attacks that you still bring into my life whether it is indirect or direct.

And looking back now after going off of that and emotional spiel about what you did and how I still feel towards these events today. I realize all the ways how I am not gonna be treated in the future. You saw the light inside of me, and when you stepped into my life that light dimmed within each day that passed that I saw who you were. And it took all of my power away; but I am taking all of that power back and you will never ever use it again and you will never have it in your possession because I know I will forever be a better person and not let you win. And I know that I wasn't a good girlfriend at the time as well but you were also I'm manipulative narcissistic asshole. And I blamed myself for all of the times that I was mad at you and thought I deserved it all. And I deserve none of that shit. It was you that didn’t deserve me and all the love I gave you. All of clothes I bought you, all of the stupid ass Pokémon cards i grabbed for you because I knew it was important to you to collect them, all of the silly $7 cards to go with each thing I gave you. All of the handwritten notes. Helping you match your clothes and fold your shit. Fuck you and for all you have taken from me and didn’t even fucking say sorry or be truly appreciative.

More Trauma Talk 2020-2021 edition:

Consent is so important to me, because it was stolen from me as a child, as a teenager, and as an adult. I want to take a moment to also talk about my second ex-boyfriend named Dan as well how ironic I never thought I'd say I love you Dan ever again. But the first night we hooked up, he was so patient with me which in all honestly is sad but it truly took my breath away with the time that he spent on me making sure I knew that I was safe because he knew that I have been raped. And every once in a while he asked me if I was OK and I thought that was the most amazing thing ever little did I know that that's actually what you're supposed to do and that it's not the bare minimum. And after all of that he still had one of those moments where he traumatized me and put me back into the place where you had put me days before Christmas… which is now a tainted holiday as well as Halloween for me. Thanks a lot.

Wow… fuck this is a lot for anyone let alone me to endure and/or read and I just want to say that felt so fucking good to finally write it all down and speak my truth and let others know that not every sexual assault or rape has to be violent (well it’s violence either way, but you know getting the shit beaten out of you stereotypical type) it can be sweet until it turns sour, it can be public, it can be sneaky, it can be with someone you gained the ability to trust who was so good in the beginning. It can be anyone and that’s the real scary part because I don’t know whose intentions are actually true until they read my stuff and reassure me about how they feel about me. It’s the only way and even then I’m still scared of wanting to be intimate with someone new. It’s another strong reason as to why I am practicing celibacy for a bit.

Finished on 9/20/2021

[betweensceneswriter]

Jimjeran-Chapter 23 : The Storm

Rough winds are coming…

Click Here for the Table of Contents

Previously on Jimjeran - Chapter 22 : Autle Heading to a deserted island!

      After dinner, we set a pandanus mat by the fire, backed up to a large fallen log.  Jamie leaned against the log, and I sat next to him and leaned on his shoulder.

      “How long are we going to be able to stay here for?” I asked, pulling his arm up and around me, cuddling into his warm side.

      “Today’s Saturday, so I’ve arranged for us to be here until Monday.  We’ll head back in the afternoon.  That way I only miss one day of school.”

      “If we’re heading back Monday afternoon, I’m missing Depo Provera day at the clinic,” I said, with some concern.  “I hope there’s not a rash of unintended pregnancies just because the shots are a day late.”

     Jamie looked at me curiously.  “What are you using for birth control?” he asked, tossing another log onto the fire.

      “Oh, I’m not,” I said, with a sudden surge of embarrassment. Honestly, the thought hadn’t even crossed my mind.  With Jamie being a virgin, I figured we didn’t need to use condoms for STD protection, and I hadn’t used any other form of birth control for years.

     Jamie looked surprised, his forehead wrinkling.  “Dinna ye think that’s something we should decide together—when we’re planning to have children?” he asked slowly.  “I ken yer older than me, so ye might want to try right away, but I thought we’d perhaps have some time as just the two of us.”

      “Don’t worry about it, Jamie,” I said reassuringly. “I’m almost positive we won’t get pregnant without choosing to.” I clarified, “At least not without help.  I’m infertile.”

      “What do ye mean by that?” Jamie asked, staring at me as he randomly poked at a flaming piece of wood with a stick.

      “Frank and I didn’t use birth control once we were engaged, and in five years we never got pregnant.  They call it infertility if you don’t get pregnant after a year of unprotected sex.  So I’ll have to do some sort of medical testing or procedures, or else I probably won’t be able to get pregnant at all.”

     Jamie was clenching his jaw.  I wasn’t certain why, until he spoke.  “Now that’s also something that ye might have found important to tell me, Ripālle.  Did ye not think that I might want to ken that—whether we could have children or no?”

      “Really?” I said sarcastically.  I sat up and scooted slightly away from him on the mat.  “I can’t believe that in our two-day engagement, we didn’t have the chance to discuss birth control, fertility, or children!”  I exclaimed irritably.  “I was too busy making sure my friend didn’t get moved to another island or sent back to Scotland.”

      “Aye, but Ripālle, children,” said Jamie, eying me seriously.  “That’s a huge part of the reason for marriage.”

      “What exactly do you mean by that?” I asked. Jamie wasn’t yet familiar with my “calm before the storm” tell, so he probably thought my question was a question rather than a warning.

      “Just that marriage sets up a supportive, committed environment for raising children.”  Jamie reached gently for my hand, but I pretended not to notice him.

      “Is that the only reason people should get married?” I asked, deadly calm.

      “No, but it’s probably the most important one,” Jamie answered innocently.

     Somehow, that was the last straw. I drilled holes into Jamie with my eyes. “Oh, is that what you think, asshole?  Frank thought that too, I guess, because I never got pregnant, so he never married me.  I thought maybe you were better than that.  I guess I was wrong.  Selfish bastard,” I muttered.

      “Selfish? And bastard?” he said, rubbing his forehead with a confused expression on his face.  “How can ye say that to me, Ripālle?  Ye know I’ve been beyond kind and generous wi’ ye. I just happen to think that whether or not my wife is on birth control might be my business, too.”

       What was this kid’s problem?  What the heck was I thinking getting married so fast?  All of a sudden, I felt ridiculously foolish.  I stood up and walked to the other side of the fire. Jamie sat there, shirtless and barefoot, wearing swim trunks, his red hair in thick ringlets, messy from swimming in salt water.  Yes, he was a damn fine specimen of manhood, but he was my little brother’s age.  I was a grown-ass woman, and this child was trying to tell me what I should and should not be doing with my own body.

       I started pacing back and forth.  “What the hell was I thinking?  Frank, the man I was with and loved for seven years, breaks up with me because I was foolish enough to travel halfway around the world without him, and I marry an infant?  Why would I even want to have a baby with you, Jamie?  You’re still practically a child!“

      "Says the woman who’s being irresponsible about birth control,” Jamie said condescendingly.  “And yer a nurse, too, Claire!  It seems to me that whether or not you and Frank weren’t able to have children, the fault might be his, not yers.  And just because yer ex wasna man enough to get ye pregnant doesna mean I willna be able to.” 

      He was smiling.   Smiling as he questioned my knowledge of myself and my profession.  Smiling as he insulted Frank.

    “You think you’re more of a man than Frank?  Do you think marriage makes you a man?  Did sticking your dick in me make you a man?  Is that what you think?  All it takes to be a man is having a warm place to plunge his cock, and once he’s done that, a warm place to incubate his spawn?  You’re such a fucking misogynist.”

gif from @voyagersassenach

     “You are such a foul-mouthed wench!”  Jamie’s face was flushing, his volume increasing.  “Stop talking to me like that!  I haven’t forced anything on you.  Yer the one who suggested marriage.  And I risked my reputation to let you stay with me that night when that bastard Frank broke up with you…and then I was willing to marry ye to save you from being sent home!”

      “Let me stay with you?” I exclaimed, glaring at him.  “Willing to marry me?  You know you wanted me. You’ve been trying to seduce me since you first met me.  Late nights, putting your arms around me—taking off your shirt when I’m around.  You would use any excuse to get in my pants.  And lucky you, it worked!" 

      “Oh, dinna be such an icy bitch,” said Jamie, looking at me derisively. "I wouldna have had to try very hard if I’d wanted to seduce ye.  I could see you eyeing me whenever you were around me.  Yer the horny little slut—the one who came to me in the middle of the night in some scanty getup, asking to sleep in my bed wi’ me all night, rubbing yer round arse against me. Yer the one who touched ME first, putting yer hand on my cock, going down on me…putting yer mouth on me…in the school!”

      “I am not a slut,” I seethed.  “I did it once we were engaged.  I did it because I thought you loved me.  To make you feel good.  To make you happy.  Well, I hope you’re happy, you little shit.”

     I thrust my feet into my flip-flops, grabbed my book from the tent, and stomped off (as loudly as one can stomp in rubber soled flip-flops on shifting coral rock).  It didn’t look that fierce to be stomping off in a bikini, either, I assumed.  However, I headed toward the hammocks on the ocean side, leaving Jamie looking flabbergasted.

     I felt furious and embarrassed at the same time, but I climbed into the hammock, and tried to read through my angry tears.  Unfortunately, I was so upset, I found reading impossible.  I closed my eyes and relived the argument in my mind, trying to remember how it had started and why it had gotten so bad so fast.   I didn’t like the way this felt, but it also made me furious that the only thing I wanted right now was for Jamie to hold me.  I wasn’t going to go to him, though. 

     The thing was, Jamie was right.  I didn’t know if I was the infertile one.  Frank and I had never been tested.  I should have made arrangements for some sort of birth control, or at least brought along the box of condoms for us to use until I could give myself a Depo shot.  And he hadn’t tried to seduce me.  He’d wanted me, but he’d never touched me inappropriately.  He’d only been an emotional support and a friend. But his words were so cruel.  How could he talk to me like that?

     I began to feel it, first, a marked chill in the air.  My bikini felt completely insufficient.  The breeze began to pick up, blowing the palm fronds toward the south.  Around me a few large fronds actually fell to the ground, as well as a coconut or two.  I started to wonder if it was safe where I was.  I slipped out of the hammock and walked further out onto the beach.  As I gazed to the north, I could see a wall of dark clouds moving in our direction.  Rain.  Moving fast enough that I could see its approach.

      Storms in the Marshall Islands were impressive and generally brief.  Clouds would approach, drop their payload, and move on.  They often came from the north and moved south, which meant that from Ine, we could see their approach across the iar.  But Autle was an East-West facing island, and it had been difficult to see approaching weather.

     As angry as I was, I didn’t want to be stuck outside in a downpour, so I grabbed my book and headed back to our camp.

     Jamie was rushing around, staking down the corners of the tent as well as a tarp over our little food supply area.  He started tying the strings of the rain fly out to the bases of four coconut palms, and I went inside the tent and zipped up all the windows, throwing on a dress over my bikini.  Then I went outside and pulled our towels off the laundry line, taking another look around the campsite before heading into the confines of our tent.

     We made it inside just in time.  The rain was just beginning to reach us, rapidly tapping on the rain fly.  The wind whipped the sides of the tent around, but so far we were safe and dry. There was really no place to sit, just the air mattress in the middle of the tent.  Jamie was looking at me, but I didn’t meet his gaze.  I lay on my side on the mattress, facing away from him.  When Jamie joined me on the bed, his solid bulk weighed down the bed so that I rolled toward him.  I hooked my leg over my side of the bed to keep myself from touching him, and scooched forward until I was nearly hanging off the edge. 

     After a while, under the guise of changing positions to be more comfortable, I rolled over, but used my book to block my vision of his face.  Jamie didn’t have a book with him.  He was just staring at the tent ceiling.  He sighed audibly a couple of times.

      “Claire,” he said finally.  “I’m so sorry.  My da would never have called my ma any of those words, no matter how angry he was.  It was wrong of me.  Will you forgive me?”

     I took the book from between us and looked at his face.  His nose was red.  His eyelashes were wet.  Jamie was crying.  It broke my heart.  I really hadn’t felt so strongly about anyone in a long time, such a deep desire to be with someone, not even Frank.

     “Yes,” I said.  “You weren’t wrong.  I should probably be using birth control.”

     “Stop,” said Jamie.  “I was an asshole, and I’m trying to apologize.”

     “But, Jamie,” I said, tears filling my own eyes.  “I’m sorry for being so horrible.  You aren’t any of the things I called you.  Can you forgive me?”

     Jamie pulled me to his chest.  “Goodness, Ripālle, I already forgave you.”  I sobbed against his chest, tears dripping onto his chest hair.

     “I think you need a shirt on,” I quavered.  “There’s no place to wipe my eyes.”  Jamie pulled up the sheet from underneath us and wiped my cheeks.

     “Claire, talk to me,” he said, concern on his face.  “I mentioned birth control, and something snapped.  What is it?”

     “I didn’t always know what I wanted to be when I grew up,” I sniffled.  “But I always knew I wanted to be a mom.  I was great with kids; babysat all the time.  That’s why I stopped using birth control when I graduated.  I wanted kids, and it was fine with me if they came anytime.  As year after year went by, any time my period was late, I’d get excited.  But it was never anything.”

      “Hmm,” Jamie grunted.  “So for me to bring up birth control, it wasn’t just me asking about birth control.  It was me reminding you about infertility.” 

     I nodded. “That’s the first thing Frank brought up when I said I wanted to come out here, you know,” I said.  “He reminded me that I wasn’t going to get any more fertile with time.  Like, if I wanted to be a mom, I shouldn’t even be going out here.”

     “And you also said,” Jamie added, “That ye felt like Frank would have married ye if you got pregnant?”

     “It’s silly,” I said, “But I’m positive he would have.  It felt like somehow it was my fault that he never married me.”

      Jamie kissed me on the forehead.  “Well, I married ye, Claire, and I am glad you are my wife, whether or no we ever have children.”  I rolled over, and snuggled in the curve of his body, as he stroked my hair.  The wind was howling outside, and rain was pelting the tent with ferocity, but I felt safe.

      “And there are good things,” Jamie offered.  “If you never have babies, I’ll never have to share your breasts,” he said, cupping and stroking the part in question with his hand.  “I feel rather selfish about them, already.  Can’t imagine watching a bairn suckle you and not wanting to do it myself.”

      “Gross,” I grumbled, and Jamie chuckled.

      “Ripālle,” he said.  “Will ye look at me, please?”  I rolled over and met his eyes.  “I love you, Claire.  I wanted to marry ye.  And I was shamelessly trying, not to seduce ye, exactly, but to get as close as I could to ye ever since ye came to Arno.”

      “Well, I’ve not exactly been a nun, either,” I said.  Jamie grinned at my Catholic reference.

     “But I dinna want us to ever call each other names, Ripālle.  Anger is fine.  But evil names and bad words—that’s hatred.”

      “I agree,” I said.  “I’m sorry.  You’re right—we should only call each other names that are affectionate.  So, c’mere, baby boy,” I said, reaching my hand out to stroke Jamie’s cheek.

      “I dinna much like that name,” he said, making a face. 

      “It doesn’t mean anything bad,” I said, turning over to face him.  “It’s ironic because you’re big and you make me feel safe.  Why does it offend you?” I asked teasingly.  “Because you’re younger than me?”  Jamie’s expression told me that was a big part of it.  “Because if I tell you to do something, you’ll obey me?”  He grinned.  “Because you’d curl up inside me if you could, or because you like to suckle at my breasts?”

     He frowned, with a little twinkle in his eye.  “All of those might be true.  Still dinna like it,” he said.

      “Seems to me you’ve got a double standard,” I responded, tracing his jawline with my finger, “Your name for me means selfish white person.  I hated it at first; now nothing gets me hotter than you saying, ‘Itok, Ripālle,’ in that husky voice of yours.”

     Jamie’s eyes twinkled.  “Does it, now?”  He looked at me through hooded eyes, his lips twisting teasingly.  Realizing what I’d just revealed, I rolled away from him.  Jamie pushed himself up off the bed, stood up, and reached his hand out to me.  “Itok, Ripālle.” I rolled my eyes, sighed, and put my hand in his.

      “C’mon, Mommy,” he said, gazing at me intently.  “Let’s get your clothes off.”

      “Now that’s nasty,” I groaned laughingly. 

      “Is it?” he asked innocently.  “I dinna ken.  But I do know you got me turned on with all that talk about suckling and being inside you.  I think I know what we’re going to be doing soon.”

      “Dammit, Jamie,” I said, a warm flush spreading through my abdomen.  “I was going to still be mad at you.  You’re not supposed to be able to turn me on like that!”

And though I didn’t take it, this picture is actually a storm on Arno—

so incredibly powerful and threatening!  Imagine seeing that moving toward you!

On to Chapter 24 : The Drop Off

It’s getting deep…

[secretagentspydetectiveninja]

The Misadventures of Prince Kim - chapter 56

(It’s past midnight here in the UK therefore it’s officially the weekend therefore I’m allowed to post a new chapter lol)

Teensy bit spoilery for season 2? Nothing important though

Also on AO3 as always, though it’s so long it’ll probably take you like 12 years to read through from the beginning if you like reading about Kim being an idiot

The summer holidays began a few days later. Sabrina, unable to return to her own war-torn country out of safety concerns, stayed with Chloé instead. Marinette took her new pet cat with her on the long journey to Cheng, eagerly waiting to reunite with Adrien again. Kim, Max and Alix all went by ocean liner to the northern port before heading off in separate directions.

Travelling alone felt unusual for Kim now. Of course, being a prince, there were plenty of attendants leading the way and showing him where to go, porters carrying his luggage, everything he needed. But taking an aeroplane on his own felt oddly lonely. He was used to travelling with his friends these days.

Once he landed at the airport in Nubia he was taken by limousine to the Rolling Hills Palace, as it was known, being on top of a hill by the side of the Nile. It was just as grand and spectacular as the palaces belonging to Max and Alix – was everywhere in this part of the world so extravagant? The walls were painted white to keep the inside cool, as usual, which Kim was thankful for. Having been at school up north for so long, he had practically forgotten what true heat felt like.

Queen Sol was waiting to greet him at the entrance. “Prince Kim! It’s so good to see you again! Come in, come in, you must be tired from your long journey.”

“Um, I’m alright,” he said, before wanting to smack himself in the head. He was talking to a queen here! He should say something formal and polite!

Queen Sol, however, did not seem to care. She simply smiled at him and said, “I should have known. Someone used to athletic activity wouldn’t be tired out by a simple plane and car ride, would they?” She laughed all of a sudden. “By the way, your reply to my letter was hilarious! Much more amusing than any other reply I received! You needn’t have sent the apology, though that was kind of you.”

Kim blushed, not daring to say anything. She really hadn’t minded his stupid letter?

“Anyway, please do follow me, I’ll take you to your quarters directly.”

She led him inside the palace. He followed her down several pretty-looking corridors before arriving in his allocated room. The porters carried his luggage in, then were instructed to leave for a moment.

“I know you have only just arrived and would probably want a tour of the place above all else,” Sol said, sounding more serious all of a sudden, “but there is something I must first discuss with you that cannot wait. Your application to join the International Alliance.”

Oh yes, that thing. Kim gulped. He had kind of forgotten about it, too busy fretting about the crocodile he was going to have to meet at some point.

“You’ve already filled out all the paperwork during your last holidays, which is excellent,” she continued. “It has been sent here and is being processed as we speak. Once that’s all sorted, the decision will be put to a vote amongst all the leaders or ambassadors of each country in the International Alliance.”

A vote? Oh boy…

Sol seemed to sense his unease, putting a hand on his shoulder and looking down at him with a smile. “It’ll be alright. The results will be in on 1st September, which I know is when you will start your final school year, so I’ll make sure to let you know by telephone or letter what the outcome is. I’m sure it’ll be positive.”

“Thanks,” he said, aware that he hadn’t said much at all so far. Thinking about serious things like this was making him nervous, though.

“Your TV interview in the spring did wonders for your international popularity levels. As long as you continue to impress other leaders like this, I see no reason why you shouldn’t get an overwhelming majority in the vote. Lê Chiến will be part of the International Alliance before you know it!”

As long as he continued to impress other leaders? Well, considering his reputation of being annoying and reckless, there was no way that was going to last. Being charismatic on TV was one thing. Being charismatic in person was entirely another! This already wasn’t boding well…

“Have faith in yourself,” Queen Sol was saying now, almost like she could read his thoughts. “Your friends will support you. I’ll support you too. You’re very young, so even if you do make mistakes, no one will think worse of you for it. However, that being said…”

She paused for a moment, seemingly trying to figure out how to phrase whatever she was about to say next.

“Though you may be young, I don’t believe it’s right to hide from you the seriousness of your situation. You deserve to know the truth. And the truth is that your life may be in danger.”

Kim knew that already. And he really, really did not feel like being reminded of it.

“It is through no fault of your own. The simple fact is that you are heir to the throne of your country, and Emperor Gabriel is looking for any excuse to start a war and take over. You need to be careful. I’m not saying it’s certain that he could send assassins, but it is seeming likely at this point. Part of the reason I invited you here for the holidays is so that I can protect you from that, if he were cruel enough to do such a thing.”

She didn’t know. She didn’t know about the poisoned chocolates. True, hardly anyone knew about that, but still. The way she was talking, as if sending assassins was a nightmare come true, something to be protected against at all costs…

Kim was surprised to feel his eyes burning. But no – he couldn’t cry here, in front of a queen, in front of the leader of the entire International Alliance! He had to act like a grown-up prince now, not some little kid who cried at the thought of death! He looked down at the floor and willed himself to grow a backbone already.

“Are you alright?” Queen Sol asked, her grip on his shoulder tightening. “I’m sorry I brought up such a serious topic the moment you arrived. I thought it would be best to get it out of the way as soon as possible so that you could enjoy the rest of your holiday here without interruption.”

“I’m fine,” Kim tried to say, but his voice cracked a little.

“Are you worried about assassination attempts? It’s an understandable fear, don’t worry, you have every right to be afraid. You will be safe here though, I assure you. No one should ever have to go through having someone else out to kill them.”

But he had gone through that! It really had happened. Emperor Gabriel was actually, seriously, trying to kill him. A total stranger truly wanted him dead. And the proof was in the chocolate.

Queen Sol was silent for a few seconds, before bending down a little and looking right at his face in concern. “You… you already know all this, don’t you?”

He just nodded, knowing that if he spoke then he would start crying for real.

“You already know. Is it because… you’ve already been through this? Has there been an attempt on your life?”

He nodded again. He really wasn’t supposed to tell anyone about that, but right now he didn’t care. As much as he didn’t want to admit it, he was scared. Being here in this unfamiliar kingdom, his friends far away, it made all his problems seem a thousand times bigger.

Death… war… it wasn’t even just a personal issue. If he died, the Agreste Empire would attack his kingdom. His life was the one thing keeping millions of people safe. There was so much more at stake here than just the life of some idiot 17-year-old.

“So someone has already tried to assassinate you and you survived it…”

Kim wiped a tear off his face. Sol’s voice had gone softer now, and it was reminding him oddly of his grandmother, of all people. He hadn’t seen his grandmother in so long now… and he might never get to again…

“Oh, you poor boy, come here…”

The next thing he knew, he had been wrapped in a hug. Something about it was… different. It wasn’t like he didn’t get hugs these days, after all, he had his close friends at school. But Queen Sol was one of the few people he knew who were taller than him, and there was the fact that this wasn’t a friendship hug – it was a protective hug.

The kind of hug his grandmother used to give him…

The tears were rolling before he could stop them. He didn’t feel like a prince, the important heir to the throne of a country – he just felt like a scared little kid! He didn’t want to die. It was too soon. He was too young, it couldn’t end like this. But there was a very real chance that it would, and Queen Sol knew it.

“Everything is going to be okay,” she said, her voice soothing, yet firm. “I swear it. You don’t deserve to be put into this cruel, cruel situation. Every single member of the International Alliance will do our best to keep you safe. Please know that there are far more people on your side than against you. And if you ever need anything, anything at all, you can ask me. I will provide it.”

She was just so nice. The queen of a rich, powerful country, in charge of some of the most influential nations in the world, who could do anything she wanted. And here she was personally taking care of some fugitive kid from a distant country who she hardly even knew.

Somehow, her kind words were enough to calm him down a little. At least enough to stop crying. He still didn’t trust himself to speak, instead just letting himself be hugged by the nicest queen in the world and reminding himself that if he survived one assassination attempt, then surely he could survive more. Maybe. It was at least a thought to hold onto.

After what felt like a few minutes, Sol stepped back and put both hands on his shoulders, frowning at him. “You are very brave, Kim. You’ve done very well to get this far. Now, you don’t need to give me details, but please tell me – do you have any way of protecting yourself from assassins while at school? If not, something can be arranged.”

“I’ve already got someone,” he said quietly. Princess Alya had been doing an excellent job so far. He trusted her a lot.

“I’m glad to hear that. You really are doing a very good job, alright? None of the things happening to you are your fault. You’re going to go far, I can just tell.”

His mood was lifting ever so slightly. Sol just knew exactly what to say to make him feel better, didn’t she?

“Anyway,” she said, smiling again now, “I think that’s enough of all this. While you’re here I want you to forget all about anything stressful, and just have a good time. I’ll be arranging some fun activities for your stay. You’ll also get to meet Penny and Jagged once they return from their tour in Atlantica soon, and you’ll be able to meet up with your friends at the wedding. I hope these few months will be fun for you!”

Kim allowed himself to smile a little too. “Thanks.”

“You are very welcome. I’ll leave you alone now so you can make yourself at home – do let the porters know if you need a hand unpacking. I’ll send someone to fetch you for dinner, after which you can have a tour of the palace. Is that alright?”

“Yes, thank you.”

She chuckled a little. “You really are an interesting person, you know? So polite right now, like you were at the conference meeting back in the winter. So very different to how you were during your lacrosse match.”

The lacrosse match! Kim had completely forgotten that Queen Sol had been there watching that trainwreck. How embarrassing.

“For the record, I’m not usually as gloomy and serious as I was just now,” she said. “Feel free to treat me as a ‘cool aunty’ or something. That’s what your friend Alix does.”

Yeah, well Alix was crazy and everyone knew it. Still, it would probably be nice to see the more humorous side of Sol. If she could watch that ill-fated lacrosse match without thinking worse of Kim for it, then she had to be a cool person.

“I guess I’ll do that too then,” Kim said. “Thanks, Your Majesty.”

“If you really want to call me that then I won’t stop you, but it does sound a bit overly formal. Feel free to call me Sol, or Aunt Sol, or whatever you want, really. Within reason, of course. Oh, and just one more thing before I go!” She grinned suddenly, looking far less royal. “Is it true you love challenges and dares?”

Oh shoot, even she knew about that? “Um… yeah…”

“Then I certainly have some great ideas about fun challenges to plan for you this summer. You’re going to have a great time. I must be off and get that sorted right away!”

With that, she turned and left. Kim couldn’t help but believe her – if Queen Sol said things were going to be okay, and that he would have fun this summer, then she must be right.

He hadn’t seen his family in so long, almost two whole years now… but Sol kind of reminded him of them. Maybe with her around, he wouldn’t feel quite so homesick.

Somewhere further to the west, Max was just arriving back home at his own palace. He hadn’t been here since the winter holidays, considering he spent the spring over with Alix. But oddly enough, he didn’t really miss the place that much. And though he had missed his family as always, he wasn’t thinking about that right now. He had something else on his mind. A certain little metal friend that he needed to find.

The press had other ideas, of course. As soon as he arrived there were plenty of reporters loitering around the entrance, eagerly jumping up with their cameras, microphones and notepads when they saw the limo pulling up. Well, it wasn’t like Max hadn’t been expecting it. He never usually stayed away from home for so long, and everyone would want to know about it.

“I will answer a few questions, but then I need to go rest,” he said to them all from beside his numerous bodyguards, on the inner side of the protective fence. It was a lie – he certainly wasn’t going to go rest when he had something much more interesting to be doing. But there was no way anyone would leave him alone otherwise.

“Your Highness, are you aware that as of recently you have the highest approval rating of any prince in history that this country has had?” was the first question asked to him.

“Yes, I read it in a newspaper on the journey here,” he replied, trying to still sound humble despite how proud he felt about it. His sudden rise in popularity was almost certainly thanks to Kim’s interview back in the spring, that was for certain.

And if the journalists were asking about that, then there was no doubt what the next questions would be about…

“Is it true that the reason you did not return home during the spring holidays is because you were spending time with Prince Kim? It has already been noted that you partook in a dance with him at the Peace Ball last year, and took him on a city tour, and you seem very close with him indeed – can we get an official statement on that?”

Oh, stupid nosy reporters. Max had known they were going to ask him about his “friendship” with Kim at some point, he had just hoped it wouldn’t be literally the moment he arrived. It seemed personal privacy was the price to pay of being royalty. And how was he meant to answer? Simply saying “no comment” would do nothing to stop speculation, in fact it would be more likely to have the opposite effect. But he still didn’t want people prying into his and Kim’s relationship!

Taking a deep breath, he said, “Prince Kim hasn’t been home for almost 2 years. The least I could do is keep him company. And as for an ‘official statement’, I think you all know perfectly well I wouldn’t just broadcast my personal life to the entire country whether there was anything significant about it or not. So there really is no point asking.”

There, hopefully that might have placated them a bit. Even if it sounded slightly sarcastic. He looked over the reporters to see that they were all looking rather unhappy, and unhappy reporters were always a bad thing – unhappy reviews and articles led to an unhappy populace. And his approval rating had just gone up to historical levels as well! He couldn’t let that fall!

But how to keep the reporters happy? They wanted a story, and he certainly was not about to open the floodgates to interviews about how he and Kim got together by admitting that it was true. Lying wouldn’t feel right either, even if that was the most sensible decision. No one would fall for it anyway. And he could only avoid the question entirely by giving the reporters something else to write about, some sensational new story that would distract them from this. But what?

Well, there was one thing. But it would probably be a stupid idea to say it right now. A stupid, bad, reckless idea, one that had a very high chance of backfiring, one that was not thought out anywhere near well enough to do on anything other than the spur of the moment.

It was a very Kim idea.

Trying not to sound nervous, Max leaned over the fence railing and said, “However, I know you all want a news story that people will actually be interested in, so there is one thing I’ll finally admit.”

The reporters looked up again, a similar kind of impatient enthusiasm in their eyes as Alya often had when looking for a scoop. Max allowed the thought of Alya, fantastic friend and spymaster supreme, to calm his mind somewhat before wiping his sweaty palms on the side of his shirt and dropping what would surely be the ultimate news story of the year.

“The rumours are true. I’m gay. That is all. Goodbye.”

He barely even heard the triumphant gasps of the reporters, having turned around and headed into the palace the second he had finished speaking. He didn’t even want to think about what he had just done. But striding through the palace, heading towards the basement levels to do what he had been planning to from the start, of course he couldn’t help thinking about it.

It wasn’t like anyone would be particularly surprised. Really, it had been a matter of time. His approval rating was ridiculously high too, so the chances of the commoners for some reason being upset at this were very low indeed. He didn’t really have anything to worry about at all, not even his accepting family, nor the leaders of neighbouring countries who had already chosen the decidedly not straight Queen Sol as head of the International Alliance.

Yet it had still been nerve-wracking. Coming out to an entire country! It was no simple feat.

Be proud of yourself, he thought, walking even faster. Maybe it was best to distract his mind from this for a while, at least until tomorrow morning when this would inevitably be all over the news.

He made his way down to the basements, the areas of the palace that had been dungeons hundreds of years ago. When he was younger he had used one of these rooms as a tech lab back when he had first gained an interest in electronics. He hadn’t been there for a quite a while, nowadays doing all his work back up in his room. But there was something he needed to fetch.

He went all the way to the back of the room where there was a table with a huge, dusty sheet draped over it. Pulling off the sheet, he picked up the little metal figure that had been underneath.

Ah, yes – slightly dusty, but other than that, good as new. Max pressed the power button on it and watched as it whirred into life. Yes, yes, it still seemed to be working, simple as it was. Excellent! Now to take this upstairs and work on it for the next two months. He had promised Kim that he would, after all, and he needed something to put some effort into – not to mention that right now, he needed something to distract his mind from the news story that was undoubtedly being broadcast to every station in the country at this very moment.

And what better distraction was there than making an automaton?

“Good to see you again, Markov,” he said to the little robot in his hands. “Time to give you an upgrade.”

[blogger360ncislarules]

The CW's sci-fi adventure series, Pandora, might've slipped under your radar when its first season premiered in the summer of 2019.

Since then, its high-octane exploits, ambitious story elements, and drop-dead gorgeous cast have attracted an enthusiastic following among viewers looking for entertaining escapism.

With the Season One finale ending with almost as many questions as answers, Season Two, premiering on October 4, promises even more of its trademark complex relationship shenanigans while the team tries to save the universe. No biggie.

Joining Jax, the titular "Pandora", and her established Scooby gang members, Xander and Ralen, are her new roommate Zazie and a surprise (and not exactly welcome) blast from the past, Jett.

Actors Nicole Castillo-Mavromatis and Akshay Kumar spoke with TV Fanatic via Zoom from their on-location shoot in Sofia, Bulgaria and were incredibly open and enthusiastic about their experiences as the newcomers to the cast.

Making a scripted television program during the time of COVID is a wholly new experience for everyone.

Production on Season Two began in Bulgaria on July 24, 2020. Nicole and Akshay flew out from the UK around that date and had to quarantine for four days before being tested and allowed on set.

Throughout the production, everyone who wasn't on camera was masked and anyone new joining them from the UK or US had to quarantine upon arrival. COVID testing was done twice a week.

At the time of our interview, they only had four days of shooting left on the season.

Shooting ten episodes in two months is, in Akshay's words, "MADNESS" and made for a tight-knit core cast and crew who worked extremely hard, grateful for the opportunity to continue to do their jobs.

"Knowing that we're lucky enough to work in a time like this," observed Akshay,"To be able to work abroad and be treated so well and do our jobs in a time when most people we know don't have any work. It really has hyped up the gratitude of working and the joy of working."

As the newest regulars to the show, Nicole and Akshay felt extremely included and appreciated by the cast members returning from Season One.

Asked if Quintana, Dench, or Radcliffe have taken on a leadership role on set, they both felt that all three stars had contributed to the positive morale and energy of the show.

"They've been incredibly welcoming," Akshay asserted,"And not just to us, as series regulars, but to any guest stars we've had for an episode. They've been incredibly welcoming and you just make friends. Every new episode, you make a new friend. Priscilla, Ben, Olly, they're just very much steering that Good Vibes Only sort of feeling."

Nicole agreed. "The Good Vibes Fam. But not only just them. I think everyone from Season One -- Noah (Huntley) and Vikash (Bhai) -- just everyone who came back from Season One has been super welcoming to all of the NOOBS -- me! It feels so much like a family, it's crazy how much I feel we all get along. It's wonderful."

Speaking about their characters, Nicole and Akshay were both excited for audiences to learn about Zazie and Jett who start out the season as a new-ish romantic duo.

In a small-world twist, the actors discovered when they met and started working together in Bulgaria that they actually lived only twenty-five minutes away from each other in East London.

Nicole came into the Pandora-verse initially a total novice. After booking the role for Season 2, she went back an binged the first season for research. As Pandora Season 1 didn't even air in the UK until lockdown began this year, she really hit the ground running.

Zazie, being completely new to the show, is a wild card. She takes the place (literally, since she's Jax's roommate) of Delaney Pilar who decided at the end of Season One to hang out with Atria Nine on Adar rather than return to the Fleet Academy.

Asked how Zazie contrasts with Delaney who came from an extremely privileged background and had been implanted with a huge amount of tech, allowing her brain to access and hack -- and, unfortunately, made her vulnerable to being hacked by -- the datastream, Nicole was affectionate about her character's personality.

"I would say she is just a really bubbly, cool, fun 'chick'! She just wants to be liked. She wants some friends. She is a bit of a bookworm but she's not super smart so she does have to study, I feel, a bit more than everyone else."

But what's her superpower? Nicole was cagily vague about what's in store for Zazie.

"There are some twists and turns in her storyline. There will be some things that you find out. But, all in all, she's very wholesome, I would say."

On the initial similarity between Zazie and last season's character, Atria Nine, in that they both exude an aura of sunshiney optimism, Nicole could see how the characters compare that way but felt that Zazie brings a bit more spunk to the party.

"And there's more spunk to come," Akshay promised. "An abundance of spunk."

While Zazie begins the season based in the Academy, enmeshed in the day-to-day interactions between characters, she does get roped into the space adventures too.

"As the season goes on, she takes a much more active role in that saving the universe plotline."

Akshay, in contrast, had a bit more experience with life at the Earth Command Fleet Academy, having guest starred on an episode in Season 1 before being tapped to return as a series regular this season.

Jett was not one of the good guys when he appeared on Pandora Season 1 Episode 6.

After Delaney's implants were hacked while she slept, resulting in her walking into the packed Academy lounge completely naked, Jett made it his business to post holo-nudes of her all over the datastream as retaliation for a romantic rejection.

As he became a lead suspect in the hacker investigation, it was revealed that his reputation as a tech-head was a sham.

When Jett makes his entrance on the Season 2 premiere, he is met with understandable hostility from Jax and Ralen.

Despite his contrite apology and promise to do better, his behaviour throughout the episode doesn't do a whole lot to redeem the character.

(Total disclosure: I might've described the character as a total ass off the top of the interview.)

"He thinks he's doing great," Akshay revealed,"but he's really not. He's just digging his own grave."

While it's clearly going to be a steep uphill climb for the character to prove himself trustworthy, Akshay explained his approach.

"When Mark Altman, our showrunner, wanted me back, I thought that the only way that Jett could come back was on a sort of path to redemption but he couldn't come back as this sort of born-again saint. I thought he would try to redeem himself in the only way he knows how.

"For me, it would be kind of weird if he came back as like a brand-new character with a brand new set of ethics. His foundational personality traits -- his flirtiness, ["cheeky, charming behavior" interjected Nicole] -- which can be read as very douchy, I totally agree."

Akshay paused to think on it for moment and added,"That's probably more me than Jett, to be honest."

LOL.

"He is still on this path to redemption and he does get better at redeeming himself, I will say that. He doesn't start very well but he's trying.

"You know, in school, when you try so hard to get someone to like you and you end up just shooting yourself in the foot? That's very much Jett for the first few episodes.

"He grows. He becomes a bit more balanced. He doesn't lose his humor or his cheek which is really nice. We just get to know more about him and why he is the way he is.'

Looking at Season 2 as a long arc, Nicole and Akshay see the show finding its footing as more of a cohesive space adventure.

"I think this season leans more into the sci-fi side of it, the adventure, the high stakes, the heavy action," Nicole confirmed, then qualified it a bit. "But, again, there are romantic scenes and romantic storylines but I definitely feel like they've leaned a lot more into the action of it."

"The action and the bigger threat," Akshay added. "The looming threat that we learned about in Season 1. I think that's definitely much more present. That's definitely more at the forefront, especially of Jax and Xander's characters [decisions].

"What's really great is the emphasis on relationships between characters which is a huge plus. The constant evolution between characters such as Ralen and Jett and where that goes, then Xander and Jax, Zazie and Jett, Zazie and Jax.

"There's so many different webs that intertwine so much more, in a much more human fashion. Friendships are made and broken, then new, unlikely friendships are made.

"All the while, they're all working towards [confronting] the big enemy, the looming threat. So I think that's definitely much more grounded."

Nicole comes to acting from an extensive dance background and while we won't get to see Zazie trot out those skills on-screen this season, she dreams of being able to represent both her natural and nurtured background one day.

"I've always wanted to be able to play a role that kind of represents where I come from, my heritage. Maybe a role that is a Latina. That would be amazing. Just because I feel like I've never really cast in that direction.

"So it would be amazing to play someone of my heritage and 'rep' the heritage. Or as a part of a musical. That would be great."

Wrapping the two wishlist items together, I suggested something like In the Heights, which garnered an enthusiastic response as it's one of her favorite shows.

Akshay's professional credits include roles on films like Star Wars: Episode VIII - The Last Jedi and regular roles on TV series, The Halcyon and Devs. His heart lies with the action-oriented, stunt-heavy roles.

"I love stunt sequences and I wish I had more of that on this show. I get a real kick out of any sort of role that allows me to just feel like a kid again. And for me, the select sequences I have on this show just blow my mind. The amount of fun I have."

Recalling he had recently watched John Wick 3: Parabellum, he expressed his desire to be Keanu Reeves in that role.

"Anything that's teetering on the dangerous and you-may-die sort of edge. I'm a bit Tom Cruise-y like that.... yeah, I could be the British-Indian Tom Cruise. Let's go for that."

For both Nicole and Akshay, the experience of being part of the Pandora family has been nothing short of wonderful.

"It's a dream!" Nicole sang out without hesitation when I asked for their feelings about the show.

"Honestly," Akshay professed,"It's been such a great ride. Everyone here is so lovely, and everyone works so hard."

"It's been such an amazing experience," Nicole added,"I personally feel like I've learned so much being out here and everyone is just beautiful, so lovely, and the crew is wonderful. The cast is really wonderful. All the directors we've worked with. Our D.O.P., Max, and Mark and Steve. Just everyone."

Pandora Season 2 premieres TONIGHT, Sunday, October 4, at 8/7c on The CW.