#i had just not been in the mood lol

[napping-sapphic]

I really do know that physical appearance isn’t everything but i also really hope that one day i get to experience someone i love looking at me and thinking i’m pretty

[sysig]

An eye for a life, unquestionably worth it (Patreon)

[iknowwhereyousnoozeatnight]

this one's for all the yuri enjoyers out there — nsft under cut

meronia event prompt(s): scar

[girlivealwaysbean]

it's not sinking in that today might be the last day in my house and town for many months to come

[hamburgrr]

So it’s kinda rough but I’ve been WAY too busy to draw anything outside of doodles here and there but have Lee and Casey as the dogs from

This video because it amuses me

[icewindandboringhorror]

recent lounging babey images

[sugarsnappeases]

GIVE US QUILLKILLER THOUGHTS!!!!!!

i would be delighted to!!! i’ll try to say things we (@quillkiller and i, we’re conjoined) haven’t said before lol…. please be warned. this post got LONG (lots more under the cut)

so for me the general trajectory of the quillkiller relationship is devotion -> betrayal -> haunting (and the devotion and haunting are sort of synonymous, no? different shapes of the same undying love) so i’ll try to follow that trajectory in this post too

so. Devotion. we’ve said before that a big part of bella’s character is her need to devote herself to something. she’s a follower at her core, and before she meets voldemort, she finds this in rita. rita who’s mean and nasty and genuinely believes she deserves to be worshipped (major god complex). bella who wants to worship her, wants to give her everything, wants to give herself up to rita like an offering, a sacrifice.

and it digs deep into the both of them, this devotion, claws its way into the marrow of their bones until they can’t let each other go. they’re in different hogwarts houses and come from what feels like different worlds but bella’s sneaking into the ravenclaw common room at night, they’re passing notes in class, exchanging looks in the great hall, meeting up in secret nooks and crannies. bella is getting married but rita is the journalist at the wedding, kissing her before she walks down the aisle, sneaking off to fuck in one of the side rooms later. bella sending patronuses like ‘come over’ or just showing up at rita’s flat, clinging onto each other even when they know they probably shouldn’t and that it can’t last and that it’ll have to end at some point, taking as much of each other as they can get bc they know that it can’t be forever and they didn’t even think it would last this long… i imagine them waking up together like this:

and the thing is!! there’s so much love. so so so much love. like even w bella married and everything, that’s never an issue at all. they’re happy, they have fun and they make each other laugh and they love each other so so much and so so well even if they both think that’s it’s ultimately gonna fall apart. and that brings us to Betrayal.

it’s the idea that both of them are selfish and obsessive and cruel but before they’d always been all of these things together. but bc they are these things and bc they’re always pushing each other and challenging each other and making each other more, they’re always, inevitably, gonna cross a line that the other cannot. for rita, this is her article, and for bella, this is her dark mark.

and to me, their respective betrayals happen kinda concurrently, like either one of them could happen first, but they don’t fully fall apart until both of them have happened bc, for example, if the article happened first, bella wouldn’t forgive rita (it’s disloyalty and bella can’t understand or forgive it bc she’s unendingly loyal <- another core bella trait) but bc of the disconnect there, the way they both can’t quite understand how unforgivable what they’ve done is to the other, i don’t think rita would necessarily see a huge issue. like they’ve fought before and it hasn’t been final and if rita called, bella would still show up, ofc she would. and vice versa. if the dark mark debacle happened first, rita can’t forgive her for that (bc no matter how morally reprehensible she is, rita can’t justify or support genocide and doesn’t understand how bella thinks she could), but if bella called, rita would go.

that’s them one betrayal in ^^ (i.e. rita post bella’s mark showing up at lestrange manor bc bella called. or bella post rita’s article showing up at rita’s flat bc she called). and they need both the betrayals to happen to be fully over (and obvs both the betrayals are inevitable bc of who they are and the circumstances they find themselves in even if they’re trying so hard to cling onto each other). i think by the time of both the betrayals, they’re already hanging on by a thread - hanging on so so tight, don’t get me wrong, but things are already falling to pieces, they just haven’t noticed yet, or haven’t let themselves notice yet.

it’s been building and building bc they both want everything, they want to have their cake and eat it too, selfish and hungry and wanting, that eventually they cross they line and it all falls down. they lose their ‘one good thing’ (<- bella says this about rita), they lose the woman that they still love, the only woman they ever have and ever will love, bc they just kept pushing for more:

and it’s both of their faults but they blame each other and hate each other and love each other just the same and they don’t realise that the closest they ever were to everything they ever wanted was when they were together. until later. thus. the Haunting.

and i have a lot of visual aids (quotes) for this part lol. this spans the rest of their lives, and i tend to mostly consider it from rita’s pov bc she’s not in azkaban and a lot more mentally present and also lives a lot longer so i think it’s more tragic for her (bella is also very much tragic but i will say that by the end of her time in azkaban, she’s really not much more than a shell of herself and she would’ve had most of her happy memories (a large part of which are w rita) sapped from her by the dementors and therefore it’s hard to say how much capacity she would’ve had for being haunted, being as, in and of herself, she would’ve been little more than a ghost x)

we’re gonna kinda gloss over everything here bc i have lots to say and this is already so so long but i have quotes that refer to a) rita’s general existence after the break up:

(obvs we're referring to her articles here. and just everything she writes in general. and everything she does. and everything she is.)

b) rita after bella breaks out of azkaban in 1996, and she sees her on the cover of the daily prophet:

and c) basically just rita for the rest of her life. forever. til the day she dies (this quote makes me a little insane...... !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!):

IT IS MY KNIFE AND MY HEART TOO!!!! WHAT THE FUCK!!!!! anyway i'm gonna stop talking here bc i've rambled on for far far too long (although i have more to say if anyone wants... i'll always have more to say about them i think) but for now!! i'll love you and leave you with a few links to posts/fics that i think vaguely encapsulate our quillkiller conception (and by that i mean reccing jen's fics and a couple other things i've said):

life-changing fic 1 (rita writing bellatrix's obituary) | thing i wrote (unsent letter from r to b after azkaban break-out) | life-changing fic 2 (bella visiting rita post-azkaban break-out) | thing i wrote (another kinda quillkiller thesis...) | life-changing microfic (nsfw, that good old bellatrix black devotion)

[roxiusagi]

sorry for saying i will draw more and then playing video games instead uhhhhh my bad ✌️

[moonchild-in-blue]

Oh.

[minijenn]

Fun and slightly depressing fact: before the UF reboot came along I was in a creative slump for most of this year and was a hot minute away from giving up on fic writing entirely bc I had just about lost passion for it. Amazing that the fic I nearly gave up on forever was the thing that dragged me back into hell huh?

[hayyie]

[ 26/1 ] I missed drawing traditionally, so I went with the usual mechanic pens and pastels. I hope that you like it..!

[sysig]

Red Eyes and Evil Time, practically the same thing right (Patreon)

[solradguy]

Having ADHD but only having it just enough to get the like 2 symptoms left out of every conversation about ADHD fills me with an apathy that has no practical solution. Rolling up to the ADHD conversation like "Some days I can't focus and everything pisses me off and the best I can do is lay on the floor with music on and scowl at the ceiling until it stops because if I don't then I'll be mean to other people because I have no patience when I get like that" just makes everyone side-eye you because they immediately jump to the conclusion that you want to commit unspeakable acts of violence.

But a lot of people don't know that this is something people with ADHD can experience. The only time I ever see it mentioned is when I go out of my way to find research on it...

[enevera]

.

[akkivee]

since hiphoppia and h era reformation are connected, i was thinking about what of rinka i’d like backbone to answer/emulate and a song based on these ideals i think would be fire

[adore-gregor]

Lol I keep on doing this, saying I'd come back to tumblr to only disappear again 😂😭