#i had actually planned to begin the series in january

[dovewingkinnie]

Is it possible that Goldie’s Inferno could one day maybe return as an oc story unrelated to fnaf? I always thought it was kind of interesting was looking forward to what it could tell.

maybe, though it would be very very changed goldies inferno was very attached to FNAF so its a bit difficult to turn it original the premise is simple and can be original: guy goes to a very colorful and whimsical hell for his crimes but all of the details would be changed entirely, and the backstory for everything would need to be changed too, so it wouldnt even be identifiable as goldies inferno except for the basic idea of it

[poppadom0912]

Excuses

Warnings: Mentions of fainting, diabetes, canon-typical injuries

Summary: You suffer the consequences just because your teacher thought you were making excuses.

A/N: First fic of 2024!!! I had plans that I was going to post weekly in the new year just like last year but things went downhill. This january and february has had its very good but also really bad moments and even writing this was a struggle. I've found myself in a weird place of wanting to write but struggling and all of a sudden not being able to balance my schoolwork and writing. So I took a lil step back to solely focus on my work but looking at everything now, my fic updates will be much less frequent but hopefully just as or if not, more fun to read.

I feel bad for not saying or posting anything since the new year but I'm here now and hopefully will be more alive. I've got lots planned for you beautiful people, several series and way too many fics in my drafts that I cannot wait for you all to read. This wasn't as long or as juicy as I intended but my brain completely failed me so I hope this is good enough. I initially wanted to post this at the beginning of March but I finished the final editing today so here you go!!

Final note before we start, I have general knowledge about diabetes but that's all from my grandma. I have no idea if it's the same for teenagers so I'm sorry for any mistakes. Happy reading!!

Your biology teacher had been on maternity for three weeks now and you were seriously contemplating life.

Because of the crappy rules surrounding maternity leave, when your teacher refused to return before her three months ended, your school had a supply teacher fill in for her till she came back.

Since day one, you knew you hated her.

It was mid lesson and you knew as soon as you started feeling sluggish that your sugar levels were dropping. Your thoughts were only confirmed when your Dexcom receiver let you know of your decreasing glucose.

This wasn't a usual occurrence. Will and Jay always made sure you had eaten enough and you had the means to maintain the needed glucose levels so that nothing happened.

Alas, you were up late revising and you were stressing about keeping up your good grades. Jay was rushing you out the door because he needed to go to a scene he'd just been called to and Will was out walking Kol and hadn't seen you leave.

In conclusion, it'd been a hot minute since you last ate something.

The school were well aware of your diabetes. It was one of the very important things your brothers stressed them about when you first started.

Most students knew about it actually, having seen your Dexcom and not understanding since a diabetic child apparently wasn't common according to them.

So, when you randomly pulled out a snack from your bag mid class, no one questioned it and instead would make sure you were okay. There'd never been a problem before in school and everyone wanted it to stay that way.

However, this new teacher, Mrs Byrne was apparently completely unaware of your medical condition.

"Y/N. You know the rules about eating in class." She said strictly, pulling away all the attention from the board onto you.

She stopped you in the middle of opening the packet of fruit gummies. You frowned, looking at her confused along with your classmates.

"I have diabetes." You said bluntly, continuing to open the packet. "I don't eat this and I'll pass out."

Mrs Byrne only rolled her eyes, smiling at you condescendingly. "I've heard that excuse hundreds of times, give those to me."

You scoffed at the audacity, refusing to hand over what was yours.

It was when she started walking towards your desk with a pep in her step that the entire class got involved. Their raised voices overlapped, some angrier than others over what was happening.

However, you too were Stubborn alike to your brothers so you kept as firm of a grip of the packet. You turned a blind eye to the anger fuelled cover teacher. You continued to smile as she spewed threats of all sorts.

Due to your frustration and annoyance over the teacher who wanted to take your gummies away, you didn't notice how everything started change; how hard it was to move your eyes and lips, your limbs getting heavier and you thoughts slowly getting muddled up.

Lost in a daze, you were no longer able to fight back when she pulled harder, successfully snatching the small packet out of your hands. It was now that the class got furious, your friends were already up and at your side but now they were verbally attacking the teacher.

Fed up with her petty behaviour, you were going to get up and go to the nurses office who would take care of you but getting out your seat was harder said than done.

With one of your friends help, you weren't too sure who was helping you from your hazy sight that cleared when you blinked too many times.

You were wobbly on your feet, taking slow and hesitant steps towards the front of the classroom but before you could leave, you felt your legs give out and everything went black.

*****

It turned out that supposed crime scene that he was imminently needed at was nothing but a prank by a bunch of college boys resulting in a grumpy Hank putting them in cuffs and having them fined for a very reasonable reason.

That's how the rest of the unit found themselves finishing up paperwork, catching up about life in general as they debated what they were getting for lunch.

Jay was smugly sitting back, eyes flickering between Kevin and Adam who were bickering over something trivial when his phone rung, catching everyone's attention.

They were all so bored and normally when one of their phones went off during work hours, it meant something came up and they were needed.

In interest, everyone turned their heads towards Jay and waited for him to tell them they got a crime scene.

Picking up his phone, Jay's brows furrowed at the number, confused as to why your school was calling him in the middle of the day. They'd only call him if two things happened: You'd gotten in trouble or you got hurt.

"Hello. Is this Y/N Halsteads brother Jay?" A voice he couldn't recognised asked, most likely some lady from the main office.

"Yeah, that's me." Jay confirmed, sitting up in preparation for whatever he was going to be told.

"So sorry to interrupt you sir but Y/N collapsed in class." The lady said with guilt laced in her words. "Your other brother didn't pick up the phone. We called to let you know we had to call the paramedics and they've taken her to Chicago Med."

"Uh yeah." Jay said, collecting his jacket and keys. "Yes, thank you."

Not waiting for a reply, Jay hung up and quickly knocked on Hank's office door frame.

"Sarge, I gotta get Y/N-"

"Go get her. We're done here."

*****

Wanting to pull his hair out, Will rubbed his eyes in frustration, glaring at his patients scans that only confused him further. He was tired and was coming to half way through his twenty four hour shift.

"Dr Halstead- Uh, Dr Rhodes in T4." Maggie stumbled, looking down at her brick and making sure she read it correctly.

"What's wrong?" Will asked, confused as to why Maggie changed her mind which she usually never did.

"It's Y/N."

Now fully awake, Will followed Connor towards the ambulance bay where you were being rolled in. You were groggily sitting up on the stretcher, you hair a mess and a few scratches around your face and hands from when you fell.

"Sylvie, what happened?" Will asked the blonde paramedic while looking you over. He desperately wanted to check you over himself but let Connor do his thing. He really did not need Ms Goodwin on his case today.

"Teachers didn't tell us much but her classmates said she collapsed after not being able to eat." Sylvie relayed the minimal information she knew, shrugging her shoulders when the two doctors looked at her weirdly. "No one would tell us anything more."

"Y/N, it's Connor. Can you hear me kid?" Connor said while pulling out his penlight. He was like another brother to you, his concern just as high. "Can you tell me what happened?"

You groaned, mumbling nonsense with your eyes screwed closed. Your words were mostly unintelligible but Will understood them mere seconds later.

Fixing the problem you complained about, Will turned down the lights and let Connor continue fussing over you.

It didn't take long to find out the cause of your collapse, Will sighing at the news when he read the numbers from your tests.

"I thought she was always on top of her sugar levels." Connor said, closing the room door so you could sleep in peace.

And what he said was completely true but they weren't aware of why you couldn't today specifically of all days.

"She is." Will said, rubbing a hand down his face in frustration. "Maybe her dexcom malfunctioned or something."

Connor hummed, agreeing with his friend.

"Hmm, maybe."

*****

Arriving at Med, Will gave Jay a detailed rundown of everything he new about your medical state but also the events pre your hospital arrival.

Getting a good look at you, holding your hand in his and kissing you on your forehead, Jay was more than happy to leave you in your oldest brothers safe hands while he got to the bottom of this entire ordeal.

He noticed Sylvie was still at Med, Foster mentioning they were running low on a few supplies so they needed some stocking up. Jay took this opportunity to interview the two paramedics and try to get further understanding on this situation that wasn't making much sense to him.

Arriving at your school, Jay had some thoughts in mind but they weren't very concrete and his confidence wasn't as strong as he'd like it to be.

Walking into the school, Jay immediately noticed an entire class sitting and standing around in the corridor waiting in front of the principals office.

One of the girls who had been sitting in a chair had caught sight of Jay, her eyes widening before she smiled, gently nudging the girl next to her and pointing in his direction. The girls reaction was the exact same.

This created a sort of domino effect as the boy next to her noticed Jay and everyone was telling the other of his sudden arrival. The once silent corridor was now beginning to fill with murmurs and whispers, all their eyes glued onto his figure that moved down the corridor, their shocked faces quickly changing into smiles and smirks.

It seems that Jay had a reputation of sorts.

"Why are you making so much noise? What did I just say about talking-"

The principal cut himself off from his scolding when he suddenly noticed Jay's presence, his face blanching as all the pieces clicked into place.

"Detective Halstead! What a surprise, we weren't expecting to see you so soon-"

This time Jay cut him off, not too bothered about his lack manners. "My brothers with Y/N at the hospital so I thought there was no other perfect time."

The principal remained silent.

"Now, why don't you explain to me why my sister fainted under your watch?"

The students behind Jay couldn't help but snicker knowingly.

[icanseethefuture333]

The Astrological Observation of Gen Z, (a series)

Part II 👶🏽🩷:

The birth of Gen Z children👩‍🍼:

Now what is described as a Gen Z baby is different depending on what method you use, but since we are using astrology, we determine that by looking at Pluto. Pluto is one of the slower moving planets and typically lasts in the same sign for over 12 years. In tropical astrology, what all Gen Z babies share is a Sagittarius Pluto (and it is in Scorpio if you fancy Vedic astrology 😎), Which begins in mid to late 1995 and ends in early to mid 2008. Some other placements that are shared for early 2000s babies is a Aquarius Uranus & Aquarius Neptune, While mid to late 2000s babies share a Pisces Uranus & Aquarius Neptune.

The most populated birth years of the 2000s in order were 1. 2000, 2. 2009, 3. 2008, 4. 2007, & 5. 2006. The least populated birth year being 2001. While the amount of births stayed consistent in 2002-2003 with only a slight increase by a million in 2004-2005.

00: 143.01 million

01: 133.88

02: 134.02

03: 134.40

04: 135.23

05: 135.80

06: 136.91

07: 138.56

08: 140.16

09: 141.20

The year 2000 was the start of the 21st century, so parents being excited for the new millennium and having lots of babies in the celebration of the new year makes a lot of sense. If we use January 1st 2000 as an example for a baby's birthday. That would mean that the parents would had to conceive / the mother to get pregnant around in April (9 months). In 1999, Jupiter was in Aries and Taurus was in Saturn. Prince wasn't lying when he said "we gonna party like it's 1999 (all night long)" - because y'all parents were doing the *Raven Symone voice* NASTY 😭. Aries is action oriented and hasty. So I believe the collective during this time actually made new year's resolutions that they could accomplish. I always associate Taurus with fertility, abundance, & pleasure. So when the sign rules over saturn, it creates the need to be focused on security, comfort, & protecting personal possessions. Add a Scorpio Lillith to the mix and yeah... 🥴 The song sums it up pretty well (fun fact it was also released in the year 2000 LMFAO)

Now let's see why there was such a decrease of babies being born in 2001.

Jupiter moves from Aries into Taurus/Gemini, Taurus still remained in Saturn, & then there was a Capricorn Lillith. So things got less hot and heavy 😅 (they got tired out from all that fucking huh LOL 💀). I believe that parents were too nervous to have any more children in this year. Also there was so many earth placements, so I believe there was more of a focus on finances, creating structure, and coming up with ideas/plans for a better future. Parents could of seen how crazy things got (The Y2K crisis, people acting out of fear thinking the world was ending, 9/11, etc) and just decided not to have as much children. The libido or sex drive could of died down for some couples as well. There was a lot of resistance from couples in this year for getting pregnant. Parents were more worried about business. The babies that were born in 2001 were most likely by accident or needed to be under the supervision of a doctor in order to help the parents conceive (also there could of been possible complications during the pregnancy 🤔?). The women were just over it during this year 😭

Now let's talk about the rise of babies being born in 2007-2009 when there was LITERALLY a god damn financial crisis going on 💀! It was so bad it got compared to the great depression and parents were just like "huh... yeah, I think this is a great time to have a baby" 😂. Guess what sign Lilith was during this time...? ("BITCH YOU GUESSED IT! HO! You was right"😈) FUCKING SCORPIO LILITH 💀 with a Virgo Saturn, Sagittarius Jupiter, and then Uranus finally transitioned from Aquarius to Pisces. Soooo it was giving anxious attachment, it's giving "I'm scared but aroused", the parents' idea of a coping method during this time was "let's use a baby as a way to have hope during such troubling times" 😭??? Couples during those years were not thinking clearly at all and with Pisces being the dreamer that she is 🙄... ("you're a dreamer, you dream a lot") as well as Sagittarius tryna act like they're mr. philosophical over here but instead is really just thinking with their dicks. It just made the parents overall act really delusional and they thought having a kid would give them hope for the future (like why would you do that to late Gen Z's and set them up like that omg 😭???). The financial crisis during 2007-2009 was described as: "The collapse of the housing market — fueled by low interest rates, easy credit, insufficient regulation, and toxic subprime mortgages — led to the economic crisis." So overall it was a period of parents only being intimate to try to find comfort in each other while also dealing with anxiety and not being able to see past their own illusions.

[writing-in-the-impala]

Secret Smokes (Part 14)

Pairing: Teacher! Remus Lupin x Reader

Series Summary: When the reader bumps into the new DADA professor on the bridge in Hogwarts she begins to build a friendship with him all thanks to their shared feeling of not belonging and love for muggle cigarettes. Their friendship blooms while they both fight internal battles deciding what is wrong and what is right leading to a lot of fluff, angst, flirting and a rollercoaster of emotions.

Warnings: Swearing, smoking, drinking, teacher-student relationship, angst, jealousy, fluff, smut.

Word Count: 2400

A/N: I haven't had time to proofread this one but I wanted to get it out in celebration of it being Remus's birthday today. Happy Birthday Moony.

 | SERIES MASTER LIST (All chapters) |

Previous Chapter, Part 14, Next Chapter

The trees outside were becoming greener, and the air a bit warmer. Remus and you would even sometimes take walks outside together to enjoy the sunshine, obviously distanced and acting appropriately. Acting appropriately was beginning to drain you as the honeymoon stages of being with Remus began to wear off.

January was filled with the thrill of being together and sneaking around, you got comfortable in February and now it was March. You were entering your third month of being exclusive, but not being anything, spending evenings together but barely ever sleeping in the same bed. No matter how much you enjoyed it you couldn't hide it was all becoming slightly draining. You longed for a date, to go the theatre like Remus once promised, to go for a walk and hold hands. To kiss in a public space.

"Any plans for the weekend?" You asked Remus as you strolled through the grass in the morning on Friday, you asked in the hope of finally going on a date again.

"I have a meeting with some members of the order, apparently there's rumours of activity between death eaters" He kept his hands firmly in his pockets. "What's your plans?" He looked at you with a gentle look of admiration as he spoke.

"I was thinking you could take me around London?" You asked slightly nervously.

"I'm sorry, not this weekend. There's too many people from the order around right now. Besides we shouldn't speak about this in public." His body was closed off as he looked around and spoke in a hush tone, it used to thrill you the secrecy, but it was beginning to hurt.

"When can we? You promised me the theatre." You said and he smiled gently.

"As soon as possible."

"When's that?" You pushed and Remus shook his head. "When it's less risky."

"Fine can I at least come officially meet Sirius?" You asked.

"I would like nothing more,"

"But?" You interrupted

"But, the order operates out of his house, and there's been more meetings recently, it's not safe for us to be hanging out there." He explained.

"What about your cottage? Or is that too risky too?" You tried your luck.

"That's actually a good idea, but," You rolled your eyes at Remus again. "I need time to make it habitable, it's a mess there. I'll go this weekend and depending on the progress soon we can go together." He explained and you nodded satisfied with getting at least somewhere. He looked around before continuing. "Tomorrow, after my meeting I'd love to see you. If that's okay? Although I don't know what time I will be back it would mean a lot to me if you were free." He almost whispered.

"Of course, if you won't take me out on a date at least we can have one here." You said and he offered a weak smile.

"Now tell me, how's your preparation for exams going?" He changed the subject now speaking in a louder tone and it felt more like spending time with Lupin than Remus. You enjoyed all sides of Remus J Lupin. You enjoyed learning his habits and quirks, you would sit in your DADA lesson and watch him intensely as he would tap his fingers on his wand when he was nervous. You could quite define what was going on between you both, on one hand he was very reserved, he wanted for you to come over to spend time together and then for you to leave, like you were a way for him to have company. On the other hand he was passionate, he talked about his dreams of showing you the world, about how he saw the future it made you feel like maybe you were special to him. You spent the day alone waiting for Remus to come back, every few hours you would walk past his office to find out if he was back yet no sign of him. It was getting late and you were begging to believe he won't come back today and you wasted your evening waiting for him.

Finally around nine pm as you walked back to your dorm from his office you saw him walking in your direction towards his office, you smiled at the sight of him. He was very dressed up in a nice shirt and blazer, he looked like he really cared about his appearance today as he went to the meeting. You didn't really understand why he got so dressed up to see the order or why his "meeting" lasted all Saturday. He greeted you in the corridor with a nod and you turned around walking side by side to his office. "Hello Professor." You said with a playful tone.

"Hi Y/N, I know it's Saturday but do you mind coming to have a quick discussion with me in the office?" He asked with a smirk on his face.

"My pleasure." You said as he held the door open for you and you stepped inside.

"Hello my dear." He said as soon as the door closed and he leaned in to kiss you. "Sorry for running so late, everyone couldn't stop talking I left as soon as I could." He explained as you walked up the stairs to his office.

"You look really nice." You pointed out.

"I've got to impress you, how else would I keep you interested in boring old me." He said, at this moment you clicked the thing you could smell was fire whiskey, he had been drinking.

"Do you often drink at important meetings?" You asked, a sting of jealousy on your tongue.

"Only when they run late," He explained as he poured two drinks and you sat down.

"I waited for you like an idiot all evening." You explained feeling upset by how you ruined your day waiting while he was drinking and dressing up for a meeting.

"I'm sorry, dear, I tried to leave as soon as the meeting finished but everyone wanted to talk, they wanted to talk to me, which rarely happens, you know how I talk and people lose interest well this one time when I wanted them to not listed they did listen. But I wanted to come back to you this whole evening. Anyway we're here now and I can bore you instead of them." He gave you a soft kiss on your cheek as he sat down next to you.

"So tell me about your cottage." You said making yourself comfortable on the couch, with your legs crossed and your drink in hand.

"What do you want to know?" He re-adjusted himself to face you as he sat on the opposite end of the sofa and music played in the background, he had his favourite vinyl on which filled the room with positivity even if your conversations didn't start on a good note.

"I don't know, we always just talk about music and me, I feel like I barely know you."

"I'm an open book."

"That's a lie."

"What do you want to know?" He said gently ignoring your remark.

"Did you grow up there?" You snapped.

"In the cottage? No, god, no." He snapped back instantly looking down at his glass with the last three words.

"So where did you grow up?"

"Everywhere, we moved around a lot because of my condition. Listen Y/N I would rather not talk about this today. Ask me any other day and I'll tell you, today I want to listen to some records, hold you in my arms and sip some expensive whiskey." He said putting an arm around you and pulling you closer.

"So you'll speak to others all night but all you want is to sit next to me and listen to music?"

"I also want to kiss you." He said planting a light kiss on your lips making you blush.

"Remus, I feel like you don't want to let me into your life."

"You are in my life, dear. I spend more time with you than anyone else. The last time I was around someone so much it was Sirius and I was your age."

"Yet you won't even let me meet Sirius." You left his embrace sitting on the opposite side of the sofa.

"Y/N, we spoke about this..." he said sitting up himself.

"What are we?"

"I don't know." He said slightly defeated.

"Are we dating?"

"No." He replied calmly but instantly without time to even process the question .

"But we're exclusive?" You asked after a moment of thinking

"Yes." Once again instantly.

"Why?"

"Because I can't bear the thought of anyone else kissing you."

"Why won't you date me?"

"Because I'm your teacher." He didn't break eye contact.

"Bullshit. You've crossed that line too many times for it to matter, why?"

"Because it's me. Y/N, I wouldn't want to curse anyone with me, especially not you. You don't understand what I am..."

"I do Remus, and I don't care so drop this self destructive attitude and let yourself feel happy."

"I want you to feel happy!" He almost shouted but controlled himself. "I am sacrificing my job for you to be happy-"

"Yes because you don't get any enjoyment out of it, you're just having sex with me and inviting me over for my enjoyment." You snarked back and he rested his head in his hand as he massaged his temple trying to find the right words to say.

"Y/N, you know what I mean. I care about you, I am smitten by you. But it would be selfish of me to decide to date you to call you mine. You're a young witch, you have so much potential. I have to change jobs before people realise my condition, I am always moving, I'm not safe, and I'm not safe to be around. I want to keep you safe and happy, I don't want to ruin your future by people finding out you're dating not only your teacher but a werwolf."

"Selfish is you not giving me a chance. Do you know what would make me happy? If you held my hand. The day you took me to the British Museum was one of the best days I've ever had, I was so happy, you can offer me happiness but you decide not to. You would know all this if you weren't too busy feeling sorry for yourself to notice." You now raised your voice a little bit too much.

"This isn't how I wanted this evening to go." He simply said looking down at his feet almost defeated.

"I'm sorry but you can't keep running from this conversation Lupin it's March, am I just your plaything or do you hate yourself so much that you truly won't allow yourself to feel okay for a moment?"

"Dear, can we just come back to this tomorrow when you're more calm and I'm more sober?" He asked with a soft tone that contrasted your own.

"Maybe I should go." You said standing up and gathering your belongings.

"Dear-" he began as he stood up and followed you towards the door.

"No Remus, I'm not going to allow you to hurt me with your mistaken nobility, the worst part is you truly think you're doting the right thing." You said emotions getting the best of you.

"Y/N. Please stay." He placed his hand on the door to stop you from opening it.

"Why? Why are you so desperate for me to stay when you won't talk to me about anything real."

"Because it's my birthday..." he said and it hit you like a wall of bricks.

"Remus I'm so sorry-" you began but he seemed dismissive.

"Actually I believe it may be best if you do leave," Remus said letting go of the wall and walking to sit back down, downing the rest of his drink and closing his eyes as he sat there not looking your way.

"Yes I should go, we should go. Let's go to London."

"What?" He shot a confused look at you.

"Let's go, what are we doing wasting away here? Do you really want to spend your birthday sitting here like every other evening? Or do you want to celebrate?"

"I don't celebrate my birthday, I just don't want to be alone this year."

"Why isn't Sirius here?"

"Because I already saw him, they bought out a cake and sang me happy birthday at the meeting. I didn't like the attention but it was nice if Sirius to organise it, but I told them I just want to sit at home today."

"No let's celebrate!" You insisted sitting down next to him and putting hands on his knee.

"I told you I don't want to I just want to sit here and have a nice, normal, evening with you." He said sternly, his body stiff.

"Remus, why didn't you tell me it's your birthday?"

"Because I didn't want you to react like this, it's not important, I didn't want a cake, I didn't want people singing happy birthday, I just wanted to sit with you here and feel normal and happy." He explained it felt like he was lecturing you.

"I don't understand..."

"No you wouldn't would you?" He stood up moving your hand off his knee and walking away to go top up his glass before he continued speaking. "I didn't want to be reminded another year has passed, another year where there no cure, another year where each month is a curse, another year my mother is dead, my friends are dead. Another year closer to loosing my father, to loosing Sirius and another job. What is so fun about celebrating this?"

"Because it's about celebrating the person you are." You emphasised walking over to him, you stood in front of him looking up at him hoping he would kiss you as you moved up your him standing on your toes.

"There's nothing to celebrate about me." He said walking past you to sit on his office chair. You followed right behind him.

"Yes there is Remus. You're amazing, do you really think I'd be waiting for you all evening if you weren't worth celebrating." You moved in closer invading his personal space and straddling him on his desk chair. His body shifted below you as he cleared your throat, you could feel his penis twitch as he was begging to get hard. "I'm sorry Y/N, I think you should leave." He said almost whispering. You looked into his eyes for a moment before storming out. "Self destructive asshole" you murmured as you slammed his office door behind you.

NEXT CHAPTER | More stuff I wrote

A/N: sorry for the angst I had to do it.

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[friendly-neighborhood-boricua]

[4] Liam and James Make You A Birthday Gift

Summary: Inspired by his birthday party at school, Liam goes to James for help with your birthday present.

Notes: Marauders modern elementary school AU, kindergarten teacher!James Potter x nurse!reader, mom!reader x son!OC (Liam). Sorta weirdly angsty? Idk how that happened. Vague mention of parental death, grieving.

A/N (27/6/24): Guys just don't believe me when I say I'll update regularly lmao it's never gonna happen. Tried to upload this last night but I literally fell asleep lmao so this is semi edited

Previous Part: Career Fair Next Part: James Takes Liam to School Series Masterlist here

Look.

We all know that James is the best kindergarten teacher at his school.

His students’ test scores always improve through the year

Their standardized test results are exactly where they should be for the grade level, if not higher

And the kids themselves love him

But in order to keep his kids happy and engaged and eager to learn, he sometimes has to … shall we say bend the rules …

Just a teensy weensy bit

A little bit

A tiiiiiiny bit

At the beginning of the year, James told the class that if they were well-behaved by the time that each of their birthdays came around, he would throw a small birthday party for each of them

And let me tell you

The kids were thrilled

James quickly set a few ground rules for the kids (because the admin at his school is stupid and ScHOoL pArTiEs cAnT bE hELd wiThOUt adMiNiStrATivE pErMiSSiOn so he had to be kinda careful)

NUMBER ONE (more for him than them)

James checked each of his students’ allergy records in the school database to figure out what treats he could bring to school 

You know, without sending anyone into anaphylactic shock and probably getting sued in the process

and NUMBER TWO

Everyone must thank Mr. Black at the front desk on the day of each party

(Sirius would help James smuggle treats into his room for these parties, so James figured it’d be nice to have them say thank you)

Honestly, James enjoyed these parties just as much as the kids

Even the planning part was fun for him

About a week before a kid’s birthday, he’d ask them what treat they wanted for their party

Some kids *cough* draco *cough* want a bunch of super-sugary Halloween-type candy

(James gets them reduced sugar and sugar-free knock-off brands for Draco's birthday because he doesn’t think he can handle nineteen sugar-high kids all at once)

Others want to have a pizza party or order from a nearby restaurant

Sweet little Dean just wanted Fig Newtons lmaooo

(James bought an extra pack for her to take home)

But each and every time, no matter what they want, James makes it happen

Liam’s birthday is on January 2nd, which is over winter break

Which is a shame because James was really excited to celebrate it on the day of

Usually with kids who have birthdays in the summer, he celebrates their half-birthday

But that won’t work for Liam obviously bc his half-birthday is in the summer

So James just decides to celebrate Liam’s birthday when they get back from winter break

Before winter break, however, James asks Liam what treat he wants for his party

And Liam

Sweet summer child

Liam says he’d really like some home-made oatmeal raisin cookies

Like

What.

What the fuck kind of answer is that??

For a sIX YEAR OLD

WHAT.

This fucking child is somehow like ninety years old and six at the same fucking time

James’ utter bafflement must have been visible on his face because Liam explains himself pretty quick

And James’ heart breaks when Liam tells him that his grandma died when he was really young but his mom tells him all the time that her mom’s oatmeal raisin cookies were the best thing ever

Apparently every time you try to recreate them for Liam, some disaster happens and you’re unable to finish 

(i.e. you’re called into work and have to take the cookies out of the oven half-baked so the house doesn’t burn down, you and Liam take a nap while the cookies are baking and almost actually burn the house down, Liam accidentally gave you the salt rather than the sugar, etc.)

And Liam just really wants to try good oatmeal raisin cookies

He’s had them from a box from the grocery store before, and they’re not bad (it kinda surprises James that he liked them at all, but then he remembers who exactly he’s talking to lol), but Liam wants to try some good home-made oatmeal raisin cookies

And maybe bring one home for his mom

And FURTHERMORE, Liam is plenty aware that no child in a million years besides him actually enjoys oatmeal raisin cookies

So he asks for chocolate chip for the rest of the class so they get something they’ll actually enjoy

James is just kinda speechless at first

Like you can hear him just blinking down at this sweet, kind, selfless little six-year-old

And slowly he nods, and the bell rings to signify the end of the day (and semester since it’s the last day of school before winter break)

Poor James is practically catatonic as he gets his kids on their busses and in cars home, then packs his own things and finally makes his way to the library to get Remus and Sirius

And they both know something’s up immediately

After some gentle prodding (and Sirius outright refusing to leave the school library until James tells them what was wrong), James tells them what happened

(Remus and Sirius aren’t quite sure what the big deal is until James explains further)

James’ parents died during his second year at university, and he was horribly torn up about it for years after

Still is, sometimes

He was always terribly close with his parents, and they would always do anything—anything—for their James

(Including practically adopt Sirius during high school)

And now, thinking about Liam’s grandmother dying when he was young, all James could think about was you

James couldn’t imagine you’re any older than him, and he’s twenty-four, which means you had Liam young

And if Liam’s grandmother—your mother—had died when Liam was young, that meant you were left to take care of a baby all on your own at—what, twenty years old? Nineteen? All while going to university to become a nurse, and then actually becoming a nurse after that, long shifts and heavy workloads and all

The thought made James’ heart ache terribly in his chest

That night, James spends nearly two hours searching for different oatmeal raisin cookie recipes

He plans to do trials 

A competition of sorts with Sirius and Remus serving as judges

Because James is DETERMINED to bake the best homemade oatmeal raisin cookie Liam will ever have

(He’s sort of nervous for you to eat one, but he figures even if it isn’t as good as your mother’s, it hopefully won’t be awful)

James, Sirius, and Remus’ holiday celebrations only really extend to sleeping over on Christmas Eve at Remus’ mother’s house, which is only a couple blocks away

So James spends every day of winter break baking a new cookie recipe and shoving cookies down Remus’ and Sirius’ throats

But by the beginning of second semester, James has crafted the perfect oatmeal raisin cookie recipe

(It was rather simple, actually, and the “secret ingredient” was more of a secret process than anything; James used only brown sugar rather than a mix of brown and granulated, added some cinnamon, and put the balls of dough in the freezer for twenty minutes before baking so they would be nice and chewy)

James decides to hold Liam’s party at the end of the first week back at school

(Just to make sure the kids know they’ve got to go back to learning)

And Liam’s party goes swimmingly!! (ofc)

James brought chocolate chips, as promised

But he was terribly proud of his oatmeal raisin cookies, so he brought enough for the whole class as well

And holy shit

James never thought it could be done

But EVERY SINGLE KID in that classroom was eating oatmeal raisin cookies like there was no tomorrow

Like

James tried to make sure there was a cookie left at the end for Liam to take home to you

But he couldn’t keep them out of these kids’ grubby little paws and they ended up eating them all :(((((((((

James is really sad when he notices

He hadn’t quite realized just how much he wanted you to try his cookies but now he’s really disappointed

And poor Liam :((((((

Poor baby Liam is also pretty put out by it, James can tell

James apologizes to Liam about it

Liam says it’s fine, but James sees right through it

He gives Liam a big hug at the end of the day as well as another apology

(And a lollipop, but secretly so the other kids don’t ask for one too)

A month passes, and everything’s pretty normal

Until one weekend in early February, James hears knocking on his apartment door

He’d been grading, and Remus and Sirius were over to hang about and chat

James wasn’t expecting anyone else to arrive so he’s pretty confused

But he answers anyway

(Let's be honest here people, James would be the first to be killed in a horror movie)

Thankfully Jason doesn’t murder James on his doorstep

Instead (and very surprisingly) it’s Liam who’s standing anxiously at James’ front door

Immediately, James thinks the worst

Did something happen to Liam? Are you home? Did something happen to you?

James is immediately crouched in front of Liam, eye level, asking him what he needs

And Liam anxiously stutters out that he needs help

With what? you may ask

Well, my dear reader

Liam needs help making homemade oatmeal raisin cookies

For his mom

For her birthday

LIAM ISTG—ASDKFJHLWN

YOUR SON IS SUCH A SWEETHEART

AND JAMES CANNOT GET OVER IT

(He’s also super relieved bc he was real scared for a second that something terrible had happened)

So Liam and James and Remus and Sirius (who Liam knows as Mr. Lupin and Mr. Black from school) all get to work making homemade oatmeal raisin cookies for you for your birthday

Liam explains that you’re working a twelve-hour shift and a couple hours of overtime on top of that, so you set him up with Ms. Hope (Remus’ mom, who watches him often)

Apparently Liam asked her if he could go to James’ apartment to ask if he could bake oatmeal raisin cookies for his mom, and Ms. Hope said yes

(Remus quickly calls his mother to reassure her that Liam arrived safe and sound and is currently baking with them, just so she doesn’t worry herself)

Liam also informs James, Remus, and Sirius that he’s supposed to be staying at Ms. Hope’s house until tomorrow morning, when you’ll pick him up

Ms. Hope insisted that you leave Liam with her and not worry about him, if just for the night

The four boys have a blast for the next three hours or so, baking far too many batches of cookies and then finding a nice gift bag to put them in

James also gets some stray craft supplies (he keeps it around in case he runs out at school) and everyone makes their own birthday cards for you

Harry goes back to Ms. Hope’s just in time for dinner, which James, Sirius, and Remus join them for, much to Ms. Hope’s excitement

The evening is just terribly fun for all of them

Fast forward to the next day and you’re rushing to look semi-presentable to go get Liam from Ms. Hope’s house

The doorbell rings, and you’re cursing internally because you’re already fifteen minutes late

You got home so late at night that it was actually early in the morning, and you’d overslept

And now there’s another thing to deal with at the door

James’ eyebrows raise slightly at the force with which you wrench open the door, and he’s a little concerned that you’ll be displeased at what he’s done

But you realize who it is (Liam) and who he’s with (James) and all the tension in your shoulders melts back

Liam is immediately all over you, wishing you a happy birthday with a big hug and a wet kiss to your cheek and resting his head on your shoulder when you pick him up

You’re completely thrilled to see him

(If immensely confused about why your son's teacher is also on your doorstep with a rather large gift bag)

James smiles sheepishly, but he’s reassured by your smile as you say good morning

So he explains the whoooooole story with you pitching in here and there

Until finally he gets to the fact that he and Liam (and Remus and Sirius ofc) have made you oatmeal raisin cookies

At this point, James is pretty certain that you can’t do much to endear him further to you

But you’ve got the most lovely way of proving him wrong when he begins to think like that because the way your eyes light up at the mention of oatmeal raisin cookies makes James want to keep repeating the words over and over so the look never fades from your face

He hands over the gift bag (with another small explanation about the two extra cards and who exactly Sirius and Remus are), wishes you a happy birthday, and politely excuses himself

As much as James loves to be around you and Liam, he knows his place

At the end of the day, he’s still Liam’s kindergarten teacher, and Liam is still your son

So he leaves you and Liam to celebrate your birthday between the two of you

When he gets back to his flat and locks the door behind him, James feels a strange sort of ache settle over his shoulders and seep deep into the cavity of his chest. He swallows around the strange feeling in his throat and takes a deep breath. It’s fine. Everything’s fine. 

Next Part: James Takes Liam to School

[bakuhatsufallinlove]

Clarification regarding MHA’s final chapter being published in a double issue

Weekly Shonen Jump’s annual publishing schedule plans for 52 issues. However, it might confuse you to know that those numbers begin in December, not January. For example, Issue #1 of the 2024 run was actually published in December of 2023, following 2023’s Issue #52 which was published in November.

WSJ also accounts for holiday breaks in this scheduling. Since 2016, they have released at least four “double issues” per year in accordance with Japanese holidays: Christmas, New Years, Golden Week, and Obon Festival, which fall in December, January, April, and August respectively.

As a result, you get back-to-back double issues in late December/early January, then a double issue in the last week of April and the first week of August.

Despite what you might think, double issues do not contain twice the amount of content.

Indeed, they occasionally have a couple extra color pages or two-page spreads than usual, but the main thing that is special about them is the “JUMP cast photo” covers. Weekly covers may highlight 2-3 characters from a couple series, or go for a bigger “splash page” look incorporating different series and more characters.

But double issues, without fail, cram absolutely everybody in there—the protagonist from nearly every series currently running in the magazine gets a spot on the cover, often with each of them matching in theme, as with this Christmas-themed one from the 2019 serialization:

And this year’s own Year of the Dragon New Years cover!

Obon’s double issue tends to have the summer theme, obviously, as we can see here with 2020 and 2022:

I even researched the last few times a series ended in the Obon double issue, and that would be Act-Age in 2020 and Nisekoi in 2016. From some light reading, Nisekoi typically had 16-17 pages per chapter, while the final chapter had 24. Act-Age, on the other hand, pretty consistently had 19-21, and its finale had 20 pages.

I researched how many pages MHA typically has for the Obon issue.

I also researched these numbers for the Golden Week double issue and it was similar, don’t question me, okay, I’m a freak.

These aren't noteworthy numbers; My Hero Academia has always varied between 15-21 pages, ebbing and flowing. Horikoshi said shortly after the Uraraka vs. Toga finale that his editor arranged for each chapter to be 15 pages because that was the number he could consistently complete, since sudden deviation or incomplete pages can cause serious stress to the rest of the publishing staff who have to arrange new chapters from around twenty different series every week.

From this information alone, we have no reason to believe the final chapter of MHA will contain double the typical number of pages.

However, we do have some tankōbon math to do here.

Volume 41 is being released a few days before the final chapter. We don’t have official confirmation, but most of the recent volumes have had 12 chapters and ended on a cliffhanger. In light of this, I suspect volume 41 will cover 411 through chapter 422, thus beginning the final volume, volume 42, on chapter 423.

The longest MHA tankōbon release has been 216 pages long, while the shortest is 184 pages.

We know we will get five more chapters from now, ending on chapter 430.

Every tankoban has at least 4 pages of table of contents and copyright, so the math works out this way:

4 pages + 45 pages with chapters 423, 424, and 425 = 49 pages Longest outcome: 216 – 49 = 167 167 divided into 5 new chapters: 33.40 average pages per chapter Shortest outcome: 184 – 49 = 135 135 divided into 5 new chapters: 27 average pages per chapter

This average is quite shocking to think about and begs the question, “what the fuck is UP, Horikoshi-sensei!?”

The recent trend of 15 pages per chapter for all eight chapters plus the four for table of contents/copyright would yield only 124 pages, which is definitely too few for release. I think there is a strong possibility we will get that upper range of his page count average, 20-21, until the end, which would yield about 154.

I said 184 was the shortest, but technically volume 7 had a unique release with 169 pages plus a drama CD and booklet, which makes me wonder if the final volume might have some sort of special content?? Or possibly volume 41 will end at 421, making it 11 chapters long while volume 42 is 9??

This answers some questions while raising a whole bunch more. I can't wait to find out~!!! <3

Note: I gathered most of the precise numbers-and-dates information referenced in this post—and my Jump GIGA post—from a fan-made Jump Database. Special thanks to the very dedicated people who maintain it.

[violetasteracademic]

Hi , I want to ask if you think Lucien was always meant to have a rejected mating bond with an Archeron sister ?

Hello lovely anon!

So.... this is a tough question to answer- because where does always begin in the writing process?

Does it begin in the first draft? Does it begin in the wild prophetic visions you have at three am that you want to scribble down but you don't because you are trying to sleep, but still, it lingers? Does it begin in a beat sheet, a plot outline, a Pinterest board?

I'm not sure if SJM always intended a rejected mating bond. To be completely honest, I go back and forth. I think that Sarah has let a lot of things slip that she wrote that were never going to even be submitted to her editor on a first draft (like the famed Nesta/Cassian/Azriel batwich, RIP and I'm still waiting on SJM to write a threesome). And yet when she shares those things, people almost consider it canon and analyze it to death and use it to prove certain things. At some point, she probably really genuinely considered making Lucien and one of the sisters a couple, but I can't say for sure where in the process that died.

I remember seeing Emily Henry share on her stories recently an addition to her "RIP" character list- as in characters that she had written that literally did not even make it into the book. The first draft of Beach Read was actually a love triangle, involving some local guy who owns an ice cream business or something of the sort who is also trying to romance January. I can see what she might have been trying to do there- give January two options reflecting two sides of her. Ice Cream Steve (not sure if those details are correct but we'll go with it) would have served as a perfect foil to Grave Digging, Bleak Literary Fiction Author Gus. But ultimately, Ice Cream Steve did not even make it to the book. Do we treat him as real? Do we wonder if he may have been a better fit for January? Do we analyze what this means for January and Gus?

I'll get a little bit into the technicality of what developmental editing is and how it can completely reshape a story, erase characters, create characters, and shift their storylines, but what I do know is this- the function of Lucien being assigned an Archeron sister, any Archeron sister, is completely clear: To win him over to the Night Court as an ally and embolden him to help Feyre get away from Tamlin. This is absolutely critical. Lucien's role in the story since this hasn't developed romantically because he is mated to one of the Archeron sisters, it has spun off in a new direction plot wise with the Band of Exiles, Vassa, Koschei, and the human queens- which also develops a tentative relationship between himself and his brother Eris again, with his mating bond hovering in the background. However, his mating bond began this new direction, and it wouldn't have existed without it:

Lucien would not have left if it were not for the mating bond. I believe that is the element that was always true. Lucien's mating bond, be it with Elain, or Nesta as originally planned, was always going to be a plot device. And I can answer where I believe the story of a love triangle at the very least began its groundwork- which is A Court of Mist and Fury. I personally think that as of publishing ACOMAF Lucien and Elain were already done, fizzling out in the developmental editing process, and Azriel and Elain were endgame, but I'm open to those who see it differently.

Before we move on, here are the different types of editors:

A development editor basically edits the story at large. They focus on elements like theme, character development, plot holes, ECT. When dealing with a series, often times an author will provide a detailed packet to their developmental editor before doing dev runs. This is because the developmental editor needs to understand where the story is headed. They need to understand what needs to be appropriately foreshadowed, what themes to highlight, and keep their eye on the big picture so that everything comes to a well developed, emotionally charged, and thematically satisfying conlcusion.

What is clear to me is that Azriel and Elain were being developed emotionally and thematically in ACOMAF:

These are the types of passages that focus on the big picture. Before Feyre's sisters have become Fae, Feyre is musing on what her sisters would be like in Velaris. She thinks about how Nesta would like it, despite herself, and become fast friends with Amren (true) and how Elain would like Velaris, but she would cling to Azriel for peace and quiet. True. Feyre considers how handsome Elain and Azriel would be together if he ever stopped loving Mor.

Developmentally- what is the purpose of this? It's the same book that Lucien and Elain's mating bond is revealed, so why muse on Elain and Azriel as a couple if Azriel could get over Mor, which he now has because of Elain? Meanwhile, Elain is engaged. Feyre doesn't say a word about that. She sees how her sister would want to be with someone like Azriel, and Feyre doesn't even think twice about Graysen because Azriel is right for her sister. This isn't Feyre being an unreliable narrator. Everything else in this passage came to be true.

These are the types of moments developmental editors hone in on to make sure theme and foreshadowing are strong and successful.

Of course this is already after the beautiful moments Azriel and Elain have together- Azriel getting shy and self conscious before dropping one of the most beautiful lines in all the books about being born hearing the song of the wind. Elain already being able to read Azriel- looking to him and smiling and finding comfort and assessing his countenance to see if everything is going okay.

If I'm a developmental editor, and I wanted it to be really clear why Lucien and Elain were right for each other- why would I keep all of this in? Why tie Elain and Azriel together thematically and emotionally? So again, this is where the question "where does always begin" comes into play. Did SJM realize in her first draft that Nesta and Lucien weren't going to work, so she switched to Elain, only to realize that Elain and Lucien don't have chemistry either? Was it after a developmental edit? I can't say for sure on that end. Maybe ACOMAF truly was just setting up a love triangle, but personally I think Elain and Az were always endgame as of the books being published, and trying to explore Elain and Lucien as a couple probably died out before the final draft of ACOMAF and SJM realized Lucien still needed to be mated to one of the sisters, thus ideas about the rejected mating bond started stirring instead and then were hit HARD in ACOWAR. I can see the argument that the door was being kept open for Lucien in ACOMAF, though I personally think Lucien's mating bond reveal was strictly a plot device. But what is extremely clear is that as of ACOWAR the path was set in stone.

Again- these are the things where, not to take credit away from Sarah, a developmental editor really comes into play. If Sarah is going, okay- who is Lucien going to end up with? Nesta? No, it can't be Nesta, even though that was originally the plan. Elain? Maybe, it could be Elain. What does that look like? Maybe it was Lucien and Elain in the pitch packet. Then a developmental editor goes, okay- where are we headed? What are the themes? What are the character arcs and growth we are looking for?

Then we move on to ACOWAR, and both of them were developed to have a theme of choice threaded into their interactions:

What these moments make clear is that the mating bond makes it impossible for Elain and Lucien to get what they truly want out of love with each other- for someone to love and choose them beyond the circumstances placed on them. Lucien wants this just as much as Elain does. They are now thematically connected in that way- in wanting to be chosen above all, despite everything. That's where this Facebook comment makes soooo much sense:

Nesta didn't have any growth or healing to offer Lucien, because thematically there was not really anything there between them. Nesta and Cassian also had this instant, intense connection that could not be ignored or played slowly. Nesta also didn't lose her fiance, she herself saying she had as little at stake in Velaris as she did on the other side of the wall. Nesta had anger and resentment. Elain had loss, which on the surface could thematically match Lucien, but then we dig deeper to learn that they aren't only needing to heal from the loss of love, they are needing to heal from the loss of choice.

Elain was engaged to a man who hates fae. And Elain was always going to become Fae.

Lucien had his history and story with Jesminda since book one. He thought Jesminda was his mate. The woman who loved him for him, not because he was a High Lord's son or because of any other High Fae customs Lucien rejects. This is where you see the development. Lucien and Elain could have worked on an incredibly surface level, both of them having lost their first loves, but deeper themes revealed themselves that showed they mirror each other in a way that doesn't make them right for each other, but that allows them to face what needs to be faced: being strong and brave enough to choose for themselves instead of letting the world control them.

For Elain and Lucien to have made sense together thematically, everything should have been reversed. Elain should have been mated to Azriel, and then Elain and Lucien should have met somehow and fallen in love, and the choosing each other above all, love trumping even a mating bond, Lucien being chosen and loved without question, without hesitation, would have belonged to them.

But again, without the mating bond, Lucien and Elain wouldn't even have met in the first place and Lucien would not have left Spring. So where does that leave us? The mating bond as a plot device. It was literally required to move the story forward, but thematically is anticlimactic for both parties in terms of the kind of love they want for themselves.

So- was Lucien always going to have a mating bond rejection? Probably not. But where in the years long process did all of this reveal itself? Only Sarah knows that. But I think what is quite clear is that it was always going to happen if we start from what is published in the books between him and Elain.

I think it's very possible that SJM did really intend for Lucien to wind up with one of the sisters. But if you've ever gone through the writing process yourself, you realize pretty quickly how many things fall apart and don't work/make sense/are actually anti-thematic to the characters you've created. Maybe she'll tell us one day exactly when Elain and Lucien fell apart, just like Nesta and Lucien fell apart. But we do have to keep in mind that an author like SJM, who was able to sell a trilogy all at once, probably had to have at least a 25 page packet outlining the trilogy and it's development. So- was it Nesta and Lucien in the pitch packet? Was it Elain and Lucien, because even while structuring a pitch she realized Nesta and Lucien would never work while outlining, but thought Elain and Lucien would? Only to discover Elain and Azriel connecting while drafting ACOMAF?

Writing a book is years of plotting, outlining, writing, rewriting, editing, writing again, and sometimes what you come up with is unrecognizable from the plan. And considering SJM contracted a trilogy, she would have pitched in pretty significant detail what would happen in book two and book three. We'll see what Sarah does and does not choose to reveal!

I think that's everything! I love getting these questions from you guys. I still have a cue in my inbox, and I am sorry it's kind of random when my inspiration strikes and I have a clear answer and can quickly think of the passages and ideas! But I will try to get to my older ones that have been sitting for a minute, I promise!

What do you guys think? I know everyone has different thoughts on this and I love to hear them!

[buckys-little-belle]

Chapter Two - Backpack, Backpack

SFW - Please keep all interactions with this post, and this blog, SFW. 

Warnings - Mentions of Bucky’s ‘Old Life’, talks about slight “Violence” (Bucky’s past), talks of a first aid kit, feeling “scared” about being a little, fluff! Obviously! 

Word Count - 2164

Note - I've finished all of Bub and Buck's story now, and I have to say it's been crazy going back and blending chapters/blurbs together to create a more cohesive story. It's been fun, and crazy, and honestly I missed this little place that I loved so much. Cafe BigNSmall is the beginning of so much, not just this account. It was the first little writing thing I put out that really got traction and that led me to where I am now. Going to school in January for creative writing, beginning the process of writing my own book. This little fic that has brough comfort to so many, myself included, is so much bigger than just a fanfiction or just a writing process and I'm so thankful for everyone who has stuck by my side, who has liked, reblogged, and sent asks about it. I love every one of you, I love who you've helped me become, and I've loved every minute of re-writing this series and I hope you love re-reading, or even reading it for the first time. I just have so so so much love in my heart for this and for you <3

. ★ . ✪ . ★ .  ✪ . ★ . ✪ . ★ .  ✪ . ★ . 

Bucky sat at his same table for the umpteenth time, but this time he sat with a smile knowing someone was on their way to sit with him. For the first time in a while Bucky wasn’t sitting and watching everyone while feeling jealous, instead he watched as a Caregiver hugged their Little and felt hopeful that he might get to have that one day. 

“MR!” Y/n yelled from the entrance like she couldn’t believe he was there, sitting at their table ready for whatever she wished to do. “Hi!” She smiled at him when she got to the table, her usual overalls and t-shirt combo covered by a heavy sweater. He was happy she had covered up more than yesterday, the sky grey instead of blue, and the colder. 

“Hi.” He smiled back, Bucky was sure he looked goofy with how big his smile was but he didn’t care. “Chilly?” He asks as he watches them shiver slightly when the finally sit down. 

“Yeah.” Y/n tilts her head to the side as she seems to contemplate something. “I think ‘m gonna get a hot chocolate.” She rummages around her bag before finding her wallet and pulling out a five dollar bill. Bucky was quicker though, already on his feet and in the line. “What are you gonna get?” Y/n asks as she joins him in the line. 

“Well, I think I’m going to get a hot chocolate too.” He looks down at her, a silly grin on her face as she nods her head. “Their cake pops look good too.” Bucky points to the glass case full of baked goods and premade sandwiches. 

“I know!” Y/n practically jumps. “I had one once.” They frown. “But I never have enough moneys for one, maybe next week I’ll get one.” They nod their head, agreeing with their idea. 

Bucky already planned on buying Y/n a cake pop, but wanted to make sure she actually did like them. Finding out she’s only had one because she can’t afford them has him vowing to always buy her one whenever she’s here. 

The money Bucky got from the government after his treatment went public often sits in his bank account unused, he has what he needs, and most of what he wants, and he hates spending the money on useless things. Yet as he watches Y/n’s eyes flicker to the case full of sweet treats with a frown on their face he’s happy to know he finally has something, someone worth spending money on. 

“Hi, what can I get you today?” The barista smiles at Bucky, giving an extra sweet grin and a wave to Y/n. 

“Can I get two medium hot chocolates, please?” Bucky places his hand on Y/n’s shoulder to get her attention before asking. “What kind of cake pop do you want Bub?” 

“I can’t.” They shrug their shoulders, clearly not aware that Bucky’s already ordering for her. 

“I’m buying you one. Which one do you want, Bub?” He adds some clarification, leaning down slightly to be at Y/n’s height, pointing to the cake pops in the case. “I love vanilla, I think I’ll get a vanilla one.” He says, hoping that him getting one will make Y/n feel less nervous. 

She begins playing with her hands, twisting her fingers together, something Bucky’s noticed she does when anxious. “Um, I like chocolate.” She whispers, looking back at Bucky with weary eyes. “But I don’ wan’ you to buy it, I -” Bucky doesn’t let her finish her sentence, instead he stands and orders both cake pops before paying. 

With both hands on Bub’s shoulders he moves them over to the wait station. “When you’re with me I’ll be the one buying things, okay?” His tone is sweet but also somehow firm, hoping his words make sense and are final, but also hoping he doesn’t seem too overbearing. 

“Like a, like when.” Bub stumbled over her words before turning around to face Bucky, his hands dropping from her shoulders only for her to grab his left, glove covered, hand to fidget with it like she does hers. “Like a caregiver?” She asks, finally meeting Bucky’s glance. 

“Exactly like that.” Bucky nods. “I’ll act like your caregiver when we’re together, okay?” He regrets using the word ‘act’ the moment he says it, Y/n somberly nodding at his words. He wants to be her caregiver all the time, he doesn’t want to just act as one while around her, but he met her yesterday. Neither of them know each other well enough for that kind of trust, yet Bucky seems to feel like they both are on the same wavelength. Like they’ve waited long enough for someone to be their other, why wait a little longer. 

“I’d like tha’.” Y/n nods, turning back around in Bucky’s arms to wait for their cake pop and hot chocolate. 

. ★ . ✪ . ★ .  ✪ . ★ . ✪ . ★ .  ✪ . ★ . 

For a whole week Bucky and Bub met up everyday, getting hot chocolate and cake pops. Y/n kept giving Bucky colouring pages to take home with her signature at the bottom, his fridge now covered in them after a frantic late night trip to buy magnets. Walking into his house and seeing the fridge coloured in pictures made him love the fact that he bought a huge fridge able to store at least another week's worth of pictures without having to remove anymore of the ones he’s already been given. 

“Hi, Mr!” Y/n smiled as she sat down on her booth seat, her backpack placed on the table as she got comfortable. “I made you something.” 

“You did?” Bucky unpackaged her cake pop and placed it on a napkin, sliding it over to her along with her hot chocolate. “Careful it’s hot.” Bucky warned as Bub went straight for her drink the moment it was in her line of sight. 

“Otay.” She blew a breath onto the cup, though Bucky wasn’t sure how helpful her hot puff of air would be in cooling it down, instead pulling it back to himself and blowing cold air on it for her. “Here.” She placed a piece of paper onto the table. 

This picture wasn’t one from a colouring book, but one on regular plain paper, drawn by Y/n and coloured by her to. Two figures stood hand in hand with a box of crayons in the middle. One person was obviously Bucky, the other Y/n. Even if he couldn’t tell Bub had written their names “Mr” and “Bub” below each of their persons. “I love it.” Bucky smiled, sliding the, now less hot, hot chocolate back to Y/n, her taking a sip immediately and humming in content. “I’ll have to put in on my fridge.” He said aloud, though he meant to keep the words to himself, not sure if it was wrong to admit he had grown attached to Y/n enough to want her pictures on his fridge. 

“Really?” Her usually playful voice grew serious, her eyes filled with tears. “My drawing?” 

“Yeah, Bub.” He smiled, glad she seemed happy over the idea. “I have a few of your drawings on my fridge already.” He admitted. Before he could place it in his bag Y/n was up and out of her seat sliding into Bucky’s booth before wrapping her arms around him in a hug. “Oh.” Bucky lets out a surprised sigh. 

“I like you, you nice.” Y/n said as she pulled away, though didn’t leave the booth. 

“You’re nice too, Bub.” Bucky said in disbelief. He knew the two of them were making good steps towards fully being comfortable around one another, Y/n seemed to slip further and further into regression, showing she felt safe around Bucky, and she had even asked him if he was the Winter Soldier and hadn't run when he said yes. But he hadn’t expected her to feel comfortable enough to hug him, yet he wasn’t going to argue or complain. 

Y/n eyed his bag for a minute or so before asking a question. “Wha’s in your bag?” She asked, this being the first time she had truly seen it. 

“I’ll show you what’s in my bag, if you show me what’s in yours?” He offered, having been wondering what she brought with her to the cafe everyday. “Deal?” He asked, and she perked up, agreeing before sliding out and back onto her seat, something Bucky frowned at. 

“Otay!” Bub squealed, opening her green backpack before digging around a little bit. The first thing she pulled out was a small zipper pouch, the fabric printed with frogs and plants. “This has m’ keys, an’ my phone.” She pulled both out, her phone being secured in a bag inside her bag making sense as to why it took her so long to find it when her alarm went off. “An’ it has my tic tacs in it! D’ you wan’ one?” She asked with a smile, holding out tropical tic tacs to Bucky. 

“I’m okay, but thank you Bub.” He smiled, proud of her manners and willingness to share her things. He knew he couldn't take credit for her good behaviour, or her manners. She was a sweet girl even if he didn’t remind her here and there of her manners, yet he was still extremely proud of her. 

“M’kay.” Bub nodded her head, popping a few tic tacs in her mouth before moving on. “Dis, um, dis is my frog.” Bub’s once very confident attitude dulled slightly as she brought the frog stuffie out, like she was waiting for someone to say something rude. 

“He’s very cute.” Bucky reassured her, his hand brushing against the stuffed animal's foot, his fur in perfect condition. “What’s his name?” 

Y/n still seemed on alert, but opened up a little more. “I call him Green Bean.” She pats his head. 

“That’s a perfect name.” Bucky chuckles, loving how creative his Bub is. “Where did you get his outfit?” He asks, referring to the knitted overalls and t-shirt, identical to Y/n’s everyday outfit. 

“I made dem!” Bucky was happy to see her peppy spark come back as she spoke about her stuffy. Giving him the rundown on how she made them, and made clothing for all her other stuffies at home. Then she gave him the rundown on a bunny stuffie she really wanted that was identical to the one she has at home. Though “He’s no’ the same Mr! He’s a different colour!” something Bucky quickly made a mental note of. 

Bub only had her wallet and a sweater stuffed at the bottom of her bag, and a small bag of long forgotten goldfish that Bucky immediately threw out left to show. “Your turn.” Y/n reminded Bucky, gesturing to his backpack. 

“Well.” He started, opening his bag, pulling out his wallet, keys and phone. “These are the things I have on me at all times.” He said, watching Y/n pick up his keys and fiddle with them, clearly loving his accumulated keychain and key combo from the last 100 years. “Then I have a First Aid Kit.” He pulls out a bulky box, a few things banging around inside. 

“In case someone ge’s hurt?” Y/n asks, concern dripping from her expressions. 

“Exactly.” Bucky answers, though he doesn’t admit that he mainly carries it out of fear that he’ll hurt someone and need to patch them up, but he hopes that Y/n’s just thinking about scrapes and small cuts and not the carnage he’s left behind. 

“Do you have princess bandaids?” She asks with all seriousness. 

“I have princess ones, paw patrol, and starwars.” He playful one ups her, the two of them laughing before he continues. “Then I have extra crayons, colouring pages, and a couple water bottles.” He pulls out the extra things, Y/n’s hands immediately going to the colouring pages. 

“Can I do this one, please?” She asks, bouncing in her seat, her frog underneath her arm. 

“Of course, Bub.” He smiles, the frog page she chose the one he printed off last night in the hopes to give it to her. 

After the small show and tell the two of them sat together eating their cake pops and drinking their hot chocolate. Everytime he looked up Bucky realised just how lucky he was, to have found a Little who was as chill as Bub was, and as sweet as she was too. He realised that while he wished he could have met her sooner, he was happy he waited. 

“Why don’t we go to the park tomorrow?” He asked, thinking it could be good for them to get out somewhere other than just the cafe. 

“Yes!” Y/n practically jumped out of her seat at the idea, the two of them chatting about how excited they were for their adventure tomorrow.

[thegayhimbo]

Stranger Things The First Shadow Review

Synopsis: Following a horrific incident from their previous life in Nevada, the Creel family relocates to Hawkins, Indiana in an attempt to make a fresh start and instill a sense of normalcy in their son, Henry Creel. However, Henry is anything but normal, and harbors a dark secret of his own that scares both himself and his family. When a series of gruesome animal killings takes place, attracting the attention of a group of teenage outcasts and a Doctor with his own agenda, Henry realizes his secret is about to be exposed, and is forced into a reckoning that will change the course of his life, and of Hawkins, forever.........

Observations:

FINALLY!!!!

I've been waiting for MONTHS to see The First Shadow. As far back as January, we got tickets and made plans to travel to London specifically for this. Last Thursday (June 20, 2024), we were able to view it on-stage.

Was it worth it? Short answer: YES.

This is going to be divided into several parts. The first bit will detail my experience at the play, and the remaining parts will contain SPOILER HEAVY analysis of the story, the characters, and plot revelations tied directly to the mythology of the show. There's a lot to speculate on where the Duffer Brothers will take the final season from here.

Part 1: My Experience

In terms of production value, this was top-notch. I loved the set designs, from Hawkins High School, to the classic 50s Diner the characters hang out at, to the gothic Creel House, to the cold white rooms of Hawkins Lab, to the hellish landscape of Upside Down, and so on. The 50s aesthetic works well, and there were multiple shots that conveyed the sense I was watching an episode from the show.

The special effects were spectacular. Huge shout-out to the way they choreographed the mutilation of both animals and humans. It actually looked like bones being snapped and limbs twisted around. There's even a disturbing scene where Hopper and Bob are digging up the carcass of a butchered cat, and the prop they used for it looked realistic (combined with dirt and blood for nauseating effect). The lighting also helped elevate the creepiness of it all.

The music was also great. They had a nice selection of 50s songs, but they also brought back familiar themes from the show. One of my favorite musical cues was the use of Philip Glass's "Window of Appearances" which is heard when Vecna's origins are revealed in "The Massacre at Hawkins Lab" (Season 4, Episode 7). They also use it in the climax of this play:

The actors brought their A-game, but the two performances that really stood out for me were Isabella Pappas as Joyce and Louis McCartney as Henry Creel. Pappas does a stellar job combining Joyce's world-weary "I'm sick of everyone's bullshit" attitude with the fierceness that makes Joyce stand out as a character. It reminded me a little of Natalia Dyer's performance as Nancy Wheeler, especially with the "take charge" attitude that both of them have.

As for McCartney, he was the show-stealer. I didn't go into this play expecting to feel any sympathy for Vecna, but the emotional depth McCartney brings to his performance elevates the character to a 3-dimensional complex tragic villain, which makes his eventual fall to evil all the more heartbreaking.

The audience I was with was fully immersed. Most of the jokes got a laugh, there were a few screams when jump-scares occurred, and there was a standing ovation at the end when the cast came out to give a bow. Even during intermission, everyone was chatting happily about the play, and I heard nothing but compliments.

My only regret is, due to a scheduling conflict that day, we ended up missing the first 5 minutes, and they wouldn't let us in the theater until the title cards came up. We did see parts of the beginning on a TV screen in the lobby (and one of the patrons was gracious enough to fill us in on what happened), but I wish I'd been in the theater for the beginning. My advice is GET THERE EARLY if you plan to see it. The theater fills quickly, and they may not let you in at certain points.

The only minor nitpick I have about the quality of the play is there were a few moments I had a hard time understanding what certain characters were saying. This was mostly in the scenes with Henry/One/Vecna when he was either screaming or alternating to his demonic voice. I was usually able to figure out what was going on, but I wish the dialogue had been clearer.

Overall, this was a fun experience, and I even brought back memorabilia from it:

Part 2: Characters/Story (MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD!)

It's pretty much advertised in the synopsis, but the play takes place in 1959 when Joyce, Hopper, and Bob are in high school during the time the Creel family moves into Hawkins. The story is largely centered on Henry Creel's villain origins as he becomes more unhinged due to the power he possesses. This leads to a series of pet killings in Hawkins that catches the attention of Hopper, who ropes in both Joyce and Bob to investigate and find the culprit. All the while, Joyce is struggling to put on a play at Hawkins High School (i.e. The Dark of the Moon), which coincidentally happens to have Henry/One/Vecna as the main star! :)

These three arcs sound like they shouldn't connect at all, but to the Duffer Brothers credit, they manage to thread them in a way that's believable and engaging. Joyce's exasperated attempts to get The Dark of the Moon off the ground provide some light comedy to what is essentially a grim story, and it was a nice way for the audience to see all the adult characters from the show (i.e. Ted Wheeler, Karen Wheeler, Al Munson, Lonnie Byers, Sue Sinclair, Charles Sinclair, etc) as they were during their teen years.

The investigation of Hopper, Joyce, and Bob into the pet killings hearkens back to the old-fashioned dynamic the Party had in the first season when they were looking into Will's disappearance.

As for Henry/One/Vecna, his arc was well executed and horrifying on so many levels:

The way a young Henry Creel was portrayed in this play was oddly endearing. I mentioned earlier that McCartney brings a lot of emotional depth to the character, and by that, I mean he portrays teenage Henry as awkward, shy, creepy, funny, and even sympathetic at times. He's a kid who doesn't feel comfortable in his own skin, who has a hard time interacting with other people, and has powers that frighten him with the added side-effect of NOT knowing how to control them yet. Victor Creel mentioned to Nancy and Robin in S4 that Henry was a "sensitive child" and it turns out that was meant literally: Lights go on or off (or even explode) whenever Henry's mood fluctuates (making Henry constantly jumpy), he can unknowingly tune into the radio with his powers and mistakes it for voices in his head, he can read the thoughts/moods of other people, he can create illusions (similar to Kali/Eight), and whenever he tries experimenting with his powers, it ends in disaster. In short, he's someone who's terrified of his own shadow, and almost everything in his environment sets him off. At the same time though, there are some relatable qualities to him, such as his love for comics like Captain Midnight (which he eagerly shares with Patty), and there is an internal struggle he deals with for most of the play to genuinely be a good person in spite of the demons (both literal and figurative) that threaten to overwhelm him. He reminds me of Will Byers in some ways, and I am dead sure that parallel between these two characters was intentional on the Duffer Brothers part.

Contrary to what's implied on the show, it turns out Henry had his powers long before he moved to Hawkins. Previously, he lived in Rachel, Nevada until an incident between him and another boy resulted in said boy ending up in a wheelchair. It's ambiguous whether Henry deliberately attacked the boy or if it was an accident (it could have been either one), but it was enough to force his family to move. His parents (particularly his mother) are insistent on pretending everything is normal and that Henry will eventually get better, all the while putting more of an emotional strain on Henry as he tries (and fails) to conform.

We get a little more insight into Henry's parents, and it's not pretty: Victor Creel was already established on the show as a war veteran with severe trauma and PTSD over killing innocents during a raid, and the play depicts him the same way, with the added effect of being so wrapped up with his own issues that he fails to see his own son spiraling. The sad thing is there are scenes indicating he does love Henry (and also defends Henry's relationship with Patty, referring to it as "puppy love") but he isn't able to convey that in a way which makes Henry feel safe.

As for Virginia Creel, I don't know if this was intentional in the narration, but I found her unlikable. Putting aside the unsettling 50s Stepford Wife persona she projected, her treatment of Henry bordered on emotional abuse. She likely didn't intend that, but everything, from her attempts to keep Henry isolated from the one relationship that brings him any happiness, to constantly treating him like a time bomb waiting to go off, to pretending everything is okay when it isn't.........all of this causes whatever mother/son relationship she has with Henry to deteriorate. There's even one nasty scene where she smacks him, though she quickly regrets it when Henry lashes out in anger and forces his mom to witness a vision of herself being covered in spiders when she was locked in the closet by her abusive parents as a child. In some ways, it reminded me a little of the Norma/Norman Bates relationship from the Psycho series (minus the incest subtext) in how unhealthy it is. It was deeply uncomfortable seeing her attempt to force Henry to be something he wasn't just so she could maintain the image that she and her family were perfect. And when she realized she couldn't do that, she finally tried to wash her hands of Henry the moment Dr. Brenner showed up and offered to take Henry into his care ("Lock him up and throw away the key" to paraphrase one of her comments). I get that this is set in the 50s where there's plenty of values dissonance with how parents raised their kids at that time, and there is some context behind why she was scared of her son and his behavior (because there were times Henry wasn't acting okay), but she still handled this situation poorly and contributed to Henry internalizing his trauma and insecurities until they exploded out of him in the worst possible way. It was bad enough that Henry was dealing with something he didn't understand, but she needlessly added on to those problems.

Alice (Henry's sister) is also in the play, but she only appears in a few brief scenes, and sadly doesn't get a lot of characterization beyond being the "cheerful child" in the family. It's implied she knows that something is wrong with her brother, but doesn't look closely at it. Interestingly, they portray her like she's Henry's younger sister, even though the show established that she's supposed to be older (There's a news article in S4 that claims Henry was 12 and Alice was 15 when the Creel murders happened). Other than that, there isn't really much to say about Alice.

The three main characters (Joyce, Hopper, Bob) have their familiar quirks that will follow them into adulthood: Bob is nerdy, smart, good with technology (which comes in handy in their investigation) and the host of a radio show. Hopper is the disgruntled son of the Chief of Police who's trying to make something of his life. Joyce is high-strung, in a dead-end relationship with Lonnie, and trying to find a balance between optimism and pessimism. In a way, I'm reminded of the Steve/Jonathan/Nancy dynamic we briefly got in the S1 finale, with Joyce having similarities to Nancy, Bob to Jonathan, and Hopper to Steve. This was clearly set up as a love triangle between the 3 of them, and I have to question if the Duffer Brothers deliberately did this to foreshadow what could end up happening between Steve/Jonathan/Nancy in S5. In any case, Joyce, Hopper, and Bob investigate the animal killings when they start to happen, and while they come close to figuring out who it is, they ultimately miss the mark and pin the crime on the wrong person (Poor Victor Creel). Sadly, by that time, it's too late, and both Virginia and Alice Creel are dead.

There is a new character introduced named Patty Newby who plays an important role. She's the adopted sister of Bob and was revealed to have been taken in (or stolen as a child, as Henry later claims) by Bob's father, Principal Newby. Despite his misanthropy and awkward nature, Henry takes an interest in Patty, and the two of them develop genuine affection for one another. When Patty auditions for Joyce's play, Henry helps her with her lines (which leads to both of them getting cast as the main leads), and later feels comfortable enough to share his secret powers with her, including giving her a glamorous vision of starring and singing in a Las Vegas show. Against all odds, I actually found the relationship between Henry and Patty to be cute. Not only did it humanize Henry, but the way it was presented made sense: Both of them are outcasts with deep insecurities that they're trying to work through. Patty feels like an outsider in her family and at school due to her race (which isn't helped by people like Dustin's father making disgustingly bigoted comment towards her during class) and her complicated relationship with her adopted dad, who treats her coldly. Since Henry also feels like an outcast in his family, he's able to empathize with her, and both of them try to encourage the best in one another. In a moment of genuine kindness, Henry helps Patty locate her biological mother (who coincidentally is also a singer), and Patty returns the favor by trying to encourage Henry into believing that he is a good person and that there are positives with his powers.

I know some fans will complain about how Patty was never mentioned on the show even though she's supposed to be adopted siblings with Bob, but I'm not bothered by that. Nothing about her existence contradicts anything on the show, and it was nice to see a redeemable side to Henry that proves he wasn't a complete monster to begin with. The only thing that's harsher in hindsight is that, because Patty and Bob were close growing up, and because of Henry's affection for Patty, it makes what he does to Bob in S2 (i.e. siccing the demodogs on Bob) a lot more vile.

Finally, there's Dr. Brenner himself: If there was ever any doubt that he saw Henry and the other special kids like El as a means to an end, this play erases that. He is at his absolute worst here. Manipulative. Cruel. Determined to push Henry over the edge. Egging Henry into murdering a convicted prisoner, even though Henry fights back against doing that, all so Brenner can test him. Hurling verbal abuse at Henry, and then playing up the "Loving Papa" persona in the same way he would do with El years later. It really says something that he is the most loathsome character in the play, and that he doesn't see Henry as a person so much as a tool.

This was already a given on the show, but I still remember fans who kept making apologies for Brenner's behavior in S4 while insisting he really did care about Henry and the other kids in spite of his abuse of them. 🙄 I always maintained those were garbage apologies, and this play only reinforces that. Even though Henry is ultimately responsible for the choices he makes (regardless of the negative influences in his life), there is an argument to be had that Brenner bears responsibility for destroying whatever remaining goodness Henry had left in him until Henry became the cold, calculating monster with a plethora of rage and a deep hatred for humanity to accompany it.

Part 3: Revelations

For a while now, I've held theories that the powers El, Henry, and the other special kids have had were connected to the Upside Down. These theories were even talked about in my reviews for Stranger Things Six, Stranger Things The Other Side, and Stranger Things Suspicious Minds. I've also speculated on the idea that the Mind Flayer might be its own entity, and that Henry/One/Vecna didn't create it so much as gave it a form when he found those black particles in the Upside Down decades later.

This play confirms those theories: Not only is the Upside Down connected to their powers, but it's revealed in this play that the Mind Flayer acted as a malevolent corrupter to a young Henry, which would later lead to him becoming the monstrous Vecna.

At the beginning of the play, there's a flashback to 1943 where the U.S. military was experimenting with a new technology on the USS Eldridge to create a force field to hide the ship from the Germans during WWII. Interestingly, this bit was based on a real life experiment called "Project Rainbow," and the pamphlet I bought gives more details about it:

In the play, the technology caused the ship to end up in the Upside Down, where most of the crew was slaughtered by Demogorgons. The sole survivor turned out to be Dr. Brenner's father, who came back to the real world with altered blood in his system. He ends up dying, but passed on his secret to his son, kick-starting Brenner's scientific pursuits for the military. In other words: Brenner was aware of the Upside Down long before El banished Vecna to it in 1979.

Fast-forward a few years later. Henry is in Rachel, Nevada, playing in one of the caves with a spyglass when he encounters a rogue scientist who worked under Brenner in Nevada. Brenner had spent years attempting to replicate the experiment on the USS Eldridge in Nevada, and one of his scientists had stolen key technology and fled to the caves. When Henry discovers the technology, it transports both him and the scientist to the Upside Down. The scientist is killed, but Henry gets exposed to a malevolent entity (The Mind Flayer) before he is transported back to this world. Just like with Brenner's father, his blood is altered, and so is his personality. Brenner would later be able to track Henry down due to the spyglass he dropped in the caves after his exposure. In spite of escaping the Upside Down, Henry was now connected to the Mind Flayer, who spends the majority of the play acting as a malicious influence driving Henry to kill, and chipping away at his personality bit-by-bit:

It's not really a spoiler to say Henry is behind the pet killings in Hawkins (since he was shown killing animals on the show), but the difference here is the play makes it ambiguous how much control Henry has over his powers and actions. The Mind Flayer certainly uses Henry as a vessel, but there are moments Henry was shown to be capable of resisting it, indicating there was some manner of agency on Henry's part. In some moments, he chose to drive off the monster, whereas in others (like the deaths of Virginia and Alice Creel), he allowed the monster to work through him.

Like I said, these are theories I've held for a while now, so it felt gratifying to see them validated. While Vecna's monologue to El in 1979 implies that he was always a sociopath with powers who acted on his own accord with no outside influence, it's important to note that Vecna in that scene is an unreliable narrator twisting past events to paint himself a certain way to El. Part of it may be that he doesn't want to admit he was a victim of the Mind Flayer and that he made his own choices (Which is true: He DID have choices and the ability to reject the Mind Flayer, which we see in one scene when the Mind Flayer attacks Patty's father, and Henry intervenes on Patty's behalf to save him). Part of it may be that he's been under the hold of the Mind Flayer for so many years that, by the time El meets him, he's come to believe he and The Mind Flayer are one in the same.

Either way, regardless of what happened, there were a lot of elements stacked against Henry that makes me pity him: The Mind Flayer's influence, Brenner exploiting Henry's powers for his own selfish scientific desires instead of genuinely helping him, his parents trying to force Henry to be normal and shove down his issues instead of taking the time to deal with them..............the only positive thing Henry had going for him was his relationship with Patty. Her determination to see the good in Henry and his powers, and her belief that Henry could rise above the darkness gave some brief salvation for him. Unfortunately, that wasn't enough to save him, and the darkness won in the end.

There is a slight change I was okay with: In the show, Henry mentions that he fell into a coma after killing his mother and sister. While that is true to some extent, he actually wakes up a few hours later and flees the house to go find Patty at the school. He encounters Joyce in the basement (after the power gets knocked out) and, in a scene that's both creepy and sad, he acknowledges that Joyce is a good person and warns her that the world will punish her for it while taking away everything she holds dear. There's a dark irony to his words considering he would later be responsible for the disappearance of her son, the death of Bob, and most of the problems Joyce would later deal with on the show.

Following his encounter with Joyce, Henry finds Patty on an elevated stage platform, and begs her to run away with him. She is basically his last hope at this point, and even that is taken away when Brenner manages to track him and Patty down. There's a whole "Good Angel/Bad Devil" exchange that occurs as Patty (the Angel) implores Henry to fight against The Mind Flayer while Brenner (the Devil) snarls that Henry is already a monster and he might as well accept it. All of this cultivates in Henry using his powers on Patty, having finally surrendered to the Mind Flayer's influence, and throwing her from the rafters, almost killing her. Henry passes out after this, and Brenner takes him back to Hawkins Lab, where he will spend the next 20 years as Brenner's prisoner. Patty manages to survive the fall and, thanks to information Henry gave her earlier, she's able to locate her biological mother in Las Vegas and reunite with her. The last act of redemption Henry would ever have.

These revelations help give context to the mythology of the show. They explain what motivated Dr. Brenner for so many years. They explain the Mind Flayer was well aware of this world, and that Brenner was aware of the Upside Down long before El opened the gate in 1983. They explain Henry already had troubling aspects to begin with, and that his encounter with the Upside Down and the Mind Flayer only amplified those problems. They explain how and why Henry became disillusioned, nihilistic, and angry over the next 2 decades, and how he would project that onto his enemies once he became Vecna. They explain why Henry/One/Vecna takes an interest in certain characters on the show, from El (whose upbringing and struggles are similar to what Henry went through as a child) to Will (who shares similar traits with him as an outcast and a nerd) to even Billy (with both of them projecting their rage onto the world), and went as far as to target them. And, most importantly, it explains how Henry and other special kids like Kali and El got their powers.

This does raise interesting questions that I hope S5 will explore more of:

Since Will was kidnapped and taken to the Upside Down in S1, does this mean his blood type has been altered as well due to his exposure to the Mind Flayer? Does he now possess some kind of power similar to El that we haven't seen yet but might be unveiled in the last season?

And what about the Upside Down freezing in time in 1983? Considering the Upside Down remained consistent as a hellish environment (even after El banished Vecna to it in 1979), this gives the impression that what happened there was an anomaly. I still maintain Will's disappearance had something to do with the altered environment, and I have provided theories for it in my review of Stranger Things The Other Side, but it's still a question that remains unanswered by this play.

And then there's Patty: She does survive, and last we see of Patty is her reuniting with her biological mom, but it's also mentioned she disappeared and that Bob (her adopted brother) misses her and plays songs over his radio podcast in her memory. Did Bob ever find Patty following this, or did he die before that could happen? Does she even remember Bob or Henry, or did the fall (which injured her badly enough that she now walks with a cane) cause her retrograde amnesia? Is it possible S5 might bring her back, and she could have some role in reaching out to Henry/One/Vecna? Is she still alive at this point?

So many questions that I'm hoping S5 provides answers for.

Part 4: Themes

It's no coincidence that the play Joyce produces for the school holds parallels to the tragedy of Henry and Patty's relationship. The Dark of the Moon is a ballad about a "witch boy" named John who falls in love with a human girl named Barbara Allen. He is given a human form on the condition that she remains true to him. Through a series of tragic events (including the death of their child at the hands of religiously-crazed townsfolk), Barbara ends up betraying John, causing him to lose his humanity and become a part of the fog from the place he came from.

If we're drawing direct parallels, it's pretty obvious Henry is John, the "witch boy" embedded with special powers who falls for the human girl, Barbara/Patty. The difference is that the "humanity" of Henry is more metaphorical than literal: He attempts to not give into the monstrous influence of the Mind Flayer, and Patty recognizes this and is determined to help him through the love she gives him. However, the key difference is Patty isn't the one who betrays Henry. If anything, she remains a loyal friend and confidant to Henry (even AFTER Brenner tells her that Henry killed his mother and sister) and desperately tries to convey to Henry that she believes in him and that he can fight off The Mind Flayer. Unfortunately, that proves insufficient, and it's Henry who inflicts the final betrayal on Patty, destroying their relationship, and causing Henry to become prisoner of Dr. Brenner at Hawkins Lab. He is the "witch boy" who returned to where he came from.

It should be noted that the ballad this play is based on contains these final lyrics:

They laid poor Barbra by the old church gate,

With the wild, wild rose growin' nigh her,

And witch boy roamed the mountain high,

'Til mountain fog became him.

And then one morn, before the dawn,

The fog rolled down that mountain,

It came to rest nigh Barbara's rose,

and watered there a briar.

The rose and briar climbed the old church gate,

'Til they could grow no higher,

And there they tied in a true love's knot,

The rose wrapped 'round the briar.

And so a witch and human gal,

Had conquered death eternal,

And 'neath the darkness of the moon,

Their love's entwined forever.

Could this be foreshadowing that, as evil as Henry/One/Vecna has become, there is still a chance at redemption for him through Patty? That whatever love he held for her could bring back Henry's humanity and allow him to overcome the Mind Flayer one last time? They did a similar thing with Billy Hargrove in S3 (with the platonic love he had for his mother), and since love is one of the key forces that's been shown to repel the Mind Flayer, it could work again in Henry's favor if he chooses to take it.

However, a lot of this is tied to whether Henry is capable of remorse or empathy at this point, and considering what we've seen on the show, it's a safe bet to say whatever humanity he had left in him is now gone. I'm doubtful that even if Patty shows up in S5, it'll be enough to redeem Henry. There are some things you can't come back from, and regardless of the negative influences he was dealing with, Henry still had choices, and he chose to hurt others.

In a way, Henry's story reminds me of Coriolanus Snow's arc in The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes: Despite the relationship he has with Lucy Gray Baird, it wasn't enough to cancel out his negative personality traits (narcissism, entitlement, etc) and whatever love he may have had for her isn't enough to redeem him, or prevent him from becoming the tyrant we all know and loathe by the events of The Hunger Games.

Another theme present was the exploration of the adult characters and how the personality traits they had as teens continue well into adulthood. It's been speculated before by various groups of people that, internally, there's a certain point where you stop growing mentally and remain the same age, and that definitely seems to be the case here with some characters. The problem is that while these qualities might have been excusable when they were teenagers, they become less appealing as time goes on:

Ted Wheeler, for example, is depicted in the play as a dumb jock who's clueless most of the time. Fast-forward to the 80s, and he's now an apathetic father who still remains clueless. Not only is this not cute anymore, it's frustrating to his wife and those around him.

Karen Wheeler is depicted in her teens as interested in her youth and beauty and dating Ted BECAUSE he's a hot jock. By the time she's an adult, she's still into that (though she does make more of an effort to be emotionally available to her kids unlike Ted) and her desire for youth and a passionate relationship almost leads her to sleeping with Billy despite the inappropriate age difference between the two. 🤮

Jim Hopper is a younger man with a fractured relationship with his abusive father, and a lot of his motivation is rooted in trying to stick it to his dad and prove that he isn't the loser his father thinks he is. It's why he takes an interest in the animal killings around Hawkins and conducts an investigation similar to how police would do it. It's also why he joins the Vietnam War later (as he would later tell Enzo/Dmitri in S4). Even later becoming the Chief of Police on the show likely has its roots in this. Years later, long after his dad is likely dead, he's still trying to prove him wrong.

Lonnie Byers is depicted as a douchebag, even as a teen, who isn't really interested in making something of his life, who's coasting off other people, and really doesn't have any desire to improve himself. Come Season 1, and is it any surprised he's a deadbeat dad who's divorced from Joyce and still making shitty decisions down the line?

Same goes for Al Munson: The play depicts him as an improv actor who's deeply self-centered, who isn't as good as he thinks he is, and is someone who just annoys everyone around him with his antics. Anyone who's read Flight of Icarus knows he doesn't get any better as an adult, and it has completely wrecked his relationship with his brother Wayne and his son Eddie.

And then there's Dustin's father: "Asshole" is the best term I can use to describe him. He's very belittling and not well-liked (even among his peers), and it doesn't surprise me that Mrs. Henderson (who's also shown to be a cat-lover as a teenager) would eventually split with him and raised Dustin on her own.

There are a few positives though: Both Charles and Sue Sinclair come out of the play as decent people, and Sue is shown to be a loyal friend to Joyce, helping Joyce to get her play organized. I can see why they ended up together, and I maintain both Lucas and Erica are lucky to have them as parents.

The overall point is, like with Henry (who also never really grew up, and is now an angry kid trapped in the body of a 30-something adult), there is a theme that change is a process you have to work on. All of these characters (including Henry) have their own flaws they have to work through, and it is a choice about whether you put in the hard work of overcoming those flaws, or you surrender to them and let them dictate your life and stilt your growth. It's always an uphill battle, and it's never easy, but when the alternative is hurting the people around you, I would argue it's worth the effort for their sake.

Final Thoughts:

While there is some leeway between how events in the play can be interpreted, there is one tiny retcon that was hard to ignore: Henry's age. In the show, it's specifically mentioned in the newspaper article that Nancy and Robin look up that Henry was 12 when Virginia and Alice Creel were killed. However, this play retcons his age to being 14 years old. My guess is this was likely done so that Henry would be a freshman, and therefore able to attend Hawkins High School with Joyce, Hopper, Bob, and the other characters. While I don't mind this retcon for story purposes, it still sticks out like a sore thumb, and I wish the Duffer Brothers would take better care with details like that, especially after what happened in S4 with Will's birthday being forgotten.

There is a pamphlet for 10€ that they sell at the Phoenix Theater that gives more information about the play, its cast, and the central ideas behind the story. You can even see it in the picture above with the other memorabilia I collected (next to the t-shirts I bought). If you're going to see the play, I highly recommend purchasing it. It's worth the money.

Overall, this was a well-written play that I'm willing to accept as canon. I hope the events in this play are referenced in S5, and have a role in how the show's story unfolds. I highly recommend getting a ticket for anyone who is a Stranger Things fan! :)

[flymetosnarryland]

A little progress.

I'm working on "Infraction." My precious baby, uh. This art is part of it in a way. Eileen Prince and Tobias Snape. When people are falling in love everything seems easy, but then life happen.

(I'd like to talk about how things are going with Infraction.)

I'm back on it since couple of weeks and working on it is intense (my brain is literally boiling). I don't think I ever planned a story for that long. The first idea has born 6th January this year. I was writing down (like crazy) everything I wanted to be in this fic. During first months it was chaotic and messy, but brought me so much joy. When I've had everything that (I thought) I needed, I wrote first chapters, yeah. And then shared them, because was so excited about all of it and just couldn't wait. Gosh.

Now I... hm... well, maybe not "regret" it, but I think, I totally should have wait. Why is that? First thing first, this story is not ready yet for being written in, you know, final version. It's too fat, lol.

I may want too much from it. There is a lot, like, seriously, A LOT of things to cover. First notes took me around 80 pages and it had many gaps in it (too much if you ask me). Things I needed to figure out and fill in, in the same time making everything work together. Because this Snarry is not sprinkled with crime. It's filled with murder, political shenanigans, family shiteshow and tough, not always appropriate, love. There are secrets and lies, blackmails and history that matter. Backstory of many people, whose actions over the years supposed to bring us to the point where we are now. And, you know, all of it gives me the thrill. First time in my life I feel like a true Puppet Master.

So, couple weeks ago I started to write a proper outline, if I can call it like that. To put everything in order and, going from the very beginning, to fill all the gaps. To answer all the questions I was asking myself in notes. To figure out the missing clues, some details without I couldn't go further and with that - to find out how characters will change facing new situations. How they will grow (I really love this part). Sometimes I think, "why am I even doing it?" I could just write some cosy, little fic where Harry and Severus' silly problems would be the main goal of the story. Like, focusing on them should be enough, right? Why am I going for all the other things, if I just want them to shag and have their happy end after all? 😂

Well, if it's not for fun, I don't know the other reason. The level of excitement is just incredible. I don't know, if what I'm writing is good or bad. If it really has sense, because I've always seen myself rather as a potato, not as a great mastermind who can plot some good shite, you know. That said, "Infraction" feels even more challenging that I ever thought it will be. But I feel deep inside that I can do it. Going step by step where the main plan leads and... it just feels good.

I've started in October 1989. Now I'm in January 2011. It means that I managed to finish everything that happen before the fic starts, lol. And, actually, I almost covered the first part of the book. So, two more to go? Hehe. It'll take time, yes. It's crazy how much I want to continue writing the main chapters, not only swim in the plan-phase. Drawing the series of "Muggle London" art helped me a lot with easing this itch. However, it's still there. I know, though, that I have to finish it. The whole outline, I mean. Without it, things can go south.

That said, I can't tell how long it will take. Couple weeks? Maybe months. This is really... a lot of work and I want to be proud of it. Even more so, because this fic means a lot to me. I know it may not be, you know, mind blowing or something. But I hope that giving it all my love, it could be, you know, not that bad for reading, hehe.

[open-hearth-rpg]

“Why Do Your Actual Play Videos Look Like Ass?”

ROUGH BUT FAIR

I got asked this, albeit indirectly, back in January. At the New Year’s Open Hearth Community meeting someone relayed they’d heard this comment about our Actual Play videos. This referred to not just my channel, but our community collection of actual plays built up over eight+ years. 

It’s a lot of sessions. A lot of games. My stuff alone is over 1000 sessions over dozens of systems. 

And it’s a fair question. They might stumbled on to one of our video roundups or seen a session shared. I can understand their reaction, especially if they’ve watched heavily produced and edited videos like those from Critical Role or Dimension20. Or even if they’ve followed one of the many talented teams who stream on Twitch or elsewhere with seasons, transitions, and nice visual templates. They’re all great watches– especially streams featuring indie games and diverse casts.

So what’s up with us?

Answering that question takes a little bit of set up and explanation. 

The short answer: You know that reliable YouTube repair video recorded on a phone by someone in their garage? That’s us. 

The long answer…

WHAT THE WHAT IS OPEN HEARTH?

We’re an online tabletop rpg community. We’ve been around in some form since 2016. Game facilitators post series and sessions on our calendar and people can sign up there. Every game’s run under our code of conduct and has to use a layered set of safety tools. Our GMs teach any rules and while we lean into indie and storygames, we also have folks who love OSR and more trad-leaning games (like my runs of 2d20, GUMSHOE, Imperium Maledictum, 13th Age, and the like). 

We have a patreon which gives backers a 48 hour window to sign up for sessions before they’re open generally. But we also have folks running games specifically for new players which set that aside. We’re always looking for ways to get new folks into sessions– like the open gaming events we do a couple of times each year. After folks have played with us a couple of times, they’re welcome to post their own sessions and series. We also do irregular “Game Facilitator Camps” to help people learn and polish their online GMing skills. 

Since the beginning some of our GMs have videos of our sessions and collecting those on our YouTube channel. Game facilitators mention in their event description if they plan to record. Not all sessions are recorded and posted. It’s not a requirement. In most cases, players can say they’d rather not be recorded– and in all cases a GM needs to confirm before posting any session publicly. For example a couple of times I’ve had folks ask for me to trim out personal info or emotionally fraught moments from a session. 

All of these recordings are rough. They’re the raw play of the session: unedited and wysiwyg. I’m recording from Zoom, some folks use Streamyard, and a small group of the more technically savvy use OBS+. On occasion I remember to pause the recording over breaks or during character creation when everyone’s tooling away on their sheets. But generally it’s like sitting in the room while someone’s running a home game. They’re messy, mostly on topic, trying to get to grips with the rules, figuring things out together. 

And I love it for that. They’re not polished. A comment made in connection with that “why do your APs look terrible?” question suggested we were some kind of ‘elite gaming association.’ I fear that impression might come from my posting a lot of game thinking, history, and analysis in our social media feeds. 

The truth is that I post those things in a desperate bid to have content. In our community we mostly talk about what games we’re playing and what games we want to play.

Bottom line: we’re a bunch of folks getting together to play our elf-games, make silly voices, and try to tell fun stories together. We’re trying to do that in a way that’s inclusive, takes safety seriously, and evolves over time. 

So why post actual play videos in such a state? I have some answers, in order from most important or probably least important…

FIVE REASONS

First, these videos shows how a particular game actually works at the table. Our community plays a lot of different games– I’d argue one of the largest collections of different systems. It serves as a great resource if you’re curious about a game, setting, or system. Most of us who record include our session zero as well as play sessions. So you get to see what’s involved with that, how to manage set up, and the kinds of collaboration which happens. You also see, warts and all, the rough patches and stumbling blocks. 

For example, I love Hearts of Wulin, but building Entanglements takes a lot of work during character creation. Don’t get me wrong: it's also the most important. Entanglements up the conflicts and plots you’re going to explore. But it requires you to both do some heavy creative work and listen to the other players at the same time. Sometimes I manage that phase really well– sometimes I forget that it has a higher cognitive load. Then I have to lean in and help folks navigate creating those. 

In a similar way, our AP illustrate the flow of play. What does resolution involve? How long does combat take? Where do folks get bogged down? That’s useful and can tell you if this is a game you’d be comfortable playing or running. Beyond that you get to see how much people seem to be enjoying and engaging with it. We present the naked truth of the game. All the rough edges remain and I think that’s great. It’s not for everyone— especially if you like a more polished presentation.

Second, you get to see safety tools in action. If you want to know how GMs carefully present a layered set of safety tools, watch a couple of session zeros. Different game facilitators will approach this in different ways, but we stress that GMs explain and actually implement a couple of tools. In my case I use Lines & Veils as a baseline, the X-Card as a reactive tool for resetting & calibration, and Open Door so folks know they aren’t trapped in a game. You can see how these tools don’t present a burden, don’t get in the way, and do enhance play. It reduces some of the worry people may have about joining a group of strangers online. It isn’t perfect, but these tools offer a baseline. I’m a white dude with all the privilege that brings, but I wouldn’t join in a random online game unless I knew tools like those were in place. 

Third, like other online streaming games: curated, edited, or otherwise, you get to see good GMs and players in action. It’s a great way to learn and pick things up. Not necessarily the full-on art of theater and improvisational acting, but what good play looks like. How you move the spotlight around. How you work to bring others into your scenes. How you collaborate to build a setting and vibe. How you handle end of session debriefs and feedback. That’s useful and, I think, confidence building. 

Fourth, and more selfishly, these videos are a decent advertisement for our community. It’s a decent and cheap way for us to keep our name out there. Beyond the videos, as I mentioned above, people can listen to these sessions as podcasts now. It’s also a way for us to boost the work of designers. It’s not a review, comment, or five stars but it does show how much we’ve enjoyed a particular game. I always dig it when I see designers resharing sessions, I hope it helps them increase their audience. 

Fifth, I like having those videos out there because they celebrate our GMs. They’re the engine of our community: folks who enjoy running games and put in the effort to entertain and engage a group of folks. We have amazing game facilitators and what strikes me is how different their approaches can be. I learn something new whenever I play with another GM here.

But on a related note, I will admit that I like having cover for my vanity. By placing my sessions alongside others, I manage to conceal how much my posting these sessions is an act of ego. I’m more than a little vain about my GMing.  

STARS AND WISHES

Overall we hope to be a useful and accessible resource for folks playing ttrpgs online. We hope folks will find their place in this hobby. If someone comes and plays with us, that’s great, but we’re more interested in just getting people to play anywhere. 

If you want to check out our collection of Actual Play Sessions, like and subscribe to our YouTube channel.

If you’re interested in just listening to sessions, you can subscribe to our podcast.

If you want to see the Playabl calendar app we use for organizing

If you want to find out more about our community, see here. 

We have Discord we’re working to do more with.

[simpforchuchu]

A HELPFULL GUIDE TO THE RAMPAGE FROM EXILE TRIBE BY CHU-CHU

Hi Guys! I see that there are many new Rampage fans - Ravers - among us and I would like to introduce the members to you. Other than formal group information, some of it will be my own opinions. You can easily find other official informations about the group on the web. Rather, I want to share with you how I see each member, what impression they made on me, and what I liked or found interesting about them. So please keep in mind that these are my opinions. And of course, I'm not a very old fan either. There may be things I don't know or misunderstand. You can share with me what you want to add or correct 💜

-I am also sharing with you some blogs that I know who is posting about Exile Tribe/The Rampage. You can check them out too 💜I will continue to introduce the members when I have time :') I hope you like it :D 💜

@ataryutaro @banqanas @elenilote @fextsubs @rainisawriter @rowdyshogun @thistaleisabloodyone @zhaolusi (Hope I didn't forget anyone :( )

The Rampage

A Japanese dance & vocal boy group formed and managed by LDH JAPAN.

16 members: 3 vocalists and 13 performers. 

They made their major debut on January 25, 2017 with the single “Lightning”.

Fandom name: Ravers ( RAmpage loVERS)

Formation: September 12, 2014

Debut: January 25, 2017

Genres: J-pop, hip hop, dance pop

Leaders: Likiya and Zin

16 Members: Likiya, Zin, Riku, Kenta, Rui, Yamasho, Kazuma, Hokuto, Iwasho, Shohei, Itsuki,Kaisei, Makoto, Ryu, Takahide and Takuma

And yes they have a hip-hop sub-unit : Ma55ive the Rampage (Likiya, Kenta,Yamasho, Shohei, Takahide)

I also didn’t know this part;

At the beginning it was unclear how many and which candidates would be chosen for the group's final line-up, the members later described the time as a desperate, harsh and stressful "survival situation". According to Kawamura Kazuma, the three vocalists were especially tense and taking the situation very seriously, thinking that one of them was going to be cut, due to the fact that LDH only had a two-vocalist system for all of their boy groups at that point.

But luckily they were all chosen :’)

However, while they were training for their debut in the public eye, the members later revealed that the group had been struggling behind the scenes and actually went on a hiatus the year after they were formed until their debut. Several members mentioned that they considered quitting during that time as it was mentally and physically difficult.Also Fujiwara Itsuki revealed that the members had also been working as staffs of the company behind the scenes in that time period, for example as tour staff for senior groups, or in Fujiwara's case, as staff of EXPG schools.

June 16 had been chosen as "RAVERS DAY". This specific date was selected because it is the only month out of the year that does not have a member's birthday, and because the number "16" is important to the group :D

During the first five years, all members of the group lived together in a dormitory.There were four rooms, and four members lived in each room, sharing bunk beds. Each room also had a room manager.

-I don't plan to mention TV series, movies, awards, songs, albums or tours. I get most of the information from Exile Tribe Wiki, you can read more there :’)

MEMBERS

1) LIKIYA : Elliot Likiya (エリオット·力矢)

Born: November 28, 1990 (age 32)

Birth Place: Aomori Prefecture, Japan

Height: 170 cm (5 ft 6.9 in)

Zodiac Sign: Sagittarius

Emoji: 👨‍🍳

Leader and performer of THE RAMPAGE and a rapper in MA55IVE THE RAMPAGE.

DAD of the group

He may look serious but he is literally a cinnamon roll

I love Likiya, with his style, personality, sweetness and everything

Someone who is frequently teased by other members

When group members were asked who they would like to date, most of them chose Likiya.

Also, Elly from Sandaime J SOUL BROTHERS is his older brother. That's why he said that he was often compared to him and that he was flustured.

According to Wiki;

He participated in the EXILE PERFORMER BATTLE AUDITION, but did not make it to the finals.

LIKIYA's father is Carlos Elliot, a former professional boxer and LIKIYA started practicing boxing as a hobby.

He loves basketball and cooking. That's why his emoji is a cook. 👨‍🍳

Described as a calm, quiet and very reliable person with a strong sense of leadership. According to his members, he also has a mischievous side and occasionally makes a joke to calm the mood.

In charge of the choreography of THE RAMPAGE.

He is very good at cooking. His skills are so good that he even invented his own curry, "Likiya-man's Indian Spinach Curry" (リキヤ～マンのインド風ほうれん草カレー), which is actually sold in Japan. In 2020's first broadcast of "RMPG DOPE STATION", he talked about his dream of appearing on a cooking show.

His favorite color is white. He collects white clothes and white things, and most of his furniture and accessories are white.

2) ZIN : Sakamoto Zin (坂本陣)

Born: April 28, 1994 (age 29)

Birth Place: Osaka, Osaka Prefecture, Japan

Height: 178 cm (5 ft 10 in)

Zodiac Sign:  Taurus

Emoji:🐴

Leader and performer of THE RAMPAGE

MOM of the group

I LOVE HIS SMILE <3 HIS SMILE IS SO PRETTY <3

He is really like a mom even to the older members. He is fun, funny and really so cute. And I really love when he talks :’)

Probably the one who gets bullied the most

He is one of the tall members

According to Wiki;

He participated in the EXILE PERFORMER BATTLE AUDITION, but did not make it to the finals.

Described as a good talker, mood-maker and hard worker. His members appreciate his cheerfulness, responsibility and communication skills.Additionally, he is also described as compassionate, tearful and a bit clumsy. Because of his friendliness, he is often teased even by the younger members.

Usually takes the lead when it comes to interviews and has a natural talent for hosting live performances and events

Didn't like his smile very much for a long time, but after he joined THE RAMPAGE, people started to tell him that he has a nice smile, which changed his view. :’)

Has a cat named "Luky".

Likes the manga Jujutsu Kaisen.

His favorite color is red.

3) RIKU: Aoyama Riku (青山陸)

Born: August 10, 1994 (age 29)

Birth Place: Asaka, Saitama Prefecture, Japan

Height: 174 cm (5 ft 8.5 in)

Zodiac Sign: Leo

Emoji: 🐶

Maybe you think Rampage’s only vocalists are Kazuma and Hokum but no. This handsome man is a vocalist too and he has an amazing voice…

He is really good at teasing and annoying people and a bit savage.

He has that prince vibe and has a really charming visual.

His English is pretty good and wants to speak English to reach international fans &lt;3

IwaSho and him are close friends

He likes going GYM… really…

He loves playing soccer and really good at it 

He really loves children and A RIKU WITH KIDS ALL YOU NEED BELIEVE IN ME :’)

According to Wiki;

A very good dancer and known for his ability to dance with the same level of sharpness as a performer while singing stably.

Initially viewed his high-pitched voice as a complex. He is often jokingly imitated and teased by the members for it and he consciously keeps his voice low in magazine interviews.

Taught himself how to play the piano.His first keyboard was gifted to him by SHOKICHI.

Often compared to a golden retriever due to his cheerful, communicative, clumsy and soft nature and muscular physique.

Went to an all-boys high school for six years.

Always keeps a list of restaurants that interest him on his smartphone.

He has a friendly rivarly with KAZUKI and Sato Taiki, who attended EXPG Tokyo at the same time as him.Initially, he felt inferior to KAZUKI, which motivated him to practice harder.

His favorite color is pink.

Used to be the centre of the group, but the position was reappointed to Kawamura Kazuma.

4) KENTA: Kamiya Kenta (神谷健太) 

Born: May 27, 1995 (age 28)

Birth Place: Okinawa Prefecture, Japan

Height: 170 cm (5 ft 6.9 in)

Zodiac Sign: Gemini

Emoji: 🐿️

Performer of THE RAMPAGE and a rapper in MA55IVE THE RAMPAGE.

Even though he is a performer and rapper, he has great vocals. And I'm so happy ma55ive used him as vocals &lt;3

He's funny, sweet and entertaining

I think he has a flirty personality

He and Rui are childhood friends and very close friends. (But he'll never admit it)

He has interesting and funny drunk memories...

He has a lot of questionable (in a good way) behavior and always makes me laugh

He's one of the oldest members but he definitely doesn't act like one :D

When he was a kid, he wanted to be a FBI Agent but I think he still does :D

According to Wiki;

He participated in the EXILE PERFORMER BATTLE AUDITION but didn't made to the finals.

In 2013, he was introduced as a member of the trainee group EXILE GENERATIONS.

He has a childhood friendship with fellow group mate Yonamine Rui

Him and Yonamine Rui together are called the "Haisai Duo" or "Haisai Combi". They are from the same hometown and the first students from EXPG Okinawa to join LDH.

Described as a mysterious and quiet person. He says about himself: "I'm not a loner, but I'm a free spirit and have my own pace". However, he also has a playful side characterized by strange moves, peculiar laughter, and eccentric worldview.

Has a curious nature and likes to try new things.

His favorite artists are Michael Jackson and Chris Brown.

In 2017, at the start of the group's first solo tour THE RAMPAGE LIVE TOUR 2017-2018 "GO ON THE RAMPAGE", he launched a video corner called "The Two Who Can't Talk" (しゃべれない2人) together with Fujiwara Itsuki in order to improve their talking skills. :D

According to his members, he is always late in his private life.

His favorite color is black.

[quinn-of-aebradore]

Essek Thelyss is many things: a master of dunamancy, a scholar of the arcane renowned across Exandria, and rather skilled when it comes to the theft of magical artifacts. The third, unfortunately, puts him in the path of Caleb Widogast, another talented thief. When social circumstance pushes them to complete their latest heist together, Essek finds his carefully maintained house of cards beginning to crumple and his orbit drawn ever closer to Caleb's.

Hello my friends! January is always a very slow month in terms of writing for me, so today I bring you something I've actually had written for a while; my Shadowgast Criminal AU! Originally, the plan was for it to be one long oneshot, but I've decided to make it a series instead, of which this is the first installment! I adore this AU to no end, it is chock full of shenanigans and flirty Shadowgast nonsense. I sincerely hope you enjoy it 💜💜💜💜

[justinspoliticalcorner]

Dean Obeidallah at The Dean's Report:

In two interviews released this week, Donald Trump made it clear that he will only accept the results of the 2024 election if he wins. And even more alarming, Trump—as he did in 2020 —is beginning the process of radicalizing his supporters to commit another Jan 6 type attack if he loses. Before we get into Trump’s comments, please understand that none of this should come as a surprise. After all, Trump attempted a coup and the incited the deadly Jan 6 attack on our Capitol yet he walks free almost three and a half years later.  When a corrupt person like Trump is not swiftly held accountable for his crimes, he will not change his conduct. In fact, he will be emboldened to engage in that same conduct—if not worse.

That is why for years I was slamming Attorney General Merrick Garland in both articles and on cable news for his failure to promptly charge Trump with crimes. At the very least, Garland should have appointed a Special Counsel to investigate Trump for Jan 6 related crimes as soon as he was sworn in as AG in March 2021.  But instead—as we know from reporting—Garland slow walked the investigation into Trump. Consequently, Trump is the 2024 GOP presidential nominee and if he wins in November, he will escape accountability for his federal crimes.

That bring us to Trump’s recent interviews where he is copying his 2020 playbook to both delegitimize the election results if he loses and prepare his supporters for violence on his behalf. On Wednesday, in an interview with the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel while in Wisconsin for a rally, Trump was asked if he would accept the results of the 2024 election. As the Journal Sentinel noted, Trump “did not commit to accepting the results of the 2024 election.” Rather, he stated, “If everything's honest, I'll gladly accept the results.”  But Trump then added ominously, “If it's not, you have to fight for the right of the country." Trump saying his supporters have to “fight” if he loses instantly conjures up what he said after the 2020 election to radicalize his supporters to ultimately wage the Jan 6 terrorist attack. In fact, at the rally on Jan 6 before the attack, the crowd’s war cry was, “Fight for Trump!” And Trump bellowed the word “fight” or “fighting” to that riled up MAGA crowd 20 times before they waged the actual attack.

Trump made these same points in his series of Time interviews released this week.  When asked about the potential of political violence, Trump should have made it clear given Jan 6, he rejects it and calls on his supporters to do the same. In fact, he should have mimicked the words of President Biden in 2022 on this very issue: “I want to say this plain and simple: There is no place for political violence in America.  Period.  None.  Ever.” Trump didn’t. Instead, when Trump was first asked by the reporter: “Are you worried about political violence in connection with this November's election?” Trump responded, “I think we're gonna have a big victory. And I think there will be no violence.”

The reporter then pressed Trump in a follow up interview on the point: “On our last conversation you said you weren't worried about political violence in connection with the November election. You said, “I think we're going to win and there won't be violence.” What if you don't win, sir?” To that Trump said, “I do think we're gonna win. We're way ahead. I don't think they'll be able to do the things that they did the last time, which were horrible.”  But alarmingly he then added, “And if we don't win, you know, it depends. It always depends on the fairness of an election.”

[...] If there had not been a Jan 6 attack, we could dismiss Trump’s words as being nothing more than overheated campaign rhetoric. But we can’t.  As the  Jan 6 House committee’s final report put it: “The central cause of January 6th was one man, former President Donald Trump, whom many others followed. None of the events of January 6th would have happened without him.” 

In recent interviews with both Time and the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel, Donald Trump ominously hinted at a repeat of what happened during 2020 elections aftermath if he doesn't win: more election denial and violence incitement.

[mads-nixon]

Epiphany Pt. 15: Right Where You Left Me

Lewis Nixon x Reader

Masterlist

Series Masterlist

Song Inspo: right where you left me: taylor swift

A/N: thank you to everyone who has been so supportive during the time between updates. y'all keep me going. this is about the fictional portrayal of easy company on the show. nothing but love and respect for veterans on this blog!

Word Count: 4.4k

Summary: (Y/n) and the men of Easy are forced to deal with the aftermath of the shelling that killed Muck and Penkala.

Warnings: major character death, grief, emotionally heavy

JANUARY 10, 1945: BOIS JACQUES, BELGIUM: 2000HRS

The wind and snow whipped through their dimly lit tent as Lew and Dick sat bundled up. Their breath hung in the frigid air as they discussed Easy’s situation and planned for the impending assault on Foy.

“Have you heard anything from the line?” Lew asked Dick quietly, his voice barely audible over the howl of the wind.

Dick’s expression fell as he shook his head, his eyes reflecting his concern. “No, but I have a bad feeling about it.”

The echoes of the recent shelling reverberated in Lew’s mind, and he couldn't help but think of (y/n) out there in harm’s way. Hours had ticked by, and an eerie silence had descended over the forest, leaving them with no updates.

Winters sipped his lukewarm coffee, the dim light casting dancing shadows across his weary face. “Dike should be reporting in soon.”

“Should be,” Nix scoffed, his voice heavy with skepticism. “We’ll see if he actually does.”

Another hour crept by, marked by only the distant cries of winter winds. As they waited, the faint crunching of snow reached their ears from outside, a sound that sent a shiver down their spines. The voice calling out was not Dike’s, and the tension in the tent thickened. 

Dick, with a weary look, exchanged a silent glance with Nix before nodding to the approaching figure. “Come in, Shames.”

The lieutenant entered, his face wearing a somber expression. He removed his helmet and ran a gloved hand through his disheveled hair. His behavior told them all they needed to know: they’d lost someone.

Winters’ voice trembled in the cold and unease as he asked, “Ed, what’s the word?”

Shames sighed deeply, his gaze falling to the snow-dusted floor. “We lost two men to a direct hit.”

Lew’s heart sank as he asked, “Who?”

His response was a heavy blow, laden with sorrow. “Muck and Penkala.”

The room fell silent as the news struck them like a physical blow. Alex and Skip, two beloved Toccoa men who had been a part of Easy from the very beginning, were gone. 

Lew knew she was suffering, and he knew she needed him.

Dick sent a despondent glance at Nix, whose hands sat on his hips with his brow furrowed in thought, eyes drifting to the floor. He knew exactly what was going through his friend’s head, and he thanked Shames quietly before dismissing him.

“Go,” Winters whispered, breaking the torrent of thoughts racing through Lew’s mind. He nodded and exited the tent, grabbing his helmet from a nearby table.

Pausing at the entrance, he turned back toward Dick. “I don’t know when I’ll be back. It just depends…” His words trailed off, unwilling to verbalize the fears haunting his thoughts. If the horrors stayed in his head, they were somehow a secret, but once spoken, it was as if they would magically appear before him.

“I know,” Dick replied quietly. 

With a slow nod, Nix tried to push down his anxiety and stepped out into the snowfall. Ice crunched beneath his boots as he walked a few steps, the distant rumble of a jeep and a voice filling the air.  

“Captain Nixon, sir!”

The interruption drew an exasperated groan from Lew as he spun to face a short figure bundled in winter gear, hopping out of the jeep.

“What?” Lew griped, wanting to reach (y/n) as soon as possible. The only way he knew the man was even the slightest bit cold was from the tinge of red on the tip of his nose. The only people dressed like that came from Regimental HQ. Lew looked at his sleeve. 

Private.

The boy cleared his throat quietly and seemed to shrink under Nix’s scrutinizing gaze. “You’re needed at Regiment, sir.”

“Okay thanks,” Lew retorted, resuming his walk toward the line. “I’ll come when I get the chance.”

Undeterred, the private pursued him through the snow. “Sir! The General said he needed you immediately…it’s about the attack on Foy. ”

Lew froze mid-step, his heart conflicted between the woman he loved and his responsibilities. Knowing (y/n), he knew she was probably drowning in her grief, and he wanted nothing more than to be there with her, holding her and telling her everything would be okay. The reality, however, was that they were in a warzone where hundreds of men relied on their clearheadedness and decision-making.

Lew quickly turned back to the tent. “Dick!”

The redhead came running out, his rifle up and heart pounding. “What?” he said breathlessly, scanning the forest around them.

“I’ve been called up to Regiment. Apparently, it can’t wait, so would you-,” Nix paused, his voice soft, heavy with emotion. “Dick, can you please check on her?”

Winters nodded solemnly, placing a reassuring hand on Nixon’s shoulder. “Of course. When should I tell her you’ll be back?”

“I don’t know,” Lew sighed. “I’ll be back as soon as I can. Thank you, Dick.”

Storming toward the waiting jeep, Lew tried to supress the rising tide of emotions. He cursed under his breath and jumped in the jeep, throwing his belongings in the back seat and slamming the passenger door shut.

“Let’s go, Private!” He called out, his voice heavy with annoyance as he motioned for the boy to get into the Jeep. “We haven’t got all day!”

Snapping out of it, he quickly climbed in and held his hand to his helmet, keeping it from flying off in his frantic movements. “Yes sir.”

As they sped away, Lew’s gaze lingered in the direction of the line, his heart heavy at the thought of leaving (y/n). He didn’t know how long it would be until he returned, but he did know the first place he would go once he did.

Lip had already been on his way to see Captain Winters when his runner reached the Sergeant. He was concerned for the men, especially (y/n) and Malarkey, and it seemed Dick shared the thought.

“How are they doing?” Winters asked, ushering Lip into the tent.

“Well, if I’m honest, sir…not good.” Car shook his head gently with a sigh. “Malark is somewhat alright, but (y/n)...she’s struggling. She’s telling everyone she’s fine, but she’s barely eating and we all hear her crying at night, sir. Luz has been sitting with her, but her arm combined with Muck and Penkala…I don’t know how much more she can take.”

“That’s what I was afraid of,” Dick whispered, running a hand over his tired face. He couldn’t bear seeing another one of his men break like Buck had, and if it was (y/n), the Captain knew Lewis wouldn’t be far behind. “How’s everyone else holding up?”

“Hurting, sir, but we’re tough. We’ll get through it.”

Winters nodded, “Thank you, Carwood. Keep an eye on (y/l/n) and Malarkey. We can’t afford to lose them. If (y/n) doesn’t get better within the next day or so…”

“I understand. Have you seen Captain Nixon, sir?” Lip asked, his eyes checking the nearby area for eavesdroppers.

“Nix is at Regiment,” Winters began, “But he’ll be back as soon as he can. Have someone to stay with (y/n) until he can get out there.”

“Yes, sir,” Lip saluted, exiting the tent into the frigid air. On his walk back to the line, he lit up a cigarette, its heat seeming to warm him up slightly.

Everyone was concerned for Don and (y/n); if each man was honest, they didn’t know how much they could stand. The cold, the death, the total desolation…it weighed on each of them, pulling them underwater until nothing could be seen but darkness. Some hit their breaking point sooner than others, and it seemed that (y/n) was on the brink of hitting hers. When even George couldn’t get through to the corporal, Lip knew that there was only one other person who had a chance: Captain Lewis Nixon, who happened to be away at Regiment at the time (y/n) needed him the most. Carwood had a feeling Nix didn’t leave by choice, but it didn’t change the fact that he was there, and she was stuck on the line.

Arriving back at the front, Lip sighed, seeing (y/n) in the same position as when he’d left. George sat beside her, a comforting arm over her shoulder as he talked to her. As Lip neared them, he caught the conversation. 

“My ma always had her hands full with us kids. I have 9 siblings, ya know, so we were always causin’ problems around the house,” George chuckled, peering down at (y/n)’s solemn face. “My little sisters…they are something else. Victoria is five years older than Marion, but you wouldn’t know that if you heard them fight. Mary thinks she’s just as big as Vic, and it’s the funniest thing. Sometimes my ma would have me break them up and I’d get a kick to the nuts or my hair pulled out.”

He expected at least a breathy sigh from the woman, but he got nothing but a nod in response. (Y/n)’s gaze stayed unmoving on the no man’s land between their line and the Germans. George’s heart sank, feeling like he had lost three friends instead of two that day. (Y/n) had become a shadow of herself, only speaking when necessary, never smiling, laughing, or showing any emotion. 

Luz saw Lip in the corner of his eye and his brows furrowed, noticing the absence of the Captain they were looking for. He whispered a quick, “I’ll be back,” before hopping out of the hole and walking over to Lip.

“Where is he, sir?” George asked, his face falling.

Carwood shook his head sadly, “Regiment. Winters said he doesn’t know when he’ll be back.”

“Well, what do we do until then?”

Looking over George’s shoulder at (y/n)’s silhouette, Lip quietly sighed. “I’ll keep an eye on Malarkey. I may have an idea of how to help Don, but until Captain Nixon gets back, stay with (y/n).”

(Y/n) could hear them speaking in the distance, but she couldn’t bring herself to care. Skip and Alex’s faces haunted her thoughts, but her mind refused to fully process the reality of their absence. Instead, it replayed the moment the world shattered around them…the moment their calls for her stopped.

The memory was etched in painful detail. The explosion, the smoke, and their frantic cries all played on a loop in her mind. She could almost feel the shockwaves reverberating through her body as she shell struck, the ground shaking beneath her. Skip and Alex, forever frozen in her mind, screamed her name in desperate unison.

Now in the aftermath, (y/n) moved through the camp like a ghost. The condolences from fellow soldiers and sympathetic glances seemed distant, unable to penetrate the barrier she had erected around her shattered heart. Her eyes, once vibrant, were dull and haunted, reflecting the pain she refused to articulate. 

Others offered words of solace, but they fell on deaf ears. She mechanically responded, nodding or offering a vacant smile, but her thoughts remained ensnared in that moment of destruction. She traced the lines of Skip’s teasing smile and Alex’s infectious laughter in the recesses of her memory, clinging to the echoes of their friendship. 

Deep down, the pain threatened to engulf her, a tempest that raged within. Yet, for now, she chose the numbness, a fragile sanctuary protecting her from the brutal truth that her world had irrevocably changed.

In the midst of her self-imposed solitude, there was one figure who remained immune to the barricades she had built: Lew. The mere thought of him had the power to unravel the carefully crafted walls, and the prospect of seeing him on the line left her with conflicting emotions. 

If (y/n) were to catch even a glimpse of Nix in her periphery, she knew the world she had shut out would rush back in a torrent. His presence had an uncanny ability to cut through the numbness and stir the dormant ache within her. The idea of facing Lewis meant confronting the vulnerability she had skillfully concealed from the prying eyes of sympathy and condolences. She knew the moment their eyes met, the floodgates would open, and the pain she’d been holding at bay would surge forth, drowning her in a sea of sorrow. 

In her heart, she longed for his presence, for the peace and comfort she found in his arms. Yet, the fear of crumbling under the weight of grief in front of him held her back. (Y/n) grappled silently with the paradox of seeking refuge in the one person who could unravel her defenses, torn between the need for solace and the instinct to shield herself from further heartache.

George slipped back into the foxhole, assuming his previous position as (y/n) quickly wiped a single tear that had leaked from her eye. Thankfully, he seemed to miss the subtle movement, throwing his arm over her shoulders once again.

“Hey, (y/n/n),” Luz began, squeezing her shoulder gently. “Have I ever told you about the disaster that was Victoria’s Festa de 15 años?”

To his surprise, she looked up at him and spoke softly. “No.”

A wide smile broke out on George’s face as he began telling the beloved story. Little did he know that she only responded to ease his worries for her. She’d faked a brave face before, and she’d do it again.

In a dimly lit room at Regimental Headquarters, the atmosphere was tense with the weight of the impending attack. Nixon, though physically present, was mentally miles away, lost in thoughts of (y/n) and the frontline. 

As Colonel Sink led the briefing, Lew found it difficult to focus. The maps and strategies seemed distant echoes compared to the vivid images of the person he needed to see. His watch became a constant companion, each tick amplifying his yearning to return. 

Colonel Sink, observant of Nix’s restlessness, interrupted the meeting. “Captain Nixon, is everything alright? You seemed preoccupied.”

Lew, brought back to the reality of the briefing, nodded. “Yes, sir. Just eager to get back to the company.”

The various Generals, Majors, and Colonels shared glances, recognizing the internal struggle in the officer. General McAuliffe spoke up, “Captain, we need your full attention here. The assault on Foy is a critical operation.”

Nixon straightened in his chair. “Of course, sir. My apologies.”

However, his thoughts lingered on (y/n), and he couldn't shake the nagging worry about how she was doing in the aftermath of the last shelling. The room, filled with strategic discussions, felt worlds apart from where he needed to be. 

As the briefing continued, Lew’s mind raced between tactical plans and vivid fears of what (y/n) could be going through without him. Hours dragged on, and he couldn’t help but feel a growing sense of urgency. The generals noticed his frequent glances at the door and they exchanged concerned looks.

As General McAuliffe took over from Sink, the Colonel approached Lewis discreetly. “Lewis, take a moment. I know it’s not easy, son, but we need you here, not out on the line.”

Nodding, Nix allowed Sink to lead him to the door and open it for him. “Take a few minutes and focus.”

The heavy door closed behind Lew, leaving him in the hallway outside the briefing room. He took a deep breath, attempting to shake off the weight of his worries. He glanced at his watch and sighed, realizing it was almost midnight, meaning he wouldn’t get back to the line before the next morning at the earliest. 

The assault on Foy demanded his undivided attention, and he understood the gravity of the responsibility on his shoulders. Running a hand through his hair, he mentally scolded himself for losing focus during the briefing. 

As he stood in the hall, Lew made a conscious effort to compartmentalize. He reminded himself that he was not just a man in love, but a captain entrusted with the lives of countless men. Regardless of how much it pained him, his worries for (y/n) needed to be set aside momentarily for the sake of the mission.

Taking another breath, Nixon steadied himself and adjusted his uniform. With a determined step, he entered the room, his mind now focused on the tactical details of the assault. The maps and strategies once again took center stage, and he engaged in the conversation with his gathered intelligence on the krauts in the village. Colonel Sink was satisfied with the captain’s renewed concentration and continued with the briefing. 

The meeting dragged on far into the early hours of the morning. Nix finally emerged from the dimly lit room, weariness etched across his face, and the anxiety he’d been pushing down rose to the surface. The need to return to the line and finally see the woman he loved gnawed at him. He approached Colonel Sink, intent on making his case.

“Sir, I need to get back to the line and relay the plans to the companies,” Lew asserted, hoping the Colonel couldn’t see through his lie. Luckily, the older man could only see a mixture of exhaustion and concern in Lew’s brown eyes.

Sink shook his head regretfully. “Nixon, it’s too late now. You’ll head back at first light.”

Although he wanted to argue, Lew could see there was no room for disagreement in Sink’s eyes. Nodding, he reluctantly accepted the order. Nix saluted and pivoted away from the Colonel and started trudging through the snow-covered town toward the officers’ mess. He soon found himself in a quiet corner of the hall, the aroma of damp wood and the lingering cold permeating the air. 

His eyes scanned the room until they settled on a makeshift bar. A dim light hung over the bottles, casting long shadows on the wooden surface. It had been nearly a month since he’d last had the luxury of a drink due to their sudden deployment into the Ardennes. Approaching the bar, he ran his fingers along the dusty bottles, his mind screaming at him to withstand the temptation.

‘You promised her.’

Pushing the thought away, he continued to search for something to ease the weight on his shoulders. His hand finally closed around a bottle of scotch whiskey. It wasn’t VAT-69, but it was the closest he could get to his precious liquor.

The first sip brought a familiar warmth, the burn traveling down his throat and settling in his stomach. The taste, though bitter, held a comfort, like an old friend greeting him after a long absence and offered a momentary escape from the weight on his shoulders.

As the alcohol took effect, Lew found himself caught between the numbing embrace of intoxication and the persistent anxiety for (y/n). Each sip brought a fleeting sense of detachment, a temporary relief from the fears that cycled through his mind. 

JANUARY 11, 1945: 506th REGIMENT HQ, BELGIUM: 0700HRS

Persistent shaking of his shoulder roused Lewis Nixon from his restless slumber. Opening his eyes, he squinted against the light and found the jeep driver from before standing before him. 

“Colonel Sink said to take you back to the line, Captain,” the private mumbled, his words slightly annoyed as he rubbed his eyes tiredly.

Lew groaned, closing his eyes tightly. He’d drank too much the night prior, and he could feel the effects of a slight hangover. It took a moment for the private to coax him to his feet, and with a heavy sigh, Lew gathered his belongings and walked towards the waiting jeep. 

The drive back to the front was a silent one. Nix’s mind was clouded with guilt, the events of the night replaying in his head. Back in Holland, he’d promised (y/n) that he would better handle his emotions and not use drinking as a coping mechanism. At the first opportunity, he’d done exactly that.

As the jeep rumbled up to Dick’s makeshift shelter, Lew grabbed his things and hopped out, thanking the driver with a quick wave of a hand. The second he entered the tent, Dick perked up from his seat across the room where he was writing a letter. He got up and approached Lew with a look of disappointment when he saw the familiar look of a hangover on his friend. 

“What about your promise to (y/n)?” Dick asked, his tone laced with disappointment. 

Lew ignored the question, stress driving him to the heart of the matter. “How is she?”

Dick sighed, the weariness evident in his eyes. “She’s shutting down, Nix. Lip said-”

Without waiting for Dick to finish, Lew hurried out of the tent, anxiety gripping his chest. The weight of his guilt and the fear of what he might find pushed him forward, each step heavier than the last. The cold wind cut through Lew’s uniform as he approached the foxhole. As he neared, he heard hushed voices, and George glanced back at him, relief in his eyes. 

“Someone’s here to see you,” Luz whispered to (y/n), gesturing behind them with his head. 

She followed his gaze to Nix’s bundled figure, and her eyes drifted up his frame to meet his own soft browns, tears instantly filling her eyes. She turned away, moving her attention back to the line as she tried her best to hold herself together in front of him.

(Y/n) heard the footsteps, but her gaze remained fixed on the distant line, avoiding the approaching figure. George left the foxhole, leaving her alone with the man who threatened to break her hastily built walls. Lew took George’s place beside her, studying her carefully. Her lack of response, trembling lip, and the faint tear lines on her face were testament to the pain she was holding back.

“Please look at me,” Lew whispered softly, his voice barely audible over the whipping of the wind.

She shook her head. “I can’t.”

“Why not?” Nix pressed gently.

“Because I-” (y/n) began, her voice breaking. “Because I can’t pretend with you.”

Lewis reached out, his touch gentle as he turned her face toward him. “You don’t have to.”

The moment their eyes met, a flood of tears spilled from her eyes, and she collapsed into his chest as a sob ripped its way up her throat. As her tears fell, Lew held her close, his hand moving gently along her back in a soothing caress that whispered reassurance. Her sorrow echoed in shuddering sobs, and he tightened his hold.

“I’m here,” he murmured, his voice a comforting presence. “I’m so sorry I took so long.”

Listening to her cry, he realized that even his mind couldn’t conjure something as heartbreaking as the sound of her pain and that he would do anything to keep from hearing them ever again. 

When (y/n) pulled back, her face told a story of grief. Red and puffy eyes, tear-streaked cheeks, and a runny nose painted a picture of her emotional turmoil. The weight of sorrow was evident in every detail, and Lew could see the toll of loss etched across her face. 

“I was in their hole, Lew,” she whispered, her voice shaky. “I had just jumped out when-”

The words caught in her throat as emotions overwhelmed her, and she shook her head as tears continued to fall. 

“I’m so sorry, sweetheart,” Nix said, pulling her into his arms again. “I’m sorry you had to see that.”

(Y/n) buried her face into his shoulder as her body continued to shake with sobs. “A-at least it was quick.”

He pulled her onto his lap and continued rubbing her back softly. “Yeah. They didn’t suffer.“

A few moments passed, and then she laid her head on Lew’s shoulder. “I really miss them,” she mumbled, wiping at a tear streaking down her cheek.

“I know,” he comforted, rubbing her arm. “But know they loved you…Skip especially. He’s actually the one who told me to get my act together and apologize.”

“Really?” she asked, a tiny smile quirking the corner of her lips. “Skip said that?”

Lew shrugged and smiled bashfully at her own minuscule grin. “Basically.”

Shaking her head softly, (y/n) sighed and reached for Lew’s hand, tenderly intertwining their fingers. She brought them to her lips, holding them there as she kissed his gloved hand.

“I love you, Lew. So much,” she confessed weakly, peering up at his concerned face. “I can’t lose anyone else to this-”

“Hey,” Nix interrupted, taking her face in his hands. “You’re not going to lose me. Not now, not ever. You’re stuck with me for the long haul, remember?”

Nodding slightly, she leaned forward and connected their lips. Lew could taste the salty tears on her lips, and he pulled back after a moment. “I can’t lose you, either. I need you healthy, sweetheart…mentally and physically. Please go to the hospital.”

“That was the last thing he said to me,” she choked out, her throat closing up. “Skip said that it would be the best birthday gift if I finally went. I was going to, Lew. And then not even a minute later, they…”

(Y/n)’s weak voice trailed off as Nix wiped another tear from her cheek. “(Y/n). Please go. If not for me, for Skip.”

Her eyes drifted downward. “I know. For Skip.”

“So you’ll go?” He asked quietly, hope rising within him.

“Yeah, I’ll go,” (y/n) replied, leaning against his chest once more. Lewis’ steady heartbeat calmed her racing mind. “But it can wait until tomorrow. Can you just hold me for tonight?”

Nix sighed softly, cradling her head against his chest. “Of course.”

Lew would never admit it out loud, but if she refused to go, he wouldn’t have hesitated to order her to. He didn’t want it to come to that, but he would do whatever it took to get her the help she needed, even if it meant her being furious with him or at the worst, losing her. When she reluctantly agreed to go, a weight in his heart lifted, and he thanked God that he wouldn’t have to go through with his backup plan.

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[mercuryswonderland]

Hello, again ✨💚⚰️🩷

I wanted to post my first tcoaal fanfic ✨🩷 it's from January and i plan to write more!

Part 1 of my TALES FROM THE GRAVES series.

I hope you like it 😊 I'll leave the ao3 link as well: https://archiveofourown.org/works/53360599

Summary:

On a rainy day, Andrew Graves realized his new favorite thing is looking after a sick Ashley.

In sickness, in health

💚⚰️🩷✨💚⚰️🩷✨💚⚰️🩷✨💚⚰️🩷✨

It was raining heavily outside. Dark clouds obscuring the ever-gloomy dusky woods, as thick mist surrounded the trees. Andrew appreciated the view as he finished his last cigarette of the day.

Reminiscing in the horrible events from last week was oddly calming to him. Once he crossed that line of eliminating his own parents, he crossed yet another by offering them to a demon, consuming them and discarding the remains to the ocean. It was wrong, it was illegal. But it felt right. He felt lighter than he has ever felt before.

He felt free.

He was content when he managed to find an old wooden cabin, located not too far away from the village. Thankfully, the rent was actually affordable. So affordable in fact, he thought he was being scammed. Fortunately, the owner was a gentle old man, who happened to be in the mood to help two lost souls, wandering through these unforgiving hostile lands. It was odd the old man didn’t pry about their lives, nor did he ask many questions at all in fact. Which was good in his eyes. He could get used to the quiet life.

Though, it was calm. Way too calm.

That’s when he decided to search for the cause of his nightmares. The one who makes him do these unspeakable things. The one who makes him mad and black out with rage and more.

The one he loved most.

Ashley Graves. While beautiful, is a rollercoaster of influence that can’t be left alone for too long. Andrew knew that very well, though he appreciates every second he can get, alone.

He entered the small cabin, greeted by a familiar, comfortable warmth. The cabin had an old fireplace that was very much appreciated during the cold days of the frosty winter. The fresh scent of petrichor from outside and the warm, cozy living room, made him sleepy.

He searched for his one and only favorite set of pink eyes, and found her sitting on a chair, looking outside the window. She was frowning, and appeared lost in her own silly dark mind of thoughts. Thinking was rare for her, so that was something of a pleasant surprise. Ever since they ran away to this cabin, she had been using that brain of hers. A new hobby, perhaps. Though it came a little late, he’d say.

He decided to stop admiring her from the doorway, and slowly made his way toward her.

“Hey, what’s gotten into you, lately?” He inquired, tracing his index finger over her neck. He leaned over her, giving her the affection he had been more open about giving her now that they weren’t being constantly monitored anymore.

She slightly shivered by his light touch, and adjusted her posture, while looking at him.

“Oh, A-Andrew, hey. How are you?” She asked, shifting against him. “The weather is shit today, huh? But that’s fine, I guess.” She said with a bored tune and waved her head. Andrew noticed that she was beginning to waver, her head moving a little too easily from side to side, as if she couldn’t balance her head on her own shoulders. She was beginning to slump forward, which prompted him to reach out to catch her.

“Hey! Be careful.” He said, holding onto her. Ashley leaned back, her head falling onto his shoulder. She left it there. Wordlessly, he pressed the back of his hand to her forehead, and winced audibly at the heat he felt.

“Yep, you’re sick.” He declared. Though he didn’t stop holding her. “You definitely have a fever.” He helped her stand up, hearing a mumble here and there. Though what she said next, he couldn’t even muster the energy to be surprised about it.

“Heh, Are you calling your sister hot?” The insufferable little sister she was, asked with her usual smile. Though wavering because of her illness. All he did was sigh in return. “Well, thank you, I guess. Big brother~.” Ashley smiled weakly at him. Though she didn’t protest at all to his help. The combination of her teasing and her letting him take care of her like this only made him want to help her more.

Ever since they both saw that vision, he’s been noticing that she’s been trying to get closer to him, and get on his good side. Though, for anyone else that would be a task easier said than done. But by virtue of their shared blood, he’s been letting her attempts chip away at him little by little.

She sat on the ample bed as he covered her in blankets. Andrew took her temperature with the thermometer and asked what she was feeling.

“So, let me restate this again just so you get it through that sick skull of yours.” She muttered something back, probably some kind of weak insult. “You have a fever, headache, and a sore throat. Not to mention you’re absolutely feeling weak.”

He remembered from back then how he used to take care of Ashley when they were kids. While their parents worked, and while they didn’t take the time to pay much attention to them. Fortunately, he remembered what their mother taught him, about what basic medicine and precautions he should take if he ever got sick.

One of the very few rare occasions she ever showed an ounce of care…

Shaking the thought of their dead mother from his mind, he returned his attention to Ashley.

“Yep. It’s been a while since I got sick. Maybe the starvation screwed me up real bad. Am I going to die? I can’t die, you’ll wander around, looking for hussies!” Ashley spat her dramatical nonsense once more, as she saw Andrew deeply in sight and covering his face in slight irritation.

“Ashley, let’s not start with your shit right now. You’re sick, and the more I have to hear your mouth the greater chance you get me sick too. So here, take this medicine and stay here while I prepare you something.” The tone of his voice was frustrated, it helped masked the fact that he was really worried about her.

“Dumbass…” Ashley muttered, though she obeyed as he grabbed a pill from the cabinet and a cup of water, swallowed when he poured it in her mouth for her.

Satisfied with her cooperation, he went to the small kitchen and prepared something for them both. It was time for dinner, after all, and Ashley needed some food in her body now more than ever. He approached the counter and opened a recipe book. The same one he used at their parent's home. He chose to bring it, in case Ashley would get creative with her newfound taste in taboo meat. He thought he should be worried about these bizarre thoughts, but he was content in the fact that he didn’t care at all.

“This will do. Easy and fast.” He decided, settling on a recipe of soup. It will fill their stomach and it goes well on rainy days.

While he waited for the soup to be ready, he hummed an unknown melody, as his mind started wandering off.

👁️

*Years ago*

He was around ten years old, watching some cartoons on the TV, when he heard Leyley complaining in their shared room. He sighed and went to check on her. She was sitting on his bed, sniffing and hugging her precious green bunny plushie.

“What’s wrong, Leyley? You’re extra noisy today.” He sat with her and rubbed her back, affectionately.

“*sniffs* I’m dying, Andy!! I think my head is melting and I feel dizzy.” She complained loudly, and was as exaggerated and over dramatic as usual. Though even as she said that, she couldn’t help but hug him tightly.

He’s not surprised at all and returned the embrace, appreciating the sweet moment. He wasn’t sure if she had high fever, let alone if there was anything useful in their damned apartment, so he had no other option but to call their mother.

“Listen, Leyley. I’m going to call mom. You can stay in my bed if you want, I'll take care of you, okay?”. He saw her whipping her small tears and nodded, as she snuggled in his bed, cuddling her plushie.

He might or might not have felt jealous over a plushie…

Right?

He took the phone and dialed a phone number, mentally praying to whoever God or Demon that might’ve been listening, that their mom would answer. Thankfully, she did but he didn’t miss the sound of her exasperated sigh.

“What is it, Andrew? Is it her again?” Their mom’s coldness, as she referred to his sister as “her” instead of “Ashley” really showed how much - or rather how little - she cared for her.

“Hey, mom…can you bring some medicine afterwork?” Andy asked, with a hint of worry in his voice. “I think Leyley is sick, but I don't know what to do.”

His mother sighed and shook her head. Instantly finding doubt in his claim. “Are you sure she isn’t just putting on an act? That child always finds ways to waste my time.” She paused for a moment, leaving Andy’s resentment towards her own mother to grow each passing second.

“If she’s really sick, it’ll be a problem for me later. I’m certain I left some medicine secured on a white box, inside the bathroom’s cabinet. Take it and give her-”

Andy was taking notes of his mother’s instructions, making sure nothing escaped him, until she stopped explaining. She hated to repeat herself, so he only had the one chance to catch her advice.

“Then, I'll be getting back to work. I won’t be able to come home early, nor will your father. There’s something to prepare dinner in the fridge. You’re diligent and smart, so I’m sure you’ll figure out how to make something as easy as soup,right? it’s nothing to you.”

Andy said nothing, as the awkward silence filled the room, and his mother finished the call. “.....Take care, Andrew. I’m sorry.”

She always says sorry. Why does she even bother?

Ever since that day, Andy made sure to take good care of Leyley. Not wanting her to feel like she wasn’t worth being taken care of. It was the least she deserved for being his sister.

👁️

Andrew dozed off from his thoughts, almost feeling nostalgic. The smell of the soup made his stomach grumble as he hurried to serve two portions on the new bowls he and Ashley bought while shopping, a couple days ago. He set the freshly served soup on the tray and carefully walked to the room.

Ashley was waiting for him. He noticed her tired eyes focused on the tray and her face relaxed. He also noticed her body sightled gained weight. It was a good sign, telling him their days of starvation are in the past now.

“Beautiful.” He thought, as he carefully sat on the bed, next to her. He handed her the tray with her soup, as he took his to enjoy the meal.

“What took you so long? Were you daydreaming or something? My stomach screams and you leave poor Ashley all alone. Woe is me, I’m surrounded by deceivers!” Mocked Ashley, though it lacked the usual venom she could portray, likely thanks to the sore throat.

She was easier to deal with when she was sick and reliant on him, at least.

“Just eat the damn soup before it gets cold, Ashley. I made this for you.” Said Andrew, not in the mood to follow her complaints right now.

A comfortable aura surrounded them, as they enjoyed the sound of rain and the fireplace kept them warm. They started to eat.

Not even three minutes passed, as he looked at Ashley taking sipping her soup, (hoping she would like it), and saw as a single tear drop slipped down her porcelain face and a small smile appeared.

Another thing he found beautiful.

“What’s wrong, Ley- Ashley? Is the soup too hot?” He gently dried her tears and he cupped her face with his right hand.

“N-no, it’s just…. I just remembered one time I was pretty sick and you took care of me, exactly like this. With soup like this. Only you cared for me, when no one else did. Not even our fucking parents…. and yet, i still freak out of you leaving me behind, I’m…” She sniffled, unable to finish what she wanted to say.

Andrew thought the fever was making her emotional. He let the urge to kiss her forehead overtake his mind, despite her fever too. It calmed her down a little. But not enough, evidently, when she grabbed his collar to pull him and bury her face into his neck, muffling her sobs.

“I’m aware I've been spacing out lately, and I hate it as much as you but… after everything we’ve been through, I guess I'm starting to crumble. Ugh, this sucks. You’re the one supposed to be a soft gooey marshmallow.” She tried to lighten the mood with her mocking.

But only childish sobs could be heard.

“Ashley, for the thousandth time, I'm not going to leave you alone. I chose you. I care for you, more than any other being in this fucking planet. If i didn’t, i wouldn’t be trying to comfort you. Please, look at me.” He took her face with both hands and looked her deeply in her eyes. Forest green met sunset rose as if trying to communicate with their souls.

“T-then….can you kiss me?” She hesitantly asked.

“Kiss you… you want me to kiss you, on your lips?” He asked, as a slight blush tinted his face. “You really are sick aren’t you? Sick in the head…”

“Yes, Andrew. I want you to kiss me on the lips.” She said, not rising to his bait like she usually would. “Is that much to ask from your poor dying sister? Kiss me, I want it.” She said, slightly irritated he didn’t immediately accept her command. Perhaps Andy is really gone and Andrew’s was what's left.

A minute passed as he deeply sighed, thinking about his next move. In truth, he'd been considering the vision they both saw, but it wasn’t the time for that. Tonight, he wanted to take care of her.

And so he did.

Without thinking about the consequences for the moment, he closed the gap between them and kissed her gently. For him, who had kissed countless times, it was as easy as breathing, but he knew that for Ashley, it was far more special.

He let her savor the moment, as her trembling hands wrapped behind his neck and both closed their eyes. It was a simple, soft kiss, yet held sentimental value to them.

One step away from the vision.

At that moment, he didn’t think too much about it. He already crossed many lines.

Once separated, he saw Ashley, smiling as brightly as ever. He knows she can manipulate him easily. But for the first time in a while, he felt like he was doing it on his own will.

The devil spoke.

“Kiss me more. Give me more of you. Heal me.” She spoke in a sweet manner, as her pink eyes focused on him, forgetting the steaming soup on the bed.

Andrew indulged, embracing her and giving her a deeper kiss, this time filled with unspoken promises of something far more pleasant. She happily accepted everything from him, melting in his touch, as two starved animals.

A couple days later, Ashley was revitalized and full of energy!

Andrew, however…..might need another bowl of soup, as he got the cold for kissing Ashley, many, many times.

Oh well!

Fin(?) ✨