#i had a lot of thoughts and feelings

[buffyspeak]

forgot to say this earlier but izzy was v cute on her date with charlie <3 like he’s sweet and all but idk i just got really choked up about “i don’t really do this” and how smiley and giggly and happy she was. because like!!! she Does Not! has not, ever! she does flings and hookups and casual relationships with the understanding that it’s not long-term partnership, even if it’s ongoing and has genuine feelings attached - and to be clear, none of that is bad! she very clearly enjoys it! there is not one right way to Do Relationships! but whatever feelings one may have about the doylist Why of it, she very clearly does long for some sort of relationship that happens to be out of her comfort zone. she begins to feel that she needs something that she is not getting from the kinds of relationships she has historically been in.

raphael was fully the catalyst btw. and while his asexuality is about him first and foremost - i think the fact that he cares about isabelle inn some capacity, has feelings for her, and sees her value outside of sex made her reevaluate her priorities in relationships. Things (TM) got in the way, but izzy says to clary that what she almost maybe had with raphael made her realize that she wanted more. (again, ‘more’ is not an ideal word, just the one she used becaue it is hard for people, writers of this show included, to conceptualize that casual relationships can be meaningful in their own way. but she very clearly is wanting something different than what she’s ever let herself pursue.)

it’s kind of why, on a narrative level, i get why simon is a good match for her, even if i generally agree that how it happens feels forced and rushed. (aside from that just being book!canon, which i do not really subscribe to dhdhdh.) like. it was never going to work with charlie because she would either have to bring him further into her world - which would endanger him and therefore she would not do - or keep seeing him but keep him in the dark about the shadow world. which she quickly realizes is unsustainable. (and would probably still endanger him if she kept on tbh).

simon’s a good balance because i think he embodies a lot of what draws her in about charlie. they’re both kind and treat her with a kind of gentleness few do. (her brothers of course, but that’s a) a different dynamic altogether and b) muddied by the fact that they’re all soldiers together and can’t always afford to be gentle.) simon, i’m willing to bet, would take her on lots of cute dates. like!!! simon just represents humanity in Such a Specific way, in perseverance, in loyalty, in still having passion for things like music and video games. and despite her flaws, i think one of izzy’s best traits is that she sees the value in this more than most of her people do, she’s drawn to it, she understands that the joy of the mundane world is what they’re actually protecting, what they’re fighting for.

and simon can be all that to her but still will understand when she has to cancel a date because patrol is going long or whatever. lmao.

(okay this is already so long and windy and going a million directions but. here’s the thing i don’t doubt that izzy has genuine romantic feelings and love for simon. i try to take it in good faith when it’s clear characters are written as having feelings for each other. it just occurred to me that how hopeless and lowkey depressed or at least… somewhat despondent and apathetic about her future prospects izzy seemed at the start of s3 is bc. idk how many options she felt she had? like. idk. as established, mundanes are just… not super viable. other shadowhunters are…. largely probably not willing? for better or worse, she has the lightwood name, and it’s tainted. also, i’m shot back to season one where maryse told izzy that she couldn’t do the arranged marriage because no one would have her because of her past relationships with downworlders. and while maryse was being undoubtedly cruel there, i also don’t think she was like, wrong. narratively it would always make the most sense for her to ‘end up’ with someone from the downworld but even then…. public shadowhunter/downworld relationships are shown to be rare!!! alec and magnus are a Big Deal for a lot of reasons and this is one of them!!! and many downworlders (for good reason!!) would have a lot of trouble trusting a shadowhunter in a capital R Relationship. so while there may have been downworlders who were willing to interact with izzy - who would like and respect her, even ! - i find it likely that given all that and her past reputation, many would probably only be willing to engage in a casual dynamic with her. which is no longer what she wants!

so izzy’s somewhat depresso espresso moment in the show is caused because she knows she wants to make a change in the way she does relationships and she’s also incredibly aware of how, like, there are Several Obstacles.

but again on the sizzy front this is not actually a bad thing for them because. simon is in a really weird but good place in terms of. he knows about the shadow world and can relate to izzy on that level. but he is also literally still So New to the shadow world that he has no preconceived notions of her. he meets her with no expectations, good or bad, of what it should mean that she’s a lightwood or a shadowhunter. the first three people he meets from this world are izzy and her brothers, two people that love her to death, and even though at this juncture simon does not care much for alec or jace, he is a smart and observant person. he knows how much they love her. he was always a little pre-disposed to eventually love her too, i think. he sees her as a more complete person than many do - he sees her (eventually) as a badass shadowhunter and a terrible cook and someone who’s scared of rats and doesn’t know how to do pinky promises and loves her family more than she knows what do with. he just sees her and yes, loves her, eventually, but i think what’s maybe more meaningful to her is honestly that he LIKES her, just, as a person. not just because she’s hot or strong or a lightwood (*which certainly feels like the only reason her parent’s care, at least sometimes) but because she’s Izzy.)

[hinamie]

subject, specimen, spectacle;

should i say that you're dead?

[deeva-arud]

Comfort after a shattered dream

...or at least that's what I imagined💀​ After seeing the story update, I think she'd opt for a more subtle action ↓

she's not letting go of his hand

[lazylittledragon]

ok someone please correct me if i'm wrong but am i weird for thinking those 'audiobooks don't count as reading' posts are ableist as fuck????

[madamemiz]

sad: falling out of a hyperfixation

tragic: watching your beloved friends and mutuals fall out of the hyperfixation while you're still in it

[chalkrub]

hq versions of some of the HEDS i did for comm examples

(you can buy one here !)

[laurellala-comics]

Fun fact! This was the real tipping point that made Edgeworth run away after AA1, they just couldn't show it on screen because they didn't have the rights to Chappell Roan's music <3

(A spiritual successor to my "Hot to Go" joke from this post. Image description under the cut below)

[Image ID: a four page black and white comic of characters from ace attorney.

The Judge stands solemnly at his podium holding a gavel "Mr. Miles Edgeworth, you are on trial for the murder of blah blah blah..."

A cheerful Maya Fey leans over to Miles Edgeworth, who is staring straight ahead and looking very concerned

Maya: "Psst! Mr. Edgeworth! If you win your trial, can I show you Chappell Roan?

Miles: "What the hell, sure." Internally he thinks "Oh God I am going to jail"

A box saying "later" in the top corner of the next panel marks the passage of time.

The Judge smiles as he says "I declare you... Not Guilty!"

We see a full body shot of Maya dancing excitedly while Miles looks on, emotionless

Maya: YIPPEE omg you're going to LOVE this

Miles internally thinks "oh no, the consequences of my actions.

We see Miles standing in between Phoenix Wright and Maya looking apprehensive. Maya beams in excitement, while Nick puts a reassuring hand on Miles' shoulder

Miles: Alright, so what is this exactly?

Nick: She's a pop musician Maya really likes

Maya: You promised you'd let me show you, and it's legally binding because you said it in a court room!

Miles: That is not how the law works Ms. Fey

Maya: Shh just listen!

We see a panel of Miles' pensive face concentrating as he listens to "Hot to Go". He thinks to himself "hm".

Another panel zoomed in more. His pensive expression has grown more tense/confused as he listens to "Red Wine Supernova". he again thinks to himself "Hm" in a larger thought bubble.

We zoom out again to see Nick, Miles, and Maya standing together again. Miles stares forward blankly, eyebrows raised. Maya excitedly leans in.

Maya: Ok, that's her whole discography. So! What did you think?

Nick looks at him, waiting for his response

We get a panel of Miles, looking bewildered. He starts to speak "I..."

We cut again to see the three of them standing together.

Miles: I... don't think I like women?

Miles looks shocked and confused. Nick is bent over laughing, using a hand on Miles's shoulder to support himself. Maya looks outraged and appalled!

Maya: MR. EDGEWORTH! Just because you don' like her musi it doesn't give you an excuse to be sexist!

We see a panel of Miles looking stressed and confused. He leans his head on one of his hands, which messes up his hair, showing how he isn't his normal put together self.

Miles: I should rephrase that. What I mean is, Ms. Roan is clearly VERY assured in her feelings towards women. I was... unaware that anyone felt that strongly. I thought we all viewed these things with a vague sense of distaste and unease but collectively ignored it. Like how we do with climate change.

We zoom out again to see the three of them. Miles stands in the middle looking deeply uncomfortable and lost in thought, vibrating with unease. Nick and Maya exchange deeply concerned glances across from him.

With lingering unease, Miles begins to walk away.

Miles: Well, I should be going then. Goodnight.

Nick hesitantly raises a finger to point out an inaccuracy in that statement

Nick: It's four in the afternoon-

he gets interrupted by Miles who repeats firmly: I said Goodnight

Nick looks in the direction Miles walked off in.

Nick: ...He'll be ok, right?

Maya reassures him: Of cours Nick! I mean, what's the worst that can happen?

Jump cut to a closeup of Nick's hand holding Miles' letter which reads Miles Edgeworth chooses death in all caps. Then, below in smaller font, it says Also femininomenon was really good, thanks.

We see a panel of Nick glaring wordlessly at Maya as he holds the letter in his hand. Maya leans against the wall and looks away, whistling, trying to look innocent to avoid blame.

As a bonus, we also have a page that takes place a year later. Miles and Nick stand talking. Miles looks calmer now, and Nick smiles encouragingly.

Miles: In my time in Europe, I've been examining myself and my approach to law. Ultimately, the most important focus must be justice. We owe it to ourselves and to the people we serve

Nick: Wow, that's really inspiring Edgeworth. And, uh, hows the... the other thing going?

We get a zoomed in panel of Miles glaring menacingly at a suddenly nervous Nick

Jumping out again, Miles turns his back to Nick as he continues to talk

Miles: So as I was saying, justice is truly so important...

Nick nervously rubs the back of his neck wearing an awkward expression as he sweats nervously. He thinks to himself internally "Ooookay then, clearly still working through some things there"

/.End ID]

[technically-human]

Part two of the reverse verse is here! The reverse boys meet the original boys. They're not really getting along as well as I had hoped...

Again, this was a commission for @i-am-as-normal-as-you-are and they asked for angst/funny vibes... I think it's mostly just angst though. Oh, well...

Part one

[ducktracy]

there are a lot of evil people in the world and a lot of darkness in the world and so it’s very important for me to stress that now more than ever is the time to spread kindness and compassion. combat the evil by not only not partaking in it, but actively refuting it. destroy the notion that being compassionate or generous or kind to someone is uncool or embarrassing or even scary. be the change you want to see. start a chain reaction. positivity only breeds more positivity. do an act of kindness for someone so that that person who is too afraid to do it themselves can see you, realize that they’re not alone, and perhaps sheepishly follow your example. and then the next person who is too afraid but sees that person can do the same. when bad news comes out about bad people or horrible atrocities in the world it’s such an easy impulse to despair, and obviously it’s important to feel what you need to feel. grieve. be angry. be sorrowful. be empathetic. but dust off your pants and get up and be a part of a chain reaction that, no matter how small the scale, and spread compassion and love and care. all the reasons why you might not—“it’s hard! it’s scary! people will make fun of me! it’s useless because there’s too much evil!” are all grade A arguments as to why you should. you have no idea how many people you could inspire to do the same. even if it doesn’t get you anyway far, you can at least say you have the nobility of trying. please choose love and please choose life. you are worth loving and you are worth inspiring others to love

[sophfandoms53]

Anyway shout out to Dewey who constantly looked like he was having the worst time of his fucking life in the pitches

Just an 11 year old pissed off at the world it seems😭

[everchased]

at least it'll be wonderful while it lasts.

(a little post-game downtime discussion, when they have the time and space to talk about these things. also in my canon, scratch gets to stay. :/)

[yaolmao]

simp

[hinamie]

picked up an old pen

[stinkybrowndogs]

Everyone look at this freaky little cat my friend adopted. Her name is Lambchop and she is a Mess™️

[cheesenchalk]

i never know how to phrase it but something about the way beatles biographers and people in general view paul's reflexive placating persona and determination to smooth things over as manipulative or duplicitous and john's reflexive barbed persona and habit of lashing out as brave and subversive despite both being equally defensive mechanisms to shield themselves from the world that resulted in them saying things that weren't true says more about how we culturally view kindness or friendliness as inherently untrustworthy or flimsy and anger and carelessness as more believable as someone's true nature than it says about either of them in actuality

[infinite-beginnings]

The line when Charles said, "Edwin's told me loads of stories about Hell," and him seeming to know he'd find a map in Edwin's book always hits me hard.

Now I acknowledge Charles might’ve been posturing to reassure the Night Nurse he could navigate Hell, but let's assume this fact was real.

Because that means that Edwin felt comfortable enough to talk about all of his trauma to Charles. He mentions Hell a lot in passing in front of the girls, but he never goes into specifics. However, it seems as if he actively told Charles quite a few details about Hell. I also noticed that Charles is very calm when he's going to find Edwin. Yes, he's studying the book a lot, but he is also navigating the space with a certain amount of confidence. I'm sure it's partially due to Charles' tendency to do things without thinking and project confidence. But also, it seems as if he might have at least a very basic level of knowledge or familiarity with the levels of Hell based on the stories Edwin told.

I think this is probably another reason why Edwin struggled to believe the fact that Charles had faced abuse in his past and never shared it with Edwin. Because Edwin was always up front and honest with Charles. He told him the very first time they'd met that he had just escaped Hell. I'm sure Edwin did not want to relive his memories of Hell, and maybe it took him decades to feel like he could share. But I bet when he started talking about it with Charles, he felt relief. Because sharing your trauma with someone who accepts you and loves you no matter what is always a relief after holding it in and pushing it down.

So I just imagine Edwin feeling that relief after sharing his stories from Hell and feeling closer and more bonded with Charles because of it...and then he finds out that Charles has this huge amount of trauma from his past that he has been keeping inside. It probably breaks Edwin's heart that he hadn't been able to offer Charles the same relief he'd felt.

And yes, Crystal mentioned that Charles was probably denying the trauma even to himself. We all know that Edwin knew something was off with Charles and that he was probably frustrated in himself because he hadn't been able to figure it out, but Crystal apparently had.

But I also think there might be another level to it. The boys have been solving cases for 30 years. I find it hard to believe that they never had another case involving abuse or at least someone with a controlling personality that would've reminded Charles of his father. Maybe Edwin thinks back to a couple of those cases and how Charles was acting strange and withdrawn during them and realized he'd missed a huge clue about how his friend was feeling.

All those years of sharing his stories from Hell and being comforted by Charles and Edwin hadn't been able to do the same. Edwin is definitely hurt that Charles didn't feel like he could confide in him and heartbroken to think about how much pain his friend was going through alone.