#i got a job interview the next day
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i have to skip out on a concert tonight <//3
#rip my 60 bucks#im not crazy about the group idk why i bought them in the first place#i just have so much stuff to do man i literally cant go#i start my internship tomorrow morning#i got a job interview the next day#i got my internship wednesday and a midterm#a midterm thursday#and my initernship again friday#imma kms
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I am really tired of a situation rn.
#fe three houses#felix hugo fraldarius#me using felix on my angy days because he is my angersona? you bet!#anyway if you want to try to get someones money or something bc you hurt your own car banging into mine#can you try to be a bit more timely with it buddy come on you hit me on feb29 !#why am i getting your insurance company calling me today !#also i would like to point out i didnt do it and neither of us were hurt and i filed a claim with my own insurance comp#and also filed a police report bc he didnt even suggest calling the cops to the scene#so like yeah hey man maybe you and your insurance company can move a lil faster or smth#literally everything that happened the day of is - according to my dad - an intimidation tactic#i look like im 15 and he probably thinks he can take advantage of a new driver but ya know! tough luck!#im just really tired and stressed over multiple things not negative so getting this on top of it was like#bro .................... anyway my phone didnt pick up for some reason so i called back and then nothing got resolved#cause the person who actually called me wasnt around to connect the line to from the guy who answered#idk man just its a lot despite my v minimal energy#got a job interview on monday tho ! and then also next week is an eye exam#and you might be thinking isnt that a good thing to get your eyes checked? you are correct but i am horrified#there are two body parts that give me absolute anxiety and eyes are one of them#and i know my eye sight is declining and im just v anxious#its fine im going to be fine i just have to be anxious about it
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Damn the world. I was put on this planet to draw and color all day everyday.
#i say that and i kno that: i do not dream of labor is a popular sentiment here... but#i do enjoy the sense of purpose that working gives me. do i have a compulsive disorder that tells me im nothing if im#not productive? yes but i dont see what that has to do with anything 🙄#but for real i just wanna draw and color all day every day. except for the days when i get to learn cool stuff thru working#bleh. ive got 2 job interviews next week to prepare for tho. on top of the things i should actually b doing for school....#like reading papers. ugh. just let me draw >_<#i dont even tho what i wanna draw rn. something m00min related maybe. idk#unrelated
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this too shall pass 😄
but this too shall pass 😢
#trying to stop feeling bittersweet about good days cause it’s been a while#and i know it could be a while more for the next one#but today was so nice#did a second interview for a summer nanny job that i really want#the kids are so fun the family is so nice and the job would be so so so so fun#they live in the prettiest neighborhood right on the beach#i’m optimistic for it but we’ll see#i got a yummy panera drink as a treat for lil old me#AND MY NEW MAGIC DECK CAME IN#i already had my box and sleeves so i got to use it right away and it was so fun#btw to any other nerds that follow me#the elven empire deck is worth the money and super playable right out of the box#also might have a nice surprise for my sister for her wedding#and of course i’m ending the day with a thorough railing and a sleepover with my bf#that’s enough oversharing for today#anyone that read this far gets a prize
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job rant incoming
#ok so a couple weeks ago i registered with a cleaning agency and got offered 2 days of work which i had to refuse because i was still at uni#haven't heard anything since#got a message a few days ago from a different cleaning company (job with regular hours) asking if i was free for a trial shift this week and#i told them i was. radio silence since#i'm hoping i'll get a message sometime today because the job description listed the start date as monday#did an interview for a tutoring place that i'll hear from in the next week or so but i'm not confident#i really really want the regular cleaning job cus if they're alright with me being on holiday for a couple days at the end of june#and i can work the rest of the summer i would make enough money to pay the bills for the house AND completely fund 2 trips i have in mind#i hate being worried about money and jobs and idk this feels like a very first world rant lol#cus i could pay the bills for my student house next year without working this summer but i'd have very little money for anything fun#the trips are v unnecessary but is it really so bad to want to have fun money? ofc worst case scenario and i'm jobless this summer i'll go#without the plans or change them but.....yeah#delete later#ellis exclaims
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RANT
#hey boss#u uh- u said i was working sun n wed- can i have more consistent days so i have days to block out for interviews?#.#uve been forewarned#ok so its four months into my gap year and HOLY SHIT JOB SEARCHING IS SO FRUSTRATING#so im working as a clerk at this law firm mon and wed (only 8 hours total tho)#n i THOT i had my reatil job in the bag but then boss goes “yea im really sorry but i cant give u three days - only sundays and weds”#so i was like great ok i need another job thats cool ill just bliock out sundays and weds for potential employers#THEN on sat boss texts n goes “ahhh i dont need u till next week- also can u switch ur wed to fri”. ??????? MA'AM#so i go#she says sorry kid i dont WHICH IS FINE I APPRICIATE THE COMMUNICATION#so i have an interview the next day at a coffee shop for a time THE MANAGER OFFERED#i show up after having pit my day aside for this noon interview#i walk in employees go “uh ho manager stepped out”#she camnt come back for the rest of the day AND doesnt apologize in her email- just “unfourntallyyyy i didnt have time to check my email”#MAAM YOU SEND THE INVITE#whatever#luckily last friday i was invited to this job fair by like four diff locations in san fran n was immeditaly hired#(first trial shift tmr yay!)#but the commute is gonna be KILLER#however im hopeful n i love coffee so yay#also my pet sitting is taking off ive got two sits booked for october#which is suprising bc im also traveling for half the month#manchester edenbrough st andrews milan lake como babayyyyyyy#also this thursday im heading to chicago and maine for a wedding (yay go love!) and to tenessee for another wedding in jan#so now ive got law firm retail associate barista dog sitter n i just KNOW when the holidays roll around n both retail jobs will be wack ill#be floored#but. ahem anywats good things frustrating thinsg stressful things but GOD am i glad i took this gap year#oh yea and ive been hiking tones! lands end trail#tilden park
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do you ever feel casually suicidal? like you're not depressed or anything you're doing fine but also it feels like a convenient option
#if you can't make connections with people or be seen by anyone then like. at least you can feel like you're helping a better cause#to like charities and gfms and anyone else#but you have to tone that down bc you're slowly losing money bc you still can't get a job#and bc you don't have a job it means you're just stuck in the house all day. which gives Way Too Much opportunity to Think about everything#and also so like. i still share a room with my sister but it was fine bc she'd stay at her bf's a few nights a week#but he's got a job that's a bit further away and basically she can't go round his as much. so now it's maybe like once a week#the room is getting messier so it gives me less energy to do anything#you can get really into an unhealthy weight loss obsession bc at least it feels like you're getting towards something#but idek is set weight theory real? bc once i get down to a certain point it suddenly resets#like honestly counting calories and donating money to every gfm i saw and writing a film script was what kept me going#but first one isn't working and second i need some sort of income and third is finished and i have no way of actually creating it#and then there's the whole lack of stable hyperfixation and ability to find new music i enjoy#and realistically what would fix me is having a good job that i enjoy and somewhere to live on my own#but until i get a job that's currently impossible. and even then it probably won't feel like enough#my entire life is lived on my phone i need more physical objects but i don't have enough space#bc i share a room with my sister. it's like all my problems are connected#and i have enough optimism that i still think it'll get better in the next few weeks. maybe i'll be able to get a job and that'll#get everything going again#but at the same time i could easily just die#I've graduated from uni. I've seen the who live 3 times. I've crashed my car twice. I've watched 30 years of corrie. I've met various dogs#what else is there to do with my life honestly#(<- joking)#but yeah like. in summer 2021 i almost got suicidal (it was just letting the occasional thought linger in my mind etc)#but that was bc i was so depressed#but now it feels like i could just kill myself. but more just out of convenience#idek. i'm not gonna kill myself. bc i have a job interview on tuesday. and just in general i won't#but there is this casual feeling of like. well i might as well. i can't describe it#ramble#suicide tw#weight loss mention
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it's been a month since we moved into the new apartment -
I'm so stressed. everything is stressful. we're still not done building the kitchen but it's getting there (slowly). mostly we just need to wait until we get a couple parts that weren't in stock when we ordered the rest. I'm hoping it'll be done by next weekend.
some of it is very frustrating with my brain specifically. I'm so bothered by all the tiny little things that no one else would even notice - like, some of the handles on the drawers are very slightly crooked (as in, less than a millimeter higher on one side) - but for me it's so obvious that it's impossible to ignore. my husband didn't even know what I meant when I pointed it out to him. there's also been a few slightly bigger issues, but we've solved them now (I think).
my eye has been twitching for like three to four weeks. not all the time obviously, but every few minutes. it's very, very annoying.
we still have no new info about when we'll have internet finally. it could take a while still.
on Monday a guy has to replace something in the electric roller shutters in one room - but we don't know which one yet. so either I'll have to let him into my room (awful, uncomfortable, will have to tidy up tomorrow so he could even get to the window), or I'll have to get both our cats into their carrier if it's the one in my husband's room (awful, difficult, one of them doesn't like that so he'll be scared and I'll feel bad).
also on Monday the electrician will install our stove (if he has time). then we're getting two ikea deliveries. and I've got an appointment with my (new) GP because I need a prescription, and I'm very (verrry) nervous about it.
I miss watching TV. I miss tumblr and YouTube and messaging my friends whenever I want and sending them photos all the time. I miss order and structure and (some level of) routine. I miss using real cutlery (we still haven't found ours lol).
when I was finally starting to get used to the noises in this place, the family above us moved in with their baby that cries all the time very very loudly and most of the time right above my room. so now everything is different again and I'm not adjusting well and once again I can't sleep.
but, I've listened to 14 audiobooks since we moved! that's been nice. it was the same way when we moved the last time (just over a year ago..). my favourite by far was The Thursday Murder Club. I've got the other ones in the series but I'm trying not to listen to them too quickly, so I'm gonna listen to three other books first (one is done already, so I should get there on Monday or Tuesday hopefully).
#long rambly post sorry#I miss talking about the random uninteresting shit that happens in my life on here all the time#I've got data on my phone again now at least so that's good. but the phone signal is still awful indoors so it's not that useful#but anyway.... logically I know I'm doing an okay job with unpacking and everything but it doesn't feel like it#also I'm probably gonna have to try to find at least a part time job pretty soon and I'm really really really scared. terrified.#not just of trying to find something and interviews and all that#but that I won't be able to handle it. physically and mentally. again.#I've only had one full time job (an apprenticeship actually) and I lasted 3 months.#and at my part time job I only lasted a month#like. I can barely get anything done in a day as it is. I have so little energy. everything is so fucking hard and exhausting#I truly don't understand how everyone does it. I don't understand how it's possible.#but if I don't find something we won't have money for food next month sooooo it is sort of kind of important#it sucks so fucking much. I can't stand or walk for long periods of time. can't do too much with my hands. I'm not good at dealing with#people/customers. I panic and can't think when I get nervous (which is most of the time). I can't remember shit.#so like. what job am I supposed to do??? everything hurts all the time already and I'm always tired and I'm barely keeping it together#fuuuuck this#😭#personal
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#job secured 😛#it’s full time 9 hour days but Fridays are 4 hours#my nepotism baby arc (paulina helped me secure it at the clinic I go to LMFAO)#well kinda like I applied and they called me back but I missed the call#so when I went to see her (for the first time since September she said she got excited when she saw my name on her schedule bless her soul)#I told her how I called him back but the like didn’t even ring it just went straight to voicemail both times#so she called him from her work phone and pretended I was a stranger she ran into bc patient confidentiality LMFAOEKFK#she went ‘I found someone in the hall who came to ask about a job because she got a call but hasn’t been able to get in contact with you’#and he came down there and was Iike ‘I’m so sorry I’ve been doing orientations and interviews all day I must have missed you’#and we were talking in the elevator to his office about the position and he goes ‘do you have time for an interview right now?’ I was :O#and said yes ofc#interviewed with the 2 pharmacists then and there and he called and offered me the position the next day!!#and I’m making more than I did at my previous job and it’ll go up once I get certified in like 2 months#they’re willing to train me and everything??#and the reason I wanted this job so bad is bc it counts towards my healthcare experience for grad school SLAY#2 birds 1 stone baby
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sooo happy my adderall successfully got raised and filled so i could pick it up today because guess who's on the next step of that internal interview and is gonna be talking to the actual manager of the team tomorrow morning!! :3c he only ever called it a conversation and discussion but the original hiring manager called it a technical interview so i am very very much appreciative of the extra help in getting into emergency study mode orz
#gotta wake up at the ass-crack of dawn to shower and put makeup on and look professional for the call smh but that'll be so worth it#job hunt diary#please don't be a tech interview that involves coding </3 just keep the fast-track on max and get this settled like. by tomorrow really#if i get past this they will probably want to do a coding test tbh and then maybe an in-person thing but i can dream#i've only got next mon-fri and then monday after's my last day so they'd need to act FAST which is why i think they could actually do that
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chat be real with me. yes or no would it be a dick move to quit this job i just started a week ago
#i have such a bad loyalty complex when it comes to jobs its not even funny#like no i do not want to go down with this fucking ship but alas i am forcing myself to thug it out even though i dread every shift#overworked + undertrained + SEVERELY understaffed theres literally only 5 employees total counting myself#so yes i suppose it would be a bit Dickish to quit and leave them with 4 but also have you considered#i no longer wish to subject myself to this job#and it was already hard enough to even fucking get one down here i dont know what i dread more. unemployment or this place#i shouldve known it was a red flag when i got an interview request not even a full day after i applied#like i applied at midnight and got an interview request at 10am for one later that day#and like a fool i accepted it#it doesnt help that my ass is also taking forever to finish college too so i still have classes i need to focus on as well#so lets weigh my options here. finish college and get my associates...or work minimum wage job that does not care abt my schedule#hmmmmm much 2 think about.#tags so fucking long i shouldve started with dear diary#if youve managed to read all this dont forget to like comment and hit that subscribe button. ill see yall in the next video
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09.12.2024
Today, Romano had a lovely picnic at a local park.
Arab.com link
#today's romano#hetalia#aph romano#hws romano#09.12.2024#tw food#i got a behavioral job interview from the job fairs the past two days#its for the number 1 place i want a post doc next year#but ahhhhh scary#I'm not ready#and a bit unhap have to dress up nice for a 3rd day in a row
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falls down
#mine#today was day 2 of job and it seems like a really good deal...the benefits are CRAZY#depending on the healthcare plan i pick i could literally pay $0 a month as my premium#great day to be single with no kids <3#and the PTO is great and they have short term disability insurance which seems like a great option for when i get hysto#other benefits are all awesome and i know theres upward mobility which is really big for me#theres a part of me thats like...well...what if i did this job for a while...got my hysto next year...#saved up...got promoted...#then at some point move out...i was eyeing REDACTED CITY IN MY STATE#as a place to live especially post promotion (assuming i would get one) when i have more $$...#just a good way to sort of start my real adult life and all#but then i have an interview next week with a umm. i think it was a community college#over in another part of the state and then i got an email from a DIFFERENT cc#idk if we can interview because of schedule stuff we'll see. but that job pays GREAT money especially for my age#so im like ummm!!! hello...but i'm also not sure about the location...#i would definitely interview at least once just to get a feel for it#but im like arrrghhhh so much uncertainty...#raaaaggghhh#i've spent all summer saying i just want to skip ahead to the part where i have the job im sticking with#and everything is settled and nice#and it seems we're getting closer to that point but as we get closer i get more and more nervous#URRGH
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I cannot stay at this job for a second longer than I have to this sucks so bad holy shit
#ember talks#my supervisor keeps saying she wants to bring me on as a contractor after the internship ends and I have no way of telling her uh#respectfully I do not think I’d live through the semester if I did that#it’s not even grueling work I just hate the content and the company culture is a funeral at best#I can do corpo culture w layoffs or I can look at photos of necropsies for 8 hours a day#I can’t do both but I have to this summer#especially with the continued assumption I’m cis and straight and neurotypical in such a weirdly aggressive way#I have a presentation that I’ve been putting off building the slide deck for bc I just. I don’t know how to spin my project#it’s basically a grunt labor project but I’m qualified enough to speak to the principles behind it#but I was told to not talk abt the principles#or about what an archive is#and I got flack for not working 20 extra unpaid hours last week but there’s no way for me to do that without getting fired#I hate it so fucking much I’m so tired#I’m so tired of being tired#I know every job is going to suck but at least the other ones don’t have me staring at viscera trying to figure out how I can upload it#I know I should feel fortunate to have this job but I’m just lying on the floor sobbing rn#I’ve been working since 6:30 this morning I should just. stop#log the fuck off give the fuck up try again next week#(Monday I have an interview for a hopefully chiller job in the fall and I’m very excited for it tbh)#the team seems cool and it’s . idk it’ll be something I can live with doing#and I can work my other school year gig and I miss that team so much and they said they missed me too and#god I just rly wanna work full time at the library I work at during the year
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god forbid a lil sheepy has a fun weekend
#pentadraws#general hospital#michael easton#josh swickard#heyyyyy so. i know i told myself i wasn't gonna go to anymore of these til i got a job#and i was kinda on the fence about going to this one in the first place#but then i had a REALLY good job interview on thursday#it went so well they hired me the same day :3 so this sheepy is now officially emPLOYED#and i thought id get a ticket to this weekend's event as a treat for myself#anyways. did the sketches on the train and did the watercolor part during the show#they signed my sketchbook and they even liked my animal print sketches so much they to pics of them#also yall remember the playboy bunny chase drawing i did right. well i gave JS a tiny print of it >:)#he liked it :D they both found it amusing so. mission accomplished#also some folks recognized me from the last fan event i went to and from the sprina fanzine!#sidenote i was really hoping the funny waitress w/ the deep voice would be there so i could draw her picture#but alas she wasn't working today... maybe next time#also i remember i gave my lunch to some homeless guy bc i was afraid i was allergic to it#tried a virgin bloody mary today and it was. very weird!#and i spent the train ride home playing pmd on my ds#also im gonna go see spiderverse and eat crepes for breakfast ttomorrow#all in all! pretty good way to end the week!#thanx 4 reading gn :P
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never gonna be enough for my dad
#vent#rant#me talking#i keep trying to put in applications and he says i need to do even more acting as if it's my fault that im not getting hired#as if im not trying hard enough#and on the rare occasions that i do get an interview#which have so far all led nowhere#then he just tells me to keep looking while i wait to hear anything and that even if i do get a job#i still need to keep looking for better and better careers#and when i finally was able to do a commission he just said 'cool then do more keep going'#first of all i need to wait for clients#and second of all cant you say youre proud that i was able to do one? that i was able to make a little extra money?#no of course he can't#it's always about moving on to the next thing and pushing myself more#oh yeah and i got my hair cut the other day#and sure i did tell the hair stylist to get it as close to a full buzzcut without being an actual buzzcut#cuz dad refuses to let me buzz my own hair and im too tired to argue at this point despite being an adult#but when he saw it i could tell he didnt like it#he gave the vague 'oh well it's different! showing more forehead. i liked it better when you had longer bangs but thats just me...'#nothing i do pleases him#im tired of it#and i dont know how to tell him that he's part of the reason i constantly feel like a fucking failure#and there have been times where i'll see a car approaching me as i drive to work and for a split second i wonder what would happen#if i hit it hard enough to kill me. then i wouldn't have to disappoint my dad anymore#although knowing him it would still be a disappointment cuz i fucked up driving so much#but i never actually consider doing it#obviously id never want to hurt the other person and if i simply swerved instead to hit a tree#where only id die#i couldnt just let myself die when i have so many others that i care about#but anyway sorry this is a lot i have a headache i promise im not gonna hurt myself it just sucks rn
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