#i get into depressive periods where i just have no energy

[tiny-wren]

you aren't annoying, i just have a mood disorder. sorry

[caffeinatedopossum]

Starting to wonder if I have bipolar but then I would literally have almost every mental illness. Like fr I'm not kidding you, I'm a collector and I never chose this

[queercatboyrights]

totally not me having one of the shittiest mental health crisis known to man for like, the last week

[astrosamara]

Astrology Observations #3

🩵Venus in 8th tend to not date until later in life because love and relationships are serious to them. When they do get into a relationship, it can end up transforming them entirely. Saturn aspecting Venus can cause even further delays in romance.

🩵Mars in Leo rarely show their anger. It's not that they don't get angry, but they feel much too proud to let others know they're angry. I feel like people would assume all fire mars are quick and prone to anger, but I've rarely seen Mars in Leo get angry.

🩵I've met so many Sagittarius risings that have lived incredibly difficult lives with dark pasts. This usually surprises me since they're ruled by Jupiter. I wonder if it has something to do with their Scorpio 12th house?

🩵Sun in 7th are very non-confrontational people. They tend to be people pleasers who prefer being passive in conflict. They can struggle a lot with caring about what others think and because of that, they can struggle with expressing themselves genuinely and without fear of judgement.

🩵Pluto in your chart can show where you'll experience the greatest transformation in your life. I have Pluto in the 9th and higher education, spirituality, and traveling have deeply impacted my life the most. With Pluto energy though, this transformation tends to come through very dark and challenging periods.

🩵Pisces placements can spend so much time alone and not be bothered at all. In fact, their alone time is sacred to them. They're the type to get happy when plans are canceled.

🩵8th house stelliums are prone to heavy depression throughout their life due to how tapped in they are to the darker aspects of life. There's an unavoidable intensity and deepness to them. This familiarity with darkness can build this incredible resilience to get them through anything life throws their way. A lot of people with this stellium are drawn to spirituality as well, due to this interest in what is "hidden" from us.

🩵Capricorn placements are so blunt and their dry humor is my favorite. They have this no bullshit tell it how I see it energy to them that my Scorpio self loves. Capricorn humor is so underrated imo.

🩵Gemini moons and especially suns seem to know so many people and have so many connections. I feel like they're just naturally friendly and sociable. Even if they're introverted, they have this natural talent for communicating with others.

🩵Aquarius women have an otherworldly beauty to them. They look like beautiful mythical creatures. Their appearance is so unique and captivating. They also tend to have a style that stands out from the crowd in some way.

🩵Sagittarius MC/Jupiter in 10th dream of a career that can provide them freedom and opportunity. They're not meant for a traditional career at all and if they do have this type of career, it can really affect them negatively. Traveling can be prominent with this placement.

🩵Jupiter in 2nd/8th can have a lot of success with money in this lifetime. This is the creating generational wealth placement. Ofc with any placement, the sign it's in and aspects to Jupiter can be a stronger indicator of how this money comes in and how challenging the process is.

🩵Scorpio and Aquarius placements hate authority and restriction. They want to live their life their own way without anyone telling them what to do. They're the true rebels of the zodiac.

🩵Jupiter conjunct Ascendant/Jupiter in 1st can feel naturally lucky. They seem to get out of issues easily and have a very abundant and optimistic approach to life, even during times they feel like they've hit rock bottom. They don't linger in pessimism for too long because they see the bigger picture easier than most.

[lovejoy-soot1]

Woo bad day I guess

(Ignore the rambling in the tags, I’m mentally ill)

[astrobydalia]

Solar return observations

Virgo season is here which means my birthday is coming soon!!! I thought it would be fitting to share my first Solar Return observations with you. These are based on my experience, feel free to share yours!

Btw Ariel is my fave Disney princess I love her sm

work by astrobydalia

Fire rising in SR - these years were characterized for being SO SO chaotic and all over the place tbh. It was always a mix of good and bad things like damn I couldn't catch a break. So many rollecosters, STRESS, situations were I was at the edge of my seat, unpredictable and random stuff happening...

Air rising on SR - one word: fresh. Total opposite from fire risings. Air risings were years that felt so light and fresh! I felt like I was floating through the year in a good way! Just going with flow. And I've said this before the best most chill years where I've found myself thriving were Libra risings on SR (also venus in the 1st house)

Moon-Lilith conjunction in th SR - I felt like my life being sucked out of me and overall felt kinda unlucky that year. I felt so empty inside during this year it was insane. Also I was having mayor issues and conflicts with my mom

Chiron is in SR is a bit catastrophized imo. It can not only mean areas in your life that can "break" but also areas that could find healing or resolutions as well. Whenever I've seen the breaking or ending manifestation of this asteroid it was always from a place of reconsideration and healing rather destruction, like making peace with something. For example, Chiron in the 7th house could mean ending a relationship on good terms or unlearning unhealthy relationship patterns. On time I had Chiron in the 6th house and during that year I got a nice job after a long period of struggling to find a job. Of course it's nuanced and it can often be painful and disappointing process but I think people don't mention enough how Chiron is about finding relief as well

One time I read the SR for a client who had Pluto in the 6th house for that year and turns out she was planning to undergo surgery during that time for health reasons

Leo rising in SR - These years were TERRIBLE for some reason. Maybe it was due to Cancer 12th house but I was really struggling to find happiness and fulfillment in my life during these times

Cancer mars in the SR - So emotional!! Like truly it was years that were clouded by emotion. It was either due to family stuff, friends or relationships, but I was running on emotion all the time and I couldn't act on logic to save my life. However it's not like I was in my bed crying all day but rather these emotions were giving energy and motivation in some way. Somehow being emotional was always making be feel.... alive?

Moon in 12th house of SR - I was getting ready to move and separate from my family during this year

Taurus rising in SR - these years were surprisingly.... intense, specially with my relationships. A lot of patience, resisting and enduring. Every event that happened felt like I was going through a 10-year-long process and really had a strong impact in my life. Years were I reconsidered my priorities a lot and was really faced with what is it that I truly value

Uranus in the 1st house of SR - literally a few days prior to my bday I received shocking news that turned my entire year (and life) upside down so you can imagine how this energy played out. Life forcing changes on my life that I was not ready for but had to make it through one way or another

Virgo rising in SR - I started a new job!

Look at Part of Fortune and Vertex in your SR chart, these will be significant themes!

Capricorn rising in SR - I was.... borderline depressed here ngl. Those kind of years that never seem to end ever. I was receiving pressure from both my career life and my family life. Overall earth rising in the SR were years that felt very 'heavy' if that makes sense.

Juno in the 1st house of SR - these were years were I meant new people!!! I significantly enlarged my network

^Same thing with Venus/Libra/Vertex in the 7th house of SR. I didn't get into a relationships or had anything romantic going on, I met new people and made new friends in general. I also bought lots of new clothes and invested a lot in my image

Scorpio rising in SR -you know when you go through a very intense experience out of nowhere and then come out of it soon after like nothing happened and you're left feeling like "wtf was that for"? That's this.

Yod configuration in SR - very karmic life-changing and ground breaking events in my life. Before and after vibes

Moon in Capricorn in the SR - my girlboss era!!!! These were years were I began new professional opportunities like my first job or my first year in college

Moon in the 8th house of SR - you guessed it: trauma. I'm talking canon event kind of trauma. A family member died.

Vertex in the 8th house of SR - this was playing life on hard mode honestly. Not necessarily traumatic, but very complicated events and situations here that put you to the test

work by astrobydalia

[crystalflygeo]

Last of her kind Emperor!Alpha!Zhongli + Omega!Dragoness!Reader

cw/tags: Your usual mentions of slavery and sexual themes, A/B/O dynamics and heat mentions. Also allusions to depression and mentions of death.

notes: Aahahaha this took forever..... allow me top explain: first of all my new job is killing me and second of all I'm going through a hard period where I don't really like anything I write anymore. This work in particularly I kept struggling with the pacing, the dialogues, the way I wanted feelings to come across or scenes to flow it's just hhhnnnggg. I told a couple of friends that I set the bar so high with the first part I feel like nothing else I write will be that good. Then the second part was "ok" but cut off in a cliffhanger and has been there for SO LONG that now I feel this will be underwhelming after all the buildup//hit

I hope it's not. I hope it's good.

Anyway this part is in Zhongli's pov and contains flashbacks which will be fully in italics! Enjoy! and thanks for caring so much about this story ;w; ILU all <3

<- Part 2.

Your instincts mess up with your head.

Your crying and anxiety have simmered to a cold numbness.

Hours blur together, time loses meaning.

The doctor comes by sometimes. The maids bring you food. But everything feels… off, distant.

This doesn’t feel… like your usual heats.

You curl up and sob, a choked soft noise.

You don’t feel hot, but rather cold. Limbs weak. Dizzy.

Your heart aches.

You’re so tired.

And so sleepy…

Zhongli puts down the seal stamp and deflates back into his chair with a sigh, he must have read the same line at least five times already. He cannot concentrate at all. It’s not even been three days and each hour, each minute, feels eternal.

He’s already gotten so used to your presence, so smitten with you and your little quirks, your rare smiles, the way your ears and tail flicker, your pretty eyes…

And he remembers those same eyes begging for him, teary. Your pitiful cry. Your distressed scent.

Guilt eats at him. As well as something else…

He’s been restless, barely slept. Your scent is a siren’s song on the blankets, tart and fresh and tantalizing, but you are not with him. Anxious energy flows in his veins. This emotion, this thing that is like regret and sorrow and fear all tangled together, cleaves him through. His instincts are screaming at him, rattling inside a cage of his own making. His mate, his precious Omega is in heat, you’re scared and lonely and need him. Zhongli has to suppress a growl and feel the shudder of his scales at the fact that he’s not with you. In your nest. Taking care of you.

It’s agonizing.

"How is she?"

The same question, over and over, at any chance he gets.

"She refuses to eat, your majesty." Xiao tells him, and he can feel the concern in the younger Alpha’s voice. “According to the maids she only took a few bites of the ajilenak nuts, the rest of the food was left untouched.”

…

"She's um... she's always sleeping when I go check up on her." Ganyu explains a little crestfallen. She too is worried. “A-at least I think she’s in no pain… she was clinging to one of your hanfus.”

…

"You should go see her, Zhongli." Ping states, a rare serious expression on her usual gentle factions. “Baizhu says she’s going through the worst case of separation sickness he’s ever seen. Is that really what you want your poor Yin to go through?”

He lets out a frustrated rumble.

“Of course not. But it’s for the best, I don’t want to… take advantage of her, or force her to anything.” Zhongli frowns, trying to focus on the papers in front of him again, in an attempt to ignore her piercing gaze.

“Is it really any of that if she wants her mate?” Ping retorts. “She was begging you.”

I know.

He growls this time, and shakes his head at his memory of you. It haunts him.

“She doesn’t know what she wants.”

“So, you’re deciding for her then? Is that it? Honestly, are you listening to yourse-”

“She’s been conditioned to serve.” He cuts her off, voice grave and somber. “Trained to be submissive and please. She likes me simply because I’m kind to her, she wants me because she thinks it’s her obligation as my mate. I feel the pull of the bond too, the need, the yearning. But I also know she is afraid of Alphas and she thinks… she thinks she has to obey me. That she owes me something or that own her.” His eyes narrow. “I didn’t need to bond her. I shouldn’t have bonded her. I just… wanted her to be free and instead I chained her to me. And now she’s in heat…”

And it drives him insane.

“Listen to me, we’ve both spent time with her, enough to know she’s opening up and learning to voice her feelings…” Ping reasons gently. “It’s a slow process, don’t hurt her this way. At the very least… go see her.”

“I lost control once with just one kiss from her. I will not do it again. I will not harm her any further.”

The elderly woman keeps silent for a few moments. Zhongli sighs and rests his forehead in his palm in defeat.

And then Ganyu approaches, a little tense, a stack of papers in her hands.

“Your majesty, the Qixing are starting to arrive, council meeting will begin soon.”

“Very well. Thank you Ganyu.” He stands up and nods at her, then turns to Ping and his demeanor softens a little. “You know I just want to correct my mistakes, and give her the life she deserves. At least a fraction of it, of happiness.”

It wasn’t supposed to go this way… Zhongli sighed as he walked up to the room where the “reunion” with the sumerian would take place. It was long overdue seeing as he had spent the night by your side, refusing to leave after you had cried and begged so desperately…

After he had bonded you.

He had initially taken the eremite’s claims with a grain of salt, but naturally he had to make sure. The last dragonblood had supposedly died decades ago, so how…?

And yet when he saw you for the first time in that room, he knew.

You were real, you were beautiful. Suddenly he felt a million things at once: He wanted to get to know you, stay close to you, protect you. Old draconic instinct vibrating excitedly on his soul. You smelled vaguely familiar, your tail was gorgeous, your ears adorable. What if you didn’t like him though? What if he harmed you? Scared you? Suddenly he was nervous, nervous of ruining this, nervous in a way he hadn’t been in so long, like when he’d been young and Liyue had been at war and he had lost everything to fire and smoke and dust and he had to make difficult decisions and-

He had always calculated his moves. No room for risks. Too much at stake.

But you, you disarmed him. Completely.

You, with your polite gentleness despite the obvious cracks beneath the surface.

You, with your beautiful looks and enormous potential, even if you didn’t see it yourself.

You, with that look of yearning and hope, with your soft lips and sweet moans, with your warm body fitting perfectly against his.

For once, he allowed himself to make a decision with his heart, not logic, not politics. Just instincts.

And he claimed you…

…

He enters the room. A couple Millelith soldiers stationed by the door, Xiao standing by his side loyally as he sits at his place of honor as the emperor. Your ‘master’, an Alpha eremite named Zaheer, kneels respectfully a little below.

“I see you liked her, your majesty” He offers a sly smirk. “Did she satisfy you properly? She’s been trained on her gag reflexes to-”

Zhongli -Morax- resists the urge to growl. “We are not here to discuss that.”

“Ah, of course, business!”

Business.

“Since she’s such an exotic and well-trained slave I suppose we could agree on…”

“Do you think of me an idiot, Zaheer?” Morax’s eyes narrow.

“P-Pardon me?”

“She is a pureblood xiānshòu. I want to know exactly how she ended up being enslaved by you and your people.”

Cold and calculating golden eyes stare down at the eremite.

“W-What… she’s desert-born!” Zaheer retorts back angrily “She was born at a heat house. Maybe she has traits from your people because one of them decided to get a cheap fuck while traveling.”

“You expect me to believe that?” Morax asks unfazed “Liyue has records of the last of her kind disappearing and presumably being murdered when a village near Sumeru borders was razed to the ground. Do you have a disclosure?”

Zaheer stands up and growls, clearly an Alpha not used to having to bow his head and accept things not going his way.

Clearly an Alpha used to intimidating and attacking others.

Xiao wields his spear and changes his stance to an offensive one. The Millelith guards also tense.

Zaheer gets even more irritated, feeling like a caged animal. Backed into a corner. “Emperor or not” He starts through gritted teeth. “If you’re not going to pay me then I’ll take my merchandise back and do business elsewhere where I’m not being accused of ridiculous claims.”

“You’re right that I won’t be doing any business with you, but we’ll see how ridiculous those claims truly are. Zaheer, by my word as the emperor you will now remain detained in Liyue.” Morax sentences.

The eremite’s red eyes widen in shock and rage and the desert-dweller shoots up to attack Morax, getting easily overpowered and neutralized by Xiao’s quick moves. In seconds his weapon drops to the floor as the Yaksha general points his spear at the unconscious man. The Millelith quickly retrieve him and the blade before Morax simply nods at them.

Months. It had been months since then and he had to begrudgingly release the man as no accusation connected him to anything. They were essentially out of leads. There did appear to be documentation of your birth at a desert village but Zhongli would be hard pressed to believe the half-assed story you’ve been told…

And since you are pureblood, then both of your parents, and most importantly your dam, was also a dragonblood. That’s at the very least one Liyue citizen enslaved in a foreign nation.

He would get to the bottom of this.

For now, however, he had to cast those worries aside.

The Seven members of the council sit around the large table, the Liyue Qixing, leaders of all the commerce and trade sectors of the nation.

Zhongli takes his place at the head of the table. Ganyu does so as well by the sideline.

“Very well, what’s our first topic today?”

“Did Master just… leave?”

There was silence at the table, Zhongli and Ping sit frozen and you get just a bit nervous.

It’d been a few days since you started your new life, and though Zhongli was sure you were warming up to it he knew you still had a long way to go. It was probably still a little surreal for you… such a big change from everything you knew.

The tension on his shoulders quickly drops again. He continues eating. “Yes.” He says simply. Ping follows his lead, saying nothing.

The faster you forget about that eremite, the better.

“Hm…” You continue eating as well. Your expression is a little conflicted…

You inhale.

“Was he… happy… that I finally found a mate?”

Zhongli turns to you sharply and tenses again like a cat bristling. He holds back his tongue so as to not say something he’d regret. Why do you still care about that despicable man’s opinion? Why do you still seek his approval? Did you really think he cared about you? Zhongli desperately wants to make you understand how that slave-owner only saw you as an object, how he fed you lies, how his mistreatment is inexcusable…

But he can only imagine how deep your scars run, and how that toxic mindset has settled and accompanied you for years. He cannot judge you for caring about someone who doesn’t deserve it.

“Why do you ask, dear?” Ping asks instead.

“I don’t know…” You mumble, poking at the congee with your spoon. “I always wanted to make him proud.”

Proud.

Him?

“I think what matters most is how you feel.” Zhongli says, his hand reaching out for yours invitingly and you place your fingers on his palm, getting a soft reassuring squeeze. “You don’t need to rely on how others view you or think about you.”

You seem thoughtful for a second, your ears flickering back insecure but then standing up alert again. “I am happy” You admit. “Very happy. I have the best mate in the world.” You smile brightly.

Zhongli’s heart does a flip.

“With the excessive rains in the northern villages, there have been many floods and a lot of crops have been severely damaged or lost. Our previous contingency plan is in action already and donations are being sent to help the affected families. However, we must prepare for a decline in the harvest of certain grains and vegetables this season, as well as an increase in prices for a few months due to the shift in demand and supply.” Keqing explains expertly, the young alpha’s expression is serious and solemn.

“It’s an opportunity to strengthen commerce with Mondstadt and Sumeru.” Ningguang chimes in, leaning back on her chair, arms crossed. “The value of jade and other crystals is on the rise as well.”

“Not to mention, we’ll be employing several architects from the Akademiya to help with the rebuilding.” Keqing adds, turning to Ganyu, who nods.

“Greater lord Rukkhadevata and lesser Lord Kusanali have agreed on a certain exchange program with Liyue. I started drafting up some proposals already if you’d like to see.” The blue-haired secretary passes along some documents.

Ningguang’s eyes skim along the page. “It’s almost like our new Sumeru-born empress was a sign.” She smirks. “By the way, where is she?” She turns to Zhongli, curious about her fellow Omega.

“She’s rather indisposed at the moment.” The emperor replies dryly, not wanting to delve much onto the touchy subject. “Ganyu this looks good, however we need to think about-”

There is a knock that quickly surprises everyone. Who could interrupt a council meeting and why?

Baizhu peeks in with Changsheng curled around his neck, a frown on his usually gentle features. “Your majesty, a word. It’s an emergency.”

All the members at the table stare silently as Zhongli stands and follows the doctor.

Ganyu has a bad feeling…

“We have no time, follow me.” The green-haired doctor walks briskly along the wooden corridors, he looks… frustrated, dejected.

“What’s wrong?”

He doesn’t want to panic. He never panics. But something inside him does. It’s obvious that this has to do with you. 

“I apologize, your majesty. I thought it was just a case of separation sickness but… the empress is showing signs of widow’s wasting.”

Zhongli stops.

His heart skips a beat. His skin prickles with dread.

“She’s… dying?”

Baizhu shakes his head. “It hasn’t reached that point yet, but… she’s deteriorating.”

The guilt is back. The fear.

“Given what happened, I’m pretty certain the shock of your rejection was the trigger. Still, it is highly unusual for a Yin to suffer from widow’s wasting without their partner actually dying, even more so for it to settle so quickly. Her reaction is akin to someone who had never left their mate’s side for years.” Baizhu explains.

You trusted him.

And he turned his back on you.

What have I done?

“In any casssse, it’ssss not too late.” Changsheng’s little voice pipes in. Baizhu keeps leading the way and Zhongli follows, though he obviously knows the entire palace like the palm of his hand, at the moment his thoughts are scattered and far far away.

“She needs her mate’s reassurance. I have done what I can with medicine but this is a bonded pair matter.” Finally, he stops at a juncture and turns to Zhongli. “Please, your majesty, only you can save her. I will tell Ganyu, Xiao and Ping of the situation, and if you need anything, just ask.”

Zhongli nods, mute.

The snake narrows her eyes. “Don’t leave her sssside.”

“Changsheng.” Baizhu shushes.

She is right to chastise him. He deserves that and more.

“I won’t.” Zhongli nods and heads down the hall.

Widow’s wasting.

The words echo in his head. He’s seen the damage it can do. How a broken bond, the loss of the most important person, can destroy someone inside. Did you really care that much about him? Did he really hurt you that badly?

“Please…”

He didn’t mean to.

“I have the best mate in the world.”

He feels like a monster.

“I want to stay with you. Sleep together. Like mates.”

He needs to see you. He needs to make sure you’re ok…

He stands in front of the nest room. The same one where he first met you.

Opening the doors only slightly to slip inside, Zhongli's eyes widen and a hand flies to cover his nose and mouth when a strong smell shakes him to his very core.

The room he expected to be completely saturated with intense heat pheromones… instead bears the acrid scent of despair.

This isn’t the lustful call to breed and have children that made an omega vulnerable and pliant. No. It is a desperate cry from a heartbroken omega for their mate to come back, to stay with them, to love and protect them. It is grief.

You are suffering because of him.

To think all this time… he was afraid he'd make you uncomfortable. That he’d scare you, hurt you, ruin the bond you’ve carefully built. Instead, he is overcome by an all-consuming terror. Every part of him screaming at his mate's weak essence.

And there you are, his precious treasure, his sweet dragoness.

You lay curling in on yourself letting out small muffled sobs.

“Y/n…” 

No reaction.

“Darling, my dear dragoness…” He rushes up to you immediately, grabs your hand and pets your hair. You look so weak, your skin is feverish, how has it only been three days? It feels like a lifetime…

You shift a little and your eyes blink open, staring at him dazed, red and puffy and your expression defeated. You let out a pitiful whine and more of that bitter sad scent is released. 

“No my dear, don’t cry, I’m here. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.” Zhongli coos as he curls up to you, frantically starting to scent and nip at your neck and shoulders affectionately. His horns manifest and his tail follows through, lashing about a little restless. The bond… feels wrong, broken. He should be able to intimately feel you this close and yet…

He tries to reposition you a little so you can lie on top of him, rest on his chest. It’s concerning how easily he can do so, you’re like a ragdoll in his arms, unresponsive and unmoving. His hands cup your face, thumbs rubbing at the traces of tears in your cheeks. You let out a frustrated whimper. “Shhhh shh it’s okay. I’m so sorry.”

Even if he says it a million times, it won’t feel enough.

Zhongli nuzzles at your neck and proceeds to do something he hasn’t done since he was practically a teen. He purrs. It’s a little rusty, comes off more as a grumbling but it seems to work as he feels you relax just slightly in his arms.

“I’m right here” Zhongli’s deep voice assures you, tugging you closer, mouthing at the soft skin along your collarbone. “I’m not going anywhere and I’m all yours, I promise, I promise. I won’t leave you alone, not ever.” He soothes.

He lowers a bit of your clothes at the shoulder and grazes his fangs along your faded mark, you tense and let out a long shaky breath.

“Everything will be ok.” He kisses the spot. “I’m sorry.”

And then he sinks his fangs in to reestablish the claim.

You cry out in pain and squirm, clawing at his clothes, but he holds you, his hand rubbing circles at your back, his tail intertwining with yours.

...

.....

...

At first nothing changes, but after a few moments… a low strained purr bubbles up from within you again.

[n3xii]

This reading will focus on the following topics:

-who you were

-who you are now

-who you are becoming

One question, 2 question, aura readings etc are all available for purchase right now. Book here for a same day/next day reading!

PILE ONE

who you were- "six of pentacles"

who you are now- "8 of wands"

who you're becoming- "knight of cups reversed"

As represented by the Six of Pentacles, you were once characterized by a balanced and generous nature. I feel like this card symbolizes that you were giving, even at the expense of yourself. You may have been someone who valued fairness, compassion, and giving back to others. Your focus may have been on maintaining harmony in your relationships and making sure everyone received their fair share of time and energy, even if you weren't getting the same energy in return. The Eight of Wands indicates a shift towards greater momentum, action, and forward movement in your life. At this point in time, you becoming more dynamic, assertive, and decisive in pursuing your goals and ambitions. i feel like this is a transition from being giving and compassionate to being focused on your own growth, rather than the growth of other people. the 8 of wands is direct, forward, this feels like you are currently embodying the ''keep it pushing'' mentality. you are no longer delaying your momentum to help or give energy to people who dont even deserve it. and because your energy is being harnessed for your own growth, you now have more energy in general. The transition to the Knight of Cups reversed signals being self indulged. i dont know why but intuitively, i just feel like you are shifting from being dynamic and giving with your energy to being more protective of your emotions. you are becoming someone who indulges in themselves more than you indulge in others. your well being takes priority before you invest in other people.

PILE TWO

who you were- seven of pentacles reversed

who you are now- ace of cups reversed

who you are becoming- death reversed

the seven of pentacles reversed tells me that in the past, you were someone who was disillusioned with the lack of progress or results in your endeavors. when tings didnt move at the pace or direction you desired, you felt disappointed and frustrated. This card suggests a period of impatience, dissatisfaction, or setbacks, where you may have been questioning your efforts and wondering if your investments of time and energy are yielding your desired outcomes. The Ace of Cups reversed reflects a shift in emotional energy. right now, you may be experiencing a period of emotional stagnation, disconnection, and disappointment. the stagnated and disillusioned energy of the 7 of pentacles reversed is manifesting as emotional issues. you desire progress and movement, and because you're not seeing the movement you think you have earned, you may feel depressed and apathetic. This card suggests that your heart may have felt closed off or unfulfilled. right now, you may be struggling to find emotional fulfillment or to experience genuine connections in your relationships. However, the transition to Death reversed indicates a significant turning point in your journey. While Death typically symbolizes endings and transformation, in its reversed position, it suggests a resistance to change or a reluctance to let go of the past. You may be clinging to old patterns, beliefs, or relationships that no longer serve your growth and evolution. you are becoming someone who will have a wakeup call about the things and people you are clinging to, and this wakeup call will make you aware of why you have been feeling stagnant.

PILE THREE

who you were- page of pentacles reversed

who you are- the empress

who you are becoming- king of swords

Beginning with the Page of Pentacles reversed, in the past you may have once exhibited traits of immaturity, insecurity, or lack of direction in your endeavors. This card suggests a period of uncertainty or delays in your pursuit of your ambitions. To be honest, I feel like in the past, you may have struggled with self-doubt and a lack of confidence in your abilities to manifest your desires effectively. This lack of belief in yourself manifested as a lack of dedication and inspired action. However, the Empress signifies a shift towards a more nurturing, abundant, and fertile energy. inthe present moment. you are embracing qualities of creativity, abundance, and nurturing in your life. You are exhibiting belief towards yourself and nurturing what you want to manifest/ The Empress represents a period of growth, fertility, and expansion, right now you are tapping into your inner resources and creativity to nurture your dreams and cultivate abundance in your life. you could be tapping into your feminine energy and trying to develop the understanding that you dont have to force things to happen, that progress can occur naturally if you are receptive to it. You may be finding fulfillment in creative pursuits, nurturing relationships, and connecting with your intuition and inner wisdom. As for who you are becoming, the King of Swords indicates a further evolution towards greater clarity, authority, and mastery of intellect and communication. you are becoming someone who embodies qualities of intellect, logic, and rationality. You are becoming more assertive, decisive, and authoritative in your approach to problem-solving and decision-making. You wont be flimsy or impractical towards your practical goals, instead you are becoming someone who uses rationality and objectiveness to take action. You are becoming someone who beliefs in their intellectual ability to make things happen. You are embracing your inner wisdom and leadership abilities, using communication skills to navigate the path towards what you want. you ae basically going from ''i dont know how to make this happen'' to having the intellectual ability and resources that instill you with more confidence.

[astrow0rldx]

PAC tarot: Their fears about you and the connection (anyone)

choose the picture your intuition guides you too ✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

dm for personals $

Pile one

strong woman vibes. ceo energy, an empress, someone who is on top of their stuff. not on financially, but just under control with life like your a warrior. and you push through, like a independent strong divine feminine woman. this might be something their scared of. scared of not knowing what your about to do, scared of what your controlling, scared of what your doing in general with finances. scared of what your moving on to, working towards, giving. their scared of maybe your maturity, independence, guardedness. they are scared of the obstacles you deal with alone. i dont know if they are jealous, i don't know if you already work with them, in a connection, business idea or something, but they are scared of you learning something new and working on it and then protecting it, guarding it and keeping it to yourself. scared of you going back to the past, maybe your past ways, or getting to comfortable with something else. your coming out as the king of swords though, they see you as very smart, logical, straightforward and headstrong, this is like maybe they don't want you to one up them or something. all of this is coming out for their fears.

for the connection they are scared of maybe an ending with you guys. scared of a drastic change or betrayal after you already built stability. they are scared of another romantic, cup of love coming in. they are scared of you maybe figuring out something, or maybe they are scared of what you already know. and its like your mysterious and their curious. they are scared of someone being a victim though in this situation, wether its you or them from this hidden knowledge. they are scared of maybe you exploring, going on adventure, manifesting new things, and get into your potential where everything will cause a drastic change and chaos. they maybe feel probably defeated by you, or like in competition maybe.

Pile Two

their scared of your emotions, or their scared of you hurting them. breaking their heart, leaving them. someone could be having an emotional realization that their scared of having or you having. someone could really love you, and their scared of you hurting or you hurting them. their scared of dealing with your bullshit/you dealing with theirs, or you dealing with a lot of bullshit but still its like where will you go, don't leave. don't go no where else and shine. if you leave me you will break my heart. if you already hurt them, their scared of you and how you hurt them and made them feel so down and depressed.

maybe they are scared that justice will happen within the connection, from a past situation. they are scared of an ex coming back shutting it to pieces, or if they are the ex that when they do come back it will cause a tower moment and shutter and cause someone to be very guarded. they are scared where they have to be really guarded, and fight like a warrior or they are scared of this about you. they are scared of someone kind of punishing someone for their emotional hardships if they caused it or not. changing your perspective, or maybe letting go and being non chalant. they are scared of this connection, bond, friendship period tho. and who might be the one to bring justice and let go and see from a new perspective. picking up a lot of emotional hurt, and shaky energy within the connection.

Pile Three

ouuu pile three, im definitely picking up on a romantic, crush, lover vibe. if not they love you regardless. but they might be scared on how to control themself, say the right things, start the connection, take it slow. they might be very physically attracted, sexually, and satisfied but its like their scared because they like you so much. they are scared of how to be strong and disciplined to make the right decisions, not get hurt, even if they are already hurt, their scared because they have things to say to you, or they feel like you may have some smart things to say to them. they are scared of arguments, they are scared of people fireying up in the connection, throwing shots and hurting people. they are scared of a decision you have to make, something your anticipating or hesistating for and scared of kind of your next move, where your going. scared of you traveling around, scared of your impulsive decisions.

about the connection, they are scared of this ultimate happiness, wish fulfillment with you has illusions with it, somethings hidden, scared of the anxiety and getting insecure and out of stable with you, mentally, physically, financially, etc etc. they are scared of lust controlling the connection, they want to take that slow and steady. they are scared of toxic energy that might happen with time, and wish to keeps it harmonious. im getting libra vibes lol. wish to balance things out, makes sure things stay stable. scared of getting attached, or scared of negativity. cheating, obsession, affairs, stealing, manipulation, etc.

[pupp0ccino]

My Dust variant facts !

That no one asked for yay! ⟢

If I ever get to coloring these refs the current image will be replaced with the finished product.. also disclaimer, im aware these aren't canon , I just like having fun with characters and making my own versions of them

Dust

- he's a shapeshifter, having three forms. His normal form, Dustbunny, and Ghost. I hc him to have some form of identity/personality disorder (it's unspecified which one, that's up to y'all what you want him to have) so multiple forms with different personalities.

- his normal form, is simply just Dust. Hes the closest to looking like classic sans appearance wise compared to horror and killer.

- Dustbunny was mainly made as a kinsona, and for funzies, but Dust only morphs into this slightly smaller form as a defense mechanism, for he feels 'weak and pathetic' like prey. It's basically just him, but taking more on a bunny-like appearance and behavior. Like dust he's very closed off and quiet, but will rather flee than fight.

- Ghost is the complete opposite. Tall, sadistic and cruel with a sick smile plastered on his face. He comes in when Dust's getting a power trip, or needs to get big and protect himself. It kind of puts him in sort of a state of mania, where he has little sympathy for the people around him and how his actions affect others. He's a meanie, and loves to tease at people when ever he sees an opening

- Dust does not like to look in mirrors, or really have his hood off for long periods of time, nor being looked at. Makes him freak out

- he partakes in rabbit like behaviors, his nose twitches when his curious or irritated, he stomps his foot against the ground when he's upset, and he burrows. Accompanied by his tail being a rabbits tail !

- he's also a vampire, like nightmare, but instead of sucking the negativity out of souls, he just has cravings to bite and drink blood, has large sharp fangs, plus being a total night owl.

- he has really bad avoidant attachment when it comes to relationships, he's in fact fearful of gaining close bonds due to the fact he's lost people he's loved over and over and over and over again, before literally killing them off himself. So he purposely pushed himself away from people to not get too close.

- as in the picture above, he has markings speckled all across his face, it's also the same for his body down his arms and shoulders. He's kind of embarrassed about it, and hates it being pointed out

- he goes through psychosis, and psychotic episodes

- he's a stoner lolz (despite maryjane usage very much not being recommended to people who deal with psychosis...)

- his room is a depression room most of the time, he has a little mattress on the floor that looks like a nest

- he's a monster energy drinker because yes

- he's selectively mute, and has a very low social battery. He doesn't like crowded spaces and only has a select few people he talks to (killer, horror, fell)

- he has a hard time remembering to eat and will accidentally and sometimes purposely go days without eating. When he does eat, it's in very small portions, he doesn't like food like he used to.

- he doesn't like touch, don't touch him he will stab you

- Phantom, the papyrus voice in his head. What he says to dust is based on his state of mind. When he's in a normal state of mind, Phantom is a lot more like how papyrus usually acts , getting on Dust for little things like telling him to clean his room or that he has to take care of himself. The voice worsens as his state of mind worsens turning from silly banter to tormenting him about what he's done, and sometimes papyrus can also be like a Jiminy cricket to dust, a judge to his morals, and trying to set him on the right path. Dust hates this , and rarely ever listens.

- one of the things he does in his free time is play video games, he's your basic gamer boy. He likes to play cod mainly

- another hobby of his is that he likes to sew, and patch work his clothing and fabric items, along with making little plushies.

- bad sans poly bad sans poly toxic yaoi ..

That's it for now , I'll probably add more on later !!

Dust belongs to ask-dusttale

[dreamdazedworld]

YINGXING BRAINROT

Synopsis: Yingxing x Genshin! Youkai! Gender neutral Reader and the both of them are hopelessly in love.

Note(s): I was listening to 愛き夜道 on Spotify when I suddenly got this idea, now it won’t leave me alone. Anyways, I think that this is the first post I actually wrote, so yippie? Eat up, my children, you won’t be having these Yingxing crumbs for some while. This might actually turn into a full blown fic, though it depends on my motivation LOL

Warning(s): Both of them are hopelessly in love with each other, death mentioned (nothing serious, dw), oops now you have a Yandere! Blade chasing you around Teyvat

Art credit goes to my favorite artist, void/Re:era on X! Their art is really pretty, check them out if you can :o

Imagine a Genshin! Youkai! Reader who’s a fox/kitsune (like Yae), and fell in love with YINGXING, like it has all of the potential fr.

So! Of course, Reader here is from Inazuma, and their… clan (let’s all pretend that the Youkai has separate clans) feeds only on the feelings (and emotions), positive ones, to be precise, of humans (like the dementors from Harry Potter!). Negative ones are like poison to them- And the only antidote for this is the Sacred Sakura, however, there are lasting after effects. Once poisoned, the kitsune will be significantly weakened for a long period of time, ranging from a few decades to centuries on end, depending on how much the kitsune consumed.

Kitsune! Reader, unlike the others from their clan, doesn’t like feeding on humans (because it ends up driving their victim mad and they like humans). Of course they understand that it’s necessary for them to survive, they’re not dumb, they can feel their hunger growing with each day they refused to feed on humans. So, with no more options, decides to blend into human society by protecting mankind from the ‘evil’ Youkai, and occasionally feeding on people who are about to die (with guilt). Their love for humanity and stubborn determination to protect humans ends up earning them a Pyro vision that supplies them with some energy to keep them going, since visions are literally wishes with a physical shape, and wishes have positive energy.

One day, while resting on the Sacred Sakura, Reader accidentally finds out that the Sakura has clones, which are spread across multiple worlds by waking up in the Xianzhou Luofu. There, they meet young Yingxing, who’s still learning under that grandpa, when he stumbles into the area where the clone is located. There, they become friends, and as years pass, eventually drinking buddies as well. After Yingxing meets the High-Cloud Quintet and as years fade away, our dear Reader here realizes they’re hopelessly in love with….. Yingxing!? Instantly gives up on their love as soon as they realize, because they think he doesn’t see them in that light (honey, he does), and to rub salt to the wound, in love with Bai Heng, since Yingxing talks about her a lot. But of course it doesn’t go as easily as they want it to go, so the Reader just silently suffers with their emotions.

When shit starts to go down in the Quintet after Bai Heng’s death, Reader goes “Oh fuck, Yingxing’s negative energy is going to make him choose the shittiest life options, won’t it?” and starts to suck away his pain (by kissing him in his sleep because YES). Yingxing starts getting better in exchange for Reader’s health, and in the end, Reader fucking COLLAPSES, forced to go back to Inazuma to recover, Yingxing learns about everything they were keeping from him through a letter, depression hits and oh wow, Yingxing chooses the most shittiest life decision he has ever made by teaming up with Dan Feng to cause the Sedition of Imbibitor Lunae, turning him immortal, and eventually into Blade. (I forgot to mention it but only the original Sacred Sakura has the ability to heal away the poison.)

As thousands of years pass, Reader fully recovers, though not exactly since they can’t let go of Yingxing. The Sakoku degree is lifted, and everything seems fine in Inazuma, until they come across a person who they thought were already dead- You guessed it, Blade! But not just typical Blade, Yandere! Blade who is on the brink of insanity and is hellbent on bringing Reader along with him. And so, the game of cat and mouse ensues.

[just-a-ghost00]

A message from a beloved soul 🕊️

Recently, I felt called to ask for advice from passed on artists that have greatly impacted my life. A few months ago, my role model and most beloved artist passed away suddenly. I never thought this day would come. Or rather I didn’t want to think about it. And lately I feel his energy very strongly. I thought that maybe some of you could need some advice from an artist you miss dearly as well. I’m sorry if this triggers anybody. I thank these beautiful souls that have provided us with light and love for all these years for their messages and I hope that wherever they are in the Universe, their soul is at peace. ❤️

Group 1

Letters : B Y I T J S L G K M U A P G D F Words : guys, tails, mask, Sag, just, Jiluka, Atsuki, July, Aug, days, pay, gay, Yumi, Yuki, Bad guy, kid, must play, guita(r), fly, BSK, family, silk, ask my pals if I still must (???), stalk, dumb, Mt Fuji

Tissue box messages : Singer, blue eyes, Scorpio I TRANSFORM Nov 23 to Nov 29, Capricorn I CREATE Jan 20 to Feb 16, 6th house daily life I LOVE, 12th house Spiritual life I DREAM

Their channeled message to you :

Baby the world is yours to take. Fate is yours to create. No matter the pain, no matter the fears, no matter the obstacles, you must live on. Do you hear me? Live. Scream at the top of your lungs. You can cry too. But don’t give up. I am with you every step of the way. My wings will carry you for as long as I can.

Clarifications - 10 of swords, Black Numen, King of cups, King of wands, 10 of pentacles, 10 of cups

This artist that you are asking about knows that you are going through a hard time and that a part of you doesn’t believe in your ability to make it through but they want to reassure you because not only do you have what it takes but the outcome is going to be much more brighter than you could ever imagine. You’re getting there. You’re so close to reaching your goal. I believe that there are actually two artists that are surrounding you with their love. They are both encouraging you to keep moving, though you may not understand where this will lead you, though you may not see the bigger picture. Because after this period of grieving and emotional turmoil, of hardships and uncertainty, awaits a bright and warm future, full of joy and abundance. While one helps you heal your wounds and deal with possible depression/mental health issues, the other is helping you manifest success in all areas of your life by fueling your fire and inspiring you. You may feel like your creativity is boosted and your mind is fuming with new ideas. Both of them are masculine in their energy. One of them may especially connect with you through your dreams while the other would rather put on your way resources and people that are beneficial to your growth. The channeled message you received was from the one you were asking about. But the other artist still wanted to silently show their support. I believe that in their living time this person wasn’t very talkative but would instead show their love through actions. They remained the same in the after life.

🕊️🕊️🕊️🕊️🕊️🕊️🕊️🕊️🕊️🕊️🕊️🕊️🕊️🕊️🕊️🕊️🕊️

Group 2

Letters : A V U S E I F S V N A U I M K P Words : miss u, veins, pain, pause, Suki, fave, fame, pave, Mana, Aki, naive, invasive, Nivea, niveau (French for level), suave, Kaname, kiss me, five men, fans, vie (life/live), Pisa

Tissue box messages : Gym rat, creative soul, dorky/quirky, Scorpio I TRANSFORM Nov 23 to Nov 29, Ophiuchus I HEAL Nov 29 to Dec 17, 1st house awareness of self I AM

Their message to you :

My Jade ~ You are so beautiful. Your soul is so beautiful it shines all the way to heaven. God and the angels are so pleased with you. Seeing you grow so much has been my biggest joy and pride. I believe that you can light up this world and save so many people from themselves. But first make sure to save yourself, okay?! Love you ❤️

Clarifications - 9 of pentacles, The Lovers, Knight of cups, Judgment, King of cups, 6 of cups

You must prioritize yourself by choosing to give yourself the love you so willingly give to others. That much is clear. When the time is right and balance is restored, a soulmate will be sent to you to pour more love into your cup. They will come to you slowly but surely. You will recognize them by their piercing gaze and their powerful voice. You know them already. Wow that was very specific. There are a lot of water related cards, three of which can be associated with Scorpio. Then there is also Gemini energy and Taurus energy. I believe that in their living time the artist you asked about was a very generous and wise person. They were probably an old soul and had a hard time finding people they could deeply connect with. I get the feeling that you followed this person since you were a child and you looked up to them. They are a soulmate of yours. Their energy feels very balanced. I believe this person was very spiritual and always did their best to do the right choice and be the bigger person. They would always think of their loved ones before anything else and maybe that is one thing that caused this person a lot of sadness. Which is why they urge you to prioritize yourself. They know too well the cost of overgiving to others only to be left with so little.

🕊️🕊️🕊️🕊️🕊️🕊️🕊️🕊️🕊️🕊️🕊️🕊️🕊️🕊️🕊️🕊️🕊️

Group 3

Letters : C N L C Z E K U V O T B E A V M Words : clean, zen, luck, black, block me, metal, zone, cat, melon, love u, meat, meet u at ten, note, bone, tune, name, bake, cake, Ameba, volcano, Kubo, Kobe,

Tissue box messages : Gym rat, bookworm, unconventional, Leo I SHINE Aug 10 to Sept 16, Taurus I PROTECT May 13 to June 21, Sagittarius I KNOW Dec 17 to Jan 20

Their message :

Dear friend,

I am so glad the universe has sent me to you. I am so proud of you for fighting for your dreams and doing your best every day to be a better person. You have no idea how much this means to me that you are working so hard to walk in my footsteps. My soul is filled with warmth because of you. Thank you so much.❤️ I love you too!

Clarifications - 6 of cups, 6 of swords, King of pentacles, 8 of pentacles, Queen of pentacles, High priestess

This artist is a soulmate of yours. They had to leave for you to thrive. It was part of their journey to pass on to the other side for you to grow and for them to guide you. It was necessary because their departure triggered an awakening in you. Your gifts wouldn’t have woken up the way they are now otherwise. It was their duty to contribute to your accession to your throne. By that I mean that in order to claim your power and rise up to their level, they had to eclipse themselves and now evolve in the « dark » or in other words on the other side of the curtain. You and this artist mirror each other, especially when it comes to your careers. I would even go as far as to say that for some of you they are a divine counterpart. You are the High priestess. And I saw behind her the Magician. They were the spark and you are the torch that will pass on the knowledge. They’ve taught you everything they had to while they were living. Now is your turn to do the same. You can connect with this person through hard work but also by working on your gifts, especially your intuition. When they were living, they were very intuitive too. They were known as a hard worker and a force to be reckoned with. They inspired people to leave behind what didn’t serve them. And they are now trying to help you do the same thing they did : be a mentor and a guide for others, especially younger souls.

[kiyo-cant-write]

leona kingscholar arguing w/ a male s/o ✧･ﾟ

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I felt like we needed something on this blog with Leona <3

If you see typos, pretend they're not there. I'm writing this instead of letting the mental illness get me (because the admin's having depression atm!). How do I feel better? Ruin Leona's life xD

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Summary: [Name] is the s/o of Leona Kingscholar, and what an interesting time that is. Leona is by no means perfect, but he loves [Name], truly. Sometimes, though... The two argue. And it can get heated.

TW/CW: Hurt/No Comfort, Angst

Notes: established relationship, he/him pronouns for the reader, the reader could be cis or trans, the reader is described to be tall/muscular and human with no specified class year, the reader is not explicitly Yuu/Prefect but could be

Guest Stars: Ruggie Bucchi (mentioned, discussed)

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✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:

Leona Kingscholar

Leona is not the ideal lover by any means. He needs time.

He is abrasive, rough, and opinionated. He is so stubborn that he will hold a grudge against his partner in a fight.

With a female/femme enby partner, this might be a bit less harsh, but Leona starts out seeing his male s/o as a rival in addition to a partner, sparking arguments early on.

[Name] has to keep up with Leona's moods and his anger.

Leona can be a very tiring partner to have at times.

However, there are advantages to being another man in Leona's life. Leona will not pull punches around his s/o.

He is direct with him and says what is on his mind, even mean things.

However, this can help as it puts things out in the open.

Leona tends to use his s/o like a body pillow (and feel less bad about it as due to their similar size, he isn't crushing them).

Buuut he also thinks that he can push around his male s/o more.

He tends to be rougher with them in every sense of the word.

He isn't even trying to be violent, Leona just doesn't think to control his strength around another guy, thinking he can handle it.

Leona grumbles constantly that his s/o is annoying but he doesn't mean it. He says a lot of things to his s/o that he doesn't mean.

He is still coping with his traditional upbringing as a royal.

Leona is learning how to treat his boyfriend.

[Name] has not yet met Leona's family because Leona refuses to introduce them to anyone. It was by chance that they met Cheka,

Leona doesn't know how his sister-in-law and Falena would react.

Cheka likes [Name] and considers him "Ojitan #2"!!

Leona says he is annoyed about it, maybe he is, but he's also somewhat warmed by the thought of them being close.

It's a little too mushy for him to accept at this point, though.

He never apologizes for his bitchyness with words.

For Leona, it's an act of service or a gift (albeit given a bit carelessly) that serves to be his apology to [Name].

"Ugh. Leona? Leona," [Name] tried before using more energy to increase his volume, "Le-o-na!"

He was out of breath from checking several of Leona's usual spots and not very happy about the current circumstances. And where was Leona meant to be? Class. Where was he now? Not class.

Leona's eyes opened when [Name] called out to him, looking up to see the human's tall frame towering over him from the angle. His eyes said it all, [Name] was annoyed. Great. Leona was about to get an earful from his boyfriend to top it all off.

"Huh? What do you want now, [Nickname]?"

Leona glared at the younger boy from his place amongst the foliage of the botanical garden. Honestly, he just wanted to sleep. He didn't want to be bothered with classes, [Name] be damned.

"Don't [Nickname] me right now. I was checking on you, "[Name] said, a certain level of irritation seeping through, "You have class this period, right?"

He groaned at the mention of class. It was a chore to go. He would much rather be in the garden or somewhere else, sleeping away from all the noise. But few let him enjoy it between Ruggie, [Name], and one time Jack.

"No, not going. Why don't you get back to your own class, huh?"

Honestly, Leona had a point. Or he would have if it hadn't been a teacher who sent [Name] on a Leona Hunt. Professor Trein was annoyed, and that wasn't good for any student. He had asked [Name] to step out of his class with Professor Crewel to find Leona.

[Name] thought to himself, at that moment, that it was a bit odd the teachers singled him out. Still, it made sense given the lack of a Vice Housewarden for Savanaclaw.

"Leona, you need to focus or you'll repeat another year."

[Name] was sure that Leona didn't want that either. Or did he? It was hard to say. Leona didn't like campus, he said it all the time, but he was also dreading his return to the palace... If he was being truthful, [Name] didn't know what Leona wanted anymore.

It was a bit stressful sometimes, sad at others.

"What are you? Ruggie?" Leona snapped, ears twitching in annoyance as he spoke, "Worry about yourself, [Name]."

Ruggie is a what? How dehumanizing...

But he ignored it. [Name] didn't have the time. Onto the next.

"No, but Ruggie did tell me about the risk of being held back," [Name] admitted awkwardly but with no less frustration than earlier, "Can you just go sleep in class? Your professors are asking me to get you now."

He wasn't even sure what he was arguing anymore. He didn't want to be his boyfriend's parent, but here he was, feeling that way. He knew Leona would just sleep wherever he was, so it wasn't like it was a big ask to send him to a classroom... Was it?

[Name] just wanted Leona to succeed. It was painful to see someone he had grown to love ruining his reputation amongst the faculty and students alike. It wore on [Name]'s mind as it continued.

"You don't get to tell me what to do," Leona said, voice rising slightly, tail flicking in annoyance he now failed to conceal.

"Then who will?" [Name] asked, "Our professors don't even want to deal with you so they sent me to do it!"

When Leona didn't say anything, [Name] took a step closer, testing his limits and ignoring the voice in his head telling him to just back off like he always did and leave it for another day. He didn't want to. he couldn't let Leona do this to himself anymore, not again. Maybe he would listen...

"Leona, I don't know what else to do other than chase after you," [Name] told him, "I want to help, I do... But I can't say anything else. Or do anything either. I'm doing all I can and it's not working."

Leona remained silent.

"What do I do now?" [Name] asked him, voice coming out with just a slight tremble to it as if he was at his breaking point and he was.

"Leave?" Leona said as if it was the obvious answer, "Just go."

"What?" [Name] managed to ask, "What did you... Leona?"

He couldn't believe what he was hearing.

"Leave, [Name]. I told you not to get involved with me," Leona told him in a drawl that dripped with indifference, exasperation even.

"Leona, you can't be serious—"

[Name] didn't get to finish his sentence.

"I am, don't test my patience."

[Name] wasn't sure if he was offended or not.

Leona wasn't listening at all. Did he hear any of this?

"Leona, I'm your partner, can't you listen to what I have to say?"

As Leona ignored him,[Name] felt a bit desperate.

How could he fix this? What would it take?

"I said," Leona's voice cut like a blade, "Leave. Now, [Last Name]."

"I..."

But a moment later, [Name] fell silent, fists clenched at his sides for a moment before the tension released. He exhaled. Like that, it was over.

"Fine. Be that way. I was just... trying to help."

Leona's brows furrowed as he looked away, not wanting to see the other man walk away from him. He shouldn't have said that. He should've kept quiet. Why couldn't he just keep his mouth shut? Now they were going to be all upset at him tomorrow. They'd scold him again, act like his mother, just about.

What happened next was somewhat Leona's own fault in the end. And there he was wallowing in self-pity, refusing to acknowledge the truth of the matter even as he felt the ramifications of his actions.

It was [Name]'s own fault, Leona would remind himself the next day when [Name] didn't meet him for lunch and Ruggie gave him the most bewildered look he had seen on the hyena's face in a while. He should have known not to get involved in Leona's business. Stupid.

It's his fault, Leona would repeat for the next couple of days, refusing to comment when Ruggie asked him again, "Where's [Name]?" Leona didn't care, or he wished he didn't. Those thoughts pounding in his skull didn't mean anything. Not a bit.

He was lying to himself. He missed [Name]. Leona wanted to be able to listen to him talk about things, ask him for little favors, and keep him close. Leona wanted to feel the closeness that they had had...

But he wasn't ready to be wrong.

Would he ever be ready to see past his own ego?

.

Imagine the rest for yourself~

.

.

✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:

Thank you for reading! Likes and reblogs are appreciated! Do NOT repost my writing/headcanons as your own >:c Check the top of my blog for the inbox status and read the rules before requesting. This is not a twst-only blog! ^^

[honeytonedhottie]

reset, refresh, move on⋆.ೃ࿔*:･🛍️

GET UR NAILS DONE ;

sometimes when im feeling a bit stuck or if i feel that my energy seems clogged, getting my nails done makes me feel so put together and it helps my mental state too.

getting my nails done makes me feel super feminine and it makes me feel put together. when i feel put together (even if im not) it acts like a push in the right direction.

CLEANING UR SPACE ;

a clean space = a clear mind. when our surroundings are cluttered, our minds are prone to be cluttered too and it can keep u stuck in a cycle that you feel stuck in.

wash ur sheets + pillow cases

pick up trash from ur room

put things where they belong

so force urself to get up and do some cleaning and i promise that you'll feel so much better afterwards and your mind will be a lot clearer.

RETAIL THERAPY ;

nothing screams "moving on" more then buying something nice for urself and treating urself to something that u want. for me, im a lipgloss junkie so i buy myself a new lipgloss.

HAIR AND BODY CARE ;

take an everything shower. use leave in products and make sure to be super meticulous and treat urself the way that u deserve. taking showers feels like hitting a refresh button so if u feel like ur in a funk, try and take a nice long shower.

JOURNALLING SESSION ;

its important when u feel like u need to refresh to realign urself with ur goals and evaluate where you are now. so some journalling prompts for realignment are...

"have i moved forward, backwards, or stayed the same since my last entry"

"what can i do differently and what should i keep doing"

"have i been working towards my goals and if so how"

"have i been working towards my goals and if not how can i change that"

MAKE A RULE ;

to avoid getting in the habit of rotting away again, make a rule for urself. my rule is that i cannot spend two days in a row rotting. if i spend today rotting, tomorrow i need to get my act together.

make sure to know what works for u before u create and follow thru on a rule. having a rule provides some structure and semblance of "im going to get through this". like a safety net essentially.

everyone has periods in their lives when they feel lethargic or depressed so dont feel bad about urself if ur going thru that right now. it just matters that u get urself out of it when ur ready and u realign with what matters. love - honey

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

the girl next door 16

Warnings: this fic will include elements, some dark, such as age gap, manipulation, chronic illness, noncon/dubcon, coercion, and other untagged triggers. Please take this into account before proceeding. It is up to curate your online consumption safely.

Summary: A new neighbour moves in and upends your already disarrayed life.

Author’s Note: Please feel free to leave some feedback, reblog, and jump into my asks. I’m always happy to discuss with you and riff on idea. As always, you are cherished and adored! Stay safe, be kind, and treat yourself.

This lewk but silverfox

You sit in another hard plastic chair, this time in an office. You can still hear the chaos of the hospital wing out the walls, a constant reminder of why you’re there. You sit with your elbow on the armrest, your chin in your hand as you bite your fingertips.

The nurse, or nurse practitioner, you don’t know the difference, sits across from you, making notes about your last response. Her questions are pointless. She’s asking about your day, well, it’s obvious that’s not going well. And your hobbies. What do those matter? You don’t do anything so you don’t have an answer for that.

She smiles across at you as she clears her throat. The sort of smile dripping in pity. You get it a lot from the old ladies at the grocery store when they see you helping your mother.

“Have you ever had a period where you felt down? Not just for a week or two but, in fact, for many weeks and, perhaps, months?” She asks.

You don’t answer right away. You push your shoulder up and sit back, dropping your hand to your lap. You frown and look at the ceiling.

“Hm, I guess. Sometimes... yeah.”

All the time.

“Along with that, did you find you had no energy, had no interest in things, and overall had great difficulty functioning?”

Functioning? In what way? Going outside? Smiling? Feeling anything but heavy dread? Not crying until your eyes are raw? Having friends?

“Sure, but uh, I take care of my mom. I don’t have time... sometimes...I get tired.”

"Right,” she scribbles noisily with her pen, “Has this ever happened to you before?”

“Has what happened?” You make yourself look at her.

“These bouts of sadness?”

“My mom is sick. It makes me sad.”

“What about today? You said that you... lost track of time.”

“I’m... my mom... I didn’t sleep well... I don’t know.”

She hums and nods. She pauses as she reads over her folder and puts the pen down. She crosses her arms over the desk.

“It’s normal for caretakers to suffer from depression. You’re taking on a lot so there’s no need to be ashamed. You did so well being so honest today. Really. It makes it easier for us to help you,” she smiles again. What about any of this is happy? “I’m going to write you a prescription. Just a few doses for now, okay? To help you through. And we’ll schedule a follow-up with a psychiatrist.”

“A psychiatrist?” You utter, your eyes hot with tear. “I’m not crazy.”

“That’s not... crazy, we don’t speak like that. And you’re not. You’re hurting and you need relief. That’s all,” she explains, “so, the pills I’m going to send you off with. I want you to be very careful, okay? No alcohol. They’re going to make you drowsy so no driving either.”

“But... my mom doesn’t drive. She can’t.”

“It’s just for a few days. You might want to consider looking into some of the local services. You can find a home nurse to come help out if you qualify,” she gets up and goes to a cabinet against the wall, “I have some pamphlets. You can take them with you and I’ll have someone find you with some samples of the pills. That way, you don’t need to pay, alright?”

Your lips trembles and you bite it to keep it still. You nod and stand as you flick the wetness from your eyes, “can I go?”

“Sure, I’m sure your mom will be ready to see you soon,” she approaches you with a handful of glossy leaflets. “I’ll walk you out.”

You take the pamphlets and she follows you to the door. You step into the hall as she stays close, “Mr. Rogers,” she calls over your shoulder as Steve sits in the hall waiting, “she’s all good. Got her sorted.”

“Great, uh, well, good news,” he stands, rubbing his lowers back, “your mom’s awake.” He announces, “can finally get off this stiff chair.”

“See, that’s wonderful,” the nurse nudges your arm, “I’ll have the medications brought to her room. Have a good day, hon.”

You clutch the pamphlets and stare at Steve’s chest. He points you down the hall and walks beside you.

“Everything go okay? What was that she said about medication?”

“Pills.”

“Pills? For what?” He prompts as he leads you along the hallway.

“Depression.”

“Oh.”

You look down, “guess I might be. I don’t know.”

“You work really hard, sweetie. You’re not invincible,” he comforts and rubs your back. You wince at his unexpected touch, “all this stress...” he trails off and reaches for the pamphlets in your hands. You let him take one, “what’s this?”

He reads as he walks, unbothered by the nurses rushing by and the cleaners in their grey scrubs.

“Home nurse? Hm, that might be a good option,” he clucks, “or maybe... I wouldn’t mind helping out, you know? I know it’s early days but I think we’ve gotten really close.” He folds up the paper and hands it back, “me and your mom... us too, I think.”

You shrug and drag your soles on the floor. He reads the door number as you reach your mom’s room and he waves you in ahead of him. You keep your head down as you go past the curtain as he directs you from behind. You stand at the foot of the bed, too afraid to look up.

“I’m starving,” your mother snarls. She sounds like herself, just tired.

You peek up and your eyes round. She scowls at you as she lays tangled in tubes. You quiver in relief. She’s alive and she seems mostly okay.

“What’re you staring at?” She sneers, “I know I look like death. I feel like it too.”

“Holly,” Steve steps forward, “thank god.” He comes to her side, “we were so worried.”

“Heh,” she snorts.

“Really, when I found you...” he tries to block you out as he lowers his voice, “you never told me you weren’t supposed to drink.”

“Never bothered me much before,” she dismisses, “figured it was just a precaution.”

“Excuse me,” a voice comes from the doorway and you look over at a young man in blue scrubs. He says your name, “I have some samples for you.”

You turn and wave meekly, confirming your identity. He enters and hands you several boxes secured together with a thick elastic.

“Directives on the side,” he points to the folded paper also looped under the rubber band.

“Thanks,” you say and he leaves you just as quickly.

Your turn back to your mom as her eyes center on you. She looks horrible. Sickly. Worse than you’ve ever seen her.

“What’s all that then?” She scoffs.

You try to hide the boxes under your arm and shake your head.

“Typical. She’s gotta get her share of attention.”

“Holly,” Steve girds, disappointment harshening his tone, “she was sick with worry over you. The nurse gave her those to calm down.” He grips the bedrail until his knuckles pale, “she has depression, you know? All the stress--”

“Stress?” Your mom rolls her eyes, “I didn’t realise she was the sick one. She’s not depressed, she’s lazy.”

Silence. Stifling, suffocating silence. You lower your chin, “it’s... I probably won’t take any of it. I was just... in shock. I’m sure I’m fine.”

“But the nurse said--” Steve begins, “you’re going to at least try it. You never know, it could help. And if it doesn’t, it doesn’t.”

“Oh, don’t baby her. She’s grown,” your mom’s too out of it to filter her spite. You see the disgust in Steve’s expression as he looks at her.

“Holly, please, she’s your daughter.”

“I know who she is,” she snarls, “why are you taking her side anyway? She doesn’t need pills. It’s just another excuse.”

He closes his eyes and takes a breath, “I’m gonna chalk this up to whatever they’re pumping you full of. Holly, you’re not thinking straight. I know you would say all that to her.”

“Stop defending her. She’s not as innocent as she pretends.”

He shakes his head and glances over at you, “look, you just woke up, you’re out of it. I get it. Let’s just all calm down.”

“She’s a sniveling little brat,” she barks as she leans back. “This is all her fault. She knew I wasn’t supposed to drink. She didn’t stop me.”

Steve blanches and his eyes cling to you. You see the chagrin lined in his forehead. You look away in shame. You never wanted a witness to your mother’s wrath. That’s worse than facing her alone. It’s humiliating.

[dopaminetreasurehoard]

Love Crowley's husband energy in this scene and I have to talk about this little moment.

I know people like the idea of a jealous or possessive partner, and label this moment as such. And I love the humor of that idea here.

But to be fair, I actually think Crowley isn't being jealous in this moment. For all that he can get worked up, he is cool as a cucumber in the face of very stressful situations. (Ex. Furfur threatening Crowley after the magic act before he knew that Aziraphale would trick Furfur into using the wrong "evidence", just dismissing the guy out of hand like he's nothing.)

According to Brené Brown, jealousy happens when we're afraid of something important being taken from us, when we're afraid that our connection with someone will be lost in favor of someone else.

It seems out of character for Crowley to feel threatened by a random mortal approaching Aziraphale. His reaction to the man sitting there in the pub would instead seem to be annoyance. He's trying to have "us time" with his angel and here comes this dude, delaying the conversation they're there to have.

His "hello" is just so "where did you come from and how do we get you to leave?"

He even used that line "You astonish me" in that posh voice he gets when he's disinterested or trying to put someone off. Which I love, btw.

I can just picture him in the regency period, posing as upper class a la Byron, using that tone to depress the pretensions of toadeaters.

Anyone who prefers to interpret it as adorably, harmlessly jealous, I'm not trying to yuck your yum. Just making my own observations because I was trying to figure out why it didn't feel like jealousy to me.

As for possessiveness, which is based on a lack of trust in your partner and a need for control over them disguised as love, that doesn't feel like Crowley either.