#a bit of his feelings!!
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Last of her kind Emperor!Alpha!Zhongli + Omega!Dragoness!Reader
cw/tags: Your usual mentions of slavery and sexual themes, A/B/O dynamics and heat mentions. Also allusions to depression and mentions of death.
notes: Aahahaha this took forever..... allow me top explain: first of all my new job is killing me and second of all I'm going through a hard period where I don't really like anything I write anymore. This work in particularly I kept struggling with the pacing, the dialogues, the way I wanted feelings to come across or scenes to flow it's just hhhnnnggg. I told a couple of friends that I set the bar so high with the first part I feel like nothing else I write will be that good. Then the second part was "ok" but cut off in a cliffhanger and has been there for SO LONG that now I feel this will be underwhelming after all the buildup//hit
I hope it's not. I hope it's good.
Anyway this part is in Zhongli's pov and contains flashbacks which will be fully in italics! Enjoy! and thanks for caring so much about this story ;w; ILU all <3
<- Part 2.
Your instincts mess up with your head.
Your crying and anxiety have simmered to a cold numbness.
Hours blur together, time loses meaning.
The doctor comes by sometimes. The maids bring you food. But everything feels⊠off, distant.
This doesnât feel⊠like your usual heats.
You curl up and sob, a choked soft noise.
You donât feel hot, but rather cold. Limbs weak. Dizzy.
Your heart aches.
Youâre so tired.
And so sleepyâŠ
Zhongli puts down the seal stamp and deflates back into his chair with a sigh, he must have read the same line at least five times already. He cannot concentrate at all. Itâs not even been three days and each hour, each minute, feels eternal.
Heâs already gotten so used to your presence, so smitten with you and your little quirks, your rare smiles, the way your ears and tail flicker, your pretty eyesâŠ
And he remembers those same eyes begging for him, teary. Your pitiful cry. Your distressed scent.
Guilt eats at him. As well as something elseâŠ
Heâs been restless, barely slept. Your scent is a sirenâs song on the blankets, tart and fresh and tantalizing, but you are not with him. Anxious energy flows in his veins. This emotion, this thing that is like regret and sorrow and fear all tangled together, cleaves him through. His instincts are screaming at him, rattling inside a cage of his own making. His mate, his precious Omega is in heat, youâre scared and lonely and need him. Zhongli has to suppress a growl and feel the shudder of his scales at the fact that heâs not with you. In your nest. Taking care of you.
Itâs agonizing.
"How is she?"
The same question, over and over, at any chance he gets.
"She refuses to eat, your majesty." Xiao tells him, and he can feel the concern in the younger Alphaâs voice. âAccording to the maids she only took a few bites of the ajilenak nuts, the rest of the food was left untouched.â
âŠ
"She's um... she's always sleeping when I go check up on her." Ganyu explains a little crestfallen. She too is worried. âA-at least I think sheâs in no pain⊠she was clinging to one of your hanfus.â
âŠ
"You should go see her, Zhongli." Ping states, a rare serious expression on her usual gentle factions. âBaizhu says sheâs going through the worst case of separation sickness heâs ever seen. Is that really what you want your poor Yin to go through?â
He lets out a frustrated rumble.
âOf course not. But itâs for the best, I donât want to⊠take advantage of her, or force her to anything.â Zhongli frowns, trying to focus on the papers in front of him again, in an attempt to ignore her piercing gaze.
âIs it really any of that if she wants her mate?â Ping retorts. âShe was begging you.â
I know.
He growls this time, and shakes his head at his memory of you. It haunts him.
âShe doesnât know what she wants.â
âSo, youâre deciding for her then? Is that it? Honestly, are you listening to yourse-â
âSheâs been conditioned to serve.â He cuts her off, voice grave and somber. âTrained to be submissive and please. She likes me simply because Iâm kind to her, she wants me because she thinks itâs her obligation as my mate. I feel the pull of the bond too, the need, the yearning. But I also know she is afraid of Alphas and she thinks⊠she thinks she has to obey me. That she owes me something or that own her.â His eyes narrow. âI didnât need to bond her. I shouldnât have bonded her. I just⊠wanted her to be free and instead I chained her to me. And now sheâs in heatâŠâ
And it drives him insane.
âListen to me, weâve both spent time with her, enough to know sheâs opening up and learning to voice her feelingsâŠâ Ping reasons gently. âItâs a slow process, donât hurt her this way. At the very least⊠go see her.â
âI lost control once with just one kiss from her. I will not do it again. I will not harm her any further.â
The elderly woman keeps silent for a few moments. Zhongli sighs and rests his forehead in his palm in defeat.
And then Ganyu approaches, a little tense, a stack of papers in her hands.
âYour majesty, the Qixing are starting to arrive, council meeting will begin soon.â
âVery well. Thank you Ganyu.â He stands up and nods at her, then turns to Ping and his demeanor softens a little. âYou know I just want to correct my mistakes, and give her the life she deserves. At least a fraction of it, of happiness.â
It wasnât supposed to go this way⊠Zhongli sighed as he walked up to the room where the âreunionâ with the sumerian would take place. It was long overdue seeing as he had spent the night by your side, refusing to leave after you had cried and begged so desperatelyâŠ
After he had bonded you.
He had initially taken the eremiteâs claims with a grain of salt, but naturally he had to make sure. The last dragonblood had supposedly died decades ago, so howâŠ?
And yet when he saw you for the first time in that room, he knew.
You were real, you were beautiful. Suddenly he felt a million things at once: He wanted to get to know you, stay close to you, protect you. Old draconic instinct vibrating excitedly on his soul. You smelled vaguely familiar, your tail was gorgeous, your ears adorable. What if you didnât like him though? What if he harmed you? Scared you? Suddenly he was nervous, nervous of ruining this, nervous in a way he hadnât been in so long, like when heâd been young and Liyue had been at war and he had lost everything to fire and smoke and dust and he had to make difficult decisions and-
He had always calculated his moves. No room for risks. Too much at stake.
But you, you disarmed him. Completely.
You, with your polite gentleness despite the obvious cracks beneath the surface.
You, with your beautiful looks and enormous potential, even if you didnât see it yourself.
You, with that look of yearning and hope, with your soft lips and sweet moans, with your warm body fitting perfectly against his.
For once, he allowed himself to make a decision with his heart, not logic, not politics. Just instincts.
And he claimed youâŠ
âŠ
He enters the room. A couple Millelith soldiers stationed by the door, Xiao standing by his side loyally as he sits at his place of honor as the emperor. Your âmasterâ, an Alpha eremite named Zaheer, kneels respectfully a little below.
âI see you liked her, your majestyâ He offers a sly smirk. âDid she satisfy you properly? Sheâs been trained on her gag reflexes to-â
Zhongli -Morax- resists the urge to growl. âWe are not here to discuss that.â
âAh, of course, business!â
Business.
âSince sheâs such an exotic and well-trained slave I suppose we could agree onâŠâ
âDo you think of me an idiot, Zaheer?â Moraxâs eyes narrow.
âP-Pardon me?â
âShe is a pureblood xiÄnshĂČu. I want to know exactly how she ended up being enslaved by you and your people.â
Cold and calculating golden eyes stare down at the eremite.
âW-What⊠sheâs desert-born!â Zaheer retorts back angrily âShe was born at a heat house. Maybe she has traits from your people because one of them decided to get a cheap fuck while traveling.â
âYou expect me to believe that?â Morax asks unfazed âLiyue has records of the last of her kind disappearing and presumably being murdered when a village near Sumeru borders was razed to the ground. Do you have a disclosure?â
Zaheer stands up and growls, clearly an Alpha not used to having to bow his head and accept things not going his way.
Clearly an Alpha used to intimidating and attacking others.
Xiao wields his spear and changes his stance to an offensive one. The Millelith guards also tense.
Zaheer gets even more irritated, feeling like a caged animal. Backed into a corner. âEmperor or notâ He starts through gritted teeth. âIf youâre not going to pay me then Iâll take my merchandise back and do business elsewhere where Iâm not being accused of ridiculous claims.â
âYouâre right that I wonât be doing any business with you, but weâll see how ridiculous those claims truly are. Zaheer, by my word as the emperor you will now remain detained in Liyue.â Morax sentences.
The eremiteâs red eyes widen in shock and rage and the desert-dweller shoots up to attack Morax, getting easily overpowered and neutralized by Xiaoâs quick moves. In seconds his weapon drops to the floor as the Yaksha general points his spear at the unconscious man. The Millelith quickly retrieve him and the blade before Morax simply nods at them.
Months. It had been months since then and he had to begrudgingly release the man as no accusation connected him to anything. They were essentially out of leads. There did appear to be documentation of your birth at a desert village but Zhongli would be hard pressed to believe the half-assed story youâve been toldâŠ
And since you are pureblood, then both of your parents, and most importantly your dam, was also a dragonblood. Thatâs at the very least one Liyue citizen enslaved in a foreign nation.
He would get to the bottom of this.
For now, however, he had to cast those worries aside.
The Seven members of the council sit around the large table, the Liyue Qixing, leaders of all the commerce and trade sectors of the nation.
Zhongli takes his place at the head of the table. Ganyu does so as well by the sideline.
âVery well, whatâs our first topic today?â
âDid Master just⊠leave?â
There was silence at the table, Zhongli and Ping sit frozen and you get just a bit nervous.
Itâd been a few days since you started your new life, and though Zhongli was sure you were warming up to it he knew you still had a long way to go. It was probably still a little surreal for you⊠such a big change from everything you knew.
The tension on his shoulders quickly drops again. He continues eating. âYes.â He says simply. Ping follows his lead, saying nothing.
The faster you forget about that eremite, the better.
âHmâŠâ You continue eating as well. Your expression is a little conflictedâŠ
You inhale.
âWas he⊠happy⊠that I finally found a mate?â
Zhongli turns to you sharply and tenses again like a cat bristling. He holds back his tongue so as to not say something heâd regret. Why do you still care about that despicable manâs opinion? Why do you still seek his approval? Did you really think he cared about you? Zhongli desperately wants to make you understand how that slave-owner only saw you as an object, how he fed you lies, how his mistreatment is inexcusableâŠ
But he can only imagine how deep your scars run, and how that toxic mindset has settled and accompanied you for years. He cannot judge you for caring about someone who doesnât deserve it.
âWhy do you ask, dear?â Ping asks instead.
âI donât knowâŠâ You mumble, poking at the congee with your spoon. âI always wanted to make him proud.â
Proud.
Him?
âI think what matters most is how you feel.â Zhongli says, his hand reaching out for yours invitingly and you place your fingers on his palm, getting a soft reassuring squeeze. âYou donât need to rely on how others view you or think about you.â
You seem thoughtful for a second, your ears flickering back insecure but then standing up alert again. âI am happyâ You admit. âVery happy. I have the best mate in the world.â You smile brightly.
Zhongliâs heart does a flip.
âWith the excessive rains in the northern villages, there have been many floods and a lot of crops have been severely damaged or lost. Our previous contingency plan is in action already and donations are being sent to help the affected families. However, we must prepare for a decline in the harvest of certain grains and vegetables this season, as well as an increase in prices for a few months due to the shift in demand and supply.â Keqing explains expertly, the young alphaâs expression is serious and solemn.
âItâs an opportunity to strengthen commerce with Mondstadt and Sumeru.â Ningguang chimes in, leaning back on her chair, arms crossed. âThe value of jade and other crystals is on the rise as well.â
âNot to mention, weâll be employing several architects from the Akademiya to help with the rebuilding.â Keqing adds, turning to Ganyu, who nods.
âGreater lord Rukkhadevata and lesser Lord Kusanali have agreed on a certain exchange program with Liyue. I started drafting up some proposals already if youâd like to see.â The blue-haired secretary passes along some documents.
Ningguangâs eyes skim along the page. âItâs almost like our new Sumeru-born empress was a sign.â She smirks. âBy the way, where is she?â She turns to Zhongli, curious about her fellow Omega.
âSheâs rather indisposed at the moment.â The emperor replies dryly, not wanting to delve much onto the touchy subject. âGanyu this looks good, however we need to think about-â
There is a knock that quickly surprises everyone. Who could interrupt a council meeting and why?
Baizhu peeks in with Changsheng curled around his neck, a frown on his usually gentle features. âYour majesty, a word. Itâs an emergency.â
All the members at the table stare silently as Zhongli stands and follows the doctor.
Ganyu has a bad feelingâŠ
âWe have no time, follow me.â The green-haired doctor walks briskly along the wooden corridors, he looks⊠frustrated, dejected.
âWhatâs wrong?â
He doesnât want to panic. He never panics. But something inside him does. Itâs obvious that this has to do with you.Â
âI apologize, your majesty. I thought it was just a case of separation sickness but⊠the empress is showing signs of widowâs wasting.â
Zhongli stops.
His heart skips a beat. His skin prickles with dread.
âSheâs⊠dying?â
Baizhu shakes his head. âIt hasnât reached that point yet, but⊠sheâs deteriorating.â
The guilt is back. The fear.
âGiven what happened, Iâm pretty certain the shock of your rejection was the trigger. Still, it is highly unusual for a Yin to suffer from widowâs wasting without their partner actually dying, even more so for it to settle so quickly. Her reaction is akin to someone who had never left their mateâs side for years.â Baizhu explains.
You trusted him.
And he turned his back on you.
What have I done?
âIn any casssse, itâssss not too late.â Changshengâs little voice pipes in. Baizhu keeps leading the way and Zhongli follows, though he obviously knows the entire palace like the palm of his hand, at the moment his thoughts are scattered and far far away.
âShe needs her mateâs reassurance. I have done what I can with medicine but this is a bonded pair matter.â Finally, he stops at a juncture and turns to Zhongli. âPlease, your majesty, only you can save her. I will tell Ganyu, Xiao and Ping of the situation, and if you need anything, just ask.â
Zhongli nods, mute.
The snake narrows her eyes. âDonât leave her sssside.â
âChangsheng.â Baizhu shushes.
She is right to chastise him. He deserves that and more.
âI wonât.â Zhongli nods and heads down the hall.
Widowâs wasting.
The words echo in his head. Heâs seen the damage it can do. How a broken bond, the loss of the most important person, can destroy someone inside. Did you really care that much about him? Did he really hurt you that badly?
âPleaseâŠâ
He didnât mean to.
âI have the best mate in the world.â
He feels like a monster.
âI want to stay with you. Sleep together. Like mates.â
He needs to see you. He needs to make sure youâre okâŠ
He stands in front of the nest room. The same one where he first met you.
Opening the doors only slightly to slip inside, Zhongli's eyes widen and a hand flies to cover his nose and mouth when a strong smell shakes him to his very core.
The room he expected to be completely saturated with intense heat pheromones⊠instead bears the acrid scent of despair.
This isnât the lustful call to breed and have children that made an omega vulnerable and pliant. No. It is a desperate cry from a heartbroken omega for their mate to come back, to stay with them, to love and protect them. It is grief.
You are suffering because of him.
To think all this time⊠he was afraid he'd make you uncomfortable. That heâd scare you, hurt you, ruin the bond youâve carefully built. Instead, he is overcome by an all-consuming terror. Every part of him screaming at his mate's weak essence.
And there you are, his precious treasure, his sweet dragoness.
You lay curling in on yourself letting out small muffled sobs.
âY/nâŠâÂ
No reaction.
âDarling, my dear dragonessâŠâ He rushes up to you immediately, grabs your hand and pets your hair. You look so weak, your skin is feverish, how has it only been three days? It feels like a lifetimeâŠ
You shift a little and your eyes blink open, staring at him dazed, red and puffy and your expression defeated. You let out a pitiful whine and more of that bitter sad scent is released.Â
âNo my dear, donât cry, Iâm here. Iâm sorry, Iâm so sorry.â Zhongli coos as he curls up to you, frantically starting to scent and nip at your neck and shoulders affectionately. His horns manifest and his tail follows through, lashing about a little restless. The bond⊠feels wrong, broken. He should be able to intimately feel you this close and yetâŠ
He tries to reposition you a little so you can lie on top of him, rest on his chest. Itâs concerning how easily he can do so, youâre like a ragdoll in his arms, unresponsive and unmoving. His hands cup your face, thumbs rubbing at the traces of tears in your cheeks. You let out a frustrated whimper. âShhhh shh itâs okay. Iâm so sorry.â
Even if he says it a million times, it wonât feel enough.
Zhongli nuzzles at your neck and proceeds to do something he hasnât done since he was practically a teen. He purrs. Itâs a little rusty, comes off more as a grumbling but it seems to work as he feels you relax just slightly in his arms.
âIâm right hereâ Zhongliâs deep voice assures you, tugging you closer, mouthing at the soft skin along your collarbone. âIâm not going anywhere and Iâm all yours, I promise, I promise. I wonât leave you alone, not ever.â He soothes.
He lowers a bit of your clothes at the shoulder and grazes his fangs along your faded mark, you tense and let out a long shaky breath.
âEverything will be ok.â He kisses the spot. âIâm sorry.â
And then he sinks his fangs in to reestablish the claim.
You cry out in pain and squirm, clawing at his clothes, but he holds you, his hand rubbing circles at your back, his tail intertwining with yours.
...
.....
...
At first nothing changes, but after a few moments⊠a low strained purr bubbles up from within you again.
#genshin x you#genshin x reader#zhongli x reader#zhongli x you#genshin impact x you#genchin impact x reader#genshin imagines#genshin impact imagines#crys writes#fem reader#LohK#minors dni#just in case#me: it gets worse#also me: //reader is dying and it's zhongli's fault woops#we have his pov now about the first meeting#a bit of his feelings!!#see I really hope I did a decent job showing his thoughts/side bc I don't want him to come off as âsuddenly Zl is being stubborn/a jerkâ fo#he has valid concerns about the relationship and yes he had good intentions#shoutout to Baizhu best doctor and changsheng for having zero chill#Ping voice of reason#despair and grief are such hardcore words I love how hard they go here
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mentor
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#gojo satoru#megumi fushiguro#jjk art#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#jjk leaks#pulled another allnighter fr Angst's sake cries i havent slept.......but i couldnt help myself i was out all DAY i hadnt drawn all DAY#do u know what that does to a mf i felt all antsy and Wrong#so i cracked an energy drink i think i may have a problem honestly but hey at least u get ur daily dose of megumi angst#remember how i said i considered including gojo in the yuuji/tsumiki/megu squared train piece#well this is me making up fr Not including him there#i ws right his and megumi's relationship deserves its own homage smile :)#anyway @ anon who wanted a gojo/megumi hug.....ik it's not exactly a hug but you can forgive me im sure <3#dare i say it's better than hugs jeremy.....#honestly fr all my gripes w gojo i Did get kind of emo abt this?? but i feel like. the majority of my emotions r on megumi's behalf#also might have been the mukashi mukashi no kyou no boku on repeat that'll also do it#seriously debated putting translated lyrics as the caption but it feels like a copout doing 2 lyric-captions in a row#also i do have some shame. miku lyrics r a bit.#anyway art notes uhhhhh finally got gojo's hair to not look Yuuji#who knew the trick was to make it longer smh maybe sleep deprivation n 10 hours of staring at a screen Does make simple problems hard#oh file name 'proud of you' btw
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⊠Freshly ordained âŠ
#a packless dog will happily accept his collar or something like that#own art#own characters#CanisAlbus#art#artists on tumblr#Machete#anthro#sighthound#dogs#canine#animals#maybe you might benefit from a little bit of context in this case#Machete becomes a priest at around 20 or so#he has trained all his life for this goal#he has worked himself to the bone and sacrificed so much#because he believes it would make him respectable and worthy and give his life a purpose and meaning#he gets his very first cassock from the tailor's and it immediately fits like a second skin#for the first time ever he feels like something he wears actually makes him look kind of nice#the hard part is over it'll be smooth sailing from here on out#there's a period in Vasco's and Machete's lives where they were apart for almost a decad#they met in their late teens when they were both studying in the same university in Venice#became friends and then lovers#but had to separate when Machete graduated and Vasco dropped out#Machete was ordained as intended and Vasco followed his father into politics#they meet again unexpectedly in their early 30's thanks to their similar jobs#Machete had became a cardinal secretary of state and Vasco was a Florentine diplomat#this takes place shortly after he had lost contact with Vasco and before he reconnects with him again
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main take aways from Halloween (1978) rewatch:
michael myers is canonically 21??? this bitch should be at the club
*sees tiddies* ***MURDEROUS RAMPAGE NOISES***
that's it that's the movie
outside of the fact that everyone who has sex is murdered by the narrative, this is a surprisingly chill portrayal of female sexuality? these teen girls are horny and actively enjoying Getting It On with their boytoys. no pushy boyfriends sneaking in through their bedroom windows--these ladies are taking the initiative to sneak out and GET SOME. one of them gets laid and then immediately orders her boyfriend to get her a beer. (yes she gets Slashered soon afterward, but so does the boyfriend so honestly, gender equality.) yes the Final Girl is the only one not having sex, but she's not bullied for that, nor are her friends slut shamed except possibly by being murdered by the narrative
actually the only character who is shown being morally condemned on-screen is michael myers. specifically FOR his violent overreaction to other people's sex lives. (people he is spying on). metaphorically, the villain is American Puritanism sticking its judgy nose into other people's business.
aka Michael Myers Is A Republican
but actually the real villain is the doctor. guy's a judgemental, shaming, pathologizing asshole. and he's been in charge of michael's care since he was SIX YEARS OLD? kid never had a chance. i'd go on a killing spree too
also the parents. where are the parents? it's halloween night and all the teenage girls are home babysitting their younger siblings? come to think of it, michael's first victim was his own older sister, whom he killed while she was babysitting him. teen girls are really shouldering a labour burden here. maybe parentification is the true villain
side note: mike commits his first murder wearing a clown costume...which is never referenced again? his 'iconic' costume is a generic mask and wig and jumpsuit, when we coulda had a Killer Clown Michael Myers??? travesty
i like how the Final Girl and her friend casually smoke weed in her car. yeah she's an honor student and her friend is the sheriff's daughter. yeah they smoke weed. so what it's 1978
(to reiterate, mike is 21 and should be at the club. im not saying he shouldn't be rampaging, im saying it's sad that he broke out, tasted freedom for the first time in his life, and immediately snuck back into his childhood home to go rampaging. let's have a remake where he goes to a nightclub and has a few beers. maybe some slutty dancing. then rampage)
oh no he's hot
#HALLOWEEN#halloween the movie#michael myers#do you think he's a mike? mikey? to his friends? if slashers had friends?#i'll be honest i was expecting this movie to be way more of a bitch to its female characters#i mean yeah they died but so did some dudes#there's just a lack of cattiness compared to the way most later movies portrayed teenage girls idk#yeah the Final Girl is a Virgin and a Bookworm. but there's no bullying or any strong sense that's she's morally superior to everyone else#mostly she AND the other girls feel a bit sorry for her lack of a social life. one even tries to set her up with a date to the school dance#solidarity! trying to get your nerd friend laid!#overall it's just teenagers being teenagers and then a slasher comes in and ruins everything with his Lack Of Chill#like yeah dude sometimes teenagers have sex. get over it#also something to be said about how while the girl who survives is the one who isn't sexually active and dresses conservatively...#ultimately those things aren't ENOUGH to prevent her from being targeted#you could say that the other girls 'provoked' the villain (the same way women irl are so often accused of provoking their attackers)#but ultimately that doesn't keep the Final Girl safe. it just delays the inevitable.#because violent men never need excuses. no matter how eager society is to provide them.#ultimately she is at the mercy of the same violent whims because it was never her behavior that invited the violence.#gendered violence doesn't need an invitation.#also she doesn't save herself the doctor saves her#it's not her actions or choices that put her in danger OR save her from it--once again it is the whim of a man#no this wasn't intended to be a feminist movie it's just fun how you could argue it that way
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"mithrun is the only real monsterfucker in dungeon meshi" is objectively the funniest bit you can get out of his everything, but in all seriousness i think his attraction to his love interest is deliberately overstatedâand that makes sense, because romantic jealousy is a classic and digestible motive, which is explicitly what kabru was aiming for in condensing mithrun's backstory, and also because until chapter 94, mithrun wasn't willing to admit to the true nature of his desires.
but because romantic envy is both classic and digestible, it probably isnât a unique enough or complicated enough desire to tempt a demonâs appetite. mithrunâs wish, as far as we can figure from kabruâs reduced retelling, was to have a life in which he had never become one of the canaries, and that carries like 3857 implications and desires within it. thatâs delicious. his love interest acts as sort of a red herring to his motivation for making it, though. (side note: i'm saying "love interest" here because, keeping in mind that i barely speak japanese on a good day anymore, "æłăäșș" is something i'd usually take as just kind of an old-fashioned and romantic way to refer to a lover, but in context i wonder if both the connotation of yearning and the vagueness are intentional, and i think this phrasing gets those aspects of it more effectively. anyway.)
mithrun considered his love interest to be untrustworthy. there was a minute where i thought that comment might be about a similar-looking elf (yugin, one of his squad members), but comparing the twoâŠ
the "sketchy" arrow is definitely referring to the elf we know as his love interestâthe bangs go toward her right, she only has the one forehead ornament, and, most notably, her ears aren't notched.
every time sheâs given a full-body depiction in his dungeon, sheâs drawn as a chimera, with the body of a snake from the waist down. (side note: the âwhat if a dungeon has chimeras before reaching level 4?â/âthen the dungeon lord is unstableâ exchange just being mithrun grilling his past self alive is so funny. heâs so. but anyway) there are a couple things about this.
first, the snake part of the chimera appears to be modeled after some species of coral snake mimic
which, in the biology-for-fun manga, i⊠doubt is a coincidence, especially with the added context of the âuntrustworthyâ comment. the dungeonâs conjured illusion of mithrunâs love interest was a harmless copycat of a venomous original. for whatever reason, he felt this person was a threat and made up a "safe" version of her to be in a relationship with, and while itâs definitely possible to be attracted to or even love someone you find to be toxic and/or intimidating, when you take that into consideration alongside the configuration of her body, you get some interesting implications.
which brings us to our second point: if we assume that mithrun was not in fact fucking a snake, then sexual attraction, at least, was so far removed from his idea of a relationship with this person that he did not even bother to keep her dungeon copy human enough to maintain the illusion of the option of a sexual relationship. this is somewhat echoed in the depictions of their interactions, which also imply a frankly unexpected romantic distance. she kisses his cheek and he doesn't seem to react; she's at the edge of a narrow bed with only one set of pillows, on top of his blankets while he's underneath them.
the kiss is particularly interesting because it seems to contrast the text. kabru's narration tells us this was everything mithrun could have asked for, but mithrun is there looking unreadable to pensive, likely because this is right before the panel that makes it clear things in the dungeon are beginning to go wrong.
walking through this backwards for a minute, we have the physical barrier of his bedding and the spatial separation inherent in a bed made for one person, the emotional barrier of his mounting anxiety getting in the way of his ability to enjoy the affection he sought, and... the snake, which historically carries the connotation of temptation, yes, but also mistrust, barring physical intimacy. okay. ok. if a dungeon reflects the mentality of its lord, all of this might suggest that mithrun was not able to have any real desire for a relationship with this person. his unwillingness to be vulnerable or let another person in was insurmountable. but in that case, why was she such a focal point that she remained to the end, after his dungeon had stopped creating iterations of his friends to come and visit him? why would he get so upset over her meeting with his brother that he became lord of a dungeon about it?
well. mithrun's brother was also interested in her, probably genuinely. and mithrun had to win.
you have an older brother who your parents completely ignore, probably in part because he is chronically ill/disabled and almost definitely in part because he received a ton of recessive traits that resulted in rumors that he was an illegitimate child. you are aware, most likely because those same parents fucking told you, that you actually are an illegitimate child. but they keep you around because you had the good fortune of looking just like your mother. what can that possibly teach you but that you, like your brother, are disposable?
it's utterly unsurprising that mithrun, under these circumstances, developed a pathological need to be better than everyone around him. people don't keep you otherwise. i'd argue this is also why he says he looked down on everyone he knew while milsiril claims his dungeon reeked of feelings of inferiorityâhe sought out people's worst traits and prioritized them in his mind to protect his already extremely fragile sense of self-worth, and all the while he tried to be as likable and high-performing as he possibly could be. his parents disposed of him anyway, but even then he tried to keep up the performance. he was kind to everyone. he never once lost to a dungeon.
when he saw his "love interest" meeting up with his brother, what he saw was himself being replaced by a person his parents had always treated as worthless, and if that was what they thought of the child they'd kept, what value could anyone possibly see in the bastard they'd given away to die? mithrun and kabru tell the story like he wanted to win this unnamed elf's heart, but it was never about being with her. it was about cementing his worth, proving that he didn't deserve to be thrown away.
and so it's particularly cruel that his demon discarded him, too. but maybe it's also particularly gentle that, in the end, there was someone who refused to even consider giving up on him.
kui laid it out in three panels better than i could hope to.
yeah. it's love. you wanted to be loved, even when the only way you were able to understand it was through the desire to be wanted, and you wanted that so badly that the idea of being consumed felt like the promise of finally mattering to someone.
#dungeon meshi spoilers#mithrun#dungeon meshi#this has been rotating for a while but i wanted to check my evidence before getting into it thanks user angelspenance for posting that meme#half of this is just the text and the other half i'm sure has been said before but it's making my brain [radio static] so here this is#someone did for sure mention this but i do find it very cute that in his fucked up conjured world meant to portray his ideal reality#his teammates came to visit him. like part of the fantasy was then explicitly that they cared about him and were his friends. even though#he says he tried to see the worst in them.#hm it does feel important to note that i do also believe 100% in mithrun suicidality--his desire to be eaten does seem to focus a lot on#wanting it to be Over. wanting not to be left incomplete and empty anymore.#but that loops back around a bit to the hole in your heart that appears when you feel unloved. it's many things and the same thing at once#snakes#long post#severe problems#meshy
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wild life pearl i support you
#i might change the cloak. idk how i feel about it yet#but i really like the half of her hair burnt / cut out bit yeahhh#pearlescentmoon#also hi impulse ill get better at drawing you one day#impulsesv#wild life smp#my art#eydidraws#life series#trafficblr#mcyt
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Mostly spoiler free summary of my viewing experience
#The boy and the heron#how do you live#studio ghibli#ghibli#in all honesty that movie was legitimately so fantastic and im like changed as a person#Story wise as well! It hits really hard if you know a bit about miyazaki and his legacy. Its a very personal movie i think#And you can feel it in every aspect#The eng dub voice actors were really good as well and the animation was beautiful as always#Also really loved the tone!!! The story really relied a bit on the use of negative space in both sound and pacing and i enjoyed that alot#in conclusion go read a article about miyazaki and his son and then go watch the movie itâs probably going to be one of my favorites#image id in alt
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Soup solves everything.
#dungeon meshi#dungeon meshi spoilers#Senshi#izutsumi#chilchuck tims#laios touden#marcille donato#THE SOUP CHAPTER HAS BEEN ANIMATED#I have so many thoughts about senshi's backstory and how much that experience has shaped who he is.#This is such a powerful moment because it makes it clear how *stuck* senshi has been because of his trauma.#Up until now he has been a mystery! He's the chef guy! Don't worry about his apparent reclusiveness from society!#Don't worry about his intense need to make sure 'the young ones are fed'!#Senshi still has a lot of healing but this was the moment he could finally forgive himself.#This chapter is so important to me because sometimes you truly do need to face the most terrifying things to move past them.#This joke here is a bit too narrow to be funny for the masses...but mdzs fans know.#MDZS :handshake: Dungeon Meshi: Soup moment.#Laios and Jiang Yanli have a powerful magic call "Eat some soup and maybe you'll feel better'#That is also a spell you can cast upon yourself. Go eat some soup and you will feel better. Merry Soupmas everyone.#One more week of Thistle Thursdays....I'm not ready to say goodbye B*(
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Mark smiling after Oscar said he had to "hang on for dear life."
#HES SO FUCKING PROUD OF HIMMM MM ABASDAHKLDMKWFSKVDL#IM DYING IM DYING#LOOKK AT HIS SMILE AAAAAGHHHHHHHHH#HES SO PROUD HE KNEW HE COULD DO IT OMGGGGGGGGG#oscarmark fellows are we feeling okay????#i was like omg show mark!!!#did not expect them to show the most handsome mark ever omfg#oscarmark#f1#formula 1#mark webber#oscar piastri#2024 azerbaijan gp#2024 azerbaijan grand prix#we do a little bit of f1
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Being someone who read Under The Red Hood and came out with the firm belief that, for Jason, it's not about killing Joker, it's about Jason wanting proof Batman would choose him over the Joker (bc shelia chose the joker). Makes seeing any other media where it's all about just wanting the Joker dead is a teeny bit frustrating. to be honest
Jason could've killed the Joker himself, really, really easily. Jason kidnaps the Joker before the confrontation. I can't open my comic for a reference right now, but it felt like he had the Joker for quite a bit before the confrontation. He had him. He beat him up with a crowbar. He had every single opportunity to kill the Joker himself, but he didn't because that wasn't his goal. Make no mistake, he did plan for the Joker to be dead by the end of it, but do you see what im trying to say here
Edit: If I knew this post was gonna get 1000+ notes I would've tried to word it better or something, this was a rant I made on the way to the grocery store đ
It's not about making Batman kill either. When Batman says he won't kill, Jason adjusts and goes, 'Let ME kill the Joker or kill me to stop me' instead. The test is all about Batman choosing him. The whole final confrontation is Jason's first death again. The parent, The Joker, and the explosives. It even ends with Jason unable to move as a bomb goes off right next to him again because the parent didn't choose Jason. And instead tried finding an option that'd benefit them and (consequencely) letting the Joker walk, again, lol, lmao <-in agony
#the final confrontation was basically his first death again#and YES he Does want the Joker dead#and it would've been really really nice if Batman was the one who did it#but when batman made it clear he wouldn't kill the joker. Jason easily switched to saying âLET me kill the jokerâ to accommodate#because he Wanted batman to pass his test#he gave a test to dick too. and technically tim but it wasnt the family test it was a different one so it doesnt rly count#AFTER utrh and the reveal and the batarang you can go hog wild about it. i care less about it then#granted i do believe they make jason more scared of the joker after it at some point#i guess because hes a bit too willing to kill the joker and ive heard jason wasnt meant to live after utrh#my watsonian explain for that is he was so fixated on his plan he cpuld override his fear. or maybe the pit. either work#i prefer the fixation bc i dont like the explanation that the pit was the /only/ reason he could get all plan together and done#BUT THATS UNRELATED!!!#dc stop putting the joker in jason stories im begging you please please please. lock him in a vault for the next 20 years or something#it Cpuld be good and i understand. but also. after so long of people that dont know or go for jasons need for family and parents#that love him and he can trust#the joker starts to feel like?? hm. words. a cop out? oh haha its that guy that killed him woagh hes here#i bet you dont even know that jaybin got beat until unconsciousness by an angry mob#while asking batman to save him only for batman to have to walk away#anwya. where was i going with this#i think i got off topic#jason todd#dc comics#batman#ADDED AN EDIT. SORRY. this post has been haunting me it keeps me awake. what if people misunderstand#they cant read my tags where i ramble more depth. thisbis the only option#EDIT EDIT: hiii#removed the sentence abt jason having the joker for several days bc i misremembered some things#go read its-your-mind 's addition instead also#ok no more i wont edit this post anymore i promise
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You look just like your mother. I'll not lose her again.
#hades#hades game#hades supergiant#hades 2#i feel So Normal about this chthonic lineage of spring and blood#do you think persephone looks like her mortal father#do you think zagreus looks a bit like his farmer grandfather#demeter supergiant#persephone supergiant#zagreus supergiant#melinoe supergiant
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academy days
#jayvik#arcane#jayce tallis#viktor#league of legends#BIIIIIIG DEEP BREATH#HIIIIIIIIII TUMBLR#i feel like iâm gasping for air with how much yaoi iâve been drowning in over the last few days#arcane s2 really destroyed my sleep schedule#i canât stop thinking about these two#this drawing is meant to be like a sort of fond memory of jayceâs#hence viktors face being a bit hidden#since the details are murky#but where viktors body made contact with his is crystal clear#itâs also meant to be a moment where maybe viktor needed a moment to rest and jayce offered his shoulder#and even though viktors body needed a break his mind didnât#so they sat there and talked and talked and talked until their minds were tired too#i love that tumblr tags are like this i like having the ability to share my thoughts for anyone curious enough to know them#my art#doodle tag
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new official illust of them with puppies healed something in me
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#yuji itadori#megumi fushiguro#nobara kugisaki#fanart#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#file name pupys btw bc they r all. pupys#6 pupys in this image#cries eternally u kno the cruel thing is there is no winning fr me when it comes 2 creating art fr this series#i draw them in canon situations i experience pain i draw them in noncanon Relaxed situations i experience pain#illusion of choice.....#regardless i care them so much i would MUCH rather them b in a sunny field with dogs#i will endure the bittersweet feeling of being an audience member n knowing that their reality is nowhere this tranquil#i can dream :'< i can draw :'<#anyway this took a billion years bc i made megumi stand smh#he didnt fight or anything but th overall Composition ws a bit harder 2 navigate because of it#smth smth sizing smth smth planes idk i cant draw#i think it makes sense tho! nobara/yuuji sitting chilling casually rolling a tennis ball fr their puppies#meanwhile megumi Actively trying 2 train his#head in hands god im MISERABLE#anyway this will b available as a print per request if any1 wants 2 b miserable with me
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Down Below
Here's my yearly dose of fish. A lot of them and one big boi. Oh and Link's there too. <3
#sidlink#king sidon#prince sidon#link totk#link botw#legend of zelda#totk#botw#tears of the kingdom#las!art#mort started his playthrough of totk and it gave me so many feels#i didn't bother with too many details bc i like my fish boyfriend a little bit more monstery anyways#so#you know
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I donât think theyâre ugly. But I think the number of times Jean has begged him to buy new clothes is astronomical.
#and this is his work appropriate stuff. think about the stuff thatâs too disco to even consider wearing to work. imagine.#I just love the idea of Harry rediscovering his apartment and finding out that green/orange combo was the most normal itâs gonna get#anyway#I have a bunch of de comic ideas but Iâm feeling a bit down in the dumps about my art lately#so it thought I should practice drawing him a bit more#disco elysium#disco elysium fanart#harry du bois#harrier du bois#hdb#jean vicquemare#jean viquemare#which one is it???#kim kitsuragi#de fanart#kimharry#kinda#kim x harry#harry x kim#art#artwork#my art#fanart#digital art#drawing
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One of my favorite trope for Steddie is Steve hunting down Eddie when the kids join Hellfire and giving him a long list of dos and donts.
At first Eddie thinks heâs just being a prick, and worried heâs going to turn the nerds into freaks like him. Especially when he says not to mention drugs in front of Dustin.
But then he starts pulling out lists of monsters that canât be in campaigns. And like what??? Why canât he use demagorgons? They were gonna be in the next combat! Heâs tempted to ignore the warnings, in fact heâs all set to, but something about Steveâs face when he was laying it all out haunts him. Something so deadly serious about it. So first he decides to test the waters to see if heâs full of shit.
When the session starts, he makes a throwaway comment, âyouâre acting like thereâs a mindflayer around the corner.â
All the kids freeze but Wheeler especially looks like heâs going to be sick. He even grabs at the bracelet around his wrist. The one he always said his best friend made him before he moved.
Eddie curses himself for even trying to test it out after that, and immediately bullshits the whole session so he can scrap any hint of demogorgans from the campaign.
After that session he drives straight to Harringtons house and demands they go over all the things he canât include again, in detail, while he takes notes.
He doesnât know whatâs going on with these freshmen, but he knows trauma when he sees it and well heâd gotten attached to the gremlins.
When he leaves that night, he thinks Steve is looking at him with approval. Like he trusts him with their well-being now.
#stranger things#eddie munson#steve harrington#mike wheeler#lil bit of byler#just a hint#also I firmly believe thereâs not enough Eddie and Mike content in this fandom#like Mike worshipped him too#styled himself after him#and arguably needs Eddie more than Dustin does since heâs already got Steve#idk why I just feel like if anyone can kill season 3 and 4 Mike itâs Eddie#bring back my sweet season 1 and 2 leader who puts his friends before everything else#steddie#mine
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