#i genuinely dont care if i lose a follower over this

[massiveladycat]

with all due respect for proshippers, which is none, you disgust me. you're so obsessed with shipping incest it's like you think the only thing that makes a good plot is siblings swapping spit. i wouldn't trust you with human decency. and let's talk about that teacher x student romance, that's just sad, bro. like, seriously, do you not know the difference between romance and actual fucked up shit? you're the kind of person who thinks a minor x adult relationship is just "forbidden love" when it's really just a predator grooming their victim. you actively sexualize things that have happened to real people, things that have traumatized people and things that have changed their lives. you actively justify sexualizing children, sexualizing rape, sexualizing non-con. you're disgusting and i would be disappointed if i could ever birth a child like you. go get a life that doesn't revolve around supporting abusive dynamics and predatory behavior. nobody wants to be associated with you. just remember, while you're out here being a proshipper, the rest of us are actually respecting people who know the meaning of consent and respect. it doesn't MATTER if you think fiction has no effect on real life. it's so horrible that you think your pedophilia fanfics and abusive ships have no impact on anyone. do you know how many people you will hurt by going out there, writing some fanfic that tells them that everything that happened to them was okay and right? that there's a group of people that think what happened to them was hot? that if they put their story out there, there's a chance that you may sexualize them or justify their abuser? that they should've enjoyed it? fuck you. fuck every proshipper that tries to justify themselves with 'whimsy' or 'just fun.' fuck you.

[nt3000s]

im so lucky to know so many people in my life to have met so many people in my life that are just life saving ill never not feel lucky people are so beautiful and kind and talented and funny and have so much worth everyone ive ever met anyone in my life i have ever touched i just cant believe it ill never be able to understand it how important everyone is how much i love people the degree to whihc i love people and everyone i have ever met ill just never ever be able to express the depth of how important it is to me it might be the most important part of my entire life. i just need people to know how much i love them im desperate for it to be known how important everyone ive ever met is to me. all of my friends everyone whos ever been kind to me and whoever ive been kind to it will never be lost on me how important it is. and i feel so lucky to be graced i guess by my friends. i cant imagine the life i would live without every event every person who ive ever crossed. i would never sacrifice anything to not be where i am now because of the people i know and have known. the people i know and talk to everyday or the people i see in a notification or pass by. i cant overstate your importance to me. i cant overstate how important i want people to feel. i want people to see themselves how i see them. i can not overstate your importance to me and i love you. im so lucky ill never be able to take it

[snekdood]

i really dont think i actually deserved all that bullshit. the internets traumatized me now at this point and literally no ones gonna care unless my abuser is honest and its so fucking exhausting.

[wutheringskies]

everyone is like: if wei wuxian told everyone he gave his core to Jiang Cheng, all of this wouldn't have happened!

me: if he told jiang cheng, it would be WORSE.

consider these points:

Jiang Cheng was a newly appointed sect leader, hell-bent on revenge, finally surpassing others. He would emotionally break if he finds out it's all because of Wei Wuxian's core. He wouldn't want to lose it; but Wei Wuxian holding that over his head will make it terrible for him; rage, tantrums; in that war-time would have literally robbed him of his senses.

This is a war. If some people find out Wei Wuxian doesn't have a core, what's stopping the enemy from finding out? Even so, there would be people who wish to kill the ever-powerful son of a servant. The hundreds-hole curse could only succeed because Jin Zixun had low cultivation. Think of how many enemies (Wens, and the others) Wei Wuxian had. They don't dare curse him because 1) they believe he has superior cultivation and 2) if he comes for revenge with his stygian tiger seal and chenqing, it simply wouldn't be worth it. So, high risk and low reward. but in actuality, if someone did curse him, without a core to cleanse him, it would be fatal!

As the "son of a servant" and "wielder of immense power," his place in the cultivation world was already unstable. If they find out he doesn't even have a core, he cannot stay in the cultivation world! If he leaves, then there's no protection guaranteed for him from those who wish to claim his power anyway!

Literally, the only ones who would genuinely care would be Lan Wangji and Jiang Yanli. And what could they do? Lan Xichen would be sympathetic, but when has sympathy saved lives when there's no follow-up action? Nie Mingjue would commend his sacrifice, but will he save the Wens? Nope. Nobody would magically go like, "oh, let us help wei wuxian who doesn't have a core tragically."

Among the general public, would anyone look at it as anything other than a grand sacrifice for his superior? "Wei Wuxian is really loyal," and when he saves the Wens, it would go down the path of, "Can't believe he betrayed the Jiang Clan."

The only one who wished to know the why's and the how's and the reasoning behind it all was Lan Wangji. Lan Wangji, who would try his utter best; but Wei Wuxian himself was so powerful. Xiao Xingchen and Song Lan were powerful. Wen Qing and Wen Ning were also powerful. All the righteous people had tragic ends - if Lan Wangji was allowed to know, he would push harder at Wei Ying. But will Wei Ying accept it? Will he feel a certain disregard of respect? A lack of trust from Lan Wangji because they dont have the fundamentals down?How can it magically make things alright, when their issues go deeper than Wei Wuxian being on an "unorthodox path"? So, who's to say, even if Lan Wangji realized it all, somehow forced himself into Wei Wuxian's space when Wei Wuxian did not want it with some OOC syndrome, but even then what can he do? In the end, rather than just one, both would die. The odds are bad when it's 1 vs 3000, but is it much better if it's 2 vs 3000?

Wei Wuxian's arrogance protected the secret that would've signed him out of the war, out of the cultivation world. The fear people had for him protected him. Even after his death, they only noticed the annihilation of minor clans because "oh no yllz is here to take revenge!" If he acted weak and approachable and sad, just how few would hold true empathy compared to all the many that would see an opportunity to strike? Whoever wields power, speaks out, and is from an unproveleged background yet sitting among the gentry is already an outcast.

The only way he wouldn't have died were if he were someone who bowed to servitude, if he kept quiet, if he counted his losses and gains like Jin Guangyao. Will this harm me? Yes. So I cannot do it.

That's not Wei Wuxian.

"Let gains and losses remain uncommented upon." If the whole world wishes to kill innocents to satiate their own hatred then the whole world is wrong, and he won't stand up for it - whether or not, he has a romantic relationship with Lan Wangji early, or if he's actual siblings with the Jiangs (like actually adopted.)

Whether he wields a sword or his flute or nothing at all; whether he's loved or hated, he is bound to be resented by those who are hypocrites. The loss of his golden core won't shake them with empathy, but mockery not just towards him, but towards Jiang Wanyin as well.

"Congratulations, Jiang Cheng, for killing the man who killed your entire family (false, but you know) and was unrighteous!"

"But isn't the Jiang Clan only alive because of Wei Wuxian's core?"

"Jiang Wanyin is such a loser; he took his servant's core."

That would be a fucking literal nightmare. That is why, Wei Wuxian doesn't say a word or whine or cry. He probably thought he could wait until Jiang clan is in a better spot and tell only Jiang Cheng, but by then, he'd already been caught up in the Wen's situation.

[bats4sophie]

Lonelyeyes....I love you, Lonelyeyes.... Anyway. So. I made a little Lonelyeyes fanfic. Enjoy, I suppose. I haven't properly written in a while, or posted writing, at that, but. We ball

Warnings I guess? Mentions of death and age and stuff, might be slightly ooc for them buttttt wtv

"Peter!" The voice called out from behind him. He didn't even need to turn around. No, he recognised the voice without the face. He sat at the well worn wooden bench, hands shoved in his pockets. Simply watching the choppy waves of the Thames River, the thick, lonely morning fog rolling over it. He was almost at peace.

Behind him, the steps got closer, and closer, until they were almost right next to him.

"Elias."

He spoke, his voice flat as the smaller man sat down on the bench next to him, following Peters gaze, and watching the waves, much like him.

"Long time, no see, Peter."

Peter shifted uncomfortabley. He hated having to sit close to anyone, to talk to anyone if it wasn't nesecary. It wasnt so bad that it was Elias who was speaking to him and sitting next to him....but still bad.

"Yes, I suppose so... What is it you want, Elias."

He spoke bluntly, to the point; He knew Elias was after something, he always was.

"Can't two old friends catch up, without needing a reason?"

"No. Not if you're involved. I know you, I know there is always an ulterior motive. So, I'll ask again; What is it you want?"

Elias scoffed, half amused, half annoyed.

"Well... I just need to ask a little favour, of sorts. I'm going away soon. I won't be able to look after my Institute."

Peter raised an eyebrow at this.

"And, what, I suppose you want me to do it for you? What gives you the idea that I'll do that?"

"I figured that, since the Lukas's and the Institute have had a very long partnership together, that you might be willing. And besides, it'll only be for a little bit, whilst I'm away. As soon as all the pieces of my plan fall into place, you'll be out of there, and back to The Lonely."

For a few moments, Peter did not reply. He thought over it, but he knew he couldn't refuse Elias, anyway. Damn it.

"...You have a way with words, Elias, you know that? Fine. I'll look after your precious Institute, but only to an extent. If your employees decide to do something stupid, or get hurt, I'm not intervening."

"Thats fine by me."

Elias replied, a slight chuckle in his voice. Peter didn't understand what was so amusing, but said nothing. He simply continued to enjoy the peace and tranquility, till it was once again broken.

"You look...More tired nowadays, Peter."

"Yes, well. I'm getting old. I'm more worn. It catches up to everyone..."

He pauses, and glances over at Elias, before adding on, slowly:

"Or, almost everyone."

Once again, Elias laughed that same smooth laugh. He knew he would live to be older than Peter. His tone took a slight turn, almost... concern.

"Just... Take care of yourself."

This suprised Peter, just a little. It wasn't often Elias would show...Well, any type of feeling for another.

"I am. Or, atleast, I'm trying."

"Well, thats something, atleast. I just dont want to lose you."

Elias felt odd saying things like this. He was never really able to say these things without feeling off. But with Peter? He was genuine.

"You won't. Not soon, anyway, if I can help it."

Peter's gaze turned down. Truthefully, it had felt strange to have Elias - or anyone - care for him, but not all unwelcome. He felt compelled to move his hand, placing it on top of Elias's own, intertwining their fingers, almost suprising himself. Despite the smile on Elias's face, there was a heavy feeling in his chest, an awful dread. For him, he didn't doubt he would live for a long time, but Peter... Peter could feel the change in atmosphere, the change in the silence, and eventually spoke up.

"When I do...Well, you know...When I'm gone. I don't want you- I don't want it to get in the way of anything. I dont want you to be sad..."

The words made Elias's chest tighten more.

"Don't talk nonsense, Peter. You don't get to decide if I'm sad or not."

Peter looked away slightly. Had he said the wrong thing? He wasn't doing very well at this... He shook his head a little.

"No, no, of- of course not, i just mean... i just..."

His voice trailed off a little, and goes quiet. He couldn't even find the words to say.

"...Please, don't leave me."

Elias said simply, quietly. It was clear that the idea of out living Peter had hit him hard, and Peter once more, didn't know how to reply. He simply gave the other mans hand a gentle squeeze, and pulled him close next to him.

[gods-favorite-autistic]

No because the way love ties into this season is so good especially during the last three episodes

Like we start off with all the Bad Kids going through it love-wise, Gorgugs just recently broke up with his girlfriend, Adaine had to leave her sister right after she reconnected with her only to find out that she moved out while she was away, Fabian is doing what Fabian is doing with Ecaf, Fig gets back to find out that her girlfriend will be going on a trip and she won’t be able to see her all year, Kristen is also going through her breakup with Tracker, Riz is still struggling with his sexuality and aromanticism, it’s a lot.

Then you have their individual b-plots with Fabian being left alone at home for a whole year right when he gets back (hoping to reconnect with his mom since he hasn’t been able to really do that for the first 16 years of his life) leaving him with no one to care for him so he tries to fill his home with so much noise that he can drown out the parent shaped hole in his heart, Fig taking on Gilears curse not through blood but through the sheer love that this man has for his child, Adaine not having the resources she needs but not wanting to burden Jawbone with that because that’s how she was conditioned to feel for her entire life, Riz struggling with the idea of losing the only friends (besides Penny) he’s ever had but knowing he’ll need to work himself to the bone to have even a chance of staying with them throughout college

And then you look at the entire Mordred Manor fight, Baron, Riz’s literal manifestation of all of his fears of being aroace coming to life, who has been here this whole time following Riz in his briefcase, a gift from his best friend who has denied time and time again of them being best friends but who gave him that gift out of love, using twisted manifestations of the loving, caring people of Mordred to attack the Bad Kids and even possessing and controlling to them to try and attack each other but they make it out and they break Gilears curse and they can leave Baron behind for now

AND THE LAST STAND dont even get me started on the Last Stand like they’re in mortal danger and yet Fabian is still teasing Adaine for her horrible joke like the siblings they are, Adaine helping Fig with her smite, Fabian calling out for Adaine the second he gets trapped because she’s Adaine, she’ll know what to do, the power of friendship getting them an extra spell slot, Kipperlilly slitting Buddys throat because she never truly cared for him as her party member, he was just an expendable pawn, Kristen trying to revive him despite how she might feel about him, it’s all love now, GOD

I could talk about other fights but I think this post is already very very long

AND there’s all the outside of combat moments that I love, like Riz’s mom trying to make sure he’s okay and he’s not being taken advantage of, the entire party trying to help Adaine with her crush, Fabian originally going after Ivy over Mazey because he’s better equipped to deal with someone mean and who doesn’t truly care about him over someone kind and good and who is concerned about him in a genuine way, Sandra Lynn still being unable to parent Fig in the way she deserves but she’s getting better, Fabian trying his damndest to reach out to his father, AYDAS MESSAGES, even beyond the party, Ankarna being corrupted by her followers but absolutely refusing to harm her ex wife and her sister, Zara Sool getting her powers from her beloved AUGH

THE LAST TWO FIGHTS THOUGH, Figs armor of Ayda, remember when we died, Oisins betrayal, Fabian’s speech to Ivy, Gorgug being driven by his love for his friends and refusing to turn to the rage of Porter, Adaines detect thoughts that ends up saving them coming from a gift from Fabian, Fabian being the one to do the divine intervention and Ankarna destroying Porter after seeing the pure love Fabian and Mazey have and refusing to let the injustice that would be them dying happen, Fabian’s talk with his dad, I don’t need justice against these people, Cassandra and Ankarna being reunited, AGJRJJESN

anyways. Fantasy High Junior Year. Rahhhh 🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅

[zynart]

the picture of aubrey dorian grayham

i havent seen anyone else say it yet, but i've often felt like drake had the vibe of a real-life dorian gray, even for years before this and even aside from all the allegations. and if today felt like a slashed painting, let's cover what i mean

it's about an almost 40 year old whose entire online presence for years has been culture curation and memes and celebrity shit and partying and womanizing and more partying on instagram and plastic surgery and trendsetting trend following and making music to make tiktok money and memeing with celebrities for instagram

a slightly dorky looking guy who seemed like a somewhat self-aware and kinda soulful enough dude in his early 20s, who got famous making music about love and emotions or heartbreak or whatever that even got him the "sensitive rapper" moniker (whether the image was real or fake all along, what i mean in how he came across in public) who has now spent a decade as this giant star where i cant remember the last time i've seen him do anything that looked like it showed an actual emotion beyond insecurity and pettiness and self-aggrandizement in all that time, especially about love

guy made songs like marvin's room but when's the last time he seems to have had any actual emotions about any women besides just chasing an endless list of women as status symbols and feeling wronged or slighted or threatened by women over petty shit. guy got famous off a song like best i ever had, made "sweatpants, hair tied, chilling with no make-up / that's when you're the prettiest" into a catchphrase people referenced for years. i dont know what his true self was but just like in the story, we're not arguing about whether dorian was rotten from the start, just talking about how it seems

haven't seen him show genuine emotion in years aside from trolling. flaunting wealth, trying to take taken women getting off on the concept of dominance play over other men. it's like someone who cared so much about looking hard and chasing pleasures that, because they thought real love and heartbreak looked weak, decided it was better to lose the capability at all

"enthralled by the hedonistic worldview that sensual fulfillment is the only thing worth pursuing in life... dorian expresses the desire to sell his soul. the wish is granted, and dorian pursues a libertine life of varied amoral experiences while staying young..."

someone whose entire life is vacationing with drinks beautiful settings or clubs or mansions or posing with celebrity women or trolling for memes, shown no actual emotions except pettiness and resentment in years. plastic surgery to look fitter and younger. life that's not lived as much as meticulously crafted and curated for instagram

circling back and seeing its a reverse dorian gray situation. one might think that instagram is the real-life painting, but the drake that we see and know is the drake on instagram, the carefully curated hedonistic party animal billionaire with a parade of celebrity friends and women, ab etchings and pout and photo filters and vacation settings for a look curated to be unchanging, constant, the biggest star on the planet. the drake we dont see, the drake in the attic, is the real drake. the person behind the curation

tbh maybe it's not that deep, it's just. a certain dorian gray feeling is something i've always gotten. this drake is something that in theory can't last, you would've expected any given billionaire playboy to have wound down and found love and settled by this age, there's only so long you can stave off time until you're actually old without a family around you, unless you're dorian gray and you can just keep going. but at some point someone's still stabbing that painting

[v1trum]

I dont even care anymore i have to talk about how cool i am

Like i try to not sound like im bragging about it but i am all i ever want to DO is brag about it. So let me brag. I might lose some followers for this

Ik i talk about it a lot its not a pity thing or attention seeking thing i just genuinely think it's one of the coolest things to happen to me bc i have an extremely uninteresting life so this happened and became my entire personality 🫶

Me omw to get out of the smoking car, hop onto my broken ankle while holding my shattered arm against my torso and walk a distance (idk how long the distance was but it was a distance)

[insert the proud tiktok emoji]

Me omw to chill in a random car for 10 minutes with all of these injuries doing absolutely nothing

[insert the proud tiktok emoji]

Me omw to be the only reason the old lady in the car next to us didn't die (if my side of the car hadn't been crushed by two dif cars and a pole i wouldn't have broken so many bones, but also that lady would 100% have died)

[insert the proud tiktok emoji]

Me omw to sit in an ambulance acting like its the most normal thing ever (im strapped to the rolling bed thingy with all these injuries, no pain meds yet, and still not crying)

[insert the proud tiktok emoji]

Me omw to fucking START GIGGLING in the ambulance bc the only thing i could think was "heh ... Im JUST like (the superhero character i was obsessed with at the time)" 😭 ✋

[insert the proud tiktok emoji]

Me omw to get my shirt that says "not today, satan" cut off of me in the ER (it was in fact that day.) (i again felt like i was in a movie bc CMONNNN THEY CUT MY CLOTHES OFFFFF)

[insert the proud tiktok emoji]

Me omw to try not to laugh hysterically at how being rolled into the ER i was just chilling and literally every nurse around stopped in their tracks to stare at me with the most "😨😧.." look on their faces ever but i could not have given less of a fuck 😭

[insert the proud tiktok emoji]

Me omw to get several painful x-rays of my shattered arm and broken ankle, the doctors say "hey we're gonna put you under emergency surgery to set your broken arm" and i was like "ok" but then i moved my arm around and set it in place in front of them and was like "that feels good" . They did another x ray and i in fact did just set my own fucking arm on no pain meds in front of them 🫶

[insert the proud tiktok emoji]

Me omw to ditch my crutches and big walking boot one(1) day after getting home from the hospital and walking on my broken ankle consistently bc i was tired of that shit

[insert the proud tiktok emoji]

Me omw to get put on literal KETAMINE so they could put a cast on my arm (bc of how shattered it was it wasn't able to be done without pain meds)

And stare at the mickey mouse painting on the wall and then go "IS THAT MY ARM??? 😨😨😨" when i saw it next to me. Like no bro its ur foot YES ITS UR ARM 😭??

Also worth noting the ketamine didn't really do anything for pain it kinda just made me unable to make a coherent thought while they shoved my freshly broken arm around inside of my flesh! That shit hurt more than the actual snap crackle pop when i broke it

But also i literally blacked all that out so ofc it hurt more than that cus I don't remember it 😭

[insert the proud tiktok emoji]

Me omw to awkwardly stand outside a different hospital (the one my mom was at) looking distraught bc i had just gotten out of MY hospital, was still extremely swollen, bruised, freshly in casts and struggling to use crutches while i waited for my dad to get a wheelchair for me (i kept almost falling over and ppl were a tad concerned.)

[insert the proud tiktok emoji]

Me omw to call my friends giggling in the hospital before i was even on pain meds like "YO GUESS WHAT" (i couldn't even see my screen bc the neck brace wouldn't let me move)

[insert the proud tiktok emoji]

Me omw to have raw. RAW. Infected skin under my cast (a velcro one you could briefly take off to clean but needed to stay on otherwise)! Also me omw to have scars from that velcro cast cutting extremely deep into my skin as if it wasn't enough pain already like damn 💀

[insert the proud tiktok emoji]

Me omw to STILL not remember literally the entire car ride leading up to when i "woke up" in the car. Which btw i never actually passed out it was all shock. I was awake physically the whole time but i do NAWT remember that shit and ik its for the better but if i remember it maybe I'll take it seriously again and stfu abt it bc it'll be traumatizing instead of cool?? 💀

[insert the proud tiktok emoji]

I could go on and on helppp

[yuri-for-businesswomen]

this is stupid but do you have any advice for feeling perpetual guilt for being a radfem/“terf” (ik that’s not real but you know what i mean)? i just went down a wikipedia rabbit hole of articles about the “anti gender movement” and stuff like that. it upset me to see how biased the wording of the articles was, the article on the LGB Alliance acted like they’re on par with the KKK. it made me spiral all over again wondering if i have fallen prey to some kind of evil cult. i have worried about this on and off for 8 years, since i discovered radical feminism on tumblr. do you have any thoughts to share?

i think there are a lot of issues in the gender critical community - i feel like some people genuinely do just hate trans people. the fact that „terf“, transphobe and feminist, radfem and gender critical are used interchangeably - both by people appropriating the label who are only gender critical/hate trans people but by no means feminist, and „opponents“ who succesfully discredit anyone asking questions or referring to sex matters - has been very detrimental for political organisation and legitimacy. but you cant lose your empathy. i like to poke fun too but im trying to remind myself trans people are not a monolith and girls with internalised misogyny and people with internalised homophobia deserve empathy, always, even if we are on „different sides“ right now (i dont care about the heterosexual men identifying as trans though). and i personally think if you always keep that base empathy you cant be blinded by hate so easily… and like keep calling out unnuanced and harmful takes in your own community. also go outside tumblr… talk to people in real life… read books, studies, research… follow trans people so you keep seeing how they see things and why they feel the way they feel… but to be honest you cant go and ask people whether your belief system is right or wrong, you have to make up your own mind.

[pumpkinsy0]

so ik i said angela would b misdiagnosed w hpd (histrionic personality disorder), HOWEVER i was asked how she would b if she DID have it so

@sx2ism,,, this ones for U🫵🏽

quick context but what hpd is, in the most basic way i can explain it, ppl w hpd act out in order to get attention bc their self esteem depends on the approval of others AND AS ALWAYS, if i say something wrong, pls let me know🙏🏽🙏🏽

SO ANGELA W HPD

•it usually begins to show in like late teens, early 20s, so to me i think angela would have symptoms of it growing up and its just piled uo and rlly showed when she was like 22ish

•how she got hpd like a mix of genetics and the parenting styles of the adults around her

•ppl w hpd can rlly fuss over how they look, so i could see angela spending a longer time getting ready each day, she constantly looks into reflective surfaces to make sure she looks the way she wants to look, and asks the ppl around her if she looks good multiple times and sometimes ppl tease her for it and that angers her

•ppl w hpd have a huge thing for wanting to be noticed, so i feel like angela would do a lot of things to make sure that at least SOME ppl paid attention to her, even if its at her own expense to some degree, like for example if its at a party, she will start drinking and doing things in order for someone to look over at her to b seen as “the life of the party”

•i feel like this is obvious, but angela being known for being pretty would really feed into her feeling of wanting that attention and i have a feeling she would sexualize and flirt w others, not bc she WANTS them, but just to feel accepted and avoid the loneliness

•curly and mostly tim would get on her case for that and angela would argue back that shes grown and he shouldnt care for what she does anymore, but then again, she doesnt wanna lose them, so its this cycle of “i want u close, but dont tell me what to do like u care”, many of her relationships fluctuates like that

•she’d accidentally surround herself w ppl she thinks actually care for her, but rlly they dont care for her THAT much on a personal level, they think shes fun to hang around w, but beyond that, they dont know much about her

•the only person she rlly admires whos like her is sylvia, so shes easily influenced by her, sylvia doesnt know angela has it, she only knows angela is following in her footsteps and she doesnt want that for angie, and shes always telling her to stop, angela takes it personal

•angela can have really big emotional highs, but then lows, pretty quickly

•ppl see angela as just being dramatic, but the just genuinely feels a bit harder than anyone else around her bc she takes things personally

[skeletaltoad]

i dont usually post actual like serious thoughts abt yellowjackets unless im being mean (and some of y'all deserve it) but have some genuine thoughts for a second.

i think the general interpretation of coach ben is. wrong. and hear me out on this one.

ben didn't really lose much in the crash. besides his leg. and an argument could be made that he was likely close to coach martinez (and i would have personally loved to see that dynamic actually play out literally At All).

but his life was already pretty bleak. he wasn't. happy. he was not a happy guy. we see him genuinely Happy maybe three times in the entire show - in 2 flashbacks and in his what-if fantasy. but that's. it. his relationship ended before the girls even won states, and he really. didn't have anything else.

he wasn't happy coaching. we Know That. he didn't hate doing it, obviously. and i don't think he hates the girls (he genuinely cares for most of them, and we see this in the show, and this INCLUDES misty). but he was never happy. it was never a fulfilling career and it certainly didn't make him content in life.

i don't think it's unrealistic to suggest that this is a career he chose because it was a safe path for him. he was likely pushed into sports in high school, and becoming a high school coach would have been the more low-key career path to follow after that. especially if this is the town he grew up in.

he is not different from the girls or travis or javi. he didn't have this amazing happy life he was ripped from. he had a kind of shitty life with One good thing in it that he'd already lost. getting stranded in the wilderness didn't take away his happiness. it took away any chance he'd had to find it.

and, so when he finds SOME normalcy with natalie, and he can finally be himself around someone, that's important to him. so when nat abandons him, too, he has truly nothing left. he has nothing there, nothing to go back to.

ben isn't immune to the wilderness. it did get to him. but it didn't drive him insane or pull him into it like it did with the girls. and i don't think it has to. he's the only character so far who has actively tried to kill himself. he's isolating himself in an extreme way now. everything is being taken away from him over and over. and the further away he distances himself from the girls and the wilderness, the more he loses.

i think it's entirely possible he could survive only not to be rescued. i know that's largely been a joke theory but i don't think it's even improbable. it's in line with his character arc.

[xxaraaq]

𝘽𝙚𝙩𝙩𝙚𝙧

Sorry that I didn't post anything for like three months, but it dont matter anymore, cus I'm here now

MILF! Ochako Ururaka x Black!Fem!reader

┍━☽【❖】☾━┑

At the ripe age of thirty two, Uruaka Ochako would consider herself to be a great mother. But with her boys, nine, seven, and four – she’s so fucking tired. Tired of not being able to catch a break, tired of not being able to live her life as a young woman, and really fucking tired of having a man child of a husband who couldn’t give less of a shit about her and their kids.

She’s tried to be okay with it, but she just cant be. But when she voices it, all she's met with – ‘it’s not like he's cheating on you, he probably just doesn’t find you attractive anymore.’ or ‘just lose some weight or offer to do more, he’s obviously distant for a reason’. And she’s tried all these things, so, so many times. But nothing ever worked, so she’s just given up. And maybe she just had shitty friends, but the two of you first, she had actually felt something.

“So wait – you're telling me that you haven’t had sex in how long?” You whisper, choking on your drink “Eleven months.” She sighs, taking a drink of her mimosa – she hadn’t touched her husband intimately in almost a year, and it was getting to her. She was getting antsy, and she was getting tired of pleasuring herself on her own.

“I would commit suicide, like, actually kill myself. Are you ok?” and Uruaka knows that she’s not, but there isn't anything she could really do.

“I’ve been so stressed out that I don’t know what today is, I’m not even joking.” She says, the fatigue apparent on her figure

“I seriously don’t know why you won’t get a divorce, I will literally move in with you to help out with the kids if that’s what it takes.” And your serious, the look in your eyes directed right at her

“If I could just get one day, that’s all I would need.” She groans, dreaming of the day where that happens

As the conversation goes along, her husband, m/n, comes up. “Hey honey, me and the boys are gonna go watch the game at Mikey’s house. I’ll be back later.” He says, turning away soon after. With an eye roll and shooing hand, she sends him off with malice in her heart. 

“He really gets on my fuckin nerves.” You say, side eyeing him as he walks away with his friends.

“I genuinely don’t care anymore.” Ochako says, getting up to go to the kitchen

Following after her, you close the door behind you, pulling down the blinds

“What’s wrong?” You say, opening your arms for an embrace

“I am so sick of him.” She says, a shake in her voice

“I know baby, I know.” You say, rubbing soothing circles on her back

“I get that he doesn’t care about me, but can he at least fucking act like it.” She cries into your chest

“He doesn’t deserve you, not like I do.” and she knew it was true

“Lemme make you feel better, how bout’ that?” You ask, pulling back from her

“W-what?” She, wiping the tears from her face

“You heard me, Ochako. Let me help you, you need it.”

The both of you know that anyone could walk in at any moment – but that didn’t stop you from kissing her – nor did it stop her from kissing you back. By the time she gained her senses back she was in her shared room.

“We can’t, everyone’s outside.” She says in between kisses

“We already are, and who cares, no one’s gonna come in here.” You shush her, attacking her neck with hickeys

She moans, grasping your hair in her hands – she doesn’t know why she keeps denying herself, she can’t even remember the last time she came by someone else’s touch.

“Fuck.” She moans, the feeling of your hands traveling over her breasts driving her mad. 

You pull down the top of her light blue sundress, exposing her front to you.

“So pretty.” You groan, capturing her breast in your hand, rolling her nipple in between your fingers

Ochako whimpers at the feeling of your fingers toying with her, her getting wetter by the second.

“Take it off for me, yeah?” You ask, tugging at hem of her dress

Nodding, she quickly strips down, throwing it to a random spot in the room.

“So fucking gorgeous.” You utter, hands finding rest on her hips

“Don’t be weird.”She says, wrapping her arms around neck

She kisses you – passionately – as you lead her and yourself onto the bed. You suck on her neck as you make you way down to her thighs, lifting one onto your shoulder.

“Can I?” You ask, playing the fabric of her underwear

“Don’t ask me stupid questions.” She groans, tucking a strand of your hair behind your ear as you smile

Taking her answer as a yes, you pull her panties off onto one ankle, licking a slow stripe up her slit. You rub slow circles on her thighs as you continue your assault on her cunt.

“Ohhhhh fuckkkk” She whines, throwing her head back in her ecstasy

“Tastes so good.” You mutter into her, the vibrations of your voice going straight to her core

She doesn’t know why she hasn’t let you touch her sooner – the fluid movements of your tongue making her delusional. But the best part is, all she has to do is sit there and take it.

You massage your thumb around her puckering hole before inserting two into her. “Shitttt” she mewls, holding both her legs up to her chest

“I can’t, s’ too much.” She slurs, her legs shaking as you slurp and suck up her excess

“You can do it mama, cum for me.” You say, moving your fingers in and out of her at an even quicker pace

“Shittttttttt” She screams, squirting onto you and the sheets

“Damn, I didn’t know you could squirt like that.” You say, licking her off of you

“I, I didn’t know either.” She exhales, letting her legs drop onto the now wet sheets

“Uh uh, why’d you let go.” You say, rubbing slow circles on her now puffy clit

“W-wait, we can’t keep going, everyone’s still outside.”

“And they’ll stay outside, I never said I was done with you. Eleven months is a long time y’know; I can’t let go now.” You explain, Entering her once more

Ochako moans as she thinks about what she got herself into. And she really, really hopes that everyone knows exactly where the bathroom is.

┕━☽【❖】☾━┙

Yayy I post. Dont expect me to post until summer now byee.

-Nene

[raincamp]

11 03 2023

discovering that i experience pathological demand avoidance / pervasive drive for autonomy (PDA) as a symptom of my autism has been fucking life changing.

i spent all these fucking years feeling so helpless, my parents telling me that im lazy, feeling like a failure because i couldnt even graduate highschool. i didnt understand how everyone else could just sit back and waste their entire lives at the demand of someone else. how they could work 40+ hours a week and not come home so exhausted that they can't even find time to take care of themselves.

i couldn't find a justifiable reason why i was physically unable to do what everyone else has been able to "just suck it up" and suffer through. working full time, being at school full time, it was all enough to make me lose sight of why i was even alive. enough to make me have mental crises. enough that i ended up in the hospital several times.

but idk, im fine when i have control over my schedule. i was thriving during COVID when school was no longer a thing i was forced to do, but something i got to choose to do. nobody was making me sit in a building for 6 hours bored out of my mind. i got autonomy over my schedule, over my life, and i genuinely haven't been able to recreate the feeling of freedom it gave me since.

and when i was forced to go to school again, despite how easy it was, despite the fact that i barely had to do anything, the mere idea of having to sit in a classroom against my will made me burn with such rage that i made it so that i had autonomy over it. i would only come to classes i wanted to go to, which meant going to school three hours late and walking out when the class was over.

now obviously thats not how highschool works so i had to drop out. after a lovely (/s) visit to the psych ward my parents stopped giving a fuck. but then it was my choice to get a diploma/GED which i had zero problem doing, i was happy to do it even. why didnt i just sit through the last 6 months of school instead? idk, to me it felt like fucking torture.

i still feel that way, working full time. working part time even. i hate it because i want nothing more than to enjoy having a career like everyone else can. to be able to have a life outside of work, a fulfilling one even. ive never been able to do that. and it saddens me. why is it that everyone around me can find happiness in working their entire lives away but not me? why do i come home everyday wanting to die? why am i the only one who sees it as an injustice that my entire life is going to be spent at the whims of someone else's demands?

i burn with helplessness and anger and pain at the mere thought. but still i suffer through as many months as i can handle at jobs until i have enough money to last me a couple months of freedom. even though i have to sacrifice my mental stability for it. even though it means hospital visits and alcohol dependency and suicide attempts.

a perfect life for me doesn't include not working though, not working feels unfulfilling, i want to make a living for myself. i want to be financially independent. i dont even mind working 8 hours a day if i got to choose my schedule. if i could wake up one day and say "nah ill wait till 2 pm to start work today" or could start work at 7 am when i wanted, take as many days off as i wanted, which honestly wouldn't be a whole lot because i find value in productivity.

its the fact that i have to follow the demands of someone else that sucks the life out of me.

and now that i have this knowledge i can learn how to use it to accommodate my struggles instead of feeling like a fuck up

- andrew

[spikesbunny]

all i can say is as a gay woman in florida, i am so scared.

my prayers go out to all women, whether afab or mtf, all lgbtq citizens, all immigrants, all poc, all with any disabilities or medical concerns, any former s/a victims, and pretty much everyone else is who isn't a straight white male.

these are gonna be a rough 4 years, especially for woman in florida. i can't say how disappointed i was when 57% wasn't enough for amendment 4.

i don't normally use my fanfiction platform for political post, but it had to be said.

stay safe y'all, my prayers go out to you all <3

ps: i dont care if i lose followers over this, or lose interactions. i'm genuinely sick to my stomach. if this bothers me, please, block my ass, because i'm FAR from shutting the fuck up.

[azsazz]

CC3 Anon

spoilers under cut

Hiii it’s CC anon. THANK GOD YOU RESPONDED NO ONE ELSE I KNOW IS READING THIS BOOK 😭

I finished CC3 last night and yeah. I enjoyed the pacing at the beginning of this book more than the first two books because we’re already in the thick of the climax and don’t have to build up suspense again but omg it dragged in the middle.

I did not care for Ithan at all I’m sorry. And yes he hasn’t been a pro sun all player in YEARS idk why she keeps bringing it up. I think someone stumbled and he caught her and Sarah went “his sunball reflexes” HES A WOLF HE WAS ALWAYS GOING TO HAVE QUICK REFLEXES. Had him running up and down to resurrect Sigrid and in the end it DIDNT EVEN MATTER.

Lmaoooo Ithan mostly acted ago appropriate if I think about it. He's like 20 I'm assuming since he's around college age. He's def not my favorite character either tbh. Love how everything fell into his lap tho. Literally anytime he was mentioned so was snuball it was so fucking dumb.

I know you like Tharion but can he do anything right omg. Ithan carried him with the Viper Queen. Sathia carried him in front of the Ocean Queen 😭 I WAS SO PISSED ABOUT THE ANTIDOTES OMG and then Ithan went and did the same. I see why they are best friends like wow stupid really follows stupid.

LMAO I love Tharion, yes he'd definitely dumb and needs to make better decisions but I liked how witty he was in the first book. He really needs to stop with the whole woe is me act tho. omg the antidotes shit don't even get me started. half of the stuff that she wrote for the book didn't even matter in the end. like, we could've cut this damn book down 300 pages tbh, nothing would've been missed because nothing made sense even.

I don’t hate Bryce. She did annoy me though. I hated when Aelin wouldn’t tell people about her plans and could not stand it from Bryce here. Her yelling at Hunt about having to face the consequences of their actions. I’m like dude you went to another world and came back powered up. Hunt stayed and was tortured brutally like what? I know why she doesn’t want him to have guilt about it but it’s his 3rd time going through this and failing. And now he has more to lose. Of course he would be feeling a type of way.

I do not like her at all lol. The whole not telling people plans things pissed me off because her loud mouth is not like that. AND THEN SHE HAS THE AUDACITY TO TELL HUNT "OH YOU DONT EVEN WANT TO BE HERE" girl maybe if you told someone the fuckin plan they would feel a bit more confident about going through with it for fucks sake. she's a mean girl and i can't stand her and i don't think she's funny at all she is so cringe to me haha. HUNT HAS ALREADY TRIED GOING AGAINST THE ASTERI AND HE WAS TORTURED FOR 200 YEARS?! Then he gets freed and has to do it all over again?! Like, why are we yelling at this man? of course he's weary.

I’m not the biggest fan of her swagger at times. Like sometimes we don’t need the quippy (read: unfunny) one liners :/

LITERALLY

The STAKES???? Bryce should’ve stayed dead! It would have been a lot more impactful. Even the torturing scenes kind of didn’t hit as much after the fact cause everyone can just regrow their limbs and be fine. No one had a single nightmare about what happened to them? I thought we would see something like that beyond “a glimmer of darkness in his eyes” idk :/

The entire "someone dying only to be brought to life on the next page" has definitely fucking worn off now but sjm apparently can't see that. she created a world with 50+ characters only to not use half of them when it matters. so stupid. Also, i don't remember them being able to regrow limbs tbh.

Maybe the book would’ve been too long but I was genuinely shocked we didn’t get more scenes of anyone on the actual battlefield. We were mostly in the palace after Bryce and Hunt teleported, and then the moment with Lidia and the sprites. But maybe the book would’ve been too toooo long idk.

Yeah there really was only like 60 pages of the end scene. but as soon as i saw the word space i actually almost DNFd it because what the actual fuck was that.

I will say I really like how the male friendships are genuine. I honestly can’t tell you that Bryce, Fury, and June are friends LMAO. (I’m exaggerating but I do kinda agree with this) .

Yeah, i love Ruhn, dec, and flynn's relationship. i think sjm tries to be like "oh yeah girl power, strong fmc's" but there's no women in the books? and they all don't like each other? like danika, bryce, fury, and juniper seemed like mean girls? girls that didn't give a fuck about anyone else? idk. the way that the men to women ratio in her books is very interesting to me. and the fack that EVERY man that comes across bryce thinks she's the most gorgeous girl to have ever lived...fuck off with that logic.

My girl Jesiba :////// She was my favorite for sure. I'm indifferent about her lol. Her entire storyline i feel was just made up like two months ago so she could connect to the other series lol

I do agree with what you said about Bryce (I legit almost wrote Aelin LMFAO) . I was not expecting her to just say no rulers for the Fae at all. But I guess a Senate would be more democratic.

SO STUPID. The Senate (starwars)

Im sure there will be a fourth book but I am so uninterested in Tharion and Ariadne like who caresssssssss. If Im interested in Ithan, it’s because I want to see more Perry. I wonder how connected this world and ACOTAR will remain.

I honestly hope it ends at 4 books. I think that would be a perfect ending because there's four houses. no need for more im already sick of it. yeah i liked perry too. i hope they're no longer connected lol.

Ruhn and Lidia :) but HE LEGIT SHOT HER?? I know she was acting irrationally because of her sons and he wanted to make sure she didn’t get herself killed but then he shot her. Like okay 😭. I think my favorite couples are Bryce’s parents and Lidia and Ruhn. Ruhn just seems so hot 😭.

Ruhn is a winner for sure for sure.

I’m writing too much and I’m scared this app will just shut down so I’ll quit here. I still think the first book is the worst one in this series. But I had fun with this one (despite my hang ups) and I’m glad it’s over (for now :/).

THANKS FOR LETTING ME RANT!!!

THANKS FOR LETTING ME RANT TOO!

CC anon!! I went to goodreads to read reviews of the book and I genuinely cannot believe how many 5 star ratings this book got. I mean, I can and can’t believe it. Atp anything Sarah puts out will average at least a 4 star rating on there and sell a crap ton.

I think people just give her that rating because she's popular, not because they read lol. oh yeah, why do you think she released 5 different bonus chapters. talk about a greedy cash grab. that mentality kinda makes me sick im not even going to lie.

I was reading through the 2-star reviews and someone mentioned their shock at how quickly Ruhn and Lidia resolved their issues which I totally agree with. She said she hated him and would never forgive him for what he did, and she was right! I know why Ruhn did it, but I genuinely still cannot believe he actually shot her, even if she was gonna be okay. That’s a terrible time to be worrying about a wound like that when you want to be at full strength to fight for your children.

Yeah half of the plot lines felt stupid? like what? he couldn't have stopped her any other way...really? i feel like she did not think this book through as well as she thought she did tbh. seems to be her thing these days.

(Even when Hunt said he hated Bryce for stopping him from killing Celestina, I was like Oh!)

OMG THAT WAS ACTUALLY WILD. YEAH OKAY. I TOTALLY BELIEVE THEY'RE MATES.

The reviewer said Sarah should have left their relationship on the rocks so we could get Ruhn groveling in the fourth book, and I can’t get that idea out of my head. ESPECIALLY with their bonus scene. Idk if you’ve read it but I was like ??? I like them as a couple and I like their story, but it did seem like it was all patched up insanely quickly. Like if you shot me then the very LEAST you could do is get my kids to safety. That alone would not necessarily make me forgive you.

I didn't read their bonus chapter but i can't believe they moved in with each other literally after like two days of knowing each other in real life. bro, you just found out she has two kids? you don't know the woman at all lol. no, everyone has to have a happy ending by the last page of the book or else. lol. no suspense.

[aranarumei]

your fairy tail posts got me into it, so I gotta ask: favorite ships?

um. my condolences? well i'm joking—despite my critiques of it i still love the thing dearly and am extremely fond of a lot of the characters. I hope you’ve had fun with it too! as for ships... my tastes have changed over the years while also not? i've become really into like. friendships lately, yknow, or things where the dynamic between the two is more important than it being strictly platonic of romantic. so I would say i'm open to a lot of them. as for the ones i tend to go for, they tend to be like. super conventional. whatever i was into years ago, but now i just have a lot of extra headcanons about it. the thing for me is that a lot of the "big" fairy tail ships have like. really good setup, and shoddy execution. also this got long bc I rambled. sorry

i like natsu & lucy because i want them to be best friends and sometimes being best friends is a romance as well... and that starts out really strong in canon until it gets dragged on into just. bad fanservice. like i dont need natsu to see lucy when she's naked. i want them to have an emotional conversation or just work together as a team.

i like gray & juvia a lot, which i know is contentious, but i think they have a genuinely great setup (juvia's someone who's got wild ideas about love, and immediately falls for this guy, who's not into her at all but is also just a better person than any romantic attachments she's had before, and then she's figuring out herself and her place in fairy tail over time. the first two big juvia moments the show has after her fight is when she does a unison raid with lucy and when she refuses to fight cana. her initial feelings towards gray are also... quite shy? like she definitely does follow him around a bit but i think half of that is bc she wants to join fairy tail) and then it just doesn’t resolve well (over time she gets more pushy in a way that reads as jokey but is also uncomfortable, and her character kind of stops being about anything but gray) I’d love to see a version of gray & juvia where gray’s non-interest in her is actually beneficial for her, because she’s not rushing into something with high, perhaps fragile emotions, and she gets to grow as someone outside of gray, and juvia’s protectiveness of gray is done in a way where she’s not pushing him to like her, but rather protecting him just because that’s what someone who loves him would do. this is great for juvia, and also great for gray, who probably could use having someone to check in on him every once in a while. bring them into being seriously friends without pushing romance, and then we could maybe try a romance. it would be slow burn as hell. it would be delightful and entirely to my taste. I have so many wips abt this.

related to that, I like juvia a lot so gajeel & juvia’s relationship as well as lucy & juvia’s relationship is really fun to me. gajeel and juvia especially I would loveeee to dive into their friendship. I think they have a shared experience in phantom lord but also weren’t friends at the time and had a lot of different things going on, so it’s neat that they are still like. looking out for each other because of that past.

jellal & erza have great setup, it’s amazing drama and I think it just. works. completely. after the 7-year timeskip I think it loses some steam, and then it never really recovers in terms of having a sense of weight and depth. I am nonetheless fond of it.

what else… I am really into sting/rogue, I’ve got a fic for that one, and I like freed/laxus a lot, too. I’ll be the first to admit that in canon, freed & laxus don’t have that many meaningful interactions (freed is obsessed with him in a sort of like. comical unrequited crush way bc haha, gay people) and laxus cares for everyone in the raijinshuu pretty equally it feels. However. the initial arc? the fantasia arc? I think the raijinshuu are at their best there, and I wish they had gotten developed into smthing more interesting. once again I have a lot of headcanons.

i think gajeel & levy probably has the smoothest execution of any relationship, but kind of wish levy's character had a bit... More to her? like she's very smart but lucy also tends to do a lot of the smart stuff, and she knows runes but freed is clearly the runes guy, and i just wish we could've gotten more than that? I’ve been messing around with headcanons relating to her recently…

that’s the thing with a lot of fairy tail ships. I think a lot of the character relationships have really interesting ways of looking at them bc there’s just so many characters I like. like I think gray & erza’s relationship is really neat. I wish we’d gotten to see more of gray & cana as friends… it’s so cool that gray & loke are friends to the point that he’s the guy he picks for S-class trials… I like lucy & loke’s relationship a lot (like, the fact he joins gray for those trials is a display of how free he is even while she has his key, and also the loke mini-arc is one of my all time favs). I love the deal with the whole strauss siblings and would’ve been interested in seeing freed & mira interact some more. I don’t really care about it in canon but I think elfman & evergreen is actually a really interesting setup, since they’ve both got this sense of… vanity about them? (evergreen wants to be titania, queen of the fairies, and elfman valorizes manliness. there’s interesting places to take that!). raijinshuu friendship, I’m really into that, like, laxus feels like such a Solo guy and yet he willingly carts around a team with him, and also everyone in that team have kind of freaky eye powers, as far as I can tell. what’s that about. did u upturn your nose at fairy tail’s misfit guild while hanging with a misfit crew? it's a team that characterizes laxus well… I know he’s technically not Part of the raijinshuu team but Cmon he literally is.

all that to say. you could probably sell me on a lot of ships. but natsu/lucy, gray/juvia, sting/rogue, and freed/laxus are probablyyyy the ones I think about most and actively write for (and don’t publish LOL. I need to actually finish one of these things, but the issue is I’ve built so many headcanons I feel weird abt it sometimes. I would loveeee to talk abt them sometime tho)

but even saying that, a lot of the stuff I write reads very ambiguously platonic, so like. if I got sold on something, I’d probably get into it.

anyways anon ty for the question! i love chatting