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#i fucking wanna scream at them both
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#so now again I won't be able to present the best part of my work#and someone else (my boss) will present it and get the credits#this already happened two years back once#when one of my seniors presented the best part of my work until then#and got an international award for it#and my boss made him the first author of a paper based on that work as well#and now I'm being asked to just present some old leftovers while my boss presents the best and most recent part of my work#like bro if I made the samples did the experiments and measurements and the calculations and analysis#the least you could do is not present that work as you own in an international forum#when I indirectly hinted to my boss today that there's nothing new or worthwhile in the part that I'm presenting#I got told Oh don't worry about it... You're just complicating things by thinking too much#Like already everybody in my field now already recognises that senior I mentioned before#because of my work that he presented and got a top award for#and everybody associated him with that work instead of me#not even counting the fact that he had already been made the first author of the paper on my work#so I get no credits in any way possible#i fucking wanna scream at them both#that senior and my boss#but I can't risk antagonizing them even slightly#or I can say goodbye to my career#I wish I wasn't so acquiescent and passive and shy and risk averse#and even if I present that work this time#it's unlikely I'll get awarded no matter how good the presentation#because they're unlikely to award someone from the same group twice#it just makes me feel so hurt and bitter and wish I was never born#and I feel everything bitter about myself the way I am where I'm currently and that my loved ones deserve someone better than me#I hate everything about this and myself
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suntails · 1 year
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7.3
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lunarrolls · 5 months
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listen so closely to me i think liliana temult is a fascinating character and she’s really fun to examine morally but also nothing will ever come fucking close catharsis-wise to watching ashton and orym fucking cross examine her ass in episode 92. the sexiest shit i’ve ever seen “your worst fear is probably my worst fear, and i think we just got a little sample (my worst fear came true because you weren’t fast enough, what will you do when it’s her head on the line?)” and “keep wrestling (you must bear the weight of their deaths on your conscience and know it will never be enough for what you took from me)” like holy SHIT you guys
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earlgodwin · 8 months
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the irony of cesare slutshaming juan for sleeping in brothels had me with tears in my eyes considering his very first scene in the show is him rawdogging a prostitute like his life depended on it...like babygirl we see you!!!
#like they're such whores i'm screaming!! but also so on brand when you think of it. since the real ones both were fucking sancia byeee#i believe the scene where cesare fucks that girl is just a glimpse of the show adapting the Real cesare's General Manwhorishness™ though!#if you're the borgia family enthusiast you already know that cesare has sired 7 illegitimate kids because of his romantic exploits lmao#cesare borgia i love your hypocritical ass fr like yessss#also love their rivalry so much because there's cesare who always wanna one-up juan in every aspect and be seen as the serious and driven#which is true about the hypercompetent and ambitious part!! but he fulfills his duty in the family in ways that are not conventional#meanwhile with juan...he fully embraces his hedonism and isn't ashamed of it. while he's aware that cesare outdo him in everything...#the only thing he has over cesare is his position as a gonfaloniere!! so he winds cesare up with flexing it!!!#the difference is cesare is as much as he hollers about doing everything for the family...he pretty much does it mostly for selfish reasons#his desperation for juan's position and rodrigo's attention made him sabotage the family more than persevering it etc#while juan is genuine but is reckless and incompetent but he Really tries yk? he really does! but he spiraled bc he feels weak and insecure#oh well both brothers are idiots in their own ways#i miss them fr#cesare borgia#juan borgia#the borgias#juan and cesare#text post
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frnkiebby · 6 months
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absolute DARLINGS~🎃
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yakou furio's character is so tragic to me. i wanna meme about how they used the fridged wife trope but other than that it's like. he lost his family and later all of his coworkers and just. existed alone for years.
looking at the state the submarine and especially his bedroom was in, with everything being a mess and all the cigarette butts in his bed, yakou was clearly depressed. he wouldn't even take on any interesting cases to fulfill his passion as a detective because he was so afraid of the peacekeepers. instead he just kept his head down. surviving but not actually living.
and then he finally gets some new detectives to work at his agency and the first thing he can do is fail to save most of them from dying horribly. but the five that yakou did manage to save latch onto him and he starts getting into a leader role! even if his new coworkers are all rowdy and get into trouble they still respect him as a leader and look up to him.
the detectives keep picking fights with the peacekeepers that yakou has been trying so hard to dodge. and usually the resolution is kind of messed up because the victims die but the detectives prove themselves capable of handling the peacekeepers! they're helping people! for the first time in a while, yakou comes toe to toe with peacekeepers willingly, to help his new friends. he realizes that he is able to stand up against amaterasu corp, with the help of the others.
but by the time he realizes this, the stage has already been set. the letter from yomi turned his grief into anger and a thirst for vengeance. although yomi gave him the information and opportunity, yakou was ultimately the one who chose to murder the man who murdered his wife.
yakou has already rebuilt his life after his wife's death. the detectives at his agency look up to him and he would do anything for them. it would never be the same as the life he had with his wife but yakou had the chance to turn over a new leaf with a new found family who cares about him.
but instead, yakou plans a murder. he needs to die, over and over, in order to access the man he wants to kill and he accepts it. he needs to trick two kids, who look up to him and who he cares for, into becoming his accomplices to the murder and he accepts it. in the wake of forcing his detectives to witness his murder, he needs leave them in a lab filled with peacekeepers who want to kill them and he accepts it.
and it's not that he doesn't care about his detectives. yuma and halara disobeyed his orders and assaulted several peacekeepers, and he was willing to be arrested himself before throwing his employees under the bus. yuma and fubuki were implicated in terrorism and yakou and the others solve the case for them, then prepare to fight an army of peacekeepers to protect yuma.
for his murder plan, yakou only needs desuhiko and fubuki's powers. but he brings halara and vivia along as well because they would be able to protect the two younger detectives and fight their way out of the lab after yakou dies. he enacts his plan on a day that yuma wasn't around because he won't be able to help fight peacekeepers, so it's better to just keep him out of this mess. he covers up his murder-suicide to protect his detective's feelings, but also because they would be implicated as his accomplices if his plan was revealed.
and yakou probably expected that the other detectives would be fine. if they'd left him behind to die, the other detectives probably would have been able to either fight their way out or hide out in the lab a bit longer and figured out a good plan to escape. if yakou had his way, he would have gotten his revenge and his detectives would have gone home grief-stricken, but unharmed and forever unaware of their roles in his death.
but yakou doesn't account for the fact that the other detectives would try to save his life. yuma doesn't run after the hitman and escape the peacekeepers, he stays behind to beg yomi to help yakou. fubuki uses up all her energy to rewind time to try to prevent yakou's death instead of helping the others escape the lab. halara, vivia, and desuhiko not only have to fight off peacekeepers, but they also have to carry yakou to a hiding spot to give first aid. and instead of calmly planning their next move, everyone is desperate to solve the case so there would be any chance of getting yakou to a hospital as quickly as possible.
one major theme of rain code is that despite tragedies that may have happened in the past, people can work together with those they care about to live a better life in the future. and yakou could have had that. his wife's death should have stayed in the past, and he should have continued to mentor the other detectives, solving mysteries together and enjoying each other's companies.
but yakou couldn't let the past stay in the past. he had every chance to not go through with his murder. he has new people he loves, but he manipulates them and puts them in danger in order to get back at the person who killed the last person he loved. his victory was a pyrrhic one. he got his revenge but in return, he destroyed himself and his detectives' trust in him. he enjoyed his revenge momentarily before dying and leaving his new family, who he used their love and trust for him to his advantage, to pick up the pieces.
yakou furio had lost everything in the past. but in trying to pursue it he destroyed everything he had in the present. that's the tragedy of his character to me.
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vmbrq · 11 months
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ovulation horny is something neither ethan landry nor charlie walker is equipped to handle LMAOO
unless.
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dipyronegirl · 9 months
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thinking (and rewatching..) inside job again and i dont think rand is that bad of a father? i mean, he made a lot of mistakes and he doesn’t even feel bad ab it, even tho he traumatized reagan and a lot, but he was never absent. he acts like he cared ab reagan’s career just bc it could help his career, but that’s not true. he pushes her to be the best all the time and it’s bad, but he genuinely cares ab her so much. and the whole ‘creating crises to force her to hang out w him’ thing is fucked up, but it’s cute that he just wants to hang out w her that bad. most fathers literally don’t care enough ab their kids to do any of that. most fathers don’t even know their kids as much as he knows her. maybe my standards are just insanely low, probably, but he’s a better parent than 90% of the parents i know
#not just fathers. my standards aren’t lower for fathers than they are for mothers yk. they’re both low#he’s a better parent than my mom#he raised her being completely emotionally neglecting and putting so much pressure on her to be the genius she is#but i mean#my mom was just as emotionally neglecting as he was. i like telling the story ab how she had me stitch up my own wound when i was 8#and always mocked me for being ‘weak’. exactly like toxic masculinity except that we’re both girls. i couldn’t have feelings yk#rand isn’t as toxic as her when it comes to that. he neglects her feelings and even mocks them too but she still seemed allowed to Have them#if my mom thought i was being ‘weak’ she would scream at me ab how much she wished i had never been born. he doesn’t do that!!!!#like when she didn’t wanna skip 4th grade. if that were me my mom would have made me feel so guilty for being born#like i had to skip grades and actively pretend (i’m talking real acting here) to not be upset or she’d go on her rants#ab how life is difficult and depressing for everyone and i gotta swallow it and like it cause she sacrificed her happiness and health for me#cause my being born made her life so hard etc etc#i don’t think rand make reagan feel like her continuing existence kept him from being happy or healthy#my mom started blaming her diabetes on me when i was 10.#like im not fucking kidding#cause my expensive private school (that she forced me to go to all my life cause it was semi boarding so i had someplace to stay all day and#so she didn’t need to leave me home alone) made her work too much which made her stressed which made her eat more so being diabetic was a#sacrifice she made for my future#that’s just how it was#inside job#text
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thedreadvampy · 7 months
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another day another 2 hour despair sesh on the phone with my mum about Palestine
#red said#apparently the British Society of Friends won't allow an epistle that mentions 'the war in Gaza' in case it upsets 'the Jewish community'#literally MENTIONING THAT THERE IS A WAR#bc mum and the rest of the meeting agreed to remove reference to it starting on October 7th WHICH IT OBVIOUSLY DID NOT there are concerns#about Appearing Antisemitic. by MENTIONING THAT IT'S HAPPENING WITHOUT BLAMING KHAMAS#the justification. apparently. is that we're already on thin ice with The Jewish Community because of Quaker activities in Palestine#which have been largely to do with challenging apartheid and trying to help broker peace processes#so me and mum are both like. ok so are we pro Palestine or pro genocide as an organisation?#because if we think Genocide Is Bad then we should not be afraid to say We Think Genocide Is Bad#and we can also say We Think Antisemitism Is Bad because SHOCK FUCKING HORROR not all Jews represent the State of Israel#in fact basically none of them do#anyway whatever the fuck happened to plain speaking i wanna know#when in history have the faction of Quakers who wanted to never upset anyone been the drivers of change?#wasn't the Quakers going 'obviously we are anti slavery but we shouldn't SAY that in case we upset White People' who we remember positively#they're also changing dates on a lecture Corbyn was due to give in order to avoid accusations of antisemitism#to which i have GOT to ask. 5 months into a genocide and we're STILL giving credence to the idea that criticising Israel is antisemitism?#i will scream until my lungs pop
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liazrad · 4 months
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GRRRRR I HATE IT HERE I HATE LIVING WITH MY DAD AND STEPMOM IT'S THE WORST!!!!! I AM FUCKING MISERABLE.
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usedtobecooler · 2 years
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matty healy is basically just modern day rockstar!eddie and no i won’t be elaborating on it it’s just a fact 🫡
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lockawayknight · 1 year
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[|87
#been burdening my friends and partner too much with bitching about life but talking abt it makes me feel better so. i’m here.#new job is awful. but in a weird way.#i’m learning things and love my coworkers and the location and clients and work itself#but my boss is. my god.#it’s a little local place owned by one woman operated from inside her extra home on her property#she runs everything#and she is nice but she is??? loud ig. abusively loud#she screams and cusses and berates and belittles everyone and like#they all think it’s silly. it’s just her personality. they laugh or shrug it off. it’s just how she is. but i can’t do it#every day i tear up or cry on the way home cus she raises her voice at me or i hear her cussing and screaming in the back about like#me fucking up. over silly things. like i took a message for her but didnt say it was urgent.#then i hear her in the back HOW COULD SHE FUCK UP LIKE THIS SHE SHOULD KNOW THIS SHIT THIS IS SUCH SIMPLE SHIT WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH HER#and i just cant handle it man!!!#and she is so nice and supportive and texts me almost every night to ask how i am and if i’m okay#and like fuck dude i guess?????? but im also!!!!! not!!!!!!!!#my partner and mom both said i should quit and i think im. gonna.#the other place that wanted me is still hiring. i’m gonna talk to them monday and see if i can take that job still#but fuck dude. i dont wanna tell my boss im leaving. i dont think she’ll blow up but if she does?????#idk#i just hate that things aren’t getting better. i dunno. i just wanna cry and sleep all day#hopefully i get the other job and my boss understands. we’ll see.#thanks for reading
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nerosdayinanime · 11 months
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wanna make my own kny httyd au
#httyd movies are good but. theyre kid plots yk?#not a bad thing but i wanna use the wolrdbuilding more. like cmon its fucking DRAGONS man#so far giyuu & tsutako live in a little seaside village that regularly gets raided by dragons mostly stealing their livestock (and anyone#caught in surprise undefended) one night hes out doing errands he forgot to do during the day (doesnt want to dissapoint tsutako)#and gets caught out in a raid. hes running for cover and comes across a juvenile dragon. hes scared shitless and frozen as it creeps closer#and closer until he can feel its hot breath sniffing at him. curious purple eyes stare into his own. a loud fireball explodes near them#and the dragon nudges him away from the carnage. tsutako sees a dragon near him and flips her shit. ready to die trying to keep#her baby brother alive. he screams at her to stop- shoving the dragon away as she screams for him to get away from it#dragon flees and tsutako drags him home stressed out her gourd but thankful hes alive.#later on hes out walking in the woods to get away from it all (the other kids dont like him very much) and comes across the dragon again#he ends up making friends with it and names it sabito ('rust' for his orange-red coloration & 'rabbit' for the little hops he does)#comes across all the little dragon quirks as he hangs out- meanwhile back in the village they need more warriors to fight off the dragons#giyuu gets forced into training for it despite his (& tsutako's) protests. time comes to training against actual dragons and he miraculousl#survives using his knowledge of quirks hes learned from sabito- it astonishes /everyone/ bc hes a wimpy little fuck#yadda yadda he accidentally becomes top student just trying to avoid actually hurting the dragons and gets assigned to kill the Big Bad One#they release the beast and it crawls around the top chain netting for a bit before it notices giyuu. it drops to the floor and slowly#advances towards him. giyuu intentionally drops his weapon & shield and steps towards it with big wet scared eyes. everyone's shocked and#tsutakos screaming for them to call it off. the dragon stops posturing and sniffs at him- lets him gently pet its nose. he quietly pleads#with it to go back into its cell as guards are hurrying to get into the arena with them. the dragon looks around at them & at the sky befor#looking back at giyuu's sad eyes promising theyll both be safer if it goes back in. it hesitantly does so and giyuu locks the doors back as#the guards get to him and drag him to the village leader's hall to get the scolding of his life#he tries to reason with them that the dragons arent bad but they hit back with 'so what are we supposed to do boy. starve as we let the#dragons take all of our food? grow up. /we cant live in harmony with them.'/#hes fucked up over it & everyone starts treating him as even more of an outcast than before.#one night while tsutako's doing dishes 'tako-nee?' quietly called out. 'what giyuu?' she doesnt even turn to glance at him.#she /always/ stops to give her full attention when he calls for her like that. his heart sinks to the floor. 'goodnight' barely keeping#the crack of his voice away. 'goodnight giyuu'#she awakes the next morning to no response. an empty house. she finds a red shirt of hers missing & a note#giyuu's neat writing shakey & slowly delving into a messy scrawl as it furthers along. one- two odd dried spots on the letters turned to#countless (/27/) blotches in the ink before it fully dried. 'im sorry' left pristine atop the worst of it at the very bottom.
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lesbianjackkline · 11 months
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wanna make a big post about the parallels between spn and frailty (2002), but first of all, effort, and second of all, i think i might lose my mind before i actually finish it, but alright
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bowtix · 2 years
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How do I end healthy friendships?
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judasofsuburbia · 2 years
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i'm so stuck with this new easy chapter
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