#that senior and my boss
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#so now again I won't be able to present the best part of my work#and someone else (my boss) will present it and get the credits#this already happened two years back once#when one of my seniors presented the best part of my work until then#and got an international award for it#and my boss made him the first author of a paper based on that work as well#and now I'm being asked to just present some old leftovers while my boss presents the best and most recent part of my work#like bro if I made the samples did the experiments and measurements and the calculations and analysis#the least you could do is not present that work as you own in an international forum#when I indirectly hinted to my boss today that there's nothing new or worthwhile in the part that I'm presenting#I got told Oh don't worry about it... You're just complicating things by thinking too much#Like already everybody in my field now already recognises that senior I mentioned before#because of my work that he presented and got a top award for#and everybody associated him with that work instead of me#not even counting the fact that he had already been made the first author of the paper on my work#so I get no credits in any way possible#i fucking wanna scream at them both#that senior and my boss#but I can't risk antagonizing them even slightly#or I can say goodbye to my career#I wish I wasn't so acquiescent and passive and shy and risk averse#and even if I present that work this time#it's unlikely I'll get awarded no matter how good the presentation#because they're unlikely to award someone from the same group twice#it just makes me feel so hurt and bitter and wish I was never born#and I feel everything bitter about myself the way I am where I'm currently and that my loved ones deserve someone better than me#I hate everything about this and myself
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They both work as ads planner, are objectively very capable in their jobs, and have produced huge ads that move hearts. Like to wear pink shirts. If they work at the same company but in different departments/sections, imagine how much mental stress can be healed in their office gathering...
#same soothing energy#these two really should meet!#Shirosaki gonna join the doji club and be the senior#cool doji danshi#mima takayuki#my new boss is goofy#shirosaki yuusei#play it cool guys#anime#manga#atarashii joushi wa do tennen
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watched a little too much 25 21 this week and @mundanememory’s matteo/jonas got me badddddd
The closet smells like dust and Lysol. It clashes against the gentle bergamot and wood of Jonas’s cologne, Matteo’s favorite of his small set.
“You haven’t worn this one in a while,” He whispers, his voice reflecting in hot breath against Jonas’s cheek. “It’s nice.”
“Mm,” The other man acknowledges. He pulls Matteo in by the waist, further response neglected. Matteo, as usual, let’s him take the lead. Jonas kisses unhurried, moving as if down a familiar road. Soft, casual. Matteo has to be careful to not seem clumsy in comparison– against Jonas’s steady, contained calm it’s hard not to feel gangly, limbs and want spilling out of him like he’s overflowing.
He’s making a conscious effort not to melt too much into the way Jonas drapes his arms around him, carefully monitoring the electricity sparking in his chest as the lovely warmth of the blond’s tongue darts into his mouth. It’s practically routine, but his face still flushes from the way his heart races as Jonas slides a hand up his sweater. Matteo runs hot– Jonas is chronically cold. He’s pictured holding his slender fingers in his own until they reach an equilibrium a frankly embarrassing number of times— an image he distracts himself from by trailing down Jonas’s neck in a tentative kisses, which really doesn’t do much to help. He has to remind himself that they do this in a custodial closet for a reason, sometimes. The ring that bites into his shoulder is a silent reprimand, coaxing him away from the more domestic of his fantasies.
He has to lean down a little for this, and he cups his hands around Jonas’s jaw as he licks softly at the delicate skin of the smaller man’s throat. They both know what comes next– Matteo undoes the metal clasp and zipper of Jonas’s navy blue dress pants in practiced motions and drops to his knees against the rough carpet.
“Wait,” Jonas interrupts, straying from their typical script of wordlessness. Matteo pauses, looks up. “I’m live soon.”
It’s not refusal so much as a warning. He dares a smile. “Okay, boss.”
He works quicker from there, wasting less time with his typical frivolities as he pulls down the elastic waistband of Jonas’s boxers. Jonas is halfway there, and it doesn’t take much work to get him fully hard as Matteo strokes him with a hand blushing at the knuckles. Jonas exhales sharp and long through his nose as Matteo takes him between his lips and begins his ritual. It’s a clandestine dance, both of them practiced at keeping pleasure quiet. Jonas has a hand thrown over his eyes, breathing controlled, steadily regulating the reactions of his body in a way that seems almost natural, thoughtless. It would make Matteo envious if room for such emotion wasn’t taken by reverence.
He works his tongue into the hot salt of Jonas’s dick heavy in his mouth, chasing after the way he bucks his hips forward in seeking for more– of which he is eager to give. His head buzzes with thrill as he hears Jonas’s breaths grow shakier in suppression of the more crude sounds behind his lips. The world shrinks down to just the two of them when they’re together. The rush in his veins is fueled solely by Jonas; his body, his pleasure, his praise. He could ride the high that he gets as Jonas fucks into his mouth and comes with an escaped moan for days. He waits a moment before swallowing and wiping his lips, entranced by the way Jonas’s golden curls fall back into place as he runs a hand through his hair.
Jonas zips up his dark pants. The simple gold of his wedding band flashes in the drifts of light that seep through the cracks in the door. Matteo brings his gaze away and back up to Jonas’s face.
Jonas looks Matteo up and down as he gets up from his place on the ground. “You wore the green tie,” he notes.
“Oh, yeah. People said it looked nice last Friday.” By people, he means Jonas. He was hoping he’d notice again, a little.
“It looks good with your hair,” Jonas says, which makes Matteo have to smother a grin. “Trine told me first. It’s her favorite color. She knows more about what goes with what than I do,” He laughs.
“Oh,” Matteo smiles, a little forced. He remembers his own stilted words clashing against Jonas’s relaxed introductions between the three of them. He likes Trine, really.
“Ah, I’m on in a few minutes.” Jonas taps on his watch screen. “I’ll see you later, hm?”
“Right, yeah. Good luck live, eh, boss?” They both know he doesn’t need it, but Jonas smiles back anyways. He steps out casually, as if exiting any other meeting room. That evening, they’ll see each other at another team dinner and say nothing. Jonas, at least, is very good at pretending. All Matteo does is follow his lead.
#recently been very taken by embarrassingly in love x doesn’t take this that seriously. matteo wants to elope and to jonas this is thursday#coping by calling him boss possibly the most unsexy thing on earth :///#also introducing your long term partner to the person you’re cheating with like 😄😄😄#yeah matteo can Play It Cool he’ll do whatever jonas wants!!! he’s fine about all this for real#ok but i was watching 25 21 as usual and like what if baek yi jin was fucking his boss lmao 😭😭#visions of trainee x senior reporter introducing the younger to a new environment… they’re guiding them through it and watching them begin#to flourish and of course hiding in the closet for a bj. EMBARRASSINGGGGGGGGGG#yeah but. gotta send them on a Business Trip for real lmao#matteo jorgenson#jonas vingegaard#my fic#cycling#also jonas owns 7 of the same pair of pants just all in different colors
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as of ten minutes ago we are officially Jobless™️. my sign to retire early and devote the remainder of my existence to writing toxic old man yaoi
#pennforyourthoughts#personal#someone rb this with silly tags i feel it deserves some levity#warning: novel-length tags lmfao#THEY TOLD ME TODAY MY LAST DAY IS FRIDAY? that's only two whole workdays for me HELLO??#knew it was coming bc they let my friend go two weeks ago and he had more seniority than me but jfc#at least let me ride out the contract till november. WHY. i JUST went back to uni i need money goddamn it#full disclosure tho i haven't been able to stop laughing bc so much of the surrounding circumstances are insanely funny to me#1) i was LITERALLY at a job fair yesterday and I almost considered not going bc I was so damn tired#surprisingly made some really great connections so ty universe now i have people to poke in the coming months#2) i switched from part time to ft course load at the last second and have been regretting it ever since but if im to be unemployed then#MAYBE now I can actually handle the uni workload :D#3) when my boss called me she asked how ive been and i told her i was sooo sick last week and got into a car accident#that same day omw back from uni (universal karma for skipping class for my health ig)#THE WAY SHE PAUSED ON CALL IS SO FUNNY IN RETROSPECT. was prolly thinking fuck. now i have to add to this#she literally went “omg im so sorry...anyways i have bad news”#im not even lying when i say i was GIGGLING through that whole call she was so concerned#love her bc she genuinely tried to fight for me and is the reason i wasn't let go two weeks ago but man. the timing is impeccable#also don't think i get any unemployment benefits bc i was temp contract and my situation as a whole is a bit complicated so YAY :DDD#the way i ran to my bestie to spill the tea & we're over here like 🤝 fired buddies 🤝 time to speed run job interviews while juggling uni
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okay sooooooo I somehow got my hands on the cheese dispenser manual and apparently we're not following proper maintenance protocol as detailed in the instructions (like with so many of the machines at work tbh. WHY IS NO ONE READING THE DAMN INSTRUCTIONS)
and apparently the part of the machines that's giving us trouble is supposed to be removed, thoroughly cleaned and reattached at least once a week???? and idk if we've got a dedicated educated worker doing that in secret or if no one's read the manual and no one's actually done the proper cleaning routine ever????? uhhhhh
don't wanna be a disruptive force at work on purpose (at least not more than I am on accident sometimes oops) but I would looove to print out the manual and ask the managers about that weekly maintenance passage ngl
but the incessant need to FIND SOLUTIONS AND FIX THINGS AND DO THINGS THE PROPER WAY AND MAKE THINGS BETTER FOR EVERYONE GRRRRR
(also apparently there's kinda hidden air vents on the dispenser that need to be cleaned weekly as well???? and idk if that gets done either???? HELP?????)
#sorry. for the cheese saga. it continues.#also sorry to be cynical but if no one's following proper maintenance protocol on expensive machinery then of course things break regularly#and that's not on the staff tbh#we just do what we're told and trained to do by the more senior employees and the higher ups#it's not our fault if things break???? ugh idk it's all just a mess of half broken barely working machines and many short lived quick fixes#also kinda mad on behalf of my emotional support coworker who has to do all the quick fixes and isn't even really trained in any of it.#my weird anger at these small stupid injustices is snapping and barking and biting!!!!!!! ugh#but i can't say anything. because the boss is pissed at all of the staff for not properly operating the equipment and breaking things idk#ugh ugh ugh
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#ive been on the grind at work for the past month and a half to make sure they would keep MY intern#we had a disastrous string of interns recently. like DISASTROUS the last one did criminal shit lol.#and we've got two at the same time and they keep being like “UGH WE CANT KEEP THE TWO FINANCIALLY” even tho. they can.#and they were seriously planning to replace two senior positions with ONE intern. anyways whatever#my boss started HATING my intern on DAY ONE for no fucking reason. and kept trying to get us to shittalk her basically.#and the other intern is a bootlicker so i was sure they would just keep her and kick out my intern. which doesnt even matter bc we need bot#so i started spreading rumors about how this and that person were gonna quit if they didnt keep the interns bc of the workload#and i got everyone to lie on the evaluation grids we have to give back for the interns#and as a last ditch effort started talking to a manager about how i had proof the boss had a personal vendetta against her#bc several ex employees went to court against my boss and shes terrified of it happening again#and WELL they're keeping my intern ^_^#SO YIPPEE MY JOB HERE IS DONE. IT'S NOT HONEST WORK BUT IT'S HARD WORK.#rambling
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sometimes it really frustrates me that i'm not the smartest trans journalist in this city and i keep having to go to other people for help especially when doing sensitivity reads of cis people's commentaries
#in both instances this has happened someone else pointed it out#the use of 'biological intervention' in this piece#which my ex-boss pointed out#and the innocent use of 'transgenderism' by a leading editor at the domestic newspaper#which my senior pointed out#i'm supposed to be able to proofread cis folk! but like. ugh
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When I was at that conference I went to a session with my manager (who is only a bit older than me and maybe has a year or two more of career experience) and the speaker asked audience members to raise their hands if they considered themselves early career (I raised my hand) and who was mid career (she raised her hand). And I kind of keep thinking about that. Bc I know she’s under 30 and has probably like 5-6 years of career experience? Which to me feels objectively early career if we’re all presumably working until around 60! I don’t have a real point with this just that it got me thinking about how we perceive careers and the kind of sunk cost around the path we set ourselves on after a working few roles in a field when those of us in the 20s/30s bracket still have decades left to be doing different things
#not saying my boss is experiencing this it’s just where my mind has been lately#also bc there was some marketing exec on my LinkedIn who’s as complaining about people with 3-5 years in a field thinking they have senior#level qualifications#and someone in the comments raising the very interesting point that ageism in hiring is often deprioritizing industry experience#particularly in jobs like marketing that skew female#no big point just ruminating on it
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i love my sister and for the most part, we are very close and genuinely like each other a lot but the one place where i'd just really, really, really like to see inside her brain is the part where she is still incredibly comfortable and cheerful—and even thinks it's really funny—talking about how much she didn't like me as a child while I'm like. yes. I am and was aware. and it sucked so so so much
#we had a really wild moment over dinner last week where she actually acknowledged#EXPLICITLY with her OWN WORDS#that things like our brother dying right when i was going into my senior yr of high school#and covid lockdown starting right when i'd graduated college + moved to a new city where i knew no one except her + was applying/auditionin#for jobs#were harder on me than one her in some unique ways#and i was literally like . is. is this a test? am i supposed to deny it?#bc like when our brother died she told me i was a selfish brat (for not grieving the way she did)#and during covid she told me (right after i got laid off) that she had ''way more reasons to be depressed'' than i did#personal#anyway she was laughing so much as she said this (abt not liking me) and i was just staring at her nodding slightly like#yeah. i know. i know you didn't like me#do YOU know how much it sucks to know that your older sister--whom you idolize--who you *desperately* want to like you--#not only doesn't like you at all#but even up into high school/college#would talk about how she couldn't wait till our LITTLE (five year old) cousins were old enough to hang because they'd be so much fun#and know that she had absolutely never thought or said that about you#do you perhaps! think that might still have ramifications on our relationship to this day#if your little sister spent 20+ years knowing that your love was conditional on them being the person you wanted her to be#like. do u???#(the answer is no of course but#i remain boggled by the fact that this eludes her considering she is! in fact! a really smart person!)#it's also like when i was first offered my current job#and our now bosses asked both of us like ''are you worried at all about working with your sister?''#and she laughed like lol no of course not?#while i was like ''honestly yes.'' adskjfglkjasds#very different perspectives sometimes
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BLA Awards 2023 Breakthrough Actor of the Year Nominees
Bright Rapheephong Thapsuwan (I Feel You Linger in the Air, Scent of Memory)
Chun Pachchun Hiranprateep (Naughty Babe, Our Skyy 2: Vice Versa)
Hymn Elisha Triwiwatkul (Bed Friend, Step by Step, Playboyy)
Jericho Del Rosario (My Story, Tie The Not, Our Story)
Junior Chokkorn Deotrakul (My Universe: Right Time, Right You, My Universe: You Are My So(ul) Mate, My Universe: Friends Forever)
Nonkul Chanon Santinatornkul (I Feel You Linger in the Air, Scent of Memory)
Ohm Thipakorn Thitathan (A Boss and a Babe, Our Skyy 2: A Boss and a Babe, Last Twilight)
Pure Napolpong Sooksombut (Hit Bite Love, My Universe: Friends Forever)
Shell Thakrit Chaiwut (Step by Step, Middleman's Love, Playboyy, The Sign, Bed Friend)
Tang-oh Nattawat Trisomboon (Hit Bite Love, Senior Love Me?, Senior Love Me? Season 2)
#BLA Awards 2023#Breakthrough Actor of the Year#Bright Rapheephong Thapsuwan#Chun Pachchun Hiranprateep#Hymn Elisha Triwiwatkul#Jericho Del Rosario#Junior Chokkorn Deotrakul#Nonkul Chanon Santinatornkul#Ohm Thipakorn Thitathan#Pure Napolpong Sooksombut#Shell Thakrit Chaiwut#Tang-oh Nattawat Trisomboon#i feel you linger in the air#scent of memory#naughty babe the series#our skyy 2#bed friend the series#step by step#playboyy the series#my story#tie the not#our story#my universe#last twilight the series#a boss and a babe#hit bite love#middleman's love#the sign the series#senior love me
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The 7 evil exes of André Madiot
#man who keeps sleeping with people who will fuck him up: wow why am i getting worse?#he dated them all before hitting 30#the bully and the girl were his age when dating. the rival was 6 years older. the rest were 15+ years older#the brother is juliette(girl)'s older brother. yeah.#the prof was his senior year math teacher. the boss is the owner of the autoshop he works at. the rival is his opponent underground fighter#my art#fennec.art#fennec.origin
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Why do I get anxious about things I should technically be happy for? I just applied for a dream job (or at least it will be a dream job if I can confirm it's possible to extend the contract length), and it seems that the turnaround for interviews/getting hired will be very fast if I do get selected. I do think I have a decent chance of getting selected. I have been increasingly tired of my current role for a while now and I'm very much ready for something new. Yet the thought of handing in my resignation to my manager makes me want to vomit.
#personal#whining#i mean i do know why#everyone at my job is very nice and i get along well with my manager#i also know how constantly busy my team is and that having to replace a senior person will impact them#also my boss is going away for almost a month soon which is not great timing + i feel guilty for asking about progression recently (just to#there is a part of me that really wishes this opportunity came along slightly later but what can you do#also this is fully me putting my cart before my horse#let me see first whether i do get the job (not even remotely guaranteed i can imagine this being a quite competetive position)#and whether or not the contract can actually be extended since i'm not leaving my job for a short term thing#there you go i almost talked myself into being calm again#go me!
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so a little backstory, in real life I call everyone 'bud'. I don't know when this started, but it's deeply ingrained.
Anyone I consider a friend? Bud. Someone around the same age as me? Bud. Literally anyone younger? Bud.
Found out today that my boss' daughter thought we didn't get along because I call her bud instead of her name. (When I told my boss I'd call their daughter by her name, they said no I have to call her bud now because it's been explained that that's just how I am)
Anyway, imagining Steve calling the different members of the party 'sport' or 'chief' or something and someone (Will) is finally like, "Man Steve must hate me because he only refers to me as sport instead of my name" and Dustin (or Max) immediately bursts out laughing and explains the WHY behind it
Will is suddenly way more receptive to the awkward starts in conversation from Steve and the two actually end up being really close.
#stranger things#head canon#based on my real life#also found out that my boss' husband was like#“but she never calls me bud”#like my friend#you are my senior#you cannot be bud#sorry
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My boss has such a reactive style of management and its caused us to lose so many talented and motivated people over the years to policies that appear strict and immutable until something happens that’s bug enough that the policy gets changed and its frustrating to watch.
#like we had a guy who asked to move to London to live with his gf and my boss said no so the guy quit#then the same thing happened but with a senior engineer so he said yes#i get a job offer for 50% more pay and a seniorship but they won’t budge on pay so i quit#now i find out they’re going to replace me with a senior with similiar age and experience#so instead of giving me a payrise to the market rate they’re going to pay through the nose to get a senior at market rate#and then spend 6 months getting him up to speed with the company
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Things I did to prepare for Key:
brought my laptop to work
put on a movie for one of my classes so I could download the game
-movie was rated R, there were so many tits in my classroom, absolute fuckup
made another class watch a video on youtube and reflect on it, told them I was grading videos from seniors
-put in headphones and started playing the game while 'teaching'
continued playing the game while one of my classes was testing
-pretty sure someone cheated, did not have capacity to care - had already caught someone that morning, didn't want to go through the process again
-lied to them about grading senior papers too
breakfast for dinner
gave my next day's first, third, and fifth periods to a coworker (I didn't have 2nd or 3rd)
fell asleep at work today
(continued to let my class watch the rated R movie so I could actually grade the papers I was supposedly grading before)
#Key#don't tell my boss how badly I halfassed these past couple of days#because from his perspective I'm still pretty on top of things - at least compared to him#he asked to speak with me at the end of the day and I thought a parent had complained about the movie#no - he apologised for not being on top of something I had e-mailed about earlier this week and wanted to check in on it#every time I worry I'm bad at my job there is someone doing a worse job that makes me feel better about myself#I'll eventually post more about the game itself#but I actually do need to get my senior stuff done cause they graduate on Sunday#though I did get my last kid to passing today#now all of my seniors will pass my classes#idk about their others#except for one of them - that has three kids - my seniors needed to pass my classes for graduation#my freshies are not all going to pass#but it's on them#because if you turn in the classwork - even if tests aren't your thing - you will pass#I had a kid last year who will not be earning a diploma and literally cannot read who passed my class#because all you need to do is turn in the fucking work - even if you're getting 30s on tests and your work is crap - just complete it#thanks for reading my rambles this far - I promise I do care so much for my kids#just irritated with a few right now#(before you come for me - I accept late work for partial credit#until the last day of class which is more lenient than the school's policy)
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oh boy the depression hole is deep and it is muddy
hahaha I fell into the classic trap! overidentify with your job and considering leaving it will trigger an existential crisis!!!!
#red said#i think it's really fucking happening#i got lunch with my work bff yesterday. she's seriously looking for her next thing.#2 other people in our 9 man team have told me in confidence they're looking elsewhere as well#the work bff is a team manager and she's like yeah I'm helping everyone buff up their CVs and think about what they want#and i. do not think my boss is coming back.#she's extended her mat leave by 2 months already. i think she stepped away and realised. rightly. there's more to life than this shit.#it's not that the organisation is downsizing or any of us are in danger of redundancy#but the vibe has changed big time. it's so much more corporate and less interested in lived experience.#i think the proportion of people in senior management who have even second hand experience with homelessness is shrinking#like the last time our CEO did frontline work was like 1990. and they're expanding the management team constantly#but they're all outside hires and not people who've done frontline or community work. they're the career charity worker types.#the only things keeping me are. i want to at least get to that initial union open meeting and get the ball rolling enough#that it might have a cat's chance in hell of happening without me#and i want to get gears turning in the EDI group to get a commitment a) to acknowledge that we have a whiteness problem#and b) i want to use the funding for LGBTQ inclusion work to kickstart a project where we convene a cross-sector working group#maybe quarterly. where people working in homelessness and social support can discuss best practise for trans inclusivity#in one of the sectors where trans people are most disadvantaged in seeking support#but like if i can get movement on those things I'm fucking gone. cause the bits of my job that are my actual job?#i am getting nothing out of it now
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