#he asked to speak with me at the end of the day and I thought a parent had complained about the movie

[apatheticsunday]

Fatherless Behavior

AKA "Danny Fenton is actually Batman and Catwoman's son. He likes his bio mother a lot more than his billionaire furry bio father, and Bruce is just trying to be a good dad to another surprise kid" prompt idea!

I like the idea of Madeline and Jack Fenton being good parents who love their kids so much. Maybe Danny still got zapped by the ecto-portal and died, but he immediately went to his parents and they helped him adjust to being Half-Dead. So, obviously, if he's old enough to die, he's old enough to be told the truth. Maddy and Jack adopted Danny from a woman named Selina Kyle, who's contact information state she's in Gotham City and willing to re-connect with Danny when/if he's comfortable.

Maybe Danny says he's okay, doesn't need to know who his biological parents are, because Maddy and Jack are enough for him. But it's also okay to be curious, right? He's like... seventeen or eighteen at this point. So, he says he's going to tour Gotham-U and maybe, possibly hunt down his birth mother if he has some extra time.

Fast forward to him standing in front of a very posh apartment complex, the doorman refusing to let him in, and he's incredibly embarrassed. There's an older couple coming out the doors. The older man looks like he's going to walk over, possibly intervene, so Danny just begs asks the doorman, "Can you please just call Selina Kyle? I'm her son."

And Bruce, who's having date-night with Selina, nearly passes out. Because under the bright lights of Selina's apartment lobby, this kid looks exactly like the perfect mix of Bruce and Selina. He's got his father's unruly black hair, Selina's catlike blue eyes, and has several dark freckles on his neck like Damian. So... this is a Not Great situation because Selina had a kid behind his back?? Selina's gripping his wrist like a panther with an antelope's jugular and says, "Not in front of the child, Bruce." And if there's one thing Batman is good at, it's keeping his cool (or pretending to).

They all end up in Batburger with Selina and Bruce looking comically overdressed while Danny's in ripped jeans and a NASA hoodie.

Selina is kind. She got pregnant and then Bruce was presumed dead (Batman's Time Stream incident lasted how long?? I feel like 9 months is reasonable, right?), and she wasn't prepared to be a single mother. She also hadn't wanted Danny to have a criminal for a mother ("Wait, what??"), but didn't feel comfortable aborting.

"Our relationship can be whatever you want it to be, Danny. I'm not trying to replace your mom. I'm just here to help if you want." She doesn't try to touch him, doesn't treat him like a kid, just speaks calmly and respectfully to him.

Bruce, unfortunately, isn't as tactful. He begins with: "And I have an extra room in the Wayne Manor. I can pay for your tuition at Gotham-U, get you a job at Wayne Enterprise, and introduce you to my kids. Tim would like you, you're about the same age-" before Selina shoves an elbow into his side. The damage is already done, though. Danny practically shoves from the table (after slipping two Batburgers into his hoodie pocket since clearly Mr. Money-Bags can afford it, the presumptuous asshole).

"I came here to talk with my mother, Mr. Wayne. I don't want your money or to be a nepo baby at your company." Danny snarls a sarcastic little thanks before hauling ass to his hotel, muttering about rude-ass rich folk.

(Selina, still at the diner with Bruce: Look at what you've done! You've scared our son off!

Bruce: Maybe if you told me I had a son, I could've been more prepared for a surprise visit!

Selina: Maybe if you stayed dead like everybody thought you were, you wouldn't be surprised that I had a son. You weren't there!

A squeaky noise can be heard. It's a waitress trying to quietly write on a whiteboard that says "Days Without a Wayne Argument". The tally is changed from 4 to 0.)

Anyway, I want Selina to be more like a Cool Aunt instead of a mom. She gets that Danny already has a maternal figure in his life, doesn't really want someone Mother Henning him, so she becomes a safe space for him to let go. Watches the Neil deGrasse Tyson docuseries, offers him wine during girl's nights, lets him rant about how unsure he is of the future without giving unsolicited advice.

Danny pretty much sees Bruce and is like, it's on sight, old man. Bruce sends an expensive telescope to his house. It gets sent back with a book that says "How to Know When to Give Up: For Dummies". Bruce tries to catch Danny while going to Selina's apartment and Danny screams stranger danger so loudly that Bruce is momentarily worried he accidentally accosted the wrong teenager. Danny makes a comment about "another billionaire frootloop wanting to keep me in his basement" and Bruce is even more concerned now. He responds with, "Daniel, I would not keep you in my basement." Yeah... that definitely didn't help.

Oddly enough, Danny is now also being harassed by Batman and his Bat Cult.

[pagerunner-j]

(Apologies for the rant you're about to get, OP...)

As with all Moffatisms, sometimes, under particular circumstances, I guess maybe it's true.

But the day I was in my father's room in hospice watching his feet turn black as his organs failed and he was so weak he could barely speak except to beg us to let him die?

That actually was the worst part.

Or when I got a call at 3 in the morning to tell me my mother was dead, I was alone in the dark, disoriented, emotional, stumbling and crying through trying to ask what to do, and all the person on the other end of the line would talk about was chopping her up for spare parts?

Yeah, that was terrible too.

Missing people sucks. But if you ask somebody what the worst day of their life was, chances are they're not gonna tell you, "it was a random Tuesday when I thought about visiting Grandma when I was seven and then I felt sad because she's been dead for ten years."

The actual fucking trauma was the worst day, thank you. End of.

Do you have any idea how much psychic damage I got when the Twelfth Doctor said, "The day you lose someone isn't the worst. It's all the days they stay dead." Do you have any idea. I need to be fucking sedated.

[moonstruckme]

Hey Mae, you wrote a Spencer smut blurb a while ago about him helping reader speak up in the bedroom and at the end it mentions him using his handcuffs on reader. Just wondering if you would write a followup to that heheh 🌚

Thank you for requesting babe ;)

cw: smut mdni, bondage, slighttttt dom spencer but not really it's a collaborative effort haha

Spencer Reid x afab!reader ♡ 652 words

You make an involuntary whimpering sound. 

Spencer lifts his head to look at you. “You okay?” 

“Y…yeah.” 

“Are you sure?” 

“Very sure.” 

Your boyfriend’s look softens. “Okay. Try not to sound so distressed, please? It makes me think you’re not having fun.” 

“Sorry.” You want to tell him that you’re not having fun, but you are, really. The bite of metal into your wrists is a welcome, if frustrating, restraint. 

“You don’t have to be sorry, sweetheart,” Spencer assures you, voice turning slow as he lowers his lips back to your shoulder. The brush of his knuckles against your inner thigh is enough to make another whimper rise in your throat. 

The handcuffs were your idea. You don’t think bringing work into the bedroom would have ever crossed Spencer’s mind, but your stomach had flipped excitedly when he’d locked them over your wrists. He was careful not to make them too tight, told you to say something if they started to rub your skin wrong, but you sort of enjoy the pressure of them each time you tug against the bed frame. 

Spencer’s curiosity is just as fervid in the bedroom as it is out. He takes his time with you, cataloguing each movement and sound. Your breath hitches, and he tilts his head, an academic. Scientific fingers explore every curve and bend. 

You’re seeping arousal from between your folds before he even gets there. 

“Spence,” you plead.

“Hm?” 

“Can you just—” You can’t say it. You know Spencer appreciates plain language, but you can’t make yourself. You push your hips up, hoping he gets the hint. 

He does. He smiles, the asshole. “Can you be patient? I’m getting there.” 

“Today?” 

“Okay, fine.” Spencer laughs as he pushes two fingers into you, their path slick and easy. You gasp in surprise. “Is this what you want?” 

“Please.” 

“I told you I was getting to it.” His voice gentles. He touches his lips to the side of your throat, fingers moving slowly in and out of you. Curling. Gently, so gently. “You know you do better when we build up to it.” 

You almost miss the days when Spencer was still shy around you. When sex made him nervous, when he didn’t know your body quite so well or feel so confident in how to make you tick. 

He’s right, of course. 

“I’m—ahh…”

“Yeah, I know.” Spencer kisses the flat of your chest. Doubtless feeling your erratic heartbeat. “You never like it when it’s happening, but you’re happy afterward. You’ll thank me.” 

It’s not violent, your undoing; Spencer takes you apart gently, with careful fingers, and then swallows the cry that escapes you like it’s his favorite flavor. 

Your wrists are lined with agitated circlets when he pushes into you. You’re well worked open by then. Time is lost to you. You gasp and roll your hips, desperate to grab him, your fists curling around nothing. 

“Hey.” Spencer’s thumb presses over your pulse, a barrier between you and the cuff. “Relax. Be careful with yourself.” 

His lips are parted, pupils blown but eyes soft with concern. You love him. It’s not the first time you’ve thought it, it wouldn’t be the first time you’ve said it, but suddenly you feel it achingly, urgently, tearily. You love him you love him you love him. 

“Come here,” you beg him in as nice a voice as you can. 

Spencer listens, because he always listens to you, really, even when you’re all tied up and helpless and probably a little delirious. His mouth covers yours with reassuring warmth. 

“Still okay?” he asks, just to be sure. 

“Yes.” You press towards him, kissing his chin, his jaw, his sweaty cupid’s bow. “Oh my god, yes.” 

“Okay.” Spencer links his fingers through yours. Pushing you back, but staying close to you. You shudder at the contact. “We’re okay.” 

“Just stay here, please.” 

“Where do you think I would go?” 

[urcoolgf]

what’s your deal? pt. 5

pairing : childhood bsf!rafe x reader

content : fluff. suggestive content/thoughts kinda. language.

summary : unable to control his emotions any longer, rafe addresses you– and secrets are revealed p.s. ignore that the pic is curtain bangs rafe. he is very much buzz cut rafe in this series, that’s just the expression i was trying to convey in this part

SERIES MASTERLIST

you ended up being able to spend the rest of the day with enzo, finally departing from each other around 10pm. your dad texted you saying he had gotten back from fishing around 8pm, so he wasn’t particularly upset with you for coming back late– he knew who you were with.

you and rafe hadn’t spoken since the brief interaction at the restaurant. you figured he was pissed, but you were tired of apologizing, and you were tired of his tantrums. you didn’t even care about the girl he was with earlier– it was only fair since you had enzo. plus, he wasn’t yours, no matter how much he wanted to act like it.

finally being able to change out of your clothes felt like bliss after the long day you had. you decided to take a quick shower just to wash all the ‘beach’ off of you. once you stepped in, the warm water cascaded down your back causing you to shiver even in the heat.

you didn’t bother to grab any clothes because the bathroom was attached to your room. you would just change once you were back in your bedroom. plus, it was easier to tend to your hair before putting any clothes on anyway.

the sound of the diffuser echoed through the bathroom– that, and the loud music playing off your phone. so loud, in fact, that you didn’t hear the clicking of your bedroom door opening, and closing. so, once you had finished with your hair, you opened the bathroom door, walking into your bedroom. you stood there, almost in a state of shock once you saw rafe, sitting at the side of your bed. he was biting his nails as if he was going insane, looking down at the ground in front of him. his head snapped up to turn to you– what he didn’t expect was for you to be completely naked.

his once preoccupied mind, was now suddenly blank– or rather, preoccupied with the image of you. all of you stood before him, and he wasn’t sure he could bare to ever see you with clothes on again. his eyes raked your body, your curves. you, on the other hand, quickly reached for the t-shirt on your dresser, pulling it over your head. you grabbed the bottom, trying to stretch it to cover the tops of your thighs. it worked– but your ass was still exposed, and rafe hated that you were facing him right now. your brain was finally in a state to speak.

“shit! rafe… what the fuck are you doing in here?!,” you yelped, still holding the hem of your shirt past your thighs. even in the dimly lit room you could feel rafe’s eyes on you. you were desperate to cover what laid beneath, and rafe was desperate to uncover it. he hated that t-shirt right now.

rafe shook himself out of his current thoughts, trying to remember what he came in here for before speaking.

“we gotta talk, y/n,” his tone was different. it was breathless, like he was trying to plead with you– convince you he was worth a minute of your time. it was unlike anything you had ever heard come out of your best friend’s mouth. so, naturally, you were intrigued.

“what do you want?,” you asked, now rummaging through your drawers for at least some underwear.

“what’s goin’ on with you? why won’t you talk to me? why are you ignoring me? why are you hangin’ with that guy, y/n?,” the questions flowed out of him, even faster than he himself had anticipated. he knew he sounded pathetic, but he was too worried to care. you pulled some small panties up your legs. you didn’t even care to put on shorts. surely rafe was able to not act like a horny teenage boy for 5 minutes. you took a seat next to him, but it only made him stand in response. you looked up at him with a puzzled expression on your face.

“nothin’s goin’ on with me, rafe. i’m hanging around enzo because i like him. plus, you’ve been an ass this whole trip,” you answered him plainly. it was the truth, and there was no use in trying to hide it. you were done trying to spare his feelings. he had been on enzo’s ass since he met him, and it pissed you off.

“listen, y/n… i don’t know what i did, but i’m sorry. okay? i’m fuckin’ sorry. i’m sorry for whatever i said, or did. i’m sorry for the girl earlier today–,” he began rambling, pacing in front of you. he ran a hand over his short hair, then moving his nail back to his mouth until he thought of what he wanted to say next. you filled the silence with confusion.

“the girl? rafe. i don’t care. you can hang out with whoever you want,” a breathless laugh escaped your lips. the noise making rafe’s brows furrow in confusion. how could you think that? why did you not get that possessive pit in your stomach when you saw him with someone else like he did? he was losing his mind at this point– totally baffled at your response. he stopped pacing to face you straight-on.

“don’t care?! jesus, y/n how can you not care?! i’m not fuckin’ losing you to this guy. i won’t,” his eyes had a gleam in them– was he about to cry? he fiddled with the gold ring on his finger while he awaited your response. he knew this conversation was way out of his element, but he was willing to sound a little pathetic if it meant not losing you.

“losing me? rafe, you sound insane. you’re not losing me because of enzo–,” you started before he cut you off. his hand moving to his temple, and then to point at you.

“don’t. don’t say that! you’re lyin’. he’s takin’ you from me, y/n. you just… you can’t see it yet… yeah– yeah you can’t see him for who he is,” he was babbling on– half talking to you, half mumbling to himself. you had never seen him like this. it was starting to scare you. was he back on drugs?

“rafe, can you please just calm down? sit, or something. you’re freakin’ me out!,” you were pleading with him at this point. thankfully he obliged, sitting down next to you on the edge of your bed. he refused to look at you– scared he might say something he would really regret if he saw the look on your face right now.

“can you look at me? please,” you were already facing him, his eyes hesitantly rising to meet yours. you had never seen such hopelessness in him.

honestly… it broke your heart.

it broke your heart, but it did not break it enough to make you apologize for anything you had done. it was evident that rafe didn’t even know what he was sorry for– just that you were mad, and he didn’t want you to be mad anymore.

“what’s your deal, rafe? you can talk to me. i’m your best friend,” you even reached to hold his trembling hand, attempting to steady it. he was shaking slightly, but you could still feel the way he tensed when you said that last thing. his jaw tightening as if he was biting his tongue. you rubbed circles into the top of his hand– any kind of comfort you could give him right now would calm him down. you still knew him– knew what he needed.

“do you like him, y/n? like– really like him? do you wanna be with him? has he kissed you?,” his voice was soft, almost too soft. he didn’t even seem like himself in this moment.

“i mean… yeah, i guess–,” you began to answer him, uncertainty laced your words.

“no. you either like him, or you don’t. tell me,” he cut you off, his voice still quiet, but his tone more harsh.

“yeah… i do,” you admitted. it wasn’t like you were going to marry the man, but you didn’t just consider it a fling anymore– it can’t really be a fling when you haven’t even slept together, haven’t even kissed…

“fuck,” he muttered under his breath. if you weren’t sitting only inches from him you wouldn’t have caught it, but you did.

“is that a problem?,” you wanted to be sarcastic in this moment, but your tongue wouldn’t let you. a more sincere question fell off your lips instead– as if you truly cared whether rafe approved. he was still your best friend, after all.

“you don’t understand… i can’t lose you– fuck, i can’t,” his words were faltering. the wells in his eyes began to stream down his cheeks. he was so vulnerable like this– so… delicate, in a way. your hand moved from his up to his cheek, wiping away the tears with your thumb. he melted into your touch like he had been starved of it for years– the past two days had felt like years to rafe.

it had felt weird to you, too. he was your best friend and you had barely spoken to him. you missed him… it was just easier on you because you had replaced the absence of him with the presence of enzo.

“please… don’t go out with enzo anymore,” he sounded helpless– like he knew you wouldn’t agree to it, like it was his last resort. he was begging you, moving to lean into your chest. you could hear quiet cries, and you were in such foreign territory right now.

your hands cupped his cheeks, moving his head back up to look at you. you had no idea what was going on– if he knew something about enzo you didn’t– but whatever it was… ended tonight.

“why, rafe? tell me why. give me a reason, and i won’t,” your voice barely above a whisper. he had never been this fragile before, it seemed like if you even talked too loud he would crack.

“‘cause y/n…,” his eyes were staring into yours, your hands still holding him in place. it was almost like he didn’t want to say whatever was about to come next.

“because what?,” you were genuinely trying to understand. if rafe was acting this way, there was clearly something wrong. you just wanted to know what it was, that way you could make it better. he took a deep breath before answering.

“because i’m fucking in love with you.”

TAGS ! @yktayy9669 @drewsswifeyy @drewrry @frankoceanluvr11 @dearestmillls @icaqttt @mystic-megumi @hpboysslut2707

[roses-and-revolutions]

Stephine is really enjoying university life.

Sure her 'night job' left her exhausted more often than not and she wished that some of her professors would just (die) get into some little accidents, leaving them unable to work for some time. But she enjoys being a university student.

And the best part of it all was her roommate, Samantha. Not because she was hot or anything! Yeah ok, it was because Samantha was hot but you couldn't blame her! She had no right being so goddamn attractive! She's smart and cool as well and... back on track!

Stephine sighed remembering the first time she ACTUALLY looked at Sam. The memory was basically etched into her mind.

They had been roomies for a few weeks but had hardly talked before that moment. Mostly because she was dealing with an extremely tricky case that time around. A case with a dead end that had left her feeling exhausted, defeated, and disgusting. And she wanted was a nice hot shower and more than a few hours of sleep. It wasn't like she had any classes the next day anyway.

But when she opened the door, she was met with Sam standing in the middle of their dorm. Gotham's sky was clear that night the power of the full moon was making itself known.

She still remembered how beautiful Sam was. Not that she wasn't always beautiful, even on her worst days she wasn't anything but ethereal. But something was different that night.

Whenever her mind wandered it always strayed to delicate pale skin, covered in strange symbols and runic tattoos she'd never seen before. Dark hair that almost blended with the night, and naked pink lips that... focus Stephanie!

Sam was tall, even without her platforms or Mary Jane's, a good 4 inches at least. And her eyes, she always thought they were black but they weren't. She still vividly remembered that deep violet glow in the near darkness that pierced through her heart straight into her soul. Stephanie knew from that moment she was smitten.

Not too long afterward she started working on getting close to the girl. Though with all the classes, cases, and general Gotham life she'd only been able to find out a few things. Sam was Goth, vegan, and from a small town that no longer exists.

Despite her constantly updating her plant blog, arguing with her parents, and doing research for her various classes (wow double major and double minor, she's ambitious), her online presence was basically zilch.

Was it a bit of a red flag? Maybe. But red was half of purple so it should be ok. She thinks. But that didn't matter now because tonight would be it. Both of them were free and currently doing 'nothing'. All she had to do was turn around and ask a question. Any question!

"Hey S-"

"Hey, Sam!"

She almost gave herself whiplash with how fast she turned her neck to face the window. Hanging halfway through it was a boy. Pale skin, dark raven hair that melded into the night and bright blue eyes that almost hurt to look at. Were they family?

"Oh, you got company! Is now a good time or..."

"Speak or leave."

She sounded mildly annoyed and God was it hot.

"Ok, if I were to, hypothetically, of course, need help hiding a-"

"Do I need to buy a shovel?"

"...Maybe."

"Let me get my purse."

As suddenly as the boy came they both left, through the same window and into the dark Gotham night. Stephanie's mind, which had short-circuited, slowly caught up with what had just happened.

She had many questions. Like how did he get up here without any equipment? It's the fourth floor! Why was Sam so calm about it? Was he just asking for help to hide a body? Why was Sam so calm about being asked to hide a body? And did she just offer to help!?

Wasn't that boy Daniel Fenton? The wanted domestic terrorist that the US Government recently asked the JL to help capture...

Red is half of purple, red is half of purple, RED IS HALF OF PURPLE!!!

[ladythornofrivia]

UNKNOWN CALL -

Billy Loomis x Transfer Student!Reader

summary: billy stalking the transfer student who moved in Woodsboro at the wrong time.

Warning: stalking, vouyerism, smut, blood kink, violence, blood, p in v sex, oral fixation, spying, possessive, roughness, mild manhandling, mild degradation, unprotected vaginal sex, oral sex, masturbation, cheating, dark content

a/n: IM BACK! i went AWOL for so long. I missed you guys! I know it’s been a while. I’ve been obsessed watching Scream and Billy Loomis is my new fictional crush. I hope you all enjoy!

Casey’s death spread in throughout the town, even in Woodsboro High School. Girls and boys alike went straight to their homes, while the reporters and cameramen scattered around the grounds.

People were getting scared. Reporters interviewed and intervened as the police men began to search and investigate, hoping to get more evidence. Due to the murder, all stores were shut down in a strict curfew.

When you got transferred into Woodsboro High, you introduced yourself into the class. Everyone gave the same boring expression, except for one guy, Billy Loomis, with a glum expression in his eyes gained a little sparked when he first saw you, the transfer student, who’s bright and ambitious.

His bored posture straightened, and his pout turned into a subtle smirk.

Little did you know you came here at the wrong time.

Casey’s death was still cold. By the end of the class, the group went and discussed by the fountain—all five. While Randy was making theories about the death, Tatum theorized regarding to the killer being a female. Stu carelessly throwing words here and there as Billy was mindlessly focusing elsewhere, almost bored.

“Stu was with me last night,” Tatum defended, and someone else was with us, too that night—oh there she is. Y/N!” Tatum stood up and waved.

You were walking around the ground, in a call with someone. When you look up, you waved back at Tatum in excitement, rushing towards the group.

“Y/N, really?” Stu looked at Tatum in disbelief.

“She’s been a great help when it comes to homework and knows what goes well with the hangout.”

As you approached, Billy held a soft gasp, taking a long examination of you clad in sleek outfit in turtleneck in pastel violet and frilly skirt with white kitten heels.

The first time Billy saw you beforehand, he thought you looked perfect in cherry red and black with ribbon on your neck. From head to toe, you were immaculate. From head to toe, you we’re innocent, in a way you’re oblivious to your surroundings.

You’re a transfer student, who came in at the wrong time—a day before Casey’s death.

“Speaking of hanging out, Stu was with us last night. Do you recall that?” Tatum asked you.

“He’s there with us last night,” I said to Randy, then facing them, which Tatum slapped Stu and Randy simultaneously as a victory. “I was watching a movie while you guys were too busy making out.”

“We’re too busy making out because it’s a Disney movie,” Stu protested, whining.

“A Disney movie!” you said incredulously. “Nothing wrong with the cartoon classics! And I want something light but you kept on insisting with horror thriller! And Tatum want an action movie.”

As you find yourself giggling, Billy’s eyes lingered onto your figure, hoping Sidney wouldn’t notice.

Hearing the sound of your laughter, it was…authentic. Other girls would approach him in a ditzy laughter, no fun, but, with yours it’s real, not a poser.

“Aren’t Disney movies, like for children? We’re adults now,” Stu was pumped up.

“Um, we’re still in our teens. Nothing wrong with that,” you said. “Besides, I’d rather watch something that’s light.”

The moment your eyes met Billy’s, it created a spark once more in his heart, his mind reeling on a more…bloodier aspect of you.

His eyes darkened, and thought you looked better in red.

Billy gave a small smile at you, hoping you’d notice and smile in return.

As you did, it was a glimpse.

Billy knew you’re way innocent.

“Anyway, I gotta go now. Do some homework and watch tv. I’ll see you all later,” you said, approaching Tatum for a hug, and waved goodbye as you leave.

Billy deeply glanced the way you sashayed with your hips with confidence, something his poor, another innocent girl, Sidney lacks.

The way he flinched after Sidney gave him a goodbye kiss and left after Randy and Stu were making poor puns of a corpse while eating their food.

“Liver alone,” Stu said, cackling like a howled monkey.

Billy looked at the sight to where you’ve gone, your figure disappeared in the sight under daylight, and felt a heavy sigh heaving from his chest, and released a softer version from his lips.

He’d never want you to leave.

In fact, he’ll make your mind change.

+++

In the next few days, people were still talking of the murder, and Randy worked at the store, stacking new VHS tapes of the rom-com genre, when Randy rambled on and on about how everyone could be suspect, it caught everyone’s attention as well as Stu mocked Randy. And when Randy expressed his likes for Sidney, Stu told him he doesn’t stand a chance, despite Billy was busy talking to other girls, eyeing on him while he’s eating a gummy candy he bought from the candy store.

When Randy went ballistic, Billy and Stu cornered him, commenting about how Randy used the word “millennium” wisely before Billy heading back to his usual routine, watching anyone who might suspected him.

And in his hopes, hoping they were none.

Entering, you returned a Disney film and went into another section to grab another flick to watch—rather use as a background noise for homework and cleaning.

At the aisle, you looked for a film, Interview With A Vampire. You read the book seven times and your curiosity peaked when there’s a film version, starring Tom Cruise and Brad Pitt. You’re so occupied in your world, you didn’t realize Billy was standing behind you.

“Oh—hey watch where you—” realizing it was Billy, who flicked his brow up at you, you said, “sorry about that.”

Billy slicked his greasy hair back. “No worries. I was in the way…” His eyes darkened, monitoring your figure and saw a peek of your cleavage when you grab the last copy of the Interview with a Vampire. Billy examined your attire, it was all black—leather and short, with your cropped shirt studded with spikes, and a leather mini skirt with fishnets. You were wearing a choker with studded spikes and roses, with a ruby stone placed intact at the center.

You tucked a strand behind your ear. “What movie are you looking for?”

Billy couldn’t function for a moment. “I was busy looking for…”

Your brow quirked. “For?”

“A film, like that,” he said, pointing at the copy you’re holding.

“Oh this?” you lifted the flick. “Yeah, I want to switch it up for tonight. I thought about what Stu said. I must be so lame, watching Disney films,” you giggled, shying away.

“Are you into vampires?”

“Yes. And werewolves and witches,” your smile gleamed. “Gothic movies are my thing.”

“We could try watching a slasher film. In fact, I was about to get one,” Billy insisted.

“Sure, I have to watch this movie first,” you said, despite not liking slasher or supernatural movies.

Billy nodded hesitantly. “I see. Have fun with your film.” He chewed on a chewy candy.

You stared at the gummy candy he was holding as soon as he plucked the last piece.

Billy noticed.

“You want it?” he asked.

He liked the tasted of the gummy flavored candy due to the sweetness of corn syrup.

“No, it’s okay,” you said, your hand waving it off.

Billy placed it on your hand while clasping your wrist with the other. “You can have it. I got full and tired from trying to search a movie. I’ll see you later.”

“Yeah…See ya.”

You stood there, looking dazed as he walked away, not realizing Stu and Randy were watching both of you.

+++

After settling your homework, you gone out into the kitchen and made some light snacks—two packs of Lay’s potato chips, gummy candy you recently got, and a grabbed a drink—Sprite, and a leftover chocolate cake to speed up the process in homework and extra credit.

At home, it was slightly humid, but you turned on the AC, cranked it down to level 70, as you changed your girlish clothes to a tight-fitted clothing. A white cropped shirt with mini black sports shorts with two white stripes on the sides. You locked all the doors, and turned on the lights—inside and out.

Setting the VHS tape of Interview with a Vampire, the phone rang.

After placing the remote down from turning the volume on, you answered the phone call.

“Hello,” you greeted with a smile.

“Hello, (Y/N),” an unknown voice answered.

Your heart stopped. And turned around. Your parents weren’t there yet.

“May I ask who’s calling?” you said with confidence.

“Someone who’s interested in talking to you.”

“Uh-huh. I’m sorry I’m actually busy doing something right now. I have no time for idle chat.”

“Watching a movie, I assume?”

Your heart stopped again. “Yes...I was..”

“So what movie are you watching?”

“I’m watching a movie, one with Brad Pitt in it.”

“Ahh, so you’re into hot older men,” the unknown caller intrigued.

“Well, actually I was more into vampire-looking men,” you remarked. “I liked watching movies that particularly interesting to me.”

“Sounds…interesting.”

You cleared your throat. “I’m sorry, my movie’s about to start.”

“Are you with your boyfriend?”

“I don’t have one.”

“You wouldn’t happen to be watching…Interview with a Vampire?”

Your heart dropped again. You were about to scream.

You stepped into the living room, covering the TV. “Um, seriously, dude, this isn’t funny. I haven’t had a cup of coffee since this morning. I’m in a caffeine addiction. I need myself to keep up all night and I’m super-duper hungry. Don’t fucking test me when I’m not on caffeine mode.”

“My, my,” the unknown caller mocked, clicking his tongue. “Aren’t you the feisty one?”

“What do you expect? Me screaming? Or calling the police? I know you don’t want that shit. Nobody wants to get a permanent record.”

“Ah, smart girl. I was starting to think you’re like any other girls,” he bemused.

“What do you want? Do you want money? Jewels? Drugs? You want my dad’s expensive watch that costs $1000? Fine, I can offer you those. Although not drugs because drugs are bad and I don’t think it’s healthy to use drugs.”

The unknown caller howled in laughter. “I want none of that. I want to play a game with you.”

You paused, weirded out.

“Is this some kind of a—”

“Question one. What’s the name of the infamous killer in the film Halloween?”

“What? I never even watch horror movies!”

The unknown caller. “Uh-oh! Somebody’s in trouble~” he said in a sing-song voice.

“I’ll give you money,” you insisted, urgent.

“I told you, you stupid slut. I don’t want your money. Answer my question.”

“Um…” you tried to think, hand pounded at the back of my head. “Michael…Michael something…Michael Myers! I know he killed his sister, Judith Myers.”

“Good, very good,” he said. “For someone who doesn’t watch horror films, you knew about him.”

“I’ll give you everything you want, you can live in a rich life—you can travel to Aruba or Jamaica, just please let me go—”

“‘Next question,” he interrupted. “What’s the name of the main character in the Nightmare of Elm Street?”

Panicked, I said, “I thought anyone would’ve love money.”

“Answer the damn question,” he snarled.

“Um…it’s the one with Johnny Depp in it, right?”

You haven’t watched the original horror film. But maybe you did just a bit.

“Ahh, older men again,” he bemused. “As expected from you.”

“Come on, dude, let’s talk this out. I can give you my snacks and soda.”

He howled again. “You’re a funny girl, offering a stranger with food, hoping for my belly to be sated. But you’re not going to get away with it tonight, I’m afraid.”

Shit.

“Um, is it…Nancy Thompson?” you guessed.

“Correct. See? I knew you had it in you.”

“Can we just—”

“Final question. If you get this answer correct, I’ll be gone. If you get this answer wrong, you’ll suffer the same fate as poor Casey.”

Your heart thundered.

“Are you fucking serious?”

He chuckled. “I’m serious. I never let my victims go off so easily. Say a word to the police, I’ll fucking rip your guts out—”

Pain seared into your head. “I’ll give you my virginity.”

The phone call went silent.

“What?”

“You heard me. I’ll give you my body. And if you’re satisfied with my offer, then that’s great. Who knows, I might be naked, right now. And I don’t have a boyfriend. Besides, I don’t think anyone is interested in me.” your voice saddened at the thought of you being bored.

The unknown caller didn’t answer.

“But then again, you might be dissuaded with me and—”

“Take your clothes off.”

Huh?

“Take off your damn clothes,” he demanded.

“You can see me?”

He chuckled. “Take it off now, or this offer of yours might expire.”

You shook your head. “Okay.”

Stepping in the middle of living room, you took off your shirt, lifting it, you heard an intake of breath when he saw your underboobs, and when tossed over, he couldn’t believe what his eyes see.

Perfection.

“Good. Good girl,” he praised, he undo his pants, revealing his enlarged cock, jerking.

When you took off of your shorts and thongs, his hand went in fast motion, moaning through the phone.

“Keep going, sweetheart,” Billy encouraged.

Over by the sofa, you spread your legs, unveiling the vibrated toy—after you retrieved it nearby and inserted into your hymen as you circled your clit with the other hand. Head threw back, you moaned aloud, and Billy’s climax was getting near. He didn’t expect a good girl like you to be…bad.

“Keep going,” he said, hand already tired, but his dick was in the closure.

With a final insert, you came in your vibrated dildo.

So did he.

“Ah, that was beautiful,” he commented, his breath ragged. “I never had girls do this kind of performance.”

“Whoever you are, I hope you enjoyed it.”

You hope he wouldn’t spread your explicit show.

“I’ll let you off the hook. For now.”

And then he hang up, leaving you in a total mess.

What will you say when your parents about to go home in the next four hours?

+++

Taking off of his mask, hiding in your downstairs closet, Billy wished he could’ve stayed forever. With a girl like you, he wouldn’t mind keeping you around. But with his plan—his revenge to Sidney, he wanted to kill her so he could be with you, the transfer student.

He’s willing to make you as his for eternity.

Taglist: @toodlesxcuddles @kittendoll05 @omgsuperstarg @xcharlottemikaelsonx @paninisstuff @danika1994 @angeljcca @marvelescvpe @kukulyarva @namelesslosers @heavenly1927 @snh96 @httpsmenace @velunis @nananeptune @domithebomi @moonseye @faesspace @xinthia19 @popsycles @lothiriel9 @liannafae @blackswxnn @buccini555 @watercolorskyy @taangie @qardasngan @jolixtreesunn @runekisses @thought--bubble @remuslupinwife1 @evergreen9083 @foggypeacestarlight @dixie-elocin @galactict3a @momowhoo @saturnssrings @dani5216 @crymeariversworld @blackgaladriel @theboleyngirlx @elaratyrell @lionneee @starzz-l0ver @multifangrell @chaotic-fangirl-blog @f1girlieee @aleemendoza2425-blog @bespinnn

[pinkcutiepiee]

Bucky Barnes Proposing💌

Day 5 of 5 of my Valentines Writing Event💌 || Masterlist🍓

Warnings; mention of anxiety but nothing in great detail. Not proofread

Apologies about the delay on this one!!

Bucky had never known anxiety like this before. Usually, his solution would be to seek you out for comfort. However, in this instance, that is not an option. Not unless he wants to spoil the surprise, that is. He's worked so hard to make this perfect, and now at the last minute, his palms have become clammy and his mouth dry. His heart seemed to be beating 10x its normal rate - and he felt almost as if he'd forgotten how to act like a normal, functioning human.

When you arrived home, he somehow felt worse. Words become trapped in his throat and everything becomes paralysed as you embrace him. He struggles as you pull away and ask him if everything is okay. Allowing you to talk about your day, he feels himself returning to his usual self. The muscles in his face don't feel so tense, and he finds that he is becoming more vocal now, too.

Sensing the subtle changes in him since your arrival home, you don't comment on it, but make a mental note. Bucky’s struggles with anxiety isn’t anything new - so coming home to him not acting like his usual self wasn’t unusual, but did not stop you worrying.

“How about a trip to the beach?” He asks out of the blue. It’s not that you don’t enjoy going to the beach - it just seemed a little strange that he asked. You haven’t been to or even spoken about going to the beach in months. You accept anyway, the idea of spending the evening with you favourite man watching the sunset sound like the perfect way to end the week.

Once you finally arrive at the beach, Bucky seems anxious again. You catch him trying to control his breathing one too many times before asking if he’s okay as you sit on the blanket you brought.

“Of course, doll,” he smiles before kissing your lips softly. Playing with his hair, you smile in the kiss as you feel him relax under your touch. Deep down, though, he was as anxious as he’d ever been. It’s now or never, he thinks.

As you pull away from the kiss, mumbles what sounds like 'here goes nothing' before speaking, then pulls out the most beautiful ring with shaking hands - your hand coming straight to your mouth as you gasp softly.

"I planned a whole speech for this, but I don't think I'll be able to make it through it all...” he starts with a deep breath, and you can already feel the tears fill your pretty eyes.

“I just want to let you know that you are the best thing that ever happened to me… you saved me at a time when I thought I could never be saved and believed I didn't even deserve saving. I love you with my whole heart, and words cannot express how grateful I am for you,”

You’re sobbing at this point, and even if you hadn’t seen the tears fall from Bucky’s eyes; the cracks in his voice would’ve told you that he was also crying. He stops before asking the question, taking a moment to compose himself and take a deep breath.

“I would be honoured if you were to become my wife, will you marry me?" He looks you in the eye as he asks, and you can tell he looks scared. Scared that you’ll reject him. You’re going to spend every day for the rest of time showing him just how much you love him, to show him that he deserves it.

“Yes, of course I will,” you sob, as he places the ring on your finger. When you kiss your now fiancé, you taste the saltiness from his tears, and you’re sure he can taste yours. Once you’re done, you sit and watch the sunset together; looking forward to forever.

[lightsoutmatthews]

It´s always been you - Nathan MacKinnon

summary: you and Nathan used to date but things came to and end one day in Nova Scotia. Attending the Makar´s wedding together wasn´t something you planned on doing, but unfortunate circumstances leave you no other choice. What happens when old feelings who seemed to be forgotten, aren´t as forgotten as you thought they were?

pairing: Nathan MacKinnon x female!reader

word count: 8.8k

warnings: alcohol consumption, heavy make out, allures to sex (no on page intercourse) probably still advise to read at your own risk if you are not +18

authors note:

I know Cale did not get married in Mexico but for the sake of the story we will imagine he did

I took this idea from a prompt list over the summer, unfortunately I can´t find it anymore to tag the creator

--------------------------------

The Makars wedding invitation came when you were still together, now it was pinned to the pinnboard in your new apartment, weeks after you and Nathan had broken up.

It wasn’t that the break-up came out of the blue, fights had cracked your relationship. Nathans hard working ethic when it came to hockey often something that got in the way. Not that you blamed him. But he and the Avalanche once again failed to make it further than the second round of the playoffs, losing to the Stars in six games.

He grew cold. Not the first time it happened. Nothing you hadn’t dealt with before, but you were tired of it. The arguments, the storming out and the days without hearing from him after he left for Halifax were the final nail in the coffin you needed to end things.

You flew to Nova Scotia just like you were supposed to but left the next day with a broken heart and the determination to find a new apartment as soon as possible. You did after a few days somehow, finally moving out of your… of Nathans apartment.

You moved on, trying not to think about him too much, trying not to let the different corners of Denver remind you of memories the two of you shared.

Then the week of the wedding came.

Cale and Tracy would get married in Mexico, something that had been planned months in advance. Something you had planned together with Nathan. Something you had also booked together with Nathan.

You tried talking to Tracy, hoping she and Cale had another room so that you could attend. Attending together with Nathan something you weren’t ready to. Unfortunately, there were only so many rooms they booked for the wedding.

Tracy said it was your choice if you´d attend but in the same breath she made clear that there was no way they would ask Nathan to not attend. Not that you ever expected them to.

So, tomorrow you would leave for the wedding. How it would pan out something you would deal with when you got there. But then the message pinged your phone.

Nathan MacKinnon: We should talk about the wedding.

No hello. No how are you. Just we need to talk about the wedding.

At first you were unsure if you should reply. Starring at the phone for minutes, the chat open, his words doubling over in your mind.

I Yes, we should.

No indication as to where, how and why exactly, nothing more than his text.

Nathan MacKinnon: I emailed them asking if I can cancel the reservation and book two separate rooms, they declined and said we would not get our money back if we cancelled.

I I asked Tracy the same thing, she said basically the same to me.

I You can go. I don’t need my money back either. Cale is your friend and teammate.

Nathan MacKinnon: I don’t want to keep you from the wedding of a friend.

I And what is your plan? Are you offering to sleep on the beach?

You were slowly getting annoyed with him. Dealing with this over text pissed you off. If he wanted to speak, he could at least have the guts to call.

Nathan MacKinnon: We could attend like planned. Sharing the hotel room. We were together for three years, we can deal with this.

You rolled your eyes.

I Yeah, and there´s a reason we´re not anymore.

Nathan MacKinnon: We can be civil with each other for one week. For our friends.

You swallowed. Hard.

He was right and as much as you did not want to share a hotel room with him for a week, Tracy and Cale wanted both of you there. They planned this expecting you to be there together. For the sake of their special day you could pull through, right? You wouldn’t have to be around him aside from when you would both be sleeping, right?

I You´re right. It´s just a week. We cohabitated without speaking for almost as long before.

You knew it was a low blow. Throwing his behavior at him years after it happened but you could not let him think this would be anything but you doing this for the sake of your friends.

Nathan MacKinnon: I´ll let Cale know, see you there.

--------------------------

Two days later you got off the plane in Mexico. The heat outside hitting you like running into a wall. It had been warm in Denver but August heat in Mexico was a different beast.

Just like the entire plane ride the shuttle to the resort had you overthinking. What had you thought agreeing to room with Nathan for a whole week? He was your ex-boyfriend for goodness sake.

Anger was still lingering underneath your skin. Maybe even a little love that was still left for the man who you shared a life with for multiple years.

You weren’t prepared to face him again, but when you stood in front of the wooden hotel room door with shaking hands you knew there was nothing you could do.

You stood there outside the room for longer than you probably should have. The heat from the burning sun giving you a sunburn through your shirt but it was still more comfortable than facing who was inside the room.

You heart couldn’t beat faster if it tried. Not even running a marathon could made you breathe this heavy.

But when the door opened a few seconds later everything stopped. The droplets of sweat on your face suddenly more prominent than ever. The slight breeze that was brushing over your skin spreading goosebumps alongside your arms.

He looked the same as when you left him in Halifax. Unsurprising, given it had only been a couple of weeks.

He was a little more tanned. His hair seemed blonder, probably from the sun as well. His bright blue eyes hidden by a pair of sunglasses you hadn’t seen him wear before.

The world moved in slow-motion as you looked up at his tall frame. His lips were moving but didn’t register any words that left his mouth, too caught up by this being the first time you met him since the breakup.

“I´m sorry, what?” You breathed out, voice quiet. His brows furrowed and a shiver immediately ran down your spine. “I said, there you are, the front desk called the room asking if you made it her okay. I was just leaving to meet some of the guys at the beach, see you later.” Before you could get another word out, he was already ten steps down the path vanishing as quickly as he apeared.

The door snapping shut right in front of your nose pulled you back into reality. The interaction leaving a bad taste in your mouth. Of course, you came here hoping to interact with him as little as possible, but somehow you did not expect him to give you the cold shoulder.

With a loud sigh you finally gathered the courage to enter the room. The coolness of the air-conditioning a strong contrast to the heat outside. Nathans familiar smell hung in the air, indicating that he had been here for quite a while.

Stepping further into the room you noticed his suitcase next to the small couch that formed the center of the main part of room. To the left was a door to what you guessed the bedroom and to the right another door that probably led to the bathroom. You would explore in a second because what really captured your attention was the patio. It held a small pool, some deck chairs and a path that led right to the beach.

The beautiful turquoise that you were faced with at the end of the path took your breath away. The palm trees and flowers that lined the path down to the sand nothing like you had seen before. Cale and Tracy picked a beautiful place to get married and you would enjoy your time here regardless of the man you had to share a room with.

----------

The first wedding activity followed that evening. You hadn’t seen Nathan until shortly before you had to leave. His eyes lingered on your flowy sundress a little too long for your liking when he opened the door, but he went for a shower without any word.

The resorts restaurant where Tracy and Cale held their welcome dinner was equally as beautiful as the rest of it. The sun, which was dipping low over the ocean, colored the surroundings in a soft orange glow.

When you stepped into the area reserved for the wedding party you were greeted with people, friends, you hadn’t seen since the hockey season ended for the Avs in mid-May. Susanna Ranta and Mel Landeskog immediately embraced you with hugs and how are you´s before pulling you a chair on their table.

Mikko and Gabe acknowledged you with soft smiles but no words. Their two girls the ones you had been closest with while being in the wag circle of the Colorado Avalanche, you considered them more than acquaintances but since they´re still Nathans friends, they´re not yours.

----------------------

He entered the patio with the confidence that surrounded him wherever he went. He was walking like he owned the place, his light summer pants rustling with the steps he was taking. The navy shirt matched them perfectly.

You always appreciated his ability to style himself. It had always been easy to match if needed.

His large strides led him to your table, Mikko and Gabe obviously being the guys he wanted to sit with.

His eyes roamed, once again lingering on your frame for longer than a normal glance should be. Goosebumps formed at the back of your neck when his piercing blue eyes met yours for a brief second, before he looked away again and pulled out the chair across from you.

The energy around the table shifted as he sat down. The air was heavier than before. Everyone obviously knowing your history. No one knowing how they should react. Susanna asking if you had a good trip here broke the silence a short while after. Following that the guys broke into their own conversation.

You didn’t miss how Nathan´s eyes flicked to you occasionally. Lingering. Almost longing.

You ignored it, rather falling into comfortable conversation with Mel and Susanna about the summer. They painted beautiful pictures about the home countries of their partners. Sweden and Finland always having been countries you wanted to visit.

Gabe and Mikko clinked themselves in when they picked up on the topic, raving about how you really needed to visit and how you could stay at their places no questions asked. Many polite smiles and nods were shared. You knew you didn’t belong into their circle anymore, but they still felt like the friends you were when you and Nathan were together.

--------------

The itinerary told you tomorrow would be a relaxing day with different activities planned. You talked with Mel and Susanna about joining Tracy and some of her friends at the beach and later at the resorts spa. You had seen the place when you walked here. The epitome of luxury combined with calm, and relaxation immediately drew you in. A massage truly was what you needed after the past weeks.

When you returned to the room after taking a walk along the beach. Nathan was already there. You were faced with his muscular back as you walked through the door.

He was hunched over his suitcase, looking for something. His back muscled moved as he searched, his big biceps, which hiding behind used to be your save space somehow seemed even bigger than before.

The memories of being snuggled up against his side on the couch, his arms wrapped around you, keeping you save, flooded your mind. You blinked rapidly to wash them away before making yourself known.

“Do you still need the bathroom?” He flinched, apparently, he hadn’t heard you come in. The air shifted when he stood. The space suddenly feeling incredibly small.

“No, all finished. You can take the bed too, I´ll take the couch.” You took at the uncomfortable looking piece of furniture. It was small, there was no way it could hold all six feet of him. He probably would have to tuck in his legs to fit.

“I can´t let you do that. Your back will kill you tomorrow.” His eyebrows shot up, but he didn’t reply. “How else would we solve this?”

“Let´s just sleep in the bed. We´re both adults, Nathan, we can handle sleeping side by side. We did it for years.” He brushed his hand through his already tussled hair and sighed. “I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

“It´s fine. Let´s just go to sleep and get this over with as quickly as possible.” You could see that he swallowed hard. But he didn’t say anything this time either, just gave you a single nod before going back to searching in his suitcase.

You didn’t bother making any more conversation, leaving for the bathroom instead, where you took a long shower, delaying the return to the bedroom where he undoubtedly would already be asleep or still scroll through his phone.

You took your time brushing your teeth, going through all the steps in your skin care routine, spending extra time on massaging the creams in just to spend more time away from him.

After, you scrolled through your phone for another five minutes but when tiredness took over your vision and you were ready to go to sleep you mustered up the courage to go outside again. The doors to the balcony were still open, the soft sounds of waves crashing to the shore mixing with unfamiliar animal sounds. It gave you a sense of peace, the bustling atmosphere of Denver usually not holding this sense of calm.

You paused for a second, watching, breathing in the salty air that filled the room, before closing the door. The absence of the nature sounds casting it in silence.

No sounds were coming from the bedroom either but when you entered Nathan was still awake, typing on his phone.

He didn’t say anything, but his eyes found and roamed your body as soon as he spotted you. They followed you as you walked only looking away when you sat down on the other side of the bed. You didn’t miss how he settled on his usual side. The side he had taken in your shared home as well.

You weren’t sure if it was out of habit or because he knew that you preferred to sleep on the side facing the window and you shouldn’t be touched by the gesture. But you were.

--------------

When you woke up the next morning something heavy was draped around your waist and your back was unusually warm. Yes, you were still in Mexico, but this was not the heat from the sun already burning down outside.

Your mind didn’t process, just took in the warmth and went back to sleep. Not for long until you realized who exactly was giving you this warmth. Turning around quickly but carefully you were faced with a sleeping Nathan. His arm still wrapped around you as his chest rose and fell slowly, steadily.

Being close to him again was familiar, comfortable even, his body one you fell asleep next to for a long time. But when your brain caught up with the situation you scrambled away from him which woke him up, blinking heavily to get rid of the sleep in his eyes.

When he grasped what had happened, he ran his hand over his face and sighed loudly. “I´m sorry.” He broke the silence, his voice still heavy with sleep. “Force of habit, probably,” he continued.

You knew you should call him out on it, tell him it cannot happen again. But you couldn’t say the words. So, you just glared at him, and he glared back at you. Until he ripped his glance away and got up, almost running out of the bedroom, fleeing an uncomfortable situation.

You let him. It was for the better.

---------

After breakfast you met up with some of the girls to go to the spa. The group enjoying almost the whole day getting pampered. You had never felt so relaxed. The situation with Nathan this morning being pushed out of your mind as soon as the misuse started rubbing your back, easing you of the tension that had followed you since you had left Nathan back in Halifax.

Chatter follower as your group made their way to the pool early afternoon. You would meet with the girls respective partners for a late lunch. Everyone being paired up again as soon as you arrived stung a little more than you expected. This should’ve been you and Nathan as well.

Said man was leaning against a chair a few steps away from his friends and their partners. He looked as misplaced as you felt.

Mel shot you raised eyebrows as you kept looking in his direction. Taking in the body you were once completely familiar with. The subtle shake of your head made her look away again.

Thoughts filled your mind. Thoughts about the vacations you and Nathan had taken. Last year’s off-season, when you spent the summer at his house in Halifax. He was walking around shirtless most of the day when you were at home because the heat was unbearable. As little clothing as possible was the only option.

The number of times this had ended with him dragging you inside, taking off the little clothing you had left and worshipping you until the both of you passed out, were uncountable. The best summer of your life, you had described it to the other girls when the both of you returned to Denver in early September.

“You´re starring.” The voice right next to your ear snapped you out of the memory. Gabriel Landeskog was standing there, shooting you a shit eating grin while wiggling his eyebrows into his friends direction.

You swatted at his chest and laughed. “I was not starring.” Both of you knew it was a lie, but he let it slip. “He was starring too, he´s just better at covering it up.” Gabe´s confession made you heart beat faster. You took a second to take in a deep breath. The sun suddenly feeling way to hot on your skin. The closeness to Gabe suddenly being too much for you.

“I´m going to get another drink,” you mumbled, hoping he heard it, before you almost sprinted away. The floor burning the bottoms of your feet as you walked. You ignored it, just wanting to get away from the situation. He was starring too. Gabe´s words echoed through your head.

But you reminded yourself that you couldn’t go down this road.

----------

In the early evening the whole group met up at one of the resorts bars that had been reserved for the night. You didn’t return to the group after Gabe had stated the obvious to you earlier. You didn’t see Nathan prior to the party either.

You knew he had been in the room when you retuned from another walk on the beach. His swimming trunks were drying on the balcony and a pair of his sneakers were missing. You didn’t question where he went, it wasn’t your problem anymore. As much as the past two days had given you a familiar feeling with a hint of habit.

-----

Arriving at the party Tracy handed you a colorful looking drink which you immediately took a big sip out of. She didn’t question where you went that afternoon, just shot you a knowing look and nodded to the back of the terrace where Cale was surrounded by his teammates, Nathan included.

You ex-boyfriends eyes found yours as soon as you stepped further into the space. The neon lights reflecting, giving them a slight sparkle. He was sipping from a bottle of beer as he more or less listened to Miles Wood telling a story.

Your glance was looked on his for a while. It was like this was a game. Whoever looked away first lost.

It was him who broke away, when Cale wrapped his arm around his shoulders. Looking like he had already some beers in his system, rocking back and forth, clinging to his friend for support.

The warmth that fled through you as you kept looking at him was familiar. It felt like every other party you had attended together. Him wandering off to chat with people, but always keeping an eye on you, always making sure you´re okay and had everything you needed.

Maybe it was a force of habit, like the cuddling this morning.

“You and Nate seem awfully like you used to.” Mel said next to you, making you jump. “It´s nothing.” She shook her head laughing. “Sure, nothing, just like it was nothing when you ran away this afternoon after my husband told you that he´s been behaving just like you.” She took another sip of her drink, and you followed suit, avoiding having to answer immediately.

“It´s nothing, Mel. We used to be together, we´ve only been split up for a few weeks. Old habits die hard.” The blonde raised her eyebrows. “Sure, keep telling yourself that you and he are not shooting longing glances at each other all day.” With a wave of her hand, she left again, disappearing as quietly as she had shown up at your side.

-----------

Hours into the party the music was drumming in your ears, louder than it probably was. You were a few cocktails deep into the night and the soft buzz had made itself known as you almost stumbled into a waiter who was trying to deliver another load of beers to the group of Avalanche players sitting around one of the few tables that were placed around the open space.

You were desperate to sit down at one. Your feet burning from the heels you had been wearing all night, but every chair was occupied. So, you opted to lean against the fence that split the bar area from the rest of the restaurant it belonged too.

The sun was low on the horizon, telling you it was not that late, yet people were leaving, the early starting hour of the party something no one was really used to but most of them appreciated since tomorrow the wedding activities would resume with the rehearsal dinner as well as final preparations for the big day two days from now.

Tracy and Cale had been the perfect example of a couple heavily in love, preparing for the best day of their lives. When slower songs were played the couples gathered on the makeshift dance floor and danced, clinging to each other. This should have been you as well. You should be out there with Nathan.

The more you thought about the man, the more it stung and that odd feeling of longing and missing something you once had crept its way into your mind. When Nathan took one of Tracy´s friends for a spin jealousy was probably written all over your face. You tried to hide it but old feelings that you should’ve buried deep inside you bubbled up again, telling you that you maybe weren’t as over your ex as you thought you were.

---------

When a thunderstorm made its way upon the resort everybody retreated to their rooms. The silent bolts of lightning followed by the blaring rumble of thunder let shudders move all over your body. You had never been a big fan of thunderstorms. Sleep being impossible most nights they occurred.

Whenever he was home Nathan had held you. Rubbing soothing circles on your back until you fell asleep and he knew you were safely tucked in his embrace. There was nothing more you wanted to do right now than to experience this again.

Maybe it was the alcohol or the protected feeling he always gave you as soon as you were pulled against his chest but the thought of not having it today made you let out a quiet sob. Emotions crashing down on you heavy.

There was so much that was better when Nathan was in your life. Being with him but not actually being with him had shown you how much your lives had been intervened when you were together.

The silence of the room did not help the sadness that was suddenly overwhelming you. Lightning casting the space in a bright flash every other minute followed by the walls almost shaking from the thunder and the thoughts of the past made the tears fall quicker than you imagined.

You tried to take deep breaths. Grounding yourself by lying flat on the bed trying to calm down. When it didn’t work you curled yourself into a ball and let the tears fall. Stopping them would be more exhausting than just letting them out anyways.

You weren’t sure when the door opened but at one point Nathan returned from wherever he went when the party started to clear out. The feeling of not being alone anymore something that calmed your heartbeat like it knew that the man on the other side of the door would slip into bed momentarily providing the comfort you so desperately craved.

Only this time you would get it. He would turn around, facing the door, maybe scroll through his phone for a few more minutes before he would close his eyes and sleep. All that without acknowledging the stare you were currently in.

Your heart wrenched at the thought. Another sob leaving your mouth, the sound probably louder than you wanted it to be.

With the sheets pulled up higher, hoping the fabric would absorb some of your heartbreaking cries you turned around and faced the window again. Lightning still flashing outside, rain heavy and loud against the glass.

The darkness was heavy too. Like it was hiding secrets you never wanted to come into the light. Specifically, the thoughts about how much you missed being around Nathan.

He came into the bedroom at one point, using his phone screen as a flashlight. Your shoulders were still shaking. He can´t see this, you thought, quietly pulling the sheets even higher to try and hide not only from him but from the world.

When a strong arm wrapped around your waist moments later you flinched harder than you probably should have. The warmth of his body a strong contrast to the cool room. “Shhhh. It´s okay. I´ve got you.” He mumbled into your hair, softly brushing some of it out of your face. You were stunned by the tender action. This being the last thing you expected him to do.

He pulled you into his chest and interlinked his fingers with yours. The familiarity of his hand in yours something that calmed you down in an instant. There were many questions in the air but there was no time for them right now. That was a conversation for the next morning.

As he kept rubbing soft circles over your back, whispering soft nothings in your ear, you finally drifted off to a light sleep.

At this point just glad he was there for you, like the last time there was a thunderstorm. Little did he know, he was part of the thunderstorm that was brewing inside you.

-------

Waking up in Nathans arms the next morning felt less uncomfortable than it was the morning prior. His massive arms were still wrapped around you, your head resting on his chest, while his legs were tangled with yours.

When you looked up at him, he was already looking down at you. His eyes soft, roaming over your face, a small smile spread across his lips. Everything about this moment felt like before. Like the breakup had never happened and you were here at the wedding happy and still very much in love.

Were you still in love?

“Morning,” Nathan mumbled. “Hey,” you whispered back. His grip immediately loosened around your waist. Like reflex you pushed yourself further into his chest until he wrapped them around you again.

If this was the last opportunity you had of being close to him before everything would go back to how it was yesterday you would take it. Regret be damned.

Silence spread through the room again. The sun casting it in a soft glow. The chaos from last night almost forgotten.

You weren’t sure how long you just held each other. Both taking in the comfort the other person brought, maybe for the last time.

You felt him move and even though your eyes were closed you knew he leaned his head down again when he placed a kiss, nothing more than a light brush, to the top of your head.

The tender action made you whimper into the fabric of his shirt.

When he placed a hand on your cheek and made you look at his again it was filled with so many emotions at once. Longing. Regret. Love.

His eyes started to flicker between your eyes and your lips. Your thoughts racing a mile an hour trying to figure out what his next move would be.

On the one hand you desperately wanted him to lean down and kiss you. Feel his soft lips against yours again after weeks of being deprived of them. On the other hand, this would complicate things so much. What would happen if you went down that road again? What would you want to happen?

Before you could overthink too much Nathan took the decision from you and leaned down to connect your lips. For a second at first, like he was trying to see what your reaction would be. When you did nothing but look up at him with pleading eyes he leaned back down, the kiss much more heated this time.

It felt like he was pouring every emotion he had into this kiss. Everything he didn’t say, everything he wanted to say but maybe was too afraid to.

You interlaced your arms behind his neck and pulled him closer into the kiss, equally trying to pour as many emotions into it.

You didn’t know how long you made out like that but at one point he started to slowly move his hands to the hem of your shirt and that’s when you pulled back. “Nate,” you whispered out of breath. Your lips were swollen from the minutes they had been on his.

He immediately pulled his hand back. “Sorry.” He rushed to get up, so fast he got tangled up with the sheets, almost planting onto the floor face first. “God,” he said, smashing his hand against the nearest wall when he stood solid again.

You were surprised at his sudden outburst. “Sorry, I´m…. shit… I´m sorry. I shouldn’t have.” Words failed him as he kept brushing his hand through his hair and over his face.

“Nate,” you said, quietly at first, but when it gained no reaction from the man across from you, you repeated yourself louder. “Nate!” His eyes snapped back to you, and he stopped in his motions.

“Will you calm down, please,” you plead. His eyes seemed darker in the morning light, but they were still equally as piercing when they starred directly at you. “Why are you sorry?” The question left your mouth before you could think about it.

“I… We broke up. I don’t want to make you uncomfortable, we´re here to celebrate our friends.”

You leaned your head back against the headboard and starred at the ceiling. “Don’t be. It´s not like you forced me into this.” From the corner of you eye you saw his posture relax at your words. “Still, we´re her for four more days. I don’t want you to not be able to look me in the eyes at breakfast later.”

When you got up and walked over to him you did the least rational thing you probably should have done in this situation. You wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him in for another kiss.

He placed his hands on your back and pulled you flush against his chest, deepening the kiss immediately.

When you wrangled yourself out of his hold another few minutes later, he eyed you curiously. “See, now we´re equal,” you whispered against his lips before pressing one last kiss to them and rushing out to the bathroom.

------------------

When you arrived at breakfast Nate was already sitting at a table with the Landeskog´s, Miles Wood and Ross Colton. Everyone greeted you with a warm “good morning,” before you sat down at the only empty chair. Obviously, it was next to him.

“Do you have any plans until the rehearsal dinner?” Miles asked mid chew which made you chuckle. “Nothing exciting.” Was the collective response.

You didn’t miss how Nate kept eying you from his seat. The kisses had not left your head ever since you had stormed out of the bedroom and locked yourself in the bathroom under the disguise of getting ready for breakfast.

How soft his lips felt against yours, how perfect you still melted together was all you could think about when you looked at the man sitting next to you.

“What´s up with you two?” Ross called out after he apparently observed your subtle non interactions for a few minutes. “Nothing,” Nate replied too quickly which earned him a round of raised eyebrows.

You tried to look anywhere but into Nate´s general direction. When your eyes met Gabe´s across from you his face held a knowing smile, but he promised you with a subtle nod that he wouldn’t say anything until the two of you said something first.

You appreciated that, there was nothing to tell anyways.

The rest of the day was spent tanning at the beach. You finally took the chance to continue to read you book while the other girls had another day at the spa and Tracy was running around with her wedding planner for last minute preparations for the big day tomorrow.

The guys followed your idea and set up a game of volleyball at the beach. Every now and then you ogled the group, they´re hot athletes, there was nothing wrong with that.

Nate´s eyes caught you starring more than once and he shook his head with laughter before pushing his sunglasses into his hair and shooting you a wink.

It was a simple gesture that shouldn’t make butterflies flip in your stomach. The kiss from the morning once again playing on repeat in your head and you wanted to do nothing more than to walk over to the group and beg Nate to give you another.

“What are you daydreaming about?” Tracy´s voice almost made you jump out of your chair. “Nothing really. Just thinking.” You put the bookmark back into the book and put your whole attention to your friend. The subtle voices of the guys faded into the background and started to mix with the waves crashing down on the shore. You tried to focus on that instead of giving away what you and your ex-boyfriend had been doing just hours prior.

“Just eye-fucking the ex-boyfriend, what´s the big deal really, right?” Your eyes shot up and you starred at her like she just caught your red-handed. “I knew it,” she almost shouted. “You still have feelings for him. Shit, I owe Gabe 50 dollars.”

Your brows furrowed. “You and Gabe placed a bet on me still having feelings for Nate?” She grinned. “I´m sorry?” It was more a question than a real apology. “You two were so good together, we were just rooting for you.”

“We were for a while, then we weren’t anymore.”

She placed a comforting hand on your arm. “You both looked out of it at breakfast this morning, what happened?”

“Nothing really,” you paused, considering your next words carefully. “He comforted me last night when the storm happened.” She placed her sunglasses on her head, eying you suspiciously. When she didn’t say anything, you hoped that she believed you.

It wasn’t a complete lie. You just left out that after that the two of you made out in the morning, twice.

“I have to get back to the venue. If there´s anything you want to talk about you know I´m always here for you, right?” Your arms wrapped around her before she could finish speaking. “Of course.”

She smiled when you let go of her again. “Keep ogling your ex, Cale told me Gabe told him he likes it.” With that she got up and left you alone again.

------

For the first time on the trip Nate and you walked to the room together after the afternoon spend on the beach. You didn’t speak much, your actions from the morning and a conversation that should be held still looming over you.

At the same time you still felt the overwhelming urge to it again. To do more.

“You can go shower first if you want to.” Nate mumbled as he pulled out his phone, seeming like he suddenly had really important notifications. “Yeah, sure.” The tension surrounding the interaction wasn’t lost on you. But neither of you acted on it.

You grabbed your clothes for the rehearsal dinner out of the bedroom and locked yourself in the bathroom once again while he did god knows what.

The hot water of the shower did nothing to clear your head. You were spiraling. On the one side you wanted to act on the tension, on the other hand you didn’t want to go down that road again. There was a reason you and Nate broke up. There was no way it would work a second time…. Right?

-----

The rehearsal dinner went without any specific happenings. You and Nate arrived together, which raised the eyebrows of some people, but you shrugged it off.

When the group made their way over to yet another bar for one drink before everyone would go back to their rooms early in the light of the day tomorrow you walked close to him. His hand brushing yours every now and then, sending shivers down your spine as you continued to try to ignore the feelings that were coming back to you.

The wind picked up as you sat on the open balcony built directly over the ocean. You rubbed your shoulders trying to warm up a little in your thinly strapped dress. It had been an immediate yes, when you saw you had packed it and Nate´s reaction was worth freezing now.

“Here.” A blazer was draped over your shoulders. The navy color something you immediately recognized. Your “Thanks,” a mumble at best but you slipped into the fabric and let the warmth engulf you. It smelled like Nate´s signature aftershave. The mix of wood and cinnamon something that felt like home to you, even after being apart for a while.

Tracy raised her eyebrows and wiggled her fingers between you and Nate when she spotted you wearing it, but you just waved it off. “Nothing,” you mouthed.

The look on her face told you that she didn’t believe you at all, but she turned back to the conversation she had prior leaving you and the man next to you alone.

-----

The group exchanged goodbyes and see you tomorrows soon after. You and Nate walked back to the room together, the tension that had built between the two of you so thick it could’ve been cut with a knife.

You didn’t say anything, just followed him into the room quietly when he unlocked the door with the key, he fished out of the pocket of the blazer you were still wearing. Even engulfed by the warmth you shivered at the look Nate was giving you as he subtly touched your arm to steady himself while searching in the pocket. A look full of lust but mixed uncertainty, as if he was debating if he should act on it.

He brushed his hand over your arm he was still holding, unintentionally it seemed, innocent almost but his eyes didn’t lie. He wanted you, and he wanted you now but there still was this hint of almost insecurity in his eyes.

Neither of you spoke as he closed the door, placing the key and his phone on the shelf next to it. You shrugged off his blazer and let it fall to the floor with a soft thud. His eyes snapped back to yours, roaming over your body.

The moment you enter the bedroom, he had enough and decided to act on what had been lingering in the air the entire day. He pressed you up against the wall next to the door, the one where he stood just this morning.

His lips were on yours, just for a second, before he traced the column of your throat. You turn your face to the side and see the cheeky grin on his face.

“See, I don’t know if you´re still mad at me for how things ended between us.” He pulled your chin up, having you meet his gaze before pressing his lips to the corner of your mouth. “But if you are, forget it, I’ve been thinking about this for the entire night and I know you have too.”

And then his lips were on yours again. His tongue swept into your mouth and danced with yours. The woody scent that weavers around him fills your nose. His kiss was demanding, claiming and deliciously slow, as his fingers laced with yours at your side, pinning you deeper into the wall with his hips.

You could feel him hard already through his pants. He parts your legs with his knee and trails his finger down your cheek to your jaw, under the curve of your ear.

“I thought about this since this morning actually.” He pulled your dress down to expose more of your chest. A low groan escaping his lips before he carefully bites into your shoulder, releasing it as he moved on to your collarbone.

The dress hit the cold floor of the room as he pushed the straps down your shoulders, his fingers finding your pearled nipples effortlessly through the lace of your strapless bra.

“I thought about it all through dinner too. Do you know how hard it was for me to not drag you out of your chair and back to this room?” His voice was gravel in your ears as heat pools into your panties.

You whine against him, inch yourself closer to him. He pinches your nipple. Hard. Before reaching down, cupping your pussy, pressing the heel of his palm into your clit. All you could do was whimper.

You were in sensory overdrive because his other hand was still working slow on one of your nipples.

He looked up and let his eyes rake over every inch of your body, standing before him just in your bra, panties and heels you matched the dress with.

“This might be the hottest thing I´ve ever seen,” he growls as he stands, grabbing your arms, pulling you back onto the bed.

You moan. His lips meet your shoulder blade as you pant. Taking the few seconds, he took to undress himself. You need him to touch you. Somewhere. Anywhere.

His fingers trail under the back of your thong, sliding downward to your ass as he grips you tight with his other hand. A low grumble rumbles through him as you arch your back at the move.

“Fuck, yes.” You breathe out. “What do you want, sweetheart?” The man in front of you far from the man you were met with this morning. This version of Nate one you had only seen in the bedroom after particularly rough games, when he desperately needed to take out all the buildup tension.

Those nights were some of the bests of your life.

“Answer me,” he growled against your ear as he kept trailing your body with his hands but not acting on anything just yet.

Another moan left your mouth as he trailed over the one particular spot, he knew all too well.

“Fuck me, Nathan,” you breathed, seconds before pleasure was taking over your entire body.

--------

Waking up the third morning in paradise felt different than the other two. You woke up in Nates arms, just like you did the other days but this time there was this funny feeling in your stomach.

Warmth and butterflies mixed with that delicious burn from the actions of last night between your legs. The sun was already peeking through the curtains, but you knew that it was still very early.

The wedding would be until midday so there was no rush in getting up and getting ready, especially since neither you nor Nate were in the wedding party. So, you snuggled back into his embrace, his arms immediately tightening around you as he grumbled.

“Good morning,” he whispered and placed a soft kiss to your head. “Morning,” you mumbled back, pressing yourself even closer to him.

Neither of you said anything but soft touches and kisses that were exchanged spoke for you. He connected your lips softly on multiple occasions and followed it up by trying to remove even more space between your bodies.

“How are you feeling?” The question was heavier than expected. How were you feeling?

For one you were feeling good, happy to be in this place again, like you had returned to a place you hadn’t been at in a while but loved endlessly. At the same time, you were feeling conflicted. What would all of this mean for you and Nate?

How would this continue when you returned to Denver? When he got back to Halifax? Would this continue? Was this just a vacation fling, a way to close this chapter of your lives?

Looking up into Nate´s warm eyes, that softened at the attention you were giving him again, you let out a heavy breath.

“I don’t know, Nate,” you paused. “Conflicted, maybe? But also, happy.” A soft smile spread on his lips. “No regrets?” Your eyebrows shot up. “No, no regrets.” He leaned down again and captured your lips with his.

After you made out for another few minutes you looked at each other again. Questions lingered in the air. Unspoken confessions and feelings. The only thing you were sure off was that you were happy. Happier with him than you were without him.  

You missed him. Every day since you broke up. You didn’t realize it before. Not when you saw him again the first day you came into the room. Not the first time you kissed post breakup and not last night.

Looking back at the weeks that had passed since that morning in Halifax you suddenly noticed subtle details that were related to missing him.

How he always opened doors for you. How he put your coffee in the fridge before he left for practice or morning skate so it would be cold when you woke up. How your car was never low on gas.

Things you didn’t really think about until now.

“What´s on your mind?” Another heavy hitting question.

“What does this mean for us, Nate?”

Silence.

“What do you want it to mean?” An unexpected question, that at the same time was giving you the feeling he had already made up his mind.

“I don’t know. I need to think about it.” Silence, which he met with silence. Only for a while before he spoke again.

“How about we just get through this day, celebrating our friends and we figure everything out tomorrow?” You nodded. That gave you time to think. To bring your thoughts and feelings in order and to figure out if you wanted to do this again.

“Yeah. Good idea.”

---------

The wedding passed in a blur. Tracy was the most beautiful bride you had ever seen and when Cale shed a tear seeing her walking down the aisle you couldn’t hold yours back either.

Nate, sitting beside you, which obviously raised eyebrows with his teammates and their partners, grabbed your hand rubbing soothing circles to the back of it as you watched your friends exchange their vows.

The reception dinner was delicious, followed by speeches that had you holding your belly laughing, which probably was a side effect of the multiple glasses of champagne you indulged in as the hours passed.

Nate rarely left your side. Once to chat with his teammates, more often to supply you with more drinks or a snack from the massive display of sweets, desserts and fruit the Makar´s put up.

It was almost like before. The routine something you grew familiar with and missed. His protective eyes something you craved. But you still hadn’t made up your mind.

There were pros and cons to getting back together with him. You were weighing them all day.

Sometimes the pros won, sometimes the cons did but you weren���t closer to a conclusion either way.

The dance floor opened shortly after the cake was cut. Everyone was jumping around, screaming, celebrating, having a good time. You were surrounded by your friends, having a blast. Experiencing joy you haven’t felt in a while.

When the newlyweds came together for their first dance and invited everyone to join them you stepped to the side as everyone coupled with their respective partners.

You watched everyone for a bit before a familiar hand was held in front of you. “Dance with me?” “With you? Always.”

With a smile he led you out to the others. As you wrapped your arms around his neck he placed his on your waist.

The both of you swayed in silence for a few seconds. Enjoying yet another intimate moment.

“Come to Halifax with me,” he whispered. “Let´s figure this out. I know we can.”

Goosebumps. Confirmation that he had really already had made up his mind in the morning.

The world around you slowed down when you looked him into the eyes. The other wedding guests that were still mingling around you blurring into the background, their voices quieting.

“What?” your breath hitched. Nate´s touch burning at your wrist sending splashes of memories through your mind. How he held you for the first time. How he had wrapped his arms around you after winning the Stanley Cup. How you held him after he lost in the playoffs earlier in the year.

“After this, come back with me, like you were supposed to. Let´s try again. I love you. I never stopped. Do you have any idea how much I wished to take my actions back? To follow you to the airport and apologize?”

“I waited for you. Before security.” A subtle change in his hold which felt like a bigger than it was. “I wished for nothing more than for you to come and try to save us.”

He stopped swaying and placed his hands on your cheeks, making you look him directly into the eyes. His stern determined look burning into your memory.

“We both needed this time to realize some things, we know this. It was the right thing to do at the time. But we realized this is not how it was supposed to end.”

“Nate…” the words came out quieter than you expected. You weren’t even sure he heard them.

“I already told you I still love you. Please, let´s go back to us,” he plead, grabbing your hands, squeezing them.

A smile spread across your face. All the worry, all the doubts that had crept into your head disappearing the more he said. You looked up at him with light in your eyes.

“We need to talk this out, Nate. Not here, but when were back in Nova Scotia. There is still a reason why we broke up.” But based on the look on his face he didn’t listen to a word you said after you said, “when were back in Nova Scotia”.

“Thank you. For giving me another chance. I promise you I won´t waste it,” he said before dipping you back and kissing your right there in the middle of the dance floor of your friends wedding reception, clapping and whooping from your friends in the background.

[kaytheday]

Johnny's Killer

“It’s Johnny’s birthday comin’ up. It’s this Friday.” Pony says quietly. They’re eating dinner together for the first time in a while. Between Ponyboy being at school and the fact that Soda moved out it’s been hard to get the three boys under the same roof for very long. 

“Oh?” Darry phrases it like a question and Soda can’t help but think it’s funny. It’s funny how Darry knows how to talk to their little brother better than Soda does these days. For all their arguing and Soda’s begging to just hear each other out, they sure can talk now. His tour in Vietnam not only took him miles away physically, it took him away emotionally as well. In the four months Soda has been back, he can’t seem to find his way back to his little brother. It’s not like it was before and it isn’t the only thing that changed. 

“Yeah,” Ponyboy says easily, swallowing another bite. “I was thinkin’ we could go and visit his grave, maybe bring some flowers.” 

“I have plans this Friday.” It’s how quick he is to shoot him down that throws Darry and Ponyboy off. 

“All day?” Pony asks, incredulous. “We could always go on Saturday too.” 

“I can’t do that either, I’ve got plans for both of those days.” Then he’s excusing himself, washing off his dish as he lets the hot water burn his hands. Soapy water spraying up on his shirt. 

“Doing what?” If Soda had been asked this a year previously, he might have blanched and stuttered. But he’d become a good soldier in the past year and with that, a quick liar. 

“I’m helpin’ Stevie with his car. You know, that old mustang. He’s really got to get it finished before the end of Saturday.” 

“Funny.” Ponyboy says, his gray eyes looking downcast. “Because Steve told me this morning he was gonna be with Evie and her parents all weekend.” 

Soda kept going without skipping a beat. “Well shoot kid, look at you and Steve all buddy buddy now. You know him better than me.” 

“So you can come on Friday then?” Ponyboy asked and Sodapop couldn’t help the way his stomach twisted and his throat closed up at the thought of seeing Johnny Cade’s grave. He’d promised himself he’d never go back there and even if it was on foreign soil, that promise still counted. 

“Darry what do your hours look like tomorrow because I cannot seem-”

“Why don’t you wanna go, Sodapop?” Ponyboy interrupted Soda’s terrible attempt at switching the subject. Darry looked nervously between the two of them, he knew better than ever how their recent fighting had gotten highly out of control. 

“It’s not that I don’t want to go, it’s just-”

“It’s really a simple question Soda, why don’t you want to go?” He knew it was a simple question, one that he couldn’t voice whatever this was that he was feeling. Darry jumped in quickly, seeming to sense that something more was wrong.

“Ponyboy, why don’t you-”

“No, he should tell us what is wrong. Why wouldn’t he want to go?” Soda's mouth felt dry as he thought back to the foreign jungles of green and unknown terrors. 

“I’m just gonna go.” He snapped. “Didn’t know that dinner was going to turn into an interrogation.”

“Sodapop, you can stay-”

Darry was trying so hard, Sodapop would always give him credit for that. But even he didn’t know how to fix this. Didn’t know how to pick up the pieces of Sodapop that had shattered across continents. “No, no. It’s fine, I’ll just go. It’s not a big deal. But you tell Johnny hi for me Ponyboy? You were always good at that.” Then he leaves bounding down the porch steps and praying to whatever god his mama believed in that they wouldn’t follow him. 

It used to be that he couldn’t keep his mouth shut. He didn’t like his brothers asking things because he couldn't shut himself up and he’d spill everyone's secrets. Like when he told everyone Steve and Evie were dating before they wanted anyone to know or shared old Dallas Winston's drunk confessions with Buck Merril. He nearly lost a tooth for that one.

But now, he could keep a secret. He couldn't seem to speak them into existence even if he wanted to. He now kept the secrets of the dying boys, covered in their own blood and rainfall. Whispered secrets between the glinting dog tags and bloody teeth. Clutching dirty hands as honest admissions are spoken once and only once. 

He got in his old beater of a car and just drove. Weaving through the winding streets of Tulsa, the same ones he had missed so much when he was gone. Now he only saw the old sites of stupid gang fights and drunken adventures. Like a roadmap written in nostalgia and sentiment. It was an ugly map if you ask him. 

Sodapop could tell you exactly why he couldn’t go to Johnny's grave but his lips were sealed. The reason why played through his mind every night as he tried to fall asleep. He’d never be free of it. 

“Come on Sodacan! Move your ass!” Sarge whispered to him and Soda couldn’t help but to move. Keep moving, it was all he could do. Suddenly a scream rang out, a woman by the sound of it. “Looks like they made contact.” Soda crouched outside a small hut in the dark, cover taken from the prying eyes of the Viet Cong. His fingers buzzed with the need to keep moving forward, but his group had made contact and that meant he had to stay put. At least for now. When they got the word, they could bust through the hut and do their job, but for now. 

That scream rang out again. A few months ago, Soda might have jumped, but by now, he had grown accustomed to the sound of screams and pain. He really didn’t know if it was a good or bad thing. Right now, he just pushed it down. He could worry about the direction of his moral compass later, when he made it back to the States alive. 

“Wrap around.” Sarge mouthed, along with some hand signals that had also meant nothing to him just a few months ago. He followed his orders and wrapped around the building. He was about to keep going but he stopped in his silent tracks. 

There was a kid, couldn’t be more than fifteen or sixteen with tufts of curly black hair and small shoulders crouched outside the door of the hut. He was holding a rifle and Soda could see his hands shaking from where he stood. However, it wasn’t the gun that made Soda stop in his tracks, it was the likeness. This kid looked just like Johnny from the back. So much so, that Soda thought it really was Johnny for just a half of a second. Then he reasoned himself out of it. It couldn’t be Johnny. He was in Vietnam, a place Johnny had never been. Johnny had died two years previous from a fire, there was no way that this kid was Johnny. But he had that same hair and the same…

Then Soda realized. Johnny… this kid was planning on killing his fellow soldiers and jeopardizing their entire mission. He had to take this kid out before he killed someone or tipped off the Viet Cong hiding in that hut and ruined their entire mission. 

Soda crept up behind the kid and covered his mouth before pinning arms to his side. The kid started to freak out as the gun was wrestled out of his hands. Soda almost dropped him as his hair moved, he looked so much like Johnny that it hurt. 

“It’s not Johnny.” He whispered to himself. “It’s not Johnny.” He kept repeating it as he smothered the kid, placing his other hand around his nose. The kid's eyes grew wild as he began to struggle even harder. 

But he was no match for Soda. Basic training had beat out any ounce of boyishness that Sodapop had been holding onto from childhood. He was a man now, legally and in body. This kid was fifteen, malnourished, and scared out of his mind, it wasn’t a fair fight in the slightest. 

Then Soda felt his hand start to grow wet, the kid was crying as he was smothered to death. His life being snuffed out through Soda’s hands. The same way the fire had snuffed out Johnnys…

“It’s not Johnny.” Soda repeated his mantra. “Johnny never cried.” He did in the end though, didn’t he? He cried on that hospital bed after he told Ponyboy to stay gold. The tears were slow and sad but that still counted as crying. 

Slowly, the boy's struggles slowed and he stilled. Soda left him there on the ground of the jungle clearing, wiping his own tears away and trying to get a grip on this new person he’d become. 

“Soda move in!”

He’d killed Johnny, hadn’t he? Over there in Vietnam… It was him. He’d killed Johnny. Who was just a kid! Just a kid with parents and family and a whole life there in Vietnam. And maybe those parents hated him but he was still alive. With a pumping heart and blood running through his veins. Soda had just snuffed out his life, killed a kid with his bare hands. 

How could he ever tell Pony? Johnny was his best friend and Soda basically killed him. Pony would scream and yell, or worse, he might stay quiet. He could hate him quietly and never talk to him again. Either way, Soda wasn’t gunning to tell him and he wasn’t going to Johnny's grave… ever.  Not after he was the one that killed him. 

Since he’d been home, the lines between what was real and what wasn’t began to blur. Things that happened over in Vietnam meshing with the tragedies of high school to make a sort of disgusting picture. It always took Soda a minute to place where everything had actually happened and stitch himself back together again. In other words, he got confused a lot more often now. 

“Hey.” Steve is sitting with Evie on the couch. “Thought you were stayin’ the night?” 

“Not anymore.” He says with a shrug.

“Something happen?” Steve asks, dropping his hand from Evie.

“Oh nothin’, when did Ponyboy turn into such a brat?”

“He’s always been a brat.” Steve said with a small grin. 

“I thought y’all got on real well.” Evie says and Soda could scream. 

“Eh… not really anymore.” 

“Why?” 

“I don’t know, maybe he grew up?” He takes a jug of chocolate milk out of the ice-box trying to do anything but snap at his best friend's girlfriend. 

“Eves…” Steve says something else but Soda tunes him out, taking another swig of the milk. Suddenly Steve was behind him. Soda did his best not to jump as his friend's hand went on his shoulder. His body was buzzing and his fingers itched for dope or something to take away the flashes of memory that were mixing behind his eyes. “Me and Evie are gonna go see a movie, you gonna be okay here buddy?” 

Steve asked it tentatively, almost like he was anticipating a bad reaction. Soda hated that he was right. 

“Course I’ll be fine here by myself.” 

“Okay, I’m just making sure.” Soda can’t help but think back to the night that was the reason Steve was so hesitant to leave him alone in the house. The night he’d gone a little overboard on the acid and nearly messed everything up. There was still blood from that night inbetween the bathroom tiles if you squint hard enough. 

Steve Randle had never been a gentle person and he’d never been nervous but Soda had managed to turn him into both. Since that night, both Steve and Darry had been hesitant to leave Soda in a house by himself. Not that he blamed them. Pony asking about Johnny’s grave was almost enough to set him off again anyway. Not as bad as that night though. 

“Yeah, you two have your fun.” He says as they start to leave out the door. “Don’t be makin’ me an uncle now, okay?” Steve flips him off before closing the door behind them. Soda hopes they stay gone because he really can’t take Evie and all her questions or Ponyboy and all of his questions. So goddamn vindictive those two. 

“Nice work Sodacan. That kid would have gotten us all killed.” 

Sodapop sits straight up, the hair on the back of his neck standing up. Sarge? Why does this always have to happen when he’s alone? Why does he always hear things? Flashes of ugly memory mottle his brain, tattooed on the back of his eyelids even though he’s scrubbed them with soap. 

“Just a kid too, damn Sodapop, didn’t know you were ruthless like that.” 

Soda runs up to his room and pulls out the box under his bed. The stupid little cigar box that Darry would kill him if he knew about. He pulls out a small stack of tablets gifted to him by a friend down at the Pharaoh's farm. Just a little something to take the edge off. He tells himself before placing it on his tongue to dissolve and sinking to the floor.  I can’t do this again.

He squeezes his eyes closed and tries to let the tablet really sink in. Somewhere distantly, the phone is ringing. Someone is yelling, but Soda can’t hear any of it. He’s too far gone to hear anything, not even the old ghosts that seem hell bent on talking to him. 

PART 2 LINKED HERE!

Thanks for reading! This is part 1 of 3! The a03 link is in the title!

[walkingd3adman]

Headcannon of arthur morgan having a crush on you and hyping himself up on asking you out on a date

The way I immediately had an idea for this is crazy 💀

I ended up turning this more into a story than headcannons…but I’m happy with it lmao and it turned out super cute 🫶

WARNINGS‼️: Reader implied to wear a dress and have hair, they/them pronouns, use of Y/n, a lil bit of cussing, Arthur pining over reader, a bit of angst, mention of death, alcohol

———————————————————————

This man is actually so shy and nervous around Y/n. Like it’s kinda sad.

He would always stare at Y/n every chance he got. Not in a creepy way or anything like that. More of a protecter looking over the person he’s supposed to protect.

If that makes any sense at all.

He would find himself accidentally staring at them throughout the day, stealing little glances every chance he got.

Arthur was starting to stress a bit. He’s not stupid, he immediately recognizes his own feelings…

Love.

And that scares him.

Terrifies him.

After what happened with Eliza and Issac - even Mary…He’s scared to give love a shot again.

But…something about Y/n is different. They seem so freewheeling and careless about how they look, or how others think of them. Being such a sweetheart at times, just to do a 180 when someone or something pisses them off.

He’s certainly not getting any younger…and besides, what harm will one little date do..?

He can do this! He can do thi-

“Hi, Arthur.”

He freezes in place as he hears Y/n’s voice.

“What are you up to?” They ask, tilting their head to the side slightly in curiosity.

“Oh- uh. Nothing really…Just uh..Y’know.” He panics. ‘Just uh Y’know’??? What was that Arthur…you’re trying to ask them out, not make a fool of yourself!

“Oh. Well, Pearson wanted me to tell you that we need more food.” Y/n replies with a small smile, finding his nerves quite amusing.

———————————————————————

A few days have passed since this…rather embarrassing interaction.

Arthur had just returned from a long ride, the sun set a few hours ago. He really needed some time to think to himself.

He dismounts his horse and hitches her up, glancing in the direction of Y/n’s tent, just to see that they are still awake.

They seem to be the only ones awake right now…Well, except for Charles who’s on guard duty just outside of camp. But, he won’t bother them.

Arthur starts tapping his right foot. “‘May I take you to dinner?’ No..too formal. ‘Would you like to go on a date with me?’ Ok that’s straightforward. That works. I could take em to a picnic..yeah, yeah that’s cute. I got the stuff I need. I got this. I got this.” He grabs his flask and takes a swig of gin, hoping it’ll boost his confidence some more.

He puts the flask back in his satchel and starts walking towards Y/n’s direction, where they are sitting right outside of their tent.

Y/n looks up as they see Arthur approaching.

“Y/n w-“ Arthur starts to speak, but the adrenaline and confidence immediately drains as he makes eye contact with them.

“Yes?” Y/n asks, urging him to go on.

“You uh- you hungry?” Okay…that works I suppose..

“Kind of. Why do you ask?” The confusion in their voice is evident, as it is an odd thing to ask if someone’s hungry at about two in the morning.

“Well I’ve got some food…and drinks..I thought it would be nice for us to go and eat by that river..it’s close to camp.” He holds his breath and it seems as if an eternity passes every second that they’re silent.

Y/n stands from their place on the ground. “Arthur Morgan, are you asking me on a date?” They giggle as Arthur’s face turns a light shade of pink.

“No- Well yes. I mean, I just thought it’d be nice..?”

Y/n smiles and smooths out their dress. “It would be nice.” Holy shit. He thought he was about to get rejected…but he couldn’t of gotten a better answer.

Arthur holds his hand out to them, intertwining his fingers with theirs as they both walk towards Arthur’s horse.

He puts his hands on their waist and lifts them up, placing them on the back on his horse and making sure they’re secure. He then hops on her and grabs onto the reins, gently kicking her to set a slow pace. Y/n wraps their arms around Arthur and holds on tightly, resting their head against his back.

As they leave camp, Charles raised an eyebrow and lets out a small huff of amusement.

———————————————————————

Arthur slows his horse to a complete stop as they reach the river he was talking about. He gets off first and then helps Y/n down.

“Turn around for a minute.” He says and gently nudges their shoulder with his.

Y/n does what he says without question and turns around, facing the woods.

Arthur works quick, grabbing a blanket that he keeps on his horse and laying it down near the river bed. He grabs some cooked deer meat, blueberries, and some wine that he had picked up on his ride earlier.

Y/n feels hands go around their eyes and they gasp. “Just me. It’s alright.” Arthur reassures. He keeps his hands over their eyes and guides them over to the spot. He slowly lowers his hands. “It’s uh…It’s not much, but you can go ahead and open your eyes.”

Y/n opens their eyes, and this time, gasps out of amazement. Sure, it doesn’t look like much, but an act like this coming from Arthur Morgan? It’s impressive.

“Oh, Arthur. This is beautiful.” They smile, walking a bit closer and taking a seat on the blanket that’s made of bison fur.

“Thank you…I tried.” He takes a seat next to them.

———————————————————————

They both ate, drank, and talked like there was no tomorrow. Sleepiness hit them both at what seemed to be the same time.

They’re not sure how it happened…but Y/n was laying on Arthur’s chest, listening to his heartbeat while Arthur played with their hair in silence.

They could stay like this forever…

But they can’t. And that’s the sad reality of it, as Arthur always has work to do.

[cece693]

I’d do anything for a part two of “A Crown Of Two Realms”… I have never been more intrigued in a fic and its absolutely killing me AAHHH!! If you have the time, or ideas, I’d be forever grateful. Your writing is absolutely spectacular!! It encapsulates emotion so well, drawing me in like a typhoon 😵‍💫 /GEN !!

Awwww, thank you! I didn't really plan to do a second part of this since I wanted readers to create their own ending (loveless marriage vs. following your heart), but what can I say? I hate a sad ending, even if you choose it. So, this part has you choosing loki, perhaps some spicy scene, supportive Thor and living your life.

A Crown Of Two Realms Pt. 2

pairing: loki laufeyson x małe reader pairing: reader is set on loki, spicy scene (basically revelation of feelings), I just loved Loki's face here, like he looks quite innocent and adorable, anyway, loki hates himself, you strive to show him he's worthy

In the days after your eavesdropping of Loki and Thor's argument, you tried to distance yourself from the younger prince, hoping that avoiding each other would curb the tempest in your heart. Instead, it only made the longing sharper, more irresistible. That was the cruel paradox of it all: the very man you swore you couldn’t see again was the one you couldn’t stop thinking about.

One late afternoon, you were alone in one of the palace’s many colonnades, gazing across Asgard’s gleaming city. A soft breeze teased the edges of your ceremonial robe. The endless swirl of court responsibilities had left you little time to think, and yet here you were, thoughts anchored to one person alone: Loki.

You sensed Thor’s approach before he spoke—a shifting in the air and the distant echo of his surefooted stride. When you turned, he was already there, bright blue eyes studying you with an uncharacteristically thoughtful expression. “Has Asgard bored you so thoroughly?” he asked with a hint of a smile, though concern etched his brow.

“I wouldn’t say bored—just overwhelmed.”

Thor leaned against the nearest pillar, crossing his arms. “I fear I may be part of that overwhelm.” He glanced toward the horizon. “Sometimes, I wish these marriage negotiations were less complicated. It weighs on me, too.”

You stared at him, heart twinging with guilt. “Thor, I—”

He silenced you with a gentle wave of his hand. “Let me speak first. I’ve been thinking much since your arrival, and I’m not so blind as most people assume.” There was a sad twist to his grin. “You’re handsome, powerful, and wise—anyone would be honored to marry you. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t also taken by you.”

Surprise fluttered in your chest. Of all the things you expected Thor to say, that wasn’t it. “I’m flattered,” you replied quietly.

“But,” he continued, “I’ve seen the way your eyes wander during feasts—like you’re searching for something or someone.” Thor cleared his throat. "Our union guarantees peace between our families, but I'm not naive enough to believe my father’s match is the one your heart truly wants. And I will not be the one forcing you into a joyless union. That’s not how I want to rule, nor how I wish to live.”

For a moment, you could only stare. Of all the outcomes you’d dreaded, you never thought Thor would willingly step aside. “But what of Odin? The treaty?”

Thor squared his shoulders, determination burning in his gaze. “Leave Father to me. If the alliance stands by a marriage with Asgard’s royal bloodline, then it need not be me. I won’t pretend this is easy, but I’d rather see you and Loki happy than see us three torn apart by a forced bond.”

Emotion welled up in you—gratitude, relief, and lingering guilt. “Thor, I—I don’t know what to say.”

He gave a sad, yet sincere smile. “Say you’ll follow your heart. Go to Loki. He may be a stubborn fool at times, but I suspect you’re the one person who can convince him he’s worth loving.”

The weight that had settled over your shoulders since your arrival lifted, if only by a fraction. You clasped Thor’s forearm in gratitude. “Thank you.”

Thor nodded. “Now go. Quickly, before someone else demands your time.”

Without hesitation, you set off through the grand corridors, heart pounding with renewed purpose. At first, you checked the corridors and library where you’d often crossed paths with Loki in quieter moments. He wasn’t there. The banquet hall was alive with courtiers, but there was no trace of the dark-haired prince. Finally, you ventured to a secluded section of the palace gardens—a space often overlooked, where a trickling fountain stood surrounded by tall hedges.

You found him there, leaning against a carved marble ledge, staring into the water’s rippling reflection. The setting sun cast a gold halo around him, accentuating the angles of his face. Anxiety churned in your chest, but Thor’s words echoed in your mind.

You cleared your throat softly, stepping into view. Loki stiffened but didn’t turn around. “I wondered when you might show up,” he said, his voice cool, almost brittle.

Your chest tightened. “We should talk—”

“Oh, should we?” Loki let out a sharp, humorless laugh. “Let me guess: you’ve finally come to tell me everything is over, haven’t you? Perhaps the glorious Thor awaits, and you’re here to deliver my official dismissal.”

“That’s not—” You tried to interject, but Loki pressed on, eyes flashing with a raw, self-deprecating fury.

“Because that’s your duty, isn’t it?” he sneered. “To fulfill the alliance, marry my perfect brother, keep the Nine Realms content. And me? I’m the sideshow, the one you dallied with—”

“I didn’t—”

He cut you off again, voice cracking with hurt. “It’s cruel, you know, tempting me like that. Letting me believe—for a moment—that someone powerful and stunning as you could want the lesser prince. I was a fool to think otherwise.”

Blood pounded in your ears. “Loki, just listen—” But he wouldn’t. He hurled his pent-up anguish at you in a torrent of bitter words, each one slicing deeper than the last.

“Tell me, was it sport for you? Some fleeting interest in the ‘trickster,’ so you could see how far I’d chase after a dream?” His laughter was hollow, eyes shimmering with tears he wouldn’t let fall. “I almost let myself believe you saw more in me than everyone else does. But now, you’re here to confirm I was just deluding myself. Well, hurry up, then! Deliver your grand speech of sympathy, or pity, or whatever nonsense you’ve conjured—”

“Enough!” Your patience snapped, voice rising in a rare shout that echoed across the courtyard. Loki blinked in shock; you’d never raised your voice before.

Chest heaving, you advanced on him in three swift steps, your normally composed demeanor shattered. You seized Loki by the lapels of his cloak, yanking him closer. “You don’t know a damn thing about what I’m here to say,” you growled. His eyes widened, the tirade in his throat dying unspoken. Before he could counter, you closed the distance and pulled him into a bruising kiss.

At first, Loki stiffened in disbelief, a trembling exhale escaping against your lips. Then, as if gravity itself shifted, he melted into you, slender fingers clinging to your embroidered robes. Everything about him—his taste, the warmth of his skin—flooded your senses, drowning out the world.

Your heart thundered in your ears, and you pressed closer, the height difference letting you tilt his face up to deepen the kiss. He made a small, desperate sound, arms snaking around your waist as though afraid you might vanish.

When you finally tore your mouth away, your breathing was ragged. Loki’s chest rose and fell with equal intensity, his eyes brimming with confusion, longing, and a fragile hope.

“Why—” he rasped, voice unsteady, “why are you doing this?”

“Because I love you, you stubborn fool.” The words spilled out in an impassioned rush. You grasped his chin, forcing him to meet your gaze. “I spoke to Thor. He knows everything. He told me to come find you.”

Loki blinked rapidly, tears threatening to spill. “Thor—Thor knows?”

You nodded, thumbs brushing his cheeks. “He knows I never wanted this alliance with him. Not in the way Odin planned. He knows my heart belongs to you.”

His breath caught in his throat, tears threatening to spill over. “Do you realize what you’re risking?”

You answered by leaning down to kiss him again, gentler this time—an unspoken vow. “I know precisely what I’m risking. And for you, I’d risk more.”

Loki managed the faintest of smiles, a trembling little expression that held more hope than you’d ever seen on his face. Slowly, he looped his arms around your waist, resting his head against your chest. He was noticeably smaller under your protective hold, and it dawned on you how easily you could cocoon him from the rest of the world.

“You’re unbelievably stubborn,” he muttered, attempting a wry tone but failing to mask his emotion.

A relieved laugh rumbled low in your throat. “I could say the same about you, trickster.”

[thereoncewasagirlnamedjane]

OF ALL THE WAYS TO DIE.

PAIRING — hades!bucky barnes x human f!reader

CONTENTS — oneshot; alternate universe—ambiguous time period; inspired by greek mythology; inspired by the book thief; bittersweet ending; life and death; major character death; angst; fluff.

SUMMARY — A sparkling river you are forbidden to cross. An old wooden boat you are forbidden to ride. A mysterious man you can already feel you are forbidden to love. You do it all anyway.

WORD COUNT — 4.2k

✩ masterlist ✩ bucky barnes m.list ✩ library blog

ACT I: A River Enchanted

It is a fact that all things die eventually. Ah, please do not fret. You are the ones who haunt Death, after all.

Fortunately for you, it is very rarely the other way around.

I heard her before I saw her.

With each careful and almost hesitant step, her growing shadow slowly hid me from the warm late-summer sun.

And as I opened my eyes, my thoughts weren't that she was beautiful.

As I began to know her, they weren't that she was uncommonly lovely.

As I grew to love her, they weren't that she was somehow exactly how I imagined, the human I was destined to love singularly, a destiny shown to me by the Fates even though it was against the rules.

(But what care do the damned have for the rules, anyway?)

My thoughts were that she would die one day.

It's the world's natural order. It's the reason I exist. For thousands of years now, I have been charged to sit in judgment of what makes humans... well, human.

You are punished. You are rewarded. Either banished to darkness or bathed in light. And those decisions fall on my shoulders.

Even her, one day, no matter how hard I wished to prolong the inevitable.

Those are the thoughts that make me want to die sometimes.

But, in defiance of all the laws of nature, I cannot.

“Who are you?” You ask, clutching the straps of the straw-woven basket you wear on your back. 

He lies in the tall grass, parallel to a mysterious river. He has the fingers of his right hand closed around the stems of a few delicate white and purple flowers, looking like he’d been taking a nap. 

Or, rather, a little bit like your parents had right before they were lowered into the ground. 

Confused, you tilt your head slightly as you stare at him. The river, the boat floating atop its peaceful waters, and the flowers were not here when you came yesterday. 

Still, he doesn’t answer your question. He merely raises his free arm to fold it behind his head, closing his eyes once more and seemingly returning to sleep. 

Despite his dark robes, he seems to glow in the light of the yellow sun. You have a hard time believing he is even of this world. 

“Do you make a habit of watching people sleep?” He muses without opening his eyes. 

This time, it is your turn to ignore him. You turn on your heels, stepping back towards the edge of the clearing to check on the herbs and flowers growing there. You pluck a few plants from the dirt and toss them over your shoulder into your basket. 

He doesn’t speak but neither do you, even though you’ve got a sneaking suspicion that he’s not actually asleep. 

Your parents’ deaths had left you orphaned but not necessarily alone. The other villagers look out for you whenever they can, no matter how difficult times may be in this area, and everyone is always kind. 

Sometimes, however, kindness can be stifling. 

You smile to pretend like you aren’t lonely, like your cheeks aren’t stained with tears at night, like you don’t mind that it feels as though your life will never be quite as full now that your family has gone. 

This is your secret spot, where you go to let the sounds of nature, the songbirds’ sharp symphonies, just take away all the thoughts that steal the sleep from your grasp at night. 

It happens so gradually that it’s almost as if the clouds are passing over the sun. You are slowly engulfed in the darkness of a tall shadow and when you look up, he is looming over you, peering down into your basket. 

You didn’t even hear him get up. 

“Tea?” He asks, referring to the calendula flowers and mint leaves you’ve picked. You look away, cheeks warming, feeling oddly self-conscious all of a sudden as you nod your response wordlessly. 

He bends down, his face hovering right over your shoulder, and reaches out a hand to point at a nearby shrub of red fruit. “Try the rose hips.” 

You can see him out of the corner of your eye. He turns his head slightly to look at you, to make sure you’re paying attention. You don’t look back at him, but you follow his lead, wrapping your fingers around one of the fruit, squeezing a little to check for firmness. 

You pluck it from the bushes. You inspect it carefully, free hand already reaching for another. Even though you haven’t spoken, he can smell the berries in the air around you. 

“They make a nice jam, too.” 

You frown. His voice sounds impossibly far away. When you turn to look at him over your shoulder, you find yourself alone in the clearing with only the softly howling wind for company. 

The river and flowers are gone, and so is he. 

Like he had never been there at all. 

ACT II: A God’s Whimsy

Even if I couldn’t show her the colour of my own heart, I tried to tell her many times she was loved. 

The proof was in the pain she lived.

The resilience of the human spirit never ceases to astound me.

Somehow, there is still happiness to be found in the most terrible of sufferings. 

No matter what the Fates foresee, even though you are walking on a road of broken glass, you soldier on. Walking. Grasping. Hoping. 

You all shine so bright, like the sun and like the stars. It hurts my eyes, your golden-coloured hearts. 

And yet I am incapable of turning away. 

Did I ever shine the same way?

I mean, back when I was human like you? 

They call me a god now, but you are the ones I envy. 

But after that day, you start seeing him quite often whenever you venture into these parts. He’s always doing the same thing, napping among a field of apparently imaginary flowers. The same old wooden boat is docked at the riverbank, always unmoving and silent. 

You haven’t told anyone about him, lest they warn you against consorting with strange men. Lest they think you’ve lost your mind in the grief. 

Also, a part of you wonders if he himself is imaginary, too. But rather than being scared, you like the idea that he exists only in your mind. That, even for a brief moment, something out there is just yours. 

It takes a few more encounters before he reluctantly tells you his name. 

“What kind of name is Bucky?” You ask impulsively. You wince. You don’t mean it the way it sounds. 

He tells you more out of annoyance than anything else; you had been quite incessant. Still are, you suppose. It’s been a long time since anyone’s really given you the time of day, after all. 

You are eager for acknowledgement. 

“Well, that’s rude.” He says, but he doesn’t look very offended. In fact, he never looks anything at all. 

“I’m sorry.” 

“You don’t look very sorry.” And then he leans closer to examine your features, as if he’s genuinely curious, as if he’s not the one who often wears an indecipherable mask. 

Your basket full of aromatic herbs and fragrant flowers sits abandoned at the edge of the clearing. The vibrant red rose hips sit on the very top of your loot, having made its way into your regular rotation after that first day. 

He is once again lying in the grass. These days, though, you sit much closer to him. 

“Why is the river only here when you are?” You ask, despite knowing how utterly stupid it sounds. 

“Don’t be silly,” he says in that tone of voice that used to frustrate you, like he knows so much more than he will ever tell you. “How can an entire river just disappear?” 

The tone doesn’t bother you much anymore. You’re used to it now and there is a strange comfort in that. It’s been a long time since you’ve known anyone long enough to get used to anything. 

“It does, though.” You reach out a hand to skim your fingers along the water’s surface, but he is suddenly closing around your wrist. He is such an enigma; he often moves without being seen or heard. 

“Be careful, will you?” He warns before letting you go. “Don’t touch it.” 

“Why not?” But he fails to elaborate. In a moment of frustration, you turn and pull a handful of grass from the earth to throw it at him. It simply falls harmlessly over his face. 

“The sun is setting. You should go home.” 

“I don’t want to.” You cringe after you say it, hating the way it makes you sound like a spoiled child. 

“Why not?” It seems you both take turns asking each other questions that go unanswered, because you turn away from him and keep your lips pressed together. 

Sometimes, his brows furrow in mild irritation while you speak, but you have a feeling it’s not because he dislikes it when you do. In fact, it seems to unsettle him when you fall silent. You have a feeling he can practically see all the grey and dreary thoughts swirling around in your head. 

“Will you walk with me?” You ask hopefully, although you don’t look away from the river. Are you hoping that maybe, if the other villagers saw you with a friend, they would stop looking at you with such pity and sadness? 

“I can’t,” he responds. For a moment you might think he sounds almost regretful. “I have to leave.” 

“Where do you live?” You call him your friend, although never out loud and only to yourself in the safety of your own mind, but you don’t know much about him. In fact, it dawns on you that you know nothing at all. 

“Somewhere you cannot go, I’m afraid.” 

“Wha—” Your face warms. “I didn’t want to, anyway!” You retort stubborn, turning around to face him. He’s sitting up in the grass now, staring back at you with eyes you can never quite interpret. “Honestly, Bucky, what a way to speak to a lady.” 

Sometimes, you think he might be making fun of you. Sometimes, there’s a twinkle in his eyes, despite the inscrutable look on his face. You think you might see the subtle signs of a smile, but it’s either gone before you can even properly catch it or it’s so faint you’re always tricked into thinking you’ve imagined it. 

But you think you see hints of it now, that elusive smile of his. You’d like very much to know how it might look on him. Do the corners of his eyes crinkle when he does? How would those unworldly eyes of his sparkle if you, of all people, could ever make him laugh? Would the sound of his laughter rival the musical notes of summer? 

“My. What was I thinking, indeed,” he says, his voice laced with humour even though his features remain impassive. “I do apologize, m’lady.” 

Your cheeks heat up to the point where you’re sure even the sun is no match. You stand abruptly, turning on your heels to retrieve your basket, heart hammering so loudly you are certain he can hear it. You struggle with the desire to run away, to run toward him, all at the same time. 

“I’m going home,” you announce, almost as if you need the push. Some verbal encouragement. “Try not to take it too hard if I get carried off by coyotes or something.” 

“You’ll be fine.” It sounds like he’s smiling. You try not to look too eager as you toss one last look at him over your shoulder. Even though you hadn’t heard him move, he is already in that boat and halfway across the river. 

Even so, you hear him still, as if his voice travels with the wind. 

“What a silly girl you are.” 

ACT III: Of All the Ways to Die

You blame me for all the beauty that leaves your world, for the reason your love has nowhere left to go. I promise not to take this personally.

You are correct, after all.

Because a very long time ago, I was a soldier. 

A very long time ago, they changed me. 

A very long time ago, the Underworld was full of anguished souls only because I sent them there with my own two hands. 

The story goes that my brother tricked me, so that he could rule the skies while I languished in the land of the dead. 

But the truth is, he tried to stop me. The god who was once known as Steve is still, after all these years, incapable of such wicked conspiracy, after all. 

The truth is, I volunteered. 

Because even before I became what I am now, death followed me wherever I went. 

Who better to sympathize with the dearly departed than the Winter Soldier? The one responsible for so much slaughter and so much destruction? 

And unfortunately for me, the Lord of the Dead must keep his heart.

So many years and so many souls. I remember every single one.

Would you believe me when I say that all of them cross the River in my arms? 

I made a vow to carry you all.

And because the first time she died, I blamed myself too.

The next time you go to your secret meeting place, something strange happens: the river is there but he isn’t. 

You stand at the edge of the riverbank, peering into the eerily still crystal clear waters. You look past your own reflection, seeing right down to the bottom. There are no fish, there are no plants, there are zero signs of life. 

He isn’t here this time to remind you not to touch it. The sun beams relentlessly down on you, making the water look all the more enticing. The hidden cicadas in the nearby trees seem to spur you on, their hums growing louder and louder and louder as you reach out your hand. 

The moment your fingertips dip into the water, something hauls you forward. You don’t even have the time to scream before you fall in with a splash, breath stolen from your lungs, eyes closing out of reflex. 

Your clothes, now heavy with water, weigh you down despite how hard you kick your legs against the current, one that had been invisible to the eye while you were on the surface. 

You open your eyes and it’s chaos. 

It’s calamity. 

A ghostly-looking woman has her bony fingers around your wrist. Her mouth is open in a silent scream, but you hear it anyhow over the rush of the waves. Ghoulish. Terrible. Echoing. 

You try to pull yourself from her grip, but she seems determined to drag you down with her—to where, you still aren’t sure. You look around, the previously clear river now murky with creatures you can’t quite name. 

They look just like you. Like they are human. But something tells you they are not. At least, not anymore. 

More hands claw at you, your head now full of thoughts and voices that aren’t your own. You struggle, but all you do is take in more water, your lungs burning for air. 

Let me out! I beg of you! I repent! I confess my sins!

Let this girl take my place!

A soul for a soul.

Everything slows. Your eyelids grow heavy. 

How is it possible to drown in a river that doesn’t exist? Will you ever be found? Will Bucky ever show up in the field of flowers and wonder where you are? Will he ever miss you? 

Lord Hades! Please have mercy! Won’t you please have mercy?!

A hand reaches into the water. Your eyes close. 

The world goes dark. 

ACT IV: We All Mourn the Dead

Funny how I am feared by most in existence, yet she, as small and as fleeting as she was, struck fear in my own heart.

Thoughts like, what if she discovers who I really am?

I have been invisible to you humans for so long. What if she doesn’t like what she sees? 

I wondered, as she sat next to me in that field of green so many times, when the time for her to see up close and personal what it is I do, will she loathe me a little less or a little more? 

“I don’t loathe you,” she would say on the day of her judgment. 

But you see, she had once, in the name of her parents. 

You all do, in the name of those you love. 

I am tasked to see your kind at your best and at your worst, but you must rest assured that it is never one or the other. Somehow, every last one of you always manages to be both.

Strange how it is only after I lost my own humanity that I find myself understanding the delicate paradoxes of life a little better. 

Ugly and beautiful. Good and evil. Frightening and comforting. 

I wonder if that brings you any comfort. It does to me.

I sent her to the field of swaying flowers, where she is allowed to watch the golden sun lower below the horizon for the rest of time—where there is no pain, no sorrow, no time, and no longing.

No, those shall always be my burdens to bear. 

For her now, there is only beauty and tenderness. Peace.

It is the same place I had sent her parents. They may not remember each other there, but at least they are together again.

When hers was the soul I looked into, while I saw all the same flaws and imperfections of her fellow man, I couldn’t help but think that all of it was good. 

I have searched and searched, but never again found another soul quite like hers. 

And then I am reminded that this is what it means to love. 

When you come to, you feel yourself lying on something hard, unlike the soft patch of grass you’re used to. Squinting against the bright rays of the sun, you raise your hand to block them out. 

Someone moves to do it for you. 

Upon recognizing the face looming above you, eyes the colour of the cloudless sky, you try to speak but you sputter and choke, coughing up more water. 

“Silly girl,” he hisses, sounding angry and desperate. When your vision comes back into focus, his eyes are blazing. He scolds you like one would an unruly child. “You’ve been told not to touch the water. What were you trying to do?” 

You prop yourself up on your elbow, looking around to see that you’re in the boat. His boat. His hand is on your back, fingers spread, warm to the touch even though the material of your dress. But even so, you can’t stop shivering. 

He is missing an arm. 

Your friend glares into the previously disturbed waters, the fingers of his remaining hand tightening over the edge of the boat. 

This is why the ferryman normally responsible for this vessel warns him that their kind should never cross the River for such arbitrary reasons. It is why those who live in the realm of the dead must stay there. 

By now, he should know that humans are curious by nature. 

They are unable to let the mysterious go unexplained. 

They seek knowledge. 

They crave love. 

And it seems that the Lord of the Underworld has grown curious himself. A curiosity that almost cost an innocent human her life long before her time. Such an event would have greatly upset the balance of the universe, not to mention the Fates themselves. 

He shudders. He loathes to think what they might do to him if they knew, if they haven’t found out already.

“What happened?” You ask, hand ghosting over where his left arm used to be. 

The souls sentenced to an eternal drowning in the River refused to return you without a price, to be paid by the one who put them there. How devious. 

A fee must be paid, after all, when crossing the River Styx. He supposes it has been rather hypocritical of him to have done otherwise all this time. 

Very well. 

He steeled himself before reaching into the water, unflinching when they took his arm, his eyes focused solely on you. At the very least, they stayed true to their word. 

They passed you along until you were floating towards the surface, the moment you came close enough he curled his other arm around you to pull you free. 

“I’m sorry,” you whisper. 

It was not a difficult decision to make. 

Besides, it was not the first time he had ever lost an arm. 

“It was not your time.” He brushes a lock of still-wet hair from your face, his fingers tracing invisible lines against your cheek. 

And yet you are on the wrong side of the River. 

On this side, the flowers still grow, the trees are still vibrant with coloured leaves, and the waters are still motionless. But somehow, everything is different. 

Because while the sun still glows just above the horizon, there is no warmth. There are no sounds. No singing birds. No buzzing cicadas. No chirping crickets. Here, everything is dead silent. 

Or perhaps just dead. 

Except for you. 

“Who are you, really?” You ask, everything absolutely still as you sit up. The River has gone back to being strangely tranquil, not even a ripple or a single wave to be seen or heard. The things you had just seen in there are once more invisible to your human eyes. 

“How strange. You humans really do enjoy asking questions you already know the answer to.” His eyes soften, his remaining arm still wrapped around you as he pulls you forward, allowing you to seek warmth against his chest. 

Your first impression of him was right after all. He is not of this world, never has been. 

They called him Lord Hades. 

The guardian of souls. Ruler of the Underworld. 

You already know, but you pull away to look at him and say, “Tell me.” 

“I’ve caught quite the daring little water nymph, haven’t I?” You suppose it is daring for a mere mortal like yourself to demand the name of a god. 

But you aren’t imagining it this time. There is a tiny hint of a smile there, one corner of his lips curving up ever so slightly, so faint that it is barely noticeable. 

You notice. 

“I’m not dead yet, then?” You ask. The Underworld isn’t quite like you imagined. It is much more beautiful than the myths and bedtime stories had told. 

“No. Shall I congratulate you on being the first still-living being to step foot into the land of the dead?” He knows he shouldn’t, but he steps out of the boat and extends his hand towards you. “Come and walk with me.” 

You comply. For hands so small, it seems you hold the entire world in your palms. He clutches them in his one larger one, his whispering breath caressing your forehead, your cheeks, and your lips, as he assures you the loss of one limb is nothing. 

He wipes your river of tears away. He replaces them with streams of gentle kisses, his lips plush and soft against your skin. 

He assures you it is nothing compared to how long he must wait to see you again. He knows he must never reveal the River to you anymore, not until your time has come. It is what he must do to protect you, to protect all of you. 

After today, he won’t see you again for a while. A human life is normally but a blink of an eye for him, but this time, he already knows time will pass slowly. 

And even when he does see you again, the reunion shall not last long. 

When the time for separation has come, he takes you back across the water. He drops you off at the embankment, pulls out a flower from inside the folds of his robes and tucks it behind your ear. 

He tells you to look away as he leaves you. He tells you not to look back. Of course, you listen. 

The portal between worlds close. 

His arm wasn’t the price for crossing the river. He returns to the Underworld missing his heart.

This is the beginning of what will feel like an endless longing.

This is the price he pays for crossing the river. 

For loving a human. For loving you.

THE FINAL ACT: A Field of Swaying Flowers

Is it terrible of me to say that, the second time she died, I breathed a sigh of relief? 

When it is time for me to collect her, she did what no one else does upon seeing me. 

She smiled and welcomed me with open arms.

While I had her in my embrace, the journey across the River seemed to take a little longer. 

Perhaps it was because I had willed it to. Or, even likelier, perhaps Styx took pity on me. 

Her soft cheek rested against mine. “Please, don’t forget me.” 

I held her tighter, forcing out a joke from behind a rapidly closing throat. “Forget you? When you’re the reason I only have one arm?” 

She still laughed, the silly girl. 

I should have just told her. 

Did you know? Millions of souls, and yet I remember all of you. 

But I am sorry. It is the duty of a god, especially one in my position, to love all humans the same. 

I truly must apologize. 

She is no longer here, but it seems that I love one most of all.

fin.

© 2024 by thereoncewasagirlnamedjane. do not repost, translate, or copy to third party sites. no part of this work may be fed into any AI software or websites. minors are asked not to interact with my blog; you are responsible for your own media consumption. followers with zero engagement, serial likers, and blank/ageless blogs will be blocked.

[seilnakyle]

hi, i hope you're having a good day. sorry if you've answered this already, but since you're the expert around here🫶🏼, i wanted to ask if you had any panels of the moments talia was an asshole to dick or just her thoughts about him. people tend to be so "haha he hates her because he's jealous of her relationship with damian" but i think it's very reasonable and justified his dislike and distrust of her

Aww tysm for calling me the expert haha 🤓 🫶🏻 I always try my best to be accurate, and I’m definitely not trying to spread unnecessary hate to a female character, but I do side eye her stans who try to justify her treatment of Dick when he is a teen as being his fault. Characters are allowed to be flawed, and Talia is literally a cult victim. Her not being the most moral and empathetic person is not unreasonable.

just first thing first, Dick is most definitely not jealous of Talia’s relationship with Damian…if anything, it would be the other way around lol

Dc Festival of Heros: The Asian Superhero Celebration

Second, Damian was but a sparkle in Bruce Wayne’s eyes when the Talia beef started. And YES these following panels are all pre 9/11 pre Grant Morrison moments :)

SO! First interaction Dick had w the Al Ghuls is when they sent some of their goons to shoot and kidnap him near his college.

Batman (1940) #232

Ras goes to Bruce and says that Talia has conveniently also been kidnapped (this is a lie) presumably by the same people, so the two of them head off on a mountain adventure to rescue their kids together. But when they finally get to Robin, Bruce reveals that he’s been onto Ras since the beginning and isn’t falling for it

Then after Bruce and Dick fight some goons, Ras and Talia walk out revealing that this whole crazy quest was a ploy to…get Batman together with Talia? I guess.

This issue ends here and the “cliffhanger” is never followed up on. Though the Al Ghuls do later drug Bruce and force him to participate in a marriage ceremony with Talia that ends with Bruce deciding it’s not valid bc he didn’t actually consent, and then he punches her out. Keep in mind, this happens before Dick’s next meeting w the Al Ghuls. There is one story where Dick and Talia actually work together to save a young monarch from falling to his death (genuinely a good story for Talia, she displays actual unselfish empathy for people outside her own circle) but In that entire story I don’t think they speak to or acknowledge each other a single time, so I can’t really read into any of that for how they feel abt one another.

But okay, thats the setup for why Dick is immediately upset when she pops back up unannounced in Batman #330, but from the moment she gets back, it really seems like she just wants Dick out of the way.

Then in Batman #331, she shows up wanting to move in, Dick immediately hates this, and expects Bruce to take his side, when he doesn’t, Dick is very upset and leaves the manor literally as fast as he can. Talia however, is very pleased to see him go.

I often like to go back and look at old readers letters/editor comments for situations like this just to get some thoughts untouched by the hindsight. Unsurprisingly from what I could find, most seem to sympathize more with Robin here and were equally suspicious of Talia’s intentions.

Dick goes to Selina for help after being abandoned by Batman, and of course she’s down!

During their team up, they have this moment where they’re being tortured and Talia sees them, she has zero reaction to Batman’s son being hurt like this, and moves along like she didn’t see shit

Batman #334

And her character of course becomes a mess after Damian is introduced but suffice to say, yeah, they still hate each other

[star-41306]

Reckless Driving

‘What’s his motive? Lucas has said he’s one of the good ones, right?’

Before

I didn't mean to kiss you I mean I did, but I didn't think it'd go this far

The lunchroom is packed today. Mike, Dustin and I are sitting in our usual spot in the corner, El and Max sitting at the opposite table engrossed in their own conversation. I’m helping Mike with his Spanish 3 class, asking him the prompts on the cards with my decent speaking ability, when Mike says in English, “Man, this Spanish test is gonna kick my ass.” 

Mike wallows in his self-pity, burying his head against the leftover flashcards in his hands.

“When is Spanish not kicking your ass?” Dustin comments, right when I say, “Come on Mike. It’s not that bad. Let's try again.”

Mike glares at Dustin, then with a lighter look says to me, “Okay, yeah. You’re right.” He pauses to sigh, then says, "What would I do without my favorite tutor?” Mike gives me a sincere smile. I feel redness grow on my face at his words. ‘Get it together, Will.’

“Fail?” Dustin quips with a self-satisfied look, fork in hand. It turns into a grimace as he feels Mike stomp on his shoe. “Hey! Am I wrong?” 

I tune out the rest of their bickering, sensing something. Feeling watched, I turn my head to the side. I vaguely recognize the eyes looking back at me. I glance at the rest of the people at the table, spotting Lucas next to the person staring. ‘Chance,’ It hits me.

Every Friday, Lucas sat with his basketball friends, Chance being one of them. My eyes bounce between Chance and Lucas, unable to maintain eye contact with his heavy stare. My eyebrows furrow. ‘Why is he looking at me like that?’

He abruptly looks away as one of the other Basketball players says something to him. I decide to do the same. ‘Weird.’ 

I didn't mean to kiss you Now you can't focus on the road when I'm in your car

I listen to the rest of Mike and Dustin's dispute until the bell rings. 

“Saved by the bell!” Is what Dustin ends on. As we all grab our bags and Mike packs up his study gear, I feel eyes on me again. I try to ignore them as we walk to our lockers, but it ends up a difficult feat when I hear the recognizable voice of Lucas behind us. 

“Yeah dude, I’m not sure. Christian Academy has definitely gotten better over the years. I’m kinda freaked for this upcoming game.” Chance nods in reply.

The two of them catch up as we make it to our destination. Chance leans his side against the wall, waiting for something.

“Hey guys.” Lucas acknowledges, turning the pad of the lock on his locker.

“Hey man.” Mike responds, fiddling with his own lock.

I would give a comment back, but I’m struck by the same eyes from earlier still staring. Goosebumps raise on my neck. ‘Creepy.’ I think, opening up my locker to grab a canvas and some other things for my upcoming art class.

Now we're going 100 Your hands aren't on the wheel 'Cause you're just staring at me like you're not convinced that I am real

 I’m spun up in my thoughts when Mike's soothing voice hits my ears. “Hey, Will. I’ll see you later, okay?” I glance at Mike's slightly concerned look and give him a reassuring one. “See you later,” I wave goodbye.

I hear the rest of them make their exits. I’m stuck juggling all my supplies, when a note appears on the shelf in front of my face. I turn my head to the culprit, seeing him walk away after shooting me a discreet wink. ‘Okay, that's Really Weird.’ My curiosity gets the best of me. I set my stuff back down with a sigh, reading the note with wide eyes.

Byers,

Meet me after school 

Picnic table behind the school at 2:30

-Chance

I go through the rest of the day slightly paranoid. ‘Why the hell does he want to meet up with me?’ I ask myself during final period. I thought back to the last few years. After Lucas made it with the popular kids and I came back with a sweet tan and cool stories from California, the bullying dialed down by a lot. Yeah, there are still lingering rumors, but I haven't been pushed or shoved in maybe 2 years. ‘What’s his motive? Lucas has said he’s one of the good ones, right?’

Once the last bell of the day rings, I’ve made my decision. ‘Really, what’s the worst that could happen?’ I walk out of the building, backpack on, picking the paint flakes left on my nails from earlier. ‘That one’s gonna stain,’ I think.

I grab my bike and guide it through the grass, then find the trail that leads to the Picnic table. Nervously staring at the ground, I prepare myself for what's to come. ‘Here goes nothing I guess.’ 

As I trek down the path, I spot the table in the clearing. ‘Empty.’

I prop up my bike on a tree and then check my watch. ‘2:30’ it says. ‘I guess i’ll wait’

It’s 2:35 when I hear the rustling of a bush.

“Byers, you showed,” Chance says casually, hands shoved in his lettermen's' pockets

“Uh. Yeah. What is this about?” I try to respond the same, but I’m unable to hide my nervous energy.

“Nothing much. I just have a favor to ask.” ‘Favor?’ 

“What kind of favor? Do you need, like, a tutor or something?” I think back to mike because ‘When am I not.’ 

He chuckles, shaking his head “uh, no, nothing like that.” He’s playful in his reply. I grow more confused. Picking at the paint again, I finally get out, “Then.. What is it?”

There's a pause, then a breath, and then Chance says something I’d never expected.

“I just wanted to see if the rumors were true” I feel the blood leave my face. We are enveloped in silence; the only sound is the wind swaying the trees.

Wanting to escape the silence, I say, “What?” quite enough I’m afraid he can’t hear me.

“The rumors. Are they true?” He appears careless, but I can tell from his surveying that he’s just as nervous as I am.

“I don’t know what you're talking about,” Is what I say, Even if I definitely do. 

“You’re gay, right? Look man, I won't tell anyone.” Chance still looks around nervously, then, “I’m kind of... In the same boat.”

“You’re, you’re what?” The blood comes back to my face. ‘What did he just say?’

“That's what this is about. I figured if anybody, you at least, might understand.” He looks at the ground, ashamed.

“Oh,”

“Yeah.”

Silence. Very awkward silence. I decide to be the one to break it.

“So, the favor... What. what do you mean?” I grow nervous again. Chance makes me uneasy even with the reveal. A favor could mean a lot of things.

“I was thinking. Maybe you would want to, I don't know, come over or something. My parents shouldn’t be home for a couple hours. Nobody would find out,”

‘I’m going insane. Some sort of wizard must have cast a spell on me, and this is some kind of fucked up vision.’

“Look. I know this is weird. But I figured you might be up for it. Y'know, being one of the only rumored queers in town. It’s not like you try to hide it” Okay, I should say no, especially with that last comment. But then he says,

“Just think about it. When's the next time you'll get some action like this?” And he has a point. Before today, I had felt completely alone. The only gay guy in Hawkins. 

And now we're at 180 And I can finally see But then it's over in a second, crashed the car into the tree

I’m desperately trying to get over Mike. Maybe this is my chance. ‘Ha. Chance.’ 

After much debating, I say, “Okay.” If Chance is surprised, he doesn’t show it. 

“Okay.” He looks at me with that weird stare again. ‘Maybe this is a mistake. I mean, I still don’t know what he wants from me besides coming over.’

“Just kissing, alright? I’m not. I don’t want to do anything else.” Chance looks surprised by that, not expecting me to say his motives out loud.

“Yeah, sure. We can just make out.”

“Cool”

“Uh huh. Yeah. Just,” Chance looks over to the bike “Bike over in about 30. Leave it on the side of the house behind the bushes. I don’t want anyone to see.”

“Sure.”

Yeah, I can see it all happen You'd rather die than take your eyes off me

“Okay,” Chance walks up to me, looks around paranoid, then grabs my face quick. I have no time to think before his lips hit mine. My eyes are left open in shock. ‘My first kiss.’

“I’ll see you, yeah?” He backs up, looking sheepish. He hands me a paper from his pocket with his address and a short description of his house. I’m stunned but manage to get out a short, “Yeah.”  

He leaves quickly through the bushes, and I’m left with my sentiments. ‘What just happened?’

I stand there for I don’t know how long. I realize I need to get going before I lose precious time. I look at the address one more time before grabbing my bike and heading to his house. On the way, my internal monologue is a mess. 

‘What if someone finds out? Bad idea. This is a BAD IDEA. Do I even like Chance like that? I don’t even know the guy all that much. I mean, he is attractive. With his dark hair, tan skin, and lean muscles. Okay, definitely attractive. But Mike… What the hell do you mean, ‘but mike,’? You are trying to GET OVER HIM. There is no way he likes you like that. I mean, he dated El freshman year! He’s straight as an arrow,'

‘Finally.' 

I see his house standing tall in the middle of the neighborhood. It towers over me as I approach. I slip off of my bike and quickly tuck it in the bushes next to the house. I make a brisk walk to the front door, ringing once and glancing around at the rest of the houses.

I don't love you like that I'm a careful driver And I tell you all the time to keep your eyes on the road But you love me like that You're a reckless driver And one day it'll kill us if I don't let go

Chance answers, pulling me in fast, and glances around in the same manner. Then he closes the door and locks us in. 

“Hey Byers. Long time no see.” He shoots me a wink.

“Uh, yeah, sure.” I give a small laugh. He chuckles back.

“Alright, this way.”

---

AN: This is officially pt.0!! The rest will be moving forward. Thank you!! If you would like to be tagged for future uploads, please comment!

Tags: @udkmehahaha @ode-to-berlermo

(pt.1) (pt.2)

[joeloverture]

thoughts on using the word papi in fic? i’ve heard it’s fine but that was the opinion from white woman i’d rather hear from a latina

hi honey, thanks for coming to an actual latina instead of a ww and being willing to learn ❤️ short answer: it’s not fine. long answer below the cut

disclaimer: i don’t speak spanish! i speak only scraps of conversational nahuatl and can read a semi decent amount of spanish but i grew up speaking a teeeeny bit of spanish before my family decided to go english only. essentially, im a no sabo as my parents wanted to protect me from being brown. (self hating parents i swear)

i did go to some of my spanish speaking babes to know how to approach this ask, because while i do understand how we are fetishized, i have never been fetishized for speaking spanish or the lack thereof ( @gothcsz and @ovaryacted thank yall for the input!! go follow them they’re my darlings)

i do think there’s more nuance to it than “AUGH NO RACISM NOT FINE” and “oh this is alright!” there’s a biiiiiig gap between those two things and a bridge between those two things. where you land is as a result of several factors. i don’t think running to chase someone who uses papi in a fic is the move, but rather a gradual acknowledgment of how to improve. because in this fandom we all have to acknowledge we’re writing for a latino man, who, at the end of the day, has been reduced from his talented/powerhouse performances to “papi chulo” or “papito” in tiktok comments. it’s another repetition of the pattern of how we are reduced to our capability to sexually satisfy others.

i know latinas who call their partners papi. i know latinas who don’t call their partners papi— primarily because it’s something they call their fathers and thus makes them uncomfortable. too close to home, y’know? i do not know white girls who call their partners papi.

i was thinking about it like this two days ago when you sent this ask over. if i had a french partner i wouldn’t be going “oui oui baguette” or calling him père. (cut to me being confused when my dom tries to talk dirty to me in spanish and im there like 😶 bc idk a damn thing he’s saying!!) i think people often find another language hot because of the commodification of having an accent, but this is amplified if it is from a person of color. i also don’t tend to think it’s a WW’s place to write papi into their fics, but especially say “oh it’s fine!” that’s… weird to me. because why are they speaking instead of us? to excuse themselves? most likely.

anyway— let me know if you need clarification; this is all over the place lmao

[ciels-best-fit]

The people have asked so here are my thoughts of the tournament!! Please enjoy~ 💫

Why a fashion tournament?

Ok so confession time: i actually had the fashion tournament idea for... someone else (ˉ▽ˉ；)........(ㆆxㆆ) hehe

But I like Ciel just as much!! o(≧口≦)o And I always planned to do one for him eventually. In the end, I decided to do his first, because I thought it would be more fun for the fandom. And I didn't want to wait until the manga starts again and worry about new outfits. Turns out my foresight was spot on~ (´∀｀；)

Making the tournament

So as you all can guess, this is my first tournament I've put together! There were a few bumps along the way, but it was fun ride the whole time! I really struggled with the banners at the start. I'm haunted by that first one, it was sooo bad (>ლ). I'm glad I've gotten better at designing them now tho:

I really liked this one I did for the submission form.

But ig my promoting didn't reallly work? (-＿-)... I think at the most, only two people submitted to our form. But I'm really grateful towards them! If it weren't for those submissions I probably would have given up, so everyone say thank you!🎉🎉

Second confession! I know literally nothing about fashion ( ꩜///꩜;). So imagine how much of a struggle it was writing up all the propaganda. Technically, I could have left it alone... but because of the few submissions we received did get propaganda, I felt bad to erase them so I... wrote propaganda for the rest of the 132 outfits... yeah... 🙃

That's also the reason why I didn't hide the propaganda under a read-more link because I wanted yall to read it. I didn't waste nights hunched over my laptop to be ignored!! (also why this isn't under a read more hehe)

Finding all those images were quite hard as well! Most of these outfits I remembered, but locating them? And finding good resolutions? (´□`; 三 ;´□`). I also had to reformat them to fit side by side on the post, which took a lot of editing day-by-day (I sure was glad when we hit final bracket....)

But enough about me, lets talk about the tournament!!

Tournament polls

I had so much fun making them. The outfits were assorted randomly, but I did make some pairings for fun (lion vs cat, turkey vs rooster).

Looking at the final competiors of the brackets, it seems the fandom really likes Ciel's fanciful, gothic outfits, that reflect Kuro's dark regal nature. I hoped more of the fun outfits would win... I'm suprised though, I thought the manga outfits would be more popular, like Ciel's Circus Costume, just based of iconicness, but between the artbooks and the celebration illustrations there was strong competition all around.

However, it was nice to see the fandom vote for outfits Ciel shone in, rather than outfits he hated or felt uncomfortable wearing (ie. the emerald witch dress vs the pink dress). Like attitude is essential in fashion! Compared to outfits where Ciel feels... out of touch or just posing, ones where he shows off his spirit really speaks to us.

⚠️skip ahead if opinions scare you1!!⚠️

I HATED THIS OUTFIT. And its so ridiculous, I developed a special hatred for this outfit that has nothing to do with it's design. I was tasked to find an image of almost every outfit in this tournament and this is the ONLY ONE I could not a higher resolution of. It drives me nuts! I can't stand it winning with all those blurry details! It just reminds me of my failure!!

Now I can totally see why it's so popular. It shows how far Yana has come with her art. Sorry for being mean against everyone's second favorite outfit (~_~;) Technically, it did win best outfit based off the polls! (special illustrations non-withstanding) And I get why!

But... it's just not to my taste. The color scheme is dull, there isn't really a theme, it's just a bunch of emblems placed all over. The details are amazing, but again, it's sooo blurry idc. Great outfit, but it doesn't really scream Ciel's best fit to me, y'know. Like where's his personality? I just... 💤

Same note why I didn't care about the figurine illustration. BOH-ring, ayfkhdsfasdf it looks like every outfit he ever wore combined, in a bad way.

And Kuro's Back Baby isn't even an outfit? You barely see anything?? How did it get that far... (guess we're that happy about his comeback lol).

Ok ok that's enough hating, but I'm going to make a separate post of my favorite outfits so yall can roast me there haha~

Conclusion

I was a little worried about doing this tournament, I mean, I've seen some poll tournaments go bad like BAD bad. But the atmosphere was surpisingly nice? I really liked reading everyone's analysis and comments, and how much they loved each outfit. So grateful to do this with everyone, hope to see you next time as well! ( ´∀`)/~~

I have future plans for this blog, which I'll discuss in a separate post, so stay tuned!