#also my boss is going away for almost a month soon which is not great timing + i feel guilty for asking about progression recently (just to

[terpia]

Why do I get anxious about things I should technically be happy for? I just applied for a dream job (or at least it will be a dream job if I can confirm it's possible to extend the contract length), and it seems that the turnaround for interviews/getting hired will be very fast if I do get selected. I do think I have a decent chance of getting selected. I have been increasingly tired of my current role for a while now and I'm very much ready for something new. Yet the thought of handing in my resignation to my manager makes me want to vomit.

[anylady-fics]

Red lights | Hyunjin x F Reader x Bang Chan

• Red lights Mlist

II - Without you being right by my side

The week was pretty weird, but at least Hyunjin seemed happy with his new job, and I started to feel bad about not being able to work somewhere better, so I began looking eagerly. Chris was giving me a bit of support, which I didn't expect, but it was welcome.

At least once a day, I had a few minutes to freak out about breaking up with Chris, but I knew I would be stuck in that situation for a while, at least until I felt stable enough. There were a few things to do before that, too. I had already searched for a few apartments and people needing roommates, just to start moving forward.

Chris noticed I was a bit distant in the last few days and started to act differently somehow. He sent me a box of chocolates and a card at my job, something he had never done before during all the time we’ve been together. I really believed that could be some sign of him turning into someone better, but I was wrong, as expected.

Before realizing that mistake, I really tried hard to bring back the fun and excitement in our relationship that we had in the beginning. I tried wearing some lingerie for him since we fucked almost every night and it was basically the only time his attention was fully on me. He noticed, praised, and fucked me without even taking it off or being careful at all… he ripped my new lacy panties, so I gave up on trying that.

I also tried using some toys, like a butt plug or a small vibrator for my clit, but he didn’t like it at all, telling me that he could do all of that by himself. For the first time in months, he gave me head, and it was really good… it was a shame that he only did it because he got insecure about the toys. So yeah, I failed again at trying.

I was feeling down for trying so hard; it was tiring. It’s really awful when just one side is trying to make a relationship work, be it a friendship, family, or love relationship.

Since Hyunjin and I worked the same hours, we started to leave the apartment together, because we were getting the same bus to go to and come back from work. He talked to me a lot, sharing things about his day, and I was doing the same. Because of that, I realized that I knew more about his life than Chris’s, which was weird. I was trying to get closer to my boyfriend, but it was hard… and with his friend, it was so easy and natural…

Over the weekend, Chris went out to run some errands and finally tackled the grocery list that had been neglected all week. I took the opportunity to clean up the place, and Hyunjin helped me with that. We finished pretty fast, then sat on the balcony to rest a little. It was the first time I had some help with domestic chores, and it was fun... but also sad that Chris never did it.

“The office is huge. I have a good shot of staying there if I graduate soon enough.”

“Did you go back to studying?”

“Yeah! Yesterday, actually.”

“Hyunjin, this is so great! I’m sure you’ll get a good position there.”

“Speaking of that…” He pressed his lips into a thin line before finishing what he was saying. “She was dropping some hints about me having a girlfriend… Did you tell her that I have one?”

I froze, and started to think of a thousand lies to justify myself, but I decided to just tell him the closest thing to the truth.

“I may have…”

“And why?” He took a sip of the water he was holding, and I tried to look away from his lips when I realized I was staring at them.

“Because it would be really inappropriate if she hit on you. She is your boss, kinda…”

“I agree with you, I wouldn’t let that happen, because I really wanted the job. You didn’t have to lie…”

“I’m so sorry…”

“It’s okay. It’s our secret, I guess.” He winked at me, being absolutely charming. “Should we order some food today?”

“I think we should. We’re soooo tired from cleaning up.”

“I think we should grab a beer, too. Would Chris mind?”

I shook my head no, and he stood up to grab the cans, opening mine first and handing it to me. We kept talking for a while, and I started to feel the alcohol after the third can. I felt really light and happy, and Hyunjin was smiling a lot at me, making me a bit dizzy with his beauty.

“There you are.” Chris got home, opening the balcony door, and I felt my smile fading. “I bought what you asked for, babe. What are we going to eat for dinner today?”

“We were thinking about ordering something, since we don’t have anything ready,” I mumbled, feeling the alcohol more, and ignoring how Chris was looking with contempt at the beer cans on the table.

“Fine, I’ll order some pizza.”

We nodded, and Chris used his phone to order the food, letting us know when he did, then telling us he was going to shower.

Hyunjin apparently noticed that his friend was kinda unhappy, and without us saying anything, he took all the cans, washed them, and discarded them before coming back to sit next to me.

“Thanks for that.”

“No big deal. Do you think he’s mad?”

“At you? No.”

“At you…?”

“Maybe.”

I didn't talk about my relationship to anyone because I was always ashamed of it. But Hyunjin had been around for a while, and he had seen things that I didn’t want anyone to see, so I didn’t have that much trouble talking to him, even if I wasn't entirely comfortable.

During dinner, Chris acted normally, so we just ended up dismissing the possibility of him being mad at either of us. Why would he be? He'd never made a scene out of jealousy before, and as he said, he saw Hyunjin as harmless. But he always managed to surprise me, usually in the worst way possible.

I was doing the dishes from dinner, and Chris, after drinking a few beers, was talking louder than he should. It was already inappropriate, but then he made it perfectly clear how much he had lost his mind by groping me in the kitchen. I was drying the dishes and could barely believe he did that, especially with Hyunjin right there with us. It wasn’t a caring hug for his girlfriend. No. He really groped me.

“Chris…?”

“You’re wearing that perfume I like…” He squeezed my waist, trying to kiss my neck, pressing his hardness against my butt.

“Chris… stop.” I tried to push him away, tried to free myself. “Don’t do that in front of other people, please.”

Hyunjin’s eyes widened, and his mouth hung open, still mid-sentence when that madness started. I was so embarrassed that I just froze.

“Maybe Hyunjin should go to his room now, because I’m really in the mood to fuck you.”

“Chris!!!” I pushed him, feeling tears start to burn my eyes, the knot tightening in my throat. “What happened to you? Are you insane?”

“Are you going to deny me just because he’s here?! Like he doesn’t hear you moaning for me every night.”

“Are you listening to yourself now?”

“Chris…” Hyunjin tried to talk to him but stopped when Chris turned his furious gaze on him.

I ran away, unable to hide my tears from the shame I felt, from the disrespect. Did he do that because he was jealous? Trying to prove a point? Why? What did he think would happen?

I got into the room but didn’t lock the door because I knew I’d have to open it when Chris came; it was his apartment, everything in there belonged to him. And apparently, I was some sort of object for him too.

It didn’t take long for him to storm into the room, slamming the door.

“Why did you run? What are you ashamed of?”

“Because of you! The way you treat me in front of other people. You’re ridiculous, Chris. Ridiculous!”

“Maybe if you weren’t acting like a fucking whore and hitting on him, I wouldn’t have to make it clear that you’re mine.”

“Hitting on him...? Do you even hear the nonsense you're saying? I’m not part of your furniture for you to claim possession like that, and I truly hope you never do this again.”

We were screaming, and Chris just lost it, throwing the chair across the room. Then he started to laugh, looking like a crazy man. I had never seen anything like that from him before, so I was really scared. I was sure he was going to beat the shit out of me when he turned to face me. Chris put his hands on his temples, and when he opened his mouth to speak, the door suddenly opened again. Hyunjin entered the room, moving towards Chris when he noticed me standing on the other side of the room.

“Trying to be a hero for what?” Chris shouted, pushing Hyunjin away. “Get the fuck out of my room.”

“Did he hurt you?” Hyunjin's question was directed at me, completely ignoring the push. I shook my head, trying to dry my tears that kept falling. “Chris, let’s go outside. You need to calm down.”

“Outside? Are you both insane? This is my fucking apartment.”

“You need to calm down, or you’re going to do something you can’t undo. Come on, let’s talk.”

Chris stopped and took a deep breath. After looking around, he seemed to realize the huge mistake he made. His posture changed; he lifted the chair from the floor and took a step toward me, but I froze and stopped looking at him, petrified. He looked down, pressing his lips into a thin line, and ended up leaving the room with Hyunjin.

I was losing my breath from fear. I was so sure he was going to beat me that I was shaking. What a disaster that night was. I really needed to get out of there as soon as possible, or I would get beaten in the next fight.

I dressed for bed and was ready to run away to the couch if he returned to the room, but he didn’t. I didn’t hear anyone screaming or anything breaking, so maybe everything was alright between them. I ended up sleeping after crying for several minutes, and when I woke up in the middle of the night to an empty bed, my heart ached. I couldn’t explain why.

I got up and opened the door, seeing Chris sleeping on the couch, wearing some of Hyunjin’s clothes. Apparently, he had helped my boyfriend take a shower and calm down, which was great, but it wouldn’t erase all the embarrassment from the night before. Nothing would.

I went to the balcony. It was still dark, and I felt comfortable breathing some fresh air, enjoying the silence of the condo, trying not to think about what happened.

The door behind me opened, and I panicked, thinking it was Chris, but when I looked back, I saw Hyunjin's tall and sleepy figure. It was a huge relief.

“Didn’t sleep well, either?” I asked, looking at the dark sky, avoiding his eyes.

“Yeah, and it might take a while until I get used to my new schedule. Listen, about yesterday…”

“I don’t know if I wanna talk about it. It was awful, and I’m really sorry you saw that… he’s never done anything like that before.”

“I understand if you don’t want to, but I talked to him. He told me he feels like you’re kinda distant, and he lost it because of that. He thought you and I were... you know. And he knows what he did was wrong. He’s sorry about it. I’m gonna take a night out so you both can talk with more privacy.”

“You didn’t have to do any of this, Hyunjin. And you don’t have to stay out either. I don’t wanna talk to him. Not anymore.”

“I get that, but he seemed really regretful. Don’t tell him I said this, but he cried when I helped him in the bath.”

I raised my brows, surprised by two things: Chris crying and the fact that I didn’t care, not even a little.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Sure.”

“Do you really hear us?”

I turned to face him, wanting to see his expression for the first time since we started talking. Even in the dark, I could see his cheeks turn red. It wasn’t something I would normally ask. But I was so bitter and resentful that maybe I wanted to reach some twisted balance, to justify the horror show that happened. And Hyunjin really affected me in many ways. Maybe I didn’t want to deny that fact anymore.

“I did hear... sometimes.” He took a deep breath, clearly embarrassed. “But lately I’ve been wearing my headphones at night, so don’t worry about it…”

“I see. The day you got your new job, did you hear us?”

“Yeah, that was the first time, actually.”

“Hm.” I leaned against the balcony parapet, facing him, making sure to look into his eyes. “Because that day, I was thinking about you.”

Hyunjin blinked a few times, like he was having trouble processing what I said. I watched his lips get wet as he licked them, ready to say something, but he just chose silence.

“Thank you for all the help.” I put my hand on his shoulder and didn’t wait for an answer. I just opened the door and disappeared from his sight, heading back inside the apartment. When I passed by Chris, I felt a huge relief, noticing that most of my feelings for him were dead after what he did. Maybe that would change, but I was really hoping it didn’t.

When I lay down to sleep, I had to check something. I slid my hand inside my shorts and confirmed what I already knew: I was wet. I felt it right when I said those words to him, and maybe I should apologize later. Or maybe not. It was something to worry about in the morning.

••• X •••

When I opened my eyes, I checked the alarm, and it was still really early. I decided to take a shower and get ready for work, maybe leave a bit sooner just to avoid being there.

I had a quick flashback about the nightmare Chris made me live the night before and about what I said to Hyunjin a few hours back. I did feel some regret, but not enough to apologize yet. 

I was starting to get ready when I heard a few shy knocks on the door.

“Who is it?”

“It’s me, babe. Can I come in?”

My emotions were all over the place, and I was really surprised. I didn’t expect him to use so much manners, especially since just a few hours ago, he made sure to remind us that it was his apartment.

“Sure. It’s your room.”

I sat on the bed and crossed my legs, still wearing only a towel around my body. I watched him enter the room, staring at the ground. I could almost believe he regretted what he did, but I knew damn well it could happen again.

“I want to ask you to forgive me.” He knelt in front of me. “Nothing could ever justify the way I acted yesterday. You know that’s not me. You’re so distant lately, I got everything all wrong…”

“Do you know why, Chris?” I took a deep breath, surprised at the guts I found to say at least part of what he needed to hear. “You thought I was unfaithful because that’s you. You keep cheating on me, keep treating me like shit, and I’m still here. Maybe last night you noticed that my patience is ending, and you don’t have me for granted. Not everyone is like you, did you know that?! And for what? What did you want to prove, huh? You not only disrespected me but your friend, too. If I wanted to cheat on you, a jealous scene wasn’t going to stop me, Chris.”

“I know. You’re right.”

“I really hope that it never happens again.” Because you wouldn’t have a chance to do it again.

“It won’t… I’m gonna be better. I’m gonna be a better man for you. Yesterday Hyunjin made me see how stupid I am for not valuing you.”

“Such a great thing to know that you needed someone else to tell you that.”

“I’m an idiot. Forgive me, babe. I love you, don’t wanna lose you.” His hands rested on my knee, touching me gently, a rare thing. “I hope it’s not too late and we can work things out.”

But he had already lost me, little by little, daily. With everything he did or didn’t do. The words got stuck in my mouth because I didn’t have the courage to say them.

“Let’s see. Now I need some space, okay?”

“Sure, as much as you need.”

He left the room, and I was still sitting there, trying to process everything that just happened. He had been an asshole to me a lot of times and always apologized, but that didn't stop him from doing it again. I was a bit happy that he heard me and didn’t argue, just accepted it. Maybe I could find some strength inside me to fight for that relationship, but I was afraid my interests were somewhere else. In somebody else.

I knew this would lower me to the same level as my boyfriend, but I didn’t care anymore. My goals were set, and the first one was to get a good enough job so I could live on my own. In the meantime, I’d make Chris pay, little by little, for all the harm he’d done to me. This included Hyunjin, and I knew he was a much better person than either me or Chris, so that might be the hardest part. But I wouldn’t give up until I succeeded.

[steamishot]

T+2 days

the time has finally come, and we are now in a south pasadena airbnb where we'll stay for 18 days. what a whirlwind it has been! last week in NYC things:

met up shortly with S who walked me to dinner with T on fri

brunch at S&I's place on sat

hot pot with LG saturday night

packed/cleaned up the apartment and unmounted things on sunday

uyghur dinner with S&I (i thought brunch was the last time i would see them) on monday

torrisi with matt on tuesday

othership/first cold plunge experience with T on tuesday night

got raided by 4 movers on wednesday

SURPRISE visit by S on wednesday/move out day!

it was hard to say goodbye to our apartment. although the small space was really grating on me, i did spend a LOT of time in there, given covid and WFH. it was my first adult apartment and i put in a lot of effort to keep it well decorated and cozy.

now that we're in a one bedroom airbnb that has separation of space for kitchen, living room, and bedroom, it feels so nice! there is even a little outdoor patio area we can hang out in. it feels like such a luxury to have a designated space to work in (kitchen table). in our studio, my work desk was literally about 3-4 feet away from the foot of our bed. we can even eat at separate tables now! and we don't have to see/hear each other constantly even when we're both home! so nice!! LOL

apartment: last week, we finally signed for a two bedroom, 1.5 bath with a 13 month lease for $3085 starting in october. we decided to go with the same company as our nyc one. the price seemed quite costly to me initially, but given the amenities (in unit washer/dryer, central air, etc), and location, it didn't seem terrible in comparison to the other places on the market. #makingmydreamscometrue

work: i took 9/11 off work which is the day the movers came and we flew back to LA. on the plane, i was checking emails out of boredom, and i came across an email preview that read "Congrats Connie!" from my boss. i clicked into to see that i had received an equity increase! my boss had mentioned getting me some more money months ago, but i didn't expect it to come so soon. i am truly grateful to receive a 15% increase, especially when they just gave me a significant increase last year. the timing of it was perfect too, because i felt like this news welcomed me to LA.

this puts me at almost 6 figures, and i can finally say i will achieve it next year with the annual raise. with our increased fixed expenses (rent, utilities, car payment and car insurance), it feels good that we can technically survive off of my new income. thank you to the east coast/nyc work culture for increasing my work ethic, and thank you to matt and east coast friends who have influenced me and helped me gain confidence to work harder/achieve more in my career. i never imagined myself to be able to make this much money (but also, inflation, so it's not as impressive as it once was lol).

i didn't have to bring up A to my previous boss I, because we now are having meetings with the 3 of us. i now know that I knows how slow A is, so i don't want to talk badly about her.

it's been an emotional few weeks. even now in LA, i'm adjusting to the pace, culture, and getting reacquainted with driving and family. will slowly start hitting up friends after getting settled in a bit more. on our first day back, i kinda started missing NYC/east coast and questioned if i made the right choice. i missed the hustle, the drive, walkability, and go-getter attitudes. i also felt guilty about 'abandoning' my friend S. we stopped meeting as often in the past year due to schedules/busyness, but she made a lot of effort to see me many times in the last month. i hope this distance gives the space for our friendship to evolve and not decay.

today, i woke up today to the sound of chirping birds and have had healthy doses of vitamin D. i squirrel and bird watched from the patio. and drank some great milk tea. will document more about transitioning back to LA as the weeks go on.

[bahamutgames]

AFTERTHOUGHTS - ROUNDUP ROUND 3

April + May 2023

NON Nintendo Switch Online Edition!!

Alright kind of a slow day today but I have a BUNCH I still would like to get done. So I'm taking a small break by writing some thoughts on some games I beat recently. I haven't been doing a TON of gaming this month cause I've been busy doing work or getting screwed over and in my down time I've been going out a lot, hanging out with friends, and not playing too much. I am currently chipping through my next RPG and I'm ALMOST done with it. As well as random small itch games I've been playing and tweeting about on my twitter. But hopefully when I break through this current RPG and finish up some work I can play more stuff more regularly soon.

Pizza Tower (January 26, 2023) - PC

So, something you may not know about me is that I am actually a HUGE Wario Land fan. Like, a MASSIVE Wario Land fan. I've played them all, and I also played and adored Wario World and Master of Disguise even though they're not exactly the same. But yeah I fucking love Wario. And lately I've been really really excited with the wave of Wario Land-likes we're receiving! This and Anton Blast (which looks SO amazing I seriously cannot wait.)

I wasn't able to pick this game up right away but thankfully I had a friend buy it for me which means the absolute WORLD to me for real. And I gotta say, I had a great time with it! It feels awesome to play, gameplay feels wonderful and additions to the formula like combos and parrying is SUPER cool! And of course traditional Wario Land fare like form changes and the general moveset feels great and while I generally am not crazy about beating levels as quick as possible I feel like the moveset is really good for speedrunning in a way that makes it feel nice to speedrun even for someone like me who isn't into it much.

Of course the sprites are so cute, I love the art style. The characters are cute, I appreciate there being multiple playable characters too that was also a great addition. Enemies are cute, the levels look great and colorful. Bosses are all very cool looking and REALLY fun to fight for the most part. The soundtrack is great, I loved the story. I loved the format and the context behind finding stuff like toppins and paying for boss doors. It's all very cool and feels like a wonderful return for Wario Land.

It's small but I also appreciate Peppino himself for being an old middle aged man with body hair as the cool protagonist who gets shit done and like has a huge hero moment at the end where he saves everyone. I ADORE Warioware but a big issue I had with it is that it kinda removes Wario's coolness factor and his strikingly heroic moments from Land and just makes him... yknow... a greedy fat guy and that's IT. So it's nice to see a fat character being more than that again.

It's been a bit since I played it so I don't remember a ton of my complaints. Off the top of my head the biggest issue I had was that the boss fights are WAY too long. They last forever, you have to do them twice. And then they end on a minigame where if you fail you have to do the whole fight over. It's so annoying and makes each one a total chore where otherwise they'd be REALLY cool. Also I know they're not meant to be scary but I did not care for the screamers in that one level at all. They did not do it for me lol. Lastly, this might be a weird way to start this post. But I know this game had a racist enemy design in it. If it's what I think it is, it's a stereotype of indigenous cultures which has been removed from the game from my understanding. But still. This sucks. It's something we see in indie games WAY too often. Too many indie games feature enemies like this. And I know a lot of old AAA games had this too. But it's not okay. And it's something that really really baffles me that indie devs STILL think it's okay to have enemies like this. Stop it.

Aside from that, great entry in the Wario-Land like genre. Was a blast to play (an Anton Blast aha) while also adding a ton of original stuff to make it stand out. I hope to see more and I hope its popularity leads to even MORE Wario Land type games and more games with cute scribbly art styles.

The Murder of Sonic the Hedgehog (March 31, 2023) - PC

A much smaller april fools game that also took me a bit to play. But DAMN am I happy I did. This game was a TON of fun! You never see fake games made for April Fools that are like... yknow... actual games you can play! And this was such a cute and fun little game I really shocked by how much of a good time I had with it!

Usually I'm not super into point and click stuff but man this game was SO cute it didn't bug me at all. Fantastic writing, tons of Sonic characters who aren't written to be jokes (I love seeing this becoming a trend again), fantastic and silly references to the whole series (THERE WAS A FUCKING SONIC RIVALS REFERENCE!! THAT'S SO COOL!!!!!) The art is FANTASTIC, the music is nice, I was really surprised at how good and fun the story was? Like towards the end it becomes a real story with real stakes and a pretty moving ending which was SUPER cool to see! Also it had actual gameplay scenes with real timing and platforming? Which was SO surprising but totally welcome!

I really don't have much negative to say? It was free and it's a small april fools joke that ended up being really cool! I loved the outfits for each character (rouge is so hot) AND it introduced a new super cute and hot Sonic Milf! So I say, it's pretty fucking amazing, actually!

Rocket Knight Adventures (August 5th, 1993) - Sega Genesis

This was a game I didn't really have any intentions of playing, but a friend of mine has been asking me for a bit now to check it out. And after playing Ristar and realizing I've been missing out on a TON of Genesis games my whole life, and a total rando telling me I NEED to play this game. I just snapped, I couldn't not. How could I ignore it after all this praise? So here I am! After finally playing Rocket Knight Adventures!

And my verdict? Yeah it's pretty cool! I like the world it takes place in, I like the character designs (Rocket in particular is VERY cute), I like the sprites and music. This is all around just a pretty dang fun game! I liked the gimmick of being able to charge up your jetpack and dash around. And I feel like it does honestly make pretty good use of it unlike Ristar and Pulseman which I talked about before. My only real complaint is that I think the final bosses kinda suck and are a bit of a chore. But I am a sucker for like, edgy rivals who use the same powers as you.

I will probably check out the sequels when I get the chance, though I've heard they're not SUPER great. I would love a new entry eventually that really goes hard into the rocket stuff and maybe has even more shmup levels cause of course I loved those aha.

Super Mario Advance 2: Super Mario World (December 14, 2001) - Gameboy Advance

And last but not least for now, Super Mario Advance 2! If you know anything about me, you know that Super Mario World is one of my all time favorite games! I ADORE the SNES original as in addition to just being a great game, it's actually the first game I've ever played (or at least have memories of playing). And despite the fact the first time I beat Mario 2 & 3 was with the GBA remakes, I had never tried the remake of Super Mario World on GBA until now! But I gotta say, yeah these are great ports!

Super Mario World is just great on its own so of course it's a good game. I still love the sprites, they're washed out here because of the lack of backlight way back when it came out. But I think the new color scheme is nice and still works. I LOVE the music still and it sounds really nice in the GBA soundfont. And there's a lot of really good changes here too! Stuff like a serious playable Luigi, a more serious exit tracker, and having the Dragon Coins function more like Star Coins in NSMB are all GREAT changes that should have been there from the start. But even stuff like additional cutscenes, voice clips (which I LOVE), small sprite fixes on Peach and Yoshi, and the cute fun way enemies roll away with funny sprite rotations when Yoshi spits them out are ultimately not needed but are great changes!

I sort of rushed through this playthrough but I mean, it's Super Mario World, so I wouldn't be surprised if I end up playing more of it and play more levels that I didn't give a shot soon! This is a great port and I still continue to LOVE the Mario Advance games so much! I'll probably have to play it more to see but if I ever get around to 100% completing it I could see this potentially being the ideal way to play Super Mario World which is CRAZY to think about! Good port!

[ladyandherbooks]

My Favourite Relationships in Tomorrow

These are in no particular order.

1) The RM Team

Found Family between the guy with a giant heart and a handful of braincells, the sarcastic, highly intelligent assistant manager and their tough yet compassionate, no nonsense boss. 

I loved seeing their dynamic go from annoyance and disdain for Choi Junwoong to love, admiration and the pair of them counting down the years and months until Choi Junwoong can join them again as a fully fledged member of the RM Team.

2) JoongRyeon

What can I say about this couple except that I love them. 

Their chemistry is amazing and I love their ability to have an entire conversation through gazes and glances alone.

Their epic centuries long love story had it all, a meet cute, young love, arranged marriage, true love, a long happy marriage, a smitten husband, a teasing wife, warrior couple with epic fight scenes, Ryeon poisoning an entire military camp, one man army Joong Gil, angst, trauma, the willingness to do anything for one another, their tragic end in the mortal world, the angsty, one sided reunion and temporary unrequited/one sided love, memories being sealed away, falling in love again centuries later, the antagonism and feelings of betrayal that are linked and caused by trauma, trauma nightmares, the pain, revelations, memories regained and their true reunion, their role reversals, the closure and healing which can finally lead them to start again.

Now they have all the time in the world to together, free from the expectations, problems and restrictions that the mortal world would put in their way.  

Also please give us a shopping date scene with them in the present, that would be so much fun and would be a great call back. Let Joong Gill buy Ryeon something pretty and expensive.

3) The Management Trio aka Jade Emperor, Park Joong Gil and Koo Ryeon

A more underrated team or trio but I love it when these guys have scenes together. I know we joke about the Jade Emperor playing matchmaker with these two but she truly does care about these two a lot and at the end of the day just wants them to heal and move past that fateful night 400 years ago. She’ll be very happy when these two get back together again and I imagine there will be some light teasing on her end whenever she talks to one or both of them.

I see her as a mentor and mother/grandmother/aunty figure to these two, someone who sees their potential and wants to help them grow, who knows them better than almost anyone else and is willing to call them out when it is needed. 

Plus these two are the only two managers/department heads that were truly loyal to her and who she can always count on when things get difficult so of course she’s going to care about them and play favourites. 

4) Lim Ryungu and His Mother

Another beautiful and tragic story that brought tears to my eyes.

The unconditional love that they had for one another was beautiful and they were torn apart way too soon. The moment that really got me for these two was when Ryeon was telling Ryungu about the conversation that they had when she was escorting her to Hell. Learning about his mother’s pain and how he, with such a simple gesture saved his mother and brought her back to him, making her want to truly live again was heartbreaking, especially when you realise that this showed just how similar these two were, neither one could believe that how the other could love them but they did. They made one another happy and made their their lives better for being by their side. 

Their final, long awaited reunion and conversation was beautiful, healing and tragic and while they can never be together again Ryungu is going to make good use of the Reaper loophole that fate has given him to watch over her and protect protect her for the rest of all of her lives. She and Honeybee will always be loved, protected and safe. They will always find their way back to one another.

5) Park Joong Gil and Yun-i

A relationship that we only saw very briefly but was still very sweet and has a lot of potential for both fic and any potential future season, special etc if we are lucky enough to get any.

I loved their first meeting and how in awe Yun-i was at Joong Gil’s skills, power and bravery. I also really loved seeing their first conversation with one another, with Yun-i’s curiousity and determination and Joong Gil listening to her dream and encouraging her to pursue it while praising her for her intelligence. With that being their first conversation with one another it’s no wonder that she came to admire him as much as she has.

Then their reunion decades later and not only does he remember her he gives her encouragement and some great advice. This interaction really showed what Joong Gil is like as a leader and clear that he must run his team well and cares about them greatly. It was also very sweet to see Yun-i tell him that he’s the person that he admires the most in the world and Joong Gil’s little smile after she leaves. 

6) Ryeon and Gop-Dan

The best friends/sisters who loved and stood by one another through almost everything, these two were willing to do anything to keep the other safe. Gop-Dan gave her life to protect Ryeon and Ryeon almost lost herself as she tried to avenge Gop-Dan. It’s also important to note that Gop-Dan’s death and near death experience were both catalysts for Ryeon’s biggest downfalls/lowest moments. Ryeon loves her as much as she loves Joong Gil and I’m glad that she managed to repay her friend’s sacrifice by saving her life and ensuring those that hurt her got the justice that they truly deserved. 

I’d love it if they were able to reunite in Jumadeung in the future, maybe with Gop Dan regaining her memories of their past life together and she ends up joining the RM team along with Junwoong. That would be a fun, especially when Gop Dan learns that Joong Gil is also a Reaper and that he and Ryeon are together again. I’d love to see that trio interacting together, centuries later, without any of the class differences where they form their own little trio to go on missions, hang out etc. Or just these 2 going on missions together. 

[leossmoonn]

One Day at A Time

masterlist

pairing - lip gallagher x fem!reader

type - angst, fluff

note / request - “Hi, I love your Shameless imagines! And I was wondering if you could write something for Lip Gallagher x Reader having a baby and struggling with their new life ❤️” alright so i named the baby fred bc thats lip’s baby’s name already lol also you and lip live in the house that lip wanted to buy for tammy. enjoy!

summary - you and lip struggle to raise a baby and survive 

warning / includes - language, fighting, alcohol, smoking, but fluffy ending

————

*gif isn’t mine*

“Lip!” You shouted. 

Your boyfriend ran into the room frantically. “What’s wrong?” 

“I need you to get me more baby wipes. Freddy took a big shit,” you instructed. 

Lip nodded, going to the table where you kept the baby wipes. He gave you the whole packet only for you to yell at him.

“Hand me them! I have to hold Freddy down so we doesn’t roll off,” you said.

“Sorry, Jesus,” Lip muttered, handing you baby wipes each time you put your hand out. 

You successfully cleaned your baby’s bottom and but on a new, fresh diaper. You picked Freddy and went downstairs with him. You set Freddy down in his high-chair, going over to the cabinet to get Freddy’s baby food. 

“Are you um, are you going into work today?” Lip asked.

“Yeah, are you?” You asked. 

“Yeah, I am,” Lip said. 

You frowned, turning around and putting a hand on your hip. “You can’t. Someone has to watch Freddy.”

“Debbie can watch Freddy,” Lip said. 

You scoffed, “She's never here. And before you say V and Kev, they’ve already helped us enough the past few months. They’re busy with their own kids.”

“Well, I need to go into work. We need the money,” Lip said. 

“Yeah, and I need to go to work or I’m gonna get fired!” You exclaimed. You began feeding Freddy, your mood lightening a little once you saw the little guy’s face. 

“What about working tomorrow? I thought that was our schedule,” Lip asked. 

“It was, but one, I’m well overdue on maternity leave and two, my boss doesn’t care about my personal life. She doesn’t care that we are struggling to raise a child,” you explained. 

Lip opened his mouth to suggest something, but nothing came out. He looked at you helplessly. 

“Here, why don’t you work for a few hours and I’ll watch Freddy in the morning, then you come back home at lunch and I’ll go and work for the afternoon,” you said. 

Lip nodded. “Yeah, that works.”

“Alright, good,” you said. You turned your attention back to the baby, feeding him the rest of his breakfast. Meanwhile, Lip went to shower and get ready to go to work. He came downstairs, coming over to bid you and Freddy goodbye. 

“I’ll see you later. I love you,” Lip said, giving you a hug and a kiss on the forehead. 

Even though you were mad at him earlier, you melted into his arms immediately. You hugged him back tightly, burying your head in the crook of his neck. 

“Hm, I love you, too,” you said, breathing in his scent. 

Lip couldn’t help but smile at your actions. He pulled away after a few moments, walking over to Freddy. 

“I love you, too, buddy,” Lip cooed, kissing Freddy on the cheek, making the baby giggle. 

You smiled at the scene, enjoying seeing Lip interact with Freddy. 

“Bye,” Lip called out before leaving. 

“Bye!” You exclaimed, watching him leave. 

You let out a long sigh, leaning back against the fridge. You looked at Freddy, who was clapping his hands on his high-chair table. You laughed a little.

“You’re so silly,” you said, going over to him and picking him up. 

“Do you want to go to the store with me?” You talked to Freddy, bouncing him up and down while walking across the room. 

Freddy make a little squeak and you smiled. “Yeah, I know you want go to the store with me. I’m gonna shower and get ready, you stay in the crib, okay? I’ll be out in 10 minutes,” you said, going up to the nursery and setting Freddy down  gently. 

You went into the bathroom, taking a quick shower and brushing your teeth. You went back in your room and got dressed into a pair of mom jeans, a dark-purple, buttoned-up shirt and put a grey sweater over it, taking the collar of your shirt and folding it on the collar of your sweater. You then returned to Freddy’s room. You saw him on his back, sucking in his thumb. You smiled and picked him up, quietly going down the stairs. You set him in his high-chair again, getting your coat, purse, and your shoes. You also got Freddy’s little coat and hat to keep him warm in the cold winter of Chicago. 

You went out to your car, buckling Freddy into his carseat. You then went to the supermarket, putting Freddy in the front of the cart. You picked out fruit, vegetables, and salad mix. You got 2 gallons of milk, new coffee creamer, and cereal. You bought a few warm-up dinner packs and hamburger meat, going to the freezer isle and getting ice cream. You then went to the snack isle. 

“What should we get, Freddy?” You asked, looking at the pop tarts. 

Freddy pointed to the birthday cake-flavoured pop tarts. 

“Good choice, baby,” you smiled, grabbing the pop tarts. You then grabbed a few packs of chips and gum, going over to check out.

“Cute baby,” the girl at the register said. 

You looked up from putting the groceries on the table. You looked at her name tag and smiled. 

“Thank you, Stacy,” you said. “How old is he?” Stacy asked. 

“Almost 2 months,” you said. 

“Awe, so cute. I just found out I’m pregnant,” Stacy said. 

“Oh, really. Congrats,” you smiled. “Yeah, my boyfriend and I are happy,” Stacy smiled, putting her hand on her stomach. 

She rang your groceries up. “It’ll be $103.98.”

You nodded and took your card out and a few coupons you and Lip had collected in the past month. 

“Alright, with these coupons, your total is $80.56,” Stacey said.

“Great,” you smiled. You paid with your card, gathering the grocery bags. 

“Have a good day!” Stacy smiled. 

“Thank you, you too. Congrats again with the baby,” you gave her a kind smile. 

She thanked you as you walked out. You loaded the groceries into the car and put Freddy back in his carseat. You then drove back home, putting away the groceries while Freddy watched you in his high-chair. 

“Are you tired, baby? I’m tired,” you yawned. Freddy yawned right after you, making you chuckle. 

“Why don’t you take a nap and let Mommy clean the house, okay? It’s a fucking mess,” you muttered the curse words, looking around the house. Clothes and toys were everywhere. Plates were stacked in the sink and on the coffee table. The house needed to be vacuumed and wiped down very badly

You put Freddy down in his crib, turning on the baby monitor. You changed into a tank top and shorts and put your hair in a ponytail, going back downstairs to clean. 

You started with the dishes, washing and drying them off, putting them back in their cupboards. You then wiped down the kitchen counter, stove top, kitchen table, and coffee table. Next you decided to clean up all of the baby stuff that was on the floor. You put Freddy’s toys in the play bins you and Lip had bought and put Freddy’s clothes in the washing machine. You then vacuumed the living room carpet and swept the kitchen tiles, making yourself another cup of coffee. You were done in an hour and a half, taking a look at your work, smiling in satisfaction. Your house hadn’t been this clean since you and Lip had bought it. 

It was lunch time and you knew Lip would be coming home soon. You decided to make you and him lunch. You made chilli and salad, knowing that it would last you two for a few days. You changed back into your work uniform before grabbing yourself a bowl and sitting down, eating your lunch quickly before you had to go to work. 

15 minutes later, Lip had walked through the door. You got up to greet him. 

“Hey, babe. This smells good, what did you make?” Lip asked.  “Chilli and salad for lunch. You can have some,” you said. 

“Ah, nice,” Lip said. He gave you a kiss on the cheek, going over to the kitchen.  You frowned. He usually wasn’t this detached.

“How was work?” You asked. 

“Good,” Lip said, grabbing himself a bowl of chilli. “How was your day?”

“Good,” you said. “ I um… I cleaned the house and got groceries.”

“Oh, nice,” Lip said, sitting down. 

"Are you okay?” You asked. 

“Yeah, I’m just tired,” Lip said. 

“Um, okay,” you said. “Well, Freddy is upstairs taking a nap. He’s been asleep for about two hours, so he will probably wake up soon. The baby monitor is here. When he wakes up can you give him a bath? He’s a little stinky.”

“Sure,” Lip nodded. 

You narrowed your eyes at him, trying to figure out why he was acting so off. 

“I gotta go to work. I'll see you later, okay?” You said. 

“Okay. Have fun,” Lip said.

You slammed the front door shut and walked to your car, letting out a long sigh. You wanted to ask why Lip was acting so distant, but you knew you had to go to work. You worked as a waitress at a local diner. You had been working there for the past 3 years. You hoped to be moving jobs to what you really wanted to do, which was cosmetics, but having a baby set you back a little. You were so thankful for Freddy, though, you didn’t regret having him one bit. It just sucked a lot. But you were good at your job. you were friendly to customers and co-workers, got the most tips, and never played around. You were your boss’s best waitress, despite you always having to change your shifts. 

You worked from 1 pm to 9, going back home tired, but happy you at least got a shift in. You drove home, looking forward to seeing Lip and Freddy, but once you got in the door, your excitement immediately diminished. 

Freddy was in his play pen and the person who was watching him wasn’t Lip. It was Carl. 

“Um, hey, Carl,” you frowned, setting your coat in the closet. 

Carl turned to you, a nervous smile on his face. “Hey, Y/n. How’re you?”

“Good, thanks. Where is Lip?” You asked, putting your hands on your hips. 

“He went out,” Carl answered. 

“To where?” You asked, your temper rising. “Um…. to the Alibi,” Carl said nervously. 

Your eyes blew wide. “What?! He went to the Alibi and left you to take care of our baby? No offense, Carl.”

“None taken,” Carl shrugged. 

“I…” you started to say. You put your fingers on your temples, rubbing in circles to try and ease the headache you were beginning to have. You were able to calm down a little. 

“Thank you for taking care of Freddy,” you said to Carl. 

“No problem. I love the little guy,” Carl smiled. 

You smiled back, grabbing your purse. “Here, let me pay you for watching him.”

“I would usually say yes to money, but I’ll say no this time. I like spending time with Freddy, he's my nephew, I like watching him,” Carl shrugged.

“Are you sure?” You asked, holding a 20 dollar bill. 

“Yeah, I am,” Carl smiled kindly. 

“Alright. Thank you. I’m going to find Lip. Do you mind staying until I come back?” You asked. 

“Nope. Can I have some of the chilli?” Carl asked. 

“Yeah, of course. Do you know how to change diapers and feed Freddy?” You asked. 

“Yeah, of course. I took care of Liam and Franny for Debbie sometimes,” Carl said. 

“Right, of course,” you chuckled. “Thanks, again. I’ll see you later.”

“See you,” Carl waved. 

You didn’t bother grabbing your coat, rushing out of the house to find Lip. You drove to the Alibi, parking haphazardly. You went in, anger surging through you as you saw Lip smoking and drinking his liver and lungs out. He was talking with Kermit and Tommy. 

“Lip!” You screamed, the whole room turning going quiet. 

“Oh, hey, Y/n!” Kev smiled. 

“Hey, Kev. Can I see Lip for a second?” You asked, clenching your jaw. 

Lip looked at you, his eyes dropping. “Hey, baby.” He walked up to you, a stoned smile on his face. 

You grabbed his hand, yanking him out to the alley behind the Alibi. 

“What's up?” Lip asked.

“You! That’s what’s up!” You exclaimed. 

“What do you mean?” Lip asked. 

“You fucking left Freddy alone!” You shouted. “I left him with Carl. He’s fine,” Lip shrugged. 

“Yeah, but you didn’t call me to say you were going to leave Freddy!” 

Lip glared at you. “I don’t need to call you. He’s my son.”

“He’s my son, too! I’m his mother. I need to know who he is with! What if Carl brought over Kelly and they started having sex on the couch where Freddy could see, huh? I don’t fucking want that!” 

Lip chuckled. “They wouldn’t do that. Carl and Kelly are broken up or whatever.”

You groaned. “That’s not the point! I’m tired and super stressed out. You could have let me know!” 

“I’m tired and stressed out, too!” Lip exclaimed.

“Oh, yeah, I bet you are. Getting fucking drunk and stoned,” you laughed sourly. 

“I’m not drunk, I had 2 sips of beer, and I worked!” Lip exclaimed. 

“Yeah? Well I worked, too! I worked until 9 at night. I should be home by then! And I was the one who cleaned the house and did the dishes and got the groceries, which by the way, you are fucking welcome!” You shouted. 

“I never asked you to do that,” Lip said. 

“i know, but I did it because we needed it. All I wanted was a thank you!” “Well I was tired and hungry when I got home,” Lip shrugged. 

You glared at him, tears clouding your vision. “You’re so full of shit, Lip. So full of fucking shit!” You screamed, pushing him back. He stumbled backwards and hit the brick wall gently. 

“What the fuck, Y/n?!” Lip yelled. 

“Don’t do that! You don’t have the right to question me!” You screamed back. 

Lip opened his mouth to yell back, but Veronica and Kevin came out. 

“Hey, you two stop it!” Veronica yelled. 

“Yeah, what’s going on?” Kevin asked. 

“She is yelling at me!” Lip pointed to you. 

“Yeah, cause you’re a fucking asshole!” You screamed, your voice hoarse and tears running down your face. 

“Oh, no,” Veronica muttered. She went over to you, wrapping her arms around you gently. “Let’s go inside and get you some tea, okay?”

You started to sob, leaning in to Veronica. Lip looked at you, his heart breaking at the sight of you so upset.  

“Kev, you take Lip home and get him cleaned up, okay? Make sure Freddy is fed and changed and put to bed, too,” Veronica instructed. 

Kevin nodded, putting his arm around Lip and went to Lip’s car. Veronica walked you inside, taking you to the back of the bar. She got you a beer and a hot cup of tea, placing them in front of you. 

“T-Thanks,” you sniffled. 

“Talk to me, baby,” Veronica said, sitting down next to you. 

“Lip left Freddy home alone with Carl. I’ve been so busy and tired today. I cleaned the whole house, got the groceries. I worked for fucking 8 hours. I just wanted a little ‘thank you’ from Lip. That’s all I wanted,” you cried. “God, I’m such a fucking crybaby.”

Veronica put her hand on your arm comfortingly. “No, honey, you’re not. I understand, don’t worry, and Lip should, too. Maybe you should calm down a little and then go back home and talk to him. Really talk, no shouting and pushing.”

You took a big sip of your beer and nodded. “Yeah, that’s a good plan.”

Veronica smiled. “Do you want anything to eat?”

“No, I’m fine,” you said. 

“You sure? We have some chocolate chip cookies,” Veronica smiled. 

“Hm, okay. I'll have a few,” you smiled. 

“Great!” Veronica squealed. She went away for a few moments, coming back with a container full of cookies. 

You sat and talked with Veronica for two hours. You soon were about to pass out and decided to drive you and Veronica home since Kevin had taken their car. 

“Thanks for the fun night, V,” you smiled at Veronica as you dropped her back to her house. 

“No problem! Drive home safe! Call if you need anything,” Veronica said. 

“Will do,” you said and drove back home, which was thankfully only 5 minutes away. 

You got home, going in and seeing the living room empty. You took off your shoes, groaning in relief as your heels had been aching the whole day. You trudged up the stairs and into your bedroom. You heard the shower going but didn’t bother to go and see Lip. 

You changed out of your work clothes and into a pair of shorts and a tank top. You put your hair in a messy bun, flinging yourself on your bed. 

Lip came into the room with Freddy a few moments later. You noticed his presence.

“What?” You snapped. 

“I just… do you want Freddy and I to lay down with you?” Lip asked. 

You looked to them, seeing Freddy smiling at you. You couldn’t help but smile back. “Sure.”

You scooted over, Lip setting Freddy down next to you and climbing into bed with you. You gave Freddy a big kiss. 

“Hi, baby. I’ve missed you,” you cooed. 

Freddy chortled, clapping his hands. You giggled with the baby, ignoring Lip until he spoke. 

“So uh… how was your day?” Lip asked nervously. 

“Fine. How was yours?” You asked, not looking at him. 

“Mine was uh… good,” Lip said. 

“Good,” you said shortly. 

There was an awkward silence between you two before Lip spoke again. 

“I wanted to apologise for my actions today,” Lip started to say. 

This was the first time you felt like looking at him. You stared in his blue eyes, waiting for his apology. 

“I’m sorry about ignoring the work you did around the house and I’m sorry for not letting you know I was having Carl take care of Freddy. And I’m sorry for going to the Alibi and getting stoned. I really appreciate you cleaning the house. It really needed to be cleaned and to keep it clean, I promise to try and not leave dishes out and pick up Freddy’s toys,” Lip said. 

You smiled at his apology, scooting up on the bed so you could put your forehead on his without crushing Freddy. 

“Thank you. And the house being messy isn’t totally your fault. I need to learn to clean up after myself more, too,” you said. 

Lip chuckled, “That’s something we can both work on then.”

“Totally,” you smiled. 

“I’m also sorry for yelling at you at the Alibi. I’ve just been so stressed with work and Freddy. I’ve never had to take care of a baby that was my own before. I’ve always had help from Fiona and Ian,” Lip said. 

You put your hand on his cheek. “I know, baby. This is all new for me, too. And I’m sorry for yelling at you, too, you didn’t deserve that.”

“It’s alright. I kinda did,” Lip chuckled. 

You rolled your eyes with a smile “Well anyways, we’ll get through this together, okay? I love you. So, so, so much. And I love Freddy, probably a little too much,” you joked. “Let’s just take this one day at a time okay?”

Lip nodded and pressed his lips against yours softly. You kissed him back before pulling away, making sure Freddy was okay. 

Lip smiled. “I love you, too, you know.”

You looked back up to Lip with a big smile. “Yeah, I know.”

————

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[jungshookz]

hwayoung’s two now and y/n’s allowed to be emotional about it, okay?

➺ genre; ceo!yoongiverse!! a little bit of yoongi and y/n being mushy for each other!! fluff!! cutest drabble for the cutest girl!! jungkook and jimin bickering like an old married couple as per usual!! 

➺ wordcount; 3.2k

➺ p.s. this drabble is approximately five months overdue and it’s basically been collecting dust in my drafts so i figured i’d finally release it into the wild since it’s mother’s day today and i thought it’d be nice to read something sweet on this special day!!!! happy mother’s day!!! give ur mom a big ol hug and a kiss on the cheek :-) and if u don’t celebrate mother’s day that’s okay you can still read this for a small boost of serotonin wahoo :D 

                                       »»————-　🍰　————-««

“i’d just like to inform you that if it wasn’t for the fact that today is hwayoung’s birthday, the idea of having cake as part of breakfast would definitely be off the table.” yoongi pauses before turning his head to look at you pointedly, “in fact, it wouldn’t even had made it to the table in the first place.”

“trust me, you’ve made that clear multiple times-” you roll your eyes playfully before offering yoongi a half-hearted shrug, “it’s not a big deal! we’ll just give her a tiny little chunk that’ll fit in her tiny little hand and then we’ll save the rest for later!”

“yeah, right-” yoongi snorts, making his way over to you to hand you a balloon, “you’re probably going to sneak an entire slice of cake into her mouth while i’m not watching-” he teases, digging his fingers into your sides playfully before wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling you back against his chest, “you think you’re so sneaky-”

“hey-!” you giggle, squirming in his grip when you feel him starting to nip at the side of your neck, “this is not a very productive use of our time, boss-”

“hey, you two! are you just going to stand there making out all day or are you actually going to help me with the decorations?”

both you and yoongi peer over the edge to see jimin standing by the bottom of the spiral staircase looking very unimpressed and you flash him a sheepish smile 

“we’re not making out-” 

“yeah, well you might as well be-”

“we’re helping! we’re almost done tying balloons to the banisters-” you argue, holding the balloon in your hand up before flopping it around enthusiastically, “we-” you jolt when you accidentally let go of it, watching with wide eyes as it rockets around the ceiling before poot-poot-pooting pathetically and landing on the ground by jimin’s feet

whoops

“…yes, that’s very helpful, thank you.” jimin mutters to himself, shaking his head as he bends down to pick up the sad, spitty balloon up off the ground with a grimace, “when you’re done, come down and help me because this balloon arch isn’t going to make itself! chop-chop, people-” he claps his hands together as he wanders back to the living room to the half-constructed balloon arch

“you know, you’d think that hwayoung was his daughter-” yoongi murmurs lowly, twisting his neck to give your cheek a quick kiss before pulling away

“mm, tell me about i-”

“she’s mine when the two of you drop dead!”

you jump in surprise at the sound of jimin’s voice snapping at you from below and you and yoongi exchange glances before bursting into quiet giggles

“i feel like i should be more concerned that jimin seems to be very eagerly waiting for our deaths.” you joke, reaching for the bag of balloons and pulling out a handful of them

as much as you love your daughter you weren’t planning on having a super big birthday party for her just because..,., well, she’s probably not going to remember most of it considering she’s two and also it’s just the five of you celebrating at home, so you thought that a cake and a bunch of presents would be good enough of a celebration

of course, when you told jimin about these plans he looked like he was ready to bury you alive which is why he insisted that he’d take care of the food and the drinks and basically the entirety of hwayoung’s birthday party and told you that all you and yoongi had to do was sit back, relax, blow up a couple of balloons and also choose a cute birthday outfit for hwayoung

(jimin actually ended up taking over that part as well. he bought her a new birthday dress and a brand new pair of shoes to go with it.)

“everyone can relax! the star of the show has now arrived!”

the sound of the front door slamming shut suddenly shatters the silence and you smile lightly when you see jungkook sauntering in as if he owns the place

“good morning, kook.” you hum, jungkook looking up at you before offering you a lopsided grin, “actually, the star of the show is still fast asleep in her room.”

“oh, right-” jungkook snorts, dismissing you with a flick of his wrist, “i mean, yeah, of course this is hwayoung’s special day- but check it out! i picked up her birthday cake and brought it back here and i didn’t accidentally ruin it somehow!” he raises the big blue box in his hand with a beam, “i’m incredible!”

“that thing looks huge, jungkook!” you frown lightly, “i told you not to go crazy-”

“please tell me you didn’t max out my credit card buying a giant cake for hwayoung.” yoongi chimes in, leaning over and folding his arms atop the banister, “i hope you realise it’s just going to be the three of you having to eat it all-”

“it’s hwayoung’s birthday, i had to splurge! you know that ‘everything is cake’ trend? i ordered a custom cake and asked them to make it look like a giant cookie! but i also ordered a dozen chocolate chip cookies just in case she’s not into the cake.” jungkook smiles proudly before pausing, “…of course, knowing hwayoung, she’s going to love the cookies and the cake, so i’m not too worried. i’m going to see if i can shove these into the fridge-”

“what’s wrong?” yoongi nudges your side to get you to look at him, “you look like you’re thinking, which is never really a good thing-”

“hwayoung’s two now.” you blink twice before turning to look at yoongi, “she’s two.”

“yes. you’re very good at keeping track of our daughter’s age.” yoongi coos, reaching up to pinch your cheek playfully, “good job, baby.”

“two years old!” you gasp, turning around to lean back against the railing before shaking your head, “my god, she’s aged.”

“oh my god, you’re right. the ripe old age of two.” yoongi teases before gasping dramatically and reaching over to grip onto your forearm, “soon, we’ll be thinking about what elementary school to send her off to... and then the next thing you know, we’ll be helping her look for her own apartment when she’s off at university... and then you’ll be going wedding dress shopping with h-”

“stOP stop stop stop-” you wave your hands before covering them over your ears, yoongi laughing lightly when you frown at him, “i don’t want her to turn two! because that means she’s going to turn three… and then she’s going to turn four… and then five, six, seven, eight-” you pause and your eyes suddenly widen in horror, “she’s going to be a sixteen year old one day- what if she turns into a bratty sixteen year old?? because i was a really bratty sixteen year old and i don’t want her to turn out like me! do you know how hard it’s going to be if she turns into me? i used to sneak home at four in the morning-”

“let’s keep in mind that hwayoung is also my daughter and i was not a bratty sixteen year old,” yoongi interrupts calmly before giving your arm a reassuring squeeze, “she’s gonna be fine! and you turned out great, so give yourself a little bit of credit-”

“i just want her to stay two forever.” you pout, crossing your arms stubbornly as you look down the hallway towards her room, “is that too much to ask for??”

“when the terrible twos hit, i guarantee you’re probably going to feel a little different.” yoongi teases, pushing himself up off the banister before gesturing for you to go and join jimin and jungkook downstairs, “why don’t you help jimin out with the balloon arch while i go and wake our little miss two year old up?”

                                      »»————-　🍰　————-««

yoongi presses his lips together tightly as he twists the doorknob, being careful not to make too loud of a sound to accidentally shock hwayoung awake

the last thing he wants is for to burst into tears at the start of her special day

he peers into the bedroom, smiling fondly when he sees a little lump under the covers shuffling a little 

a chubby sock-clad foot pokes out for a second before it disappears again

“이게 누굴까요? [hm… who’s that]?” yoongi asks quietly, the lump suddenly freezing in place, “드디어 일어나셨네요… [i think someone’s finally awake…]”

he tilts his head when a messy head of hair pops out from under the covers, the corners of hwayoung’s mouth immediately lifting in a bright smile when she spots him, “우리 공주 좋은 아침입니다! [oh! good morning, miss min!]”

he lets himself into the room and reaches over to click the white noise machine off before starting to quietly pad his way over to her, his heart melting in his chest when her mouth opens up in a quiet little yawn

“잘 주무떠뜹니까… [gub moming…]” hwayoung murmurs, eyelids fluttering slightly as yoongi reaches down to push some of her hair out of her face

“잘 잤어? [hi, baby… did you sleep well?]” yoongi asks, leaning down to scoop her up, “우리 화영이 생일 축하해… 밑에서 다 기다리고 있어... [happy birthday, my darling… we’re all waiting for you downstairs...]” he whispers, rubbing circles into her warm back when she immediately clings to him, “머리에 물 좀 묻히고 내려갈까? 머리가 아주 산발이네. [why don’t we freshen up a little, hm? the birthday girl can’t take pictures with a bird’s nest on her head.]”

“딴바. [birb’s ness.]”

                                      »»————-　🍰　————-««

“i hope she likes the present i got for her.” jungkook mutters, his foot tapping anxiously against the ground as he looks up towards the top of the stairs in anticipation of hwayoung’s arrival, “i mean, if she doesn’t like it, there’s a receipt in the box so i can return it and get something else for her… but i really hope she likes it.”

“jungkook, she’s two. i gave her a wooden spoon to play with the other day and she was ecstatic.” you snort, peeling an eye open to look at him from where you’re lying on the couch before shutting it again, “i’m sure she’ll love whatever you got for her.”

“what’s the matter with you?” jimin hums, glancing at you for a second before focusing his attention back on sticking the bright pink ‘2’ candle onto the cake, “you look a little out of it today.”

“gee, thanks.” you snort, blindly grabbing one of the throw pillows before hugging it to your chest, “no, i’m fine, i just- i was feeling a little mopey this morning about hwa turning two and now i’m just thinking about how time has just flown by…”

“mm. it seems like it was only yesterday that i was holding your hair back while you violently puked your guts out into the toilet bowl.” jimin jokes, holding a hand to his chest before spinning around to face you and jungkook, “ah… fond memories that i’ll look back on for the rest of my life.”

“you know, i should’ve told yoongi i was pregnant in another way.” you suddenly change the subject, propping yourself up onto your elbows with a frown, “all i did was give him a tiny cookie. how lame is that?!”

“to be fair, you didn’t know how he was going to react, so maybe it was a good thing you went for something so simple!” jimin shrugs, making his way over to you before sticking his hand out for you to take, “c’mon, miss mopey. hwayoung probably doesn’t want to see you throwing yourself a pity party on her special day when she comes down here.”

                                     »»————-　🍰　————-««

“-화영이가 엄마한테가서 이쁜짓 해주는 거 어떨까? [-now, mama is feeling very emotional today, so i think it’d be a really good idea to act extra cute, okay?]” yoongi whispers to hwayoung, planting a quick kiss on her cheek while slowly making his way down the stairs, “of course, that probably isn’t going to be a problem for you, seeing that you’re adorable 24/7-”

“i adowbo.” hwayoung murmurs, leaning down and squishing her cheek against yoongi’s shoulder, “졸려. [i seepy.]”

“졸리다고? [sleepy?]” yoongi pauses on the steps, reaching up to adjust one of her pigtails with a smile, “이거 큰일났네, 졸리면 어떡해! [you can’t be sleepy for your morning conference. look alive!]”

“is that the sleepy little birthday girl?” 

yoongi looks down to see you waiting eagerly at the bottom of the stairs, your hands clasped together and your eyes glued on hwayoung, “good morning!”

“mama!” hwayoung immediately twists around in yoongi’s arms at the sound of your voice, reaching out for you with a teethy grin as soon as yoongi gets close enough to you

“oh, happy birthday, my sweet little baby!“ you coo as you take her into your arms, squishing multiple kisses to her chubby cheek as you hold her close, “happy happy birthday, my beautiful girl…”

“ahppa bouday!” hwayoung giggles, little hands patting against your face

she leans in and smushes her nose against yours before giving you a drooly kiss on the cheek and you can’t help but laugh at how affectionate she’s being with you

see??

you want to keep her like this forever and it sucks to think about the fact that one day you’re going to set her down on the ground after carrying her and you’ll never pick her up again because she won’t need you to pick her up again

:-(

“oh…” you sniffle, suddenly feeling your nose prickle and your eyes starting to get a little tingly, “i love you so much…”

you don’t get much of a chance to say anything else before hwayoung’s suddenly being plucked from your arms, both jimin and jungkook immediately starting to fawn over her as per usual

“우리 화영이, 공주님이 따로 없네! [look at how beautiful you are in your dress!]” jimin exclaims animatedly, hwayoung clapping her hands together in response

her dress is sage green and gingham and it even came with matching ribbons for her hair and you have to admit that jimin made a pretty good choice with this birthday outfit

you probably would’ve stuck her in a pair of overalls or something

“see, what’d i say?” jimin smiles proudly, smoothing down the back of hwayoung’s dress before looking over at jungkook, “i told you the sage green was cuter- 아니 빨간 걸 왜 입혀 뭐 애를 도마로 만들 생각이니- [the red one that you wanted to go with would’ve made her look like a picnic blanket-]”

“아니 도마라니! [red gingham is classy!]” jungkook argues, trailing behind jimin while making faces at hwayoung to get her to laugh, “입혀보지도 않고- [you didn’t even give it a chance-]”

“난 그딴 거 염두에 두지 않는다 정국아- [i don’t need to give tacky garbage a chance, jungkook-]”

“hey, are you okay?” yoongi gives you a quick hug and kiss on the side of your head when he suddenly notices a tear running down your cheek, “she’s just turning two, y/n... she’s not moving out of the country-”

“i know, i know-“ you sniffle, reaching up to quickly wipe at your tears before chuckling, “i guess i’m just feeling extra emotional today-”

“c’mon, parents!” jimin calls out for you two while setting hwayoung down in her high chair, “the candle is melting and this cake is too expensive to get any wax dripped on it-”

“gookee!” hwayoung points to the cake and claps her hands as she bounces up and down on her seat, “gookee, mama!”

“yeah! cookie!” you mimic enthusiastically, smiling widely when she suddenly lets out a high-pitched squeal of excitement, her nose scrunching particularly cutely, “i’m glad to see that you inherited my love for cookies and not appa’s love for muesli.”

yoongi immediately scoffs and reaches down to give your bum a quick swat

“i know she’s saying cookie, but i’m just going to go ahead and say that she’s actually saying the name of her favourite uncle-” jungkook sighs, reaching down to pinch hwayoung’s cheek, “화영이는 꾹이 삼촌 제일 좋아하- [uncle gookee is your forever favourite-]”

“어 응 뉘에- [yeah, okay, whatever helps you sleep at night-]” jimin snorts, shoving the camera into his hands as the four of you stand in front of hwayoung, “okay, don’t touch the cake yet! let’s get some pretty pictures of the birthday girl first!”

“hwa, look into the camera!” jungkook coos, snapping his fingers to get her to look up at him, “그래 삼촌 한 번만 봐 봐- [look at uncle goo- yeah, there we go-]”  

you watch hwayoung fondly as she continues to ham it up for the camera, her little legs kicking in anticipation under the tray

“good girl, you’re being so patient.” you hum before reaching over to pluck a cookie from the open box, “ooh, i’ve been dying to sink my teeth into one of these-” 

“i had one earlier, they’re pretty good!” jimin nods, brushing past jungkook to get to you, “the bakery i ordered them from has, like five out of five stars one google review- hey, what’s that face for?”

“eugh- do the cookies taste a little funky to you?” you face screws up as you swallow the bite before holding the cookie up to take a closer look at it, “it’s just chocolate chip, right?”

“yeah- hold on, lemme try-” jimin frowns, reaching over to steal your cookie before taking a bite of it and chewing thoughtfully

“maybe you just got a weird one?” yoongi suggests, peering into the box with a frown, “all cookies taste funky to me, so my opinion probably isn’t valid here-”

“it’s fine, i’ll try another one later-” you dust your fingers off before perking up and clapping your hands together, “hey, should yoongi and i hop in for some pictures before hwa completely destroys the entire cake?”

“yeah, it… might be a little too late for that.” jungkook clears his throat and the three of you look over to see hwayoung’s tubby arms shoved elbow deep into the cake, “i gave her the green light to go ahead and eat. she just looked so sad and hungry, i’m sorry!”

hwayoung cackles in glee as she continues slapping her hand against the cake, her grubby little hands now sticky and her new dress stained with globs of frosting chocolate

“oh my god.” you stifle a laugh and reach up to cover your mouth so that you don’t burst out laughing at the fact that both jimin and yoongi look absolutely appalled

“i spent, like, ten minutes doing her hair-” yoongi whines, gently nudging you aside so he can hurry over to hwayoung and try to salvage the neat little pigtails he spent forever working on, “and now there’s frosting everywhere!”

“that dress was expensive, jungkook!” jimin snaps, and if you didn’t know any better you’d think he was about to burst into tears, “and i didn’t even get any nice pictures with her before she- come on, man-”

“i’m sorry!”

“ahppy bodday!” hwayoung shrieks in delight and flings her arms up, chunks of cake and specks of frosting flicking out from her hands, “i adowbo!”

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[path-of-my-childhood]

Musicians On Musicians: Paul McCartney & Taylor Swift

By: Patrick Doyle for Rolling Stone Date: November 13th 2020

On songwriting secrets, making albums at home, and what they’ve learned during the pandemic.

Taylor Swift arrived early to Paul McCartney’s London office in October, “mask on, brimming with excitement.” “I mostly work from home these days,” she writes about that day, “and today feels like a rare school field trip that you actually want to go on.”

Swift showed up without a team, doing her own hair and makeup. In addition to being two of the most famous pop songwriters in the world, Swift and McCartney have spent the past year on similar journeys. McCartney, isolated at home in the U.K., recorded McCartney III. Like his first solo album, in 1970, he played nearly all of the instruments himself, resulting in some of his most wildly ambitious songs in a long time. Swift also took some new chances, writing over email with the National’s Aaron Dessner and recording the raw Folklore, which abandons arena pop entirely in favor of rich character songs. It’s the bestselling album of 2020.

Swift listened to McCartney III as she prepared for today’s conversation; McCartney delved into Folkore. Before the photo shoot, Swift caught up with his daughters Mary (who would be photographing them) and Stella (who designed Swift’s clothes; the two are close friends). “I’ve met Paul a few times, mostly onstage at parties, but we’ll get to that later,” Swift writes. “Soon he walks in with his wife, Nancy. They’re a sunny and playful pair, and I immediately feel like this will be a good day. During the shoot, Paul dances and takes almost none of it too seriously and sings along to Motown songs playing from the speakers. A few times Mary scolds, ‘Daaad, try to stand still!’ And it feels like a window into a pretty awesome family dynamic. We walk into his office for a chat, and after I make a nervous request, Paul is kind enough to handwrite my favorite lyric of his and sign it. He makes a joke about me selling it, and I laugh because it’s something I know I’ll cherish for the rest of my life. That’s around the time when we start talking about music.”

Taylor Swift: I think it’s important to note that if this year had gone the way that we thought it was going to go, you and I would have played Glastonbury this year, and instead, you and I both made albums in isolation.

Paul McCartney: Yeah!

Swift: And I remember thinking it would have been so much fun because the times that I’ve run into you, I correlate with being some of the most fun nights of my life. I was at a party with you, when everybody just started playing music. And it was Dave Grohl playing, and you...

McCartney: You were playing one of his songs, weren’t you?

Swift: Yes, I was playing his song called “Best of You,” but I was playing it on piano, and he didn’t recognize it until about halfway through. I just remember thinking, “Are you the catalyst for the most fun times ever?” Is it your willingness to get up and play music that makes everyone feel like this is a thing that can happen tonight?

McCartney: I mean, I think it’s a bit of everything, isn’t it? I’ll tell you who was very... Reese Witherspoon was like, “Are you going to sing?” I said “Oh, I don’t know.” She said, “You’ve got to, yeah!” She’s bossing me around. So I said, “Whoa,” so it’s a bit of that.

Swift: I love that person, because the party does not turn musical without that person.

McCartney: Yeah, that’s true.

Swift: If nobody says, “Can you guys play music?” we’re not going to invite ourselves up onstage at whatever living-room party it is.

McCartney: I seem to remember Woody Harrelson got on the piano, and he starts playing “Let It Be,” and I’m thinking, “I can do that better.” So I said, “Come on, move over, Woody.” So we’re both playing it. It was really nice... I love people like Dan Aykroyd, who’s just full of energy and he loves his music so much, but he’s not necessarily a musician, but he just wanders around the room, just saying, “You got to get up, got to get up, do some stuff.”

Swift: I listened to your new record. And I loved a lot of things about it, but it really did feel like kind of a flex to write, produce, and play every instrument on every track. To me, that’s like flexing a muscle and saying, “I can do all this on my own if I have to.”

McCartney: Well, I don’t think like that, I must admit. I just picked up some of these instruments over the years. We had a piano at home that my dad played, so I picked around on that. I wrote the melody to “When I’m 64” when I was, you know, a teenager.

Swift: Wow.

McCartney: When the Beatles went to Hamburg, there were always drum kits knocking around, so when there was a quiet moment, I’d say, “Do you mind if I have a knock around?” So I was able to practice, you know, without practicing. That’s why I play right-handed. Guitar was just the first instrument I got. Guitar turned to bass; it also turned into ukulele, mandolin. Suddenly, it’s like, “Wow,” but it’s really only two or three instruments.

Swift: Well, I think that’s downplaying it a little bit. In my mind, it came with a visual of you being in the country, kind of absorbing the sort of do-it-yourself [quality] that has had to come with the quarantine and this pandemic. I found that I’ve adapted a do-it-yourself mentality to a lot of things in my career that I used to outsource.  I’m just wondering what a day of recording in the pandemic looked like for you.

McCartney: Well, I’m very lucky because I have a studio that’s, like, 20 minutes away from where I live. We were in lockdown on a farm, a sheep farm with my daughter Mary and her four kids and her husband. So I had four of my grandkids, I had Mary, who’s a great cook, so I would just drive myself to the studio. And there were two other guys that could come in and we’d be very careful and distanced and everything: my engineer Steve, and then my equipment guy Keith. So the three of us made the record, and I just started off. I had to do a little bit of film music - I had to do an instrumental for a film thing - so I did that. And I just kept going, and that turned into the opening track on the album. I would just come in, say, “Oh, yeah, what are we gonna do?” [Then] have some sort of idea, and start doing it. Normally, I’d start with the instrument I wrote it on, either piano or guitar, and then probably add some drums and then a bit of bass till it started to sound like a record, and then just gradually layer it all up. It was fun.

Swift: That’s so cool.

McCartney: What about yours? You’re playing guitar and piano on yours.

Swift: Yeah, on some of it, but a lot of it was made with Aaron Dessner, who��s in a band called the National that I really love. And I had met him at a concert a year before, and I had a conversation with him, asking him how he writes. It’s my favorite thing to ask people who I’m a fan of. And he had an interesting answer. He said, “All the band members live in different parts of the world. So I make tracks. And I send them to our lead singer, Matt, and he writes the top line.” I just remember thinking, “That is really efficient.” And I kind of stored it in my brain as a future idea for a project. You know, how you have these ideas... “Maybe one day I’ll do this.” I always had in my head: “Maybe one day I’ll work with Aaron Dessner.”

So when lockdown happened, I was in L.A., and we kind of got stuck there. It’s not a terrible place to be stuck. We were there for four months maybe, and during that time, I sent an email to Aaron Dessner and I said, “Do you think you would want to work during this time? Because my brain is all scrambled, and I need to make something, even if we’re just kind of making songs that we don’t know what will happen...”

McCartney: Yeah, that was the thing. You could do stuff -  you didn’t really worry it was going to turn into anything.

Swift: Yeah, and it turned out he had been writing instrumental tracks to keep from absolutely going crazy during the pandemic as well, so he sends me this file of probably 30 instrumentals, and the first one I opened ended up being a song called “Cardigan,” and it really happened rapid-fire like that. He’d send me a track; he’d make new tracks, add to the folder; I would write the entire top line for a song, and he wouldn’t know what the song would be about, what it was going to be called, where I was going to put the chorus. I had originally thought, “Maybe I’ll make an album in the next year, and put it out in January or something,” but it ended up being done and we put it out in July. And I just thought there are no rules anymore, because I used to put all these parameters on myself, like, “How will this song sound in a stadium? How will this song sound on radio?” If you take away all the parameters, what do you make? And I guess the answer is Folklore.

McCartney: And it’s more music for yourself than music that’s got to go do a job. My thing was similar to that: After having done this little bit of film music, I had a lot of stuff that I had been working on, but I’d said, “I’m just going home now,” and it’d be left half-finished. So I just started saying, “Well, what about that? I never finished that.” So we’d pull it out, and we said, “Oh, well, this could be good.” And because it didn’t have to amount to anything, I would say, “Ah, I really want to do tape loops. I don’t care if they fit on this song, I just want to do some.” So I go and make some tape loops, and put them in the song, just really trying to do stuff that I fancy.

I had no idea it would end up as an album; I may have been a bit less indulgent, but if a track was eight minutes long, to tell you the truth, what I thought was, “I’ll be taking it home tonight, Mary will be cooking, the grandkids will all be there running around, and someone, maybe Simon, Mary’s husband, is going to say, ‘What did you do today?’ And I’m going to go, ‘Oh,’ and then get my phone and play it for them.” So this became the ritual.

Swift: That’s the coziest thing I’ve ever heard.

McCartney: Well, it’s like eight minutes long, and I said, “I hate it when I’m playing someone something and it finishes after three minutes.” I kind of like that it just [continues] on.

Swift: You want to stay in the zone.

McCartney: It just keeps going on. I would just come home, “Well, what did you do today?” “Oh, well, I did this. I’m halfway through this,” or, “We finished this.”

Swift: I was wondering about the numerology element to McCartney III. McCartney I, II, and III have all come out on years with zeroes.

McCartney: Ends of decades.

Swift: Was that important?

McCartney: Yeah, well, this was being done in 2020, and I didn’t really think about it. I think everyone expected great things of 2020. “It’s gonna be great! Look at that number! 2020! Auspicious!” Then suddenly Covid hit, and it was like, “That’s gonna be auspicious all right, but maybe for the wrong reasons.” Someone said to me, “Well, you put out McCartney right after the Beatles broke up, and that was 1970, and then you did McCartney II in 1980.” And I said, “Oh, I’m going to release this in 2020 just for whatever you call it, the numerology...”

Swift: The numerology, the kind of look, the symbolism. I love numbers. Numbers kind of rule my whole world. The numbers 13... 89 is a big one. I have a few others that I find...

McCartney: Thirteen is lucky for some.

Swift: Yeah, it’s lucky for me. It’s my birthday. It’s all these weird coincidences of good things that have happened. Now, when I see it places, I look at it as a sign that things are going the way they’re supposed to. They may not be good now, they could be painful now, but things are on a track. I don’t know, I love the numerology.

McCartney: It’s spooky, Taylor. It’s very spooky. Now wait a minute: Where’d you get 89?

Swift: That’s when I was born, in 1989, and so I see it in different places and I just think it’s...

McCartney: No, it’s good. I like that, where certain things you attach yourself to, and you get a good feeling off them. I think that’s great.

Swift: Yeah, one of my favorite artists, Bon Iver, he has this thing with the number 22. But I was also wondering: You have always kind of seeked out a band or a communal atmosphere with like, you know, the Beatles and Wings, and then Egypt Station. I thought it was interesting when I realized you had made a record with no one else. I just wondered, did that feel natural?

McCartney: It’s one of the things I’ve done. Like with McCartney, because the Beatles had broken up, there was no alternative but to get a drum kit at home, get a guitar, get an amp, get a bass, and just make something for myself. So on that album, which I didn’t really expect to do very well, I don’t think it did. But people sort of say, “I like that. It was a very casual album.” It didn’t really have to mean anything. So I’ve done that, the play-everything-myself thing. And then I discovered synths and stuff, and sequencers, so I had a few of those at home. I just thought I’m going to play around with this and record it, so that became McCartney II. But it’s a thing I do. Certain people can do it. Stevie Wonder can do it. Stevie Winwood, I believe, has done it. So there are certain people quite like that.

When you’re working with someone else, you have to worry about their variances. Whereas your own variance, you kind of know it. It’s just something I’ve grown to like. Once you can do it, it becomes a little bit addictive. I actually made some records under the name the Fireman.

Swift: Love a pseudonym.

McCartney: Yeah, for the fun! But, you know, let’s face it, you crave fame and attention when you’re young. And I just remembered the other day, I was the guy in the Beatles that would write to journalists and say [speaks in a formal voice]: “We are a semiprofessional rock combo, and I’d think you’d like [us]... We’ve written over 100 songs (which was a lie), my friend John and I. If you mention us in your newspaper...” You know, I was always, like, craving the attention.

Swift: The hustle! That’s so great, though.

McCartney: Well, yeah, you need that.

Swift: Yeah, I think, when a pseudonym comes in is when you still have a love for making the work and you don’t want the work to become overshadowed by this thing that’s been built around you, based on what people know about you. And that’s when it’s really fun to create fake names and write under them.

McCartney: Do you ever do that?

Swift: Oh, yeah.

McCartney: Oh, yeah? Oh, well, we didn’t know that! Is that a widely known fact?

Swift: I think it is now, but it wasn’t. I wrote under the name Nils Sjöberg because those are two of the most popular names of Swedish males. I wrote this song called “This Is What You Came For” that Rihanna ended up singing. And nobody knew for a while. I remembered always hearing that when Prince wrote “Manic Monday,” they didn’t reveal it for a couple of months.

McCartney: Yeah, it also proves you can do something without the fame tag. I did something for Peter and Gordon; my girlfriend’s brother and his mate were in a band called Peter and Gordon. And I used to write under the name Bernard Webb.

Swift: [Laughs.] That’s a good one! I love it.

McCartney: As Americans call it, Ber-nard Webb. I did the Fireman thing. I worked with a producer, a guy called Youth, who’s this real cool dude. We got along great. He did a mix for me early on, and we got friendly. I would just go into the studio, and he would say, “Hey, what about this groove?” and he’d just made me have a little groove going. He’d say, “You ought to put some bass on it. Put some drums on it.” I’d just spend the whole day putting stuff on it. And we’d make these tracks, and nobody knew who Fireman was for a while. We must have sold all of 15 copies.

Swift: Thrilling, absolutely thrilling.

McCartney: And we didn’t mind, you know?

Swift: I think it’s so cool that you do projects that are just for you. Because I went with my family to see you in concert in 2010 or 2011, and the thing I took away from the show most was that it was the most selfless set list I had ever seen. It was completely geared toward what it would thrill us to hear. It had new stuff, but it had every hit we wanted to hear, every song we’d ever cried to, every song people had gotten married to, or been brokenhearted to. And I just remembered thinking, “I’ve got to remember that,” that you do that set list for your fans.

McCartney: You do that, do you?

Swift: I do now. I think that learning that lesson from you taught me at a really important stage in my career that if people want to hear “Love Story” and “Shake It Off,” and I’ve played them 300 million times, play them the 300-millionth-and-first time. I think there are times to be selfish in your career, and times to be selfless, and sometimes they line up.

McCartney: I always remembered going to concerts as a kid, completely before the Beatles, and I really hoped they would play the ones I loved. And if they didn’t, it was kind of disappointing. I had no money, and the family wasn’t wealthy. So this would be a big deal for me, to save up for months to afford the concert ticket.

Swift: Yeah, it feels like a bond. It feels like that person on the stage has given something, and it makes you as a crowd want to give even more back, in terms of applause, in terms of dedication. And I just remembered feeling that bond in the crowd, and thinking, “He’s up there playing these Beatles songs, my dad is crying, my mom is trying to figure out how to work her phone because her hands are shaking so much.” Because seeing the excitement course through not only me, but my family and the entire crowd in Nashville, it just was really special. I love learning lessons and not having to learn them the hard way. Like learning nice lessons I really value.

McCartney: Well, that’s great, and I’m glad that set you on that path. I understand people who don’t want to do that, and if you do, they’ll say, “Oh, it’s a jukebox show.” I hear what they’re saying. But I think it’s a bit of a cheat, because the people who come to our shows have spent a lot of money. We can afford to go to a couple of shows and it doesn’t make much difference. But a lot of ordinary working folks... it’s a big event in their life, and so I try and deliver. I also, like you say, try and put in a few weirdos.

Swift: That’s the best. I want to hear current things, too, to update me on where the artist is. I was wondering about lyrics, and where you were lyrically when you were making this record. Because when I was making Folklore, I went lyrically in a total direction of escapism and romanticism. And I wrote songs imagining I was, like, a pioneer woman in a forbidden love affair [laughs]. I was completely...

McCartney: Was this “I want to give you a child”? Is that one of the lines?

Swift: Oh, that’s a song called “Peace.”

McCartney: “Peace,” I like that one.

Swift: “Peace” is actually more rooted in my personal life. I know you have done a really excellent job of this in your personal life: carving out a human life within a public life, and how scary that can be when you do fall in love and you meet someone, especially if you’ve met someone who has a very grounded, normal way of living. I, oftentimes, in my anxieties, can control how I am as a person and how normal I act and rationalize things, but I cannot control if there are 20 photographers outside in the bushes and what they do and if they follow our car and if they interrupt our lives. I can’t control if there’s going to be a fake weird headline about us in the news tomorrow.

McCartney: So how does that go? Does your partner sympathize with that and understand?

Swift: Oh, absolutely.

McCartney: They have to, don’t they?

Swift: But I think that in knowing him and being in the relationship I am in now, I have definitely made decisions that have made my life feel more like a real life and less like just a storyline to be commented on in tabloids. Whether that’s deciding where to live, who to hang out with, when to not take a picture - the idea of privacy feels so strange to try to explain, but it’s really just trying to find bits of normalcy. That’s what that song “Peace” is talking about. Like, would it be enough if I could never fully achieve the normalcy that we both crave? Stella always tells me that she had as normal a childhood as she could ever hope for under the circumstances.

McCartney: Yeah, it was very important to us to try and keep their feet on the ground amongst the craziness.

Swift: She went to a regular school...

McCartney: Yeah, she did.

Swift: And you would go trick-or-treating with them, wearing masks.

McCartney: All of them did, yeah. It was important, but it worked pretty well, because when they kind of reached adulthood, they would meet other kids who might have gone to private schools, who were a little less grounded.

And they could be the budding mothers to [kids]. I remember Mary had a friend, Orlando. Not Bloom. She used to really counsel him. And it’s ’cause she’d gone through that. Obviously, they got made fun of, my kids. They’d come in the classroom and somebody would sing, “Na na na na,” you know, one of the songs. And they’d have to handle that. They’d have to front it out.

Swift: Did that give you a lot of anxiety when you had kids, when you felt like all this pressure that’s been put on me is spilling over onto them, that they didn’t sign up for it? Was that hard for you?

McCartney: Yeah, a little bit, but it wasn’t like it is now. You know, we were just living a kind of semi-hippie life, where we withdrew from a lot of stuff. The kids would be doing all the ordinary things, and their school friends would be coming up to the house and having parties, and it was just great. I remember one lovely evening when it was Stella’s birthday, and she brought a bunch of school kids up. And, you know, they’d all ignore me. It happens very quickly. At first they’re like, “Oh, yeah, he’s like a famous guy,” and then it’s like [yawns]. I like that. I go in the other room and suddenly I hear this music going on. And one of the kids, his name was Luke, and he’s doing break dancing.

Swift: Ohhh!

McCartney: He was a really good break dancer, so all the kids are hanging out. That allowed them to be kind of normal with those kids. The other thing is, I don’t live fancy. I really don’t. Sometimes it’s a little bit of an embarrassment, if I’ve got someone coming to visit me, or who I know…

Swift: Cares about that stuff?

McCartney: Who’s got a nice big house, you know. Quincy Jones came to see me and I’m, like, making him a veggie burger or something. I’m doing some cooking. This was after I’d lost Linda, in between there. But the point I’m making is that I’m very consciously thinking, “Oh, God, Quincy’s got to be thinking, ‘What is this guy on? He hasn’t got big things going on. It’s not a fancy house at all. And we’re eating in the kitchen! He’s not even got the dining room going,’” you know?

Swift: I think that sounds like a perfect day.

McCartney: But that’s me. I’m awkward like that. That’s my kind of thing. Maybe I should have, like, a big stately home. Maybe I should get a staff. But I think I couldn’t do that. I’d be so embarrassed. I’d want to walk around dressed as I want to walk around, or naked, if I wanted to.

Swift: That can’t happen in Downton Abbey.

McCartney: [Laughs.] Exactly.

Swift: I remember what I wanted to know about, which is lyrics. Like, when you’re in this kind of strange, unparalleled time, and you’re making this record, are lyrics first? Or is it when you get a little melodic idea?

McCartney: It was a bit of both. As it kind of always is with me. There’s no fixed way. People used to ask me and John, “Well, who does the words, who does the music?” I used to say, “We both do both.” We used to say we don’t have a formula, and we don’t want one. Because the minute we get a formula, we should rip it up. I will sometimes, as I did with a couple of songs on this album, sit down at the piano and just start noodling around, and I’ll get a little idea and start to fill that out. So the lyrics - for me, it’s following a trail. I’ll start [sings “Find My Way,” a song from “McCartney III”]: “I can find my way. I know my left from right, da da da.” And I’ll just sort of fill it in. Like, we know this song, and I’m trying to remember the lyrics. Sometimes I’ll just be inspired by something. I had a little book which was all about the constellations and the stars and the orbits of Venus and...

Swift: Oh, I know that song - “The Kiss of Venus”?

McCartney: Yeah, “The Kiss of Venus.” And I just thought, “That’s a nice phrase.” So I was actually just taking phrases out of the book, harmonic sounds. And the book is talking about the maths of the universe, and how when things orbit around each other, and if you trace all the patterns, it becomes like a lotus flower.

Swift: Wow.

McCartney: It’s very magical.

Swift: That is magical. I definitely relate to needing to find magical things in this very not-magical time, needing to read more books and learn to sew, and watch movies that take place hundreds of years ago. In a time where, if you look at the news, you just want to have a panic attack - I really relate to the idea that you are thinking about stars and constellations.

McCartney: Did you do that on Folklore?

Swift: Yes. I was reading so much more than I ever did, and watching so many more films.

McCartney: What stuff were you reading?

Swift: I was reading, you know, books like Rebecca, by Daphne du Maurier, which I highly recommend, and books that dealt with times past, a world that doesn’t exist anymore. I was also using words I always wanted to use - kind of bigger, flowerier, prettier words, like “epiphany,” in songs. I always thought, “Well, that’ll never track on pop radio,” but when I was making this record, I thought, “What tracks? Nothing makes sense anymore. If there’s chaos everywhere, why don’t I just use the damn word I want to use in the song?”

McCartney: Exactly. So you’d see the word in a book and think, “I love that word”?

Swift: Yeah, I have favorite words, like “elegies” and “epiphany” and “divorcée,” and just words that I think sound beautiful, and I have lists and lists of them.

McCartney: How about “marzipan”?

Swift: Love “marzipan.”

McCartney: The other day, I was remembering when we wrote “Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds”: “kaleidoscope.”

Swift: “Kaleidoscope” is one of mine! I have a song on 1989, a song called “Welcome to New York,” that I put the word “kaleidoscope” in just because I’m obsessed with the word.

McCartney: I think a love of words is a great thing, particularly if you’re going to try to write a lyric, and for me, it’s like, “What is this going to say to that person?” I often feel like I’m writing to someone who is not doing so well. So I’m trying to write songs that might help. Not in a goody-goody, crusading kind of way, but just thinking there have been so many times in my life when I’ve heard a song and felt so much better. I think that’s the angle I want, that inspirational thing.

I remember once, a friend of mine from Liverpool, we were teenagers and we were going to a fairground. He was a schoolmate, and we had these jackets that had a little fleck in the material, which was the cool thing at the time.

Swift: We should have done matching jackets for this photo shoot.

McCartney: Find me a fleck, I’m in. But we went to the fair, and I just remember - this is what happens with songs - there was this girl at the fair. This is just a little Liverpool fair - it was in a place called Sefton Park - and there was this girl, who was so beautiful. She wasn’t a star. She was so beautiful. Everyone was following her, and it’s like, “Wow.” It’s like a magical scene, you know? But all this gave me a headache, so I ended up going back to his house - I didn’t normally get headaches. And we thought, “What can we do?” So we put on the Elvis song “All Shook Up.” By the end of that song, my headache had gone. I thought, you know, “That’s powerful.”

Swift: That really is powerful.

McCartney: I love that, when people stop me in the street and say, “Oh, I was going through an illness and I listened to a lot of your stuff, and I’m better now and it got me through,” or kids will say, “It got me through exams.” You know, they’re studying, they’re going crazy, but they put your music on. I’m sure it happens with a lot of your fans. It inspires them, you know?

Swift: Yeah, I definitely think about that as a goal. There’s so much stress everywhere you turn that I kind of wanted to make an album that felt sort of like a hug, or like your favorite sweater that makes you feel like you want to put it on.

McCartney: What, a “cardigan”?

Swift: Like a good cardigan, a good, worn-in cardigan. Or something that makes you reminisce on your childhood. I think sadness can be cozy. It can obviously be traumatic and stressful, too, but I kind of was trying to lean into sadness that feels like somehow enveloping in not such a scary way - like nostalgia and whimsy incorporated into a feeling like you’re not all right. Because I don’t think anybody was really feeling like they were in their prime this year. Isolation can mean escaping into your imagination in a way that’s kind of nice.

McCartney: I think a lot of people have found that. I would say to people, “I feel a bit guilty about saying I’m actually enjoying this quarantine thing,” and people go, “Yeah, I know, don’t say it to anyone.” A lot of people are really suffering.

Swift: Because there’s a lot in life that’s arbitrary. Completely and totally arbitrary. And [the quarantine] is really shining a light on that, and also a lot of things we have that we outsource that you can actually do yourself.

McCartney: I love that. This is why I said I live simply. That’s, like, at the core of it. With so many things, something goes wrong and you go, “Oh, I’ll get somebody to fix that.” And then it’s like, “No, let me have a look at it...”

Swift: Get a hammer and a nail.

McCartney: “Maybe I can put that picture up.” It’s not rocket science. The period after the Beatles, when we went to live in Scotland on a really - talk about dumpy - little farm. I mean, I see pictures of it now and I’m not ashamed, but I’m almost ashamed. Because it’s like, “God, nobody’s cleaned up around here.”

But it was really a relief. Because when I was with the Beatles, we’d formed Apple Records, and if I wanted a Christmas tree, someone would just buy it. And I thought, after a while, “No, you know what? I really would like to go and buy our Christmas tree. Because that’s what everyone does.” So you go down - “I’ll have that one” - and you carried it back. I mean, it’s little, but it’s huge at the same time.

I needed a table in Scotland and I was looking through a catalog and I thought, “I could make one. I did woodwork in school, so I know what a dovetail joint is.” So I just figured it out. I’m just sitting in the kitchen, and I’m whittling away at this wood and I made this little joint. There was no nail technology - it was glue. And I was scared to put it together. I said, “It’s not going to fit,” but one day, I got my woodwork glue and thought, “There’s no going back.” But it turned out to be a real nice little table I was very proud of. It was that sense of achievement.

The weird thing was, Stella went up to Scotland recently and I said, “Isn’t it there?” and she said, “No.” Anyway, I searched for it. Nobody remembered it. Somebody said, “Well, there’s a pile of wood in the corner of one of the barns, maybe that’s it. Maybe they used it for firewood.” I said, “No, it’s not firewood.” Anyway, we found it, and do you know how joyous that was for me? I was like, “You found my table?!” Somebody might say that’s a bit boring.

Swift: No, it’s cool!

McCartney: But it was a real sort of great thing for me to be able to do stuff for yourself. You were talking about sewing. I mean normally, in your position, you’ve got any amount of tailors.

Swift: Well, there’s been a bit of a baby boom recently; several of my friends have gotten pregnant.

McCartney: Oh, yeah, you’re at the age.

Swift: And I was just thinking, “I really want to spend time with my hands, making something for their children.” So I made this really cool flying-squirrel stuffed animal that I sent to one of my friends. I sent a teddy bear to another one, and I started making these little silk baby blankets with embroidery. It’s gotten pretty fancy. And I’ve been painting a lot.

McCartney: What do you paint? Watercolors?

Swift: Acrylic or oil. Whenever I do watercolor, all I paint is flowers. When I have oil, I really like to do landscapes. I always kind of return to painting a lonely little cottage on a hill.

McCartney: It’s a bit of a romantic dream. I agree with you, though, I think you’ve got to have dreams, particularly this year. You’ve got to have something to escape to. When you say “escapism,” it sounds like a dirty word, but this year, it definitely wasn’t. And in the books you’re reading, you’ve gone into that world. That’s, I think, a great thing. Then you come back out. I normally will read a lot before I go to bed. So I’ll come back out, then I’ll go to sleep, so I think it really is nice to have those dreams that can be fantasies or stuff you want to achieve.

Swift: You’re creating characters. This was the first album where I ever created characters, or wrote about the life of a real-life person. There’s a song called “The Last Great American Dynasty” that’s about this real-life heiress who lived just an absolutely chaotic, hectic...

McCartney: She’s a fantasy character?

Swift: She’s a real person. Who lived in the house that I live in.

McCartney: She’s a real person? I listened to that and I thought, “Who is this?”

Swift: Her name was Rebekah Harkness. And she lived in the house that I ended up buying in Rhode Island. That’s how I learned about her. But she was a woman who was very, very talked about, and everything she did was scandalous. I found a connection in that. But I also was thinking about how you write “Eleanor Rigby” and go into that whole story about what all these people in this town are doing and how their lives intersect, and I hadn’t really done that in a very long time with my music. It had always been so microscope personal.

McCartney: Yeah, ’cause you were writing breakup songs like they were going out of style.

Swift: I was, before my luck changed [laughs]. I still write breakup songs. I love a good breakup song. Because somewhere in the world, I always have a friend going through a breakup, and that will make me write one.

McCartney: Yeah, this goes back to this thing of me and John: When you’ve got a formula, break it. I don’t have a formula. It’s the mood I’m in. So I love the idea of writing a character. And, you know, trying to think, “What am I basing this on?” So “Eleanor Rigby” was based on old ladies I knew as a kid. For some reason or other, I got great relationships with a couple of local old ladies. I was thinking the other day, I don’t know how I met them, it wasn’t like they were family. I’d just run into them, and I’d do their shopping for them.

Swift: That’s amazing.

McCartney: It just felt good to me. I would sit and talk, and they’d have amazing stories. That’s what I liked. They would have stories from the wartime - because I was born actually in the war - and so these old ladies, they were participating in the war. This one lady I used to sort of just hang out with, she had a crystal radio that I found very magical. In the war, a lot of people made their own radios - you’d make them out of crystals [sings “The Twilight Zone” theme].

Swift: How did I not know this? That sounds like something I would have tried to learn about.

McCartney: It’s interesting, because there is a lot of parallels with the virus and lockdowns and wartime. It happened to everyone. Like, this isn’t HIV, or SARS, or Avian flu, which happened to others, generally. This has happened to everyone, all around the world. That’s the defining thing about this particular virus. And, you know, my parents... it happened to everyone in Britain, including the queen and Churchill. War happened. So they were all part of this thing, and they all had to figure out a way through it. So you figured out Folklore. I figured out McCartney III.

Swift: And a lot of people have been baking sourdough bread. Whatever gets you through!

McCartney: Some people used to make radios. And they’d take a crystal - we should look it up, but it actually is a crystal. I thought, “Oh, no, they just called it a crystal radio,” but it’s actually crystals like we know and love.

Swift: Wow.

McCartney: And somehow they get the radio waves - this crystal attracts them - they tune it in, and that’s how they used to get their news. Back to “Eleanor Rigby,” so I would think of her and think of what she’s doing and then just try to get lyrical, just try to bring poetry into it, words you love, just try to get images like “picks up the rice in the church where a wedding has been,” and Father McKenzie “is darning his socks in the night.” You know, he’s a religious man, so I could’ve said, you know, “preparing his Bible,” which would have been more obvious. But “darning his socks” kind of says more about him. So you get into this lovely fantasy. And that’s the magic of songs, you know. It’s a black hole, and then you start doing this process, and then there’s this beautiful little flower that you’ve just made. So it is very like embroidery, making something.

Swift: Making a table.

McCartney: Making a table.

Swift: Wow, it would’ve been so fun to play Glastonbury for the 50th anniversary together.

McCartney: It would’ve been great, wouldn’t it? And I was going to be asking you to play with me.

Swift: Were you going to invite me? I was hoping that you would. I was going to ask you.

McCartney: I would’ve done “Shake It Off.”

Swift: Oh, my God, that would have been amazing.

McCartney: I know it, it’s in C!

Swift: One thing I just find so cool about you is that you really do seem to have the joy of it, still, just no matter what. You seem to have the purest sense of joy of playing an instrument and making music, and that’s just the best, I think.

McCartney: Well, we’re just so lucky, aren’t we?

Swift: We’re really lucky.

McCartney: I don’t know if it ever happens to you, but with me, it’s like, “Oh, my god, I’ve ended up as a musician.”

Swift: Yeah, I can’t believe it’s my job.

McCartney: I must tell you a story I told Mary the other day, which is just one of my favorite little sort of Beatles stories. We were in a terrible, big blizzard, going from London to Liverpool, which we always did. We’d be working in London and then drive back in the van, just the four of us with our roadie, who would be driving. And this was a blizzard. You couldn’t see the road. At one point, it slid off and it went down an embankment. So it was “Ahhh,” a bunch of yelling. We ended up at the bottom. It didn’t flip, luckily, but so there we are, and then it’s like, “Oh, how are we going to get back up? We’re in a van. It’s snowing, and there’s no way.” We’re all standing around in a little circle, and thinking, “What are we going to do?” And one of us said, “Well, something will happen.” And I thought that was just the greatest. I love that, that’s a philosophy.

Swift: “Something will happen.”

McCartney: And it did. We sort of went up the bank, we thumbed a lift, we got the lorry driver to take us, and Mal, our roadie, sorted the van and everything. So that was kind of our career. And I suppose that’s like how I ended up being a musician and a songwriter: “Something will happen.”

Swift: That’s the best.

McCartney: It’s so stupid it’s brilliant. It’s great if you’re ever in that sort of panic attack: “Oh, my God,” or, “Ahhh, what am I going to do?”

Swift: “Something will happen.”

McCartney: All right then, thanks for doing this, and this was, you know, a lot of fun.

Swift: You’re the best. This was so awesome. Those were some quality stories!

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 315: I Didn’t Expect This to Blow Up

Previously on BnHA: Horikoshi was all “guess which plot that you thought was dead is actually not dead and is making a comeback!” and we were all “EVIL HPSC??” and he was all “girl you know it,” and that’s the story of how we got a sexy Lady Nagant flashback with lots of guns and murder. Flashback!Lady was all “gotta murder peeps to preserve the people’s trust,” but then a little while later she was like “actually wait that makes no sense,” and so she shot her evil boss and they sent her to jail. Back in the present, Deku was all “okay fair, the hero system might in fact be a little fucked up, but hear me out... have you considered not helping AFO take over the world so he can murder like a bazillion more innocent people??” The chapter ended with the not-all-there Overhaul finally revealing himself to Deku, and I honestly have no idea where this is gonna go.

Today on BnHA: In what is unfortunately the single worst plan ever concocted by anyone in BnHA, Nagant is all “I’m going to try and get this Deku kid to panic and freeze up by putting someone in mortal danger.” Deku is all, “[doesn’t panic and freeze up at the sight of someone in mortal danger].” Nagant is all “omg no way.” Deku, who is now all of a sudden being so OP that even I have to acknowledge that it’s OP lol, is all “[smashes Nagant’s gun arm to bits]”, which sucks but is also really cool, and which also apparently makes Nagant decide that she actually likes this kid after all. Deku is all “NAGANT I REALLY LIKE YOU AND THINK YOU’RE GREAT SO PLEASE JOIN UP WITH ME AND STOP BEING EVIL.” Nagant is all “aw shucks (✿ •͈ᴗ•͈) well okay then” and everyone is all “( ･◡･) ✰ ( ˆᴗˆ ) ( ᵘ ᵕ ᵘ ⁎)” and then Nagant FUCKING EXPLODES LIKE AN EGG IN THE MICROWAVE AND FALLS TO HER DEATH!!!! except not really because Hawks saves her??? In conclusion, (a) THE FUCK, and (b) AFO TURN ON YOUR LOCATION I JUST WANT TO TALK.

so I have to tell you guys something, which is that barely ten minutes after I made that “please don’t send me spoilers” post the other day, someone replied to the comments in a stunning fit of “tell me that you’re twelve without actually telling me you’re twelve” energy and posted what seemed to be the copy-pasted spoiler summary from reddit or twitter or whatever lol. so here is my good news/bad news rundown of all that

good news: I have very well-conditioned ABORT!! reflexes and have trained myself to immediately look away from the screen (usually in dramatic fashion) as soon as I realize that whatever I’m reading is a spoiler

bad news: unfortunately as I was subsequently deleting said comments, I accidentally read the very last one

good news??: said spoiler was so unbelievably, absurdly over-the-top that I’m almost positive this person was just trolling. like, there’s just no way lmao

bad news: but in the unlikely event that it is true I will absolutely lose my shit I swear to god

(ETA: “NAGANT DIES.” that was the spoiler I read lol. like, literally all I read from the person’s comments was “My Hero Academia Chapter 315 Title: “Beautiful Words.” Chapter starts with...” and then I noped out of there, and then of all the comments to read as I was deleting, it had to be that one lol. I seriously was just like “SURE, JAN.” all “just how gullible do you think I am” sob. but I was wrong. a troll, but an honest troll they remain.

but anyways like I’m pretty sure Nagant isn’t even actually dead lol, so in the end this whole little adventure doesn’t even have a point to it, but for me it was a journey!)

anyway, so there are apparently two versions of the chapter today?? no idea what the difference is, but I’m going to go with the Bean version, because it’s the one at the top and I don’t feel like making decisions today

huh, so Overhaul is actually more coherent than Horikoshi was letting on

look at him having a whole back and forth conversation with her. side note, how is he still this jacked when he’s been sitting in a cell doing absolutely nothing for the past six months

anyway so he says he’ll go with her on one condition. I wonder what that condition could possibly be. do you think it could be the thing he literally hasn’t shut up about ever since he reappeared lol

yep! and damn -- maybe this guy will surprise me after all

still would be nice if you also felt a bit sorry for the little girl you tortured and traumatized, but this is something at least. maybe Deku will yell at him for that other stuff lol

(ETA: also can’t help but wonder if he wants to make amends because he put him in a coma, or because his plan was a failure and ended up destroying the family. just hoping you’ve finally had that “hurting other people is bad” epiphany dude.)

anyways so now Nagant’s arm is transforming again, and this particular transformation happens to be the only truly unsexy thing that Nagant has done thus far so I’m just gonna skip right on ahead lol

aaaaand we’re back to the delirious ranting

buddy. just. read the fucking room, guy

wow she really is aiming at Overhaul, then. those theories were spot-on

damn she’s really out here all “it really fucks with kids’ heads when you kill people right in front of them and make them blame themselves” like yo

I’m picturing her saying all this in a very loud stage-whispery tone while making very significant eye contact with Deku lol

uh oh but wait

um. okay. who’s gonna tell her. Nagant I might have some bad news for you about the kid you’re trying to capture here. specifically about the way he tends to do the opposite of what you’re thinking that he’s about to do

holy shit

so it’s basically just “tap x repeatedly to charge up your attack” lol

and okay, so that’s cool and all, but is anyone else wincing at the thought of what that must be like on his knees. oh to be young

anyway, but so to the surprise of basically no one, Deku did not, in fact, freeze. I am very sorry, Nagant. he’s just like this

LMAO

someone wanna tell me how getting yoloed in the fucking ribs by this fucking slingshot kid moving at literal sniper bullet speed is in any way even remotely better than getting hit by the bullet itself lol

(ETA: this is 10x funnier now that we know the bullet wasn’t even gonna hit him lmao.)

anyway so now Nagant is having an extended “!?!?!?” reaction about how Deku just moved with no hesitation, and I’m starting to get an inkling of fear that the rest of this fight isn’t going to go very well for her and maybe that’s what all the “hoo boy” is about

oh my god Deku are you about to Gomu Gomu no Rocket yourself at her you insane little man

now Three is popping up again and he’s all “I see you’ve learned your lesson and are now only using three quirks at once instead of five” like with all this effusive praise about how great and badass Deku is and sob, okay, yeah. this chapter is basically one of those machines that shoots tennis balls at people, except instead of tennis balls it shoots hot piping discourse

OH MY GOD

YOOOOOOOOOO but also, NOOOOOOOOOOO

lol oh my god it’s literally two opposing reactions at once wtf. do I love this or hate this. like just for once can Horikoshi actually let a badass lady character win their fucking fight without getting their arm ripped off, BUT ALSO fucking look at that absurdly cool “SMASH” onomatopoeia though. it looks like it’s about to float right off the page holy shit that’s some seriously good art

anyway so is this really the end?? do I need to break out my ಠ_ಠ faces

lmao okay yeah I can definitely see how this would piss a lot of people off

he basically one-shotted her and she’s all “damn this kid is so amazing that I’m about to do a complete 180 turn on all of my previous angst” lmao. Horikoshi is really shounening it up today

on the plus side though, maybe this means there’s still a chance for her to join up with him after all? unless that spoiler was true lmao, then all hell is gonna break loose

YESSSSSSS

OH MY GOD AND HE SAYS THE BULLET WOULDN’T HAVE DONE MORE THAN GRAZE OVERHAUL ANYWAY, wow, I’m actually more relieved by that than I would have expected. I mean I would have forgiven her either way, but it means that there was still more hero in her than she was letting on

YES!!! FUCKING YES, THANK YOU

lol but I mean, it’s also like, “oh so today they get to have brain cells”, thank you so much lol. sometimes it’s really hard to tell which times we’re supposed to question these character decisions that seem dumb, and which times we’re just supposed to full on embrace them and switch off our critical thinking

but okay, so in this case it really was Nagant going easy on him on purpose, and not just her fucking up for no good reason even though she used to do this for a living and was the best in the game. and I know in this case it’s probably just Horikoshi giving us some consolation headpats to soften the blow of her losing so abruptly, but you know what, shit. I’ll take it

also you guys the light is coming back into Deku’s eyes again for just a moment here and I’m having feels about it?? the way it still comes back when he’s reaching out to save someone, and following his own hero path instead of the much darker and lonelier Christopher Nolan path that’s been laid out for him instead that he never wanted?? it’s both reassuring and also very sad

YESSSSSSSSSSS

DO IT LADY OMG PLEASE?? PLEASE COME BE HIS NEW IRRESPONSIBLE ADULT SUPERVISION YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO

AHHHHHHH SHE’S GONNA DO IT AHHHH

p.s. I am now absolutely scared shitless that that spoiler was actually true sob. swear to god, I will throw this manga into a fucking volcano. but we’re almost at the end of the chapter and this seems just WAY TOO GOOD to be true fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck f

UCK

NOPE NAH SEND IT BACK, NOPE, NUH UH, DIDN’T ORDER THIS. “GULLIBLE” OKAY FUCK YOU?? “COUNTERMEASURES” NOPE, DON’T NEED ‘EM, WE’RE ALL FINE HERE. WE’RE ACTUALLY GOOD SO YOU CAN JUST GO, OKAY. PLEASE

fuck, lol, I don’t wanna do it. I don’t wanna scroll down what have I ever done to deserve this oh my god

WHAT THE HONEY-ROASTED FUCK

WHERE THE FUCK IS THAT FUCKING VOLCANO IN ICELAND THAT I KEEP SEEING ALL THESE PICTURES OF. WHERE THE FUCK IS THAT SHIT. LET’S GO

ARE YOU SERIOUS RIGHT NOW

can someone please give AFO a really good, sharpish kick in the balls. just really let him have it. I’m so tired, what the fuck

-- ARE YOU KIDDING ME LOL WHAT

bro. I was literally going through my Excel folders to find the spreadsheet about female characters in BnHA that I made back when Midnight died. was gearing myself up for a wholeass rant. and honestly I might just let all of that continue simmering on low to keep it warm just in case lol, because to tell you the truth I have absolutely no idea what’s happening right now

my girl straight up does not have a face. she used to have a face. people usually need those, idk. like, even if she’s alive, her gorgeous eyebrows are definitely not making it out of this and I’m gonna throw a funeral just for them

how the fuck did AFO just blow her up?? how did he know what was going on?? and if he had a quirk that could explode people at will, why is this the first we’re hearing of it?? you’d think that might have come in handy at Kamino or Jakku, like what

(ETA: present!me, who’s had more than three hours of sleep and can now actually remember facts about the series, would like to remind past!me that AFO gave Nagant a quirk, and so this is probably just more Vestige shenanigans now on his part. that’s also probably why Air Walk suddenly stopped working out of nowhere. still doesn’t explain why he doesn’t go around blowing people up more often though but maybe he thinks it’s gauche.)

Hawks just straight up out of nowhere. just Mirioed his way straight into the chapter just in time to be too late sob. here I was looking forward to seeing your face when Deku showed up with his new best friend. can’t believe Horikoshi deprived us of that moment

on the plus side, WELCOME BACK, HAWKS’S FEATHERS. I have no doubt that in this chapter of Deku being an almighty threequirk-mastering god, and Nagant losing anticlimactically only to be immediately blown up because girl characters in BnHA can only be cool for one fight and one fight only, there are still some people who are focusing solely on the “how dare Hawks get his wings back when he is a MURDERER this is an outrage what about CONSEQUENCES” discourse, and to hell with all the other discourses lmao

anyway, so yeah. wow. and now it’s just occurring to me that maybe the real reason why Overhaul is there is so he can get a head start on that amend-making by actually doing a good thing for once in his life, and using his quirk to heal Nagant. assuming he can still do that

and so now Horikoshi has got me out here actually rooting for Overhaul. you know what, on that note I think I’m just gonna go ahead and call it a day sob

[jananakookie]

Beauty | kth - Chapter 6.2

Pairing: Taehyung x OC (Reader) , slight Jimin x OC

Genre/Tags: Strangers to Lovers, Idiots to lovers (kinda), single dad; humor (-ish?), slow burn, angst, fluff, smut

Chapter Warnings: Foul language, bloody lips (Taehyung throwing some punches y'all), heartbreak, use of alcohol, mentions of dog attack and emotional distraught after, anxiety, low self-esteem

Word count: 12.7k

Series summary: Taehyung knows what beauty is. He sees it every day.

You feel like you haven’t seen real beauty in a while but you think you remember what it looked like.

Or maybe you both have no idea?

Previous Chapter / Chapter List / Next Chapter

Chapter 6.2

Making the decision to suddenly leave Busan overnight is one thing. Somehow telling your parents about your plans without them asking questions that might make you sweat is an entirely different matter.

And you're experiencing that right at this moment.

“You said you’re going to leave next week. Why does it have to be so urgent all of a sudden?“ Your Dad asks, making a grim face.

“Dad, I already told you.“ You sigh, getting frustrated. “I have a job, and they need me to come back soon.“ A little white lie never hurt anybody, right? “Also, you guys won’t let me do anything for you, so what’s the reason for me to be here any longer?“ You ask while packing your stuff together.

Your Dad scoffs, probably sensing your bullshit even if you were miles away, “So what, your bosses just realized they can’t manage without you for a few more days?“ He asks, obviously calling out your lie.

You simply shrug your shoulders, trying to not let your nervousness show. “They just have a lot on their minds, and it slipped. It has probably happened to you before too.“

“It hasn’t, actually.“ He shortly replies to you, making you roll your eyes.

“Leave her alone, darling. I’m sure she has her reasons.“ Your Mum suddenly chimes in after staying surprisingly quiet for the last couple of minutes. When you look at her, she gives you a suspicious wink, which you can’t quite assign.

“Okay, thanks, Mum but what’s with the weird wink?“ You can’t help but ask.

Your mother simply grins mischievously. “Well, I didn’t actually want to say anything in front of your Father but could your sudden departure have something to do with the nice young man you video chatted with yesterday?“ She suddenly asks, making your mouth fall open instantly while your dad just looks confused.

“Wha— Mum! Did you really just sneak up on me last night and overheard me having a private chat with a friend?“ You ask in total disbelieve.

Obviously not seeing anything wrong with her behavior, she only shrugs and smiles brightly. “I actually just happened to walk past your room when I heard voices. Your door wasn't closed, and I just peeked inside and saw that you were video chatting with someone,“ She explains, “don’t worry, I haven't heard any details from your conversation. I just saw you talking to someone and then left.“

You’re just about to say something when she suddenly starts speaking again, “But the good-looking face has not escaped my sight.“ She winks.

Even if you have nothing to hide and are no longer of the age at which you still have to justify yourself in this regard to your parents, you can feel yourself getting warm and your cheeks gain color. After almost seven months in which you live all by yourself, without anyone else, at some point, you stopped closing the doors, and this is what you get now.

“Wait wait wait, who is she talking about?“ Your dad now asks, finally catching on and growing curious himself. “I didn’t think you’d be dating again so soon, but I think that’s great! I'm happy you moved on.“

You pinch the bridge of your nose in frustration, “we’re just friends, okay? There’s nothing else going on between us.“ You clarify, making your parents look at you expectantly. “I actually look after his daughter when he’s at work.“

Your Mum’s face falls as soon as you explain the situation. “He’s married? That’s a shame, he seemed so nice, and he sounded like he really cares about your well-being.“ She pouts.

Amused by her statement, you raise a brow in question. “Oh did he now? I thought you didn’t hear anything from our conversation?“ You smirk, thinking you caught her lie.

“I said I didn’t hear any details. Of course, I heard something, I in fact am not deaf yet, ___.“ Your Mum simply shrugs.

“Well, to your information, Taehyung isn’t married anymore, and his daughter’s mother isn’t around, which is why I have agreed to help whenever I can.“ You explain.

“So you’re working as a nanny?“ Your Mum asks further, helping you fold some of your clothes.

“Not really. I don’t take any money from him, actually. It’s a long story on how it came to this but to keep it short, his daughter — Hyejin is her name — she somehow took a liking to me, and she’s the cutest little girl you’ve ever seen! Wait I'll show you—,“ you quickly take your phone out, showing the photo, Taehyung sent you the day before to your parents. Both of them agree with you, chuckling slightly at the cute pose she makes in that photo.

“Oh, if that isn’t a little princess.“ Your Mum coos, making you nod in agreement.

“Yes, she’s a little gem.“ You smile, cherishing every picture Taehyung ever sent you in the past week, making you miss them even more. “Anyway, he lives together with his best friend, and strange enough, none of them seem to have any girlfriends or friends that are girls, so I think she just enjoys having me around, I don’t know.“

“That sounds just like you.“ Your Mother smiles a little, looking at you.

“What?“

“All of this.“ She says. “Helping those people out without asking for anything in return.“ She says.

“No, that’s not how I see it, Mum.“ You shake your head. “I really enjoy looking after Hyejin — and fair enough even the guys because lord, I don’t know how they survived all these years — and I don’t care at all that I don’t get paid with money because they actually give me way more by letting me be one of them and join their little group of friends.“ Forming all your thoughts and feelings for these people into words is hard enough but explaining it all to your parents without them thinking you're doing it because you have a helper syndrome, is way harder.

“Even if it sounds incredibly cliche, I actually do get paid, just not with money.“ You shrug. “And that’s so cool because they make living in a strange city far away from you guys so much easier.“ You grin.

“Well, dating or not, you look content and happy, and that’s all we want for you.“ Your Mum says, smiling at your bright face. “And everything else will come with time.“ She adds.

While you spend your time packing your bags with the help of your Mum in peace, somebody else, not that far away, is about to go crazy after having spent all night awake.

Hoseok sits at the small kitchen table, a hot cup of coffee in his hands, looking down into the cup and desperately trying to keep calm – while Jimin is about to lose his mind, pacing from one side of the room to the other.

“I don’t know why you just won’t believe me, Hobi. I swear, it was her. It was her!“ He says, nearly tearing his hair out.

With every time he repeats his guess, Hoseok shrinks more and more in his seat. This is a disaster. He knows Jimin won’t just let it slip because he’s waiting to talk to you for almost seven months now, and he might've just found a new drive to do that.

“But it could’ve been someone who merely looked like her. You can’t say for sure that it was her because you said she was standing far away.“ He tries to reason, wanting to shake the possibility out of Jimin’s head.

“No! It was her! I am a hundred percent sure, okay?“ Slowly but surely, Jimin gets a little annoyed by his best friend. It’s not like you’re just anyone who’s easily mistaken. But even if you didn’t have those scars, he’d immediately recognize you amongst millions.

You’re not just anyone. Not to him, you aren't.

“She was looking straight at me, Hobi. I could literally feel her looking at me. That’s when I looked at her too, and I swear at that moment, I could feel the connection between us,“ Jimin desperately tries to explain. “And I warrant you she felt it too.“

Hoseok feels like he’s about to be sick. Not because Jimin’s words are so incredibly cheesy, he has to puke (and they are), but because he feels like a total douchebag, having to lie to his best friend. He feels like he’s betraying him, and he knows Jimin would never forgive him for keeping him from talking to you. But he also promised you something, and as hard as it is right now, he can’t betray you once again.

“Jimin, be a little realistic, will you? It probably wasn’t ___ but some other girl, who you accidentally mistook for her because you miss her.“

He hates himself.

Looking at his best friend’s face crumble doesn’t make it any easier. “I really have no idea why you so desperately try to put this idea of me just seeing some random stranger in my head, but you won’t change my mind. I know that I’ve seen her.“ Jimin once again says, voice just growing very quiet now, that he finally understands that Hoseok won’t support him this time. “If it really wasn’t ___, which it was, why would she have run away from me when I tried to get to her?“ He then asks, expectantly waiting for Hoseok’s answer.

The older boy just shrugs, no longer knowing what to say. “Okay listen, even if it was ___—“ Hoseok stops for a second to think about if what he wants to say is really a good idea but he doesn’t know what else to say anymore so he sticks to the truth and searches for the right words, to say what he has to say. “Even if it was ___… She obviously doesn’t want to talk to you. Otherwise, she wouldn’t have run away, don’t you think?“ He asks, trying to avoid Jimin’s sad eyes to keep his guard up.

“She… She was probably just overwhelmed.“ The younger boy sighs, “Look, the way I see it, she wanted to see me and that’s why she came to the spot, hoping I’d be there but when she actually saw me there, seven months after not seeing or talking to me, she probably panicked.“ He shrugs.

Hoseok can’t believe it. How can someone actually be so delusional?

“I followed her to the parking lot, but I lost her there. I don’t know where she went to, but I called her a million times after that. She obviously didn’t pick up because I’m blocked.“ He then sighs. “So I drove by her parent’s house…“

Hoseok suddenly chokes on his spit. “Are you crazy?!“ He exclaims, looking at Jimin as if he grew two heads. “So you’re stalking her now? What the fuck, bro you have to be absolutely insane. What if her Dad had seen you? I’m sorry to break it to you, but you’re not exactly welcome there anymore.“ He snaps, trying to get some sense into his friend’s head.

“I know.“ Jimin sighs, remembering the time where he was always welcomed at your parent’s house. “Nobody saw me though. Calm down. I only checked to see if she’s there, but I didn’t see anything.“

“Man, that’s not okay.“ Hoseok sighs, shaking his head in disappointment. “Chim, you can’t just drive by her parent’s house and watch it through our car window in hopes of her coming out of the door. You do realize that’s peak creep behavior, don’t you?“ He asks further, starting to judge his friend’s mental state.

Jimin rolls his eyes, clearly annoyed with Hoseok’s constant disagreement regarding his ways of trying to talk to you. He doesn't know firsthand what he's going through for the past months, so he should just hold back a little with his accusations. “I didn’t stalk her, Hobi. I was just… curious.“ He shrugs.

“Oh great, and what if she actually would’ve come out of the house?“ Hoseok asks.

Jimin pauses, thinking about his answer, “I don’t know,“ he sighs, “I seriously do not know. I want to talk to her so bad, but I get that she probably doesn’t feel the same way right now.“

Hoseok nods, thinking Jimin may finally understand the issue. “She just needs time. And if that’s really all there is for you to do now, then… Give her time.“ He suggests.

“Is half a year not enough time though?“ Jimin counters, frowning at the floor.

“It may be for you, but that doesn’t mean it is for her as well.“ Hoseok takes a huge gulp from his coffee, inspecting Jimin’s serious face. “Trying to make her talk to you when she doesn’t want that will only drive her further away, believe me. You know her too.“

Jimin does know you. He knows you close yourself off as soon as you feel pressured and caged, and he doesn’t want that. He just really needs to talk to you as long as he thinks he still has a chance in trying to fix things between you two. Half a year without seeing or hearing from you was hard enough as it is. He feels like he physically can’t wait any longer.

Since he was 16 years old, there has barely been a time where you weren’t right by his side, and even if you weren’t he could always call or text you. Now, he couldn’t reach you even if his life depended on it. You have blocked him on every single platform, and if you haven’t, you simply deleted your profile. He doesn’t have your number, he doesn’t know where you are… Well, he knows you're in Seoul because words spread easily in his group of friends but that doesn’t calm his nerves either. It’s the total opposite actually. It’s been his personal hell for over six months now, and there’s nothing that he can do about it.

He lost the person that means most to him, and it’s all his own fault. And now you’re gone, and he has no idea how he can fix it. He feels so helpless for the past months, and there’s not a single piece of hope in sight.

At least there wasn't until yesterday.

When he saw you at the beach yesterday, at the exact same spot where you always were together, he thought it’d be some kind of sign. You were there, and you looked at him, and he noticed you before you could leave — that just has to mean something, doesn’t it? So he did what anyone would’ve done in his place, which is run after you, and if it wasn’t for these stupid people who blocked his way, he would've caught you.

But he didn’t, and just like that, you’re gone again without any possibility to reach you.

It’s giving him a headache.

“So, what do you think I should do then?“ He asks Hoseok, absolutely wretched at this point.

Hoseok is at a loss for words himself though. He doesn’t know what to say to him because he feels like he’s just making it worse for him, and to be fair, he probably is. There isn’t anything else he can advise him to do though. “Honestly, I have no idea,“ he starts, cringing at the way Jimin’s face falls again. “But if you really care for her and her feelings, you’ll simply have to give her the time she needs. Don’t follow her or try to make out where she is, Chim. That won’t do any good. Let her come to you. And believe me, she will. She’s not the type of person to just leave things unresolved.“

Jimin stays quiet after that. He’s obviously not happy with his friend’s suggestion, though he knows he’s right. And at the end of the day, it’s the only thing he can do anyway.

“How is she doing, is she okay?“ He suddenly asks Hoseok, who once again chokes on his coffee.

“Why do you ask me that?“ He squeaks while coughing.

Jimin smiles a little at his friend’s flustered state. He’s a terrible liar. Always has been. “Well, what kind of impression did she make on you? Is she at least happy?“

Hoseok’s mouth hangs wide open. He can’t believe his own ears. “I—I mean—I don’t…“ He stutters, seeing a grin appear on Jimin’s face.

“You saw her too, hm?“ Jimin’s gaze lies heavy on Hoseok. The older boy can’t even decide where to look, but he tries to avoid Jimin’s eyes, which is really not that easy. “You probably even had the chance to talk to her.“

Hoseok coughs again, trying to find his voice since he seems to have lost it. “How do you know?“ He quietly asks, feeling even worse now that the cat is out of the bag. It’s embarrassing that he was caught red-handed, lying to his best friend’s face. It really isn���t a nice feeling.

Jimin stays surprisingly collected, though. He's only shrugging his shoulders as he finally takes a seat at the other end of the table. “I didn’t, actually. You just told me.“ He confessed, making Hoseok almost faint right then and there. “I had a guess since you started hopelessly trying to make me think I didn’t see her. I’m guessing she asked you not to tell me, right?“ He then asks, his voice getting weaker.

Hoseok sighs loudly as he drives his hand through his hair, trying to regain his composure. “I’m sorry, Jimin, I asked her to speak to you, but she almost begged me to not say anything about her visiting Busan in fear you’d come looking for her. She just isn’t ready yet.“ He confesses. It’s not like he broke his promise to you. He didn’t tell Jimin about your visit; he actually found out on his own, so what could he have done? “Please don’t be mad, man. I didn’t know what to do.“

“It’s okay, I get it.“ Jimin tries to mask a smile, in hopes of making his friend feel better about the situation, but it isn’t a real one and it doesn’t do anything because Hoseok can see right through him.

“If it makes you feel any better, yes, she did look happy, and I think she enjoys living in Seoul for the time being, but she also resembled your face when I talked about you.“ Hoseok tells him. “She clearly misses you too.“ He finishes off, waiting for his reaction.

A sad smile makes itself known on the younger man’s face as he looks at his opponent. “That’s good to hear.“ He says. “I mean, that she looked happy. That’s good to hear, not the part where she’s still hurt because of me.“ He corrects himself, making Hoseok laugh a little.

“I think she copes quite alright. She’s a strong woman after all.“ Hoseok says, trying to lighten the mood.

“But she still doesn’t want to be near me.“ Jimin only says, making him frown.

“Chim, you can’t expect her to just come running back to you after everything. You wouldn’t do that either if the roles were reserved.“ Hoseok states, and with that, he finally stands up and leaves Jimin to his thoughts, only looking back once to see his best friend frowning at the floor once again.

Hey, ___, can we possibly talk?

You look at your phone, frowning at the weird message from an unknown number. You try to go through the possible people who could’ve sent that message but lucky enough, you don’t have to think for long before another text arrives.

Oh sorry, this is Hoseok btw. I asked your Dad for your number yesterday. Hope that’s ok.

You smile when you see that it was actually Hobi who texted you. He’s right, you forgot to give him your new number even after you promised to keep in touch, but fortunately, he was smart enough to ask your Dad for it.

Hey Hobi! Sorry, I’m already on the train back to Seoul :(

You reply, growing a little nervous as you think about why he actually needs to talk to you all of a sudden. You hope it’s nothing serious but thinking back to your almost-encounter with Jimin yesterday at the beach, you guess it must have something to do with him. That actually lets the fact that you’re sitting on the train to Seoul, fill you with nothing but pure relief. Even if it sounds bad.

Hoseok doesn’t text anything else after that, so you decide to not think about it any longer and instead put your phone away to look outside the window, letting your mind wander.

Sitting locked in a stuffy train compartment for hours is not your favorite activity. To get out of the same stuffy train compartment, and be greeted warmly, makes up for all the inconvenience though.

You find Taehyung and Hyejin immediately as soon as you step out of the train because they are pretty hard to miss. A very excited, giggly Hyejin is sitting on Taehyung’s shoulders, who looks like he’s struggling to hold her while she’s happily flying her arms around to get your attention. You can’t hide the huge smile that’s been trying to break through as soon as the train doors opened.

You wave back to her and Taehyung, trying to make your way through all the people standing in your way, so Taehyung doesn’t have to. When you finally reach them, Hyejin almost jumps off of her father’s shoulders and into your arms, making you almost fall over, but Taehyung, having almost Spiderman-like skills, thankfully holds onto your waist, so you can steady your ground.

“You’re finally back!“ Hyejin screams into your chest.

“Of course, I told you I won’t be gone for long.“ You say, holding her even tighter.

“But you were gone for ages!“ She complains, making you laugh in return.

“Hyejin, I was only gone for a week, you little drama queen.“

Taehyung laughs as well while gripping her and setting her back on the ground saying that she’s too heavy for you to carry around for so long, and before you can complain and tell him that that’s not true and you actually missed hugging her, he takes her place and hugs you tightly.

You can feel him burying his face in your hair, as he holds you longer than you’d have expected. If you weren’t so happy to see them, you’d probably blush because of the close, and still a little unfamiliar proximity but instead, you lean your head on his chest and swing your arms around his back to hug him as well. You actually stay like that for a little moment until you’re interrupted by a grunting Hyejin trying to shove her Father away from you.

“You just wanted her for yourself!“ She grunts, frowning because she doesn’t have the strength to get him off of you.

You can literally feel Taehyung chuckle, when his chest vibrates, making you let go of him. “Hey, who said you’re allowed to bully her?“ You ask him, raising a brow.

“Who said she’s the only one who deserves some love, huh?“ Taehyung grins wildly, looking from you to Hyejin both standing in front of him with your arms crossed in front of your chest. “What, are you two ganging up on me now?“ He jokes.

“Looks like it.“ You shrug, “Us girls have to stand together, right Hyejin?“ You look at the little girl, proudly nodding her head, agreeing with you.

“Exactly, Daddy you don’t stand a chance when it’s me and ___ together.“ She says, raising her small fist into the sky.

Taehyung smiles at her, using his typical proud and dreamy Dad-look before he suddenly gets serious, and turns his gaze on you. “Which actually reminds me, that I have a bone to pick with you.“ He frowns.

You look at him with big eyes, not knowing what to expect because you can’t think of anything you did, that might’ve made him mad.

“Thanks to you, my daughter turned into a little brat. Literally, nothing I do is good enough for her anymore.“

You gasp loudly, immediately turning to cover Hyejin’s ears with both of your hands. “Taehyung! Don’t say that in front of her. She’s too precious!“ You scold him, frowning yourself.

“Hey, I’m only being honest, there’s no need to hide the truth, ___. She was a nightmare while you were gone.“ He exclaims, waving his arms around to get his point across.

You raise a brow in question, looking down at the pure little angel, that’s currently trying to get your hands off her ears. “I’m sure it wasn’t that bad. Just look at her,“ You remove your hands and instead, place them on her head to play with her beautiful, dark locks. “She’s the sweetest little princess, there’s no way she gave you a hard time.“

Upon hearing you talk about her, Hyejin offers you the biggest gummy smile, making her appear to be even more wholesome.

Taehyung watches you two in amusement, shaking his head and crossing his arms while he embraces that oh-so-familiar fuzzy feeling he gets every time he watches you and Hyejin interact with each other.

“Interesting. Seems like we know two different Hyejins then.“ He jokes, making Hyejin giggle loudly and stumble further into you, as he tickles her sides. “She asked me dozens of times to call you and beg you to come home.“

“Is that so?“ You look at the little girl, who looks a little ashamed but still nods her head in agreement.

“Daddy made me look like a boy.“ She then says in a small voice. Even if she’s totally serious about her response, you can’t help but laugh wholeheartedly. Taehyung quickly follows, also seeming to find his daughter’s answer to all of this funny.

“Sounds like, I’ll have to tutor someone in basic pretty things, hm?“ You suggest, looking from an unsure Taehyung, to an excited Hyejin.

“Yes! Can you show him how to make my hair like a pretty princess?“ She asks, looking at you with big, glassy eyes.

“Sure thing, Sweety.“ You say, petting her hair.

“So I guess that’s simply set now, and I have no choice but to agree?“ Taehyung asks you, but he already knows the answer. He isn’t surprised at all when you simply wink at him in return.

“Daddy bought something for you!“ Hyejin squeals happily as soon as you all reach Taehyung’s car. Upon hearing what she says, you look to the man standing beside you, who suddenly develops a little more color to his cheeks.

With an expectant smile on your lips, you raise your brows, “Oh, did he?“

Taehyung groans, growling playfully at Hyejin, who just falls into a fit of giggles once again, making you grin as well. “So, where is it?“ You ask, jumping up and down like Hyejin always does.

“It’s nothing special, ___, don’t hype yourself up.“ Taehyung laughs, opening the back door of his car, and grabbing something in the process.“And just so you know, Hyejin picked it out. If you don’t like it, it’s her fault.“

“Okay now, that’s a low blow, you coward .“ You boo trying to see what’s in his hands, but his back is too broad so you can’t see anything. It doesn’t matter when he soon after turns around with a huge, colorful bunch of flowers in his hand.

Seriously, that thing is so huge, you can barely see his head anymore.

“You guys bought me flowers?!“ You exclaim, covering your mouth with one hand while you try grabbing the flowers from Taehyung with the other. As soon as you hold them in your embrace, you can’t help but smell the different set of flowers, giggling happily.

“Do you like it? I hope it’s okay. Hyejin said you’ll love it because purple is your favorite color, but sunflowers are your favorite type of flowers. So we just picked a bunch of purple flowers and put sunflowers around it.“ Taehyung explains, scratching the back of his neck while he nervously inspects your face.

You don’t even know what to say. You’re so touched by that cute little gesture.

“I—I can’t believe you guys bought me flowers. That’s insane!“ You stutter, still not daring to look away from the beautiful piece of art you're holding in your hands. Yes, hands. Plural because it’s very heavy. It looks like they bought a whole flower shop to put into this arrangement.

Only for you.

“Dammit you don’t like it.“ Taehyung sighs, looking at Hyejin with a frown. “See? I told you purple and yellow are ugly together, and now she looks like she’s about to cry. You seriously have no taste. How could I trust someone that wears neon yellow boots? You didn’t get that from me that much is clear.“

Hyejin doesn't seem to be very affected by her father's words though. “You wear trousers that look like Pyjama pants.“ Hyejin says in the driest tone, you’ve ever heard anyone say something. And if you weren’t about to cry, you’d probably have to laugh because of their ridiculous little banter.

God, you missed them.

When you finally find your voice and can think clearly again, you immediately fall back into Taehyung’s arms, giving him the biggest hug you can muster. All while trying to be as careful as you can so won’t crush your gift in the process.

“I love it, thank you.“ You try to say, but it comes out muffled because your face is firmly pressed against his chest.

The force of your hug makes Taehyung stumble back against his car but he doesn’t waste a single second before he returns the gesture and embraces his arms tightly around you with a big smile on his face.

“Your welcome,“ he says, “I knew you’d like it. I mean, I was just standing there, looking around, and then I looked at Hyejin and said: Oh my, Hyejin, these purple flowers remind me so much of ___ we just have to buy them for her, and they would fit perfectly with these absolutely beautiful bright yellow-orangey sunflowers because they’re her favorite.“

You laugh about his obvious lie while Hyejin loudly protests beside you.

“No, seriously, I know how pricey these things can get and this one is just—Wow. That wasn’t necessary, but I certainly appreciate it. That’s the nicest thing anyone has done for me in forever.“ You let him go so you can look at him, while his arms stay placed around you. You both don’t realize it at first though.

“It’s not that big of a deal, ___. That’s what people do when they pick a lady up from a train station, isn’t it?“

“Depends.“ You laugh a little.

Taehyung lifts a brow, looking at you. “On what?“

“Depends on what age you live in because if it’s 1920, then yeah sure, that’s what they do,“ You joke, laughing at your own stupid attempt of a joke.

“Hey, chivalry isn’t dead yet!“ Taehyung looks offended for a second, but you know it’s all just an act. “I’m a little old-fashioned when it comes to stuff like that.“

“Stuff like what?“ You tease, smirking up at him, surprising not only yourself but Taehyung as well. If he wouldn’t know any better, he’d say you’re flirting with him. But he knows the thought alone is stupid, and it probably just came out wrong.

“In a lot of things, actually.“ He grins back. “My nanny raised me to be a top-tier gentleman, just so you know.“

“Your nanny?“ You ask, interested in that little piece of information about his past.

Taehyung hasn't said much about his family since you first met him, so hearing that he was presumably raised by a nanny raises some questions inside of you.

“Yep. Her name was Sun, and she was a very well-mannered old lady with a deep lingering love for knitted socks and herbal tea,“ he says, “I learned almost everything I know from her.“

“Hmm, sounds like an international good-boy to me.“ You tease again. The expression on your face remains serious as you tilt your head a little and examine him.

Taehyung smirks, “It's funny you say that because that’s actually what she used to call me back in the days.“ He says in a low voice, winking at you.

The atmosphere around you shifted a while ago, but it’s just now that you really notice it. He still has his arms wrapped around you and is holding you tight. Very tight, actually.

Neither you nor Taehyung knows exactly what is going on and even Hyejin — who no one seemed to have noticed for a good while now, looks curious, inspecting you two.

The very heavy bouquet of flowers in your hand suddenly reminds you where you are and why. Suddenly feeling the weird air around you, you awkwardly shake Taehyung's arms off you as you try to shift the weight of the bouquet to the other arm.

“Purple and Yellow together look very pretty by the way,“ You then say, clearing your throat, “anyway I think you picked the most beautiful bouquet, I’ve ever seen, Hyejin.“

You offer the girl a big smile, and she instantly smiles back at you, blushing a little at your compliment.

“Oh, we also added a little green stuff because Yoongi said it has to be that way.“ Taehyung’s voice appears again. He tries not to let it show, but notices exactly how you suddenly distance yourself from him. Both physically and your gaze can only be found for a brief second, if at all.

“Yoongi made this?“ You ask amazed, looking at the flowers.

“Of course, do you think we'd buy flowers anywhere else?“ The playful scoff in Taehyung’s voice but especially the meaning behind his words, make you finally look at him again for more than a second as you try to overcome the embarrassment of what happened earlier.

“Yeah, he made it all pretty and big.“ Hyejin chimes in again, blushing furiously at the mention of her little crush.

You and Taehyung both grin to yourself because of her cuteness.

“Wow. If you shower me with such a warm welcome, after I've been away for just a week, maybe I should stay away from you guys more often and longer to see what happens.“ You joke, acting as if you’re serious about it.

You can't hold your serious facade, however, after your two opponents suddenly turn pale and loudly scream, "No!" in sync.

Even if you just wanted to take a shower and plainly rest after the long train journey, Taehyung insisted that you go home with them to ‘celebrate’. You really don’t feel like celebrating because you’re tired, and the little situation you had there with your ex-boyfriend, upsets your stomach. But the two tried so hard to surprise you while they were just supposed to pick you up, so you can’t bear to say no to them. You've also missed them the last few days so much that a few extra hours with them can't hurt either. So you agree, and before you know it, you’re standing at the door to their apartment.

The first thing you notice while entering is the strong smell of something burned surrounding the place, and the next is that all the lights are out and the shutters are down, so you can’t see anything.

“Why is it so dark in here?“ You look around, trying to see something, but it’s impossible in the darkness.

“I don’t know, but it wouldn’t surprise me if Jungkook has something to do with it.“ You hear Taehyung mutter somewhere beside you.

Hyejin has her little arms wrapped securely around his neck while he carries her on his back after she fell tired on the car ride home and was simply too lazy to walk to the apartment. She as well tries to see something but isn't able to. Before Taehyung can reach for the light switch, so you can see something, the door falls shut behind him, and you're abruptly surrounded by pure darkness.

“Ugh dammit, Hyejin, I left the door open on purpose so we can see at least a little bit.“ He grunts at the little girl on his back.

“I didn’t do anything, I swear!“ She exclaims.

You don’t like the darkness because it makes you easily nervous. That's why you try to unobtrusively approach Taehyung a bit to feel a little more comfortable while he’s looking for the light switch. But before you can reach him, you can suddenly feel someone approaching you from behind, and the next thing you know, you’re screaming while someone holds you in a tight embrace.

Panicking slightly after hearing you scream, Taehyung quickly reaches around the wall until he’s finally able to switch the light on. The first thing he witnesses is you fighting against someone who’s apparently trying to…

His eyes haven't got used to the light so quickly, so he can't really see, but Taehyung doesn’t care about that. As soon as he sees you struggling, he quickly sets Hyejin down, runs up to you, and throws — if he might say — a pretty amazing punch into the person’s face.

“What do you think you’re doing, huh? Little fucking creep.“

You try to calm a scared Hyejin down, who’s tightly pressed against your legs as you watch in awe how Taehyung beats that guy up.

The guy, already rolled up on the floor, tries to fend off the blows to his face, but Taehyung looks like he’s in a rage.

It goes on like that for a few minutes, until Namjoon walks in. He carries some bottles in his hands and stares in absolute shock at the scene that’s unfolding right in front of him.

“Taehyung, what the hell are you doing?!“ He abruptly yells.

“Quick Joon, call the police! I caught a molester!“ Taehyung only returns while he holds the guy beneath him down with his knee and secures his hands at the same time.

You’re impressed by his skills, to say the least, because if one sees him on the streets, they probably wouldn’t think of him as a fighter. He does have muscles, and he has that special face with the eyes that scream “fuck off“ as soon as he looks at someone he doesn’t know, but he still doesn’t look like he’d be able to turn full-on police officer on somebody.

Namjoon on the other hand doesn’t look even half as impressed as you do. Instead, he puts the bottles on a nearby table and darts forward, “Taehyung, that’s Jungkook!“ He rails, trying to get Taehyung to stand up.

You think you misheard, and Taehyung doesn’t look any less surprised as he stumbles away from the guy, who indeed looks a lot like Jungkook…

… Oh.

When he finally recognizes his best friend, Taehyung’s face changes from mad to surprised to absolutely furious in only a second.

“Jungkook, what the actual fuck?!“ He screams, for the first time not caring how Hyejin can hear every single word that’s coming out of his mouth.

The younger guy finally tries to get up, which turns out to be not that easy after all the blows he has received in the last few minutes, but he manages with Namjoon’s help.

“Yeah, what the fuck. I could ask you that!“ He then yells back, looking equally as annoyed. “You probably punched a few teeth out of my mouth, you fucking asshole!“ It’s just then that you see, he’s actually bleeding.

“I sure hope I did, you stupid idiot. What in god’s name were you thinking?!“ You don’t think you’ve ever seen Taehyung this mad. Not even at the time, he was angry with Jungkook for losing Hyejin.

“I was trying to surprise ___!“ Jungkook tries to defend himself, finally turning his head in your direction as he points at you, giving you the chance to see his face clearly for the first time.

“What, by trying to abduct her? Are you mentally not quite there?“

“I just wanted to hug her!“

“You probably gave her a heart attack, you stupid idiot!“

“It had a different outcome in my head, okay?!“

“How else was this supposed to turn out, huh?“

Getting tired of their useless argument and kinda worried about Jungkook’s bleeding lip, you decide to interrupt their little banter. So you step forward to Jungkook and inspect his face, making a grimace in the process because it really looks like it hurts.

“I should clean that. Get on the couch.“ You order, ignoring all the questions hanging in the air and especially Taehyung’s confused face when he sees you acting not at all mad for some reason he can't think of. Taehyung can’t understand.

“No, it doesn’t hurt. It’s okay.“

You don’t listen to Jungkook’s pleads to not clean his wound and instead guide him to the couch where you instruct him once again to sit down until he finally obeys.

The others follow you, but Namjoon takes Hyejin to the kitchen to give her something to drink because she complained about being thirsty. She really didn't care about anything else anymore after she found out that the bad guy, was solely her uncle Jungkook.

“Can’t believe how stupid you are,“ you hear Taehyung still complain as he seats himself on the other couch, so he doesn’t disturb you while you work on Jungkook’s lip. “You definitely scarred her for life. And Hyejin too, they both have traumas now.“

You keep your gaze on Jungkook but can’t help suppressing a grin. “Well, not to spoil anything, but that kinda happened already anyway, so…“

The sheer look of panic on Taehyung’s face is enough to make you fall into a fit of laughter. And Jungkook joins in soon after which, however, results in him hissing at the pain in his lip.

“I’m sorry ___, I didn’t want to… I mean, I wasn’t trying to… I didn’t mean that.“ Taehyung looks like he just wished someone a happy birthday on the wrong day, and you kinda feel bad for making him feel that way, but it's also very cute how little it took to make him react that way.

“Jesus, calm down, Taehyung. I was only joking to lighten the mood a little. You two have been acting like Tom and Jerry since the moment we walked through the door—“

“—and were attacked by that brainless imbecile.“ Taehyung finishes your sentence for you making you frown at him.

“Seriously, you don’t have to remind us about my failure for the next twenty years, Taehyung.“ Jungkook says with a muffled voice because you're currently trying to stop the bleeding.

“Wha—It literally happened ten minutes ago. Are you kidding me?!“ He helplessly looks to you, probably hoping you’d be on his side, but you only laugh and shake your head at their childish banter.

“___, is uncle Jungkook going to die?“ Hyejin asks as soon as she comes out of the kitchen to see what you’re doing, curiously inspecting Jungkook’s lip.

You smile at her and shake your head in a denying manner to answer her question.

“Not yet, at least… Let’s see what great ideas he has next week.“ You hear Taehyung mutter under his breath, but just like everyone else, you choose to ignore it.

“Speaking of great ideas, Why does the apartment smell like you set something on fire?“

At Taehyung’s question, Jungkook once again winces and shrinks in his seat as he chuckles awkwardly. “Yeah… That. Right.“

Before he can answer, Namjoon comes out of the kitchen, carrying something in his hands, but you can’t really make out what it is. “We tried to bake you some muffins.“ Namjoon resembles the look on Jungkook’s face while he looks at the smoking, black piles on the tray in his hands.

“In my defense, I just want to say that Joon was in charge of the oven while I planned the rest of the welcome,“

“You mean the kidnapping?“ This time Taehyung doesn’t look as mad anymore but grins when you all look at him in annoyance.

“I swear it wasn’t my fault. I don’t know how it happened.“ Namjoon mumbles quietly to himself.

“—I was saying,“ Jungkook glares at his friend for a second to warn him not to interrupt him again. He then sets his eyes on you again, “I’m so very sorry, everything turned out to be so bad, ___. I really just wanted to throw you a nice little get-together.“

His big, dark eyes stare right into your soul, and as you look up and see Namjoon still frowning at what was supposed to be your welcome home muffins, Taehyung also looking at you apologetically, and Hyejin not caring about anything while she already cuddled up next to you, you realize that you don't want to be anywhere else right now. This is the place where you belong now, and these are the people you want to spend your time with.

You feel welcomed and missed and appreciated, and this is exactly what you have been looking for for a long time now. You just weren’t so aware of it until now.

This is your life now, and this is your home. These are the people you want in your life and the people you don’t have the urge to flee from as soon as it gets a little awkward. This feeling you have right now overshadows everything negative you felt during your short trip to Busan, and that’s what you must cherish and think of now.

Thinking about Busan, the people and the life you left behind there and especially the business you left unfinished still leaves a bitter taste on your tongue. And it won’t go away, you know that. Not so soon and not until you face it, but it doesn’t have to be now.

Right now, you want to spend some time with the new friends in your life that actually give you the comfort you’re so desperately looking for right now.

A few hours after you gave everyone a bone-crushing hug, trying to hold back all the tears of gratitude that dared to get out, you find yourself chilling on the couch. Jungkook still sits next to you, Taehyung is on the other couch, and Namjoon is just chilling on the floor while you all eat from the Pizzas you ordered and changed your drinks from juices to alcohol as soon as Hyejin went to sleep.

You’re not that drunk yet, at least not as drunk as Jungkook, but you do feel the alcohol kicking in already.

“What do you mean you don’t usually drink alcohol?“ Jungkook gasped, looking at you with a funny look on his face.

“Well, I just don’t.“ You shrug. “I’m a control freak. I like to be in control, okay? Being drunk takes that away from me, and I don’t like that. I actually detest that feeling.“ You cringe, ironically taking another sip off your wine.

You hate wine.

“Rich people beer“ is what Jimin used to call it.

Fucking Jimin.

And there goes another gulp.

“Woah, take it easy then. We don’t want you dancing on the tables.“ Taehyung chuckles. He leans forward and carefully takes the empty glass out of your hand.

“Speak for yourself. I’m up for some dancing.“ Jungkook inserts, making you laugh way more than you usually would at his bad attempt of flirting.

Okay, maybe you are a little bit drunk.

Taehyung just rolls his eyes and instead goes to the kitchen, only to come back with two glasses of water. He puts one in front of you and the other in front of Jungkook. “Here, sober up a little, you two.“

You look at him, kinda annoyed at him for babying you, but you don’t have to say anything because Jungkook already takes that part into his own manners.

“You don’t have to go all Daddy on us, Tae. ___ might be into that, but I’m not.“

You can instantly feel yourself getting hotter by his snarky little remark. And you’re more than happy the guys probably won’t be able to tell because your cheeks are already red from the wine. But you can still see Taehyung looking at you, even if he doesn’t say anything to that. You don’t know why Jungkook’s comment makes you react like this anyway because you’re usually pretty immune against them.

It must just be the alcohol this time. See, this is why you don’t get drunk. It’s awful.

“So what was Busan like? Did you meet with any of your friends, or did you just go to help your parents?“ Namjoon swiftly asks. You’re happy someone finally changes the topic, even if it makes you think of things you’d much rather not think about right now.

“I only went to help my parents.“ You quickly answer, looking at anything but him.

“But you surely didn’t spend all your days cooped away in your parent's house, did you?“ He chuckles.

“No, I did leave the house once in a while, mind you.“ You say, glaring at him jokingly, making him chuckle.

“It’s just a little complicated back home right now.“

“Is that why you came back so soon?“ Jungkook quickly interrupts the two of you. “I mean, you were gone long enough for our liking, but we expected for you to be gone a little longer.“ He asks, looking at you expectantly.

You feel yourself growing nervous again, which makes you automatically wipe your sweaty hands on your jeans which is a habit of yours. “Yes, I guess that’s it.“ You clear your throat before taking a big gulp from your water.

You are so busy not showing how uncomfortable the topic is to you, that you don't even notice that Taehyung has already seen through your awkwardness.

“It got a little… overwhelming for me, so I decided to leave earlier.“ You shrug, finally looking up. Your eyes immediately meet Taehyung’s as he looks at you, seeming to be a little concerned.

“Wanna talk about it?“ Namjoon asks further, sensing your discomfort as well.

“Yeah, I mean, I know we’re kind of chaotic sometimes, but we are good listeners.“ Jungkook chimes in.

You smile at them, feeling better in an instant. They really seem to care about your well-being, and that’s something you need to cherish. So you decide to play with open cards. At the end of the day, they’re guys — maybe they have some advice for you.

“Ugh, it’s a long story, really. How much time do you have?“

“We have the whole night if we need it.“ Taehyung answers immediately.

You offer him a grateful smile, leaning a little forward and reach for the wine bottle. “In that case, I need more alcohol.“ After you poured everyone another glass, you take a big sip of your wine and lean back again.

“So, I guess I should start at the beginning, which would be why I moved here in the first place,“ you take a look around and play with the hem of your shirt.

“The last time I asked, you said it was because of your ex-boyfriend, and I thought it had to do with a breakup or something.“ Jungkook says, looking at you sheepishly.

You nod and confirm his suspicion. “Right, that’s what I said, and you’re not wrong, but there’s obviously more to that story.“ As you take a look around, you look in questioning but curious faces.

“Wasn't a good breakup was it?“ Namjoon questions, watching your expression.

“When are they ever good?“ You chuckle. “But yes, it was very messy, and… well, it didn’t go very smoothly.“

“Ugh, he cheated, didn’t he?!“ Jungkook abruptly yells, rising up from his seat in rage, “I knew it! What a douchebag.“

“Shhh, let her talk. Stop interrupting her all the time.“ Taehyung shushes the guys, frowning slightly. “She isn’t telling us a bedtime story. It’s her life. Be a little respectful and shut the fuck up. Keep your assumptions to yourselves.“

Jungkook gasps dramatically at his best friend’s sudden outburst but keeps quiet anyway and waits for you to continue.

“Okay, uhmm… I don’t think what he did is called cheating, no.“ You say, thinking about it yourself for a second, your drunken mind making you a little confused. It looks like you're not the only confused one left because all of them look at you with puzzled looks on their faces.

“Wait, what? How do you not know if it’s cheating?“ Namjoon asks loudly before he quickly gazes and offers an apologetic smile at Taehyung, who’s glaring again.

“It’s not cheating. I’m sure. He didn’t cheat on me, but it’s complicated.“ You sigh, already regretting your choice of telling them about your story because it’s already giving you a headache so soon.

“First, you need to know that what we had, was very special, okay?“ You state. “We were together for almost ten years. He was my first real boyfriend, and I was his first real girlfriend. I know it’s crazy because who the fuck stays together for so long with their first-ever boy- or girlfriend, right?“ You watch as the guys simply nod their heads in unison.

“And ten years that’s just— it’s incredible even for me.“ You sigh. “That’s such a long time for a twenty-six-year-old. At some point, you just share a life together, and you don’t think about losing the other person because losing them would mean losing the person you just spend a whole decade of your life with.“ You take another gulp of your wine to stop your rambling for a second. “It’s very hard, you know? So even if you come across some difficulties, and you do because that’s just inevitable, you somehow try to make it work. No matter how hard it may be.“

“Are you sure you want to continue?“ Taehyung carefully asks you after a while of silence in which you only stare into your glass, letting all the emotions bubble up at that moment.

You look up, confused about his question before you take a shaky breath and realize that the wine seems to make you more emotional than you originally feared. You definitely wouldn’t be as emotional if you were sober right now, but being the iceberg you usually are, isn’t as easy in a drunken state. At least you’re not crying though, and you don’t plan on it. You won’t let it get that far tonight.

“Yes, sorry. Just got a little lost inside my head there.“ You awkwardly chuckle.

“It’s okay, ___. Take your time.“ He then declares, building up your confidence. You’re very grateful for his kind words and all of the guy’s patience.

You struggle to find the right words because you never actually talked about it with anyone, and now you're sharing all your deepest thoughts with three handsome guys.

Well, no. That's not exactly the truth either.

You did tell Yoongi about it one night when you felt especially sad. He seemed to notice you were on the brim of tears, insisting on you telling him what's wrong. So you did.

But Yoongi is very easy to talk to. He usually appears to be very intimidating, but as soon as he sees something's wrong, he can be the greatest listener you'll ever meet. He's calm and collected, never talks much, but always says the right thing in every situation.

These guys, however, are the exact opposite. And you fear what they might think of you after you finish your story tonight.

Will they judge you?

Will they understand?

Will they side with him?

Are you overreacting? You probably are.

You try to push all your fears and second-guessing to the back of your head. They won’t judge you, you’re sure about that.

So you clear your throat and continue. “Okay, so we had that one place at the beach where we always used to hang out with friends and stuff. Jimin and I had a particularly large group of friends, and they usually used to invite other friends, and those friends took their friends along and yada yada yada, you get what I mean—“

You cut yourself off when you suddenly see Jungkook raising his hand, like a schoolboy, patiently waiting for you to pick him to ask his question.

“Is Jimin your ex-boyfriend’s name?“ He asks after you called his name like a teacher, making yourself laugh at your lame thoughts.

“Yes, that’s his name, sorry.“

Jungkook proudly grins, looking at Taehyung and Namjoon. “Knew it.“ He states.

“Awesome, genius.“ Taehyung sarcastically gives him a thumbs up resulting in Jungkook simply flipping him off.

“Anyway, I didn’t really know all of them. They were mostly his friends. I’m not that social, but he enjoyed being around people, and he always asked me to come along, so I usually ended up going as well.“

“That sounds exhausting.“ Jungkook groans.

“It was.“ You agree. “The day we broke up, there was supposed to be a party going on at that place. Just a little get-together with a bunch of people and alcohol, the usual. There were some people there from his dancing class, and Jimin was acting weird, but he wouldn’t tell me what was up. We usually talked about stuff like that, but I guessed it was just something that had to do with work, and he didn’t want to talk about it at that time, so I let it slide. Later that night, I saw him talking to his friends from his dancing team and he seemed fine and like he was enjoying himself, which just further proved my assumption but then when he came back to join me and some of our shared friends, he was once again acting differently.“

You take another sip from your wine and play with the rim of the glass while you think about your next words.

“He said he needed to talk to me, and you know that’s usually never a good sign, is it?“ A humorless laugh escapes your lips. “We went to a more secluded place, and then he told me how he caught feelings for someone else.“

You finish your sentence with a sad smile, but you keep your gaze down. You don’t dare to look anyone in the eyes because you can’t bear to see their pitiful faces. Instead, you try to swallow your emotions and keep a tough composure.

“She was a part of his dancing team, he told me. At that time he had known her for two months and for some reason he “felt drawn to her“. Then he said the usual stuff, that he doesn’t know what to do because he still loves me but he also can’t stop thinking about her and— ugh. Just thinking about it makes me want to throw up.“

As you anxiously wait for one of them to say something, you dare to look into their faces to see their reactions, and to your surprise, you don’t even see a hint of pity in them. Instead, they all look kinda pissed.

“You can’t be serious!“ Jungkook is the first to break the silence. “He had you and left you for someone he only knew for two fucking months?!“

“Well, to be fair, he didn’t leave me. I was the one who broke with him after.“

“As you should! He’s an idiot if he lets some irrelevant other girl get between you two. I mean ten years? You don’t just risk a relationship like that for a stupid fling. What on earth was he thinking?“ Namjoon agrees, making Jungkook frantically nod his head.

You stay silent during their rage because you don’t know what to say. Do you agree with them? Not really, no. You don’t think you’re that great of a catch, really. You will never understand what a guy like Jimin would want from a girl like you.

You are pretty, yes. At least you were pretty at the start of your relationship. Before the accident happened and you turned into Frankenstein’s monster. There was really no reason for him to stay with you for that many more years after that. It’s not just your face that changed after the dog attacked and disfigured your face — It was your whole demeanor. You grew even more secluded. Never wanted to go out anymore, never wanted to show your face. You never even let anybody take a photo of you anymore. You grew anxious in front of people because you felt like every laughter was directed at you, and everyone was making fun of your looks. You grew anxious in front of dogs — no matter how small because you thought they were about to attack you.

You just became a whole different person.

And that must have been hard for Jimin too because he was the one by your side. He was the one visiting you and holding your hand throughout the month-long hospital stay and all those painful surgeries. He was the one who tried to get you to go out again. He was the one who held your hand whenever he felt you getting nervous in public. He was the one who held you close and told you it’d be okay when you felt like crying because you thought someone was making fun of you — even if they weren’t. He was the one who stood up for you and put everyone in their place whenever they did. And he was always the one who shielded you from any kind of dog, no matter how small.

“I’m sure he had his reasons.“ That's all you say after you brush your thoughts away.

“I don’t care about his reasons, he sounds like a dick.“ Jungkook snaps, balling his hands into fists and taking an aggressive, huge sip from his beer.

Not gonna lie, you appreciate them being on your side, and it sadly pushes your ego. But you also know that it’s not right to shit-talk Jimin with your friends, who don’t even know him and who know nothing about your relationship, while the person of interest isn’t even here and can’t speak up for himself.

That’s just not what he deserves. No matter how much he actually hurt you.

“No, Kook. He really isn’t,“ you smile sadly at the youngest, wiping a tear from the corner of your eyes. Dammit, you swore to yourself that you weren’t going to cry. “That’s kind of the problem here.“ You scoff.

“It’d be so much easier if he was the biggest asshole there is. If he just cheated and I found out on accident or something. It’d be so much easier to hate him if that was the case, but no. Instead, he simply… Fell for someone else and told me before he acted out on it because he felt bad and wanted me to know. There’s nothing he could’ve done to prevent this from happening. At the end of the day, we can’t control our feelings.“ You shrug, looking down to hide another tear that’s trying to escape.

“I really can’t hold a grudge against him for that.“

Once again, the room falls silent around you for a brisk of a moment before Taehyung’s deep and soothing voice can be heard.

“You handle the situation very mature, ___. If it was me in your shoes right now, I couldn’t be as understanding. Especially if my heart was as broken as yours.“

You stare into his dark eyes, which are mustering you with every second that passes. You want to simply thank him and leave it at that, but you can’t look him in the eyes and let him think of you as someone you aren’t in the slightest.

“I’m not.“ You sigh. “I said some really nasty things to him that night. Things I really shouldn’t have said. Things that really broke him, I could see that in his eyes and it was so uncalled for. I feel disgusted with myself just thinking about it.“

“Whatever it was, I’m sure it was a heat of the moment thing. You’re human, ___. And that was a harsh hit in your face. It’s only normal for someone to lose their temper in those kinds of situations.“ Taehyung argues.

“No, you don’t understand.“ You groan, massaging your temples. “I said, and I quote, “It’s your single fault that I look like a train wreck, and now you’re just looking for a pretty girl so you can finally look her in the face while you fuck her without feeling guilty.“

You simply die in shame all over again after you finished your sentence, covering your face in embarrassment.

“I truly don’t know what came over me. I regretted it the second those disgusting words left my lips.“ You say, cringing slightly.

To your surprise, Namjoon only shrugs. “Serves him right.“

And you thought he was the mature one out of the three…

“No, I shouldn’t have said that. I had no right. He isn't like that. He was always there for me all these years and all these months I was in the hospital. That wasn’t fair.“

“If you don’t mind me asking,“ Jungkook says, next to you, “how exactly did it happen?“

You, of course, immediately know what he means, and you’re annoyed by yourself for not starting at the very beginning of the story.

“It was a dog. A German Shepherd to be exact.“ You say, seeing Taehyung wince at your words. The others just look at you in our shock.

“Jimin and I wanted to be “reckless“ and broke in on someone’s property.“ You scoff at the stupidity the two of you had in you that night. “Well, that obviously backfired.“ You laugh humorless.

“Fuck. Ouch.“ Jungkook gaspes.

“Yeah. Ouch.“ You grin at him. “It wasn’t very pleasurable, let me tell you.“

“And it was his idea?“ Taehyung then questions, looking at you curiously.

You nod your head. “Yes, I wasn’t stupid enough to come up with something like that myself.“ You joke.

Taehyung nods, seeming to be in thought for a moment. “Then it kinda is his fault, isn’t it?“ He then says.

You quickly shake your head. “No, it isn’t. He might’ve been the one who had the idea, but I was stupid enough to follow him, and I wasn’t athletic enough to climb over the fence before that huge beast could feast on my face.“

“But if he wouldn’t have suggested it—“

“Tae, come on.“ You plead. “He’s not a bad guy, okay? This might sound very dumb now, but I don’t want you guys to think of him as that mean ex-boyfriend who broke my heart by finding someone else and to who I own these scars.“ You declare.

“Because that’s not who Jimin is. He’s kind and loving, and there’s literally not a single bad bone inside of that guy. He always puts others first, and he would never say anything bad about me either, even if I said what I said to him. I just know he wouldn’t. And so I don’t want you to shit-talk him either because he simply doesn’t deserve that.“

Taehyung, who seemed like he really wanted to say something just a minute ago, is suddenly very quiet. His gaze is fixed on something on the floor while Namjoon just stares at you, and before you can ask them what’s wrong, Jungkook gets ahead of you.

“Well fuck.“ He mutters, making your head snap to him in an instant. “You still love him.“ He states all of a sudden, making you halt.

When you take a quick look around, you can see that that’s exactly what the other guys think as well.

No reason to hide it then.

“Got me.“ You raise your hands in front of your chest. “That’s the reason I left early.“ You say in a quiet voice. “I saw him, and unfortunately, he saw me too. I made a run for it before he could reach me, but I was afraid he’d come to my parent’s house to talk to me or something. So I did the only thing I could think of — I came home.“ You explain.

“But why? You could’ve talked it out with him.“ Namjoon asks you.

“Because I’m just not ready for that, I guess.“ You shrug. “Look, I still love him, okay? I just know that talking to him or just standing in front of him, would be absolutely devastating for me. I would want him back, but I don’t want him back, you know what I mean?“ You ain't surprised to see him shake his head in confusion.

“I don’t hate him for what he did.“ You clarify again. “It was out of his reach to control his feelings, but I also somehow feel like… I don’t know like I deserve better than someone who falls for someone else? I don’t know if that makes sense.“

“It does.“ Taehyung agrees. “And you do deserve better than that.“

You offer him a grateful smile which earns you one back from him. He really seems to understand you, and you’re very grateful for that. It may be because he also went through a nasty breakup with his ex-wife, but maybe he also just really gets you. No matter the reason, it’s a comforting feeling.

“Yeah. I deserve someone who loves me and only me. And he deserves someone who doesn’t look worse than Thanos in Infinity War.“ You joke, trying to lighten up the sour mood.

“Don’t be so hard on yourself, ___.“ Jungkook gasps. “At least you’re not bald.“

It takes a few seconds of simply staring at him in shock before you burst out into laughter, quickly followed by him and the other guys. It might just be the alcohol, but at least he finally got a good laugh out of you after you went through so many negative emotions tonight. Jungkook is very pleased with himself.

“I can’t believe you. You’re such an ass.“ You laugh, wiping another tear from your eye, but this time this one is very welcomed.

“I made you laugh, so I reached my goal.“ He solely shrugs.

“But you really shouldn’t say that about yourself, ___. You’re very beautiful, inside and out. Even if saying that makes me look like a sappy wimp, it’s true.“ Namjoon says, smiling brightly.

You admire his dimples, but you don’t believe his words. These are very handsome men who normally spend their time with very beautiful girls, you’re sure. They know you don’t count as one.

“I know you mean well, Joon, but I’m not, and you don’t have to lie to make me feel better about myself.“

“He’s right, though.“ Taehyung says, raising a brow. “If you don’t believe him, you can believe me. I work with models. I should know, shouldn’t I?“

“So what are you saying? I am by no means comparable to any of the people you work with. I’m sorry, Tae, but if you think I’ll believe that, you’re ridiculous.“ You scoff, getting annoyed by him all of a sudden.

You don’t mean to snap at him, and you know they all just mean well and don’t intend on hurting your feelings, but them trying to make you believe in something that’s so obviously not true, makes you feel like they’re making fun of you.

Taehyung looks taken aback by your harsh words, and seeing his face makes you feel even worse about it.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to sound so harsh guys.“ You sigh, massaging your temple again. “It’s just that, I know who I am. And I know what I look like. The truth is, I had a pretty nasty accident eight years ago that left me with multiple scars on my face, which, let’s be honest here, don’t really flatter my face at all. I’m no beauty, and that’s okay. I’ve been through many tough years trying to accept the way I look now, and somehow I made it. I’m okay with myself. I know what I look like, and I know what other people think of it, and I learned not to care about that. But I count you guys as my friends, and when you try to convince me of something that I know I am not, then that’s not nice, okay? It makes me feel like you’re making fun of me.“

You aren’t sure if they understand your issue with them trying to be nice and respectful, and you wouldn’t blame them if they don’t. For people who can’t emphasize with how you feel, simply because they clearly never had the same problems, you must sound like an ungrateful bitch. You can’t change the way you feel though.

“So what, do you expect me to call you ugly when I don’t at all think that you are?“ Taehyung asks, seeming kinda irritated with you now as well.

You groan, rolling your eyes. “No. I obviously don’t want to be called ugly.“

“So what do you want then?“

“I don’t want to be lied to by my friends.“

“I’m not lying though. And I’m pretty sure neither Namjoon nor Jungkook are, when they say that they find you pretty or even beautiful. Not everyone is into perfection, ___.“

“Okay, maybe we should talk about that some other time when we’re a little less drunk. What do you think about that?“ Namjoon interrupts your little banter before it can turn into a little more than that.

Taehyung and you are still glaring at each other though, and it doesn’t look like he’s very fond of Namjoon’s idea. He instead wants to talk further about it.

You, on the other hand, have to admit you’re happy he cut in on your argument because you’re definitely not looking for a fight. Especially about a topic like that, and not when you’re drunk and can’t think properly. Right now, you regret every word that comes out of your mouth, and you just want to change the topic and talk about something else. Maybe something lighter for a change.

“You’re right. I’m not in the right mind state to argue right now.“ You sigh. “I’m sorry, I didn’t want to accuse you of anything, Tae. I know you only mean well.“

There’s a special glint in your eyes, that tells Taehyung this isn’t the first time you had that argument with someone. And it seemingly isn't the right time to talk to you about it. This observation and the fact that you apologized, even if you didn’t have to, make something inside of him soften instantly. He usually isn’t one to give up so easily, but he thinks that this time, it might just be the right decision. He doesn’t want to start a fight with you either.

So instead of staying true to his earlier words and trying to get his point across, he simply offers you an honest smile and nods his head in agreement.

For the rest of the night, you simply sit together, drink, take an occasional bite out of the now cold pizzas, and laugh about some of the stories the guys share with you about their own past relationships now.

Turns out they as well had some pretty interesting breakups and situations with past girlfriends and or lovers. It doesn't surprise you, but it still makes you laugh nonetheless.

At some point, you find yourself leaning against a barely awake Jungkook, and after you blinked for a mere second, you feel someone carrying you somewhere.

You can’t make out who is carrying you and where because you need to rest your eyes for another second. The next time you open your eyes again, you suddenly aren’t being carried anymore. Instead, you’re lying somewhere. But your eyes are way too heavy, and your head is way too tired to think about anything. So you choose to take a quick rest before you're going to worry about anything else.

tag list | @nandananda

Copyright © 2021 jananakookie please do not repost, and thank you for reading :)

[tarosin]

the great adventures of y/n tubbo jack niki and wilbur - racing across the sea

requested: yes/no

part 8 of the great adventures series

warning: cursing, anxiety about the sea

ever since the argument you and tubbo had become inseparable, he practically lived with you and your parents at this point, and your community was loving it. everytime one of you would stream, tens of thousands of people would tune into your stream to see what madness was going on and today was no different. the pair of you decided to stream a laugh and the stream ends challenge. safe to say you ended up changing the rules several times, you even made ranboo join the stream so you could have extra lives. not long after the stream ended you, ranboo, and tubbo practically dominated the twitter trending page. today however was tubbos last day at yours and shortly after you ended stream, the pair of you headed out to the train station so you could make sure your best friend made it onto the train safely. after you said your goodbyes, you decided to facetime jack on your way home to discuss vlog ideas, and just to talk to him, as you had been rather busy this past week going over plans with ranboo, tubbo, and all of your parents about the uk trip that was happening pretty soon.

a few days later, it was finally time to go film the vlog. you couldn’t exactly lie, you weren’t exactly looking forward to this, as you were told it had something to do with the sea and boats which oddly enough didn’t mix very well with your fear of the deep sea. you had no idea what’s down there and you didn’t want to find out, but hey at least you’d be with tubbo.

your parents offered to drive you there so you didnt have any additional stress from having to get a train then a taxi, this allowed you to have a pretty quiet journey to meet up with your friends. you sat in the back of the car on facetime with tommy who was the only one who knew about your fear and was rather confused as the why you would agree to do such a thing

“i’ll never understand what goes through your mind, you’ve got this though! you’re going to be completely okay, plus you never know it might help you get over your fear, you did tell me you had been working on getting over it.”

“I suppose you’re right, it can’t be too bad. I mean I love the sea. I just don’t like what’s deep down, you feel me?”

“i understand mate, but you need to remember jack wouldn’t put you in danger. as much as he acts like he would, and even if you do fall off the boat or some how end up in the water, you won’t automatically end up at the bottom of the sea. just try to enjoy yourself, yeah?”

“...yeah”

“call me when you get home you can tell me all about what happened, afterwards we can record a minecraft mod video.”

“of course, boss man.”

“you hang out with tubbo too much, you should hang out with me a lot more.”

the car pulled into the car park and within a minute of the car stopping tubbo was at the window shouting your name.

“right tommy, i should probably go, ill see you later bud!”

you said goodbye to your parents as tubbo opened your car door for you.

“what a gentleman, thank you, tubbo.”

“anything for you, now let’s go. jack began filming the intro and i really want the hat hes wearing.”

“you’re ridiculous.”

he stood with his arms crossed shaking his head, pretending to be offended before walking off with you not far behind him.

you stood with niki and wilbur as tubbo went off filming some of the intro with jack. the three of you stood talking about how you have all been and discussing more plans for your meetup.

“y/n, go control your friend, he’s stealing a hat!”

you ran up behind tubbo and stole the hat from him, putting it on your own head.

“why have you got the hat now?”

“i am now captain!”

“but i wanted to be captain!”

you and tubbo stood arguing back and forth over who was captain, ignoring jack trying to get the pair of you to stop.

“you have 5 seconds to stop arguing or you’re being separated 5...4...3...2...1 right.”

“jack no!”

jack pulled you aside claiming he has something really important to ask you.

“so did you bring something valuable?”

“yeah i did actually, i brought tubbo and the necklace tommy gave me for my birthday last year.”

tubbo overhearing the conversation walked over telling you both that he also brought a valuable item, in fact it was a family heirloom.

“i brought an urn.”

“why would you do that tubbo? what the fuck-“

“you two do realise if either of you lose it had to go in the sea?”

“poor grandma.”

“aye about that you will have to pry that necklace out of my hands in order to throw it in the sea!”

the three of you went up to wilbur and niki where wilbur stole the hat you stole from tubbo, and you were told that you were all about to race to the isle of wight.

it was unfortunately time to board the boat, you sat next to tubbo, so that you felt like you had some sort of control with what was about to happen. the others sat making jokes about what was going on whilst you were trying to get control of your breathing. as you all set sail, you thought you were doing a good job of hiding the fact you were potentially about to have a panic attack as no one seemed to notice, or so you thought. considering the fact tubbo was your best friend, he instantly noticed something was wrong and wrapped an arm around you, and decided that distracting you would be a lot better than making you focus on what was currently happening.

“hey y/n, i have an amazing idea for when ranboos in the uk. a 4 month sleep over.”

“heh?”

before you had time to fully process what was going on, all you could hear was wilbur now claiming to be captain then going on to tell you why portsmouth is called portsmouth. you couldnt help but laugh at the random things he was coming up with since he put the captains hat on.

“that is a cinema..i’ve been in this industry for a while now, isn’t that right?”

it was silent for a while until niki tried to steal the captains hat, but was unfortunately unsuccessful .

“maybe next time niki.”

“thank you for believing in me, y/n.”

you pointed out a castle which ended up with wilbur talking about how the planned executions there .

“are they dead?”

“...tubbo of course they’re dead. what kind of question was that?”

the other boat began getting closer to the boat you were all currently in, indicating that it was almost time for you all to split up into two groups.

“my boat is going much faster.”

“that is a sign of pollution.”

“wow jack you’re polluting the world, i hope you’re happy!”

the ride was pretty chill until jack asked what he had lost in the past.

“past relationships.”

“the love or host.”

“laugh you lose streams.”

“the waterslide races from when we went to the water park.”

you and tubbo continued listening things that jack had lost.

“okay. so i’ve lost a few things.”

jack looked towards the other boat.

“however, you two are about to lose each other.”

“excuse you?”

“no, y/n is mine!”

eventually wilbur had enough and picked tubbo up and took him to the other boat with him.

“TUBBO!”

“Y/N!”

you and niki sat laughing as jack and wilbur bickered about who was going to win the boat race. whilst jack was distracted, you felt niki tap your arm and told you to look over to the other boat where tubbo was reaching his arm out to you so you could quickly swap boats.

you quickly got into the boat and sat next to your best friend, tubbo knew you were still slightly nervous, so made it so you would be sat in between him and wilbur so you would feel a lot more comfortable. a few minutes later, your boat began to set off and all you could hear was a mixture of tubbos laughter and jacks yelling getting quieter the further you went.

“AY THEY CANT START WITHOUT US!. AND THEY GOT Y/N, WHEN DID THEY GET THEM?!”

you turned to face wilbur who pointed towards a building before announcing that it definitely belonged to the the three of you, and was renaming it reddit gold.

“reddit..reddit gold, are you serious?” you said through your laughter, the three of you sat together taking turns narrating what was happening .

“go on, y/n.”

“if this capsizes, were all drowning.”

“cheerful as awful.”

“do you think sharks are beneath us?”

“i’m not even answering that question.”

you looked over your shoulder to see that niki and jack were catching up to you all.

“i hope they don’t overtake us, otherwise it’s bye bye tubbo.”

“and grandma.”

“excuse you, tubbo?”

“he’s claiming that he brought an urn with him and if we lose our valuable item gets chucked into the sea.”

a little while later jacks boat was next to yours and you and wilbur started to shout how it was like romeo and juliet.

“y/n, you studied this at gcse a while back, yell some quotes.”

“tubbo i didn’t listen to the teachers.”

“do it!”

“no!”

wilbur continued to talk to the others whilst you and tubbo sat bickering about William Shakespeare .

“tubbo my favourite character was benvolio and he fucked off halfway through.”

“what do you mean he fucked off?”

“he literally disappeared.”

wilbur was genuinely questioning what he was listening to he slowly turned around and tried to catch your attention; however you were currently in the middle of a debate about why benvolio disappeared, which was that last thing you expected to be doing on the boat. eventually your debate died down and you looked up to see wilbur shaking his head at you both, clearly confused as to why you spent 5 minutes arguing about romeo and juliet. an idea came to wilburs mind as he started laughing and pointing at the sea.

“drink some seawater, tubbo.”

you looked away as tubbo reached into the water trying to hold as much water as he could before bringing it to his lips and drinking the seawater.

“tubbo did you really just-“

“more tubbo!”

tubbo did the same as before, however this time brought his hands towards your face.

“drink it, y/n!”

“yeah, y/n, you can help desalinate it.”

“how wonderful, i’ll pass though.”

tubbo looked at you pretending to be upset and lifted his hands towards you again, this time you gave in and drank some of the water.

“thanks, tubbo, I can now only taste salt.”

jack noticed what you and tubbo were doing and looked at wilbur confused.

“im making them drink seawater!”

“what’s it like?”

“potassium!”

“salt.. a lot of salt!”

you checked your phone as you kept receiving multiple messages from tommy trying to get your attention, forgetting that you were currently on a boat with the others. you looked up from your phone to see tubbo drinking more seawater.

“AGAIN?”

you had no idea what was going on for jack and niki, but it sounded a lot like they lost hope as jack yelled asking if there was room for him on the boat while tubbo sat flipping him off in response to his question. jack continued to yell at the three of you however none of you could hear what he was yelling, so you kind of sat just nodding your head in agreement to what he was saying. wilbur pointed out that he could see the finishing line and how it looked like you were all going to make it. you looked over to see jack and niki recreating that one scene from titanic tubbo looked at you smiling, trying not to laugh.

“absolutely not one of us, if not both of us, would end up in the sea.”

the boat began to go significantly faster. at the start you were unsure how to feel, however a few minutes into it you began laughing enjoying how fast you were going.

“woahhh we’re turning!”

the boat did a loop before going straight on as fast as it could go.

“y/n, tubbo, we’re going. we’re going.”

“OH MY GOD!”

you ended up passing another boat you and tubbo instantly waved to everyone on the boat a few people waved back .

“they don’t wanna wave.”

“they know their boat is bigger than ours.”

“they could easily ram us and kill us all.”

“hopefully they decide against doing that.”

the boat began weaving resulting in you, tubbo, and wilbur constantly crashing into each other, not that any of you cared you were all having the time of your lives. you pointed at a boat which was cutting off the boat jack and niki were in .

“we’ve got this in the bag boys, victory is ours!”

your boat slowed down so it could dock.

“i think we’ve won!”

“we won”!

“holy shit we won! tubbo doesn’t have to go in the sea now!”

everyone got out of the boat so you could all wait for jack and niki to reach the dock, as the two of them approached you all tubbo began to sing.

“we are the champions my friend!”

“STOP IT!”

“i have to go into the fucking water!”

you pulled niki into a hug.

“jack you cruel man.”

“did you not have fun niki..we had a great time.”

you let go of niki and stood behind tubbo placing your head on his shoulder whilst jack explained to wilbur what was going to happen if they lost.

“oh, I thought we got to decide who was thrown into the water.”

“no no no no no no!”

“well i think considering we won..”

after a small discussion as a team, you all instantly agreed that jack should be thrown into the water, you all stood on the boat as niki argued that he cant throw her into the water. a couple seconds later wilbur walks towards jack handing him the camera before picking him up.

“are you ready?”

“i don’t think the bits that funny will, i don’t think the bits that funny!”

you all screamed and laughed as jack was thrown into the water. jack complained about the temperature of the sea as he climbed back onto the boat only to be pushed off again by you and tubbo.

“that’s revenge for trying to put us on separate boats!”

you spent the rest of the day together just hanging together as a group before you said your goodbyes.

the ride back home was you excitedly explaining what your boat ride was like to your parents, once you got home you ran upstairs to your room then called tommy on discord

“how was it then?”

“tommy it was so cool, honestly i wish you could have come with us.”

“i mean you’re coming with me george and wilbur to a water course next week, you don’t have a choice.”

“oh okay, it’s a good job i’d love to be there then, tom, also what mod are we playing just so i can check i have it ready.”

“rlcraft.”

the two of you spent a good hour talking before getting ready to film a video with charlie and jschlatt for tommys youtube channel.

taglist:

@l0ver0fj0y @etheriaaly @xx-smiley-xx @hawarun @kylobensgirl @cawcaw-pretty-thing @reverse-iak @c1loudee

[bungeenomin]

Professional- Jung Jaehyun

genre: ceo!jaehyun x reader angst, smut and full (in that order)

word count: 7k

summary: when you and your ‘no strings attached” fuck buddy that you happen to catch feelings for, end on bad terms, you completely block him out of your life, that is until four years later, when you get a job working for one of the biggest ceo’s in Korea, Jung Jaehyun becomes your boss, and you his assistant

warnings: angst(gets resolved), slight degradation, dirty talk, unprotected sex(wrap before you tap), rough sex, thigh riding, slight overstimulation, orgasms

4 years ago

“Fuck Jae i’m gonna cum” you moan loudly in his ear, resulting in a grunt escaping from the back of Jaehyun’s throat as he picks up his pace. 

“Mmh cum with me baby” Jaehyun moans, and that’s all it takes for you both to come undone together, moans and swear words bouncing off the walls as you come down from your high. 

Jaehyun’s pace finally comes to a stop as he throws his body down beside you, still panting. This was a regular night for you and Jaehyun. For about six months now you’ve been fuck buddies and at least four times a week you end up in one of your dorms. Quick fucks whenever either of you wanted them or needed them, or late night fucks. Even though you were fucking each other with no strings attached, it never became awkward between you too, although the small crush you had on Jaehyun did make the whole no strings attached thing slightly more difficult. You never meant to catch feelings for Jaehyun, it just, happened. 

“I”m gonna go clean up, i’ll be back in a sec” Jaehyun said, caressing your cheek softly before getting out of the bed and moving to the bathroom. 

You didn’t mean to look at Jaehyun’s phone while he was gone. You really didn’t. You heard a phone notification and while checking if it was yours, you accidentally picked up Jaehyun’s, who had the same model phone and happened to not have a case on his either. 

“What the fuck” you whisper to yourself as you see the message displayed on the screen. 

‘Baby i miss you :( come over, i wanna pick up from where we left off the last time ;)’ the text read. You almost forget how to breathe as your eyes begin to swell with tears. You know, no strings attached, but for the last six months, you and Jaehyun had been exclusively fuck buddies. You know you would certainly tell him if you were letting someone else stick their dick in you, yet here he is, fucking other people and not having the audacity to even tell you. 

With tears streaming down your cheeks, you get up and start collecting your clothes from the floor and dressing yourself as fast as you can. You just want to leave and never have to look at his stupid face that you’re so obsessed with ever again. Jaehyun walks back into the room as you pull your shirt over your head, confused as to why you’re suddenly in such a rush to leave. “Hey, what’s up? where are yo-”

“What’s up? Why don’t you check your fucking phone Jaehyun” you spit, anger seeping out of you. Jaehyun gives you a concerned look before picking up his phone, his face dropping when he see’s the message on the screen. “Yeah Jaehyun, that’s whats fucking up, except, you didn’t even feel the need to tell me” 

“Y/n- we said no strings attached” Jaehyun says, not knowing what else to say. 

“There are no fucking strings attached Jaehyun! Funnily enough i fucking hate you right now, but don’t you think i have the right to know that my fuck buddy is fucking someone else?” you question. 

“I didn’t think it matt-”

“Of course it fucking matters Jaehyun. But you’re such a fucking self absorbed fucking prick that all you care about is getting your fucking average ass dick wet. Fuck you Jung Jaehyun” you spit as you walk towards the door, “if i never see you again it’l be too soon”. 

After that night, you didn’t see Jaehyun again. You blocked his number and all his social media platforms. You completely cut him out of your life. It hurt, but it didn’t hurt half as much as what he did to you. You know, what he did shouldn’t have mattered, but it did, and that wasn’t very no strings attached of you. You shouldn’t have fallen for Jaehyun put you did, and before you could even tell him, he broke your heart. You hated him for that. 

Present day

Your legs are decorated with goose bumps as you walk in your black, skin tight pencil skirt through the busy street. The cold winter air is intense, but you know that first impressions are everything, and so here you are, freezing your ass off to make a good first impression on your first day of work.

Honestly, you still can’t believe you’ve got this job. You applied for it late one night just by chance, not at all thinking you could get a job as the ceo of one of the largest companies in Korea’s assistant.

You take a shaky breath, before pushing the large doors open and stepping into the building. The interior is more expensive than you expected. Modern design, glass chandeliers, velvet couches, glass cases full of awards and pricey looking ornaments and antiques. It’s so beautifully decorated.

“Ah you must be y/n!” an older woman in sophisticated clothing says, a clipboard in her hand.

“Yes! That’s me. I’m starting work here today” you reply, a gentle smile on your lips.

“Yes of course!” the woman replies as she begins walking, motioning for you to come with her, “I’ll bring you to Mr. Jung’s office right away. I have to warn you though, he can be, well, difficult. He’s a very determined and work orientated man”.

If you weren’t nervous before, you certainly are now. This job would be just perfect if the ceo was bearable. “Good luck” the lady whispers, as she opens the door for you. “Mr Jung, your new assistant is here” she announces, before leaving you to your own devices.

As you take a step into the large office, you see a tall man, facing away from the desk and looking out at the beautiful view of the city the office has. “It’s funny isn’t it? How people meet again” the man states, not moving from his position.

You know what voice. Hell, you wish you didn’t but you do. You never wanted to hear that voice again, or see that face, and now he’s your boss? The male quirks an eyebrow and turns to face you at your lack of response, and there he is. Jung Jaehyun.

“Yes” you reply quietly, completely shell shocked at his presence. After all these years. Jaehyun from college is one of the most successful ceo’s in all of Korea, typical. 

“Ah ah, yes sir to you. Where are your manners?” Jaehyun replies, a smirk on his lips. 

“Yes sir”

“Much better” Jaehyun replies, moving to his seat. “Your desk is there, take a seat” he points towards a large desk, although much smaller than his own, placed not too far from his desk, but far enough for you both to have personal space.

“Let’s get a few things straight” Jaehyun starts as soon as you sit in your seat, “other people don’t run my company for me, i run it. My company has no shareholders, it’s entirely mine, so don’t even consider thinking you can help me with my business. Your job is not that hard, a child could do it. All you have to do is keep track of my meetings and schedules, i’m a busy man y/n, if you forget, consider your self fired. I don’t have the time to work both of our jobs. You’ll accompany me to meetings, you are to write down every detail that is spoken about. I never do business on the day, i go home and reflect, which is why you better have every last detail on that paper. It’s also your job to go through my emails, but nothing to do with business deals, that’s none of your concern. My business deals are in my own email, so don’t worry. The email i’m going to give you is for promotional deals, sponsorships and the likes, deal with them accordingly. Don’t fuck it up y/n, it’s simple work. If i had two of me, i would do it myself but unfortunately, that’s not the case and well, here you are. Oh and lastly, if i want coffee, that’s on you”

He’s changed. He’s changed so much. He’s not the Jaehyun you knew. Not your Jaehyun. Well, the Jaehyun you knew was never really your Jaehyun. He made sure of that. Maybe this is still old Jaehyun, and he was just nice to you so he could get his dick wet. Maybe. 

“Do i make myself clear, y/n?”

“Yes sir” 

“Great, you’re only in for an induction today really so just set up your desk and go i guess” Jaehyun says monotonously, his eyes back in work mode as they stare at the large computer screen in front of him. 

“Oh, okay sir” you reply, taking your stationary out of your bag and displaying it neatly on your desk. 

“See you tomorrow” Jaehyun says, eyes failing to lift from the screen that illuminates his face. “My coffee better not be on my desk a minute after 8am, i’m very punctual, so 8:01 won’t do”

“Yes sir” you reply, trying your best to keep your calm, “see you tomorrow” and with that, you leave the man to his work in the office, releasing a sigh you didn’t know you were holding in the second you exit the room.  

When the next morning arrives, you do everything you can to make sure you don’t piss off Jaehyun. You arrive fifteen minutes early to set up your computer and get his coffee, but of course, by the time you reach the coffee machine, there’s a line. 

You check your watch as you quickly walk towards the office, coffee in hand, and just as you reach the door you see the time switch to 8:01. Of course. You open the door, in hopes that you will have beaten Jaehyun to the office but you didn’t. He is sat at his desk, looking through stacks of paper work, wearing a serious expression. 

“Late on your first day? We really aren’t getting off to a good start now, are we dear?” Jaehyun questions, the same serious expression displayed on his face as he looks over the frame of his low hung glasses at you. 

Dear. 

“I’m sorry sir” you reply, before walking towards his desk to place his coffee. 

“Let it be the only slip up” Jaehyun grumbles, his focus now back on the documents in front of him. He was never much of a morning person, but from what you saw yesterday, you aren’t sure if he’s much of an evening person now either.

“What’s todays schedule?” Jaehyun questions a few minutes later, taking a small sip of his coffee, and humming in satisfaction. 

“It says here you just have a call with Mr Wang at 9am sir” you reply, as you read the schedule, insuring you weren’t missing anything. 

Jaehyun leaves out an unsatisfied scoff at that, “Fine, it’ll be on speaker, write the details. He’s very persuasive so i will need a lot of reflection before signing anything with him, make sure you write down everything”. 

So you did. You felt as if your hand was going to fall off due to how quickly Mr Wang spoke, but you got everything written down. You typed it all out in a neat format so Jaehyun would understand it perfectly. 

Jaehyun was on his third cup of coffee since sitting down to reflect on the business deal that Mr Wang had offered him, and the man looked stressed. Heavy sighs left his lips over and over again as he weighed out his options, desperately trying to make a decision. He looks so attractive when he’s worked up. He always has. Any time he was stressed during university, he would call you over and just fuck it out of his system. He’d never do that now though. Not anymore. 

“More coffee?” you question hesitantly, looking at the empty cup sitting on his desk, as Jaehyun sits with his head in his hands. 

“No” Jaehyun simply replies. “There’s a bottle of whiskey over in the cabinet, bring it over with a cup”. 

It would be nice to hear a please from Jaehyun, but right now, you know he’s up to his eyes with stress. 

“Here you go sir” you announce, leaving the glass and bottle in front of him. 

“Are you done your tasks?” Jaehyun questions, pouring himself a glass of the alcohol. 

“Yes sir” you reply. 

“Go home then” Jaehyun responds, chugging the drink down his throat in one gulp. 

“Thank you sir” you reply, to which Jaehyun just nods. The atmosphere between you two is unexplainable. Weird. 

Day two of working with Jaehyun is no better. He’s narky. Worse than yesterday.

“Coffee” Jaehyun demands, as he’s busy writing on the documents in front of him.

You bring him his coffee, leaving it in front of him and go back to your work.

“The coffee isn’t nice” Jaehyun announces, shoving the drink further away from him.

“Would you like me to make you a ne-”

“No, you’ve put me off the whole idea of it now” Jaehyun huffs, eyes flicking between the documents and his computer screen.

“Sorry” you sigh, before returning to your desk. 

“Sorry what?”

“Sorry sir” 

“That’s what i thought”

The nice lady who greeted you on the first day was right. He is a lot. You never thought he would grow into such an arrogant person, but here he is. 

“Sir, you have a call with Mr Huang in ten minutes” you announce as you look at the schedule in front of you. 

Jaehyun nearly chokes when you say it. “Ten minutes? You have one fucking job and you decide to tell me ten minutes in advanced? You’re fucking useless” Jaehyun shouts, very pissed off at this point, before storming out of the office. 

Ouch. Jaehyun never, ever raised his voice at you before. Never. Jaehyun would always be so calm, so collected. He never once called you anything degrading, outside of the bedroom that is. After sex, he would even go as far as assuring you know that you are none of the derogatory names he called you, always praising you. This hurts, a lot. 

A few moments later, Jaehyun enters the room again, arms full of files and a freshly made cup of coffee, one he made himself after your previous attempt. His face still carries anger. 

“Do you want me to help you carry th-”

“No, your help isn’t necessary. Just note down the meeting details” Jaehyun cuts you off bluntly, before beginning the call.

A week into the job, and it’s been one hell of a week. No matter what you do, Jaehyun seems to be angry at you. No matter how hard you try, it’s not enough for him. Slightly feeling like deja vu. 

“Mr Jung?” you question sheepishly, standing in front of his desk. 

“I prefer sir, but what?” Jaehyun responds, still focusing on his work. 

“I know you don’t like me and that’s okay, but, is this personal? or is it that you just don’t like the way i work?”

Jaehyun quirks an eyebrow, dropping his pen, folding his arms over his chest and staring at you intensely. “So you’re getting bold?” 

“I-”

“I’m your boss, and you’re speaking out to me”

“It’s not like th-” 

“Then what’s it like? Hm?” 

You stay silent, regretting ever opening your mouth. 

“To me, y/n, it seems one of us is being extremely unprofessional, and that someone is certainly not me” Jaehyun starts. “I hate unprofessionalism, it’s something i will never be. You don’t get to come up to me all soppy because i think you’re not doing a good job. I didn’t ask you to do a shit job, nor do i pay you to do a shit job. So change. I don’t want this unprofessional shit from you again, do i make myself clear?” 

“Y-yes sir” you stutter, “i’m s-sorry” 

“Mhmm” Jaehyun responds. Jaehyun returns to his work, accidentally pushing one of the documents he was working on off the side of the desk, pages going everywhere. 

“For fuck sa-”

“It’s okay sir, i’ll pick them up” you reply, bending down to gather the documents before Jaehyun could get up. 

Jaehyun can’t help it. He can’t help but to look at your ass in that skirt he finds oh so sexy as you are bent down beside his desk. Lewd thoughts begin to fill Jaehyun’s mind, thinking back to old times with the two of you. His mind also strays to thinking of how good it would feel, fucking you at his office desk. But Jaehyun is a professional man after all, as he claims. 

Jaehyun awkwardly clears his throat and returns his gaze to the work in front of him, right before you stand up and hand him the documents. “Here you go sir” you smile softly, allowing the documents to sit carefully on the desk, completely oblivious to Jaehyun’s antics only moments ago. 

“You can go no” Jaehyun announces, rubbing his temples, you assume to relive some stress. “Tomorrow, i have a lot of work to get through. I’ll be working extra hours, and so will you. Probably working until midnight or after”

“Oh” you reply. That’s a lot of overtime. You are always so drained by the end of a 8-6 hour day with Jaehyun, you can’t even imagine how you’ll feel by the end of tomorrow. 

“You’ll get payed accordingly, don’t worry. Just clock in and clock out and you’ll get payed for the hours you work, and receive double pay for the hours you work after 8pm” Jaehyun looks up at you, waiting for you to approve. 

“Okay sir” 

“Good. Well, see you tomorrow then, you can go”

The second you leave the office, a deflated sigh leaves your lips. As if the embarrassing discussion you had to have with Jaehyun wasn’t enough, now you have to deal with him for hours extra tomorrow. At least you’ll get good money for it. 

What you aren’t aware of as you exit the building, is the state you left Jaehyun in. As soon as you leave the office, Jaehyun locks the door, ensuring he has no surprise visitors. When Jaehyun returns to his desk, he unbuckles his belt, ridding himself of his slacks and boxers and sitting in his seat, bare legs against the cold leather. 

Jaehyun throws his head back the second his hand meets his hard length, finally getting some well needed release. A small, airy moan escapes Jaehyun’s lips as he runs his thumb over his angry tip, collecting up his pre cum before he starts lazily pumping his length. 

Jaehyun releases heavy breaths, with one imagine in his mind as he pumps his dick faster, his grip tightening. “Mmh fuck” he groans, the images in his mind making him harder and harder by the second, as his pace just quickens. Jaehyun is quick to unbutton his dress shirt with his free hand, knowing where this is going. 

“Fuck y/n” he moans deeply, getting completely lost in his pleasure, images of you and him performing far from professional ministrations cloud his mind. 

“Mmh wanna fuck you so good” he groans, as he feels his dick twitch in his hand. “Fuck” he breaths out, squeezing tighter, teasing his tip again. 

Loud moans and groans fall from Jaehyun’s lips as he reaches his high, his load covering his toned abs. “Fuck” he breathlessly sighs, running a hand through his hair. 

Jaehyun is very glad he soundproofed his office now. Moaning your assistants name certainly isn’t professional, and Jaehyun has a reputation to uphold, even within the four walls of his own company. 

The next morning, you are determined for this day to go well. It’s too long of a shift for Jaehyun to be in a pissy mood. 

Today, you reach the office before Jaehyun, coffee in hand. You leave the coffee on Jaehyun’s desk, before heading to your own and setting yourself up for the day. 

Jaehyun is surprised to say the least that you were for once, in the office before him, coffee waiting for him. Maybe his talk with you finally knocked some punctuality into you. 

Jaehyun didn’t say anything to you, but what you’ve come to learn with Jaehyun is that silence is better than words. When he’s silent, he has no complaints, or at least none prominent enough for him to voice. When he speaks on the other hand, he is complaining, the vast majority of the time. 

Before you realise it, it’s already 9pm, three hours past your usual finish time. “Take a break” Jaehyun says, before standing up from his desk and walking to the couch on the other side of the large office, taking a seat and admiring the night time view of the city. He always found it relaxing, just watching the world go by, even if it is full of hustle and bustle. 

Jaehyun looks over at you, as you just silently sit at your desk scrolling through your phone. He returns his gaze to the window before speaking up. “You can come here”.

You whip your head around to face him, kind of shocked at his words. “Oh, uh, it’s fine, don’t worry i wi-”

“Y/n” Jaehyun says, turning his gaze to meet yours. “Come sit here”. 

You take a deep breath, although a shaky one, before standing up and making your way over to the couch, sitting on the opposite side to Jaehyun. Not daring to look at him, you also look out at the beautiful view, a small smile creeping onto your lips at the sight of the city. 

“Nice view, isn’t it?” Jaehyun questions, throwing you back. He hasn’t tried to speak to you at all unless necessary since you got here. 

“Yeah it’s really nice. You’re lucky you got such a beautiful building” you reply nervously, which doesn’t go unnoticed by Jaehyun. 

“I am” he replies, “one of my dads associates happened to be selling it when i was buying and gave me a good deal on it”  

“I see” you reply awkwardly. What is even happening?

“Mmh. I’m very proud of this place. Very proud of my company” 

“You should be. It’s a beautiful building and the company is so successful. You built it by your self from the ground up, that’s something to be proud of sir” you reply, eyes now staring at Jaehyun’s side profile. 

“I’m very proud. This company means the world to me” Jaehyun replies, your eyes still glued to his side profile. 

“Are you just going to stare?” Jaehyun questions, with a raised eye brow, causing you to panic and blush, breaking your gaze on him immediately. 

“No sir, sorry i wasn’t s-staring i was jus-”

“Just what?” Jaehyun questions, amused at how easily flustered you are. Still are. 

“There was just something, on your face” you lie, trying to play it off. 

“Then come get it”

“What?”

“Come get it off my face then” Jaehyun states as he stands up from his seat, waiting for you to do the same. 

You stand up, looking Jaehyun in the eyes, as he nods, signalling he meant what he said. Obviously, there isn’t anything on Jaehyun’s face but you’ve gotten yourself into this situation. You take a step forward to be directly in front of Jaehyun, your eye contact not once breaking. Your eyes move to Jaehyun’s cheek, where you decide to pretend to wipe. Grabbing onto Jaehyun’s forearm with one hand, you wipe his cheek with the other. 

“There” you whisper. Your bodies are dangerously close. Jaehyun has still not taken his strong gaze off of your face, causing the air between you to be heavy. Your eyes meet his again and you feel so small, so vulnerable, your stomach full of butterflies. 

“Back to work” Jaehyun announces, stepping past you and walking back to his desk, a smug smirk on his lips, leaving you in shock behind him. 

A couple of more hours pass by, and before you know it, it’s 12:30 am. Jaehyun sighs, taking off his glasses and pinching the bridge of his nose. “You can call your boyfriend or whoever to collect you if you don’t drive here yourself”. 

“Oh, i don’t have a boyfriend sir” you reply, internally slapping yourself for so unnecessarily announcing that. “I’ll be walking home sir”. 

Jaehyun looks up at you, his eyebrows knitted. “Don’t be ridiculous, you can’t walk home by yourself in the dark at nearly 1 am. I’ll drop you home” 

“No sir honestl-”

“I said i’ll drop you home” Jaehyun replies sternly. “No if’s or but’s”  

The drive home was short as you don’t live far, but none the less, it was awkward. Neither of you speaking, the only noise being the radio quietly playing, and the sound of the cars engine. 

“Thank you for the lift home sir” you smile gently, as you step out of the sleek, black, expensive sports car. 

“It’s no problem” Jaehyun replied, and you could have sworn you saw his lips turn up at the edges slightly. “I’ll see you Monday” and with that, he drove off into the night.  

The next week to come was surprisingly bearable. It’s Friday, and you’ve gotten through the week without any big issues with Jaehyun, no big arguments, no leaving work feeling like busting into tears. 

Just like last Friday, Jaehyun has asked you to stay behind with him for a few hours, to finish up everything before the weekend.

“Let’s take a break” Jaehyun announces as he stands up, stretching before moving over to the couch like last week. You assume just like last week, you have permission to sit on the couch with him, and so you do. 

“Did i say you could sit on the couch with me?” Jaehyun questions. 

“Oh sorry sir i-”

“I’m kidding, chill” he chuckles softly, something you certainly haven’t seen in four years. Something you missed so dearly. 

Jaehyun drapes his arm over the back of the couch, stretching it passed your shoulders. You turn your head away, nervous that he’ll see how red you are. 

“It’s nice to see you still blush over the smallest of things” Jaehyun teases, eyes on the view ahead of him, and to him, the view isn’t the city. 

“Do not” you pout, turning to look at him to see him already staring at you. 

“Cute” he simply says, tapping your pouted bottom lip with his finger. “But you were always cute” he continues, eyes locked on yours. 

He places his hand on your cheek, caressing it gently. “You were always cute, but i always found you so sexy, even now, you look so sexy for me every day. Make it so hard for me to concentrate baby. Always wearing those fucking skirts and dresses that drive me crazy. Then if that wasn’t enough, bending over in them right in my face baby. So naughty of you, distracting your boss like that”. 

Jaehyun’s eyes are dark, bold, looking at your shocked eyes. Were you hearing him correctly?

“Sir i-”

“Shh baby, no talking. Bosses orders” Jaehyun winked before kissing under your ear, sucking on it lightly. He remembers you love getting kissed here. His mouth moves lower on your neck, leaving open mouthed kisses in his trail, as he sucks harsh marks all over your neck. 

“S-sir, we shouldn’t be doing this” you whisper breathily, although your words contradict your actions as you grab Jaehyun’s toned thigh. He’s bulked up more since university. 

“Who’s the boss here baby?” Jaehyun asks against your neck.

“You sir”

“Mhmm, so listen to me like a good girl. I’m saying it’s okay, as long as you wan-”

“Oh course i want to” you cut him off, your voice a whisper. 

“Mmh, so needy for me, are you gonna be a needy slut for me?” Jaehyun questions, eyes now back on yours. 

You nod, feeling so small under Jaehyun’s burning eyes. That’s not enough for Jaehyun though. 

“Words princess” he says sternly, placing his pointer finger under your chin, ensuring all your attention is on him. 

“Yes sir” you whisper. 

That’s all Jaehyun needed to hear, as he pulls you in by the back of your neck, connecting your lips for the first time in four years. A small gasp escapes your lips the second he pulls you in, Jaehyun using that opportunity to slide his tongue into your mouth. He never changed, always impatient when you were kissing, adding tongue as soon as he possibly could. 

You move yourself to straddle Jaehyun’s lap, your lips never leaving each others, kissing each other with such hunger. “Mmh, you want me that bad huh?”

“Yes sir, so bad” you mumble against his lips. Jaehyun groans, lifting your skirt up to your waist to reveal your bare ass, a stringy thong the only thing covering it. 

“So sexy for me. Just me right?”

“Yes sir, only you, no one else” you breathe out. “Sir, can i please ride your thigh?” you ask shyly. 

Jaehyun places a chaste kiss on your lips, “how could i say no when you ask me so nicely doll?”

Jaehyun helps you to pull off your thong, leaving your lower half completely bare, before he places his hand on your waist helping you align your dripping heat with his thigh.

A soft moan escapes your lips the second your heat touches his thigh, before you even begin moving.

“Mmh i missed your pretty noises” Jaehyun whispers in your year, nibbling softly, his voice sensual, driving you crazy.

You place your hands on Jaehyun’s broad shoulders for support, before you slowly begin rocking yours hips against him, heavy breaths and whimpers escaping your lips.

Jaehyun can feel your wetness already through his slacks, proud of how wet you already are for him. “Good girl” he mutters against your neck, dragging at your shirt to have more space to suck on.

As you pick up your pace, you can’t help but throw your head back in pleasure, as Jaehyun flexed his thigh muscles underneath you. “Mmh sir, feels so good” you moan, as Jaehyun now unbottons your shirt, moving his mouth further and further down your chest, littering your skin in hickeys. Marking you as his.

You’re so lost in your pleasure, so close to coming undone that your pace slows down, not being able to push through the feeling of the knot forming in your stomach.

Jaehyun notices, grabbing your hips and pushing them back and forth quickly against his thigh, resulting in loud moans and swear words to spill out from your lips.

“F-fuck sir, i’m gonna cum fuck, feels so good, i need to cum sir, please let me cum for you”

Jaehyun moves his thumb to your sensitive clit, rubbing clockwise circles around it at a rapid pace, “cum for me baby girl, show me how much of a good slut you are for me”

He didn’t have to tell you twice, as you come undone on Jaehyun’s thigh, completely soaking his slacks. Jaehyun deciding to tease, continues to stimulate your clit after you came down from your high.

“F-fuck fuck fuck stop, sir i already came stop” you moan at the overstimulation. You forgot how much he loves it.

Jaehyun finally pulls away his hand, bringing his fingers to your lips and immediately shoving them in your mouth, allowing you to suck on them.

“You taste so good baby hmm?” Jaehyun states, more so than questions, as you nod your head in agreement. “Such a good little slut for me angel. I missed you so so much, did you miss me?” Jaehyun questions, as he unclasps your bra, throwing it on the floor before latching his mouth around and running his flat tongue over your hard, sensitive nipple, squeezing the other one between his fingers. 

“Mmh fuck sir, yes i missed you so so much” you moan, tangling your fingers in his hair and pulling on it, causing Jaehyun to release a small moan against your nipple, the vibrations causing your eyes to roll to the back of your head. 

“Sir” you moan, “this is so, wrong, so unprofessional”

“Fuck being professional” Jaehyun groans, lips still on your nipple.

Jaehyun moves back up to your lips, kissing them softly before whispering darkly, “I can’t wait to fill you up so good. Gonna make sure you can’t walk tomorrow doll”

“Sir please, fill me up, fuck me hard, i need you so badly” you whisper, need present in your voice. 

“So pretty and needy” Jaehyun coos, tucking a stand of hair behind your ear. “I can’t wait to hear you screaming for me”

With that Jaehyun practically rips his shirt off, pulling his slacks and boxers down almost as fast. You’re taken by surprise when Jaehyun grabs you in his arms, carrying your body back to his desk. Once he reaches the desk, you’re more surprised when he pushes everything off of his desk and onto the floor, placing you down on the desk. “Wanna make you feel so good baby girl” Jaehyun mutters against your neck, as he pumps himself in his hand.

“You always do” you whisper, pulling on his hair gently.

With no warning, Jaehyun aligns himself with you, snapping his hips inside of you, a scream leaving the back of your throat at his sudden action.

“Mmh fuck sir i forgot how big you are, how well you fill me up” you moan, pulling Jaehyun almost impossibly closer to you.

Jaehyun’s pace is ruthless, slamming his hips into you, filling the room with sounds of skin on skin and loud moans from the both of you. “So tight for me doll”

Jaehyun decides to change position, moving you from your seated position on his desk to having you bent over it, ass on perfect display for him. “So fucking sexy” he grunts, before pounding into you from behind, hitting your g spot with every strong thrust.

“F-fuck sir, feels so fucking good” you moan loudly, grabbing onto the desk for support as Jaehyun pounds into you mercilessly.

“You look so fucking good like this, bent over and needy for me. You need my cock so bad don’t you?” Jaehyun moans, his head throw back in pleasure, always finding great motivation in praise from you.

“Yes sir, fuck i need your cock so badly. No one fucks me like you do, you fill me up so good” you moan, knowing it’s driving him crazy.

“Fuck” Jaehyun moans out breathily, feeling his dick twitching inside of you. He knows he’s close.

Jaehyun grabs you by the ponytail, pulling you up so your back is against his, his pace not faltering for a second. Jaehyun’s hands immediately find their way to where they know you need them, one hand pinching your left nipple harshly, while the other hand is rubbing quick circles on your clit, your eyes rolling back in your head in pleasure.

“F-fuck sir i’m gonna c-cum fuck” you moan, grabbing onto Jaehyun’s forearm, looking for any sort of support.

Jaehyun groans in your ear, “mmh cum for me pretty girl” and that’s all it took for you to come undone. Both you and Jaehyun fill the room with moans, as you release your loads together, fucking each other through your highs. You feel weak as you grab onto Jaehyun with all you can. You always enjoyed sex with Jaehyun, but this, this was nothing you’ve ever experienced before.

Jaehyun places a soft kiss on your forehead, “let’s lay down, mhm?” Jaehyun questions, to which you nod in response, not recovered enough to give him a proper answer.

Jaehyun carried you in his arms back to the couch, before laying you both down, cuddling you in his arms. “You did so good for me my angel” Jaehyun whispers sweet words of praise as he runs a hand through your hair.

“I missed you a lot sir” you reply, looking at him with a soft smile. You really did miss him, but you can’t help but be thankful for how things worked out all those years ago. Everything happens for a reason, and who would have know what would have happened if that day didn’t go how it did. You may have never gotten to meet Jaehyun as a fully grown and matured adult.

“Don’t be silly my baby, you know it’s Jaehyun” he replies, a loving smile on his lips.

“I know your name is Jaehyun obviously but you wanted me to call you sir” you pout.

“I did, because it’s professional. But, i will let you in on a little secret. I have every one else call me Mr Jung” Jaehyun chuckles softly, placing a kiss to your nose as you scrunch it up.

“Why do you make me call- oh” you blush, realising why he makes you and no one else call him sir.

“You know i always liked it when you called me that” he teases, poking at your side, causing you to roll your eyes.

There’s silence for a few minutes before Jaehyun finally speaks up, “hey y/n?”

“Mhm?” you reply, drawing little love hearts on Jaehyun’s chest. 

“Did you mean it when you said i have an average sized dick?” 

“What?”

“The last time we fucked, and you were angry at me, you told me my dick was average sized”

“You fucking dork” you giggle slapping his chest lightly, “how did you even remember that?”

“It bruised my ego” Jaehyun replies jokingly.

“Well tell your dick’s bruised ego that it’s much bigger than average” you giggle against his chest

“Will do” Jaehyun replies, a small chuckle leaving his lips. 

This time, it’s you that breaks the silence that washes over you “I really did miss you” you pout against his chest. “I like this. A lot”

“Yeah?” Jaehyun questions.

“Yeah” you reply. “I like having sex with you, i like cuddling with you, i like joking with you, i like talking with you”

“Well then, i guess i’m gonna have to correct my past mistakes and act on it, hmm?”

You look up at Jaehyun, seeing his genuine eyes. “You want to act on it?” you ask, looking at Jaehyun with doe eyes.

“There’s nothing i want more than for us to work out. The day you started hating me, i hated myself. I never forgave myself for losing you, before i could even call you mine. I’m not going to let that happen again. Life brought us back together, and this time, i’m not letting you go”

4 years later

“Ah Mr and Ms Jung, welcome back from the honeymoon” you receptionist happily exclaims, as you and Jaehyun walk hand and hand into the company building. 

“Thank you very much” Jaehyun smiles appreciatively. 

“Was it a nice break?” 

“It was beautiful” you reply “it was so nice to get away for a week, leave work behind. But we’re back and have our company to run” you giggle. 

“Mhmm, all three of us” Jaehyun smiles, wrapping his arms around you from behind and placing them on your stomach, where the tiniest bump has made itself present. 

Your receptionist gasp, eyes glowing with excitement, “You don’t mean you’re expecting, do you?”

“We are! Baby Jung will be making an appearance in a few months” you smile, placing your hands atop of Jaehyun’s, your fingers playing with his wedding ring. 

A lot has changed in the last four years. After this crazy world dragged you back together, you and Jaehyun worked perfectly. Dating not only the love of your life, but also your best friend was the easiest thing to do. Within only a few months of dating, you moved into Jaehyun’s apartment with him, which a meek year and a half later turned into you both buying a house together. 

With the company expanding rapidly, and Jaehyun deciding he wants you to be his forever, Jaehyun gave you half the company. He knew he couldn’t handle it all on his own anymore, and he knew that you both balanced each other out, one of you always bringing something to the table that the other didn’t, making you perfect to be ceo’s together. 

As soon as he signed over your half of the company to you, he was quick in proposing to you, wanting to make you each others officially for the rest of your lives. Three weeks before the wedding you were both blessed with finding out that baby Jung was going to be with you in nine months time, the news putting you both on cloud nine. 

The wedding was a beautiful, expensive and elegant day. Very you and Jaehyun. You celebrated the day with close friends, family and work associates, and you could never in a million years have dreamed of how magical the day was. Now, here you are sat where you and Jaehyun’s second chapter began, on the couch in the office, looking out at the beautiful view of the city. 

“Good to be back?” Jaehyun questions, as you lay your head on his shoulder, his arm wrapped around you. 

“Very good” you reply squeezing his free hand. 

“Who would have thought this would be our life, huh?” Jaehyun states, a lazy smile on his face, mind replaying all the memories you’ve made together. 

“I know” you sigh contently, “who would have thought?” 

“I love you Ms Jung”

“I love you too Mr Jung” 

With that Jaehyun leans in and presses a gentle kiss on your lips, which ends up turning into a slightly more heated make out session. Jaehyun hums in satisfaction as he brings one hand to squeeze your covered boob, causing you to pull away. 

“My Jung” you dramatically gasp, “that’s not very professional of you”

[morganayenneferburnham]

Have I Known You 20 Seconds or 20 Years? – Nikolai Lantsov Series

Chapter 1: Devils Roll the Dice, Angels Roll their Eyes

https://archiveofourown.org/works/33661984/chapters/83654680

A very short summary: Y/N has been working with the crows for a few years. Her life feels complete until she meets the insufferable Nikolai Lantsov. She finds herself forced to work with the King of Ravka on one of Kaz Brekker's crazy schemes.

Nikolai Lantsov. King of Ravka. He was privateer extraordinaire Sturmhond?

Word count: 2k

A/N:  So I wrote my first fic! Hopefully at least one person likes it! I just posted the first chapter today. The second one should follow somewhat soon ☺️I’m currently writing the third chapter!

Chapter 1: Devils Roll the Dice, Angels Roll their Eyes

Nikolai Lantsov. King of Ravka. He was privateer extraordinaire Sturmhond?

Y/N couldn’t quite believe it. She had been a fan of him for years. Asking for the latest news on the voyages of the Volkvolny and its captain every chance she got. They were legendary. When Kaz had told her a few days prior that Sturmhond was going to be with them for a job she had barely been able to contain her excitement. Now, she was mortified. How could she work with a king?

Had she not been standing next to Kaz during the meeting she’d never have believed it.

“How long have you known, Kaz? I mean, I know you’ve worked with him before but…” her voice trailed off in a question.

“I figured it out when we first met.” His mind traveled back to that day. Meeting the privateer by the Geldrenner hotel’s baths, just a few years ago. They had been trying to save Kuwei Yul-Bo, a Shu inferni who’d had the misfortune of being the son of the fabrikator who created Jurda Parem, making him the most valuable hostage in the world. They had auctioned him off, faked his death, and gotten revenge on Jan Van Eck all at the same time. “The king of Ravka wouldn’t just let anyone represent his country in important matters. The fact that he always travels with at least one member of the Triumvirate doesn’t help him keep his identity secret either.” He scoffed. “He really should stop doing that.” Kaz sounded almost… annoyed?

“I take it you’ve given him that particular piece of advice and he didn’t listen?” She smirked. “Though, you know, I’m glad Zoya Nazyalenski tagged along. She is even more gorgeous than I thought.”

“He never listens. Almost as stubborn as you.” He huffed. The glare he gave her would’ve been enough to scare most people, however, she was not most people. She considered Kaz family, and she knew that Kaz did too, in his own way. They had both lost siblings to the city after all. She had joined his crew a few months after they had lost Matthias and Nina had gone back to Ravka. He had needed a new corporalnik and she had made fast friends with Inej, Jesper, and Wylan. As much as Kaz had tried to keep the young tailor at arm’s length, she had found a way to worm herself into his cold guarded heart. His look softened before he continued. “You should steer clear of her. She’s just as icy as she appears. Wouldn’t want you to get your heart broken before the job.” That was his way of showing he cared.

“Don’t worry, Kaz, I’m not looking to marry her. Maybe she’d be open to a bit of fun?” She laughed, throwing her long auburn hair over her shoulder, and made her way back to Jesper and Wylan down the corridor.

---

A few days had passed since they’d met with Sturmhond. He and Zoya had temporarily moved into the slat. Kaz had been cooped up in his office, wearing his scheming face most of that time. Everyone could tell Kaz’s plan was going to involve multiple steps and deceptions.

Since they hadn’t been working any other jobs, the crows had been left to their own devices for the first time in months. Kaz occasionally called on them for their expertise, but they had a lot more downtime than they were used to. They had taken advantage of it to get to know their new teammates. Y/N had mostly struck out with Zoya, though she had managed to make her laugh a few times, to everyone’s surprise. Maybe with more time, she’d have a small chance with Zoya? The young grisha had also tried to wrap her head around the identity of her favourite privateer. She now found herself sitting in Kaz’s office, Jesper and Wylan on her right and Sturmhond and Zoya on her left. Kaz looked all business, so serious she feared he’d give himself an aneurysm.

“I need you to tailor him. Once you’re done, you’ll tailor yourself.” Kaz nodded in Sturmhond’s direction sitting behind his cluttered desk, hands resting on his crow’s head cane.

Y/N looked up at Inej who had been sitting at Kaz’s window. “May I ask why? Hasn’t he already been tailored?” She gestured to the privateer before returning her hand to her lap. “He doesn’t look like the king of Ravka.”

Kaz rolled his eyes. “Why must you always question me?” He sighed. “Yes, he has been tailored, nonetheless, he is too easily recognizable as Sturmhond. I need you both to look like rich Kaelish merchants. It shouldn’t be too hard for you?”

“Of course not. You know there’s nothing I can’t do, Brekker.” She replied in Kaelish. She softened her tone before continuing in Kerch. “I’m simply asking you to share your brilliant scheme with us mere mortals” Her voice was laced with sarcasm. Inej stifled a laugh. It looked like the Suli girl couldn’t help but smile at the other’s antics.

Kaz groaned. “Fine, I’ll share my plan for the job. It’d be easier if you just listened. I’ll explain it once so pay attention – Jesper!” Poor Jesper jumped on his chair. He’d been staring at Sturmhond since they’d all entered the office. Y/N couldn’t blame him. The privateer did have an inexplicable charm despite his tailored features.

“Yes, Boss!” Jesper straightened in his chair and sent an apologetic look to Wylan.

“Alright, to pull this one off we’ll need blueprints that can only be found in Gert Van Verent’s safe. He keeps his office under lock and key – ”

“Wait, you want us to break into a councilman’s house, again? Why can’t you do it Kaz? You’re the best at picking locks.”

“Well, if you hadn’t interrupted me” he was glaring daggers at her now, his eyes the hue of bitter coffee “you’d know that two guards are posted outside his office, at all times” he’d emphasized the last part and raised a hand to stop Y/N from interrupting him again “and his windows are protected behind steel bars.” Y/N nodded once slowly indicating she was willing to listen with no more interruptions.

“Van Verent is throwing a party in the hopes of finding his eldest daughter a husband. Being a devout Kerch merchant, he is also using the occasion to find new business ventures. The party is our window of opportunity. That-” he gestured to her and Sturmhond “is where you two come in. Ainsley and Eoin Ó Ceallaigh, newlyweds from the Wandering Isle, looking to extend your exporting business to Kerch. I already secured your invitation” Y/N felt her jaw drop. No sound came out. All she could do was stare at Kaz. He had finally lost it. He wanted her and the king of Ravka to assume false identities and pretend to be married? Dirtyhands had gone mad.

Wylan was the one who voiced her concern. “Kaz? I know Y/N’s a talented tailor and well she is Kaelish so that part’s covered but, well, um, no disrespect Sturm-, Sir? Your Highness? But, um, do you speak Kaelish?”

The king smiled. He looked amused at Wylan’s confusion. He replied in perfect unaccented Kaelish “Call me Nikolai, it will make for less confusing conversation. Of course, I speak Kaelish, I have been educated in 6 languages. I also had a fondness for Kaelish poetry in my youth.”

Everyone seemed to relax at that. However, Y/N could tell she was going to need Jesper’s help to undo the knots in her shoulders later that night. “Kaz? I don’t think I’m that great of an actress… You also haven’t told us how we’re supposed to get the plans if we do get in.”

“Don’t worry darling, I’m sure we’ll manage. I’m talented enough for the both of us” Nikolai winked at her. Nikolai, who just so happened to be the privateer she had admired for years. She felt her cheeks flush. Saints, she thought, this is going to be a nightmare.

“Jesper and Wylan have also been invited to the party thanks to Wylan’s new position on the merchant’s council.” She had never been more grateful to Kaz for overlooking the interruptions. “They’ll cause a distraction, with Nazyalenski’s help, to let you and Nikolai slip past the guards and break into Van Verent’s office.” He stopped and looked at Y/N. “I know you can pick the lock and crack the safe. I trained you myself after all.”

The discussions and planning continued well into the night. Y/N wasn’t convinced it was such a good plan, but everyone else seemed on board so she kept her mouth shut. All she could do now was make sure to memorize all she could before the job. The party was two days away, which didn’t give them much time to learn all they could about their characters. Kaz had instructed Nikolai and Y/N to spend every waking moment working together to make sure they made a believable couple.

Twelve hours in, Y/N was cursing herself for saying she wasn’t a great actress. If she’d only pretended to be confident in her acting abilities, she might have been allowed to take a break from the insufferable king. Well, insufferable might have been a little dramatic but the man loved himself way too much. They had memorized their stories in the first 8 hours and were now being quizzed by Wylan and Jesper while she started tailoring them both, yet the King would not stop flirting with her. He also made sure to touch her every chance he got. A brush of his fingers on her cheek, of his knuckles on hers, twirling a strand of her hair around his finger. She knew it was just harmless fun for him. It was driving her completely mad. She just wanted him to take the job seriously.

“How did he propose?” Wylan asked for the third time in the past two hours.

Y/N sighed and moved her fingers through Nikolai’s hair to darken it. “It was incredibly romantic. He had planned a picnic by the lake where we met.” Her cheeks were already starting to hurt from the plastered smile on her face.

“I had all of her favourite foods, of course” Nikolai interjected, moving to softly caress the girl’s cheek.

Y/N had to restrain herself from slapping his hand away. “Yes, even strawberries, in winter! Can you believe it? Once the sun began to set, he dropped to one knee and pulled the ring from the picnic basket with a bouquet of winter roses. I’m so lucky to have fallen in love with such an attentive and caring man.” She turned to Kaz who had been observing them, leaning against the doorframe, and dropped the smile from her lips. “Was that satisfactory, Boss?”

Kaz shrugged. “It’d be better if you didn’t look like you wanted to stab him every time he touches you.”

Y/N released a breath. “Maybe if you’d let me take a break...” her tone was pleading.

Kaz smiled at that. He was finally wearing her down. Giving her a taste of what she’d put him through the last two years felt like sweet justice to him. He liked the girl well enough, but she had a way of getting on his nerves. He took no pity on her. “You’ll keep going until I actually believe you are in love with him.” He left the room with a pointed look at her.

Zoya released an amused laugh. “I’m just glad Nikolai found someone else to bother for a change.” She smiled smugly at Y/N. “Don’t worry, he’s mostly harmless. Just come find me if he gets too handsy, I’ll put him in his place for you.”

Y/N couldn’t believe it. Zoya had definitely sent her a wink before following behind Kaz. Maybe all her flirting had paid off?

“Sweetheart, I’m hurt, you are taking more interest in my general than in your own handsome husband.” Nikolai’s tone was toeing the line between mock hurt and amused.

She turned back to the three men in front of her. “Jesper, please, just shoot me.”

[i-need-air]

Oh-- I really really -really- liked your wolf hybrid Bakugou and-- if you don't mind, can you do one on Kirishima? Just the general headcanons, if this is too bothersome then you can ignore this once again- thank you

Just general headcanons you say? Okay, I had this written 2k words in before I got this ask and now it's at... ehem, let me take a deep breath for this;

Word count: 3.5k 💀 [of HCs 💀💀💀]

Why do I keep doing this to myself aksdjkd I love Kiri so much, my god! Thanks for the ask!! 💗

[ Masterlist ]

Hybrid!AU Kirishima Eijirou HCs

× i mentioned him as a dog hybrid and we're sticking with it because it just feels right, yano? anyway!

× you found out about how the new hybrid shelter in your city helped bust a fighting ring

× which was horrifying to think about

× one of your friends explained the process to you and you were definitely interested in helping someone out

× shelters were still underfunded and didn't provide much to help the hybrids adapt to society

× so you found yourself in front of the shelter without a plan

× just a dream and a spare couch that could thankfully convert into a bed

× before you could chicken out you stormed through the doors like a mad person, catching the attention of the guards and the front desk man

× it surprised you how disinterested they were though; were they seriously the people that dismantled a whole illegal fighting ring?

× they called a sweet old lady to accompany you

× when you explained your situation her eyes sparkled, looking you up and down and nodding her head

× she took you through some hallways, showing you around the precinct, questioning you about what type of hybrid you'd want

× to which you honestly didn't know how to respond, like anyone you could help????

× it kinda pissed you off how she spoke about the hybrids like they were pets, suggesting you'd get a kitty or a bunny, since [her words] they were low maintenance

× is this really a good shelter?

× you looked around, finding prison like cells left and right, some with people that looked at you curiously, some covering from your glance

× they were locked in...

× some growling could be heard far away but the woman shook her head at you, disapproving gaze turned to the side as she took you further into the building

× another room, this time cells were bigger, a few occupied, yet covered from you, indiferent and uninterested

× a man was sitting on the edge of the bed, hands in his hair

× "Kirishima, boy, get up to greet someone"

× his red eyes snapped up, whatever he was thinking about slowly forgotten

× he blinked curiously as you hugged your frame, feeling uncomfortable, even ashamed to be there

× but a sweet smile took over his features

× "Hey! I'm Kirishima Eijirou!"

× it's really all it took for you to grow fond of him; he got up and came closer to the entrance of the cell and introduced himself in such easy-going manner you forgot about everything and anything

× he calmed you with his presence, even if it was very disheveled, with old ripped clothes and hair messy, painted red with obvious dark roots showing

× he had a black fluffy tail waving slowly behind him too

× you introduce yourself with his encouragement and mumbled how you wanted to help someone out today

× he just smiled at you, taking you in

× let me tell you something about dog hybrids: they can sense emotions and intentions so Kiri would be a very good judge of character and he really, genuinely took a liking on you

× the problem is how the fuck do you say out loud that you wanted to help him out

× because you sure as hell weren't going to say you'd adopt him; he's not a child? we're talking about a grown ass man here? literally looked like 6'4ft/1.95m?????

× it was so shameful, your gut turned as you cursed society and he sensed it, expression changing, falling a little as he saw you look very out of place

× "Hey, hey, everything's gonna be fine!" he said

× he told YOU that

× instead of YOU telling HIM those words;;; you almost burst into ugly crying, forgetting about everything else, your minuscule problems or shame or whatever and just nodded at him

× "Would you like to come home with me, Kirishima?" you said, ignoring the happy clapping the old lady was doing, watching carefully how his expression, clear as water, switched from easy-going and reassuring to shocked then hopeful

× "I'd like that" he breathed out "—a lot."

× as you went out the lady was telling him it was a shame they separated his group of friends, something about being sent to different shelters, how he had to be a good boy, to behave, yada-yada and seriously;;; he was taking it so lightheartedly, as if he was so used to this behavior or even was thankful for it?

× it was starting to get annoying, specially when they gave you a collar for him, like no fucking thanks, but you'd take care of it later

× since it was very random and unplanned, you were making mental gymnastics to figure out what to get and what to do first, like clothes, food—

× journey home was pleasant as he walked close to you, asking you questions about yourself with a gentle smile on his features

× meanwhile people got out of both your ways because he was intimidating and big and large but his smile screamed sunshine

× all while he never really mentioned anything about himself

× you made a point to ask him if he was hungry, to grab a quick bite at any restaurant you could get at then go buy some clothes and necessities

× you were so casual and this guy was so shocked

× i swear, looks at you blinking stupidly then ✨beams✨

× spoiler alert; big boy was hungry

× it didn't matter honestly, just seeing him eat without a worry [even if everyone at the restaurant was wary of him but got a stink eye from you] was a relief

× since you answered his questions about you, you decided to ask some about him; you were going to be roomies soon so might as well get to know each other

× shocked again

× stops mid-bite when you ask him something and stares wide-eyed

× doesn't answer but you can see he wants to and you're confused??

× "did I—... did I say something wrong?" you'd press, scared you'd spook him away or something

× he just gulps down and looks ashamed

× casually tells you they've been told at the shelter owners don't care about them

× 🙃 say what now bby?

× he kinda starts apologizing because he understands why you wouldn't wanna know and you put your hand on his; kinda mutes him for a second

× "Kirishima, we're gonna live together and hopefully be friends in the process, right? I'd like to know about you, as much as you're willing to tell me"

× [ falls in love right then and there ]

× he's met humans before, many actually—

× even in the short weeks he's been at the shelter he's seen people come and go and none talked to him like you did

× stares with stars in his eyes and chuckles awkwardly, blush on his face

× "You're really nice, [Y/N]" he said before eagerly answering your questions; course, it leaves you confused lmfao but you brush past it

× okay! shopping next, long story short it was very hard to find hybrid clothes for his size so you pick to change human clothes and adjust them for him

× as you again mention this stuff casually he's just awestruck

× when you got home, bags in hand, you were explaining to him how you really didn't have much; you were working to get a promotion soon but for now you had a couch that could open up into a very comfy bed, which he assured you it was enough

× you were lowkey unsure if he fit it because like i mentioned, big boi is big

× he does! so that's a relief but you started considering giving him your bed; you mostly fell asleep on the couch anyway and to be fair, it was really comfortable and you mention it as he looks around

× his head snaps at you, wide eyed, yet does not talk

× so you ramble bc that's something fun to do! "I mean I went to the shelter without a plan and uh, I want you to feel as comfortable as possible and maybe the bed is a better fit and—"

× Kirishima Eijirou sees: 💕💞💕💞💕💞💕

× has never been treated like this, like he's an... equal... something he'll take months to share with you, but we're getting ahead of ourselves

× the thing is this boy will fall pretty hard pretty fast, but will definitely take time to make a move

× bc he is respectful

× so he thanks you for the offer and tells you it's probably the best place he slept in all his life

× can your heart stop breaking for him? i mean it's a good couch but it's no luxury hotel bed???

× [ we need to pause, OP made herself sad ]

× ok, so he's really helpful around the house, and he knows how to cook!

× takes no time to talk about his friends, special his best friend that cooked for everyone at the fighting ring and forced them all to help and that's how he was pretty decent at cooking himself

× wasn't the best though, but followed instructions like a boss

× he lives for your compliments

× literally his tail wiggles with no shame

× seriously;; tell him he did a good job even at the dumbest thing and—

× puffs chest

× wiggle-wiggle

× "Thanks!"

× 🥺💕💞 make him stop, he's so cute

× did i mention he has like floppy black ears? Omg his earsssssssssshnnngggggggggg

× because they move whenever he walks and they're mesmerizing

× and one day that you're observing them for science [not because your heart was like 💘pom-pom💘] you noticed his roots

× remember when your heart broke for him? hah, have some more because as you asked him, he started telling you that he was pushed into dying his hair red for the spectacle, diversity and what-not

× reassured you he grew to love it now, being part of who he is

× also gets a little bit shy when adding he wouldn't want to change the color in hopes of finding his friends someday and for him to be easily recognizable

× you bought him hair dye that same day

× WHICH! apart from gaining extra 🥺💕💞 from him, it created a nice routine between you two!!

× you offered to dye his hair and it was such a great time; he made you laugh, conversation going just as easy whenever you talked, you got to know each other a little bit more and—

× heh

× at the end, after applying all the red hair dye, you massaged his scalp gently

× guess who melts in your hands? yes, giant ass dog-man melts into a puddle under your hands and it's the cutest fucking thing you've ever seen

× I'm serious, he sighs and leans into your gloved hands with zero [0] shame, eyes closed and peaceful expression on his features apart from a small smile

× you tease him and he laughs it off, but promise him you'd give him head scratches when he was finished with the dye, washed off and hair dry

× and you better deliver

× "Don't think I forgot!" he'd say as he'd hop on his make-shift bed in the living room by your side, tail moving from side to side

× as you start playing with his locks, he falls into your lap and starts snoring

× move an inch and he opens his eyes to look at you confused

× puppy eyes questioning you if you're leaving 🥺

× yep, you fall asleep together

× you point out to yourself that those puppy eyes will be the death of you

× he's a touchy guy, okay? since he's been touchy with you from the very start you never questioned it, even read on the internet that many hybrids descended from house pets need physical affection, like hugs, pats, scratches, all the bag, so it wasn't a big deal for you

× except it was a big deal because he's been around for a month and you're already catching feelings and that's bad because you did not bring him there to fall for him but to help him start a new life and—

× oh my god, what if he thought you were one of those people from the horror stories about hybrid adoption that only wanted them for one thing—

× no, no, no, nO, NO.

× anxiety was getting to you as the guilt of catching feelings for him, plus the fact that he was financially dependant on you for the time which would've made it even worse if he found out, PLUS he comes from such a rough life, he definitely needs a break and doesn't need his first human friend in forever to be a piece of;;;

× Kiri catches on this really constant and increasing feeling of anxiety; he starts to send you worried glances but doesn't know how to proceed

× in such a soft voice he asks if you're okay, if something is on your mind

× and since you weren't sharing anything but acted as if everything was alright even when he felt you lied, Kiri started to get worried too

× why were you anxious? why weren't you talking to him about it?

× oh, god, was he a burden? because he felt like one;;; did you want him out? he felt like an extra weight for you and wanted to do something about it but maybe you got sick of him? he felt unmanly...

× the fact that he knew he cared about you as more than just a friend made him even more anxious and it didn't help that whenever he touched you he heard your breath hitch or your heart beating louder; he got his hopes up then down because

× you smelled like people; people he didn't know, people he wanted to know because he needed to know why did you smell like them? were they a treat? were they potential partners? he really did not want to ask bc Kirishima felt like it wasn't his place to know

× as tension grew in the house you decided to gift him a new phone, ready to give him some news that reached your ears

× it seems Kiri himself liked to do sports and mainly jog to keep himself active and he's started to pass by the local dog-park to play with the dogs

× imagine your surprise when a few neighbors asked you if he'd be willing to train their dogs bc he's been teaching them stuff like once a week and the dogs listened

× big time dog whisperer; he says "Sit" to one dog and all dogs in the neighborhood sit too, you get me?

× so you said it would be nice for him to have his own money; not like you didn't help him without care, but you saw his face every time you bought something for him and really felt like he needed some real independence

× he's in ✨awe✨ because you came up with clients already that were very eager for dog training sessions, which he loved??? and suggested hours, wages??????

× and you gave him this new phone to help him with it if he's interested too?

× "Well, the normal price on the internet around the area is—"

× "[Y/N]."

× "Hmm?"

× "You're really amazing, you know that, right?" he'd have his lips curled into a sweet smile

× which makes your heart go crazy and this man notices how you get flustered

× loves it

× get ready for compliments; a lot of compliments just expecting your sweet flustered reactions

× he's slow at realizing your feelings for him because he beats himself down and seems himself as less of a man but tests the waters nonetheless and a d o r e s every time you struggle to thank him for said compliments and don't know how to continue functioning

× catches on and gets his hopes up

× and so you do

× listen, this is hilarious because you're both dumb idiots and want to be respectful towards the other meanwhile he hugs you tighter and for a little bit too long, loving how you melt into him, kisses you on the cheek and sees you get all flustered, looks at you like you're the only one to ever matter until you stop talking, turning everything into a giant mess of silence until you both grin at each other???? I'm getting second-hand embarrassment, just kiss???????

× and it happened with an accidental kiss

× you greeted him as he walked through the door, excited to tell him about your promotion, rambling about the take-out you ordered while he smiled at you

× and it started to be usual for you to greet him with a kiss on the cheek, right? just what normal roomies do, you know [mhmm~]

× he's taking his shoes off and knows the kiss is coming, but just before you press it on his cheek you whisper/squeal "I got the promotion!" to which he turns his head in surprise at you making your lips press together by accident [mhhhmmmmm~~~]

× cue both of you apologizing, looking like a mess

× he's blushing

× you both loved it

× why are you standing so close to each other?

× why did he lick his lips in daze while staring at yours?

× which one of you was leaning in for another kiss?

× it didn't really matter because he's kissing you slowly, taking you into his arms like you were made of porcelain

× glues his body to yours and breathes you in, lips locked, neither believing it was real

× lifts you up in his arms with no difficulty and smiles, both inches separated from another; "Congratulations..." his breath would fan over your face;;;;

× yeah, okay, he takes no time to confess, resulting in a mess of manly words skdjekldj you guys talked that whole night while cuddling and stealing kisses, you on his lap

× [ his nose brushing your neck; he loves your scent omg ]

× it becomes official pretty much instantly and then all your worries wash away

× all the anxiety, all the stress and overthinking, they've all been sorted out in one night and trust me, afterwards this man is pure honesty and loyalty

× he won't hesitate to talk to you about anything and will be such a patient sweetheart with you, listening to every word you say without judgment

× loves cheesy stuff? as in the most cliché stuff seen in movies? that's his shit right there; whenever you two see each other after some time apart [sometimes 5 minutes apart] he'd pick you in his arms and spin you around, then expect you to kiss him

× if you don't, i will skfjdkfk step aside 👀

× skin contact; please, touch him

× if you're not he sends you those famous puppy eyes and we all know they're killer

× sighs, happy to hold you tight against him, engulfing you into his big frame; yeah, you're where you belong, in his arms.

× everyone in the neighborhood loves him; it's ridiculous, seriously, because you find out he helped around all the time when you were at work and gained everyone's love

× makes an instagram account to teach people how to train their dog and becomes an internet sensation, a small celebrity

× also bc he's hot and sometimes posts working out pics

× skdksjs imagine this: makes dinner for both of you, lits up some candles, goes all in, then fucking posts it on ig saying "waiting for my baby to come home #surprise" forgetting you can see it lmfao

× you see the story on your way home and 🥺💞 "ye i love his oblivious ass"

× soft gasps when you tell him after dinner

× has the audacity to be surprised, like babe????

× Kaminari finds him through social media and this baby cries in relief for a good half an hour

× both team up to find all the gang

× guess who talks praises about you all the time? mhm, this guy right here is proud to have you

× and Denki has to deal with it;

× anywho! want to break him for good? tell him you love him for the first time

× GETS. SO. EXCITED. AND. EMOTIONAL.

× but forgets how to speak

× finds his words to say it back after staring at you entranced, grinning like an idiot, taking you in his arms and giving you a bone crushing hug while shaking in place

× he's never felt this loved and adores every second of it

× you're like a drug and he's deep gone, man

× tells you he loves you every single day

[wonderful-wells-writing]

Fanclub; Chapter 1

EoWells x Reader

Some of the STAR Labs employees have a secret fanclub where they discuss Harrison Wells and share pictures they take when they think he isn't looking. Problem is it's not quite as secret as they think it is. The man himself seems to have taken an interest in the the little group, finding it to be the perfect place to find willing partners to satisfy his needs. And you're his next pick.

Work is dying down for the evening at STAR Labs. Chemists are checking that all the storage units are set to the proper temperatures. Engineers are making sure that everything that needs to be powered down is. Lab techs are cleaning up their stations. But nearly everybody is discussing their plans for the weekend.

There is one worker who is not engaging in such conversations. You are currently crammed between two sections of machinery, determined to get this wiring finished before leaving for the day. That way, Monday, bright and early your team can start doing test runs.

You are not engaging in conversation with others but rather are talking to yourself as you work. “Some red over here, blue wire over there.” Your grin would light up the room if anybody could see it. “I just love when a color-coded array comes together.” There’s a buzz on your right butt-cheek, and you squeal in surprise.

“Everything alright in there?” One of the other scientists looks up from the desk.

“Yeah, Bri,” you extract yourself from the machine parts. “My phone just went off, and I thought something shocked me.”

“Girl, I can not tell you how often that happens to me,” Bri takes her purse from a drawer and a jacket off the chair. “So, what are your plans for the weekend. More number crunching?”

You pull your phone from your back pocket. “Actually my college roommate is having a bachelorette party tonight. So I said I would swing by the bar for a bit.”

“Sounds fun,” Bri gives a wave before heading to the door. “Don’t party too hard.”

She returns the wave before opening a group chat app on her phone to see what the notification is about.

KittyCat42; O.M.G did you see Dr. Wells today? a shirt THAT tight can not be workplace appropriate!!!

Attached is a photo taken from a smartphone at an angle in which the subject does not seem to be aware their picture is being taken. Dr. Harrison Wells is leaning over a desk, examining something on a monitor. Kitty is right; his shirt is very tight, his biceps bulge through the long black sleeves.

You grin, considering sending a reply, but another message comes in first.

YummyBitch73; Think he’s got plans? Looking that good, he’s got to be going out tonight.

Your thumbs move across the screen to type a quick response.

BabyDoll14; Maybe he has a date tonight?

KittyCat42; wonder who the lucky girl is?

You lean against a nearby workbench, smirking at the screen.

---

On the other side of the lab, somebody picks up their phone to check the barrage of notifications coming in. They chuckle before adding their own two cents.

Speedy22: Hey, who knows, it could be a lucky guy.

YummyBitch73: Oh you wish, he is a lady killer through and through

BabyDoll14: I mean, who are we to judge if it’s a lucky lady or gent. Maybe he swings one way, maybe he swings both ways. Who cares, we’re just here to talk about his ass behind his back.

“Speedy’ nods, almost respecting the woman on the other side of the screen for staying objective about objectifying her boss.

Speedy22: Speaking of ass, I got this one yesterday

He opens his gallery and scrolls until an ‘appropriate picture is found. A nice shot of Dr. Wells from behind; the quality is incredible for a smartphone shot. The man’s shirt is riding up, showing a nice strip of the skin of his back, even a bit of where his boxers rise above the waistband of his hands.

YummyBitch73: Damn Speedy, you always get the good ones. You’ll have to teach me some photography lessons sometime.

KittyCat42: what kind of camera are you using? The quality is so gooooood.

“Hey,” a woman’s voice draws his attention away from his device. “Are you staying late again tonight?”

Harrison Wells takes a breath to look her up and down, mentally running through his mind all the employees to try and remember who it is at his office door. “I’ll be headed out soon; I just have to wrap some things up.”

He recalls who she is when he sees the look she’s giving him. Brianna Masters, a specialist working down in Lab C. She would have had to go out of her way to get to his office before leaving. Self-proclaimed president of the Dr. Wells Fanclub, he had just been interacting with the group chat of; after the former president left with a job offer at Mercury Labs. She had been making goo-goo eyes at him since her interview three months ago.

“Well,” Bri twirls a curl of her hair, fluttering her eyelashes. “Harrison, you know I was wondering if you might like to take me out to get some drinks tonight?”

Dr. Wells tries to hide his displeasure at the thought. She wasn’t his type, physically, mentally, emotionally, “I have plans in the morning that require a clear head. Miss. Masters. Now is there anything of importance that you need?” The man was not adverse to flights of fancy to pass the time; he wouldn’t be keeping an eye on the little Fanclub of his if he wasn’t willing to look for ‘interested parties,’ but this particular woman has been of no real interest to him.

For reasons such as how she pouts at his response, “Well, having fun is important.” She mutters before wandering off down the hall, turning her attention to her phone.

YummyBitch73; holy Shit! He just asked me out for drinks. It sucks so much that I have to drive out to Coast City; I”d have taken him up in a heartbeat otherwise.

----

Back in Lab C, you finally finish with the maintenance on the machine. You check your phone once more while heading over to the desk and nearly cackle at what you’re reading. Everybody knows that Bri is full of shit, but there’s no point in calling it out and causing discourse.

You mute the phone to focus on your computer. While humming a quiet tune, you work on moving files to the USB stick plugged into the monitor.

“Fuck,” you whisper, seeing the download time in comparison to the clock on the screen. Of course, you could just leave it be, take the weekend off. It’s not like you get paid extra to run calculations at home.

17 minutes later

“Nonononono, wait, please!” You’re half running to the street as the bus pulls away, leaving you in the illuminated circle of a streetlamp, cursing yourself. That was going to be the last bus coming this way for the night. If you walk home, you’ll never make it in time to change for the party. You might not even make the event at all. You pace up and down the sidewalk, contemplating your options.

A car pulls up beside you, tinted window rolling down, “Need a lift?”

You stop, shocked, “Oh, no I…” you pause, looking through the window, “Dr. Wells, hi...hey.” You swallow your pride. “I would really love to get a ride on-with, with you.” Internally you cringe at how that came out, but figure he probably wouldn’t have heard such a minor slip.

The lock clicks open, and you reach for the door.

“Maple Apartments on South 11th street, right?” Harrison glances at you as you get in the car.

You pause before shutting the door, “do I want to know how you know that?”

He laughs, and you jump a bit at it, “I can see how that would sound a little suspicious.” His smile is reassuring, and his blue eyes are kind behind his glasses. “It was on your registration forms when you started. I enter new employee data myself. Total recall can be useful even for small matters.”

You breathe a sigh of relief, shutting the door and buckling in. “I really appreciate this Dr. Wells, I would have been so late tonight if I didn’t get home to change soon.”

“Bit plans tonight?” Harrison asks as he starts driving. Truth is he had suspected you’d be missing her bus. He had seen you running after the last bus or driven past you walking home numerous times out his way out. You had quite the habit of working until the absolute last moment.

You smile, twiddling your thumbs to keep your hands occupied. “Yeah, I’m meeting a friend at the new bar that opened down the street from my place. She’s getting married soon, and since I can’t make the wedding, I promised I would spend at least a couple hours at her bachelorette party.” You aren’t exactly sure why you’re volunteering this information to your boss. It would be inappropriate to be so casual with him; then again, it’s also inappropriate to be part of a Fanclub that secretly takes pictures of him and talks about how great his ass looks.

Harrison ‘hmms’ in thought. “Why can’t you make it to the wedding?” He glances at you out of the corner of his eye, taking a moment to take in the way you sit, act, look, before returning his eyes to the road.

“Oh, they scheduled it for a Wednesday, so,” you look towards him just moments after he looks away. The first thing you notice is his hair; whenever you’ve seen him in the morning, it’s perfectly combed and straight, but it seems like as the day went on, it began to take on a life of its own. While the back is still nice and neat, the front is sticking out in all kinds of directions.

“You could have asked for the day off,” Dr. Wells offers, “Am I such a terrible boss that you think I”d deny you some vacation after all your hard work?”

You feel a heat rise to your cheeks at what seems to be a compliment to her work ethic, “Oh no, I don’t think that at all. It’s just that, well, we have so much work to do. Every day we get a little closer to your dreams of the particle accelerator, and I want to contribute absolutely everything I can to that dream.” You smile. “You’re going to do such incredible things for the world of science Dr. Wells, and I don’t want to waste any time that could be spent helping you.”

The man is somewhat stunned by this. He’d attributed her long hours and determination to personal ambition. “What about you? Do you want history to remember you for your achievements?”

You bite your lower lip in thought at the question, “I mean sure, it would be nice to be recognized for my contribution, but,” she takes a deep breath, “I’m more concerned about how my work will impact the world, not so much if I’m remembered for it. Anyways you’re the true genius. I can tell that STAR Labs will make big changes and put humanity on a path towards the future. As long as I get to be a part of that, it’s all I really need.”

Harrison does a low chuckle at your sentiment, amused by the naivety. You speak with such hope and wonder and admiration. If you knew the truth, how horrified would you be? The realization of the end goal of the particle accelerator, the effects across history that your determination would wreak.

He grins, “Well, I am glad to have such a dedicated employee, but I do believe that one off day is not going to hurt our progress.”

You purse your lips, “You don’t come down to Lab C very often; you’d be surprised how off the rails things can go when I’m not there. Anyways I would rather work than go to a wedding. It’s not my kind of scene.”

He can sense that you are holding something back but doesn’t press the issue any further. He’s reached your apartment building anyways.

“If you change your mind, I’ll be more than happy to give you the time off,” he says as he parks.

“I’ll keep that in mind,” you reach for the door handle, “oh, and thank you so much for the ride. I really owe you one.”

Dr. Wells makes a mental note about cashing in that favor later. “You just stay safe and enjoy yourself tonight.” He smiles warmly at you as you wave goodbye, but when the door shuts, his grin turns a bit darker. He watches you walk away, eyes tracing the curve of your figure, resting on the beautiful shape of your rear, right up until you disappear into your building.

As he begins to drive away, he catches sight of himself in the rearview mirror. There is something about this form of his that seems to drive the ladies crazy, and he wasn’t opposed to taking advantage of that. While pulling back into the street and driving away, he thinks on his situation.

For 13 years now, Eobard Thawne has been trapped in this god-forsaken time period. For a while, he had focused solely on his mission, rarely interacting with others unless it served a greater purpose. But he was still a man, subject to desire. At first, it was almost enough to make him regret allowing Harrison Well’s wife to die, she could have filled his needs easily. But that woman had been intelligent; she’d have discovered his identity eventually, so allowing her to die had been for the best.

Still, after a few years of isolation, Thawne had found the need unbearable and began seeing ways to fill the hole that was forming in his chest. Little flings, one-off nights where he indulged his carnal side, allowed himself the pleasure of another’s body before quickly parting ways with them, when he discovered that a fanclub devoted to him had been formed amongst his employees, that made the whole thing easier.

Joining the group chat under a false name was easy enough. It inflated his ego every time he read them discussing how great they thought he looked, and he was more than happy to provide material for them to gush over. And with that, it was like he had been given a list of women who would fuck him with no questions asked. All he had to do was choose. Of course, he has to be wary of those who might get too clingy or go off telling other people. But it’s not that hard to week those types out of the pack.

Thawne notices magenta neon as he’s driving. A club with a grand opening sign out front. He smiles, knowing that now not only does he have a new prey lure in, but the perfect hunting ground as well.

[sinner-as-saint]

My Favorite Kind Of Night - 4.

Camboy!Bucky x CEO!Reader

Part 4 of this series

Run-through: On Friday nights, you are punctual to your virtual meet-up with your favorite camboy over a streaming platform, for your private stream session. You’ve known him for a couple of months now. He goes by the alias of ‘Winter Soldier’ on the platform, which is perfect for the kind of man he is; brawny and drop dead gorgeous. Over the past few months, he has become your favorite kind of night. And secretly, you became his as well. You two get closer over time, and things get interesting when your real, professional lives gets intertwined.

Themes throughout the series: sex worker!bucky, smut, phone sex, fluff, language, dirty talk

Sunday morning, Bucky received not so great news.

“Hi James. Uh… I hate to do this but we’re gonna have to reschedule that date. I completely forgot that I have to leave on a short business trip on tomorrow morning at the crack of dawn. And I’ll be back by Wednesday. I’m sorry, it just completely slipped my mind and I blame you for that,” you chuckled. “But um, yeah I’ll make up for it when I get back, I promise. Bye, see you on Wednesday morning. Take care.” You quickly added, “And do miss me, will you?”

Bucky listened to the voicemail when he got back from the gym on Sunday morning, and lifted his head to glance at the clock. It read 11:39.

Well, you must be on your flight already. He had a slight frown on his face, he was so excited for your date tonight, but it seemed that he would have to wait a couple more days now. He quickly sent you a text saying it’s alright and he’ll definitely miss you.

Thing is, he just really wanted to make this work between the two of you. And for that, he wanted to be completely and utterly honest about the whole cam thing. Speaking of which, he thought of his favorite girl. And grabbed his personal phone and sent her a text as well.

You reply didn’t come right away, and he wasn’t bothered by it mainly because he was already thinking of ways how he could make this upcoming date with his boss lady extra special now that he had more days to plan for it.

-

You checked both your phones when you landed. James had texted you on your ‘work’ phone and Bucky on the other. You read both messages one after the other.

James: That’s alright, just come back quickly. And yes, I will miss you, boss.

Bucky: I still owe you a private sesh, no? Let’s do that soon.

You smiled at both texts, replied and went about your packed day.

A conference, a couple of meetings, countless emails and phone calls later; you were a finally free late on Monday night. Your flight back home was schedule at noon on Tuesday so you had quite some time to yourself. You were wide awake at almost midnight and you had nothing to do in your hotel room. You wanted to text or call James but you figured he must be sleeping at this hour.

So you decided to reach out to Bucky. After all, you two did decide to make up for that one session you missed. And he was up for it. And a few minutes later, he was livestreaming and your phone rang. You answered with a smirk and watched him smirk back at you through your screen. Half of his face was covered as usual.

“Hi soldier.” You chirped.

“Hi babygirl.” His reply came through both your computer and your phone. He inched closer to the camera, “Missed me?” he asked. You felt the same tingles at the sound of his words. You put your phone on loud and settled in your comfy bed.

“I did,” you responded. You did miss him to some extent. But not quite like how you missed James. “You have quite a lot to make up for.”

He chuckled, and yet again you tried to ignore how dangerously familiar that laugh of his sounded. “Yeah? Bet you’ve been desperate and needy for me since we missed our last session, huh?” he spoke and stood up to gently lower his sweatpants. So seductively, you almost choked on your own spit. You wondered for a split second, would James ever be that filthy in bed?

“Hmm,” you hummed. “I have.” You said, lying a little because that night you spent with James satisfied you completely. You shook your head slightly and cleared your head. Don’t think about James right now.

“Well then what are we waiting for, babygirl?”

Fuck…

 You were leaning against the headboard, clothes thrown on the floor, your phone right beside you; one hand pinching and twisting your nipple while the other toyed with your clit. Bucky had been edging you for the past few minutes and it was absolute torture. But you couldn’t complain, not when he looked like that.

Naked and sat in his seat with his legs spread apart, his cock in his hand and a vibrator wand moving up and down his length. He moaned and grunted through the screen as well as through the call. You were surrounded by the sinful sounds he made and you shamelessly liked it.

You whined, unable to take it anymore. “Buck… please.” You begged.

He chuckled. “So needy,” he whispered. “Okay babygirl, touch yourself for me. Fill your little cunt with those pretty fingers.” He spoke and stroked himself and moaned wantonly. Oh he was so sensitive as well. “I want you knuckles deep inside yourself while you think about what it would be like to be filled with my big cock.”

You shivered at his words and pushed two of your fingers deep within you. You were dripping, and he could almost hear how wet you were. He growled and stroked himself gently.

“Fuck… I can hear you fucking that wet little cunt, babygirl.” His crude words made you clench around your own fingers. You gasped and kept your eyes focused on him on your screen. “Wish I was there to fill it up.”

Bucky heard the notifications go off multiple times, signaling that he was being tipped generously. 

You whimpered as your fingers moved in and out of you rapidly, your arousal trickling out of you and smearing all over your inner thighs. Bucky kept talking, making you feel more and more lightheaded. “I bet your cunt tastes so sweet, doesn’t it babygirl?” Bucky’s voice was barely above a whisper, so low that your stomach flipped.

You moaned out loud and gasped as your fingers brushed against a sensitive spot inside you. Oh… all you could think about was how deliciously James’ cock had stretched you out multiple times the night you had sex. How thick and big he felt inside you.

“Please…” you begged, fearing that you might blurt out James’ name.

Bucky chuckled, then moaned as he stroked himself faster and pressed the vibrator to the tip of his leaking cock. “Yeah? You wanna cum for me, doll?” he scoffed, and groaned. “Not yet… not yet babygirl. Keep fucking yourself with those pretty fingers, let me hear you moan.”

You whimpered and sped up. Your body was damp and your mind was foggy and the only things you could focus on was your pressing need to orgasm, and James. You whined and begged. “Please… please,” you managed to keep your eyes on him. And how hot he looked when he just touched himself like that… all for you. Would James ever do the same?

“Fuck…” Bucky growled. “I wish I was inside you, babygirl. Deep inside you…” he groaned and pumped himself faster. “Feeling your walls clench around my cock, milking me… gripping me,” he grunted and you let out a loud moan; upon hearing which he cursed under his breath.

“You’d be so good to me, isn’t that right babygirl?” he spoke and it took you a moment to register his words because your mind was foggy and all your senses could focus on was the hot, burning need to come undone.

“Bucky… I’m-,” you cut yourself off by moaning wantonly. You were so close… so close.

“Faster, doll.” His deep voice rang in your ears and you obeyed. You fucked yourself faster. You gasped and thrashed around; moaning loudly, unashamedly. “Good girl.” He whispered again and stroked himself.

You watched him as he stroked himself faster. Moaning, his Adam’s apple bobbing up and down rapidly as he took himself higher. Bucky swore when he heard the wet sounds as you fingered yourself at his request. You were gasping and moaning and taking yourself higher and higher…

“Cum for me, babygirl. Cum all over your pretty fingers for me…” he gasped and groaned as he felt his own release approaching.

You whined, slipping your finger in and out of your wet hole rapidly. Your own touch took you higher…and higher… and you were on the edge; right on the edge…

Bucky threw his head back and sped up, he was so close…

And then the two of you finished together;

“Oh fuck… James!” you cried out and came all over your fingers.

“Y/N… fuck!” Bucky came; gasping and moaning.

Then both of you realized what the other said. And you both froze. Did he just-

 Bucky was quiet. Chest heaving and mind a little hazy. Did he hear that right? Did you just-

 “What did you say?” you both asked one another simultaneously. And you both froze again.

Shit. Shit. Shit.

Bucky moved quickly to end the livestream and you shut your laptop at the same time then hurried to end the call. And you sat there in bed, naked and hazy from your orgasm. Your face felt hot.

What the hell just happened? And why did Bucky panic as much as you did? And how did he know your name? Or was that just a coincidence? There could be other Y/Ns in the world, right?

In the back of your head, you sort of figured out what was really happening, and what had been happening all along – but you were in denial. James couldn’t be Bucky. Right?

But the long dark hair, the same laugh… no. It couldn’t be, right?

So the hot employee of yours which you were beginning to catch feelings for, is also the hot sex-god you’ve been having private cam sessions with for months? How was that possible? Also, instead of being embarrassed; why were you lowkey excited?

 -

Bucky was equally confused. He sat there in his seat with confusion all over his face. His cheeks flushed and his mind going a mile and hour. What the hell just happened? Maybe you knew another ‘James’. He sort of figured out what was going on as well, but he refused to believe it. Not because it was a bad thing, but it was just too much to handle at the same time.

So, his boss lady that he’s been crushing on and falling for is also the hot babe he’s been having filthy, sinful private cam sessions with for months now? How?

Bucky found himself somewhat smirking. This wasn’t so bad, was it?

-

The rest of the night, you got no sleep at all. You threw both your phones as far away from you as possible and curled in bed; thinking, and thinking some more. How on Earth would you face James, or Bucky, now when you get back to work?

Would he ignore you? Or would he want to talk it out? Would it be weird between you two from now on? Then again, you’ve already slept together – multiple times in one night recently.

 Meanwhile Bucky was in the same state. He had the same questions you did. Would you distance yourself from him now? Would the fact that he’s a camboy be a turn off for you? Because it’s one thing to derive pleasure from one, and it’s another thing to date a sex worker, he thought.

But he was already falling for you. Good God, what a mess!

---

You couldn’t believe how quickly Wednesday came around. Before you knew it, you were in your car and on your way to work on Wednesday morning. You did think of just not going to work today because you weren’t ready to face James. But then, you’d have to eventually.

Besides, he hadn’t called at all. Nor messaged. It was radio silence on both your ends, which made it even more frustrating. If you at least knew where he was at with this situation, you’d know what to expect when you inevitably do see him at work today. But you didn’t even know what to expect and you hated the suspense more than anything.

Luckily you didn’t see him in the elevator. Because you didn’t what to do if you were enclosed in such a small space with him. God, this is going to be one weird day…

-

Bucky was just as nervous while he was getting ready for work that day. What if you fire him? No, you wouldn’t do that. He wondered, would you still like him the same after this? Things were going to be messy in the beginning but what about after that? Fuck… he hated this suspense.  

When in the cab, he wanted to get to work and face you as soon as possible and figure out where you two stood now. But he also wanted to run. But he knew had to face you and talk this out.

He took the elevator up, and luckily you weren’t in the same one as him so that gave him a few more minutes to prep himself before he came face to face with you later, inevitably.

 Bucky was on his way to his cabin when his work phone buzzed in his pocket. He pulled it out and saw that it was a call from you. Instinctively, he lifted his head up and looked in the direction of your office. And there you were, leaning against your door and your phone pressed to your ear. And you were looking right at him.

He couldn’t read exactly what the facial expression you had on meant, but it definitely gave away that it was nothing negative. He answered the call quickly, and maintained eye contact with you as he spoke.

“Hello Y/N.” he watched how you smirked right when you heard his voice. Fuck… his heart raced as he looked at you. You looked good.

His breath hitched in his throat upon hearing your words, “Hello soldier.”