#i forgot to mention her but shes there too she has a thing for freddie jones

[princeloww]

rivals plot summary (including content warnings)

What to expect from the new DT show, basically. Vague spoiler warning.

Tony Baddingham, DT's character, runs a British television company in the Cotswold area. He is a lord and, as you might guess, extremely rich. He tends to manipulate people and spend their money instead of his, so that when his ventures go wrong, other people are left scrambling to pick up their losses, while he's completely fine.

He has a long-lasting rivalry with the tory minister for sport, Rupert Campbell-Black. Rupert is extremely charming and athletic, and has a new mistress every week. He is divorced and does not see his two children very often. He's an athlete at heart, and adores his horses more than people --- but politics are a lot more stable than that.

The plot follows a very large cast of characters, which can be quite confusing at first. I had to go back and work out who Beattie Johnson was, for example, because I'd completely forgotten who she was and who she was involved with. There are lots of wives and husbands and mistresses and children, so it gets a bit complicated. Most of the characters are somehow linked to Corinium, Lord B (Tony Baddingham)'s TV company.

Tony hooks up with and employs an American director/writer, Cameron Cook. She moves to England to work at Corinium. Her arrival and bad attitude forms tension in the Coriunium workspace, and the tension furthers when Declan O'Hara, an Irish TV presenter and author, arrives at Corinium. He is a leftist (in contrast to the conservatives around him) and often discriminated against for being Irish. At times he is accused of having IRA links, mostly just to make him look bad. He and Tony's personalities clash, leading to a fall out at Corinium. Declan, in a drunken rage, quits his job and falls into a bit of a bad state.

Recovering from the publicity of his departure, Declan groups up with Rupert Campbell-Black and a few others (including Tony's brother, Basil Baddingham) to create a rival television company, Venturer, to challenge Corinium and Tony for the franchise.

There is a lot of romance and a LOT of subplots. Declan's daughter, Taggie O'Hara, is a dyslexic cook who struggles to find work due to her inability to read and write. She develops a crush on Rupert, who is considerably older. If I start talking about how much I despise their relationship, I will never stop. Taggie will probably be quite a main character in the show, I'm guessing. Declan also has a wife, Maud, who is a failed actress and spends all of his money.

Tony's wife, Monica, is very charitable and employs Taggie despite Declan and Tony's rivalry. She is aware that Tony is having an affair with Cameron Cook. An affair which, while Cameron is under his employment, becomes extremely toxic and abusive.

I'm sure the show will be rounded out a bit for modern audiences, but warnings wise (at least in the book), Rivals includes themes of sexual assault (particularly groping), misogyny, domestic abuse and much more. A big majority of the characters are rich and extremely corrupt. Tony, the baddie of the story, has some of the worst moments. There is a scene where he hits and throws a woman until she is bleeding, because she's 'betrayed' him. He also threatens to kill somebody. On a separate occasion, he tells a distraught SA victim not to tell anybody, because the attacker is somebody who he needs on his side, for money. There is also, obviously, given the kind of characters we follow, a lot of classism. Valerie Jones, for example, exists as a punching bag for a middle-class Northern woman who wants to be like the rich Southerners.

Tony might be the bad guy, but Rupert, who we're supposed to like, is also awful. He's Jilly Cooper's little golden boy, despite being horrible. I hate him so much but Jilly clearly loves him. He gropes eighteen-year-old girls and objectifies every single woman he speaks to.

Again, I'm sure a lot of this will be toned down, but watch with caution. The story has light moments and lots of romance, comedy and drama --- it just occasionally dips into dark themes. There will probably be lots of dinner parties, as every other scene is a giant social gathering. As much as I have issue with Jilly Cooper, she is absolutely excellent at writing large social scenes with dozens of different subplots combining.

There's also a weird theme of characters describing 14-year-olds (specifically 14-year-olds) in weird predatory ways. It's weird though, because a strange amount of characters do it -- to the degree where I think it's just Jilly Cooper describing them weirdly. She acts as though being a teenage girl is a woman's prime and that she is wasted after that. She has also gone on the record to state that she hates feminists. I'm not a giant fan, frankly.

On a lighter note, if you want to tell who's supposed to be a good guy, just remember that the good guys always quote poetry and like animals.

Despite its many flaws and dark themes, Rivals really is an interesting read. Jilly Cooper says the weirdest, most fucked up things ("she's like a little sister", thinks Rupert, right after staring at the 18-yo's ass) but the story really supports itself. It's interesting, gossipy, raunchy and very well written. Cooper is an expert at big scenes, and works so well with the giant ensemble cast. I disagree with a lot of things she says, but I think the show will be really good. I'm super excited and can't wait to watch it. There's a particular scene with David's character that I'm looking forward to; while in the book it was a bit scary, because we know how Jilly is with teenagers, there's a scene where Tony drives Declan(his enemy)'s daughter home, and is actually very nice to her before realising who she is. I think DT will do this scene a lot better, and it might actually be a bit endearing. Idk, I don't wanna jinx it, but I think it has potential to be a sweet scene, with the charm DT typically brings to these roles.

If anyone has any plot-related questions, or about David's character or anything, please feel free to ask! I'm more than happy to ramble about this book, because I do really like it. I see and dislike its flaws, but personally I am able to look past them and appreciate the story and characters. They're all horrible people, but let's be honest. They're politicians and rich, tory lords in the 1980s. They were always going to be horrible. You can like something that contains problematic characters without necessarily, immediately condoning and agreeing with those things. People online and especially on places like TikTok seem to struggle with this concept, but I'm a firm believer in media literacy and accepting flaws. You can like something that is bad. You can like villains. It's fine.

Declan is my favourite btw. Live laugh love Declan O'Hara

[name-doggo]

One thing I really wish the FF Community would Stop doing is Removing All Nuance from the Parents in Those Stories in order to Make Them Abusive Supervillains who Never Loved their Kid.

Like... In the Four Years I've been here, and for how Small the Community really is, you'd be surprised how many Times I've seen it-

[monty-glasses-roxy]

Freaking HAUNTED by the scenario of Cassie falling for the Mimic's act in the elevator and she comes back from it so, so, SO freaking scared but also so so SO freaking biased and spiteful and ANGRY she tries getting back at Gregory in the way that would hurt him even more than just 'paying in the same coin', by taking away from him exactly what he loves the most by trying to get Freddy destroyed. 💀 (definitely not a route I think Cassie would truly dive into but boy ain't it an interesting one none the less! 👀)

It also doubles as a way to free Roxy and the others from Freddy as well!! Two birds one stone!!

However... I've never heard the saying 'paying in the same coin' so I'm not entirely sure what it means, but I can take a pretty good guess. Not to be contrarian but what makes you think destroying Freddy wouldn't be doing the same thing Gregory did? He destroyed Roxy, Chica and Monty, and it was his voice telling him to deactivate Roxy for good to come and save him. After shutting her down, and her coming back to throw herself at Mimic for Cassie, Gregory tried to make it all for nothing by dropping her.

All of Roxy's damage falls on his shoulders, both before and after Cassie came into the picture. He didn't even care, did he? And neither did Freddy so really, this is the best vengeance she can hope for. She deals with the animatronic that Roxy keeps saying she'll kill if she ever sees him again, and hits Gregory where it really fucking hurts. Two revenge plans one stone!

And you're so right, Cassie would probably not go down that road... But ya know she might at least be a little tempted given Roxy's aggression over it. She keeps giving her ideas damn it she doesn't want them!!! Roxy can take them and do whatever she wants with them, Cassie doesn't wanna do it!!! And it works out cause Roxy doesn't have the fucking balls to go all the way with a murder plan anyway so no one gets hurt!!!

I guess that's a lose lose scenario ngl though...

This reminds me of a scenario I had the idea for a little bit ago when we were last talking about this stuff! (That got a bit long here so I'll add a read more for convenience)

The idea is that Vanessa, Gregory and Freddy return as quick as they can to try and save Cassie and instead find Roxy, once again guarding the door, Mini swarm in the shadows around them. She's obviously more damaged than before so it's a bit more difficult, but she's doing her best not to fall off the barriers she's stood on over the door and I've just had the idea of Minis holding onto her in the dark like training wheels. Aside from them, she's completely alone.

Vanessa talking is a shock to her and she's beyond happy to hear she's okay and most importantly, was freed. Surprisingly touched by her running to help her too... Just fucking snaps at Gregory and Freddy to shut the fuck up whenever they say anything cause she doesn't give a flying shit what they have to say. Vanessa hurries though, asking how she got away from that thing down there and tells her that Gregory's friend Cassie was down there too, what happened??

Yeah uh. Roxy says nothing for a while and Gregory gets impatient and tries to run at the door. The Minis grab him and the swarm just kinda take him away, literally up the fucking wall and take some pictures with an old Fazcam so Roxy can see it later lmao she's actually devastated she can't see this happening right now. Anyway, Roxy's like "what do you THINK happened?" and since she won't say anything else, they naturally, assume the fucking worst. She doesn't correct them or say another word. Just tells Freddy and Gregory that they've done enough fucking damage and to get out before she throws them out...

Oh yeah Gregory is fucking pissed. Why didn't she save her?! Why is Roxy out here when Cassie isn't?! What kind of useless animatronic is she that she couldn't save one kid?! What, is she only good at killing kids?! Is that it?! He's so fucking mad and Roxy just lets him rant and rave, the Minis stopping him for her every time he makes a run at the door until Freddy takes him away. He says he's disappointed in her, but that he's not surprised and that makes her seethe but she doesn't say anything until she hears Vanessa leaving. She stops her and when they're alone, she tells Vanessa the truth.

Cassie is in bad shape. Mimic is dead and they barely made it out, but her dad took her to hospital a little before they got here. Vanessa - who was in tears already - is so fucking relieved, but then asks why Roxy didn't say anything earlier. She tells her the truth as she knows it. That Cassie was here trying to save him. That Mimic lured her here as him, and at the end, Gregory said he couldn't risk being followed, and dropped the fucking lift with Cassie in it.

Now that doesn't make sense to Vanessa. She may not have been there for that last bit but they didn't rush all the way over here for nothing. Roxy can't exactly answer why he'd want to come back here, but she reminds her what he and Freddy did to all of them and points out that this would hardly have been out of the ordinary for him.

And so, you now have a situation where Vanessa doesn't know what to believe. She knows Roxy wouldn't lie about something like that and even if she did, she's a fucking awful liar. But she's clearly angry enough to let him think Cassie is dead and not give a shit... And she says it's to make sure he doesn't try it again so she's also asking Vanessa not to say a word. She can't do that! She can't just let a kid think his friend is dead because of him! ... But she's right in thinking this may not be completely out of the ordinary for him... But he wouldn't do that to someone he would run to the rescue of, right?? Gregory wouldn't do that, she knows him well enough to know that now!!

You see what's happened here? Now Vanessa is in the middle. If she doesn't say a word, Gregory will forever think Cassie got killed trying to save him. If she tells him and it turns out Roxy is right, then what if he tries again?

I feel she'd tell him, but no matter what, Roxy just straight up telling the truth to Vanessa, his current guardian, and not to him would cause so much pain. He could have been there screaming at her and she didn't say a fucking word because in her mind, this is nothing compared to what he's put all of them and Cassie through. And what happens if she does die in hospital?? What then?? She can't lie and say she's fine when she's not anyway!! She doesn't know shit!!

But ya get me with this? It's emotional revenge enacted at the end of Roxy's very long day in the pizzeria graveyard. Minimal effort required, with Vanessa unfortunately in the middle, but Vanessa is always welcome here. Roxy won't blame her for whatever she chooses to do, because at the end of the day, Roxy's done her job. Whether Gregory or Freddy believes it or not, she did her job.

She's really fucking glad she couldn't see his reaction though, she wouldn't have been able to keep her mouth shut if she had. Like most of the others, she can't bare to see a kid in genuine pain and she knows damn well how much her silence caused...

But yeah, you just got me thinking about that again. It's a spur of the moment thing for Roxy, inspired partly by the fact she's not good with words and doesn't really know how to approach this anyway. It's been a long day and her lack of words just turned into this and she's not even a little bit sorry. I think Cassie would appreciate the sentiment of keeping her safe from a second attempt on her life. And feel a bit bad that she takes some satisfaction in hearing how devastated Gregory was over it...

The picture of him being held from his ankles on the ceiling by the Minis is pretty good revenge too. They're proud of that one lmao

[leossmoonn]

five nights with mike (2) | mike schmidt

read part one

summary - a romance develops between you and mike at freddy’s

warnings / includes - reader is fem. established feelings. natural time skips. very loosely follows the plot of the movie but i didn’t want to watch it again for this lol. eventual smut - piv, oral f receiving, brief handjob

————

18+ under the cut

“thank you so much for picking me up. you might have to tomorrow, too.”

mike glances at you, giving you a small smile. “it’s no problem.”

you buckle yourself in and set your purse between your legs on the ground. “how is abby?”

“great. she asks about you all the time,” mike chuckles. “oh,” you sigh, putting your hand on your chest. “she’s adorable. maybe sometime we can eat lunch or something together.”

his heart spikes and he nods enthusiastically. “that-that would be awesome. yeah and, uh, i can pay this time. i can even make it, too.”

“mike schmidt cooks, huh?” you grin at him. “i only know how to make a few things, but i like cooking in general. just give me a recipe and i’ll try my best,” he says.

“mmm. well, i love a man who can cook,” you remark, looking out the window. heat creeps up mike’s neck and reaches his ears. “just let me know what kind of food you like, and i’ll make it. i’m not a trained chef or anything, though, so if it’s bad then i don’t say i didn’t warn you.”

“i bet you’re better than me. i personally like baking better,” you say.

“baking is cool, but it takes too long and i’m an impatient person.”

“well, how about you cook and i’ll bring the dessert.”

“oh, you don’t have to do that,” mike shakes his head. “you’re already so busy with work.”

“it’s no trouble. i’ve stated to get later shifts at my day job. it means i work later, but more time to sleep and some more time reserved for things like baking.”

“that’s great to hear. do you feel like you sleep better now?”

“no,” you snort. “if anything, i feel worse, but that’s just my brain. i can tell my body appreciates it.”

mike hums in response. “tonight you can sleep the majority of the shift if you’d like.”

“and leave you all alone? no. after what happened to abby, i’m kind of scared to sleep there.”

mike rolls his bottom lip in between his teeth. “don’t let abby scare you. she has lots of imaginary friends even before i took her there, which won’t be happening again.”

“right,” you sigh. “it’s just that i swore i heard other voices. like a man’s voice.”

mike feels the hairs raise up on his arms even under his jacket. “maybe tonight we can scope it out.”

“sure. hopefully we don’t die. imagine those fur things coming to life and murdering us,” you shiver in thought.

mike chuckles, “that would be wild.”

mike parks his car at the pizzeria. you grab your purse and lead the way in. as you step inside, there’s a cracking sound. you look under your shoe, seeing a bunch of glass on the floor.

“holy shit,” you gasp. you look at the diner, seeing it totally trashed.

“fuck, um. yeah, steve mentioned this to me earlier. i-i must’ve forgot,” mike says sheepishly. he really did forget. he must’ve been so clouded by his excitement to see you, he scraped his conversation with steve completely.

“it’s okay. it’s not like you warning me would’ve changed what happened.” you can’t believe your eyes. it seems like every table in the diner is flipped over or broken. glass litters the floor and you’re thankful you chose to wear sneakers tonight and not slippers like you have been. “what did happen?” you turn to mike.

“i guess a bunch of people came in here after we left and trashed it. i’m not sure why. i swore we locked all the doors.”

“yeah, i thought we did, too. we wanted to get abby out of here fast, though, so we could’ve missed something.”

“yeah, that’s what i was thinking, too,” mike sighs. “i guess you really won’t be getting any rest tonight.”

“it’s alright,” you shrug. “i just don’t know if we’ll be able to get the diner back to its original state.”

“it’s not like anybody but us comes here,” mike jokes. you smile and nod, “right.” you set your purse down on one of the booth tables that isn’t destroyed. “let’s get to it.”

mike and you spend most of the night cleaning. you were shocked to find even more mess in the hallway and kitchen areas. everything was going smoothly until you find what you think is blood splattered all over the storage room window.

“mike?” you call out. there’s no answer and a pang of worry hits your chest. “mike?” you shout louder.

“coming!” you hear him. fast footsteps echo in the hallway and you can’t help but feel creeped out. you always thought this place was weird and dinky. you only accepted the job because you found out another person was working, and while you feel very save with mike, you just can’t shake the feeling that there’s something seriously wrong with this place.

“what’s up?” mike asks. you point to the window and his eyes widen. “oh,” he says. “um, maybe that’s the blood of the person destroying the place?”

“maybe. but it’s from the inside.”

“yeah,” mike gulps. “we can tell steve about it or something. we were hired to babysit this place, not be a clean up crew.”

“right,” you nod. he grabs your hand gently and you feel butterflies erupt in your tummy. “let’s go back to the office. we only have a couple more hours here. we can relax from cleaning then just be done.”

you smile in agreement, letting him lead you out of the hallway. soon your mind wanders away from the eerie feelings. you talk about everything and nothing. you laugh at every terrible joke he makes. he listens intently to stories about your family. with each minute, it seems like you two get closer — both emotionally and physically. by the end of the shift, you’re sitting knee-to-knee. your foot is brushing up against his jeans, feeling the muscle of his calf. both of your hands are rested on the desk and his fingers routinely brush up against yours. soon, they’re basically intertwined. you don’t know how they got there, but you’re not complaining.

“looks like we made it without dying,” mike says. you grin, “until tomorrow.”

“shall i take you home, then?” he asks. your face falls and he catches it, but you’re quick to mask it. “yeah, sure.” the disappointment seeps into you, but you know you’ll see him again soon. you just wish you could have more time with him.

you both walk out, triple checking that everything is shut and locked. the car ride home is silent, but it’s comfortable. you glance at mike every so often, admiring him from the passenger seat. his hair is tousled from running his hands in it. his eyebrows are furrowed as he focuses on driving, his eyes moving every so often as he watches the road. your eyes trial down the shape of his nose, noticing the tiniest bump towards the top.

dread fills you as he pulls into your driveway. you purse your lips as you try to think of what will allow you to spend more time with him.

“what’re your plans for today?” you ask. “nothing much. abby’s with a babysitter right now. thankfully, it’s the weekend so i don’t have to rush to take her to school,” he answers.

“ah,” you hum. he looks to you, seeing your face in deep concentration as you stare at your lap. “what about you? you work later today, right?”

“yep. at 2,” you say. he glances at the dashboard clock that reads 6:30 am. “you have a while then. are you tired?” he asks.

“not really. honestly, staying up all night kind of gave me a boost of energy.”

“me, too,” he nods. you can’t help but sigh. there’s no good reason for him to come inside or even for you to go back to his house. you figure you just have to wait until tonight.

“thank you again for driving me. are you able to pick me up later?” you ask.

“of course,” he nods. you smile, “great! i really appreciate it.”

“it’s really no problem,” he smiles. you start to get out of the car, but he stops you. “hey, can i, uh, use your bathroom really quickly?”

“yeah,” you nod a little too much. “thank you,” he says, stepping out of his car. you unlock the front door, trying to remember if you left your house a complete mess or not. you’re relieved to see that you did not.

mike looks around your house. it looks identical to his from the outside, but the inside is a whole different story. he wonders if you hired an interior decorator because of how beautiful it looks.

“the bathroom is down the hall to the right,” you say. he turns to look at you, then to the hallway. “thanks,” he says, making his way to the closed door.

you take off your shoes, placing them neatly on the small shoe rack you have by the door. there are some dirty dishes on the coffee table in your living room from your last meal, but you’re sure he doesn’t mind. everyone has dirty dishes laying out from time to time. you take the opportunity to load them in your dishes washer, re-folding some blankets and fluffing up the couch pillows.

you’re sat on your couch when mike comes out.

“are you hungry?” you ask. “no,” he lies. he wants to stay, but he doesn’t want to be a burden to you.

“oh, come on. we haven’t eaten in like, eight hours. at least i haven’t. i have some cinnamon rolls that would love to be baked.”

“would they, though?”

you giggle and stand up. “will your babysitter mind staying a little late?”

“i’ll call her,” mike says. he takes out his phone, dialing his home phone. it takes a moment or two for someone to pick up. “hello?” abby’s voice echos.

“hey, abby. is max there?” he asks. “yes. she just got me breakfast from mcdonald’s,” abby says.

“oh, that’s nice of her. do you mind if i speak to her real quick?”

“okay. max!”

mike quickly pulls the phone away as abby yells into the mic.

“hello?” max says. “hey, max. i, uh, got caught up at the pizzeria. are you able to stay and watch her for an hour or so?” mike asks.

“yeah, of course,” she says quickly. “awesome. i’ll pay you extra, i promise,” mike says.

“it’s okay, mike. I’ll see you when you get back.”

“yep,” he hangs up, waking into the kitchen where you’re setting out the dough.

“ah, these are pre-packaged,” mike remarks. “nobody has time to make cinnamon rolls by scratch,” you say.

“says the person who likes baking. or do you just like fake baking?”

“this is not fake baking!” you exclaim. “i am putting it in the oven and going to put icing over it.”

“whatever you say.” mike leans against your counter, crossing his arms over his chest. you can’t help but notice him flex his biceps.

“i bet you fake cook,” you quip. his brows raise in question. “and what does that entail?”

“you put a foam cup full of ramen and warm it up in the microwave.”

“those are delicious.”

“i mean, yeah, but it’s so hard to put an egg in it and sometimes the noodles aren’t soft enough.”

“well, i usually cook my ramen on the stovetop. so if i ever make you that, you’ll know it’s real cooking.”

you laugh at his joke, your eyes flickering from the rolls to him a few times. you think about doing this again with him, next time with him making you food. you think about being in his house, seeing how he lives, looking at the pictures he may have on the walls, or lack thereof. you think about sitting on his couch and watching a movie, shoulders and knees touching. you wonder what his room looks like, what color his sheets are. you want to know what he looks like sleeping and waking up. you want to know what he looks like on top of you and between your thighs.

“what else do you know how to make?” you ask.

“chicken pot pie.”

“pot pie? wow.” you are genuinely impressed.

“i’ve been told i make a mean stir fry, too.”

“you’ll have to make it for me then. does abby like your cooking?” you ask, putting the pan in the preheated oven.

“only if it’s spaghetti and waffles.”

“i see that she’s a simple girl.”

“food-wise, she is. but i don’t mind. they’re both easy things to make.”

“it’s sweet.” you turn to him, leaning against the counter diagonal from him. “how you take care of her. she’s lucky to have you.”

“truth is, i’m lucky to have her. we don’t always get along, but she keeps me going.”

“that is adorable,” you awe. “i am an only child, so i envy people who have siblings.”

“it’s not all sunshine and rainbows, but it’s nice just having someone there.”

“seems like it,” you say. you move to your coffee maker, turning it on and finding a k-cup to use. “would you like some coffee?”

“i would,” he nods. “can you grab us some mugs? they’re in the cabinet behind your head,” you direct.

he does so, placing the cups on the counter. he moves to slide it to you at the same time you put your hand on it. your heart skips a beat. your eyes shoot to his and you see they’re already on you. you watch his eyes trail down to your lips and the back up to your own eyes. you feel weak in the knees as he stares at you through his lashes. his eyes are wide and full of innocence, but there’s a hint of mischief in them as his pupils begin to widen.

“thank you,” you say, your voice coming out barely above a whisper.

“mhm,” he hums, his voice low and smooth. “how do you like your coffee?” you ask.

“one sugar and a splash of milk or creamer. whatever you have,” he answers.

“i have some creamer in the fridge.” you head towards your refrigerator. he watches you as you bite your lip as you search for the creamer. you shut the fridge door gently, setting the creamer next to the coffee maker. you open the cabinet above of you, grabbing a couple packets of sugar. he keeps his eyes on you as the silence settles in.

this feels so nice. being with you in your house feels nice. being close to you, spending time with you feels nice. mike wants to do this every day. he wants to fall asleep holding you close like he did the other night in the office. he wants to live with you and make dinner for you, having it await your arrival after your day shift. he wants to wake up next to you, tracing circles on your skin until they eventually become replaced with kisses. he wants to know how you’d look on top of him, riding his dick and face.

soon the cinnamon rolls are done. you take them out of the oven, waiting a few moments before icing them.

“you’re pretty good at icing,” you say. “thank you. these are kind of hard to ice since they’re so warm,” he chuckles.

“yeah, you’re supposed to wait, but i’m starving.” you take a bite into the roll, your eyes rolling to the back of your head. mike can’t help but notice that his jeans feel uncomfortably tight all the sudden. he takes a bite of his roll, making a note of how good they are.

“you can never go wrong with these,” you say. you take another bite, some icing sticking to the top of your lip. “you have a little bit of something here.” mike’s pinky points to his own lips.

“oh, god,” you laugh, heat creeping up your neck from embarrassment. “i should’ve warned you, i’m a messy eater.” you take a napkin and wipe it over the bottom half of your lip.

mike smiles and sets his roll down. “here, let me.”

you nod and place the napkin down, his fingers brushing against yours once more. he moves closer to you, leaning his head in to where your foreheads are almost touching. his gaze is trained on your lips as he cups your face, swiping his thumb over your lips. you don’t realize you’re holding in a breath until he looks into your eyes.

“thank you,” you manage to say. your throat feels dry all of the sudden and you feel hot all over. “no problem,” he says.

the air is thick between you two. you’re so close, closer than you’ve ever been. you can feel the heat radiating off of him. when you inhale you can smell him. he smells like the woods, spearmint, and vanilla. you can recognize the spearmint smell from his car. you wonder if the woodsy smell is natural and if the vanilla is the scent of his body wash.

he doesn’t move is hand away and you’re sure you don’t want him to. his eyes move across your face, not sure whether to stare at your lips or your eyes. he sucks in a deep breath, swallowing slowly. you watch as his adam’s apple bobs up and down, his jaw becoming more sharp as he bites down on his back teeth for a moment.

“can i kiss you?” his voice is low and warm. your eyes flutter in surprise, your heart following in suit. his big brown eyes stare into yours, holding your eyes hostage.

“yes,” you finally say. he slowly moves in, his hand moving upwards to touch the nape of your neck. you try to control your breathing as you watch his eyes flicker from yours to your lips. he brushes his bottom lip against yours, causing a thrill to run up your spine. his head moves back slightly, but he makes up for it with closing the gap between you two.

kissing him feels like a weight taken off your shoulders. all the tension you’ve felt releases as you move your lips with his. he kissed you so gently, a little too soft, like he’s holding back. after a few seconds he pulls away, both of you catching your breaths.

“i’ve been wanting to do that for a while,” he says. you smile, grabbing his free hand. “well, don’t stop.”

he kisses you again, this time harder. it’s almost bruising. he grabs your waist, holding you tighter and closer. you take a shower breath and his tongue slips into your mouth. you moan softly as his hand slivers down to your ass and squeezing the soft tissue. your arms wrap around him and your weave your fingers through his hair. it’s so soft like you’ve always imagined.

“can i do this?” mike breathes against your lips. your eyes are still closed as he slides both hands up your shirt. you answer him by pulling away completely and taking your shirt off, revealing your nude-colored bra. you expect his eyes to drop down immediately, but you watch as they follow your jaw and down your neck. they sweep across the area where your collarbones are, then finally landing on your breasts.

his hands walk up your sides, making you laugh a little bit. he smiles at you, his eyes jumping up to yours now. you can’t help but squeeze your thighs just by the way he’s looking at you. he attaches his lips to yours once more, but it’s not long before he starts to trail down to your neck and your chest. you unhook your bra, letting it fall off your shoulders to the ground. you lean against the counter as he cups your tits, thumbs circling over your hardened nipples. you let out a little gasp as he pinches them, looking up at you to try and gage your reaction. he closes his lips around one nipple, flicking it with his tongue. you sigh this time, your hand falling to his head.

you feel his hands skim down to your pants. his fingers hook under the waistband, feeling over the cotton of your underwear. you shift your weight, feeling that the tension is almost unbearable. it’s painful as you watch him slowly slide down your pants. he runs his tongue down the valley of your breasts, pressing wet all over your tummy before landing at the top of your underwear. you step out of your pants, feeling the cold air hit your legs, making you shiver.

his left hand grabs the underside of your thigh. his hand is so warm against your cold skin. it feels nice, but not as nice as the feeling you get when he runs the pads of his fingertips down your underwear. he skims just over your slit, feeling some of the wetness that has collected. you want to slap the smirk off his face, but it makes your stomach flip.

“is there anything i should do?” he asks. now he looks all innocent, staring at you with wide eyes and raised brows.

“i could think of a few things,” you say. “mm, like what?” he inquires. his fingers are at the side of your panties. you watch in anticipation as you wait for him to pull them to the side. “tell me what you want,” mike says.

you swallow hard. “i… i want your fingers inside of me. and your mouth on me.”

you can see all of his top teeth as he smiles. “that’s all you had to say.”

you spread your legs, using the counter as a crutch. he pushes your underwear aside, slipping one finger into you. heat creeps up your neck at the sound of your cunt gushing. he slides it out momentarily, finding your clit to moisten the area. he slides two fingers in this time, curling them inside of you. he watches you again, seeing your lips part and chest heave up and down. you feel your brain go numb as he keeps his eyes locked on yours as he brings his mouth to your cunt.

“ohmygod,” you rush out, your head lolling back. his tongue flicks your clit, sucking every so often. you lead so far back your back is supported by your cabinets. one of your hands hold his head, your fingers gripping his hair. your other hand is digging your fingernails into his clothes shoulder.

“fuck, mike,” you gasp as he quickens the pace of his fingers ever so slightly. he hits that spot so perfectly, and you can’t help but squeeze your thighs around his head. his tongue starts making stronger strokes on your clit. not enough to make it hurt, but enough to make you feel like you’re already about to orgasm.

you’ve talked to mike about past lovers. you know he’s had a couple and for only short periods of time. you assumed he would be experienced, but not an expert, which you had no problem with. he’s sure as hell proving you wrong now.

“don’t stop, don’t stop,” you breathe out. you place one hand next to you on the counter, gripping the marble top so hard you think it might leave an imprint in your palm. “mike, mike,” you warn him, your throat constricting and heart racing. your toes curl in your socks and you clench your thighs around his head one last time.

you have to push his head away, seeing the dazed look on his face. his fingers exit you and he sucks them dry. you visibly gulp, feeling warmth fill your lower stomach as you watch him. all you can hear is your heartbeat in your ears and your heavy breathing.

“good?” he asks. “yes,” you nod enthusiastically. “so good.”

you grab him by his shirt, crashing your lips onto his. you taste yourself on his lips. both of your hands drop down to his jeans, undoing his belt quickly. his heart skips in excitement as his pant pool at his ankles. you palm him through his brief, feeling how hard he it. it must be painful, you think, and it is. he was already hard from the moment he kissed you, and it didn’t get any better when giving you head.

you pull away and wet your hand with your spit, shoving your hand down his boxers. both of his hands grip your waist as you wrap your fingers around his length, pumping it in your hands, squeezing every so often. your other hand reached down to his balls, massaging them gently, but at the same pace as your other hand.

“shit,” mike groans, his eyes rolling to the back of his head. he already feels like he’s going to blow a load. he hasn’t had sex in a long while, but he didn’t his stamina was this terrible. he knows it’s you, though. you’re the reason why his fingertips are digging into your skin. you’re the reason why his pre-cum is leaking all over your hand. you’re the reason why when he feels like he’s close to coming, he stops you because he wants — no, needs — to feel what it’s like inside of you.

“do you have a condom?” mike breaths out. “yeah,” you say. you quickly make your way to one of your drawers, pulling out a packet. “these work?” you ask.

“yes,” he nods. “you just keep condoms laying around?”

“easy access,” you shrug.

“you fuck everybody in your kitchen, then?”

“only my hot co-workers.”

he blushes at your comment. you give him a wink, tearing open the condom. you hand it to him and he slides it on. you grab the bottle of lube you keep handy as well, slathering it onto the condom, giving mike a playful squeeze that elicits a low groan. he takes you by the waist and kisses you, spinning you around so now yours against the counter again. you take your panties off and hop on, the cold marble feeling nice against your blazing hot skin.

you lean back, watching mike line himself up with you. he looks into your eyes then back down, pushing himself inside of you. you gasp softly, your grip on his shoulders tightening. he starts off slow at first, basking in your warmth and tight walls. but soon, he’s fucking you. he slides his arm under your back and pulls your bottom half towards him, causing the angle to change. he hikes one of your legs up, allowing him to lean into you more and just hit that spot deep inside of you deliciously.

“mike,” you pant into his shoulder, holding yourself close to him. he makes your eyes flutter shut and roll back farther with each thrust. you pulsate around him with every whimper and moan that comes out of his mouth. you soon feel that familiar feeling bubble in your lower stomach.

mike rests his head against your cabinet, looking down and watching as he slides in and out of you. his grip on your sides tighten as he tries to focus on other things than you, but he can’t. you’re just too sexy. the way you’re moaning in his ear, chanting his name with each thrust. the way your nails begin to scrape against his shoulder blades. not to mention, you look amazing just sitting on the countertop. he can’t not think about you and the fact that he’s inside of you.

that’s all he needs to finish.

you wrap both legs around him as you come. your head leans back, your eyes screwing shut. he comes with you, stopping after a few slow thrusts. he slides out of you, chest heaving up and down. you squeeze your legs together and swear you can still feel him inside of you.

he ties the condom and throws it into your trash can. you have a big smile on your face when he turns to look at you. he can’t help but mirror it.

“how, uh, was that?” he asks, suddenly becoming bashful. “amazing,” you breathe out. “how did i do?” you ask teasingly.

“you were…. perfect.” his pupils are blown and you can’t tell where his iris starts. his words make your body feel even more warm. you jump off your counter and put your clothes back on, making a note to wipe off your counter with lysol soon.

“i should get back home to abby,” mike says. your smile falls, but you understand. “she probably misses you.”

“probably not,” he chuckles. “well, i know i will.” you take his hands into yours.

“you’ll see me soon,” he says, his thumb tracing circles on your skin.

“i will,” you smile, starting to feel excited again. you walk him outside, leaning on the hood of his car. “i hope to do this again sometime,” you say.

“me, too. maybe sometime before work i can make you dinner?” he suggests.

you’re smiling so hard your cheeks are starting to hurt. “i would love that.”

————

taglist

@celestbarnes

[gorlygorlx3]

"Best. Masseuse. Ever.", the period comfort fic, I forgot to mention that Chica also gives the best massages since she knows about muscle aches and what soothes the pain.

The reason behind Monty and Moon's bitterness towards each other is that Monty made an insult about the twins in what he thought was "private". Turns out Moon overheard that and in return for that, stole Monty's sunglasses, then his bass. After Monty found the thief, the two bickered and then the rest is history. Their relationship was born out of triviality rather than jealousy like Monty with Freddy.

Here's a nice incorrect quote: 

Roxy: The door's locked! (Y/N) give me your credit card. (Y/N): Sure, here. *Gives credit card* Roxy: *Puts credit card in her pocket* Cool, now Monty bust down the door.

Roxy's prone to spend money on your bank account. What do you mean get a job like a normal human? She's already a big star.

A while back I said that Sun writes his own scripts as a way to grieve over his original job. They're very private, only the bestest of best friends get access to his book of plays. Which is obviously, you. The notebook consisted of little pieces of dialogue to actual script writing include scene changes, action captions, etc. He usually writes children's plays but some are a bit more thorough and deep and has themes like “death” and “intimacy”. He loves gushing to you about it. (A real theater kid)

Moon likes to watch horror movies. I know I said he'll make snarky comments about the plot during movie date night, but he really enjoys them. Helps find new way to scare (Benison) intruders; recreating iconic horror movie scenes like The Ring (he crawled out the vent like the girl crawled out the tv), Texas Chainsaw Massacre (he ran around with those finger pointer things and recorded chainsaw sounds), Carrie (he filled a bucket with red paint and dropped it, Sun cleaned up the mess) as well as others. Will also say some iconic horror movie lines. "I want to play a game." As he shows up with red spirals on his cheeks.

Claire has such bad luck when it comes to love. She got catfished, dumped, cheated on, sexual assaulted once. Her love life was horrible. 

Lorelei knows how to sew. She sewn a heart with the bisexual colors on the back of a bomber jacket and gave it to you.

The mini Music Men are named after musical terms. The main three that hang out with DJ the most are named Alto, Tenor, and Soprano. (And they're all treblemakers ha ha 😏)

Sylvester married his wife Julia a while back. Before he quit his job at Circus Baby's Pizza World, Ballora said something to him. "If you ever cause Julia pain, I will find you and send you to your death." The strangest thing about that was Sylvester never mentioned his wife's name on the job, nor does Julia even work remotely close to the place.

Claire can't see without her glasses. At all. Please don't take them she's been through enough already.

Bonnie had ADHD, so it was really hard for him to focus. Freddy's the only one that helped reduced it. 

Sylvester and Bonnie were good friends back then. Bonnie would call Sylvester "old man" and they would bowl together on his [Sylvester] free time.

Foxy once mistaken a map bot for a worker, to which led to a little argument before, Sylvester had to tell him that wasn't a worker and walk the old man out of there. Foxy also pulls up reading glasses when reading small print, just to emphasizeshis old man demeanor.

(Y/N)'s personality is chill and carefree, maybe a little too carefree. But she gets shit done, and will bite back if her or any of her friends get hurt. That's why she and Vanessa don't get along well. Sometimes she screws with her on purpose.

Hey Nessa, you have any tampons? 

...

Y'know cuz me period just came and I--

Ok! ok! Yes I have...that.

😏

*This happened in the locker room.*

Also (Y/N):

Also also (Y/N): If I had a nickel for everytime someone thought I was a guy, I'd have two nickels. Which isn't a lot but it's weird that it happened twice.

To this day, Monty still doesn't know the difference between a crocodile and an alligator. Which is really bad...😬

Freddy likes Hallmark movies, probably because his life is like one.

Benison's dyslexic. He also has a phobia of pregnant women. Idk what traumatized him so badly to have a phobia of it but yeah...

Claire's aesthetic is light academia. Lorelei's aesthetic is goth and/or pastel goth. Benison's more casual/beach wear. (Y/N) and Sylvester are minimalistic.

Lorelei believes in nihilism.

Sun gets nervous when it comes to undressing and nudity. Even though he doesn’t have a dick, he still puts a towel or a blanket to cover down there. You have to tell him that all bodies are beautiful and he has literally nothing to hide. Monty and Lorelei have a cousins relationship. Somehow the two end up together causing whatever chaos they can do. They also bicker but it’s a good time.

[joltyflare]

(Sun and Moon Show Theory #5: Ruin X His Roxanne, A Possible Tragic Love Theory )

Wow, it has been a while since I've made my last theory. It was also Ruin-related because I mayyy have an obsession with him. Anyway, this theory is one I've been thinking about a lot lately.

Anyway, in this theory I will be discussing why I think Ruin got together with the Roxanne in his universe. It might get a bit long since I want to piece together his past, personality, and the few things we do know about him. I'll also be adding sources/timestamps if I can and posting a more digestible version of this on the official discord lol.

So far, we know Ruin's dimension was destroyed by the Creator and he watched everyone around him turn against each other due to the virus and then inevitably die. We know he felt very strongly about this. Strongly enough for him to be willing to pretend to be a maniac for years on end to survive just to be able to eventually destroy 5,000 universes worth of evil Creators. Not only to save universes but also to avenge his friends (source: WHY WAS ECLIPSE MADE?!?! in VRChat, 5:38, though I believe was mentioned multiple times). Note that he sounds very deeply sad when talking about his friends, which is in contrast to how he sounds a lot of the time.

This means he was probably really close to the animatronics in his universe. Closer to them than Sun and Moon are to anyone outside their family I bet, seeing as he didn't have a whole celestial family in his universe like what Sun and Moon have going on in their universe. After all, Sun and Moon merged and there was no family drama to come. No Earth, Lunar evil Eclipse (he was the only Eclipse), etc. He likely got to bond with the other animatronics in the Pizzaplex and get to know them, making him become way closer than Sun and Moon are to anyone outside their family. Of course, this would mean he would inevitably interact with Roxanne Wolf.

Now, it's very crucial to mention, in our main universe, Roxanne was wanting to date Sun. Sun was also wanting to date her. In fact, he really, really liked her. The thing is, they were very, very close to becoming a couple, but then Eclipse came in and did that whole maternity chip thing just to spite Sun and then, on top of it, made it so that everyone (Roxy included) hated the celestial brothers for a good while. This led to Roxanne ending up with Glamrock Freddy (only for them to split up a few times and her becoming a lesbian) and Sun being single, not really ever having another chance with her. Sun also sorta convinced himself she wasn't worth caring about and seemingly doesn't have feelings for her anymore.

However, in Ruin's universe, Roxanne never had a maternity chip installed by Eclipse. Also, Ruin himself is a merge of Sun and Moon, and it is very likely that he could have kept Sun's love for Roxanne. He has shown an interest in her during the October takeover, which is the biggest thing that leads me to believe he romantically cared for his Roxanne too! (Source: please tell me when this happens!! I actually forgot, though someone brought it to my attention as well!)

Another thing I thought was important to mention is Ruin's mannerisms and intelligence. I think his polite way of speaking and his love of using extravagant language is something Roxanne (especially early on) would like. I can see him easily being able to think of ways to compliment her and give her an ego boost or just make her feel loved. It's safe to say he really had a chance with her if he wanted in that universe. I think he would've also been the perfect match for her.

In our main universe, Roxanne lost her self-obsessed nature over time and became more caring to her partner, who was Glamock Freddy for the longest time. I think the same would have happened for Ruin and Roxanne, since Ruin is intelligent. Maybe he would have seen her potential as well and seen her more than just pretty to look at the way Sun had.

The tragedy part would come when the virus happened. Roxanne would've been lost to the virus. From the sounds of it, it seems like Ruin only realized what was happening to the others a bit too late (source: WHY WAS ECLIPSE MADE?!?! in VRChat, 5:06). Which means he was probably scared and confused when the virus started infecting everyone. This would mean Roxanne potentially becoming hostile toward Ruin for no reason or maybe worse.

Another theory I had is that she possibly became the first to die. Maybe the virus itself killed her because she couldn't handle it? Someone has mentioned she has always been a bit vulnerable to that type of thing and it would suit her. I know someone had to have died first. When Ruin is in his cell in Parts and Service, he says to Moon that he should mourn with friends stating that it's beneficial, adding that he would know (source: Eclipse Wants to KILL RUIN in VRChat, 10:24). He's speaking from personal experience. This means he and some friends mourned someone he was very close to. What if that someone was Roxanne? What if she died as the virus started to hit before everyone else fully went insane? We don't know her fate, as it is never stated, and it's plausible.

If they were a couple, it would've ended in tragedy. He would have lost her somehow. Not to mention Gregory would've also died.

Ruin also corrupted his older memories. He also does not seem to like thinking back to the time where he pretended to be a killer maniac robot. Yet he has let Moon do other things to him, worse than just looking at past memories and usually has kept his indifferent composure. Maybe some things were to personal for him to allow others to see...

Anyway, this is just a little theory of mine lol. I think it's possible and likely and I'd actually like if it happened because it'd add even more depth to Ruin's decision to destroy 5,000 dimensions! If anything, it's nice to speculate on his past because there's a lot we don't know about him.

[rockkal]

HOMESTUCK BEYOND CANON NEXT UPD8(s) PREDICTIONS (I'm delusional, btw) /SHITPOST

We get to see Jack Noir be a pathetic little meow meow and has depression because he's too busy working at the mine coal to see his wife

The Felt come into the screen, also somehow snowman, and they all say "We voted for Obama" (this is very important homestuck lore, btw)

Brand new character called HEROIN ADDICT is introduced. Son of Karkat and Dave. Has a brother named John Egbert Strider Vantas

Clover flirts with Jane and gets sent to the weed dungeon. And not like the good weed. I mean like the weed that really feels like shit

Jake becomes new leader of the Felt and Crowbar becomes his dad (Crowbar dad AU, write that down, it'll be on the test)

We get to see Death, the character, talk with ULT Dirk and he brang along the Midnight Crew, Mom Lalonde B1 and Dad egbert because he thinks they're cool (also, Mom Lalonde and Dad Egbert kiss a lot in death's office and have tea and buscuits with the Midnight Crew)

CALIBORN COMES FOR A SINGLE PANEL AND MAKES JUNE OFFICIALLY TRANS! BECAUSE HE HATES JUNE AND HE HATES WOMEN SO HE COMBINES THE TWO THINGS HE HATES INTO ONE (this is a joke, btw. I honestly want June's transitioning to be more in character then just the gremlin guy I like does it for me)

Ms Paint. becomes narrator of both Candy and Meat and it's just a podcast about different types of paint

Something related to The Midnight Crew's creator, Professor Mayasaka or however the fuck ya spell it, something translated into midnight. Whatever. I just wanna see the professor man come in and do something

JANE REVIVES AIMLESS RENEGADE SOMEHOW AND HE GOES GOD TIER! (His Classpect is Mage of Blood because I say so)

Sollux and Eridan kissing

B

Roxy breaks the fourth wall and says "it's Roxy Lalonding time" and Roxy Lalondes all over the place

A bucket appears and yeah

We see Andrew Hussie in a bath robe

Terezi manages to give back the legal rights to Beyond Canon back to their creators (sorry, I forgot your name, mister cool homestuck guy. I forget easily :'(]

Vriska dies. (I hate Vriska! (In a Kismesis way))

Equius comes back to say "I require horse" and then he gets prototyped with the universe frog

Matchsticks gets a personality and we learn he wants to become an actual fire fighter and save people since he was a kid

Stitch becomes hella cool by partnering with Kanaya to beat the shit out of Dirk

Rose just stays Rose because I forgot she existed

21 again but with Dave

June Egbert gets two new dads and they're Eggs and Biscuits from The Felt because it reminds her of her dead dad's cakes

Diamonds Droogs/Draconian Dignitary x Dad Crocker 20 hour oiled up make out session flash animation

Calliope has a child with Roxy. (comment what ya think they would be called)

Dirk eats a baby (it's John Egbert Strider Vantas)

AR gets to have a robo body and becomes friends with AR and Aradia and also Aranea is there to keep them in check and they call eachother the "AR squad", but Aranea is the out cast because she is blue

Eden Gardner (homestuck OC of @springselkie) gets a mention.

Monkeys become relevant to the plot

Jack Noir gets to show us his stabs

Bold Eagles are Aimless Renegade's second power, because he's the only AMERUCAN character in homestuck

Jake gets a beard and celebrates by showing us his level 100 GYAT

What Pumpkin office remains is an important location in the story

Mommy Condie comes back and marries Earth C's version of Colonel sassacres

Freddy Fazber, new character, literally the best. Hor hor hor hor.

Something related to drugs, I guess (I'm running out of ideas)

Fortnite becomes canon and everyone loves it

Deltarune reference

Jack Noir eats money and becomes lamborghini

Jack Noir villain arc where he and June kiss (their kismesis, it's ok. They want to kill eachother)

Rose's wifi is STILL shitty! COME ON, IT'S BEEN 10 YEARS, FIX YOUR INTERNET CONNECTION, GURL!

Kanaya gets to make something Lord English related

We see Doc Scratch because he's awesome

Wayward Vagabond comes back from the grave and does ANOTHER revolution against monerchy. He is truly the best diplomat.

MLP gets mentioned

Problem Sleuth shows up for 5 panels and then dies

Nepeta gets to kill Pickle Inspector

Eridan smokes weed

[S] Terezi: Do the mackarena

Weed chapter

Karkat gets a period cramp

Something something Lord English in black void, becomes normal Caliborn, being room mates with Equius, Gamzee and AR (auto-responder)

Free Bird fight sequence

Joe Biden gets a mention because he was probably in office before the clown fuckers took over D.C. Washington

Cockaine chapter

MSPA reader gets hella blazed and yeah

Caliborn kisses a rule 63 version of a Miku body pillow

Pic Yaoi sequence or smth

Sawbuck stays a fat fuck and eats the earth at the end

Itchy dies from tripping on a rock

Doze unslows himself and does a break dance

Trace and Fin make out session

Quarters gets to shoot ULT Dirk and is declared a war veteran

Bog from RHG shows up to eat a chocolate bar

I'm high

Ok, that was the end of this dumb shitpost. Hope ya got a kick out of it. Or not.

Wait

Shit

I should probably add an image so that I could look cool

Give me a sec

Yes, God of Yaoi.

Perfect for this.

See ya

[funkyllama]

Can I just say...between Arthur, Phil, and my Louis....Eloise has terrible luck in the relationship department

(Louis isn't looking that bad now is he lol)

omg- I forgot to answer this!

So, In My Humble Opinion: Arthur was her best "boyfriend," not only because I find him to be a very hot man, but also because he respected her without wanting to change her. Their break up, while kind of forced onto Elle, was entirely just. I think Eloise recognizes that now, seeing that he's been allowed at her events. Arthur jumped way too fast into wanting to be married and Eloise only realized after the breakup that she even liked that idea. He is still trying to get over her in his own story, which you can read on @prydainroyals. Louis, well. I don't know how I'd rank him in comparison. I think it's safe to say that if they weren't in the same circle, they would not of been with each other. Louis was very vocal in being there for a fun, not anything meaningful. Though, they did have the most chemistry of all her relationships and I feel as though, if they had not been forced apart, they could of had a good thing. Though, I think a happily ever after for them, like Eloise must have been hoping, plays into her naivety. Her reaction to learning that she was pregnant wasn't good, but she followed that up with hoping without doing or saying anything to anyone until it was too damn late. I don't mean to blame Eloise for everything wrong with that situationship, but Eloise was just making stupid decision after stupid decision. After looking back, I'm like why do ya'll like her?!?! If I was reading this story, I'd be rooting for Adrienne. lmaooo. That being said, Philippe is by far her worst partner. I'm genuinely shocked that so many people were rooting for them up until he went mask off with Freddy. Sure, he entered the story as Prince Fucking Charming, but c'mon now. He came upon her in an incredibly vunerable (ripped from S&S) moment and decided "I want her," no. That doesn't happen. His own father was vocally against their relationship, and not because of Eloise's stupidity in the last act. No, it was because Henri found his own son's actions so reprehensible that he lectured him loud enough for Viola to hear. Let us not forget that Viola, her best friend, did a 180 from actively encouraging her to being all, "ma'am please take a pause." OH AND---- they literally got engaged after the lowest point in their relationship, which left Eloise questioning if he even liked her?!?! Goodbye. Literally, cast that man into the fires of hell. He deserves worse, and his own daddy knows it. He's manipulating a grieving, first time mom, no thank you. No wonder he gave Freddy such an Ick. Philippe may be falling (in love) for her in his own way, and being a good stand in for the deadbeat mentioned above him, but that does not undermine his horribly manipulative and abusive actions.

@empiredesimparte has nothing to do with the evilness of Philippe's character, this is of my own making, please don't come for herrrrrrr. Also, go read mr Napoleon's coronation from the beginning, it is AMAZING. mentioning @armoricaroyalty bcs I did mention Freddy multiple times.

[weskers-master]

Stuff i forgot to mention in the prior “what music Wesker likes” post

GOTHIC. MUSIC. This music genre was growing exponentially in popularity in the 80s and 90s. It’s practically impossible he didn’t hear at least one darkwave/etherealwave song. Don’t question why i just know this much about music and who listens to what, i don’t know either. The gothic genres of darkwave and etherealwave are typically listened to by those who listen to other alternative genres as well so its likely that Wesker would.

Specific bands and artists i think he would like and my reasonings for some:

Queen: they’re just good. We all like Queen and you stupid if you don’t. Get offended.

The cure: do i need to explain? A proto-gothic band that made some hit songs, he has at LEAST heard of them

Depache mode: similar to the cure, he’s at least heard of them. Their music was and still is incredibly popular, even people outside the gothic and alternative scene have heard enjoy the silence.

Rammstein:i do believe he listens to metal, given my personality based assumption. Rammstein is a great stadium industrial metal band with a large following. Formed in the mid nineties, he has probably heard some of their music. I this he would definitely listen to was ich leiber

Beyoncé: she rose in popularity in the late nineties in destiny’s child and that mixed with the genre of music alone… i have already explained why i think he would listen to that. She gain her own following as time progressed and in certain he was involved in that fanbase.

Ninja sex party: HEAR ME OUT. We all have a comedy singer we like and i think he would like these guys, that is if he would have been alive to see it. Most of the music dose fall into 80s and 90s nostalgia type which would strike a chord with him most likely. They’re also very funny and some of their jokes are things i just think he would find funny. I know ots a stretch but hear. Me. Out.

AC/DC: once more, do i need to explain? Everyone, and i mean everyone agrees that they make good music and i think Wesker would too.

KISS: bro listens to “god gave rock and roll to you” and “i was made for loving you” as he drives to work. Change my mind.

Def lepard: a popular and great rock band from the 80s and 90s. Im hell bent he listens to them. They were extremely popular and even performed in the Freddy mercury memorial performance. They made many good song i think he would LOVE eg; photograph, love bites, women, rocket and kick.

[madcatdaderpydrawer-blog]

And thus, Lunara and Solstaire discover the ultimate joy in life: tickling Lunars. They both know what tickling is, but neither one has actually done any tickling before. Or been tickled. Peanut is their very first victim. Clipsy’s gonna have to stop them before they (mostly Lunara) accidentally tickle Peanut unconscious.

Piper is getting snuggled until Pyroclasm gets bored. They’re feeling talkative enough to mention that they usually drop kids off at the Daycare, because human kids are too delicate and breakable. But other DCAs are free game! Especially the dirty ones, (in this case referring to whatever’s probably leaking out of Clipsy’s broken ray) those ones are clearly homeless and up for grabs!

Sun awkwardly offers to help with the broken ray again. Clipsy gets told that he and Peanut can stay as long as they want. They can take the room they were making for Eclipse and Solar Flare, who have been bunking with Moon and KC. (Earth and Bloodmoon were sleeping in the theater, and Lunar’s been bunking with Sun and his cats).

Kidclipse can’t wait to introduce Peanut to his best friend and their sorta-step-brother-but-also-not-really, Gregory!

Torp just registers Clipsy and Peanut to the system, points at where the main console is, and then goes back to his day.

Good. For Antumbra, anyone who can tolerate his shit is getting attached to very quickly (yay abandonment issues and trauma). He’ll start doing little nice things for them, like covering Clipsy in a blanket if he looks tired, or leaving Peanut’s favorite snacks lying around. He’ll even be downright soft if they seem to be having bad days.

Just regular Eclipse stuff : ). Not that they’d recognize her as an Eclipse since she’s the one who looks like Eclipse and Glam Freddy had a kid together. Brief house tour before bed, including the warnings: -Don’t go downstairs because Monty lives there. -Everything they say is potentially being recorded because Vanny likes to bug their house. -Be careful because Circus Baby keeps potions in the fridge, including a thicc anime girl transformation potion and a human potion, and one of the water guns is loaded with a potion of forgetting. -Don’t touch Ennard’s Doritos or Baby’s icecream.

I forgot Honey! Honey Bakely and KC would adopt Peanut and Clipsy immediately. The Bloodmoon twins will be a bit grumbly and bully them a bit, and Eclipse will get jealous of Clipsy and be in denial about it and be extra mean to him and Peanut.

Peanut is just turned into hysterical giggly paste by them. He’s going to be a limp noodle by the time it’s over with. Clipsy finds it hilarious

Clipsy brings up that while it was technically right about them being homeless, they had literally just arrived so they had like zero time to acquire a home. Piper says that trying to apply logic is pointless.

He’d accept suns offer to fix the ray, since it’s definitely something that should be fixed even if it’s not super painful. It’s still rather annoying and overly sensitive in it’s damaged state.

Peanut gives Gregory a little pat on the head. He finds it cute they’re friends with a human!

Torp treats this as if it’s a typical Tuesday lmao

Ah yes the reverse psychology. If you can deal with the toxic shithead behavior then he will vibe with you. Like a tsundere XD

Clipsy doesn’t even want to know why they have a thicc anime girl potion. It’s honestly for the best he doesn’t, the answer would only scar him more.

Clipsy is not going to appreciate this other eclipse and will return his rudeness with his own snark and sarcasm, doing little things to annoy him. Like the petty shit he is.

[mutenized]

The Choice Bit of Calico - Chapter 2

Ship: Thomas Shelby x Reader Characters: Thomas Shelby, Billy Kimber, Ada Shelby, Polly Shelby, Finn Shelby, Arthur Shelby, John Shelby, mentions of Freddie Thorne Warning(s): mentions of blood, war, and violence (obviously), maybe a slow burn?, forbidden romance, inner conflict, heartache, rebellion. Intended smut. In this chapter there is a bit of time skipping; only 3 times I believe. A/N: Choice Bit of Calico was slang in the 1920s for a desirable woman. The prologue to this series can be found HERE and Chapter One can be found HERE. This is the first time I’ve written a fic in, like, a year. That also means I haven’t written since Helen McCrory passed away, so I was feeling EVERY feeling whilst putting my whole heart into this one. Enjoy! Synopsis: You are the sibling of Billy Kimber. Living with him in London, you heard of nursing classes offered at a church in Birmingham near where you and your older brother were born. It was during World War I and you wanted to do something to help the soldiers from your country as well as the allied countries. Living in your childhood home until you were sent back to London to work at the Veteran’s Hospital, you never forgot about the firey brunette who wanted to do the same as you. Keeping in touch, you both wrote letters back and forth until one fateful day you find yourself back in Birmingham, bags in hand, to take care of an ailing family member. Who knew the moment you got off the train your whole life would change?

Laughs filled the parlor as you and Polly caught up, her face never in a scowl which was usually transfixed on her features with the three brothers back from war. You had assumed correctly that they were running amuck, causing Polly to hop back into her motherly role that she lightly retired though never fully rid herself of since Ada and Finn were both around. Speaking of Ada, Polly had told you of the rebellious phase the young woman has currently found herself in. “She thinks she is sneaking out swiftly, but I can hear the pads of her feet hit the wood! Does she think I’m daft?” The woman’s voice came out exasperated as her hands toyed at the rim of her teacup, her head leaning back against the molding of the chair she rested in. With your lips kissing the gold trimmed teacup as a pause, you took in Polly’s comments and connected the dots with the miniscule number of details that Ada had sprinkled in her notes to you. “Well,” you pause as you place the cup down on its twin coaster, “maybe since her older brothers are back, she feels like she isn’t free to express her femininity and her freedom? I can relate to her struggle since I too have my older brother always breathing down my neck.” Tilting your head, you tried to play the devil’s advocate. That was a dangerous game to play within the Shelby household, but Polly didn’t seem to mind. However, the brothers who were being mentioned were lurking around the corner as not to be spotted. With a cigarette pursed between his lips, the blue eyed man clenched his jaw before pressing his head back against the wall he rested upon. Something about you set all of his alarms off, the anxiety filling his stomach as he felt kicks and warmth within it. The sensation wasn’t new but it hadn’t been felt in a while and, like a bloodhound hunting for its owner, Thomas was going to sniff you out. “Yes I know, darling, but Christ. You would think she would at least confide in me since I struggled the same as her. Whatever she might be doing, this family has a target on its back and we need her to be safe.” An earnestly spoken Polly leaned forward and placed her warm hand on your knee with a soft smile. You understood that look. The look of familial love, the type you longed for ever since Billy stopped seeing you as his kid sister but rather another thing in his life to worry about like you were a task. “But she will be grateful you’re here. Maybe then she won’t pussyfoot around and actually help with the family. Speaking of,” rising from her chair, the woman brushed her skirt out before turning to the doors of the parlor, “I think we owe you an explanation of what is going on. You were probably confused by the eyes on you as you came to the house.” Before you could respond, the door that you and Polly stood by swung open. A scowling Thomas stood in the doorway, steam practically coming out of his ears as his eyes darted between you and his aunt. “Pol, what do you think you’re doin’? Not introducin’ Y/N to what I think you’re about to head to.” His voice was gruff and dark, filled with warning which would’ve sent you into a spree of apologies if he was your brother talking to you. “That’s strictly family business. That’s up to me an’ I don’t feel like she can be trusted to know that.” Confusion and a bit of anger overtook you as you furrowed your brows at the older male whom towered over you, how dare he talk to Polly like that. Before his aunt could even muster a reply, you stepped forward and crossed your arms over your chest in defense. “Thomas, is it?” A sickly sweet tone dripped from your lips, the tone Polly knew all to well. It was the one you would use on the men at The Garrison when they tried to insinuate that only whores show up alone there. The tone that she admired in you, it signified your will to pull apart the stigma around women being seen as mere objects for men and weak minded. She knew by this point she couldn’t stop you which resulted in her raising her brows to her nephew and pursing her lips. The telltale Polly face that signified to the man that he fucked up royally. “Well, Thomas. When you and your brothers were away serving in the war, which I am grateful for seeing as we are no longer missing your lovely intelligence from this society, I helped Polly out with making sure everything was in order like I stated before. I even made sure to dress you and your brother’s beds just incase you were sent home that day. I helped Ada with the ever-present anxiety that your absence caused. I know bringing this up is not fair to you or your brothers but with me back in Small Heath, I will be around here more often so you must get used to my lovely presence. One that, for no reason in particular, you seem to despise though I just met you all of an hour ago.” Pressing your hands into the material of your dress, you rid yourself of any anxiety and frustration you had held before letting go of the breath you held. “I would like to know why men with flat caps stared at me with venom and lust as I walked up your front steps and why your flat caps,” pointing to the hats with shiny tips at the lip that hung on pegs in the hallway, “look just like the ones I saw as I walked over from my flat to yours.” Thomas, though never one to show emotion through his facial expressions, seemed visibly shocked. Observant, he noted of you, taking your words into account as he pursed his lips just like Polly did moments before. His blue orbs gazed between his aunt and you once more before raising his brows at Poly as if to say ‘well go on and tell her then.’ Though reluctantly, the man knew that if Polly vetted for you, you were someone who was loyal enough to let into their lives though he wasn’t fond of newcomers. Especially ones that were already so close to his family. With a hand on your shoulder, Polly explained to you the reason of the men with razors in the brim of their caps and the protection around their house. The air seemed to grow tense in the house as she and her nephews guided you to the hidden room of their house. The bidding room. Holy. Shit. Monaghan Boy. “So you do horse racing as well?” Tilting your head inquisitively, you look between Polly and the business in front of you. Of course Polly knew who your brother was as did Ada. That was something you couldn’t hide, especially over 4 years of knowing the pair. With a knowing glace, you knew Polly would keep your family name a secret as to not cause your head possibly being blown off by the hot-tempered men who acted on impulsivity. “Interesting. I don’t have much knowledge of the topic,” that wasn’t a lie. You wanted nothing to do with what your brother did seeing as he ran a gang that has caused more than one death scare, “but if you ever need help, I’m quite good at arithmetic. Got all exemplarities on my exams all my life in the topic.” That was your olive branch and Arthur noticed it from across the room, his eyes now focusing on the small group as he stood. “Pol, don’t we need another accountant to help out with our expenses? Maybe this lass can help out? I mean you say she’s part o’ the family, why not make ‘er one?” Arthur’s words shock seemingly everyone in the room, eyes darting between eyes, John sitting in the back corner with a smirk as he rolled his toothpick between his teeth. Thomas looked absolutely livid at the idea, going to speak with a wild look in his eyes before being cut off by a shrill gasp. Ada. “OH MY LORD!” The sweet girl that you knew all those years ago came rushing towards you, her bag and fur flung to the ground as she wrapped her long, pale arms around your figure. “Y/N You’re here?! Are you visiting? Why didn’t you tell me?” Slapping your arm playfully, the brunette then took count of the situation. The bidding room, you and Polly, Thomas, Arthur, and John. Oh god. “What did you lot do?! Did you fuck with the Kimbers?!” The joy you felt disintegrated as eyes snapped to you.

Well fuck.

[m1st1x]

RUIN Theory! - CB?

I noticed something that I also commented about in FuhNaff’s livestream. Spoilers for the RUIN dlc! (We should probably look into that—is RUIN an acronym?) 

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Gregory says “Now it’s free,” which is worryingly similar to Circus Baby / Elizabeth’s line “We need you so that we can leave!” (I swear there’s a line that says “be free” instead of “can leave” somewhere) I don’t know if I’m overthinking or something, but we’ve jumped on the crying child and Gregory parallel with just one line sooner than this one.

Stay with me here—what if that animatronic is Baby? The face is similar, and she would’ve been stuck down here for a long time. Its appearance would make sense too. Its eyes are red and the faceplate on the Blob doesn’t have that. Circus Baby is the only one we have a height for, standing at 7’2”. And when you see the animatronic next to Roxy, it seems to track. In addition, there were a bunch of references to Circus Baby—the collectibles and the teleporting plush babies. The only problem is the difference in endos. Scrap Baby only had one hand and a more springlock esc appearance, while this animatronic has both hands (though, ironically, the right one gets cut off—the same one that Scrap Baby didn’t have) and a thinner endo. I just think it’s odd.

There are plenty of things pointing towards that animatronic being the mimic including the fact that it goes to grab your head in its jumpscare and that it wears a costume on one of the endings (not to mention it mimicking Gregory’s voice), but if we follow along with the theories on Game Theory and FuhNaff, it could still be plausible. Who knows what could’ve happened after all this time? Maybe that animatronic is a weird amalgam of both programs (/souls?).

EDIT: there aren’t any Circus Baby or other Funtime parts in the gallery—where would the Blob have gotten the CB faceplate from? Plus, where the teleporting plush Babies are, there’s a chair facing a corner with tally marks covering those two walls. One of the plushies is even in the chair.

EDIT II: something I noticed is that you follow yellow and green lights when you’re getting to and running from the animatronic in the basement. Could it be a reference to Princess Quest or Golden Freddy? Maybe even Charlie?

EDIT III: the animatronic in the basement has two different hands. One is clawed and entirely made of dark metal, while the other (the one that got chopped off) is lighter in color and blunt. The clawed hand seems to be the same as Burntrap’s, which suggests that the animatronic took it (the rest of it doesn’t look like Burntrap at all, there are no other big similarities).

EDIT IV: I forgot to even mention the bit of hair that the animatronic seems to have, suggesting a more humanoid design. And something else is the fact that the animatronic’s teeth look like the teeth that Sun and Moon have behind their faceplate. It’s an odd detail—why would they have that anyways? Is it there to suggest that the animatronic is more of a Sun/Moon style? Maybe a broken prototype like the Freddy we see? I still think I’m going to stick with the animatronic being more connected to Circus Baby, but it’s still something to note. My best guess is that she took things from other animatronics around her to fix herself, possibly even damaging or destroying them in the process.

[cloudwhisper23]

bestie do you have a favorite Mike angst headcanon that you've written (or just come up with but not yet incorporated into a fic)?

A favorite Mike angst headcanon? Hmm. I don't have a particular one that I always go to (besides the obvious mess that is how Mike reacts to Evan's bite).

Although, in my New Body AU, I've thought a lot about different ways to provide angst to Michael's character, like making sure he's thoroughly traumatized by every incident happening in Freddy's once Evan gets bit. A kid goes missing? Mike somehow makes it his fault. A security guard is murdered by the animatronics? Mike's fault.

The bite is quite a mess in this AU, actually. Mike was being constantly bullied into doing whatever these other kids wanted (not to mention the abuse he takes from his mother), and so when Fredbear bites down, Mike does everything in his power to get his brother out alive. He succeeds, but there's that lasting guilt as he sits in his hospital bed. His father is in and out, checking on him before going to sit with Evan, and Elizabeth seems almost excited that he nearly killed Evan. It doesn't sit well, and things get worse when he actually gets home.

This is the AU where Mike murders his mom, and since that happens within the same month as the actual bite, Mike really starts to believe that he's a monster. He nearly killed his brother, and he quite literally caused his mother to fall and die, so his belief is well-reasoned at this point. And his best friend is nowhere to be found (courtesy of the fact that she died three years prior and is currently being rebuilt by his father and Henry), so she can't comfort him.

Mike has nightmares about every member of his family dying from now on. He sees Evan's limp corpse on the floor of that show stage, unmoving no matter how hard Mike cries. He sees the broken body of his father on the kitchen floor, having fallen because Mike forgot to clean up some kind of mess. He sees Elizabeth, dead at the bottom of the first floor stairs because he'd jokingly pushed her, and she was too small to catch herself (Mike is 8 years older than Elizabeth in this AU).

When the children start going missing, Mike sees their corpses in his mind too. He gets this idea that he should've prevented it, believing that everything was his fault. When the security guards start dying, Mike assumes they're taking the job too seriously, and they're going after the kidnapper, but something gets in the way. Mike irrationally believes that everything is his fault.

When Jeremy gets bit, it takes a big toll on him. Mike feels guilty for not being there, instead out celebrating Evan's 15th birthday. He suspects that someone tampered with the animatronics during that week he was gone, and he can't prove it. Scott gives him an employee to train, and he tells Mike to get over it. There was nothing he could've done. Mike doesn't believe that, so he carries on.

The location finally closes, and Mike spends most of his spare time at the hospital with Jeremy, guilty about the fact that the poor man lost an eye to Chica. He'll live, sure, but just like Evan, Mike can't let it go.

He contemplates dying constantly, and Evan's the only one who ever seems to get through to him. Evan's not mad about the bite. He knows it was an accident, and nothing would've happened (in his mind anyway. Oops, added Evan angst) if he had just trusted Mike to get him out again. Sure, it would've been terrifying, but Evan had deactivated the safety lever and gotten water into Fredbear's jaw, so really he blames himself for panicking.

Evan's nightmares have evolved during this time, and he can rarely sleep without someone else in the room anymore. Mike still feels guilty, and he's the one who stays with Evan during those nightmares. Their father has gone missing by this point, and Mike decides that the only things that matter now are his younger siblings.

When Freddy's reopens, Mike is livid. He still has a job with the company, and he works his night shifts the same way, except there's an added issue. Scott says the Classic animatronics are more sensitive than even the Toys had been, so Mike makes sure to get to work half an hour before his shift, to get Cassidy out of the building before midnight.

He ends up faking his death one night after the animatronics can't quite seem to kill him. Cassidy had been locked in there with him, and the animatronics got much more murderous for some odd reason (more on that when I write more of the actual excerpts). Mike vanishes with only a torn uniform and a massive pool of blood to indicate that he'd even gone to work that night.

He believes it's for the best that everyone thinks he's dead.

Now, this whole thing is getting really long (sorry about the long rambling about the New Body AU), so I'm just going to outright say it. One of Mike's worst nightmares comes true when he ends up trying to stop the murders at Freddy's. Permanently. Evan turns out to be the one member of his family that he did not kill, and it nearly destroys him.

To properly answer your question, I love to give Michael extreme guilt after Evan's bite. I don't always let Evan live (in fact I usually don't), but even in cases where it's not Mike's fault, he still blames himself. Michael always turns himself into that self-sacrificing guy who'd do anything for his remaining family and the missing kids. Until he realizes the true horrors of what his father does, that is. Maybe someday I'll explore the possibility of Mike specifically becoming a killer like his father, but who knows? The uneasy alliance with the missing kids to make sure nobody dies again (besides himself, of course), has so much angst potential, especially when I add Cassidy into the mix. She's my stand-in, since I always fail to write siblings that cannot forgive each other for anything.

[twenty-words-or-less]

Top 5 Worst Films of 2023

Yep, it's that time of year again where you're all subjected to wordier opinions of the films I either disliked or were indifferent to! I'll post the best list later on, but for now, here are the worst...

5. Mercy Falls

I appreciate British films being shown in cinemas. I appreciate this cost about £20 and a speck of dust to make. However, it’s incredibly dull and predictable. There isn’t much else to say about it.

4. The Flash

Only this low because I expected it to be this bad. The literal ‘worlds collide’ montage at the end was a great idea, but the waxy CGI reconstructions of Superman actors, living or dead, left a bad taste in my mouth. Ezra Miller’s laugh was annoying, and Sasha Calle and Michael Shannon were absolutely wasted.

3. Five Nights At Freddy's

How the fuck did Scott Cawthon fuck his own premise up? It should have been a simple bottle film that cost $10m at most. One guy. One room. Dodgy animatronics. Instead, we’ve got a protagonist who I wanted the animatronics to kill, sudden genre switches, subplots galore, and weird character decisions. The worst thing about it is that it didn’t even include the famous Toreador March. That would have improved the film somewhat.

2. Fast X

I saw it for a charity drive and I wish I’d doubled the target. This was physically painful to sit through. This hasn’t lodged from the no. 2 spot since I saw it back in May. I fully believe Daniela Melchior was tricked into doing this – she probably thought she was auditioning for a legitimate film. Jason Momoa apparently chose this film to actually act, and carried it the whole way through. Good thing he’s built as all get-out.

Honourable Mentions

Love Again: The best bits were Nick Jonas’s cameo and the sweet and funny montage over the end credits. Everything else is naff.

Assassin Club: This not having a Wiki page was probably the best way to insult it – arguably the best way to insult any film. Daniela Melchior had a terrible year. Hope 2024 is better for her.

Unwelcome: Completely forgot this existed, to be honest. Should tell you all you need to know.

And finally, the worst thing I saw this year...

1. A Good Person

This earned the great dishonour of not just being the worst thing I saw this year, but the worst thing I’ve seen in a long time. Old was bad, but it had the cave scene. Burning was terrible, but it had gorgeous cinematography. Shit, even the 365 Days films were bad, but they were at least easy to laugh at. Zach “Can’t Accept That Scrubs Ended Thirteen Years Ago” Braff’s latest effort A Good Person does not have a single redeeming thing about it. Not even the usually-reliable Florence Pugh could save it. Much like Fast X, this has not lodged from this spot since I saw it. It’s the first film to reach the “coveted” 0.25/5 rating on here, too. In East Asian languages such as Cantonese, the number four is closely associated with death. This is Braff’s fourth go at directing, and it bombed. I pray that it kills his career.

Thanks for reading! Best post coming soon.

~Mikey

[kestalsblog]

iCarly Reboot Season 3: Episode 1

I guess I'm carrying on my tradition of writing thoughts for the new iCarly episodes now that the third season has started. I'm not sure I'll do this for all the episodes, but I thought it'd be fun for the first one. Haven't watched the second one yet.

Overall, I really enjoyed the episode - got some genuine laughs from me because it just felt like such lighthearted, stupid humor for the most part.

-Of course I'm a sucker for romance, so I'm enjoying every bit of the Carly/Freddie setup, no matter how corny, but I particularly liked the aerial ribbon moment. I think normally the characters who are destined to be together would be in sync beautifully while the outsider (Pearl) flopped around clumsily, but seeing Carly and Freddie out of sync together was actually really heartwarming and sweet. Also suggested to me that Pearl will sail on just fine once her relationship with Freddie inevitably ends.

-I thought the weird fantasy YA subplot of the blonde girl "sister" was refreshingly funny. I'm used to characters like her getting oversexualized ditzy humor as their main thing, so I was really laughing when she pulled the strange voices. Surprising fun!

-The stalk of wheat joke also got a good laugh from me. As well as Spencer's quip about being too smart for therapy. (I'm sure we can all relate to feeling that way at points, as ridiculous as we realize it to be).

-Not too invested in the Millicent wedding plot line, but for the most part, her plots have not been all that interesting. I like her character much more than I did at the start though, so I hope she'll get something richer down the line. (Also, is it possible for a kid to officiate a wedding? Did I understand that right?)

-I don't have much interest in Paul as a character. He kind of just feels like "let's put Josh Peck in this show with Miranda again."

-It's still strange how not about iCarly this show is. It was good that Carly was mentioned to be an influencer again with the failed TV show, but it still feels like the writers forgot about the web show. Personally, I'm not that invested in that anyway, but still feels odd when it's literally the title and the whole launching point of the series.

Anyway, I'm excited for this season because I know Creddie will be happening. The ending Creddie scene was as mature as it needs to be for a goofy show that still wants to demonstrate these kids aren't kids anymore.

Also, it's just good to see Miranda again. I love her so much. She's so stunning and talented! (I don't care what anyone says; some of her old songs were BOPS too!)

[bisluthq]

I would love to know how close Paul actually is to all of them. I think him and Saoirse are pretty close because they’ve been seen hanging out a lot, she has called him a real friend (not a “Hollywood friend”) and she was one of the people he called in that standing up or sitting down interview. The other people he called were Daisy and his sister, and he showed their last text together. So I do think they’re pretty close and get along really well.

With all that said, I don’t know if he’s as close to Joe as he was when they were dating Taylor and Phoebe and Joe was doing CWF. The Sally Rooney thing died down and their relationships ended, so I don’t know how much they’ve stayed in contact?

When it comes to Jack and Paul, we know they hung out together in Australia. But then it felt like every time Saoirse was spotted out with Paul in 2022, Jack was somewhere else (when they hang out at Phoebe’s concert or the day The Outrun wrapped in Edinburgh and Jack was back in London). I do think it’s possible Jack was there a lot of the times they have been spotted together though. For example, they were spotted at a pub in London with Phoebe and I think it’s likely Jack was with them and the person who said it didn’t recognize him. I’m also confused by how many times Jack and Saoirse went to see a streetcar named desire:

1. Saoirse was spotted by someone at the play, it was posted on twitter and on deux. We don’t know if Jack was there because, again, people don’t recognize him

2. Jack was spotted by a fan arriving at Almeida, no mention of Saoirse

3. Jack and Saoirse were on deux’s spotted talking to Paul at the bar in Almeida after the play. It’s unclear whether this was the same day as 2, because I remember checking and the day Jack was there shouldn’t have made it to that week’s spotted, but maybe the person sent it a couple of days later and it made it to the next weeks spotted.

4. Some girls posted a selfie in the bathroom and you could see Saoirse washing her hands. They said they were there the same day as Saoirse but it didn’t say when they had been there. Could be the same day as the rest or a different day

It’s possible Saoirse went alone once and then went again with Jack, or it’s possible they went together like 4 times. Either way, they saw Paul a lot around that time.

Paul and Saoirse were also spotted walking together right around the time people thought her and Jack had broken up (April 2023) and I think they were spotted right around Halloween. We, again, don’t know if Jack was there or not. But we know Jack was there when they watched rugby and that’s when Paul and Jack started following each other. All in all, I do think Paul and Jack hang out together a lot and they’re probably good friends. I think they’re friends the same way Jack is friends with Lucy or Saoirse is friends with Tom, as in, I believe Paul is much closer to Saoirse but he’s friends with Jack too. He seems as obsessed with Jack as the rest of her friends (and friend’s boyfriends if we bring up Ciaran).

(I forgot to add that Saoirse was at a screening for all of us strangers that Paul hosted and it wouldn’t surprise me if Jack was also there).

They’re all so private though, so it’s hard to know how often they see each other/talk. But I also wouldn’t be surprised if Joe and Jack have hung out at some point without us knowing. Jack randomly said in an interview that he had seen Cillian recently, but he hadn’t really attended any event (publicly) so I don’t know where they could’ve talked. Freddie Fox also said he was friends with Jack and they’ve had lunch together a few times. So yeah, I think it’s possible Joe and Jack have had drinks without us knowing. It would less random than Saoirse going to a Florence concert with Daisy and Phoebe Dynevor or Saoirse going to lunch with Stella McCartney and Dakota Johnson (which happened at some point in 2021 and then they went to see her in The Tragedy of Macbeth).

I think that’s the difference Saoirse was referring to when she said Paul and her were actual friends though. A lot of those people are industry friends that she’s hung out with here and there, but none of them are actually proper friends

I agree with you but Paul and Joe do seem to be friends. They’ve been spotted hanging out since their respective breakups several times and given how private they are to me that suggests they’re legit friends. Which could also mean Joe hangs with Saoirse and Jack lol. There’s really no way to know.