#i follow people who are always online
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how do people even do things
#i follow people who are always online#they are always writing#they have nice themes#they work. studying#girl (gn) please tell me what am i doing wrong#i am torn between sleeping well or playing genshin#i see these people doing everything at once#do you guys even sleep?#v speaks
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OC
#my characters#mmofail#HIS name is Beta Burst but he is played by a woman named Haley#and shes chill correcting people that hes a she irl but also just doesnt mind which pronouns people use online#irl though shes a she/her through and through#also she tells one of her employees at work (shes a manager at a convenience store) to get a hobby or find a fun online game#cause he always looks super tired and he tells her he doesnt wanna socialize out of work in person people are tiring#and then hes like hmmmm a hobby or game hmmm#and then he gets the same game and goes on the same server and lets his sister design his character#while he naps then he just picks a name and chooses ETA 1400 bc he works overnight and if he logs in#he plans to log in at like 2pm so why not make that his name#however there is a guild owner who wants to collect all the greek letters (her own name in game is Omega Rising)#so she makes the executive decision to include eta 1400 and when he and beta are talking one day in game#hes like oh yeah im just playing cause my boss at work told me i needed a hobby#and beta is like oh shit thats me im the boss who told him he needs a hobby#so eta starts calling beta boss in game just like he calls her irl#and its just a nice lil friendship and shes happy when eta starts to make friends in the guild#he still has a lost lil puppy like following vibe when hes around boss but eta does do some growing socially#mostly with betas friends in the guild which are: a guy with no backbone and a guy playing a girl who doesnt tell anyone shes a he#anyway thank you thats my oc essay tags and i love beta and shes just really funny to me#bc she just is there to vibe and play pvp#which the horn lore is those are high ranking pvp rewards for heavy blade users#and when eta finds out the pvp reward for a healer is a bloodied crown#hes like please please please help me learn pvp that sounds really cool ill do my best boss
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Not only have several of my former classmates gotten married, just found out that now one is having a kid?? 😭😭 just reiterating: i cant believe some people my age are doing that dklsldls. Where do they find time to work/study AND develop intricate crown prince rudolf headcanons once they do that
#married people and parents still have hobbies yadda yadda. you dont need to tell me that kslsld its a joke#its interesting how strong an emotional reaction of Otherness i have to these types of news dkkdld. like its always 'good for them but i#dont think i could ever want this'#i mean im not opposed to gay marriage in my future depending on how life plays out but i would not want to do it to 'settle down' i think#dont necessarily want a big house a garden a golden retriever or a car 😭#and def no kids#i guess its partly a reaction to kind of.... idk at a younger age more people are more 'restless' like me and then many change their minds#so its invalidating to be 'left alone' when you used to have allies who could relate to your life choices/wishes haha#i think being gay complicates this... i used to think it was a blessing for making it less of an expectation but actually turns out soooo#many girls on dating apps and online have or really want kids 😭 and i'm just like. good for you but this doesnt work for me#ugh anyway yeah. you guys better still be following me for rudolf posting when i'm 45 with a mortgage and an evil day job x#xD#you can take time off from your spouse and kids to log onto tumblr com and look at this shit 🥰🥰 for md ☺️#me*
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The world may change at rapid paces that induce constant emotional whiplash, but at least there's one constant (pokemon xy anime discourse on twitter)
#I almost never use twitter for several reasons but I do check in suuuper rarely when I want to look at fanart#and there's always some sort of xy argument on my tl no matter who I follow (or don't). I find comfort in this.#it's an important part of the pokeani online ecosystem#and my part in the ecosystem is 'critter that lives under a rock and occasionally scuttles out for crumbs only to run back afterwards'.#anyways my take on xy is that it did some good things and some bad things like every other season of pokeani. idk.#i know that's an incredibly boring opinion but oh well#i've never been well situated to be passing judgment on which seasons are the highest quality anyways kdjskfjsdkf.#rocks and glass houses and all that jazz.#i mean i do have opinions on xy but i think my opinions are just kind of in the middle and boring?#there's some good and some bad and lots of missed potential. that's pokeani as a whole for you though.#I could make a pros/cons list for every season and I think it'd be pretty balanced at the end of the day tbh?#each season has good and bad things. it's just about finding which seasons have the good things you like!#maybe it's just the people pleasing middle-grounder in me but i really think all seasons are pretty even at the end of the day-#they just appeal to different people.#every season is someone's favorite and every season has haters. this is normal and fine.#but by all means keep the arguing going. people not arguing about xy would be an apocalypse-is-coming type of change honestly
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i’m pretty surprised that you can be in a fandom without really checking the tags regularly for new content or discussions that’s pretty impressive
ive got twitter for that and twitter has shown me enough as is
#snap chats#i dont even check twitter specifically for rgg its just that my algorithms been formed that way cause friends send me tweets#on the real though jvALEKJEKL ive always. how you say. played with dolls alone#so being alone online isnt hard or anything particularly 'impressive' to me its just how i roll#ive always lived in my head i guess- with my interests that is. its fun up there vlkeajkla#i still like to hear from other people of course but for the most part im happy with just myself im not all that pressed for others#i think its also just. i have. other interests? so i dont really think i want to look at One Particular Thing that day. at least for tumblr#i MIGHT just cause thats how the day goes but i dont think 'i feel like looking at rgg art today'#whatever i see I See and that'll be that yk i love a lot of things and think of a lot of things#evidently SOME things take a hold of me more than others- or ill wanna be more public bout it at least#but thats jsut cause i just feel SO MUCH for Whatever Thing It Is At The Time that i want to share it. so then i do jvlskjs#with that in mind can i really say im 'in' a fandom when i dont particularly interact with it LMAO#again always happy to do so but im like an estranged uncle if anything#come over once a year to drop gifts off then i leave. ill still respond to holiday cards though if theyre sent#also for discussions ill usually just talk to my brother about it since he'll usually be The Main Sponge for my rambling LOLOL#god's strongest soldier i promise i try to hold back but im afraid i feel my brain physically tickle my skull#my brother always has to watch in real time me be consumed by a piece of media. like its a symbiote its really funny#cause at this point we'll meet in the kitchen and ill start like 'you know whats really funny..'#and he'll just. 'ok so who's it about today' LIKE PLEAAAASSSEEE. anyways prepare for my ninth 90 minute lecture about This Character#i also have a friend that i talk about my interests with- not all the time but enough that im like. Yeah Im Good Talkin Bout This#like the dopamine in my brain is activated JUST enough when i get to have quick short convos bout it with her#honestly maybe i should use my blacklisted main and rb ALL of my sideblog posts there#just so the people following that can Also witness me be consumed in real time <- will not do this
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i think everyone on sunnytwt needs to be sat down so i can explain to them what basic human empathy is. and then maybe i put them in a blender until they agree to write meta about the characters instead of whether or not charlie day got facial reconstruction surgery.
#ada speaks#u do not exist in a vacuum and your words have the capability to harm others#celebrities may not see your tweets but your balding transmasc mutual and your follower who feels self conscious about her nose will#it is fucking bizarre the way these people conduct themselves online#really. really fucking weird man#and then you see them acting like ppl are 'defending rich white men'#instead of taking issue with the actual shit theyre saying#whether or not you think rcg has been 'under the knife' or not#a) how is this any of your business. you are not entitled to this info nor do you have a free pass to criticize someone's personal choice#b) ask yourself why you feel you need to critique alleged surgeries and how they stack up to imposed conventional beauty standards#c) you do not *own* them. you can have opinions on your own attraction to them but#a person getting plastic surgery or hair plugs or whatever is up to them. not you. if it helps to make them feel better then who cares.#just because it doesn't make them attractive to YOU doesn't mean its okay to point and laugh#if a trans guy got top surgery and it was 'botched' would you act like they were stupid for getting it in the first place?#if a trans woman decided she wanted to surgically shave her jaw would you shame her for that?#it's their body. it's not yours.#for the record i don't believe any of them have gotten work done but think its a stupid thing to speculate on regardless#ive watched family members go through plastic surgeries of varying success. ive seen them get botox and hair plugs and everything#normal everyday people do it and it's not always about vanity#it can be for gender reaffirming reasons (and yes this includes when cis people do it) to alleviate dysphoria#trying to point out alleged surgical alterations made is just. gross#not to mention that holy shit MOST of the shit ppl are saying is like. age. different hairstyles. different facial expressions.#maybe if these people actually watched the show theyd be able to see the gang in action instead of staring at pics like spot the difference
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the agony of enjoying MULTIPLE THINGS AT ONCE. How do people do it….
#part of me is like. ok is it actually the best move to just have separate sideblogs for every interest#cause I always feel weird and insecure abt being a multifandom blog. For some reason#I’m like aaa I’ll annoy people if I post things they’re not interested in! :( they’ll be disappointed in or frustrated in me!#and then the evil (read:normal) Kermit side of me is like girl it’s not that serious#you are not important enough for ppl to be worked up about your blogging habits lmao#if they’re annoyed they unfollow. swell. neato.#u can trust people to curate their own online experience. It’s not your job to post what they want you just do what you want. on ur own blog#do u follow#Sméagol me: yes ma’am#(I mentally switched to gollum instead of Kermit btw)#gollum me: it’s normal to like more than one thing. good even. and you will go through phases anyway#that’s life silly. You’ll have different moods at different times. and maybe completely different interests in the future#are you gonna make a new blog every time you enjoy something.#your interest are fluid but your identity is rooted in something beyond them. Right#you can just be a person who’s always changing but is also essentially the same. that’s humanity hun. do you understand#Sméagol me: yes#gollum: good#Sméagol: but also what if it’s hard to be friends with someone who has 3–4 interests#gollum: good grief
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tbh with tumblr rolling out the new notification system that explicitly tells you if you're mutuals with someone or not I think we should take this time to stop making such a big deal out of "being mutuals" in the first place and reintroduce terms like "friend" and "acquaintance" into our vocabularies
#like idk I literally don't care if I'm mutuals with someone??#how we interact establishes our relationship#following each other is just like an extra thing that is nice but doesn't mean we can't interact and be friends still#there are people on here I consider my friend who I do not follow it's not that deep#I have irl friends who don't follow me just bcs they don't vibe with the way I post#ever since the twitter peeps came back people have been using “mutual” a LOT and it's always kinda rubbed me weird#like all those posts like “me and the mutuals” like just say your friends you and your friends#that's what you mean#I just don't think we should put so much emphasis on being mutuals with someone it's like#can we all just be online friends again#I usually just say “my internet friends”#me not following someone does not mean I don't think of them as a friend or value their presence#and I don't expect everyone who likes me to follow me following is not a given#anyway this has been your “I'm getting old aren't I?” rant for the day
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AO3 is probably racking up donations rn so won't be long before the AO3 Truthers come out with "OTW faked the DDOS attack to get more money and defend them hosting freak shit." If they even wait for the site to go back up first, I'll be surprised.
Someone did point out that AO3's surge in popularity in the wake of this attack might be used to deflect from and derail the End OTW Racism campaign which... does unfortunately seem likely.
If you wanna know why fans of colour hate both antis and proshippers, this is why. Y'all are two sides of the same derailing silencing coin.
#'AO3 is an important fandom bastion against censorship'#and 'AO3's power base is middle class white people who have always shirked accountability to minorities and fans of colour'#are truths which can and should coexist#online fandoms have always been violent and hostile to fans of colour#this hasn't changed much over the 20 years I've been in them#it's just that now white women and queers make the right noises and pretend to listen#but zero interest understanding or follow-through#I don't even interact with fandoms anymore beyond consuming the fic and art and blogging meta by myself#Discord fan servers are tragically white and also discourse holes that either stay homogeneous or implode#if you enjoy fandoms you're probably abled and white lol#antis dni#proshippers can also shut up actually#none of you could separate a systemic issue from an interpersonal one if it bit you in the ass#fandom racism#fandom ableism#white privilege#white apologia#ao3#knee of huss
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i miss. the vibes of the rpc a few years back
#things just felt more. community based#people interacted more w each other on the dash and it felt like people were really there to interact and not just for a follower count#its probably rose colored glasses in a lot of ways bc thats when i was most active so thats when it was most enjoyable but#idk there was just something ab the days where u could have 50 followers and always be interacting w most of them#these days ill get 200 followers and the same 5 mutuals interacting all the time#and like. huge shoutout to them they know who they are but those people make this site worth being on#its just. idk its tiring when a lot of time is spent yelling into the void that is the dash and getting nothing back#and to some extent timezones r to blame and also my lack of writing but its. its not just a lately thing#its been getting worse for years and i think this is really the first time ive ever been like. not active on tumblr?#like im here but a couple of years ago the idea of me having a main blog and barely ever logging in or writing was absurd#i would be online and writing 24/7 if not here then on discord and wire#bc people were always around to interact with and now its just like. oh weve all grown up and become adults and no one has time#for each other anymore and its very. thats life thats how it is but it sucks idk#maybe this is 2 some extent projection also bc thats how things r irl rn but thats just. tahts not important
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Guys this may come as a surprise but as it turns out i just might need ADHD medication. Like. Badly. shocker, i know
#this is supposed to be read in a joking tone. sarcasm mostly.#Because if you've been following this blog then it is SO OBVIOUS#but yeah who would have guessed that looking at people who can do tiny doodles every day and going 'i could never do that' isnt normal#or the fact that posting on social media takes multiple hours of scripting in my head and the same amount of spoons as taking a shower#so the concept of regularly posting on a blog (hi there blog reader. this is the blog) is so cosmically far away for me that i literally#cant imagine all of the fandom people i love not being literal deities of the internet and algorithm conquerors who always know what to do#I HOPE THIS IS PUTTING IN PERSPECTIVE HOW BIG OF A REVELATION FOR ME THIS IS#I LITERALLY COULDNT COMPREHEND HOW PEOPLE COULD JUST “POST STUFF ON THE INTERNET” WITHOUT CAREFULLY CURATING IT AND THINKING ABOUT IT FOR#WEEKS AT A TIME BEFORE SHARING. MEMORIZING ALL THE TAGS TO PUT ON IT FOR PEOPLE TO SEE. How people could just post anything at all.#without wanting to give up before you even start#damn so. executive dysfunction sure fuckin is huh#i hope this helps give insight into the struggles i'm facing writing steady tracks or sharing content of my other aus online in the middle#of college/now having a job. its been hard but i havent been able to justify why until right now#so every time i post#please assume it is a cry for help 🤣#Tag Ramble#Not Submas
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read the scratch upd8. little too close to home
#tw vent#in tags at least#when i was reading hs like 3 ish years ago i related a lot to vriska and terezi cause i was in what i think was a really destructive#friendship qpp thing with my best friend online and a boy who liked both of us but mostly her.i was incredibly isolated irl as was my friend#and all my other online friends. i really should have seen that something bad could happen but i didnt and i got into a really deep#depression for like 3 months after but. my dearest friend girl decided to start befriending a 30 yo man and i. like an idiot. followed her#like a lovesick puppy even though all the warning bells were going off. we were in a gc with him that we texted in at all times of the day &#night and we shared selfies and dreams and our daily problems with isolation or hw or whatever. he got more and more creepy and my dearest#friend lashed out at him because she was scared while i sort of stopped talking as much because i was scared but. he still talked to me lots#in dms. he talked shit about the authority figures in our lives and isolated us from our ither online friends he made creepy picrews of me &#my friend getting married and he talked about moving in with us one day. we blocked him but sometimes he still tries to contact me. after it#blew up my friend left me and discord which is probably best and after my depression time i eventually got an irl friend or two but. i never#got over it. he did it to other people too we found out later. he always complimented me on being so sharp and talented and it was nice caus#it was really my first compliment from an adult who wasnt my family and. ig it got to my 14 yo head. anyways. the update made me cry. i had#read that it was bad and knew it would be bad for me specifically cause doc scratch always reminds me of that time in my life but. i didnt#think it would be that bad. i dont blame hs2 creators or anyone else and ig im glad i braved the storm but it was really painful to read#gonna go watch a more light hearted thing now.#if anyone sees this dw ill get over it#anyways. believe the warnings this update is very triggering and you can skip it if you want#glad i have like 5 followers rip
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got a buncha stuff for my switch and kirbys return to dream land deluxe. ... living life large ( i had a breakdown earlier this is a treat )
#aria talkz#im fine now i always come back very quickly. but that alone is weird bc it makes my emotions feel fake. whiplash is insane.#anyways i enjjoy kibby :) i always liked kirby as a franchise but i only had like#kirby superstar ultra. which ironically was too hard for me and too frustrating and i always wanted the 3ds era games#that were so out of reach and yet so close. but when the eshop and 3ds were fresh and active and not running off of life support#in like the 2010s. my family and me were very poor and had no money to buy shit like videogames xcept for my birtday#So i had SO many games i wanted on the 3ds i couldnt have bc it required money so i just had demos n physical games...#bc i only got one game per year on my birthday and it was usually pokemon bc they went annual arnd that time.#anyways uh thats not even super related dreamland is from the wii bu i hope triple deluxe or robobot get done so i can play em on th switch#ans finally start engaging with kirby in the way it was meant to be engaged with . Videogaem. And not shitty rp online.#<- not a vague to anyone who follows me although it is a vague to Someone.#i liek kibby :) i like magalor... i like metaknight and dedede...#truthfully i will reclaim everything from the people who tainted it for me. same with like fnf.#my enjoyment for things can never be ruined by a super shitty person itll just be Delayed due to memories but now i can enjoy n reclaim-#the shit that got tainted by (mostly one) but also multiple people freely and safely.#sorry for the vague vent tag ramble i just have lots of emotions esp today.#mocha would be a Scarfy . If u even car... If anyone care ab my ocs ..
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Recently developed such a bad platonic/friendship crush (idk the word for it... I think there's a word??) on this one person I've barely spoken to 😭 Idk what is is... I just want to be their buddy... I want to do silly activities............ Send me memes and read my fanfics............................
#I cannot express how much I know literally nothing about them#and yet. I must be pals#>:3 !!!#I have SO many mutuals from the dndads fandom that I want to be friends with tbh#like I can count like at least 5 who I've semi-Tumblr stalked for a little while over the past year or so#just bc I think they are cool....#like even before I started being active on Tumblr#or even FOLLOWING THEM on Tumblr#I would check their blogs#I'm sure this sounds insane I just really like making buddies. okay#but it's usually bc I think they're cool and I'm slightly intimidated by them#for this person.. idk they're just kinda easy to talk to! which is fun!!!#it's always hard for me to talk to people online 😭 I'm so much better at holding convos irl or at least over calls/voice memos#even out of my irls I only have a couple who are easy to text..... bc I overthink my messages before I send them lol#so it's always nice to find someone who is easy to talk to ^_^#not that I have really talked to them much at all#anyway sorry for the vaguepost lol#at least it's positive! and hopefully not too weird. I promise I just think you are interesting and cool 😭😭#okay I'm still procrastinating on schoolwork so I should probably go. byee#ellyposting#I will also say NOBODY HERE (about the main subject of this post)#/NBH !!#but I love you all dearly mwah
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i need friends /gen (slight rant in tags)
#xelle.txt#i noticed i don't really have a permanent circle of friends. at least irl#i have one online but they're also busy and i just can't dedicate my time to one friend group#i don't know - it's just the people i thought who were nice turned out to be the exact opposite#and when i found out about that i just kinda. lost interest in making any more friends#my partner is the only person i interact with on a daily basis. the irl friend group i was referring to earlier i'm not exactly close with-#-them either#i feel like if i didn't only give my time in nurturing my romantic relationship i would have done the same for my platonics too#that's still a problem of mine. my time management between love life and friends. heck i even got myself into an unsolvable problem because-#-of my inability to stay consistent#also my brain is kinda fried from reading 20+ pages so pardon any grammatical errors but yeah anyway#honestly i've been craving for interaction here. but i know i won't be active and it'd just be pointless#to gain more friends or followers. i don't exactly make content as consistently as i did before#the other day i had to vent to an ai (would you believe me if it was cha.tgpt) about my troubles because i had no one else to talk to lol#there's just so much going on irl 😭 ya girl's almost starting college and they're throwing so much tasks at us!!#and i feel very very stressed about it because they're usually done in groups i am ALWAYS the assigned leader#which gets exhausting especially when there are lazy members present#anyway#hopefully this weekend i get some time to cool off. but next week i'm back to grinding and working#lol i don't even think i'm in the top ranks anymore. i'm so burnt out.#this is what being an academic achiever gives you oops ZZHSIAHAHAJAHHS#imma sleep now 😭#idk you can just interact with me or recommend someone you know who self ships in the same medias i do#goodnight everypony 🫶#vent tw#rant tw
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how i feel lurking in that ultrakill discord servers channels all the time cuz i want to talk to people but theyre all so cool and im scaredddd
#owls nonsense#the Beast will get me if i make a fool of myself in general one more time#also kinda on topic but i just realized how fucking like awful i am at interacting with people. well like ive always known but like#its become very apparent these past 2 weeks#1st example: interacting with people online is hard. im not being normal enough and im scared im now Weird#2nd example: had to follow around a group of classmates like a lost puppy silently cuz everyone else left with their groups and#i was the only person left#so they were like just join us and said exactly zero words the whole time we were doing the activity#3rd example: also yesterday i had to work in pairs with this random ass like i think he was a junior or senior on a thing#and idk it felt awkward#and i tried to make small talk but i think im really doing that All Wrong.#i wanted to rip my hair out#SAD! ultrakill/hetalia/homestuck fan/tumblr user/speedcore/gabber listener who doesnt go outside cant interact with people
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