#gollum me: it’s normal to like more than one thing. good even. and you will go through phases anyway

[marimbles]

the agony of enjoying MULTIPLE THINGS AT ONCE. How do people do it….

[apatchedupdoll]

Hi! Lotus just showed up on my feed, and they have a neat concept! Can you tell me more about their alchemy and why they need the cauldron?

-🍁

So, short answer:

Lotus is a talented alchemist. Making potions, cookies, and anything edible. These things can make you run really fast, super strong, jump really high, make you smart, change you colors, all with a side affect of course. Lotus doesn't get to choose those side effects but he always warns his customers of the danger. Of course with the type of people Lotus hangs out with, he normally only makes drugs.

As for the cauldron. It 'created' him so he sees it as a sort of 'mother'. He is the only person who can communicate with it, it's super comfortable inside, and it wants to do alchemy as much as he does. The cauldron also is the key to his mystics. Without a cauldron, Lotus has nothing. He can't manifest his book, he can't create his giant spoon, and he can't even lift up a bean. Big sad. You could say the cauldron is the source of Lotus' magic!

Well that hopefully answers your questions, of course if you want to know more there's plenty under the cut! With pictures!

Haha! My next victim! Listen up! There's a quiz at the end!

There are four types of alchemy. Warrior alchemists: What Draxum is. Using alchemy to fight, make weapons, get physical and create things that are more physical magic than flare magic; Magic alchemy: magic alchemy isn't a completely accurate name as beasts and warriors use magic too. It's just a easier to call it that for now. These alchemists are what your wizard, witch, sorcerers and the like are under. Unlike warrior alchemists, Magic alchemists aren't likely to use their alchemy for straight fighting, and instead of physical magic they use flare magic; Then there's humans alchemy: basically human medicine, chemistry and all that shabang. Humans are just so different and create things so differently than yokai that they get their own category. Considering they don't use any magic it's the weakest of the four, but most likely to stand the test of time and much more reliable. This also means humans have a harder time branching out into other alchemy types, but not impossible. April would fit into this section if she wanted to go into alchemy. Leo and Donnie would also go under here since everyone likes making them medics of the group; Finally we have Beast Alchemy: alchembeasts, to put it short, are made from alchemy itself. They're much rarer than other alchemists, and hide in dark hard to reach places since they go all gollum for the cauldron they were born from. Most alchembeasts will get hostile if you get too close unless you bring things to trade or to make into a potion you need. An entire alchembeast's being is to do alchemy. They are the answer to the, can someone make art just for the sake of art, question. But for alchemy. That's what Lotus is;

Have YOU ever wanted to become an alchembeast?

Well here's how!

First step! Find a conscious cauldron!

Second step! Complement the cauldron!

Third step! You'll like this one! Start a fire under the cauldron!

Fourth step! Almost there! Talk to the cauldron while you wait for it to warm up. Make pleasantries! Complement the cauldron! Have tea with the cauldron! Get the cauldron to like you.

Final step! You'll know you're ready for this step when putting a piece of paper against the cauldron catches the paper on fire! Once it's ready, get in.

Make sure to compliment the cauldron as you wait.

...

So what is a conscious cauldron? Simply put, a cauldron with a consciousness. No one really knows why or how, but cauldrons will just have consciousness. At least that's what the alchembeasts we interviewed said. But! The older the cauldron the more likely it will have consciousness. More decorated cauldrons also have a good chance too. Of course, just because a cauldron is old or pretty doesn't mean it will have a consciousness! Did you know the oldest cauldron ever found doesn't have a consciousness? Or at least we can't find anyone that it likes! Hahah!

Cauldrons are actually pretty lonely, so when they do get someone they like they keep them forever! Cauldrons will mold this person into what they want. While the person will stay mostly the same, they will have differences like changes of color, new accessories, and just a tad bit of body morphing. Lotus for example has hair now, and pink scales! Whatever the cauldron doesn't need, it packs it all into this nice orb the alchembeast uses to suck up smoke and toxic fumes made from the cauldron. This orb also turns detached body parts of the alchembeast into stone.

Another cool thing, once an alchembeast is made, the beast can hear what the cauldron wants to say! After the rebirth, beasts become driven to find or make a den, hoard ingredients, and create.

While most changes on an alchembeast are chosen through unknown means, there are certain parts that always transform.

The eyes get bigger, changing into the cauldron's preferred color. The pupils can expand to fill about 80% of the eye. The iris, after changing color, can turn like a dial to help "focus in and change settings," most alchembeasts put it simply. Although apparently it's more complicated than that and none of the alchembeasts would elaborate on the complexities. Nevertheless, with their new eyes they can now see ingredients better and even what stuff is made out of. Although one downside is that alchembeasts can only see one color, but with enough variations of that color to where it doesn't harshly affect them. Occasionally alchembeasts will get two colors to work with... So Lotus has tritanopia.

Another thing that changes is the mouth. It get bigger, the teeth change to help tear or crack things open, basically used as a tool to get things open. The tongue gets short, just barely sticks out of the mouth, and is more of a platform than anything. It's good for holding and tasting things. I like to think of them like a chain chomp in marrio. Not thoughts, just bite.

Then we have the skin! Lotus was already grey before turning into an alchembeast, so the only difference was the hardness of his scales. Have you ever punched packed dirt? That's what Lotus' skin is like. This to say Lotus isn't the strongest alchembeast out there. In fact some alchembeast skin is stone or even obsidian. It all depends on the base used to make the alchembeast. However, all alchembeast skin can create a spark when smacked together hard enough. If Lotus claps he creates fire crackers which can start a fire. This is so there is always a way to make a fire.

So what's inside an alchembeast? Basically molten color. They are the definition of head empty. If you cut an alchembeast's arm off (I don't recommend it they get pretty angry) you'll see the molten color. Basically the life blood and everything they are made of. If an alchembeast is taking a bath, they'll lack the outer layer. Some people say it's an alchembeast's spirit form. Well, that's mostly true.

An alchembeast's spirit form is like their soul being solidified into lava. That lava, with time, gets cooled down and covered with hardened lava.

So let's get back to that arm. The arm will cool off and become solid dirt or stone. But the alchembeast can grab that arm and take a bath with it to get it back on. Many alchembeasts take baths to keep in shape.

Technically, alchembeasts don't have to do this, but they do it anyways as remnants of their old bodies. Alchembeasts can eat, breath, drink, and even use the bathroom like other yokai.

Last thing I'll write for this post is the book. The book is basically an alchembeast's memory. While they can remember any recipe with less than three ingredients, anything more complex than that and they keep it in their alchemy book. All alchemists, no matter from what sector, have an alchemy book. For some it's decoration, but for most people it's just convenient that way. Even Draxum has an alchemy book in the Mama's Mutts au. Humans just... humans can open google. Anyways.

While most people's books need to be stored in a safe place, an alchembeast's book can go in and out of existence. It keeps it from getting stolen or destroyed, making the only way to get an alchembeast's book is if you trade for it. Alchembeasts, especially young ones, like to trade books with other alchemists in an attempt to get more recipes or trade recipes for other ones. Of course this also means that if the cauldron is destroyed or is too far away, the alchembeast is out of luck.

If you made it this far, thanks for reading. I really like to make things and I'm happy I could have your time. At some point I want to write Mama's Mutts, but that will come after OWHYBB since OWHYBB has gotten so big already.

Welp, I'm going back under my rock.

YOU DIDN'T THINK I FORGOT ABOUT THE QUIZ DID YOU!?!?!?

ONE QUESTION

How do you know if a cauldron has a consciousness?

GOODLUCK

:)

[kichimiangra]

You mentioned that you might hypothetically write a story for Digimon Ghost Game. What would be the plot of that potential fanfic?

I mean, I probably won't actually write it because me and writing don't always get along.... it's why I have more art than text for Nannersverse at this point. I'm just trying to force myself to write more for the sake of being able to shit out scripts for comics quicker. Nannersverse would have totally ended up a comic if I didn't stop myself! Then it would take so long that it would eventually get set on the backburner as another unfinished comic :<

BUT!

If I did do a Ghost Game fic it would probably be an attempt at a fictional "Season 2" where I collect all the loose ends or things I personally would want to see expanded on, so the main main plot would be a whole "Gulus can't count, the endbringer is coming and it's only been 2 years" but opening with a few episodic chapters that feel like episodes to establish how the world is now that Digimon are kinda an open thing and not a secret, how people reac to their existance. and what the GG Gangs normal lives have been since then. Maybe Jellymon and Angoramon have hit that point in their development by now that they no longer default to Rookie form, but are permanently Champions to show that even if it's only been 2 years the relationship to their humans have had a substantial effect on their growth? But more importantly because I'm bias as fuck, the early chapter highlights would be on specifically how Hiro and Gammamon's lives are effected by the constant existence of Big brother Gulus popping up unannounced for almost anything, going from who was originally a background character in their lives to a constant element needing getting used to, such as watching Gammamon seemingly hold a two way conversation with himself with only the black eyes being an indicator he isn't going full Gollum. Plus the fun that they are trying to get Gulus to be good but he is VERY resistant to behaving good.

"The Plot" would eventually show up and the episodic chapters would end to focus instead on a serialized narrative of trying to put an end to the end bringer, maybe it kills or captures Quantumon? It wouldn't be a fast arrival, Maybe the Gulus Virus that had been going around the digital world was technically caused by the end bringer (So like, back on Krypton Gulus was just a normal Gammamon before he himself got infected, but instead of 'infection' he 'devoured' the virus, writing it into his own digital code thus birthing his permanent evolution into Gulusgammamon) and with the virus spreading around the digimon in both the digital and human worlds all eyes are on Hiro, Gamma, and Gulus as nobody really trusts Gulus to not be the active cause of this spreading virus, with the only one believing in him being Hiro and Gamma? This way later there can be like... the narrative buddy fight, so to speak. (Though I don't think Hiro would buddy fight :/ He's so passive...)

I'd have to chew on it a bit more to think of what I would do for "The Plot-Plot" but I do know I would want a Huge amount of focus to be on Hiro and his two Gamma's, as what Ghost Game did well was it's smaller personal character moments and also I'm bias as fuck.

-------------------

About a week after your original ask of "If I wrote a digimon fic what would it be?" and my answer was GG but only if I found there was a story that I wanted to tell with the characters, I remembered that there actually WAS a digimon fic I had considered writing but it was also in a "still chewing on it" point of existence, but I had already answered the ask so cuz psuedo on topic I'll add it here!

A while Back KarnEX did a video discussing the early concept for Digimon Frontier I found myself biting my lip because I liked the original idea, so I had started ideating the vague idea of a digimon fic using the concept. (Although once again my brain is like "But what if.... comic...?")

A report is seen on the tv about 'more' children/teens/whatevs going missing, establishing an ongoing crisis. The Protag is going somewhere or something or whatever maybe a travelling circus or music show or SOMETHING to get a moderate group of kids in a single place and a group of Digimon appear and kidnap protag and the other kids; isekai'ing them to the digital world (though the kids don't know they're not in kansas anymore yet.) end of setup.

Here in the digital world for the first act, it follows a Ratchet and Clank: Deadlocked plot: They have been kidnapped by the Digimon who work for a gladitory arena and are being forced to compete for the entertainment and profit of the arena owners (Captialism is the true villain lol). The Arena has Digimon competetors but the arena has found that the more interesting fights come from capturing humans and making them Fuse/Biomerge evolve with a digimon competitor, many of which have ALSO been forced into the arena against their will. From there protag ends up meeting their partner and it becomse kinda like a tournament fighter shounen manga as protag meets other competetors and their own issues trying to survive the arena (characters and storylines like "The Pacifist won't fight but has to learn it's okay sometimes" or the "Dog eat dog competitor" or "The Competitor who is a cinnamon role paired up with a bad or abusive human/digimon partner" etc.) Eventually after the first arena tournament round ends and the second begins; round two requires team fighting and protag manages to create a team of merry misfits and their digimon partners that he befriended/ gained the respect of during round one. They start realizing that they think they can escape the arena via a very specific escape route and try to get back to civilization and call the police on this child-monster-battle-thing. Most of their group get's out, accidentally leaving one of their own behind, maybe there's a forced "Dark Biomerge Digivolution" forced upon the kid or maybe there's a "They left you behind like bad friends!" or maybe there's a "He stayed behind for a reason!" I dunno this character is probably the Ken/Matt/Rika/that one friend who has baggage that digimon likes to have. It's a good character trait I love it.

Now that (most) of the main group has escaped the arena the second act begins where they are effectively let loose out in the digital world, realize that they infact got isekai'd, maybe they have to collect some kind of Macguffins? Maybe the arena is actually run by Satanists summoning the Digital Devil? either way the arena was bad but it was all a front for something worse and the kids need to find a way to stop it, save the other competetors in the arena and go home without the world being destroyed all while some drama plot is being set up with the left behind character. I don't have all the bugs worked out with the second act, I just know it's the big adventure act where they get to explore the whole open digital world while realizing just how close they were to something very very bad happenning to them back at the arena, but also how once you get out of the corruption of the arena this world is beautiful and worth saving.

Act three would be finishing up anything that needs to be done in the overworld, maybe a classic "I have the chance to abandon my friends and go home alone" plot of temptation the the protag gives up and then return to the arena for a final showdown and liberation of the other humans and digimon. Just finishing stuff up y'know.

It's an Idea that could be told with completely original characters but could also be fun to make all the missing kids into known characters from the franchises Anime/Manga/Games/ etc., not in like.... a Xros wars "All the protags are visiting the episode from their own worlds" way but in a "This universe's version of the character" way. Y'know full AU. Also I could put Jerri there and then NOT kill her Leomon.....

Also I had an idea for a mysterious Arena Champion who is a baddass but you learn that they're not in sync in the fusion, the Digimon is repressing their human and steering the whole fusion themselves because they aren't gonna let their human, who is too nice, to get themselves killed so they do what they have to do, repressing the human part of the biomerge in order to take all the hardship themselves. Was gonna consider Koichi from Frontier but I don't think I can do much more than Frontier already did with him and make it interesting. Was gonna consider Ken and Wormmon, having Wormmon repress Ken in the fusion in order to protect him and do the bad stuff himself or vise versa. But then I watched Ghost Game and ngl Hiro with Gamma and Gulus as the champion where Gulus convinced Gamma to help repress and placate Hiro in the fusion so Gulus can fly the plane because he thinks the other two are so soft it'll get them all killed sounds fun and I am biased as fuck.

[thatscarletflycatcher]

It has, definitely, gotten long.

If we are strictly talking about good vs bad writing, factoring in the motivations of the writers at best confuses the subject.

I don't see how. Changes are motivated, and the ones that have motivations/intentions are the writers. The author is dead, but not that dead.

And the Osgiliath plot/Faramir's character assassination does fulfill two important things in the overall story. 1) it introduces us to Gondor and the hopelessness that is seeping into the very bones of that country. Similar to the plot with the mom and her two kids in Rohan. 2) We have seen Smeagol banish Gollum, and now he needs a reason to welcome him back in order to betray Frodo and Sam. (again, not a change I necessarily like, but there is still a reason for it within the context of the movie).

1 has already been accomplished in part by Boromir's plot (you may even include the flashbacks, if you want, as reinforcement) and then later on in RotK far more effectively by seeing how the people of Minas Tirith themselves and not just a group of warriors sees it. 2) is accomplished already by Frodo negotiating with Faramir for Gollum's life; Faramir could have let Frodo and Sam go the following day. Gollum's return is marked by Smeagol feeling betrayed because he gets a beating when Frodo promised him it would be okay.

The problem with the idea that Faramir seeing Frodo suffer makes him willing to go from "I don't give a shit I want my dad's love whatever the cost" to "then get me killed" is not enough. Nobody in that level of "fuck you, got mine" mentality does that 180 by seeing another suffer, because they just cannot see the suffering of others as being as important as their own. If the point is that he sees what the ring itself does to others, then he already had the clear notion that Boromir died because of his thirst for the power of the ring, and would have had that change of heart earlier on. If the justification is the corrupting power of the ring itself, that would turn a normally honorable, gracious, generous, selfless man into the character we see in TTT, then there's no way in hell Aragorn, who in these movies starts as a deeply insecure man who thinks most of humanity is not worth the bother, would have resisted the power of the Ring in FotR.

It's not a well written character arc when there's no proportion between the event that causes change and the change that happens. I suppose we'll have to agree to disagree here.

And then the hopelessness that is permeating the very bones of the country finally gets to Faramir, and he does something rash, desperate, and hopeless.

No, Faramir is a captain and Denethor is the ruler and he has to obey what he's commanded to do. Doing otherwise would be treason. That Gandalf pleads with him on the contrary is one of those points in which the screenplay does not understand ideas from the book. There's a reason why Pippin only goes against Denethor's wishes in the books once he has been released from his vows to him. Vows and the curses associated with their breaking have such a power in this universe that they can stop a full army from resting in peace because of oath-breaking. At best your reading is a very, very generous, but doesn't go farther than conjecture. And ultimately, making Faramir suicidal in the same scheme that makes Denethor suicidal completely undermines the ways in which they are narrative foils, and contradicts his hopeful comments to Eowyn during the battle of the black gate.

The closest we get to that being even implied is when Elrond tells Arwen "if Aragorn become king and everything you hoped for comes to pass", but it's clear that that's just what Arwen is hoping for. Otherwise he wouldn't be trying so hard to persuade her to leave, because since he genuinely thinks Aragorn isn't coming back then if she cannot marry him unless he becomes king there is no point to having that conversation in the first place.

You are making a whole lot of assumptions there. Mainly because if all Arwen wants is Aragorn's love, then his being king is irrelevant and they could have married before; if otherwise she won't marry him unless he's king, then this isn't really the love beyond space and time it is supposed to be. Elrond trying to persuade Arwen to leave has as much to do with his lack of hope that Aragorn will make it as it does with the fact that even if he succeeds and becomes king, he's a mortal, who will die and leave her behind where she'll have to endure sollitude for a long long time before she finally fades away. There's even a full beautifully shot sequence illustrating this point in a sort of flash-forward of Arwen grieving at king!Aragorn's tomb.

if movie!Aragorn is Faramir in an Aragorn hat

Mmm, no, movie Aragorn is also an insecure, depressive and dissillusioned with humanity person. That's not who Faramir is.

Aragorn doesn't return to Helms Deep because Arwen magically helps him when he's close to death. He would have returned (if he survived) either way.

And you know this because...? If Aragorn was determined to die with the Rohirrim before the Warg attack, then the Warg attack does not serve the purpose of giving him an inflexion point where he has a choice to leave or to go back. Which was a idea I let pass last time, but that's not really a choice unless leaving your friends behind, "fuck'em" is considered a moral choice at all.

Literally this is the first time I've ever seen anybody even imply that Arwen helping him is his motivation to go Helm's Deep, so I do have to call BS on that one. Just because she's there doesn't mean she's his motivation.

If you cannot see a clear cinematic parallel between that scene and Galadriel encouraging Frodo to keep going in RotK, I don't know what to tell you. She's just watching over him and happens to have this communication at random just now. No motivation of encouragement at all. Just Arwen saying hi.

I really don't see why Elrond having as his motivation his love of father for Arwen disproves that Aragorn's love for Arwen is a motivation for him in these movies. One thing does not follow the other.

Also, it's??? good writing??? to allow characters to grieve and react to things, even if we know that they're wrong. We know Gandalf is going to come back, but the Fellowship still gets plenty of time to grieve a perceived loss. So Gimli Eowyn and Legolas are allowed to grieve a perceived loss after Aragorn falls/is separated. That's characterization, not about fooling the audience.

You said it wasn't about faking out his death, that he is just separated, but other characters assuming he's dead and grieving him as dead makes it about his death. His survival is treated as a plot twist by the narrative. The movie is made for us, and we are supposed to go through the same emotional rollercoaster the characters are. At this point I feel you are being obtuse and unwilling to concede any points.

And Aragorn being separated from everybody to scout is rather important, because it allows for the all-important buildup and tension of preparing for the battle. Rohan has absolutely no reason to have scouts out because Theoden, having just had Saruman exorcised from him, is trying to protect his people by fleeing to a stronghold. They are still in the "flee from the bad guy" part of the plan. Once they're settled in the stronghold they'll probably send out people to scout the area, but Aragorn returns far earlier than that would have happened, just giving them at least some warning.

The tension of preparing for the battle started brewing at the very beginning of TTT with Theodred's death. Saruman has attacked and killed the prince of Rohan and therefore has declared war on Rohan. Aragorn and Gandalf suggest the dumbass idea that Theoden should fight Saruman in open field because Saruman will follow Theoden to Helm's Deep, which is, apparently, in the movies, within a day's march from Edoras. If Saruman can strike Edoras in two days, it won't take him more than three to strike Helm's Deep. You don't need scouts for this. (Theoden would, however, had scouts precede his column fleeing precisely to be forewarned of possible attacks, like the warg one, at his most vulnerable point. But then everyone in these movies sucks at strategy when the story isn't sticking to the strategy of the books because the writers suck at strategy and basic knowledge of pre modern warfare).

"if I can't have love, I shall have renown". And in gaining renown, she stops feeling that she needs the love. And then enter Faramir (in the extended cut), who offers her the promise of a love that she can grow into.

This is speculation that has no explicit support in the script. She kills the Witch King, goes unconscious, Eomer finds her, Aragorn washes her arm, she chats with Faramir and he tells her he has hope, and then they are married. You are filling in the gaps with your knowledge of the books, and whatever the movie gives (and this we are counting the extended editions) shows a huge imbalance between the set up and the payoff. Which is careless writing for a trilogy that was written and made as a block project.

I'm pointing out that as somebody who seems disgruntled that the movies focus too much on the war aspect, your solution seems to include focusing on it even more and basically ignoring Frodo and Sam. Your "bomb under the table" solution misses the point of the story in the same way that the Hunger Games movies promoting the movies via the love triangle misses the point of the story.

???? you completely misunderstand what I mean by glorification of war. The movies are structured as war epics, where the central pieces are the battles being fought, and to which a huge part of the screentime is devoted. Tolkien, who has lived war, understands that battles aren't exciting and glamorous and pieces of action to marvel at. They are sad necessary evils in a fallen world, and essentially banal because evil is the active force of nothing. In this sense the extensive use of Nazi propaganda iconography used by the movie to represent the bad guys is sort of ironic: we are seeing these armies as the nazis wanted to be seen by others, enveloped in the mysticism of the aesthetics of power.

Focosing on the characters we know, their feelings, their relationships, their hope and fear about Frodo and Sam's journey and their longing to see them again is not glorification of war. And it's also not ignoring Frodo and Sam. If we can have character after character after character repeting ad nauseam in TTT that "there's no hope" "it's hopeless", then sure as hell we can have characters remember Frodo and Sam several times to cut down on all the times we show Frodo and Sam making progress through Mordor. And in general, if you aren't making of the battle of the Pelennor Fields this long centerpiece of the plot of RotK, you don't need to drag that much plot from TTT into RotK.

A huge part of it is because of how much story there is and how much it depends on lore that you can't even fit into a 12 hour trilogy.

The LotR radio drama managed to include much more of the events and introduce much less changes to characters and plot in the same runtime. Which isn't to make a point that it is the same as writing scripts for movies, but it's not as impossible as some people make it sound, just because, IDK, Bakshi couldn't do in two hours what PJ did in six. Besides the fact that the things we are discussing here are not heavily dependent on deep LotR lore.

I talked about this because you brought up the "well, this is good writing because they used to say LotR was inadaptable [implying THE reason why it was considered so was the impossibility of writing a script that could possibly be faithful to the story of the books]".

Every once in a while I think about how the love and iconic status the PJ LotR movies receive has so little to do with its value as an adaptation. People love it for the music, the visuals, the love and care put into costumes and props, the enthusiasm and talent of the cast and how they contributed to enrich the production... but you don't really hear people talking about how good the writing or the editing is. About 95% of all modifications, cuts, and additions done to the source material are not good (I'd argue that the writing of Boromir, specially in FotR is good... the addition of some of the Arwen and Aragorn plot... Mmmm... Sam's speech in Osgiliath? yeah, I think that's it); Denethor the cartoon villain? Legolas the OP? Gilmli the gross comic relief baffoon? Daddy issues Faramir? Frodo the fainting damsel? The fakeout death of Aragorn in TTT? All downgrades to the original story. Because the writing of this movies time and time again misses the points of the works it is adapting. It glorifies war. It sacrifices characterization to cliches (we need comic relief idiots, we need a big hero protagonist that is always right and never wrong and nobody is at his level (Aragorn), we need an everyman character and his friends to be all apparently 20somethings because that's the age characters in fantasy are, we need more tension, more, MORE, we need the threat to be constant and infallible and unavoidable...).

The writing of the LotR movie trilogy, on what it has of original, is mostly bad. Everything else is just so so so good.

[hopeless-eccentric]

ok so now i actually have the energy to address this! let’s talk about boromir

i think my biggest issue with the way boromir gets characterized is that you see a lot of 1) prideful, near-spoiled cautionary tale characterization or 2) least “moral” member of the fellowship characterization, and i really just dont see either of them. if anything, i find him to be a very moving character with complex motivations that unfortunately get missed a lot because theyre not incredibly blatant and a bit hidden in the appendices

so boromir was raised to be an heir of what we know denethor sees as their kingdom, and faramir even mentions a young boromir asking why the stewards weren’t just considered kings after 1000ish years. a lot of what comes off as “pride” isnt just this guy being a dick, it’s directly what he’s been raised to think. he’s spent years learning how to be a good leader of a country he sees no reason not to lead. i wont deny he’s a proud character, but his reaction makes sense from someone raised to see this country as his responsibility. he’s not just gonna leave it the hands of some guy

to dig into that more, we know from the appendices that as a kid, boromir was his brother’s “protector” (the placement of this passage suggests that this may have been from their father, though it’s possible that faramir was just an incredibly bullyable child), but assuming either, he’s spent most of his life singlehandedly keeping what he loves safe. for faramir, he wouldve been his only supportive family after the death of his mother, and with the whole “best man in gondor” title going on, it doesnt seem like he’s in a place to get a whole lot of support or help when he needs it. im not saying boromir’s got older sister syndrome, but--

another thing along that line that pisses me off. especially when two children are close, favoritism towards one kid and maltreatment of another is going to fuck BOTH of them up. for one thing, if one child is constantly praised for successes and the other is constantly berated for failures, how supported or able to ask for help do you think kid A is gonna be? that is not a way to raise a kid if you want them to be able to handle pressure or failure normally 

as for the ring, this is a guy who’s got the weight of a nation on his shoulders. if this is the weapon that could singlehandedly save his home and his people and he just passes up on it? if the world ends and he couldve stopped it? that’s horrifying, on top of the fact that boromir’s probably got some nasty ingrained issues with failure from his childhood

and what REALLY gets me is the attitude that boromir was somehow “more evil” than the other party members for being taken over by the ring. resisting the ring is treated as one of the best markers of heroism throughout the text (galadriel, gandalf, faramir, etc), and boromir cant pull it off immediately, but he DOES IT. even in his last words, he tells aragorn he failed, but aragorn replies “no, you have conquered.” he’s talking about the ring man! boromir’s not necessarily naturally the most susceptible to the ring, he’s just more psychologically worn down than the other party members and the least supported. but he MAKES IT. he doesnt get gollumed, he doesnt waste away, he doesnt lose himself. he dies as boromir, as he was in life, protecting the people he cares about

and what really breaks my heart is that in the silmarillion, there’s an insinuation that because humans fear the Valar but love the ocean, most “miracles” are done through water. when faramir talks about finding boromir’s body, frodo points out that it wouldve taken a miracle to get him over the waterfalls safely, but faramir says it couldnt have been a dream because it left his shoes wet. so putting two and two together, the Valar step in to perform a rare miracle to bring boromir home

so at the end of the day, boromir was a man, and he was so much more than proud, and so often, his “proudest” decisions are motivated by fear. he wasnt the least good of the Fellowship, just the most troubled and the least supported. he was a protector, a man of his people, and a hero

anyway next time someone reduces him to just the “least moral member of the Fellowship” im gonna blow a gasket

[super-unpredictable98]

The Eighth Child (~TUA AU~) - Season 3

Chapter 5: You Give Love a Bad Name

Warning: Strong language, mild sexual content, mention of drug abuse, death, a tiny bit of gore (non graphic, mostly just mention of blood), child abuse

(The Eighth Child Masterlist)

"Heavens to Betsy, what did you do?" Klaus asked as soon as he saw the bodies. I have no idea why he seemed so surprised when I had just told him the pair of them died... Well, I might've forgotten to mention they died in the lobby. "Did Viktor go full Carrie again?"

"Hey, don't be a dick," I scolded in a hushed voice.

"We didn't do this," Allison gestured to the gentleman next to them and I immediately recognized him.

"Harlan? Oh you look great, remember me? Vicky from Dallas?" I tried to come closer, but he held his hand up, a clear sign for me to back off, so I did. "It's okay, I see you're having a bit of a sensory overload... You don't have to talk, I can read your mind. You did a good job, thank you for defending my siblings."

"Don't come near me please," he asked as Viktor tried once again to approach him. 

"I just wanna make sure you're okay. You can talk now."

"I can do lots of things now."

"Who is creepy grandpa?" Klaus pulled me aside next to our other siblings.

"It's Harlan, babe, the little boy Viktor used to care for in Dallas," I explained quietly, I was pretty much used at this point to Klausie being so out of the loop all the time.

"Oh shit, you're right," Alli agreed. 

"Didn't he get rid of all the kid's mojo when he did that... Thing?" Klaus asked, shimmying his shoulders as if he was possessed. "What's he even doing here now?"

"Who cares? He saved us from the Sparrows," Diego nodded towards the bodies and I immediately grabbed one of his knives. "Hey! What the fuck are you doing?"

"Sorry, just borrowing," I chirped, kneeling by Jayme's side. "Hey Klaus, do you have that little vodka bottle from the minibar?"

"Right here," he held it up, it was still half full so he drank the rest and handed it to me. "What are you doing?"

"Getting some of that good stuff, I need more Jayme juice," I carefully opened her mouth, sticking my fingers in there to feel where her venom glands were located so I could make an incision and take them out. "Right here you little beauty!"

"Ew! And I'm the gross one?" Klaus winced as he watched me carefully drain her glands of the black liquid into the bottle and shove them back into her throat as if nothing happened. 

"What? It's not like she's gonna need it!" I closed the bottle and shoved it in my pocket. "This thing is divine, you have no idea."

"What are you doing?" Sloane suddenly screamed, horrified.

"She was already dead, I didn't kill her!" I held up my hands and dropped the knife which Diego quickly grabbed to clean. "I violated her body just a little bit, but I didn't kill her!"

"Give me that!" she tried to grab the bottle, but I held onto it like Gollum. 

"Sorry, Elphaba, but there's no way I'm giving this up."

Without another word, she ran the other way crying and Luther gave me the dirtiest look I've ever seen on his face. 

"Wait... You were having sex with her? That is so gross!" I announced a little louder than I intended. 

"You got a live one, Luther!" Diego screamed, rushing after her while I quietly joined Klaus once again. 

"You just stole saliva from a dead body... God, that was badass," he squealed. "Gotta share some of that with me, alright? I never tried it."

The first thing I did as I walked into our room was unscrew the cap and take a little drop of the black liquid in the bottle, spreading it on Klaus' forehead. At first, he pretended to gag and winced in disgust, but as soon as the liquid disappeared from his skin, his face changed completely.

"Oh shit!" he giggled, laying in bed while I changed into some normal clothes we ended up buying during our shopping spree. 

I watched him trip for a couple of minutes until he sat back up agape. "Holy fuck, this is amazing!"

"What did you see?" I asked, tossing him a change of clothes before locking the bottle up in the safe hidden inside the wardrobe.

"We were on our honeymoon in Brazil," he grinned and I closed my eyes to be able to see what he saw. "You were wearing that swimsuit from earlier and we were hooking up at the beach... It was heaven."

"That is so cute," I leaned in to kiss him. 

"What did you trip about the first time?"

"We were in our 20s and having a birthday party, you looked absolutely gorgeous and everyone was there, but you kept saying all these dirty things in my ear..."

"Oh, so like I do all the time," he teased, buttoning up his yellow shirt. "We should probably tell someone about that big ball of light in the basement... That could be dangerous."

"Yeah, just tell Diego, that chismoso will have everyone knowing in no time," I suggested, fixing my hair before opening the door to leave. "Come on, let's find him."

I could hear D's thoughts, he was very angry at Stanley for... Setting the lobby on fire with a molotov cocktail? Oh my God, that was such a classic Diego move! I could see him doing that as a kid, he had no right to be mad at his son for doing it. 

He kept trying to push that narrative that he was the most responsible 12-year-old on the planet, but I remember quite well that he would destroy everything with his knives, I don't even know how many times I accidentally got hit in the eye by one when he was still practicing. 

"Most of it wasn't even my fault, it was the man! The octogenarian!" Stan tried to argue.

"I don't give a shit where he grew up, alright? You're gonna clean because no one-" Diego started, but Stan wasn't done.

"And you're just mad cause you got your ass kicked by a floating cube!"

"That's it, you're grounded!"

Klaus and I couldn't keep from laughing. I was still intrigued by the fact that my brother didn't know what the word octogenarian meant, his son must've gotten Lila's brains. I hate to admit it because she creeps me out, but she's a smart little cookie.

"What are you two laughing at? You were conveniently absent when all this shit went down!" Diego turned to glare at us.

"We were talking with dad," Klaus said, doing a flourish with his hands.

"Don't move an inch," he pointed at his kid before pulling us aside. "Did you ask him about the mother shit?"

"Yeah," I looked over his shoulder at Stan, I don't know why but every time I saw him I felt the urge to pinch his cheeks and spoil the shit out of him... it was my first time meeting any niece or nephew so I guess I was little blinded by his cuteness.

"What'd he say?"

"That he didn't kill them," Klaus sighed heavily.

"And you believed that?"

"I don't know, it's hard to say, the Sparrows have got him all doped up like a... Like a me! Not even Vicky could read his mind properly, she said it was foggy."

"Anything else?" 

"Yes! The basement," I nudged my fiancé's arm.

"Yeah, that luggage room where we used to huff paint! Do you recall ever seeing this blinding orb of light?" Klaus asked. 

"Now we're done," Diego patted him on the back and turned on his heel.

"No, Dieguito! It's true, I saw it!" I called, but he was already distracted by Chet bringing one of those housekeeping carts.

"Chet, my love," Klaus immediately ran up to him. "I need to talk about that wedding reception I mentioned the other day, what is the closest date you have available and how much would that cost?"

"Aunt Vicky, can you talk to dad so he won't be so mad at me? I didn't do anything, it's true! I just had a little accident with a bottle, but the old man was the one who killed those two. Please, auntie? Please?" Stanley asked, probably sensing my weak spot for him. 

"I saw what you did, with the molotov cocktail... So it wasn't nothing," I cocked an eyebrow, but he wrapped his arms around me, surprising me with a hug. "I'll see what I can do, okay? Let me talk to your dad."

"Here," Diego handed the boy a bunch of keys and a list. "When you're done here, you're gonna clean every room on Chet's list to pay for this mess."

"Hey, D... Do you think that's really the best course of action? I mean he had an accident with the fire, he could just clean up the lobby and move on?" I suggested. "He won't do it again, right?"

"It doesn't matter, Vicky, you're too soft with him! If you really love your nephew so bad, you and Klaus can babysit him today."

"Nooo, why can't you do it? We have wedding stuff to plan! We have to do it before the whole world goes to shit," Klaus whined.

"I have to babysit Luther in case Allison pops off again," Diego explained.

"Wow, Luther manages to ruin my life even indirectly," I shook my head. "It's my fucking wedding!"

"You're ruining their wedding and my day, you should eat shit!" Staley shouted as his father left. "You two are having a double wedding?" he asked.

"No, we're marrying each other," Klaus huffed, pushing the cart towards the elevator.

"Aren't you siblings?" 

"Not biologically, and not legally anymore, dad disowned all of us."

"Fucking white people..."

"Hey young man! Do not talk to your aunt like this! She's not white, she's 100% Latina. Born in Latin America, she's basically the girl from Ipanema."

"Except I was born in Copacabana," I mumbled. "But he's right, I'm not white!"

Okay, maybe it wasn't ideal that we had to follow Stan cleaning rooms all day instead of tasting cakes and choosing our menu, but I was still willing to make the best out of it. I wanted to know everything about the last 12 years when I wasn't around my nephew. I never knew I liked children, but maybe if Klaus and I did a good job that day and by a miracle we escaped the end of the world again, we could think of having our own one day.

It wasn't so bad watching him... At least we didn't have to deal with the stupid Sparrows, Harlan, or Luther's stupid crush. Out of everyone, we might have gotten the best job of all. 

"Ew, what are you doing?" I watched as Klaus tipped back a little bottle of mouthwash.

"What? You made me drink the last of my vodka to store your Jayme juice, now I only have this," he said, inhaling sharply. "By the way, you missed a spot, kiddo."

"Well, you missed a spot on your face and I'm not complaining," Stan snapped back.

"Excuse me! Respect your uncle," I asked firmly. "I know you're grumpy because you have to do this, but we all had better things to do, no need to take it out on him. We had to deal with punishments way worse than this one when we were your age."

"That's true, one time I got six months of laundry duty, six fucking months, just for pawning one of my dad's stupid priceless artifacts from Mexico," Klaus scoffed. "Turns out it did have a price, dad, and that price was 35 dollars for meth, thank you very much."

"I'm so grateful you still have all your teeth..." I sighed, remembering how horrible it used to be to take care of him when he was on meth. "And I'm glad you're clean, mostly."

"Laundry duty doesn't seem so bad," Stan shrugged.

"It is when you know what your brothers do into their socks," Klaus chuckled. 

"That didn't include you?" I teased.

"No! Most of the time I just used a tissue or licked it off like a civilized person!" 

"You licked it off?" Stan recoiled, but laughed.

"It's my own, what's so gross about that? You don't see people reacting like that when someone sucks on a paper cut and tastes their blood," he elbowed me. "Now I don't really do that anymore, I have your aunt to clean up the mess."

"Don't say that!" I laughed, giving Klaus a playful shove. 

"Sound like you two got into a lot of trouble when you were my age," Stan commented.

"Oh, tons!" he shared a look with me. "Truancy, larceny, arsony... You know I lot of the stuff we were doing wasn't even illegal at the time, have you heard of Klaus' law?"

"I was not as much of a trouble maker-" I tried to save face, but of course my lovely partner in crime wouldn't let me.

"No no no, you were just better than me at hiding it, your aunt crashed her first car into a fire hydrant not two minutes after getting it, she stole your dad's knives so many times, she planned most of the sneaking out, she got us all hooked on Brazilian telenovelas that we had to hide to watch, she kept all of my weed and smoked with me..."

"Klaus!" I yelped.

"Well, it doesn't matter. Half of the time I was just trying to piss off my dad, Luther, Diego, or Ben," he drawled, pulling me into bed and trapping me against his chest.

"Yeah, oppositional defiant disorder," Stan muttered. "At least that's what my shrink calls it."

"Go on..." Klaus narrowed his eyes.

"It's typically associated with an argumentative, aggressive-"

"Irritable mood?" I finished and our nephew nodded.

"Antisocial, risk-seeking behavior, and impulsivity."   

"Ding-dong, who's at the door? Me!" Klaus stared at me wide-eyed at the realization. "I have that! It feels so good to put a name to it. So all the drugs, and the manipulation, and my cult..."

"You had a cult?" 

"It was the '60s babe, everybody had one. The point is all that was a reaction to my father and his obscenely high expectations of me! And then after dad, Vicky left which only made me go deeper into that hole, then I had Ben haunting my every move."

"Who's Ben?" 

"Ben is your other uncle who died when we were 16," I sat up. "He's alive in this timeline but it's not our Ben, so fuck him, he might as well be dead."

"Come on, focus, Vicky! If I set this room on fire would it be fulfilling?" Klaus sat up as well, piquing the interest of our crazy nephew who immediately reached into his pocket for his lighter. 

"I don't know. If I was to act out right now, who would it even be in opposition to?"

"Chet, who is the last person you should be opposing right before our wedding," I warned, scared he might want to test out that theory.

"You're right, maybe this whole new timeline thingy is a blessing in disguise, except for Stanley obviously..."

"HEY! He has feelings, Klausie, he's our family! We don't say that about family," I chastised. "He is a blessing, look at his little face!"

"To you, not Diego... But maybe now I can have a normal-ish relationship with our cold emotionless father. And you're not legally my sister anymore, so who's to say anything about us? We're like best friends who grew up together, childhood sweethearts, nothing more."

"I like the sound of that," I bit my lip, too wrapped up in my own head to notice Stan stealing a bunch of small objects from the room, but luckily my 'childhood sweetheart' noticed.

"Hey! Ay ay ay!" Klaus pointed, making a sound that clearly translated to 'stop that'. 

"Come on!" Stanley protested.

"No! Put it back!" he yelled, tsking at him as the boy put the car keys back in place. "All of it, please! Yes yes."

"I thought you were supposed to be the fun uncle!"

"I know me too..."

"That was so hot," I whispered in Klaus' ear. "You being responsible just turned me on so much."

"Can I just keep one thing?" Stan asked after emptying his pockets.

"Alright, you can keep the panties, if you work fast! Aunt Vicky needs my attention," he clapped with a smirk.

—————————————————— 

After that open conversation the two of them had, things got surprisingly easier and a lot more fun. Klaus finally seemed to accept Stan as part of the family and enjoy his company as much as I did. We were great babysitters! 

"Go faster! Faster!" Stan screamed as Klaus pushed us down the hall on that cleaning cart. 

"Coming through!" He shouted, having way too much fun with that until he stopped, seeing the one door at the end of the hall different from all the others. "White Buffalo Suite... Squirt, make with the key on this one, chop-chop."

"Let me check... Nope, this room isn't on the list and I'm definitely not gonna clean a room that isn't even on the list."

"White Buffalo, why does it have that name?" I jumped from the cart to check the door.

"I could pick the lock, but Diego took my switchblade," Stan frowned and so did I, hearing him call his dad Diego, but I guess after 12 years it would take some getting used to.

"Yeah, stand down," Klaus cracked his knuckled and his neck as if preparing for battle. "I once had to pick a lock with my teeth while partially paralyzed on Quaaludes. Oh man, that was an evening... All right, keep a watch out for me."

"This just gets hotter and hotter," I murmured to myself as I watched my fiancé get on his knees to unlock the door, I could almost see that ghost of young him prying open the door of the lab at college to steal the laughing gas that the odontology majors kept in there.

"Huh... Five founded The Commission," I blurted out after visiting our sibling's thoughts to pass the time as we waited. 

"What?"

"Nothing, keep going. That thing in the basement we saw, I think it's called a Kugelblitz."

"Name makes sense... Got it!" Klaus finally opened the door and winked when he saw the horny look on my face. "Having deja-vu, Liebling?"

"You have no idea," I entered the room and looked around. It was way bigger than any other room, much more colorful and luxurious as well. A huge buffalo head decorated the salmon-colored wall and everything was perfectly clean even though the lights were on, indicating someone must've been using it.

"Oh my God! Looks like friggin' Indiana Jones in here!" Stan ran inside. "Whoa! A pachinko!"

While he was distracted with all the stuff the room had to offer, Klaus was enthralled by that buffalo head, so I closed my eyes to enter his mind and see what he was thinking about. 

I wasn't surprised to find he was remembering a white buffalo painting we saw at dad's new office. It was very hard to miss, and it had to mean something, it would be too much of a coincidence for that room and that painting to have the same exact theme. Maybe dad knew something we didn't.

"Hey, come on, chop-chop Stan," I heard Klaus' voice. "Gotta see a man abut a buffalo-"

But before he could finish that sentence, I heard the sound of a projectile being shot and my fiancé groaning in pain. I opened my eyes to find Stan holding a speargun, a spear had been shot and went straight through Klaus' chest, landing on the wall where the pachinko machine was. 

I ran to take him in my arms, drenching my dress in his blood. Klaus was shaking and trying to stand, but his legs gave out, bringing me to my knees with the weight of his body as I let out an ear-splitting cry.

"Oh shit, the wedding," were the last words Klaus uttered before his final breath and I sobbed uncontrollably, holding him close to my chest. 

"Aunt Vicky, I'm s-s-sorry," Stan stammered, still in shock.

"Sorry? You're sorry?" I stood up, taking the gun from him before he could cause any more destruction. "YOU KILLED THE PERSON I LOVE THE MOST IN THE ENTIRE WORLD!"

"It was an accident, aunt Vicky!"

"Don't call me aunt, you little shit!" I slapped him before I could stop myself and he fell, crawling away from me. I immediately regretted doing that to a child, but it was too late to take back, just like Klaus' murder.

He looked at me with such terror, his nose bleeding and his cheek reddening, but to me it was not enough. I wanted to hurt him, I wanted him to suffer as much as I was suffering. He took from me the only thing I had left, the only person that made me truly happy in all these 33 years of life. 

"He was my everything! He was my world and you took him from me!" I screamed. "I never wanna see you again, seu filho da puta! I fucking hate you! Eu te odeio, seu desgraçado!"

"P-please don't hurt me!" he begged with tears rolling down his face, which only made me angrier.

"YOU HURT HIM! YOU HURT ME! Go get your father now! Get out of my sight before I kill you with my own hands," I rushed back to my fiancé, to embrace him and stop myself from doing something I'd regret even more. "Klaus was right, you're not a blessing, you're a curse, you fucking demon spawn. I wish your mother never had brought you into this world. Now go, get out!"

[nightlychaotic]

Time Lost

For @nutellaneedsanap

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Marinette stared up at the Manor as they approached, butterflies in her stomach as they got closer.

"Are you sure about this, Dick? I should have at made some macarons or a pie or something."

"You really don't need to. If you're not ready, we can do this another night, I just thought since one of my brothers is here for once it would be a good chance to introduce you to everyone. I am sorry for springing this on you last minute."

"No no it's fine. Just a bit nervous."

Dick shot her a reassuring smile. "You'll be fine. Dinner won't be for another hour. We could walk around the grounds before we head in. Kill some time and relax?"

She nodded. "That sounds perfect."

The two walked, exploring the gardens and small wooded expanses on the ground when Marinette stopped, feeling as if all the air had been knocked from her.

"Jason! Hey come here. I want you to meet my girlfriend-"

"Marinette?"

"Jason Todd," she greeted, hesitating for a moment before enveloping him in a hug. "It's been too long."

"Way too long. I'll take the blame for that."

"I should hope so."

"You two know each other."

"We used to be friends when we were kids," Marinette replied.

-----------------------------

"Pen pals!"

"What?"

"We can be pen pals!" She repeated. I'll give you my address and we can write and send each other things."

------------------------------

"I haven't heard from him in years though," Marinette finished. Jason winced.

"Sorry, dying tends to put a halt on any sort of communication.”

“You died."

"No, no no. It's just a saying. You know like 'I feel like death.' Life just got so busy I didn't have time to call or write back."

"Please don't lie to me, Jason. You died. I saw the articles after not hearing from you for three months."

Jason let out a breath, running a hand through his hair. "Yeah. Yeah I did."

"How are you alive then?"

"It's complicated."

"Natural, Medical, or Other?"

Jason paused when she said this."Marinette, what do you mean by other?"

"How did you come back?"

Dick looked between the two of them, brow furrowing. "Mar, what do you mean by other?" He repeated the question.

------------------------------

Dear Marinette,

You'll never guess what happened! I met the Batman last night!

On a separate note, I'm getting adapted by Bruce Wayne. You know the really rich dude that owns like half of Gotham. I'm moving into Wayne Manor in the next few days. But keep addressing your letters here.

How are your projects going? You mentioned trying to add some sort of pattern to your dress. Success?

Your friend,

Jason

~~~~~~

Dear Jason,

ARE YOU OKAY?! What happened for you to meet the Batman? Were you in danger? From who? What happened?

Congratulations on the adoption! (That is a good thing right?)

Projects are going great! Almost done embroidering the flowers on the dress your referring to. They're coming out better than I thought they would.

There's been some weird things happening in Paris lately. My classmate, Ivan, he got possessed transformed I'm not quite sure into a stone gollum. Im not equipped to handle this. He's stopped and back to normal, but now others are turning into the same thing and freezing. I don't know what to do.

Let me know what the new house is like!

Sincerely your friend,

Marinette

~~~~~~

Marinette,

What the hell is happening in Paris? Are you okay? Are you in danger? If you need or want to get out of there you and your family can stay with me. Bruce has more than enough space and money to help you.

Please stay safe.

Your friend,

Jason

~~~~~~

Jason,

I'm fine. Ignore what I said in my last letter. Everything is being taken care of. Is it bad to say this is becoming a new normal? Paris has gained a couple of heroes to fight the Akumas. Everything is handled.

The Batman and Robin even showed up and had a look around. Why they were so far from Gotham I don't know but Alya was having a field trip with it. Luckily there was no incidents while they were in town.

I promise I'll be as safe as I can be.

Sincerely your friend,

Marinette

-----------------------------

"What do you think I mean?"

"Most people don't think of anything beyond medical care and miracles, so tell me what you think by other," Jason demanded. Marinette let out a breath glancing away."

"There's other forces in this world. Magic, rituals, wishes. None of it has a good end result typically. What's given comes with a cost to maintain balance. Rarely is it anything short of unpleasant, usually of a more disastrous scale. And I am going to take it that you came back by other means by your posturing on the subject."

"How do you know this, Marinette?"

"Considering the fact that you haven't been in my life for years, Jason, I have no obligation to answer that."

"Mar-"

"Why is this topic so important to you two? What's so concerning and urgent about this."

“It just is,” Dick said softly.

She shook her head. “That’s not an answer. I- I can’t deal with this right now,” she said softly before turning and taking off, ignoring their calls behind her.

-----------------------------

"Marinette! Where the hell are you?"

Marinette gave a small laugh. "The roof. It's easy to get there from my balcony."

"Why are you on the roof?"

"I like to be high up. It helps me to clear my head when I need to take a break and relax. Not much is going to be able to get to me and it allows me to just vent safe-” her sentence was cut off as a loud thundering shook the air.

Marinette whipped her head away from the screen. Looking towards the loud crash, she frowned.

"I'm so sorry Jason. Um, I need to run, there is another attack and I don't want to be sitting on potential ammunition. Reschedule?”

“Yeah, Yeah. Hell go get somewhere safe!”

“I will. Take care!”

“You too stay safe!”

“Same goes to you.”

-----------------------------

"How did you get up here?"

"I have my ways. You?"

"There are some perks of being the adopted son of the man who owns this building."

"How did you find me?"

"Remembered an old conversation we had about heights helping to clear minds. Shortly before you ran off the call."

"That was the last time we called before you died. Baby August had been akumatised again."

"You know, you never explained what was happening."

"Does it matter? It's over for three most part. I'm ready to leave what I can in the past. Besides I don’t see you offering anything about what has happened with you since you died. I understand if it’s hard to talk about. I don’t mean to push. I’m just worried. I know how screwy magic can get with stuff like that.”

“How?”

“Because my life’s been seeped in magic and its consequences for the past decade,” she said, softly.

“What?”

“Magic is so deeply entwined in my life at this point I have to know this stuff. The prices for shit like resurrecting the dead.”

“It was the Lazarus Pits.”

“Shit, Jason. Are you okay?”

“Better at least. It was rough there for a while. Fucking Ra’s and Talia-”

“Hell Jason. So that’s why you never replied. You were with them.”

Jason nodded, glancing away. Marinette shook her head, nudging him in the side. “I’m sorry. Maybe once we’ve reconnected a bit we can open up a bit more about what we’ve missed….What you and Dick are hiding from me…. and I might know someone who can help you too.”

“Really?”

“They might. But that’s better than nothing.”

He nodded standing, holding a hand to help her up. “C’mon, let’s get going before Dick thinks I’m trying to steal his girl.”

Marinette laughed. “Oh god no. You're like a brother to me.”

“That’s why I gotta make sure, he gets no funny ideas.”

“Don’t you dare.”

“I gotta make up for lost time somehow.”

“Do you?”

“I do.”

[frostyreturns]

The Hobbit (1977) Review

Since there has been no new Middle Earth media since the Hobbit movie trilogy I thought it was a good time to revisit this classic from the late 70's. Since the books cannot be improved upon, and the movies were done in the exact right way at the exact right time...there's no need for there to be any new movies or tv shows based out of Tolkiens middle earth. Thankfully this indisputable fact is acknowedged by everyone and no future Tolkien projects are even in the works. This as a fan is something to be thankful for because any Tolkien work produced today would be absolutely cancerous and the kind of thing that nobody should or would want to watch. And so it is into the past fans must look for a good time in middle earth.

I've read the Hobbit three times in my life, normally I only ever read a book once, maybe twice if I really liked it so to have read a book 3 times means I not only consider it to be a very good book…I consider it to be one of the best books ever written, a book that's near perfect. A book that was as enjoyable as a child as it was as a full grown adult. I've also played the hobbit video game a couple times, and of course watched the Hobbit movies a few times as well. This 1970's cartoon version of the story however I have never seen before now. Partly the reason I avoided it was because the interpretation seemed different than both what I had seen from Peter Jackson which I loved and from what I myself imagined from the books themselves. Particularly I did not care for the character designs at all. Bilbo in particular looks like a giant frog that just somehow has white skin instead of green. Elrond was the weirdest with a weird sparkly halo that surrounded his face, and Gollum was a weird homunculus fish creature, Smaug looked more like a cat wolf hybrid than a dragon. The wood elves looked like goblins on stilts and had a weird accent that was part Indian, part Russian and part French. Even the spiders look like crosses between spiders, rabbits and bats. The characters faces look somehow both creepy and severe while also being cartoonish and silly. It's a bizarre merger between a fantastic art style and horrible design choices. However character designs aside the rest of the art looks terrific and I love it. The backgrounds look phenomenal and everything looks painstakingly drawn with great care and detail.

The sound quality isn't great and at times it can be hard to hear what the voice actors are saying, the voice acting is also not very good. It's almost more like it's an audiobook being read to you with visuals than it is a movie. It comes across like it could be just one guy sitting there with the book in his lap doing all the voices himself, the way a teacher or a parent would read a book to children. Smaug for example sounds like a bored old man waking up from a nap. The background music however is very good and suits the story and the art. The foreground music and original songs I don't care for though. Although I do finally get the reference from the Lemmywinks episode of South park though. I half expected Biblo to have to answer the catatafish riddles. It just doesn't work for me as a musical.

The pacing is also a little strange, you've barely been introduced to any of the characters and already ten minutes into the story and they are up to the part of the book where they run into the trolls. Which also look kind of stupid. Actually now that I look the art somewhat reminds me of a studio Ghibli anime, it looks like it had to have been animated in Japan at least. It's also got the signature classic cartoon style of the Rankin and Bass Christmas specials. It's like a combination of studio Ghibli anime and Rankin Bass holiday cartoon special. I'm not sure if I expect Totoro to show up or if I expected it to be animated with stop motion puppets.

The movie doesn't spend much time on major parts of the story, things are glossed over probably for time and animation costs. Major plot points are treated like slight diversions and some are resolved in minutes. At the approximate 45 minute mark they are dealing with the spiders, which leaves only about 30 minutes for the encounter with the wood elves, the stay in lake town, the journey into the mountain, the encounter with smaug, the death of Smaug, the battle of the five armies and the conclusion and journey home. That's a lot to stuff into 30 minutes. It's like the opposite of the problem with the Hobbit movie trilogy which stretched things out too much.

One other weird thing was the song placement, at one point there were lyrics about the trolls debating how to kill the dwarves but it was played during their escape from the goblins with the Eagles much later on in the story.

All in all I think this is a weird vestige from the stories past, something interesting if not anachronistic to watch once if you've never seen it before or as a way to introduce kids to the story. However I don't think it's good enough to be considered a definitive version of the story. I didn't hate it, it was okay and I can see myself liking it if I had watched it as a kid.

[ragingbookdragon]

It's Heartbreak Or It's Love, There's No Such Thing As Halfway

Guy Gardner x Lantern!Reader

Word Count: 2.7K Warnings: Explicit Language, Angst, Death

Author's Note: Based on this ask right here that I finally managed to do! Enjoy my angsty story! -Thorne

**********************************************************************

Green Lanterns had a well-known reputation for being the worst luck bearers in the entire universe. Girlfriends stuffed in refrigerators, taken over by the embodied parasite of fear, family dying, personally dying, you name it, they’d been it, seen it, and felt it. Of course, the Four Corpsmen took that as a personal challenge to see who could have the worst luck amongst each other, and when Guy Gardner returned to Oa with a woman dressed in an orange exo-suit and bearing the Orange Lantern Corps symbol in tow, they decided that he had the worst luck.

Hal watched the woman poke around the room they’d all stepped into—and locked the doors—asking, “Where’d you find her?”

“I don’t know.” Guy said. “But she won’t leave me alone.”

“Why not?” Kyle piped in.

“Because she wants my ring.” He reached over and yanked the vase out of the woman’s hands. “No.”

“Mine.” She hissed, trying to take it back and he pointed at her.

“Do you want me to get out the leash again?”

Her face contorted and she went quiet, seeming to shrink on herself. “No.”

“Then behave.” Guy scowled, putting the vase back, then he looked at them. “See. This is what I’ve been dealing with for the past four days.”

“Can’t you just tell her to leave you alone?” John asked, carefully avoiding the woman as she walked behind them, knowing she was probably going for a ring.

“I did.” The Lantern retorted with a glower. “She won’t leave me alone.”

Hal waltzed right up to her, getting in her face. “Hey, you.”

She bared her teeth as if she were going to bite him and Guy griped, “No biting. We don’t bite each other.”

“Why won’t you leave our friend alone?” Hal asked and she pointed at Guy.

“Want the ring.”

“You can’t have my ring.” He shot back. “I need it.”

“Want it.”

“You can’t have it.”

“Not leaving,” she finalized, then her eyes widened, and she reached out, grabbing Hal’s wrist. “You have one too!”

The pilot was quick to yank his hand away before she could peel the ring from his finger. “No.” he warned. “We don’t take rings.”

“But I want one!” she bemoaned. “It’s pretty and I want it!”

Kyle all but collapsed on the floor in laughter. “Oh my God, we’re stuck with a gold digger. Hey, Hal, hide your wallet before she becomes another girlfriend.”

“Shut up,” he griped, and Guy shook his head.

“She’s not a girl. I don’t even know what she is.”

“What?” they all blurted out, glancing at him, then to her.

“Are you kidding me? I was on a planet that had no intelligent lifeforms. She just appeared out of nowhere and latched onto my arm.” He rolled his shoulder. “‘Bout yanked my freakin’ arm off trying to get the ring.”

“So…what is she—it?” Kyle asked, then he knelt beside her, watching curiously as she pried at one of the vents and stuck her hand inside, wiggling around for whatever she could find. “What are you?”

“Shax’ods.” She answered, then grunted when she found nothing in the vent, slinking to the next vent. “From Shaxodia.”

“That’s the planet I was on.” Guy murmured.

“Are Shaxiod’s like humans?” Kyle questioned.

She turned on him, hissing, “Shax’ods. Not Shaxiods.”

He flinched. “Sorry. Shax’ods. What exactly are they?”

“My kind,” she said, pulling open a drawer. “Shapeless. Colorless. Sentient.”

“If you’re supposed to be those, how’d you manage to become a human woman?” John inquired, regarding her as she pulled out what looked like coins and went through them, pocketing the shiniest ones.

“Wanted his ring. Couldn’t get it. Scanned it. Saw his memories. Took on image based on humans encountered.” She looked at Guy. “Can I have your ring?”

“No.” He grunted and she hissed darkly, going back to scrounging around the small drawer.

With her occupied for the moment, they huddled together, whispering fiercely. “What are we supposed to do about her?” Hal asked. “We can’t hurt her.”

“We can send her back to Larfleeze?” Kyle offered. “Isn’t he the boss of the Orange Lanterns?”

“There was only supposed to be one Orange Lantern because the greedy bastard sits on his pile of rings like Gollum.” Guy said, glancing up to see her fiddling with the door. “Where’d you get your power ring?” he called out, and her shoulders rose like she’d been caught stealing.

“Found it,” she answered. “All on my own.” She turned, meeting their eyes. “Hungry. Where is food?”

“We’ll eat later. Sit down in the chair over there.” When she scowled and didn’t move, he constructed a leash. “Do we have to—”

“No!” she shouted, prowling to the chair where she flopped down and tapped her foot obnoxiously.

“I thought Orange Lanterns were supposed to be mindless, greedy things. No coherent thoughts.” John observed her. “She’s intelligent and sentient, capable of listening to commands when someone tells her to do something.” He looked at them. “She’s different.”

Guy’s eyes narrowed. “Nice observation. Got any others?”

“Maybe we can help her get the ring off?” John offered.

***

Turns out trying to remove an Orange Lantern’s ring was like putting a cat in water. She fought tooth and nail against every construct and hand that came at her and refused to surrender her ring, even if they reasoned that she would be better without it. That ring wasn’t going anywhere from her hand, and she wasn’t leaving them anytime soon—she was their problem now.

But as the months went by, she became…less greedy, if it were believable. Her speech bettered too, now that she had to interact with humans all time, she picked up on their speech fairly quickly. She’d picked out a name for herself, “(Y/N)”—no one knew where she’d learned it, but she liked it and “it was hers”.

(Y/N) gained a few enemies within the Green Lantern Corps too. Not many people trusted her, and they had a fair reason—she couldn’t help the sticky fingers and more often than not, Guy had to drag her around and make her apologize whilst she returned the knickknacks she’d grabbed when they hadn’t been looking.

But she was a good fighter, and everyone was surprised when (Y/N)’d backed them up in a fight, though she fought savagely and with one purpose but to obtain whatever she wanted from their corpses. Guy spent a lot of time with her, working with her greed, training her to fight less savagely and use her head more.

And to their shock, she’d calmed down a bit, though she was still an Orange Lantern, and everyone knew it. Though they couldn’t deny that she’d wormed her way into their hearts with her easily annoyed spirit and character.

***

(Y/N) stomped into the med bay, plopping down on one of the treatment beds. “Heal me.”

Hal blinked, looking at her with confusion, one hand still scratching at the sheet of paper. “Excuse me?”

“Heal. Me.” She commanded. “I am sick and I need healing.”

“I’m not a doctor but I’ll do my best,” he replied, walking over. “What seems to be the problem?”

“This body reacts oddly,” (Y/N) answered. “The organs flutter and beat fast. I do not like it and I want it to stop.” Hal cocked a brow, reaching up to feel her throat. “What are you doing?” she accused, glaring at him.

He glared right back. “I’m trying to feel your lymph nodes, (Y/N). That’s how human doctors learn people are sick.” She eyed him, but let Hal continue, and he placed his pointer and ring at one side of her throat, his thumb on the other. Gently, he massaged up and down, then said, “Swallow for me.”

She did so and he frowned. “Nothing seems wrong.” He constructed a stethoscope, putting it on.

“What is that?” (Y/N) worried.

“Stethoscope. I can listen to your heart and other organs for that fluttering you’re talking about.” Hal’s brows furrowed and after a moment, he pulled away. “I don’t hear anything, (Y/N). Your heart is beating normally for someone in your condition.”

“And that is?” she asked.

“Healthy.”

Before she could speak, Guy burst through the doors and sprinted to a drawer. “Hi guys! Bye guys!” he disappeared as quickly as he’d come with a bunch of bandages in his arms.

“I don’t even want to know what that was—”

“The organs are fluttering!” (Y/N) shouted, grabbing the end of the stethoscope; she yanked Hal over and he jerked to his knees in front of her with a grunt, though he went still when he heard the rapid thumping from her chest. “You hear it!” she exclaimed with wide eyes. “See! I am sick!”

Hal gazed at her curiously, then reached up with a free hand, softly pressing his palm to her cheek. “What—what are you doing?”

He grinned. “You’re not sick, (Y/N).”

“I am!” she retorted. “These organs are beating rapidly, and I feel sick.”

“You’re in love.” He nodded his head to the doors. “And I’m going to guess that since Guy was the one that made your heart race, that he’s the one you’re in love with.”

(Y/N) went as still as a wooden board, eyes wide with shock, then she jerked up and away from him. “Do not tell a soul.”

“It’s not a bad—”

“NO ONE!” she bellowed. “TELL NO ONE!”

Hal raised his hands in defense. “Alright. I won’t tell anyone.”

She seemed flustered, scared and she spun on her heel, running for the doors.

***

And as the year stretched on, Hal realized that (Y/N)’s only other emotion than total greed, was love. She followed Guy around like a puppy, always handing him trinkets she had in her pockets, and if Hal didn’t feel such a pity for the hopeless woman, he would’ve found it endearing.

He also realized that she had no idea how to express love besides using her greed. And he only realized it when she’d shown up at his room in the middle of the Oa night and demanded he tell her how to show affection. He’d tried his best, having to bite back laughter at how her face pinched and she squirmed with discomfort at having to share her feelings and everything she had.

“Guy’s not…a typical…guy…you know?”

“No.”

“Okay, I could’ve phrased that better. Guy’s not impressed by words. He likes action. Actions speak louder than words to him.”

“Actions are inanimate. They do not speak.”

“Yeah, but…okay, say that you told Guy you liked his haircut.”

“I do.”

“I know you do, but you didn’t let me finish. If you told Guy, he’d probably brush it off. But! If you gave him a six back of beer, he’d thank you and crack one open right there.”

“So…I should find alcohol for him?”

“I mean it’s that or a playboy.”

“What is a playboy?”

“Just find alcohol.”

“…Where?”

“I’ll show you.”

And God, he wished he hadn’t because all she did was thrust the beer in Guy’s hands and stomp off, leaving his friend more confused than anything. Hal had pulled him aside the day after and explained the situation, even though he’d sworn not to. And when (Y/N) found out—and she only did because Guy distanced the two of them—she was not happy.

She was furious and cursing him in a language not even his ring could translate. (Y/N)’d screamed and cursed so much that Hal Jordan actually feared that he was going to be killed by her. That or she was going to become a Red Lantern, and he didn’t know what was worse. But when tears had fallen down her cheeks and she’d yelled, “It was not your right!” Hal felt terrible about opening his mouth.

And then when Guy had brought an old flame to a party, Hal watched (Y/N)’s emotions reach a boiling point and he’d narrowly managed to get her out of the room and to a distant field before she completely exploded. When she’d calmed though…it was a sorry sight to behold.

“My organs hurt.”

“Yeah, heartbreak’s a bitch.”

“My heart is not breaking.”

“It’s a figure of speech, (Y/N). It means you’re sad.”

“Oh…I see.”

“Yeah.”

“It is because I am an Orange Lantern, is it not?”

“I don’t think so. Guy’s just…not sharing your feelings.”

“His lover is pretty.”

“She is.”

“I want to be loved.”

“We all do. But there’s other fish in the sea.”

“What?”

“There’s someone else out there for you.”

“I want Guy. He…sees me.”

“He sees everybody. That’s why he’s a good friend.”

“Yes…a good…friend.”

***

Hal cursed, looking at Guy and (Y/N). “You two get back into space and see if you can find where that signal went. We’ll stay here and defend the territory.”

“Got it.” Guy answered, looking back at her. “Ready?”

“Yes.” They shot to the sky and burst through the atmosphere, ready to start scanning when Guy cursed, and she glanced back at him. “What is it?”

He didn’t get a single word out when the bright green ring suddenly went dead, and his suit faded. (Y/N)’s eyes went wide as Guy’s hands went to his throat, eyes going saucer wide, and she reached out, enveloping him in orange light.

Going to his knees, he hacked and grabbed his head. “Shit, my head.”

“Your ring is dead,” she observed. “I thought you charged it?”

“Forgot.” He shook his head. “We were so tired last night that I went to bed.” He looked up at her. “Can you call them?”

“Yes. Let me—”

Warning. Ring power low. Battery at two percent.

(Y/N)’s eyes shot to her ring; he caught it. “What? What’s wrong?”

“My ring is dying too.” She murmured, then glanced between the ring on her hand and Guy. “I have to choose.” Her head turned, eyes darting to the nearby planet. “It should have enough power to get you there before it dies.”

“What are you talking about?” Guy beat on the bubble he was encased in. “(Y/N), what are you doing?”

“…The right thing.” (Y/N) floated to the bubble, placing her palm to where his was. “I know why you never felt the same. I am…a monster. Consumed by greed.” She shook her head. “I cannot feel like humans do. I am broken…but you made me think it was possible. That I could be worthy of love.” Her eyes were watery. “Of your love, Guy.”

“(Y/N),” he breathed, and she pursed her lips.

“I want to be someone you can love. I want to be someone you smile when you think about, not be ashamed of.” Pulling back, she distanced herself. “I can change. I promise I can change. I can be more than my greed.”

She raised her hand again, commanding, “Take him to the surface. Low power mode. Only exo-suits, no powers.”

With a blink, the ring came off her finger and she fought to keep herself from yanking it out of the air and putting it back on; it flew through the bubble and slid onto Guy’s hand though he was the one fighting to keep it off.

“No! (Y/N) no! Take it back!”

She smiled as the suit started disappearing from her feet and sliding up Guy’s feet. “I am doing what you would do. I am saving you.”

“I would save us both!” he shouted, eyes terrified as the suit freed her hips. “Don’t do this!”

“I have to save you,” she comforted. “Even if I cannot save myself too.” (Y/N) searched his eyes. “Thank you for making me feel like I belonged, Guy Gardner.”

“(Y/N)!”

The exo-suit disappeared from her body and the bubble popped; Guy watched in horror as she tried to breathe in but without oxygen, she couldn’t. Moments passed but they felt like hours and her eyes found his, the corner of her mouth quirking up as she went still, a trail of blood freezing on her skin as it dripped from her nose.

And Guy shot to the surface of the planet, commanded by the Avarice Ring, screaming his throat hoarse.

[frodo-with-glasses]

Assorted thoughts from reading today

Three Is Company

Frodo is as slow to get out the door as my family is. Fixing to start to prepare to get ready to go.

Frodo really left the dirty dishes for Lobelia to clean up like “<3”

The presence of the Black Riders dogging the hobbits’ footsteps is terrifying. The mystery of who and what they are and the dread of where they’ll be next is like a suspense thriller.

Tolkien randomly switches into the POV of a fox that found Frodo, Sam, and Pippin asleep outside and that’s just delightfully storybookish and random and I love it.

Frodo recites poetry ALL. THE. TIME. What a NERD.

The descriptions of the different locales of the Shire is so very detailed and beautiful that you feel like you’re really there, walking along with the hobbits. Nearly every paragraph could be its own painting.

Dang, I remembered that Frodo & Co. ran into elves pretty early on in the journey, but I’d forgotten they were STILL IN THE SHIRE when it happened!

Frodo impressing the elves with his knowledge of High Speech was one of my favorite moments from the book and still is. Nerd appreciation.

Okay the elven wood-hall was definitely my secret inspiration for many details of my own fantasy world as a kid, rediscovering it feels so weird, what the heck—

FINROD. ELVES OF THE HOUSE OF FINROD. MENELVAGOR IS THE CONSTELLATION THAT REPRESENTS TURIN. I KNOW WHO ALL THESE PEOPLE ARE NOW. AAAAAAHHHHHHHH

A Short Cut to Mushrooms

The thought of Frodo stealing mushrooms from Farmer Maggot as a kid is so funny to me now. He really was a rascal.

If I were any better at drawing dogs I’d draw Farmer Maggot’s dog Wolf growling in Frodo’s face. Even a normal-sized pit bull would be enormous to hobbits.

Mrs. Maggot packing Frodo some mushrooms in a basket has the same energy as all the passive-aggressive gifts Bilbo left his relatives. Do hobbits just regularly diss each other with presents or is everyone in this story just a huge bundle of sass?

Remind me to do that text post about which members of the Fellowship could hold their own in a conversation with hobbits about mushrooms…

A Conspiracy Unmasked

BRO GOLLUM GOT INTO THE SHIRE. WHAT. He doesn’t get close to the hobbits because of the water but DANG he found them quick.

Frodo’s new house in Crickhollow is one of those that Tolkien mentions in the forward: not a proper hole in a hill, but a house built to look like one, with a turf roof. I wish I’d paid more attention to that detail as a kid because it gives this clear emotion of “trying to be the real thing, and pleasant in its own way, but just not the same”.

One lovely detail that’s lost in the movie is just how sneakily Frodo’s friends scheme against him (for his good) to figure out what the heck he’s up to and prepare to go with him. In the film, Merry and Pippin just happen to (literally) bump into Frodo and Sam and tag along because it’s fun I guess and they care about Frodo, and that’s lovely in its own way, but the Conspiracy really makes them out to be much smarter and more careful than you’d imagine hobbits to be.

From now on, if I ever have to refer to Merry, Pippin, and Sam as a group, I’m calling them “the Conspirators” or “the Three Musketeers”.

Sam, upon being revealed as the informant: “Yes, sir! Begging your pardon, sir! But Gandalf did say you shouldn’t go alone, and you should take someone you can trust.” Frodo: “But it doesn’t seem I can trust anyone!” Sam: :-C

Ohhhh uh-oh I’d forgotten about what happens to Fatty Bolger. Don’t spoil it for me just yet—I’ll remember when I get there. But uh. 0.0

This line. Get yourself friends like this. Heck, BE a friend like this.

[cygnahime]

Okay so

LotR AU, but I am way more into Tolkien than MDZS can ever achieve

and the problem is: you want/expect Sam and Frodo to be Wangxian, right? Slow descent into darkness, “I can’t carry it but I can carry you,” et cetera et cetera. However, I’m gonna be honest, LWJ does not have what it takes to be Sam Gamgee. It’s okay! Neither does anyone else! No one in this dramatic romance tragedy has the common sense Eru gave a cabbage! They make great elves! Kind of shitty hobbits!

Depending on what point in their MDZS character development you pull from, it may be WWX who has opinions about potatoes and remembered to bring cookware and a carefully-guarded box of salt, actually. But even if he’s not as blue-blooded as much of the cast, he was still raised a cultivator, and cultivators? Are stupid. They’re just...they’re not good at survival skills. They’re nobility, and they have sword flight and inedia and the magic that keeps the Lan robes white in a battle. But if Frodo and Sam have any of those things, the story stops hitting right, because it’s not the same kind of horrible trudging struggle.

...Honestly I would read a noromo version with Mianmian as Sam, because she’s the repository for 90% of the story’s common sense, and I guess JZX as Frodo because they’re besties. JZX wouldn’t be a half-bad Frodo, to be honest. He doesn’t do any deeds of incredible martial prowess, and that’s good, because that’s not who Frodo is.

...That makes me think of JGY as Gollum, which he doesn’t deserve but also is the only one who could be opposite JZX. Jin Zixun may also be a narrative foil, like-and-yet-not-like, but he wouldn’t have survived 5 minutes with the Ring, so.

Wangxian remind me most of Gimli and Legolas, dynamics-wise, though once again neither of them deserve Gimli. Probably WWX gets to be him, though, because the Lan are just so intensely elven.

Also! In that post! The CONCEPT of Jiang Cheng in the role of Eomer! Is fascinating! Because that puts, of course, Jiang Cheng’s sister in the role of Eowyn. ...which has some problems, like Jiang Yanli being canonically the female character least suited to Eowyn’s plot role. And also, Jiang Yanli has enough problems in her life without the factors that led to Eowyn’s suicidal depression manifesting as a quest for glory.

I don’t have a conclusion, just evidence that I care A Normal Amount about the Lord of the Rings, and also the MDZS cast would fit better in the Silmarillion, where no one makes good choices ever.

[elsanna-shenanigans]

April Contest Submission #30: Break Me Off

Words: ca. 3,000 Setting: mAU Lemon: no CW: none

“Can I try yours?”

Elsa’s head snapped up from the book she was reading to look to her left. Her baby sister was looking expectantly, her small hand outstretched and waiting expectantly, fingers wiggling in a grabby motion.

“Sure,” she answered with a smile, and passed her barely started dark chocolate KitKat on to Anna. “I don’t think you’ll like it though.”

Anna ignored that statement and immediately put the candy bar in her ‘some teeth missing transition period’ mouth, and bit off a sizable chunk. She chewed for a few seconds before her chocolate-covered lips twisted in a grimace, and she threw the KitKat back in Elsa’s lap.

“Ewww,” she said once she finally swallowed the bite (she at least had the decency to not spit it out like she used to a few years ago, something Elsa could bet would drive their father nuts if she did it in the new car), then gave Elsa the dirtiest look ever. “It’s so bitter! Why are you doing this to yourself…”

The last words were said with an overly-dramatic flair as Anna put her hand up to her forehead and pretended to faint like an old-timey movie lady on an ottoman. Which would work much better if she wasn’t stopped by the seat belt.

“It’s not that bitter to me.” Elsa shrugged as she picked up the discarded KitKat and continued to eat it as if nothing ever mattered. “You just still have a baby palate,” she said around a mouthful.

Anna blew her a raspberry, and her gaze dropped to Elsa’s book. “Whatcha reading anyway?”

Elsa swallowed the KitKat. “Harry Potter.” She flipped the cover to show it to Anna, who immediately started tracing and mouthing the letters of the title. “The fifth part comes out next week, so I wanted to re-read it before then.”

“Can you read it to me?”

“Later,” she lowered her voice and glanced in the rear-view mirror at their father’s concentrated face. It wasn’t the best idea to read–and have Anna interrupt with her loud comments–while he was driving. “When we’re settled at the hotel, I’ll read some to you.”

+++

“Hey,” Anna whispered, leaning over the wide armrest so she could reach Elsa’s ear. “You wanna try a bite of mine?”

She offered her the obnoxiously white KitKat, and Elsa immediately took it, as if its glow-in-the-dark properties could be seen by the row behind them. Without thinking much, she chomped down on the half-eaten candy bar. The overwhelming sweetness exploded in her mouth and seemed to coat her tongue with a thick, fatty film.

“You like it?” Anna whispered again, absolutely disinterested in the screen, her eyes locked square on Elsa’s face. “It’s kinda sweet, but I think I dig the white chocolate.”

Fighting through the nausea, Elsa finally managed to push the saccharine mush down her throat. “It’s absolutely disgusting,” she whispered back, then chuckled at Anna’s betrayed face. “I can see why you’d like it.”

Anna opened her mouth to say something (presumably snarky, she was hitting that age) in return, but an angry shhh came up from behind them. Elsa glanced at the people sitting in the back row and mouthed a sorry.

She turned back to the screen and tried to catch up on what she’d missed from the movie. So far The Goblet of Fire was proving to be worse than the previous parts, but she still wanted to know how they managed to work out the lake task of the Triwizard–

When Anna opened her mouth again just a few seconds later, Elsa stuck the white chocolate KitKat in it.

+++

“Hey, tradition!” Anna screamed suddenly as Elsa unwrapped her finals-study-motivation KitKat, almost making her drop it. “Lemme try!”

Elsa blinked. This was just the dark chocolate variety, one that she was sure she’d already let Anna try at some point in her life.

“You already–” But before she could finish, Anna’s shark jaws locked around the still barely unwrapped candy bar in Elsa’s hand with a loud crunch.

She munched for a moment, a thoughtful look on her face as she was considering the flavor. It quickly gave way to a disgusted scowl.

“Ew,” she said with a fake gag. “It’s as bad as I remembered.”

So Elsa did let her try it before. She rolled her eyes and half-heartedly swatted Anna away.

With a devious snicker and a hurried good luck with the exam!, Anna skipped out of the room and left her alone to study.

Elsa shook her head and finally returned her attention to her long-awaited snack award.

For some reason, the sight of Anna’s glitter lip gloss on the dark chocolate made her stomach twist.

+++

KitKats turned out to be the best way to go through her finals that year, and the next semester, and the next next semester, putting in the required fuel, feeling of accomplishment and the calories missing from not having time to eat proper meals.

It was also one of her little pleasures to find and test new flavors, especially those not available locally. It was Anna’s little pleasure to never say she wanted to order some for herself, and instead take bites off of Elsa’s, ‘just in case I don’t like it and don’t wanna finish!’

And over time it was one of Elsa’s little pleasures to look at the print of Anna’s lips on the chocolate and tenderly place hers on top to match the shape.

That little pleasure turned into a major curse when she realized she was daydreaming about placing her lips on Anna’s directly.

From then on, she would only buy the 4 finger breakable Kits.

+++

“I don’t really like this one,” Anna said around a mouthful of the Ruby cocoa KitKat. “It looks super cute, but it just tastes kinda waxy.”

Elsa shrugged. “Honestly, it’s just like the regular, but pink.”

“No, it’s different.” There was no point arguing with Anna on that. While Elsa preferred to try out new flavors, Anna has always been a hardcore true fan and real connoisseur of the regular Kit, so all she could do was to believe the expert. The currently pouting, cutely irritated expert. “Do you wanna finish mine?”

Elsa’s blood froze.

The whole point of the 4 finger Kits (which she personally considered inferior as the ratio of chocolate to wafer was just not quite on par with the single stick) was to not kiss Anna by proxy. Is what she came to call it.

But Anna was holding out the pink KitKat with a darker pink lip gloss outline in her direction, looking at her expectantly.

“N-no, I’m fine,” she answered a little too quickly and in a little too nervous of a voice. “I don’t really like it either,” she lied.

Anna’s brows furrowed. “I thought you said it tastes like the regular to you.”

Elsa could feel herself sweat. Damn, the stupid act of sharing a KitKat, something they’ve done since they were little kids was making her sweat.

Probably precisely because they’ve been doing this since they were little kids. Growing up together. Being sisters. Who should not want to kiss each other, yet there Elsa was, looking away from Anna’s perfect cupid bow glossy lips like a teenager (which she was definitely not anymore, on the final stretch to obtaining her bachelor degree) in love.

Her own lower lip felt numb from biting down on it. Fuck, she was in love.

“Yeah, but you’re right,” she said, mouth dry. She was in love and she was just now realizing this because of a stupid Ruby KitKat. “It is waxy.” Stupidly good Ruby KitKat that she was going to deny herself because her sister’s lips touched it and she would burn in hell if hers did too. “Just toss it out.”

Anna’s face looked like she just told her she actually was planning to vote on Trump for the pure fun of it, but she didn’t say anything.

+++

“Hey, I’m just about to head out– oh is that a new one?”

Elsa almost dropped the half eaten candy bar on the floor. She was not expecting Anna to come in her room any time soon, and like the true disgusting goblin she was, she decided to partake in her secret stash of imported KitKats.

Her dirty little secret stash of single stick KitKats that she couldn’t find in 4 finger format, and thus could not ever, ever let Anna know about because even if she ordered two pieces of each kind Anna would refuse to try an entire bar on her own.

‘I mean, what’s the fun in that? Half of the joy of KitKats is sharing!’

Not really seeing any way out of that, Elsa admitted defeat. “…Yes.”

“Oh, cool!” Anna bounced over excitedly to drop down on the bed next to her. “Oooh, white chocolate and peach? So fancy! Is it from Japan? It looks about the size of the Japanese ones I saw online…”

Her pure, genuine excitement only made Elsa feel even worse about hiding in her room like Gollum with his ring. Then, right as she was reaching for Elsa’s KitKat, Anna’s face and hand suddenly dropped.

“Wait…”

Elsa gulped.

“…you… you were going to eat it without me, weren’t you?”

She focused on the pattern of her carpet.

“Oh my god, Elsa! You stinker!” Anna sounded full-on betrayed, and Elsa could honestly not blame her for that. “I thought KitKats were our thing!”

Elsa blushed, for many different reasons. “I-it’s not like that,” she started explaining herself, fully aware of how pathetic she sounded. “It’s just cause you never want a full KitKat of a new flavor and I couldn’t find them in the sharing format–”

“So? I didn’t know we were suddenly only allowed to share the break-apart ones.”

Elsa sighed. Right, to Anna it didn’t make any sense, because Anna was a normal person who didn’t fantasize about kissing her sister. Or flustered about indirectly kissing her. “I-it’s just easier to portion…”

“I’m pretty good at portioning a bite, thank you very much.” She still sounded a little miffed, but she did smile towards the end– right before her eyes turned very round and glistening. “Did you eat many without me?”

Holy shit, she was looking like the pleading emoji and Elsa was at her wit’s end. “No!” she denied quickly and truthfully. “I-I bought more, but this was the first one I was going to try…”

Anna crossed her arms.

“Aaand now that you know about it I guess there’s no point hiding,” Elsa continued sheepishly. “I’ll uh– I’ll go to the kitchen and cut you off a piece.”

She stood up quickly, holding the KitKat like a relay sprinter holds the baton, clinging on for dear life with the prospect of glory and escaping the rivals, or in this case escaping her sister before she could–

“Wait.” Anna’s hand was on her wrist and Elsa almost yelped. The rivals outran her and the finish line was nowhere in sight as she fell on her knees, defeated, and only metaphorically speaking as in real life she was just standing stiff in her place. “What? Just let me take a bite, it’s easier–”

“N-no,” she interrupted quickly, trying to pry the wrist away from Anna’s surprisingly strong grip. “Cause, uh– umm, that way I can make sure to cut in the middle and give you a fair share.”

Yes, that was a splendid save.

“I just want a bite, I’m not sure if I would like a whole half.” And a gloriously crushing response from the opponent. “Just let me–”

Her peach pink lip gloss would look amazingly fitting on the white chocolate and peach KitKat. Or on Elsa’s lips. Applied with her lips. On her lips. Kissing–

“No!” She yanked her hand away. Anna’s eyebrows shot up in shock, and Elsa realized she yelled that very loudly, even though she was mostly responding to her own dirty little secret thoughts. “I mean– I don’t wanna…”

What? What was she supposed to say to get out of this? There was literally no logical reason she could not be wanting to simply share the KitKat like they used to for so many years, aside from the obvious plague that was currently rotting her mind, but she could not tell Anna that–

“…are you disgusted by me?”

She said it in such a small voice, looking up from where she was sitting on Elsa’s bed with hands folded neatly in her lap, her big teal eyes glazed with a sheet of tears and Elsa’s heart broke into a thousand shards.

“Oh god, no!” Her hands moved on their own to grab Anna and pull her into a hug, but she stopped herself on the way, now with her hands awkwardly hovering at Anna’s eye level. “Why… no, I’m so sorry you would even think that, I–”

“Then what is it, Elsa?”

Fuck. Fuckity fuck shit fuck what was she–

“Just say it,” she damn near sobbed. “Out loud.”

“Your lip gloss,” she said in a flat voice, grasping at straws to not lie, but also not tell the truths. “It stays on the KitKat when you bite it.”

Anna’s eyes went wider. “You don’t like my lip gloss?”

Why the fuck was she sounding this hurt by the idea? “No, I–”

“I thought you said it looks good…”

“It does!” She could clearly feel herself getting flustered. “I like it, and it looks very good on your li– on you. Really good.” God, was she sounding as borderline creepy to Anna as she did to herself? “B-but it leaves a– a stencil of your lips on the…”

She trailed off, not really sure how to get out of the corner she just talked herself into.

Anna gave her a puzzled look. “So you don’t like… my lips?”

“No!” Jesus why was communication so difficult and why was the room so hot and why was Anna looking at her like this? “I love them. Like! I like them. I like. Them. Your lips. Like them.”

If Anna got up and called the ambulance right now because ‘my sister is having a stroke!’ Elsa would find it completely justified.

“Ookay…” Anna said slowly, not reaching for the phone, and instead continuing to try to read Elsa’s face (but what she could potentially read was that inside Elsa’s head there was a wind-up monkey puppet playing the cymbal, and nothing much beside that.) “So what is the problem?”

Elsa mumbled in response.

“I’m sorry?”

“It feels like we’re kissing,” she said weakly, absolutely giving up on her hopes and dreams in that instance. “When I bite the KitKat.”

Anna blinked at her. “That’s it?”

Elsa nodded.

“I mean, that’s all?”

It was Elsa’s turn to wear a confused expression.

“You’ve been getting only breakable KitKats for a year just so you could share with me without feeling like this?”

Elsa nodded again, albeit cautiously. She had no idea where Anna was going with this.

“And denying yourself flavors that don’t exist in that format so that I wouldn’t feel left out?”

Nod again.

“I’m sorry.”

Record scratch. “What? No, why are you sorry?”

“Because you were feeling uncomfortable because of me?”

“No, I– I didn’t want you to feel uncomfortable knowing I want to kiss you.”

Wait, no– oh no no no no holy fuck no backtrack backtrack backtrack–

Her stomach sunk. There was no way to backtrack.

Red alert, escape the room.

Anna caught her hips before she could dash for the door and spun her around to face her again, this time meeting her at eye level. She reached for Elsa’s hand–which was currently hanging limply at her side, and still holding the goddamned half-eaten KitKat–and clasped it gently in hers, then brought it up until it was between them, right in front of Elsa’s mouth.

The scent of peach and white chocolate hit her before her brain registered the development.

“Bite,” Anna said softly, but with demand. “And hold.”

Elsa’s mouth opened on its own as her sister pushed the KitKat in, and obediently she clamped her teeth down on it–just enough to break the chocolate layer, but not all the way through.

She stood there patiently with the candy bar sticking out of her mouth, watching Anna remove the remaining wrapper as if her body was not hers to steer, as if she was just a passive observer as her mind was struggling to pick the pieces of what her sister was doing without going for what she really wanted Anna to be doing in her heart of hearts.

Once the wrapper was off, Anna climbed on her tiptoes and– Elsa could swear she saw her smirk right before the free end of the KitKat disappeared in Anna’s mouth, slowly, until their lips finally touched.

Their lips touched.

She was kissing her sister.

She was kissing her sister around a fucking candy bar.

And in just a few heartbeats she heard the tell-tale, trademark KitKat crunch as Anna’s teeth broke through the wafer, and with a final brush of her glossed lips she was off, leaving behind only a chunk of white chocolate and peach mousse in Elsa’s numb, speechless mouth.

“It looks good on you too,” Anna said with her mouth still full and gaze dashing between Elsa’s lips and eyes. “Bet it would be even better without the melted chocolate.” She swallowed down her bite, and let out a satisfied hum. “Mm, I like this one. Funny how the flavors work together so well… chew, Elsa.”

She brought her hand up to Elsa’s chin and pressed on it, and Elsa mechanically picked up the chewing motion, earning a delighted smile from her sister.

Anna glanced down at her watch. “Well, I gotta go. The sea and beach won’t run away, but my friends just might if I keep them waiting any longer.” She placed a soft, sticky kiss on Elsa’s boiling hot cheek. “But I’m really looking forward to trying the other flavors you got.”

With a wink, she pushed past her and out the door, leaving Elsa to deal with the lump (of KitKat) in her throat.

[morwensteelsheen]

If Faramir went to Rivendell, how would the whole ttt/rohan plot be different?

A good question that I have spent an unreasonable time thinking about! My first LOTR fic was going to be an attempt to answer this, but then I got so wrapped up in not having the answers that I sidelined it and wrote WC instead. So I think instead of giving you one definitive answer I’ll give you a couple scenarios I think are plausible? If that’s not too much of a cop out lmao? Apologies in advance for the inevitable spelling errors, I did this on my phone and my dyslexia is off the charts today.

I think it’s basically unavoidable that he goes via Rohan first, geographically he’s sort of left without an option there. When he’s there, we get into this issue of whether and how he and Éowyn interact. Worth noting, I think, that the Unfinished Tales has Éomer living in Aldburg by the War, but Éomer does seem to imply he’s around for Boromir passing through. Is this because he knows and already is a fan of Boromir? Maybe! Or maybe Éomer goes to Aldburg after.

But I digress. We have to ask the question of whether Faramir falls in love with Éowyn because he was always going to fall in love with Éowyn, or if it’s because the things he’s gone through immediately preceding it primed him for it. I — perhaps quite cheaply — come down on the side of Faramir always having it bad for her on first sight. And contextually I think that comes from his, rather sweet, enunciation of the way his regard/love changes for her. He says that at first he pities her, and then he gets to know her and he doesn’t pity her anymore, he respects and admires her. That’s an interesting dynamic to bring into play in basically every AU, because you get this double barrel characterisation of his attitude to her changing, and his own character maturing/sharp edges softening.

I think he off the bat he sees that she’s beautiful, and immediately is drawn to her for that. Shallow? Maybe! But, to badly paraphrase my ol fav Victor Hugo quote — love always begins with a glance.

I imagine he stays for a short while, maybe a week, two at most. At this point I think that Éowyn’s basically viewing him as an official guest that she has to entertain, and I think Faramir is, in his own, slightly stilted, slightly wanky way, putting the moves on her. This can go, imo, one of two ways. She can either be receptive to it (which is a nice thought!) or she can be aware of it but mostly ignore it because, really, she’s got lots of shit on her plate.

Either way, he leaves Edoras at some point. The big question is where does his go from there?

One thing I toy around with is that, given his pre-existing relationship to Gandalf, maybe he’s willing to trust the Istari a bit more and goes straight for Isengard? Which, and I think I did the math on this once a few months ago, would have him arriving at Isengard around the time Gandalf’s getting his shit kicked in by Saruman lol. I think this could be a really compelling plot point, but I’ll be very honest with you, I 100% don’t have the imagination or writing skills to figure out how it proceeds from there, so I’m not going to try to.

If he goes the normal Boromir route, he still loses his horse at Tharbad and walks (lmao jesus???) to Rivendell. When he gets there, I think he’s immediately going to have everything he knows put to the test in quite jarring ways. First off, he’s going to be infinitely more deferential to Elrond, Aragorn &c when they’re trashing Gondor. He’ll push back a bit, no doubt on that, but he’s going to be starstruck by Aragorn in a way that Boromir just wasn’t.

No real difference I imagine between Rivendell and Lothlórien, except that he’d definitely be laser focused on palling about with Aragorn, and he’d probably spend more of his time being friendly with Frodo than with Merry and Pippin tbh (not in a douchey way, I just think he and Frodo vibe a little better. Though I bet he and Merry had some interesting chats about pipe weed history).

The underlying question here is what sort of relationship does he have to the ring? I don’t buy this idea that he’s not tempted by it, I just think that what the ring offers him is a bit shit. We don’t know what the ring tempts him with, he’s not clear on that in TTT. I can’t really see the ring being like ‘oh I’ll give you a king to follow’ because that is some intensely nerdy shit, but is somehow the one thing I could see Faramir actually being tempted by. Regardless of what it offers him in this AU, he resists it on the basis that he’s got this mythical king he’s been desperate for, and he’s not gonna risk that for anything.

Lothlórien comes next, and oh my god when I tell you this is the part I genuinely have no answer for. I stopped writing my first fic at Lothlórien because I couldn’t cope. Tbh it probably lowkey fries Faramir’s brain, and for so many reasons. The whole godmoding Númenórean stuff he’s got going on probably interests Galadriel a bit, and so that whole conversation is going to be wildly different than it was for Boromir. But what does she say to Faramir? I have no idea. I really don’t. There’s also probably a million and one things also going on psychologically for him at that point, which makes dealing with this bit difficult. Really difficult. So I’m gonna, uh, conveniently smash cut away.

Parth Galen! Again, another two potential splits here. The first, (from here on out I’ll refer to as Plot A) which I find rather endearing, is that he goes off with Frodo and Sam when Frodo makes the decision to split. I don’t know that I believe he’d do it, but it proves for a very delightful interpretation of his character.

Plot B is that when the Orcs show up, Faramir survives not by virtue of his being a ~ better warrior ~ or whatever than Boromir, but by the terrain surrounding Parth Galen being something he’s far more in the habit of dealing with, and by virtue of his having a bow at his disposal. I know there’s room for an interpretation of Faramir as not primarily an archer, but narratively I think that’s less interesting. So he’s an archer. He’s an archer and also his priority is on Aragorn first and foremost, so Merry and Pip still get taken, and Frodo and Sam use the hubbub to GTFO, which is actually slightly more in line with the movie’s chronology, funnily enough. The three hunters become four, and then go on Merry & Pippin’s trails.

In Plot A, they’re hauling ass across the Emyn Muil, bolstered in some ways by Faramir’s experience as a Ranger. The problem is the issue of getting into Mordor and whether or not they pick up Gollum. I think, in a way that frustrates me immensely, they do end up taking Gollum, not because they need a guide, but because Gollum fulfils this deep psychological need for Frodo, and I think he would have argued for keeping Gollum regardless. Faramir is going to be fucked off about this, but will ultimately, I think, be deferential to the ringbearer.

So they go across the Dead Marshes, but they do NOT attempt the Black Gate first because Faramir’s not a fool. Do they go to Henneth Annûn? I say yes, but with the caveat that in all likelihood Boromir is gonna be there, which is gonna complicate stuff tremendously.

Over to Plot B!

The four hunters go to the Mark! They meet Éomer! Hey! Éomer recognises Faramir! (And he’s probably a little fucked off that he lost his horse lol). But whatever, he knows this guy, so he’s probably gonna be like, uhhh, everything you saw before in Edoras is much worse now. Also my cousin's dead and everything is bad. Here’s some horses, sorry for maybe accidentally killing your pals, see ya! And at this point I think Faramir’s probably having a, hmmm, g e n t l e  p s y c h i c  c r i s i s, because if he’s still very 👅 for Éowyn (which he is, sorry, he has to be) then he’s going to want to go there ASAP. Obviously though that’s not gonna happen, so: Merry and Pip chasing, Gandalf finding, Edoras arriving.

Which means Éowyn. If, at this point, she and Faramir already have something of an arrangement going on (nudge nudge) then she’s really not gonna give a shit about Aragorn. You know how in TTT it’s not even clear that she actually sees Legolas and Gimli? 100% that vibe with Aragorn too. Théoden’s gonna get his house in order, they’re going to head to Helm’s Deep, and Éowyn’s gonna get named head of house. (Faramir, if he starts off just thinking she’s beautiful, is going to have quite the paradigm shift here, because he’s going to have to start reckoning with her as not just a beautiful woman, but as a very, very intense person. This is how his love for her starts to mature.)

Sometimes I dream about him being like, ‘hey! I have some first hand experience of ruling a kingdom, how about I stay and…….. lend you a hand……..’ to Éowyn while she’s keeping watch on Edoras. This is wildly unlikely, but a delightful thought nonetheless. In the more likely case, which is that he goes to the Hornburg, she’s going to start feeling some strain about this whole war shebang, and it’s going to lead to some difficult conversations. Chief among them is that Faramir, as second son, actually has basically nothing to give her, which is not exactly a great position to be in when you’re in love with the niece of a king. I’m of the opinion that Éowyn’s not fussed by that stuff (she agrees to marry him when he’s prepping to give up a shit ton of power anyways), so she’s probably like, 'no, fuck you, we’re getting married.' And then he leaves, and it starts to emotionally unsettle her more and more.

If they don’t already have a thing, then it either begins at this point OR he gets overshadowed by Aragorn. In either case, off to Helm’s Deep he goes.

Helm’s Deep happens, I think Faramir ends up extraordinarily impressed by how the Rohirrim handle the Dunlenders afterwards, which also begins to soften his harsh opinion of them more generally.

They go to Isengard, Pippin looks in the Palantír, and away Pippin and Gandalf go. Both Gandalf and Faramir here would recognise that it would be batshit insane for Faramir to go back to MT now, because Denethor would read him like a picture book and he’d have to admit to the entire mission of the Fellowship.

Over in Plot A, I think we’re going to have some real emotional complexity vis a vis Faramir showing up at Henneth Annûn with two hobbits, a ring, and Boromir in control there. God, it would just be a disaster. My incredibly generous interpretation of this is that Faramir keeps the plan vague enough that Boromir lets them pass unhindered. My less generous interpretation is… yeah I don’t wanna do it tbh. It’s not pretty. It's also, to be clear: not an indictment of Boromir as a character. His response is entirely rational for someone expected to lead a kingdom and for someone put up against the unbelievable power of the One Ring. The reason Faramir continuously gets to pass largely untempted by the ring is because he's a guy with no actual responsibilities once you take the Rangers away. His understanding of his duty to Gondor is almost entirely conceptual in nature. He can think and talk about defending Gondor as it once was because there are several people above him in the hierarchy defending Gondor for what it is. This is also not an indictment of Faramir. He and Boromir just have wildly different realities to contend with.

They are going to go through Cirith Ungol even though Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dumbass both speak Sindarin and don’t cotton on to what its name implies lol. This whole scene is much shorter because Faramir’s significantly more cautious, so there is no Orc capture and Sam doesn't take the Ring. This is where things get a bit complex, and where I don’t think I have the imagination to say much more. Sorry!

Back in Plot B, the lads catch up with Éowyn as they prep to go down the Paths of the Dead. If she and Faramir are a thing, this is where the real emotional distress kicks in for her. All of the men in her life have, at one point or another, functionally abandoned her, and here’s Faramir, love of her life, about to do the exact same thing. Faramir inevitably goes with the Grey Company even though she begs him not to. When she tries to convince them not to go down the Paths at all, he is in the fortunate enough position to throw up his hands and say 'not my call, actually. King’s in charge,' which lessens the emotional conflict there somewhat.

No part of me doubts that Éowyn wouldn’t then immediately go over his head to Aragorn. She would, she absolutely does not give a fuck. And she’s going to get knocked back re: joining them in exactly the same way as in the book, because Aragorn’s take here isn’t actually dependent on her personally, it’s dependent on the duty she’s been charged with, which is taking care of her people. (Also going to be an interesting narrative parallel to a later conversation between Faramir and Aragorn after the Pelennor, which I’ll explain in more detail later.)

Faramir will, perhaps somewhat less dismissively, say this to her. He learns much more obviously the way to talk to her on her own terms, and he’s not gonna fall into the trap of letting her be like ‘you just want me to wait and die after all the men are dead.’ He’s going to probably give her some line about her being the last organised line of defence, and he might even invoke Haleth! It’s not going to work, because Éowyn’s very aware of the apocalyptic nature of all of this, but it’s not going to cause such abject hatred and fury as it otherwise would.

If she and Faramir are not a thing, her emotional distress is as it is in the book, except now Faramir’s trying not to pout in the background. He might even step in to try and soften the blow.

Regardless, she ends up as Dernhelm, she rides to the Pelennor.

Boromir is the one responsible for the Osgiliath retreat, and because it’s heavily implied that Faramir only keeps his seat because he’s got this dumbass Númenor garbage going on ('master of man and beast' — king Beregond), Boromir’s going to get killed by the Witch king here.

This is going to send shockwaves through not just Denethor, but Minas Tirith more generally, because Boromir is fucking adored. Denethor’s going to go high holy crackers much quicker, mostly because Gandalf is a shit stirrer and is going to waste no time at all in announcing that Aragorn, The Rightful King, is on his way, and Denethor will — correctly — surmise that Faramir has chosen Aragorn over returning with whatever Isildur’s Bane is to Gondor. This is the end for Denethor.

Éowyn rides from Dunharrow, slays the Witch king. Faramir and Aragorn show up with the Army of Dead, Faramir does not end up injured, but does end up as the Steward (obviously) and (obviously) aware that Éowyn is in the HOH. And also that everybody else he loves is dead. Yeehaw.

Here’s where I think things get really interesting. I think, counter to the way this is portrayed a lot of the time, Faramir doesn’t go to the Black Gate at all. I think he stays in Minas Tirith, not just to organise the wider range defences (esp the Rohirrim dealing w the Druadan) but in this very grim preparation to lead the retreat from Minas Tirith if/when Frodo & Sam fail. I think he's kind of fine with this for two reasons. The first is that him being conscious to process the death of his father, and it coming hours after the death of his brother means that he's going to have a personal-political crisis, and he's going to have to take the defence of Gondor more seriously than he did before. Second, Aragorn's going to tell him to fucking stay put, and he's going to be fine with it because it means he's going to get to spend the last few days of his life with Éowyn.

He and Éowyn reunite in the HOH, there’s still a lot of deeply emotional stuff going on, but, at least now Faramir’s conscience is clear re: marrying her because, well, he’s the Steward now. Also their reunion is going to take on greater significance because she’ll have killed the thing that killed his brother. So, that’s a lot.

If they are not a thing before the Pelennor, she's still going to drag his ass over to the HOH so she can bitch about being stuck there. But this time he's not a fellow hospital-prisoner, he's having to actually do things, and he's going to use that to his advantage in terms of keeping her from doing stupid shit. I think he's going to try to involve her in some of the strategic questions re: the retreat if the Morannon feint fails. I think he's going to make a point of talking to her to get her help on dealing with the Rohir forces that are in and around the City. I think that's going to go a huge way to helping to ease her misery, and it's going to be such a significant vote of trust in her (even after she's done the unthinkable and deserted her people) that she's going to fall in love with him here, as per. And the contrast between him and Aragorn is going to be all the stronger for it.

So yes. Those are just some of the possibilities I think! Sorry for the word dump!!

[callmepippin]

ok so i was tagged by the lovely @lexiklecksi for the 11/11/11 tag, the rules are: answer the 11 questions she asked me, make up my own 11 questions and then tag 11 ppl to answer those (so if you want you can skip to the questions at the bottom lmao). however as a fair warning: this got Way too long probably bc im rambly today. i tried to limit the stream of consciousness but….

1. current musical obsession: Frank Ocean and related sort of neo-r&b stuff - while writing this im also discovering Childish Gambino’s “Awaken, My Love!” (and also the song Golden Brown, but not bc im listening to it but bc im learning it on both guitar and piano)

2. 3 things i always take with me:

- wallet (or at least my id)

- phone (&earphones)

- cigarettes&lighter

3. what (or who) i miss most in lockdown: i dont rly remember? im so used to the situation by now that i kind of forget to miss what i did when things were “normal”... but i guess going to bars w/ friends, and just being able to go shopping when i need smth

4. pick: either only read 1 book or only read books picked by someone else: i wouldn’t be able to only read one book for the rest of my life! so definitely the second option (esp if i can pick the person who picks the books)

5. why i found your blog/followed you and if i intend to stay: uhh you followed me and when i checked your blog i liked the vibe i guess? also you were v nice in the tags of my music stuff! also ya i like it here, so im staying for a while

6. when and why did i last cry: i genuinely dont know for sure.. the last time i specifically remember crying was my granddad’s funeral, which is three yrs ago this month, but i do know ive cried once or twice since then, i just dont remember for sure when and why.

wait i do remember, i think the last time was when i saw Richard Says Goodbye (live music and movies or books are basically the only reason i rly cry, im not an emotional crier, dont know why).

7. who holds the key to my heart: my partner of five (and a bit) years, whom i love Very Much! (although ofc my heart is not locked, i have so much love to give, just romantically i am very much taken)

8, pick one: star wars/star trek, dobby/gollum, white/black magic, flying/teleportation, time travel: past/future?

- Star Wars

- Gollum (even though i have read hp but still havent read lotr, ive read the hobbit like 4 times tho)

- i think the hard dichotomy btwn white/black magic or like light/dark and good/bad in most fiction is often v flawed bc thats not how the world works, everything is grey areas (e.g. the Jedi are not better than the Sith, both have deeply flawed philosophies). the Force (or any magic for that matter) is not inherently good or evil, it just is. nature isnt abt good or evil, isnt abt opposites but abt balance.

and especially if you work with the occult and magical, i think thats all abt walking the edge between light and dark, life and death, night and day, good and bad etc…

so to answer the question: grey magic lmao, its all abt balance

- teleportation i think, bc while flying is very cool, i think teleportation has more practical uses (although also has danger involved, such as what happens if you teleport into a space that is already occupied by a person or an object? but for the sake of argument, prolly teleportation)

- do not even get me started on time travel.. the implications of time travel to the past are…… complicated to say the least (it only works if you believe in hard determinism, which i wholly do not). so in a practical sense, def to the future (although that is also Problematic within the constraints of our four-dimensional universe/experience).

in a philosophical sense though, ignoring all the paradoxes and laws of time and space, id still pick the future (or maybe no time travel at all), bc i think the past is the past for a reason. we remember it, we learn from it, but ultimately we must leave it behind.

my philosophical problem with traveling to the future is more that you cant just. skip life. so if you travel to the future, it has to be way beyond your own life and direct influence, or youll interfere with yourself and your own future, and thats scientifically, psychologically /and/ philosophically a v bad idea all round, i think.

9. which thoughts keep me awake at night: almost never specific thoughts, but quite often anxiety abt the near future. but theres no like, lingering issues that keep me awake.

10. what id do with you if we were locked up together for 24hrs: i think i’d really like to write with you! make poetry, song lyrics, make art! bc we could rly learn from each other i think and also we could just rly pick each others brain abt mundane, important and transcendental stuff ya know?

11. ask anything: do you have concrete, long term plans for the future, maybe even backup plans? a clear vision of how the rest of your life is going to go? or are you more the type to do what makes you happy now and figure it out as you go along?

my own questions (large variation in vibes and weight, i know):

describe your favourite colour using other senses (like what sound, smell, feeling or w/e do you associate with it)

what’s the best thing that happened to you in the last week, last month and last year?

what’s the one thing/what are the things that help(s) you get up in the moring and keep putting one foot in front of the other?

are you a leftie? (warning: there is a correct answer)

do you play/have you ever played a musical instrument? (and for the sake of completeness, yes i am counting singing as well)

do you have one thing (e.g. a song, movie, book or smth else) that never fails to bring you joy?

do you have one (or more) person(s) you feel you could still hit up after ten yrs of radio silence and you’d still vibe?

what’s your favourite song lyric/line from a poem/quote? and why?

who was your first celebrity crush? (if you’ve ever had one obvsly)

what’s smth you’re looking forward to? could be specific, could be a general thing like a driver’s licence or your own apartment or w/e

this one is specifically to feed my curiosity, indulge me: why did you follow me?

congrats, you’ve managed to reach the end! again, very sorry for the rambles, thanks for sticking around. im tagging @alt-heidi, @terdiscussie, @a-soul-to-cling-to, @ontvreemd, @sarahhnghae and i guess whoever fuckin feels like it? i literally can’t think of 11 ppl on this hell site, so if i forgot you its not personal. if we’re mutuals you’re especially tagged.

[fatesdeepdive]

Entry 11: Archduke Silly Bot

I built a new Mess Hall and Accessory Shop, but before I could play with them, my castle was attacked! By spooky ghost men from the Astral Plane I mean, I summoned them, but still, the castle is in danger. Fifteen enemies showed up to try and seize the fort. Lilith was supposed to help me fight, but just stayed in her pond and did nothing. Dumb fish.

The invaders were tough, but focused more on smashing stuff than killing my Units. Unfortunately, there was a casualty. Kenshi, our valiant POW who we force to serve as cannon fodder, was slain in battle. I mean, not really, because I’m playing Casual mode. Still, I renamed the castle Fort Kenshi in his honor.

The invasion gave me the points needed to build two new structures: the Rod Shop and the Smithy. The Mess Hall can be used to slightly boost unit stats for one battle. The Rod Shop can be used to buy various consumable items. Smithy can be used to reforge Weapons; for instance, I gave Kenshi a new bronze club called Kenshi’s Whacker. The Accessory shop can be used to buy and equip fun accessories, like the bath towel that is all Kenshi is allowed to wear.

Support: Jakob/Mozu

C: Jakob finds Mozu crying, because she had a nightmare about the death of her family, and comforts her.

B: Jakob tells Mozu that she is fortunate to have had something to lose; he explains his abusive childhood that ended with him being sold into servitude of the royal family and tells Mozu to hold onto her memories of her village.

A: Mozu begins training so she can be strong enough to protect everyone and thanks Jakob for looking out for her.

S: Jakob proposes to Mozu, asking her to help him create memories worth cherishing.

Review: This one was short, but good. It could have very easily just been a throwaway conversation about Jakob’s fanciness contrasting Mozu’s lack of sophistication. Instead, it was a genuinely touching conversation that expanded both characters and made me love Jakob even more.

Support: Orochi/Saizo

C: Orochi tells Saizo to stop being mean, because it’s ruining his reputation with the ladies, and threatens to take matters into her own hands.

B: Orochi reveals that when they first met, when Saizo was a child and she was...whatever age she was, she predicted misfortune in his future, which scared Saizo so much he wet his pants. She then reveals that she’s told everyone. Saizo runs away to salvage his reputation.

A: Saizo comes back, furious. Apparently, Orochi lied about telling everyone and Saizo, in his attempts to explain that he only peed his pants because he was a child, ended up spreading the story for her.

S: Saizo has turned over a new leaf and is trying to be nicer thanks to Orochi’s mind games. Orochi confesses that, when she fortolled misfortune in Saizo’s future, she must have actually been talking about his father. Because, as we all know, Saizo has not suffered any misfortune in his life. Also they get married.

Review: This one was decent. Saizo ignoring Orochi’s threats at first then ruining everything in his struggle to fix things is amusing, and the duo have better chemistry than most couples in this game.

Support: Azura/Corrin (Birthright)

Notice the Birthright parenthetical. Corrin and Azura, the main duo, actually have different conversations in different routes, which is neat.

C: Corrin and Azura take a walk together. Azura compares the nice day to Castle Shirasagi. She then apologizes for bringing up her childhood, which she feels belonged to Corrin.

B: Azura asks Corrin about her childhood and Corrin explains both the forced isolation and the constant companionship from Elise and the servants. Corrin actually says she misses the Northern Fortress.

A: Corrin and Azura reflect on their different opinions of Nohr: Azura’s feelings of it being the evil she escaped and Corrin’s of it being a home she misses. They discuss the fact that no place is truly good or bad, something the game’s writers needed to be reminded of, and vow to bring peace.

S: Corrin states that his good memories of Nohr all stem from kind people and vows to be that kind of person for her. The duo exchange some insanely on the nose promises about being fine in a dark pit if they’re together and their fates being intertwined. Now, this may feel like incest because they share parents and siblings, but I actually think this one is okay? As long as there isn’t some late game twist that makes them cousins or something, this seems good.

Review: Overall, a fairly good conversation. Corrin’s feelings on Nohr are more nuanced than this game normally is and the idea that Nohr isn’t evil because of the people is a good sentiment.

Support: Setsuna/Subaki

C: Subaki and Setsuna are assigned to train new recruits together. The new recruit is Kenshi, I have decided. Subaki, worried that Setsuna will be Setsuna and mess everything up, does everything himself.

B: Setsuna just wanders off in the middle of training new recruits and Subaki tries to help her be a better leader.

A: Setsuna attempts to resign from teaching, but Subaki tells her that her wandering off actually helped the recruits because she’s observant, I guess. Setsuna does not retire from teaching.

S: Setsuna tells Subaki that she likes him then wanders off because she’s done talking. Subaki chases after her and proposes.

Review: This one was mediocre. Setsuna is always fun, but this support conversation lacked a good conflict and was resolved in a dumb way. Setsuna wandering off in the middle of a confession is fun, but the relationship wasn’t built up at all.

Birthright Chapter 9: Land of Gods

The gang head to Izumo, a neutral kingdom south of Hoshido. The guards, recognizing Azura, let the party in. Corrin asks about the missing princes and is told no battle happened near Izumo. No war in Ba Sing Se and all that jazz. Archduke Izana approaches them, looking like a wise and calm leader. Then he talks and they realize that he’s a silly boy.

They ask him about the battle on the border of Izumo and he tells them he knows nothing about it. Izana invites the gang to rest and be treated by his healers. He also invites Corrin and Sakura to go to some special spa healing in his deep relaxation chamber which is absolutely not suspicious.

The deep relaxation chamber is an execution chamber. Nohrian soldiers march in to kill Corrin and Izana reveals that he is actually a Nohrian mage named Zola. His voice sounds like Gollum and he has this weird jester hat. I cannot wait for the part of the game where we kill him.

Right before Corrin is executed, half of the Nohrian soldiers attack the other half. It’s revealed the soldiers are actually our soldiers in disguise. Where they got the Nohrian costumes, I do not know. Maybe they looted them from some corpses? Also, how did they know this was happening? And how did they seamlessly blend into the Nohrian army? I have many questions.

Hinoka explains that she knew Zola wasn’t the real Izana because no royal would ever act like such a silly boy, because she has never read any history textbook. The battle begins.

Something I haven’t mentioned yet that I want to mention: if an enemy has a super effective weapon, a red balloon with an exclamation mark appears above them as you move your unit. Nice touch.

On turn two, two new characters march into battle: a Samurai named Hinata and a Spear Fighter named Oboro. The two of them are looking for Takumi. The two bicker. Hinata is an idiot and is thirsty for Takumi. Oboro fantasizes about killing all of the Nohrian scum and Hinata tells her to chill out. These two idiots are Takumi’s retainers. Corrin goes up to the duo and recruits them.

Hinata

A samurai and one of Takumi’s retainers. His personal skill, Triple Threat, hurts enemies who lower him below half health. His design is fine, I guess. I think they’re going for a meathead thing from his introduction and his scars and muscles, but he looks way too young. Personality wise, he seems to be kinda dumb, but not enough to be funny.

Oboro

A spear fighter who is really goddamn thirsty for Takumi and is also really racist. Her unit description is: Loves fashion, hates Nohr. Her personal skill makes her do extra damage to Nohrians, which is useful because we are at war with Nohr. Fates has a bad tendency of reducing characters to a single character trait and we’ve already been shown three traits for Oboro, which I assume will dominate every line she ever says. Seriously, we’ve known her for a minute and she’s said Nohrian Scum a dozen times.

This map was good. It was a standard fighting enemies in a castle map; nothing special, but then again it didn’t need to be special. After the battle, Zola says that he’d rather die than tell Corrin anything. He then throws a smokescreen and runs away, only to be attacked by Leo.

Leo says he’s going to kill Zola for being a disgrace to Nohr and Corrin says, no, don’t do that, don’t hurt another Nohrian. Except, Corrin has killed dozens of Nohrians at this point. Leo yells at Corrin for being a traitor and gives her Zola to keep as a pet. Corrin reflects on how Leo has gotten stronger, but also become more cruel, since her betrayal of Nohr.

The gang meets the real Izana. Yeah he’s every bit as weird and wacky as Zola was. He tells the gang about hearing that the princes were near the bottomless canyon and reads Corrin’s fortune. He sings the next verse of Ocean’s Grey Waves, implying that this song is genuinely a prophecy about this game.

In the white light, a hand reaches through

A double-edged blade cuts your heart in two

Waking dreams fade away,

Embrace the brand-new day

So, let’s see. First off, a lot of imagery about light, which is Hoshido’s aesthetic. Not sure what verse one means, but verse two is some heavy foreshadowing for Chapter 26. I’ll talk about it more then. Verses three and four are about Corrin leaving the fake life in Nohr and returning to Hoshido. Probably.

Azana also predicts that the princes are both alright, so the gang heads off to find them. That night, Azura talks to Corrin about the prophecy, saying that it is the lyrics to a song she was taught as a child that now seems to be about Corrin.

[maladaptive-ninja-returns]

It’s The Avengers (03x05)

Loki x Reader Avengers The Office AU (Slowwwwww Burn)

Season 3 Episode 05: Oh no! My Insecurities!

Series Summary: Living in the Avengers facility post-apocalypse in a better timeline   Tony Stark has decided to capture every moment by pulling The Office on the Avengers. All of housemates are pretty used to the idea except for you, who had just come here to finish her degree, and the newest member- Loki.

Warnings: one those tropes. one of those sexy sexy tropes

Word Count: what is the science behind wanting to eat so much junk when one has money to spare? I would really like to know so that I can ask my brain how it work without it for sooooo long and then one day decided to go batchit crazy. Maybe I was eating away my insecurities. But then again, when I was anxious I lost weight like anything because I just cuold not bring myself to freaking eat! What is it body and brain?! What makes you crave that dirty dirty foood! *gollum’s voice* tell me you filthy animal!

MASTERLIST in bio, darlings. Tags are open (check bio)

Tony stood in the kitchenette in front of a mixer, adding in a variety of green vegetables present in front of him, a tune on his lips in the form of a whistle that only stopped when he crossed eyes with the camera.

“Oh, hi! Didn’t see you there! I’m just here making myself an amazing green smoothie. Good for the heart and the head.”

Tony took in a lungful and turned the mixer on with a satisfied sigh leaving him. “What a beautiful day, isn’t it?”

The camera panned out to watch Vision walking into the Lounge, a blank expression painted on his face as he tilted his head to watch Tony at work. “You seem quite chirpy today,” he stated the obvious.

“I am. I have made quite the progress in my therapy and I am beginning to feel so much lighter than I was ever before. Letting go of stuff that worries me, you know. Aah, it feels good to not care about a thing in the world.”

The camera settled on Vision’s face. He blinked and tried to furrow his brows as he had seen everyone else around him do. “So, you no longer care about Y/N?”

The mixer was turned off and the container opened to pour the contents into a glass. Tony chuckled. “Y/N will be fine. Loki is there with her. Carol will be meeting them soon enough. I don’t have to worry about much. I’ll look at the footage once I get time from my mini-vacay I’ll be taking in our backyard. You should come too.”

Vision straightened his head and nodded. “I would love to,” he acknowledged the invitation while taking his potion of the green juice offered by Stark, “and I have to say Barton’s worries were wrong about you.”

“What worries?” Tony asked, a bit disinterested, taking a sip of his smoothie.

“That you would, and I quote, ‘go apeshit when you find out that Y/N dawned the role of Dominatrix seducing Loki to help him escape the clutches of a space sex slave trafficker.”

The glass went away from his lips with one smooth movement of his arms. “Say what now?”

Vision had already drained the glass. “He was referring to the whorehouse they escaped from yesterday. Y/N has quite the talent when it comes to weakening the guards of the male of many space creatures. It is quite extraordinary to witness someone so guarded and introverted like her completely expose her-”

His words are halted by the sound of glass breaking. The camera panned out to watch wide-eyed, visibly in shock Tony looking into a void before turning to meet Vision’s gaze.

“Oh shoot. I accidentally let the glass slip from my hands. Butterfingers,” Tony lied. Like a liar. “Don’t worry, you go ahead. I’ll clean it up.”

A natural shade of worry came over Vision’s face, silently staring at the shattered glass and Tony for a few seconds before seemingly coming to terms with it. “...okay. As I was saying, Y/N has quite the talent when it comes to slowly and tenderly pulling apart, one by one, her-”

The entire batch of vegetables was pushed into the sink and the garbage disposal was turned on, drowning Vision’s words while Tony deadpan looked at the camera.

Vision: Acting skills *blinks at the camera* I was trying to tell Tony about Y/N’s acting skills.

“Tony, are you alright?” Vision asked over the crushing of a fresh carrot being shoved down the sink.

“I’m fine,” Tony stretched his lips in a smile while his eyes never let go of the horror, shoving the biggest gourd from the vegetable pile down the sink to murder it while the camera zoomed in on his disturbing expression, “everything’s fine.”

Vision’s golden pupils contracted as he looked at Tony and then up at the camera.

Vision: *sombre mood**holds a cigar in his hand**looks at a distant void* All these years saving the earth, I think Tony has forgotten the meaning of keeping things light.

*turns at the camera* Hm? Oh, no I am not smoking this. This is for adding an intense effect to the conversation *smiles* Rhodey and Sam taught me that.

 The Facility Entrance

One camera looked down from the first floor at the dark skin plump lady entering the facility with Happy, being directed towards the elevator. “Who is she?” The camera swivelled from the stranger disappearing downstairs to a curious Scott bending way more than he should over the railing to get a good look at the stranger. He would have almost tripped over if it weren’t for Rhodey grabbing his pants when he did.

“I was just checking for ants on the roof down-on the uhh ceiling there,” Scott tried to explain himself while trying to sound cool and casual- nothing like a normal human about to fall face-first on the ground floor.

“Yeah, and I was looking for a dumb chimp set free,” Rhodey mocked a laugh before gesturing him towards the lounge.

“I would consider myself more of a Panamanian white-faced Capuchin,” he muttered under his breath as he followed the man.

In the lounge, Vision stirred cream into his cup of coffee while Tony seemingly brooded in front of the flatscreen. 

The camera looked at an unaware Tony turning his head from the screen, first at Rhodey and then at the elevator when it dinged at the arrival of the woman.

Tony got up as the woman stepped foot into the lounge, taking in the place around her. “What are you doing here? We didn’t have a session today!” Tony called out with his arms open to display his surprise, his eyes bouncing in question from Happy to Rhodey.

The woman in a Mauve dress handed her coat to Happy while passing a look at the cameras around the lounge along with the company. “I was called by a concerned friend about you having an episode here this morning.”

One of the cameras panned in on Vision taking a sip of his coffee while sharing a look with it before disappearing out of the lounge through a wall as quietly as he had come.

Tony stuttered in shock, unable to get words out of his mouth. “Wh-ha-wh-I did NOT have an episode!”

The woman looked at him with a dead expression, not even blinking. “So you did not force a gourd down the garbage disposal?” she asked in a low pitch, even Scott felt a tingle of horror down his spine.

Tony paused for a second before crossing his arms across his chest. “The gourd was rotten,” he simply stated.

“For sleeping with your daughter?” came another dead snap from the lady, leaving Scott’s jaw on the floor with a muted ‘what’. And Tony’s eyes went wide with rage. “HE DID NOT SLEEP WITH MY DAUGHTER! HE SO MUCH AS TOUCHES HER WITH THE WRONG INTENTION, IT WILL BE HIM INSTEAD OF THAT GOURD IN-” Tony paused to look around the room, realising what he just did.

“Congratulations, Anthony,” the lady exclaimed with not even an ounce of sympathy in her voice, “you just played yourself. Now sit yo ass down before I have to whoop it like the time when you and James broke curfew to go party at night.”

Rhodey gasped in full offence. “Mama, why you gotta bring me in every time he does somethin’ wrong?!”

Scott gasped again, looking right at Rhodey, “She’s your mama?!” The delight on his face and in his high-pitched voice was immeasurable.

“You wanna find out, come sit on the couch next to yo brother,” she replied, pointing at the sofa while she herself took the comfy armchair and got her reading glasses and notebook out of her purse.

Rhodey stood there contemplating for a second before giving a nod. “You’re on your own, Anthony.”

Tony sat down on the couch. “Traitor,” he called out to Rhodey’s figure walking away.

Scott folded his hands in front of him and turned to Mrs Rhodes. “What can I get you, Mrs Rhodes? Tea, coffee, juice, Pina Colada?”

Mrs Rhodes smiled at Scott. “Tea would be nice, darling. Thank you.” And turned back to Tony only to be distracted by the image of you and Lulu sitting in what seemed like a parking lot of some Motel made in modern Egyptian architecture. You stroked Lulu’s hair while he purred when Loki walked out of the entrance towards you.

“We got a room. Come on,” he mentioned before walking towards a patio with you and the rest.

“Is that-” Mrs Rhodes did not say anymore as her eyes still tried to come in terms with what she was seeing.

“A live feed with eight-hour delay coming from one of the cameras they have with them. Javier’s behind the camera. He’s a sweet boy. And that dark-haired beast is Loki,” Tony grumbled under his breath, his eyes never leaving the God on the screen.

“I don’t care about him,” she announced, horrified, “what in the name of Christ is that damn thing walking around with your daughter?!”

Tony looked back at the screen, confused. “That’s Lulu. It’s some cat-like alien she adopted. It’s harmless. All it does is hoot and chirp all day.”

Mrs Rhodes’ eyes went away from the screen to a distant void to contemplate something inside her head. “You daughter. Adopted. An alien.” Turning towards Tony with those judgmental eyes of a mother, she almost sang, “Now, who does that remind me of? Honey-” she called out for Scott without taking her eyes off Tony- “might as well keep a bottle of scotch ready for me.”

 Fifteen Minutes Later

The camera was now settled outside the Lounge in the balcony with a sneaky Scott looking inside past Tony and Mrs Rhodes at the flatscreen. He was so engrossed in his OTP’s movements, he did not sense Sam walking down the stairs from the garden-cum-bar on the roof. Sam, on the other hand, looked at the man with pure judgement before settling down on the lounge seat behind the strategically set plants in front of the window. “‘Sup, stalker.”

Scott sighed. “Come up with another name, I can’t hear what they are talking about.”

“Why would you want to hear what Tony and Mrs Rhodes are talking about?”

“No! Not them! Y/N and Loki! Tony kicked me out because he’s having a therapy session. I don’t care what those two are talking about. I want to find out what is going on between those two!”

Sam shrugged. “Use their earphones man,” he pointed at Ana behind the camera, who took two wireless earpieces out of frame before handing it to them.

“...just two people staying at a motel for the night. Not to mention stuck on another planet with no one but each other to trust. Now tell me what is not to your liking here, Tony,” Mrs Rhodes’ voice echoed through the earpieces.

Tony head slumped on the headrest of the sofa as he watched the feed.

You entered the decently spacious room coloured in themes of sandy yellow with patterns of blue halfway on the walls, putting your backpack down on the table in the middle. “Wow! This looks so much more decent for a space Motel,” you appreciated.

Loki dropped the bag he was carrying, almost receiving a wince from you. “Careful! The Hardy boys said half of this stuff is to be handled with care.”

“They are shurikens, tasers and canisters of medicines. I think we’ll be fine, darling. And what is with you adding space to everything you see here?”

You swiped a finger at the window sill, impressed at it having gathered no dust at all. “What should I call it then, space buddy?”

Loki paused before letting loose the slightest smirk. “Learn the names of the places you visit. And the people you meet. And the objects you discover. You never know when it might become handy.”

Mrs Rhodes raised a brow at Tony, who was frustrated at not finding any window to point his fingers at Loki.

“Oh, I never thought about it that way,” you stated, before turning away from the windows view to a beautiful garden outside. “So, who’s taking the couch.”

Javier called dibs by jumping on the couch before anyone of you could say something, leaving you and Loki to look at each other before looking at the lone bed.

"Loki," you sang in a suspicious tone, "there is only one bed."

Both Scott and Tony felt their bodies pause everything to lean a little towards the screen.

Loki too, stood still by the foot of the bed, exactly opposite to you. "The receptionist said she can loan us an extra mattress."

You raised your head and your brows. "Did she now." Taking a casual step towards the edge of the bed you stopped you saw Loki cover the same distance as you. "You know, I have had a looong journey. And a space journey on top of that-" you let your finger run itself over the edge of the white sheet covering the mattress- "not to mention I'm a weak little human. So I should-"

"Before you finish that sentence," Loki interrupted with his raised finger, "might I remind you of the one thing that is keeping you safe in this...space. To fight monsters and horny space young adults-"

"You told me I used 'space' a lot."

"I don't care-” he breathed even before your words ended- “that thing is me. So, as a sign of your gratitude I should-”

Before he could finish the sentence, you jumped over the bed and he followed by a nearly screamed out ‘no!’ in your direction, his entirety landing over you.

There lay both of you, crossed upon each other.

“Ar-Are you seeing this?!” Tony yelled over here, flailing his hands at the flat screen, directing Mrs Rhodes’ gaze at the zero distance between your butt and his body.

“Give me this bed, Loki!!” you declared from under him, your voice almost muffled by the sheets and pillows.

“No, I am having this bed and you can fight me if you want,” Loki announced with his claws in the sheets against the movement of your butt to move him away from you and ultimately from the bed.

While Tony was having a crisis, the camera caught another face outside the lounge window staring at the screen with a dropped jaw and a hand to the heart. Another one stared at that dropped jaw, trying to make sense of it.

“Hey,” Sam called out to Scott before proceeding to poke his arm with a finger, “hey. You okay? You havin’ a stroke? You gotta tell me if you havin’ a stroke. Scott. Scott. Tell me if you havin’ a stroke so I can get up and go. Scott. Sco-”

Sam: *deadpan* Oh my God, he fuckin’ dead.

*silence*

*snickers* *gets out his phone* I gotta text Peter this.

“What am I trying to see here?” Mrs Rhodes finally sighed.

Tony’s face felt like she just punched him in the chest. “What do you mea- that son of a bitch trying to get insufferably close to my daughter!” Tony wheezed and hissed and nearly cried.

“Your daughter doesn’t seem to care,” she laid back into the cosy chair while looking at the screen with keen observation.

You held the edges of the bed frame when Loki tried to pull you away. “NO! MINE!” you yelled, never ready for Loki’s pointed fingers coming to poke you in your waist. The sound that came out of you made Lulu jump from the window sill and hide under the sofa. “DO THAT AGAIN AND I WILL FART IN YOUR STUPID FACE!!”

“Not before I pick you up and chuck you on the lumpy mattress they will send over-ow, you are heavy.”

Loki was already grabbing you by the waist, ready to pull you away from the bed to the chair on the other end. But he was not ready for the work of your hands, pulling away on the bed sheet to twist around and wrap him in it, covering his face entirely. Your action made him move back with some muffled curses, his back banging into the wall, letting you get a headstart on that bed. But that headstart too was made up for thanks to his weirdly long legs, his arms pulling on your legs to get you off that frame you were hanging on to with your life.

Both of you grunted and fought to claim more territory than the other before the eight-hour travel wore both of you down to panting and tapping out of this messed up wrestling game.

“Time out,” you tapped, “time out. Let’s be adults about this.”

Loki nodded, turning on his back to breathe and get up. “Let’s go take a walk. Get some air. We’ll decide when we come back.”

“Cool,” you gulped in some spit to wet your overworked throat, “when we get back and still don’t know what to do, Javi can sleep in the bed and we choose between the sofa and the mattress.”

Javier knocked on the side table to bring your eyes to him. ‘I don’t want anything to do with this’, he signed before tucking his head under a tide-pod shaped cushion, leaving you and Loki to sort this bedroom tussle.

“What is it?”

“Everything?!”

“I cannot help you until you tell me exactly what it is that is making you uncomfortable, Tony.”

“Well, for starters, the very existence of this son of a-”

“Anthony.” The stress on his name followed by the death stare brought Tony to calm him down and slump back into the sofa. He raised his hands before letting them drop in defeat.

“You know I just met her, right? She just walked into my life, Roberta. Well, of course, that walking in part was something I did without letting her in on too many details.”

Roberta raised her brows.

“Okay, fine. I didn’t tell her at all. But then this guy came in at the same time she did. He not only deliberately let out the truth, making her leave, but also got her stuck in the freaking space with him!!”

“Really? How did you take it when you realised she knew?”

“I nearly had a heart attack! I thought she would hate me, never want to talk to me. Would cut all ties and disappear...in a manner of speaking.” Tony picked up the Rubik's cube kept on the side table to play with it while restlessly moving his leg where he sat.

“And did she do that?”

“...no.”

“Was she angry at you? Or Loki?”

“...no. She was worried. Anxious even.”

“Hmm. Have you felt the same kind of resentment for Loki otherwise? Before he got stuck in space?”

Tony looked up at the screen at the camera flies powering up and buzzing about around you and Loki as you headed out to check the rest of the scenery in that beautiful motel. “There was this one time when he went undercover with her. Something I did not approve of. Neither his presence nor hers on that mission.” He lowered his voice to whisper, “didn’t have to pretend they were on a date for something so serious.”

Roberta closed her notebook. “Okay,” she announced, removing her glasses and keeping them aside. “Before we go any further, Tony, I am sure you are aware why you’re being so sensitive about Loki hanging out with your daughter. Aren’t you?”

Tony shrugged. “Yeah. Because he tried to take on earth once. He can’t be trusted.”

“Mm-hmm,” there went that brow up again.

“...what.”

“Because you are trying to be her father,” she declared with a swat of her notebook on his anxious leg, making it stop. “You are trying to be a part of her life like any normal person. But you are being way too overprotective when it comes to Loki.”

“Oh, I am not-”

“Did he not save your life?”

Even if Tony tried, he was unable to form words in contradiction. “Did he not save her life? Twice? He has been living with y’all for a good amount of time now. In that time, has he caused any problem that might have suggested he is not fit to be around your daughter?”

Tony groaned. “He’s a GUY!!! AND A BEAUTIFUL ONE AT THAT!!!”

“And you think your girl is some dumbhead who does not know that?”

Tony never got the chance to answer that. “You think she does not know how much potential for danger that guy has? She is not blind Tony. Neither is she a child you need to watch over twenty-four seven. She is an adult who can take care of herself. What she needs from you is not surveillance but an openness to letting her know that you are there for her even if you were not there before. And if- this is a big if- if Loki ever hurts her, you don’t have to stand there with a banner spelling ‘I told you so’. You have to hug her and protect her. And in the name of whatever Lord it is that you pray to, Tony, you have to stop projecting your guilt like this. Her getting lost in space was not your fault.”

“How did you-I never told you half of these things!”

“I have ways to get it out of people, mister.”

“Rhodey,” Tony hissed.

“No!” Roberta swatted him again, this time on his head. “No one blames you for that incident. Neither should you. You hear me?”

Tony nodded with his lips pressed. “Yes, ma’am.”

“So, what is the first thing that you will be doing now?”

Tony clicked his tongue while looking at the flatscreen. “I will...stop making missiles loaded with Loki’s DNA signature designed to blow him up.”

Swat!

“Ow! I’m kidding! Jesus, woman! I will stop guilt-tripping myself and I will stop worrying about Y/N. But that does not mean I will stop working on ways to get her home.”

“And?”

“And...I will be nicer to Loki.”

“Even if he starts dating your daughter?”

“WHYYY would he-” Tony looked at a very serious Roberta looking at him to complete that sentence. “Theoretically. Theoretically, if he starts dating my daughter, I-” he inhaled- “will mind my own business. But you can’t change me in a day. I’ll go after his knees if he does something that directly affects me.”

Roberta clapped her hands together. “Well, we are done for today. We will try some breathing exercises on Thursday along with exploring more of this relentlessness with Loki. Now, go get yo mama some iced tea.”

Tony chuckled at Roberta’s enthusiasm. “Okay. Which one? Peach, lemon, uhh-”

“The one with Long Island in it,” she ended, shifting to the sofa to watch whatever was going on in space. “And bring me some popcorn.”

 Motel Galacto-Ra, Eight Hours Earlier

“Loki?”

“Hmm?”

“How are we paying the rent for the night?”

“With our bodies. Ow!”

He chuckled even though his rub hurt from your elbow. "I borrowed some talons from your boyfriends when we left."

You crinkled your brows. "And by borrowed you mean…"

Loki simply shrugged and kept walking through the garden with you. The flowers, some colourful, some transparent to your eye, were in full bloom along the strip of water that flowed from the mountain at the entrance outside.

"Keep me updated on what all is precious on any planet we land, okay? In case I have to barter with someone, you know," you added casually.

Loki smiled at you while you were distracted by the sound of mushing potatoes from your other side. You turned to watch a creature with what looked like boils on his entire body and four arms lean by a lamp post. His green coloured beard hid most of his face but not his beady red eyes looking at you while he grunted. "Lookin' sparkling baby!" He catcalled you, making you mock a disgusted laugh out your lungs.

"Oh my God, there is catcalling even here?" You gasped in whispering tones to your company, continuing to match pace with the God.

“This universe has all sorts of elements, darling,” he sighed, “even the perverted kind.”

“Mmm, I could see that with your old ex-boyfriend in that whorehouse,” you slipped in, watching him watch you from the corner of his eyes. It was hard to keep the giggles in after a few seconds. “Hey, I’m not judging you,” you added, “in fact, I’m in awe. I wish I could have half of that confidence to pull something this big off. You have to teach me. Loki, you have to teach me.”

Before Loki could speak, an eerie whistle came from across the garden. A curvy alien with those Disney-female eyes and tentacles for hairs cooed at Loki. “Look at that fibre making up your limbs. Arrrr! Leave that little thing and come over here, you feisty beast, and I will show those beautiful parts of yours some good time.”

You had to blink yourself to the reality of having to hear those words. Loki ignored it. But the fly cameras could see you didn’t. “He’s more than just a body you space holes! Buzz off!”

An involuntary smile was already coming over his lips, the corner of his eyes crinkling as his lips parted to show his teeth to anyone who was looking. The entire emotion looked so alien yet so beautiful on him. And in the midst of this cheery daze, he opened his pocket dimension to take something out. “Here,” he called out to you softly, bringing forward his hand towards you, “keep this on you.”

Curious and bedazzled by the walnut-sized purple crystal in his hand, you took it with sounds escaping your lungs. “Thanks, Loki. Looks expensive. Wait-” the excitement in your eyes shifting to horror- “is something wrong? Are we not safe here? Are you going to sell your body off to the owner in exchange for the rent? Will I have to find my way back alone? I don’t want this! Let me go talk to the manager.”

“What? NO! Why would you think that?” Loki was truly horrified at the turn it took. “My body would sustain you for your lifetime.”

You thought about it. "Hmm. You would make a good stripper."

"I would make an amazing stripper."

"Ehhh you need a little work though. You didn't do much at Hudson's."

"Hudon. And that's because I was put there against my will. If I wanted I could."

You stared at his unadulterated joy in admitting. "What." Your lips could not stop the smile that was nearly closing your eyes before a snicker left you. "Oh my God, you are so cute," you confessed softly.

Loki tsked and rolled his eyes. "This pendant is for your protection. Keep it close. And take this too."

He opened his pocket dimension again to bring out a small dagger.

"OoooOoooh a KNIFE!" you hissed with excitement in your eyes, going for it while Loki pulled it away from your hands.

"Woah! Calm down, woman! You need to learn how to use it first."

His arm blocking your shoulders did not let yours reach even inches close to the dagger. "Argh! All I need to do is point and stab! Gimme!"

"No. NO! Stop it. You're only getting this when you promise you will use it only in case of emergencies."

You let his arm balance all your weight when you stopped going for the dagger and let your arms dangle on either side. "Ugh. Fine. You can teach me how to use it. Now please give it to me!" When he didn't, you broke into a strong.

"Give it to me, give it to me, give it to me, baby!"

Both of you felt a sudden chill in your body. "I don't know why I suddenly miss Clint."

"Me too," Loki added with quite the discomfort on his face.

.

“Okay. Follow my instructions by the letter and remember- one move too fast or too slow and it can be the end of you.”

The camera in the flies now zoomed in on your dead expression. “Way to start a lesson on a new skill, Professor,” you spewed.

“Now show me how you hold your dagger.”

You showed him. He pressed his lips and kept his hands on his waist. It took a lungful to get him to speak again. “We are not cutting peppers here, Y/N.”

“How about your hair. Can I cut that?” Loki swatted your hands coming for his locks. “Ow!”

He positioned himself behind you, patting the side of your shoulders. “Straighten your back. Come on.” When he saw you taking your sweet time with it, he poked with his finger on one side of your back, making you jolt forwards.

“Hey! It’s straight! My back’s straight. My boobs are out. What more do you want?!”

“Here.” He lifted your right hand with his. The dagger was shifted in your palm by his pale fingers going pink at the end. The hilt was positioned before his fingers curled yours over it. All through it, the distance became a bare minimum; your back touching his chest while your hair tried to tease his face. “The dagger will always stay away from you,” he stated softly with an ounce of seriousness mixed into his voice. “When the enemy is close to you, use this style to slash him. Run it the opposite way-” he directed your arm with his, his hand still around yours- “and when you come back, your turn it to give them one more wound.”

“Cool,�� you exclaimed. The glow on your face along with that undiluted smile stuck till your eyes were something else entirely. This was some unadulterated joy you were feeling, learning to play with knives. Loki was watching your face from the side, not really able to digest that rush properly.

Loki: I have never seen anyone so happy to play with daggers. *shakes his head lightly* *smiles at a distant void* *camera zooms out behind him to show you swishing your dagger in the air in the garden while yelling ‘taste the metal of my shuriken, Sasuke! You unfuckable, overrated snake!*

*camera comes back to pan onto Loki’s face with a smile frozen but the eyes reflecting a newfound horror*

“Now, this one is for long-range combat. Always keep your arm straight and gut your enemy like this. Your other arm will help block and push in defence while this one will attack.”

“Ooh!” you whistled, “this one will go stabby stab.”

Loki exhaled. “Yes. That. Come on. Let’s play it out and see how much you have learned.”

You cooed, moving the dagger in between your fingers quite invitingly. “Roleplay. I like it.”

You positioned yourself opposite Loki. “Ready when you are.”

Within two long strides, he closed the distance, his hand coming for your left arm, trying to grab it. You turned against the pull of his force, to arm the dagger right into his back. “Stab. You’re dead,” you declared.

You couldn’t help chuckle out loud at his expression. “What! Natasha taught me a few moves.”

“When?”

“Remember our weekend getaways?”

“Oh,” Loki was impressed. “Again.”

This time he shed a little part of precaution and came for you. You ducked and blocked one dagger coming for you but missed the other. “Stab. You’re hurt,” he stated right before your leg came for his, bringing him down on one knee, allowing you to point your dagger at his defenceless ribcage.

“Stab. One for one,” you smiled.

His arm wrapped around yours, leaving you with no way to use the dagger it held. His other hand came for the fist you were about to throw at him; his toothy grin smack in your face. “Not laughing now-”

The impact of your leg with his crotch was not a clean shot. But it did the job. Loki’s words drowned in the pool of his own groans as he stumbled over you and you hit your back on the ground.

The flies roaming above took an air-shot of Loki’s grousing figure toppled over you while your expressions reflected a wave of embarrassing cringe you were feeling in your gut. “I’m sorry,” you whispered, cautiously patting Loki’s head.

“Natasha teach you that too?” he grunted with curiosity.

“...yeah.” You screwed your eyes shut, never stopping the gentle stroking and patting of his hair. “Your hair smells nice?” you tried the encouraging words.

You: *sorry expression* It was a fluke. I never meant to hurt him…*cringes* *whispers* or his potential babies? *camera pans out to show Loki breathing in and out throw his mouth while bending his legs and repeating it* You need an ice-pa-

Loki: *jumps away from you* Do not come near me.

You: Come on, Loki. *steps closer* It was just bad luck. And a very very lucky shot.

Loki: No. *walks out of the frame* I’m going back.

 Motel Room

Javier's face came into focus as he adjusted the lens on his new- much lighter- camera while checking the live feed on his old one before turning the latter off and packing it to keep in his backpack gifted by the Hardy Boys. The view then flipped to you coming out of the shower in a black tank top and matching shorts.

"This is really comfortable. I should have asked the boys to pack me more of this fabric."

Loki sat on the floor with a device that produced a holographic map of the galaxy they were in right now. He shifted the view with a serious look on his face. You paused the little serotonin rush to sit down on the fuzzy carpet with your knees close to your chest. "So, where are we going next?"

A heavy breath was taken in before Loki pinched out to a location. "Knowhere."

"Nowhere?"

"Knowhere. I know someone there who might be able to get these cuffs off me. Once I'm free I can use the magic to teleport us to a safe place, if not back home."

The crinkle of confusion in your brows was something he saw coming. "Teleportation costs a lot. It takes a toll on me. So I have to make sure I have the required tools and energy before we make the leap." 

“...oh. So, back when Cassie and I were stuck on the...uh…”

“Oh,” Loki sat up, “that...was a pure adrenaline rush. And it was only for a matter of seconds so it was easy.”

You did not seem convinced by his words. But something else took dominance in your thoughts. “I’m sorry you had to visit that place because of me.”

Loki simply shrugged. “No big deal. I could do it again if I wanted to.”

*somewhere on earth eight hours later, in the Avengers facility, a Scott Lang clutches his chest and winces*

“Come on let’s sleep. I’m tired from all the training.” You got up and made your way to the bed.

“We didn’t decide on who gets the bed yet.”

“Yes we did-” you were already under the covers, the cosiness making you whimper with ecstasy- “we’re both sleeping on the bed. It’s big enough for both of us.”

Loki thought for a moment before walking to the other side of the bed. “Fine by me. But fair warning, a lot of souls will die wailing tonight.”

You adjusted yourself well, nearly drowning in the fluffy blue duvet, over you. “The only thing killing any souls will be my post-travel farts. I’d suggest you get another duvet from the closet.”

The camera panned in on Loki’s face as he began his ritual of taking off his shoes. “You know, I used to think the reason you do not have any suitors for yourself is because of the over protective elements in your family. Now I’m thinking it might have something to do with you and your tendency to oversha-and she’s asleep.”

The camera zoomed out to show you already beginning to snore with your lips parted.

“Yup,” Loki whispered in a defeated sigh.

 The Lounge, Night-time on Earth

Tony alone sat on the sofa in front of the flatscreen with all the lights off, drinking chamomile tea. The clock read twelve-thirty and the grounds were silent- except for the noise of video games coming from the Dorms.

Zuko jumped up onto the couch, nudging at Tony’s arm to let him cuddle against the man. Tony, more than happy to open his arm to let the little pupper crawl into the space and settle his head on his thigh, cooed at him. “Hey there, buddy. How are you doing? Miss your mom?”

Zuko looked up to Tony with his pure puppy eyes, making the man shoot a pure smile at him. “Me too, kid,” he sighed, “me too.”

Both of them turned to the screen to watch you and Loki sleep in the same bed. The top angle really did cover everything, though it made Tony wonder how and why did they get such a good angle. Loki’s head rested on one arm while the other rested on his torso above the duvet, still like a log, breathing like a silent river through the woods. You, on the other hand, slept anything but straight. Your body was sprawled all over your side, your legs awry, the duvet slipping down the edge, snoring quite audibly with drool all over your pillow.

“A part of me is glad she has Loki by her side,” he confessed softly to his company, stroking that soft fur with his fingers. “Don’t tell him that.”

There was a stir. Your hands moved. And then your legs. Your brows furrowed and you slowly turned into a fetal position before a whine left your throat.

“Noooo,” you mumbled in your dense, sleepy state, “don’t take me awayyyyy.”

“Huh,” Tony commented, “she sleep talks. Just like her father.” He smirked.

“No!” your voice grew a pitch higher, “don’t let em take me awaaaay.”

Loki was already opening his eyes, his body on alert as he turned his face to watch the tension collecting on your forehead. Up on his one arm, he bent over you; his movement making Tony pause his whole body and perk up Zuko's head at the screen. Only when he grabbed the duvet to come back and put it over you did the two spectators go back to their normal breathing cycle.

You were tucked into the duvet as discreetly as possible before Loki’s hand stroked your hair to calm you down. The little brush of his hand in your hair worked, making you turn and scooch a little closer to him, giving into his soothing touch.

Tony could see the little smile growing on Loki’s lips. “Mother used to do it when I had nightmares. It always worked.”

Once he was content that you no longer were troubled, he receded his hand, turning on his back to look directly at the camera. The serenity on his face added to the lungful of air he took while studying something Tony seemed to have an idea about.

“I know you can watch us, Tony,” Loki began, making Tony’s tensed shoulders drop, “I don’t know how late though. I know it must be killing you to watch your daughter be trapped with a monster like me in some galaxy unreachable. I can only imagine. But I understand if my company does not bode well with you.”

Tony twisted his lips, still stroking Zuko. “You’re right about that.”

“Just to put your mind at ease, I am not interested in anything twisted when it comes to her,” he continued, turning to look at your placid face squished against the pillow, “she’s better than you lot anyways.”

Tony raised a brow at the screen, making the lone camera recording him from the shadows pan in on the confused surprise on his face. “So, you’re saying you made a friend? She’s a friend? Like best buddies or something? Like do you like her?”

Almost as if Loki could read what Tony would say, his calm face turns back to the camera to seem as serious as possible. “She is tolerable. Nothing more.”

“I’m fine with that,” Tony agreed with open arms.

“She’s stronger than I thought,” Loki confessed, letting his head dip into the pillow to look beyond the camera, “I never imagined her to be this composed in such dangerous places. Makes me think she’ll do fine on that dirty old heap of junk crawling with monsters worse than me.”

“Ha ha,” Tony mocked a laugh but kept an eye out to check whether Loki was really playing him or being serious at that moment.

“Well,” Loki turned back to look at the camera, “doesn’t mean I will pass up on any opportunity to make you claw at your skin whenever you see me close to her.” The broader the smirk on his lips, the more Tony could feel a ringing in his whole body.

“You wouldn’t do that,” he whispered at the screen, “you are too high and mighty for such a cheap play.”

Loki’s tongue darted out to wet his lips, that sick smirk still stuck on that wicked face. “I mean, what are friends if not...close. Right?”

Tony paused the stroking again- making Zuko face him and wonder why his good times were being interrupted again.

“Okay Lulu,” Loki called out the camera, that stirred at the name, “get down from there. Sleep somewhere comfortable. Somewhere you do not have me or her in your view.”

The camera shifted, jumped on the carpet, moved in circles before meeting the fuzzy fabric and going dark.

“Yeah, I’m not falling for that,” Tony admitted, chuckling to himself, “like Y/N is ever going to fall for that. She’s smarter than that. I mean, look at her father!”

Zuko did look at your father but with a tilt of his head as if questioning all that Tony just spewed in the disinterested air.

“What,” Tony looked back at the pupper, who tilted his head again, in the other direction, “oh. Is that what you think? That’s it. No more cuddles with me. Go ask someone else for love, you traitor. I’m not buying you any more doggie toys, you stupid pupper. Shoo!”