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morganalatina21 · 1 year ago

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Manipulating Death: Chapter Twelve

Series Summary: When Harry discovers he has a twin sister that was hiding for years, he wants to know all about her, specially about her ability to bring people back to life.

a/n: yo yo! (Timmy's voice). I know, I know, it's been a rough couple of months since I last posted something but i was just starting college (i passed in one of the top best in my country so I'm really glad), and now that everything's outta the way I can go back to writing so better get used to receive some news from me baby!

Aaand, Ik this one's a little shorter than usual but i just wanted to announce that im back so... yeah

(Also, english isn’t my first language so I’m sorry in advance lol)

Last Chapter | Masterlist

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When summer came and Harry had to go back to Hogwarts and then back to his uncle’s house, Sirius was ready to throw hands.

The remaining marauders grew a very solid anger towards their old headmaster after everything Y/n and Regulus told them about, and were ready to disobey him one more time, however after some long days of talking, they decided to play the game.

If Dumbledore was allowed to lie to them and risk their lives as if they were a bunch of pawns, so could the Order.

So Harry, Hermione and Ron went to Hogwarts to finish their fifth school year, the Potter would write letters to his sister everyday and once every two days they’d talk through the fireplace.

He’d tell her how his day was, how he missed the twins fooling around, how Umbridge was such a pink bitch he could throw up; and Y/n would give small hints about how their search for the Horcruxes was going, and the best way to hex his professor without her knowing.

He avoided referring to her as a sister, and just went with “a very dear friend”, and also never mentioned Dumbledore, just in case he decided to somehow capture Edwiges and read the messages.

But they were so happy being able to talk to each other basically everyday after being almost sixteen years apart.

The boy was happy he, for once, could write home, to someone who was actually interested, some family.

Of course, before, he had Sirius, but the man saw him as a replacement for James, and Harry viewed him the same way; this was different, he didn’t saw Y/n as his mother, neither did her.

But it was pretty clear he was jealous whenever someone else interacted with her.

Like this time when Hermione told him she sent a letter to Y/n to ask about some potions and how she was healing, Harry turned red immediately and wondered why she was so worried if she wasn’t her sister.

Or whenever they were talking through the fireplace and Regulus would be right beside her in the room.

“It’s like” He mumbled, “You guys have your own families and I don’t interfere, let me have mine!”

Speaking about her healing, it took longer than expected, and she hid that from Harry, not wanting the boy to worry over nothing, but Regulus only allowed her to step out of the bedroom when her brother was going back to Petunia’s house.

“Honestly, I do think I will die here.” She confessed one day when he came in with her meal. “But of boredom.”

The day Harry had to go back to his uncle's, he decided to see his sister one last time before spending the entire summer without her.

And everyone got a pretty clear view from Harry's jealousy that day.

Remus left the house to receive the golden trio outside, not knowing an exact hour they'd be there, so it was just Regulus and Sirius downstairs and Y/n in her room.

The kids' presence not being exactly announced when they arrived, both Black Brothers thinking she'd be asleep and didn't wanted to bother the poor girl.

Well, they were wrong.

Because her voice came loud and clear, not even a little groggy: "Hey Reggie?"

They perked up at that, the man standing up.

"I'm bored, do you wanna come lay with me so I can play with your hair?"

Their eyes widened, staring at the younger Black in pure shock. He nodded his head at them, as in greeting goodbye and started going upstairs.

Mid-way he started running towards her, knowing she'd probably change her mind if he took too long. "Yes!"

Harry was fuming, as red as Ron's hair.

He busted into his sister’s room and finding her messing with Regulus’ curls. The boy shooed him away harshly and dropped his own head on her lap, staring at the Black with a cold glare that made Y/n laugh.

After a couple minutes, they decided to hang out with everyone else, and Harry would never leave his sister, following her around like a shadow and even making Regulus jealous, and it was so comic for his brother.

She told Harry things they couldn't talk about through letters, like the possessor's training that Reggie was responsible for, or how the Horcruxes hunt was going in full details.

"That reminds me, I got something for you." Y/n announced before sprinting upstairs, to which Regulus was really unhappy about. But she then came back a few moments later, with an old and messy hairbrush on one hand. "It was our father's, it's the only thing I have from him and I want you to have it."

"Are you sure?" He reluctantly asked, holding it as if it could break and disappear if he as much breathed on it. But Y/n shook her head yes with a huge smile.

"Consider it an early birthday gift."

The boy felt his eyes watering, sucking in a hiccup and holding the Potter in a tight hug that almost made him cry his eyes out.

Throughout the rest of the year, Harry would look at the hairbrush almost as if he was begging for his dad's guidance. He felt back on his third year, standing by the lake, with Sirius and his own image passing out on the other side, waiting for his dad to come and save the day.

Except that right now, he knew it was basically his own mind giving him advice. The boy was desesperately trying not to get his hopes high that Y/n could bring them back to life.

She sure was powerful, but after her death she appeared to get weaker and weaker by the day.

He'd get letters from Remus or one of the Black brothers saying she was too sick to write, that they'd keep him uptaded on any important news.

But how could Harry stay fucking calm? Deep down, he felt lied to. He had no reason to suspect his godfather or his sistser's godfather, but Merlin there was something wrong.

And he was right.

Because a week after he arrived at the Dursley's, Regulus Black woke up to an empty bed except for himself.

Calling out her name, no answer.

The basement just as empty as the bed.

Sirius and Remus? Clueless.

Kreacher? Obliviated.

Y/n Potter was, once again, missing.

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Next Chapter

Taglist: @intoanothermind @moonysupremacy01 @maraudersarelifee @elleraelockwood @darkenwolfie @hopesf @lukewearingbeanies @azuredgalaxies @klazina-couch-potato @goldensunshineshit @kaverichauhan @venomsvl @mrs-billyrussooo @mikadorbs @iavenderh6ze @wizardsgrace @reblog-princess @dittos-blog-dylanobrien @roroswitherose @s-we-e-t-t-ea @ok-boke @warcelia @danyxthirstae01 @b-tchymoon @lovely-maryj @the-sander-fander @regulusblackloverr @coffeeaddictednymph @quackitysdrugdealer @pansexualwitchwhoneedstherapy @teamspideyman @artemis-the-ace @theprettytragic @loidforgerishotashell @criminalyetminimal @amortyong @qualitywitchchaos @musicconversedance @xcharlottemikaelsonx @esposadomd

#harry potter #regulus black #harry potter fanfiction #sirius black #remus lupin #black brothers #albus dumbledore #dumbledore #order of the phoenix #james potter #manipulating death series #regulus black x reader #marauders era #the marauders #marauders #dead gay wizards #peter pettigrew

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whataperfectwasteoftime · 2 years ago

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Common Grounds Chapter 9

Pairing: Marcus Pike x f!Reader

Rating: E (explicit smut, 18+ only)

Word Count: 2k

Warnings: PIV sex, sex against a desk, oral sex (f receiving), rimming, PLOT.

Summary: Marcus tries to talk to you about a work problem. That is, until the two of you get distracted. Again.

A/N: You know it's a Penny fic because they stop mid-conversation for some good old fashioned ass eating. Marcus Pike eats ass, folks. I'm gonna die on that hill. Anyways here have a chapter of this. I SWEAR I'm gonna finish it and I DO have a plot. LOL. Thank you to @littlebirdsbookshelf who read over this and convinced me that it's good.

Masterlist | Series Masterlist

“Have you ever done any exhibitions?”

“N-No, why–”

“Would you like to?”

Narrowing your eyes in confusion, you ask, “What do you mean?”

Marcus purses his lips. “Well…” he begins hesitantly.

“You just said it was a work problem,” you point out when he doesn’t continue. “Like, an FBI thing.”

Marcus nods, a little smile playing at his lips. “Yeah. An FBI thing.”

“And you’re an Art Crimes Detective,” you say, stroking your chin in an exaggerated show of thinking. “You want to put on an art show to… what, lure the bad guys in? Are they art thieves? Are they gonna try and steal my–”

“C-Can we slow down a little?” he says, looking at you with equal parts amusement and nerves.

“Sorry.” You duck your head sheepishly. “I-I just think your job is cool.”

Marcus’s face breaks into a wide grin. With a little hum of quiet laughter, he pulls you into his chest and kisses you sweetly on the forehead.

“I think it’s cool, too,” he chuckles softly. “But the problem is, I can’t really tell you any details about the case unless you agree to help first.”

“I agree,” you say immediately.

Marcus blinks down at you, his smile fading and worry etching itself into the little lines on his forehead. “Shit. Fuck. This was a bad idea, I–”

“Why? I could do it.”

“I have no doubts,” he says solemnly, reaching up to gently stroke your cheek with the backs of his fingers. “But you understand why I’m reluctant to make my girlfriend an FBI collaborator.”

“Mmm, say it again.”

“My girlfriend,” Marcus growls playfully, “who is looking far too sweet this morning, all tousled and wearing only a shirt.”

“I’m a mess,” you whisper, even as his mouth descends to capture yours.

“You look well-fucked,” Marcus whispers back, just before your lips meet.

His kisses, just as they were last night, are electric. Sparks shoot up and down your spine, making your back arch and pushing the two of you closer together. Marcus responds, his hand winding around to the base of your spine to pull you even closer, his other hand still resting on your cheek, guiding you in the kiss.

“Not… nearly well-fucked enough,” you sigh in between kisses.

“Excuse me?” he teases. “You saying I wasn’t thorough enough last night?”

“You were very thorough,” you simper. “But that was last night. What about this morning?”

“Insatiable,” Marcus murmurs against your mouth.

“Is that a problem?”

“Only in that you might find out my stamina has a limit,” he jokes.

“Are we anywhere near that limit right now?”

The hand still resting at your lower back suddenly surges downward to grab a rough palmful of your ass. “Absolutely not,” he growls.

“Then what are you waiting for?” you ask coyly, looking up at him through your eyelashes.

“Fuck, you’re perfect,” Marcus whispers under his breath. “Any objections to me bending you over this desk right here?”

“Not at all,” you answer breathlessly.

The words barely have time to escape your lips before you’re being turned and pressed down onto your paint-splattered desk. Despite the dominance afforded to Marcus in this position–standing over you with his hand splaying across your spine–he’s achingly soft and tender. His fingertips trail over your skin, leaving goosebumps in their wake and making you squirm under his touch. He takes his time; after the fervent collision last night, borne of weeks of tension, Marcus seems to be content in patiently exploring you with his hands this morning. He maps out which places make you shiver, and which ones make you squirm ticklishly. When he finally hooks his fingers under the band of your underwear, you feel him kneel down behind you to better allow him access to the skin of your thighs as he slowly drags the fabric down your legs.

Once removed, his hands travel back up, and you’re so focused on the feel of the way his palms caress your calves, the backs of your knees, your thighs, that the unexpected feel of his tongue on you from behind makes you squeak in surprise.

“I–oh!” you exclaim as Marcus lathes his tongue over your folds. “Y-You don’t–you don’t have to–”

“Shh,” is the only reply that comes from between your legs.

He eats you messily. This angle–the way he’s kneeling behind you, and you can’t see him–makes the act feel downright salacious. His thumbs are pulling you apart just underneath your cheeks, his nose alarmingly close to–to—and the heat rising to your face at the proximity of his face to—fuck, it makes almost makes you hesitantly call out for him to stop and come fuck you, instead, but he’s groaning into you like it’s the best damn meal he’s ever had, and you press your lips shut and try to give over to the sensations without overthinking.

Your legs are shaking. You know Marcus can feel the way you’re trembling for him–he makes a pleased little sound in his throat and soothes his palms up and down the side of your thighs for a few moments before digging his thumbs back in and spreading you even wider. He starts to lick even longer stripes, reaching up, up, up until he’s flicking his tongue against the place you had been so apprehensive about his nose being so close to.

Your head thunks roughly onto the desk when you feel the tip of his tongue dip just in slightly.

“Is this okay?” Marcus asks softly, checking in.

“I–I don’t know,” you admit truthfully. “No–no one’s ever–”

“Fuck,” he breathes–reverence in his tone. “Let me show you. I want all of you. Let me show you how much, huh?”

“Y-Yeah,” you gasp. “Okay.”

His tongue returns again–flicking against your clit, licking through your folds, and coming up to tease your little hole over and over again until you’re only capable of whimpering pitifully into the paint-stained wood of your desk. You’re right on the precipice of an orgasm, just another little lick to your clit would send you over the edge and you think he knows it.

You hear yourself start to beg–a soft litany of please, please, please as the pleasure reaches a plateau. Marcus must take pity on you, because he relents and buries his face at the crux of your thighs and turns all his attention onto your clit.

You fall apart for him immediately, your entire body seeming to seize with the pleasure he pulls from you. You’re still pulsing with aftershocks when you feel Marcus’s cock at your entrance, and all you can do is wail as he sheathes himself in one fluid motion. He’s loud too; you have one fleeting thought that every neighbor that shares a wall with you must know exactly how good you’re being fucked right now, but you can’t find it in yourself to care–not when Marcus’s cock is dragging out your pleasure in the most overwhelming of ways and both of you are completely lost in it.

You turn to the side, angling your head so you can watch him lose himself in you, and the sight makes your breath catch in your throat. Those warm, brown eyes are nearly black; his jaw is clenched and his lips slightly parted as he watches you take his cock over and over. His fingers dig into your hips, and when you arch your spine and start to push back against his thrusts, he makes a pained noise, his eyebrows pinching together as if the feeling pains him.

His eyes flick up, finally noticing that you’re watching him, and your eyes threaten to roll back when he pins you with that intense gaze. One of his hands leaves your hips and presses lightly against your cheek–whether to caress or to gently push you further into the desk, you can’t tell–and your lips automatically part, your tongue flicking out to seek his thumb.

“Fuck,” Marcus hisses in response, easing the digit partway into your mouth. “That what you want?”

“Mmhmm,” you answer emphatically, lips closing around his thumb and sucking.

As a result, you think, he starts to lose his rhythm. His thumb reaches deeper, taking over your mouth and his hips snap roughly against yours. His other hand shifts, snaking underneath you to press against your clit.

“Fuck,” he murmurs again. “Fuck, baby, you gotta cum for me, I can’t–can’t last any longer, not when you feel this good. Look so pretty beneath me like this, come on, baby, give it to me–”

His pleas fade away to a deep groan when he feels you pull up tight, just before you snap.

“That’s it,” he chants as he reaches his own end. “That’s it, that’s it–”

He buries himself into you like he could never get deep enough; his hips are flush against you, his hand pulling you closer still, his chest draping over your back. He gently withdraws his thumb from your mouth, giving you a soft kiss on the cheekbone.

“Incredible,” he whispers softly. “You are incredible.”

You push yourself up on your elbows shakily, the tingling in your legs making you feel off-balance until Marcus’s strong arms wrap around you and hold you firmly against him.

“Couch,” you murmur, the word ending on a soft whimper when his cock finally slips out of you.

“Mmhmm,” he agrees, walking you the few steps over to your sofa and sinking down without giving up his hold on you.

The two of you drift in the afterglow, watching the horizontal lines from your window blinds creep across the floor as the morning passes. You’ve never felt this content to simply exist with someone like this–no demands, no pressure, no worry that you’re not enough, or fear that you’re not wanted. From the beginning, Marcus has looked at you like you’re the only person in the room. His attention is as total as it is genuine–you’ve never once, not for a moment, felt anything other than pure, unashamed earnestness.

It’s unusual.

Marcus is an odd paradox; every time you try to figure him out, you come up short. He’s confident and obviously secure in who he is, but he’s also so very hesitant sometimes. You think about last night–when he had nearly begged you to go upstairs before he couldn’t stop. The way he had taken you was so… intense, so all-consuming, and yet–

He pairs that ferocity with soft smiles and an almost-dorky demeanor, and you’ve never felt more safe with another person. Safe.

“I wanna do it,” you announce after an indeterminate amount of time has passed just drifting in and out of daydreams.

“Nnnggh?” Marcus startles slightly, and only then do you realize that his breathing had been deep and even behind you.

“Sorry,” you say softly with a smile.

With a content hum, his arms tighten around you and he buries his face in the crook of your neck and shoulder to press an open-mouthed kiss to your skin.

“What’d you say?” he rumbles.

“Your case thing. I wanna do it. Wanna go undercover.”

Marcus clears his throat. “I-I think we need to temper some expectations, here–”

“I’m going undercover,” you repeat with a playful grin.

“You are not going undercover. I am going undercover, along with my team, at an exhibition that you would be putting on,” he says carefully.

You’re quiet for a moment. Marcus shifts anxiously behind you, and you turn in his arms, rolling over to face him.

“...Do I get an earpiece?”

“No.”

“A radio?”

“No.”

“Do I get anything?” you ask, reveling in Marcus’s flustered expression.

“You get a security detail,” he deadpans.

“Oh.” Your eyes flick up to his. “Is it dangerous?”

“No,” Marcus says emphatically. “Absolutely not. And we’d take every precaution. Wouldn’t take any chances with this.” He playfully taps the tip of your nose with his index finger.

“With this?” you parrot teasingly. “You mean with me?”

“You,” Marcus confirms quietly. “Us. What we–” He suddenly cuts himself off with a little self-deprecating chuckle. “Anyway, I wouldn’t ask you to do anything that wasn’t safe. We’d have a whole team of Agents on the floor and behind the scenes.”

“What about me?” you ask quietly. “What would I do?”

Marcus grins. “You sell your art.”

Next Chapter>>

#marcus pike #marcus pike x you #marcus pike x reader #marcus pike x f!reader #the mentalist #the mentalist fanfiction #pedro pascal

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youhideastar · 1 year ago

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(Yet Another) Fanfic Writer Ask Game!

9, 10 & 15 please 🙂

Yay, thank you for playing! Such fun questions to think about. 🥰 These questions are about favorite lines/scenes, most-read or most-kudos'ed fics, and word or phrases I use a lot. The ask game post is here!

9. What’s your favorite line(s) or scene(s) that you have written?

Oof, this is probably the hardest question on the list. The scene that immediately comes to mind is the parking garage scene from To Be Seen Aright, which I did a commentary on here. It's one of only two scenes I've ever cried while writing (the other is the lotus scene from Dangerous) and I think it succeeds in capturing something very deeply felt and visceral.

Honorable mentions for favorite lines go to:

"There's no dark place where forgiveness can't find you."/"That's what I'm afraid of," from Summer to Your Heart.

"That man is no family of mine," and "I thought my children would be Wens, once," from Familial Harmony.

"It knows its master," from A Sword With No Hilt.

The exchange where Nile asks Nicky if Andy met Jesus from World's Greatest Dad.

"All these would have lain, stiff and bloated, in a field, if not for Wei Ying’s terrible courage," from Tender.

Trying to pick one line from The Words in Your Head was so hard. I put my best writing of all time in that fic and then didn't finish it - what's wrong with you, Dea?! 🤣 I guess it's a tie between “I think you and I took different lessons from history,” and “Is it better?” Erik asks, staring him down. “To die by incompetence, or indifference, rather than malice? Or are you just as dead?”

10. What are your top five fics by kudos or by reads?

By reads, it's: So Wise We Grow, its short sequel it may be that the gulfs will wash us down, my two Hockey RPF Sid/Geno longfics, They Say Love Heals All Wounds and To Be Seen Aright, and my longest White Collar fic, Living Proof.

By kudos, it's: So Wise We Grow, it may be that the gulfs will wash us down, the Supernatural/White Collar crossover Unorthodox Methods, Living Proof, and They Say Love Heals All Wounds.

This is info that anyone could find by sorting my works page, so I assume the question is also asking how I feel about the results lol. I feel okay about them! Inevitably, if you've been writing for a long time, your most-read or most-kudos'ed work is unlikely to be your best work, because you get better over time (so your newest work is best) but your oldest work has had more time to accumulate hits and kudos. Plus, longfics and fics in juggernaut fandoms will do better (that Supernatural crossover has a wild number of kudos for a fic that's only 3,000 words!). So I'm at peace with the fact that these are not lists of my five best fics or my five favorite fics.

(For the CQL folks, my CQL work doesn't show up until #8 in kudos (Concord, as I expected), and #17 in hits (River-to-the-Sea Sure, which I did not expect, given its "Abortion" tag and Concord's popularity - despite my banging the drum for other A/B/O configurations, though, the people love an alpha LWJ/omega WWX fic, I guess!).

15. Are there words, phrases, mannerisms or scenes you tend to use a lot?

Oh, boy, are there ever. Is there any fanfic writer who has not been tormented by the paucity of ways to describe how people's eyes move when they smile?? I wouldn't say there are scenes I tend to use a lot, and for mannerisms, I try to stick to "canonical" mannerisms (Wei Wuxian's slouching and nose-rubbing, e.g., or Jin Ling's stubborn chin-thrust). But I find the metaphor of a dislocated joint being reduced so useful that I allow myself to use it once per fic if I want. 😂 After 132 fics, total originality of language is just not a feasible goal. And I have noticed that when describing a physical place, I tend to default to describing the lighting, and when describing a character's actions, I tend to default to describing where they are looking (down, away, making eye contact, etc.). There are also repetition concerns related to specific characters: for example, when writing Jin Ling or Jiang Cheng, I have to be careful or I'll use the word "scowl" five times per scene. 🤣 (I have given myself a pass for writing multiple fics where Wei Wuxian thinks about how good Lan Wangji looks in moonlight because I'm pretty sure that is a 100% accurate depiction of Wei Wuxian's internal monologue. 🤣)

#my writing #my fic #fic asks #ask game

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pommmec · 1 year ago

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FFXVI

I just finished playing FFXVI. I've kept a twitter thread on non spoiler thoughts here but this post is strictly on SPOILERS so be warned!!

vvvv Read more for my thoughts on FF16 vvvvv

First thing I want to state is that I played this with Japanese voices! I plan on watching lets plays of it which usually have it in English. I will do an update or a separate post once I've seen a full playthrough just to compare.

Combat I never played DMC5 so I don't know how that plays. I've played this without any of the accessibility accessories since I wanted to have a challenge. Its definitely not as hard or frustrating as Dark Souls. Even after playing probably 60+ hours I still find the dodge timing hard. Fighting giant beasts was the most frustrating. It was hard for me to get hits in. The gameplay does remind me alot of ff14 since there's your combos and cooldowns so I often spam buttons. Commanding Torgal does remind me of Nier Automata with commanding the pod but I didn't use Torgal as much as I probably should. It was hard to pick which eikon skills to keep. I mostly kept the high attack ones to spam when staggered. I really like the Bahamut laser beam since it does huge damage. I really like the look of Odin's but it was hard to use.

The Eikon fights were mostly cinematic which is fine. The arenas were quite busy and even busier with the spell effects lol Its very Kaiju battle or even Attack on Titan like. I didn't ever die during them. But as regular Clive I did die a handful of times and luckily the game is nice enough to have checkpoints and give you full inventory of potions. I died more times in Hunts than msq boss fights. I played Octopath 2 a couple months ago which is a turn based game. There's a secret boss that took me over an hour to fight it so I appreciate that FF16 doesn't make me do that, but it is also much easier in comparison. I did find the final boss fights underwhelming, but it does have some annoying af moves that I have no idea how to avoid getting hit by. The fight with Titan is my favorite just for the song and how neat it all was!

STORY Its was quite a ride, but it hasn't moved me as much as FF14 did. The sidequests got me more than the msq. Mostly since they're chains and you spend a lot more time with these characters than the enemy dominants themselves. I like the sidequests ladies more than Jill. I wish they didn't have her get captured multiple times lol I thought she was going to die to give Clive her Shiva powers but seems like you can just give it to him. Jill is an ok character. I wish they did a bit more with her but she ended up having to stay behind. There was a scene or two where she watches instead of helping that bothered me more than it should lol

Having Clive take up Cid's name surprised me. And to have some of the folks in the hideaway call him that too took me a bit to get use to. I did not expect Cid to die so soon or at all. And to have the hideaway destroyed gave me FF14 waking sands vibes.

Dion being gay and having a kissing scene surprised me and wish they do this in FF14! I'm glad they did an obvious gay couple with no stereotyping in a mainline FF game. I did not expect him to last as long as he did since the others died so quick. Quite a tragic character too. I was hoping he'd make it.

I love uncle Byron! What a great character and unexpected comedy relief lol I loved him almost immediately and also feared for his life. So I was very relived that not a single hair in his body was harmed in this game!

I'm glad Joshua is alive! I had a feeling since he seemed too important to just be a memory. Though I don't understand who the hooded figure is in the flashback that Clive saw. Also don't understand why he avoided Clive till the fight with Bahamut. Idk what he sounds like in eng yet but his jp voice is really nice. I was worried he was going to die again and it did upset me when it did happen. For Clive to have all his memories of him flash before his eyes was emotional. And for him to get resurrected and write a book called Final Fantasy in the post credits pleased me.

They did the Sephiroth route with the main antagonist, Ultima. Where they appear throughout the story to mess with you. I thought there might be a surprise never-heard-of last boss but no its all Ultima. I didn't find them to be the most interesting villain since its another alien god being. I did like the argument at the end that they're just the same as human.

Clive is a good boy! Judging by the subtitles eng Clive seems to have a different vibe than jp Clive. Jp Clive's voice has that smooth, kind, and strong quality. He's very much like a wol who chooses the good guy choice. I didn't expect him to die. To have the red star fade and Torgal crying does seem to confirm that he's gone. Definitely not the happiest ending. Idk if the Blight is still a problem lol

With the logo having both Phoenix and Ifrit the story is definitely about the brothers. It seems to come full circle with the beginning having them fight each other and in the end they're one. Joshua dies in the beginning, Clive dies at the end. Makes me wish there were more brotherly moments between them than the sidequest.

Overall I enjoyed FF16! I don't think I'd rate it higher than FF14 or FF7 but its definitely an improvement from FF15. While FF15 did make me cry a lot more than FF16 did, the eye candy that is Clive is really what sells the game to me lol

There was no Cactuar or tonberries! :(

Also the vibrations on the PS5 is rather neat. I've kept it on just because I've heard people say how good it is. The vibrations are happening most of the time in cutscenes but sometimes I don't notice it at all. Its not at all like previous controllers where it rumbles and be annoying. I usually turn it off but I think I wont do that for the PS5 controller.

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kkoraki · 2 years ago

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Top 10+, Bottom 4+, & Wackiest Books of 2022

Out of the 80+ books I read in 2022, the following distinguished themselves in special ways.

I am only including new reads, not rereads. I put the little kneejerk blurb/reaction I wrote immediately after finishing the book below it. If I had extra thoughts on a book while making this list I put that in a second paragraph or in [square brackets].

If you have read any of these I would love to hear your thoughts. If you haven’t read any of these but have questions or opinions, have at it.

Top 10!

I read so many books I liked this year that it was hard narrowing these down. This ended up being more of a top 15+. The top 10 are listed in chronological order of when I read them.

Animal, Vegetable, Miracle - Barbara Kingsolver

I think I want to buy this one! Entertaining, informative, and she’s a great writer (...I need to read some of her actual books). The story of a family only eating local for 1 year while living on an Appalachian farm. Loved it. (02/22)

Soul Lanterns - Shaw Kuzki

Really beautiful children’s chapter book about the lasting effects of the atom bomb in Hiroshima (but not tragedy p/orn). This is a book I want to read to my kids. It made me tear up. (03/22)

Zora Neale Hurston (Tell My Horse; Every Tongue Got To Confess; Their Eyes Were Watching God)

TEWWG: I LOVE the way this woman writes. Wow. (03/22)

TMH: I loved her novel but I almost feel she shines even more when relating anecdotes & folk practices. Beauty incomparable. (03/22)

ETGTC: Hurston is wonderful at capturing the way different people sound. Not because of funetik aksent - it’s the rhythm and word choice. (04/22)

My Favorite Thing is Monsters - Emil Ferris

INTENSE, pretty fucked up graphic novel - all drawn in ballpoint pen! - about a girl in Chicago in the 6s, her Casanova artist brother, her weird neighbors & classmates, & her Holocaust survivor upstairs neighbor with a FUCKED UP backstory who gets murdered. Also the girl loves monsters (obviously). Ends on a total cliffhanger. (04/22)

Stephen Graham Jones (The Only Good Indians; Mongrels; My Heart Is a Chainsaw)

TOGI: GOOD STUFF. That great Alien-style horror where it starts out with awful scary suspense, people start to die, then it ends all action-movie. I will say the ending was almost too nice and pat but that is such a minor complaint. It’s about 4 Blackfeet men who illegally hunted elk when they were younger, and the repercussions 10 years later. (06/22)

Mongrels: Really baller book about werewolves. Kickass worldbuilding & storytelling. Great stuff. (07/22)

MHIAC: BEST BOOK OF HIS YET. Dude! More people need to be wiling to write feral sad fucked up female protagonists like this one! The ending definitely felt like a slasher homage so it wasn’t as fulfilling as I would’ve wanted, but I think that was a genre constraint. This should get adapted into a movie. (08/22)

CW (character spoiler so rot13): pfn onpxfgbel erirny sbe n znwbe punenpgre

The Tiger & the Wolf - Adrian Tchaikovsky

omg Adrian Tchaikovsky strikes again! This book is a 10/10, what Kiesha’ra would be if it weren’t trash [IYKYK]. I loved both protagonists & the supporting cast development was stellar. It did feel like a parent reveal was being set up for 1 character that didn’t end up playing out but maybe I just read it wrong. Good stuff. (07/22)

Ancillary Justice, Sword, & Mercy - Ann Leckie

Can’t believe I waited so long to read these... they 100% lived up to the hype. Sword + Mercy felt like bonuses/unnecessary but I liked that. This is how to do great SF! (09/22)

The Hate U Give - Angie Thomas

ANOTHER one that WAY lived up to the hype! The characters were so real in this. Loved the family relationships. Amazing book, in my top 10 for sure. [and it was! lol] (09/22)

Jesse Bullington - (The Folly of the World; A Crown For Cold Silver)

TFOTW: Amazing book, this guy has wack ideas and can really write! Loved how dark and clever it was. (10/22)

I was pressed for time and didn’t do a whole summary in my initial note but the publisher’s summary does TFOTW as much justice as a summary can. It contains vErY interesting canon gay and an incredibly scrungly scrappy female protagonist.

ACFCS (as Marshall): I really liked this because it was a classic adult sprawling fantasy, but with none of the sexual violence or ethnic/gender baggage endemic to that genre. It was bloated as hell but the bloat was thoroughly enjoyable. (11/22)

The only thing I was disappointed in/nervous of in ACFCS, early on, was that the androgynous character described gender neutrally was revealed to be 100% woman in a way that pinged a slight alarm for me because I wasn’t sure where it was going, but then she turned out to be an adorable woman-chasing baby butch with absolutely 0 sexual tension with the older male POV character whose chapters she stars in so I was fine with it again. Also this book had one of the most interesting and tragic evil/morally ambiguous female characters I’ve read about in a WHILE and I’m still thinking about her. Oh lol it also has a 16 year old annoying fantasy pope but to shake things up a bit this one is a girl who wears black and she’s not important. The whole thing is just full of fun obviously. If you love way too long fantasy go read it!

When I’m Gone, Look For Me in the East - Quan Barry

Late fave of the year?? An elegantly written book about twin brothers in modern Mongolia seeking the reincarnation of a Tibetan Buddhist spiritual figure. The narration was entirely in present tense. I didn’t feel the ending had much impact or value but the rest of the book was so artfully done I don’t care. [And it made it to my top 10!] (12/22)

For the top 15:

Night Theater - Vikram Paralkar

The Fortune Men - Nadifa Mohamed

The Language of the Night - Ursula K. Le Guin essay collection

Patience & Sarah - Isabel Miller

Conversations with Octavia Butler - Octavia Butler interview collection

Bottom 4 Plus 3

Bottom 4, plus 3 I liked overall but had different issues/strong negative discussion points with. I read so many books this year that I wanted to sit back and think about exactly why I disliked some of them or what I disliked about the ones that didn’t work for me.

Revival Season - West

So bad & offensive. (03/22)

This woman grew up in urban Cali and wrote this entire book at a writing seminar in urban Ohio. Enough said. Except no. This book is enragingly bad and offensive on so many levels to every single character depicted in the book but especially the protagonist, her disabled sister, the mom, and even the antagonist preacher dad. I get that statistically not everyone grew up as a fundie PK or whatever but just based on the narrative treatment of the disabled sister, I’m shocked that the Goodreads reviews are so positive. Totally insulting shitty book. And the writing sucks too. That sounds so juvenile but it pretty much does just... suck.

Out of Darkness - Perez

I hated what this book did and how it did it so much that I didn’t even write it down in my book journal after finishing it in June/July, so these notes are current. A ton of gratuitous plot unnecessary/irrelevant CSA of the protagonist and that isn’t even why I hated it. I will only say that as great and interesting as the summary and setting might sound, do not be deceived. This book is the greatest argument in favor of #OwnVoices I’ve ever read due to how awful it is.

The Unbroken - Clark

Should have been better than what it was... great ideas but the plot (+ consistent characterization) was in shambles. (09/22)

OK. So. We’re talking longass ~diverse~ fantasy. Marshall’s A Crown For Cold Silver, on my Top 10 list, is a way too long brick of fantasy and I was delighted by it, but Clark’s The Unbroken is a way too long brick of fantasy that should have been eviscerated by its editor. You absolutely feel the length in both of these but in one of them you’re happy about it like a nine course feast you can savor and in one of them you feel like you’re dragging yourself through the desert waiting to die. The reason for this is that ACFCS coheres beautifully on a plot level and is filled with interesting characters whose actions cohere with who the character is as a person and lead toward an epic conclusion, as well as characters’ relationships being consistent and developing -- positively or negatively -- in ways that make sense. The Unbroken... has none of that. Plot and character development were in shambles and it suffered from similar (though not quite as shocking) moral event horizon problems as Bright Smoke, Cold Fire (further down this list). Also I fully assumed the author was white because of how sympathetically the white-coded colonist princess girl and her European noble friends were written in comparison to literally everyone else but I guess that’s just how the book was. Anyway, read this book if you want to gain an intimate understanding of Dorothy Jones Heydt’s eight deadly words.

Pet - Emezi

This was unfortunately a mess. Great ideas but a mess. Did not like the writing, plot was boring and the fridge horror of the utopia was hinted at but never explored or engaged with. (10/22)

I may have been too hard on it in my kneejerk reaction but it is not good. It suffered from similar issues to Cloud Cuckoo Land (below) except not only is this author a career modern litfic writer she was also trying to write a kids book for the first time apparently. This explained a lot of the... weirdness about how it was written. On a character and theme level it was a very surface level, slightly confused book, which would be OK if the plot was comprehensible or the world was interesting and well thought out but neither of those things was true.

3 more that I couldn’t call bad but had critical things to say about that I wanted to make sure everyone saw 🤪

Bright Smoke, Cold Fire

Romeo & Juliet retelling that would have been GREAT if the ending hadn’t included 1 protagonist sprinting across the moral event horizon at light speed and the implied gay character having his male love interest turn out to be a crossdressing girl. Literally devastated bc the beginning was SO GOOD (this is the one where Juliet & Paris are baby homeschoolers) (and Juliet swordfights) (04/22)

The other huge criticism I have for this book other than the two things above which were already bizarre and book-ruining is that it wasn’t a self contained story. It feels like it could and should have been, to the point where the last third and even last half of the book felt off in the pacing as the plot was, oddly, stretched artificially out for the purpose of coming to less of a conclusion than it would have if the story were allowed to be fully resolved by the end of the book.

Cloud Cuckoo Land

Oh boy... one of my first encounters with a contemporary Lit Fic (TM) writer in a long time. The parts of the book set in historical Turkey + Constantinope I enjoyed. The rest I liked the idea of but it just felt SO... pure extruded litfic product. [There was a topically relevant school shooter and a topically relevant evil tech company and a topically relevant elderly gay man whose whole life was sad because of homophobia and then he died sacrificing himself. All written in that tasty pure extruded litfic voice. The Turkish boy and Byzantine girl were good but they should’ve been their own book.] (08/22)

Wake of Vultures

Loved the concept and the protagonist, loved the setting, loved the magic/myth system, loved the story. Did not love how the entire thing was written like YA except for the multiple extremely graphic and plot unnecessary sexual assaults on the transmasc protagonist in the last third of the book (while misgendering them because of course). It didn’t make me DNF the book because I was invested and wanted to see how it ended but I won’t be reading more of this series. [...In keeping with the theme introduced by my #2 Worst, this book was not #OwnVoices either. In retrospect, I knew that going in and should have been wary about how many people said it was an OMG Awesome Trans Protagonist Book.] (12/22)

Wackiest because I needed this section

This mostly exists because I’m still not over the funniest, weirdest summary vs. plot bait and switch I’ve ever experienced in a (decently written) book in a long time, but it also exists so I can praise one of my top 10 again.

The Night Tiger - Yangsze Choo

Crouching (were)tiger, hidden sibling incest romance. Yes. That is what it is. You will read the summary and the reviews and come away expecting a dark, adult, slightly creepy Malaysian historical fantasy about weretigers. Do not be misled, as I was. There are no weretigers. There is no fantasy. This book is a 1930s Malaysia period piece framing a lovingly written heterosexual incest romance. For any of you who enjoy this kind of thing... have at it! The book is good and the setting was gorgeous. I was just baffled. I’m still cracking up about the whole experience of reading this book and finally realizing more than 2/3 of the way through that 1) it was romance genre; 2) between the siblings; and 3) there weren’t going to be any weretigers. Tragic!

Anyway, I want to read more books set in 1930s Malaysia/British Malaya so if you have ‘em send recs.

My Favorite Thing Is Monsters - Emil Ferris

OK just read this. CW for everything fucked up though.

#self #books #books of 2022 #long post

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by-ilmater · 5 hours ago

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okay i'm a good ways into my second playthrough of datv and i realized i never posted any of my thoughts after i finished the first time. warning for end game spoilers, like big time, i mean it

many of my initial criticisms still stand, for me. like dai before it, i think datv suffers from some pacing issues. it starts off very slow, and i don't think it really starts to open up until after the dragons. i've always thought dai had the same issue, that the game only really gets going after you get to skyhold.

idk how to really phrase this, but the emotional pacing? feels off for me? does that make sense? like, there's several moments in the game where something absolutely devastating happens, and they did a really good job of capturing that. i think the aftermath of the dragons are a good example of this. in my second playthrough i'm playing a crow rook, so i chose to save treviso (did it the other way the first time) and the moment you fast travel back to dock town after that and half the building is just fucking GONE. that was a gut punch holy shit.

but then, so much of the rest of the game feels.....idk. cold? flat? it just doesn't seem to have a happy medium, there's either huge shit happening or....eh.

i will say, i think i'm enjoying the game more on a second run and that's not super common for me. it has let me pay way closer attention to how they actually handled varric after knowing he's dead the entire time, and there's some surprisingly clever moments.

speaking of the dragons, something i do like that datv did that felt more in line with origins is the game forcing you to make fucked up choices and live with the consequences. there's several moments in origins where you can just straight up lose a party member if you say something wrong or do something wrong, and I think that got kinda lost in da2 and dai. especially in dai, you have to go out of your way to really fuck shit up. i like that the dragons are bad no matter how you choose. i like that, if you choose wrong during the final battle, people will just straight up die (that's also very mass effect 2 and i love it). someone will also die no matter how you choose! there's no way to save harding or davrin after that choice, afaik. i like that.

i wish that we had more freedom over our rook as far as backstory and age and things like that. i really hate that the game basically railroads me into playing rook as young, especially during the emmrich romance. that irritates the fuck outta me. why give us the option to give rook wrinkles and grey hair and whatnot, and then insist that they're some naive twentysomething? haaaaaaaaaate that. i think, for a voiced pc that wasn't just a named person like hawke or shepard, dai struck a good balance. i liked that characters would ask your inquisitor questions, and then you got to decide how they felt. rook doesn't get that.

i miss being able to just talk to the companions whenever. like, i do like that they kinda move around the lighthouse and interact with each other, but i think we also could've been given the ability to talk to them while they did that, instead of having to wait til they have their little speech bubble prompt. idk what inspired the decision to make it like this, idk if people complained that there's too much talking in previous da games. but i loved all the talking and i want it back.

this is a petty personal issue, but i am so so sad we finally got to see weisshaupt in a game and it immediately gets fucking destroyed. literally so heartbroken. i've wanted to see weisshaupt since alistair talked about it in origins.

this feels like a mean criticism but.....some of the voice acting does not hit for me. i chose the american male voice for ezra, cuz he's a city elf from ferelden. and man, it bugged me the whole fucking game lol. but with kai i chose the british male voice and the difference is huge.

goddamn this got long lmao sorry. i'm sure i'll think of more later.

#datv critical

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mortal-sarah · 3 months ago

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Wait ya’ll I wanna come up with pitches for dramas for all of these *potential* couples just cause. (I don’t have immediate ideas for all of them so feel free to jump in and add yours!)

(For listing the ship names I’m going with whoever said the ship, their name goes first, if they both agreed then whoever said it first in the line-up’s name goes first)

PoohPon:

I actually love that they both said each other so much! I get the vibe that they’re very close friends and I’ve been shipping them in a polycule with Pavel since like day one. That being said I’m unsure what I would want a drama with them to be…I low-key am desperate for Pooh to play a chill character that isn’t haunted by ghosts or a sunshine boy with a sad past obsessed with doing everything to protect his love. Just let Pooh play a normal sweet guy just like he is in real life lol. On the other hand, let Pon be chaotic! I think there’s a lot of possibilities with these two but no ideas off the top of my head.

PavelPing:

Honestly I would just want them to make the bad-ending post-canon PeteBabe au that’s been living in my head where Tony doesn’t die and succeeds in capturing Babe and Pete after Way is shot/dies. And then some not great stuff happens which causes Babe to be pregnant with Pete’s child and then they have to escape together with their kid and they form a super codependent relationship from their trauma🙃 No, but seriously this could be an interesting dynamic. I think I’d want to see something with a darker theme and a dynamic where Ping protects Pavel (cause I think Pavel should always play babygirl-ified men being put in situationsTM).

SailubLee:

First idea that popped into my head was Lee as a handsome young rich CEO and Sailub as an older man (surprise, surprise) who just finished grad school or did his masters or something like that (not sure how all that works in Thailand) and is entering a new career field late in the game. Office romance, chaos ensues.

NutEveryone:

This came to me so fast and out of nowhere and I’m genuinely so proud of it and I think Change should make it cause it would be goooood! Okay so murder mystery! Nut is murdered in the first episode (Nut if you’re reading this don’t click away! Let me cook!). One of the cast is a detective, everyone else is suspects. The show alternates between present day and flashbacks. We slowly find out that not only does everyone (including the detective) have a motive to murder Nut, but everyone was in some way romantically/sexually involved with him! I’m thinking that maybe Nut’s death was a fake out and he staged it himself. He shows up in the last ep like “surprise bitches! bet you thought you’d seen the last of me” to reveal all.

MichaelPop:

Incidentally, I already have something in mind for this one! Rivals to friends to lovers. It starts with them crushing on the same person (preferably Topten lol). And they have sort of a “may the best man win” rivals dynamic but then they fall in love with each other along the way.

ToptenNut:

Topten is the aforementioned detective lol?!? No but seriously I have no idea for these two cause I see them as having more of a mother-daughter dynamic. Maybe we give them a Freaky Friday-esq mother-daughter comedy series?

GarfieldSailub:

Honestly no clue for these two.

BenzLee:

Not sure for these two either. Though I would love to see Benz in a role that really shows off the energetic personality he has in real life!

LeeS:

Give us sugar daddy S Vorarit Change you cowards!!

Who would you want to be in a new ship with?

Pooh: P'pon, P'pon Pavel: Ping. Pavelping! Sailub: Lee Asre! Pon: Pooh! Ping: PingPavel Nut: Everybody. Everyone. Thank you darling Michael: MichaelPop Topten: Nut Supanut, hahahaha! Garfield: Lung Sailub Benz: Lee Asre! Pop: PopMichael Lee: S Vorarit

#pit babe cast #pit babe #pit babe the series #change2561 cast #pooh krittin #pavel phoom #sailub hemmawich #pon thanapon #ping orbnithi #nut supanut #michael kiettisak #topten supakorn #garfield pantach #benz atthanin #pop pataraphol #lee asre #s vorarit #multishipping #pit babe polycule

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itlivesproject · 2 years ago

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Hi! I only recently downloaded ILW and love it so far. I have a bunch of questions, and hopefully I'm not spamming you guys too much.

First, massive props for making Joss so likeable that I'm actually romancing her in several playthroughs (not all because Amalia is too amazing, and I'm a sucker for a good BFFs to Lovers story. And yes, I'm creating several playthroughs with multiple setups; my main one is the one based on what actually happened when I played ILITW and ILB. Then there's the 'ideal' playthrough where Parker stayed, and neither MC was romancing anyone (I originally romanced Ava) so I can guilt-free set up a romance between ILITW MC and Noah, now another one where it's ILITW MC and Dan, some where MC sacrificed herself, one where Noah actually killed her, some where both the gangs except MCs survived or where everyone other than MC died, and the absolute worst possible setup where everyone who can die, or in Parker's case leave, died. Most are barely started, but you've got me seriously invested in the story, ILW is that good), and making me genuinely enjoy Connor as a character when he bored me in ILITW. Amazing work right there.

Speaking of Joss, I (and I know others in the fandom do so as well) have been wondering, is she on the autism spectrum? That line about her taking some things too literally or something a few chapters ago, I don't remember the exact wording, but it struck me.

So ILB MC vanished, huh. I was hoping we might interact more with that side of the anthology soon, since ILITW has been dominating the story with only one throw-away mention of Tom until then in my main playthrough. Might be Andy romancers had more, but it was Ava for me so idk. I'm definitely excited for whatever you have in store for us in that regard. Does it have anything to do with Annie's sudden reappearance in ILW MC's life 👀?

How many chapters are projected for ILW, by the way? We're at number 9 now, so around halfway, less or more than that?

Also, I keep hearing something about a hiatus, and when exactly does it start, next week? (That would be just my timing, lol. I finally download ILW, and it goes on break immediately after.) Do you have any idea how long it might last, if I may ask?

Basically ILW has really captivated me, you guys are doing amazing, I'm looking forward to all the coming plot twists and branches (which I'm exploring with my different playthroughs as much as I can) and can't wait for whenever the next chapter drops. I probably forgot a bunch of questions I was going to ask, but this ask is already a mile long so I hope I didn't bother all of you too much. Thanks for this project, it really captures the spirit of the IL series in a way I didn't think was possible to replicate. I can tell it was made by real fans, and that's awesome, and for answering these rambling questions!

I love all the different setups you have! 😍😍

So we haven’t explicitly stated if she is on the spectrum but it is an absolutely valid interpretation that I support!

ILW is slated to be a whopping 23 chapters. You can find our progress tracker in our pinned post!

The hiatus will be after chapter 11 airs on July 2, so you have two more chapters before the break 🥲 the length will be a few months at the least but there is no finalized time frame. Basically we just need to finish writing/editing/programming the rest of the chapters so however long that takes 🤷‍♀️

Thanks for sending this in and for all your kind words and support! We value it so so much 🥰 can’t wait to share more of the game with you!

#ask #decadelongsummer #mod win

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everafterkeiji · 4 years ago

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ah! ok, um, is it ok if i request a hc with any of the hq and bnha boys ur comfortable writing for (u can do however many u feel like :)) with an s/o who’s scared of the dark? maybe add a little something about one of them getting glow in the dark stars for y/n’s room and saying that the stars are there in the dark to protect them? idk if that’s cheesy or not lol but yeah, i’m afraid i’m a bit of a scaredy-cat myself so i rush into my room as fast as i can when turning off the lights hehe. anyways, take ur time and take care of yourself ily <33

A/N: and I'm back- im v sorry for taking so long but I'll be posting the haikyuu one in another part but thank you so much for requesting kate love u v much mwah ʕ´• ᴥ•̥`ʔ

BNHA Boys Reacting to Y/N being afraid of the dark!

𝐈𝐙𝐔𝐊𝐔 𝐌𝐈𝐃𝐎𝐑𝐈𝐘𝐀 will not hesitate to visit your room often as he could and provides light in the best of ways.

When he first found out, he deeply understood and offered to walk you on your way home when it was getting a little too late from training then he soon found himself nervously knocking your door in the middle of the night to see how you're doing.

"Hey- it's very late but are you o-okay?" He asks, a hand to the back of his neck with worried eyes as you stare at him with a smile- a little embarrassed that you were face to face with him in your sleep wear.

"Honestly, I couldn't sleep properly." You answered while he frowns, upset that you were probably up all night. With an idea lighting up in his mind, he speaks.

"I'll be back okay? Leave the door open for me. I'm just going to get something." He says with a smile while you nodded while he dashes off looking excited. You proceeded to your bed waiting for him, enjoying the light that the open door gave you. A few minutes pass and a panting Deku with multiple objects in hand. You chuckled at the sight while you let him in as he closes the door before letting a flashlight lit the room.

"What's all this?" You asked, pointing to the materials laid out on your bed while a blush creeps up on the boys cheek.

"I thought that I could make more of those light up stars to help you sleep better." Izuku says while your heart flutters at his comment.

"Let's do it then."

𝐊𝐀𝐓𝐒𝐔𝐊𝐈 𝐁𝐀𝐊𝐔𝐆𝐎 will be your night light and he'll also be the type to wait until you were asleep so he can make sure you're safe with him.

"What is it- oi stop moving around." Bakugo says while you shuffle in your sheets as your boyfriend questions your nervousness. Was it because it was your first night together? Fair enough, he hasn't known about that fear of yours but he's beginning to put the pieces all at once when he feels your grip on him tighten.

"Sheesh, it's just darkness." He says scoffing before you roll your eyes, pushing him off jokingly while you let your eyes close trying to ease the anxiety.

Seeing that you turned away from him, he sighs before pulling you to him, nudging you with his elbow.

"Look at this." He says while he sits up and you following his actions. The palm of his emits light, surprising you with the sound of a tiny explosion. He continues to hold it out in front of you, seeing the darkness of your room fade being replaced in orange tinted shadows.

"Bakugo- you don't have to do this. I'll be fine." You assured him so he doesn't overuse his quirk before classes. Although it was a small spark, you knew better than to keep him from resting.

"Stop lying. Just.. sleep. I'll be here anyways." The last bit of his sentence trailed off as if he was nervous to show his concern but sighing in defeat, you laid down slinging an arm over his waist, cuddling up on his side enjoying his warmth. You smile at him before speaking.

"Thank you, Katsuki." You bid him before closing your eyes while he sighs as well, wrapping his free arm around your shoulder watching you fall quietly.

He stares at the dirty light up stars on your room while he takes a mental note to remove them since he was always up to help you.

Once he feels how deep in slumber you were, the explosions from his hands die down while he lies with you slowly, careful to not wake you.

He looks at your sleeping state before sighing remembering that you feared this dark room. He then plants a swift kiss on your hair, looking at you once again.

"I'll be right here every day."

𝐄𝐈𝐉𝐈𝐑𝐎 𝐊𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐌𝐀 would simply let you fall asleep to his nightly stories to make sure your mind doesn't fall on the hands of fear.

"Then Bakugo taught me how to dodge the attack without using my quirk then use my agility instead!" Kirishima rants following some hand movements as you chuckle with you on his chest as he carries on. He feels how your grip has loosened compared to how it was when he first got in bed with you.

With his endless stories, he too notices how your eyes grew heavy.

"Too tired from today?" He asks softly, his hands lost in your hair making it harder to stay awake.

"Not really. I just stayed up too long cause I- got scared." He looks at you with concern, while he intertwines your hands with his.

"Scared of what babe?"

"Is it silly if I say the dark?" He blinks for a second but then he shakes his head before pulling you closer to him before landing a loving kiss to your temple.

"It's never silly, bub. Your savior is here!" He says proudly, a cheeky grin making you laugh as you hold onto him more, closing your eyes as he smiles at the sight of you. From this day onwards, it seems like he's got a new mission but this mission was way easier and more important than the rest because he'd save you thousands of times before seeing you scared to wits.

"You sure are a hero, Eiji."

𝐒𝐇𝐎𝐓𝐎 𝐓𝐎𝐃𝐑𝐎𝐊𝐈 would mindlessly offer his embrace.

After seeing how quick you were to run to your room on heavy hours of training when the sun got down, he wondered too much about you. It was either you had your own plans or maybe a certain villain was out to capture you. Both options still got him curious.

So the next day of training and learning about which weaknesses of yours could be encountered in a fight, he hears an answer from you that might have gained his interest on you more.

"I prefer to avoid fights when it's dark." You said to Momo, Shoto looks at you with raised eyebrows but he understood either way. If he had his own fears that got in his way, he's sure that yours can get in your way too. Knowing you two share the same liking to each other, he decided to step up and find a solution to lessen your fear.

So when he was right at your door, knocking lightly, he thinks if his phone provided him with the correct answers.

"Todoroki? Hi, what are you doing here?" You asked him, pulling him softly inside your room while he looks around seeing stars decorating the place. He mentally checks off one of the options seeing that you already bought some of them to ease the fear a bit.

"I overheard you with Yaoyorozu and I'm here to help with this. "

"With—"

You were cut off by the tall boy engulfing you in a sweet embrace with his chin on the crown of your head as his hands were placed on your waist as he disregards his racing heartbeat seeing that he put zero hesitation in doing the top option in his research.

"It's okay to be scared of the dark." he assures you, but your focus wasn't on his words— it was on the fact that held you this close and that he knew about your fear. You were thankful that he didn't think it was childish or pathetic but you were too busy thinking about how his first way of showing his concern was like this.

With that, you hugged him back and with his closed eyes, you two had smiles tugged on your lips.

"Thank you, Shoto."

𝐃𝐄𝐍𝐊𝐈 𝐊𝐀𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐀𝐑𝐈 lets your laugh echo through the room making you forget about all your worries.

Denki has always been charismatic when it comes to you. No matter how many jokes he threw, funny or not, you'd always smile or give him a reaction that he loves to receive but all jokes were sent aside when you mentioned your fear of darkness.

You brought up the topic when Sero had sparked up the conversation of what you hated the most and when you said yours, Kaminari was all ears and his mind began running on how to make things a little better for you. It must've been hard, he thinks. Darkness was everywhere so he had to help.

After some exhaustion from training and frustration from battling with Bakugo, he can tell how you were on edge as you went straight to your room after dinner. He knew sleeping peacefully wasn't going to be easy to accomplish today so he let his feet guide him to your room right when he finished his meal.

"Denki here!" He says while knocking. You open the door and he sees how you've wrapped yourself in a blanket, but your eyes bared no sign that you slept.

"Hey Kami, what're you doing here?" You asked him while he enters your room, pouting at how your lamp had flickering lights meaning it's energy was about to fail you. So, he walks right over to the lamp and places his hand on top of it and uses his quirk to make sure the light doesn't flicker anymore. Seeing that it was working properly again, he realizes he didn't want to leave yet.

"Oh thanks, Denki." You said smiling at him while he sits on your bed with an idea coming to his mind.

"I've got a story to tell!"

And a few minutes later, you've got yourself beside him with his arm draped on your shoulder while your laugh became too loud mixed with his making your sleepiness fade.

"Okay okay but you've got to sleep, Y/N. Don't overwork yourself tomorrow or else." He says with a chuckle while you laid down as he gets off your bed.

"Or else what Denki?"

"You'll find out tomorrow." he says, while you bid him goodnight. He comes closer to you just when you close your eyes as he gives a peck to your cheek while blushing furiously when your eyes opened at his actions. He immediately walks away muttering a quick good night as you chuckled when he sprints to the door making you turn off your lamp with a smile.

"Goodnight, Y/N."

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spurious-result · 3 years ago

Note

For the Fanfic Writer Ask Meme: B, E, N, R :D

Thanks very much for the ask!

B: What was the first fandom you read fic in? Which was the first you wrote fic for?

Oh man, I'm going to date myself here. xD My very first fic-reading fandom was The X-Files, way back in the day. The first fandom I ever wrote anything for was Sherlock Holmes (I'm sorry, I'm an incredible nerd!), but of course it's just MGS nowadays.

E: What character do you identify with most? Is there a certain fic of yours that captures these qualities particularly well?

Ah, in the MGS world I'd have to go with Otacon - I imagine he's a popular choice, lol. I suspect most of us have a little "stammering, insecure scientist who happens to be in love with the big beefy jock" somewhere deep down inside.

In all seriousness, though, I've always found Otacon to be one of the more heroic characters in the series, in his own quiet way. He overcomes a lot of personal baggage, and his own fear/insecurity issues, and always manages to Get Shit Done when push comes to shove. He doesn't do the flashy, 'blowing-things-up' part of the job, but he's consistently shown to be very competent at what he does. And when he has to do something that's very much NOT in his wheelhouse (like dragging his half-dead partner out of a river during a manhunt, or flying a helicopter full of hostages to safety right after watching his sister die), he steps up to the plate and does what needs doing.

In terms of fic, I'd say probably Taught By Thirst?? I am a huge sucker for Otacon being a terrified-but-competent badass in the immediate post-tanker aftermath, and that's a huge part of what that particular fic is about. He's the biggest unsung hero of the series, truly. ❤

N: Any fic ideas brewing that you’d care to share?

So many, lol! My problem is that I'm an *incredibly* slow, plodding writer, so it takes a long time to actually get anything to fruition.

Currently, I'm working on finishing up the last chapter of Or Else The Light... which is coming along nicely but DEAR GOD, it's going to be long. 😫 Hoping to have it done and posted sometime in the next couple of weeks or so.

Once that's finished, I do have several other ideas on the docket. In no particular order, they include:

Another longish, multi-chapter fic in the same series as Taught By Thirst, Everything That Rises, and Or Else The Light - set in the time period between MGS2 and 4, and dealing with their acquisition of Sunny and the start of Snake's accelerated aging issues.

A smutty 'sneaking suit sex' one-shot, because God knows I like PWPs as much as the next person and I have *thoughts* about how this might go down.

A "five times this happened" kind of thing with several loosely-related vignettes taking place at different times in the series, centered around scenarios where Snake runs into trouble in the field and Otacon has to deal with the aftermath - featuring different moods (awkward, funny/cute, angsty, etc.) depending on the details. Would likely include some bits from very early Philanthropy era, MGS4 era, and everything in between... kind of, tracing the evolution of their partnership (and, ahem... *partnership*, if you catch my drift) over time, through that lens.

R: Which writers (fanfic or otherwise) do you consider the biggest influence on you and your writing?

OH MAN, that's a tough one. I honestly think I take a little something away from almost everything I read, whether it's related to phrasing, word choice, character development, plotting, etc.

Because the truth is - writing any kind of fiction is fucking HARD, y'all. Much harder than I would have guessed, before I'd ever tried it myself. (How the fuck do people do this for a living??? Hats off, for real.) So nowadays, I like to pay attention to the mechanics of how the author is doing things when I read.

In terms of fanfic, when I was pretty heavily involved in the SH fandom, there was an absolutely amazing writer I still remember - she was very prolific, and her stuff was absolutely S-tier in every way. Beautiful prose, beautiful dialogue, story structure/theme that just got better the more you analyzed it, etc. Reading her stuff felt like reading a really excellent, beautifully-written published novel, and that was the first time it really struck me that fanfic could be... *that*, you know?

Don't get me wrong - I also like quick little character studies, and fun trashy smut, and everything in between! I also love that writing fanfic is something that literally anyone can try their hand at, and no one is necessarily expecting that you're going to sound like James Joyce. There is very little pressure to be "good", however one might try to define that - kind of like singing karaoke, in a bar. 😂 We're all just here to have fun, first and foremost.

BUT - I still remember the impression that made on me. And I still think about her now, when I write.

In the real world of published writing, there are SO MANY wonderful authors whose stuff I've loved. But in terms of... writing style, I guess? Word choice and phrasing, and the way a story is constructed - probably the two biggest standouts for me are Margaret Atwood and Tana French. I admire both of them tremendously.

#ask meme #answered asks #nerdy writing stuff #fic update

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polishksiezniczka · 4 years ago

Text

By God's Grace | Camerlengo Patrick McKenna x Reader

You believe Patrick, your lover, to be dead after the explosion but are eventually reunited.

Notes: AU—Patrick is the good guy! Angst, romance. Also, I can’t help but get serious Obi-Wan vibes again from this oneshot ?? I am definitely picturing a similar reunion between you and your dashing Jedi lover when he returns to you after a dangerous, far-off mission (minus the Italian, LOL). 1.4K words.

Thank you to the lovely @quiescentcrepuscular for being a phenomenal beta reader!

By the time you learned of the situation, it was too late: the helicopter had taken off, Patrick its doomed pilot. As you watched him ascend higher and higher into the night sky, you nearly became catatonic. You couldn’t bear to witness the man you loved so deeply die alone and afraid while you stood there, completely helpless.

So you ran back to the Swiss Guard’s headquarters, tears blinding your vision. You couldn’t calm down and slowly felt yourself pulled down into a spiral of panic. As you ran, images of Patrick replayed over and over again in your head. Your first meeting. When he reciprocated his feelings for you. Your first kiss. The first—and last—time he told you he loved you. The last time you had been together...

You had rushed to his side with Lt. Chartrand after discovering him lying on the floor of His Holiness’ study, his chest badly burned by the brand.

“Whatever happens, know I’ll always love you,” he had whispered hoarsely, so that only you could hear, his fingers ghosting over your hands as you cleaned and dressed his wounds.

“I know, Patrick. I know,” you replied, your eyes still fixed on his chest as you hushed him gently. “And I will always be here for you.” Your voice dropped to a murmur. “I love you...”

The memory of your distracted nature stained your last moments together—how you wished you could relive those moments again! Shaking your head, you squeezed your eyes shut, trying in vain to shut out the anguish which you now felt, but grief coursed through your body so violently you began to feel physically ill. Your lungs burned from overexertion, exhausted by both your sprinting and crying.

Why hadn’t you done more to comfort him? Why hadn’t you gazed into his beautiful, caring eyes one last time?

You did little to stop the loud sob which escaped your throat, surely drawing the attention of the Swiss Guards at the door to the command center, but you didn’t care about them, nor anyone else for that matter. Your entire world had died with Patrick.

Why had you not told him how much he meant to you? How much you cared for him? Loved him more than life itself?

You collapsed onto a sofa then, weeping bitterly. “Please, Patrick, please forgive me. Please…”

----------

You couldn’t tell how much time had passed when the door beside you burst open.

“...it is truly a miracle, what happened to the camerlengo!” At first you barely registered Olivetti and Commander Richter’s presence until you heard his name. You froze.

“What about the camerlengo?” you cried out, abruptly wrenched from your grief.

“Didn’t you hear? He survived the explosion!” Your heart stopped, barely processing the words coming from Olivetti’s mouth. “Before the bomb detonated, he was able to parachute out of the helicopter. He saved us all! Sia Lode a Dio!” he marveled.

“Where is he?” you demanded frantically. “Where is he?!”

Before Olivetti could even finish his sentence, you were already flying out the door, on your way to the hospital.

----------

You nearly let out a cry of relief upon seeing Patrick. Doctors and nurses fluttered about him, attending to his wounds. He looked so small and fragile in the moment, far from the confident man of God you knew. But that didn’t matter. He was alive. Your beloved. Your Patrick. Alive.

“M-Monsignor!” you exclaimed breathlessly.

His eyes immediately locked with yours, and you saw his heart break. Your eyes were likely still red from crying, tears glistened against your cheeks, and your windswept hair indicated your haste. He stared at you incredulously, afraid that you were merely a hallucination brought on by one of his injuries.

“Miss Y/L/N…?” Even in this state, he remembered his propriety, bringing tears to your eyes.

You needed to pull yourself together, lest you make a scene. You cleared your throat. “Monsignor, I have urgent news from the US Embassy. About the incident.” You gazed at him in earnest, silently begging to speak with him.

He tore his gaze away from you; his eyes darted about, as if deep in thought. Then, he spoke:

“Starò bene. Se ci scusi, sorella.”

You offered your arm to him, which he eagerly slipped into yours, carefully making your way to the hallway with him. Once out of view, he whisked you into an unoccupied room and shut the door.

Your reaction was immediate: you bolted into his arms and held him tightly, burying your face into his neck with a sob. You were careful to brace your weight against him, remembering the angry red marks of the brand which marred his beautiful chest. He held you just as passionately, stroking your hair and tenderly rubbing your back.

Although his scent brought you instant, indescribable comfort, your bawling only intensified. You felt his skin grow warm from your tears and ragged breathing despite his attempts to hush your incoherent babbling with his soothing voice. “Oh darling, shhhh. Please, don’t cry. Shhh…” He leaned back to study your flushed, tear-stained face, his hand coming up to cradle it. “I’m here, I’m here.” He lightly brushed his thumbs over your cheeks to wipe away your tears.

You stared up into his beautiful eyes, bringing your hands to his face in turn, memorizing its angels and curves with your soft fingertips. You felt him lean into your gentle ministrations, his eyes squeezing shut in sheer comfort.

“I thought that I would n-never s-see you again. I th-thought I had lost you f-forever.” You choked back a sob. The shakiness in your voice made it difficult for you to speak coherently as the tears relentlessly streamed down your face.

He clasped his hands over yours. As he slowly revealed his cerulean orbs to you, you noticed the luster of tears. “Never, angelo mio,” he whispered ardently, turning his head to softly kiss your palm. “Never. By God’s grace, I returned to you.”

He kissed you softly then, assuaging your fears; you tasted the saltiness of your tears lingering on his lips. As if to reassure you of his presence, he rested his forehead against yours. You remained like this for several minutes, the peaceful silence interrupted occasionally by your quiet sobs or the soft words of affirmation Patrick whispered against your lips.

You finally leaned back, your eyes immediately filling with tears as they scanned his face. “Y-you’re hurt,” you lamented softly, brushing back the few pieces of hair which had fallen into his face. Angry red gashes and bruises riddled his face and torso, and you longed to kiss each and every one, to hold him until he was no longer in pain. “I’m so sorry...” you whimpered.

As your eyes continued their frantic scan, Patrick brought you back to reality by whispering your name, pleadingly, his eyebrows furrowed in concern. “Cuore mio…look at me.” Your eyes found his effortlessly as he caressed the nape of your neck, the sensation sending shivers down your spine. “I’m all right. All that matters is you are here, safe, with me.” He smiled then, his eyes crinkling endearingly. “And I would never leave you without saying goodbye.”

You sniffled and let out a soft, choked laugh as you watched his face brighten. “Patrick, my love,” you whispered reverently, “I’d be lost without you.” You paused, cradling his face once again. “I love you more than life itself. Please…I don’t ever want to be without you again.”

His gaze softened as his eyes welled with tears. “Ti amo,” he replied, laying a soft kiss on your cheek. “Ti amo,” he repeated, planting another on your opposite cheek. He looked at you lovingly as he leaned forward. “Ti amo…” he murmured, capturing your lips in his. ¤

Translations

Sia Lode a Dio! = "Praise God!"

Starò bene. Se ci scusi, sorella. = "I'll be okay. If you'll excuse us, sister."

Cuore mio = "my heart"

Ti amo = "I love you"

Taglist: @seraferna @lemairepstuff

#ewan mcgregor #camerlengo patrick mckenna #patrick mckenna x reader #obi wan kenobi #forgive me father for i have sinned #fluffy angst #angels and demons #carlo ventresca #il camerlengo

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blitheringmcgonagall · 3 years ago

Text

My Gallant Lad - Part IV

So I got a wonderful anon telling me that this is their favourite Lily Rescues James fic, it’s part of my finished canon marauders fic We Can Be Heroes. But, because it works as a stand alone story, I posted it here in four parts. I hope you enjoy it! Set during the first wizarding war, Lily is very BAMF (but tbh so is James)

TW: angsty and violence

Part I here: After their worst row ever, Lily and James get captured by Voldemort...

Part II here: James tries to save Lily

Part III here: Lily tries to save James

PART IV

(PS this is not pro- Snape at all, quite the opposite, for this to make sense you’ll have to read the other parts, lol!)

Mulciber swallowed.

“Now help me lift Potter, and for fuck’s sake be careful, he’s perilously close to death as it is!” Snape said.

He was so angry his body was shaking in agitation.

Mulciber lifted James’ body as though it were made of glass.

***

“I’ll take it from here,” Snape ordered.

They were standing underneath the main door of the castle, which led into the courtyard.

“I thought we were bringing Potter and his vile mudblood to the Dark Lord?” Mulciber said, frowning suspiciously.

“Change of plan, Mulciber,” Snape said matter-of-factly. “I want to try and get Evans to talk, that way if Potter snuffs it, we won’t risk being beheaded by him.”

“What do you mean?” Mulciber looked at him in bewilderment. “If you attack Evans and manage to injure her also, we’re doubly fucked!”

“I won’t fuck it up, unlike you dithering idiots I actually know what I’m doing!” Snape says angrily.

Mulciber stared hard at him.

“Are you sure you’re Snape?” he said, narrowing his eyes and reaching for his wand. “You’re acting strangely and I-“

“He’s Snape all right, but under the Imperius Curse,” Lily interjected. “Expelliarmus!”

Mulciber’s wand flew into Lily’s outstretched hand.

“You?” Mulciber seethed. “How in Morgana’s hell did you manage to Imperio him? Last I heard you were wailing painfully awful songs from your cell, giving us all a headache! I thought you’d given up!”

“The great Gaels of Ireland are the men that God made mad, for all their wars are merry, and all their songs are sad,” Lily shrugged. “You just hadn’t experienced the merry part yet!”

“You’re not a man,” Mulciber sneered.

“Ha!” Lily’s face broke into a harsh smile. “What Chesterton didn’t say about Irish women is that when they’re angry, all their wars are won!”

Mulciber stared at her sullenly.

“Not my fault that you consistently underestimate me, Mulciber!” Lily shot back. “You think you’d have learnt by now!”

Mulciber’s face looked like curdled milk.

“Too late,” Lily said. “Obliviate!”

Mulciber’s expression changed slowly to one of utter confusion as he looked between Lily, James and Snape. He hadn’t even seen the spell hit him.

“What happened to him?” he said, scratching behind his ear and staring at James’ body. “Where’s your Head Girl badge? Your uniform?”

“Quidditch injury,” Lily said flatly. “Vicious Slytherin tactics. One hundred points from your House, now back to your common room before I have you expelled!”

“Whaat?” Mulciber said, looking utterly bewildered.

“I’m counting till ten. Ten… nine… eight…” Lily said.

Mulciber stumbled and turned immediately, muttering incoherent protests.

“Not bad, Lily Evans,” Snape whispered with a vicious grin. “Not bad at all.”

***

“Outside! Now!” Snape ordered.

Lily Evans remained silent as she walked outside at a steady pace, Snape following her and dragging James Potter’s body along the ancient flagstones.

“Now, it seems that nothing will persuade Dumbledore’s man to reveal what has happened to the Dark Lord’s precious treasure, a book Dumbledore’s men stole! Potter nearly died refusing to tell us. I’m ordering you to tell me, or I’ll make you kill your own husband!” he called out.

“No, I won’t tell you anything,” Lily said with effort.

“Wow! That’s dope!” Villiers whispered loudly to Wilkes.

The two men were sitting on the battlements having a smoke and peering down with interest at the scene unfolding below them.

“Look what Snape is up to! I never thought he was into that shit!” Wilkes replied. “He usually lets us handle that kind of stuff, says it’s boring!”

They looked at each other and grinned.

“Massive!” Villiers giggled, bumping fists with Wilkes.

Snape picked up his wand.

“Last chance, Miss. Evans,” he said, dragging James closer to the middle of the courtyard.

He was holding two other wands in his hand.

“What is going on here?”

Snape whirled around.

Voldemort was standing at the castle gate, and with him Evan Rosier. Voldemort’s wand was pointed at him.

“I am quite simply trying to establish the whereabouts of your missing book, my Lord,” Snape said. “I thought this might work.”

“Rosier here tells me you have been acting exceedingly strange,” Voldemort’s voice was icy. “He thinks you may be under the Imperius Curse.”

“Rosier is neither observant nor intelligent, my Lord,” Snape said stiffly.

“Be that as it may, Severus, you are not yourself, you would not usually dare speak to me with this much courage,” Voldemort replied, stepping forwards.

“My Lord?” Severus replied.

“Let us see what happens, shall we?” Voldemort said, whirling around at the last minute and pointing his wand at Lily.

“Stupefy!” Voldemort said with a lazy swish of his wand.

Lily Evans crumpled to the ground. Snape stood motionless, as though unsure what to do.

“Ah, the spell fades, I see. I had hoped you would not be so easily overcome by it. You disappoint me, Severus, I thought you were stronger than that. I thought you knew the mudblood well enough to watch out for any tricks she might play? Or were you too enticed by her beauty to focus on doing your job properly?” Voldemort spat out. “You shall pay for this mistake! And the object of your affections will most definitely pay.”

“I’m afraid I underestimated the mudblood,” Snape said, with a condescending smirk at the Dark Lord. “I don’t know her as well as I thought I did. She should perhaps have been sorted into Slytherin. It appears that Lily Evans is a devious little bitch!”

Startling emerald eyes glared at Voldemort from Snape’s face. As the wheels in Voldemort’s mind whirled, Snape removed a leather bracelet from his wrist and tapped it, revealing a large glittering brass key.

“Póg mo thóin, Riddle!” he said, flicking the V at Voldemort (who looked momentarily stunned) as he grabbed hold of James’ arm and apparated into thin air.

“I don’t get it,” Rosier said, looking at Voldemort and rubbing his forehead as though in pain. “Was that Snape? No, hang on.. what was..?”

“Fuck, fuck, fuck!” roared Voldemort, raising his head as his blood-curdling screams carried over the courtyard and into the surrounding forest.

He kicked out viciously at Rosier’s leg sending him hopping around in circles howling with pain. A family of carrion crows, disturbed by the commotion, flapped and squawked upwards from the turrets and battlements.

“Which one of you is the imbecile who allowed Lily Evans to escape?” he screamed at Rosier. “Why did none of you stop her?”

Villiers and Wilkes ducked down behind the walls of the battlements, grimacing.

A splash of white bird dropping landed on Voldemort’s nose. Rosier stared at him.

“You have some…” he said, pointing to Voldemort’s face. “Just there?”

Voldemort looked ready to kill him.

“If you don’t permanently dispose of this group of crows by Salazar’s soul, I will feed you to them myself!” he shouted wildly, waving his wand at Rosier, and rubbing his face furiously with the back of his sleeve.

“A murder of crows, not a group, but whatever,” Rosier muttered to himself, looking peeved, as he aimed Avada Kedavras at the screeching birds.

Voldemort walked over to the body of Lily Evans and stared at the darkening hair and sallower skin, Snape’s eyes looking up at him.

“Legilimens!” he intoned.

The memory was tampered with, powerfully, so that he was unable to see some of the earlier incidents, but he could see the conversation between “Snape” and Avery, Fuck Voldemort, I hate that bastard! Avery running off to hide from him. Seething with rage, he grabbed Rosier’s arm and touched his dark mark.

He watched as all his followers apparated around him, all except Snape who lay half-stunned on the ground, and Hugo Avery.

“Find Avery, bring him to me, now, or you all die!” he hissed, the red veins in his sclera protruding menacingly. “Nooooowwwww!!!!”

***

“I don’t know what happened,” Frank said, his croaky voice difficult to understand in between coughing fits.

“He needs to come with me to the Infirmatory,” Poppy interrupted, looking at Dumbledore and pointing towards the door.

Frank continued coughing and shook his head forcefully.

“We were ambushed… they were waiting for us… they wanted to get Black and Lupin,” he wheezed. “They got Lily and James… I wanted to create a diversion but before I could move, one of them released noxious fumes, no doubt to catch any other Order members, I was knocked out cold… I fell backwards and the thicket hid me from sight… woke up freezing cold a short while ago… I couldn’t find any trace of them whatsoever. I only got back just as Lily apparated here with James, he looks bad.”

The ancient double door burst open as he spoke, and Sirius Black stormed inside, his black jeans soaking wet, his leather jacket still in his hands, closely followed by a haggard-looking Remus Lupin.

“We came as soon as we got your owl. Where are they?” he roared, going straight up to Frank and grabbing hold of his collar urgently. “Where the fuck are they? Tell me!”

Remus found himself unable to utter a single word.

***

The door of the Infirmary flew open, Sirius breathless as though he had just sprinted up five flights of stairs (which he had). He looked at Lily and seeing the pain and fear in her eyes, he forced himself to look at James lying unconscious in the bed behind her - it didn’t look like his brother, the bruised and battered body covered in what he immediately recognised as myriad curses, his usually tanned skin a deathly pale colour. He looked already dead. He looked back at Lily, the darkness under her eyes, her quivering lips.

“Lily,” he tried to say her name but no words came out, caught in his throat.

“I know, sweetie,” Lily’s voice a hoarse whisper.

Then they flung their arms around each other, gripping on for dear life. Sirius felt her chest heave and held her even closer as her quiet sobs filled the silent room, shattering his heart.

“I’m so sorry,” he whispered back, his breath still caught inside his chest, trapped.

What could he say, hearing her heartbroken sounds?

“We won’t... we shan’t let him die,” he managed to say eventually, shutting his eyes tightly to stop himself breaking down. He moved to take both her hands in his own, looking down at her with tears in his eyes.

He didn’t even know was he trying to comfort her or was he trying to comfort himself.

“I… I used an Unforgivable, Sirius,” Lily said eventually, keeping her head down.

“I would have sprained my wrist throwing Unforgivables at the bastards!” Sirius said. “I wish I could have done it for you.”

He had badness in him already, let him hold it for all of them.

It should have been him. He should have been there instead of James, instead of Lily.

“I’m glad you didn’t,” Lily’s voice shook. “I did it to save James… it felt wrong, Sirius, it is wrong and disgusting, but I know I’d do it again to save him. Am I a bad person, Sirius? I.. I saw what they did to him, I wanted them all dead… I thought about it... I wanted to. I don’t want to become like them, Sirius, but I wanted to kill them, so badly!”

“Lily, you didn’t kill them. You could have tried to, but you didn’t. You saved James. Merlin, you saved my brother, the only brother I have left, I can never thank you enough,” Sirius’ voice broke.

He wondered what he would have done in her place.

“It was Snape, he wanted to save me, but I had to find James, I couldn’t… he hurt James, I hate him for it,” Lily said desperately, squeezing Sirius’ arms.

“Fuck that creepy bastard!” Sirius said.

“What if Voldemort kills him? What if he dies? It will be my fault!” Lily whispered. “I hate him so much, but I don’t want to get him killed. I wouldn’t care if he died in battle, not now, not after everything he’s done to James! But being tortured and killed for trying to save me? I don’t want that, am I mad?”

“You had to,“ Sirius said, gripping her tightly. “You had to try to save James. You couldn’t leave with Snape, you know that would have been wrong! You are not to blame for anything Voldemort does!”

“I need James too, Sirius, he doesn’t see that, he thought I could manage without him, he’s so stupid, such a stupid, darling, beautiful man,” Lily stopped, her hand over her mouth.

“He can’t die, Poppy won’t let him die,” Sirius whispered back.

Lily nodded, still crying. He saw her sway and grabbed hold of her shoulders.

“Merlin Lily,” he said anxiously. “Sit down immediately! Are you alright? Are you hurt? Do you need Poppy? Will I get-“

“ No, please, Sirius, I didn’t get hurt, James-“ she stopped, unable to continue, and bringing her hand up to her mouth again.

He didn’t think he could handle hearing what had happened.

“Hush, Lily, you’re both safe now,” he heard himself say.

“He... I couldn’t... I tried...” she said. She closed her eyes and swayed again, sitting down suddenly and placing her head between her knees.

“I need some water, and something to eat,” she said, sounding suddenly anxious as her almond shaped clear eyes searched Sirius’ for reassurance.

“I... Merlin, yes of course, Darling, let me get that for you!” Sirius said, relief blossoming at some small task he could do to help. “Do you want a firewhisky instead?”

“No! I can’t drink now I’m ... I’m a bit dehydrated Sirius, I better stick to the water,” Lily said, placing her hand over her lower abdomen in a protective gesture.

“Yes of course,” Sirius said feverishly, throwing his leather jacket on.

“I’ll get it,” Dearborn was standing in the doorway looking at Lily uncomfortably.

“Lily, I know you already had a debriefing with Professor Dumbledore, but he was wondering if you wouldn’t mind answering a few more-“ he continued.

“No!”

Both Lily and Sirius spoke at once.

“Not now, my husband needs me here, Dumbledore can wait,” Lily said, staring at Dearborn with a hostile expression as she swiped at her red eyes furiously.

“Tell him to go fuck himself,” Sirius growled.

Dearborn nodded, recognising defeat.

“You get some food and water for Lily, Caradoc, I’ll tell Dumbledore,” Remus said. Remus stood quietly behind Dearborn, a grim look, no obvious emotions displayed on his tired face.

“Righto,” Dearborn nodded reluctantly.

“Hurry up,” Remus ordered. “We don’t want Poppy to end up with another patient.”

“Righto,” Dearborn said, looking relieved to have an excuse to leave.

*** “You wanted to speak with me, Mr. Lupin?” Dumbledore said, gesturing vaguely towards the chair in front of him.

Remus sat down. The silence made him nervous.

“You feel guilty for swapping your week on call with the Potters. You want to make sure that your friends are protected from danger as much as possible from now on?”

Remus felt his cheeks flush. He nodded, feeling even worse.

“Good,” Dumbledore said. “I can see why you’d think that way.”

Remus swallowed. Dumbledore blamed him too? He wanted to crawl under the floorboards never to re-emerge.

“I’m sorry,” he said quietly, looking down, unable to meet the Professor’s gaze. “I should have stayed…”

“That’s quite alright, Remus, these things happen, and we have to learn from them,” Dumbledore said.

Remus felt himself slide further down the chair. He wanted to cry. It reminded him of The Prank at the end of Fifth Year. It should have been him. He should have insisted Sirius go with someone else. He felt personally responsible for what had happened, and if James died because of him… if James died…

“What can I do, Sir?” Remus whispered hoarsely. “Tell me there is something I can do to help!”

He looked up and caught Dumbledore looking at him keenly, with an astute gaze.

“Of course there is something you can do to help, Remus,” Dumbledore said, steepling his hands together. “It will be dangerous though, the most dangerous mission I have ever given any member of the Order.”

Remus nodded dumbly.

“It is also top secret. You must not discuss this information with a single soul,” Dumbledore said, his blue eyes assessing Remus coolly. “Not the Marauders, not Lily Potter, especially not Sirius Black. Understood?”

“Yes, Sir,” Remus said, sitting up straighter. “You can trust me.”

“I hope so, Remus,” Dumbledore said. “Most people wouldn’t.”

Remus froze, taken aback.

“I…” he stuttered.

“Luckily for you, I am not most people, Mr. Lupin,” Dumbledore smiled pleasantly. “Lemon sherbet?”

Somewhere in the back of Remus’ mind the words you bastard and what the fuck presented themselves as appropriate responses.

He declined politely.

“I have a singularly important and quite unusual mission, and it seems to me that you are the perfect candidate to volunteer for it,” Dumbledore said, sucking loudly on the muggle sweet and leaning back into his chair.

Somehow the wizard’s eyes seemed beadier in this light. Remus waited.

“I will of course understand if you turn down this opportunity, Remus, that you may be too frightened to go,” Dumbledore said. “Other Order members may be more-“

Remus’ jaw tightened. The words you bastard and what the fuck once more presented themselves as appropriate responses.

“Other Order members have no idea how little I fear most things,” Remus said, his eyes narrowing.

“Yes, of course, Remus, I am well aware that compared to most-“ Dumbledore said, with a placating raise of his palms.

“What mission?” Remus asked.

“A mission to infiltrate Fenrir Greyback’s werewolf pack. I am aware you have already made his acquaintance,” Dumbledore said. “To see if they can be persuaded to abandon their leader and join our side in the war. And to spy on them, at any rate.”

Remus felt a cold shiver of dread run down his spine. His old Headmaster couldn’t be serious, surely. That was a hopeless mission, a pointless waste of life, a …

Greyback…

An ear-splitting scream of terror, his own. Rabid eyes. Massive yellow canines lunging towards him, saliva dripping off them. Laughter and howling.

“Tell your Daddy I said hello!”

A tearing sensation as huge teeth sank into his hip. Another ear-splitting scream, this time of pain…

He felt his hands tremble and gripped the edges of the armchair in agitation.

“If you’d rather not, I am sure I can persuade another member of the Order to pretend to be a werewolf. With some clever Transfiguration spells, which many of our members are particularly gifted at, especially your own friends-“ Dumbledore said.

“No!” Remus said, standing up suddenly and staring hard at the other man, his breathing erratic. “Merlin no! You have no idea…”

His voice trailed off again, his heart hammering wildly against his ribcage.

“So, Mr. Lupin, you don’t feel you can bring yourself to-“ Dumbledore said.

“No!” Remus practically shouted. “I’ll do it! Don’t even think about asking anyone else… I’ll do it, alright?”

“I see,” Dumbledore smiled kindly again. “My deepest apologies Remus, how very brave of you. I should never have doubted you.”

Remus bit the side of his lip. This was akin to agreeing to a suicide mission. Any sane individual would have refused to accept the offer. But surely Dumbledore had guessed he would never allow any of his friends or colleagues to go instead of him, to risk being turned? The bastard must have known all along. Yet he owed so much to this old man, this powerful wizard, the one they were all relying on to beat Voldemort and to win this war. The one who had given him a chance. Who had risked his reputation by allowing him into Hogwarts. Who had not expelled him after the disastrous Prank in Fifth Year. Maybe he was being unkind and unfair to the man. Perhaps this mission was genuinely important?

“No need to apologise, Sir,” Remus said with a small smile, extending his hand out.

“Thank you, Remus,” Dumbledore said, shaking his hand warmly. “I do appreciate your help in this war. I shall contact you shortly with more information about this entire affair. Please remember to keep this top secret.”

“Yes, Sir,” said Remus.

***

He opened the door quietly. The room was dimly lit by the fire and the large candles on either side of the infirmary bed. James looked the same, somewhere between life and death. Lily was sitting on a chair, her head lying on the bed beside him, still fully clothed, the dark shadows under her eyes more pronounced in this light. She was holding James’ hand. Sirius was nowhere to be seen, but at the foot of the bed, on top of the carefully folded blankets lay Padfoot. He was whimpering in his sleep. The shaggy dog opened his eyes briefly, fixing Remus with his mournful grey eyes.

“Sleep, Padfoot,” Remus said quietly. “I’ll stay up. I’ll call Poppy if there’s any change. There’s nothing more we can do.”

Padfoot yelped quietly, turning to look at Lily and James and then looked back at Remus and whined. He was looking at Remus accusingly. Where had he disappeared off to, why hadn’t he comforted Lily? Did he not care?

“I’m sorry,” Remus said.

It sounded curt. Inadequate.

What more could he say?

Padfoot whined once again, dropping his head into his paws, looking dejected. Remus sat on the ground, his head in his hands. He could go over, talk to Sirius, but his boyfriend always knew if he was hiding anything from him, and he was too tired to make up an excuse for what had just happened. Too tired, too traumatised, too selfish…

He stayed where he was.

Padfoot slept fitfully, beset by nightmares. Remus did not sleep a wink. He did not allow himself to sleep. The fear of nightmares kept him awake, as though he were four years old again. Besides, he did not deserve to sleep.

***

PS Póg mo thóin - kiss my ass in Irish

PS To find out if James is okay, and if Lily is in fact pregnant and if yes, what happens next etc, I’m afraid you’ll have to keep reading We Can Be Heroes. If you just want to read on, it’s from Chapter 45.

If you want, I can post more stand alones (Harry’s birth? the Jily engagement? Jily Wedding? Wolfstar first kiss etc??or the next part but it just leads into more stuff!)

#WCBH one shots #BAMF Lily #BAMF James #first wizarding war #defying voldemort #canon jily #canon marauders #angsty #I love Lily Evans #jily #wolfstar #poor darlings #it’s all a bit Angsty

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kim-ruzek · 3 years ago

Text

family we chose

Summary: spec fic for season nine bc that photo of paddy with painted nails Sent me. (Ft. Dad!am and cuteness)

Warnings: Cute adorableness and the possiblity you may die from how fluffy it is.

Word Count: 3.6k (lol can you believe I thought this would be 1-2k?)

Read on AO3

Notes: Paddy + painted nails + Theories = me going fucking crazy with feels.

“Adam, are you done yet?” Makayla calls to him, her voice a whine. Six year olds are not known for their patience, and Makayla is no different.

“Almost,” Adam replies as he finishes up putting away the freshly washed plates from their dinner. Makayla is old enough that she can play, happily and contently, by herself without his participation but during dinner she had asked him if they can play princesses and who was he to say no?

Especially when it helps distract her from the awkward questions she’s asking about Kim, and the clear anxiety and worry which is clearly plaguing the girl, the missing presence of her adoptive mother hanging over them both like a dark cloud.

It’s day two of Kim being in the hospital—day three, if he was to count the night Kevin and Jay found her. She had been in surgery for hours, and it had killed Adam to have to stay away, to not he at the hospital, but Kevin stayed on the phone with him and he was grateful for that.

And it was easier knowing that he was doing what Kim would want, that he was looking after her little girl, helping to preserve some normality in Makayla’s life.

When he had looked after her that night, he had just told her that Kim was busy at work, and he could see that Makayla had sensed that wasn’t just it, but for the most part she believed him. The next day was more difficult, however.

They knew that Kim is going to be okay. She has quite the recovery ahead of her, and she’s nowhere near ready to leave the hospital—she hasn’t even stayed awake for more than five minutes, and even that might be too generous. And so Adam had the task of telling Makayla this.

In his years as a cop, he’s had to do a lot of notifications and telling people that their loved ones are in the hospital but it never gets easier, and none of it could prepare him for having to tell Kim’s six year old.

It had gone better than Adam had thought, with him discovering that he’s a little better at this whole thing than he assumed he’d be. But Makayla’s worries and fears was clear; Adam having to reassure her that Kim will be coming home, and that in a few days, she’ll be able to see her.

“And,” Adam had told her with a smile, hoping to distract her. “Until then, we can have lots and lots of fun together.”

His goofy smile and his light hearted voice seemed to reassure her, as she had smiled at him them, an adorable toothy grin that somehow—even though it makes no sense to as why—reminded him of Kim.

Makayla had asked him if they could make Kim a card, to which he obviously said yes, and they had a fun evening with card, paint and glitter and Adam thought that maybe he’ll actually be able to do this. She did, however, when night came ask if she could sleep in his—Kim’s—bed and, although it sent him briefly into a panic, he immediately said yes, wanting to be able to report to Kim that he did everything right.

“Adam!” Makayla calls impatiently again and Adam laughs, shaking his head slightly.

“I’m coming,” he says, walking to her and taking a seat beside her. His bones complains about how low to the ground he has to be, but Makayla’s bright smile makes it worth it.

“Okay then, lil darlin’, how do we play princesses?” He asks her and her smile widens at her new moniker he’s given her. He called it her yesterday, right after yet another thought that Kim and her may not be blood related, or even known each other for long, but there’s already so many similarities between the two came to him.

“I’m not that small, Adam! I’m third tallest in my class!” Makayla had initially protested to the lil part of name.

“I know you’re not that small,” He had agreed, even though to him, she is, obviously. “But you’re lil darlin’ because you’re Kim’s daughter and Kim is darlin’.”

He had then momentarily freaked out, because he’s not sure how she feels about being called Kim’s daughter, and because he was scared that she’d think he was forgetting all about her mother, the one who raised her for six years.

But Makayla didn’t seem to mind, in fact, she seemed to beam wider at it. She made it clear that she liked Kim and her having matching monikers, and that she’s Kim’s junior—and thankfully, she didn’t ask why Kim is darlin’, as Adam had no idea how to answer that.

Makayla, now, in response to his question, jumps up and runs to her bedroom. She’s back shortly after, with a box filled with princess outfits, and bright materials, like a fluffy neon boa scarf.

“Here!” she places the box down, smiling proudly. Adam eagerly returns the smile, before fishing out a tutu out of it. He holds it up, grinning goofily at her.

“Somehow I think this won’t fit me.” He jokes and Makayla giggles.

“Of course it won’t, silly. You can use some of Kim’s clothes!” Makayla tells him.

Makayla quickly chooses what clothes she—and he—is going to wear, wrapping the neon boa scarf around his neck proudly. And then she’s going back to her bedroom, coming out with a smaller, more delicate box.

“First, we need to put on this!” She exclaims, opening the box to reveal kid makeup, nail polish and some stickers. Adam raises his eyebrow.

“Kim says we have to put it on before the clothes, so we don’t get the nail vanish on it.” Adam thinks she means varnish, her mistake making his heart constrict at the adorableness. Makayla then grabs this sheet, putting it over the rug.

“And we need to make sure we don’t mess the carpet,”

With that done, Adam peers into the box. “Okay, what colour do you want to paint my nails?”

It’s not a sentence Adam ever thought he’d say, not at this time anyway, but he doesn’t mind. Not even when Makayla’s eyes fill up with glee and mischief as she happily exclaims;

“All of them!”

Adam isn’t one who takes much photos, especially as he got older and more serious, and had less things in his life he wanted to document. But he takes lots after him and Makayla dress up, wanting to have a record of this for when Kim is properly awake.

And, if he’s honest, for himself, as—despite the love of his life being in hospital in the ICU—this is the happiest he’s been in a while. He snaps photos of not only Makayla, but himself, capturing his made up face, the tiara on his head and his multi-coloured nails.

Makayla is at school the next day, and Adam is in Kim’s hospital room. He’s showered and washed off his face, and in his clothes, obviously, but his nails are still painted. Makayla seemed to be really happy at him letting her paint his nails—saying offhandedly that her uncle never used to let her paint his nails—so he kept them. That, and because he couldn’t find the remover for it, of course.

“Hey, Kim.” Adam says softly. Kim’s not awake, still sleeping and if it wasn’t for the bruise on her face, the hospital gown, and all the wires surrounding her, Adam would think she looks so peaceful, like she’s just slumbering in her bed at home.

She’s off the ventilator, now, and Adam thinks that he’ll be able to take Makayla in to see her tomorrow, even if she’s not awake when he does, because she doesn’t seem as scary, as hit and miss and near death.

He’ll never be able to get the image of her lying attached to the ventilator, the day after they found her. Adam had dropped Makayla off at school and headed straight to the hospital. Kevin had met him outside, and warned him it wasn’t pretty, and he thought he was prepared—but nothing could ever prepare him for that.

Adam sits down next to her bed, now, lightly holding her hand in his. He’s immediately brought back to all those years ago, to when she was shot the first time, and she was in the hospital. He feels just as sick as he did then, feeling as if half of his heart is gone.

He can’t help thinking how this is the reverse of then, too. Back then, he had to hide how he felt from everyone, the only one who knew was Kim. And now, now he doesn’t have to hide it, everyone in his unit knows just how much he loves her, but Kim doesn’t—or rather, perhaps, can’t see it, for whatever reason.

He’s caught up in this thought that he doesn’t notice her stirring, her eyes opening. He only realises she’s awake when she squeezes his hand—weakly, still not strong—and his eyes look up from the spot they’ve been staring at and to her face.

Kim’s eyes are only half open, heavy lidded, but she’s awake and she’s looking at him. Currently, the only people who has gotten to see Kim, awake, is the doctor, the nurse and Kevin and Trudy. Adam knows he’s needed by Makayla, but he can’t help but feel envy, jealousy, that others got to have her see them and he hasn’t.

But now she’s awake, and she’s looking at him. There’s a smile dancing on her lips, soft and gentle but so, so Kim. His mind can’t help but go back to that first time she was shot again, and about the smile she gave him then, when she realised he was there, with her.

“Adam,” Her voice is barely there, dry and hoarse, coming out a little more than a whisper. But his heart skips a beat at hearing her say his name, and he knows he should calm himself, because Kim has made it clear that dating isn’t on the table—even if he thinks her reasons are nonsense—but he can’t because he loves her, because he nearly lost her, because he’s spent the last few days looking after her daughter and wishing she was his as well, because she’s awake and she’s looking at him and she’s saying his name.

“Hey, Kim.” He says again, managing to catch himself just in time before he accidentally slipped out a darlin’ instead. Her eyes glance down before glancing back up, her smile widening.

“I like the nails.” Her smile is playful, teasing and even though her voice is still dry, he can hear the amusement in it. Adam looks down at his hands, still around hers, and he feels oddly exposed, that it’s apparent just how desperate he is for them to be a family.

“Makayla and I played princesses.” He tells her, proudly, shrugging off any feelings of desperation and insecurity. He then pulls back from her hands, reaching into his pocket for his phone.

“I took photos—if you want to see?” He offers, watching as Kim’s eyes light up. She instantly tries to move, to adjust herself so she’s sitting up more and he immediately stops her, jumping to help her instead.

Kim shifts over, encouraging him to sit down on the bed so that she can see the photos with ease. She’s been in the hospital for days, and the sterile smell clings to her, but he can still smell her, the essence that’s just Kim as she rests against him. He tries to calm his beating heart, but that’s impossible whenever Kim is around him, whenever she is on him.

Especially right now. When all he can think about is how much he loves her, and how domestic this all feels, showing her photos of her daughter, the daughter Adam’s been looking after.

Adam is showing her the photos, getting near the end of the mass he took, when he realises she’s stopped cooing. He thinks she must’ve fallen back asleep—understandable, depending everything her body has been through—but when he looks down at her, she’s still awake.

She’s not looking at the photos, but at him. There’s a softness, affection, in her expression and Adam doesn’t quite know how to read it.

“I love you.” She says then, her voice the clearest it’s been. He blinks, stunned, not expecting that to come out of her mouth.

“Kim—” He goes to say that they don’t need to talk right now, that he doesn’t need to hear this, but she continues, fixing him a look—a look that reminds him a fair bit of Trudy—telling him to be quiet.

“When I was in that warehouse, dying, all I could think about—other than Makayla—was you. I even called out to you; all I wanted was you, to have you save me. I thought I was going to die and all I could think about was how we’ve left things, how I’ve pushed you away. You’re my person, Adam. I know, now, I’m never going to want anyone else and all what I’ve been trying to convince myself about you, about us, it’s bull. I love you, and I never want to be scared that I’ll die without you knowing that ever again.”

This is everything Adam has wanted to hear for years, and exactly what he’s been desperate for ever since, right before Kim fostered Makayla, they slept together again. It’s embarrassing how many nights he’s spent lying awake, staring at his ceiling, wishing for her to say this to him but now, when it’s actually happening it, all he can do is stare, stunned, at her.

“Kim,” He says again, her name leaving his lip sounding quite like a plea. Hearing her say this, hearing her tell him this, it means more to him than he could ever describe and he doesn’t know exactly how to express that, how to express the thoughts and feelings in his mind, in his heart.

“Look, we don’t need to like. I don’t expect anything from you. I know we have stuff we need to talk about, I can’t click my fingers and make everything that’s happened between us okay. But I needed you to know this—I thought I could wait, until I’m better. But you—you let Makayla paint your nails,” It’s so much more than that one gesture, Adam can tell. He can tell from how she says the words, the way seeing his nails painted means so much to her, that it signifies something so much more important than just him having fun with her daughter. And he can tell because he knows her, knows Kim better than he even knows himself.

And he understands exactly what she means, excited what she’s feeling. When he let Makayla paint his nails, he did hope that it would show Kim that he’s taking his role seriously, taking the fact that he’s their family seriously, but that wasn’t why he let her. Adam let her because she’s an adorable child, because she’s Kim’s daughter, because she deserves to be happy. He wasn’t thinking about what he could personally gain from it, it was just something he did without much thought, something that just made sense to agree too—just because Makayla asked.

Adam can see that Kim understands that, and that’s what’s resonated with her, that’s what’s making her look at him like that, with love and adoration and utter affection, a look he hasn’t quite seen in her eyes since the day he proposed to her.

It’s the first time since Kim was pregnant and let him in that hope blooms in him; that Adam has hope that finally, finally, he’ll get his girl again.

He softly strokes his thumb against her hand, before lifting it up and giving it a gentle kiss. “I know, darlin’.” He doesn’t hesitate or hold back now, knowing that it will be received well, and Kim smiles at it.

Adam notices then that she’s looking tired, and realises that her body needs more rest. He gently puts down her hand. “Rest, now. We can talk more about this—us—when you’re better. You need to rest and recover, because I know there’s an adorable six year old who misses you very much.”

Kim smiles again and Adam’s heart warms at the sight of it. “And darlin’? I love you, too.”

She falls asleep shortly after that. Adam doesn’t particularly want her too, not ready to stop seeing her awake, to talk to her, to see her smile and hear her voice. But he’s okay with it, because she wants him and she might be asleep now, but they have all the time in the world, the rest of their lives, to be together.

A couple days later, Kim has gotten stronger and needs less wires, the bruise on her face going down and colour returning to her face. She’s still got such a long recovery ahead of her, and she still needs to be in the hospital for a few more weeks, but Adam can finally bring Makayla with him.

The six year old is very excited, waking Adam up at an unholy time in the morning, practically jumping around the place. She’s made Kim another card and several pictures—some of which includes Adam in them, which warmed his heart—and while she understands Kim can’t come home just yet, she’s still very happy she can see her.

Adam walks through the hospital to Kim’s room, Makayla on his hip—although the way she’s bouncing, squirming with barely contained excitement, it’s a miracle Adam is able to keep hold of her.

He’d have let her bound ahead, walking by herself, if it wasn’t for it being a hospital, Adam wanting to make sure she’s contained and doesn’t cause any destruction.

There are many perks to being a cop, and being able to weave through the hospital with ease just with the wave of your badge is one of them. Although, Adam’s badge isn’t around his neck, Makayla having claimed it for herself.

“Can I wear it?” She asked him that morning, when he explained to her why he was wearing it around his neck, on display. He had agreed, not only because she’s too cute to say no to, but because she’d be carried by him, which would clearly show the other adults around that he was a cop, even if she was wearing it.

“Uncle Kev!” Makayla greets Kevin enthusiastically as they approach Kim’s hospital room. Kevin’s been sitting with Kim until they arrive, and at Adam’s text that they had, he had clearly headed out, ready to greet them.

“Hey, M.” Kevin ruffles Makayla’s curls, the girl grinning as he does so. He then nods in greeting to Adam; the two men still need to have a long conversation—in which Adam knows his role will be too listen, the only words being an apology—and they won’t be totally fine until they do, but there’s an understanding between them.

“How is she?” Adam asks Kevin, discreetly asking if Kim is tired, so he can prepare Makayla for that.

“Good, getting better and better. She’s been napping all morning, so she’s ready for this little one,” Kevin ruffles Makayla’s hair again. “Now, M, Adam’s explained that Kim’s gonna need to take it slow? That it might be scary—but she’s okay, she’ll be home before you know it?”

Kevin’s years of raising his siblings is displayed in how he talks to Makayla, using a soft, but adult tone?

After Makayla nods in answer to Kevin, Adam’s walking into Kim’s hospital room, the six year old on his hip. Kim’s sitting up in her bed, ready and eager to see Makayla. A wide, happy grin overtakes her face as soon as they enter and Kim sees Makayla.

Adam puts Makayla down as soon as they cross the threshold and she wastes no time running up to Kim’s bed. She does hesitate before jumping onto the bed, taking a step back and cautiously climbing up at the end, not wanting to accidentally sit on Kim.

Adam watches this, and watched how then Kim guides Makayla into her arms, her daughter immediately snuggling into them, looking happier than she’s looked in days. The scene tugs at Adam’s heart; they really do belong together, that is clear, their bond strong and true.

“Come cuddle, Adam!” Makayla then looks back at him, smiling that grin of hers, beckoning him over enthusiastically. He hesitates, not wanting to intrude on the moment, on Kim’s reunion with her daughter, but then Kim smiles at him; a big, loving smile which invites him over.

“Kim, guess what?” Makayla turns back to Kim as he heads over. “I’m lil darlin’! And it’s not ‘cos I’m short, but 'cos I’m your daughter!”

The way this makes Kim feel is clear to Adam, her expression open. She responds to Makayla, but she catches his eye, and Adam knows exactly what she’s trying to express to him.

When he reaches her bed, Kim pats her other side, encouraging him to sit down with them. It’s a tight fit, Adam barely on the bed, but it’s nice. He lifts up his arm, wrapping it around Kim, and she leans into him, Makayla snuggling against her still.

Makayla quickly urges Adam to pass her bag to her, so that she can show Kim all the stuff she made for her. Kim’s face lights up at them, looking with awe and wonder and love but all Adam can think about is how well the three of them fit together, that they’re already like a family.

There’s so much to discuss and work out, but Adam is looking forward to what the future holds if this is even a small glimpse into what it’ll be like.

#burzek #chicago pd #cpd spoilers #<- bc it refers to a bts pic #kim burgess x adam ruzek #chicago pd fanfiction #ree writes #ree's.writing #adam ruzek #kim burgess #Makayla Burgess

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