#afternoon tea shitpost

[feneku]

[triplethewinds]

Pippin: What about second breakfast?

Hannibal, who spent three hours preparing “first breakfast” with no hired chefs, a husband who prefers to watch him cook, elaborate dinner plans, and sudden recollection of the dirt the hobbits’ bare feet tracked in his kitchen:

Merry, as inoffensive as possible: don’t think he knows about second breakfast, Pip

[chaparral-crown]

Of course Will didn’t suspect Hannibal. The person who watches my dog could spree kill half the block and I’d still go “Oh, him? That doesn’t sound right - he gives good ear scritches and snout rubs.”

[the-blossica-fan]

Greetings!

Ive had this crack au/theory/maybe shitpost that pre Storm Arcana was a Foundation member alongside Vertins Mom because of one artist on Twitter, and idk they had something going on until the Storm.

The Undooming Arcana AU with the context that Arcana probably also had a situationship with Vertins mom is the wildest thing I can think of.

Like Arcana just casually dropping Vertin mom lore in the suitcase and Vertin cannot make heads or tails if Arcana actually mean it or if shes messing with her.

Arcana: Dear Vertin, I used to be in love with thy mother a long while back

Vertin: What the fuck

That'd make sense actually. If Vertin's mother got washed away in the storm of 1999 and she just decided to use the storm to seek revenge or to go back to a time where Vertin's mother was still alive.

Though it would be so weird for Vertin to hear Arcana talk about her mother and how their relationship went during afternoon tea. She just infodumpted Vertin about her situationship with her mother...

And well, since she now probably has a relationship, she's quite fine telling Vertin everything. She should, however, keep a watch on what she says. No one wants to hear about your mother making out with the woman who nearly kills you and your loved ones.

Arcana: I feel as thou should know. I used to work for the foundation, where I met thy mother a long time ago. Her beauty could not compare to anything I have seen before, and she had the softest body and lip-

Vertin: Stop, just stop. Don't tell me about your romantic relationship with my mother I just want to know where she is

Arcana: Oh, I don't know about that, I too have been looking for her

[justarandombrit]

I've been on Tumblr for a couple weeks now, and I thought I should probably do an introduction post, so here you go!

Hello! I don't really have an online name, so just go with whatever, but, like my username implies, I am British (fuck the Tories, Larry for PM!!). I use they/them (and he/him sometimes) and I'm a minor. I'm bi-oriented but aro-spec and if I think about my gender too hard my brain starts hurting.

(Fandom list to be updated - not currently obsessing over anything. Unless you count Pokémon Talk lmao)

This blog mainly consists of art, shitposts and me keyboard smashing about Hatchetfield. (Nothing inappropriate or NSFW, other than some mild swearing)

(No specific DNI, but if you're like... Openly hateful you'll probably be blocked. My opinion on every discourse (especially especially shipping discourse - ship and let ship) is pictured below ↓

I think that's about it? Have a nice day / night / afternoon tea and I'd appreciate you checking out this blog!

(I can't believe I've been on this site for a year already)

[fairlyqualityanon]

Howdy 🤠

You do be cool friendo, who scares me, but always makes me laugh with comments or memes. XD

Also because I'm a menace: ✒️

AND A RANDOM WEIRD QUESTION: What animal do you associate with all your OC's, like if you had to pick one animal that you think fit them right what would it be for them and why, home skillet?

Bonus question: Which Oc would you invite to a Movie night? And which Oc would you never want to meet? (If you have one you don't want too).

HAVE A FANTASTICAL DAY MY FRIENDO!

But like... HOW? WHY? None of you have met me IRL let alone heard me speak. (Edit: as of late March 8 now some have lol)

Thanks for making me think! ^_^

friendo moot

you’re my friend <3

I need to interact with you every day to remain sane

love seeing you on my tl

you scare me

full stops at the end of all sentences

intimidating but actually nice

ia for weeks on end

no shitposts

Thanks I guess?? no srsly how am I scary?

Send me ✒️ and I’ll write your URL in my handwriting along with a little note about what I think of you!

Damn you I can’t write this out at work but that’s where my nice pen is!

What animal do you associate with your OCs?

Rikard: European badger - they look like they’ll politely invite you for afternoon tea meanwhile American badgers have the rep of "gas station crackhead"

Karla: hedgehog - the babies are super cute but their spikes quickly harden, also they apparently love cuddles??

Rachel: capybara - chill and cuddly and unproblematic and just vibes with everyone

Sam: ferret - hyper and mischievous and also surprisingly cuddly

Dave: manul (aka “IRL Grumpy Cat”) - very talented hunters but also loners, have been observed apparently cooperating with snow leopards as their predators are the leopards’ prey

Jack: chinchilla - just a silly boi, a polite fellow

Simael: octopus - smart, arms are kind of like a flexible tail?, punches fish ‘for no reason’ but current theory is it trains the fish they cooperate with by punishing thieves

Twoey: a corvid (crows and ravens) - clever and enjoy puzzles but childlike, very attracted to shiny objects also Twoey eventually gets a sort of satchel/sideways-saddle to travel with Simael and it’s like a perch

Bryce: orca or dolphin or smth - they wake up and choose violence daily

Glissenda: monotreme (echidna and platypus) - wtf are you sure that's even real?? Like no joke it exists??

Movie Night?

Obviously I wouldn’t invite Bryce or Julie because they are objectively horrible people.

I’d invite Rikard, not because he’s my favorite but because he’s the most chill. Jack, Sam, and Rachel would want to talk, Karla can hardly sit still, Dave has Resting Bitch Vibe... Nikolas might be a fun movie date partner though. Twoey would need a lot of cultural stuff explained, and so would Simael but he’s a quick learner and asks insightful questions.

[luckydxy]

It's decided. She's going to steal every single blanket & pillow on the block.

Her nest will be glorious.

[beuvon-a]

[junosartsthetic]

I posted 693 times in 2022

That's 485 more posts than 2021!

240 posts created (35%)

453 posts reblogged (65%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@junosartsthetic

@strawberrystepmom

@buccislutti

@corpsoir

I tagged 593 of my posts in 2022

Only 14% of my posts had no tags

#jjba - 259 posts

#this is a shitshow and im the ringleader - 138 posts

#q - 116 posts

#shitposting - 113 posts

#shitpost - 111 posts

#x reader - 83 posts

#jjba x reader - 74 posts

#jojo's bizarre adventure - 68 posts

#jojos bizarre adventure - 61 posts

#jean pierre polnareff - 61 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#no this isnt some projection of the father i never had during my childhood and therefore wanting somebody powerful and strong in my life to

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

306 notes - Posted August 23, 2022

#4

Baby, I’m Jealous

Headcanons for when a collection of my favorite JJBA characters get jealous (whether they’d like to admit it or not). She/her pronouns used for reader.

Hol Horse

Jealousy?

Please

He’s a love ‘em and leave ‘em type 

He doesn’t get jealous

At least, that’s what he tells himself when he sees you with some smooth-talking son-of-a-bitch from across the bar

He grips his drink angrily, chugging it down in one fell swoop

Just because you two weren’t official, more like a friends with benefits situation, doesn’t mean this asshole had any right to speak to you, much less caress your hips like he wanted to get you out of your dress

Besides, he didn’t like this guy

A feeling in his gut told him he was gonna break your heart

Not on his watch

You didn’t have time to think before Hol was wrapping his arm around your waist from behind, pulling you against his seething chest

“I don’t know what the hell you think yer doin’ with my girl, but if you don’t get outta my sight by the count of three—”

He summons his stand

“I’m gonna pump ya full of lead”

The bastard is gone before you could process what happened

“Was he botherin’ ya, sweetheart?” he breathes against your ear

“Was he bothering you?” you replied, turning to smirk at him

“I didn’t know you could get so jealous, cowboy”

“Just wanna make sure my cowgirl is okay”

You roll your eyes

“Whatever you say. Just next time, wait until I score a free drink before scaring off the asshole, okay?”

Jonathan Joestar

He’s a proper gentleman (trademark)

But deep down

There’s definitely a part of him that comes out when he sees someone particularly close to you

He convinces himself its to keep you safe and sound

But he knows you’re fine

See the full post

413 notes - Posted August 26, 2022

#3

Pool Time

SDC reacting to you in a bikini. Chaos ensues. Contains suggestive/mild sexual content, especially in Joseph’s part. Oops. Written for female readers. 

It wasn’t often you got to relax for a moment during your crusade to defeat Dio, so you jumped at the chance to spend the afternoon at the pool with the rest of your companions. The vehicle taking you to your next destination—a train—wasn’t going to arrive until tomorrow afternoon, so you figured you all might as well do something fun while waiting. 

Luckily, you managed to snag a bathing suit from the giftshop in the hotel lobby. Did you pay for it? Ehh. Not important.

You finished tying the bikini straps around your neck, looking yourself over in the bathroom mirror. The top piece consisted of a red patterned bra piece with black straps. The bottoms were entirely black with little red bows on either hip. You winked at yourself. You were never the vain type, but you felt pretty hot at the moment.

The bikini was a little tight being that you were too busy trying not to get caught to look at the tag, but it fit good enough. Your thighs stretched the fabric bottoms, and you had to tuck in the tops of your breasts to fit inside the cups, but everything private was covered. All you wanted to do was jump in the water and stay there so it didn’t matter too much. The hot weather of the Middle East was not your cup of tea.

You grabbed a hotel towel, wrapping it around your waist and securing it there before stepping out of the bathroom. Everyone else was already at the pool, as they’d changed and left in the time you sought out a swimsuit. 

Quickly applying sunscreen, you rushed out of the hotel room and to the elevator. Moments later, you arrived in front of the gated pool. It was quite a nice hotel, and there were many shaded tables scattered around the patio. You looked around, spotting the others seated around a large round table. An umbrella provided shade as they sipped on various drinks. You wondered why none of them chose to take a swim. Were they not dying of heat exhaustion, even with their iced drinks?

Tossing that thought aside, you focused on your current dilemma. You needed to be let inside as you didn’t grab a key. You waved both hands, shouting out a name and catching the attention of a certain someone—your boyfriend. Not only that, but a few others also looked your way. It was hard not to pay attention to you in your current state of dress.

Kakyoin

“Holy shit,” Noriaki breathed, eyes widening. Even sporting green swim shorts instead of his usual attire, he felt hot. He looked around, noticing he wasn’t the only one glancing your way. A pit settled in his stomach. He didn’t want to come off as a bastard, or tell anyone, especially you, what to wear, but your current attire sent his mind spiraling.

There was no denying your beauty. He always thought you were beautiful, but this was something else. It felt wrong seeing you in so little fabric in such a public place. 

He shook his head to clear his thoughts before gathering himself and walking to let you in.

“Thanks, Nori.” You pressed a kiss to his cheek. “I thought I’d have to climb the gate for a second there. You seemed out of it. You okay?”

He nodded. “Oh, uhh, yeah. I’m good. You just caught me off guard. I see you found a swimsuit.” 

“Yeah.” You pulled on the strap of the bikini top before releasing it. It sunk back against your skin tightly. “It’s kind of small, though. I hope it doesn’t tear or something.”

His face flushed red at your words. He quickly changed the subject. “Let’s get in the water. I’m dying out in this heat.”

You hummed in agreement, walking beside him back to the table. “Lemme put my towel down.”

You untied the cloth from your hips, tossing it on a chair before heading towards the large body of water. Noriaki struggled to keep his eyes from trailing downwards, and he quickly followed behind you, standing close enough to block your backside from any prying eyes.

This was simultaneously the worst and best thing he’d ever experienced. It was going to be a long afternoon.

Jotaro

Jotaro was good at keeping his emotions in check, for the most part, but he had no hat to cover his face, nor a jacket collar to pop up to hide his red cheeks. All he could do was look down and mutter.

“Jotaro,” Joseph scolded. “Don’t just sit there. Go let your girlfriend in.”

“Mr. Joestar,” Avdol said. “I think he’s a little overwhelmed. I’ll go let her in.”

“Good grief,” grumbled Jotaro, getting up in his usual irritated manner. “I’m fine. I’m going.”

Polnareff snickered. “Go on, tough guy. Go get your girl.”

“Shut up, Polnareff.”

The Frenchman continued to snicker.

Jotaro made it to the gate, unlatching it and letting you inside with a grunt. You raised a brow. “Why are you so grumpy? Something happen?”

“Old man Joseph and Polnareff are just annoying.”

See the full post

648 notes - Posted July 28, 2022

#2

Catcalled

SDC reacting to you getting catcalled. RIP the catcallers but not really because they deserved it. Contains swear words and some suggestive content. Written for female readers.

It happened while you and the crew were walking along a busy Egyptian street. The sun burned particularly brightly that day, and you had resorted to tying your shirt up into a crop top and rolling up your already short shorts as high as they could go. Despite your efforts, your skin still shone with sweat as you fanned yourself uselessly. You’d never get used to the weather in Egypt—that you knew. But you and the others were on a mission, and no amount of heat could stop you. 

Unfortunately for you, a group of rowdy drunks thought you sweating to death looked appealing enough to shout something about it. Of course. It seems men everywhere on Earth could be complete douchebags. Lovely.

“Hey, baby! Why don’t you take it all off!” yelled an older man, waving a bottle around.

“Nice ass, slut!” called another.

“C’mere and I’ll show you a good time, huh!” a third chimed in.

Gross. Gross. Gross. You cringed, teeth gnashing together as you spun on your heels, ready to tell them off, but it seems your boyfriend had already beat you to it. 

Jotaro

The only thing he muttered was “good fuckin’ grief,” before springing into action. To anyone else, it would look like the men spontaneously exploded—blood flew everywhere as Star Platinum sucker-punched the bastards over and over again. Star didn’t stop until the men lay in a gore-soaked pile, all groaning and crying in pain from their anguish.

Though they didn’t catch it, you threw up your middle finger as a final “fuck you” to the assholes who thought it was a good idea to cat-call you. “Keep your mouths shut next time, motherfuckers,” you spat, shooting a final glare before rejoining your companions. The others stood there, varying degrees of concern or awe plastering their faces.

“You okay?” Jotaro asked under his breath. He bumped into you lightly, causing you to lock eyes with him. He rose a brow. 

You nodded, bumping him in return before linking your arm with his. “I’ve dealt with my fair-share of gross men. If you hadn’t jumped in, I would’ve beaten them myself.”

“I know,” he muttered. “You would’ve killed them, though. I wanted to avoid casualties, even including those bastards.” 

You shrugged. “Doubt they would’ve been missed. Anyway, let’s go. It’s hot as hell out here and I’d like to get to the hotel before I sweat to death.”

Kakyoin

“I must have heard wrong,” he hissed. “I know you’re not speaking about my girlfriend like that, right? Because then I’d have to kill you.” You saw Hierophant Green materialize beside him, fists raised. 

The men laughed. A lanky teenager sending threats their way must’ve seemed silly, but they were in for a rude awakening. Before you could blink, Hierophant’s bottom half shot forward, forming a lance as it stabbed through each of the men. They all fell to the ground, holding their wounds as they howled in pain. You were glad Kakyoin didn’t kill them.

Your eyes widened as Kakyoin’s stand wound up for another round—Jotaro placed a hand on his shoulder. “Don’t. They’re not worth it. Forget it. Just make sure (Y/N) is okay.”

Kakyoin turned his gaze to you. You shot him a grateful smile, grabbing his hand. “Thank you. They deserved that.”

“They deserve worse, but that doesn’t matter. Are you okay?” he squeezed your hand. You nodded.

“Fine. Assholes exist everywhere, sadly. Let’s just get going. I wanna swim in the hotel pool before it gets dark.”

Polnareff

He locked eyes with you, as though asking for permission to skewer them. You nodded. Normally, you’d always try to keep your eccentric boyfriend in check, but this time you’d make an exception. These assholes deserved what was coming to them. What was coming to them? A rapier wielded by an angry Frenchman’s stand.

“Bonne nuit!” quipped Polnareff before sending Chariot racing into action. You barely had time to process the situation before you—flashes of silver surrounded the men as blood flew every which way. Cuts formed on their bodies almost by magic. They all moaned pathetically, collapsing, as Polnareff recalled his stand. “Don’t ever talk to her, or anyone, like that again, you bastards!” he shouted, arms wrapping around your waist as he pulled you against his chest. He turned you around in his arms, planting a kiss on each of your cheeks. “Are you alright? I’m so sorry you had to hear that, ma cherie.”

You leaned against him, relaxing into his broad chest as you took in the smell of his fancy cologne. “I’m good. Thank you for that.”

“Of course! Nobody talks to you like that and gets away with it! I’ll skewer anyone who tries!”

You glanced at his face, shooting him a look he knew too well. “As long as you want me to, of course!”

You laughed. “C’mon. Let’s get to the hotel. It’s hot.”

Avdol

See the full post

668 notes - Posted July 21, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

917 notes - Posted August 24, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[lehouxnap2]

@sophiedoesherbest and I did a "words you associate with X character" of the 104th cadets

(This is all our own subjective feelings on them that i felt like sharing, keep that in mind)

Eren:

Sophie= Lucious green forests and mountains, cinnamon scent, the color green, grundge, the silence before the storm, hawks, chocolate cake, really dark and bitter coffee without milk and sugar, Demoralization, turqouise ponds, glory and knights

Me= Dark green, angry, madness, determination, beautiful eyes, crybaby, rock, metal, try hard, soft hair, rude, Fights, bruises, blood, satanist, birds, chains, piercings, Turkish food, freedom, anarchist.

Mikasa:

Sophie= I think she's more of a minimalist in clothing stlye? devotion, loyality, the color red, tigerlilies, mango scent, cented candles, gold, a big city like New York, coffee with milk and no sugar, try hard, persian cats, beautiful grasslands, slightly cloudy weather with sunshin and gentle winds

Me= The color black, black cats, goth aesthetic, lots of jewerly, red lipstick, make up, Japan cities, high boots, cute, romantic, altars, knight, protection, loyalty, red, sports, goofy, katanas, bellflowers.

Armin:

Sophie= Clams, Chocolate cookies, Sandy beach woth cloudless sky and bright blue sea, salty, fresh and oceanic smell (I dont know how to describe it but its a really nice smell), Orange icecream, Organic teas (especially from fruits!!), and Golden retrievers

Me= Water, blue, beach, fishes, shells, Sand, maths, manipulation, lying, fear, studies, glasses, early morning, cardigans, anime, vest, swimming, tea afternoon in a british old house.

Jean:

Sophie= British shorthair cats, strength, thunderstorm with big lightnings and heavy, wind , the sky is almost blac, rich little town in the mountains, polaroid photos, daisies, arrogance, memories, endless grief and love, vulnerability, bright yellow - gold colors, lemon frappe, pumpkinpie, scent of orange and lemon, beanies, grundge stlye with black and red checkered shirts, long lashes, gothic cathedrals.

Me= Beige, punk, shy, mommy spoiled, bullying, envy, leader, maturing, masculinity, horses, french dogs, french food, football, eiffel tower with sunset light, bread, motorcycles, brown boots, wrist watch, ponytail, insecurity, cigarettes.

Sasha:

Sophie= checkered shirts and dresses, sunflowers, jeans, border collies and bloodhounds old, tabby colored barn cat, a good old all-you-can-eat restaurant, cherries, a summer night when all the stars are out and you just gaze at them while the crickets are chirping, old pickup trucks, horses, barn animals, barn life, sunglasses, hunting trophies, big family, warm colours, a cup of warm grey tea, running in the near fields, cornfield, Fall Out Boy songs, rock/alternative clothing, boots, rustic small village where everyone know everyone

Me= Hunting, woods, wild, short jeans, thigh high stockings, funny, friendly, self image, big dogs, bow and arrows, sparkles, sniper, cream, russian restaurant, peruvian food, rifle mouser model, frappuccinos.

Connie:

Sophie= Parrots, cold cozy winter nights with warmth inside the house and being with the family, grey palettes, a big village with full of warm hearted, friendly people, larkspurs, maaaaaany animals, big family house that were theirs since aaages, abandoned mine lakes, cheetos, pancakes, cocoa with gingerbread flavour, cinnamon, lemongrass scent, alcohol and house parties, extroverted, funny, cheerful, friendship, tragedies, big heart.

Me= Asexuality, aromantic life, clown kid, funny, pranks, YouTube shitpost, cool kid, defender, cute, gray purple colors, innocent, bucket hats, caps, ankle rope bracelet, necklace, sunny beach in Miami, colorful converse, sweet sugar, grumpy, weed.

Reiner:

Sophie= lilacs, mint and choco icecream, melancholy, rain with wind an light grey clouds, gingerbread latte, dark chocolate (the bitter one), pitbulls, maine coons, abins in the woods, punk rock and leather jackets, motorcycles, blood and ruises

Me= Sadness, rain, cloudy beach, tears, depression, sleep, nightmares, guilt, double life, yellow, pink, milk, self loathe, admiration, flannel shirts, guitar, dark circles under eyes, eyeliner, cloudy city in Germany, 80's rock.

Bertholdt:

Sophie= Intense snowstorm with really strong wind, foxgloves, pinetrees, pineforest and grim, rocky, dark mountains, dalmatians, brownies, scent of freshly cut grass, isolation, abandoned roads, 1970's Mustangs, twenty One Pilots songs

Me= Marine blue, no determination, undecided, follower, medicine, chill, selfish, appearence, gray, sweaters, cloudy, sweat, nervous, shy, storm, trees, bad luck, coffee place in Denmark.

Annie:

Sophie= demisexuality, purity, hydrangeas, cool weather when there is no snow but things are freezing, overfreezed lakes with unfortunate animals in it like deers, foxes, etc., angora cats, scottish shepherd dogs, vikings, north, goth or scene, checkered skirts, ripped stockings, anime/cosplay stuff, dreamer, repressing emotion, candies, donuts, nutella, sweet coffee with milk and like 4 sugarcubes, campfire, electric guitars, 80's bands and music, eyeliner, electric blue and black, tiny tattoos, death's head hawkmothes, small deserted town with unfriendly people, anxiety and melancholy, chocolate cakes, evergreen forests with forgotten temples and ravens, the urge to deep in the heart hug someone and feel their warmth and love, isolation, regret.

Me= Snow, winter cold, Pearl like earrings, light blue, 2000's rebel style. Guitar, long eyelashes, black eyeshadow, boots, hoodies, white, Stones, wolf, boxing, introvert, nightmares, brute, cats, ice skating, ice cream, donuts, isolation.

Historia:

Sophie= macarons, pastel pink and blue, sparkles and glitter, hot chocolate with cottoncandy, roses, sweet fragranced perfumes, fluffy clouded wheather where the sun shines, the birds are chirping, but the rain is coming, dedication, undying love, grief, pink carnations, Imagine Dragon songs, accessories made from clams, lazy days in cafés, cottages, writing at a fancy laptop, Ragdoll cats.

Me= Royalty, pink, gold, crown, white cats, bells, wedding, mean, 2000's fashion popular girl, velvet, white swan, perfection, imperfection, rebel, cute make up, rings, feminine, perfume, bubble baths, greek gods, two faces, farm animals.

Ymir:

Sophie= Sand, the scent of vanilla and pomegranade, applepies, gold and dark brown earth colours, volcanos, fire, hot, humid summer days with clar skies, a lonely, clear blue river in a rocky mountain, capuccino, bullterriers, Tiger eye stone, bath bombs, loyalty, tragedy, true love, intricate.

Me= Love, pastel orange, cakes, honesty, thief, money, orphans, kind, funny, tickles, catholic church, fresh wind, towers in Norway, fruits, ties, bride, autumn, goddess, true to yourself

Marco:

Sophie= lavenders, deserted /creepy cementeries and villages, some sort of freshness and cleanliness, sunsets when the sky is light blue and vivid orange with pinks and purples, and the clouds are majestic and fluffy, witchcraft, white lilies, warm, cozy feelings, white chocolate

Me= Lavenders, white lillies, music, laughs, sex, kinkyness, sweet stuff, white, chocolate colors, love, sadness, lonelyness, desperation, friend, books, religion, tight jeans, cookies, sunny city in Italy, uptight, high expectations, raspberry, blush

Part 2

[flickermich]

🍓 hihi

LIZ! My beautiful, wonderful, talented, lovely, and every positive adjective possible to describe a person!

where can i start? You are literally my first friend on this site. Back then I thought I would just reblog stuff and I didn't even have the intention to interact with people but when I checked the activity log and I saw you following me I was like? *FANGIRL SCREAMING NOISES*

We've gone a long way to the point that I consider you as my backbone! Whenever I reblog a shitpost that seems kinda funny I think about YOU! I love the time when I wrote stupid little comments under your posts and somehow you DID reply to them 😳 Like the time when I talked about being accompanied by the examiners to the restroom during the test sfkldfj.

The way you make people happy with your words, support people, and give them virtual hugs makes me feel a lot inferior. Everyone in this Bayernblr adores and treasures you <3

Not only are you sweet but you are also brilliant. You can do a lot of things. I really enjoy reading your life and time posts like my afternoon tea and I hope you'll keep doing it without being scared of the possibility of annoying someone :3

Bear in mind that you're great and loved!

@mutuals send me a 🍓 and ill compliment u!

[feneku]

[noneofyourbusiness42]

Okay okay im shitposting a lot but seriously though, whats yalls own fanon for snape?

Honestly, its where the marauders aren't wankers and Harry growls up with a foot in both worlds of Gryffindor and Slytherin. I want a little ten year old Harry to go out and play quidditch with Sirius and James only to go for afternoon tea with Draco and Severus in spinners end and then come home to watch Uncle Rem and Uncle Sev play a game of Chess so intensely that he swears for a moment that time itself was pause. I want Harry to grow up in a house thats never empty, in a place where there's always an ear to listen and a body to hug. I just want to see a huge found family unit for Harry to bathe in their accpect.

[shadowdianne]

_pokes around the dashboard_ Before I'm asked why I'm awake at this ungodly hour by the mutuals that are capable of doing the math and are actually worried about my mental situation I will state that I've been sleeping but a)The heat is not agreeing with me or the fact that the vaccine made me sleep for two entire afternoons so here we are b)Again, the heat. I fucking hate visiting my parents because they are basically a very complicated set of human beings that love to hate me and hate to love me and anyway, getting lost here. Yet, the good thing of visiting my home town is the cooler air. I enjoyed it, I had one (1) night of it and I miss it. c)For some reason the family of the flat in front of ours has decided to start drinking at 4am and I'm a very light sleeper. So you put those three facts together and we have.... a very angry Dianne who does not know what to do beyond mumbling about tumblr posts. Anyway, since I can't sleep I readied myself a cold tea -the sleeping kind, not wanting to shot myself into my foot any more than I usually do- and began to search for the power chords of the memory thingies in where I have everything I've ever written or done for the whole story of me trying to actively archive anything. Good thing? I got the memory thingies. Bad thing? Neither of them are compatible with my current power chords. Slightly good thing? I found one I think it might work for one of them. The other one will keep its secrets. So since I am apparently shitposting I'll just keep documenting me and my journey on: Yes, I wrote a lot, we all can laugh about it. -or I end up in a rage-fueled daze and I erase everything. Who knows :P /sarcasm, W, sarcasm

[unmanageable-day]

Come to me

masterlist

previous chapter: 21

PART 21.5 - next

Summary. After what happened in a relationship in the past, you found it difficult to trust someone with the gentleman image. ‘Gentleman’ seems like merely a concept and it was probably impossible for someone to be a genuine one. Now that you’re stuck with the number one gentleman at campus for a group project, how would you cope with the one and only Joshua Hong?

Genre. College!au, non-idol!au / friends to lover

Pairing. Joshua x y/n x S.Coups

WC / warnings. 2k / soft makeout sesh (can you call it that when no tongues involved??? or maybe its more like pecks session)

TAGLIST. @samemagicpoint​​ @unravellyn​​ @nonuuu​​ @seventeeneration​​ @skylions-den​​ @wooziverse​​ @infinitemoods​​  —  [ send ask or dm if you’re interested to be added in the list! ]

You found yourself being confused, sitting on a couch in a corner of a barbershop, flipping page after page of an outdated magazine mindlessly. Sometimes you stole a glance towards a man whose hair was getting cut and dyed. The man who dragged you there and made you accompany him. The reflection of him in the mirror threw a big smile at you.

"How do I look?" he asked as soon as he and you walked out of the barbershop.

"Just looking like S.Coups. What do you expect me to say?" You chuckled.

Grinning, he casually put his arm around your barely clothed shoulder. The direct contact to your skin simply got you flustered. This was the day you regret ever purchasing a skimpy top with spaghetti strap.

Early in the morning, a friend of yours, Somi, came crashing at your place, forcing you to go out with her. She even dug your closet to find an outfit that was not your everyday wear. And that was how the long forgotten floral sleeveless top was found. You cursed why it was found in peak summer season like this. It just made Somi so eager encouraging you to wear it. She even prepared a pair of jeans, mules, and a handbag that would match the top, according to her. And you can't say no when she looked at you with her pleading eyes.

"We will look awesome, Unnie. You see, the color of our top mixes so well together. We have to take pictures. I promise this cafe has the best ambience. You should update your insta, your feed is so dull because you shitpost too much on Twitter," she excitedly rambled.

You never wanted to go home so bad after Somi dragged you here and there until noon. The hot weather quite bothered you, especially that you felt more exposed than usual. Usually you would have your outer whenever you wore sleeveless shirt. Today was an exception because Somi hurried you and you couldn't grab an outer from the closet.

When Somi accidentally spilled some coffee and you may or may not have purposely wiped your hand that got chocolate sauce on your shirt, you thought it was a good chance to buy new clothes. The baby sister rushed you to the closest store, but you were wrong to think you could choose yourself. Because she immediately took 2-3 pieces of another sleeveless top even with spaghetti strap, pushed you to the changing room, and when you were done, she went straight to the cashier and paid the bill.

Wandering around the store before catching up on Somi, you intended to buy some outerwear. But your hands stopped as you were bewildered when someone called you. And it turned out to be Seungcheol shopping by himself. That was how Somi ditched you with a lame excuse because she got overly excited to see you with a fine looking guy.

"Afternoon snack? Boba milk tea?" Seungcheol offered with his gummy smile. He surely appreciated you waiting for him for more than 60 minutes at the barbershop.

These days you found yourself hanging out with him a lot. You surely remembered how flirtatious he was the first time you met him. He was definitely one person you wanted to avoid, or at least to not hang around with that much. Because, one, he was friends with Joshua Hong, and two, you can't stand him flirting and being cringey all the time. The weird thing was now you can't say no to him. This man strangely found his way to you and somewhat won a small part of your heart.

"Or maybe not?" you said as you looked up in the sky. The sunny day had turned into cloudy as the sky got darker. It looked like it was going to rain soon. The little handbag you carried cannot even fit a little umbrella you always brought anywhere anytime. Now you were panicking, already thinking to call a taxi to go home before it rained.

"I think it's wiser to go to my place since it's closer from here. I'll take you home when the rain stops."

"Your place?" you quietly asked, looking concerned. You remembered the three of them lived together. Joshua told you in the first weeks of your internship, about Jeonghan being sulky everyday because of how loud he was when the blender was working to made smoothies aka to provide your breakfast.

You were this close to running away with a taxi as little rain drops started falling and you could feel the cool breeze against your bare skin. Unfortunately not a single vacant taxi was sighted.

"Um.. nobody’s home. Jisoo and Jeonghan are going out," he explained, as if he could read your mind. The longer you took your time contemplating, the grey shade in the sky was getting more visible. Little rain drops started getting bigger and you were running out of choices. "Come on, we don't want you to get wet, do we?" Seungcheol gently took your hand and lead the way.

Again, you can't say no and you cursed yourself for being very indecisive. All you hoped now was this wasn't a bad idea, although you already had a not so good feeling about this.

"Phew, just in time," he remarked as the two of you reached the apartment lobby when the rain suddenly fell heavily. "Let's get upstairs, dry ourselves, and I'll lend you my jacket."

You shook, reassuring him that you were okay. "I'm fine," you said, wiping off the wet trace on your arms. But as soon as you entered the living room, you couldn't deny the chilly temperature that suddenly crept up your body.

"Towel?" he offered, handing over a pink colored fabric.

You muttered thanks as you continued wiping your arms and shoulders.

"Here, wear my cardigan." He tossed a black knit-wear before heading to the pantry to make some hot drink. "Don't just stand there. Go sit on the couch, turn on the TV or something," he chuckled.

You nervously made your way to the couch and sat up straight. Soon, Seungcheol joined you with two cups of hot peppermint tea. Seeing his cardigan crumpled in your hands, he took it and helped to put it around your shoulder. "Feel better?" he asked warmly as he adjusted his seat beside you. Nodding your head, you smiled back at him.

"The rain doesn't look like it will stop soon. Let's just wait a little bit longer, okay?"

It wasn't like you have other better choices anyway. Going home by bus or taxi and get drenched in the middle? No way.

"Is there anything you want to watch?"

"Not really. Just don't trick me to watch horror movies like Joshua did."

"He did that?" He chuckled. "That was messed up, I bet."

A nervous smile was curved on your lips. You were surprised yourself that you still remembered that one time watching movie with Joshua. That was something nobody ever knew. It just slipped off your mouth when Seungcheol asked.

His choice finally was a classic, award-winning movie. Seungcheol can't keep his mouth shut throughout the movie, commenting every scene or comparing with other movies. He subtly scooted closer, and the pointing gesture which he often does eventually decreased. His loud talking also started to become quieter.

"Why?" you spoke, noticing the sudden silent.

"Nothing." His lips pursed into little grin, his eyes finding yours. "Lean on me?"

At first you were hesitant. But there was something about him that always managed to mesmerize you. His opened arms, the warm smile on his face, and his soft gaze hypnotized you. The next thing you knew was you already resting your head against the crook of his neck, his arm looping around your shoulder, his hand fixing the oversized cardigan on you. You can smell his scent. Although the perfume did not have a strong aroma, it was quite fit to your liking.

The movie was reaching the end and post credit scene. Yet none of you did anything but enjoyed the silence with each other's company. You could feel Seungcheol's hand rubbing your upper arm gently. He clearly didn't have intention to release you from his embrace. In fact, he had never wanted to be as selfish as now.

"I wish the rain stops soon," you mumbled. You tried not to squirm too much. But not fidgeting at all didn't help to deal with the current situation. You started to wonder why you just threw yourself at him.

"I wish we can stay like this," he mumbled, almost whispering.

You pretended not to hear that. Suddenly you felt his lips slightly grazed against your forehead. You flinched but you couldn't go anywhere. His arm was still around your shoulder, securing you in place.

You knew this wasn't right.

"Um, we shouldn't.." you mumbled as you squirmed trying to sit up, hoping he would loose his firm grip but to no avail.

By the time you spoke breaking the silence, Seungcheol had readjusted his position, twisting his upper body so you were trapped between his arms. The back of your head stuck against the sofa, which you wished there was no headrest there so you could have escaped from this situation. Without warning but very slowly, he rested his forehead against yours, one of his hand creeping towards your hand that had your fingers curled into a fist. His thumb gave little rubs on the back of your palm, suggesting to be more at ease and also to open up so he could hold your hand properly. You could feel his minty breath as he leaned in closer and your noses brushed each other. In a matter of a second, his lips was pressed against yours then he slightly pulled away.

"I know I shouldn't.." he slowly whispered before going for another peck. Or two, which made you unconsciously gave in and shut your eyes as he sneaked his hand to hold the side of your exposed neck. And there goes another kiss. "But your lips.." Kiss. "So soft." Kiss. "And sweet." Kiss. "I think I could taste something like strawberry." Kiss.

You had no idea what had gotten into you accepting his kisses like this. You probably forgot how to breathe. If it wasn’t for the way he always took quick pauses between his kisses, you could have suffocated yourself. Not to mention, the way he gently rubbed the back of your hand, which somehow it worked to comfort you (and you probably will hate yourself for this).

What were you even thinking? Did he lead you on? Did you lead him on?

Slowly releasing your hand, his arm then made its way to wrap around your waist before finally planting the another kiss, a bit longer than the previous ones.

As he pulled away, you slowly opened your eyes and met his. The first thing you recognized was his long lashes and the thick brows. That was the first time you were struck by how pretty he was. Still holding you close, his hand traveled to tuck some hair strands behind your ear.

"Seungcheol, I..."

"Keep it." He cut your words with another peck.

"What do you think you're doing?"

Utterly shocked by the presence of someone else, you turned your head abruptly only to find certain someone to be as surprised as you were. "Jisoo.." you mumbled his name, your eyes quivering looking at him with the rest of the guys who dropped their jaws. You hurriedly released yourself from Seungcheol's arms and stood up. Yet you didn't know what to do. Should you explain what just happened? But then what is there to explain? And why should you?

Joshua didn't speak a word after that. He just locked his fiery eyes at Seungcheol, probably waiting for him to say something. Jeonghan and the other guys were nervous at the tense situation that they wouldn't dare to open their mouths.

You took a glimpse at Seungcheol. He was just standing beside you, one hand on his waist and the other one brushing his fringe. He looked like he did nothing. As if nothing just happened.

Jeonghan initiated to break the silence. "Y/n, it's still raining outside. Mingyu will take you home. Is that alright?" he asked you softly, approaching you then very subtly and gently pulling you away from Seungcheol.

You hesitantly nodded, not sure if you could just leave without saying anything. But what would you say at this point? Once again, you stole a glimpse both at Seungcheol and Joshua and weakly said, "Okay." before Jeonghan, Soonyoung and Mingyu escorted you out. 

[whatiwillsay]

submission:

CALL THIS WHATEVER YOU WANT CAM

           First, I want to clarify that I am not anti-Kaylor. I think they were super cute back in 2014-15, and while I don’t think they’re together any more, I would be happy for them if they were. Especially if Karlie dropped Josh, but i don’t want to get into that right now.

All I want to do is listen to Wonderland and cry; look at pictures from the Knicks game date and cry; and above all, laugh at Taylor’s past beards (looking at you, Tom). Because, if there are two things those of us in the “Taylor Swift is Queer” corner of the internet can agree on, it’s that 1) we’re all mad here (RIP Dianna’s tattoo), and 2) Calcium Hambone sucks.

In that chaotic neutral Gaylor spirit, I was looking through Karlie Kloss’ Instagram this afternoon, hoping to find content for a Klossgron shitpost (see Blind Item #9 for context). FYI, I don’t believe Klossgron is real, but I do think it’s hilarious.

Anyway, I came across a cute little backyard video of Karlie with her dog Joe, when what should come into the frame but a WHITE UMBRELLA.

That caught my attention because of TTB’s long-awaited tea announcement from last night, which was substantively a theory about white umbrellas in a backyard.

I say theory, not to disparage it, but because that’s what it is. A theory that since Karlie posted a backyard photo with a white umbrella, and since there is evidence that Taylor has white umbrellas in her backyard, Karlie and Taylor have been staying together at Taylor’s house. This is a somewhat plausible theory since they know each other and both have connections to white umbrellas, but to call it proof is a gigantic reach, as that assumes Taylor’s white backyard umbrellas are the ONLY ones in the greater Los Angeles area.

So back to the theory. A theory is best tested by whether or not it has predictive capabilities, so I suggest we do that with the two (yes, plot twist there are two) videos featuring white umbrellas currently available on Karlies Instagram from June 26th and August 18th.

Based on the pictures of Taylor’s backyard in the theory, what we would expect to see in the vicinity of the greenery and white umbrella pictured in Karlie’s story, is round, white tables, a swimming pool, possibly another white building, and trees. So let’s see if the theory will correctly predict that. If it does, it’s a good theory; if it doesn’t, it falls apart.

Here, in a still from the June 26 video, we can see that instead of the white, round tables pictured in Taylor’s backyard, Karlie has her computer sitting on a black, open weave table that is definitely not white and round as predicted. This doesn’t kill the theory, but it’s a small knock against it.

Moving onto the video from August 18 (you have to swipe to the 6th one in the post marking the end of Kode with Klossy), and we see that Karlie is sitting under a white umbrella right at the end.

More importantly, before that, Karlie turns her camera around to show her computer screen, and we get a (slightly blurry) view of the backyard she’s in above the computer.

There’s another white umbrella at the top of the frame, above black stairs leading to the back of a tan-colored house, a dark, seemingly pagoda-inspired gazebo, and off to the left, a second, Tudor-style house. With the exception of the umbrella, none of this is present in Taylor’s backyard. The neighboring house being in frame is actually impossible given the size of Taylor’s lot. Meaning, it’s not Taylor’s house.  

Now, of course, all this actually proves is that Karlie didn’t make that story, or the videos that appear to be in the same location, in Taylor’s backyard. Could they still be together or in communication with each other? Sure. Maybe. I don’t care. Again, I’m here for the jokes and chaos.

Either way, it is apparent that the theory Karlie’s posted any “proof” of being in Taylor’s backyard is completely unsupported by the facts.

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as you guys know this blog is not interested in shipper wars but is very interested in the truth (and the aforementioned jokes and chaos)

it’s our opinion (and truly just that - an opinion, not stating this as fact) that both swiftgron (obviously) and kaylor are not together.

if proven wrong on either count we will be thrilled.  the thing we want most is for taylor to be happy (and karlie and dianna as well!)

this doesn’t prove anything one way or another but offers another perspective/view point on the source of the white umbrellas

ofc karlie not being at taylor’s house doesn’t mean they’re not together

as you guys know this blog has no insider info pertaining to karlie/taylor - only theories and speculation

also going to use this opportunity to remind people of blog rules 2 and 3.  be respectful of one another and DO NOT AT ANY OF THE CELEBS 

-cam