#i finally have my own reaction!
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Nico and Percy's dynamic through the series is eternally funny to me, because it's just. like.
Percy's having a constant mental struggle between his fatal flaw of loyalty with a promise he made to Bianca to protect Nico, versus his Big 3 kid desire to maim other Big 3 kids / Poseidon descendant urge to totally maim Nico specifically. He hates Nico so so much. He thinks Nico's annoying and weird at best, and creepy/sketchy when he's older. The only positive thoughts Percy has towards Nico are "He's Bianca's brother and Bianca was my friend and I owe her/He's Hazel's brother and Hazel is my friend and would kill me if I was mean to him," "He's a powerful asset and useful ally (if questionable)," and "He's kinda pathetic and I feel maybe a little bad about it." Percy has multiple occasions throughout the series where he strongly considers - and on one occasionally actually goes through with - throttling Nico.
Meanwhile, Nico is following around Percy like a lost puppy. He explicitly can never bring himself to even dislike anything about Percy no matter how hard he tries. He has a whole bit in BoO where he's mentally going "UGH he's so stupid BUT IT'S ENDEARING HOW DARE HE." He's totally smitten. He's making deals with his dad for Percy. He's making convoluted plans to help Percy stand a chance against Kronos. During the entirety of BoTL it's like he's playing tsundere - "I'm helping NOT PERCY SPECIFICALLY with this quest! Me helping Percy would be SILLY because I DEFINITELY HATE HIM." Then he proceeds to show up to Percy's birthday party to basically ask him on a weird date and spend the entire next book scrambling around trying to help him or protect him or impress him. And Percy could not give less of a shit.
Just. That dynamic is so funny to me. Percy is the founder of the Nico Protection Club in that he's the one they're all protecting Nico from and meanwhile Nico is throwing himself at Percy to the point where the literal god of gay love calls him out on it.
#pjo#percy jackson#nico di angelo#Percy shows up at CJ and squints at Nico like ''hm. why do i feel like i hate you? like i just wanna punch you in the face?''#and Nico just immediately goes ''huh no idea anyways i have to go-'' and jumps into Tartarus#but not before he gives Hazel essentially a detailed explanation of ''this is Percy i cant say much but please dont let him die <3''#and Nico's whole Tartarus trip was basically a whole ''im doing this so no one else has to''#only for Percy and Annabeth to fall in like one book later and Nico proceeds to spend the next book internally screaming about it#and then Cupid calls him out on it and the next book#Nico's just like ''at this point im hoping i keel over within the next week just so i can force this dumb crush to chill the fuck out''#Nico staring pointedly at Will: ''For my own sake i need to form another crush RIGHT NOW so i can finally get over Percy.''#''this has been so bad for my health''#Nico's crush on Percy is just too funny to me. horrible pick my guy. terrible job. love that for you. he could not be less interested.#Percy LITERALLY TRIES TO KILL NICO and ditch him in the underworld and Nico is somehow STILL like ''but i love him''#Percy basically chokes him. beats up his dad. tells him ''go get smited by your dad for me.'' and ditches him.#and Nico's opinions/crush on him DO NOT CHANGE#though also Nico's reaction to Percy beating up his dad + skeletons is SO funny. his jaw is on the floor. he's flustered about it.#he just witnessed Percy be incredibly hot and proceeded to go ''yea i'll do anything for this man. collect reinforcements of 3 gods? sure''#nico you absolute DISASTER with HORRIBLE TASTE. you can do better. raise your standards.#which tbh is funnier when you factor in sun and the star. Nico just wont stop crushing on guys who dislike him and everything he stands for
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this post was a game changer for me. thank you ryan reynolds
#text#LIKE. i beat myself up for a WHILE abt my reaction#But what that person did was much worse#& i did not say a single unkind word to them#& if i had a big freak-out break-down on a PRIVATE BLOG that was essentially a diary because i DIDNT KNOW THEY WERE STALKING ME ONLINE ⁉️⁉️⁉#well i was well within my right to do so. because i should not have been expected to account for their feelings right after what they did#IN MY OWN PRIVATE SPACE. !!!!!!!!! GOD.#and i kept myself in check speaking directly to them & thats all that should have been expected from me. i was allowed to say mean things a#about them in what was essentially a digitsl journal. after they LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED ME ‼️‼️‼️#Sorry Everyone im finally going back and like processing stuff from years ago due in no small part to the shelby abuse stream#so sry if im complaining abt being traumatized more than usual 😒#traumablogging
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So many plotpoints I just don't understand in this arc. Why have bkg die? Why have him fight afo? Why have izuku lose his arms? What purpose has any of it served???? At all???????
Todorki and ochakos fights were handled so well and streamlined and benefited their characters and arcs but bkgs and dekus have been a mess all bcus hori is a coward who won't just let them fight together bcus ig save to win and win to save meant nothing at all
Why have bkg die?
I think it's pretty clear from the way that whole thing was framed that the purpose of Katsuki dying was symbolic. This is a staple of Japanese drama running all the way back to kabuki. It is a trope for a main character to die to shed their mortal incarnation and come back to life as their deified form. Katsuki's death runs perfectly parallel to Tomura's from the PLW arc right down to the part where they are both responsible for their own resurrections. It's probably one of the best cases I can think of where a character's death actually did further that same character's arc without fridging them for the sake of someone else.
Why have [Katsuki] fight AFO?
Because AFO was set up as a "what if" scenario or cautionary tale for Katsuki, the other side to his "villains and heroes are two sides of the same coin" storyline. AFO in his physical form has a different character arc and story utility from AFO the quirk vestige. He provided a lot of backstory that allows us to infer the subtlety of how Katsuki is likely some sort of reincarnation of Kudou, the mechanics of which we will never need to revisit because they're unimportant. It was about karma and personal growth. It was about showcasing how Katsuki is an heir to many legacies, All Might's included.
Why have Izuku lose his arms?
Again, it's symbolic. It's been foreshadowed pretty heavily that Izuku would risk losing his arms in reaching out to save someone. This was a demonstration of his willingness to take on that risk. It also provides a moment for Eri to get in on the "everyone contributes a little bit to the fight" action all the other characters have been allowed to have. We don't even know yet what state Izuku will actually be in when this is all over, so it'd be premature to jump to any major conclusions about all of this. The story may still have a lot to say about this.
What purpose has any of it served???? At all???????
To entertain me specifically.
Todorki and ochakos fights were handled so well and streamlined and benefited their characters and arcs but bkgs and dekus have been a mess all bcus hori is a coward who won't just let them fight together bcus ig save to win and win to save meant nothing at all
Bold of you to assume you've read the final chapter in the story yet.
#anon ask#ask pika#my hero academia manga spoilers#final arc spoilers#at this point i'm just gonna have to get snarky about all of these sorts of asks#if you guys won't stop to think about this story and find the answers to your questions yourself why is that my problem#you're entitled to your own opinion#but jeez#one sloppy chapter and you all go off the deep end with it i swear#as if every story out there doesn't have a bit of this going on#seriously#is this sort of reaction really merited just by the fact izuku's arms are being healed???#if you need context just know i've been getting a ton of asks like this lately and i'm pretty sure they're not all from different people
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Finished veilguard, I finally will go on the tag as a treat because those last 4 hours put me through so much....
#dragon age#datv#dragon age veilguard#veilguard spoilers#datv spoilers#im about to talk in the tags this is your last chance to look away#i am holding the Davrin romancers by the hand because my gOD if you pick that decision (WHICH I DID)#because story wise it made the most sense#BUT MY GOD it makes everything in the final quest hit so much harder#shout out to my rook who was fully going off fumes for that last bit#what was that line they said? 'i can collapse on my own later'#anyway if you want my thoughts or reactions hit me up because my god#i have ideas for my rook post game if i keep that Choice™ as their canon choice or if i reload#im probably gonna keep it but we shall see#yes im sad about the romance cutscenes everyone else got#i hAd sad times alone#i can keep on going about this i have Thoughts#i shouldve romanced the damn crow#gestures at the sketches i have in procreate . what am i supposed to do with this
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#agatha#agatha all along#can you tell that im so so soooooo bitter about the finale#like i get that some people loved it#good for you#i dont and i'm dying on this hill#yall have every right to be happy about it and talk about how happy you are about it!! but pls keep to your lane#i spent two hours going through the agatha all along tag and there were a handful of people going#the finale wasnt that bad look at the bright side you should be happy about how it ended#bitch. dont tell me how i should enjoy my media#why did she see the darkhold in the cradle and why that reaction?#'is the how nicky died' i dont understand how that prompted her to take such a huge risk#also??? why does rio wanna see agatha die so badly??#and when she did die where was rio? all that build up and fighting without any conclusion to it??#rio just disappeared no conclusion no confrontation not even a word before she kissed Rio and gave her what she wanted which is her death#the build up was really good but the pay off really fell flat and felt rush and agatha ended up feeling like shes sidelined in her own show#even when she had tons of screen time! it just fell flat like agatha deserves better she deserved change and growth and development#she deserved confrontation and facing her feelings not all this continued avoidance and shifting focus onto Billy#she's done too much to have this half assed conclusion to her arc that was built to set up someone elses story like the direction it went#was so gross like every other character had really well written and developed story arcs and conclusions and hers was just???? deflated???#im not even asking for a full on backstory about their relationship bc the show isnt about agatha x rio lmao#them having a happy ending doesnt make narrative sense. what im asking is simply tie up the threads they sewed into the narrative
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(oc) a group of syls is called a silly
#i saw that one person who said they live for ocs#you asked for it.#finally unveiling the one thing i worked on for a few weeks#can you tell he's my favorite yet#no? Well.#i actually have a few pieces of syl i printed out#if he gets good reactions he'll appear more in posts <3#everything i have drawn of this man is between me god and maybe you#oc#(he might get a tag of his own if this keeps up)
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Back to what I do best (bare minimum Putting My Guys In Situations shitposts) 😌
Inspo under cut!!!
#fire emblem#feh#got so mad at my other thing i finished this one out of spite.#this shitpost is also what spurred on my recent fairy posts! really really funny and unironically cool#how shitpost redraws can just. help you get a better feel for a chara and/or their dynamics w other charas#or in this case makes you REALLY think about them like!!! yeah haha funny plumeria hatemail#but like how am i gonna draw her actually? how am i gonna portray her? i need to figure these things out as i go#which led to my redesign and oops! uh oh! she's in my brain now. she's taking on a life of her own.#i def needed the break/detour though... if i ever want to get to my fairy lore i have to. develop the fairy lore.#also kind of fucked up and evil i think i finally hit a point where i was tired of drawing alfonse. insane.#to be fair... that other project i've been working on.... has hands.#again just a much needed break/shifting of gears. it was a lot of fun!!!!!#this was a rush job though i will admit that. again. finished out of Spite.#okay okay now that i'm done complaining. about the piece itself i feel like i have to say#THE CHARACTERIZATION... IS SO PEAK SILLY HERE I LOVE IT SO MUCH. ESPPP SHARENA#sharena just being a yes man to moe. bc they're besties she HAS to be in its corner and defend its good name!!! 😤😤😤#moe just. being oppositional just for the sake of it. guy who loves to just Say Things so long as it gets a good reaction.#(CAN GO. SO POORLY FOR IT.)#alfonse.#i just loooove... putting guys in situations... it's soooooo fun#fe plumeria#sharena#fe alfonse#moe tag#summoner oc#my art#my comics
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i saw that you used to hint at oc stuff on twitter (don't ask me why im digging im looking for zola stuff lmao) why don't you post more about them?
i am simply terrified that if i post oc things online someone will steal the concept and run with it faster and better than i ever could have and then i will be devastated forever and ever
more seriously i have very little to show for any of my oc things (adhd brain making life difficult as per usual awawawawawa) and every time i've shared oc things in the past i've ended up never following up on it and it makes me feel bad and guilty so i've just convinced myself i will Never talk about my ocs until i have something substantial i can put out there
#mio answers things#anon#i'm getting a little better with making things for my ocs#on account of having friends i can actively share my brain rot with#but i still dread the feeling of posting a character and being forever haunted about never doing anything with them ever again#(echoes of custard howling in my mind)#just like how i dread having a repeat of that time in middle school#where i talked about my werecrow oc in the comments of a bigger artist's works#and they ended up making their own werecrow oc immediately after#they very much directly aligned with mine#but it got wildly popular on their account and they made a ton of art for it and i just#ended up deleting any evidence of mine because i felt so bad about it skjdfhgkldhfkgj#like i have no problem with people taking inspiration from my designs#i think it's fun seeing people design vy2s with two toned hair and kyos with pink eyes and hair pins w#but like. the thought of posting my oc and having someone run them through a blender to make their own character makes me feel. bad.#i can't articulate the specific reason Why it makes me feel bad but it does skjfghdkjfgsdhkjf#like if i finally posted theater gang stuff and then saw someone else take those concepts and make them into their own characters#i might just collapse into a pile of beef trimmings and never get up sdfkjhglksjdfg#it's silly and i don't know why my brain's like this but because of this in combination with my fear of posted oc things haunting me foreve#i simply will not be posting <3333#(and also just that. i'm incapable of producing enough artwork to make my ocs matter in a public context i think.)#(like you breed affection for a character through familiarity)#(which you only really get by creating A Lot Of Art)#(and i cannot do that <333)#(so instead most times i post it's a few handfuls of likes)#(and that doesn't really feel worth it to my brain when i could just settle for going insane over them with my friends skjdfhgkjsdf)#i really think this last year has just taught me that i really. honestly truly prioritize the reactions and feelings of my friends#over strangers on the internet#and it feels a lot more comfortable that way w#AH
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When I was little, a dog knocked me down and bit my face. It was my brother’s friend’s dog. It’d escaped a few days ago and I’d found it when I was walking around. Thought I could lure it back home, except the dog was not interested and walked off, so I followed it. I followed it for a while, and at some point it turned around to bark at me, and I was like “uh oh! maybe this dog is pissed!” but I kept following because humans are pursuit predators I guess and got close enough to grab the collar, and can you guess what happened? Anyway, as that dog—I think her name was Chikorita—was snarling over me, her teeth lightly clenching my chin as she shook my head, I remember thinking, “oh. this is how people get phobias of dogs.”
(Potentially important context—I was like six? maybe seven? and had just recently learned what phobias were, and was obsessed with learning about them, and was trying to figure out my own phobias with the same fervor I dedicated to figuring out what type of Pokémon I would be.)
And then Chikorita ran off, and I was lying on the sidewalk a little shook up but basically fine, and after a bit I got up and walked home to tell my brother to tell his friend I’d seen his dog. And I remember on that walk trying to figure out if I could know whether I had a phobia about dogs without actually seeing a dog again, which I didn’t want to do on the off chance I was in fact now phobic. Unfortunately just thinking about dogs wasn’t enough to tell me anything, so I figured I’d just wait until the next time I saw a dog and try to remember to see if I was scared or not.
Saw a dog at some point later, looked at it, and thought, “no, I’m not scared of this dog and perhaps not scared of dogs altogether. But I better keep gathering data to make sure.” So for a while I’d look at dogs and be like “no phobia, no phobia, hey remember that thing with the other dog who looked like this dog? still no phobia? alright, no phobia.” And then I sorta forgot about it for a while until I’d see some German Sheppard and would instantly think “it’s so interesting that I’m not afraid of that dog,” and it was true! I wasn’t afraid of dogs. Just for a while I had to manually confirm that lack of fear each time I saw them.
And every now and then, I check in with that memory just to make sure that it doesn’t right now trigger a late reaction cynophobia, and it doesn’t, we’re good, and I think to myself “it’s really nice that event had absolutely no effect on me at all,” and I was lying here tonight thinking that when it occurred to me for the first time that there’s a chance this event maybe did at least a little effect me.
#just thinking about it tonight#I have to check in to my longitudinal study on my own fear reaction. when we finally publish it’ll be fascinating#oh also I don’t remember what happened with the dog I think she just went back home at some point#I don’t blame that dog I ignored every warning she threw out
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no thoughts head empty. Caleb pressing a tender kiss to each of Kingsley's palms as he removes his gloves, then bending down to unbuckle the garter belt on his boot only--
#im so sorry but I just remembered that bOOT again and it's so fun to me i love it#also. the high collar and gloves. no skin showing. how well it mirrors kingsley repressing his own desires and feelings and trying#so badly to hide away the scars and tattoos and the pain of every past he carries. finally laying himself bare for caleb--#Caleb widogast#Kingsley tealeaf#it's like taliesin makes character designs catered to my bi heart specifically I'm doomed every time#caleb would have the same reaction to that as molly adoring his magician's book harness I think--
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im gonna be real for a second. if fantasy can only be enjoyable to you when removed from any and all real world implications then is it even good
#mileposting#sorry if this seems like its targeting anything i literally just started thinking abt it for no reason#like this is not a vague LMAO but i think its smth ive thought about for a long time and i finally have the words for it#because like. okay for one all stories are based on the human experience whether its About the Human Experience or not#so i think when approaching a work of fiction and seeing something that has implications in real life#a lot of people have the kneejerk reaction of ‘its fantasy/its made up/its not real’#but where did it come from? who was it written by? what are the writer’s personal feelings on the matter and does their bias affect the work#this is just a me thing i guess but i dont find it any fun to see those connections and immediately disregard them#its because of those structures and systems that we can find a fantasy work so compelling#i understand the want to just turn off ur brain sometimes and be like fuckkkk cool dragon#like i fucking love a good dragon or whatever dont get me wrong#i have a world of my own thats literally just Ooh cool shit#but i would not call that compelling. fun maybe. but a lot of the appeal is lost for me#fantasy worlds are mostly just. our history but with fantastical elements to it#they typically are not fantastical worlds with our elements Removed from it#so the way specifically societal structures are treated differently in that aspect is interesting!#idk this is kind of a nothing post also you can tell i got distracted like five times in the middle of writing the tags. smile
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sic transit gloria mundi / burial
#i have SERIOUS thoughts on this but also. a little funny ok tai just finally manages to adjust her view of van#and sort of sway in her own beliefs#and van is like so anyway. atheism 2! gif#anyways.#SOMETHING was out there with us vs i just figured it meant SOMETHING#the juxtaposition of her talking about something supernatural vs her own purpose as a person#and how thats THE SAME FUCKING THING#grasping at something to believe in. a higher power that can save them. save her#losing it because its all just too much. losing it as an adult with a scary diagnosis#her reaction to lottie in modern timeline to me RIGHT NOW feels like. being terrified of hope#i almost died so many times i almost stopped believing i even can die and i put all my faith in you#and now my own body turned malignant and i need to be cynical i need to be REALISTIC#because to hope and to have faith can bring such a crashing disappointment#idk what im saying anymore its 3am anyways . van . vantai also. if you even care#yellowjackets blogging#van#van x taissa
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I am so sleep deprived and delirious lol but I still cannot believe I got the internship that I got. for safety and privacy purposes I don't think I can namedrop it, but trust me if I said the name, you'd recognize it.
and this kind of thing doesn't typically happen to me. like in terms of my academic achievement, I've certainly achieved. but always like...at the B-tier, you know? Like I'll have a high GPA but I'm never the valedictorian. I graduate magna cum laude, not summa cum. I get a nice scholarship at the lesser known state school and not the more competitive Big Ten school. I get into a PhD program but not a well known one (or one that provides a competitive stipend for that matter). B-tier. And I was always okay with that- you don't need a fancy Ivy League school on your degree to be a good psychologist or get a good job. a degree is a degree at the end of the day.
so when I applied for this more prestigious internship I knew it was a reach, and I never seriously considered that I would get it. I applied to a lot of other safer, smaller sites, thinking I'd more likely get one of those. Honestly I was honored that I even got an interview at this site, but genuinely I thought that was as far as it would go. like it was cool to be invited to the interview and that was good enough for me. so when I was waiting to hear where I would match I had fully written off this site as a serious possibility.
so to end up getting it is such...like I cannot emphasize enough how much this kind of thing does not happen to me. I never get these kind of A-tier, name-brand opportunities. this is wild. I can't believe I get to go home this summer and have the bragging rights for once.
#maybe I can finally shut up my annoying aunt who won't stop bragging about her own daughter's achievements#like I love my cousin she's awesome but it does get tiring constantly hearing from my aunt about my cousin's phd from the big ten school#and now her job at the elite sec university#which is just always a little bit better than my psych degree from my B-tier university even if it is in new york#...arguably C-tier come to think of it#but finally I can name drop something I've achieved and know people will have a reaction lol#I've worked my ass off for this so it just kinda feels earned#I deserve to brag a little you know#or to be proud of myself anyways
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yeah guys idk I'm just thinking maybe the lightheadedness and desire to sit down about halfway through putting away groceries my whole life might not have just been a reaction to the way my parents were when i was a kid and the accompanying anxiety and sudden flurry of movement, but also possibly maybe i have a Health Thing about this...
#thank god i finally scheduled that doctor's appointment#Jan 15 cannot come quickly enough tbh#like i've streamlined getting shit put away and i hurry as soon as the wooziness starts hitting because i know i'm on borrowed time#and that's when the trauma reaction kicks in of ''i can't stop halfway through i'll be in trouble'' anxiety#because i *enjoy* putting away groceries and organizing the kitchen#i just also can't without a lot of assistance and plenty of spoons and time to prepare myself physically and mentally beforehand#this post brought to you by i had this realization doing the groceries and now i'm having like a lot of thoughts about it#i can't do it all in one go ever and i have never been able to without someone else handling about half of it#no matter how much i get or of what i can only get about half put away before time's up and i gotta sit down#it's why so much of my food was non-perishable when i was on my own#cause i'd get the cold things put away because they *had* to be#and then i couldn't physically do any more - especially if the groceries that week were more cold than non-perishable#but like yeah if i had to stop or take a break in putting away the groceries (despite also having gone to the grocery store#and walked around the whole store and grabbed items AND carried the heavy things into the house because i was the heavy lifter#AND i was in sports and had probably either just done a lot of exercise or was still in recovery from the day before/earlier that day)#i got fussed at for not helping out#so that's fucked up and fuck my mom actually she sucks#ugh
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My parents and I watched the season 3 finale of Star Wars: Rebels tonight and I can't believe my mom was the one who was like "WHY ARE THEY* ALL DYING?!" and I was the one being all, "don't worry I'm sure it will be fine." this is the most role reversal we have ever done.
(*to clarify I mean the rebels in general, the main cast was fine)
#star wars#star wars rebels#star wars rebels spoilers#what's really funny is that this season ended pretty much like 'the last jedi' did it with hardly anyone making it out#and them all crowded on the main iconic ship#and I HATED the last jedi#but like it just felt so much more HOPEFUL in rebels Idk man#also yeah I did make this post as a way to shamelessly react post in the tags#Idk even where to start#the first part of the finale was crazy man their leader literally CUT AN IMPERIAL SHIP IN HALF by ramming his command ship into it#like if you're gonna die doing a kamikaze run let it be by CUTTING ANOTHER SHIP IN HALF#and what the FUDGE is bendu WHAT was his deal even#kanan showing up yelling at him like merry with treebeard in the LOTR movies#'but you're a part of this world! aren't you?'#my mom was so mad at bendu for refusing to help akjghljasgdhfdgjags I'm over there like 'wait until they ACTUALLY ATTACK HIS PLANET'#and haha I was right#okay this is so silly but I'm so happy they didn't kill off agent callus that dude has really grown on me#he was doing his best thrawn's just insane with strategy#also THRAWN aklghfjaskgdls okay I LOVED his reaction to bendu being “?!?!? shoot it?!?!” *windows error noise*#man was foiled by his own underlings and angry force rafiki#HERA CALLING KANAN 'MY LOVE' OH MY WORD JUST *MARRY* EACH OTHER ALREADY YOU BASICALLY ALREADY ARE#'looks like the family's back together' STOP#the yavin base name drop#me through the entire space battle: do you know what we need right now? the battlestar galactica#just looked it up and apparently a star destroyer is actually not much bigger than a battlestar which is. FASCINATING to me#they'd be like the same class of ship#which tracks yeah#anyway#they did have a few ships get away so they did actually have a better success rate than in TLJ#but of course they had MANDALORIANS to help them out here so
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You want to know how bad my memory is?
I was writing last night and I just straight up forgot that Sanji exists. I have been watching this show since 2012, he was my fave Strawhat outside of Luffy pre-TS, and I FORGOT HE EXISTED.
I was like 'hm yes well the ones who would understand are Nami and Robin... W- wasn't there one more I was thinking of a moment ago? Wasn't there another one who'd Get It?????'
'it's not Chopper. Definitely not Usopp. And it's not Zoro. That's all the remaining Strawhats at this point in the story. So... Why am I convinced I'm forgetting someone? Let's go through the arcs in my head agai- OH MY GOD, I FORGOT SANJI'
#When I tell you my memory is shit... 😭 I used to own a Sanji shirt. What the fuck??#When that post about the memory issues finally leaves my queue#Like I joke about it but this shit can be genuinely terrifying. Like knowing my brain is getting worse. Knowing I'm probably forgetting#Seriously important things and just 'oops I can't remember haha'#It's scary.#I'll never get better because I'll just relive the pain over and over because my brain refuses to remember the help and progress I make#Every day I wake up back at step 1 it's so depressing and scary and horrifying and I hate it#I can never process anything bc I just forget and if I do remember it's like a punch to the chest for the first time every time#And people get SO sick of you after a while. Constantly asking for help. Never remembering anything. They get so annoyed with you.#Anyway. On a lighter note (not actually) I'm trying out a new one-shot :)#Not to speak ill of the 'soon-to-be' dead but Garp was a shit grandfather#So I was like What If Me And Luffy Had The Same Reaction#Because self love starts in recognizing your self through the other god damn it#Even if I finish this idk if I'll post it bc of how personal it is but it has been very cathartic to write#Then again I could just publish it anonymously so my irl friends won't see it. No harm no foul.#I (kid) once pushed my mom (grown adult) out of my room when she caused me to have a meltdown so I could 100% see Luffy doing the same thin#In my defense she had a habit of taunting me and destroying my stuff to punish me after inciting meltdowns and I just wanted to be alone#I was like 7 years old at the time (hell year hell year) so I doubt I actually hurt her. She just looked surprised. I remember that.#Sometimes I wonder why I identify so much with werewolves and then I remember ah yes. The childhood of being treated like a monster.#Like a freak because when people kept pushing your boundaries you'd rather bite than let them do whatever they want to you#Oh boo hoo such a terrible thing for a child to be... Protective of themselves...#ANYWAY. like I said this wasn't going to be much lighter.#I want Luffy to punch the lights out of Garp to protect his friends. Not even in-canon just in this fic#Ik in-canon Garp is a complex guy and loads of fans love him but... Smash eggs make sandwiches know what I'm saying?#Yeah GROOVY
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