#&yet somehow im the one in the wrong even though standing on my principles has cost me fucking everything

[jvzebel-x]

🦋

[barbieb0y]

where hope lies in a snowless land.

day 5 wowza!!

for day 5 of scrunkly week, i... actually planned to go with all the prompts except what once was will never be again but... i got carried away and somehow that became the only prompt i wrote about ???????? dude i swear theres just smth that possesses my fingers when im writing

ngl i projected more than usual here somehow but this is like. hurt/comfort. paper cut has a shitty family and joe comforts him basically. their relationship is more ambiguous too. anyway

“Man, if I wanted to live in a place where there’s no snow during winter, I might as well go back to my hometown.”

Paper Cut quips as he looks up at the sky and reminisces the days he spent at a land oceans away from his current home, one corner of his lips tucked in disappointingly. Unfortunately for the two of them, San Francisco is not known for its snowfall activity. On the contrary, when it does occur, it’s written into the history books.

“Too bad you’re stuck with me, huh?”

Joe’s comment is accompanied by a kick of a rock, then it sinking into the murky city waters, like an extremely discounted version of throwing a coin into a fountain for a wish. Hands in his pockets despite wearing gloves.

“God, Joe, don’t even. I’d choose to be stuck with you over my family any time, any day.”

Paper Cut notices Joe’s very subtle flinching. He must’ve tried to hide it from him. Paper Cut sighs regretfully as he looks at his feet; as he’s sitting on the backrest of the bench, his feet rest on the seat itself.

“...Sorry.”

It’s all he can really say, even though he doesn’t owe it to anyone. And Joe makes this clear in his response.

“It’s okay. Your family members are assholes anyway.”

He’s not factually wrong but it doesn’t make Paper Cut any less guilty. The latter exhales through his nostrils as the former moves to sit on the bench beside Paper Cut.

“Yeah but I’m going against your whole belief, aren’t I?”

Always love your family. That’s number two of Joe’s many street survival rules. Paper Cut admires Joe for his strong beliefs but that rule of his has always made him reluctant to talk about family around him. In a way, Paper Cut considers Joe lucky to even hold that kind of belief, despite everything that happened with him and his sister.

“Maybe less ‘going against’ and more ‘challenging’.”

This comment makes Paper Cut turn towards Joe. Luckily, he doesn’t have to wait long for an explanation.

“Your situation made me think about things.”

Joe simply stares at the water. It is as tainted as any body of water that lies in the middle of an equally tainted city. Yet Paper Cut is not as tainted, despite being part of such a murky family. He dwells on this for a little longer.

“Family… you always have to love your family, yeah. But your family already hates you for something you can’t control. That’s not fair to you.”

Paper Cut struggles to find the words to argue back. Joe leans back in his seat.

“So, uh, it’s understandable if you can’t love them back. If anything, I think it’s good for you that you don’t force yourself to love them.”

Paper Cut appreciates Joe for reconsidering one of his core principles because of him, he truly does, but–

“...That’s the thing, though.”

“Huh?”

Paper Cut begins to move and promptly jumps off the bench entirely. He stands still, gaze lost to the cityscape.

“I don’t force myself to love them… because I already do. I still do, kinda. And it hurts to miss the people that can’t even love you back like you do with them.”

Paper Cut is hunched over now with his hands clasped close to his chest, choking on unshed tears. Joe instantly gets up at this display but Paper Cut simply shakes his head to stop him from laying a hand on him.

“I… I can’t erase our history together. It’s not like I was never happy when I was with them… They did make me happy at some point. But then they threw me out like I was garbage.”

Paper Cut finds himself kneeling on the ground. His heart is aching.

“...I just wished they did it sooner.”

He breaks. The pavement beneath him soaks up his tears emphatically, the only solace it can provide him. Joe has his right hand on his back as support.

“I’m an arcanist, they’re not. So why? Why did they keep me around for so long? Because I was useful? Yet they thought I was a disgusting arcanist anyway.”

Joe locks him in a side embrace now. He doesn’t push him away and simply keeps sobbing.

Eventually, they both sit down on the pavement, despite the presence of a bench right behind them. Paper Cut doesn’t have the strength for such a mundane action as sitting on a bench like a normal person. He was never normal anyway.

They stay like that for a few minutes. Paper Cut sniffs as he pulls his knees to his chest, resting his hands and head on them.

“...Sorry again. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. We were just talking about the fucking nonexistent snow here, haha.”

Joe shakes his head at the self-deprecating laugh and brings Paper Cut in for a full hug this time. Paper Cut says nothing. He presses himself closer into Joe. He smells like love.

“It’s okay.” And that is all Joe has to say. Yet it is all Paper Cut needed to hear. Because it is okay. He’s here now with Joe, who has more than enough love to offer.

And - he definitely imagined it but - he can feel snow in his hair.

[kiwibirdlafayette]

I’ve keep thinking about one of your tags, specifically the “self fulfilling prophecy a display of a true role of an ianitee” and I would love for you to go into that!

if I may, I’d like to give my understanding of that and you can tell me how far off base it is.

With Redbeard it’s him thinking something will always go wrong around him whether he causes it or not. He chalks it up to his “natural unluckiness” and puts little effort to fox said issues. If we go to Capsize’s death, she gets threatened and he stands and does little to stop it. He crashes the first airship and brushes it off, he actively heavily drinks during the mission, like he for some of it causes his own misfortune.

For Jordan, it’s being alone within his faith. (This one I’m a bit shakey on cause I don’t think I have a good footing when it comes to his character.) He wants community but he does not find it with the pirates. Specifically with Capsize. Back to Capsizes death, he also doesn’t jump in to stop Furia from killing Capsize. Both Andor and Capsize end up getting imprisoned in-front of the group, although the reason why is different (to my memory) he doesn’t jump in to save either. He does find community with Andor though! But he’s now separated from him, so once again he’s alone.

Idk what Spark or Capsizes problem is, wish I did though. They probably have tons.

OH ok im sorry Im so late in responding Im gonna be honest. I completely forgot initially what I was thinking about when I made that tag but its finally come back to me ok. ok.

Basically what I think I was referring to in the concept of a 'self fufilling propechy; filling the role of an ianitee" is the kind of idea that champions of Ianite, or gods in general are tied to their deity in not just a follower kind of way, but like in a metaphysical manner- like where the principle of whomever they end up following are somewhat built into their characterization, and in the way worked into the fibers of their soul. Its present with the other gods/followers but its really interesting with the ianitees I think.

It may not necessarily be intentional or conscious on the part of the follower but essentially their morals, actions and the foundations of relationships are centered around what aspects the god stands for, and sort of act like a compass for them. So like in Capsize's case, I had interpreted Cat's post as like even though Capsize was born the "luckier" of the twins- aside from her name being that of a literal disaster- a lot of her actions to me take on a very heavy kine selflessness, putting herself at risk for like Red, doing things that would put her in a place of misfortune almost as a protective maneuver for others which I could almost call to be her fatal flaw. She has to be balanced in nature somehow to counter feeling like she's stolen Red's luck (from Cat's post, that line is driving me nuts in the best way), and that's how she does it.

And like, what you were saying with Jordan, his seeking of balance comes in surface level playing mediator between Tom and Tucker but like in a subconscious way (at least how i interpret it haha) its more got to do with yeah, like community. Jordan, as a character to me is very tied to the idea of home/closeness/familiarity, which ties into the lighthouse metaphor I like to cite between him and Tom (essay for another day before I go on yet another tangent), and his evolving relationship with the others over the course of the series. He, by nature is really drawn to carving his own path (i mean the man fully invents his own ass god) and has like an ambition that tends to isolate him from others (I haven't forgotten jokes in other SMPs about his house always being so far away from everyone else) but what he really craves, in needing to adhere to some kind of balance is closeness, a safe familiar place to rest his head, a lack of separation that he always ends up wanting to fully lean towards, but because of this balance thing- he can't have all of one or the other.

Spark I think follows a similar pattern to Jordan, and as a result as do Andor and Martha (albeit in different ways I'll try to speak on but I don't spend much time with their characters aside from the fact that especially in Ruxomar where Ianitees are kind of othered (cough queer metaphor, this is not an original thought but it makes so much sense) that to counter this oppression of their beliefs they too seek out community which is why Andor and Jordan get on so well.

Because Spark grew up with something different and we don't get much canoncially of him, its a little harder to analyze him, but if I had to give it a guess, I think his is moreso like he falls between two worlds in being the s/o of a literal goddess, that he feels an obligation to act as a mediator (as Jordan is), but rather between his two brothers-in-law, but instead between that of the immortal and mortal worlds, where like Capsize carries with him a protective nature to make them feel more in alignment. Essentially, in someway or another, giving agency and power to the mortal world and making the immortal world feel less distant and understandable/attuned to those who they rule. But its less a burden he chooses to carry, like a i must take control to bring this balance, and more a internal kind of responsibility to maintain his connections between both worlds, to keep himself together.

And Red, gods Red m8, I haven't dug too deep into him but I really like your take on him! Someone who I think is a really good example of how his unluckiness, rather than being something that unconsciously he wants to correct to find an internalized balance, instead has found a certain apathy to the notion that he was supposed to be the unlucky side of the twins, that i could almost say mans like found a neutral ground that way; sitting on a middle ground of having neither fortunate nor an unfortunate influence on the way things happen because either way he feels he'll only worsen it which. idk about you but Ouch That Hurts. Like he wants to strive for finding balance in having some type of influence of fortune, but its so out of reach he chooses instead to take a role of inaction

GAHHH theres so much brainrot that can come from this. I will be thinking about this forever. i hope i didnt fully just do the horribly misinterprets the characters LMAO any way. thank you for this

It eez what it eez TLDR; Ianitees come into the realm with an almost pre-determined alignment long before they consciously are aware of the goddess, a kind of self-fulflling that drives a lot of their emotional-moral compass in seeking a balance within them that gives them a role and purpose in the fabric of their characterization and relationships with others

[pechikka]

ok i have to dump my guardians of the video game pmmm AU somewhere. and im not making a sideblog for gotvg. anyways madoka magica spoilers implied below

continue is madoka.

i dont have everything figured out but continue was madoka in the sense that she used her wish to completely rewrite the laws of the universe and being deleted from the world in the process, and aaa was her homura in the sense that she's the only one who remembers the old world. in this one, the story of the past really WAS forgotten by everyone else. the universe itself has been made again into a more fair one

continue and aaa were friends for years, continue as a civilian who kyubey never persuaded into magical girlhood through his slimy pushiness because she was just interested in watching and studying aaa do her thing until she uncovers the true origin of witches and probably in part because of that aaa transforms and because she was already the single most absurdly powerful magical girl, as a witch she is a being of destruction on a massive scale. and so continue finally makes her wish

i havent nailed down the specifics of how it differs from madoka's wish, though it has more or less the same result of changing the system so magical girls fight against "wraiths" instead of turning into witches and fighting those. however as a result of her wish in specific aaa was never a magical girl in the new reality despite having all her memories intact.

continue leaves behind a daughter who, like madoka's little brother in canon, inexplicably remembers her. aaa takes her in the same as in the comic

like in pmmm canon per the movie, the incubators WOULD prefer the witch method if they found out it was a possibility since its more efficient for energy collection than having the girls fight wraiths. cheat somehow begins to uncover these principles with the tacit support of the incubators in her weird experiments. because continue unlike madoka is probably not actually personally purifying every single girl, it IS actually possible for cheat to manage to push other magical girls into despair hard enough to make them turn witch, possibly with some manner of interference thanks to the incubators. and she does this for funsies because shes Like That

patch has been her longest standing chew toy. she never gives in no matter how cheat tries to drive her to the depths of misery and this makes cheat obsessed with seeing what kind of witch will bloom from that perfect and determined magical girl who has never given in to despair

patch used to be a fragile, sickly girl from a remote town whose wish was to become strong enough to change things for the better, but in typical pmmm fashion it went horribly wrong. like kyoko's backstory levels of wrong, her hometown is most likely gone and even if not she was definitely run out of town. shes been hopping from town to town hunting wraiths and leading slapdash teams of magical girls into battle (she met cheat in one of these occassions unluckily for her)

publi is a girl who loved magical girls and dreamed of becoming a hero of justice, who one day gets trapped in a witch's labyrint (from a grief seed planted by cheat) and is rescued by a girl with bright red hair. she INMEDIATELY wants to become a magical girl too!! patch begrudgingly runs her through the basics and takes her along on a few small wraith hunts to show her the ropes but publi hasnt yet made a contract because she hasnt decided on what to wish for.

[theunmappedstar]

I dare you to give some random badboy au headcanons

so, i’m sorry, but “random headcanons” turned into “here’s the beginning of highschool badboy au plot that i have stuck in my head”... so... enjoy.

Sophie meets them because she joins Foxfire’s photography class as an elective. She has a group assignment that she has to complete, which requires her to take some photography scavenger hunt. She’s given a piece of paper with a list of different prompts she has to use to take pictures. (She’s mostly intrigued by the “street photography” bullet point).

Sophie gets paired up with Biana. They make quick friends and decide to divvy up the work - but this is also how Sophie learns about the boys.

She’d heard a little about them prior, but Sophie tended to only dip her toe into the gossip sparingly, so she doesn’t know exactly what’s up with these dudes

Sophie finds out that Biana is related to Fitz. Biana’s actually a real chatterbox when it comes to her family, so over the next week Sophie’s filled in on the majority of the timeline. (Also, the fact that everyone seemed to know of it, but her made Sophie feel really out of the loop and unpopular, but.)

The Vackers are a very wealthy and influential family. Biana’s parents naturally expected the most of their kids. Unfortunately, that only ended up dividing them. The three siblings weren’t very close when they were younger, but at least they talked - they barely interact normally anymore, according to Biana, focusing solely on their own lives and work. Alvar’s long since graduated, but Fitz and Biana are still held to their parent’s high expectations; they feel pressured to somehow reach above Alvar’s already-tremendous feats. Biana says even though it was rough, she never really saw it as a competition like her two brothers did. But that doesn’t mean she liked it, either.

Anyway, Fitz got so fed up with it and after a blowout, he managed to fall into what the Vacker parents love to call the “wrong crowd.”

The “wrong crowd” happens to be two kids - one from Foxfire Academy and one from a neighboring not-so-pristine school called Exillium.

Sophie’s interested as to who the two kids are, naturally, so she asks.

She almost immediately regrets that decision because as it would turn out, she knows those two kids.

Or, at least, she used to.

The first, Keefe Sencen, was surrounded by a lot of talk in her grade because of how he’d managed to skip a year when he was younger - and now Sophie finds that he’s apparently close to having to retake a year, since his grades have started to slip. She’d only seen him a couple times in elementary and had been paired with him for projects a staggering record of two times, but that didn’t mean he was one she would forget. (Those two group projects had been hell for her. He’d messed around with her so much and made her so frustrated and flustered and urg she hadn’t known how to act around a boy so obnoxious-but-cute).

Sophie doesn’t know if she’s surprised or not to find out that he managed to flip into the resident bad boy

The second one, Tam Song, happened to be a childhood friend (or she assumed that was the same Tam Song. There couldn’t be that many Tam Songs in the world, right?). She’d had a couple playdates with him before his parents had moved him and his twin sister away. She found out years later from her parents that the Songs had been having financial troubles and could no longer afford to be in the neighborhood/attend the academy

Sophie is baffled that the three managed to get together and start a reputation for themselves, no less

Sophie’s also baffled that they’re so well-known and yet she hadn’t really heard a thing about them; seriously, how unpopular was she?

When she relays the info to Dex and Marella at lunch, they tease Sophie that they’ve been waiting for it to hit her for years.

“...Why do you think we sit alone?” Dex asks.

Honestly, Sophie never really bothered to think about it. “I don’t know.”

Marella just snort-giggles. “Listen, you’re really smart, Sophie: you could build an entire AI system if you put your mind to it. But sometimes you lack a little thing called common sense.”

She doesn’t know whether to be offended or flattered.

She chooses to be flattered.

In the following days, Biana and Sophie get to checking off the to-do list for the assignment. Sophie’s first one requires her to take pictures of the interior of the school. She knows full well she could use her press pass to take pictures of the empty hallways during school, but that would require setting a time up with teachers, which would mean talking to teachers, which required basic social interaction... which.... was not very appealing and definitely not on Sophie’s list of Things I Want To Do.

She instead decides to stay after school for half an hour and take pictures.

She’s meandering around, snapping pictures here and there, trying to find out which angles would make the pictures less boring when she’s startled by a voice.

Sophie nearly drops the camera and whirls to find a boy sprawled across the bench outside the principle’s office. It takes her a moment to recognize him, but it eventually floods her brain.

Surprise, surprise - it’s Keefe Sencen.

He’s changed a lot since she last saw him. Granted, she last saw him when they were, like, six, but she lets herself be shocked.

Keefe’s got the whole getup. Ripped jeans, black tee, jet-black leather jacket... And he wears curiously, Sophie notices, an abundance of chains. Specifically, those rapper chains that dangle around your neck.

Sophie doesn’t realize that he’s called for her until he does it again. He’s asking what she’s up to, walking around with a camera like that after school.

She doesn’t know why, but “Yearbook” stumbles out.

She is not in Yearbook. She’s in Photography - close, but not quite it.

Keefe seems to feed off of her being flustered. It looks like he seriously enjoys it. he goes on to ask her what she’s got to take pictures of

She can’t really speak when he stands, hands shoved in his pockets, looking like that, so she just... hands the list over to him.

He quirks a brow and muses about the student/faculty box that has yet to be checked and he asks why she’s saved that one, since she’s been at school all day.

“Well, I... don’t really know how to casually approach someone and ask for a picture.”

It’s true. Everyone’s moving so fast and about their day during school hours and it’s especially hard to catch anybody after school.

Keefe just shrugs. “Then, you don’t have to.”

It takes her a second to realize what he means. He’s offering to let her take a picture of two of him.

It seems like a good idea. He’s right there and she can get it done and over with, but something about lifting the camera and snapping some shots of Keefe Sencen... Having to go home and know that she has access to pictures of him that she herself got to take...

He seems untouchable, is the thing. It seems like this is something that shouldn’t be happening - like he should have shooed her off like she was some human scum. It seems like they’re on two different levels. She’s the weird kid nobody really strives to talk to and he’s the boy that everyone’s terrified and annoyed (but secretly impressed) of.

“Oh, you don’t have to-”

Keefe interrupts her to assure her he doesn’t mind. He does ask if it sounds a little too self-centered, though, the way he just offered himself up for grabs.

Sophie’s not really listening because she’s too mesmerized by him combing his hands through his hair.

She kinda just blinks and mumbles some incoherent reply while trying to set the camera up. Her hands are super shaky and Keefe notices. Sophie stiffens when he outstretches a hand and asks if he can see the camera

“Um,” she starts, forcing herself to look at him, “I don’t think I should. I don’t own this and if it gets damaged-”

“Relax,” he murmurs. He retracts his hand instantly. “I was just asking. I took photography - I’m interested what camera they’ve given you. It looks different from the one I used; which seriously sucked, by the way.”

He pauses for a second to look her up and down. It makes her squirm, feeling on fire.

“And the pictures don’t have to be of me, right? They can be of students, if I’m remembering the guidelines correctly.” He waves the paper in his hands before reaching out to give it back to her. “And you, Miss...”

When Sophie recognizes he’s asking for her name, she blushes. “Sophie.” She plucks the paper from his hand.

He gives a swirling hand gesture, like he’s prodding for more.

“Foster,” she contends.

He nods, satisfied once he has her last name. “Foster,” he repeats, then continues, “Well, you’re a student, if I do say so myself. So, that means...” He lifts up his hands, pretending like he’s holding an imaginary camera. He pretends to adjust the lens and focus on her, finger hovering over the imaginary button that would take the imaginary picture.

He smirks. “Need a smile there, Foster,” he beckons.

She’s pretty sure she can’t get any redder. “I’m not really photogenic,” she argues, reaching forward to beckon his fake camera down.

He relents and let’s his hands drop, but his smirk remains. “Sure.”

She doesn’t really know what to say after that, so she hands him the camera with a mumble. Keefe eagerly takes it in his hands (which makes her notice the rings he has littered on his fingers) and he starts flipping and fiddling.

He says some random model name to her which she doesn’t really pay attention to. She only snaps up when his meddling ends and he asks, “Hey, by the way, how’ve the group projects been going?”

His smile seems more tender. More reminiscent. There’s a teasing lilt to his voice, which makes Sophie realize he remembers her. And, in turn, he remembers those god-awful projects they were forced to endure together.

She’s pretty sure she turns redder than her rosy skirt. “You remember that?” she mumbles.

Keefe chuckles. “Remember? Can’t really forget.” He taps his temple. “Also, anything that involves a cute girl is immediately filed to the front of my brain.”

Sophie’s so struck by the compliment that she nearly grazes over his first fact. How had she managed to forget he had a photographic memory just like her?

She doesn’t quite know how to respond, but she manages to pull a smile and mumble something about needing to get to work if she wants to finish the project. Surprisingly, Keefe just smiles back and offers her the camera. She makes sure not to graze too much of his skin as she takes the camera from his hands, shaking. She thanks him and turns to bolt away as fast as her legs can carry her (because she knows she’s on fire and she knows he can see it and oh god-) when his voice slows her down.

“I’m serious about that picture thing, Foster. If you need any help, I’ve got time.”

She stops in the hallway to look at him. Sophie raises a slow eyebrow and gestures to the office. Her hand is unsteady, but she’s proud when her voice doesn’t shake. “You seem pretty busy to me.”

Keefe laughs. “Nah, this is normal. But I can find a way to make some time for you.”

Sophie’s sure he says something more along the line of, “All you need to do is ask,” but she’s pretty sure the entire world has become a blur. in a flash she’s said her goodbye and she’s speed walking out to Dex’s car (he offered to drive her home after school, that day. He does it whenever he has time, actually. They live in the same neighborhood, which is pretty convenient, given they’re best friends and adoptive cousins).

Dex can see she’s off her game, but he doesn’t delve into it. The car ride home is pretty quiet.

Also when Biana and Sophie see each other in class the following day, it’s pretty hard for Sophie to come up with an excuse as to why she doesn’t have that many photos. She promises that she’ll stay after school again to try and make them up.

She does.

And that’s when she meets Fitz.

Sophie doesn’t really know how it happened. She avoided the area she’d seen Keefe in at all costs, snapping pictures literally anywhere else she could find, but somehow she wound up outside on the curb. And somehow she ended up wandering through the mostly-empty parking lot, snapping pictures of the parking spaces that the seniors had decorated (every year the graduating class got to customize their parking spot with spray paint). And wandering through the parking lot taking pictures led to her spotting a few sleek bikes.

In hindsight, Sophie thinks she finally understands what Marella meant by “you’re smart but you have no common sense,” because she walks up to the bikes. They’re against the curbside parking spaces, so Sophie steps up on the sidewalk and begins observing the shiny vehicles.

She’s never really been keen on motorcycles (the idea of getting one kind of terrifies her) but she has to admit that they look good.

And Sophie, lacking that beautiful common sense, snaps a picture.

She barely holds back the squeak when someone behind her asks what she’s up to. Sophie turns around to meet two boys in leather jackets. They’ve both got dark heads of hair, but one is noticeably lighter. And the darkest sported silver-dyed bangs.

She’s pretty sure her insides shrivel. It’s them, there’s no denying. Her photographic memory compares Tam’s aged features with the ones from his youth, seeing how his soft face had turned to hard-and-handsome lines. And she can see the resemblance to Biana in Fitz’s equally-charming face.

(Also, the more that she thought about it, she’d actually been put against Fitz during one of the stupid elementary spelling bees. She severely prayed he didn’t remember her as spelling bee girl.)

“Sorry,” she apologizes sheepishly. She lifts the camera. “Photography. I can delete it.”

She should have asked before doing that. She seriously should have asked. She feels like she’s been caught and she’s considering turning tail and running when they shrug and tell her it’s fine. She’s pretty sure she’s dreaming when she gets asked if she at least liked the bikes or if it was just for the assignment.

She says it was for the assignment, but she does like them.

Fitz smiles at her for the first time and Sophie’s legs become jello. 

Shit, how can someone look that nice while smiling?

But it doesn’t last too long because Tam asks who she is and where he’s seen her before. His head is tilted at her, dangly earrings twirling with the motion. Sophie can tell he does recognize her, at least a bit. All eyes are on her, so she feels a bit squirmy mentioning how she knows Tam, but once she does, his eyes light up and his eyebrows launch.

“Oh, Sophie. Shit.”

“Yeah,” she agrees. “Shit.”

Years later, it looks impossible to imagine that they’d ever been friends. They were so... different from each other, now.

They all start making semi-awkward conversation, discussing the school year and Sophie’s photography anything random they can come up with when Keefe rolls out of the school.

“Foster?”

She waves. “Oh, um. Hey.”

Keefe reaches his friends and his eyebrows crunch. He asks if they know her. Tam shrugs and says they knew each other when they were little, but they haven’t seen one another in years. Fitz admits Biana’s mentioned a Foster girl, but he doesn’t know her (Sophie’s pretty sure she’s dead. She didn’t know Biana talked about her at the house, even if it was something like measly dinner small talk.)

Keefe turns and grins at her, seeing the camera in her hand. “Yearbook again?”

She flushes. “Photography, actually.” Seeing his confusion, she continues, “I don’t know why I said Yearbook, yesterday. I’m in Photography, not Yearbook.”

Shockingly, Keefe just snorts. He muses that she’s something else before waltzing over and outstretching his hand. Sophie hands him the paper chock-full of guidelines again. Keefe starts muttering that she has a lot more crossed off than yesterday.

“You’ve still got a bit to go,” he points out.

Sophie just kinda nods. She’s mostly focusing on not letting her knees buckle in front of all of them. Her hands on the camera are sweating. It’s weird, how she’s managed to get caught in this situation. Everyone steers clear of these three, she knows, but now she’s somehow stuck in normal conversation with them. About photography, no less.

Keefe spots the street photography point and hums. He points to it, showing her the paper. “That seems interesting.” He meets her eyes. “Gonna take me up on my offer, yet, Foster?”

She swallows. “Oh, uh, street photography isn’t here, it’s-”

“On the street,” Keefe agrees, handing her back the paper. He shares one glance with his friends before meandering to his bike, slinging his leg over the seat.

Tam huffs a short laugh, grinning like he understands before he goes to hop on his own ride. Fitz is the last one behind, hands shoved in his pockets, just standing and smiling in amusement.

“You’re free, aren’t you?” Keefe implores. “We can make it quick. Drop you off back here - or wherever.”

Sophie chews on her lip. It is a tempting offer. She doesn’t really have a ride into the city planned, so it seems like the perfect opportunity. One quick ride, a few pictures, and she can leave. But that also means getting on a motorcycle. Which. . . kind of terrifies her.

“One ride, Foster,” Keefe promises, seeing the way she’s staring at the bike. “Does fifteen minutes sound good?”

Fifteen minutes is definitely enough time for her to get in a crash. Fifteen minutes is also definitely enough time for them to murder someone, but Sophie tries hard not to think about that.

Especially not when Keefe shrugs off his jacket and tosses it to her. Sophie catches it with a gasp, thankful that she doesn’t drop the camera. “Um,” she starts.

She cuts herself off when Fitz goes to his bike and pops open a back storage compartment. He snatches out a spare helmet, then waltzes back up onto the sidewalk next to her, reaching out his to trade the camera for the helmet.

Sophie swallows.

Seeing how nervous she is, he smiles, making a short nudge with his chin in the direction of the bike. “It’s up to you,” he promises.

“You won’t get hurt,” Keefe also assures. “You’ve got jeans on. And you wear that jacket and the helmet, you’ll be fine.”

She doesn’t like the fact that she has to take those precautionary measures in the first place. But, she guesses it’s just what one has to do. It’s like wearing a seatbelt in a car. This is the motorcycle’s seatbelt.

Sophie hands Fitz the camera and takes the helmet. She slips on the jacket, ignoring the heat that runs through her body at how nice it feels - and how Keefe looks at her.

Sophie clears her throat and puts the helmet on. Her fingers fumble horribly with the straps around her chin and no matter how much she tugs, she can’t get it right. Fitz has to come back over and help her, laughing gently. He narrates to her how to do it as he cinches it up for her with diligent fingers, smiling.

Sophie, however, is anything but smiling when he pulls away. There’s only one step left - to get on that bike with him, hold on tight to his waist, and pray that they don’t take her to some secondary location.

Sophie makes sure to look him in the eyes to know she’s serious. “You kill me, I kill you.”

Fitz chuckles. “Noted.”

[spinninglilies]

why six of crows matters to me

so i first wrote this as an essay for an english prelim and then posted it on reddit and now im here because holY FUCK I LOVE SIX OF CROWS OKAY THEY ARE MY ABSOLUTE SOUL (please note that this in essay format bc i, a mess, must still pass)

_

As a child, I waded through the flood of children’s literature my parents introduced me too. Trips to Narnia, Hogwarts, and even to the bone-cold attic of the Little Princess - my days were filled with the oft-yellowed pages of classics as I immersed myself in multitudes of worlds. Yet, I never seemed to find that “perfect” book. Nancy Drew and her mysteries intrigued me, the trials and tribulations of Meg, Jo, Beth and Amy enthralled me, Totto-chan’s charming everyday life fascinated me - but they were never quite enough. Somehow, my beloved novels, which had quite satisfied the young me, seemed just a bit lacking to my teenage self. Of course, it was not as though they had changed - rather it was my taste which had evolved. So I began my hunt for the “perfect” book.

And I found it where I least expected it. The book had the loveliest cover - a shadowy representation of a crow swooping down over a city, and thus flinging aside the old adage of ‘not judging a book by its cover’, I picked up the book - Six of Crows. At most, I thought, it would be another predictable young adult romance novel that I would soon forget.

It was so much more.

Six of Crows presents itself as a thriller heist, a high stakes challenge for six teenagers in need of a lot of money. Sounds simple, no? In reality, the book surpasses this perfunctory summary and changed my perspective of morality, acceptance, and the role of diversity in fiction and reality.

Firstly, Six of Crows demonstrated to me that a diverse cast is not so much a challenge as a choice. Too often, it seems, are books lacking in diversity, usually paired with a litany of apologies from the not-that-apologetic author. “I cannot represent a race that I am not!”, “the character does not need to be *insert minority*”, or, the favourite, “I do have diversity! Look at token-character-one!”. It happens so often that we turn a blind eye, and so the vicious cycle continues. Six of Crows, however, shatters this passive tokenism. Although the author, Leigh Bardugo, is of Caucasian descent, she actively creates characters from diverse backgrounds beyond differing social classes. For example, Inej, a main character in the novel, is shown to be a Suli, a brown-skinned minority group within the novel that travel around as performers, comparable to gypsies. This cultural background plays an active part in her characterisation - she frequently quotes traditional proverbs such as “the heart is an arrow ; it demands to fly true”, and is at one point shown to be decisively against meeting the representatives of her close friend, Nina’s, country, due to a long-standing history of oppression faced by the Sulis at the hands of Nina’s country. Inej’s depiction as a strong independent young woman who has been shaped by the culture she grew up in is a strong statement about the value of diverse representation, as we, the audience, can thus see situations within the novel from a different point of view, depending on cultural context and its significance to the character. By including Inej, as well as other notable characters of different racial backgrounds and cultures, Leigh Bardugo makes a point that inclusion must be a choice made by the author, and a reflection of our world’s increasingly diverse society. After reading this book, and that scene in particular, I was inadvertently forced to reflect on how my own point of view as a member of a majority race in Singapore has shaped how I see various situations, and this further spurred me to include a more diverse cast in my own writing.

Next, Leigh Bardugo crafted characters that do not conform to the regular good-or-bad standards. How typical it is to see the morally upright Chosen One clash against the irrevocably evil Great Big Villain? Far too much, in my opinion. Characters such as Kaz, who epitomise ruthlessness and dubious moral conduct, or Matthais, who participated in genocidal crimes out of his own misplaced moral beliefs, characters who have done so much wrong and yet are so endearingly likeable, challenged me to regard humans beyond the simple boundaries of good and evil, and delve deeper into complex motivations and personal principles. The everyday villain is not the cackling dark-robed sorceress, nor are our heroes all knights in shining armour. Rather, they are like all people, with their own ideals that span beyond the common expectations of black-and-white virtues. Leigh Bardugo manages to convey this depth of humanity within her characters, inspiring me to look beyond what we are nominally presented with, and further into the variations and deviations of the human psyche.

Lastly, Six of Crows represents real-world issues in a fantastical context, forcing me to alter my perspective. Characters in Six of Crows suffer through slavery and genocide, described in such vivid detail that one wonders where she takes her inspiration from. The answer, however, stares us right in our faces. Atrocities happen around us on a daily basis, ranging from the obvious sufferings of the Rwanda people, to the hushed-up agony faced by illegal immigrants detained by ICE in America, yet we remain blind to them, complicit in their torment in our blissful obliviousness. Reading about such things in horrific and vivid detail in the book made me realise that so much more was happening beyond the pages of fiction, and on a much larger scale. This realisation was the first step of many in acknowledging the real world terror that the book replicates, and after that acknowledgement, looking further into what actions I can take, forever altering my world view.

In conclusion, Six of Crows is the book which had the greatest impact on me because it triggered my transition from a young child with a simplistic and idealistic world view, to a young woman with evolving perspectives, who can see the world as a diverse, complex place. I will always be fond of my childhood classics, but Six of Crows is the book which I will always credit for the strong impact it had on me, for it completely challenged and changed my outlook.