#i feel so fucking toxic
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did i fix it
#shin soukoku#sskk#akuatsu#bsd#bungou stray dogs#bsd spoilers#ryuunosuke akutagawa#akutagawa ryuunosuke#bsd fanart#fanart#my art#bsd season 5#bsd season five#bungou stray dogs season 5#bsd anime#bones doesn't like it when akutagawa has feelings i think#i thought akutagawa was the epitome of toxic masculinity but turns out bones is worse#im like fucked up abt this because the rest of the episode was so good and the first two eps were good too so im like#did they just make a good season and only fuck up the hero vs criminal arc#because i will fucking riot
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she says he won't let her get a dog, which is fine, because they're in an apartment, and that's the kind of thing people say about their partners. he won't let me get a dog. and you're at a dinner party and you tilt your head a little to the side just like that dog he won't let her get, because is this the thing that's going to upset you? you don't know every corner of their relationship, she could be joking, they could have had so many healthy conversations about the dog, right, and maybe she's not letting herself get the dog because of money and time and whatever. but, like, she did say let
and she wants to move away from his hometown and he wants to stay and then he tells you with a wink and a conspiratorial stage whisper don't worry i'll convince her and she laughs about it - so clearly this is something they laugh about. but you do just stand there and stare at him like what the fuck, man. you can't say what you want to say which is why do you get the final say on everything because they're both obviously aware of the other person's stance on this and have obviously had private conversations about it and what are you going to do about it except make a scene and then he'll be mad at you and call you one of those bitches behind your back and she'll cut you off, which is a loss that doesn't feel worth it just because he makes you a little skeeved out every 3rd comment
and they both agree he just isn't the type to get flowers which is fine because everyone shows love differently, and are you really gonna judge someone based on their sense of individual relationship responsibility? maybe he's constantly cleaning her car and writing her poems and making her furniture or something. maybe she doesn't even like flowers and this is perfect, actually. and no you couldn't date him, obviously, ew; but like, she tells you she's happy. you almost send her a tiktok that says don't be 25 and the cool girl that doesn't need anything, you'll hate not getting flowers at 30, but that's like, starting drama & you shouldn't start drama needlessly.
and you're a little older than her but not so much older you can pull the whole trust me on this one babe thing and besides that wouldn't have worked anyway (when does it ever) and besides you have trauma so you and your therapist both agree that you're always looking for a problem even when there isn't one. and you tell yourself that just because you see them for 15 minutes every month does not mean you can identify every single red flag based on a single shitty half-joking(?) comment
and besides, what are you going to do? she says i actually wanted another stand mixer but thankfully he stops me when i'm about to spend too much money and you're standing there like are you okay? is this normal? is this just something people say? and again - what are you going to do?
to your therapist you try to language it - it's not, like, any of my business. but sometimes, doesn't it feel like - you should do something. there's got to be something, right? you've tried dropping little hints but they sail right through and you've tried having a single serious conversation and she got upset because why does it matter to you, yes it's different but we're happy, it doesn't need to make sense to you and you're like. really unwilling to push a boundary about it anymore; because the truth is that you know logically it shouldn't matter to you, as long as both parties are happy.
and besides, you've been wrong before. it's just... like, every time you see them both, something else happens, some kind of shiver down your spine like do you even hear each other when you talk. it's their strange, bickering orbit. just the way he's on his phone through dinner or watching sports instead of helping in the kitchen or, fuck, another one of these little throwaway comments he makes about we'll see about that, babe. she laughs when he calls her passions stupid shit and meanwhile she gets him tickets to see the knicks and he tells you well at least she's smart about something and still! it's none of your business.
you say get the dog anyway and she laughs. like, this is is you being funny. and not you saying - no really. get the dog. get the dog and get out of here. pack up and start running.
#this btw is not including toxic friendships this is legit just something ive experienced MANY times now#writeblr#you ever have a friend in one of those relationships where ur like#u don't HATE their partner explicitly#but ur like. what the fuck y'all#like the weird part of being an adult is that you can't be like . CERTAIN their relationship is toxic#and also if u move too fast or push too hard u can hurt someone who is already in a scary situation so you just are like#frozen there. laughing awkwardly. saying ''haha..... yeah..... couldn't be me....''#and like u can't tell - is this banter or does he actually think like. he's better than her.#all you can do is be there for your friend and hope they wake up to it#or ... that it really IS good#and it's just odd to you#tbh btw id rather have my friends feel safe coming to me if they have a concern about my relationship#like yes it's not ur business but it also IS bc im making u hang out with them and also ur my friend#it's a weird thing to experience as an adult bc it is such a blurry line and when u spend time#around couples that aren't like ACTUALLY ur friends but instead ''extended friend circle'' ur like#.... i don't know y'all well enough and he just called you a cow. and ur okay with that . and i don't know how to respond.#so ur like :) okay. um. go to couple's counselling i think#but also you are NOT supposed to pass judgement so it's like.... this weird limbo of feeling like you SHOULD say something#but knowing you CANNOT#idk that there's a way to resolve it!!!!!!!! it's probably a different approach person to person#edited my tags bc tumblr's new system fucked em up#PS EDIT: btw i should have said:#the pronouns in this can work in any and every direction. every gender and every sexuality and every#type of relationship tbh. even non-romantic relationships where ur like ''what do u mean ur bff calls u stupid''
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consumed by the inevitable
#messyr#you know- I kept thinking: One day. The cage will be open but I feel like I'll stay. Because if I run- I'd wind up dead from their bullet#so I just- tend to- follow as much as I want to rebel and put sense into this fuckass household. I hate seeing the others in pain as well#and it hurts more that it feels like I can NEVER be the one to break this cycle of abuse- when I knew from the start- when I knew too much#but here I am ending up like the rest of them- helpless and unable to do jackshit about the situation. I cant say or do anything at all!#I dont want to end up like them- if anything I want to BREATHE- i want all of us to LIVE without this pain that has existed for generations#I want to help so bad no matter how much I know I am unloved.#no matter how much hate i carry- no matter how much burden- Underneath it all- I'm devoted to them- that's how fucked up I am#i know i'll never be enough. I know how often I think of death and wish it.#But I have a dream to achieve and I am not planning to die until I reach it. Not yet. If pain is where I strive best then so be it.#doodle#vent art#artists on tumblr#bpd#toxic behavior#learned helplessness
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bro he does NOT want to hear you practice your villain monologue
#jaceporter#fantasy high#fhjy#fhjy spoilers#fh spoilers#porter cliffbreaker#jace stardiamond#starbreaker#see starbreaker sounds so cool i think it might be TOO cool for them#the worst coworker situationship in all the realms#obsessed with all possible dynamics between these two with what we know#literal hubris and his on-call spell slots#teacher's lounge toxic yaois go crazy#At a certain point all-consuming and self-cannibalistic conquest and love becomes one in the same on the path to divine ascension 🤷♀️#whether u throw any genuine feelings in the mix or its all transactional and messy im eating it with both hands#i do love a jace that hates his life tho#like i want this Bad Thing that has happened to exacerbate all of his worst qualities#I Jace to have been everything comes easy.Never has to teach. then gets fucking pulled into Porter's orbit Get Ready To Clock In Magic Boy
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Genuinely Williams switching Logan out for Franco feels personal and petty. I haven’t been following f2 super closely this year but from what I’ve seen Franco is just.. fine? I mean, he’s good, but he’s not Kimi or Paul. To replace Logan at this point would only make sense if they swapped him for someone with loads more experience, someone more likely to score points. At this point they’re swapping him for someone who’s probably gonna have his same level of performance, if not worse. It just feels almost petty? It’s like a weirdly personal move and it just makes me think about all of the reports of JV’s alleged mistreatment and silent treatment towards Logan.
#I don’t know!!! it just feels weird!!#like… franco is probably gonna be just as bad bc it’s his FIRST TIME#I’m glad Logan’s out purely bc the environment seemed so toxic#but wow#wild move#it just doesn’t make sense to me#anyway#FUCK James vowles#I hope franco does well for his sake#this just feels bad#but#i really really hope Franco does well bc I do like him from what I’ve seen.#f1#formula 1#f1blr#formula one#williams what the fuck#williams formula 1#williams racing#williams f1#james vowles#ls2#logan sargeant
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Words Collide
[First] Prev <--> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#jiang fengmian#yu ziyuan#wei wuxian#jiang cheng#Almost axed this comic but then I remembered I cut the previous argument between them and I guess they can have this.#and by 'this' I mean their toxic arranged marriage verbal battles.#As I previously mentioned in a comic I have chosen to see them as mlm and wlw in an unfulfilled relationship.#The yearning is for companionship. I think they do care for each other it's just something deeply complicated. And bitter.#I truly feel for JC and WWX in this scene because while it's implied YZY really pushes the limit...it's apparent this isn't new.#And it's so petty! Anyone who lived through a parent pitting you against a sibling can tell you that this stuff messed them up#regardless of what side you were on (the golden one or the fuck up).#It doesn't matter what is said. It matters that it was said at all. That you can't shake the concept once it was spoken.#The Jiang household is so much more miserable the deeper you examine what's going on and how they cope with it.#Knowing that a parent does not like you is just awful. I wish everyone who's been through it all the best. You didn't deserve that.#Next update is back to the jokes! Remember jokes? It jingled merrily...How I miss the sound of those bells...
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Rook: I'm really worried about Davrin and Lucanis, they keep arguing with one another... Its very bad Varric, what if it effects them in battle?
Varric, remembering that one time Fenris broke Ander's nose then took a knife in the back for him in the same night: I'm sure they'll be fine kid. They're barely even arguing if you ask me
#dragon age#dav spoilers#sorry its so funny to me#varric hearing the veilguard talk about their problems like adults instead of fucking/drinking/fighting their way out of it:#'wow my kirkwall friends really were fucked up losers huh:#'* whoops#i wish veilguard cast was a little bit toxic... i need them to be mean#lucanis should hate me so much more for choosing minrathous over treviso#i was counting on the yummy character drama...#he does trust rook a little bit less cause of it though so ill take that#i do feel bad about treviso im already planning a crow rook to save it and romance lucanis#sorry to compare these two to fenris and anders again i just think its funny#they should let me stick anders in the middle of the lighthouse#his sheer inability to cope with shit in a healthy way would be like setting off another bomb#someone tries to applogize and anders starts on his Bullshit you know what I'm talking about#can you guys tell i miss him. hes so bad at coping babygirl come back to me...#crow rambles
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Madoka is the promise you won't turn from a child, full of hopes and dreams and the wish to save the world, into a bitter adult who just wants to hurt others and ruin people's lives
Madoka promised to be there for you to remind you of the person you wanted to be and to stop you from becoming what you sought to destroy
Madoka made that promise and became the very embodiment of it
#Moon posting#Feeling emotional about Madoka Magica all out of the blue and I'm making it your problem#IDK I saw a video in my YT reccs ranking Doremi toys and I really enjoyed it (sadly can't remember who it was)#So I went to check what other content the person had made and they had recently-ish done a blind reaction to Madoka#Didn't watch the whole thing just The Good Shit at like double speed (it was completely uncut and I wasn't in the mood for a full rewatch)#And god. The way the fucking ending to this series still makes me fucking sob like a baby EVEN WHEN WATCHING AT DOUBLE SPEED#I dunno what to tell you I really like that series. Like I just do. Madoka is Good Actually#IDK I feel like everyone has a lot of Opinions about the series and all I can say is that y'all are wrong and don't understand it#MADOKA ISN'T ABOUT BEING EDGY GRIMDARK TORTURE PORN!!! IT'S ABOUT HOPE!! AND DREAMS!! AND NOT GIVING UP!!#Y'all remember that post about how sometimes if you need to imagine Naruto encouraging you to help you get out of bed and brush your teeth#Then you imagine that dattebayo#And that is literally what Madoka is.#Except instead of self-care Madoka is there to stop you from being a toxic little dickweed and be nice to others#Sometimes you need to stop and ask: Would Madoka do that? Would Madoka say that? Would she be proud of me right now?#Don't ask me why I'm posting this it is 5 am I should be in bed man
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Thoughts were being thunk
#despicable me#minions#scarlet overkill#queen elizabeth ii#LMAOOO TAGGING THAT FEELS CRAZY#Did you know Scarlet calls Lizzie a pale glass of water in the movie#Scarlet while also being evil Girlboss was so crushing on Lizzie#I think of Minions Lizzie as a separate entity than the real thing#uhhh#fuck the monarchy#scarlet takes that literally#anyways they should’ve kissed or something#toxic yuri#art#what’s their ship name#scarliz?#scarlizzie is taken apparently#evil queen?#or keep it short and impactful#tyrant
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main takeaway from certain fan reactions to the finale is this:
the final scene with ankarna was so meaningful to the bad kids' arcs and how they made peace with being wronged by people they loved, and if all you can focus on is that the rat grinders didn't get much screentime, then you don't love dimension20 and you don't love this world: you want to be playing your own hs themed dnd campaign and you're mad the oc versions of the rat grinders you made up in your head acted ooc. these are not your characters and this is not their story.
#sorry but it made me so mad after seeing that scene and the epilogues of tbks progressing on their journey to healing#that all anyone cared about was the fucking rat grinders not getting a steven universe moment to explain how trying to end the world was ok#brennan went out of his way to point out klck CHOSE rage over her friends + abused her party for her own selfish agenda and ppl are mad#that tbks didnt want to revive her. where was this outcry for penelope everpetal who was arguably more manipulated and is also in HELL#i keep harping on that point but its such an obvious comparison i feel insane that these ppl dont get it#ppl are even trying to argue against lucy's own words ab being upset her friend MURDERED her bc they flattened her to their uwu soft girl#like lucy was never a doormat. she was braver than all of them. why would she be unconditionally forgiving at her party for being evil#sorry ur toxic yuri ship sucked. klck didnt care she died. the real yuri shouldve been yolanda and zara. if u even care#actually im more annoyed we didnt some quick zara resolution but ppl are too hung up on trgs to notice#dimension 20#fantasy high junior year#fhjy#fhjy spoilers#fhjy discourse#i guess
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I just saw the video of Seunghan walking past the rows and rows of funeral wreaths sent for him in front of the SM building. I hope every single person responsible for that is haunted by it for the rest of their lives and considers seeking therapy. Did they forget two SM idols committed suicide. This is so cruel and I hate that this is the state of KPOP in 2024. And over a fucking cigarette? And dating? I'll never get over this whole situation.
#riize#seunghan#i've been in kpop for more than ten years#it's always been awful#but i've never seen toxic fandom *win* this much before#this behaviour should never be rewarded#so fuck SM for this#i hate that company so much#can you imagine waking up and being like LOL GONNA SPEND MONEY TO MAKE A 21 YO GUY FEEL LIKE DYING LOLOLOLOL THIS IS HILARIOUS#seek therapy#my god
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R.I.P. Achievement Hunter
2008 - 2023
It was fun while it lasted.
#achievement hunter#gavin free#michael jones#jeremy dooley#alfredo diaz#trevor collins#matt bragg#lindsay jones#geoff ramsey#jack pattillo#fucking tumblr ate my first post so fuck you tumblr#i know i have not been active in the fandom for awhile and this honestly feels like it's been a long time coming#but I'm still a bit sad#sure it could be toxic as hell and some of the fans were absolutely the worst#but for a very long time#Achievement Hunter was my home#good luck to (most of) the cast in their future endeavors#thanks for the good times and the laughs and for being there for me when i really needed you#💚💚💚
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maybe in another universe i'm the one you want
#mentally fucked#venting#actually mentally ill#i hate it here#bpd thoughts#too fucking much#die#love#depressing shit#i hate him#toxic love#unrequited love#i love him#im unloveable#unlovable#i feel so unloveable#another universe#alternate universe#another world#other woman
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A lil rant about my experience with this god forsaken fandom
I made this blog around 2020 when I was 13 years old. This was my first shot at a dedicated fandom blog and I was pretty excited for it, to make friends, draw fanart, post fun stuff and what not.
All fun right? Right, so tell me why was it that literal 20 years olds felt the need to harass me, a then 13 year old girl with a relatively small blog, for the dumbest reasons possible?
What did I do that subjected me to 2 and a half years worth constant daily threats and harassment? Hmm???
You wanna know my crime? Apparently I showed interest in an antagonist character, which is so awful that grown adults felt the need to bully me. And following those adults came young impressionable people my age, that joined the bandwagon of hate against me.
As if other fandoms don’t have people literally dedicating themselves to a villain, no one bats an eye to that. Why did this fandom have such an issue? I also apparently dared to criticise the main character for a few of his flaws. Such a horrible thing to do right? I need to be burnt at the stake for it right?
I didn’t follow the “fixed” standards of the fandom so I was to be sent de*th/r*pe threats daily?? For not following the “rules” I was to be ostracised?
No please someone explain…I’m but a dumb bitch, I don’t understand what I did so terribly wrong to deserve this? Did I start a war? Did I rip open someone’s plush? Did I bully someone for not having the same ideology as me?
No it was but the fandom itself that for some reason found it so fun to bully a 13 year old, send her de*th and r*pe threats all because of not being of pjo fandom standards…let’s go and bombard her with hate!!
Do you realise how fucking stupid…this all sounds? Do you realise how low this is? Was bullying a child so fun? So trendy at the time?
Then came the victim blaming- I laugh everytime I remember people saying I must have done something really bad to get such harassment, that it’s all for attention. What kid wants to get hate everyday of their life for 2 whole fucking years? Tell me?
You know wanna know what I did wrong? Fight back, call the hate anons out for their bigotry. I was vocal about it, that’s what I did wrong right? Stand my ground? People said to ignore it and I did. But I still got bullied daily even if I didn’t respond. What was all this for?
I can imagine people asking why I didn’t simply leave the fandom? Why the fuck should I? I enjoy the stories, I enjoy the characters, they were my escape from real life struggles. It was the bullying I didn’t enjoy. Everyday I’d log on to enjoy posts and a few minutes later when the bigots found out I was active I was sent an anonymous threat.
Many of my oldest friends had to reduce the amount they interacted with me in fear of receiving harassment themselves. The extent of this is bigotry is beyond my understanding.
I did not deserve this much suffering AND ALL FOR WHAT? A STUPID LITTLE REASON THAT HAS BARELY ANY WEIGHT TO IT. Do people even realise the extent of what happened is beyond me. And Idc if I sound selfish, I want a fucking apology from all those bigots. I want compensation for the 2 and a half years of abuse I endured alone. I just want this bigotry to end, which surprise surprise! Still continues to happen.
Why do I bring this up now that it’s all over you ask? I’ve actually brought it up once before, but it was swept under the rug, (My deepest appreciation to the very few people who supported me when I first talked about it) I’m just finally being more vocal, because this has stuck with me. For all those 4 years this has stuck with me. It doesn’t mean if it’s over for now that all the trauma doesn’t linger. It still affects me to this day.
In fact I’m still being stalked by one of the people who sent me hate anons. One of the hate anons was revealed to be one of my bestest friends, they had admitted this to me and had the nerve to beg me to still remain friends. They were also the person who groomed me. They have left the fandom scene and I’ve rid of them from my life but they still continue to stalk me.
What do I get from ranting about all this? A bit of solace, a bit of weight off my shoulders. But nearly not enough for me to actually fucking heal. I also want people to realise how bigoted some are and how horrible the mentality of “fixed fandom standards/ideologies” is and that we as a fandom need to fucking change. Heck I know this issues in every fandom. But can we at least start with ours for a change for once?
Along side all of this there’s also a lot of racism and trans/homophobia that still actively prevails. Just look at what Leah went through when her casting was announced. Did she deserve all of that?? “Not my annabeth” do you realise how horrible that is to say to a CHILD? She is Annabeth whether you like it or not. And you are very welcome to leave if you wish to stick to your stupid racist nonsense.
I bet there are many others who have probably suffered the same may it not be for the same reasons, but everyone of them deserve their apologies and compensation as well.
Idc if I’ll get hate for this. I said what I said. I’m just so done.
#trigger warning#tw hate#I was also informed I was being mocked in group chats and there were sick rumours about me.#i won’t give a fuck if I get harassed again cux this literally shows how low this fandom will get#there’s so many layers to this I haven’t even gone into detail on#but I just want atleast this off of my chest. I was shaking and short of breath as I wrote this#I wish to thank all my oldest moots and friends that stuck by me despite everything. I cannot express how thankful I am to you guys#love you all tons.#what do u mean by compensation? just an apology from the same people who hurt me. which is nearly impossible. but idc I want to find them#and confront them. I need to bring my 13 year old self justice for what she went through. I pushed her feelings aside when this was over#but she never healed. I’m hoping she gets a bit of peace for now.#pjo fandom#percy jackson fandom#fandom toxicity
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Kate is a grown-ass woman towards a literal child because she is a crazy predator (and I’m tired of people not acknowledging it and Derek’s trauma from it):
Stiles defending Derek cause that’s his mans and Kate just so in the wrong:
Just a reminder: Kate Argent is a predatory bitch😐
#derek hale#stiles stilinski#derek x stiles#stiles x derek#sterek#stiles stilinski x derek hale#sterek pack#derek hale x stiles stilinski#sterek is real#sterek love#sterek meme#stiles and derek#derek and stiles#kate argent#I hate Kate argent#she a fucking bitch#She's is such a fucking creep#she deserves so much worse#Derek has messyad toxic relationships with woman after that because Kate fucked him up so much and I can't even describe the anger I feel#i absolutely hate it#I hope kate argent burns for eternity and it still won't be enough for what she deserves
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okay just imagine the emperor coming along, seeing his boy with a wife and thinking “ooh I like this” and carrying her off. The tension. The misery. The shitty shitty parenting. Emps used to be a barbarian warlord so he sees nothing wrong with this. He is chieftain, he gets his pick of the women. Drops her back like a month later bow legged and claps his kid on the back and congratulates him on his taste.
You all will really just wake up one day and send me the most unhinged shit huh
but ngl as funny as this is help im pissing this would make a REALLY tense fic and I unironically kind of want to write it
#I feel like i should speak to a therapist about this but ngl kinda down#this is SO fucking toxic#but i love toxic relationships so /shrug#reply#Misty's book club#The Emperor ‘Droit du siegneur’ plotline
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