#i feel on top of the world rn
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Every week I’m like “why do I feel like this!!” And every week the answer is “hormones”
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Out of all of the people The Ghost King Phantom expected to relate to, it definitely wasn’t the scrawny red headed photographer of the Daily Planet. Jimmy Olsen has gotten so many temporary superpowers over his time being Superman’s friend. Hell, he once gained a 4th dimensional being’s reality warping abilities when he was given said dimensional being’s powers during a fight. Sure there’s a dozen or so heroes with the same amount of powers he has, but none as suddenly granted to them as a all powerful god that can relate to a teenager.
#bones speaks#hi this is bones in the future: below tags I do mean but I was Not Sober while writing them so they may have severe spelling errors#bones prompts#dpxdc#dp x dc#just google the amount of times Jimmy has had powers and what they are. I just read a comic#where the F PLOT of all things is Jimmy getting superpowers and causing havoc in Metropolis. that’s how frequent this is#the all powerful god powers was in a recent Batman/Superman Worlds Finest issue where he got Mxyzptlk’s powers#like guys. there are SO many heroes that have more powers than Danny in DC.#off the top of the dome I can only name a few (in my defense I am Not Sober so memory is Not Good:)#Raven. The Spectre. Superman. The Atom. Batman (temporary powers). Dr Fate. Martian Manhunter#and I could name more if my memory wasn’t shot rn#this is a mini rant in the tags but I’m so tired of the ‘Danny has so many superpowers it would stump DC’#it would for sure shock them. but they wouldn’t be surprised. why are they all so shocked from Danny’s arrival?#I’ve made many posts about how much more interesting Danny simply being in the JL like it’s just another Tuesday would be interesting#so many folks enjoy the discovery aspect of Danny and not the part where he’s alreaady a JL member and is#*isnt OP. it’s so much more interesting to write a character with flaws. make him regular powered and able to be struck down by a Big Bad#and not just his weaknesses. he’s been beaten to shit by ghosts before. the angst possibilities is crazy.#Billy Batson looking at a kid nearly his age get hurt more and more by Black Adam? Fear Gas setting him on a rampage in Gotham absolutely#destroying his perception of what being safe is anymore. Lex Luther finding his weakness and wrecking his shit#it could be SUCH an interesting direction to take dpxdc but no one does. when I write prompts with those ideas they make a fraction of the#notes of the prompts where I pander and have batfam in them. diversity of ideas in fandom is what makes us strong. keep the new and#unorthodox ideas flowing. it feels like you’re swimming upstream but it’s worth it to help a fandom grow
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still can't believe this actually happened. had an absolute blast and i don't think i'll ever shut up about this. thank you @sawthemusical for an absolutely amazing night!!
and to @catharticartist there is no one else i'd rather be unhinged about this movie and musical with!! we won!!!!
#saw#saw the musical#i feel on top of the world rn and i'm being so serious#also. credit to hound for the silly little face cover-up. very fitting#and Of Course we had to go as hoffman and amanda because why wouldn't we#slaying as always#welcome to the void
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ok but im rly into the idea of till having a new era that brings the light back to his eyes and drives him forward if he gets to escape the arena. idk where he'd go from there but i want to see ivans sacrifice both haunt him and drive him to actually live his damn life after being the captured bird refusing freedom cause of mizi. once he knows she's alive with the resistance he might be able to actually experience other things and widen his world and if that happens and he puts his personal sense of rebellion towards the human cause OR settles into finding some other way to feel fulfilment that isn't a single person that could be deeply fascinating to me i think
#alien stage#ramble#idk#till alien stage#as an xxxholic fan i want to see caged birds fly and all the fear and loss and grit and progress that comes with it#till era would be so fucking fun#especially when characters r built arnd one person or one goal or something you want to see them find new things to suffer or thrive abt (?)#random inconsequential thought imagine till hooking up with hyunas besties and they become a resistance throuple#idk i just want till to experience the wider world as the one that was the most restrained by his heart AND literally#cause even compared to the other anakt kids he suffered so much in those damn buildings and labs#i wanna see him freed and what that means for ivans legacy as the person who was unseen but someone who both contributed to and desperately#tried to stop his pain and confinement no matter what#honestly the thing i wanna see most rn off the top of my head is#till coming to terms with what he knows and sees about ivan now#no matter how he feels about it i think ivan wont be forgotten that easily#i want to know whats going thru tills head rn immediately in this moment#cause this snapped him in some way and he is acutely aware of things he didnt even notice before#while handling the mizi desth thing#that he assumed was happening#if he is assumedly saved i want to see the explosion that is knowung mizi is alive#knowing ivan is dead and how ivan felt#and knowing he has a way out of the cage#because its a triple whammy#i want to see his brain exploding in real time thinking abt all these things#and what sort of person the revelations will make him become#also i want to see mizi and till have like an actual conversation cause itd be a wildcard especially right now
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Does anyone have any tips to help stop yourself from comparing your artwork to others, or equating your value as an artist with likes and reblogs?
I've struggled with this for a while and it's getting old, I don't know how to just shrug it off. Any genuine advice would be nice
#its just bygging me bc i know rationally they dont matter i knoe they dont#but i still feel it in my bones that im not good enough because my work doesnt circulate on platforms#i paint for fun and then i post and i get these feelings and theyre so goddamn annoying#i know to just keep posting anyway and try to enjoy the ride but my Depression Brain is such an asshole#i wish it would be quiet#i never used to feel this way either until likes and reposts/reblogs became so integral to social media#on top of needing commissions to get by while looking for work and attending school soon#idk maybe this is just a vent and ik no one can Fix it that simply#i guess im just speaking 2 the void rn and maybe others feel the same#*bugging#and i really am so grateful just to know anyone likes it or comments on it and reading feedback really really means so much#but i feel like unless im pumping out specific fandom stuff that doesnt really happen#but the negative thoughts and feelings can b rly strong sometimes and im just tired#im sure this is a depression thing too#hoping i can get into therapy thru school but it depends on finances as everything else in this world does 🫠#ill keep going tho#and please if you are someone who does comment or reblog and say something about the work please do not ever stop#it means so much to me and others im positive it does#i see you and i appreciate you so so much#thank you and thank you to anyone who reads or comments some ideas
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they could make a new we didnt start a fire song with the amount of dystopian fuckery going on
#genocide and colonization; AI takeover; greedflation; american election; photomatt; covid pandemic; measles comeback#human rights violations; war crimes; tiktok; elon musk; low wages and layoffs at an all time high; ceo paycuts; online censorship#climate change; oil spills; car centric infrastructure#just to name a few off the top of my head. im not even saying this to be funny im like dead serious full on depressed#i hate being so negative on main because it feels defeatist and sends everyone into a spiral#but i really want to change the world if i can help it and that means not ignoring everything thats going on even when my brain is#screaming 'its so over.' i want more ways to change the world but thats exactly why the current systems in place thrive on supression#more ppl should hate the way things are instead of accepting it because none of this should be justified in the first place#please dont be sad. be angry because i think we all deserve to be the way things are going rn and i want to punch elons teeth in#vent#yapping
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#everything is wretched rn#i feel so unbearably lonely atm.#the more i get to know the 17-19 years old i work with the more i deeply dislike them and their values.#i can't even think about the state of the world without falling into crippling despair and existential dread#but at least i have my little story i'm trying to write#and its literally the only thing i'm clinging onto rn bc i feel like im going insane#and idk if my anxiety is just about the world in general rn#or if i actually do hate my new job/the people there....#or if im just tired or what#but everything is bad#everything is so fucking bad. on top of it my sleep has been so awful lately.#and its dark at 4pm#about moi#ignore me im having an existential crisis
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i might just be off for a few days im sorry
#* / 𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲 𝐨𝐧 𝐚 𝐜𝐫𝐨𝐬𝐬 . ooc#vent tw ig but#im way too stressed to properly write rn#everythings piling on top of itself and im like#literally staring at a fucking mountain of problems and i Have No Hands to climb with#if that makes sense#ill feel a lot fkn better when its all sorted out but#right now i just wanna disappear into a game and forget the outside world#i really thought i was in a good enough space to start writing again#but as always#men ruin fucking Everything
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hi!! your recent rb of late night talking put it on my dash and i really really really just have to double down and say that it's some of the best minghao writing i've ever read, if not the absolute best. thank you so much for putting it out into the world and i wish for you nothing but the best (´ ∀ ` *)
EEEK i'm so so happy you liked it !!! i am definitely not an angst writer so stuff like that almost always gets banished to my docs for me to brood about later but reading the reblogs always makes me feel better i'm so glad ppl can relate to it :(
#[💌] — asks#[💬] — kae#actually not glad bc if ppl are relating to my own insecurities then thats really sad ndhjnfhdjn#but if everybody has the same insecurities then maybe the world is a kinder place than we all think#ANYWAY im so stupid omfg user xinganhao.... user ylangelegy... user kwondotcom... ive connected the dots#meeting a celebrity rn omg i havent had a minute yet to dig into ur fics but i LOVE your smaus#i am the same stickler for dialogue (both when i read and write) AND YOU DO IT SO WELL#no shade at all to other writers but u usually get the feeling they just write smaus in the style how they personally text#and i never get that feeling w urs#i havent reblogged them all but i think ive literally read every single one of ur smaus theyre always at the top of my tumblr and-#-im like omg a meal i need to consume this NOW#dialogue is always the first part i write and then i write the surrounding bits and then i go back and edit the dialogue again#bc if my dialogue sounds funky in my head then it ruins the whole fic for me dnhdnsj#yapping so bad rn i sound like an overexcited chihuahua ANYWAY im so glad you liked it thank you for reblogging!!! 🥺#[🎙️] — feedback
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Do any of y'all have adhd and bipolar or know of any good accounts of what having both is like? I've noticed that I've been having some seriously abnormal moods recently, and the more I look into it, the more I think that it looks a lot like bipolar, but I'm not sure how it would interact with my adhd, or even if there's anything other than my adhd going on at all. Feel free to DM me if you don't want to talk about it publicly
#personal#adhd#bipolar#(?)#as an example of the mood swings: last night i worked on a project that isnt for a grade from 6pm to 1am with a 20 minute dinner at 9#and now im 10 minutes into my first class of the day. and im sitting on my bed in my robe not even dressed from the shower#(yes the class is in-person)#and i know i need to get up and move but its just not happening#and this isnt super weird for me w the adhd but ive been having really long stretches of unsteerable hyperfocus for a few days#when normally being medicated means i can control the general direction of the hyperfocus#and since monday ive felt like i need less sleep and have been even more nocturnal than usual which i think is making mornings harder#and ive been feeling like im on top of the world#like being late to class doesn't matter and i can spend my time doing what i want to even if i have other shit to do.#ive been super late to classes recently bc of executive dysfunction in the morning#and hyperfocus in between classes.#idk it feels like im losing it a bit and im really frustrated by my dumbass brain rn.#n e way. that was a long ass rant. pls lmk if youve got any experience w this or any resources that talk ab it. thx!❤️
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arthur's such a mood this season i also feel like my brain is disintegrating into dust and blowing away wooooosh
#the nemesis speaks#mv liveblog#burnout king 🤝#nah i'm fine yall it's just. it's gonna be a long weekend. and this is on top of the [gestures at the general state of the world rn]#so i sort of feel like curling up in a small ball and not doing anything. unfortunately i have Human Tasks to attend to
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having a good breakfast getting 8hrs of sleep packing a nice lunch hell yeah
#feeling the little joys lately. need to get so much done this week but it's starting okay#it's also really cold rn and i get to bust out my hand knit sweater and it makes me feel on top of the world#🐌
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See? My expectations of myself are so low that I did, in fact, end up failing those odds.
And procrastinating on it with working on a prologue comic and suosakunire trio w/ will jay songs art + my thoughts on ras' suopost v2 sitting on my samsung notes like a lifeline Sighs
Another thing? Remember that Goose Mountain Tales makeup/cosplay trend from like wayback pandemic? Yeah, I wanna make a Suo centric fanart of it omfgg but like him as (surprise surprise) the fox demon (i could make it a suonire piece with nirei being the rabbit demon 🤔). And i also wanna make a EndoChika song art piece with one of Alec Benjamins songs im- IM SWAMPED WITH IDEAS THAT I WISH I CAN JUST
#eve babbles#if u want to know the progress rn its like 45% done#and then like self doubt hit and all the poses didn't feel right anymore#also will jay? fucking great#his music is so good#him and alec benjamin should do a collab#THERES SO MUCH TO DO#I WANNA DO IT ALL#also speaking of alec benjamin + endochika#the top contenders are 'our love is like a burning garden'; 'o.i.n.v.'; and 'use me'#like??? sir benjamin why are your songs so fucking good#also pls pls pls tell me someone in this world is working like an ELECT wbk dance animation or smthing???#is this fandom popular enough to have smthing like that in its midst and i just haven't found it yet?
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Sent this to the it gets better project in response to their latest ad (posting bc I would personally feel relieved to hear that someone else feels this way and is speaking up):
Hello! First of all I wanted to say thank you for all that you do, it is wonderful to see you providing tangible help and support to LGBT students and creating safe spaces!
I am writing to you about your recent Tumblr ad, with “good queer news for the TL” at the top. I have some concerns as this is not the first time an It Gets Better ad on Tumblr has featured the word “queer” in huge letters, in a way that all Tumblr users see repeatedly and cannot opt out of.
While many people find empowerment in this term, it makes many others (myself included) feel unsafe and unwelcome. While I support everyone’s right to use this term for themselves if applicable, myself and many of my trans friends feel uncomfortable with a large, repetitive, unskippable ad using the slur in a way we cannot avoid unless we stop using the app.
I felt hesitant to voice this concern in a reply to the Tumblr ad itself, as I saw that it is unfortunately getting hateful replies (I also worry about homophobes feeling validated in using slurs towards the community) and I felt safer reaching out directly. I am speaking up out of genuine concern for the wellbeing of LGBT people like myself who will come across the ad, and wanted to give my input into how your organization can better help our community feel seen and respected.
Again, thank you so much for all the important work you are doing, including the projects described in the ad!
#I doubt they’ll give a shit bc lgbt orgs tend to write you off as ignorant if you don’t identify w that word but#even tho i know it won’t change anything. I feel like people need to hear these things#they need to stop thinking that everyone in the world agrees this is appropriate#I should have included smth abt how they also have that word plastered at the top of the app itself rn#like before you even see A Post it’s the first thing you see…#I also wish I could report the ad itself as just ‘it has a slur in it’ but unfortunately that’s tumblrs favorite slur also#mine#txt#q slur
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#dumping out all my issues here so bear with me#but i’ve been in the same room for going on 72 hours#haven’t seen anyone or talked to anyone in person#i have covid so i feel miserable and have no motivation to do literally anything#but classes and work don’t stop so i have assignments piling that i have no energy to start or complete#on top of all this!!!?#my brain has decided NOW is the perfect time to have a crisis about the future#i’m a senior in college and the real world is fast approaching which actually makes me physically i’ll#bc wtf am i gonna do#anyway#i’m having a hard time#and felt like complaining#apologies for clogging the dash#BUT THE ONLY THING ON EARTH RN I THINK WOULD ACTUALLY FIX ME IS A PUMPKIN COLD BREW I FUCKING NEED ONE SO BAD
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btw similar to the whole "if you try adderall at a party and it calms you down, get an adhd test" thing, if at some point in your life you try microdosing shrooms with a friend and end up feeling like a functional person for the first time in your life, get tested for depression. like yeah hallucinogens come with elation so youre probably gonna have some "this is the best ive ever felt in my life" vibes regardless, but like. if that in and of itself feels like finally breathing in for the first time in years, thats for sure a sign that something is up with your ability to process serotonin most of the time. feeling better than ever before should be a nice bonus, not a crushing weight off your chest
#fun fact there are currently multiple ongoing studies vis a vis the effectiveness of psilocybin on depression#both on its own and as a companion to ssris#psylocybin targets the 5ht2a serotonin receptors which wikipedia tells me are more numerous in the brains of those with depression#so like. if you spend most of your life feeling like your brain is an aquarium with a leak in it and serotonin is the water and your default#state is 'slightly damp gravel grinding painfully against itself' thats ummm not normal 👍#and on the flipside of that if you have depression that no other med has worked for and know a guy. its 1000% worth it#origibberish#also i say 'wikipedia tells me' as if i just looked it up but that all comes from a long night of spite filled research after i asked my#psychiatrist if we could use the fact that psylocybin worked for me as a basis to like. narrow down which legal antidepressant#might work instead of basically just throwing darts at a board every time#and after several minutes explaining to her that i was not just asking her to prescribe me shrooms but in a legal way she went#'ohhhh yeah no unfortunately theres been no research into that‚ yeah.... sorry......:)'#which. as far as 'lies you come up with on the spot to avoid having to say i dont know' go‚ that is. maybe the worst one to pick#like. 'no‚ thats not an option'? alright fine maybe theres some internal rules or something who knows#'theres no research' though just. immediately tanks any and all credibility 100% even on its own but considering the subject matter?#youre telling me. that humans. the famously curious species that researches fucking Everything. and also Loves playing with drugs. when#trying to figure out how to make drugs that make brains feel good. would not start with the drugs they already knew made brains feel good.#youre telling me that not one (1) singular scientist tried shrooms and went 'oh my god wait. i dont feel like im dying for the first time#ever. holy fuck i need to study this'#complete misplay. absolutely legendary fumble. there were so many ways to fuck it up and somehow you found the worst. congratulations#om the other hand though. really was an excellent setup for the punchline that is the voicemail i have from them saying she'd been fired LOL#they didnt say what for specifically but yknow. based on my own experiences i certainly have theories jebfksbfk#it was annoying in the moment but at the end of the day i have shrooms and she doesnt have the job so. whos laughing now emily KSBFKSBFKDN#this is what i mean though like. rn i feel fine. not on top of the world‚ not like a god#just. fine. i just dont feel like shit. i feel like i can do stuff if i want to‚ or chill peacefully and have it actually be. relaxing.#i dont feel like gravel right now‚ i feel like a person.#and god what a fucking relief it is#really i guess the moral overall is that if at any point you react to trying a new drug the same way an addict craving a hit for days would#then there maybe is something up with your brain chemistry because that means your default state of existence is comparable to that#of withdrawal. a famously shit experience
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