#ignore me im having an existential crisis
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#everything is wretched rn#i feel so unbearably lonely atm.#the more i get to know the 17-19 years old i work with the more i deeply dislike them and their values.#i can't even think about the state of the world without falling into crippling despair and existential dread#but at least i have my little story i'm trying to write#and its literally the only thing i'm clinging onto rn bc i feel like im going insane#and idk if my anxiety is just about the world in general rn#or if i actually do hate my new job/the people there....#or if im just tired or what#but everything is bad#everything is so fucking bad. on top of it my sleep has been so awful lately.#and its dark at 4pm#about moi#ignore me im having an existential crisis
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me: wanting to apply to a source blog
also me: wondering if im good enough
impostor syndrome is awful
ive only been doing this gif thing for a few months but i think im not too bad at it lol
need to do more creative things and I've got ideas and practice makes perfect right
ugh its terrifying though to put oneself out there and open up to the possibility of rejection
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#*lies face down in a puddle* tired of feeling guilty for both engaging and not engaging with my hobbies#guilty when drawing and writing bc everything i make is bad#guilty when gaming and reading bc i haven't done my productive hobbies enough to have earned it#and also guilty bc then i go online to read about the things i watched/read/played#and find out that my interpretations are just plain wrong or way too shallow#love pretending to care about art and then being bad and both making it and engaging with it its genuinely so pathetic#but yeah also guilty when not doing any hobbies bc im wasting time#and being ungrateful for the free time that im lucky to have#im so tired someone come lobotomize me please#i know im being whiny im sorry please ignore me#just having another one of em regular existential crisis ill be fine
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my lacy is my best friend
i love her more than anything, she is my heart and soul but i will always be jealous of her.
they can write better than my best work without trying, they make drawings everyday better than i could if i studied art for years, they are too hard on everything they do even if it’s pure brilliance and could have people worship them anytime they wanted.
people enjoy talking to her and find comfort in her presence. she’s the prettiest person i have ever met. they have multiple people to choose from to date, one of the only times i got asked out was because they really wanted to date my best friend and asking me out was the easiest way to get there attention.
she looks good with her hair long or short, they look good any way they do their makeup and they have already got through the issues that i deal with and i know that they aren’t perfect but they seem perfect to me.
i could never hate her even if i’m jealous of her it doesn’t mean i don’t like her, i love them more than anything, i love her so much that i don’t mind being second.
#i want to scream#ignore me im venting#i'm sad#i dont fucking know#whats wrong with me#i cant think#i’m having a moment#i’m having a great time#i’m having an existential crisis#don’t mind me#fanfic#fanfiction#ao3#marauders#solangelo#archive of our own#jegulus#percy jackon and the olympians#pjo fanfic#ao3 fanfic
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i went to the barbie movie and all i got was a deep feeling of existential dread
#personal tag#barbie movie#it was so good!!!#but now im walking around in a daze just chewing it up in my head#and i think i just saw it at a really weird point in my life#but i just feel#like#i just am having such a big existential crisis#and it's weird#i know the whole thing with the movie was to show hope for this#HOWEVER#it just hit my brain at exactly the right angle to make my brain short circuit#and i feel so itchy in my skin and am rectifying eith girlhood and womanhood and also being nonbinary and how that all goes together#and the fear and the lonliness#so much lonliness that i didnt realize i was experiencing until like today#but im so lonely#and for some reason the barbie movie brought that out into my head#idk how#someone smarter should tell me#i just want to go home and ignore all the change happening but i cant go there because it no longer exists#all this to say!!#watch the barbie movie. but tread lightly
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every night i get the urge to just walk out the front door and just- keep walking. the night is so still and quiet and i get this longing for it to be the last one i ever see, to never see the sun again
#if i wake up here. one more time im gonna scream#ignore me im having a menty b#i want to be gone but i cant hurt my family and its making me - [agonized sobs]#part of me it saying i should call the crisis line thing but most of me is saying who cares#i meam who really cares right#im probably not gonna do anything#it just hurts all the time and i want to be gone and idc what to do and im one minor inconvenience away from screaming till i die#n ive wasted. enough of their time and resources ya know#and im alrwady on a waiting list#ive spent so many years on waiting lists for therapy#and none of it has ever helped#so what. would be the point#im habing an existential crisis omg
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How do you deal with paranoia?? /gq
Just read the tags,,
#ive been getting a myriad of intrusive thoughts recently#its been so bad this week and i dont even know why#I'm either thinking about getting murdered violently or suddenly dying#theres more but i dont even remember most of it right now#plus in general i think I'll get executed on spot if i even dare to speak constantly#← though on that; its getting worse since i genuinely think i shouldn't speak ever due to how paranoid i am#i genuinely think someone would slit my throat for it#for all i know this could be some mental episode?? though im not even sure#nothings happened this week that would cause me this much stress it's all just out of nowhere#im having an existential crisis because of said paranoia since i keep questioning my existence and if i have the right to even live#im so paranoid to a point where i don't even think I'm worthy of living#i wouldn't say its suicidal ideology either since i absolutely do NOT want to go out the way my intrusive thoughts insinuate if i were too#i keep getting phantom pains of being stabbed in the back or of strangulation and its scaring me#i hate hate this#i just keep ignoring it and trying to sleep it off and then it's gone for a few hours and then comes back and its back to square one#i dont have plans on acting on anything but my paranoia keeps getting more prominent and i dont know what the cause is#i keep doubting my own choices as of recent too#i dont know why this is happening and its bothering me so much#i know its not true but i constantly feel like I'm on edge or someones out to get me#like at this point yell at me in the fucking replies for these thoughts i shouldn't be having them and maybe itll force it out#i dont even know anymore#KillerKiller.txt
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a lil tipsy rn and all i have to say is: GOD i wish i knew how to properly write bc i barely draw anymore so writing seems like the next best thing?? but idk how to make word pretty. i can make it make sense but How Write Good?? insanity.
#sorry am once again having an existential crisis over my lack of creative output in the past -checks calendar- 3-4 years#art school fucked me UP#anyways. writing scripts sounds fun! or like. just writing a short story. but how??? writers are gods amongst men#right next to sculptors and actors. HOW#ignore me im rambling!! might try and write smth for my ocs idk#wish me luck !#bird babbles
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Me blissfully enjoying an episode of joyful and relatable Rodney comedy until my personal Sheppard brings me back to reality and I realize how messed up mine and Rodney’s brains are. Thank you very much for the therapy session Shep.
Stargate-Atlantis S2: E4 Duet
Sheppard: So we're cool?
McKay: No, you're cool. I'm fine.
The first time I saw this episode, I thought it was hysterical. This time, it made me largely uncomfortable. Cadman's constant usurping of Rodney's body feels wrong. I spent most of the episode as unhappy as Rodney. But that makes his saving of them better. In a way, Rodney is the better man. Cadman is kind of a brat. But, also, personally, I don't tend to get along with women like Cadman who are brash and cocky. My girlfriends are more like Teyla, calm and strong. So Cadman just rubs me wrong all the way around.
What I did like: Sheppard constantly checks on McKay and is there every time there is a change or a chance to fix things. Sheppard tested Ronon's skill level and wanted him on the team so bad. It made me happy. And the moment when Weir came to talk to Ronon was great. First, because Ronon has already moved from proving he belongs on the Alpha team to training the other men, and second, because as a rewatch, I know someday he'll thank Weir for taking him in. That's all I could think of. Later, when she's almost lost, Ronon will quietly thank her for giving him a home.🥺
#okay so#this episode was wildly hilarious#pure comedy#like the way Rodney switched was so funny and reacted around Beckett I’m literally still laughing about it#and the way he walked and then kissing Beckett at the end was cherry on top what a ridiculously funny man#but then#I was texting my bff or my own Sheppard about it#and had a full on existential crisis#cause she was mentioning how mad she got about Cadman using Rodney and Rodney being told to let go of control#basically what she says here and more#and then I was like well I’m used to it so I just ignore it#which was so out of left field like wtf I was like what am I saying#but it’s true#and anyway I went through a whole thing personally like I shouldn’t be okay with it#and I get why Rodney gets mad about losing control cause I was asked something similar and had a panic attack#so#anyway what a good funny and totally not sad on hindsight episode#Sheppard protecting me always I guess#special note to Rodney caring to save cadman anyway cause maybe I wouldn’t have done that now that I think about it#and Sheppard advocating for Ronon#also Ronon is basically the beast with the fork and everything#he’s so puppy#also also Sheppard checking on Rodney constantly picking Rodney to save immediately wanting to make sure him and Rodney were okay#bless this brotp so much#SGA#also im totally not blaming my bf for what happened but also I completely am#do they have to be so protective and caring ALL the time#just let me live in denial
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Ok so I've randomly had this genius idea and was keeping it in my head for a month or so. And i for some reason had an urge to find someone to make this thing. And YOU got unlucky to be in my FYP with open requests! Poor you, now you are cursed with this request! (Also ur writing is cool, but im suck at giving compliments~)
Imagine being a one of the most powerful demons in entire devildom, falling from heaven, going through a war.. and you just meet a human, who is crying because of a paper scratch! That's the request!:
Brothers with Pain-sensitive MC/MC with Algophobia if you prefer.♡
Ahem🤓👆, Algophobia is a phobia of pain. No one likes getting hurt, but algophobic person is afraid of it more than normal ppl. Also Algophobia makes all pain feel even more painful because if the fear🤓👆
These two are pretty much the same, but Algophobia one has more angst potential than just "Pain-sensitive"
This thing sounds just so hilarious in my head, imagine after MC does something bad Lucifer wants to punish them, but then he remembers that this human uses cooking gloves to drink coffee because "its way to hot" and ends up with existential crisis because all of his punishments will turn Pain-sensitive MC into dust😭
I saw a lot of ppl headcanoning that demons are like "well, humans are fragile and easily will die!" and starting to think that human is dying when they broke a bone. Thats funny, but imagine what would happen if it ACTUALLY were like that. Mammon wants to get MC to the casino, but then sees how they slip and fall to their knees and the crying because "FFFFF MY KNEEEEES HURT😭😭😭" And he is just like..."Damn, bro, how u live like this" and ends up way to afraid to bring them to the casino bc of "eeevil demons that would eat them!".
Also i imagine that Levi would do something similar, but, lets agree that him asking MC to go somewhere is an impossible scenario. I think he will do a good job tho.
Satan and MC hanging out in the garden with cats and this dude, who can easily broke the entire house if he gets angry, casually watching this piece of human struggling to pet a cat bc of their shaking hands. "Come on, just pet it, u got it, MC." "but cats have claws and claws are paaaainful!!!!"
Asmo is probably the only one who will have no problem with that, lol. This dude loves saying about being gentle. Yeah, not surprising that i simp for him. But dynamic between Devildom's biggest slut and a Human, who never kissed with anyone because "well, if i am kissing someone, I can't tell if the person is not gonna get a knife a d won't stub me! and stubbing ppl is painful!" sounds hilarious.
Beel is a big cinnabun, we all can agree. But yhis cinnabun is so big, that it can easily hurt MC accidentally! Even average people often cause ain-sensitive MC pain, and someone as big and strong babyboy like Beel? Damn, poor big man and MC, who waits for hot food to cool down for 15 minutes before eating it because "hot food is painful!"
Belphegor probably will do okay.. i mean, if we ignore 16 lesson.. he is pretty gentle boy so i guess he won't do anything bad. But, i can still imagine how this dude might hurt MC in his sleep and when wakes up and sees them, ouch-ing and rubbing their cheek, because "you were asleep and accidentally hit my cheek.." while this dude was just changing his sleeping pose.
So you can make something fluffy with brothers trying to not-hurt Pain-sensitive MC accidentally, you can do it in memes, you can do some angst with Algophobia. You can do whatever you want, i give the idea, you use it if you want!~
Damn, this think came out like a whole ass post. But i hope you didn't got bored halfway, lol.
Have a nice day tho!~~~
hi! haha I didn’t get bored you understand me!! I absolutely love when someone is just as excited as me about an idea :) this is exactly what I do when I have an idea I love so much I want to squeeze it in a good way
glad you like my writing 🥺 <3 please enjoy!
Mc with Algophobia
Lucifer
he knows right off the bat because it was on your paperwork (creepy) but makes accommodations where he can (loving)
essentially baby proofs the house right after you arrive once he realizes you’re being serious including padding on every sharp corner
always has a first aid kit on hand because he’s worried about you and won’t hesitate to offer you all the time off you need
finds himself unconsciously making sure you're ok
Mammon
didn't take you seriously at first until you almost started crying upon reach into the freezer to help defrost Goldie yet again
wants to help you with your fear, and unveils all of his stupid fears to you, including his fear of public water fountains
when you're not together, he has his crows keep an eye on you for him to make sure you're ok
often opts to stay home with you if it makes you more comfortable
Levi
so so chill about it since he himself is afraid of many things, and while not paralyzing, goes out of his way to avoid all these things
lets you know the door to his room will always be open for you if you need a place to relax for the hour or day
protective of you in a way he never felt before
ready to listen to your woes and try to help resolve them for you
Satan
to some extent, he understands what it's like to be misunderstood and he goes out of his way to boost your confidence
knows some amazing professionals that might be able to help you out if you want
works on himself and his outbursts to keep you safe and unafraid <3
holds your hand as often as he gets the chance to reassure both you and himself that you won't get separated and avoid any potential problems
Asmo
100% finds many excuses to kiss your booboos
finds all sorts of fun cute ways to make sure you don't get hurt and stay happy
if you get hurt around him, he's on top of it and upset too since he hates to see you unhappy
whatever you need, he's got you covered. he carries some of you things in his handbag that he always has with him in case you need it
Beel
doesn't understand at first, but is more cautious around you
he knows humans are fragile but he severely underestimated your fear
however, he's willing to do anything that you need from him
he knows his strength and always finds himself moving slower and more protective around you
Belphie
at first, he couldn't have cared less but after he got to know you, he felt extremely guilty about what he had done
does everything to make it up to you and prevent you from getting hurt again
expect lots of gifts that include nice blankets and cute bandaids
finds his way to your room in the middle of the night often to make sure you're fine and then stays (he's totally not just sleepwalking)
#obey me#obey me!#obey me satan#obey me x reader#obey me asmo#obey me beel#obey me levi#obey me lucifer#obey me belphie#obey me mammon#omswd#obey me shall we date#obey me mc#headcanons#gn reader
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fucked up sorta intoxicated long vent
cw: uuh mental health, drugs, suicide mentions, very much is just an existential crisis put into post form
this is not a suicide note or anything, im about to go cuddle up with my wife and go to sleep i just had to get my fucked up thoughts out, i might delete this tomorrow
meaning
it's so hard to find meaning in life anymore. i live for those around me, for those i love, those who love me back. yet i keep hurting them, everything keeps falling apart. i live out of spite, i cant let authority win. yet im slowly giving up my cause. i live to prove a point. ive long forgotten what point it even is anymore.
there hasnt really been any new compelling reason to keep going in over 10 years now. i honestly wonder how much it even really takes anymore to drive me to suicide. it can't be that much, im already always living on edge.
i just barely know who i even am anymore, ive largely forgotten the first 20 years of my life, and the last 3 are mostly just fog as well. forced to live in the moment, carrying all the baggage of all the previous moments i dont even have memories of anymore.
how are people just like able to keep living, regularly finding joy. how are people able to deal with bad times without immediately pondering all the ways in which they could kill themselves in?
god i need therapy so fucking bad. i keep dragging down everyone around me. how can i fix all the damage ive done, a sorry won't do. how can i fix all the damage done to me, no sorry will ever do.
why are the only options to just keep going, ignoring all the pain, or ending it all forever. where is the restart button, where can i reset, rewind, apply what ive learned to the situations where i fucked up. how do i go back and undo all the trauma. the trauma i experienced myself and the trauma i put on others.
we're all just lost children in a world not made for us. where is our world. where is the place in which we can find solace. your arms make me feel safe, and at home. but i know you feel the same way i do.
it pains me to know we're in this together, god if only i could bear your pain, if only i could bear everyone elses pain. it hurts me to know you feel this way too. no one should have to know how this feels. i wanna take on all the pain in this world so i can leave and turn the world around.
am i just failing at being a part of this society or is society failing me. i am like one bureaucratic fuck up away from dying alone on the street with no roof over my head. i cannot be self dependent, why does this society fully expect such a thing of me.
is this all worth it for the few moments of bliss, for sparing the people around me from the pain of losing me. would the pain of losing me be greater than the pain i cause every day?
i am lost. i dont know anymore. fuck i need therapy. or just anything that can fix me. the drugs certainly haven't yet, but at least i also have dependency to fight with now i guess.
yea fuck man idk
#mental health#yea idk#i was originally gonna just throw this on my blog#but while i want this to be read by people i think i want to at least somewhat control the spread of it#feel free to leave input and nice replies and stuff
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welcome to my hellhole :3
hey ya'll my name is atlas my pronouns are he/him and i am a minor so please dont send donation asks because i cant donate, my blog is too small to spread the word far enough and i feel guilty im sry
i love drowning in music, wondering whether its worth existing and making impulsive desicions at 3am. ive got to warn you that my blog will have LOWKEY DEPRESSING shit. i post randomn-ass song lyrics with absolutely no context, stuff from my brain that will make you question my sanity (as you should), rants about my fucked up life and in detail reports of my most recent existential crisis or hyper fixation idk i cant tell the difference anymore i'd write about the fandoms im in and my hobbies but i either cant remember or dont have any
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heres a noahfinnce community and heres my rp blog @nick-nelzzzzz
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#stfu atlas - the out of context bs u should ignore #he's caffeinated - bs but in caps #imparting what wisdom I have left - asks #spotify -randomn lyrics that came from nowhere #me core - if you want the gist of my existence (but why?)
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well you've made it to the end. why the fuck are you reading this bs go away bye
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hehehehe slay man/silly pos
im too silly to be my source
i now identify as just a silly guy
cant take me to prison now huh?
-Springtrap
#silliness wins#u cant take me to prison i have plot armor#lets ignore the existential crisis i had that day lol/lh#me#funguy🍄#lore#my reblog#plural stuff#utmv#previous :#im just a goofy guy#inside and out#very silly yknow yknow?#im just a lil guy#a lil silly goof#you wouldnt hit a lil silly goof would you??#acosspringtrap#mine :#hehehehe i like u man#nice crossover we got here/j#ok hj
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okay I don’t love ranting about Christians on this page because I try to keep this space free of religious shenanigans but I need to rant about this because it’s actually SO irritating. This is coming steaming hot right off the top of the dome so excuse my grammar and all caps.
Lately my instagram page (thrashkink_art check me out I’m awesome) has been getting a lot of attention from Christians for some reason, and I’ve been getting dmd by people wanting desperately to debate and/ or convert me. They all come at me with the assumption that I’m either an extreme atheist that’s just super mad at God or a complete dumbass that’s simply never read the first few pages of Genesis. I must either be angry or stupid. There’s no way I could have read the Bible and known the story of Jesus without subscribing to it. Anyone who isn’t Christian must not know the story! “Have you heard about JESUS? DID YOU 🫵 KNOW He died for your sins? 😃” Whatever
The thing that is so frustrating is that, EVERY SINGLE TIME I share some information with them about the Bible or religion that they didn’t know, they immediately BLOCK ME. EVERY TIME. And it’s like??? If you want to have a debate and go bar for bar then I’ll humor you. Hey, who knows! Maybe I’ll even learn something new and convert! I’m always open to new information! I love learning about religion! But apparently it doesn’t go both ways because the second I present information they can’t grapple with, they IMMEDIATELY BLOCK ME. AAAAAA
Some Christian dude: If you read the Bible you’d know that doing witchcraft will land you in Hell!
Me: well if we’re really going based off of the Bible, the entire concept of Hell doesn’t originate in the Isrealite religion. Actually, there’s no mention of a Hell in the OT at all, Hell is a Greek concept and so is Lucifer.
Christian: What? No?? That can’t be true it completely distorts my worldview
Me: You… don’t have to believe me just look into it yourself
*You can no longer message this person*
LIKE WTF.
Some Christian dude: Women are just naturally subordinate to men, if they weren’t then we would have worshipped a female Goddess alongside YHWH.
Me: Well… They did. The Israelites worshiped Asherah alongside YHWH before her worship was abolished
Christian: This is blasphemy *you can no longer message this person*
RRRRRRRRAAAAAAAA. I have countless examples like this! A dude called me evil because I told him Jesus was Jewish. I’ve been called a degenerate for explaining how YHWH originated in Canaan. Im so tired of ignorant Christians shitting my pants because they’re too lazy to do any research on tHEIR OWN RELIGION!! IF YOU NEED TO HAVE AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS BECAUSE YOU JUSG LEARNED ABOUT THE HISTOY OF YOUR RELIGION THEN THATS ON YOU BITCH! DONT GET MAD AT ME BC YOUVE BEEN FED A LIE !!!!!! THATS NOT MY PROBLEM !!!!!!!!!!
There have been so many times when I’ve taken the time to go through all this bullshit with people because I really don’t want to be close minded. But holy shit it’s like they’re allergic to conflicting information. They immediately accuse me of trying to push blasphemy onto them. and when i’m like hey dude don’t take my word for it, please I encourage you to do your own research, they’re immediately so offended and appalled. How dare I tell them something about the Bible that they didn’t know.
Listen bro, I’m fully supportive of your Christianity, live your life, worship your God, I honestly do not care. But if you’re going to try to convert me at least be somewhat prepared for an actual discussion. Don’t block me because you can’t handle the reality of the situation mother fucker.
LIKE LISTEN IM USUALLY NOT SO PRESSED AB SHIT LIKE THIS BUT THE THING THAT DRIVES ME UP THE WALL IS THAT I USUALLY TRY TO IGNORE THESE PEOPLE BUT THEN THEYRE ALL LIKE “Aha! 😌 You don’t want to hear me out because you know I’m right! You’re afraid of the truth!” SO THEN IM LIKE
*SIGGGGGHHHHHHH*
OKAY! Let’s go! Let’s hear it! We can debate because you’re so desperate to change my mind! ILL WASTE THREE HOURS OF MY LIFE GOING THROGH THIS SHIT WITH YOU SO YOU CAN JUST CALL ME A BLASPHEMOUS WHORE AND BLOCK ME. I LOVE WASTING MY TIME I LOVE GOING IN CIRCLES I LOVE POINTLESS DISCUSSIONS I LIVE FOR THEM
DO NOT!!! DM ME IF YOURE A CHRISTIAN !!!!YOU WILL NOT COME OUT THE SAME AFTER HEARING THE THOUGHTS FROM MY EXPANSIVE SEXY SLUTTY BRAIN YOU WILL NEVER BE THE SAME!!!!
RRRRRAAAAAAAAA
ok. I’m better now. Merry Venus Day! Ave Lucifer! 🔱 💀
#witchcraft#magick#occultism#pagan#paganism#demonology#witch community#witch aesthetic#witchblr#grimoire#lucifer devotee#luciferian witch#lucifer deity#lord lucifer#theistic luciferianism#religion#christianity
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RETURN OF THE KING: MALEVOLENT LIVEBLOG EPISODE 37 THE FARM
spoilers (you already know)
back at it with some humming!
JOHN MY BELOVED !!!! youre so bitchy i love him
HES SO PETTY HELP
harpers hill mention omg (harpers hill hijinks coming soon)
“MY BOOK HMPH 😤” girl 😭😭
“i didnt realise” yes because you cant see and john is like really really dumb
it kills me that john is bitching about oscar not finding anything but like what information have you contributed in the last 3 episodes
ive missed bullying john
malevolent is a comedy and i will stand by that
mmm rain sounds
HYPNOS GREEK GOD MENTION ‼️
“can you imagine hahah” yes i can it was the best arc of the show send tweet
well you havent seen his face
whys john being so quiet all of a sudden?
OH WHAT THEFUCK I SAW RHIS COMING
“i suppose ill just watch again” SOMEONE IS A JEALOUS GIRL
arthur ignoring john….. the girls are going to DIVORCE
“not you sorry ^_^” and then he goes back to ignoring john?? girl
oh wait that was very sweet
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST TOOK ABDHDNFN
sorry arthur speaking to john like that just destroyed me
I TRUST YOU AND YOUR MY FRIEND??? IM NOT TRYING TO IGNORE YOU?? THEYRE COMMUNICATING A
“its not because i dont care 💛” “…yes?” oscar this isnt about you
poor guy though he must be so confused
arthurs tone changes so much when he speaks to john
someone get john a pair of glasses either that or he was too busy daydreaming to see the turnoff
oh of course john would want to split off because he hasnt ever seen a horror movie arthur if you die then it’s your fault for not showing him the movie 🙄
“we might have to sleep in the car” okayyyy
oh so now john wants to give him info because he deserves to know
aaaand now he doesnt want to tell him. we love a hypocritical king !!!
return of the canadian sourry
you dont need to sound so smug that he looks hurt john 😭😭
okay oscar love the existential crisis while reading very relatable
is he gonna say arthur is his purpose
oh for fucks sake
NOT THE SOFT “oscar”
ok oscar is def into arthur and arthur saying “i don’t believe in god” is like rejection. this is how unrequited blindfaith can still win.
also god believes in you? well john and kayne sure seem to believe in him for what its worth
oscar nooo dont devote yourself to arthur that never ends well
john i dont care about oscar either but you have got to stop laying it on so think jfc
john the undefeated more like john the opportunist
“woAH” same john same
oooh so john can see auras now basically?
what monster are we gonna find in the barn 👀
oh that sounds fun actually though /j
AWW I KNEW HE WAS GONNA ASK IF HE WAS OK
ok i love how prominent the dreamlands are this episode i was just thinking about how good it was
john just wants his alone time with arthur because he cant answer his questions
“i need another set of eyes” thats like the one thing john can do it must be kinda sad to like, not be able to fully do the one thing you used to be great at
“ *gasp* a forgotten one :0” john dont act like you know what that means
hey is john a forgotten one then. is he. is he though.
can everyone except arthur feel the weirdness of places
NOT THE MUSIC BOX MUSIC IN THE BACKGROUND HARLAN WHEN ARE YOU GIVING US AN OST PLEASE IM BEGGIN YOU
ITS MIDNIGHT DONT GO IN THE FUCKING BASEMENT ITS RAINING YOURE BEING CHASED BY AN EDLRITCH THING
john its ok if you didnt see it you dont need to justify yourself ❤️🩹
john sounds almost scared to go in the basement lol
the stairs are gonna give out at a later date im calling it
what could possibly happen in the last 15 minutes
a door ajar omg is that a wtnv reference
did arthur almost die by getting crushed by a bunch of furniture
oh a barricade i know what this is about
oh happy halloween btw guys
OSCAR JUMPSCARE
my honest reaction too john
what… what did you just sink into….
oh hole in roof, cool
arthur pay attention oscar hes gonna set hjmself on fire on accident
the jarthur was too busy analysing the painting to pay attention to oscar
OH GODDAMIT ARTHRJ WHAT THE FUCK JOHN WHAT THE DAGGER? THE ONE HE SLIT HIS THROAT WITH
oh he wants to cut it off ok
jfc 7 minutes oh no
I CALLED THE STAIRS CAVING IN
GUYS HE WAS READING THE BOOK OFC HE KNOWS
question: how strong is arthur physically
“A TOWEL!” “A TOWEL?” as i said a comedy
WE GOT A “WELL DONE ORTHUR” LETS GO
you know its weird that i can handle this fine but couldnt deal with the michael torture in the woe.begone finale
NO ARTHUR ITS NOT OK
HES ISNT GOING TO MAKE IT
oh ok hes fine sort of ok
the music goes so hard again
that arthur was so scared
ok the arms alive run
or get john to arm wrestle it idk
“what thE fUCK WHAT THE FUCK” my daily vocabulary
and oscar was right :)
RUN YOU IDIOTS
arthur you could at least carry him instead of dragging him that poor poor man
i find it amusing that this mostly happened because of jarthur studying a painting and ignoring the man currently in possession of their braincells
indeed what do we do now
and thats a wrap! oh boy what an episode i have THOUGTHTS (oscar is not surviving this)
i know like maybe 2 people read this type of posts but i enjoy making and reading them back. so if youd like me to keep going with these i will :)
#malevolent#malevolent podcast#unhinged aromantics#arthur lester#john doe#john malevolent#arthur malevolent#malevolent john#malevolent arthur#oscar malevolent#malevolent oscar#malevolent spoilers#mr scratch#malevolent part 37
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(long rant incoming)
the first even transgender town council member in israel was elected in kiryat tivon yesterday!! and while this is a huge win for diversity, inclusivity and human rights, somehow even cishet white men from gaza and the west bank can’t vote. and palestinians from jerusalem still can’t vote for the government election, only municipal election!! even though the government (and for some the local council) still govern them. but in their(israeli government and other political institutions) eyes palestinians don’t count, because they’re not part of this land that we call israel, and they’re under military law instead of civilian law.
yesterday, the day of the election, i was part of a protest, a protest against the bombing of gaza, a protest for peace, a protest for releasing the hostages diplomatically, a protest for palestinian’s right to be alive.
the protest was small, and only one hour, but in that hour while the organizer read stories of survivors from gaza, depicting immoral psychological warfare and warcrimes committed by IDF soldiers, people passing by mocked us, yelled at us, cursed us, tried to argue that all of that is somehow excused and moral.
after the protest, and after we all separated into smaller groups, and went in different directions, (in order to not get targeted alone). IDF soldiers who were nearby, together with civilians, ripped photos of palestinians dying that we put up at the start of the protest. within half an hour there was nothing left, not even the strings that we hanged the photos from.
the public knows what happening in gaza, they deliberately ignore it and deny it. because accepting it would means accepting the fact that they supported the IDF, they supported the bombing of gaza, they supported and almost all of them even took part in a genocide.(in Israel, we have a mandatory military service law, which is hard to get around, and it is very common for people who do get an exempt due to medical conditions to volunteer in the military instead)
i am not scared of the truth anymore, so im going to say it. just like many others, i used to support the IDF, i used to want to join the IDF, i used to support the genocide, thinking its just to eradicate the terrorist group called hamas, thinking it was to protect us and defend, and thinking the IDF is doing everything possible to minimize collateral damage.
but with the years, every attack, every death, every news article, i came to the conclusion that so many people tried to yell at me.
at first i denied it and found excuses, then i agreed with it but watered it down and said its exaggerated. but eventually i ran out of excuses and left facing the truth. at that point i had an option, continue being complicit with the IDF knowing i support genocide, or accepting the truth and working to stop it.
my choice was obvious to me, i saw only one moral choice. unfortunately, for most israelis, the fog of propaganda is so thick that they don’t even get to have that choice, and those who do, usually choose to be complicit with the genocide out of patriotism, religious fascism or the sheer horror and existential crisis that is accepting the truth.
if there’s anything you take from this ramble of word soup, i want it to be this. think about who’s the person you’re talking to, and what mental gymnastics they were forced to go through. keep that in mind and adjust your conversation to accommodate that. the truth isn’t visible in the fog of propaganda that israeli civilians are bombarded with since birth.
if you call israel apartheid or say its a genocide you probably already lost in this discourse. they will shut their ears and won’t listen to you, thinking anything you say is hamas lies.
instead, try to walk with them, understand their train of thoughts, get to the core reasons they refuse to accept the truth and help them tackling the core of their reasoning.
they might run away from the conversation, refuse to deal with whatever they just unraveled, but in that case, you won, and pushed them one step closer to the truth.
and most importantly, don’t forget to give them resources that can help them with the next steps, we have a bunch of israeli based organizations that do exactly that, breaking the silence, eyes on the occupation, standing together, all that’s left, gush neged kibush, just to name a few. and good luck!
#:3#196#egg irl#traaa#trans#transgender#rule#ruleposting#israel#:3 hehe#palestine#r/196#gaza#municipal politics#municipal elections#election#government#trans propaganda#activism#activist
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