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Hello I was wondering if you could do Jackson ellie x bestfreind reader and like they have had a crush on eachother for a while and have a sleepover where they smoke or drink maybe or play some type of game like truth or dare and find out they like eachother and get kinda freaky idk. Thank you!
EEE I am so excited for this one watch me cook on this request. This is a rlly good request and I wanna write something just as good!! Also I want to recommend you an ao3 fic with this EXACT plot it's tagged here actually my favorite Ellie fic ever.
Content: 4k words, bestfriend reader, Jackson setting, pent-up feelings, nipple-play (r! receiving), fingering (r! receiving), tribbing, Ellie puts a finger into your mouth how fun!, a lot of dialogue before the actual sex sorry but I loved writing Ellie to be funny, reader likes pink a lot (couldn't help myself) and is afab, reader and Ellie 18+, NOT PROOFREAD LMAO
You're far from safe from liking people you shouldn't like.
That doesn't even cover the multitude of feelings! Like doesn't cover it. You're pretty sure you love Ellie.
Maybe in another lifetime, you and Ellie could've met and went on a date. You could've loved her freely. In this universe, she is your childhood best friend.
You know it could ruin the best thing that has ever happened to you if you tell her, or if she finds out in some way, but fuck; when she looks at you, it's like you forget how to breathe. You just wanna breathe her in, you want to share the same air and feel her lips on yours.
Ellie is unlike anyone you've ever known. She's sweet for you. She's impulsive to others, and honestly sometimes an asshole. That only makes you fall more and more in love for her. You didn't know it was possible to be attracted to someone's flaws, but you want every piece of her, even the bits that others in Jackson label as "annoying."
Ellie has always been there for you since you were just 15 and she moved to Jackson right by Joel's side. You just seemed to click. She was brash, foul-mouthed, and told ironically funny dad jokes. You were the type of person who liked having adventures and never shut up. Ellie always listened. She held you while you cried, let you borrow her book of puns, and volunteered to do patrols with you just so she could have fun adventures with you.
You couldn't ruin a good thing. You don't know what you would even do without Ellie in your life. You didn't wanna freak her out or make things weird. You feel like such a coward, but even thinking about Ellie distancing herself from you because of your stupid crush on her? It just makes your stomach churn with dread.
Little did you know Ellie was equally obsessed with you.
You're like a fucking ball of sunshine to the girl, always there laughing at the stupid things she says, defending her when she gets in trouble for something minor, and your smile should be considered warfare for how easily it could kill her. She tries to keep her feelings to herself, but it is so hard to when you look at her with bright eyes and the sweetest smile like you're trying to give her a toothache.
It's a recipe for a bomb, and it only takes one game to set it off.
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You're sitting criss-cross on your bed and Ellie is in your floor. It's a Saturday, which means both of you get to have a sleepover. No patrol, and no major chores to be done around Jackson.
Ellie just got back from a multiple day lasting patrol and she missed you so much while she was gone, it's not even funny. Seattle is beautiful, but boring when there isn't a sunshine girl in awe about how the verdure clings to the buildings. But at least now she is here, back in your bedroom which she loves so much.
Ellie's room is vastly different from yours. Well, her garage is. Her bedsheets are grey and minimalistic, and her make-shift kitchen is lined with posters. Her favorite is the one with the punk green-haired man holding a guitar. Her closet, however, it quite impressive. Her shelves are lined with comics and space movies, and her hangers are lined with flannels, of course.
Your bedroom, in contrast, has white bedsheets and a cozy pink blanket. You have a few raggedy plushies from scavenging around and your shelves are filled with lighter-colored clothing. White curtains decorate your windows and frilly pillowcases (that end up in the floor most of the time) compliment your bed. You have a full-length mirror in the corner of your room and a shelf of DVDs you usually just bring over to Ellie's garage, since she has a much nicer tv than you do. Ellie glances up at you from the floor, squiggling her eyebrows.
"I'm so fucking bored!" You groan, making Ellie laugh in the process.
"And how is that my problem?"
You flip her off and she clutches her stomach.
"Seriously, Ellie. I wanna actually do something and not just eat grilled cheeses and read your nerdy comics."
She scoffs.
"Excuse me? It's not my fault you have bad taste in literature."
You snort at that. "Starlight Savage and Raven Mouse are not literature."
"Oh, then what are they, huh?" She stands up, amusingly offended.
"Comics!"
Ellie grabs one of your pillows and pretends to suffocate you with it. You're laughing and trying to pry it off of your face.
"Hey, quit! You're actually gonna kill me!" You giggle, your voice muffled from the cushioning.
Ellie finally relents, laughing along with you.
"Better think twice before disrespecting Starlight Savage." She is wearing her signature shit-eating grin.
"Oh, whatever.. Hey!- You got me off topic." You groaned.
Ellie laughs at that. "And what was the topic?"
"I am bored out of my fucking mind," you complain, your voice rising in pitch to sound whiny, which she pretends to absolutely hate.
Really, she just hates that it makes her stomach clench when she hears your cute complains, and the tone of your whines only makes it worse.
"Okay, okay, fine. We can do something fun." She feigns reluctance, setting down on the bed beside you.
"Great!! So, what should we do?"
"Seriously? You don't even know what you wanna do and you gave me whiplash bitching about being bored?"
You scoff, jumping to your own defense. "I was tryin' to get you to come up with something," and then you add to complete your argument, "I wouldn't be bored if I knew what we could do."
Ellie sighs, and you smile because you know that means she has had enough of your bullshit and she just wants to throw in the towel.
"Fine. Well, we can play a game perhaps?"
You groan in protest at the suggestion. "You're a dirty cheater when it comes to Monopoly!"
Ellie only lets out a sheepish laugh at that, because she knows that you're being 100% truthful. "That is what makes the game fun!" When she sees your glare, she sighs once more. "Fine. How 'bout Truth or Dare?"
That sounds intriguing; the game begins.
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You and Ellie sit across from each other, and the game has been going on for around 10 minutes now. It's getting quite boring - always questions like "What's a secret you haven't told me?" or Ellie dares you to do something she knows you won't do, like lick the toilet bowl.
Then, she asks a question that brings the game onto another level.
"What's your favorite sex position?"
You stare at her, your jaw practically in your lap. You don't wanna talk sex positions with the girl you secretly wanna do sex positions with.
"What the fuck, Ellie?!"
She looks a bit guilty, but shrugs with a smirk that doesn't go unnoticed.
"What? I wanted to spice things up. C'mon, don't be a pussy."
You think it over, but finally, with a heated face, you say fuck it and give into her bullshit. "Missionary."
Ellie bursts out laughing.
You're sitting there not knowing what to do! She is laughing like a hyena at this point, tears in the corners of her eyes. She slaps her knee. What the fuck?!
"What's so funny?!"
Ellie just laughs, falling over and she is snorting like a pig now before she finally settles down. "It's just.." she tries to stifle a giggle, "that is the most boring thing you could've possibly said.”
You know that, but you're keen on defending your word. Ellie loves that about you, how you're always quick to stand up for yourself. "It's romantic!"
"Okay, okay," she shrugs. "Enlighten me on how missionary is more romantic than any other position that actually feels good."
You don't hesitate to list off the facts. "First of all, it does feel good! You just haven't tried the pillow method. Second of all, you can kiss your partner and actually talk to them." You sigh, getting a bit flustered (and turned on) by the conversation at hand. "Imagine fucking someone and getting to kiss all over their face while doing so, or on their neck or their tits. It's about the intimacy."
Ellie looks just as flustered as you now. She is silent for a moment before giving you the benefit of the doubt. "Okay, I guess you can rest your case now. But there is much more intimate positions than missionary, you know. You're just thinking vanilla ones like riding the strap-on, or from behind."
You raise an eyebrow at that. "Okay, I'll bite. What's more intimate than looking into someone's eyes while they cum?"
Ellie laughs at your vulgar question, pink tinting her freckled cheeks. "Tribbing." Her voice is more quiet, and that only makes you more aware of the slight tension.
You quickly brush it off with a laugh.
"Of course your gay ass would say that."
She grins and sits up at that, quick to defend herself. "Hey, you have no room to be talking, little miss 'my gay awakening is Rose from Titanic.'"
Your jaw drops and you look at her like she has said something crazy. "Hey, Rose is hot!"
She giggles. "Yeah, Sherlock, thanks for pointing out the obvious."
You roll your eyes. "Okay, okay. Can we get back to the game?"
She nods, and it continues.
As time passes, the questions grow more and more...uncomfortable to answer. You're still asking her the more casual things, but Ellie is daring you to do stupid, impossible stuff, or to answer questions like "what was your first time like?", "do you have a friends with benefits situation with anyone in Jackson?", and "if you could kiss anyone in Jackson, who would it be?" (which you brushed off jokingly by saying old man Eugene. She didn't press any further, only mocking you).
Then, she leans forward after you choose truth, and she whispers something you can't really brush off.
"Who do you like?"
You're fucked. If she asked "do you like someone?", you could answer without revealing who it is. She knows she has you trapped. Sneaky cunt.
You don't answer right away. Ellie is so close, your knees touching. The air in the room is insanely hot, and you want to leave your own house, you want to hide under your blankets or cover your face, but you can't.
Ellie doesn't wait for you to answer.
"I know you like someone, I can tell when my best friend is in love. Who is it?"
"That's way too personal, I.."
She scoffs, but it's not a rude sound. Just shocked, maybe slightly hurt. "You have always told me your crushes. Why won't you tell me now?"
You feel guilty now because she doesn't understand. She doesn't get why you won't tell her. She can't understand that it's because you like her. You want to scream it: I'm in love with you, Ellie! But those words won't be the next you utter.
"I just...I feel like this time it should be private." You know that your reasoning is weak, for once in your life, the defense is slipping and it's ugly. You internally wince.
She just stares in silence, not really meeting your eyes. It makes you panic, and then, then the words slip from your mouth seeing the hurt on Ellie's pretty face.
"It's you."
She stares at you like she didn't quite hear what you said, even though it was shaky, nevertheless loud and coherent.
"What...?"
"I..I'm in love with you, Ellie." You repeat yourself.
She leans into you. "Fuck.." Her breath hitches. "You better not be fucking around with me, I swear to-"
"No!", you shout loudly and quickly try to compose yourself. "I mean..I'm not joking. I like you. I hope this doesn't fuck with our friendship, or like.." You trail off, not wanting to think about what could happen now.
"I'm in love with you, too." There, now Ellie has gotten it out too.
Ellie didn't even fully understand why she asked you that. She knew she could've gotten her feelings hurt, that you could've liked someone else or that it would definitely mean you did like her, and then she had to be vulnerable and confess it back. Still, she was so exhausted, so fucking tired of pretending like hugs and casual touches were enough. They were never enough.
"Can I kiss you?" She doesn't even give you the proper time to react to her shared confession before she springs that onto you. You don't complain, only nodding quickly.
Her breath is warm against yours, and you can tell how shaky it is. You've never seen her so nervous, it makes your own stomach flutter with butterflies. Then, Ellie's grasping onto your face and smashing her lips against yours. Her mouth is warm, and the kiss doesn't even start out gentle. It's all devouring, all need and passon.
You quickly move into her lap, thighs on either sides of hers, and both of you are desperately pulling each other closer, finally sharing the same air. She tastes like everything natural, something so unique it can't be described but you immediately know you need more of it. Her tongue moves inside of your mouth, devouring you just like how she has been dreaming of for who knows how long, and when you're forced to pull away for a breath, her lips are sloppily trailing down your jaw to your throat, her hands grasping your hips to pull you closer.
"I've wanted you for so long, you know that?" Her voice is warm against your sensitive skin, and you think you could just burst with how it feels to be practically intertwined with her.
"Show me how it feels, Els.." You gasp and tilt your head back for more, but Ellie pulls away to look at you.
"How what feels?' She doesn't sound rude, only confused with her lips swollen and wet.
"The intimacy..the intimacy you talked about.." Oh, that.
She nods quickly, and her mouth is all over your shoulders, leaving soft pecks between words, "We can do that, but I wanna do something first..is that okay?"
"Yeah, go ahead."
With that, she pulls your shirt over your head and stares at you like she has never seen a pair of boobs before. Her eyes are wide and she takes you in before her.
"You're so pretty," she mumbles with conviction, kneading your tits through your bra. You can only moan when she sticks a hand into your bra and rubs her palm over your nipples, her other hand deftly undoing the clasp of the fabric.
That was the hottest thing you could do for a woman, Williams..
Her lips quickly find a nipple, pulling it into her mouth to swirl her tongue around the bud. Your fingers tug at her hair, begging for more. You need her closer. She reluctantly pulls her mouth off off of its new favorite place and leans back up to face you, planting an affectionate kiss on your cheek before smiling sheepishly.
"I'm gonna say something I want to do to you, but you can't laugh.."
That makes you already giggle, despite the heat building between your thighs. That is something you love about Ellie, the way she can make you laugh even when you aren't supposed to be.
"I'll try my best. What is it?" You ask, and she fiddles with her fingers nervously.
"I wanna use my fingers on you," she says it so quietly, voice nervous but filled with hunger before she quickly adds, "if you want me to. It's okay if you don't wanna go any further-"
"I want you to finger me, Els."
That was easier than she thought it would be.
She nods now, slowly unbuttoning your jeans and watching with an intense gaze as you hop off of her lap to shimmy them off. Now you're in nothing but a cotton pair of panties and you look so gorgeous.
Ellie has always found you to be beautiful. During patrols and on lookout, your hair had a shine to it that most people wouldn't care to think too much about, but Ellie always noticed it. Ellie always noticed the way your lips parted when you were zoned out, or how you walked like you always knew where you were going even on the paths that were mainly uncharted. You were so lovely-looking.
Now, nearly naked for her, she doesn't know if she can bare to blink even for a second. She is currently having a never-ending starting contest with your body, and she has to stop herself from pouncing on you. She wants to love you, not just fuck you.
Ellie is on her knees between your legs, hooking her fingers into the waistband of your underwear. Her eyes flicker over your body before looking to yours for confirmation.
"You sure you want this?"
"Please, Ellie. I want you." You know you sound desperate for her, but it can't be helped. You were soaked through your underwear, clit beating with need, and Ellie is just eyeing you like she wanted to devour you. She probably would, but she wants to save your clit for later.
She nods and slips your underwear down your legs, pulling them off of your ankles and throwing them behind her. The action made you giggle, but Ellie quickly squashed your outburst.
"Somethin' funny?" She asks, slipping a finger through your slick folds. You gasp and jolt.
"Hey, where the fuck is the warning, you cunt?"
She has to stifle her own laugh at your outburst, but she is growing tired of the cute giggles; if you laughed one more time, she'd be fucking you until you were limping-
"Sorry, pretty. I'm gettin' impatient." Her tone mkes you involuntarily clench. You rarely hear that tone, the serious one when she is either around someone she doesn't know and is keeping it professional or just not in the mood to joke. Now, you discover it's her horny tone, too.
You nod, tilting your head back to rest it on your frilly pillow. Finally, she slips two digits past your lips and you resist the urge to let a whorish whine slip past your lips. When she easily slides into your heat, you then can't resist.
Ellie's eyes are glued to your pussy like it's magic, watching your hips try to rise for more, feeling the way your walls tighten around her intrusion.
It's too much for her poor, fucked head to bare.
She is already as wrecked as you are. She wants to taunt you for the way you already look like you're going to cum from her barely brushing at your spongey g-spot, but she can't. She is probably in rougher shape right now.
"You feel so warm." It's all she can manage to get out, and she curls her fingers inside of you into upward, making you moan.
"I wanna cum, Els..please, more. Give me more." Ellie has never seen you this dumb for pleasure before, but who is she to deny you?
Her fingers aren't thrusting in and out or finger-banging you, just slowly sliding through your cunt, her fingertips stroking where you need them to. You feel so full, so complete. You hope she does this every single day from here on out.
It doesn't take long to get you into a state of complete bliss, and you haven't even climaxed yet. Your legs aren't clamping down, rather spreading wider as if you're begging for her to take you in the most obscene ways possible, fill you up with more than just her fingers. If only she you two were currently at her house, she has that unopened strap-on box... maybe for another day.
The knot that builds in your stomach, the temperature of it overheating your insides is about to snap. You're begging as if Ellie is teasing you or something. You're whining, and you look like you're about to start sobbing if she pauses her pace even for a nanosecond. She just wants to gives you everything, thinks you deserve the whole world, so she leans forward and intertwines her fingers with yours as her other fingers pump deep inside you, and you swear it's rearranging your guts. You wanna be wrecked so damn badly.
"You keep fluttering around me, gonna cum?" She asks, and you whine and nod.
Your orgasm soon hits you like a tsunami, once in a crash and then it simmers throughout you in waves. This is probably the hardest you have ever came. You gasp onto her hand tight, squeezing her fingers. You can't even speak or you'd be howling her name. It feels so euphoric and you wonder how it can get any better than this.
When you come down from the peak, she eases her fingers out of your tender insides and licks her ring finger clean. Then, she settles her hips between your legs, bringing her soaking middle finger to your lips.
"Open up."
You do so without question, tasting yourself on her digit before she swiftly pulls her finger away with a "pop!"
"I taste weird," you mumble and she rolls her eyes, mumbling a little "fuck you" before sitting up to strip out of her flannel.
You feel maybe a little nervous before. Something about the thought of feeling her in such an intimate way makes you feel even more fluttery inside. You've been with women before, you are far from a virgin, but you've never clashed clits before (omfg what). Most girls thought it was just a porn thing.
"You okay?" Ellie pauses, her flannel on the bed and a black t-shirt layer underneath it.
"Yeah," you mean it, "just a little nervous."
Her eyes soften, and she takes your hand and squeezes it. "I promise I'll be slow with you. I'm not gonna rush you into this, and if you want, we can always stop."
You feel more assured now, and you smile. "Okay."
When she finally strips out of her clothing, you take her in. She is breath-takingly beautiful. Her body is pale but covered in tan freckles, and her nipples are perky with arousal. Her shoulders and collarbone look so fucking kissable. You're still in a daze as she hooks a leg over yours, her warm cunt only an inch or two away from yours. She hovers.
"You ready?"
"I want you, so yes."
That makes her smile, and she slowly eases down onto you, her folds rubbing up against yours and both of your neglected clits finally getting the attention they deserve. Both of you are already moaning and Ellie leans down onto you, her tits brushing against yours as she kisses you deeply.
This kiss is slower than the first, less desperate but just as emotional. It's hungry and consumes you in a sensual way. Her hips grind against yours, her slick mixing with your soaked pussy to make you only whine into her mouth.
Now you understand how intimate this is. You feel so connected to Ellie in a way you hope you never get to feel with anyone else. You wanna always be this close. You think that even after this ends, you'll feel that tie to her body and heart, always leading you back to her.
When you both cum together, it's much different than what she gave you before. You can feel her tense up with you, hear her shaky breaths and moans, and you feel a warmth inside of you reminding you that she feels this way because of your pussy, because of her feelings for you. It's making you obsessive to feel this way.
When the high fades, she collapses on top you. You're both breathing heavily for a few minutes. Her breath is against your neck and it feels like a kiss. Your brain is thinking of something stupid now that the horniness is over.
"Isn't it obvious that I'm your girlfriend now?"
Ellie laughs and squeezes you tightly.
"Yeah. You're my girlfriend now, and I'm not letting you go."
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#tlou2#ellie tlou#ellie williams#ellie the last of us#ellie x fem reader#ellie x reader#ellie smut#the last of us part 2#cheyisagirlkissermailbox#requests
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THANKSGIVING MOOTIE APPRECIATION ❤️✨❤️
Happy thanksgiving y'all! And a good time zone to all my non-US/non-Turkey day havers lovelies!
Tis the season of thanks and I'm a very thankful goober this year! I only started getting active on Tumblr about half a year ago and there's already so many people and things I'm grateful for from this site alone! I've enjoyed so much art and events, participated in yap seshes, tag games, and ultimately felt pretty welcomed and at home on this site, and it's thanks to all you! <3<3<3
Special thanks to the DCA fandom in its entirety as well! All the discussions, artists, writers, and shared reposts with all the silly notes are awesome! Y'all inspire me all the time and make me wish I was more outgoing than I am just so I can say hello to each and every one of you!!!!
The list gets long, so for the sake of those scrolling by, I have put it below! Have a lovely day everyone! <3333
@midnight-mourning Your writing is just wonderful. It's everything!!! I adore it so much and your CS boyos have wormed their way into my heart and refuses to leave. Some of my favorite songs even remind me of them! (Don't tell Moon this but I am very attached to CS Sun-)(Honestly gotta be my favorite Sun I've read fr fr) Also! Thank you for just being so supportive, thinking about me in tag games, and giving ALL the tag notes! They're a wonder to read and have me bounce off the walls! I'm always so happy we're mooties! ❤️❤️❤️ (Also, fun fact, you're my first mutual too! It's insane to me HOW DID THIS HAPPEN GUAHPHIAHDKA)
@pointyfruit You! Your art? Muah, wonderful. I don't even care if it's not dca related because it's so good. The shape language, art style, and just unique takes on just anything and everything blows my mind! Let's not forget COLORS. Oml they are so PRETTY. It's like an explosion I never want to end. 💥💥💥 Also! So goofy, so silly, and COTL enjoyer! Let's GOOOOO!!! I don't engage with the fandom much but I DO love the game and honestly I almost beat it, but still have not because I don't wanna do the final boss fight. It can't be over bros... Anyways when I see your posts I always wanna just wave like a neighbor seeing ya blow up 10 boxes of fireworks on a casual Tuesday afternoon. 👋👋👋:D
@divinit3a SPINS YOU!!! 🐶🐕🐶 Heya silly meister! In the midst of reading your work, gotta say? Muwah, Perfecto! The sillies are putting me on a rollercoaster and I'm stuck on the ride! While my ability to yap is a coin flip every hour, you happen to bring the yappening out of me with all the fun notes and posts you do--We've already had so many fun convos! Speaking of posts, the art is peak and will STAY peak! The designs? Muwah. The colors? Muwah. You make even the creepiest of goobers hauntingly beautiful! We've may not have known each other for long, but you're someone I look forward to seeing on my dash/notifications every time I open the app! ❤️❤️❤️
@sinister-sincerely Hi!!!! I'm still sometimes in awe realizing we're mutuals! I really love your work and if I'm in the mood to read something but I don't know what, I tend to turn to Aftersome often, even though I've read both the og and the rewrite! It's like you're the master of writing angst, bitter unrequited feelings, and the strange tenseness but want of confusing relationships. It's gut wrenching and I wish I could write something so evoking! All your stories are amazing and I seriously hope you know that, they're such heavy hitters that they have marked a place in my memory. ❤️ Your art too is wonderful! They don't pop up often but when they do it's a real treat! I love that you use grey scale in a lot of your works and the style is just so pleasing to look at. Whenever I see the DCA in your style I wanna give them the biggest hugs, even if they'd pry me off seconds later! ✨✨✨
@r0b0s-robos / @r0b0-wannabe Waving at you excitedly!!! It's always a pleasure to see your reposts, you always find the good stuff! Plus, you always are trying to help out others and it's amazing to see, your efforts are able to make great impacts. :333 You're also another writer I appreciate immensely, and I'm so invested in your botanist au. The sillies and their botanist who is desperately trying not to fall in love with them!!! ADORE THEM!!! I can't wait to read more! ❤️❤️❤️ The times you post about writing ideas or silly things about the DCA has me nodding my head with a smile. Also, the little notes you leave in tags, despite usually being brief, always makes me so happy! It's like seeing the kind stoic look at you from their seat, let out a small smile, and say "I love this"- and then suddenly it's a blast of blinding white light of endearment straight to my heart. K.O.!
@chickenchirps27 Welcome back!!! I've noticed you've been much more active recently and it's always fun to see what you got goin on! Obligatory art mention, but it would be criminal to NOT mention it. ITS!!! AMAZING!!! THEY LOOK LIKE ROCK CANDY!!! Colors!!! I love it so much, the goobers look delicio- I mean they look adorable and masterfully crafted in each piece of art! And your sona, ugh, she's so gorgeous and alien in the best ways possible. I've never seen anything like her and I am in awe of how you came up with all her little details. Those mantis arms are SICK and I want them!!! (Though drawing may be a little hard if I had em-)✨✨✨
@amarynthian-fortress / @amarynthian-chronicles Hehehe! Boops you! >:D Honestly, thank you for always being the biggest sweetheart around and being so welcoming. You're one of the people that made me feel able to crack my shell more and be more active on here! Your writing is whimsical, your reposts and comments are always so kind and feel-goody, and you just always show you care and the randomest times! Catch me off guard why don't you! I love all the snippets and treats you post, and I'm saving many of your stories to read for rainy days! ❤️❤️❤️
@ping-ski My reaction to us becoming mutuals was- 💥💥💥:OOOOO💥OO💥💥 I think I've followed you right when I started getting active on here and gah, your art is wonderful. So lovely, stylized, and colored so simply yet so appealingly that I can't stop looking. Your aus make me want to read them and their designs are always top tier! Also, I cannot forget to mention you are SILLAY!!! So silly! Your comments on reposts are goofy and I love to read them whenever they come up on my dash! Not to mention your own posts- I will never forget the 3-in-1 solid block of dca encased in ice. I was in awe of seeing them encased and I suddenly wanted my own dca ice cubes to put into a drink and try not to choke on. ✨✨✨
@quilteddreamz Your writing. Oh my GOSH your writing! It's wonderful, beautiful, gah, I can't wait for your advent calender! I wish I could do something for it but I got 3 more weeks of large projects tapped to my back. I am sending much luck your way and know that I am excited to enjoy some daily dca! Don't break yourself over it too! I may adore the goobers but you're most adored first! Take care and keep being such a whimsical person! Muwah! ✨✨✨
@flowysgonemad You are also! Silly!!! You are so fun to see popping around my dash and your doodles just make me go :333 every time! I love your aus and you're a very kind/goofy person! I don't even remember how we became mutuals but garsh diggity dang it, it's awesome to see ya and anything you yap about!
There are MANY more mooties I want to appreciate and show off, but I fear I am currently omw to go to a large thanksgiving dinner and I'm expecting to be there for the rest of the day. SO! If you weren't listed, please know that I AM thinking of you! Have a wonderful time zone, and just know that my heart is so full knowing that you're all there! I can't believe there is that many of you to begin with that I can't fit you all within the time frame! (Would you believe me if I said coming up with all the right words to say here took me 2 1/2 hours?)
So! To all my beloved writers, artists, and sillies alike! From the bottom of my heart, really, thank you! For being here, even reading this, and appreciating the things I do as much as I appreciate you! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️✨✨✨✨✨✨
#thanskgiving#mutuals#mutual appreciation#Happy thanksgiving y'all!!!#Y'all are amazing people!!!#Thank you to the community in general for being so kind and welcoming too! ❤️❤️❤️#Y'all should check out the people tagged here if you don't know em! They're all wonderful Fr fr!#dca community#dca fandom#Yapping#Mootie patooties
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@larluce Thank you for the tag and for the rec!!! You are amazing too! I can't believe I'm working on our second collab!!!! 1. How many works do you have on AO3? 31! 13 of which are Melin the rest are from YEARS ago.
2. What’s your total AO3 word count?
297,340
3. What fandoms do you write for?
Currently just Merlin. There is one dragon age fic I MIGHT eventually go back to but merlin for the forseeable future!
4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos? Fever Talk
Treat Me Warmly
Better Than Burning Merlin Enchanted (my first colab with Larluce)
Unthinkable All of these are what I tend to stick too for my fics that are below 40K+ Aka a mixture of fluff, Hurt/confort, angst, banter, whump, ETC with a happy ending. The next one would be one of my long fics XD
5. Do you respond to comments?
Consitering how happy they make me! Yes Every one!
6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
I'll be honnest with you! It would be in my old fics for the Dragon Age Fandom and not Merlin. I tend toward happy endings for Merlin fics. Likely Forget me not or Good Boy
7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
Uhhhhhhhh UHHHHHHHHH UHHHHHH Well Most of my merlin ones have happy endings? If we're going least traumatized Um PERHAPS treat me warmly?
8. Do you get hate on fics?
Oh not really hate but I got this one person commenting on my longfics that Merlin deserves better because arthur would go back to gwen if he could and that they don't like gwen. Like I'm sorry but my Arthur returns series is my love letter to the cannon version of the show in my mind. I'm not going to pretend Arthur never loved Gwen Even if the fic's main paring is Merthur, And even if I belive Gwen would be more likely to love Arthur but stay with the man she remarried (Who she also loved because In my mind she married again to a noble she loved for secrity AND LOVE because I want her to be happy in her life) and knew into old age in the afterlife.
9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?
I include sex scenes in longfics usually and if asked for a request. I do not think its what I am best at but I do my best!!!
10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? NOPE!
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
NOPE!
12. Have you ever had a fic translated? I am borning and only speak english but I would never say no to this!
13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?
with @larluce I'm actualy currently about to do my first edit of our second colab! 14. What’s your all time favourite ship? MERTHUR
15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?
When I started writing merthur I had a rule that I do not publish any of a fic until I am done with the entire thing. I do have some drafts however One is my version of What happens post cannon during gwen's reign. I Don't think I'll ever finish it because I'm CRAZY about merthur. and having Merthur in a fic helps keep me going with it.
16. What are your writing strengths? I like to think I am good at keeping In character, Besides that Dialouge and feelings I think. I like to know my characters deeply and be able to keep them fairly close to their cannon versions. Of course characters have LOTS of cannon versions depending on which time in cannon and how the story affects them. BUT still its somthing I like to focus on
17. What are your writing weaknesses? Problubly having enough decription. I'm NOT a super visual thinker so yeah. 18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?
Normally it should be translated or knowlable. Spells are an exeption
19. First fandom you wrote for? Um I was not in any fandom but I wrote a LOTR spoof in elementary school
20. Favorite fic you’ve written? Oh easy. Our Stars Still Shine Together was my first long merlin fic and the first that I wrote after realizing I could write again
@shanastoryteller @shana-rosee @catsconflictscopicsandchamomile @calamity-talvi @247merthur
@saurix5 @groundbreakingdot872
Twenty Questions for Fanfic Writers
Thank you @liviapeleia for the asks <3!!
Tagging longtime frond @breadkween, fabulous runner of @merlinmicrofic @queerofthedagger (thank you!) and reader and writer who's left me lovely comments @achillesuwu. @mythandmagic, Ao3 is down rn so I can't check but if you have any fics yourself, here's an ask game for you! There's no obligation, presh or time limit of course! Also like @liviapeleia said before me, consider yourself tagged if you see this!
1. How many works do you have on AO3?
11
2. What’s your total AO3 word count?
265,960
3. What fandoms do you write for?
Right now just Merlin. I've written for other fandoms in the past but each of those works have been standalone.
4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
Always His Destiny | Merlin | A true love's kiss, resurrection and golden age AU written for Glompfest 2024.
Like Every Tree Stands On Its Own | Merlin | A longfic inspired by other Arthurian media/sources featuring Wildman Prophet!Merlin and a magical forest. This is my magnum opus.
What's Mightier Than a Sword and Robs a Prince of His Servant? | Merlin | Pre-slash Merthur minor canon-divergence in which Merlin's talents in speech writing land him a promotion and Arthur is Not Pleased™.
Only Human | Venom | A short gift/exchange fic about masturbation, lol. The fic I received in exchange was also about masturbation. In my defence this was a writing exercise (I promise).
The Sky Is Falling | Nightvale | Unfinished fic about alcoholism recovery, love, community and the complete collapse of reality.
...Okay wow what a mix :D
5. Do you respond to comments?
I really love comments and I love getting into discussions with readers! It really makes my day to see that someone has commented on one of my fics.
6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
Am I allowed to choose a soon to be published WIP? Words Are Dead, a microfic inspired by the Agnes Obel song of the same name in which Merlin and Arthur are unable to communicate when Arthur returns. Merlin has lost Brythonic, his first language, and his capacity to relearn it. He's simply been alive for far too long and his mind has suffered :(
7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
Like Every Tree has a prolonged bittersweet kind of ending but I think Always His Destiny wins.
8. Do you get hate on fics?
Nope/not yet!
9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?
Yes, though so far it hasn't been the focus of any of my works, there's no reason why that can't change though (the Venom one doesn't count, I make the rules here). As to what kind I'd say loving and intimate, I guess? Sometimes with a bit of a hurt/comfort element to it. Again, no reason why I can't branch out in the future ;)
10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?
While not labelled as a crossover, Like Every Tree was heavily inspired by Arthurian media both new and old, and one medieval Irish source. I did so much research for this fic and I'm still down those various rabbit holes. It was a homage to my favourite, janky cartoon movie from my childhood Quest for Camelot. Otherwise I don't write proper crossovers.
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
Don't think so.
12. Have you ever had a fic translated?
Also don't think so.
13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?
No but I would love to!
14. What’s your all time favourite ship?
I guess it really has to be Merthur! I don't recall a ship ever having such a hold on me. Those two are doomed but made for each other. The way they interact is so much fun to read/write.
15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?
Damn, this is definitely Be Here When the Weather Turns, a Mushi-shi fic. It has a very soft, restful and liminal vibe and I adore it. I really do wish I can finish it someday. So sometimes like a song, you share a piece of media with someone, or you associate it with a particular chapter in your life, and that song/piece of media brings up feelings. I'd like to think it's still worth a read. If you don't know Mushi-shi, please consider checking it out, it was weird and quiet and beautiful.
16. What are your writing strengths?
I can't deny that I put a lot of love into this hobby. Also @breadkween has told me that they really like my dialogue :3
17. What are your writing weaknesses?
I'm really prone to typos. I can re-read something a hundred times and just fail to see them. I'm a very slow writer; what I put out usually goes through months of edits and change-ups. Lastly I have embraced a faux-pas or two for fun, such as starting sentences with 'and.' And no one can stop me >:)
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?
I'd only be comfortable writing dialogue in a language I've formerly learned and have some level of familiarity with for fear of getting something wrong.
19. First fandom you wrote for?
Okay I love this question because the answer is the highly formative Garth Nix's Keys to the Kingdom series, a YA series I was obsessed with, and have continued to read, and re-read as an adult and as unexpected prequels and sequels popped up in more recent years. I wrote it on a literal floppy disk :D First fandom I wrote for that I actually published online was Undertale.
20. Favorite fic you’ve written?
Definitely Like Every Tree. I'm just really proud of it :3
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Alright, here it is, the totally unasked for review of Irish Wish from a woman who does not have the time to be doing it but can't stop thinking about it SO HERE WE ARE.
The Worst Movie on Netflix right now is Lindsay Lohan in Irish Wish.
Alright, so if you don't know the premise, I will recap for you. Lindsay plays Maddie, a book editor who has edited a bestselling novel on behalf of this uber wealthy and allegedly Irish dude Paul Kennedy who is a bestseller (whether he was a bestseller before or after Maddie helped him on this, his second book, is unclear, but I refuse to debate it). She has a huge adult lady girl crush on this man, but has not told him yet.
Our movie, such as it is, begins at his book launch where Maddie is girding her loins to try to tell him how she feels---and instead he winds up vibing with her gal pal Emma. FAST FORWARD and Emma and Paul are getting married. And Maddie is miserable and still pining. So she manages to make a wish to a wish-granting (Catholic?*) Saint Bridget that she wishes she were marrying Paul instead. AND THEN HIJINKS ENSUE.
Here's the CRAZY thing -- that there is a world-altering wish granted by some random Irishy fairy/saint is the least logically offensive thing to happen in this insane, inhuman, bizarre series of events that we're calling a "movie."
I mean less than 5 minutes into the movie, Maddie is having a speakerphone conversation with her mom in the bathroom of the book launch where she is openly speaking about her feelings for Paul.
What is she a boomer!? BUT ALSO you hope your mom in fucking IOWA (Jane Seymour, cashing checks) has not told anyone about your feelings for Paul that you are discussing on SPEAKERPHONE in the bathroom AT PAUL'S BOOK LAUNCH!?
Not two seconds later, a pair of extras leave the bathroom stalls and exit the bathroom behind her. And she doesn't react in any concerned way. She does not react at all. Is she not worried about who just overheard her? Is she not embarrassed? Maybe these are friends of Paul who would be interested to know that his Editor has a crush on him!? We are in fact at his book launch!? This is a startlingly weird lack of reaction! Like......... we are less than 5 minutes into this movie and I am already wondering where basic human logic just went. WAS THERE NOT A SINGLE HUMAN PERSON ON SET OR IN THE EDITING ROOM WHO THOUGHT THIS WAS A PROBLEM!?
Alright, somehow, I have to get further into this movie than 3 minutes and 55 seconds.
So Maddie's gearing up to tell Paul her feelings and as soon as he sees her, he says he wants to talk to her about something important. And when they sit down together, he takes her by the hand, gazes deeply into her eyes with the sincere, smoldering look above, and says this: I feel like it's time we take our relationship to the next level. And she lights up. CAUSE THIS IS HER MOMENT AND SHE DIDN'T HAVE TO DO ANYTHING OR RISK ANYTHING! But then Paul just asks her to work with him on his next book. And she is devastated.
But here's the thing. WHO FUCKING SAYS THAT!? What man does that? THAT IS A TRASH MAN, MADDIE! He is obviously manipulating her to get what he wants. GET OUT OF THERE, MADDIE! GET OUT OF THERE!
The thing is the movie does not reckon or deal with this moment at all (because it is not a movie it is just a semblance of scenes). When the movie fasts forward and Paul is marrying Emma, we're meant to believe that Maddie is still friends with him, works with him, and admires him. The MOVIE ITSELF never questions this---is Paul a sincere authentic dude who was just oblivious to how he was coming over? Or was he screwing her over!?
I don't need a fucking idiotic Saltburn-style reveal, but the movie should have a fucking opinion about this and it should be reflected in it. It should be there in the mise-en-scene, the costuming, the subtext, SOMEWHERE. But this is not a movie, it is just a semblance of scenes.
I have written many words, and I am 7 minutes into the movie. So I am going to take a break and come back to his.
============= LUNCH BREAK ============
Alright, look, there are about 90 more minutes left in this movie and there are just dozens and dozens more moments like this where people do things and say things that just defy logic or are otherwise untreated and unacknowledged by the narrative. Parts of this movie approximate real life, but they don't come near it.
Rachel Handler over at Vulture does a granular breakdown (and still misses things cause omg this movie is a mess!) that you can check out here. She suggests that this movie could only have been written by AI. I get where she's coming from.
So much of this movie includes rom-com tropes like it's ticking off boxes rather than adding value to the overall story. For example, Maddie is repeatedly portrayed as a klutz---tripping over things, nearly breaking things. Why? I'm too tired to even be mad about this. Just.... why?!
The common wisdom is that gorgeous actresses need to be more relatable to audiences and making them klutzy is an easy shorthand for relatability.
The thing is this trope---and so many rom-com tropes---are deeply offensive to the women who make up much of the target audience. I mean JFC, gorgeous women can be single! For so.many.reasons. And I don't know about you, but I don't need an absurd narrative justification for why that might be that diminishes the main character and makes her look silly.
I mean, I'm a fuckup, but I don't get into a tug-of-war battle at the airport over luggage. (wtf, why didn't she just look at the fucking bag tag? This is insane behavior! Is this a sad little attempt at humor!? Barely 11 minutes into the movie now!).
The theme of this movie, to the extent there is one, (TO THE EXTENT THIS IS A MOVIE AT ALL) is that Maddie needs to learn to speak up for herself to get the things she actually wants. But she spends half the movie saying MY MOM WILL FIX IT! Just wait until my mom gets here!
Again, how is this a likeable or interesting character trait? It's one thing for a character to need to speak up for themselves. But there is something remarkably juvenile about a character who repeatedly says her mom will fix it.
In her review, Handler notes how unbelievably sexless this movie is and I 100% agree and noticed it immediately. To the extent that Maddie suddenly wakes up in the exact world she wants, she is remarkably embarrassed about getting the thing---THE MAN---she wants. She seems obviously afraid to kiss him, and "accidentally" (massive side-eye) kicks the shit out of him when she finds him in her bed.
It's like the movie doesn't want her to want anything. While simultaneously telling us she doesn't ask for the things she wants.
By the way, this is an insane contrast to the recent Netflix movie Players in which Gina Rodriguez spends the whole movie asking for the things she wants, pursuing it, and getting it. Fuck yeah, Gina.
I'm not saying a movie has to be sexual to be romantic or to work or anything like that. I'm saying don't be so fucking coy about it that you're inadvertently telling women that sex is NOT a part of love or that you're telling women they should be ashamed of desiring someone emotionally and physically. That's fucking ridiculous puritan SHIT.
Alright, this is the rare review that I have not thoughtfully organized in humorous stages. There's really just too much here to mine. There are the absurd accents that Seamas O'Reilly noted and understands much better than me in his review for the Irish Examiner here.
He also noted the uncanny valley of the location that feels totally phony the whole way through. And probably for good reason. I mean, first of all, we're supposed to believe that this candy pink dock is a real fucking place in Ireland??????
(Allegedly the lake is real, but fuck me I hope the dock is fake!!)
And honestly, of course it's fucking FAKE. Not sure if you can see the planter of flowers that are supposed to be just wild in the landscape, but I sure could.
But you don't really need evidence to tell you that everything about this movie is a contrived, fake, phony mess.
And here, ultimately is the problem.
Irish Wish is an objectively bad movie. I mean, I don't really care that there are always going to be tons of people whining about how 'it's a fun movie!' and 'it's just not that deep!' Like FUCK OFF. HAVE SOME FUCKING STANDARDS IN YOUR LIFE. It's a bad movie.
But there's almost zero way for this to impact Netflix's assessment of what works and what doesn't on their network and what they should invest in moving forward.
According to some sources, Players (a perfectly fine, predictable movie with good actors, okay writing, and actual production values) had 16.3 million views on the first week. Irish Wish had 19.5 million. Netflix has no way to determine whether one is of better quality than the other. It rewards the shitty writing, shitty production, equally, if not more.
I didn't get so mad after watching Irish Wish that I canceled my subscription. No, I just recognized that, 'oh hey, Physical 100 has a new season out next week.' So I just waited for that and watched the next thing on Netflix.
Sigh. And honestly, Irish Wish is so bad it's kind of fucking hilarious to watch, so maybe that's worth something here. Hard to argue with that.
I don't want to declare a genre dead, but we're running so hard in the wrong direction in the world of rom-com, that it's becoming painful to love these movies. It doesn't help that critics constantly give low ratings to rom-coms because of their predictability instead of understanding that being predictable is an essential part of the genre. But there's still a stark difference between Players and Irish Wish and I don't think that's properly reflected in a 4% audience score differential on Rotten Tomatoes. Like... what are we even doing here guys!? HAVE SOME STANDARDS, I AM BEGGING YOU.
But I do love this genre. I really do. I love these movies. I don't know what it's going to take to save them. But I can tell you one thing.
We can't count on Lindsay Lohan doing it for us.
*I am not getting into the religious implications here cause I'm an atheist Jew, so leave me out of this.
#ptpt reviews#fucking hell this is a#long post#sorry i guess#don't @ me#i honestly do not care#players is good#not nearly as good as someone like you#but gina rodriguez is still super charming#i feel like there are a lot more tags for this that i am forgetting#but i gotta get back to work#so over everything
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“… I actually feel happy.“
@gothic-mothic….. ur narrator…. i hope i did him some justice its hard coloring a man with one color and trying to make him scruffy….
#i glamorized him…. i apologize…. starts sobbing#ANYWAY I SAW UR STANLEY POST AND WAS LIKE….. theyre in this together i think#GOD. i need both of them to rest…. restt#tsp#my art#styxarts#the stanley parable#tspud#the stanley parable ultra deluxe#tsp narrator#the narrator#zending#AS ALWAYS. CLICK FOR BETTER QUALITY PLLEASSEE#anyway friend if youre still reading these tags hiii i love you a lot and ur narrator so funky#and ur stanley cant forget him hes what started this thing#anyway i love you and ur style and i hope i brought ur narrator bbg to justice i feel like i didnt grgrggrgrhrgrgruuggh#biting you and shaking you around…. lovingly before i tackle hug you and give you more flowers 💐 or something idk im not gay like that#actually i take rhat back. i am gay like that. im so gay for you I LOVE YOU SO MUCH MY LOVE MY GRACE MY FRIEND OHH YOU BEAUTIFUL MAN
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My gift for the @technoblade-gift-exchange !! i was assigned to @simplepotatofarmer who asked for dsmp rivals duo. i hope you like it Loyal!
rambling about headcanons, designs, and my process and stuff under the readmore, because i wanna talk about it but dont want the post to be super long !!
i had originally planned to not have a background and then at the last second i decided to speedrun drawing one in a few hours so um. quality difference but its fine. also unrelated but im pretty sure everything about how i draw animals and anthros makes it very obvious i used to be in the warrior cats fandom lol. anyway onto the designs!!
the gold on techno is scars from the totem at the execution, which i think is a pretty common thing for techno designs. he isnt supposed to be a piglin, but rather similar species of anthropomorphic pig. also his mane and tail fluff are naturally brown but he dyes them pink ^_^ so cool !! um. i maaayyy have forgotten the crown until i was way too far into the piece to add it. haha. oops. pretend its missing because. uuh. hes in a casual outfit. "but he still has the cape" yeah its comfy. "but dream has a mask thats not casual" dream is dream he does Not relax fully ever. see entirely intentional i would never make a mistake.
dream is an original shapeshifter species i came up with because i couldnt decide what i wanted him to be. i havent decided on a name for the species yet but i plan to make almost every solid-color or nearly solid color mcyt into this species. theyre mostly involuntary/unconscious shapeshifters. so like they change slowly over weeks or months to adapt to their surroundings, with little conscious control. basically i wanted him to be like five different things so i shoved them together lol, rabbit ears but in a pattern that looks like an axolotl, a cool tail, TOE BEANS tho you cant see them. this was actually the first time ive ever had a dream design im happy with so thats really nice.
i um. i made full use of my time lol, i spent a bit over a week on the lineart, another week on the coloring, and maybe a week and a half on rendering. unless i suddenly became shit at math(which is possible) that adds up to roughly the amount of time i had to work on it. im really proud of myself actually since i usually take a while to do art, and i wasnt sure i would be able to make something id be happy with in this amount of time. but i did! woah!! this was my first time participating in a fandom gift exchange and it was so fun, and also helped motivate me to draw more instead of getting distracted like i usually do (classic adhd moment) lol. anyway super cool!!
Loyal if u decided to read all this for some reason then again i really hope u like it!! u are so cool and i really love ur rivals duo opinions and creations so i hope u like this! i know theres been shit happening lately, i hope ur doing ok!!
#technoblade#dreamwastaken#rivals duo#dream smp#dreblr#technogiftexchange#<- thats the tag right?#also wow i think i said too many words. i dont think anyone else rambled that much about their gift. um. in my defense the only thing more#powerful than my written language learning disorder is my adhd and autism. so. yeah. lots of words.#aaaaaa i feel like how i wrote everything is so awkward. i am just a creature imitating others i have no idea how to interact with people..#hmmm. posting now before anxiety gets the better of me!#edit: wait fuck i forgot my art tag. how do i ALWAYS forget my art tag.#chara makes things
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what if i dont want toxic yaoi. what if i want toxic bara. ever think about that?
#i was looking at games tagged visual novel and bara on itch and man. a lot of them look good but they all seem very. safe?#i personally feel more pulled towards visual novers that are either a bit horror or tragedy oriented#or maybe both#and theres plenty of that in yaoi and yuri but what if i want that but bara#am i being too picky#i think i am#i have so many games i want to play on itch but the thing with indie games is that theyre usually good in a way that make them#emotionally exhausting in a good way but like i cant play through them too fast#also i keep forgetting they exist
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.
#just realized im jumpy and cheery when im around people to the point where i could come off as a kind of emotional person#but like. most of it is just masking? like most of the time its just my trained response to what i think is a social cue#and trying to figure out tone based on how people talk. so i tend to add an excessively positive tone so that i don't come across as mean#but like. my natural self is a lot more subdued.#of course there are highs and lows and a lot of the time im just zoning out and forgetting anything or anyone exists#and usually when i am hyperactive it's less the stereotypical adhd jumpiness and more... anger and frustration#i get jittery and idk what im talking about and it's not. fun.#and because i feel like it takes this additional work to kind of... be around people i tend to really enjoy my time alone#and i also. kind of suck at making friends irl. i just cannot approach people first#anyway idrk where this was going but being on tumblr all these years n especially now that i have such wonderful friends here im realizing#that im actually not as introverted as i thought. im just discouraged at the thought of having to decipher shit out with people#im truly a yapper at heart xD#but im also not as overwhelmingly positive as i seem#i just want people to know i love them. even if i really do overcompensate to show it#yeah. some self awareness stuff ig#megumi in the tags
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OH YEA GUESS WHO FINALLY REMEMBERED TO POST ART
They weren't requested or anything, I just felt like doing them
These two belong to @smithanonsworld , and I totaly hadn't had them ready and sitting around for ages
Woman was supposed to be in black, but it wasn't working out, so I had to go with a different color
#I think it's pretty obvious I never actually draw men#but it's fine ig#feeling low energy but am gonna try to do more art posts#I have a lot of stuff I wanna put on ip#I just need to do some other stuff first#anyway#bisc art#bisc rambles#bisc rambling#my art#crappy ip art#something something tag#I feel like i'm forgetting something#whatever
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so uh.
i saw the news this morning and sparklecare is going 18+ and. to say im shattered would be an heavy understatement.
dont get me wrong, i understand why kneeby took this decision. but come on, i feel like it shouldve been 18+ from the beggining, not a third into the comic's public release. after many now "underage" people got foxated on it and have had 6yrs (reboot) to start reading it, and especially not after building a community, a fandom, that is mostly composed of autistic people that lowkey rely on it in their everyday life;;;;;
sparklecare was everything to me. everything.
(more personnal stuff and opinions under cut, i just needed to vent and let go. read tldr at bottom if lazy.)
it has been my main hyperfixation for more than a year and a half now. literally all i think about, all day. my only consistent fixation and the first one that lasted as long as it did since years, and was so prominent in my life. genuinely my only constant source of happiness that would help me through the hardest moments of the past nearly two years, and now its.. out of reach, gone, until i turn 18 in two years.
i hate to say this. i hate it so much, but its so, so disappointing. why was this comic, which is mostly aimed at mentally ill people lets not lie to ourselves (literally every single person i met within the community was autistic/nm and taken aback in the best way possible by the amout of mental health awareness and representation in the comic and it's AUs), taken back halfway through, after it has now become thousands of people's hyperfixation, and for the most, a life altering one..? its. so sad. ive been shaking all day i dont want it taken away from me, not now. not so soon.
as i said previously i understand kittycorn's decision n everything but considering the ENORMOUS amount of trigger warnings for literally evrrything on the site (which im not complaining about dgmw!!! i think its great to have sm and for everyone's triggers :] but you cant deny that not every warning is necessarily triggering to the biggest amout of peole reading it), -
- ,it feels like making the comic, the AUs, the fandom, LIKING the characters, and engaging in the community ALL 18+ ALL OF A SUDDEN in the middle of it is... too much?;
it may just be my opinion but considering how heavily everything is triggered, and how every slightly bloody/nsfw joke scene has a clean transcript avaible to replace it, it's kinda silly to me that everything has to be 18+ now.... kit's blogs i can understand, shes an adult and may not feel comfortable with engaging with minors anymore and that i understand and respect 100%!. but making all her previous current and future content and ocs un-likable by minors, even stuff that was released before TheGreatMinorBan™, considering how many people kin characters from sch, have it as their main hyperfixation and escape from the outside world, is way too much in my opinion, or the decision shouldve been announced and only enforced when a really triggering volume was about to get released(since now nobody can go back to make it 18+ from the start..). you can ask people to stop interacting personally with you or engage with your online profiles but taking away their hyperfixation for content that has been released for years without any real limit out of seemingly nowhere, after spending months teasing the future of your work.. is really disappointing. :/
i legit dont know what ill become for the next two years without sparklecare. i wouldve genuinely "unlucky-friend-of-hemera-that-has-their-limbs-attached-to-her" 'd myself if i hadnt stumbled accross it and idk how im expected to just? forget about it? for years untill i become 'of age' again to read.
i know lurking from alts is a thing but thats dogshit to me. i wanna interact with and be a part of the community, which is such an amazing one. i had sm art i wanted to make and share with the world. i dont want to not talk to anyone or pretend to be a person that i'm not to stay up to date with my favorite author's work and other bloggers' fanart surrounding it. feels scummy and would prolly hurt me more anyways.
tldr;
sch shouldve either been 18+ from the start - annoucned that itd become 18+ but kept at 15/16+ until the announcement of a RLLY triggering volume - or just kept at 16+ all along considering literally everything has trigger warnings anyways. idk it feels sooo shitty to develop an enourmous fixation on smth for years just for it to one day out of nowhere have it taken away from you in the middle of it's release because a character will verbally mentions j3rking 0ff in a volume released in 5yrs, and be expected to JUST FORGET IT EXISTS..
no hate for kc's decision, i understand and respect it, but it hurts like a bitch to have your fixation taken away from you, and in the middle of it too. ..
#sparklecare rant???#not bec posting#idk sparklecare was a part of my identity atp#how am i supposed to erase it from my brain and forget about it.#/gen. like rlly wtf am i supposed to do.#no hate towards kc decision its the more “mature” thing to do and i totally get that#but i cant hide that it hurts a lot. to have it become out of reach like that after keeping up w it for so long#oh god why is this so long#sparklecare#main tagging this cuz i want to know im not the only one who feels this way#please.
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What a good episode. Maaaaaan
#I can't even start I'd be here forever#It did take me in fact like one hour total to watch it lmoa. It sooooo good!!! The animation is very good#(albeit it's awfully low on brightness at times. But such seems to be the sin of lot of recent media unfortunately)#but I'm not even going to dwell on that. The plot / storytelling is so good. Sooooo god. I adore this arc.#Love the symbolism. I've been saying this for almost two years now (is it really been that long ever since these episodes came out... ) but#I want to write an analysis on the op & ed so baddd. The emphasis on the twilight this episode!!#Like the sun was setting on the detective agency. I love love love the hd. They're so cool in this episode and they're so cool in general.#I ADORE Jouno. I don't feel particularly strongly for sue/giku yet their scenes are so cute and funny. I see why people ship them.#Even Tetchou I don't usually care much about is so !!!!! I love all the hd so much fr!!!!!!!!!!#I love love love Jouno. Like much like it is for Akutagawa I'm very weak for characters that aren't really good people.#But they're still trying to be a better person than they were. And oftentimes they end up doing a terrible job!!#But the fact alone that they're //trying// has me ougheueueueu. Here in this episode you can see Jouno–#sliping very easily in his cruel / sadistic habits. But he is trying to be a person that cares for others! He made good actions in the past#and he will again in the future even though right now he's acting like this! Because improvement isn't linear! I love him tonsss#And DON'T get me started on the ada. Yosano's “Welcome” scene. I love women. I love women. Yosano please one chance#KENJI'S SCENE God I needed this. How could I forget the way this literllyyyyy rewinded my brain when I read the manga for the first time.#That scene is so deep and poignant and so so meaningful I. Oughhh#I am going to run out of tags am I not#Kyouka saving Atsushi!!!!!!! That scene is one of my all time favourites. It makes me soft to remember when the s4 trailer dropped–#I was so overjoyed for that bit of them holding hands :') Rightfully so!!! It's so cute.#Her coming back to save Atsushi. The “don't worry– I didn't kill them” direct towards Atsushi–#that is so so Akutagawa and it sends me insane hhhhhhgggggggggg#Kunikida!!!!! His “I'm not leaving anyone behind”!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm not precisely Kunikida's first fan but aaaaaahhh he makes me feel–#so much for him in this scene!!!!! Mmmhhh one last note would be. It bugs me a little how the ada is defined terrorist by the military–#forces starting this episode? I don't have space to elaborate properly but. An action to be considered terrorism must have clear political–#orientation and goal. Violence alone isn't enought to be defined terrorism. It's an incorrect use of the word#Up to the next episode!!! Can't wait to see more Atsushi 🥰🥰#random rambles#It's late now and probably most are asleep rn... Then I'll be queing my posts for tomorrow probably
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the prompt for my cloud 'three squeezes mean "i love you"' fic would fit aric jorgan from swtor so well........
#forgive me it's 2 am#i recently started the trooper origin story in swtor and that man has me chewing glass#i NEED him.#so. so bad.#i'm kinda tempted to write for him but it's a pretty niche fandom#and i feel like it's pretty far removed from what people follow me for#(although it is a bioware game if i remember correctly)#i have consumed a lot of fanfic over the past two (ish) days and i still need more#might be the time to do it myself#aethe speaks#swtor#(<< hesitant to tag it with this but hey. this blog is my house i can do what i want)#ALSO! before i forget#his romanced reunion in kotfe? delicious<33
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hadn’t really regressed in a While and i didn’t realize how much i missed/dareisay needed it until i had the free time and ability to do so over the last few days and i have to say. i’m feeling a bit better
#imagine that! the coping mechanism… helps!!! wow#Seven’s Small Thoughts#not tagging this as anything else bc this blog is really just a not-so-secret public diary#and im not really trying to gain any sort of following or participate in the community very much#i just wanna talk to the void abt regression every once in a blue moon y’know#i also feel like i don’t really belong in the community much/am not a Good Example of sfw agere since i’m very n/ s/ f/ w everywhere else#which is a double standard that i don’t hold others to but i feel like others will hold it against me??? and i’m just shy anyways#and not looking to interact. just wanna keep all this stuff tucked away in a side-blog#i also feel like a lot of the community likes to blog while actively regressed and i don’t wanna step in there as someone who isn’t#nothing wrong with it! at all! i just don’t have the capacity to since i go nonverbal when i regress. no thoughts head blissfully empty#anyways this wasn’t supposed to be a vent post let’s change the topic!#anywhooo what else did i come on here to say. oh yeah#i lowkey forgot how much regressing has helped me in the past until i was able to really indulge myself in it again recently#it’s so nice to just be small and hand someone else the reins and forget abt everything other than doing something you enjoy#maybe one day i’ll be at a point in my life where i can fully regress more freely and more often but for now i’ll take what i can get#i’m also excited because i’ve been thinking abt ordering a paci from this one specific seller#and yesterday saw that they’re dropping a new batch of fall/halloween themed ones today!!!#so now i’ve gotta make myself stay awake until 6pm so i can jump on it when they’re available#which is a small struggle considering my nocturnal sleep schedule but i will do it nonetheless#that crescent moon patterned one Will Be Mine#trying to decide between buttercup yellow and schoolbus yellow for the clip#i think i’m more drawn to the vibrancy of the schoolbus yellow honestly#eeeeeee i’m excited i’ve been wanting to treat myself to ordering from this shop for a g e s and im finally gonna do it
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Best 4 hours of my life, with the loml ♡
#googie 🐰#i know i always say this but i can never really explain the way i feel about him </3 it’s so hard to put into words#i feel so complete now god i love him so much 🥺!! even that is an understatement 😔#i think it was like? 10:30 pm when i saw the weverse notif... and now it’s past 3 am jdghbcbn#i felt so many emotions throughout everything (the wv live; the ig live; and then wv live again) but god.#i’m just way too happy that i got to see him again 🥺; i missed him a lot!#crazy how just yesterday afternoon i teared up watching a reel on ig about missing him </3 and then 6 hours later!!! he shows up 💖#lol and i had so many mini breakdowns bc of him 😭 he’s a flirt FLIRT huh 😔✋🏼! WHAT ABOUT MY WEAK LITTLE HEART SIR???#i really have no defence when it comes to jk </33... sigh. but he sang sooooo many songs 🥰🥰#including txt! svt! nwjns! i’m one happy bitch 🤩☝🏼#what a great day to be alive honestly! just hope that he gets some rest bc goddamn it’s nearly 7 am at sk now 💀#oh and!!!! WE GOT TO SEE BAM MY BABY AFTER SO LONG IM SQUEALING THEY ARE SO CUTE OMG#HOW DID I ALMOST FORGET TO MENTION THAT LIKE WHAT#it was such a bonus to see tae too 🤭#!!! i’m just really happy#i’ll add more tags later... i just want to fall asleep now bc my eyes literally can’t anymore lol#anyway... ik i’m being very delulu here but like. sorry if it bothers you; i’m like this. 🤡#will always be jeon jungkook’s bitch <3#bye bye ~ my eyes hurt 🙁#see you guys tomorrow and i love jungkook 😆... and y’all too <3
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I have 80 followers now. People stop following me challenge/hj
I mean, since you're already here, might as well check out my talented artist/fic mutuals:
@'chilei-the-hotsauce
@'lovelymoonmagic
@'buc-eebarnes
@'seraph-draws-stuff
@'mulderhiggins
@'cheezylueezy
@'here4dragons
@'bllaaaaarrgh
@'dont-talk-back-to-heapass
@'haapanjuuri
@'silvercaptain24
@'ohhhelios
#not actually tagging any of them cause i know they're almost all busy#and it would be more funny if they suddenly gained a lot of followers and didn't know why#if you do follow any of them tell them 🐛 sent you#void chatter#hmmm am i forgetting anyone?#i feel like I'm forgetting people#brain why you no cooperate with me this month#i don't wanna upset mutuals i forget to mention here :(#I FORGOT HAAPA HOW COULD I FORGET HAAPA. HAAPA IM SORRYYYYYYY
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ive been genuinely distressed about how bad my adhd has been this past month
#why did it take me 3 hours to make breakfast today. thats so embarrassing#i haev class in less than an hour and its killing me im so frustrated. thats 2 hours where i cant do anything#i am on the verge of just breaking down about it tbh because it never feels like i have enough time or energy#and it bothers me how much stimulation my brain needs constantly to the point where i cannot step away from socials cause my brain 'itches'#and when i do step away from socials my attention is so scattered that i forget what im doing#or it feels like there's zero cohesion to the step by step actions i need to take to finish a task#i hate adhd more than anything!! more than my trauma!! more than my physical issues!!#i normally leave these types of vents on my locked twitter but im feeling the tumblr tag complaints format lately lol#im just. so mad about how a lot of thinigs ive wanted to do in my life have been so so delayed because of my scattering interests -#-or that I really only have 4 hours in my day not occupied by me getting heavily distracted by something#fucking. oc projects from since i was 16 not coming into fruition ever. that is so . frustrating.
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