#if i was there u would know.
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I'm trying to get too into my own head about feeling ugly, but man, it's really trying to come after me. Oh my god.
#i have a feeling that i am intensely aware my body can only be enjoyed thru a dehumanizing type of fetishization and. i don't even BELIEVE#THAT but it feels real#fat trans disabled. it feels real.#all 3 of those things Well. u get told a lot abt ur body and how everyone else feels abt it#and like I'm also the fattest guy i know and i always feel like ppl dont get#that fatphobia literally does juat get worse the bigger u get. watched it happen to me#people used to treat me more like a human this is absolutely true#anyway#thats such a huge bummer but like its a real thing i deal with like idk#anyway who even reads my tag rants#im sure ppl do. and in a lurker way as well#and i always forget that ppl can juat read ur post and keep scrolling?#and then ppl will go 'saw ur post'and im like YOU DID????#and the inverse happens where ppl assume i saw their poats and didnt interact#if i was there u would know.
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she's singing in another room and my dog is asleep at my feet. my grandma asked me why i haven't found a man yet and i laughed. oh, you know. i like my house clean.
my girlfriend is also my man is also "my partner" if i'm in a professional setting. yesterday we went to a ren faire and a man mimed at me - you're together? and at my delighted nod, his baffled, you're gay? made me laugh. a woman with rainbow hair said i love the two of you together. you're both so beautiful it's absurd.
my dad introduced my partner as my "..... friend. or whatever" the other day. he knows we're dating. in the same way, i was never able to get my sister's husband to stop saying that's gay like it's 2008. he still uses the word fa***t, and my sister's defense of him has always been well, he's just kidding.
my lover and i dance to old music in a tiny kitchen. we judge new music together and take food critique very seriously. we watch love is blind before we fall asleep and agree that if they had a queer season, it would be bloody but also make for excellent tv. of fucking course queer people would know someone for only 2 weeks and agree to get married. what are you saying.
at a bar with friends, a man puts his hand on my wrist. got a boyfriend? and yes, i do have a boyfriend, she's amazing. i am texting her while i wander around a gas station named after geese. i am visiting a swing state for a wedding. in the candy aisle i overhear: she's actually like a lesbian it's disgusting. two teenage girls with packaged sandwiches in their hands, giggling. no literally, like. i'm not, like. okay with her being there while we're all, like, naked and changing.
my girlfriend and i tailgate, drink gin and cider out of cups. from the frat group beside us, a man corrects himself with one of his friends: bro, i mean, nonbinary entity, and it makes everyone around him laugh, myself included. he razzes his friend the same way i would have killed for at 19 years old - like nothing happened, he continues: you apply sunscreen like an alien. he does a little sassy (and fairly accurate) dance interpretation of the motion. his friend is laughing so hard they're crying.
i am lucky, i live in a safe neighborhood in a safe state. my masc passenger princess comes up from DC. i drive her for an hour to where all the leaves are a violent arrangement of color. we walk along the trails, letting autumn into our blood. in this part of the state, there's a lot of pickup trucks and trump signs. when we chastely kiss before getting into the car, i accidentally make eye contact with a woman holding her child's wrist. she looks disgusted. she looks fucking pissed.
two hours later my girl and i are eating dinner on a patio, soaking in the last warmth of new england sun before the chill of winter sets in. we are giggling and trying to talk through plastic vampire teeth. at another table, i see a young woman sit up straighter. i watch her watch us. she blushes and takes her partner's hand from across the table. shy, like the taste of evening has just become something deeper.
it's worth it for this moment, i think. my lover is still humming the same song she's been singing for four days straight and i don't want to kill her for it. her guitar is beside my bed. her toothbrush is in my bathroom. in a few moments i will make us lunch. we are lucky enough to have found each other. it is lucky enough to be in love.
#writeblr#wlw#i often think about like.....#being happy in a gay relationship is sometimes so odd#bc u can forget how stupid ppl are.#bc ur so USED to being gay. and u forget other people GENUINELY ARE homophobic#so it's like. girl pardon?????#but also there are moments where it's like. ohhh the kids are alright#like watching someone razz someone else.... so fucking wholesome#“lemme get this bitche's pronouns before i make gentle fun of them” .... i would have KILLED for that.#THAT is how u know ur accepted#not just tolerated#..... when ppl are like. sure ur nonbinary congrats but WHAT is this fucking sunscreen application#ps idk if "razz'' is a real word but someone asked what it means -#i've always heard it as being a term for 'gentle & friendly teasing'' which like#i personally notice more from my guy friends but is like - when a person isn't#LIKE ACTUALLY teasing u (it's nothing personal/mean) they're just laughing w/you about something#my friends often put on a little voice and call me an anemic little bitch#like 'ooooo the anemic little bitch is cold??? does she need a mouse blanket#bc she's SOOOO SMALL AND ANEMIC???''#and it doesn't hurt my feelings (it makes me laugh very hard) bc 1. i actually called MYSELF that first#and 2. i'm not sensitive about it!!!#a proper razz is when you are ALSO in on the joke - i ALSO think it's funny#for some people i personally find that when they razz u it's when they love u -#they've noticed something genuine about u and love u enough that u know they're not being mean#this is cultural and personality based of course but i'm hispanic#if someone isn't making fun of me it means they hate me . obviously.
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harry du bois steps up to the lectern in front of the crowd. "as a lesbian...." he pauses, looks at kim questioningly. kim shakes his head imperceptibly. harry looks back at the audience "...supporter"
#ace txt#do u see my vision#disco elysium#harry du bois#kim kitsuragi#i just know this would happen....
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to moving forward
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#jjk art#yuji itadori#gojo satoru#fushiguro megumi#nobara kugisaki#itadori yuuji#megumi fushiguro#jjk spoilers#satoru gojo#jjk manga spoilers#hina.comic#before any1 says anything i KNOw his birthday is in december ik ik ik this is just 2 show some post-battle bonding after the trauma#its winter in canon n megumi's birthday has passed and he spent it being piloted like a mech so they need to celebrate Now!!#also this was technically a request lmao anon wanted megumi birthday angst hehehehhe i hope u like it <3 bc it KILLED ME DEAD#im going to collapse remember when i said this wasnt harder than the hydrangeas im having second thoughts#page 8 made me want to bash my head in#could have stuck with one flashback image could have left them monochrome could have done literally anything 2 ease the workload#but noooo the chronic overachiever in me would not allow it#rule of threes i had to include all of them and they Had to be in colour it wouldn't have hit the same if i had kept it monochrome#i needed it to look how childhood memories look i needed it to look oversaturated and hazy and fond but unmistakably Gone#it may have killed me but im so proud of this rn like from an art style perspective these megumis and yuujis r top tier by my standards#personal favourites r the first and last panel of crying megumi like not 2 pat myself on th back but expression?????? hello??????#enjoy your cake megumi you've earned it <333 sorry fr hurting ur feelings it will happen again#oh my god i can sleep tonight bless <333 and i met my 3 day deadline NICE im so good at what i do
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people will really go up to shapeshifters like "oh what's your true form? oh but what do you really look like?" are u hearing yourself. do u hear how insane u sound
#*walking up to a creature with no static unchanging form* hey what's your static unchanging form#*walking up to a creature WITH a static unchanging form*#hey what would your static unchanging form be...#if u were a completely different person making completely different choices living a completely different life#sweet baby heimlich manuever idk. a neon hyena furry with a side shave? how do i know#what r u a uquiz#no. no you're not. because a uquiz asks *politely*
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AND BUMBLEBEE !!!!!!!!
#transformers#transformers one#transformers fanart#bumblebee#i think hes so cute#i love his puppy ears#he was so annoying and everyone hated him so much it was so funny#i watched this with friends and everytime he was on screen i would point and go “hes literally me”#as someone who has literally never consumed any transformers content ever in my life i reccomend seeing the movie#its super good and funny#u dont need to know anything about transformers too#its literally the origin movie#and its so funny#bumblebee my beloved#ur so small and everyones so mean to u
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blazamy band/idol au lalala
#im a little obsessed#my art#artists on tumblr#digital art#wlw#amy rose#blaze the cat#blazamy#amaze#sonic the hedgehog#sth fanart#blaze sth#amy sth#band au#idol au#i know blaze’s bandmates are so random but i have specific brainworms about these 4#also i think it would be really funny#plus i want more blaze and whisper interactions so im doing it myself in this au#based on their skins from sonic dash/speed battle#im still so sad abt that file …#lesbian#sapphic#lesbian blaze is my world#lmk if u want more of this bc im willing to provide#sonic fanart#sonic
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no more fan-ta-sizing about it! everything's already changed~
#dimension 20#fantasy high junior year#fhjy#figueroth faeth#riz gukgak#adaine abernant#fabian seacaster#gorgug thistlespring#kristen applebees#fh class quangle#my! class swap thing! I guess this is like the poster for it now#got overinvested and finished it properly instead of winging it lol#in closeup order: cleric!gorgug; bard!riz; rogue!fabian; sorcerer!kristen; barbarian!fig; artificer!adaine#this one does have the harpoon gun I'd give fabian during sophomore year but literally only figured out for this piece lol#I like how it looks tho Im glad I hashed it out#thinking abt power armor adaine a lot tbh... she has the transhumanist audacity. she's villain-adjacent enough#to attempt unspeakable acts of body improvement#(its funny bc to wear a rig like that would Also demand a certain level of physical strength from you)#also yeah this is the thing with riz holding a megaphone that got me considering#its fun! it fits the aesthetics! maybe it'd grant him range for bardics#maybe he gets to keep that Im just not sure how he'd carry it around lol#fig gets to have all of her makeup... I like almost never remember to draw it usually kdsjfhdjk listen. I just forgor#I always forget makeup is real#also dont ask me what's in kristen's thermos it Is usually tea but you truly never know#sometimes its soup. it can be lighter fluid. soap perhaps. hot chocolate#also if u come knocking on my door abt kristen's somatic in this piece: I wont be home#she gets to be gross especially bc shes funny and 17yo and gay. we give it to her#okay I. whoo I should lay down. finally I can move on to other things#cheers! wahoo. yahha perhaps
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It's not complicated, it's just weird
#payneland#edwin x charles#dead boy detectives#dbda#this is not realistic honestly#because charles would protest the use of the word rejection#how could he ever reject any part of his best mate am i right?#also rip random client who asked#u didn't know better man
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god gives his most niche fandoms to his most autistic warriors
#and i wish he would fucking STOP#autism#autistic#actually autistic#autistic experiences#neurodivergent#neurodiversity#special interest#My niche fandoms no one else knows/cares abt >#The Hollow#The Wilds#Renegade Nell#Playdead Inside#Unwind#The Endling#Wolfblood#Descendants#Joshua and The Promised Land#< /hj#First Kill#School Spirits#if u are in these fandoms PLS interact i will be ur best friend pls#non alterhuman post#anti rq#anti transid#anti proship
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Reversed Robins
Damian: Tired, exasperated, responsible eldest who tries not to show his amusement at his brothers' antics. (*cough* the mom friend *cough*). Doesn't murder out of respect for Bruce. Has tea with Alfred weekly to bemoan the fact that they are the only ones in this damn family with self-preservation instincts.
Tim: The definition of teenage angst. Killed the Joker, which was never traced back to him. (Damian's rather proud of him for it, especially the planning and skill required to hide it, though he'd never admit that to Bruce). Works with the Bats a lot and is usually on pretty good terms with them, just avoids Batman. Is Oracle's favorite.
Jason and Dick: Adorable small little cinnamon rolls with a side of violent, murderous rage. They feed off of each others' chaotic energy. Have a competition every week to see who can get Damian and Tim to pick them up more (Tim counts for more points because as much as Damian would like to pretend otherwise, he always caves to the puppy eyes, but Tim doesn't usually). Are basically best friends.
#reverse robins#damian wayne#tim drake#jason todd#dick grayson#bruce is so done#batfamily#the robins#im sorry guys i dont know how stephs story would go here feel free to add her if u get ideas#i meant to make this just the robins but also add duke and cass if u want
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okay is she being actually immature or is it just a woman over 30 expressing a human experience you find to be immature.
like yeah. at certain ages... let shit go. im not defending the real immature shit. im not defending the karen you're picturing. i worked in retail i hate those people too. (once somebody got mad at me because she didn't like how our winter window decor was a snowman smoking a pipe. i wish i was joking).
but men at 57 will write books about how 17 year old girls are soooo sexy. they will invent worlds where women have to be naked for "armor reasons." they will write songs that treat women as objects. people rush to defend them. meanwhile a woman at 35 will be like "heartbreak is hard, actually" or "i feel betrayed by a friend" or "i am struggling with something emotionally." immediately people will say stuff like this woman is 35 by the way. by the way this woman is SO OLD to be experiencing this. BY THE WAY.
im 31, almost 32. the other day a poet was blasted online because at her "big age", she had written a poem about feeling unloved. top comment was "this woman is 29 by the way." this woman is too old to still be useful, by the way. she has to behave better . maybe if she was a good wife and mother she could stop existing loudly, and the story could continue on without her. this woman has served her purpose, by the way. she's so cringe, by the way. at 29 - so old! - she still hasn't figured out that her existence should be one of shame.
#what the fuck.#unfortunately by the time i'd switched accounts (from personal to my poetry one)#i couldn't find it :(#this is why u SEND URSELF THE POST. WHICH I KNOW TO DO BUT!!!#i was so mad i just was like “i'm about to tear this commenter in twain” and . lost da post#if u urself are the 29 and got recently flamed by instagram#i love u. come here. write with me. i was about to pick up a sword for u.#i mean a BIGASS sword.#like we all know im a wlw girlie but the way ppl will be like ''id NEVER write sad poetry about a MAN not LOVING me!!!"#..... wowwwww ur so cool. anyway. people often experience emotions regardless of what u consider cringe.#& if ur gonna shame straight/bi women for feeling a certain way. hope u never write about the#weird relationship between u and ur father. or feeling different from ur brother.#or how ur male best friend fucked u over. since it's SO CRINGE. to have ANY feelings caused by a MAN#like be so for real. beloved. nobody is fucking saying this when men do it.#''oh it's cringe to like a woman or feel heartbroken by her.''#controlling women's feelings and actions???? it's more likely than u think.#btw op is nonbinary do NOT be gender essential on this post i'll kill u with my teeth#edit: btw for the person who dm'd me ''when is it misogyny and when is it actually valid''#pretty easy. if a man had done it#would it be cringe? . like if a man sang a sad song about ''she broke my damn heart''?#if he said ''i want to have kids with her'' or something sexually explicit?? like would u even LIKE IT if a male poet had said it?#& if it's like. nah a 35 yr old man being upset about this is cringe too. yeah it's just cringe. that exists. we both know it does.#but .... often i see this ONLY about women. and i can't help but hear like. how back in middle school#we were fed the lie ''girls mature faster.'' ... why do i have to be emotionally regulated? but if a man wrote about the same things?#..... idk . im pretty anti cringe culture to begin with. but this one feels so bad to me . ur still a person past 33.
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thinking about how armand was turned bc he was dying from being stabbed by a scorned grown man who was in love with him. he nearly died from rejecting unwanted advances. its such a key explicit detail of his origin that teaches him yet again that what he wants is utterly unimportant and even deadly in the face of survival. everything about his character is informed by the fact that he adapts entirely to the situation he is forced into because that's the only way he can survive. he adopts the satanic doctrine for 200 years not because he believes in it but because he knows that is the only way he'll survive and as soon as lestat arrives he knows he can abandon it. for half a millenium he believes he can't get what he wants and also survive, he has to choose one or the other. God.
#anne rice you craft such utterly insanely complex rich tragic characters#the vampire armand#iwtv#interview with the vampire#armand#honey talks#honey writes#i guess#also i suppose#iwtv spoilers#if u dont know his Lore#i'll be so interested to see how they adapt his origins because i really do think this is so integral to his entire character#he would have died for saying no. horrific
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10 years later
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#yuji itadori#fushiguro megumi#nobara kugisaki#itafushi#itafushikugi#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#least heterosexual group photo ive ever drawn tbh#u have the kings of subtle pda and their judgy lesbian third wheel#this does remind me a lot of the kind of art i used to do jhgdjghdfj#specifically that one furuba main trio piece i did forever ago. same vibe better art#anyway......i tried my best........ i tried so hard#i do not know how old they look . the goal was 25/26 but atp i've gaslit myself into thinking they look the same#especially megumi im so . throws hands in the air in defeat#but idk what else i can do cries at least i like it??? i think???????#i don't know!!! if they look younger than 25 whatever!!!!!!!!#why is it so hard fr me to make chars look older im gna slam my head against the door#maybe its fine. idc <- (lie)#in other news itfs are married fight me abt it . yuuji rockin the right hand ring fr Lack Of Finger reasons#also i am Eating nobara's fit . she might also look a bit younger than intended the more i look at her gDI why cant i have nice things#new hairstyle carrying tbh. i think she would a. grow it out and b. switch the side she parts it on to make Seeing easier#god just take it all tht really matters 2 me is low pony nobara and Rings On Fingers itfs#i did my time in yoi i know how to make wedding bands Work
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jk terfling makes one fucking a tweet referring to "silence" from the literary community about Neil Gaiman and suddenly there's article after article like "well, jkr is making a point actually when you think about it..." no she fucking isn't!!! first of all the literary community hasn't been silent I've seen 100s of authors sharing the vulture article. secondly, jkr doesn't actually give a fuck about women or victim's. She literally supported Johnny Depp while he was abusing Amber Heard. she's proved her propensity for misogyny, transmisogyny, racism, and gender essentialism over and over. I guarantee the only reason she's even talking about Gaiman is 1) because she never misses an opportunity to jump on a news story that proves her transphobic belief that men are naturally predatory so she can continue to frame trans women as public threats and 2) she fucking loves the attention. She's not making any kind of valid point and she won't ever again because she's a bigot and people really need to internalize that instead of champing at the bit to validate her views. The irony of her calling out Gaiman for his misogynistic violence is that she doesn't even recognise how much responsibility she herself has for increased transmisogynistic violence against trans women in the UK and across the globe, and disguising that violence using feminist rhetoric just like Gaiman did will never make it any less abhorrent. I hope they both rot.
#jk rowling#neil gaiman#if u told 12 year old me i would be wishing the worst on these authors......well u know what they say about living long enough and villains
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chucks this overthought fiddlestan au at u
#gravity falls#fiddlestan#stanley pines#fiddleford mcgucket#stan pines#grunkle stan#gravity falls au#gravity falls fanart#love is blind au#uhhhh so i'm nervous to share this bc i've been sitting on this au for so long and i actually rlly like the concept#but i just. didn't know if anyone else would like it#anyway it's MY au i get to make fiddleford morally questionable fuck u#i have comics also but idk when i'll finish them so this comes first#okay go easy on me#bye#my art#mods art#mods draws
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