#i feel like im not good enough to justify posting this much

[cjaus]

i know its not pocky day or anything but i had pocky for the first time today in years and it made me want to do this

[curiouschaosstarlight]

I need to, like...grab my Dottore and squish him down until he behaves-

[talkorsomething]

Too [insert adjective here] for guard ...................

Well, it's only half related.

We "hit a pothole", "had a slipup", whatever you want to call it — sunday. Aka: for the sake of my sanity we are not labeling it a relapse but good god does it feel as though I have invited the demons back in.

I know why, but I don't really know why. Because, I mean... I never have, to begin with. So: when I decided i was doing it sunday, i accepted it. "Let it happen", as someone would probably say to me. It's not...

I've been thinking about it for a while now. It's like anything - it comes and goes, a few times a year, and no matter what, I always ignore it.

Except, maybe there's something I'm not paying attention to? Or, ignoring, is the better word for it?

Of course it would be the one thing I have happening in my life.

November, I was burnt out for unrelated reasons. It was a lot to take in. That made sense. Now? ... why now?

There's not really any pressure on me. Yes, I have to do things, yes, it will be noticed if they're bad, but ...... it's not important. We don't spend time on it. I'm coming back next year, but it might be at the cost of ... all of this. I think it's progress. I haven't touched my guitar in any serious capacity in over a year. I think it's progress.

I don't take compliments well. I can't tell if that's why I don't get them, but I'm not being corrected much either. Only when I drift too far from what the work is supposed to be, only after weeks of it going, I can only assume, unnoticed. I keep getting stuck.

...push it back down.

Telling me I'm doing good isn't telling me what I know I have to be getting wrong. I could take it, at the cost of... all of this. I'm anticipating, and I know it can come. This is not where I was when I started.

It's been said, I haven't been told, that not starting it means you're more of a burden, by making the other person have to do it first. I know that. I do. And still it doesn't help. I'm not drowning. It wasn't an accident, but it wasn't planned, either. I don't know you.

I don't know you.

I'm not a good person. I'm not a nice person. Every week I tell myself this is really it, and every week I come back, and ... what? Forget I ever said anything? Forget we're not friends?

Well, we're not, huh? Nobody is, with me. What you see I swear you misunderstand. You don't ask. If you do, well, I can't answer. We're at an impasse.

It's not even my fault we didn't make it. I shouldn't feel like this over nothing. I don't do anything. You will, correctly, not let me do anything, because potential doesn't matter if you can't back it up. If you won't back it up. I let things happen to me.

I don't even feel better. And, actually, ironically, i think i know what would let me feel better. If I can't be upset with anyone else, at least I can be with myself.

... but, well, not even that. Your heart in my hands, but I mean it diegetically. And metaphorically. I hate putting myself out there, I hate having to actually perform, and yet every time, no matter what, I do it. I'm fine. I only cared at the start, and even then not very.

I don't feel anything. Not a lot, anyways. I don't let it happen. I can't. I don't know what it'll mean if I start being honest with myself.

...

I've pulled myself out of this before. A few times, now. Different circumstances, but I've done it all the same. Seasonal depression notwithstanding.

I'm only here because I did things I was scared to. And still, I'm the same. No progress made. The only way out is to do it again but I feel like I can't. I can't.

Will someone just let me say that?

Will someone just fucking help for once?

[pomefioredove]

housewardens + Jamil (separately) with a reader who is their s/o and reader is low-key their simp

like they won't worship the ground they walk on, but they just.. admire..??

like reader and the character will be hanging out, on a date, or in class or something and reader just sighs dreamily and looks at them with a look of like "im the luckiest person alive." because they love them so much

and if caught the reader won't be embarrassed and will just be like "you're so pretty." or "I'm so happy we're dating"

ik it's cringe lol but if I had one of these men as my boyfriend (cough Idia cough) I would literally just admire them so much because I love them so much and they're so freaking pretty

SWEEEEP I love fluff I love a healthy couple

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ abject admiration

summary: close enough. welcome back gomez addams! type of post: headcanons characters: riddle, leona, azul, kalim, jamil, vil, idia, malleus additional info: romantic, FLUFFY!, reader is gender neutral, reader is yuu, established relationship

Riddle used to hate being stared at. it felt like judgment, like he was being put on trial for something he didn't do. as if the world was just... waiting for him to make a mistake so it could punish him. the first time he catches you staring, long before you were together, he almost had your head for it. now, the feeling of your eyes on him has become a comfort, though your words of admiration, your praises and affection, still make him blush

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

Leona couldn't even remember the last time his parents told him they loved him. so when he hears it from you, his first instinct is to push you away. he thinks it's justified; you must want something, I mean, who would be so nice to him for no reason?

well, you. you would

he'd never admit it, but these days, he goes out of his way to do nice things for you, to make himself look and smell good, just to get more of your praises

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

"you're so beautiful" and Azul crumbles. as cunning as he is, you could have him eating out of the palm of your hand if you really wanted to. he considers himself a fortunate soul, because all you ask for in return is his time and affection

your compliments are better than any deal, your voice more melodious than any song. the very thought that you think he is pretty... him, of all people... well, you could bring him to his knees with a word

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

fawning over Kalim is absolutely impossible. he's not competitive by nature, but what you give him, he gives back ten times over. one kiss turns into ten, two gifts into twenty, and, of course, one praise turns into an entire soliloquy. you're lucky to have him? he's luckier than the richest man in the world, the most powerful mage, he insists even the Sorcerer of the Sands himself would fall to his knees and weep if he were to see your beauty. you're his sun, his moon, and his stars, and he never lets you forget it

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

Jamil had never been in love, let alone in a relationship, before you. you're his first everything... and that means you're his first admirer, too. honestly, he's not really sure whether to believe you or not at first. "I'm so happy we're dating," surely, you're not talking about him...?

but you are. he can't even fathom why, but you are

...sometimes, it's better not to question everything

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

Vil gets his fair share of compliments, and rightfully so. he's put in the work, he deserves the recognition. and, for Seven's sake, Rook is his vice housewarden- he can't escape compliments

but... somehow, they're so much different coming from you. maybe it's the way you say things, soft and gentle and full of admiration, maybe it's your voice, or maybe it's just because it's you. because he knows that when you say you're happy with him, you mean him, not the brand, not the image, not what he's expected to be. just... him. it's true love

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

Idia.exe has stopped working

even after months of dating, you still manage to catch him off guard with your "cringe couple stuff", as he calls it. it's... very distracting. you'll be mid-game, staring at him, and when he asks if you hit your head on the way in, you'll say something like "just thinking about how pretty you are" and his brain will short circuit. it's too bad he can't patch that... he'd love to respond without melting into an Idia-shaped puddle

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

being head over heels for Malleus is both a blessing and a curse. on one hand, he'll reciprocate that energy. on the other hand, he'll reciprocate that energy. even a simple "you look nice today" sends him over the moon with joy, and he will unapologetically cling to your side like the needy thing he is for the rest of the day, glaring at anyone who dares to take your attention off of him for more than twelve seconds. but, hey, you know what you like. you agreed to date him in the first place, after all

[l13]

part two here

cw: NSFW 18+ MINORS DNI!!!! f!reader, peter is married and having thoughts of reader soo cheating? voyeurism, masturbation, peter getting off to you and miguel fucking:), not proofread

perv!peter b parker who comes in Miguel's control room (or whatever the fuck) ready to annoy the fuck out of him, when he’s suddenly very glad he didn’t bring his daughter with him as the obscene sounds from up above reach his ears.

“Such a good fuckin’ girl for me, mi vida. Look at you, dripping down my cock. Couldn’t even wait till I was finished hm?” if that wasn’t proof enough for what you guys were doing, then the sloppy sound of Miguel fucking his cock in your pussy gave it all away.

Peter felt as if someone threw cold water down his back, and he searches his brain for answers- something to justify the outline of his now hard cock in his pants. You were attractive, he wasn’t blind, but weirdly enough he’d never thought about you that way.

Until now, that is. Now, that he can hear your pretty moans and whimpers of Miguel’s name as you beg him to go faster, to fuck you deeper, to make you come.

Peter’s thankful that the floating platform is all the way up, and that he has no view of you, or else he’d never be able to get the picture of your body, of your face scrunched up in pleasure, out of his mind. It would ruin him.

In fact, Peter could see nothing except Miguel’s wide back, shoulders hunched over, no doubt holding your thighs up for easier access. Fuck, Peter could feel precum dripping down the tip of his cock, at the vile picture forming in his head.

He was so hard that it hurt, and he could feel the stinging of his eyes, tears gathering up fast. He wanted to touch himself so bad, but he couldn't. He shouldn’t.

“Hah- shit. What if someone came in here, bebita? hear you like this? See you like this? You'd like that, wouldn’t you? Ffuck you tightened up so much when I said that. Such a little slut for me. Say it.”

Peter turns around, ready to walk out the door. He shouldn’t be here, he wasn’t allowed to be here during this. He should go home. MJ was waiting for him to- Fuck, MJ. He has a wife. What the fuck was he doing? He-

“Yes! yes fuck, i want everyone to know that im a good slut for you!Ah-want them to see me like this pleasepleaseplease”

Peter clamps a hand over his mouth, and moans, letting himself fall against the wall, elbow propped up against the surface to keep him upright, and he bites his lip roughly, keeping his mouth shut just so that he could palm himself through his sweatpants.

God, fuck, he wanted to see you so badly. He wanted to be the one fucking you, to be the one pulling those sounds from you. Hell, he’d let you pull those sounds from him. he’d do anything - using you or being used by you. Peter couldn't decide which thought excited him more.

His last remaining morals were thrown out the window when you cried out, and he could hear you thrash around, Miguel muttering praises and encouraging words that fall deaf on peter’s ears. By that point, Peter had completely tuned out any sound Miguel made, choosing to focus on your pleas and cries.

Peter was full on jerking his cock now, sweatpants bunched up at his ankles, as he fucks the lame excuse of a hole his hand made, all the while imagining that it’s you. He was timing his thrusts to the sound of your broken moans, having to bite on his forearm to keep quiet as he whimpers and grunts, drool running down his chin.

Unbeknownst to Peter, the platform, slowly but surely, makes its way down to the floor. After all, even if Peter made sure he was being quiet, that was still loud as fuck to Miguel's ears, who had heard him the minute he stepped in the room.

2023 © l13 | Do not steal, copy, edit, translate or re-post any of my works.

[atalana]

so i finally got the chance to read the book of bill! and man those journal 3 pages, i could write a million essays on those, but the principle one that i can't get out my head is the new insight on ford's whole fucked up paradigm of what love is

like, neither of the stan twins really know how to experience unconditional love, because they never really had it. their dad was constantly comparing the two of them and really just stamping down stanley's self worth at any given moment. and even for ford who was praised, he's not an idiot, he saw how stan got treated all the time, and their dad was very explicit as to why. ford's praise and attention hinged on him being the family genius who could make them all a lot of money, and he knew very well if he failed to live up to that, he would also lose his father's love

and you see this in stan in his desperate need for everyone to like him, but also how he doesn't really believe anyone ever truly could love him, so whenever he gets the chance with anyone he clings onto that relationship as tight as he can, terrified it's going to disappear at any second

ford, meanwhile. the more direct threat to him was the bullies and the people that made him feel lesser for being abnormal. and no kid likes feeling like that, we know it's a spike buried deep in his psyche, which gave him a reason for the dichotomy he ends up forming.

when he was a kid, people tended to fall into two categories - those who were really impressed with him and his potential, and those who saw him as a freak and wanted to drag him down for it. the love he got and the hate he got are directly related to both.

and as a result ford is constantly looking for people who will give him intellectual gratification (what he thinks love is), and he categorises everyone else as "unimportant obstacles in my way" (because that's how he thinks about those bullies, so their words won't hurt anymore)

stanley was the first category, until he sharply became the second

and splitting the world into those two categories makes him an absolutely horrible person! like, one hand yeah, you do have sympathy for ford bc that is straight up torture bill put him through and no one should have to experience it (and i do wanna make clear this is not a ford hate post, he does have good qualities im just interested in the bad rn)

on the other hand though, god, i'm always struck by just how hateful he is towards so many unimportant things (just one of many examples, christmas songs are fake and stupid bc rudolph didn't burn santa's workshop to the ground as revenge for ostracizing him like jesus christ dude)

or the bit where he sees one of stan's shitty product ads and considers calling him and pretending to be a cop just to scare him, because in ford's mind that's a punishment he deserves for daring to look so stupid while sharing ford's face

and it just drills in how much ford is not willing to see stan's side of this in any way, because what do you think would happen if you went through with that plan? don't you know stan's already scared enough? you saw him get kicked out, you saw the ultimatum that came with it, and hell thanks to the book of bill we know you were also scared to go home until you had something to show for it. he's trying his best, and you understood that once. but then stan throws your journal back in your face and you yell that you're giving him the chance to do the first worthwhile thing in his life.

everything he did to try and make something of himself, to try and prove himself worthy of literally any love at all, you didn't care about that. now he's in a position to help you, so of course he should just drop everything and obey your orders to the letter without question. that's the only way to redeem himself for getting in your way, why won't he take it?

by the time bill shows up ford felt fully justified in going "this isn't about me, and therefore it's stupid and unimportant and should be destroyed". and i know exactly why, it's because again you think intellectual gratification and love are the same thing and you're running low on both right now so you're trying to make up the difference by affirming how right you are in your goddamn diary, but right does not make you good or kind or wise

and that makes it kind of a self fulfilling prophecy, because loving you is hard, and the one person genuinely willing to do so unconditionally you're keeping at a very aggressive arms length. but you fall for bill so easily, because he understands how important you are, which must be love, and all of these other people worried about you just aren't smart enough to get it

and not even realising bill's lies could cure him of that one. hell, 30 years spent dimension hopping didn't cure it. when ford gets back he is still just as self righteous, and still willing to categorise dipper as "will give me intellectual gratification" and the rest of them as intrinsically less valuable

which is why dipper can't take the deal ford offered him. if he had, he would have turned out exactly like ford, stuck in his own echo chamber unable to tell the difference between love and praise

mabel says at one point in the comics that the reason the two grunkles are bad at looking after kids is because they still are kids, and that's a really accurate insight. that old wound cut so deep neither of them had the chance to actually move past their childhood, and discover what it was they were missing

stan never stopped wanting his brother back, but ford didn't realise that was what he needed too, until he saw mabel and dipper working as a team against bill. he's acknowledged his mistake in trusting bill before now, but "we used to be like that" is his first time acknowledging that his whole approach to people is wrong.

you've always had one source of unconditional love. you didn't need to be better than him to be worthy of it. and now you've got an entire new family, hopefully you'll realise that can come from multiple fronts

(and it's okay stan shall have his revenge for how you treated him by commiting just. so much tax fraud in your name)

[oatmealdoodles]

*Spoilers for HB Full Moon*

I don’t have my thoughts coherent enough to make a clear post so im just gonna ramble

GOD this episode was a trip. Was expecting it to all be Stolitz, and then it took a hard turn with the Cherubs and the FBI, and to be honest I couldn’t care less about them. It wasn’t bad by any mean, but I was disappointed to see over half the episode titled “Full Moon” was gonna be about something other than Stolitz

And then in the last FIVE MINUTES they pull out all the stops and give us this

VIV YOU WERE HOLDING OUT ON US

I love the way this episode did misunderstandings, which is something people usually hate, because you can SO EASILY see where everyone’s coming from, and they are both completely justified. Stolas only meant good, he wanted to break the toxic deal he had with Blitzo, and he was very thorough about it. But he took Blitzo’s first bad reaction as a sign that he didn't love him, instead of giving him time to think. And Blitzo’s first reaction to someone loving him and genuinely wanting the best for him to be that they’re faking it HURTS. His outburst seems irrational but when you take into consideration how much he’s been rejected, it almost makes sense that he would assume Stolas is getting rid of him, because he’s SO CONVINCED that no one could ever love him.

And I was expecting pain, but I was NOT expecting Stolas to be choking through his tears hurt by Blitz

THIS WAS A STEP TO FAR VIV I THOUHT WE WER FRENDS

I also LOVE how this episode establishes Stolas’s charachter growth. Going back to the first episode, Im sorry but these are NOT the same people

Before Stolas was cruel and dismissive of Blitzo, only wanting to sleep with him. But now he’s grown into someone who genuinely loves him, and is willing to give up their relationship if thats what would make Blitzo happy. And this was all super subtle, over the course of many confrontations. You almost don’t realize it’s happening, but it feels so natural. You can FEEL how much Stolas loves Blitzo in this scene, and genuinely wants the best for him.

Also How Blitzo looked so HAPPY to see Stolas, he went on a night out shopping for him and looked SO EXITED to finally see him. And just how DESPERATE he looks when Stolas is saying he wants the grimware back, literally crying and begging Stolas to reconsider. I dont think I need to say this but I dont think this is about the book. GOD I hurst that the first time we’ve seen Blitzo exited about seeing stolas AND IT END LIKE THIS.

There are also so many parallels with Blitzo and Stolas switching sides, Blitz now being the h0rny one and Stolas the one who truly cares. It’s a ‘how the tables have turned” that makes this episode all the more painful once you realize:

(thanks to @timkontheunsure and @miyakuli for pointing these out)

And BROOOO THE CHANDELEIR FROM WHEN THEY WERE KIDS IN THE FINAL SHOT I didnt even realize this at the beginning but whYYY?

edit: I LOVE people pointing out that Blitzo screaming at Stolas might have reminded him of his toxic relationship with Stella, which might be why he shut down and cried, because that’s what he did with her.

anyways I think that’s all I got so have some Fizzy to cheer you up

[bluizu]

being swedish, i feel like just reblogging posts isn't enough. i hope i speak for most of swedes when i say this:

WE DO NOT ACCEPT THE BULLSHIT SVT AND EBU ARE THROWING. WE HATE IT JUST AS MUCH AS YOU DO. MOST OF US SUPPORT PALESTINE. WE DO NOT LIKE THE FACT THAT OUR GOVERNMENT IS SENDING WEAPONS TO ISRAEL.

now i am going to speak from a personal standpoint:

somehow, this has only furthered my borderless beliefs. i hate that this is what my country stands for, i hate that this is my country, i hate my country, i hate that this country is supposedly meant to be a big part of my identity.

eurovision has always been a big deal for me. i don't mean to act as if the bigger deal for me here is missing eurovision, this post is just about eurovision and The Genocide is playing a part in the shitshow. but going back to eurovision, i can't remember the last time i missed a eurovision. so many memories. so many bangers. so many victories, no matter who wins, no matter who lost. but it feels even more tainted by the elephant in the room that is Israel. i could not, in good faith, watch Eurovision this year. this is the FIRST TIME i have EVER done this. to be honest, im struggling, since it's such a great deal to me personally. but i know i can, and i will.

(you're not a bad person for watching eurovision, by the way.

... as long as it's critically, and you're not benefiting the EBU financially.)

the nail in the coffin was Joost. precious joost, someone who i now get getting a fan favorite. Europapa just SLAPS. in honor of his father, too. and for all of that to be RUINED by JUSTIFIED RETALIATION is FUCKED.

i don't really know what else to say. fuck the ebu.

[rataccatak]

major grom/plague doctor pages that made me feel big emotions (pt 2.5/3)

yall im SO sorry for the long wait. It's been a year since I've sat down and did some Thinking bout this comic but my love for this franchise is immune to hiatus. I was orig gonna go chronologically but I wanted to post something rather than nothing so here is a panel I've wanted to scream about ever since I first read it.

"I'm not ready to lose you again" scene (Plague Doctor issue 14)

We all knew this page was coming; it is so fucking good. Surprisingly though, it's not the final hug that gets me as much as THIS PRELIMINARY SCENE RIGHT HERE.

Despite Sergey's queercoded flirtatious presence, he doesn't really show much physical affection towards anyone (at least, not in a vulnerable & genuine way) WHICH IS WHY I WENT APESHIT WHEN I SAW THIS. It shows a level of vulnerability that Sergey doesn't ever truly share with anyone because of course, it's reserved for Oleg and OF COURSE it has to come after he tells Oleg to SHOOT HIM if he ever comes close to putting his life at risk. It is SUCH a great moment in Sergey's development--not just the rearranging of his priorities (shifting from his plague doctor mission to Oleg), but his willingness to relinquish control to Oleg. He doesn't say "let me die" or "run away" or even just "stop me," motherfucker says SHOOT ME. It's, of course, a parallel to Sergey's attempted murder of Oleg in The Game, only now Sergey is willing to put himself in the same position as Oleg WITH the motivations REVERSED so that he intends to SAVE Oleg by letting himself get shot. Like. Poetic cinema. What the actual fuck.

Also, "your faith is the only thing saving me" is the most beautiful thing I think I've heard in my entire life. It's easy to think of Sergey as this laidback and callous terrorist who doesn't really interact with the human tragedies of his actions, and to an extent, this is true (he is VERY MUCH an "ends justify the means" kinda guy). But I think his remorseless attitude doesn't stem from an inability to grasp how truly awful he is, but rather, from a hyperawareness of the human cost of his actions that eventually just pushes him to ACCEPT his own irredeemability. Kinda like "I'm already past the point of redemption, so why stop now?" way of thinking. This line confirms it for me. It communicates the absolute DEPRAVITY Sergey assumes of himself, his belief in his own irredeemability, and the acknowledgement that Oleg's trust in his goodness is the only thing stopping him from losing himself to that impulse. Oleg is Sergey's heart and moral center. He redeems and humanizes him when the world and Sergey himself is unable to (exhibit A and B below).

And it is so incredibly tragic. That shot of Oleg reciprocating the hug is pervaded with such desperate and futile but UNKILLABLE hope, like he's trying to physically cling to the person Sergey used to be (or more accurately, who he thinks he is). There's even a role reversal here; now Sergey is the pragmatist, and Oleg is the naive idealist, unable to come to terms with the limitations of his own control. And that sort of deliberate ignorance only further hastens the inevitable, and it is so tragic, this scene. Another reference to The Game with the power dynamics between Sergey and Oleg reversed: once again, Oleg puts blind faith in Sergey. But this time, it may cost him SERGEY'S life, not his. And to an extent, Sergey also put his blind faith in Oleg as well; when the chips are down, he trusts Oleg to shoot him before he can kill him again. Whether their trust in eachother is enough to save them this time... that question is left uncomfortably open.

[sexhaver]

i've been playing a bunch of Pesticide Not Required recently and might do a more in-depth writeup soon going over the characters and weapons, but this game is fucking infuriating if you don't figure out the objectively correct strategy so im posting this to hopefully save someone some stress:

NEVER BUILD INTO CRITS. Crit Chance and Crit Damage sound good on paper but unfortunately due to human nature it works out that you actually get a way better build by picking every single levelup perk "balanced" out by reducing your crit damage/chance. there are like three perks and one weapon that maybe justify a crit build and none of them will get you past the massive difficulty spike on day 6 or 7 in higher difficulties

mine a few ores during the first day so you go into the first shop with around 600-800 gold

your top priority with shopping during the first few days is to fill out all 5 of your weapon slots so you'll only see those weapons in the shop (making upgrades easier). this is basically the only thing you'll ever need the rerolls for so don't be shy with them

although some weapons are better than others, all of them can be viabahahahahaha im just fucking with you! half of the weapons are straight up useless and should never be picked. when rerolling, you're looking for the following weapons in this order:

weed whacker. S-tier, unquestionably the best weapon in the game, you cannot get past day 6 on higher difficulties without this. like all other weapons that spin around you (i.e. the next two) this benefits highly from projectile speed and attack duration: faster spinning + spinning for longer = more hits per activation

scythe. "weed whacker at home". A-tier, hits the same area as weed whacker to keep enemies off your back while weed whacker is on cooldown. i know im making it sound boring but "slightly worse weed whacker" is still far and away the second best weapon in the game

sprinkler/water sprayer. "weed whacker but big". doesn't really hit its stride until level 4 or 5 but is essential in the late game to soften enemies up before they get in range of weed whacker + scythes. ALWAYS take the +4 amount upgrade on the left for level 5, ignore all of the buffs on the right side, shooting 8 beams out at once is the reason you took this weapon

toad oil. very mediocre early on but once you hit level 5 you can have pretty much the entire screen as a damage-dealing area

DO NOT BUILD CRIT. I MEAN IT. YOU WILL UNLOCK THE CRIT CHARACTER AND THINK "OH MAYBE THIS GUY CAN MAKE IT WORK" AND YOU WILL GO INTO WINTER 3 AND FEEL GOOD ABOUT YOUR BUILD AND THEN THE DAY 6 WAVE WILL TURN YOUR ASS INSIDE OUT EVERY SINGLE TIME WITHOUT FAIL BECAUSE YOU HAVE NOTHING BUT DAMAGE AND EVEN THAT DAMAGE STILL ISN'T ENOUGH. THIS IS A PSA.

[whiteoutzz]

Hi! Is it ok if you elaborate and/or explain how disabled characters within Wings of Fire aren’t treated well and/or written well within the series (and/or that Wings of Fire is very weird about disabled characters) please?

sorry it took me a bit anon, but i needed to gather my thoughts.

But basically; while there is alot i could focus on, that even with disabled characters that are good, their disabilty isn't really all that researched (both starflight and tamarin for example, but i don't know enough to make a whole post about them), or how narrative often treats them as disposable or not as important as rest of the characters (ospery literally exist just to be killed. and yes alot of characters die in wof, but he is one book and then is killed off for other characters progression) (also whiteout. but i will make analysis of her another time). or whatever stonemover had going on.

and even with jerboa iii / boa, she hides her missing talons out of shame in her story, but it almost seems like its so the auhtor is more comofrtable with her, and idunno maybe she stops doing that later but it does feel gross to me. < and yes i am aware that loss of her talons was in a traumatic way but it doesn't really justify it, especially with how other disabled characters are written.

and even fucking Scarlet, who is disabled as a punishment (in the narrative, not the story itself. also she hides her scar in some instances with animus magic, and yes im especially including her).

clay's disability is mostly forgotten both by books and fandom, and much more.

but i do think one of the things that angers me the most is chameleon, and how you can't really fix that without literally not making him a villain. HIS WHOLE MOTIVATION is that is he is disabled, angry at the ableism, and changing himself due to that. and greed too i guess, but you can't really ingore the disability part, and i just look at how he is written. HE IS LITERALLY EVIL BECAUSE HE IS DISABLED... in text he has a facial difference (even if he is rarley drawn with it), a sleeping disorder, and of course, not being able to change his scales. its the most visible one in fact. he is kicked out from his kingdom literally because he is disabled, and he is angry, and finds the scroll, and does evil things or whatever. (and also has peril and is a questionable father).

I can't really describe how angry i am at his character existing. And you can't fix him! At best you could have rainwings with his disability who aren't evil, but even then, his motivation is that he is disabled, and its his primary motivation. It fuels his anger, its why he takes on multiple forms, its why he attacks Kinkajou, its probably why he tries to change Peril. < also greed, but im ignoring this on purpouse because it isnt relevant to the discussion and it doesn't erase the fact that his main motivation is that he is angry because he is disabled and how he changes himself into different dragons, and how he has distain for other rainwings, all that.

Why is it a problem? Well because it implies disability can make you evil and also even if we are symphatetic to Chameleon, there is no solution for his anger. The problems aren't fixed. And we never get another Rainwing character who can't change their scales. His evilness is tied to his disability, both of them connected. If one was to fix that, you would need to redeem him or not make him a villain in the first place, but then what is the point of his character. Its not just lack of reaserch or few things in poor taste, ITS HIS WHOLE CHARACTER!

And for the record, im not calling tui an evil horrible bigot, but she is not immune to bias. Its not just ableism of course, series has other issues, but its really really glaring.

Coming back to some characters; how Boa hides her disabilty, its of course of internalized ableism, but characters do not exist in a vaccum. Blind characters are commonly potrayed with cataracts (clody, foggy eyes), regardless of their actual type of blindess, or with something covering their eyes (like a blindfold). disabled characters are often killed off or not important to the narrative. While we do have few disabled protagonist, its after their pov, so we don't get a point of view of a character who is disabled.

Im probably missing something, but i think its enough things to say hey. Wings of Fire has ableism problem.

*also i didnt read book 15 or the guide so if im missing something else important im sorry i didnt really know

and i apologize if its written messy and has grammar and spelling mistakes and if i got something wrong but my point still stands even if i missed something or didnt explore somethings nuance entirely or got something wrong.

ok thats all . i think.

[golden28s]

Totally optional, fun Gallavich questions ☀️🌙

thanks for tagging me to the coolest person @callivich 💖

What’s a fic you’ve read more than once? i havent read that many gallavich fanfics since i watched the show in like april BUT im loving Africa and ill probably read it once it's finished

What’s a gifset you always have to reblog? s7 gifsets are really person to me but also maybe s10 and s11 because they reached the peak of softness

What’s a headcanon you can’t stop thinking about? maybe that ian would tell mickey "i told you so" when they become parents and mickey turns out to be an absolute incredible dad that will play, sing, dance anything with his children.

What’s a fanart you love looking at? maybe @gallavichonly @heymrspatel and i accept recommendations btw id love to see more fanart

What’s an idea you’d love to create if you had the time/inspiration? id probably write like a series of one shots based on taylor swift songs

What’s something you’ve discovered since entering this fandom? A new trope you love? A different analysis of the show? Something else? i think that not judging characters, like always be aware of their circumstances and what made them do or say that and that might not justify them but it explains their thought process, it explains why and gives them some sort of humanity to their mistakes idk if this makes sense but yeah that, don't judge a character too soon, try to understand them.

What’s an underrated trope or concept you’d like to see more of? the secret dating, we know they secretly dated and stuff but i feel like it's actually a really fun concept to play with despite their circumstances in the show, it gives you so many possibilities.

What’s your favourite season? And has this changed after multiple rewatches of the show? the early seasons have special place in my heart, so s4-5 and i think gallavich totally saved s7, i love that part of the season

What’s a plot hole you wish had been answered or resolved? i would've loved to see ian healing from the grooming and realizing it was grooming, it would've been nice for the character to heal old wounds and start fresh a new life with mickey in a new neighborhood ready to create new memories

What scene or moment do you feel isn’t discussed enough? the just wondering if we're a couple or not scene, we definitely should discuss more the fact that mickey answered too quickly, he absolutely had been calling ian boyfriend in his head

What line/dialogue/description from something else (a poem, a book, a tv show, a movie, or something else) do you feel describes Ian and Mickey’s relationship? im gonna quote noel fisher and as he said: "Ian's been that kind of guiding angel for Mickey so he's going to have to turn into a pretty much kind of a protective angel for Ian"

What do you think is next for Ian and Mickey post-finale? i think they're gonna learn to communicate even more, they were in really good path already. i think the writers didn't have much faith in them in that aspect but the conversation they have in s11 about going back or not to the new neighborhood made evident that they can communicate, they listen to each other and understand the reasons, each other's feelings. so yeah, i think they're gonna get even better at that and also they're not gonna wait that much to become parents. i think they eventually will find new jobs, ian will have his tomatoes and mickey will adore looking at him doing his thing every sunday morning. i really really think they finally found their peace, their home and are gonna be very very happy and disgustingly in love forever because they're also hopeless romantic and want that so bad.

im gonna tag a few people and as always feel free to do it or not <3 @lupeloto @mikhailoisbaby @mickeysgaymom @redwiccanrobin @lyricailove @energievie @depressedstressedlemonzest @juliakayyy

[rknchan]

HAPPINESS CHARGE PRETTY CURE LOVE POST

i just finished hcpc and i really enjoyed it !!!!!! its not going to be some kind of deep analysis i just gonna be silly about things i like in hcpc

THE CHARACTERS i adore each and every one of them (except for namakeruda i wanna punch him with lovely punching punch)

MEGUMI CHAAAN shes so precious to me !!!! so pure so truly lovely her desire to make everyone happy is so heartwarming megumichan always puts a smile on my face whenever shes on screen ^^

i saw people thinking shes mary sue but i cannot agree :c for me marysue is a character so perfect that theyre unbelievable (!)

and megumi IS believable to me . people like megumi do exist,,,,, and she has more serious flaws than being clumsy and bad at studying;

shes all about helping others but cares about herself little, when shes suffering her pain is hidden behind a smile to the point she can't resist her pain anymore, she worries about being weak and her help is not needed - altruistic people like megumi often experience this feelings too

also she reminds me of my fav person </3 and she motivates me to become a better person myself and believe in love and happiness,,, sorry it sounded cheesy but its true.. thank you megumi ^^

HIME HIME HIME my blorbo !!!!! at the beginning her anxiety and arkwardness, feeling of being not worthy enough to be a precure, escaping from problems felt so relatable :c and it felt so good to see her grow. the moment when she saved iona was so powerful. i wish we saw more of her family when she returned to blue sky

btw i love meguhime as friends and as a pairing theyre so pure so cute they care for each other so much awwww,w,w,,w,w,w, *holds them gently*

YUKOO precious rice bean and the most canonical lesbian of hcpc

i love her rice song its cute and catchy i often chant it ahhahaha

also i like how she always wants to keep peace, to befriend villains and give them love they lacked !!! "why keep fighting if we can eat delicious rice together" SAY THIS LOUDER QUEEN HONEY shes so based for this

i can't say much about iona maybe ??? shes a deep and realistic character and her story with cure tender makes me cry but tbh she put me off in the beginning as it was uncomfortable to watch her being harsh on hime (tho its justified)... but she grew a lot too ,,,,

i expected to dislike seiji but actually he was such a nice character and a loyal friend who actually has chemistry with megumi and role in the plot

QUEEN MIRAGE is my fav villain ever and tbh i can even relate to her

deranged traumatised emowoman ily

the story of her relationship with blue breaks my heart ... the moments when she still wants to be loved by blue but cant resist her anxious thoughts and red's manipulation... HER PURIFICATION SCENE WHEN ALL THE CURES COMFORTED MIRAGE;;;;; HER REUNION WITH BLUE;;;;;;;; sobs

the generals are so fun to watch :) dorks with goofy hats

hosshiwa remains my crush forever..... and oresky and namakeruda are just fuking silly smashing them smashing them

tho their final battle with the cures and their purification was such a deep and impressing scene

i love how brutal and creative was this season with its attacks. lovely punching punch <333 lovely beam <33 princess bullet machine gun <333 let cute girls do some violence

and their innocent form attacks are just beautiful

hcpc is often criticized for its repetitive designs and i sorta agree... but at least they were creative with international cures designs (aloha and bomber girls are my favourite, also im glad to see a cure from my country !!!! cure katyusha <3) and form changes AND FOREVER LOVELY DESIGN JUST SLAYS. SHE LOOKS LIKE A LITERAL ANGEL

also maybe theres a meaning behind the similar designs??? like, all the cures all over the world have similar costumes and it can symbolize they have a lot in common, theyre unite, they are a million-cure team .. while the phantom generals are all different, there's nothing uniting them, there's no team spirit or friendship between them

also the soundtrack is so good and catchy !!!!! i adore the opening and the rice song (and especially honey and hosshiwa's song battle) and the innocent song !!!!

i love the message of hcpc that everyone is worthy to be happy and loved, even if youre in deep despair, disappointed in life, thinking you'll never be loved and thus love is worth nothing - someone is always going to be here for you

but at the same time it points out that love can be a destructive force (red, mirage, dark seiji), that its impossible to be happy all the time, that feeling pain and hate is valid

sorry it turned out so long i hope i could share my love for happiness charge with you ,,,,,

i love you megumi i love you hime i love you yuko i love you iona i love you blue i love you red i love you mirage i love you seiji i love you masukomio i love you phantomu i love you hosshiwa i hate you namakeruda i love you oresky I LOVE YOU HAPPINESS CHARGE

[cptn-merica]

thoughts on peggy carter

i think my biggest issue with peggy carter is marvel is trying to push agendas and pander to audiences as a cop out for formulating a dynamic character. it's obvious she's supposed to be a feminist icon. that's totally cool. i appreciated that as a kid, since i was sick of women being portrayed as weak. the way i see it, peggy suffers from weak portrayal, not portrayal that she's weak.

--

before the peggy fans comment/reblog, "omg not another stucky blog posting peggy hate. leave her alone!!" i don't hate peggy, I just want a clearer picture of who she is. i enjoyed her in the mcu but i wish marvel would've given her justice within the writing. this isn't hate for hayley atwell either. she did really good in her acting, enough so i watched more movies with her in it intentionally.

--

peggy always read to me as a half-developed side character -- no matter if she's the main character. my one of my biggest complaints is that she seems to have little to no motive. motive is what drives people and your main character having consistently unclear motives is sloppy writing.

helping steve? sure, she's his commanding officer and she seemed to like him.

"win the war"? well sure, that was a lot of other people's motives in ww2. why did she even join the war anyways? what convinced her to sign up? she didn't have to, she could've done other work. what was so compelling about the war to her?

for the what if episode: why'd she choose to take the super serum?

my point here is: there are too many points where one questions why she did ___ that could have been better defined (esp in the what if series).

--

marvel can make her much more interesting (and to me appealing) character by not putting her in comparison to steve. they would be forced to solidify her character instead of wimping out and saying "well she's the love interest." I'm not saying that she can't have both a relationship and be a strong woman - many women have/are both. however, when your entire personality depends on your relationship to one person, it's not very healthy or wise.

the concept of marvel pushing for steve and peggy's relationship is fine, that's how romance novels are made. but the lax follow-through on character development removes my interest for the ship. how good romance novels bring interest to each character is by establishing them. they also used peggy as way to pander for chris evans himself - she was an easy way to get steve rogers out of upcoming plot lines. (side note: chris evans is totally justified in not wanting to work for marvel anymore, they just should've handled his character's ending less sloppily)

as for the ship - i would see more value in the steve x peggy ship if i could tell what type of person peggy is. especially when you take away steve. i see value and interest in steve and bucky because, even though bucky was made as a sidekick to steve, he has a strong character. would i want to see him even more fleshed out? yeah, ofc. would i say he's more fleshed out than peggy? yes, because in one movie you can tell who bucky is and why he's doing things. i see why people ship steve and peggy, and I see why people ship steve and bucky. both stances are valid.

i haven't seen it yet nor i do know if i will watch it due to personal time and budget constraints, but i hope that the agent carter series strengthens her character.

ultimately, peggy is the victim of poor and sexist writing.

(note:: this is my personal opinion & analysis, based on the first two cap movies and the what if series. im not speaking for anyone but myself. if you feel like her character is rich enough and you're satisfied by her portrayals, that's great, I just wanted to share my stance. again, i don't hate peggy, I just want a clearer picture of who she is and why she does what she does)

[mahuhumaling]

changes i liked and disliked in the rwrb movie 📨

ohmygod. i'm finally gonna talk about this movie, aren't i? i've held myself off from making original creations like video or photo edits for this piece of media, and i still am, because i feel like if i start making one i won't stop, but i think a textpost can be an exception because i've made tweets and threads about it on twitter already.

anyway, i just wanted to rattle off on these since these opinions have been simmering up on me since the movie first came out. lol i watched it 15 hours later on a whim with bar-in-hell expectations. karma got to me, because i ended up getting brainrot over it.

this is a long overdue post.

the aging up is both a yes and a no for me. a yes because i have previously never been opposed to aging up YA characters (technicaly rwrb is more new adult that young adult but whatever, it's teetering) like shadowhunters, and matthew does a great job of justifying this choice: grounding their romance into a more mature and real love. it's not to say that young love isn't valid or real enough, but the decision to make firstprince in their late 20s makes the discussion of forever and their adamant to fight for their love is more realistic and believable. with that said, it's also a no for me because their ages are also detrimental to the timeline and character arcs. for instance, henry's grief hits him like a ten wheeler as a teenager, and the whole explanation that casey writes for his grief is that he expected to deal with something as magnanimous as that kind of loss when he's older and not when his brain hasn't even fully developed. another instance is alex's having to grapple with his career choices after college!

matthew's best change is quite possibly firstprince exchanging the key and the ring. hands down, much better. i do understand that since the novel is in third person limited (alex's pov), it makes sense at a literary level (lol) for alex to own both the key and the necklace ("two homes side by side" is a BANGER line), but the equal complete devotion that the two have for each other at that point is excellent through that showcase of exchange. i own part of you, you own part of me. it's such a great display for the trope of "token of love." romcoms are back, baby! cinema is back!

worst change, then, is probably alex's parents being still happily married and in love. my hot take is that i understand why june was cut out and she's not a huge loss, compared to alex growing up as a child of divorce. making that change to alex having parents who are still together removes a huge dimension to alex's characterization because a lot of his issues stem from that, mainly his abandonment issues. you can see the full effect in the scene where he storms the kensington palace. i understand and respect it, matthew essentially explaining that because this was a different henry, then this was a different alex to — that he needed to be softer. he was more pleasing, desperate, confused with "can we please talk?" instead of the brash "your royal fucking highness!" because that's what it is: confusion. movie!alex couldn't fully understand why someone would just up and leave like that, whereas book!alex was immediately angry because he knows full well when someone leaves him. (*ahem* his dad) but anyway someone discusses it here in such great detail and i very much agree!

oh another good change is showing henry's pov during the email leak. nicholas... sir... ugh. fine, we're getting you that damn oscar. but seriously, he did great. t'was devastating seeing his face crumble, and the one show/display of roual authority, of hot flash of anger, of power, just to talk to alex was even sadder because that was the only time he uses it.

another yes and no change for me is "history huh." the placement of the most popular line from being im the email to being said out loud privately for the two of them is something i'm divided about. yes: there is a great deal of comfort that comes with henry getting to hear that from alex's own lips. it's very sweet and romantic and yeah tbh tbh i would've melted into a puddle right then and there. that there is a comfort that comes with at least that wasn't taken away from them. but no: the whole point of that being in the email (along with bad metaphors, an incomplete list, the story of the prince born with his heart on the outside of his body, etc.) is that these two's privacy was violated. the whole world read those words that were just meant for the two of them, but the public ended up using that line for their banners and flags and signs. and it's important why? it was then made into a form of reclamation. that even if they went through shit and worried about the consequences of being public figures, that there was hope that at least a surprisingly large number of the general public voiced their support, that they were backed by the people they were serving. removing that from the email in the movie... well, you get the rest.

should the height difference even be talked about? that's a factor that is 80% outside of anyone's control lmao??? but i do think it's worth noting that i've grown kinda fond with it that now i imagine taylor & nick's physical builds when reading firstprince fanfics plus having a taller alex who has a height complex instead of a shorter alex who has a height insecurity is so fucking funny. what a great running gag. the gaslighting of the audience into thinking henry is taller is 10/10. best lampshading ever, actually.

henry standing up for himself to the king is both a yes and no too. yes: matthew's justification is pretty nice. not only does it save them production costs to hire a princess catherine actress and pacing issues, it also makes sense narratively. the movie has written henry as voiceless throughout it really well, so for him to save himself is a great reason for why. but also it's a no for me because it's equally important that catherine the negligent mother starts compensating for her absences by battling generational conflict lmao. there's also the factor of a woman saving a man too! the rwrb universe emphasizes quite well about how henry and alex are surrounded by these powerful female figures who are near and dear to them in their lives. to grow up learning from them. point is, movie!henry standing up for himself is a nice choice because he's older. and at the same time, book!henry being supported by her mother is a great choice because he needed to be affirmed with a larger support system in his younger age.

making henry the one to clarify at first that their relationship should be casual instead of alex is a big yes for me. the mixed signals henry does in the book makes for borderline inconsistent characterization, but he's younger there so it makes sense for us to be confused. but henry in the movie "explaining himself to alex for the past year" is a great cleaning up because at the start, henry has been clear on "ok but we can't do this long term."

this has been sitting on my drafts for too long (weeks) so i'll just post this now. and maybe update it, idk. this post feels too incomplete but i don't want to sit on it, so. whatever here it is. 🤣

edit:. i discovered this amazing podcast who talk about it in great detail and 90% of their opinions i agree with! imm frothing at the mouth with how they describe and reason with each change and i just 🥺 want to share how cool they are. [part 1, part 2]

[dapper-lil-arts]

good lird i finish return of midnight sparkle and i come back to see a rarijack fic???? im eating GOOD tonight anyway hi sorry to bother but return of midnight sparkle was so goddamn good. i havent watched anything regarding equestria girls (i just got to season 3 of the main show lmao) but i was still able to get really into sunset as a character, and ouugh. mutual pining my beloved. really liked the gap in communication between them, normally that kind of plot can feel really frustrating but i think sunsets fear is built up enough that it just kind of works? love it a lot, it was really fun seeing her relationships with the others too! i really like the direction you took pinkie too, i agree i dont like her much in the main show but supportive friend (who talks like she's typing a twitter post lmao) is such a perfect portrayal for her. (also i loved rarijack in this so much. what is a butch for if not for her fem to stare at lecherously and use as a fainting couch) are those two fics all you have posted out there? you've got me hungry for more lmao. anyway so sorry for text block, have a good evening. mwah

why yes, two fics is all i have for now!! im really glad you like my writing so much because i'm strongly concidering more, heheh. All my other writing is personal oc stuff that i don't feel like postin! YEAH the thing about "Will they wont they" is that so many stories dont justify them well at ALL and it easily gets frustrating. my challenge was to hook it on a character angle; Of course you wouldnt confess to someone if you didn't think you were worthy of her, or anything at all! and generaly if you've never been in love you just wont be able to pick up on the signs of someone pining for you as well. it was absolutely wonderfull to write, nyeheh. NGL although equestria girls endlessly inspired me, dont watch it on expectation you'll get sunset this well characterized hfdbhvd not tooting my horn here but STILL. they have some fun af stuff in there! i do reccomend watching. Specialy Forgotten friendship and Rainbow rocks! (though you should watch the movies in order) yeah, characters like pinkie, rainbow and cadance where fixer uppers, but i never take disliking characters as an excuse to write them poorly. I take it as a challenge! And yes secretly every MLP stuff i write has an underground message of futhering the rarijack agenda i will simply always make those two canon because theyre simply endlessly entertaining to write heheh