#l would be proud of the torment he inflicted on light if he were not fucking dead

[hellofastudysession]

am i rlly going to write a death note literary analysis when i could be doing other things

about the discourse going on in the tag abt "death note is acab and thats why the characters couldnt better the world with the note (/written in somewhat jokey matter)" vs "death note is trying to say we all have potential for evil, especially if you get a chance to insta-hurt ppl without repercussions, and it doesnt matter if youre a cop or not", i personally feel like it ignores the things that i like abt death note, which is "both of these things are true", and simultaneously "both of these things do not matter". the first part of this is dedicated to the first point, the latter to the last.

first point. i think its an important part of the message and themes (unintentional or not, and i lean on the former because... come on, can you really say the author intended you to not think of the cops as good people, at least compared to light and l) that light is a cops son, and that almost everyone who gets the death note is cop adjacent/thinks like a cop and is already corrupt/powerful when they get it (mello raised to think hed be just like l, yotsuba group is self explanatory; you cannot look me in the eyes and tell me teru "churchill" mikami, who was hand selected by light out of a bunch of rabid kira supporters, is a normal citizen). i appreciated the cop post bc its rlly important to not gloss over that aspect.

all of this would be an argument for "only someone like them would do something like this, and i am not like them, so im above them and immune to thinking about what id do with it", but... misa is the MOST important outlier in all of this bc her murders are solely selfish in nature and shes not doing any of this for "the greater good"!!! her nature of being an exception and still a very very bad person is really really important...

or it would be if death note gave a shit about her character at all!!! im not talking about her tragic side, im talking about exploring the ramifications of her killing people the way lights murders are (somewhat) explored. that would strengthen the message greatly! but shes dismissed and that weakens it overall. firstly, she's dismissed by the characters when l only sees her as a way to get to kira and basically shelves her the rest of the time. secondly, shes dismissed by the narrative when her character is gradually ground down to a stump and (not to sound perilously close to the bad takes ppl meme about) she never faces repercussions for her actions. every other character using the death note is treated relatively seriously, but misa just dies bc her love is dead. im not saying this isnt a... fitting punishment or that it isnt in character, but it doesnt fit snugly into the theme other people are talking about of "you reap what you sow" at all.

we do have something of an equivalent to misa's grayscale motives. surprise surprise, its light yagami. first is light's characterization in the musical (i will also note that misa never kills anyone in the musical). light's thinking is coplike, yes — he literally starts his first song by talking about "throw[ing] away the key" — but also, oddly enough, could be read as progressive and therefore sympathetic to tumblr ("let the corporations make the regulations / and hold no one accountable when everything gets wrong / let the rich and famous get away with murder / every time a high-priced mouthpiece starts to talk, his client gets to walk"). compare to the anime and manga, where his bigotry and pride and disgust come from a place of lukewarm dissatisfaction and boredom. the musical has much less time to play around with lights character, so it gives the audience something to immediately hook on. more on how that actually plays out later.

in the animanga, none of this is justified from the start. animanga light could say he was just killing people to make humanity way, way worse, and that wouldnt matter, because at the root of it, it was always his boredom that made him pick up the note. of course he actually believes in justice and believes hes doing the right thing (no, he believes he's doing the wrong thing, for the sake of the world... the right thing, because he is god...), but it was boredom at the start. all animanga light says about justice and righteousness and the law is a front in the end, bc he is exactly like l and misa — amoral. selfish. searching for entertainment. hedonistic. we know this. he kills naomi misora*. he kills lind l. turner. everything hes saying deserves to be dismissed from the beginning.

"but doesnt that mean you agree with the discourse post you wrote this post to argue against?" like i said, i agree with both of them! but i... still think its not right to reduce death note to the message of "the power to kill people is bad". because that is not exactly what the story is saying, even though that's literally its whole plot and therefore reaching that conclusion is self explanatory (lmao). let's look at the concept of mu. nothingness. "there's no heaven or hell". The Real Slay The Princess (Death Note Essay) Starts Here.

in light's final moments in the death note manga, while screaming about not wanting to die, he remembers that the first day they met, ryuk told light that "there's no heaven or hell. no matter what they do in life, all people go to the same place. all humans are equal in death". it is retroactively revealed that light knew this the whole time, operated under this knowledge for all the years we watched him — the knowledge that nothing he does is actually bad, that nothing any human does is actually bad, that shinigami are not "evil", that the universe does not care. that no one cares except humans. this oblivion absolutely terrifies him more than anything anyone could ever do to him. its what he thinks of before anything else as he flails there, screaming, dying. one could say everything he does after that day is him trying to escape that fact, or wrest control over it. but it doesnt work.

here are the lyrics of requiem, the musical's final song, sung over the bodies of l and musical light, a light who was at least somewhat good-intentioned at first: "sleep now, here among your choices / then fade away / hear how the world rejoices / shades of gray / gone who was right or wrong / who was weak or strong / nothing left to learn". this is the final message the death note musical and the manga chose to leave us with. there is no judgement. even after all that acknowledged hurt, after all the damage done, there is no judgement.

in the manga and anime alike, the world is just as fucked when light picks up the death note as when he dies. sure, we as readers can guess otherwise logically (and be optimistic, believing the world was never fucked regardless), but that's not what death note wants you to think. it ends with matsuda and another member of the task force noting how the world is worse again even though they killed kira (matsuda is clearly much worse for wear, but still determined), we see the shitty motorcycle band again, it ends with misa and a whole kira cult on a mountain even though kira died a long time ago...

its extremely important that light is never killed by any human or any aspect of the law. he is always killed by ryuk: a chaotic force completely detached from human sensibilities, one that does not care about good and evil. same with l; in the anime, manga, and musical, he is always killed by rems senseless, morally gray love (and you could argue in the kdrama that hes killed by love there too lol). justice is just a set dressing.

this is not just because death note is a tragedy, because good and evil can still matter in a tragedy. the theme of "nothingness" and "good and evil doesnt matter here" is also shown in a situation relatively unrelated to light winning or losing, or being good or bad. and its in fucking lawlight of all things. we all know ls not a good person. we know lights not a good person. this is tip of the iceberg death note knowledge. but the moment they start to interact, none of that starts to matter. textually, their relationship becomes more important than the people theyve killed and hurt. and the thing is? the thing is? THAT WORKS STORY-WISE. THAT'S ENTERTAINING. AND IT'S NEVER TEXTUALLY CALLED OUT IN A LASTING WAY. l and lights relationship, no matter how much i meme it, is genuinely important to the themes and "mu" because it makes it clear that despite all the pretensions, despite everything, this was never about good and evil. and it still works in the story. this is why death note is simultaneously a comedy — isn't the battle of good and evil supposed to matter more? well, fine, i'll keep watching this anyway. that suspension of disbelief comes crashing down the moment l dies, though, and a relationship built on nothingness (the "mu" sort, meaninglessness, not "character development" nothingness, theres plenty of character development) gives way to just nothingness (again, "mu", not light's post-l depression nothingness), forever.

(an aside: there is no one to root for in death note, and the only things to root for are either interesting character relationships, convoluted plots, or complete and total destruction: for everything to end so no more damage is done.)

not to say that death note does not encourage its readers to consider what damage they might do with the death note (obviously.), or that its characters never do. look at matsuda, a much easier heroic figure to latch on to than soichiro because of his unique place in the cast dynamic and because he's willing to consider both sides of the situation and kill light instantly for all he's done. its just that the story's own stance on the subject is... complicated by the existence of shinigami worldviews and by its own insistence that the world cannot change for the better.

also, this is not to say that this is executed well by the death note manga at all. it is a very strong tool, artistically, to establish and then violently remove any emotional connections between characters and make your story only about the exceedingly convoluted lengths characters go to to survive and catch each other so the reader can realize how ultimately pointless all of this is, but like... is that a good story choice if that's all you do? i would say not really. add in a good dollop of misogyny that destroys the second-to-last character who might actually be an interesting contrast to the rest of the cast's dull one-track focus on winning and justice, and youve got yourself a shitty story that... honestly still achieves what it went out to do, just not in a way id ever want to replicate.

anyway, back to the parts death note's actually trying to say. no matter what any human does in their life, no matter how they try to hurt or help the world, they all die in the end. hey, light, they all die in the end. once dead, they can never come back to life. and the seasons turn. and the world rejoices. and you say "goodbye"...

that's all.

no analysis of death notes overarching theme would be complete without nears final monologue, the definitive roast of light, the "you're just a murderer" speech: "what is right from wrong? what is good from evil? nobody can truly distinguish between them. even if there is a god." if we take this as talking about the actual god in the room (ryuk) as well as light, then near admits that humans will never be able to withstand these overwhelming forces and that, using justice and happiness and selfishness, they are just scrabbling to find meaning in things they ultimately have no control over.

but of course, near does not stop there. "[...] even then i'd stop and think for myself. i'd decide for myself whether his teachings are right and wrong." nears alright with not having control over everything, because near can still control nears own actions. these forces can and do exist, but they have no sway over nears own humanity — unlike light, who caved.

one of the creators of death note said they believe its message is "life is short, so everyone should do their best". the first time i learned this, i was like, thats... nice and optimistic, but an awful reading of the story! "life is short, so everyone should be desperate and striving like light yagami", who literally cut off other ppls lives for his own life? what character in death note are we supposed to strive towards when we "do our best"? they all do awful things with their lives! honestly, maybe they shouldnt have tried their best, if this is what their best is!

but with the view of "mu"... it makes a bit more sense. just a little. maybe.

there is no good and evil. there is only what humans think, and no matter what we do, we all die in the end. it is easy to be crushed and terrified by this in the same way light is, but what is more important than justice and righteousness and finding meaning is... doing your best. not being a person that hurts others too much. not letting yourself get swallowed up by an ideal. not going too far. and simultaneously, trusting yourself.

it leaves a few questions, though... was the currently dead l even a little bit right about his blatantly amoral approach, then? was there a point to this pain, and me slogging through this dumbass manga, and all the people that have lost their lives to a selfish teenage cop's son and the whims of everyone chasing after him? was there a point to any of this...?

the manga** never answers this. it stays clinically impartial until the very end. the musical is anything but clinically impartial (and i love it so much for that), and its ryuk that has the last word.

"there's no point at all."

of course theres no point. none of this was ever supposed to happen. that is what matters more than all the hurt and the crimes and the pain.

and that's... actually okay, because it's over now.

yes, death note has many really important themes present in its story, but its viewpoint is nihilism first and foremost. thats why its so fun and easy to play around with all the other messages, because no matter what fun or torment or awful things or righteous justice or absolute nothingness or sentimentality happens in between, there is always an end.

there is always the end.

[andallhisausterenhost]

After Action Report: Aeldari Civil War

As you are all aware, last week @littlemangsofwar and I had an Eldar-on-Eldar game against each other.Unfortunately, I haven’t had the right kind of headspace to do a proper narrative report like I did the last time we played a game of 40k. It’s a real shame, as @littlemangsofwar has done a great job with his army list - every unit, every vehicle, every squad leader has a name. It’s actually really cool.

Zariah the Swift, Consort of Hesperax leads his Wyches, (alongside Lilith herself, of course), while Dalinah the Proud, Tairin Bloodsinger, and Olrai the Brutal lead bands of Kabalite falseborn atop the Raiders Silent Blade and Bringer of Sorrow.

In lieu of a proper after action report, I’ll share with you the photos I took during the game to show off @littlemangsofwar‘s moody green paint scheme (which looks fantastic). @idisimages came along about halfway, so some of hers are sprinkled in this post as well.

Next time I’ll keep track of the action a bit more carefully - maybe with some notes, or at least photographing turn dice or something, and I’ll put some actual effort in! Mangs* and I are hoping to have fortnightly wargames of some kind, so hopefully the after action report tag can get some real use on this here blog.

We each took a 1700 point list. Mine was pure Dark Eldar in three Patrols and an Auxiliary (understrength Incubi); a small band of the Coven-I-have-yet-to-name, every Cult unit I owned, and all my Kabalites. I even brought the unpainted Scourges and a squad of 3rd edition Mandrakes I intend to sell.

Mang’s band was a Battalion of mixed Dark Eldar, plus the Ynncarne in an Auxiliary Support Detachment. He therefore played his guys therefore as a Ghost Eldar army, but didn’t actually get to reap the benefits of it very much, which guiltily makes me feel like I was at an overwhelming advantage during the game.

Our mission was two-fold; Take and Hold and Kill the Courier. As Kill the Courier becomes a Sudden Death match (which is a bit boring), we decided that a courier-killer would get an extra 5VP. That meant it was enough to be seriously overwhelming in one direction or another, but not instantly end the game.

I think that next time, I’d like to play some Maelstrom game that requires constant drawing of Tactical Objectives. Some of them look really fun! Especially the insane Dark Eldar objectives like ‘hurt everyone in the other army in different ways’. Hilarious.

Deployment was the pointy ‘meet in the middle’ wedge. You can see the centre of the board (red marker, above), at the edge of an pre-Fall ruin. Most of the board was pre-Fall ruins, with the pathetic remnants of the buildings of some servitor race lying crumbling amidst the ruins.

The Ynnari and their cultist minions are seeking ancient Eldar artifacts, while the Kabal of the Sun Betrayed, ever eager to collect and preserve the past in their own brilliant, venomous way, are here to do the same. Conflict ensues.

I deployed the new Coven units on the pointy edge, with the swamp on my right forward swarming with Cult of Splintered Sight beasts. On my left flank was the rest of the Cult, as @littlemangsofwar had deployed his own Wych units there (including Lelith). I thought it was be fun to have the two gladiator gangs fight it out.

It was fun, but mostly for Mangs. I charged into the fray, firing as much darklight weaponry and as many plasma grenades as I could muster to bring down one of his Venoms, so that my Wyches could at least chew on some vulnerable flesh, but nothing worked.

Eventually, the cultists of the Wych Cult of Strife got out and, even without Cult special rules, started cutting through Wyches. My last few fled under the onslaught, only the Succubus surviving to fall back and await another opportunity.

Eventually (turn three or so), I did get revenge, as I was able to deep strike my Scourges exactly 9″ from the Succubus Zariah the Swift; she was burned alive by four heat lances. A truly murderous debut from my scourge mercenaries, who now deserve a coat paint! I’m just a bit anxious about their cool wings.

Here are @littlemangsofwar‘s Scourges from the back, so you can see the nice job he’s done.

In the centre of the board was where all the fun was. Mangs opened the game by incinerating my Clawed Fiend and summoning from his tortured corpse the Ynncarne! In colours of lavender and pale green, looking the very image of the last hopes of a tormented civilisation in decline.

His squad of jetbikes then charged the one of mine positioned nearby and, despite losing one lad on the way in, did proceed to cut into them pretty neatly. In the swamp itself, my beasts hurled themselves into the Ynncarne who... yeah, he just sliced them to bits. It did hold him up for a turn! That was nice!

Mangs also blasted the hell out of my newly painted Haemonculus and his little friends - which, to be fair, I did have them sitting on an objective for a reason. They absorbed a tremendous amount of fire, which was pretty cool. That was all they did, until I used that stratagem in the late game which allows you to bring them back, at which point they marched back to the objective and held it again. Very fun, if not very nice of me.

On my right flank, Mang’s two falseborn squads hunkered down in cover while my trueborn flew around in their venoms. I made little pew pew noises, and had a grand old time... and then my Blasterborn squad evaporated the Ynncarne.

I feel bad about that.

My Archon and his Incubi bodyguard, despite losing a couple mates to heavy fire, took care of the Ynncarne’s Reaver pals. I then advanced him to join with the Haemonculus and fight Varathi the Silencer and Varathi’s Blades. Unfortunately, those Eldar on the Path of the Warrior (however debased) fell before these two aeons-old monsters.

I want to acknowledge at this point that Mangs had some pretty rotten luck and I, uncharacteristically, was rolling pretty well. The Voidraven Bomber, despite its terrifying nature in the fluff, did something somewhere between fuck- and piss-all. I lost a few wounds off the Raider you see there on this fly-by, but not enough to take it out.

It was about this point where we were willing to call it. @littlemangsofwar‘s ghosts were all but spent. He still had a bit of a lead in terms of points, thanks to taking two objectives early while I was faffing about shooting him from gunboats. We agreed it wasn’t enough, as I was beginning to secure the objectives myself and had vaporised his courier (the Succubus).

However! I did do something for a bit of a lark which would be a terrible idea in a serious game: I decided to fight Lelith Hesperax with Me’draus the Eclipse, Archon of the Kabal of the Sun Betrayed, the Sunkiller, the Vral’wern’a, &c &c. I mean, I also had the Succubus** join in. I’m not an idiot.

So even though @littlemangsofwar had generously called the game for me, we decided to see how the brutal melee would go.

I did not go well. Me’draus had his shadowfield fail in the very first roll of the dice, of course, and so Lelith butchered him in a single round of combat. While the Splintered Sight Succubus did manage to inflict a flesh wound on the succeeding round, Lelth quickly put her down as well.

The Haemonculi would charge Me’draus a premium for such a foolish, arrogant waste of his cloned flesh!

Result: VICTORY

See below the cut for a brief summary of our respective lists.

Kabal of the Sun Betrayed: Alliance of Agony

The Kabal of the Sun Betrayed uses the Kabal of the Flayed Skull attribute. Why not the Kabal of the Black Heart? Because Vect is really bad writing and I hate him, that’s why. Anyway. List:

Archon (agoniser; soulthirst)

2 x 10 Warriors (splinter cannon; sybarites have pistols)

2 x Raiders (splinter racks, trophies)

2 x Trueborn (one with shredders, one with blasters; shredder dracon has phantasm grenades)

2x Venoms (trophies; shredder carrier has snares)

Scourges (4 x heat lances)

Incubi (x4)

These had to go in a fourth detachment (Auxiliary) because they’re below strength. Why? So that they can actually be the Archon’s bodyguard! When I finally paint a car for them, it’ll be worth it.

Means I probably can’t play in tournaments with this kind of list, which is dumb (surely paying 1 CP suffices? eh) but I’m not sure I want to play in tournaments anyway.

The Cult of Splintered Sight uses Cult of the Cursed Blade, mostly because of the +1 strength. The only time the Morale bit came up, the only remaining model was the Hekatrix anyway!

Succubus (glaive, hypex, parasite’s kiss, treacherous deceiver)

totally forgot about treacherous deceiver!

hypex because she doesn’t have a car yet

10 x wyches (one of each wych weapon; adrenalight; agoniser)

Raider (trophies, chain snares [not that I used them])

Beastmaster

4 x Khymerae

Clawed Fiend

2 x Razorwing Flocks

2 x 3 Reavers (1 heat lance each, cluster caltrops)

I modelled them with caltrops, but actually think the other one would come up more often.

The Unnamed Coven used the Prophets of Flesh for this game, but I don’t know if I’ll keep using that. It is definitely useful, but I dislike things associated with the Kabal of the Black Heart (which Urien Rakarth is), and I like the madness/Morale rules associated with the Dark Creed. See how we get on.

Haemonculus (Liquifier Gun, Scissorhand, Ichor Injector)

He was a Diabolical Soothsayer which I totally forgot about.

He’s armed as the model is, but eventually I’ll convert a more modern model for him and this model will be demoted to Wrack.

6 x Wracks.

6 x Mandrakes

These did exactly nothing after I deployed them which, eh. I really like the new (well, 2010 is new to me) models, though...

Lelith’s Band: Cultists of Death

Lelith Hesperax

Zariah the Swift (Succubus)

blast pistol

3 x 10 Warriors (blaster, dark lance, blast pistol, power sword)

These guys are seriously well-equipped, but unfortunately not well equipped against other light infantry.

Lelith’s Concubines, 10 x Hekatrix Bloodbrides

Led by Elaria the Savage, Syren

Varathi’s Blades (5 x Incubi)

Varathi the Silencer

Jaik’s Band (6 x Reavers)

The Purple Rain (5 x Scourges)

Led by Naimari the Silent with a blast pistol.

1 x Haywire Blaster

They’re actually equipped with soup, but @littlemangsofwar had to shave some points for an even match-up.

Kondro’s Bane, Voidraven

Very disappointed in this unit’s effectiveness. Shatterfield missiles do a lousy 1 damage? D6 shots, 3+ to hit, 3+ to wound means you’re only going to do, like, two damage with the thing per turn. Void lances are better, sure, but you still only get two shots.

Bringer of Sorrow, Silent Blade

Raiders

Sharpstrike, Swiftkill

Venoms

The Ynncarne (1 x Greater Daemon of Ynnead)

Absolute monster, but I think I managed to get lucky on my first time facing him and do exactly what you should do against him: pin him down with chaff and then blast him with, uh, blasters.

Anyway, it was a great game, and @littlemangsofwar continues to be an absolute gentleman to play wargames against. He said he had fun, and that we might even start doing this regularly! (I think I said that above? That was like an hour of typing ago...) That would be great, right?

Our next game may be an intro game of Full Thrust because: spaceships. Otherwise, maybe some Kill Team, or potentially another game of 8th edition 40K. I haven’t actually had the time to get any painting done this week, but I wouldn’t mind trying out the new scouts. Or maybe the Kabal of the Sun Betrayed could make some slaves of his Imperial Guardsmen...

We’ll have to have a bit of a chat about it!

*Writing out his full tag each time is like calling someone by their full name in casual conversation. It’s bloody annoying.

**I really, really need to give her a name!