#i feel like i should tw this even if its in tags
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roxyco-deliverygirl · 2 years ago
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Hi delivery girlie mild crisis
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umblrspectrum · 22 days ago
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still thinking about it so heres a bunch of stuff
#like everything's colors are placeholders i never learned color theory#like i know “use colors next to eachother or directly opposite on the color wheel” but like#the way everyone describes it makes me feel like theres more to it#and im just too stupid to comprehend it#still like lineless/whatever the rw artstyle is#gradient tool my beloved. i need to mess with it more often#alice n beau live in jcjs superstructure cause its filled with free food (his brain) and a bunch of things to experiment with (his organs)#ive attempted to redesign abs like twelve different times now#i wonder how long this attempt will last before i hate it again#always caught between wanting to stylize to hell and back and wanting to be accurate to the source material#abs is supposed to be like a Really Really Early iterator#so she doesnt have tone modulation or the ability to express much facially and barely looks humanoid under the cloak#which i didnt draw because i couldnt settle on a Look for it#and in her single minded focus to annihilate jcj shes been neglecting herself to explain the motor function errors and also her can explodi#g#oh right normal tags#art#murder drones#rain world#i should invent a tag for this but i dunno what to call it#id love to gossip about all the stuff ive thought up for this au thing but 1. nobody cares 2. i cant talk for that long and 3.#i havent written like half of it down#if i had the confidence to even attempt writing i'd totally do an ao3 fic about this#hi living shifting oil guy/girl/thing i know you're gonna be like the only person to read this far#oh uhh#body horror#tw body horror#i think thats how you do it#probably should've added those first. oops
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ghastlyaffairs · 10 months ago
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for something as trivial and simple those feelings sure are hard to get rid of
also made a gif a version for fun + alt version with no tears under the cut
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the gif is in very low resolution...this is a feature (i could make it bigger but that would require saving each frame individually and than glueing it all together. also i feel like low resolution suits it better. aesthetically and fits the mood)
#hs#homestuck#dirk strider#eye strain#probably? if you think i should tag something else let me know!!#anyway hooray its time for rambling in the tags#so uhhh heres the teæ i've been sick for like a week and you know how it is when suddenly your throat becomes the main gunk warehouse#and you can't breathe lol. wish i could just pull it out. anywaaayy this is basically a vent piece for me being sick lol#also i could draw remotively the same thing with kris deltarune. oh how easy it is to project having a cold#though i have been also experiencing troubles with feelings recently as well....how fitting for dirk#speaking of the man himself (enough of me) his relationship with his own Heart...is peculiar to say the least#the thing i love about alphakids is that despite being so feral they were. so relatable. i cannot stress this enough how unwell they are an#and how they represented being a teen so well. yeah being 15 years old makes that to you#imagine being an emotional mess and trying to fit the 'norm' and act normal about your friends so youre not offputting#and then you fall in love with you friend and your ai clone falls in love with him too looool noone makes out of this one alive#uhh literally. godtiering stuff and dying remember#and speaking of it. tw for suicidal talk for the rest of tags#do you ever think dirk was suicidal. of course the part of when he teleports his head to jake was totally planned and he knew he would ->#wake up as dreamself but. don't you think the moment he cut his head off was sort of. cathartic. how much did he hate his own guts#beheading himself not only for the plan...but also because he thought he 'deserved' it#also wow he is a Prince and was literally beheaded don't you think its funny hahaa#sigh poor thing#this has ended on a not the very pleasant note hm#also fckkkkkk i didn't draw anything with rose/mary for the lesbian visabilty week#(putting the slash because tumblr search system has a dumb gag with showing you posts that contain the tag inside the other tag.#and i don't want this post to show up for the ros/mary fans because it's not!!!! its rose's father emotional crisis post!!!!)#update YOOOO WHAT THE HELL THE GIF HAS EVEN LESS PIXELS THEN I PLANNED fantastic#this your breakfast now tumblr. enjoy your crunchy flakes of dirks meltdown. mwah
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brambeag · 1 year ago
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birth of baby durge
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lover-of-mine · 1 year ago
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Fought 'til you tethered me, swept under surfaces, never enough of it...
#911#buddie#911edit#buddieedit#911 on fox#911 fox#911 abc#evanbuckleyedit#eddiediazedit#my edit#otp: you don't need to pretend with me#usercam#at this point i should have a cemetery tag lol#flashing tw#i need a gracie tag dont I?#die on their watch.#so i was thinking earlier and if youve been around here any length of time you know i think about that cemetery scene a lot#because narratively its very interesting scene because i changes the tone of their relationship in comparison to the rest of the show reall#and its a fascinating choice. even the whole point that of the conversation happening at a cemetery where theyre visiting someone who didn'#but i have a tendency to look at that scene from eddies eyes#because when you look at it along with all of eddies reactions surrounding bucks death and the reactions eddie was having to bucks words#that feels like a breakup. if feels like were watching eddies heart break in real time yk?#BUT buck is very purposeful in this scene too. he's basically daring eddie to say something but eddie just thinks that he needs to agree#and if you look at it that way and think about it as buck asking for a reaction you can argue buck feels rejected here too#even tho eddie thinks hes being supportive#they are saying things and they are being misinterpreted. both of them leave that talk with different views of what happened#and thats VERY interesting with how strongly the show pushed buck eddie and chris as a family unity in the episodes before#and well i dont really know how the show plans to recover from that. if they plan on doing it at all. but like#that was a breakup. but if its a breakup where both of them think they got broken up with. how do you come back?#eddie diaz
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transmasccofee · 2 years ago
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the time loop chapter is so fucked up i think about it every day and reading the manga its worse because there’s certain dialogue that was cut out of the anime (presumably to make it acceptable for kids)
Like ok. im gonna give a play by play from Saiki’s POV. so you can For a second imagine how much stress Saiki had to be under.
Imagine walking home from school and out of nowhere you get trapped in a time loop, already bad, but you can get out of it easy- except uh oh! now you are in ANOTHER time loop. ok, fine, get out of that. It goes on so long that you eventually stop being able to process anything around you but whatever, its fine. EXCEPT UH OH! A THIRD TIME LOOP! This time you are trapped in a loop of watching your best friend run into traffic to protect a small child, and the only one able to save them from dying brutally is you. You save the day, great, Unfortunately this is a time loop and now you’re trapped in this hell, watching your best friend dive in front of a moving truck. You need to have an empty mind to leave this, but thats hard because you also have to keep them from getting flattened. You’re getting more and more exhausted, but thats fine. You watch them get brutally killed in various ways thousands of times, over and over and over and over again, but thats fine. it’s still looping. you keep failing to save them. it’s still looping.
Rather than emptying your mind, Eventually you just disassociate, its gone on so long that your body is moving on its own. You are so tired, and you’ve seen your best friends organs on the road now probably a couple hundred times at this point (seriously Wtf Asou) and so it’s all just blended into the background.
You disassociate so hard your mind is empty. Your body moves on its own to save them. The Time Loop is finally over. You went through this 16,785 times.
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dizzybevvie · 7 months ago
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"not pro-ana just using the tags" "pro-ana only for myself" Ok but you see how you're still hurting people right. you see how you're perpetuating this mindset for other people by posting about it right.
#i went through the proana tag a few weeks back when i was in a very vulnerable state#and ofc i am not trying to imply its their fault for my mental state; i am responsible for my own actions; i chose to go through the tag#BUT.#even then#the amount of times i saw the sentiment “im not pro-ana im just using it to get more notes on the picture of me being really skinny”#or a vent post with the tags “proana but just for myself” really irritated me#i know what its like to be in that position. I do. i understand that you feel like whst youre doing to yourself is right and that you want-#to find like-minded people because you feel so alone#i understand wanting to talk to people that you feel like “get it” and not people that will try to help you recover because-#you feel like youre making “progress” and that deep down you feel ashamed#But if youre 'proana just for yourself“ or ”just using thr tags“? dont fucking use the tag#if you know that its wrong (shich it sounds like you do based on the clarification that youre not ACTUALLY pro-ana-#in some attempt to win the moral olympics) then dont post under the tag because its going to make things worse for people who ARE#and i KNOW. ive had the same thought before. “but i dont think you should have an ED bc its bad for u; im just doing it for a little bit”#or “just for me & i can stop whenever” and we all know how that ends#but if you ARENT proana then dont use the tags to send proana sentiments to other people who are obviously struggling#youre making it worse for people. stop it#beverly says stuff#tw ed discussion#tw ana#tw eating issues
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mysterious-corpse · 10 months ago
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so fucking upset. i looked up what's considered concerning weight loss and got a statistic. i looked up the same question but specified teens and i got a bunch of articles about how to lose weight. what the fuck
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an-theduckin · 9 months ago
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Wait shit people might actually care about me
#sorryyy for the personal posts lmao just not having a great time lately . ill go back to posting abt fandom stuff soon dw#hopefully the self loathing phase is over now cuz i really didnt enjoy that!#mf got me thinking thay everyone secretly hates me n itd be better if i was dead ahahaha#but like. my friends talk to me daily. my mutuals love me. i didnt go to school for like 3 days and my classmate who im kindaaa friends wit#texted me saying. and i quote “Hi [name]. I know its late but i hope your doing well. Hope to cya tmr.” (the full stops symbolize each text#cuz she sent three seperate texts)#and i was just. so flabbergasted at that#i didnt rlly think anyone would really notice if i was gone#i didnt think anyone cared me enough for that#i thought theyd just be indifferent to it#also i sound pathetic rn but i reread that girl's text over n over again when she sent rhat. was literally on the brink of tears#and i just. wow.#people might actually care for me. they might actuallynotice when im gone. they might actually miss me#ive been so inside my head n thinking allat bad stuff about myself that i. didnt think that people might see me differently than the way#i saw myself#really and truly i love you guys so much#even if we've never talked to each pther before or interact very little. i appreciate all of you. you guys rock#anyways aha i should stop rambling now loll. as for now i think im doing a bit better#life still sucks but hey at least i have my friends. at least i dont hate myself anymore now#at least now i dont believe that everyone was being friends with me out of pity#thank you all for everything :')#man i need a hug rn lmao#tw vent#tw sui implied#tw sui ideation#tw self loathing#tw self destructive behavior#<- dw about the tags i dont feel/do those anymore#if you wanna talk to me abt this or just talk in general hit me up!! i love talking to ppl i dont like being alone xd#love youu <33
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xxlethal-lunaxx · 10 months ago
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If anyone relates to this even just a little bit, then I'm so sorry.
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#• luna lavinchi speaking •#living with cptsd#cptsd vent#complex ptsd#diet culture trauma#monsters inside me#toxic health culture#ex vegitarian/vegan#emotional flashbacks#health documentaries#dark side of veganism#i should have never been forced to watch these as a child..my mind wasn't ready to understand the information nor tell what was real or not#-i cant try sushi or even think about fish without feeling physically sick and dizzy. i haven't had McDonald's since i was like 6ish years-#-old..i never wanted to share this information but i need to vent. I feel embarrassed and rude for not liking a food chain that most of the#-population does. Smelling or seeing McDonald's makes me wanna puke so bad because of everything those documentaries would say.#I will never be able to eat McDonald's in my life because of how sick and terrified i feel when thinking about the food even the drinks-#-scare the shit out of me. I'm so pissed that I'm triggered. All of the sudden i smell something in the house that smells like McDonald's-#-then the memories come flooding back and i feel like puking so back so i cant even eat dinner. i know this may seem stupid but i am-#-genuinly scared. Im tired of this shit and tired of feeling alone in this.#(anyway sorry. if you read my vent then i appreciate you)#tw food talk#tw diet culture#tw vent in tags#(dont even get me started on parasites cause thats a whole fucking trauma itself. damn it i hate it all. i hate it so much)#(also note: my therapist made me feel so validated weeks ago when i told her during my session that i was traumatized by monsters inside me-#-she literally knew the name of the show before i could even say its name. and she said she also cant watch it and that she saw it as an-#-adult who doesn't have ocd. so she told me she can't even imagine how terrified i was to watch it as a child who was developing ocd.-#-therapist W)
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treemice · 2 months ago
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I know teen girls are stereotyped to self diagnose with all kinds of personality disorders ("OMG I'm so bipolar" kind of vibe) but do they actually do that? And when they do do they actually believe that they have it? I'm asking this AS a teen kind-of-girl
Because on one hand if they actually believe it I'd understand because idk estrogen makes me gen feel like I'm going fucking insane sometimes. I'm not really a mentally healthy person, I'm prone to depressive episodes and I've been passively suicidal for most of my life, I've had OCD since I was like 7 and I've struggled with SH, so maybe it's just my autism brain thinking that everyone's being literal about that. But idk I've felt like... like a danger to myself before just on the basis of "I'm not normally in this good of a mood, my blood feels like it's dancing, if I jumped off the school balcony i bet I'd survive" and while I know that that's not true and I'd DIE i feel like i have 2 brains, the irrational emotional one, and the logical "you will die don't be a dumbass"/"you're being paranoid relax" one. And when I'm feeling irrational I get scared because I dont feel like i can trust myself to not do something dangerous.
But on the other if they don't mean it its caused me to think a lot of "phases" is normal. Like I was actively suicidal when I was 12 and when i watched a movie about a 12 year old girl that was depressed and a doctor said "being 12 is just one of those ages" I assumed it meant that being suicidal was a normal part of growing up and it'd go away in time.
#tw sh related#tw sh destructive behaviour#tw sh implied#tw sh#tw self h4rm#theres so many tags omg#autism#teenage suffering ig#I'm very angsty but i never know if its a regular amount? im quick to dismiss my shit as normal but I'm normally wrong#i dont want to someday leap off a bridge because i believed id survive the fall#Im scared I'll lose the ALREADY WEAK grip on myself that i have and do something really stupid#i dont want to worry my mom because shes constantly asking “youre sure youre not depressed?” but i never answer honestly#my life is phases of boring -> real bad ocd -> AMAZING -> sad and depressed#and idk I'm growing tired of it#when i want to hurt myself i feel it in my arms and idk the feeling doesnt go away until i do somethings about it#i relapsed this year but I've been clean for like 4 months i think#when my ocd is relaly bad i can convince myself that I'm hallucinating and i worry ill scare myself so much ill kill myself to get away#im not suicidal im just irrational and paranoid. at least im LOGICAL. I can 'no youre not hearing carnival music thats the fridge' myself#out of it most of the time. and i have friends i can call to ground me when i feel like a scared animal lmao#love them#but uh fellow teenage girls please hmu#i go on reddit to ask if stuff is normal but then my posts get flagged 😭 I'm not in danger i just want to know if i should be concerned#I'm not even sure if i have trauma that would cause me to think the way i do like wtf your parents loved you why are you like that
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thatnerdyqueer · 9 months ago
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do yall ever get soooo sick of people pretending that life is so sanitised all the time?
Like how scandalised some people act the moment a story mentions something slightly unhealthy? Or you insult someone, or not even insult - just use a word (bitch, cunt, queer, fag, etc) that they're not accustomed to and it's like an immediate social boycott. Or even - the other day my parents were disgusted by how cutting my brother's violin teacher can be like oh that's abuse that's so rude blah blah blah. That's his job. He's supposed to criticise. And my dad, my dad who was the one who taught me to be like this, was so at sea when he walked in on one of my mental breakdowns like 'oh this negative self talk is becoming internalised' when all i said was 'i can't play this piece. At least not at the concert tomorrow.' and sure i was in tears and stuff but y'know sometimes that's art??? That's just what music does to you??? and it's ok, It's worth it!!!
and then, and then it's the same people that get so up in arms if you call them out for using a slur that doesn't apply to them that they can't reclaim or like unhealthy ways of thinking or just general 'abuse' (it's not really abuse it's just not particularly nice). And suddenly oh but that's just the way that we act! That's the way we're supposed to behave!
Like ugh I just hate the hypocrisy of it all. Sometimes I hang out with my friends, or just, like, other artists, after spending ages with regular people and I get shocked. But it's so refreshing because
oh it's bad to normalise unhealthy or harmful ways of life until it's their unhealthy and harmful way of life
idk is that just me?
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deus-and-the-machina · 2 years ago
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ngl the worst thing about the xenoblade fandom (which I think is the root cause of a lot of other issues) is that it’s mostly on twitter. I have to subject myself to twitter for any real consistent fan talk or content. legit there's always some new stupid topic of argument ive noticed in the past few weeks on there and its all very silly and frustrating and what im saying is everyone should move to Tumblr. please. for me. 
#siren says#the other root problem in the fandom is that as of 2 there's just a lot of fans who are clearly there for sexy anime lady reasons. and that#in turn bleeds into certain peoples perception of those characters as mostly sex symbols and attracts a lot of...certain kinds of#individuals. specifically ones who dont really understand what fandoms basic principals are. the amount of times ive seen someone going "um#but thats not canon or some comment along those lines is so stupidly high. and I thought it was just homophobia and certainly part of it is#but I also saw it on a fucking glimmer/nikol art??? like. neither of them have any other love interests and its a perfectly cute if cliche#pairing and you STILL have people being contrarian? I think a lot of these gamer bro types just dont understand basic fandom guidelines ngl#and idk I also feel kind of alienated from other queer fans bc I kind of like some of the ships most of them hate and I felt like if I ever#tried to reach out it would just be awkward idk. at least the people I see on tw who I think are very cool writers or artists or whatever#xenoblade really should be bigger on here Tumblr goes on and on about the romanticization of cannibalism and weird divine imagery#and machines that are also alive and maybe even angels and im like. BOY HOWDY DO I HAVE A SERIES FOR YOU#including saga and gears btw ESPECIALLY them actually. tumblr would love A's gender fuckery I just know it but A is stuck to mostly being#known by twitter a cruel fate for an enby if I ever saw one. free A :(((((#actually I just need to get a bunch of Aros into xenoblade they'd understand me then :3 understand me and my nontraditional relationship hcs#xenoblade#putting this in the main tags o7 pray for me
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ominousposting · 1 year ago
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i dont know what to do right now
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mango-nectars · 2 years ago
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musical-chick-13 · 6 days ago
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"[man I refuse to name] is innocent! I know this for absolute fact because of research and investigation I have done on my own!"
Yeah, hi, quick question: what were your thoughts on the A.H. v J.D. trial. Did you believe her? Did you "do your own research" then? Did you also claim you knew "for an absolute fact" that she was lying because of "investigative research"?
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