#i feel like i should tw this even if its in tags

[deepperplexity]

Prompt 23: Eve Of Revelations [C6]

Pairing: Judge Turpin x Fem!OC

POV: Dual POV (OC, First & Turpin, Third)

Continuation of: Prompt 4. Darkest Night [C1], Prompt 8. Never-ending Consequences [C2], Prompt 10. Lingering Touch [C3], Prompt 14. Deceptive Kindness [C4], Prompt 16. Thoughtful Gifts [C5]

A/N: It’s the day before Christmas Eve and I’m here with the ending of Turpin’s serial for this year’s event - I’m excited! I wasn’t sure how this would pan out when I started writing this part but I think it ended as it should and I’m actually super pleased with this ending ❤

LET’S GOOOOO! Turpin and Julianne need their HEA! 😍👏

Tags/TW’s: Dancing, Pining, Harsh Turpin, Love Confessions, Light Fluff, Kissing, Proposal (more like a demand, but, yeah), WE GET ANOTHER HEA FOR RICKMAS 2024!

Word Count: 4.2k

LINKTREE // AO3 // MASTERLIST

Eve Of Revelations

⁛•⁛ Julianne’s POV ⁛•⁛

A little more than a week had passed since I left Judge Turpin’s house after causing him yet another moment of disturbance with my intrusion and need for assistance. I had not once been able to let go of him in my thoughts, nor had my heart slowed in its beating for the man. It was odd, truly. I had no reason to feel as I did, nor had I been given any inclination that the man even truly saw me as anything but a citizen who had required aid.

As I clipped in the last false pearl in my hair and pinched my cheeks to turn them rosy I had to draw a steadying breath. The Christmas Ball was soon to commence and I had but a sorrow within me regarding it. A heavy weight atop my shoulders that had never been there before I met the great Judge Turpin — perhaps the weight would not be lifted for quite some time but I was in no position not to find a husband.

I walked with my pale blue dress held off the ground, the underskirts warded off the chill with the help of my cloak and it was a short walk from the Inn to the town hall where the ball was to be held. Lanterns hung around the entrance as well as a few garlands and red bows. Well, this is rather unpleasant but nothing to do about it. Perhaps Constable Greer is already here and I can do my utmost to secure him? He’s a respectable man, with a respectable profession, and not above my station. A possibility, at the very least, and I must clutch each one.

The Hall was warm and loud. Music played and people already danced about the floor as I gave my coat to one of the women by the door who hung it in a cloakroom and offered me a ticket with a number upon it. I thanked the woman and moved through to the large room decorated in green garlands, red satin strings, and an abundance of candles. It was rather beautiful, and the people seemed happy as the air filled with a warmth I had missed these past weeks in London. The city was a dark and gloomy place, absolutely, yet this room was inviting.

I walked in, looking around at the dancing couples and chatting people off the dance floor. Constable Greer waved at me before heading straight toward me with a wide smile on his slightly above-average face. “Miss Brimmer, what a pleasure to see you arrive, my lady,” he said and bowed as I curtsied. “Constable Greer, a pleasure indeed.” I smiled and he smiled right back. “Are you in need of refreshments, or would you prefer a dance?” he asked, not offering me an alternative where being accompanied by him was not an option — it was quite forward, quite bold, but that was all the better for me.

I smiled and let out a little laugh. “How forward of you, sir. I shall take a dance, if you are offering.” “A dance it is then,” he said and offered his hand. I took it and he moved us out on the floor among the other couples as a waltz began to play. His grip on me was soft and appropriate as we began moving about the room. He led me gently through the turns and spins and smiled happily at me. Yes, this man is a good option… Yet my heart was not in it. The heart matters little for marriage, Julianne. Now dance and smile.

Constable Greer finished off the waltz by dipping me gently despite it not being a true part of the dance. “How about that drink?” he asked, offering his arm as he had not held onto me beyond the dance. “Oh, yes please, sir.” I wrapped my arm around his and he walked me toward the refreshments while talking of London as a city for life and work, he mentioned his position within the force and many other things while I sipped the red wine and nodded when needed.

He was a friendly man, and a happy one it appeared. He had few words of ill-will to speak and kept the conversation flowing with little investment from me — a good thing, too, as I could not truly find many words to speak to the man. The weight atop my shoulders only grew as time passed and my thoughts and heart were elsewhere, far away from the bright and warm room so at odds with the gloomy house that I had found a different kind of warmth within.

“May I ask for another dance, Miss Brimmer?” Constable Greer inquired as I sat my empty wine glass down on the counter. “Certainly, Constable,” I replied with a smile and he once more led me to the floor now packed with couples. We found a little section of space and he held me closer than before so as not to bump into the other dancers before he began moving me about gently.

He still spoke of things like preferred foods and weather, of places in London to visit and people he was willing to introduce me to. It all went quite over my head as I struggled to pay attention and keep my smile bright enough. You need a husband, Julianne! Do not allow your silly thoughts and idiotic feelings for another man far beyond your reach to interfere! Focus, and keep smiling. Do not let the man you will never forget and never reach… My thoughts dwindled out as my smile faltered while Constable Greer spun me around in his gentle grasp.

⁛•⁛ Turpin’s POV ⁛•⁛

| During the same time as Miss Brimmer danced… |

He had held out until the clock struck nine. The very notion of your smile gracing the eyes of those attending such a frivolous thing as a Christmas Ball oddly had him deeply uncomfortable. Did you not say it was such a thing? Yet, you are to attend… with men ogling that perfect smile and hearing that sweet voice in all its warmth and, lightness…

He adorned his coat and hat, his face distorting with a sneer as he jerked the door open and strode out into the dark of night lit by lanterns casting a low glow across the dirty snow below. As he crossed the line between his home and the city. The creaking iron gate threw the infuriating memory of your fear and tear-stained cheeks at him. Unforgivable to cause a light as her such… fear.

Yet, that was not the reason for the long strides carrying him through London for said frivolous gathering. No. Oh no. His mind had a far darker water to wade through as his own villainous side prodded with vicious intent. Not for her, no… For whoever dared entertain even the idea of procuring the little light’s slender hand in marriage. It was her purpose for visiting London, after all. Yet, that purpose, could now only be allowed to have but one… sole… outcome…

“I shall have her,” he said under his breath in a near-desperate manner. For she had, undoubtedly, infected his skin with the warmth he sought and a brightness of voice which ought to have grated on his nerves as it never quieted yet he had found himself listening to it — each word she had spoken so brightly. It had been a violation of an unspoken rule for her to speak so freely in his presence. Yet, she had done so. And that, coincidentally, had now been the ruin of her future and extended to a life sentence of the so-called bad luck she had spoken of. For it certainly was bad luck that she had arrested him so fully, even if perhaps unwittingly done on her part.

He stepped into the Hall, its light a stark contrast to the dark of London behind him. The music an assault on his ears as the one sound he sought was nowhere to be heard. He would have heard Miss Brimmer, there was no hiding now that he had decided the path to be walked.

The couples danced as he was offered a wide expanse as all stepped out of his personal space. He paid them no mind, he had only a single person on it. But as the couples in dance spun around on the floor before him in an array of colours and wide variation of wealth displayed. There, a pale blue dress caught his eye as the woman who had occupied him so fully was dancing — in the arms of the man he had sent to help her all those days ago.

Get your hands, off, her… His mind snarled as he strode forward. His step faltered as Constable Greer spoke, and she smiled up at the man happily. His chest constricted at the sight of the little light she was with a man smiling brightly in return; in a manner he never could.

Then her face altered, slowly it sank in joy and a sight so wrong arrested him in turn. Miss Brimmer no longer smiled, and he had yet to hear or see her speak despite him knowing she was so talkative. Her words rang in his head, words of sorrow and fear tying her tongue while other emotions were no noose to her voice according to the woman herself.

His face hardened, his lips thinned further and his posture became as rigid as it had ever been while he could not stop himself from straightening into his full height. He restrained himself, held his mouth shut and forced his legs to move him forward in a harsh stride with controlled steps so as not to run like a fool in love. Surely, he was not… Surely…

⁛•⁛ Julianne’s POV ⁛•⁛

My arm stretched out just as he spun me out fully. I gasped and twisted my head as a large hand gripped my outreached one so strongly and steadily my heart stuttered with remembrance. My eyes found him a mere second later. J-Judge Turpin… You— His steely glare halted my mind as his grip remained unyielding and decisive while my breath stuttered and my fingers instinctively gripped around his with the unwavering wish for him to not let go.

Constable Greer released me, I could hear his heels click and, in my peripheral, I saw him bow in a rush despite my eyes being held by His Lordship through it all. “Judge Turpin,” Greer said in a rapped manner with far less warmth in his voice, replaced by a dread and respect so different from the warmth that bloomed in my heart. “Constable Greer,” he said. “I shall take this little light off your hands. Leave,” he demanded and Constable Greer did not even utter so much as stuttered breath before stepping back.

The judge tugged me forward and I stumbled a step before his free hand caught my waist and his sturdy grip never faltered or loosened. “Judge Turpin, sir, you are here,” I said quietly, shocked into a low tone. “Indeed, how observant you are, Miss Brimmer.” My cheeks warmed and a smile widened my lips with no prompting from me. “I apologize for stating the obvious, sir. I am merely surprised, shocked, even, my lord.” He arched a brow at me and drew me even closer. “Yet now you speak.”

My brows scrunched. I had no idea what he meant by that. “You have been quiet, my talkative little light,” he explained in a low murmur so dark and consuming I could barely comprehend the words despite hearing him clearly. “I believe I have talked most of our time together, sir. Have I not?” He smirked, it was a devilish ordering of his features as it shined with a powerful sort of satisfaction. “Indeed, you have.” He had me at a loss with that but, for the time being, I did not care for the reason behind what he said.

The music still flowed and the couples around us danced yet none bumped into us — nor did they invade the space around the man holding me so firmly. He had still not let go, and the feel of his stable hands was soothing on a whole other level. I ought to have curtsied, but he offered me no freedom to do so as we stood in a sudden silence that I felt no need to fill with words — for the first time in my life. My smile never faltered, my cheeks still hot with a blush he set upon me by merely being there.

My heart fluttered and my fingers tingled while my knees shook as his unyielding eyes never left mine. “Miss Brimmer,” he began quietly while taking a step back, which moved us to a more proper distance. “I do not frolic under these circumstances.” “Is this you telling me you do not dance, sir?” I asked with a slight giggle. “No. I dance. I am quite proficient at it.” “I believe you…” I whispered as he arched a brow at me with a sudden, tiny twinkle to the steely grey. “Come, we shall return to my home. You do not need to remain here.”

I blinked. Whatever spell he had me under flickered for a moment as my purpose for attending the party in London returned to me. “I apologize, sir. I have no choice in the matter. Even if I do not wish to offend you, or deny you, my lord, I must remain here. I do believe you have just scared off the only prospect I had managed to garner the attention of,” I said and my smile faltered for a bit while his hand hardened around mine. “You are denying me, miss?” he asked in a harder, darker voice than I had heard him speak to me with before. “I will not be denied.” “But, sir, I must find a husband. You know of this, I spoke of this with—” “Yes.” “Then why are you—” “You have procured a husband.” I blinked. “Huh? What? I have not, sir.”

He smirked, his thumb stroking over my knuckles while my heart beat harder within my chest. “I believe you declared your future husband as a grand and respectable man.” “I have done no such thing.” The only one I spoke such words about is you and you are far— “Ah… You made the connection, little light.” “S-sir-!” I wheezed, feeling my mind fall into a tumble and my heart into an absolute fit. “Come now,” he said quietly. “I shall not be denied.” “But sir, you are far too grand and I am but the daughter of a smith master. I could not possibly ever be worthy of a man of your standing.”

He arched a brow at me, his features hard and set. “Not worthy?” he snarled. “Miss Brimmer, you are the only worthy one on this wretched earth of ruin and damnation. I shall take your light, and I. will. not. hear another word out of that sweet mouth that is not an agreement. You shall take responsibility for the state you have so foolishly placed me in.”

I gaped at the man my heart was in such a rage for. Was he truly declaring that I affected him? That he was affected by me in a manner so capturing it brought marriage to his mind? I am losing my marbles. This cannot be happening, I am not the sort of person who is blessed with such luck. The judge knew this. He knew of my bad luck and my talkative manners, my less-than-proper behaviour and my lack of standing in society. I had only ever hoped to find a man of my own stature — a farmer, a blacksmith, a shoemaker perhaps. Yet, there he stood, proclaiming that he wished to have me as his wife and that he would not be denied by me. I am in no position to deny him, and I do not wish to… But, what if he is toying with me? Playing some cruel trick upon this lesser woman before him knowing none would come to aid me?

“Sir… Are you toying with me?” I asked, my fingers growing numb in his sturdy grip as my voice faltered in my fear of heartbreak. “I am not a man with the time nor the inclination to toy with a woman, not… in this manner,” he said and there was both a smirk and a hint of frustration coming with those words. “You wish to take me as your wife? Truly, my lord?” “Am I such an inconceivable partner? Are you so deterred by me?” “No!” I gasped. “No. No, sir… I am-, I am-, I…” “Then agree,” he demanded. “Be my wife.” “Y-yes. Yes, my lord,” I whispered as my knees shook and my stomach was in an upheaval under the satisfied eyes looking down at me.

⁛•⁛

I cannot believe it. My mind raced, my heart pounded, and a smile stretched my lips so widely my cheeks hurt. I, the black cat crossing the road, had been asked to wed the only man my heart had ever been affected by. A man so far out of my reach, so different from myself in every manner conceivable. The gloomy house of which parlour I was situated in — as the man himself had gone to change out of his outdoor attire — felt slightly warmer than before. The angel I had gifted him stood atop the mantel, the only piece of Christmas spirit in sight.

Judge Turpin strode into the room, all stark and stoic with that air of power one could not possibly mistake for anything else. “Sir,” I said as he stopped before me. “I must confess to some confusion. Why me? Why wed me?” “You do not know?” I shook my head. “Neither do I.” “What? You are wanting to wed a woman such as me without a reason?” “No. There are many reasons, each one stranger than the next.” “Oh, so, it is a strange thing even for you, sir.” “No. The reasons are strange, but that I am to wed you is not.” “Sir, I do not understand when you speak in riddles in such a way,” I confessed as my need to know he was indeed not toying with my innocent heart grew ever larger.

He sat down beside me on the sofa, his posture rigid and his face showed no hints of his thoughts. “Are you aware of who I am, miss?” “Yes, of course I am. Your reputation has spread all over London, sir. There is not a man or woman who does not know your name or the fierceness of your court. You are a most harsh judge, a pillar for the law and justice in a most severe manner, sir. Who would not be aware of you? Well, granted, I did not know who you were before your name was spoken but that is merely a lack of awareness for features,” I said, chatting away as his presence comforted me with its rigidity. I felt as if I knew where I had him, and there was just something rather pleasant about the harshness of him — the manner he existed in spoke to some lack of it within me, I was his opposite and where the world frightened me it seemed to bow before him.

“Talkative?” I smiled. “Always, sir.” “Incorrect.” “Sir?” He glanced at me. “When frightened or saddened, you speak very little.” “Ah, yes, true, my lord.” “That is one of the strange reasons, little light.” “That I do not talk while afraid or sad?” He chuckled; a most glorious and deep sound. “You are talkative with me, as if there is no fear in a sweet woman such as yourself in my presence.” “There is not…” I whispered. “You are a grand man, harsh and stoic with the power of the law at your fingertips but I do not fear the man of the rumours nor the man sitting here with me. There is nothing about you that frightens me, sir. Quite the opposite. You are everything I am not, sir.” “Explain.”

I drew a small breath, rubbing my fingers together atop my thighs before pinching the blue fabric. “I am frightened of the world. I am small and of little consequence, I talk too much and come off as either brazen or frustrating — to some I am humorous or inviting, too, I suppose. I have little value and am not a pillar of anything. I am quite the opposite of you and you… are everything I am not. There is little I can do about who I am or what bad luck afflicts me, nor can I control my heart or mind as it longs for you because of how you make me feel.” He arched a brow. “And how is that?” “Safe. Safe, sir.”

He looked at me. For a second he softened and the steely eyes swirled for a moment before he seemed to find himself anew. “My dark heart calls for you as well, Miss Brimmer. It has never called for another and I am, as you say, the opposite of you. Where you see it as unreasonable for us to wed I will not be denied. Where you see me as out of your reach, I can with ease take you.” I gulped. “Sir… You speak most sweetly.” “No, I do not. I shall teach you the ways of my world, and I shall teach you to know you belong to me, by my side. You shall learn, little light, that the only one worthy is you.” His voice hummed and rumbled with a forboding wickedness I could not place yet it had a tingle shoot through my body as my breathing turned shallow under his intense gaze as he spoke.

“S-sir, I do not understand what you mean. But I find myself n-not caring when you speak in such a manner.” He leaned closer. “And what, do tell, is the manner in which I speak?” I drew a ragged breath, my chest heaved as he inched inappropriately close. “W-with want, my lord. With want and warmth…” Much like my cheeks are now burning your words seem to do so as well.

He was far too close, his breath fanned my face and I could barely draw breaths deep enough to sustain myself. “There is want, Miss Brimmer—” “Julianne, my lord. Please, my name, it is Julianne.” “Julianne…” Hearing my name spoken in his thunderous voice in such a dark purr had me staving off a needy sound I had never felt myself inclined to make before. “A most suitable name, perfectly paired with Richard, as is my name.” “Richard,” I whispered and his eyes widened. “Again,” he demanded. I swallowed, my eyes flicking between his for a moment. “Richard.”

A strange snarl mixed with a harsh breath left him and before I knew it his lips pressed against mine, suffocating the gasp leaving me and swallowing the strange moan of want leaving me. His thin lips were unlike any I had imagined would kiss me and the manner the tip of his nose dug into my cheek felt perfect — never had I imagined my first kiss to set me on fire.

“Exquisite,” he purred as he leaned back, leaving me panting and heaving while unable to move. “I shall wed you, Julianne, and you shall be mine for all time to come. I shall help you overcome your fear of the world and you shall forever be a light in my darkness as you have been from the moment I found you.” “S-sir, you are toying with me now,” I whispered as my voice faltered. “I assure you, I am not.” “I never thought you felt anything for me,” I pushed out as his hand cupped my chin steadily. “I assure you, none other would ever have been allowed to disturb my peace with constant chatter. Nor would I have offered my home as a sanctuary. You affected me from the very first moment I laid eyes upon your smiling face in the dark of night.” “I found you handsome and inviting, sir,” I confessed. “I felt safe, protected, for the first time in my life there was no need to fear…”

He tilted my head to hold my gaze. “You have captured me,” he murmured. “As you have me, Richard. I do not believe in love at first sight, yet I find myself loving you already…” His eyes widened. “I am a fool in love,” he hummed and his lips met mine once more while his steady hand kept me in place. Not once did he let go as warmth bloomed in my chest and the certainty of my future with him released my shoulders from their stiffness when his tongue darted out to caress my bottom lip roguishly. “Mine,” he declared against my lips and the depth of his voice quieted my mind completely. “Yours…” I whispered as the gloom seemed brighter and the house warmer…

 

LINKTREE // AO3 // MASTERLIST

A/N: These two, I adore them. I hope you’ve loved this story ❤ tomorrow is the last day of Rickmas, and Christmas Eve, meaning the fifth Rickmas celebration will be concluded and I am absolutely thrilled to have managed a fic a day all through this event (she says as she’s needing to still write, prepare and proof tomorrow's fic 😂👏). I’ll see you tomorrow darlings! ❤❤❤

TAGLIST: @lizlil @snapefiction @darkthought15 @monstreviolet @flowerdementia @marvelschriss @once-upon-an-imagine @ravennight41 @caseydoodles98 @slytherinprincess03 @theconsultingdetectiveswife @grimmyhild @monster-energies @myobscureimaginarium @snowblossomreads @eternal-silvertongued-prince @cherryglossie @setsuna-meiou31 @helena211 @a-queen-and-her-throne @justsaturn0 @turvi @dontwanttobeanamercanidiot @sunnylikesfrogs @dianilaws @snapesno1thighrider @sassanoe @snapesrn @bernadette-peters12 @sammy-13 @smartowl999 @castleofthorns @serenanight87 @leah1243 @cherihan @poetry-and-tea @evans23 @mamawolfsmith87 @snapesrn @severussimp @slyckman @liv2post @clawsthecactus @goldenglowwoman @elizabeth-baelish @severuslovebot @thethotthatbreathes @rickmandowneyjr @yellowbadgermole @snapesangel @commodoreseverus @reinekefoxart @lght-n-drk @cathym1102 @ankhmutes @theheartwants-what-itwants @slyckman @thatlittlefangirl @sanji-simp @ankhmutes @lessdepressy @snapesrn @theheartwants-what-itwants @slyckman @daddythanatos @sanji-simp

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[roxyco-deliverygirl]

Hi delivery girlie mild crisis

[ghastlyaffairs]

for something as trivial and simple those feelings sure are hard to get rid of

also made a gif a version for fun + alt version with no tears under the cut

the gif is in very low resolution...this is a feature (i could make it bigger but that would require saving each frame individually and than glueing it all together. also i feel like low resolution suits it better. aesthetically and fits the mood)

[brambeag]

birth of baby durge

[lover-of-mine]

Fought 'til you tethered me, swept under surfaces, never enough of it...

[transmasccofee]

the time loop chapter is so fucked up i think about it every day and reading the manga its worse because there’s certain dialogue that was cut out of the anime (presumably to make it acceptable for kids)

Like ok. im gonna give a play by play from Saiki’s POV. so you can For a second imagine how much stress Saiki had to be under.

Imagine walking home from school and out of nowhere you get trapped in a time loop, already bad, but you can get out of it easy- except uh oh! now you are in ANOTHER time loop. ok, fine, get out of that. It goes on so long that you eventually stop being able to process anything around you but whatever, its fine. EXCEPT UH OH! A THIRD TIME LOOP! This time you are trapped in a loop of watching your best friend run into traffic to protect a small child, and the only one able to save them from dying brutally is you. You save the day, great, Unfortunately this is a time loop and now you’re trapped in this hell, watching your best friend dive in front of a moving truck. You need to have an empty mind to leave this, but thats hard because you also have to keep them from getting flattened. You’re getting more and more exhausted, but thats fine. You watch them get brutally killed in various ways thousands of times, over and over and over and over again, but thats fine. it’s still looping. you keep failing to save them. it’s still looping.

Rather than emptying your mind, Eventually you just disassociate, its gone on so long that your body is moving on its own. You are so tired, and you’ve seen your best friends organs on the road now probably a couple hundred times at this point (seriously Wtf Asou) and so it’s all just blended into the background.

You disassociate so hard your mind is empty. Your body moves on its own to save them. The Time Loop is finally over. You went through this 16,785 times.

[dizzybevvie]

"not pro-ana just using the tags" "pro-ana only for myself" Ok but you see how you're still hurting people right. you see how you're perpetuating this mindset for other people by posting about it right.

[mysterious-corpse]

so fucking upset. i looked up what's considered concerning weight loss and got a statistic. i looked up the same question but specified teens and i got a bunch of articles about how to lose weight. what the fuck

[an-theduckin]

Wait shit people might actually care about me

[thatnerdyqueer]

do yall ever get soooo sick of people pretending that life is so sanitised all the time?

Like how scandalised some people act the moment a story mentions something slightly unhealthy? Or you insult someone, or not even insult - just use a word (bitch, cunt, queer, fag, etc) that they're not accustomed to and it's like an immediate social boycott. Or even - the other day my parents were disgusted by how cutting my brother's violin teacher can be like oh that's abuse that's so rude blah blah blah. That's his job. He's supposed to criticise. And my dad, my dad who was the one who taught me to be like this, was so at sea when he walked in on one of my mental breakdowns like 'oh this negative self talk is becoming internalised' when all i said was 'i can't play this piece. At least not at the concert tomorrow.' and sure i was in tears and stuff but y'know sometimes that's art??? That's just what music does to you??? and it's ok, It's worth it!!!

and then, and then it's the same people that get so up in arms if you call them out for using a slur that doesn't apply to them that they can't reclaim or like unhealthy ways of thinking or just general 'abuse' (it's not really abuse it's just not particularly nice). And suddenly oh but that's just the way that we act! That's the way we're supposed to behave!

Like ugh I just hate the hypocrisy of it all. Sometimes I hang out with my friends, or just, like, other artists, after spending ages with regular people and I get shocked. But it's so refreshing because

oh it's bad to normalise unhealthy or harmful ways of life until it's their unhealthy and harmful way of life

idk is that just me?

[deus-and-the-machina]

ngl the worst thing about the xenoblade fandom (which I think is the root cause of a lot of other issues) is that it’s mostly on twitter. I have to subject myself to twitter for any real consistent fan talk or content. legit there's always some new stupid topic of argument ive noticed in the past few weeks on there and its all very silly and frustrating and what im saying is everyone should move to Tumblr. please. for me. 

[xxlethal-lunaxx]

If anyone relates to this even just a little bit, then I'm so sorry.

[ominousposting]

i dont know what to do right now

[pepprs]

i guess im starting a tradition of double ventposting lol but the last thing i’llsay (maybe) is like… all of that has a caveat which is that my emotional object permanence has been absolutely OBLITERATED by 3 yrs of covid hell and it is really doing a number on me. clearly

[mango-nectars]

.

[lucysweatslove]

You would think as a person who recovered from an ED I would learn NOT to weigh myself, like, ever, but of course I keep doing it because curiosity and it only causes distress.