#i feel after a year and all of the 'youre a good friend' shit that maybe i was at least entitled to a 'fuck off kys' text and then a block
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yapper
barca femeni x reader
summary: you always had something to say
warnings: angst, online hate
you've always been the one to fill the quiet.
if the locker room was silent, you’d throw out a joke. sometimes so bad it would have everyone laughing just because of how ridiculous it was. your teammates loved you for it—or at least you thought they did.
you didn’t want anyone to sit in nervous energy before a big game. you wanted everyone to feel at ease, to smile, to believe they could take on anything since this was literally barcelona– of course the best club in the world could handle anything.
“why are you so loud?” mapi teased one day after you cracked a pun about her tattoos during a media day.
you grinned at her.
“because someone has to keep this team awake. what would you do without me? shit, i don’t know how you survived without me for long.”
“probably enjoy the peace and quiet,” she shot back, but the grin on her face told you otherwise.
you knew mapi got all the credit for being the talker of the group, but you easily topped her in that department. kika often joked that you had a built-in microphone, always on and ready to broadcast.
yet, despite all the jokes, you never felt like it was too much. not until recently.
training sessions at barça were something you relished, even on your worst days. being surrounded by alexia, kika, and esmee—your closest friends on the team—always made it feel less like work.
alexia was like a big sister, always ready to listen. kika was your partner-in-crime, teasing you relentlessly, but never crossing the line. esmee? she was your rock, her quiet presence balanced your constant energy, grounding you in ways you didn’t think anyone could.
after a long training session one evening, you found yourself alone on the practice pitch. penalties were your weak spot, and you wanted to fix that. you lined up the ball, took a deep breath, and sent it toward the net. it hit the post.
“what are you doing here so late?” alexia’s voice startled you.
you jumped, clutching your chest dramatically.
“you scared me! i could’ve died.”
she smirked, arms crossed as she walked closer.
“you didn’t answer my question.”
“what are you doing here?” you tried to deflect.
“i asked first.”
rolling your eyes, you motioned to the ball.
“penalties. i suck at them.”
alexia raised a brow.
“you’re not even one of the main takers.”
“exactly! that’s why i suck! i need to be better in case i ever have to take one, you know what if you frido or ewa are not available?” you rambled, launching into an explanation of all the ways penalties terrified you.
alexia didn’t interrupt, just watched you with that calm, almost maternal expression she always had.
“you’re overthinking it,” she finally said, cutting through your spiral.
“just keep practicing. you’ll be fine.”
her reassurance helped more than you wanted to admit. alexia had that effect on people, like she could carry all your worries on her shoulders and not even flinch.
a few days later, you stopped by esmee’s apartment, where she was curled up on the couch with her girlfriend, dani. the sight of them together tugged at something in your chest, a reminder of what you used to have with emily.
“finally over her,” you announced as you plopped down beside them, grabbing a handful of popcorn from the bowl on esmee’s lap.
“who?” danielle asked, clearly out of the loop.
“emily,” esmee filled in. “her ex.”
“oh, good for you,” danielle said with a smile through her dutch accent.
“it’s about time, right?”
you laughed, nodding.
“yeah, it only took me almost a year.”
however, later that week, you saw something that made your chest tighten all over again. scrolling through instagram, you stumbled upon a photo of emily with another girl, their smiles wide and carefree in north london.
it shouldn’t have mattered. you were over the woman three years your senior. however, it stung in a way you didn’t expect.
then came the champions league quarterfinal against bayern munich. the mistake was small—a misplaced pass, a missed mark—but pernille made you pay for it with a screamer that tied the game.
1-1.
after the game, you did your best to shake it off, smiling for the cameras, joking with alexia and frido. you thought you’d done well hiding your disappointment.
the internet didn’t let it slide.
“y/n talks too much. maybe she should focus on her game instead.”
“doesn’t she get tired of hearing her own voice?”
“the team probably wishes she’d shut up for once.”
the comments were harsh, cruel, and loud in your mind. you tried to brush them off, but the words stuck, clinging to you like thorns.
the next day at training, you were different. quieter. focused. when kika asked if you were okay, you only nodded, too afraid that anything you said might annoy someone.
“you sure?” she pressed.
you nodded again, forcing a small smile.
“weird,” she muttered under her breath, walking away.
alexia and aitana exchanged glances, both noticing the shift. esmee tried to pull you into a conversation during a water break, but you only offered short replies, your usual energy gone.
that night in the locker room, after everyone else had left, you stayed behind, the weight of it all finally crashing down on you. in the showers, the tears came hard and fast, your shoulders shaking as you tried to keep quiet.
though the locker room echoed, and when you emerged, changed and ready to leave, alexia, kika, esmee, and ellie were waiting for you.
“we heard you crying,” kika said softly, her eyes full of concern.
“what’s going on?”
you hesitated, swallowing hard.
“nothing.”
“don’t lie,” alexia said, her voice gentle but firm.
“i don’t…” you trailed off, taking a deep breath.
“i don’t want to annoy you guys.”
they all looked at you like you’d grown a second head.
“annoy us?” esmee asked, incredulous.
“i talk too much. i saw what people were saying online, and… maybe they’re right.”
“y/n,” alexia started, stepping closer.
“we love you. all of us. you make this team better, not worse.”
“you think we don’t look forward to hearing your ridiculous jokes every day?” kika added, her tone light but sincere.
“you’re the reason we laugh half the time.”
“is that mistake against bayern bothering you?” ellie chimed in. “it happens to everyone. it doesn’t define you.”
their words broke through the wall you’d built, and before you knew it, they were pulling you into a group hug.
“promise us you won’t let those comments get to you again,” alexia said, her hand on your shoulder.
you nodded, sniffling.
“i promise.”
“good,” kika said, grinning.
“now, what were you going to say about the athletic club match?”
and just like that, you found yourself rambling again. they listened, laughing and teasing you like always, reminding you that this was where you belonged.
masterlist
#barca femeni#woso fanfics#barcelona femeni#woso x reader#woso community#fc barcelona#alexia putellas#esmee brugts#kika nazareth#ellie roebuck#mapi leon
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I worry sometimes about the beautiful fantasy that certain conservative stay at home moms are selling on places like tiktok and Instagram. A lot of them are acting like stay at home moms should never work or do finances or something and that’s just not right.
Both of my grandmothers were stay at home moms but neither of my grandfathers forced them into it. My dad’s mom helped run the family construction business and did some freelance architecture design on the side and my mom’s mom just hated working and worked part time as a teller on and off during times they needed more money. And both of my grandfathers knew how to cook. They didn’t cook most of the time but sometimes the wife is sick or off visiting her parents so you’ve gotta know how to whip up some corn chowder or something for the kids after work.
A lot of “stay at home spouses” or “homemakers” work actually. Including those trad wife influencers or even occasional house husband influencers you see on Instagram and tiktok. Their job ironically enough is being a homemaker influencer. The second that person turns on a camera for money they’re no longer solely working as a homemaker.
The idea that there’s some perfect life you can live where all you do is clean and cook and have perfect little babies is a fantasy. Parenthood involves vomit. Relationships involve disagreements. Most households necessitate having two incomes at some point, especially if your main source of income is a business. Businesses are inconsistent sources of money. Freelance work is an inconsistent source of money. It’s also important to have your own means of financial support in case your spouse decides to stop being a good person someday. It might not happen to you but there’s also no guarantee that it won’t. And a decent person won’t feel threatened by you wanting to have your own means of income because if they’re a good person then generally they shouldn’t have to financially trap you in order to get you to stay with them.
Thankfully neither of my grandfathers turned out to be total pieces of shit but in case they did one of my grandmothers had her investments and architecture and drafting skills to fall back on and the other had years of experience as a bank teller that could’ve gotten her a full time job in most places. And both of these women ended up raising daughters that grew up to have careers.
My mother was also a part time teacher that spent a good amount of her time raising my brother and I when she was alive. But she had her own money and could have left at any time if she needed to and when she died my dad still had all the skills needed to raise us and teach my brother and I how to do basic household tasks.
If your life’s dream is to be a stay at home parent I’m not going to tell you that’s a stupid dream. What I am going to tell you is a) it’s not glamorous and stress-free and you should not expect it to be like that, b) have an escape plan just in case and fully understand what you’re getting into financially, and c) pick someone as your partner who knows how to do basic household tasks even if they won’t be doing them most of the time because you will get sick, you will get tired, you will visit your friends or family and you want someone who can get your kids dressed and cook them dinner in the event that you can’t.
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24 to 25٠࣪⭑
── .✦ A snowstorm forces you to take refuge with Jisung on christmas eve
word count: 6.6k
genre: fluff with a little angst, jisung x female reader, mutual pining, comfort, acquaintances to lovers
warnings: cursing, feelings, reader is down horrendously bad for jisung, kisses, jisung is a sweetheart
a/n: this has been in the works for a while (i’m bad at writing stuff fast) SO IM SUPER HAPPY THAT I WAS ABLE TO GET IT OUT FOR THE HOLIDAY SEASON
any/all feedback is highly appreciated!!
taglist: @jisunggy @holly-here @hannamoon143 @fly-you-dam-fools
if you would like to be added to my general taglist, send me a comment or an ask! <3
─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───
The holiday season is a time for joy, a time to share laughter and meals, a time to wear fuzzy socks and fall asleep watching bad Christmas movies. Well, that’s what it’s supposed to be anyways. It’s a little hard to get into the Christmas cheer when each snowflake swirling outside your windshield is somehow concerningly larger than the last.
Wind whistles past your car as you squint your eyes, trying — and failing— to get any sort of visibility through the rapidly thickening blanket of snow and darkness. The gas light flashes on with a ping. Damn it. Continuing on whilst the best you can make out of your surroundings is a screen of nothingness and the occasional telephone pole doesn’t seem like the best course of action right now.
Eventually, you manage to pull into a small gas station about five minutes away by reluctantly putting your life into the hands of Google Maps.
Blowing warmth onto your hands, white-knuckled from your death grip on the steering wheel, you yank your phone out of the cupholder. Stranded in some dingy parking lot a good forty-five minutes away from your apartment is definitely where you needed to be on Christmas Eve, thanks so much universe. And your feet are cold.
You had really wanted to surprise them. The last time you’d seen your family was back in March, well over half a year ago. You thought Christmas as the perfect opportunity to visit. Just imagining the look on their faces alone was more than enough to spur your enthusiasm. But, then again, you hear the worries in the back of your mind. You hadn’t visited in so long, rarely even sending a text their way. And coming over with zero warning? They might not be as happy as you hoped.
No, of course they would be happy to see you, right? Right. Either way, there’s no way you’re going anywhere tonight.
Warm air from the AC fans across your face as you slump back in your chair, unfastening the top clasp of your coat that suddenly seems to be suffocating you. What do you even do in this situation? Call someone?
Scrolling through your contacts, your eyes alight on a familiar name.
Han Jisung
You face lights up with hope. Didn’t he say something about living around here? You open his contact, immediately faced with the looming call button in the top right corner of the screen.
Jisung is somewhat of an aquaintance of yours. Calling him a friend might be too bold. Being partners on a group project doesn’t automatically equal friendship, but you two had gotten along quite well. At least, you thought so. Maybe that was wishful thinking coming from your fat crush on him and his gorgeous smile, but still.
What are you doing? You hardly know this guy, and you’re going to call him on Christmas Eve night so he can, what, pick you up? You have to admit, the thought sets off little warning bells in your head. But what other options do you have?
Finger hovering over the button, you hesitate for a moment longer before pressing call.
The line rings once, twice. What if he doesn’t answer? He’s probably busy, it is Christmas eve after all. Did he ever mention leaving town for the holidays?
You’re so busy trying to recall previous conversations with him that you almost don’t notice the line picking up before the third ring. Shit, that was faster than you were expecting. Jisung’s voice greets you through the speaker.
“Heyy, what’s up?”
At the sound of his voice, your heart does a little leap in your chest. You take a deep breath before answering.
“Hi Jisung. I, uh, have a bit of a favor to ask.”
⋆⁺₊❅ ⁺₊❆⋆
You were right about him living close, because less than fifteen minutes later the bright flash of headlights announces Jisung’s arrival. You know that looking nice should be the least of your priorities right now, but that doesn’t stop you from flipping open the sunvisor and briefly inspecting your appearance.
Jisung’s car door thuds shut as you hop out of your own car, met with a brisk rush of air that fills your lungs, chilling you from the inside out. He wasn’t far, but with the heavy snow you can just make out his form from across the lot. You’re quick to hustle towards his dark sillouette, eager to get out of the cold as soon as possible.
Meeting in the middle sooner than you had expected, both you and Jisung halt in tandem, breaths coming in puffs of condensation. The zipper of his puffer jacket is half undone, complimented by a scarf thrown haphazardly around his neck. His hands that are shoved deep in the pockets of his coat give hint to the fact that he’s probably not even wearing gloves.
Neither of you had spoken a word. The silence is painfully awkward, and you can tell he feels it too, if the way he glances down at his feet in favor of meeting your eyes is anything to go by.
“So, do you—”
“Should we—”
Speaking simultaneously, you both cut your sentences short, falling into a silence that’s somehow louder than the last. God, you had expected it to be awkward but not this awkward. Meeting with Jisung outside of a college setting feels so foreign, the only way you’ve interacted with him thus far has been through school. You can feel your ears burn as Jisung clears his throat.
“Sorry, uh, you were saying?” He pulls his hand out of his pocket to gesture at you, confirming that he is indeed not wearing gloves.
The question hangs in the air as Jisung pushes his glasses up with two fingers and looks at you expectantly. His cheeks are tinted with blush from the prickling cold. Lips slightly parted, his breath hisses through his teeth with every inhale, as if trying to supress them from chattering.
“Oh, yeah,” you begin your sentence again, shaking your head to focus. You’re standing in a parking lot in the middle of an actual snowstorm, now is not the time to be fawning over him. “should we, like, head to your car? I’m freezing. I’ll just leave my car here because it’s— yeah.” You twist around to look at your drab little car. It’ll be fine.
He lets out a little puff of laughter, sending a cloud of frost into the air.
“Yeah, good idea. c’mon let’s go.”
⋆⁺₊❅⋆ ⁺₊❆⋆
The car ride to Jisung’s place is less awkward than your experience in the parking lot, but not by much. A comment is occasionally made about the storm, but other than that the ride is filled with silence and the steady swishing of windshield wipers.
Jisung glances at you from the corner of his eye. You’re examining the fluff on your gloves with your head down, not seeming too intrested in conversation.
Or maybe you’re uncomfortable. That would make a lot of sense.
Wincing internally at himself, Jisung draws his attention back to the road and furrows his brow, trying to remember if he’s done something wrong. Although, he supposes that being alone with, well, not a stranger— Jisung would like to think he’s at least a good aquaintance to you— but with someone you don't know too well, is enough to put anyone on edge. He has to remind himself that this was your idea.
When your contact info had popped up on his screen, interrupting his very important business (scrolling), he promptly froze, had an intense mental battle on how he should answer, dropped his phone, picked it back up again, and hit answer, all in the span of about four seconds.
Jisung has to admit he does have a slight thing for you. Well okay, maybe a big thing. Like, he has your class schedule and favorite study spot memorized kind of big. Also you wear your hair up on Tuesdays.
But thats besides the point really.
After what feels like a lifetime of driving and the occasional buzzing of muted christmas music playing through the radio, you two finally arrive at Jisung’s place.
It’s nicer than you had expected. The house is dimly lit, but perfectly tidy. Best of all, it’s warm. Behind you, Jisung’s keys jingle as he hangs them up next to the door.
“Uh, make yourself at home, okay? There’s instant ramen, some milk… actually, that’s about it but hey, at least there’s ramen.” He beckons you in, tugging his scarf off while smiling ruefully at the lack of food options to offer.
“That’s okay, I believe in instant ramen supremacy,” you state confidently, earning a laugh from Jisung as you follow him into the kitchen, resting your weight on the counter.
“A woman after my own heart I see,” He jokes, closing his eyes and placing a hand dramatically over his heart. His knuckles are still flushed pink from the cold.
If only he knew.
You can feel the awkward tension from earlier start to melt away now that you’re here. Thank God, because you were seriously considering going back to your car and just waiting out the night there. You couldn’t do that though. Jisung was so willing to help, coming as soon as you had called. Which is kind of crazy, if you stop to think about it for a second. Going out of your way to drive out in a snowstorm and picking someone up on Christmas Eve would be absolutely out of the question for most people, let alone someone you aren’t even close with.
Jisung is busying himself with running some warm water in the kitchen. He rests one elbow on the counter, testing the water tempature. You find yourself watching his movements, how he runs a hand through his hair, the dark strands dampening with the moisture from his hand, and how his eyebrows pinch in concentration until the tempature is just right. Jisung seems more comfortable and relaxed now that he’s here. He’s not a tall man, by any stretch of the imagination, but his confident demeanor makes his presence seem much larger.
Running his chilled hands underneath the warm faucet to bring the warmth back, Jisung looks to the window. You blink and follow suit. Fortunately, he hadn’t caught you staring.
“Holy shit, we must have made it here just in time,” He laughs incredulously, shutting off the sink and shaking the rest of the dampness from his hands.
The window is completely engulfed in white.
Outside, the wind angrily laments that you’re inside and safe. You can’t imagine being stuck out there in that, alone. Just the thought of it makes your insides churn with a strange mixture of anxiety and relief, and you realize that you haven’t even thanked Jisung yet for saving your sorry ass. You open your mouth, but the words seem to dry up on your tongue.
Jisung tilts his head at you, questioning.
“No for real, I haven’t seen a snow this crazy in a while,” Running your hand along the cool countertop, you fix your eyes on an unlit candle to the left of Jisung’s form. Why can’t you just say thank you? It’s not that hard, yet you find yourself avoiding the two simple words like the plauge.
A beat of silence falls over the two of you, but this time it’s comfortable. There’s no rush or pressure to say anything, just a quiet presence while gazing out at the bright sheet that blankets the night.
⋆⁺₊❅ ⁺₊❆⋆
You have an idea.
Is it a good idea? Probably not, but it’s an idea nonetheless.
While you had been absentmindedly thumbing through your Pinterest homepage in an attempt to pass time, you came across a recipe. And not just any recipe, it’s a sugar cookie recipe in the likeness of a snowman. With a little face on it.
The tantalizing image stirrs your sweet tooth, and you glance over at Jisung on the other side of the couch. He seems to be putting an obviously large amount of distance between the two of you, as the entire middle section of the couch remains empty with you and Jisung perched on either side.
“Hey, so… are you any good at baking?”
Jisung’s head jerks up at your question.
“Uhhh. I plead the fifth.”
You find yourself grinning.
“How about this, do you like baking?”
“Now that. Is a different story.” His knees spread apart as he adjusts his position on the couch, slouching lower and crossing his arms across his chest. He looks at you sideways. “What, did you have something in mind?”
You definitely do have something in mind, and it doesn't have anything to do with baking.
“Hear me out,” you point your phone screen at Jisung, who leans in to squint at it. “we make christmas cookies. In the shape of snowmen.”
“You know what, hell yeah. Nothing better to do,” Jisung stretches his arms towards the ceiling, hands balling up into fists. Your wandering eyes betray you, and you can’t help but notice the little sliver of smooth skin that peeks out from where his shirt slides up as he stretches. He needs to stop being so casually sexy right now or you might go crazy. “Cross your fingers though, ‘cause I dunno if I have any eggs.”
⋆⁺₊❅ ⁺₊❆⋆
Currently standing in a neat line across the countertop are all the gathered ingredients necessary for the cookies. Jisung had miraculously acquired two eggs from the depths of his fridge, which now sit next to the flour, and you had spent a good five minutes opening and closing cabinets in search of all the dry ingredients.
You’ve baked a couple of times before. Granted, the first time the cookies were still soft in the middle and the second time may or may not have involved the fire department, but third time’s the charm right? You’re determined to make and eat these cookies.
Next to you, Jisung is staring at the ingredients, hands on his hips. Seemingly at a loss, he looks over to you for instructions.
“Okay, step one: combine the dry ingredients…”
So far, so good. Jisung was put in charge of the flour mixture, while you had started the task of creaming the butter and sugar together.
When you glance up to check on Jisung after a bit, you find him leveling out a scoop of flour, meticulously brushing any stray lumps of powder off of the top with a butter knife. His eyes squint in concentration until he is satisfied with the measurement, proceeding to dump it into the bowl. A faint cloud of white powder dusts the air.
You watch him with amusement as he scoops another cup out of the flour bag, starting the whole process over again.
He must have felt you staring, because his head darts up, eyes finding yours. You quickly duck your head back towards your work.
You wonder if Jisung is a perfectionist with most things in his life. He’s mentioned before that he writes and produces music, you figure that has a certain degree of perfectionism to it. Then again, during the car ride here your feet were resting on several bags of fast food from various restaurants. Maybe his perfectionism is selective.
The undeveloped batter clings to the mixer as you switch it off and pull it out of the bowl. You swipe a finger over one of the whisks and pop it in your mouth. It might just be sugar and butter, but hey, that shit’s good.
Turning your head to offer Jisung a taste, you let out a gasp of surprise upon realizing that he’s standing right behind you. He leans forward, lowkey trapping you between him and the counter as he crosses an arm around you to scoop up some of the mixture from the edge of the bowl. Your breath catches at his proximity. His warm breath brushes againt your neck, causing a shiver to run up your spine.
He draws away, licking his finger while you remain frozen in place. What happened to him keeping a good distance from you? You don’t think he even realizes what he just did, because he just strolls on back to his little station, quietly humming a tune as he goes.
⋆⁺₊❅ ⁺₊❆⋆
As soon as the oven door slams shut, Jisung is immediately squatted in front of it, dutifully watching the uniform balls of dough through the yellow tint of the oven light.
“You know those will take, like, thirteen minutes to cook, right?” Leaning over the countertop, you raise an eyebrow at his crouched form.
“Thirteen? No way. I’ll basically be dead by then.” Jisung stands up, brushing some of the remaining flour off his pants. That’s when you notice a patch of white just above his left eyebrow. How did that even happen?
You step forward without thinking, reaching up to rub the spot off with your thumb. His skin is ridiculously soft, and you find your treacherous fingers lingering for probably longer than was strictly necessary.
Jisung’s eyes are twice as wide as normal as you pull your hand away. He blinks at you and swallows, causing his throat to bob up and down.
Oh so now he’s flustered. You’re beginning to think your little crush is reciprocated after all.
Momentarily confident, you send him a sweet smile.
“That’s better.”
Jisung doesn't say anything in return, but you don't think you’re imagining the slight red tint to his ears.
Three loud beeps announce that the cookies have completed their oven time and are now ready to be taken out and consumed.
Jisung arms himself with oven mitts and carefully slides the cookie tray out of the oven and onto the potholders that you had placed on the countertop a few minutes prior.
They look good. Like, really good. You can feel your mouth starting to water.
“Holy shit, I think we actually did it! Thank God they didn't catch on fire this time,” you exclaim, poking one experimentally with a finger.
Jisung’s eyebrows fly up and he shoots you a bewildered look.
“I thought you said you could cook??”
“Hey now, I never said that…”
⋆⁺₊❅⋆ ⁺₊❆⋆
Throughout the night, you have become painfully aware of the fact that you are wearing jeans.
Thankfully, since you were heading to your family’s house anyways, you have an entire suitcase packed with the works. Your comfy pajamas from last year are sounding really good right now.
Jisung is propped up on the corner of the couch with a cookie in one hand and his phone in the other. His cheeks are stuffed with probably half of said cookie right now, making him look like some sort of rodent. It’s cute.
You need to ask him where his bathroom is to change, but you find yourself hesitating. Jisung looks up at you with a confused expression and a cookie crumb clinging to his cheek.
Realizing that you’re just looming over the side of his couch ominously, you are quick to blurt out your question.
“Do you know where the bathroom is?”
Goddamnit. Of course he knows where his own fucking bathroom is. What kind of question is that?
Jisung, luckily, seems to have found it amusing, his eyes squinting up as he lets out a hearty laugh. Which almost, almost, makes up for the fact that you just asked the stupidest question in the history of mankind. It doesn’t stop your cheeks from heating up though.
“Yeah, I think it’s down the hallway to the left,”
He’s playing along. You wonder if he has any idea how much better that makes you feel as you break into a wide smile and thank him, scurrying off to go grab your…
Suitcase.
Your suitcase. Where was it? You don’t remember bringing it to Jisung’s place, where could it be? Did you- oh. You remember your dingy little car, sitting out there in the gas station parking lot. Your dingy little car that happened to have your suitcase in it.
Sometimes you surprise yourself, because how can one be this much of a mess? Everything has gone wrong tonight, and now this? You couldn’t even make it to your family’s house to surprise them. The weight of it all is beginning to crush you, forcing tears to well up in your eyes.
Stopping in the hallway around the corner, out of Jisung’s eyeshot, you shove your impending emotions down your throat, the roughness of the wall against your fist keeping you steady. You are not going to cry right now. You’ll find a solution. You just need to calm down first. Closing your eyes, you take in deep breaths, letting each exhale push you farther away from tears.
Once you’re sure you have yourself under control, you consider your options. You could ask Jisung for something to wear, or you could remain uncomfortable in your jeans for the remainder of the night. Now, you wouldn’t be upset about wearing Jisung’s clothes, not even in the slightest. They’d probably smell like him, too. How that man always smells so damn good is beyond you.
He’ll understand if you ask him for his clothes. You know he will. Hopefully, he won’t take it in the wrong way. It’s not like you want to wear his clothes, you just have to because you don’t have any other option.
Yeah no, you really just want to wear his clothes.
Rounding the corner, you expect to see Jisung on the couch only to find that he’s no longer in his spot, or in the living room, for that matter. He’s not in the kitchen either (which still has various baking supplies and smears of flour scattered about. You make a mental note to clean that up later). Huh. Maybe he went to his room. You settle down on the couch to wait for him, busying yourself with counting your knuckles.
Sock-padded footsteps cause your head to perk up in their direction. Jisung emerges from his room, closing the door behind him with his foot. His face lights up when he finds you on the couch.
“I wasn’t sure if you had brought any PJs or not, so, I grabbed some things you can wear,” He says, then seems to check himself and quickly adds, “If you want! You don’t, like, have to or anything, just thought I would offer.” In his arms he carries a pair of sweatpants and a hoodie.
You could kiss him right now.
“Oh my God, Jisung, are you sure?”
“Yeah, of course, it’s no problem at all.” He reassures you.
Jisung had offered the clothes purely out of wanting to make sure you’re comfortable. Sleeping in jeans is pretty awful and he didn’t see you bring a suitcase or anything. Maybe he also wanted to give you his clothes but that’s irrelevant.
He watches as you skip off to the bathroom to change with a newfound pep to your step. Jisung shakes his head, grinning despite himself. You’re just so damn cute.
This storm might just be the best thing that’s happened to Jisung in a while. Getting to spend time with you? And on Christmas Eve no less. If you’d have told him that yesterday, he wouldn't have believed it one bit. It’s like all his prayers have been answered.
He finds himself wondering, what were your plans before you called him for help? Are you upset that you’re here, at his place, instead of wherever you were heading to? Jisung hopes not. As much as he’s happy you’re here to keep him company, he can’t help but worry about how you’re feeling about the situation.
As if on cue, you appear once again at the entrance to the hallway. This time though, you’re all cozyed up in his clothes.
Jisung’s eyes widen as he takes in the sight of you. The sweats nearly swallow your feet whole, and his hoodie— which is oversized in the first place—fits almost comically large on your frame; hanging off of one shoulder.
It’s not the exposed shoulder that gets him necessarily, this isn’t the 19th century, it’s the fact that you’re in his clothes and in his house.
He swallows.
“You look- you, uh, yeah. You look good. Warm?”
Jisung’s reaction tells you all you need to know. You laugh in response.
“Mhm! Add this to the list of things I definitely owe you for,”
“Pshh, nah don’t even worry about it, i’m happy to help,” Jisung figures that if he doesn’t look at you too hard, he’ll be able to keep his brain from short-circuiting. “Do you want to watch a movie or something?” Sparing a careful glance back up at you, he pats the couch to back up his offer.
The couch dips as you plop down next to him, sporting that smile of yours that has him weak. You had looked so distraught just a couple of minutes ago, and just the simple act of him offering his clothes and a movie had brought your spirits right up. Cute.
Jisung rests his chin on his hand and listens as you lay out your christmas movie options, but he’s only half-paying attention. He knows that he’ll enjoy whatever movie you choose, as long as you’re there to watch it with him.
He also knows that he’s probably more than a little bit head over heels for you.
⋆⁺₊❅⋆ ⁺₊❆⋆
The smell of freshly-microwaved popcorn fills the room as you and Jisung take your respective places on the couch, the silent agreement apparently being to keep at least a foot between your bodies at all times
You settle in and get comfortable while the opening credits roll across the screen. Jisung is tossing some popcorn in his mouth, having already eaten nearly half of his bag. You get the feeling that he’s going to be asking to steal some of your popcorn sooner or later.
Even with him being a foot away, you are hyper-aware of his presence. The movie is starting, but you know there’s no way you are going to able to maintain any sort of attention span with Jisung sitting right there.
Still facing towards the screen, you sneak a quick look at him from the corner of your eye, only to find his eyes already trained on you.
The unexpected eye contact makes your heart jump to your throat, and you quickly jerk your gaze back to the television.
Why was he looking at you? Is he still looking? You consider turning again to check, but then decide against it, preferring to live in ignorance for the time being. You’re not sure you can deal with knowing he’s looking at you right now.
Not even ten minutes into the movie, a particularly loud whistle of wind rushes past the windows. The lights flicker once. And then again.
Fuck.
You barely have time to turn and look at a now wide-eyed Jisung before both of you are plunged into absolute darkness.
A small yelp of terror escapes from Jisung, and you feel his weight shift on the couch.
Blinking rapidly as though that would make the lights magically turn back on, you find yourself scooting towards Jisung. A heartbeat of silence passes, with only the sound of your and Jisung’s soft breaths cutting through the darkness.
“The power’s out,” He observes helpfully, voice noticably higher than it’s normal tenor.
“No shit.” You pull out your phone to turn on the flashlight, illuminating your faces. Jisung squeezes his eyes shut at the sudden intrusion of light, peeking one eye open at you after a moment.
The light reveals that he is a lot closer than you had thought. Barely an inch of space was left between your legs, and you swear you can feel warmth radiating off of him. Huh. That little mole on his face is visible from here.
Jisung swallows hard (apparently a habit of his) and quickly combs a hand through his hair, pulling himself up from the couch.
“Hold on, I think I have a candle somewhere,” He still looks a bit frazzled, but heads towards the kitchen nonetheless.
You turn and cross your arms over the back of the couch, illuminating his path.
“You do, it’s on the counter,” You point at it, having noticed it earlier when you’d first arrived. “‘Spiced apple toddy’, huh?”
You grin at the offended look on Jisung’s face as he approaches, candle and lighter in hand.
“Hey! They’re seasonal,” he objects to your teasing, placing the candle on the coffee table.
T he lighter sparks into a flame as Jisung drops back down on the couch and lights the candle, bathing your surroundings in a soft, warm light.
Well. So much for the Christmas movie.
“That sucks, I really wanted to see what was going to happen to Frosty this year,” Jisung mirrors your thoughts with a sigh, crossing one ankle over his leg and shaking his head with a tsk.
You giggle, giving him a light shove on the shoulder. In the back of your mind, you feel like you should be upset about yet another thing going wrong tonight. But how could something be wrong, really, when Jisung is smiling like that. Smiling like that because of you. The thought ignites little butterflies in your stomach.
The power doesn't seem to have any plans to turn on again anytime soon, so you and Jisung break out a deck of cards. Turns out he’s a big trash talker when it comes to competition, which has you laughing your head off at the creative insults he throws at you. Seriously, how does he come up with these?
After losing your third game of speed, you realize that goosebumps have began to form all up and down your arms. Not wanting Jisung to notice, you try to smooth them down as nonchalantly as possible.
Of course, he immediately notices.
“Are you cold?” He furrows his eyebrows in concern, drawing his attention away from his hand of cards to you.
“Nope!” A shiver decides that it’s the right moment to shake your whole body. “Okay maybe a little,” you admit, “but I’m totally fine, it’s not bad at all.”
In all honesty, that was a complete lie. It’s cold as shit. You just hope your smile is enough to distract from your clenched teeth and slightly runny nose.
Jisung raises an eyebrow at you skeptically, obviously not buying it.
“So I guess if I got a blanket, you wouldn't want it, right?”
“Hey, thats not-” you start to protest to him poking fun at you, but your confidence shrivels when Jisung places his cards on the table, batting his eyes at you in mock attention.
It’s flustering, to say the least. He directly offered you the solution to your discomfort, and didn’t really leave you with the choice to say no. Which, you decide, is kinda hot. That seems to describe most of what Jisung does, though.
You drop your hands down on the table in defeat. “Fine. Can I please have a blanket?”
As a response to your request, Jisung simply hoists himself up once more, tapping you twice on the top of the head as he passes.
“Attagirl.”
The sideways grin he flashes you tells you that he knows exactly the effect that that little word had on your insides.
He’s going to be the death of you.
⋆⁺₊❅⋆ ⁺₊❆⋆
You had just barely managed to compose yourself when Jisung returns with not one, not two, but an entire armful of blankets. In favor of just dropping them all on the couch, he decides to launch both himself and the blankets onto the couch simultaniously. His legs fly up behind him as he lands belly-down onto the pile of blankets, face buried in the soft fabric.
Whether he’s trying to draw out a laugh or not, you bark out a laugh that’s probably louder than the situation called for. You slap a hand over your mouth in embarrassment as he lifts himself up to sit on the empty cushion of the couch.
It’s intresting, the way he moves. Every motion so natural, every curve so perfect, it traps your attention to him like a moth to a flame. His muscles are lean, tensing when he pushes himself up. You follow the lightest trace of a vein trailing down from his bicep to his hand, absentmindedly wondering how his hand would feel in yours. Wondering if he would ever so lightly run his fingers over the back of your hand, your collarbone, your jaw…
“So do you want a blanket or what?” Jisung waves his hand, snapping you out of your head. You hope he hadn’t noticed the way you were essentially ogling him just now. He most likely had though, given how annoyingly observant he’s proven to be.
The corners of Jisung’s mouth quirk up, a witheld laugh brimming behind his eyes. Okay scratch that, he definitely noticed.
Too humiliated to say anything, you take a seat next to him and toss a blanket over your head. The outside noises dim significantly from under the shelter of the blanket. The blanket that— unfortunately for you and your creative imagination— smells quite strongly of Jisung. You find yourself having to refrain from burying your face in the cloth. Because that would be weird.
It’s warm at least. Staying here forever sounds like a good plan.
A wave of fresh, cool air washes over you as the edge of the blanket lifts up to reveal Jisung peeking in at you.
“May I join you?”
You nod, hoping the darkness will conceal your flushed face. Jisung scootches to sit next to you and flicks the blanket back over both of your forms. Darkness encases you once more, only this time you aren’t alone.
Jisung’s phone light shines out, lighting up your faces in such a way that makes you think he might break into some cheesy horror story; the kind that you were genuinely terrified of in second grade.
He’s close. Like, really close. You could count his eyelashes if you wanted.
His eyes crinkle slightly as he gives you a little close-mouthed smile. He looks so lovely right now, you can’t help but smile right back at him. Except your smile definitely isn't lovely since you’re cheesing so hard.
When he chuckles, a breath of warm air puffs over your face, making you warmer than you think you’ve ever been.
Despite being a good bodily temprature already, the urge to wrap your arms around Jisung and bask in his physical presence is getting stronger by the second.
“I’m still cold.” The words tumble from your mouth before you can stop them, such a blatant untruth that it makes your heart speed up.
Jisung’s head drops, shoulders bouncing slightly with silent laughter.
As if your ears couldn't get any hotter than they were already.
“Still cold, huh? You know what’s crazy?” He leans in just a touch further as if about to tell you some great secret, his voice quieting almost to a whisper. “Me too.”
Jisung arm wraps around your shoulders, and he turns you sideways, pulling you flush to him. How you seem to fit perfectly in the curve of his side, you’ll never know. Resting your head down on his shoulder and tentatively reaching a hand up to curl on his chest, you let out a breath you didn't even know you were holding. His heartbeat pounds in your ear, slower than your own jumping pulse, but much louder.
Wrapped in Jisung’s arms, you are definitely warmer than before. Which—since you really weren’t cold in the first place— has you sweating, the space under the blanket suddenly feeling small and suffocating.
You toss the top of the blanket off of your heads, inhaling the cold, crisp air now available to your lungs.
You’re not sure what comes over you. maybe it was the way that he tilts his head back to lean on the back of the couch, or maybe it was the little sigh he lets out, his breath just barely visible in the chilled air surrounding you. The hand that’s gently rubbing up and down your upper arm definitely isn't helping either.
You reach up and plant a chaste kiss to his cheek.
Jisung instantly tenses under you, every muscle tightening. You pull back to look at him, finding him frozen, staring straight ahead. a gorgeous pink tint graces his cheeks.
Always so confident until he’s the one being flirted with. Cute.
He’s silent and still for just a hint too long, and you start to get worried. Did you read the energy wrong? Was he just being nice?
You open your mouth to blurt out some sort of apology, but Jisung turns his head to look at you, eyes wide, searching your own. Your mouth snaps shut.
“Can you do that again?” His request is quiet and mumbled, nervousness evident in the way his knee starts to bounce up and down rapidly.
You reach up to grab his chin, his skin soft beneath your fingers. He’s real. He’s here and under your fingertips, gazing at you like you hung the moon.
You lean in, but pause to hover just millimeters away from his lips, your breaths mingling in the space between.
It’s not until Jisung makes a noise in his throat that is somewhere between a huff and a whine that you close the final distance between you two.
A white-hot flame ignites in your stomach when your mouths connect, only blazing brighter when Jisung runs his hand up the length of your back to rest it on the back of your head, holding you softly but firmly to him.
He wants you, everything about you. And you want him too, you always have.
When you part, you let out a breathless giggle. What just happened?
It seems as though Jisung is feeling the same way, a look of disbelief of his face as his eyes flick between your own.
“Thank you.” The two words that you’ve been skirting around all night finally slip past your lips.
“For what, the kiss? Anytime, babe.” He sends you an over-exaggerated wink, which of course doesn’t go unnoticed by you, but it is drowned out by the slightly more pressing fact that he just called you ‘babe’.
Not that you mind. At all, actually.
“First of all, I’m the one who gave you the kiss, thank you very much, and secondly I just- well, it just means, y’know, a lot to me that you picked me up… and stuff…” You wince as your confidence audibly dwindles, looking at the couch beside him, “So yeah, thank you. So much. I don’t know what I would have done without you tonight.”
“Hey, hey,” He brings your chin back up to look at him. “Seriously, it was no trouble at all. To be honest, I was so not looking forward to being alone on Christmas eve.” His gaze lightens, “So really, I should be thanking you because this is probably the best thing that could have happened to me.”
His genuine words paired with that soft look on his face make you realize that you wouldn’t rather be anywhere else or with anyone else tonight.
For the nth time tonight, you smile.
#writing#fanfic#skz fanfic#stray kids#jisung#cute#oneshot#han jisung x reader#jisung x you#han#han jisung#han jisung ff#han jisung fanfic#han jisung x you#fluff#han fluff#jisung fluff#angst#christmas#stray kids fanfic#hallofskz
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All I Want For Solstice, (Is You)
Summary: What could possibly be better than celebrating Winter Solstice with your family?
Pairing: Azriel x Fem!Reader
Warnings: Shit ton of fluff, sappy feelings, pregnancy
Word count: 1.5k
A/N: I hope this pieces was alright, I’d thought it be finished a lot earlier this December since I started writing it in November. But my cat unexpectedly became sick and had to be put down so I’ve been taking time to mourn his passing as well as getting back the energy to write again. Anyways, I hope you all will have a wonderful Winter Holiday however you’re celebrating!
—
“We’re going to be late!” You hurried down the stairs as fast as you could in your, although low but still, heels. Scanning eyes searched for your handbag while simultaneously putting on the earrings that Azriel gifted you for your last birthday.
Azriel came out from the kitchen, a gift bag with the presents for your friends in hand. “Maybe a little. The others can survive our absence for a few minutes. Remember last Winter Solstice? Cassian and Nesta didn’t arrive until more than half an hour after everyone else.”
You huffed a breathless chuckle, grabbing for one of the warmer formal coats on the clothing rack in the hallway. “Yeah, and they’ll never hear the end of it. I’d rather not have a repeat of last year.”
Azriel, who was already dressed and ready to go outside, took a gentle hold of your upper arms. You halted to a stop at the sudden touch. “[Name], slow down, take a deep breath. You know that stress isn’t good for you.”
Breathing in deep through your nose and slowly releasing it through your mouth, you could feel the tightness in your shoulders loosen. Azriel smiled, gently squeezing his hands around your flesh. “Good, that’s better.”
Nodding, you slumped your head forward, resting your temple against your bondmate’s firm shoulder. “Sorry.”
Warm hands cupped your cheeks softly, tilting your head up so that he could look at you. Azriel’s hazel eyes held that warm and tender look that he only reserved for you, for the love of his life.
“Sweetheart, you never have to apologize for that. I just want you to be healthy and happy, the both of you.”
His hands instinctively left your cheeks to wander down your dress, settling over your swollen stomach, one lone shadow joining their master’s hands. You were well into the third and last trimester, and with just a few more weeks worth of time, the growing baby within you was to be born.
With it being your and Azriel’s first child, every single aspect of the pregnancy was completely new, both beautiful beyond words, and downright scary at times. While the both of you were ready and eager to welcome a little boy or girl, it is frightening thinking that someone so small and precious was to be brought into the world.
You sighed, leaning into the familiar and comforting touch. Azriel was always touching your belly ever since the news of a little life growing inside you were revealed, you're almost surprised they hadn’t left marks on your skin yet. His shadows were not much better, if Azriel couldn’t be near you for any reason, several of them would remain beside you to watch over and protect.
”We’re both okay, how could we not be when we have such a doting male taking care of us?” As if in agreement with your words, a foot kicked your stomach, right under one of Azriel’s palm. A smile grew on your lips, and Azriel downright beamed at the feel. You cooed, gazing lovingly at your round stomach, ”Yeah, isn’t that right, little one?”
Another kick, this time firmer and the small laugh that escaped from Azriel sounded a little choked. He leaned down, pressing a long kiss against where his hands had been seconds before. With his lips still pressed against you, Azriel whispered words that you had a hard time hearing. But the way he spoke them, the affection dripping from his voice, you knew they were made of love.
After a few more moments, Azriel seemed to be able to tear himself away from your belly, the shadow retreating to their master. Once back up on his feet, he leaned down to press a slow kiss on your lips. You couldn’t help but melt against your bandmate, arms wrapping themself around his neck to keep him close. The need after breath was what finally made you have to pull back from those alluring lips.
”Are you ready to leave?” Azriel mumbled, aiding your limbs in to your coat and buttoned it up. He pressed a kiss against your temple, a strong forearm sneaking behind and round your waist. At your smile and nod, the two of you opened the door and stepped out into the snow.
The Townhouse was bustling with activity when Azriel and you arrived. Loud talking, laughter and the clinking of silverware in the kitchen greeted your ears immediately after the door closed behind the two of you. Shrugging off the small amount of snow that had collected on your coat and in your hair, Azriel helped you out of the coat as well as his own.
With his arm wrapped around your waist, Azriel and you stepped further into the warm house and into the kitchen. Feyre, who was leaning against the counter beside Rhysand, noticed your arrival first. She threw herself over to you, giving you a hug. “Azriel, [Name]! Welcome, the food’s almost ready!”
“We’re not late, are we?” You asked upon being released, immediately being enveloped in a hug by Rhys, then Cassian, followed by Nesta, Mor, and lastly Elain. Amren had unfortunately been busy elsewhere and unable to join your family for celebration.
“No, no, you’re fine. Cassian and Nesta just arrived minutes earlier.” Rhysand reassured you, pulling away from hugging his fellow Illyrian brother. Azriel gave you a pointed, but tender look, as if saying ‘told you so’. You rolled your eyes at him, a somewhat sheepish smile tugging on your lips.
Azriel huffed, pressing his lips against your temple. His arm creeped back around your side, his hand resting against your stomach as he so usually did the last couple months. You leaned back against his steady form with a content smile.
Cassian, having seen the whole scene, let out a snort and smirked at Azriel. “You’re so wiped, Az.”
Your mate’s eyes that had been locked on you hardened a bit in warning, directing his gaze at Cassian. Feyre and Azriel stifled a giggle when Nesta’s hand made contact with the back of her mate's head, a tsked ‘idiot’ escaping her mouth.
The smirk remained, but his eyes gave away to gentleness. ”On a serious note, we’re so happy for you two. How are you and the baby doing [Name]? Not long left till your little one is here.”
You smiled, your own hand settling on top of your husband’s on your stomach. “We’re doing great Cass. Just a couple more weeks before you get to meet your niece or nephew.”
“From what I’ve gathered, Azriel seems certain that it’s a girl.” Rhysand said, sharing a look with you. That was indeed true, whenever Azriel would speak with you about your unborn child, he would always call them a girl. Whether it was about the nursery or baby clothes or what color their eyes would have, the Shadowsinger thought you two would have a daughter.
You knew your mate would be ecstatic no matter if the baby would turn out to be a boy or girl, but it did secretly warm your heart imagining Azriel with a daughter. But you would have to wait for the birth to find out if your mate was right or not.
“I guess we’ll just have to wait to find out.” You said wistfully. Azriel hummed, a loving smile on his face. He leaned down, pressing a brief kiss on your lips, whispering low for only you to hear. “I can’t wait to meet her, or him.”
Feyre smiled at your comment, gazing at her own mate before looking at the stove. “Yes, indeed we will. Anyways, the food should be ready. Let’s eat!”
The following hour was spent at the dining table, surrounded by your closest friends and family eating a delicious meal and delightful drinks. Cheeks almost sore from smiling and belly full and content, everybody eventually migrated to the living room to land on the couches and armchairs.
After the gifts were given, received and opened, Azriel sat on an armchair that was appropriately sized for Illyrian wings with you sitting with your back pressed against his chest. The sun had already gone down and the snow fell heavy outside, the energy from the day had been all but spent. In your wonderful mate’s arms, you couldn’t help but to be dowsing.
“Did you have fun today, sweetheart?” Azriel asked low, just for you to hear. You nodded, tipping your head back to look at him, a slow and sleepy smile spreading across your face. “This was the best Solstice I’ve ever celebrated.”
A warm and tender hand caressed your flushed cheek. His other hand rested on your belly, thumb swiping back and forth against the stretched skin. A couple of his shadows flowed across the skin that was not covered by his hand, curious and delighted by their soon to be new friend.
The baby within was peacefully sleeping after having kicked the whole time that the gifts had been opened. “I’m glad that you feel the same. I take it that we should be heading home soon?”
You hummed, leaning back further in Azriel’s warm embrace, face nuzzling deeper into his shoulder blade. “Not just yet. Stay like this for a little while longer, your comfortable.”
Azriel chuckled but tightened his arms around you, leaning his cheek against the top of your head. “Whatever my mate wants, she gets.”
#azriel x reader#azriel x you#azriel fanfic#azriel fluff#acotar#acotar x reader#azriel x female!reader#acotar bat boys#bat boys#writingstreetspirit
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2024 writing round up!
thank you for the tags @kiwiana-writes @cha-melodius @alasse9 :) <3
i posted 19 fics this year (whoa) ranging from 932 words to 54,284 words. wild! all were for RWRB! yay firstprince! :)
JANUARY
too scared to post shit after writing worm fic in december
FEBRUARY
An Amateur's Guide to Piping That Cream and Beating That Meat (T, 5k) henry needs to make something for alex's friendsgiving and comes across a thirst trapping headless food tiktoker. i wonder who it could be. deranged tiktok comments, friends to lovers
people ruin people, i don't wanna ruin you (M, WIP, 6.8k, 4/9 chapters) - this was posted anonymously until august) alex is a washed up singer, henry is his new pet project. and maybe something more. musician firstprince, v loose a star is born x greek mythology au, icarus!alex, collaborators to lovers
MARCH
each time we touch / i wanna take too much (M, 1.3k) alex puts his fingers in henry's mouth. mhm yep that's it.
keep me up all night / i wanna scratch your surface (M, 1.4k) alex is so in love he could die. puts his mouth on other places. prose-y loverboy alex.
cause you're classic, and i'm reckless (T, 5.4k) alex and henry are costars, henry offers to help alex with intimacy research. actor au, kissing for practice leads to kissing for real, inspired by ryan gosling and rachel mcadams at the 2005 mtv movie awards, costars to lovers
who truly stuck the knife in first (M, 3.7k) alex and henry are spy partners. a mission goes sideways and they fight and fuck about it. sexually charged wrestling, partners to lovers
APRIL
and all i can taste is this moment, and all i can breathe is your life (T, 9999 words) angel!henry watches over lawyer!alex invisibly until one day alex sees him. now what? loose city of angels au, pining yearning longing galore, wee bit of angst with a happy ending, introspection
MAY
who would've thought that a guy like henry would double as a superstar? (T, 6.4k) hannah montana au, crack treated seriously, henry is hannah montana and alex works at a ranch. a hot damn mess.
JUNE
busy writing and posting proposal au! :)
JULY
the full spectrum of human emotion (M, 54k) editor!henry gets assistant!alex to marry him to avoid deportation. but wait! alex hates henry! oops. the proposal (2009) au, marriage of convenience, fake dating, romantic comedy, banter and big feelings
AUGUST
you're the closest to heaven that i'll ever be (T, 7.7k) angel!henry sequel, henry learning what it means to be human, very tender and full of musings on humanity and love and the little things in life
the leaves of a silver maple (assorted, 13k) collection of short standalone prompt fics for my fic fest (some of my favorite fics ever exist in this collection and they're so buried jfalksjlf)
prompt one - wicked E | 2.6k | au, sims family, fluff laced with a little crack. as a treat. henry finds something rather...wicked on alex's laptop. prompt two - sweaters T | 1k | canon-verse, fluffy, sweet, sharing clothes alex steals henry's sweater, and henry gets back at him. prompt three - magic T | 5.2k | kiki's delivery service (studio ghibli, 1989) au, magic au, high school au, warlock!henry, baker!alex, sweet, tender, emotional, found family a tender little exploration of love, purpose, healing, and a warlock!henry finding baker!alex. prompt four - comfort T | 2.6k | roommate au, sickfic, hurt/comfort, taking care of each other, mutual pining, fluff, domesticity, pride & prejudice (2005) refs, first kiss, getting together three times henry took care of alex and one time alex took care of henry. prompt five - wicked once more M | 500 words | au, sims family, cracky fluff, accidental sims mpreg alex is being a menace once again in The Sims. prompt six - apron M | 200 words | au, silly, apron shenanigans henry is wearing an apron. and nothing else. prompt seven - goodbye T | 200 words | the good place au, bittersweet alex and henry say goodbye. prompt eight - father T | 300 words | post-canon, a tinge of grief, hope henry reflects on grief.
SEPTEMBER
i like the way you blush / i like the way you bite (M, 932) henry puts his fingers in alex's mouth
OCTOBER
flip the switch and let the cauldron bubble (T, 2.7k) kiki's delivery service au sequel, warlock!henry and baker!alex and the many potions that heal them
about to bust-elo (M, 2k) alex tries Café Bustelo Instant Espresso and has a hell of a day. inspired by my fuckass coffee habits.
feeling your heart beating, wondering what you're dreaming (M, 5.7k) five times childhood best friends alex and henry share a bed platonically, and the one time (of many) they do as something more, childhood friends to lovers, one bed, pining, fluffy and tender
from all the pain our brain has made, the game is not played alone (G, 1.4k) alex has a long day and a terrible headache, and henry comforts him
NOVEMBER
brain break
DECEMBER
london's so nice, back in your seamless rhymes (T, 7.4k) alex and henry fall in love—five days a week, four bus routes, three pseudo-dates, two holiday markets, and one red scarf of fate later. strangers to friends to lovers, meet-cute, london buses, fluffy and fun
if the city never sleeps, then that makes three (T, 1.4k) london bus meet-cute universe part 2. alex and henry have a movie night and learn some things about each other and the people they thirst over
i looked into your eyes, got such a great surprise (M, 1.6k) london bus meet-cute universe part 3. alex and henry go on a walk and do some reflecting on love and happiness. fluffy and funny and sweet.
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and that's a wrap! what a year! so grateful for everyone who read and commented and subscribed and engaged...it means so much to me. i have really leaned on this community while navigating rough waters, and deeply love all the friends and connections i have made. sending everyone a lot of love!
xoxo roop
open tag and a few under the cut :)
@ninzied @myheartalivewrites @rmd-writes @tintagel-or-cockleshells @clottedcreamfudge
@anchoredarchangel @dumbpeachjuice @smc-27 @cricketnationrise @everwitch-magiks
@orchidscript @cheesecurdsgravyandfries @run-for-chamo-miles @onward--upward @eusuntgratie
@bigassbowlingballhead @leaves-of-laurelin @porcelainmortal @getmehighonmagic @blueeyedgrlwrites
@suseagull5914 @judasofsuburbia @seths-rogens @caterpills @violetbaudelaire-quagmire
@onthewaytosomewhere @indestructibleheart @sophie1973 @fairflowered @incalamity
@smugvillanelle @anincompletelist @wordsofhoneydew @itsmaybitheway @whimsymanaged
@miss-minnelli @zwiazdziarka @sherryvalli @msmarvelouswinchester @thesleepyskipper
@thedramasummer @priincebutt @14carrotghoul @kj-bee @welcometololaland
@miharaikko @hgejfmw-hgejhsf
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cause everyone knows i got a broken heart
authors note: last but not least, folio’s has been completed ! i always enjoy writing him, so if you all ever have requests for our folio here, please send them to me lol inspired by the song taken :)
jolly’s, noah’s, and nicholas’
pairing: nick folio x reader
word count: 961
cw/tw: reader is heartbroken, big unsaid feelings, folio is a sweetie, noah just wants his friends to be happy, jolly is a sore loser, fluff, open but hopeful ending, 18+ minors do not interact
"You look happier."
Noah's voice breaks you from your spell, blinking away from Nick to look at your friend.
"Hm?"
"I said you look happier." He gives you a small smile, the real one he only reserves for his friends, and leans in closer. "It's nice, I missed the happy you."
"Thanks. I did, too." You mumble out, face burning.
The last year had been hard and there were times when you didn't think you could come out of it, wholeheartedly believing you'd die of a broken heart. But those bad days slowly turned into kinda bad days, and those days slowly turned into alright days. You're not where you want to be, but the broken pieces of you that were left behind slowly started to be pieced back together, one by one.
You glance over at Nick again who caught your gaze, face softening as he sends you a wave. You send one back before looking at Noah again, that small smile now turning into a knowing grin.
"Don't even start." You point a finger towards him, eyes narrowing into a playful glare.
"I'm not starting anything." He holds his hands up in defense before looking between you and his bandmate across the room, leaning in closer. "He really likes you, you know?"
Your face burns again. "I know."
It felt weird admitting that. You know how Nick felt about you, and how you slowly started to feel about him. It was all weird to realize when you were still healing from your broken heart.
"Are you gonna give him a chance?"
"I don't know." You say honestly and the look Noah gives you lets you know he understands. "It's complicated."
"Yeah, I'm sure it is." He stuffs his hands in the pockets of his pants, shoulder bumping into yours. "But... I'm also sure he's a good guy. Would do anything for you. It wouldn't be so bad to give him a chance, right?"
You eye Noah for a second, brow raising. The boy doesn't say anything, just gives you that same knowing grin.
"I'm starting to think he paid you to say that."
"I can't confirm nor deny that." Noah shrugs before bumping his shoulder into yours again as you both laughed. "But, seriously. He's good for you. I think you know that."
You do. The second Nick came into your life your world was turned up again after being turned down for so long. He was like a light in the darkness, guiding you through all the bad shit to get you to the good shit. You haven't been this happy in months, and yet...
"I don't know." You mumble, eyes back on Nick who was focused on his game of pool with Jolly. "There's just a lot that goes into it, you know? I'm still scared. I don't think he'd hurt me intentionally, but knowing that he could is what's stopping me, I think."
"Your therapist tell you that?"
You snort. "Maybe... but she's right. I think my mind is still in flight or fight when it comes to things like that. I don't know if I'm ready, but... he makes me want to give it another shot."
"Yeah?"
You can hear the smile in his voice, though your eyes are still on Nick. "Yeah."
It's silent between you two after that, leaned against the wall beside each other as you watch the game between Nick and Jolly unfold. The older out of the two swears when Nick wins, the second time tonight, and you can't stop the smile stretching across your lips when he sends you a wink. Jolly reaches into his pocket to pull out a wad of cash, practically throwing it at Nick.
"Not fair! You always do better when she's here." Jolly grumbles out, pointing an accusing finger your way.
You hold your hands up. "I'm literally just standing here."
"Yeah, but you're like his good luck charm. He always plays better when you're here. It's weird." Jolly huffs out, but you can still make out the playful tone in his voice.
"You're just jealous you don't have a pretty good-luck charm." Nick teases as he makes his way over to you and Noah.
Your cheeks burn from his words and you don't dare look at Noah. You can see that shit eating grin in your head perfectly.
"Did you hear that? He thinks you're pretty." Noah dramatically whispers to you, groaning when you elbow his side not so gently.
"Shut up." You whisper back, plastering a smile on your face when Nick gets closer. "How much you get out of him this time, winner?"
"I think just enough to buy you and I a drink." He says while counting his winnings, whistling to himself once he finished. "Actually, I can buy us two drinks."
"Wow, two drinks? A man after my own heart." You joke, but the smile on Nick's face lets you know it's anything but.
"I sure am. Tell me, is it working yet?"
You don't stop yourself from smiling. "Maybe it is."
"I'll take it." Nick hums before holding his hand out, waiting for you to take it. "C'mon, let's go get a drink."
You take it without much thought, letting your fingers lace with his as he guides you towards the bar. You can feel Noah's eyes on you, and you can still see that shit eating grin in your mind, but you don't care about that. You don't care that maybe he's right. No, all you care about is the way Nick's staring at you, like you hold the sun and the fucking moon in the palm of your hands. It makes you feel like giving him that chance wouldn't be the worst thing in the world.
#bad omens fanfiction#bad omens fanfic#bad omens fic#nick folio fic#nick folio fanfiction#nick folio fanfic#mine
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not sure if people have already posted about this but i think it's important to share. i know they've posted follow-ups on tiktok (and maybe ig), including the statement that it is OFFICIALLY happening CHRISTMAS EVE AND CHRISTMAS DAY. DECEMBER 24 AND 25. there's also an official list that includes, but isn't limited to, spotify, tiktok, ig, ANY meta products, hulu, netflix, and the like. genuinely this is SOSOSO important
[ID: a tiktok from @/skyfisherforskyfish.
audio begins:
"i've moved on from feeling spiteful. im officially feeling... diabolical. the next big thing we can do to harm big business- after you've cancelled your amazon subscription, after you've cancelled your audible, after you've moved your money out of big banks and into local credit union, after you've figured out a way to buy local- the next big thing, ladies and gentlemen, is the data strike of Christmas 2024. why would a data strike be effective? because data is the most valuable asset on earth, right after human suffering from denying people who need healthcare, healthcare. that is actually the reason behind the tiktok ban. it's not about national security, it's about the data war that's happening between the united states and china. Christmas is a very pivotal moment, because all of the gifts are purchased, and now companies get to observe what you do with the money and gifts you've been given. your data is critically important right now for training their models and training their campaigns going forward on how consumer behavior is influenced by the holidays. that's not the only thing. following the shooting of the united healthcare ceo, the surveillance state has absolutely exploded in popularity- as you can see, many cities particularly los angeles (where i live) expanding their budgets for next year to use video surveillance on its populations. it's horrifying! it's dystopian! it's entirely preventable. the data strike is one to two days where we simply get off social media. you do not give them a second of your time for advertising dollars, for data mining, for any of it. this would not only kneecap the marketing budgets of big businesses, which have already been spent, they've already been expended, you will only ruin their r.o.i.. you will also prevent them from furthering the expansion of the surveillance state. you could directly say fuck you to zuckerberg and musk easily, with no pain. further, it's a great opportunity because during the holidays, we're pretty busy anyways, and you're there with family. and i know you're like 'oh, i don't want to hang out with my family, i just want to tap out!' challenge yourself. even if you're not having a good time, just have a time, rather than being completely numbed out by your screen, don't you think? one day won't kill you. two days would be a superhuman feat and i would be so impressed, i'd be so proud of you. you could also save on carbon emissions, because it requires a lot of energy to run this app (tiktok) and all of its servers, and every other social media. i have already seen such an enormous amount of collective action taken- people cancelling their amazon subscriptions, people taking their money out of big banks, going to local credit unions, decentralizing their purchases, starting small, local community gardens, going back to their libraries- people are taking action, and just because you don't see it online does not mean it's not happening. in fact, i want you to be absolutely aware that the reason you're not seeing it online is because it is happening. together, we can do the data strike of Christmas 2024. please share this video, please encourage your friends and family to take this shit seriously because the effect and the impact we could have on the market, on the surveillance state, and on the environment is legitimately enormous, and i believe in us. thank you for watching, i know this video is long, i know you've got shit to do. have fun scrolling. talk to later, bye."
/end ID]
#uhc ceo#uhc shooter#luigi mangione#christmas#christmas ideas#christmas shopping#social media#instagram#tiktok#tiktok video#sorry for the spam tags this is really important and i need to get as many people as possible to see it#elon musk#mark zuckerberg#facebook#netflix#hulu#spotify#arg ok i think that's good for now
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some people will be all about mental health awareness and leftist ideals of at least tolerating the mentally ill who show ''ugly'' symptoms until it's someone they know and ''care'' about having a bad day and acting like it in a way they don't find appealing
#[temporary text post tag]#vagueing about irls#everybodys your friend until one time youre too tired to act right after getting yelled at first thing in the morning#worst thing is i trusted her enough to tell her shit none of my other friends know about#liek i genuinely believed we were friends and i wasnt just an accessory so she wouldnt feel lonely and could vent to someone about whatever#now im really wondering if all the shit she told me about other people was real or if she just ditched them as well after they-#- acted emotionally in a way she didnt like#like im sorry people have bad days and sometimes act in none cutesy ways#at this point idk if the few times i did tell her im feelin like shit she took it seriously or just thought i was joking#im kinda assuming the second one#like she did feel and act fairly progressive - she'd often talk about acceptance and understanding#i don't even think she sees this situation as dropping a 'freind'#she's prolly gonna find a way to justify it somehow idk#point is im hurt and need a drink#she even vaguely texted me like 'if someone you knew hurt someone you care about would you try to fix it with them or just block them?'#like not even confront me and say 'you hurt someone i care about so now im ending things'#or just tell me to fuck off or call me a piece of shit#i feel after a year and all of the 'youre a good friend' shit that maybe i was at least entitled to a 'fuck off kys' text and then a block#i shouldve dropped her first - save us both some time#honestly i dont even think she thinks about this at all#im probably just sulking like a kicked dog while she does whatever the fuck it is she does#she probably didnt even care about my side of the story#why would she#honestly she always did most of the talking#i was just there to listen and sometimes make a joke for her to laugh at i guess#like i didnt know i was signing up for a '1 strike and youre out' type deal lmao
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i like overthink everything now it makes me feel so dumb. i used 2 be able to just talk 2 ppl but nowadays every single thing im like Is that actually going to make them hate me. Yes probably. and then i just dont respond which makes ppl hate me. this is how it is
#ive been overthinking 1 light and casual mildly funny response to something but im worried itll come off as disrespectful and dismissive And#make me seem stupid and uncaring all at the same time. and also be seen as insulting. but like idt itd be insulting right like. im not#saying what it is so ig for all you guys know im like I mean if i say All your shit suck ball and i hateit kys. <- thats not the thing i was#going to say#like it doesnt matter now the window for response is closed now but i feel stupid bc i shouldve just said it it was light and casual. im so#bad at keeping convos gojng im convinced im not going to survive. In like a light and casual way like in a He will not make it through the#winter joke way. dw. im not going to do anything bc i had One failed interaction. if i was going to do anythjng itd be bc of the 8000000#other failed interactions. But im not. anyways. it just makes me feel so useless 😭 like i want to respond i want to talk to ppl so bad but#i feel like i mess things up Irreparably every time i speak OR i take too LONG overthinking my response and then i just cant respond bc its#been too long and then its been 3 years and the only messages ive ever sent r my intro message and 1 message 2 years ago that nobody#responded to at all. or the conversation stopped immediately after. and like i used to be better at this i was lkke. talkative in a couple#muts servers like. i talked 2 ppl daily in those servers and i had fun and like. I was an important part of the group and i felt like it#but i just feel like such an outsider for Everything and its literally my fault bc i cant just like. Talk. The explosion. bc im always like#im gonna try im gonna do it this time im gonna get it back im going to finally be Good connor and im going to fix it all and make a Good#solid friend group and ill find HEALTHY LOVE and i wont selfsabotage and ill move out and have a job and ill balance it well and ill start#all my hobbies and ill have a great routine and be so loveable and on top of it and not stressed and content and happy and roll with the#punches and then theres a single hiccup and im like Well fuckinf whatever im going to be an unemployed hermit forever and im going to die b4#im 25 anyways so Who cares and also im digging a little hole for myself. and its like. AUGHH ik i just have to persevere and overcome but#even saying that feels so stupid its not fucking hard its Talking to ppl. like. i literally if ive ever said a word to you i had to think#avt it and strategize how to respond right even for like. like. it makes it sound like its not genuine it is#like for example i want to say hey i love your art! but then i freak out and im like thats not normal thats like a rly generic comment they#hear that all the time theyll thjnk im being polite and my brains like hrmmm rewrite Your art changed my life. It shaped me. Ill never be#the same. Nad im like ok too far overcorrected go back and the sentence generator is like Your art has colors 💯 like. GOD. WHY IS IT SO#difficult. and then usually i either just dont say anythinf and feel awful abt it 4ever OR i send it on anon and then i spend like 15#minutes ibsessively slightly tweaking the apelling and capitalization and punctuation to make sure it doesnt seem like its me just in case#it Is the worst possible thing to say but then i see the response and itll be like AWWW TYSM :] THIS MEANS A LOT or whathaveyou and i feel#stupid bc i couldve just Told them this to their face and it wouldve been a good positive interaction we had. but instead i had 2 hide and#tyoe entirely differently so they couldnt sniff me from my typing style. and it soesnt even feel like the thanks is actually 4 me bc i#tweaked the message sm. and it still makes me happy that the oersons hapoy but its like. that couldve been a nice mutual interaction#like not that i need a personal ty i compliment ppl when i Want to compliment ppl and when its genuine yk. i dont do it so i get mutualpoint
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I haven't been involved with coaching for almost 3 months now and somehow I am still getting dragged into the drama.
#personal#move back to your small hometown they said#it'll be fun they said#me chanting over and over again:#if you live here you get to see your family all the time#(this is a good thing for me i love my brother and his family)#dude honestly this whole thing is just hilarious at this point#anyway newest drama is that one of the parents thinks it's suspicious that i 'quit' the same time my best friend moved away#the shit that is being said about us right now??? fucking wild#i haven't told any of those kids why i really left because they don't need me to be gossiping about their current coach to them#that would be so unprofessional of me#i say like she wasn't spreading rumors about me to THEM directly last year#we are all in our 30s here why are we acting like fucking teenagers still#i'm about to be real petty when i go visit next week though#'oh my god you won't believe what i heard crystal is telling people at her salon'#to the coach not the kids lol#i have a sneaking suspicion that the she is involved in this gossip in an adjacent way not directly#and i want her to think about the shit she says before she says it#she's mad that i don't want to coach jv when i told her multiple times i don't want to run my own program#and that i'd be happy to help her out as an assistant coach but that having to deal with parents is my worst actual nightmare#see what's happening right now#literally the only reason i applied is because i love those kids and they were all freaking out about my friend leaving#because they thought their current coach was also going to be leaving#and i was like hey i won't leave you guys don't worry#it's her fault that she chose not to include me in any of her brainstorming for next year#if she really wanted me to be involved she would have been talking to me about it back in april#i'm literally barely pulling myself out of my grief hole about losing coaching#and i could have stayed around but i would have been miserable#because it wouldn't have been in the capacity that i really wanted#oof okay i feel a little better after venting a bit
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That is an absurd amount of admin+zepheniah dust to be following her around- I think she kneeled in the dust, catatonic, eyes unblinking, staring at what she thought her life would have been
I like that engie had a glass of water ready for her. I also like that he knows the administrator is gone, her entire scheme is over- I mean, it makes sense. He was there when the admin cracked that last vial of australium and took it all.
I think the whole death of the admin, I think this implies that the admin spent almost an hour straight in that cave of hers, talking to zepheniah. Going over her past, over his past, the way she inserted herself into his future.
I'm mildly upset that he doesn't have his gunslinger- but that's compliant to the way he was drawn in the comics previously, I suppose
Engie sitting down across from her and talking. He doesn't even ask what happened- he knows his employer is dust on the floor. Instead, he openly talks about his perspective of it. This gives me the vibe that pauling and engie are pretty close as work acquaintances, if not friends. Engie seems disapproving of the admin's endeavours, but not in the sense that he saw her as evil. Sure, he probably has his reservations with the admin's choices, but his moral grayness and choice to look past the evilness of it all, it really solidifies that he's a mercenary. He's even casually entertaining that pauling could fill the role of the admin, or create a new role to fulfill what pauling thought she would devote her life to, saying she could become whatever she wants, with the tone of voice of coworkers talking shop.
I like how dejected miss pauling looks. Hunched over, hair messy, outfit full of dust. Glass of water half drunk. She looks shell shocked, almost. I also like how engie is acting as a rock in this situation- he's grounding her, tying her down to reality. Talking her through whatever she's stuck on in her brain. Whether that's because he's intuitive enough to know to do this, and polite enough to want to do it to help her, or because he wants her to lucidly understand that he is washing his hands of involvement, I don't know.
The intensity of engie's suggestion says a lot, imo. "Make sure you get it all." His disdain that he's come to feel for australium is palpable here. Even after working with it for so many years, even after being privileged enough to fabricate things and tinker with australium to refine the admin's hand doohikey- it's like he's come to some conclusion that australium is a sentence imposed on whomever uses it, regardless of good intentions, that will always lead to bad things happening.
And there's that nickname again. Other names that start with Flo.... Flower? Florina? Flossy? Florris? Who knows. I'm inclined to believe that Flo isn't her full name, much like how she refers to the engineer as Engie, it would make sense for him to refer to her with a shortened version of her name.
I love how the glow of the australium shines in her eyes. Like a promise.
"You won't never be free of it." He's seen firsthand what this shit does to someone
Augh.... Her hair is so messy now. That second pannel, that's an expression we've never seen on her face before. She's utterly lost. But engie is there. He looks genuinely relieved that pauling took his advice to heart.
He's so jolly. I love him
Soldier did nobody ever teach you not to smear your grubby fingerprints all over pictures. Convenient as hell to block that figure in the picture that was never revealed... The only thing we can gather from this, though, is that the figure is perhaps extremely short.
Is it bad of me to say that this looks like Kim
he's SO done with this. I really like how the tattoos he got in prison are completely removed from his skin. I don't know if that's intentional or not, but it's an interesting concept if it's intentional
I don't know if being merasmus' familiar is what's causing this but I love that soldier can canonically see ghosts. That's awesome
lol his expression looks like his soul left his body
I love that we got so much more of soldier in this comic... He's so silly
Aw. For all his complaining, merasmus can't bear to look at his friend getting tortured so he looks away. Or maybe he understandibly just doesnt want to see someone getting tortured.
Awh hell yeah, creature.... perhaps of the Pilosa order... This swap to a different plot kinda confused me with its placement and the context it provided.... but ah well, I'll take it
Awww, when did bidwell learn to backtalk
love the delivery with this one. This typa humour is so good
Average australian attitude towards drinking. I wonder if she has an australian accent now... Idk. But I like her design
Wait I think that that's Uluru,,,, or Ayer's Rock, as Saxton calls it. There's no question now, Uluru is significant to Saxton's life... otherwise why would its frame be hung next to the other Hale? I'd have to look back through the other comic where scout and heavy go to the rock to investigate it to make any more inferences
dawwww
PAHAHA ... BEAR POLISH??? Reddy, you dog
Alright back to business. Big fan of Heavy's beard... could use more shaping though. I like that he uses Sasha has a bludgeon though. That's awesome
he just does not Stop YAPPING !!! Good for him tbh... The fact that only soldier can see merasmus... He looks insane to everyone else around him that's crazy
lol, I like how merasmus' ghost form also comes with a ghost version of the chair and binds he died with. There's actually only two chairs instead of three
ugh, girl, tidy that thing uppp
wjatever.... Big fan of people still calling merasmus an old woman. So true
this is the first time soldier's smile has faltered, and its right after heavy says he doesnt care that merasmus got tortured to death...
he's so wordly.... he knows currency rates off the top of his bald dome
girl that body of yours is absurd
Thread of my second read through The Days Have Worn Away
his stupid smile . I want to put him through a food processor
ok one of them came out wearing an eyepatch i think soldier got cheated on and zhanna had a kid with demo
he proposed with a grenade. and. and he pulled the pin and put the ring on zhanna's finger. and threw the grendade
tbh I fear for the person who becomes the centre of her devotion next
she is willing and ready to use her powers for evil
new sniper lore dropped too. He can fly bush planes
hes so real for this
i think these are the team classic characters... There's a plaque missing on the stone statue at the bottom, I wonder what was on it.
I like how everyone at… Administrator HQ is wearing purple
So earlier we got miss pauling's first name initial, f. Pauling.... so this is a confirmation that her name starts with F, and she's on first name basis with engie. Flo- like, Florence? Florida?
This might be a stretch but I think that these paintings on the wall, I think they're like, the BEST of the best mercernaries of their respective class. Pyro is looking at a hard to make out person surrounded by flames, and demo is looking at a high tech looking demoman
look at all these stupid idiots. i love them
she's SO done dude. SO DONE
also this whole thing. Love the detail that spy is checking his watch pompously . and how everyone else is lined up waiting for them to continue walkign
And this one... god, that smile she gives scout. The way scout beams
The art in this comic has improved so so much, its absolutely gorgeous. The way its layed out, the emotion it conveys without needing dialogue.... magnificent. I like how Miss P's undone hair shows itself as more messy. She's at her wits end- she's past the point of anxiety, past the point of tightening and adjusting her hair so that no strand sticks out.
I think this is the most creature like I've seen pyro and I'm so here for it. E's got eyebrows over the mask lol. Also medic's stupid ass tippy toeing to see over heavy
I love the placement of this context we're getting for how Helen became involved with the Manns. It immediately makes you think to the place where The Naked and The Dead ended, with Helen fully perked up on the final bits of australium she had. Yet its a look into the past
big fan of this painting. Three rifles... and these book titles. So silly i love it
New competitor for Most eyebrows, Zepheniah has two eyebrow spikes, beating medics mere one spike
A whole graveyard of Manns.... I like the one thats just a giant M. Really hammering in the notion that the Mann last name is an identity of immense value, that takes over your whole life. oh, and that panel before the final one, its so full of tension... so good
And here's the actual moment we get to see her in all her insanity. What a woman. I like that the screens all face him, constantly displaying the products of redmond's and blutarch's failure to follow the family line of succession. His eyelids constantly forcefully open, unable to speak, yet his brain still processes the information his body is percieving. He's like if Mr House (fonv) had a dominatrix
me too, scout. me too
big fan of how heavy's eyes are the only ones that are dots
her and miss pauling both, they share the Devotion, the ability to pour their entire beings and lives into one single thing
I bet that thing felt like jerky. who said that
Absolute cinema. Amazing. Magnificent. Wonderful. No notes
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okay maybe I should seriously reconsider my path in life and sell my soul to marketing or journalism instead
#okay venting in the tags you are very welcome to ignore or not respond to it i just need to yell somewhere#i always thought id be an art therapist because well i care about people and want to help them and love art#but everyday i wake up feeling like a fraud and an imposter so like. should i really be doing all that when im not entirely#certain i cpuld handle it??? like i know i haven't gotten the meaty bit of the education towards that yet but like#university costs a disgusting amount of money here and if i pick the wronf thing im likely doomed forever thanks to awful government#i know things could get better like they did after thatcher but honestly im not putting any bets on it considering how the current labour#party is so like if i fuck up here im basically dead#also can i actually do art uni. like could i cope with that. im deeply unethused with art at the moment and honestly will i evwr be#idk#it was jusr a thing i always did but education around it is fucking soul sucking#also the emotional weight of hearing and solving people's problems as a therapist. i would consider myself quite empathetic for the most#part i feel other people's pain quite strongly and obviously as a therapist id be feeling that quite a bit so could i actually cope with it?#ik therapists have therapists but still#i mean im doing work experience at an occupational therapy place so ill just be extra inquisitive about it all to make sure im going#the way i wanna#I'll be fine by the end of a levels ill probably understand what i want in life#if not then gap year to work it out#should probably look at unis for english language too then#sigh#ucas website i may as well marry you#ill be okay im getting in my head about stuff im actually pretty good at art even if there are things i can improve on (like patience lol)#yeah maybe the voice telling me i suck doesnt know shit and should shut up#yeah#shut it nasty voice you're wrong actually!!! im doing just fine and you're being overly critical#they should make a brain that's your friend and not mush that hides the amalgamation of every bad thing ever in its crevices#crevices shoyild be filled with kindness and love.#sex jokes about that#why the fuck is yahoo mail syncing i dont use you you washed up search engine#bue waffling#vent post
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btw my mom said it. she said it to me looking me in the eyes. i told her about how difficult it was for me to get through those family reunions, and she admitted it was very important to her, important enough that she was just going to do it anyway.
#i know there are compromises out there#and i'm not going to live w them my whole life so i'll be out fairly soon all things considered#and i'm trying to be understanding when people's priorities aren't the same as mine#but i uh. would be lying if i said it doesn't hurt a little wittle bit.#i'm gonna keep handling it because i've been an asshole to my parents for long enough#i largely owe them that. cooperating and spending time with them and engaging in what matters to them.#but then she's says things like ''but whenever you move out you'll still be part of the family and invited if you want uwu''#it's just ?????? okay thanks ???? perhaps you could also try seeing things from my point of view perhaps????#it's all circling back to that. they have a very weird way to ''help'' me#throwback to them trying to cure my depression with amusement parks#when i would have liked a little less of that and a little more help and understanding#it feels like they're trying to put bandaids on a cancer#''you don't ask for help'' okay no help is coming. i am not being helped.#the system can't help me cause there's no damn beds no damn professionals no damn time to help everyone#the people around me can't help me because it's not their job or within their wheelhouse to help me#and they've got their own shit to deal with#on that note#i was discussing stuff with my mom#and i mentionned it was indeed pretty difficult to manage your time when you had to deal with school and friends and your parents#and she was like ''deal with your parents???? what do you have to deal with????''#oh i don't KNOW maybe that i'm officially an associate of my dad and i have to help out w events and some accounting#or maybe i have to pay back the fucking years i spent being an ungrateful child now i do everything you expect me to and it's exhausting#maybe that you constantly remind me i am living in YOUR house by touching my shit instead of letting me deal with shit at my own pace#maybe the fact that despite everything i care about you and i want us to have a good relationship and that takes WORK and i'm exhausted#maybe the fact that you keep giving me advice that is unproductive misguided misunderstanding etc etc#and cold comfort after you did something you knew to be difficult for me#how you keep encouraging shit that i don't want and am unhappy with because it's the ''normal'' way#how you raised me from childhood to be an empty shell in a family of empty shells#broadcasting my misery#vent
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Probably going to post some vent art soon. The tags are also a bit of a vent.
#just lost 2 people I thought were my friends#like I was mad at one because she was ghosting me#but they literally went from friendly chatter and talk about meeting up to complete ghosting#after MONTHS hitting me with “I'm moving on with my life”#so I'm not really okay right now#I will be#but this has shaken me deeply#maybe don't ghost people for months if you want to leave the relationship behind#and maybe give a heads up of “hey#“I'm rethinking things right now#“not sure how much I'll talk to you in the future. Good luck with everything if we end up not talking”#rather than “yeah we should meet up in May” *July* “lmao I don't care about you that's why I ghosted you”#just a thought#maybe don't make people who were your friends and didn't screw you over feel like shit#but what do i know#I just had to miss a year for chronic pain putting me behind almost all of my friends#no big deal#right?
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(reading my own ao3) wow this bitch is so correct and on point i wish there was more . cmon guys look at this shit https://archiveofourown.org/series/2536405
#kommento#// blatantly promoing my writing . i miss my 2021 early 2022 era i wrote so good#// not to shit on myself but i kind of lost my charm on that latest one from december#// but like woww ughhhh i wish there was more <- the writer#// FIVE MINUTES LATE I LOVE YOUU yorue the fucking epitome of the ever i loveyou kissing you#// AND ANTIHISTAMES !! AND EXTRA TIP and youre lost i love all of you i lveo you all mwa mwma mwamwamwa#// kind of fell off and lost the writing style i liked on dont let it rain BUT STILL i wrote something so IM STILL WINNING !!#// when i finish my kitchen fic it's over for all of you (shes almost at 2k and shes still going)#// when i finally finish something so au specific so self indulgent IT'S ALL OVER !!!!!#// i forgot my love for serialization and seeing things come together and whole i just wonder if i'll still have the ambition after that lon#// (in the corner) wow i wish theres more content of adachi and th attendnatn being friends#// besides the /wildly gestures at whatever the hell goes on in the iznmi tags/ whatever the FUCK this is#// i have ao3 svior btw theres so much shit censored when i open up the tag after 27 years and i do Not want to know what's in there#// sometimes i wish i could start all over and feel That Rush again where everythings so good and fun and whimsy#// learning new things one after the other like it's SO EXCITING !!!! just without the horrors this time#// and that i have YOU GUYS !!! (youre standing across me from the convenience store counter while i flop at using the barcode scanner)#// i wouldnt even KNOW adachis place in fandom i'll just be like LOOK AT HINM !!! hes so fucking terrible these two should be besties#// OKAY enogh remensicneing i need to GO !! BACK TO ACTUAL WORK !!! i love you all i hope youre all healthy
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No because the last part actually saved younger me from a lot of trouble and/or embarrassing situations.
Like it's easy to pretend that your social media page is basically a diary and treat it as such. It's easy to vent about that annoying girl Brittney that goes to your school, or post a photo of your outfit as you wait outside of your school. It's easy to think that "well I'm 17. That's close enough" when adults say that no minors should be allowed to do x thing online.
But you know what's not easy?
Getting all of that back from bad people who don't tell you they're saving it.
From your online friends to literal strangers who read all of your posts and piece things together, everyone could be using this information for bad.
It is up to you to figure out what information you're willing to have used against you.
And yeah. Sometimes that means having boundaries with your online friends that you don't have irl.
There's something that I find equal parts hilarious and terrifying.
On one hand it is so funny watching the generation previous to mine (I was born in 84) absolutely say the most unhinged shit online, doxx themselves, and get fired, after spending my entire childhood teaching me online opsec because every stranger was a potential murderer. Social media done rotted their brains.
But on the other I'm seeing kids coming up, seeing them spew all their personals online, and using that to model their unsafe behavior and put themselves at incredible risk because the internet actually got way more dangerous than it was, ironically, when I was coming up being told I had to basically outsmart the fuckin CIA. Now the actual CIA and other bad actors (government, private, and individual) really are out there and these kids are watching fucking meemaw post a photo of the front of her house practically captioned with her fucking SSN and thinking, "yeah, sure, the adults know what's safe."
I gotta be a fuckin millennial about this and beg younger folx to listen to the VCR generation: hide yourself online. Nothing should go there you wouldn't want in the hands of the person who hates you the most.
Be safe, be smart, be a fucking ghost.
#i know i know#online friends are real friends#however after my later highschool years of thinking i was grown enough to be exempt from online safety#i can say with 100% certainty that I was not. and in thinking i was i put myself in more danger than I should have ever been in#so take it from me and crop out that slightly visible school logo on your shirt. or turn up your brightness and zoom in on your photos#to check if all license plates and house numbers aren't visible. put an emoji over your face. even if you're feeling cute.#make sure your dog's tags aren't showing your address when you send silly pictures. make sure there's no road signs alongside your sunsets#and be SAFE#PLEASE.#YOU ARE NOT IMMUNE TO MANIPULATION#YOU ARE NOT IMMUNE TO CATFISHING OR PEER PRESSURE#THE SOONER YOU MAKE BOUNDARIES WITH YOURSELF THE SOONER YOU WILL FIND YOURSELF NOT AS DEEP IN SHIT WHEN THINGS GO BAD#ok? ok#i love you#be good#make good choices#learn from my mistakes#please and thank you
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