roastedinmarch

[roastedinmarch]

hey folks if you have an android phone: google shadow installed a "security app".

I had to go and delete it myself this morning.

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"If you support trans man lesbians you also have to support cis man lesbians" yeah cool other people's sexual orientation labels are not my business 👍🏻

As long as he's not trolling why should we exclude a guy who genuinely feels their attraction to women is queer/sapphic/lesbian/etc? This is how a few trans girls & nonbinary folk I've met realized they were trans, they realized they were a lesbian before coming to terms with the fact they're a woman / not actually a guy. And you know what, that's literally fucking fine. Not to mention, sometimes using the 'wrong' sexuality labels for your gender can be a form of gender nonconformity. Gnc/genderqueer guy finds it validating to identify as a lesbian? Awesome. Cool as hell.

If you want to get mad at creepy cishet guys creeping on lesbians, DO THAT. I don't think any of those people genuinely believes they are a lesbian, if they're saying that, they're trolling. In general I don't think any non-queer guy is going to genuinely find comfort in labeling themselves as a lesbian. Don't attack queer folk with weird genders or people still figuring shit out when you mean to be gunning for chasers and predators.

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you gotta stop showing support for Luigi in a way that implicitly frames him as the perpetrator. you can show support for Luigi as a man and as a suspect who is innocent unless proven guilty, and you can show support for the Claims Adjuster and what they did WITHOUT saying it was luigi, cos that only hurts his case. they can both be heroes, the adjuster for the message they sent and the fear they've struck into the American oligarchy, and Luigi for being an innocent man unjustly paraded as an example of the punishment we face when we step out of line. I hope Luigi is exonerated and freed, and i hope the claims adjuster is still out there having made a clean getaway

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a perfectly average horse is unexpectedly teleported into your kitchen, precisely in the state your kitchen is at this exact moment. it is, understandably, alarmed by this situation. how equipped do you feel you are to handle this situation?

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a lot of folks on this website will specifically describe people as Cis or Neurotypical to signal someone is boring/basic when I think the word they're truly looking for in their heart is "normie" but they won't say it because it makes them sound like a 4chan user

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PSA

This is The Adjuster (Robin Hoodie, Guy That Shot the CEO, etc.):

And this is Luigi Mangione:

And yes, they are both super cool and hot as fuck but remember, they are two different people. The Adjuster has not been found and Luigi was never involved in the shooting.

Do not talk about them as if they are the same person and do not further spread the idea that Luigi is guilty.

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Say, can we talk about how trans men and transmascs are often… just plain not trusted?

No matter what we say, what we do, how we say it, what’s done to us, any of that, it’s somehow painted as malicious on our part. Just as a few examples…

For a time there was not really any well known transmasc theory floating around, and this was seen by some as an indication that trans men and transmascs just wanted trans women and transfems to do all the work for them. No one thought maybe we were just being actively erased or that they simply hadn’t been looking for it. There was a jump to the conclusion that we were simply lazy and entitled.

There are cis lesbians who would not date or have sex with trans women but would date or have sex with trans men. I have seen on multiple occasions, even in comic form, a narrative that the trans man is an active participant in this, that he is willingly misgendering himself to get into transphobic lesbians’ pants. When I talk to trans men and transmascs about this, I don’t hear that narrative at all. What I do hear is stories of transphobic cisbians sexually harassing trans men who don’t want to date them, or outright TERFs pretending to be accepting in the hopes of forcing a trans man to detransition during the relationship, or transmascs having a complicated relationship with their gender and sexuality in such a way where not only is dating a lesbian not a form of misgendering for them but they actively consider themselves a lesbian for one reason or another.

I once made a post about how it’s weird to go around announcing you’d never date a trans person when nobody asked and all that happened was a trans person existed in your presence. I was very clearly trying to convey that announcing you don’t find trans people dateable or fuckable unprompted purely because a trans person exists near you is weird and transphobic and completely unnecessary. A cis woman responded by angrily telling me I shouldn’t be trying to trick women into thinking I’m a real man, as if the reason why I transitioned was to dupe cis straight women into having sex with me.

There’s a book titled Female Masculinity that was published in 1998 by Jack Halberstam. I don’t think Jack himself uses the term transmasc to describe his gender, but his book touches on not only Butch lesbianism but basically anyone who was assigned female at birth and is masculine, which means a lot of transmascs and trans men are exactly who he’s talking about. I recently got word that someone has attempted to debunk his book because they don’t think he can be trusted to speak honestly about his own experiences and community.

Multiple notable trans men on YouTube have been listed as vectors of a social contagion by the book Irreversible Damage. Here’s Ty Turner talking about it.

Speaking of the social contagion idea, the more I look at it, the more it becomes apparent that one of the things it relies on is the idea that trans men simply existing near your cis daughters will turn them trans. For many a conservative, this would mean trans men in public are dangerous and cannot be trusted. When we say transitioning improved our lives and that we’re happy this way, they don’t believe that. They look for secret signs that we’re actually miserable, as this one transphobe did to Elliot Page, which was reacted to by Jammidodger.

The words that come out of our mouths are always less believable than what somebody else imagines us to be like. We cannot be trusted, so when we speak, somebody else has to step in and correct what they see as falsehoods. We’re secretly miserable and in need of help we won’t admit to when we’re not too far gone in our transitions and secretly predatory and a danger to women and girls when we have. From the right, we’re misguided women who need help until we’re spreaders of a dangerous disease that will cause the girls you love and care about to poison and mutilate themselves. From the left, we’re misogynistic gender traitors who have no real problems and are even more dangerous than cis men due to our ability to fall back on our agab when needed and therefore we need to be kept in check more than any cis man does. Both sides consider us sneaky and suspicious and deceitful. Neither is willing to think we are just existing and living our lives in a world that actively wants us gone, and when we dare to complicate things by suggesting that our lived experiences don’t align with the theory that’s been put forth and we’d like to contribute, not a single word of it can be trusted.

(This does, by the way, mean that if you’re not a trans man or transmasc and you choose to listen to us and trust us enough to believe us about our own lives, you’re helping us by pushing against a very prevalent narrative about us and I just want you to know that we see this and we appreciate it so much).

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Think it might be time for me to share my privilege litmus test again. It’s been a few years, and as far as I can tell this hasn’t failed me once. I only use it for queer discourse subjects to determine if someone actually has a given privilege, so if you try to apply it elsewhere, I’m not sure how well it would work. You’ll have to tell me. Anyway, the litmus test is this:

If your “privilege” is dependent upon whether or not you reveal certain key details about yourself, you never actually had that privilege. You were just in the closet.

If you have to hide some aspect of who you are or any past or present details about yourself in order to gain the same benefits as those who objectively do have that privilege, you don’t actually have it.

When you apply this litmus test to a lot of the tumblr queer discourse about who has what privilege, you’ll notice a pattern.

“But what about straight passing privilege” that’s not a real thing. I’m explicitly telling you right now and with this litmus test that that’s not a real thing.

“But trans men who pass and go stealth have male privilege” what I am outright telling you here is that if trans men have to go stealth in order to have male privilege then we don’t and can’t have it. It doesn’t mean we’re not men. It does, however, mean that you don’t have to have male privilege to be a man. Also you people are testing my patience with arguing that because some trans men can pass and go stealth and enjoy the heavily conditional benefits of everyone assuming he’s a cis man that must mean all trans men, including the 16 year old boy who just came out yesterday and hasn’t even gotten a binder or haircut yet, have male privilege. Give me a break.

So, yeah. I just saw someone argue some stupid bullshit on my dash today and decided I hadn’t shared this recently enough. You’re welcome.

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My coworker asked me a question about Queer culture the other day and it was a really good question but I couldn’t think of a polite way to tell them that they didn’t have the foundational knowledge required to support full comprehension of the answer

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So I’m gay? Just because I like sucking other men’s dicks and falling in love with them ? Thats all it takes these days ?

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If you actually take the threat of forced detransition seriously, then you should recognize "Conservative transphobes don't want to kill transmascs, they just want to detransition them" for the callous and out-of-touch statement that it is.

"Ugh, you're actually lucky they don't want to kill you, they just want to permanently cut you off from gender-affirming care, rape you, trap you in marriage and pregnancy, and force you to live the rest of your life as their property."

Wow, I feel so blessed.

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as an asexual who likes to imagine sex but doesnt actually like having sex, sometimes it just feels like sex isnt real but i wish it was. and post

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So much queer discourse is just "i like pancakes" "so you hate waffles?" Type shit

"I believe mspec lesbians are valid" "so you think lesbians just need good dick?"

"I believe trans men can identify as lesbians if they want" "so you think trans men are women?"

"I believe transandrophobia exists" "so you think transfems oppress transmascs?"

No bitch that's a whole new sentence wtf are you talking about