#i dont think ill make it to thursday

[drjemmanugent]

OKAY SO IM NOT A SPOILER FREE BLOG

I respect everyone’s choice to wait for thursday and y’alll have my admiration for your sheer STRENGTH! (how do you do it!?)

if you don’t want spoilers for polin, bridgerton S3, etc., that is totally OKAY ☺️ so please scroll on by. i don’t want to ruin anything for you friend 🥰

BUT-

if you are okay with spoilers, like yours truly-who likes to absorbs everything at once and then shamelessly binge watches again and again, come on in! 😉

so today netflix released the orchestral list for S3 part 1.

out of all the songs, many seem to find “give me everything” by pitbull totally bizarre and I will say too, its definitely out there for a choice. (jealous on the other hand is gold and so colin-coded, but that’s another post). could “gme” be a dancing scene, a montage, a running-to sequence…?? who the heck knows! the only thing on the TUDUM website that inidcates anything about ut is that it will be in ep4…

so i looked for the song version and its a pleasant surpise tbh, the melody and everything really does fit bridgerton 🤣

so for the SPOILER, final warning, i think i found out what the melody will be a background to… i “stumbled” upon a leaked audio for what seems to be the carriage scene (c:apaperpop on TT) OH MY PEARLS and you can hear the beginning strings of the melody behind their words. FOR THE CARRIAGE SCENE

IM ded

no, im still alive but im barely breathing

it’s a choice…

but WHAT A CHOICE and it makes sense?? wot? i think…

the build up the song has, plus the emotions in the scene… i need CPR

anyways, thats all… it might not be much but i’m pretty proud i managed to find this out while on my lunch break from work, if i do say so myself… and i do, so toodaloo 😘

[munchboxart]

Yay I finally managed to make my 2023 art summary! First half of the year was a little disappointing looking back (in terms of both amount and quality). I think I managed to make more personal work this year, thankfully, which is what I wanted last year

[deathbypufferfish]

Doing everything I physically can to not buy cities skylines until my next paycheck I will persevere

[rememberthelaughtermp3]

my piece for @transfemanthony 's thursday zine :) sorry abt the weird cropping, i did try to fix that but editing photos on a laptop is harder than it seems lmao

[autism-corner]

whoever decided that a mental illness should have negative effects needs to DIE.

[sk3l3t0n1n]

i hate myself so fucking much

[amicus-siderum]

Will I see the end of this exam season, or will it see the end of me?

That is the question.

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[phagodyke]

why are glasses so expensiveeeee

[good-enemy]

Can I ask what you think about the Travis relationship? Do you think it’s real or PR? Do you think it will end any time soon? I just hate it so much

Honestly I have no idea, tbh i hadn't really thought about it being PR 🤔 I do think it's real but I wouldn't be like really shocked if it turned out to be PR lol

Idk how soon it will end or if it will end honestly, I feel like they might get married what with how much she talked abt it on ttpd and how much she obviously wants to get married but who knows, maybe she will just never stop working and never have time for marriage :(

[m00ngbin]

I have to draw something it's been two days and I said I'd draw every day but I just don't want to but I'm kind of running on a deadline that expires Wednesday but I drew something two days ago and I'm going to hate drawing for like two more days but I don't have time for that so urgh my day was awful actually thanks for asking, how was YOUR day?

[tchaikovskym]

I've had lazy autumn just to jump in ITS THE SECOND WEEK OF THE YEAR YOU HAVE TO DO 186469 THINGS FOR WORK AND 789 THINGS FOR SCHOOL AND 4 THINGS FOR ENSURING A NICE WEEKEND TRIP AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

[ccrv-7]

its 2 am im getting up at 6 tomorrow and am gonna have to stay in town for a looong long time cause we have a concert at 6pm. fuck. shit. fuck

[pespillo]

"hey Missy, im leaving soon! your mom must be around soon in a few minutes" "already? ah... well it was fun Mister..." "you seem so deep in thought today, dear, did anything happen?" "no... nothing...well, uhm, since i will probably not see you again Mister-" " well never say never, i do hope we meet again dear." "yes i hope so too.. but if we dont, is it alright if you could keep a secret for me?" "oh? what kind of secret?" "well its sort of big, but maybe not so much, i feel... like i just got to tell it to someone ,so, my stomach doesnt feel like rocks" "did you get into trouble? you know its alright if you did, we can fix it together" "no no, its, well i feel, i dont..." "take all the time you need"

"is it ok to hate someone?"

"..."

"im scared i hate him too much"

"who?" "Arty..." "your mom´s boyfriend?" "yes, i dont think he likes me... i dont believe him, as much as he says he loves me." "when does he say that?" "sometimes... but then he´s mean to me, so i get scared, i think i dont make a good kid, i know all my manners and i do good in school but, im not a good girl for him." "that´s not your fault, youre a wonderful girl." "thank you Neighbor, but, i still hate him, and , i dont know, i want my mom to be happy...but sometimes..." "what is it?" "sometimes... i wish he disappeared . and thats bad." "you are allowed to feel angry." "im not angry, im sad." "well, i think youve been the nicest kid ive known, and i think he needs to learn his manners." "youre so nice to me" "you deserve the best, you have a good heart, thank you for telling me your secret" "you wont tell?" "of course not. say, uhmm... this thursday ill come by to give you a little something." "whats it gonna be?" "its a surprise dear."

"well! ill see you then?"

"yes sweetie, ill see you... oh and-"

"yes?"

"you better not go out at night alright? heard the Heartbreaker is on the loose again"

"eep! no sir i wont, ill tell mum too!"

"good kid"

[aropride]

i dont want to do "schoolwork" i want to traumadump. When i was in high school my (ocd-fueled, completely uncontrollable) skin picking was at its worst and there were times i could barely hold a pencil to write bc of how much of my fingers were just open wounds (i have a theory this is part of why i hold pencils "wrong" still- the other part is my parents were too focused on my brothers' fine motor skill development and forgot about me- but i digress) and my parents banned me from using band aids bc i was using too many and they thought it would make me stop using them (it did not) (i remember one time i hung out w friends after school and they walked with me to the grocery store so i could secretly buy bandaids, 💫 would bring them to me too like multiple times, it was a whole thing) so every morning i'd use masking tape and pieces of paper towel or tissue to cover my fingers so i didn't get blood everywhere and i'd steal bandaids from my parents and cut them in half so they'd last longer and use those. anyway during midterms week in late january of my sophomore year i was in an abusive relationship and she had a habit of weaponizing her mental illness to manipulate me while also ignoring my mental illness . and i specifically remember. during my health class midterm i had trouble writing or holding a pencil bc of how bad my skin picking was at the time, like i probably had to turn that paper in with blood on it, it was so painful, there were tears in my eyes, etc. i think i actually got knocked points on one of the later written questions bc i didn't answer all the parts of the question. and the day after my health midterm- late january 2019, my midterm for that class was on a tuesday, i could pin it down to a day if i wanted- i was with my girlfriend-at-the-time in the lobby of my school, and she was talking abt how she couldn't do something because she had a cold, and i mentioned how i couldn't do it bc of my skin picking, and i so vividly remember her saying "well, i can't help having a cold, you can help picking your skin". and i think that was the moment where it really clicked subconsciously like "oh i have GOT to get OUT of this." as you can see this is living rent free in my head 6 years later. it's 10am on a thursday in 2024 and i'm thinking about it.

[sparring-spirals]

I need to yell about fcg and *specifically* this great post that you wrote ( https://www.tumblr.com/sparring-spirals/747570433506902016/okay-after-some-sleep-back-on-my-bullshit-lets ) because it made me realize that I really, truly hope Laura will remember she took off her circlet moments before the bang and Imogen had the chance to hear that fcg was at peace with this decision, not because they were trying to be a martyr, but because they had a true chance to save their friends, knowing full well that detonating *would* be a sacrifice because their life *did* matter.

(I hope sending asks is okay, sorry to barge in like this)

Ahw, hell yeah, glad the post hit hard, recontextualizing it in my head helped a lot with chewing through my feelings about. All of this. I'm always okay with asks!! As long as folks are aware I am not necessarily going to agree with every ask that comes in, and more critically, sometimes I disappear off the face of the Earth for a while, dont answer asks, and then feel too embarassed about answering them so much later/get asks about something I didnt watch, go "ah ill answer when i watch it" and then. Well.

(To the various people who sent the total 12 asks that have been sitting in my box for over a year now. I am. So sorry.)

Honestly, I didnt even think about the possibility that Imogen might have heard it, goddamn. Fascinating. I was fully bracing myself for Bell's Hells just- never knowing, and them having to grapple with it. Which. Takes me out at the knees, tbh. I hesitate to speculate on it too much when the episode is going to come out Thursday and probably prove me wrong, but. God, there's no world where the Bell's Hells would instinctively know that F.C.G had made the call with that attitude, and fuck, that puts all of it into a different light, clearly.

I'm a little apprehensive and tbh deeply curious to see how the Bell's Hells take this- the depth of the loss, the sudden nature of it, the victory against Otohan probably not even feeling that way. Maybe wanting to honor F.C.G's sacrifice but. Probably. And understandably. Angry at them for making that call, but he's not. Even there for them to be angry at. So what then? So what then? They can have all these feelings and have all these questions about why he did it, about what he was thinking, and he's not there to answer them, and that's the issue.

If Imogen did hear his last thoughts, this elevates it into a different kind of heartbreaking, but probably still easier overall. The world where they don't know. Is. A more tricky one to navigate, for sure.

But also if I'm being honest. I am not opposed to how the cast would have the Bell's Hells experience and explore that scenario. So i mean. I mean. I hope so too. But if Imogen didnt. Consider me buckled in for whatever happens.