#and listening to old hip hop in another language

[amicus-siderum]

Will I see the end of this exam season, or will it see the end of me?

That is the question.

[theyhavetakenovermylife]

Bayverse Headcanon: What kind of music do they like?

Idk why I had to do this, but I just had to.

Also, one day I might make more detailed versions of these scenarios.

Warning: Long af, spelling bc I'm dyslexic.

—----------------------------------------------------------

Leonardo:

There are a few sides to the leader in blue. The part that sits in the dojo for hours, meditating in complete silence. Probably one of the few things he had to practice on - meditating with noises all around him. And then there’s the part of him that listens to music, while doing mundane things. Whether it would be cleaning his room, taking a shower, a warm up before training or just chilling in his room or on the rooftops. Leo do enjoy music a lot, he just has clear rules for when he can hear it. No modern music in the dojo! Martial arts should be honored, and to do it in other that silence would be an insult to the arts and the old masters. But outside of the dojo, it would be possible to find Leo with a pair of headphones on every once in a while.

Leo is a rock kid. Not heavy metal - no - that is just not Leo’s kind of music. But old school rock and maybe even glam rock. It was usually music with prominent guitar or bass that he often found himself listening to. It kind of fitted the way he saw himself. Th stoic leader on the rooftop, fighting with an edgy soundtrack in his head. Edgy and cool being the way he described it in his own head. It gave him a slight tingle in his stomach, when he jumped from roof to roof with his headphones on, listening to certain rock songs. He felt like a true leader, jumping high over people’s head, listening to “Zitti E Buoni” by Måneskin. When really feeling it alone in the shower, with the same song booming from his blue bluetooth speaker, he would channel his inner Damiano David, singing along to the fast part without any mistakes. Now, Leo is not usually the one to sing along to songs. He doesn't even hum that often, but when he does, it is usually in the shower. But there was this one time Raph walked past the bathroom, while Leo was screaming his heart out to a Måneskin song. Usually Raph would find a way to make fun of his brother for such a thing, but this time Raph decided not to, mainly because it didn’t sound near as bad as Raph though Leo’s singing would do.

Another artist Leo would be singing along to in the shower is Micheal Jackson. He might even do a few dance moves, but he would NEVER IN HIS LIFE, do them outside of a locked bathroom.

One of Leo’s favorite bands had to be Blur. He really liked Damon Albarn’s voice and the guitar of Graham Coxon, and would often find himself listening to them before going to bed. At one point, Leo even tried to sneak out to see all of Blur play live. Did he get in? Yes. Did he watch them from somewhere just below the roof? Yes. Did the bassist spot Leo, blink in confusion, only to look back up to find the spot Leo had been hiding in empty, with Leo having fled the scene? Yes, and that’s why Leo doesn’t do concerts anymore. But he never told his brothers. Mikey would not be happy to know that Leo had sneaked into a concert, while having told Mikey time and time again that he wasn’t allowed to.

Leo has a thing for languages when it comes to music. He grew up in New York City with English as his first language, with Japanese from Splinter following right after as his second. He decided to learn Spanish, just in case it would get useful, and since he had an Italian first name, he also learned Italien. That would probably explain some of his love for Måneskin. But Leo just really liked languages. He doesn’t have to understand the lyrics in order to enjoy it. One prime example of that is the song “Stefania” by KALUSH and Kalush orchestra, even though it is hip hop in genre. Did Leo understand any Ukrainian? Nope. But did he have a general idea of what the song was about, and found the Ukrainian language beautiful and interesting? Yes, very much. He found the courage of Ukraine inspiring, and would often use that inspiration in his training, which is why this is one of the very few songs he will actually train to outside of warm ups.

A true bedroom song for Leo is “Demoni” by Joker Out. He wouldn’t do much while listening to that. He would just lay in bed with headphones one, eyes closed while either bobbing his head or right foot to the beat. Leo isn't much of a dancer, but more a bobber. That was usually how his brothers knew if he liked a certain song; he would bob his head slightly to the beat. That only fueled Mikey’s imagination, creating a picture in his head of Leo head banging in his room to heavy metal, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. Stoic Leo didn’t head bang, but he did move at least his head or foot lightly.

Now, what does Leo’s brothers like about his music taste? Well, to be honest, most of the time they weren’t too sure what kind of music Leo liked. They did know that he was into rock, and they knew very well that at this point that he liked Måneskin and Micheal Jackson. But there was this one time while driving the garbage truck, that Leo somehow got in charge of the aux. None of the guys really knew what to expect, but “Gladiator” by Jann wasn’t it. Mikey even said something along the lines of; “emo Leo doesn’t listen to My Chemical Romance”, causing Leo to remember once again, why he normally didn’t want to be in charge of the aux, and liked keeping his music to himself.

Raphael:

Raph listens to music quite often. Probably not as often as Mikey, but still at way more than Donnie and Leo. One of the main reasons why Raph listens to so much music is - you probably guessed it - training. He would often lift his weights to the beat of the music, in a way that most humans could only dream of doing. But he would also listen to music on his own, either riding his motorcycle through the streets of New York City at night, or while knitting in his room.

A favorite song of Raphael’s to ride his motorcycle to was “Would You Ever” by Skrillex and Poo Bear. Swerving in and out of traffic, causing people to yell in anger in his direction, or causing groups of girls to giggle and point at the mysterious bad boy that just rode past them. Covered in a helmet and covered in a big leather jacket and cloves, he looks like a big hunk of a man, showing off his motorcycle. But would Raph play his music out loud while riding down the street? Normally he would not. But there was this one time he just couldn’t help himself. Stopping at a red light, Raph found himself beside an open roofed car, filled with giggling human girls. Most of them were tipsy, and Raph wouldn’t be too surprised if the girl in front of the steering wheel was too. Obviously, they had something for big guys, as they started asking about his name, how old he was, where he lived, or if they could get a ride on his motorcycle. Or if he would come ride with them. Raph didn’t say anything, he just pressed a button on his motorcycle, causing the music to disconnect from his helmet, and started playing from his motorcycle speakers. He saluted them, just as the light turned green, riding away while the girls stared at him in awe. In his opinion, it was very much worth it.

Raph has quite a few songs he liked lifting weights to. One of them being “Hello” by Will.I.Am. When Raphael is lifting weights, he will do it proud and loud, playing his music on a red speaker, much to the annoyance of Leonardo, who very much wants to meditate. When it came to boxing, Raph would often listen to Eminem, hyping himself up with the music or the angry lyrics, causing Mikey to ask him what the hell Eminem had done to him, since he would get the need to hit something whenever he heard his voice.

Raph would almost always find a reason to listen to Eminem. When Raph was angry and wanted to hit something; “Kamikaze”. Should Raph ever find himself mad at a woman; “Farewell”. Was Raph ever in a good mood and just wanted to dance and have fun; “Shake that”. But somehow, when Raph was sad, he wouldn’t listen to Emniem. If he was sad and decided to box, he would listen to The Weeknd. Mikey caught on to that pretty fast, and would do his little brother duty to bring up Raph’s mood, whenever he would hear the voice of The Weeknd from Raph's room.

Like Leo, Raph would also listen to music while showering. But it was while being alone in the bathroom, that Raph would listen to much that wasn’t often associated with big angry muscle men like him. It would often be more pop than electronic or hip hop. And god, how Raph hoped none of his brothers would hear him sing along to “i don’t wanna talk about love”, by Micheal Medrano. Raphael could just shut up and shower in silence, but nope, a man got to groove in the shower. Luckily for Raph, only Donnie had heard him once. Had Donnie laughed his ass off as soon as he got to his room afterwards? Yes, oh my god yes he had. But did he tell Mikey and Leo about it? Nope, he did not. But he did tell April and you about it though, and what a laugh you guys had over the phone.

Raph would never admit it to anyone, but he did listen to Madonna, and he did enjoy it. It started with “Future” by Madonna and Quavo, and before he knew it, he was sitting in his room enjoying both “Like A Prayer” and “Like A Virgin”, which led to him singing “Hung Up” in the shower. Madonna would lead to Dua Lipa, and before Raph even realized what was happening, half of his playlist would be pop power women. Loreen, Lady Gaga, old Miley Cyrus songs. And did he know the lyrics? Oh yes he did. And one time, his brothers would catch him listening to at least one of them.

It was one of those days where each turtle seemed to be doing their own thing, which left Raph alone with his work out equipment and his speaker. As usual it started out with Eminem, Juicy J, Kanye West and others, before suddenly “Rendez Vouz” by INNA. That caught Mikey’s attention, and once he heard and saw Raph dance and sing along from his hiding spot, he went to find Leo and Donnie. And oh, how they fought to keep from laughing when Raph started feeling himself too much, working out to “Work Bitch” by Brittney Spears. After that, the phrase “get to work bitch”, was used quite often around Raph.

Donatello:

The purple scientist is very straightforward with his taste in music. If he likes it, he listens to it. He often has music playing while doing stuff in his lab. Sometimes calming lofi music in hopes that it could get him sleepy, but that usually didn’t work very often. Instead Donnie would often find himself listening to music from the indie scene, or what some people on the internet might call vibey music. Aesthetic music. What aesthetic, you might ask? Well, Donnie had no idea, and he most differently thought that the internet had no idea either. One of these so-called vibe or aesthetic pop songs was “HEAVEN AND BACK” by Chase Atlantic. Tapping away on his computer or connecting whatever hard drive, he found that the music helped him concentrate at the task in front of him.

Though Donnie didn’t seem to notice, his brothers did. Most of the songs he listened to had some not so happy lyrics. Often quite depressive, covered over with bass, keyboard, drum kit and sometimes even a saxophone. At one point Leo had brought this concern up with Donnie, causing the purple turtle shrug.

“Music is music. I listen to what I like”, he said, making another cup of coffee, before going back to work in his lab.

Those few times Donnie finally left his lab to relax in his room, he would read a book, listen to songs like “Quite Quitting” by NOT A TOY. To Donnie, music was mainly background noise, helping him to shut out his loud brothers so he could focus. What the lyrics said didn’t bother him too much. But there is one thing Donnie notices in most of the music he listens to; a smooth bass. It didn’t have to be a loud bass, often becoming part of the background with the drums, being overshadowed by smooth special effects or the singing. Donnie really like bass, but he also like smooth keyboards. There had been times where he had thought of getting a bass or keyboard, or maybe even make them himself. Mikey had his drum set, so Donnie might as well get a few instruments of his own.

Like Leo, Donnie liked to listen to music on the rooftops every once in a while. But unlike his brother, Donnie would usually stay at the same roof, remembering the names of stars, plants and constellations on the sky above him, while listening to songs like “ALIENS” by The Griswolds and Transviolet, wearing big soft headphones. Comfort over looks was important for Donnie, and being a mutant turtle hiding from the people of New York City, he didn’t give a crap about what his headphones look like. He thought they were nice, and he likes to wear them, and that was enough for him. His brothers, on the other hand, thought they were chunky and strange, to which he could only say it was good they were his headphones and not theirs. And it was at nights like those, that Donnie thought of how, maybe his brothers were right about his taste in music. He might be a little different from them, like how the alien was described in the song he was listening to. Not that he worried too much about it. He liked his head and the brain inside it, and with that came being different. That’s just how it was.

But not all the music Donnie listens to is filled with sadness and depression. Songs such as “Strange Clouds” by ufo ufo were a good morning song according to Donnie. When he woke up after finally having had a full night's sleep, he would listen to songs like that, while making breakfast or making his coffee. But then later in the day, sitting in front of the computer screen, once again not being able to sleep, he would listen to stuff like “Numb” by 8 graves. It was the lyrics from that song that had made Leo’s alarm bells ring. Mikey on the other hand wasn’t too worried. He just called Donnie’s music taste “calm edge lord, that doesn’t need to try hard”.

Now, if there was one artist Donatello had to say was his favorite, it would probably be Mystery Skulls, especially “Stronger”. A nice bass in front and center, backed up with synth all around. But Donnie also really liked Luke Black. Way different from all the other music Donnie would listen to, yet he really liked it. He would probably never admit it to his brothers, but he did listen to the lyrics of Luke Black, and he did find it more than a little interesting.

Michelangelo:

Mikey - or as he like to call himself; DJ Mikey - listens to music all the time, every day, everywhere, rarely turning down for the sake of any of his brothers, blasting it oh so loud on his orange speaker, only putting headphones on if his brothers threatened him. Or if Master Splinter asked him to.

He sang along, danced along, sometimes even to the embarrassment of others, like the many times he would scream along to “Turn It Up” by Oliver Tree, Little Big and Tommy Cash.

Mikey likes big, loud and up beat music. Something he can move his body to and be his little happy self. It could be anything from pop to hip hop, maybe even electronic or EDM. It would usually consist of him listening to the same few songs over and over again, until he is getting slightly tired of them, while his brothers are ready to rip their heads off, or maybe dig into their skulls to rip their ears out.

With Mikey being his small ADHD self, it wouldn’t be strange for him to listen to music made by people with ADHD for people with ADHD, making a big deal out of it. One of those songs being “Irresponsible” by Emei. There was this one time he almost made Donnie deaf by blasting the song into his ears while scream: "This song is made for me!"

Much to Leo’s annoyance, Mikey didn’t follow his rule of “no music in the dojo”, since Mikey often found it easier to train with music. This man can do all of his katas perfectly, if only “Hypnodancer” by Little Big is playing in the background.

If there is one thing Mikey likes, it is listening to “Pac-man” by Gorillaz, and making eating pizza into his own version of pac man, in which his brothers are the ghosts, and he has to steal pizza from them. At this point, his older brothers know to keep a good eye on their food as soon as that song starts playing... Or if he just plays Gorillaz at all.

Another thing Mikey likes when it comes to music, is when his brothers somehow enjoy what he’s playing. It had happened before, and it would most likely happen again. Mikey sat in the middle of the lair, happily dancing where he sat while reading comics, playing “Go Bananas” by Little Big. Raph didn’t growl at him from his bench press, but instead started to lift the weights on every other beat. Donnie sat at his computer, pressing the keys of his keyboard in beat with the song, probably without noticing. And Leo was bobbing his head ever so slightly while sharpening his katanas. This had Mikey over the moon, which only caused him to want to play more music for his brothers. Every once in a while they would let him do it, just to make their little brother happy. That was the main reason why Mikey is the aux guy.

When Mikey decided to skateboard, he would most often do it with old school hip hop playing. As a turtle in the sewers of New York, that only made sense to him, which is why he often would skate up and down the sewers, vibing with “The Message” by Grandmaster Flash & The Furious Five. And of course Mikey could rap the whole thing. Now, this was one of those few songs that Leo, Raph and Donnie didn’t mind Mikey playing over and over again.

But then there were those times on patrol where Mikey just would start singing out of nowhere. When he started breaking into “Sax” by Fleur East, complete with thought out dance moves in the way only Mikey could do it, Raph was ready to throw him off the roof and down to ongoing traffic.

It would be no surprise to tell you that one of Mikey’s favorite artists is Little Big, and that he also loves Gorillaz. But he would also quite often listen to the music that his brothers were playing. He very well knew that Leo loved listening to Blur, and that most of Raph’s playlist was made up of power women, and that Donnie’s secret favorite was Luke Black. And of course Mikey could sing every single word to the songs of his brothers' favorite artists, being the little attentive brother that he is. And because his music taste had room for more than theirs had.

—----------------------------------------------------------

You can tell I’m European, can’t you?

[narukaminigga]

AYE NIGGA(S) LISTEN UP

back in days of old, rap and hip hop was seen as a foolish endeavor; a moronic art form made by black people. whites did not gaf about it. thankfully while that’s changed… tumblr one of the only social medias i use to keep in contact with the outside world. i’ve seen the dumbest, stupidest posts because tumblr is a white hell. there are basically next to no black bloggers. they’re either dead or they abandoned the site or they were banned during that whole russian bot shit and whatever remains of black tumblr is a decrepit grave that i wish i experienced—but thanks to the hostilities of the white userbase and the staff’s oppressive nature towards blacks first and foremost, most of us are gone. i have been on this site for approximately a year or two and i have only accrued a few black people on this site. every other thing i see is traditionally antiblackness laced in progressive language, clear unbridled ignorance of black phrases, substitutions of “nigga” for the euphemism “f slur” and especially because of kendrick lamar’s beef with drake extending across the entire internet and worldwide; tumblr the “hating” website gets ahold of it. for the first time, people experience the lyricisms of kendrick and the banality of drake on full display…

and then instead, tumblr users (predominantly white) complain about the innate violence of rap, comparing fucking kendrick to LEMON DEMON (nigga who listens to LEMON DEMON????), saying some stupid shit about how rap boring as fuck, etc. etc., and it’s exhausting its so exhausting because so many people on this site refuse to acknowledge rap as a real music form and instead gas up their metal bands basically ran by neo nazi whiteboys and still are terrified of blackness. and even when they dip their toes into the art, they back away. i know everyone rn is flaming each other over this but this website is notorious for it’s systemic bigotry against blacks. we are not property and vehicles for ideological rhetoric. we are not hapless. we aren’t slaves. we are people. listen to our music nigga. you don’t like it? move on. don’t say nothing. don’t go on posts like some people have been doing and going: “oooohhhh rap lame as fuck!”. learn culture bro. and i dont want nobody to feel any white guilt but so many of you on tumblr are just so fucking bigoted for no reason towards black people (even those hardcore marxists on here). i just dont wanna see another post about a white person tweaking out over rap. go listen to black artists and support black people. support black men. support black women. support black transmascs and black transfems. support black intersex people. support all black queers. support ALL black people.

[bingoboingobongo]

task force 141 + christmas songs

Characters: Simon "Ghost" Riley, Kyle "Gaz" Garrick, John "Soap" MacTavish, John Price, Alejandro Vargas, Rodolfo "Rudy" Parra

Type: Fluff, headcanons

Warnings: explicit language

A/N: the order is kinda whack i wrote these as i thought of them. also i have two tests tmmrw halp

ghost:

yes ghost's favorite christmas song is last christmas by wham! it's been confirmed

i mean can you blame him?

to ghost, it's everything he loves about music mixed with a christmas song he can relate to (sort of)

he likes the sort of mellow but still peppy nature of the song (especially compared to artists like mariah carey who he thinks is too peppy and michael buble who he thinks is too mellow)

it's the sorta song you can absent-mindedly sing to while you're working which he enjoys

plus the drums and the cymbals (?) really get him in the festive mood

whenever he listens to it he'll tap his foot/nod to the rhythm or lipsync under the mask (another benefit of keeping his face covered)

ofc your chances of seeing him do this in front of the team are slim to none

but when he's alone (either with you or just in his room or smthing) he'll pull out a little shimmy when the song starts getting good

he also likes the sort of sad undertone to the lyrics

he feels like it adds depth and makes it relatable

kyle "gaz" garrick:

alright hear me out on this one because i actually really love this hc

so first, i can totally see gaz being a fan of tyler, the creator when he was younger, but then being less invested as he grew up

but he went to see the grinch (2018) in theaters on christmas day with his family and that was when he first heard the song

off topic but i also hc that gaz has a younger sister and brother

and they're like considerably younger, like they're children

idk what his canon family situation is like but idc bc this is what's canon now bc i said so

so yeah that's why they went to watch the movie

and i mean what's not to love about this song

he really likes the rap/hip hop twist on a classic christmas song

and let's be real the whole soundtrack slaps like gaz was definitely listening to it on repeat for the entire holiday season that year

when gaz hears this song he definitely starts grooving, clapping, singing along

i mean it's not like he has a choice the song is actually so good i love it so much

like he's just so in love with the way tyler, the creator was able to reinvent an old song and give it such a good beat and like completely change up the cadence but still make it sound good

and yes he lives for the ending scream

rodolfo "rudy" parra:

guys i mean this is just fact atp

and don't say that this isn't a christmas song because that is rudy's biggest pet peeve and he will fight you about it

because according to him it came out during the holiday season and it's a movie with amazing visuals of snow and winter and the main character literally has ice powers so therefore it's a winter movie

sometimes the rest of the team will try and come up with other movie soundtracks that would therefore qualify as christmas music according to his standards

this always pisses rudy off and he'll insist it's different

i think the best part is that rudy watched frozen 2 by himself

i mean he was a big fan of frozen he wanted to see the sequel can u blame him

in his opinion the plot was a little weaker than the first but the soundtrack gave the original a serious run for it's money

and of course before this came out his favorite christmas song was let it go (and yes he also got mad when people said it wasn't a christmas song)

he likes the panic! at the disco version over the idina menzel version because he says it makes him feel more seen

nobody really knows what he means by that

you guys just assume it's because it's a male singer

rudy will also sing this song out loud any chance he gets

he's a decent singer don't get me wrong but that song's got some high notes rudy just can't hit

he swears that one time he was able to hit every single one but he was alone when it happened

usually though he can hit a solid majority (and he always geeks out when he does)

and yes, he will insist on watching frozen and frozen 2 during the holiday season and yes he will sing during every song

john "soap" mactavish:

honestly same, soap, same

soap's a firm believer that not only is this song the best christmas song out there, it should be the face of christmas instead of mariah carey's all i want for christmas is you

people have tried pointing out that all i want for christmas is you isn't necessarily the face of christmas but he insists it is and insists that title is undeserved

he says he hates it because it's overplayed but everyone else is 99% sure there's something more

your theory is that one of his exes really liked all i want for christmas is you and then it ruined the song for him

but now onto sleigh ride

soap believes it's the epitome of everything christmas

it's festive, it's peppy, it's got great vocals

he really likes the instrumentals and it's honestly his favorite part

the snaps, the piano, the flute/whistling, the trumpets (?)

whatever it is he's in love and he thinks that it really just sells the cheeriness of christmas

he also lives for the 'ring-a-ling-a-ling-a-ding-dong-dings"

he will sing those out loud all day any day

he also tries to do mariah carey's whistle notes every time and not once has he ever gotten it

beyond that he also just sucks at singing

but honestly he just seems so happy singing that it sorta cancels out the way he's making everyone's ears bleed

he also does a little head wiggle and shimmy combo to dance to this song

and he does that little like dance and point at the parts of the song right before the beat "drops"

john price

alright so the first time he listened to this song was after christmas one year when his nephew said he wasn't cool

so he figured this song would make him cool

the efficacy of that tactic is still being debated

i mean don't get me wrong pentatonix fucking slaps

but also the acapella version of anything is not a very orthodox way of making yourself cool

needless to say his nephew was not impressed when the next christmas came around

price doesn't care though because he actually fell in love with the song after listening to it for so long

he's very much in awe of the way all their voices can come together and make it sound there's actually instruments and stuff

like he will rave about it for so long whenever the song comes on

whenever it plays he sings along but he doesn't try and beat box

that's bc one time he did that in front of gaz and laswell and gaz had to leave the room while laswell stared at him in shock

it's been his secret life mission to get insanely good at beatboxing and then show them someday ever since then

progress is not going well

also you can bet he has this song memorized to the tee

and yes he'll chastise people if they put the wrong gift to the wrong day

unlike his beatboxing, price's singing is actually pretty good so at least it gives the team something nice to listen to

alejandro vargas:

ok i feel like at first his favorite song was baby it's cold outside by idina menzel and michael buble

and then rudy pointed out the creepy undertones and it ruined the song for him

also he was distraught when he found out

and then this song took over as number one in his heart

for starters, he's just a massive fan of michael buble

also he once got front row tickets to a michael buble concert but he couldn't go last minute because he got called on a mission and he's still salty about it

he likes the way michael buble rewrote the lyrics to be more fitting for guys

also he likes the sorta relaxed almost lazy rhythm of the song

he insists it makes it sexier

nobody knows what that means or why it matters but he's very persistent about it

and god damn alejandro's singing voice is actually good fr

like it gives michael buble but if michael buble was a smoker and did country songs

but honestly the gravel in alejandro's voice works really well when he's singing

and lord knows he sings this song whenever it comes on

it's not obnoxious tho so it's nice to listen to

he doesn't really dance but he'll jokingly offer you a slow dance to this song

he considers this the classiest christmas songs and says it's only for people with real taste in music

[luthanraels-bignaturals]

i love you rap. i love you motown. i love you new wave. i love you folk music. i love you country music. i love you classical music. i love you funk. i love you disco. i love you hip-hop. i love you rnb. i love you salsa. i love you classic rock. i love you new metal. i love you swing. i love you jazz. i love you blues. i love you prog rock. i love you psychedelic rock. i love you samba. i love you reggaton. i love you pop. i love you grunge. i love you punk. i love you ska. i love you two tone. i love you indie rock. i love you emo. i love you pop-punk. i love you goth. i love you post punk. i love you alt-rock. i love you glam rock. i love you rock-n-roll. i love you metals. i love you two-tone. i love you reggae. i love you hair metal. i love you taliwood musical sountracks. i love you mongolian throat singing. i love you mariachi music. i love you music from ancient civilizations. i love you genres that fuse two of them together. i love you genres that fuse a lot of them together. i love you music that doesn’t fit in any genre. i love you expirimental music. i love you long songs. i love you lyrics. i love you underground music. i love you mainstream music. i love you artsy music production. i love you music in a language I can’t understand. I love you old music. I love you new music. I love you beat and rhythm. i love you melody. i love you albums. i love you album cover art. i love you weird voices. i love you singers with really deep voices. i love you singers with really nasally voices. i love you singers with a really strong accent. i love you singers who can not be mistaken for another person because they’re voice is so distinct. i love you sounds. music is literally the most beautiful thing in the world i genuinely one the lottery being born at a time there’s so much music from everywhere and i have cried tears of joy because of music and music is people story telling and artists at their craft and people trying so hard to make others feel how they feel and when you listen to music that is sad in the same way you are sad and it feels like solidarity with someone you’ve never met and it feels like comfort. and music thats sounds so happy it feels like warm sunshine and your heart feels like a hot air balloon trying to rise out of your chest. and when rachmaninoffs piano concerto gets to the part where it swells and i’m deiving over a mountain pass and the world is so beautiful i can’t stand it and people are kind and loving. peace love happiness bliss hot take but i think music is good

[cutieeeszn]

Hobby’s to pick up:

Okay, if I’m being honest. I am very inconsistent with my hobbies. I end up dropping them all. But having hobbies and activities really help you in multiple ways. Finding new friends, learning new things, disengaging from electronics. (I see y’all) so here are a few hobbies to look into. Some of them ive tried/been trying to get into. And these are the ones I’m most consistent with. :)))

Crochet

Crochet or knitting is so calming. And really not that expensive. It’s simple to learn. And you can do it over playing some music. Let me know if there’s any crochet tutorial accounts you’d love to know!

Drawing

- ah. This one is simple. Many tutorials available. I’d say, begin with finding out your art style. Experiment. Go crazy. You can trace some drawings first, as practice. Slowly move on to actually drawing. And remember, be creative. Finding your own art style is so important and influences how good your drawing may come out.

Learning a new language

This one is fun. Duolingo…my best friend right now. I’m doing French. It’s a beautiful language, and after a while of learning French. (3 weeks) when I’m listening to songs I can understand some parts. I also find it so entertaining comparing them to English words and how they link. 21 days forms a habit. So, doing duolingo. Kind of an habit now.

Embroidery

Again, calming. It’s beautiful to see how the images end up. And it’s more fun when you draw your own images. Really cheap I believe, varying from where you’re from. But making pillows, frames and little pieces is so lovely with embroidery.

Writing/ Poetry

This one is good and interesting as a hobby, personality trait. And for your mind. Training your brain to express its thoughts in different words, sequences and hidden under other meanings. Is so beautiful.

Digital scrapbooking

My instagram is filled with these. Actually, I only have one post. But it’s a digital scrapbook. Using CANVA and 17v28 to make these scrapbooks are so fun. Not messy, and so easy.

Dancing

Not only does it look snazzy. Dancing has so many health benefits. Hip Hop to ballet to jazz. Now I think about it, I miss being a dancer.

Reading

Be a book warm, have no shame about it. Really. Let me know if you want some book recommendations. Books take you into another world, let you view things. It’s trust beautiful when you find the right kinda book.

Creating a tumblr blog

I just started this. It’s fun though. That’s all I can say.

Fashion Designing

I sewed a shift dress. Well, kind of. It’s so fun making clothes. Although, fashion design was a school subject. It’s very fun to do. You can remake clothes at home. Turn an old skirt into a shirt. Go crazy. (Btw, when you take classes you start noticing fashion design features in your clothes. I noticed seam allowances, overlocking.)

Learning to play an instrument

I’m guilty of picking and dropping instruments. Currently, it’s guitar for me. I was really good at clarinet, and eh and piano. But now, I’m going back to guitar. Learning and instrument has many benefits. Study wise, talent wise, im pretty sure mentally too!

Normal Scrap Booking

Same thing as digitally. Just pulls you away from the screen ;)

Photography.

Capture those moments. Cherish them. Post them. Print them. Annotate them. Write about them. Just capture them.

Sincerely,

bliss5tar.

[helloiamadrawer]

Class 1A Boys + music they listen to (PART 2)

There's always that ONE person who is like a parent when it comes to his whole class and music making sure it's "school appropriate" and that would be no other than the class rep, Iida.

Has a playlist for literally his life routine lol (study, relaxing, outings, running in the rain in his retro raincoat 😂,etc.). I feel like he would listen to like 90's music, classic rock (his fav artist is Foo Fighters for sure) he doesn't mind playing his stuff every now and then but he's busy most of the time preparing for class. nerd lol.

May sound shocking but he likes SOME rap but it's all old school rap/hip-hop like Biggie, Ice T, Usher, MC Hammer but he only listens to it outside of U.A though because he doesn't want "taint his image of class rep". He tried trying new school rap and..let's say he'll just stay where he is (he almost got hurt BUT that's for another story!)

The only classmate that is so chill with almost every genre of music is Sero. Even songs in different languages and more exotic genres like nudisco, jazzfunk, and french house (which are his favorites, cause it's a rarity he cherishes). He would play japanese funk while he drives down the road JUST for the ✨aesthetic✨ (future au idea). Dua Lipa, Kali Uchis, Doja Cat, Rosalia, JIAFEI just any other artist that sings in another language other than english he'll know. And he sings it so well but has no idea what a lick of it means well except for japanese.

Is not scared of talking about it to any of his classmates and actually persuading them to give it a try or if he plays it on his bluetooth speaker before class starts and then one of his classmates asks him the next day for ex: Tokoyami asks him "Hey Sero, what was that techo like song were you playing yesterday, for some reason it's in my head." and then the tape boi will go through his recently played songs from yesterday (he's a yt music kinda guy tbh). Then basically almost everybody is interested in what he has in store next

In other words he's the one who always brings his speaker to class but is respectful and plays it before class even starts, he's an early bird.

Denki, is the twin of Sero cool with any kind of music but leans more into the weebcore/rap category. He most likely will play weeb music in his dorm room, the usual anime openings and ending theme songs with a dorky smile on his face humming along while reading manga.

Is the aux cord GOD, will never disappoint the Bakusquad with any music he plays in the car he'll play some Marshmello and everyone would get littt🔥🔥🔥 or some nostalgic jpop to sing awfully off tune to to piss off Bakugo ofc.

Fun Fact: The whole Bakusquad got kicked out of his car at least five times singing terribly lmaooooo

(!!I'M WRITING THIS HEADCANON BEFORE THE TRAITOR ERA HE HAD!!)⬇️

💅Voguing king✨ that's the title Yuga Aoyama gives himself when his headphones are filled with the sounds of VOGUE EDITS IM SORRY HE SERVES CUNT ISTG GO LOOK AT HIS HERO COSTUME UGHHHH 😫 he even putson fashion shows with the Class A Girls 🥺🥺 *imagines him voguing to this 1 hour playlist of just phonk/runway music cause I can*

He is also very bold at expressing his love for future funk obsession, his peers don't mind it at all..well, ONE person *cough cough bakugo*. ⬇️

Totally applies his makeup (generally eyeliner cause he has the ✨prettiest✨ eyes, fight me 🤪)to either one of those two categories imo (he gives me when i suddenly want to try runway eyeliner makeup😭 -cries in non fem queen-)

BEST FOR LAST MOTHAFUCKIN' BAKUGO AND KIRISHIMA aka BakuKiri or KiriBaku (shoutout to the shippers for that pair✌️) 💥🤟

Heavy Metal/Death Metal for Bakugo

NEFFEX, Rock and workout tunes for Kirishima

Five Finger Death Punchis literally Boom Boom Boi's fav and Kiri is in the car just vibing and just not minding it at all knowing it's his way of relieving stress from work plus it's manly sounding anyway to him as well so whatever makes him happy ❤️

Psst..come here..*whispers in your ear* Bakugo gets with Tokoyami for secret thrashing sessions sometimes 🤫

YOU CANNOT TELL ME THAT THEY DON'T! THE DARK OVERLORD AND THE ANGRY POMERANIAN THRASHING TOGETHER LMAOO AND THEN KIRI JOINS IN LATER AND THEN THE WHOLE BAKUSQUAD LMAOAOAO

Now Kiri goes to the gym pumping iron to some Neffex is a must for him that's his whole workout niche but anywhere his workout playlist goes who knows?

Has a whole thrash playlist as well go figs

Disco on the treadmill? yes please

Dubstep while throwing around that heavy ass rope? yessir yessir

At the end of the day he's chillin' to some chillstep while laying on his bed after a shower, resting to recharge for the next day

MIneta...yeahhhh dont give him the aux cord..just don't trust him

Imma just say one word that he would blare on someone speaker

Cupcakke

That is all..so hide yo aux cords or don't bring it at all and just stick to the radio

[abookishdreamer]

Character Intro: Kydoimos (Kingdom of Ichor)

Nicknames- The Roar, The God Fury by the people of Olympius

Father by Dyssebeia & Koros

Hammer by his friends

Age- 57 (immortal)

Location- Sparta, Olympius

Personality- He's brilliant, hawkish, & generally antagonistic with a fine trigger temper. With honest clarity and self reflection, he's been trying to find peace within himself so that he doesn't always have to rely on anger & rage to express himself or solve his problems. He's currently single.

Kydoimos is the father to Dyssebeia (goddess of ungodliness & impiety) and Koros (god of surfeit & disdain). He used to be married to their mother Amphillogia (goddess of arguments, disputes, & altercations). They've been divorced for almost a century.

He has the standard abilities of a god except shapeshifting. As the god of uproar & battlefield confusion his other powers/abilities include sound manipulation, amplifying/decreasing the battle-din, being able to generate his sonic war cry (which can be heard from hundreds of miles away), inducing temporary deafness in others, being able to manipulate the feelings of rage & confusion in others, as well as creating an illusion of battle. When experiencing intense feelings of rage and anger, he grows to a hulking mass with reddish bronze skin measuring 10 ft tall- weighing nearly 2,000 lbs! In this state, he has the abilities of shockwave generation & thermokinesis.

Kydoimos primarily lives in the state of Sparta in a brick mansion. All the doors are made from Celestial Bronze. His place has an industrial interior design with metal framed windows, concrete & metal walls and ceilings, rough dark wood flooring, leather & wood furniture with steel, dark metal, and glass furniture pieces. He also owns a vacation home in the state of Troy.

He has an animal companion- a dragon named Vendathros who's known as "The Bronze Frenzy." He's a muscular hulking beast (the sixth largest dragon) with bronze-gold horns, claws, & crests, bronze and gold scales, & tan wings. The energies of dragon and rider are intertwined. Vendathros is Kydoimos' primary mode of transportation, especially when he travels out of state.

A notable physical feature is his short dark auburn hair. Another notable feature of Kydoimos unseen by the naked eye is his poor hearing. Hephaestus (god of the forge) designed & made a pair of specialized high tech hearing aids that he generally wears.

He can play the drums, trombone, and electric guitar.

When Kydoimos isn't working out in the morning, he's more often than not to keep in shape by taking flight on his dragon.

He enjoys listening to death metal, rap, hip-hop, rock, & heavy metal music- putting the volume all the way up.

He's fluent in Latin as well as GSL (Greek Sign Language).

Kydoimos LOVES eating a scorching hot bowl of black broth (a Spartan delicacy made with vinegar, oil, pork, and pig's blood) for breakfast. He also enjoys scrambled eggs (added with tomatoes & tons of red peppers), crispy sausage links, and slices of burnt toast. He also likes the Earthly Harvest raisin crunch cereal as well as the Spartan Crunch cereal.

He fought in the Olympian Army led by Zeus (god of the sky, thunder, & lightning) during the Titanomachy. At first, Kydoimos wasn't sure that the scrawny newly discovered heir of Kronos (Titan god of the harvest, time, & fate) had any fight in him or battle prowess, but he grew pleasantly surprised at how the blond usurper had the fighting courage of a thousand ferocious griffins!

In storage, Kydoimos still has intricately designed & crafted Celestial Bronze armor and sword.

It's notoriously known in the pantheon of his love of beer, which is why one of his nicknames is "The God of Ale." In one sitting, he once drank 100 bottles. He also likes jack & cokes, whiskey sours, black & tans, moscow mules, cola, old fashioned cocktails, dirty martinis, black velvets, manhattans, red wine, bourbon lemonade, and boilermakers. The usual from The Roasted Bean is an olympian sized dark roast coffee- no cream, no sugar.

Kydoimos has many regrets regarding his marriage to his ex-wife, but he doesn't regret marrying Amphillogia. He does regret how emotionally immature and quick to anger he was- how often his words were laced with venom & how he always allowed his anger to choose for him. Even though there were more than enough times where Amphillogia put hands on him, Kydoimos knew he didn't have to follow suit. He knew things went too far when his son (a baby at the time) was almost gravely injured during a usual fight. Kydoimos hasn't seen or spoken to his ex-wife since their divorce was finalized.

He thought about reaching out after hearing news about her beloved dragon's death, but at the last minute, decided not to.

His guilty pleasure is the inferno burger (with extra sriracha mayo, ghost peppers, & roasted jalapeños) along with olympian sized onion rings from Olympic Chef, washing them down with an olympian sized cola with extra ice. He'll sometimes order three burgers!

Being a father is the one aspect of Kydoimos' life that he feels he didn't fuck up. Dyssebeia and Koros are each a half of his heart through all the high octane dysfunction. A favorite pasttime for the three of them is when they ride their dragons together! At times, he's definitely closer to his daughter, considering Kydoimos was a reassuring figure in the beginning of her godly career as she was coming to terms with her energy absorption ability. He also put money into his son's music career & has been to several concerts of his punk rock band Dissonance Machine.

One time while Kydoimos was visiting Koros in the city during national free french fry day, they went to all the Olympic Chef locations, filling an empty 55 gallon oil drum to the top with cajun fries. They enjoyed the fries amongst themselves while drinking a few beers sitting underneath the New Olympus sign.

His favorite frozen treat is red velvet ice cream.

Kydoimos' primary source of income comes from his demolition business. His small demolition company perform controlled destruction of structures, from single rooms to entire buildings. The company also specilaizes in partial demolitions, deconstuction, excavation, & site preparation. He also works in the army as a military scientist- with a specific interest in gamma radiation.

His favorite basketball team is the Sparta Spears while his favorite wrestler (also a native Spartan) is a laistrygonian giant named Bonecrusher.

In the pantheon Kydoimos is friends with Hecaterus (Titan god of manual labor), the hecatoncheires (Cottus, Briareus, & Gyges), Pseudologos (god of lies), Hysminai (goddess of fighting & combat), Iapetus (Titan god of mortality, pain, & death), the blacksmithing cyclopes (Arges, Brontes, & Steropes), Menoetius (Titan god of rage, violence, & rash actions), Astrape (goddess of lightning), Pallas (Titan god of battle & warcraft), Bronte (goddess of thunder), Homadus (god of the battle-din), Perses (Titan god of destruction), and Polemos (god of the war cry).

His snore can also be heard from several miles away.

Ever since his divorce, he's been keeping things casual when it comes to his interactions with female beings. Kydoimos made the decision to step back into the dating world when Dyssebeia helped him make a dating profile. He dated Amechania (goddess of helplessness & want) for a year before she broke up with him.

Now, Kydoimos has his sights set on Lyrikós (Titaness of voice & song). Of course he finds her beauty appealing, but he's also drawn to her by her alluring singing voice, especially when he saw her perform at The Golden Laurel Awards with her daughter Aoide (goddess of voice & song).

Only he knows the true deepening feelings his son shares for Felis (Titaness of cats).

He's tried to help Homadus several times with his financial problems, but Kydoimos has been rejected at every turn. He anonymously helped out by asking a customer to leave a 400 drachma tip at The Crushed Skull where Homadus works as a part-time bartender.

He and Iapetus have been going on more hunting trips since the punishment of Prometheus (Titan god of forethought). Kydoimos has also been a listening ear when it comes to Iapetus' marriage with Clymene (Titaness of fame & renown).

His all time favorite dessert is the red velvet cake from Hollyhock's Bakery.

His all time favorite meal is savory kokkinisto with herbed garlic roasted potatoes.

In his free time Kydoimos enjoys tai chi, mountain climbing, biking, poker, basketball, playing pool, football (soccer), going to the gun range, field hockey, chess, going to monster truck rallies, boxing, axe throwing, cooking, hiking, and archery.

"The battlefield is a scene of constant chaos. The winner will be the one who controls that chaos, both his own and the enemies."

[flawlessassholes]

high school coach daniel / star athlete max 🙂

EXCELLENT prompt please enjoy daniel coaching his star gymnast girl!max :) ~940 words, mostly sfw if still slightly psychosexual, more under the cut!

“Hips, Max, hips!” He yells as his eyes track Max’s flying body as she throws a layout Geinger. He can tell she has too much momentum—her center of gravity is wrong, and she’s headed nose-first into the high bar. 

He slides the mat over the bar at the last second as Max’s grip-covered hands slap futile against the vinyl, and she falls eight feet and lands on her front. 

“Ouch,” he says with a wince, even though Max hates it. She hates falling almost as much as she hates failing, which is why she’s a damn good gymnast. Daniel’s best—and the best he’s seen in years. 

Max makes a frustrated sound and slaps her hands against the mat. “Goddamn it!” 

Jev shoots Daniel a look from where he’s working on somersaults with the level ones. 

Daniel winces. “Language, Maxy.” 

Max stands up, strands of blonde hair wild and manic as they fall out of her braid. “I would’ve had that!” 

Here they go again. 

“No, you didn’t.” 

Max blows a stray piece of hair off her forehead. “I did, and I would’ve caught it if you hadn’t moved the stupid mat in the way!” 

Daniel rolls his eyes and hops down from the spotter’s block. “The only thing you had was a mouthful of solid wood.” 

Sometimes, Max is a lot less like a seventeen-year-old girl and a lot more like a fourteen-year-old boy. She opens her mouth to make the joke Daniel knows she’s going to make, and Daniel holds up his hand. “Nope, don’t wanna hear it. Go condition and then cool down.” 

Max crosses her arms. “Come on, let me try it one more time!” 

If Daniel lets Max get back up on the bars and throw another Geinger when she’s been practicing for five hours, she’s going to tear her rotator cuff—or worse. And Daniel knows worse. Intimately. 

He tells her as much, and Max shakes her head and starts chalking up. “I’m doing it again with or without you, so if you don’t want to spot, then that’s fine by me.”

“Max—”

Max is already jumping to the high bar. He needs to stop indulging her, but he also doesn’t want her to break her neck, so he climbs back up on the spotter’s block. 

“Keep your hips up, core tight, up, up—” 

She nails it because of course she fucking does. 

He climbs down as she dismounts, and she launches herself at him like she does after every perfect ten at a meet. 

“See!” She says breathlessly as she steps back, his hands falling away from her lower back. “I told you I could do it!” 

“I didn’t doubt it for a second,” Daniel says. He shakes his head and nods towards the floor. “Now come on, go condition and cool down.” 

She practically skips off to join the rest of the optionals. Max has outpaced the level eights and nines her age—she needs more at her level, beyond what he can give her at his shitty little gym in the middle of nowhere. 

He returns to his office, which is more of a storage room for mats and chalk with a desk shoved in than an office, and works on meet registration until he gets distracted by approving the new team leo designs. 

“I think navy makes my ass look better,” Max says from behind him, and Daniel definitely doesn’t shriek as he slams the laptop shut. 

“Christ, you scared the shit out of me,” Daniel exhales, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Also, like, you know you can’t say that shit. You took the same safe sport seminar I did.” 

“Yeah but that’s for coaches who are creepy pervs,” Max says, perching herself on Daniel’s desk. She hasn’t changed out of her sweaty practice leo. “You’re normal.” 

Daniel wishes he were normal. 

“Listen, I sent some of your clips over to my old coach. He’s good friends with Christian Horner.” 

Max stares at him. “Like. Coach of the national team Christian Horner?” 

“Yeah, him.” Daniel leans back in his office chair that’s falling apart like everything at this gym. It’s nothing like Horner’s, or the NTC facilities. “He’s invited you to their fall invitational to practice with the team. You’re probably too old for the national team, but there will be D1 schools there, you can get your name out there for scholarships—what’s wrong?” 

Max doesn’t look happy. He thought she’d be thrilled. 

“You know my dad doesn’t give me the money for these kinds of things,” Max says. She looks away—trying to hide her disappointment. “He won’t take the time away from taking Victor karting.” 

Daniel—Daniel knows. Max practices for free, the only girl at the gym he can afford to let do that. The rest of the optionals gossip about her, he knows. But Max isn’t like the rest of the optionals—she could make it to one of the big university teams, could—could maybe even go beyond that. 

“I know,” Daniel says. “But they do require your coach to be present, so if you’re okay with road tripping with me—” 

“Shut up,” Max says, her mouth falling open. “Daniel, we—?” 

He can’t hide his grin any longer. He smiles, all teeth, and Max screeches in excitement, leaping away from the desk. She does a little happy dance and pulls him so he’s standing and doesn’t wait until he’s fully out of the chair before launching into his arms and nearly knocking him flat on his ass. “Thank you thank you thank you!” She says, breathless in his ear. “I won’t let you down, I promise.”

He hugs her back and doesn’t say, you couldn’t if you tried. 

[newmusickarl]

Top 50 Albums of 2022: #30-21

30. Being Funny In A Foreign Language by The 1975

They may be the biggest Marmite band around, but there is no denying that The 1975 are operating at an artistic level that few of their mainstream pop peers can reach. In fact, I still find it so strange that a band as avant-garde as they are, have the global fanbase that they do. But then when you listen to an album as consistently joyous and effortlessly timeless as Being Funny In A Foreign Language, it all starts to make sense.

Funktastic single Happiness is one of the biggest highlights, delivering exactly what it says on the tin. Still one of their finest tracks to date, it’s impossible not to get swept away by the vintage 80s style guitar groove, wonderfully polished production and instantly catchy chorus of “Show me your love, why don’t you?”

That said, when the band deviate from their typical sound, that’s where the album really shines. Part of the Band is an artsy, string-tinged and quietly understated track, with some impressive lyrical gymnastics, whilst All I Need To Hearis a stripped-back and classic-sounding love song that is carried by Matty Healy’s poetic songwriting and the raw, live production.

Supposedly the working title for Being Funny In A Foreign Language was The 1975 At Their Very Best, and whilst the jury is still out on that, it is another excellent addition to their discography and one of my 30 favourite albums of the year.

Best tracks: Happiness, All I Need To Hear, The 1975

Listen here

29. Cheat Codes by Danger Mouse & Black Thought

Sometimes you look at a collaboration on paper and think “Man, that sounds amazing.” Then you listen to it and its somehow even better than you expected.

That exact thing happened to me earlier this year when I saw musician and producer Danger Mouse had teamed up with Black Thought, the lead MC of legendary hip hop collective The Roots. Based on that combination I went into the first play of their collaborative project thinking it would be great, but despite the high expectations I still came away thinking it was one of the best hip hop records of the year.

Across the album’s snappy 38-minute runtime, Danger Mouse chairs the artfully produced beats that simply shine with vintage soul, funk and psychedelia, whilst Black Thought spins his smooth, old-school flow with exquisite delivery. As if the combination of those two wasn’t enough either, Cheat Codes is littered with glittering guest spots from the likes of Michael Kiwanuka, Run The Jewels, A$AP Rocky, Raekwon and even the late-great MF Doom. With those classic 70s sounds and so many modern greats operating at the top of their game, it’s a record that feels instantly timeless.

Best tracks: Aquamarine, Belize, The Darkest Part

Listen here

28. Heart Under by Just Mustard

I had some incredible musical discoveries in 2022, but without a doubt one of my favourites has been Just Mustard. Here is what I had to say about their breathtakingly innovative second album back in May:

““This is just a piece of wood with some metal strings attached – you can do whatever you want with it.” If you have never heard the music of Irish quintet Just Mustard before, then this philosophy from guitarist Mete Kalyoncuoglu may offer some early insight into just how they operate. Although they are at their core a traditional five-piece, their distinctive brand of experimental shoegaze sounds like it is being conducted and transmitted by a grand, brooding orchestra from a fantasy realm. It’s dark, otherworldly, and quite frequently brilliant.

Having established themselves off the back of their ultra-raw 2018 debut Wednesday, this sophomore effort from Just Mustard sees them further push the sonic boundaries of their instruments, whilst also bringing in renowned producer David Wrench to further finesse their ambitious soundscapes. Fuelled by lockdown frustrations, artistic struggles and personal grief, the result is an emotional and hugely impressive second outing that firmly builds on the foundations laid by its predecessor.”

Best tracks: Mirrors, Still, Early

Read my full review for Gigwise here

Listen here

27. Autofiction by Suede

Suede have been steadily aging like a fine wine ever since their reformation twelve years ago and in 2022, they even served up one of their finest projects so far in the form of their outstanding ninth studio album, Autofiction.

Where Night Thoughts and The Blue Hour wrapped their anthemic alt-rock in string-tinged majesty, Autofiction brings things back down to basics. It is both a harken back to their early sound to please old school fans, but also a refreshing step forward for those who have followed their comeback journey. Here they harness that raw energy they had in the beginning, but channel it through their naturally more polished musicianship, gained from their now 30+ years in the business.

Most importantly though, every song on here is as good as the last, making it one of their strongest and most consistent records to date. From the opening buzz of lead single She Still Leads Me On, the angsty stomp of the punk-influenced Personality Disorder, the spiralling riffs of The Only Way I Can Love You and Brett Anderson’s falsetto crooning amidst menacing guitars on That Boy On The Stage, it’s just an utterly spellbinding listen from start to finish.

Best tracks: That Boy On The Stage, What Am I Without You, She Still Leads Me On

Listen here

26. Dawn of the Freak by The Haunted Youth

During Album of the Year season, I like to ask the Music Twitter community on some of their favourite records of the year, so that I can hopefully catch up on any gems that I might’ve missed. One suggestion from Twitter pal @TarikThirteen was this debut album from Belgian singer-songwriter Joachim Liebens, better known by his alias The Haunted Youth. Now Tarik’s music suggestions are usually exceptional, but even I was surprised at the treasure trove I found when I hit play on The Haunted Youth’s mesmerising debut.

Belgium is clearly the place right now for evocative dream-pop, with one of my regular favourites Oscar & The Wolf also hailing from the region and producing a similar vibe. However, there are also some additional elements to The Haunted Youth’s music that make it unique, with welcome hints of shoegaze, emo and 80s style synthwave thrown in for good measure.

The biggest compliment I can give this album is that the songs are just spectacular and there is literally not a second spared across the album’s 43-minute runtime – everything you would want from an artist’s debut outing. Track 4 Gone is also one of the songs of the year for me, a glorious 7-minute epic that brings together a beautifully hazy blend of shimmering synths and glistening guitars that’ll quickly whisk you away to audio heaven.

I am honestly so happy that this album reached me through word of mouth, as despite it only coming out at the start of November I’ve already played it several times over and, as you can see, its instantly become one of my favourites of the year.

Best tracks: Gone, Shadows, Coming Home

Listen here

25. Fear of the Dawn / Entering Heaven Alive by Jack White

Music’s chief mad scientist Jack White truly spoiled us all in 2022, gifting not one but two brilliant new solo albums. A definitive split between them, Entering Heaven Alive contained his more acoustic bluesy cuts whilst Fear of the Dawn boasted his more experimental rock tracks. Impressively, both served up some of his most inspiring work to date.

Fear of the Dawn arrived first, the sound of a frenzied genius keeping himself entertained during lockdown by making whatever sound he damn well pleased. Here, Jack is still playing around and pushing the limits of his blues rock sound, but this time around it is more of a controlled chaos. Where previous effort Boarding House Reach would have you smiling in bemusement at the crazy sounds you were hearing, Fear of the Dawn will have moshing out with your jaw on the floor, as Jack throws humungous riffs and all kinds of playful studio tricks at your ears.

Lead single Taking Me Back is the perfect opener, with some scintillating distorted guitar, buzzy synthesizers, and all of Jack White’s signature swagger. From that point onwards, the album only gets stranger in the best way possible with the rhythmic funk-rock groove of Into The Twilight, the chainsaw-like riffs of What’s The Trick and the brilliantly batshit Q-Tip collaboration, Hi-De-Ho, all standing out. 

Now where Fear of the Dawn is the boundary pushing rock record built mostly on thunderous electric guitars, Entering Heaven Alive is a more acoustic, timeless-sounding affair. As a result, it can’t quite match the full-throttle excitement of Fear of the Dawn, but there are still plenty of gems to be found in this collection as well. Lead single Love Is Selfish remains classic Jack White, again tapping into the most timeless and heartfelt nature of his song writing. I’ve Got You Surrounded (With My Love) is another big highlight, based around some jazzy piano and a stinging central guitar riff, harking back to his White Stripes days. Then If I Die Tomorrow rocks up with a wonderfully cinematic slice of modern Americana to deliver the undisputed highlight of both albums for me.

I am yet to decide whether this pair are my favourite Jack White solo efforts to date, but I do know that both are endlessly fun and invigorating projects. Strap in and you will be glued to your headphones, admiring all the mind-melting guitar work and astonishing sonic wonderment on display.

Fear Of The Dawn - Best tracks: What’s The Trick, Taking Me Back, Fear of the Dawn

Entering Heaven Alive - Best tracks: If I Die Tomorrow, Love Is Selfish, All Along The Way

Listen to Fear of the Dawn here

Listen to Entering Heaven Alive here

24. We’ve Been Going About This All Wrong by Sharon Van Etten

You had to know that if anyone was going to harness the darkness that surrounds a lockdown record and turn it into something quite hauntingly beautiful, it was going to be singer-songwriter Sharon Van Etten. Fuelled by not just the pandemic but also her own experiences escaping the ferocious Californian wildfires, Van Etten’s sixth album is one forged out of anxiety, uncertainty and despondency.

Opener Darkness Fades is the perfect tone-setter, with Van Etten’s ethereal vocals transcendently gliding across the song’s minimal acoustic backing. Elsewhere, I’ll Try is a shimmering multi-layered pop track, whilst the rumbling bluesy instrumentation of Anything sees Van Etten ironically pouring her heart into the song’s refrain which describes numbed feelings. Headspace however is my clear favourite, a glorious synth-soaked track built around a heartbreakingly affecting chorus of “Baby, don’t turn your back to me.” 

This is undoubtedly another remarkable work from Van Etten, an album that astounds and moves both powerfully and frequently. Although we’ve had a lot of lockdown albums by this point, this one could be a late contender for one of the very best.

Best tracks: Headspace, Darkness Fades, Anything

Listen here

23. It’s Almost Dry by Pusha T

From his early days in Clipse with No Malice through to his solo career and iconic guest spots, King Push has rarely put a foot wrong with his output. His 2022 effort, It’s Almost Dry, was no different.

With both Ye and Pharrell Williams on production duties this time around, along with Push himself on top form hitting out some of the best bars of his career, this album really is exceptional. Channelling that same swagger unlocked on Daytona, Pusha’s provocative bars about the brutal drug trade have never sounded so cutting yet so fresh and vibrant, as they are placed up against a collection of quite brilliant soul samples. With the added star power from Pharrell’s production and guest features from the likes of Jay-Z, Kid Cudi, Lil Uzi Vert and Don Toliver, It’s Almost Dry improves in every way on his already superb previous outing.

In terms of highlights there are plenty, with Brambleton, Let The Smokers Shine The Coupes and Dreamin of The Past possibly the best opening trio you’ll hear on any hip hop record this year. Singles Diet Coke and Hear Me Clearly still stand firm, and there’s even a reunion for Clipse on the brilliant closer, I Pray For You.

Overall if you’re a fan of Pusha, Daytona or just hip-hop in general, I guarantee you’re going to enjoy this one. In a year absolutely stacked with excellent rap records, this is one of the best.

Best tracks: Diet Coke, Dreamin Of The Past, Brambleton

Listen here

22. While Your Heart’s Still Beating by Kyla La Grange

To come back with a new album eight long years after her last full-length release, having basically been retired from music is one thing - but to come back better than ever before is another. Not every artist could do it, but that is exactly what synthpop sensation Kyla La Grange did in 2022.

Finally emerging from amidst her impressive horticultural projects (fun fact - La Grange was also nominated for the Gardener's World People's Choice Award this year), her brilliant third album While Your Heart’s Still Beating sees Kyla pick up exactly where she left off. Building on the success of 2014’s Cut Your Teeth, there’s more ambitious sonic exploration, more mature songwriting and a wider perspective that ensures the record hits you deep in all those feels. 

The album fittingly begins with her excellent single Neverland - a wonderful, dreamy slice of synth-pop that sees Kyla sing of her desire to not grow up too quickly. It’s a great opener that makes way for the aptly-titled Something Special, a track that wouldn’t sound out of place on the Drive soundtrack with it’s minimal, pulsating synth backing. Nurture was then one of my standout tracks of the first few months of 2022 and it has remained a favourite all year. A deeply intimate, autobiographical track where Kyla presents “a storybook of relationships, from childhood to adulthood”, it really underscores her talent for emotive songwriting.

Elsewhere on the record, you’ll likely be swept away by the atmospheric, slow-trance pulse of Were We Ever, as well as Kyla’s completely unique cover of 90s dance classic, Set You Free by N-Trance. On her version, Kyla takes the rave standard and morphs it into an ambient guitar-driven track. Led by her gorgeous otherworldly vocals, the song steadily builds before erupting into a swell of instrumentation during the final minute. Dare I say it? Yes I do – it’s even better than the original.

So, if you’re a fan of artists like Kate Bush, Bats For Lashes or even Florence & The Machine and haven’t got round to listening to this one yet, spare yourself 30 minutes over the festive period and definitely give this album a spin. She may have been gone a little while but Kyla more than makes up for lost time, delivering a stunning and mightily intoxicating listen from beginning to end. Cut Your Teeth was a special record, but While Your Heart’s Still Beating is the spectacular and faultless career-rebirth that somehow manages to top it.

Best tracks: Nurture, Neverland, Were We Ever

Listen here

21. EBM by Editors

In 2022, I learned there is nothing better than seeing one of your favourite bands attempt an ambitious sonic direction change and not only stick the landing but also deliver one of the best albums of their entire discography in the process. EBM set me alight back in September and has continued to bring me immense joy ever since – here’s what I said in my original review:

“Despite making a career out of these sonic-shifts, EBM feels like a big and bold step into the unknown unlike any they’ve taken previously. The main catalyst for this has been the addition of Benjamin John Power into the fold, better known by his alias of Blanck Mass. The Ivor Novello-winning composer first worked with Editors on 2019’s Blanck Mass Sessions, which was essentially a reimagined and reworked version of their sixth album Violence. Once the pandemic struck, Benjamin and the band continued swapping ideas, eventually forging the colossal blend of synth-pop, alt-rock and spiraling electronica that makes up their new album.

Also co-produced by Blanck Mass, who has since been announced as a full-time member of the band going forward, the result is an astonishing first chapter for this new iteration of Editors. On EBM, the band sound more vibrant, energized and wildly ambitious than ever before, adding colourful new layers to their traditionally sombre, brooding sound. The creative partnership between them really feels like a match made in heaven, with Benjamin able to pull the band into fascinating new dimensions sonically as they lyrically tackle broken Britain, strained relationships and indeed the global pandemic.

EBM marks the start of a thrilling new era for Editors, with Blanck Mass helping them to forge a dazzling electronic epic that also lays down some exciting building blocks for future releases. Now twenty years into their career, it’s refreshing to see the band continue to be daring, trying these new ideas and still not putting a foot wrong.”

Best tracks: Strawberry Lemonade, Heart Attack, Picturesque

Read my full review for HeadStuff here

Listen here

This weekend - Top EPs, Gigs and AOTY Honourable Mentions, all before the daily countdown of My Top 20 Albums of the Year begins on Sunday!

[emwritesstuff]

housesitting | bucky barnes x reader

summary: Housesitting for Steve Rogers has many perks. The man has the comfiest bed you’ve ever slept in; his coffee machine is top tier; and he also pays for every single streaming service you could think of, because he doesn’t wanna miss anything.

You can hardly see how Bucky Barnes stumbling into his apartment at 3 am with multiple wounds is one of them. But I guess it might be?

notes: this is my attempt at a more ~comedy centered one-shot, with some making out in the middle because uh, who doesn’t like that? In other news, reader is Chaotic. Canon mcu (Infinity War/Endgame) is non-existent in this.  (word count: 3K)

warnings: language, mentions of blood, gunshot wounds, general patching up shenanigans, some making out/grinding but not quite third base

[PART 2: breaking and entering]

Housesitting for Steve Rogers has many perks. The man has the comfiest bed you’ve ever slept in; his coffee machine is top tier; and he also pays for every single streaming service you could think of, because he doesn’t wanna miss anything. An old popsicle thing, you assume.

It’s peaceful, too. The neighborhood is nice and quiet, the other tenants are either extremely polite or too scared of Captain America to make much noise. You’ve had very nice stay-cations at his place, where you were free to choose to binge The Office while eating an entire pizza in the spam of 2 episodes or taking advantage of the quiet to write your grad-school thesis.

So when a loud BANG almost makes you drop your coffee mug on the floor, your spidey senses are immediately on alert. You don’t care how many times Peter insisted that it wasn’t a thing, your arm hairs stood up and your heart started hammering on your chest all the same.

You contemplate squeezing under the bed, turning off the show that was long abandoned and hiding until whatever it is goes away, but before you can do any of that, a string of sharp cursing and soft thumps and thuds snaps you out of your fear.

Maybe it’s a burglar. You could take a clumsy burglar, easy.

Now feeling like Tony had just welcomed you into the Avengers, you hop off Steve’s bed and let your baby Yoda socked feet carry you stealthily into the living room, holding a table lamp as if it was a baseball bat.

Everything is quiet, with no signs of forced entry at the door (you remember someone on Law and Order using those words), and in the dark you don’t notice the bloody trail coming from the kitchen.

You’re imagining things, then. When was the last time you slept? You don’t even feel tired, but you know sleep deprivation always gets you all kinds of crazy.

It happens the second your arm falls to your side and your posture shows the slight of relaxation. A strong arm around your neck and a hand against your mouth to muffle the screaming.

In the quiet of Steve’s apartment building, there is only you shrieking and howling and thrashing against the hold of a stranger.

“Don’t fuckin’ move.” You still.

And then you bite into the hand that is muting you, immediately regretting it when your teeth sink into something hard. Metal? Concrete? Ouch. You resume your resistance, determined, and is shoved away.

“Who the fuck are you?”

“Who the fuck are you.” His voice is gruff and dulled over the mask he is wearing, and as you’re taking this giant of a man in, you notice it.

The metal arm. The strapped leather jacket. The tortured blue eyes.

Winter Soldier.

The intruder is James “Bucky” Barnes, Steve’s best friend. That’s who the fuck it is.

“I’m Steve’s house sitter! I even have a key.” You say, with arms in front of you to signal no harm but inching closer to the table lamp with every step.

“House…sitter? Where’s Steve?”

“Who knows. Maybe a mission. He texts me, I come over.” You shrug, and put a chair back to where it was before it got knocked over.

“I don’t believe you. Where is Steve?”

“Listen, I don’t know, okay? I guess he’s just out for a few days. I don’t ask. He just lets me stay in here so I can water the plants and feed the Avengers.”

“The– the what?”

“The Avengers! The fish, see.” You point to the aquarium, where a handful of colorful fish swam peacefully in.

Peace. So much for your peace, because now what you have is a surly super soldier eyeing the fish tank like it was the most loathsome thing in the entire universe, except maybe for you.

“I hate this thing. Naming them makes it even worse.” He trudges back to the kitchen, stomping on the floor like he was on a parade.

So much for the other people’s peace, too.

“Hey! Sir. In case you haven’t noticed, it’s 3 in the fucking morning?” You sass, putting your hands on your hips when he retorts that yeah, he does know. “What are you even doing here?”

“Back from a mission.” He grumbles without looking at you, as if you’re the one who stumbled into his place in the middle of the night.

It wasn’t your place, but still.

“Don’t you have a house?” There’s a part of you that knows pushing the Winter Soldier’s buttons is asking for trouble, but your tired and confused brain decides to ignore it.

“You interrogating me? I need a motherfucking– ” He wheezes and nearly doubles over, holding on the door frame between the living room and the kitchen. You finally spot the blood, both on the tiles and seeping out of the Soldier’s jacket and pants.

He’s hurt. Shit.

“– first aid kit.”

“You need a motherfucking hospital!” You shrill, panic chilling your bones. You don’t do blood. Or any kind of wound, for that matter.

The man ignores you, opening up cabinets hastily. You huff, and walk past him to get to the actual home of the first aid kit. Steve’s oldest, closest friend and can’t even find a box with pharmaceutical supplies in his kitchen. You slam it on the counter next to him.

“You’re welcome.”

“Zip it.”

Just a look from him is enough to render you speechless, and not in the good, butterflies-in-your-stomach kind of way. You’re positive that one swat of that metal arm and you’ll be flying out of the window.

He begins by removing his mask, revealing a handsome face underneath, and you try your best to focus on how dark and menacing it looked while locked in that scowl of his. Then, he unbuckles his jacket and discards it on the floor, it coming to a stop next to your feet.

Oh man, he’s naked. Well, not really, just the incredibly toned, strong and muscular top half of him, but you stare wide-eyed as if he was.

“See somethin’ you like, doll?” He quips, a smirk tugging at the corner of his lips, and you turn your back to him, mostly to hide your own embarrassment.

“No.” You cross your arms resolutely, because you definitely don’t think he’s attractive. He is a rude, grumpy, private-property-invader-bastard. Doll. Yuck.

You hear a rumble come out of his chest. Is he laughing? Shithead. Other noises follow, wheezes, small grunts and the tinkle of metal on the marble counter.

A particular pained grunt makes you turn, and you see Barnes with his body twisted, trying to reach a bloody hole on his back. It would be funny if he wasn’t trying to poke a gunshot.

“Do you need… help?” You ask, against your own will, only to be met with his icy gaze.

“No.”

“Come on, you can’t even reach that.”

Another glare is shot your way, and you quirk your brow up. He did need the help, you think, because aside from the muscles and the sweat making him glisten like a delicious – wait what – glazed donut, the man looked like hell.

“…fine.” He slides a pair of surgical prongs, something you identify in your head as oversized tweezers, and you instantly regret your offer. Pressing an iodine-soaked cotton ball to a wound, sure. But not this.

He turns his back to you without a word, supporting himself on the marble. You think that he’s about to make a dent on the goddamn stone if he keeps holding onto it that hard.

“Ah, fuck. Shit. Fuck. Ugh, it’s so gross. Fuck.”

It’s the most horrifying thing you’ve ever done, but you try your best to get to the bullet quickly, so very thankful that Barnes holds himself perfectly still for you. “Got it!”

He lets out a long breath when you toss the prongs and the bullet on the counter with the rest and resumes his cleanup. So, he’s not even going to say thanks. Great.

You try not to think about how you still want to make conversation while you hurriedly scrub the blood from your hands, because aside from the hostility and him jumping on you as a meet-cute, the guy peeks your interest.

Steve has said Barnes is nice, too, and you believed Steve, because he’s basically incapable of lying. Or maybe because he’s pretty. Both, for sure.

With your hands now clean, you turn to him, mouth open with some kind of conversation starter that is immediately forgotten.

Oh man, he’s naked. For real this time.

Bucky Barnes has stepped out of his pants while you were overthinking by the sink, now standing in only a pair of black boxers. It’s like he feels you staring at his butt, because he turns to you with raised eyebrows.

“Last one’s on my thigh. I got it.” He’s holding the prongs this time, and you’re glad you don’t have to do anything, because your face next to that groin might make you go into spontaneous combustion.

“Yeah.”

He hums. You hope all of this is a fever dream.

“Isn’t there a med bay at–”

“Don’t like people prodding and pokin’ at me.” His comment makes you grimace. He’s the Winter Soldier, damn it. You know the stories, everyone does. Of course he doesn’t like being prodded.

He looks at you funny, probably because you went dead quiet. You don’t want him to think you feel pity, because you don’t, but god don’t you feel bad for poking him now, even if verbally.

“I’m gonna – grab one of Steve’s – uh. Dude you need to put some clothes on. Jesus.”

He laughs at you again, which you’re thankful for because anything is better than the awkwardness of the other subject. You pick up a black pair of sweatpants that was so deep in one of Steve’s drawers that you know he’d have to have bought it and never had the guts to put it on. This one would do just fine.

If there is one thing Steve Rogers isn’t, is a black sweats guy.

“Here.” You deposit the sweats and a white tee on the counter, one of the millions that you found inside the closet. Barnes was patching himself up now, bandages wrapped everywhere on his body.

Got his ass kicked good. You shudder when you imagine the state of the other guy.

He eyes the clothes, and saying nothing, returns to his task. “You’re welcome, by the way.”

“I didn’t ask you to help me.”

“Yeah, but I did anyways! ‘Cause I’m stupid, I guess.” You almost hurl a dirty plate at him when he scoffs, muttering a yeah, guess you are. “God, why are you so grumpy?”

“Well you try being shot 5 times and see how cheerful you are after.”

“You got shot 5 times?!”

Looking at you from between his brows, the Soldier nods to the five mangled bullets sitting on the counter. You think about how you’ve made yourself a sandwich just hours earlier on the exact same spot. You want to puke.

Taking time to look around yourself, you can finally grasp the state of Steve’s ever-so-pristine kitchen, now a mess of dirty clothes, blood and your own few dishes from the night before. You don’t even think about what you’re doing as you move, gathering every single cleaning supply you can find, and start working on the cleanup.

You’re struggling, because obviously you’ve never done this before. Anyone can tell, from your soft abdomen and your severe lack of muscle, that you’re not an Avenger. Sure, you work with them, but you’re usually neck deep into advanced tech, not in the gym by any means. Also, you don’t do blood.

That means you have to think about something else, anything else, while you’re manically cleaning the floor. One sheep, two sheep, three sheep, the Winter Soldier’s tight ass, four sheep, get it together goddamnit –

“Leave it. I’ll clean.”

You huff, he huffs back, and you look up at him.

“You got shot five times. Go sit down or something before you blow your back too, grandpa.” You call him that to assure yourself that he is old, like actually super old, and thirsting over him is weird. Even weirder when he’s all bandaged and bleeding. And still shirtless. Shit.

He mumbles something that you ignore, and stomps off. You think you actually did a pretty decent job with the cleaning, considering.

You need coffee. Definitely an entire bottle of vodka too, but there was no alcohol in this god’s good home, so you settle for the brew that you made earlier. You pour a mug for Barnes too, because you’re nice like that, and amble into the living room to find him slumped on a chair.

“Coffee?” You start, settling his mug on the table next to him.

“It’s almost 5 a.m.”

“Guess I’m up early for once. Maybe I should go for a run.”

He snorts, and opens one eye to inspect you from where he is. He reaches out for the coffee, using his metal hand, and you consider the two ways this could go.

He’d shatter the mug right then and there. Or, he’d throw it at you. Your jaw goes slack at what he actually does, sirens blaring loudly in your head. Truly astonishing, the most bewildering turn of events.

He drinks from it.

“Thanks. Quit staring at me.”

“Wow, Mr. Winter knows the magic words. Mr. Barnes. Sergeant?” You’re thinking aloud, abandoning any trace of sanity you’ve been holding. You even sit on the couch next to his armchair.

“It’s Bucky,”

Again, absolutely bewildering. You must be going insane.

“– and you talk too much.” He finishes, with an end-of-story tone, and returns to his rest. At least that felt like normality.

“Bucky. Bucky.” You roll the name on your tongue, feeling a weird buzz start to take over you. It grows stronger when you notice he’s looking at you, one brow quirked as if you lost your marbles. “You know, Bucky, this is definitely not how I saw my night going. Home invasion, playing surgeon – not my usual kind of fun.”

You get up, maybe because you decide that you – and Bucky – need a blanket, or maybe because you need a distraction from his chest going up and down like it’s got a business with making you want to touch it.

You’re not a slut, but who knows? Jim Halper would get it.

“You’re that kid, aren’t you? Stark’s assistant.” Bucky’s voice, low and husky, makes you jump. You look at him, your eyebrows furrowed slightly.

It’s surprising that he knows you, considering. He’s – well, he’s basically a celebrity, if ex-assassins could be considered that. You’re only Tony’s techie, and you and Bucky have never actually met, not even in the few parties you had attended to stop your boss from nagging you that you had to actually go out and have some fun sometimes, because you’re still young and cute and you need to enjoy yourself before you get saggy and bitter.

Jokes on him, you were born bitter.

“I’m no kid.”

“Nice socks.”

You wiggle your toes and it makes the ears of one of the baby Yodas move.

“Still not a kid! If you wanna be sad and wear your sad, plain socks, Bucky, that’s entirely your choice.” You said, pointing your index at him, making circles in the air with it to really get your point across.

Bucky smirks, and you go up to him with the two blankets on your arms. He’s blocking the door with that bulky body of his, and you raise your eyebrows quizzically.

“I’ll have you know – meeting Steve’s annoying, mouthy, pretty house sitter is not how I saw my night going either.” Bucky puts a doubtful tone on house sitter, as if he still doesn’t get exactly what it means.

You blink. You’re positive you heard it wrong. Is he… is this flirting?

“You think I’m pretty?”

“I called you annoying and mouthy too.”

“Yeah, I mean I know that much about me.” You chuckle, rolling your eyes. “The pretty part is new though.”

Bucky still hasn’t moved from the doorframe, and you find yourself staring up at him. He is inches away now, pupils blown wide in the darkness, and you can see a ring of steely blue around them. He licks his lips, and you’re drawn in.

The maelstrom in his eyes sends you spinning.

“I think someone should say you’re not see through, much less–”

Bucky shuts you up by pressing his lips onto yours, a slow, exploratory kiss, the tenderest he’s been all night. His metal hand rests on your lower back, making you shiver at the cool touch.

You’re all panting and eagerness when you cup his face with both hands and press your body against his. You need to deepen this kiss. You haven’t drooled over Bucky Barnes all night to keep things lovey-dovey.

He responds in earnest, pulling you closer. The flesh hand on the back of your neck is a stark contrast against the chill of the other. You and Bucky stumble from the corridor and back to the living room, knocking over a few of Steve’s decorations in the process.

“I don’t feel as bad for this one.” You mumble against his lips, stopping to look at a particular framed picture of Captain America in uniform, surrounded by every single counterfeit Cap in Times Square.

“S’ one of his favorites.”

You nod, you’re aware. Steve thinks it’s the most hilarious thing ever.

Bucky’s breath tickles the hairs on your neck when he continues.

“I hate it.”

“Yeah.”

You capture his lips again, and you two resume your chaotic redecorating. You’re thankful for Bucky’s strong arms keeping you from falling over, because at this point you’re not sure if your legs work anymore.

He takes you with him when he drops down on the same armchair from earlier, and the dizzy spell you find yourself in is broken when you hear him groan.

Right. He’s battered up and stuff.

“Shit, Bucky, I’m sorry–”

“No.” He pulls you close again, and guides your body to straddle one of his thighs. “Stay right here, doll.”

Doll. God-fucking-damnit.

His hand moves under the elastic band of your pants, oh my god you’re making out with Bucky-Hot-Piece-Of-Ass-Barnes in your wiener dog pajama bottoms, and finds the hem of your underwear. He pulls on it, and you yelp when he lets it snap against your side.

He laughs, and you vibrate along with his chest.

You find yourself grinding on his leg, sucking on his bottom lip, raking your nails along his shoulders, doing anything, everything for more, trying to burn the taste and the feel of him on your memory. He moves on to kiss your neck and you sigh, tugging on his hair and making sure you’re holding on for dear life.

Your eyes flutter open, enough to see the fish Avengers in their tank.

The Avengers.

Steve Rogers is an Avenger. So is Bucky, technically.

You’re making out with Bucky. One of his hands is on your boob.

This is Steve’s apartment.

You manage to sober you up enough, despite Bucky’s constant attacks of open mouth kisses and bites on your neck.

“I don’t think Steve would – if we–” You lift your head begrudgingly to look at him. “You know, on his armchair.”

“Right.” He didn’t seem convinced, but his hand moved up from your butt to your waist again.

Steve Rogers was probably miles away right now and still cockblocking you.

Even worse, his furniture was cockblocking you.

Stupid star-spangled IKEA shopper.

And his hot best friend. Who’s currently smiling at you in a such a way that makes you almost abandon all comradery towards Rogers and the sanctity of his place.

You debate getting up, but resign yourself to burying your nose in the crook of Bucky’s neck and just staying there, because honestly, when are you going to have the chance to do this again. Never, that’s when.

Also, he’s surprisingly comfortable for someone with a metal arm and such a jacked-up body.

“You’re sleepy.”

“No, I’m like, super awake.”

It’s a lie, because now that the sparks have flown and the rush of blood in your ears gave way to the quietness of the early morning, you feel yourself drifting, on and off, surprising yourself when you come to once and find that Bucky is still there, warm under you.

“Sleep, doll. I need it too.”

You shift, ready to let his rhythmic breathing lull you to sleep. The last 75 sleepless hours catch up with you.

“Bucky? If you want to break into someone’s house again sometime – I have a first aid kit too. Just sayin’.”

[ghost-like-pale]

fuckin' perv

info: some gross guy thinks you're his, sapnap thinks otherwise. 》 female clothing/anatomy, they/them pronouns 》 irl + romantic 》 1.4k words

warnings: (sexual) harassment and assault, physical fighting, hurt/comfort, swearing

a/n: ty for the support on my last piece ♡ please enjoy

this blog it meant as a way of coping with trauma/mental issues, please don't report it. if you don't want to see what i write, please just block me.

——♤——

the evening sun shone an orange glow over the city. the chatter of the citizens rang through the streets past all the tall buildings, the cars and taxis making their way to their patron's destinations and the smell of your favorite restaurants wafted past the pavement. you've grown up in the city, getting used to it, yet never getting bored.

all of these memories made you think about your boyfriend; he was a real country boy - born and raised in texas and everything. it never failed to bring a smile to your face whenever he pointed out a particularly tall office or a pretty neon 'open' sign.

something he's never been very fond of is the people. specifically older men. they always had a certain look on their face as you walked by, making him swing an arm around your hip or slipping a hand in your pocket. he's always been quite protective over his lover. you didn't mind, though.

—

there wasn't much time to reminisce on your loverboy right now - you were going to see him today! your car broke the day before, so with great displeasure you had to take the bus. you hated public transport. everyone was so close to each other, the air was stuffy and there was always someone to make you horribly uncomfortable.

you pulled your mask further over your nose when you reached the stop. the small space was bordered by plastic panels and a poster for some music event, nothing of interest. the sound coming from your earbuds made your foot tap the the rhythm until the bus finally emerged from the passing traffic.

the ride was peaceful, which made you strangely wary - like a calm moment before the storm. you didn't mind the busride being quiet, but the feeling never shook.

after waving at the busdriver and thanking him kindly, you hopped off the vehicle onto the concrete pavement. three other people walked out with you; and old couple, one holding a walker and a 20-something year old man. the clicking of his tongue grew impatient as he got stuck behind the couple. after a moment the two elders managed to get off the bus safely and the man could finally get to his stop.

you didn't pay them any mind, you wanted to see sapnap as soon as possible. you kept walking at a brisk pace, growing more exited with every step. after passing and crossing a few streets you started to feel uneasy. feeling eyes drilling right through your back, you rummaged in your bag and pulled out a small handheld mirror and lip gloss. as you were applying your gloss you glanced behind you, scanning the faces you could catch from within you peripheral vision.

you were surprised to see the impatient man from the bus stop a few feet behind you. now realizing the situation, you hastily stuff everything back into your bag and start walking again, this time quicker than before. the stabbing look didn't shake, however.

you were getting more anxious as it got darker and the crowds became scarce. the destination was on the edge of the city, where there was nothing other than small stores and the occasional crappy apartment building. the pavement was easy to see if you looked down; no polished dress shoes, no sneakers, no stilettos, nothing. just the occasional group of chatting teenagers passing by or an overworked retail worker walking home.

with every frantic step forward he seemed to get one step closer. the sound of your feet tapping on the floor came to a halt as you arrived at a crosswalk with a red light. the man hummed an unorganized tune and stood behind you and casually waited for the light to turn green. everytime you'd move, so would he. the brief moment waiting in front of the crosswalk felt like centuries.

—

ding. the pole emitted a bright green and you sighed in relief. you rushed over to the other side of the street, making sure not to hit someone on the way there. as you were moving along you suddenly felt a hand on your back, slowly gliding down over your-

"what are you doing?!"

the panic in your voice didn't phase the man, though he did take his hand off your lower half and placed it on your neck instead. he slowly backed you into a small alleyway while muttering a response.

"calm down, cutie. it's just a hand."

you slapped his hand off yourself, losing the hope you had when you realized you were the only one with him on this block.

"let me go, you creep!"

this response to his 'compliment' didn't please him; he harshly grabbed you by the roots of your hair and pushed you against the cold brick wall of a corner store.

"listen here, bitch. you're gonna listen to me real good, and you're gonna obey everything i tell you, understood?"

you whimpered in pain, shutting your eyes and tears dipping at your chin.

"understood?!"

with another yank at your hair you mewled and nodded hastily. this seemed to satisfy him.

"good. now, let's have some fun, shall we?"

his hand rested on your thigh and gradually made its way up, under your skirt until it hit your underwear. the other was around your wrists, holding them both with his larger hands to the side of your head. his feet trapped yours, putting his weight on your toes so you wouldn't kick him.

"ngh-!"

"heh, can't handle stimulation, can you? guess this will be more fun than i imagined- ugh!"

the man was knocked back harshly, the hand that connected with his face quickly retreating to the body it belonged to. sapnap. the man felt his jaw, there was blood dripping off his lip.

"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING TO THEM?!"

sapnap boomed in anger at the man. before he could even think of an answer he was hit again by the same hand. sapnap was now right next to you, him seeing your trembling figure in his peripheral vision. once he was sure that gross excuse of a person was going to stay down he turned to you.

his entire body language changed; his arms turning from tense limbs into a welcoming place to rest in, his chest forming into a warm pillow to fall into, his eyes from a slaughtering rage into a kind and sympathetic expression. your tears were already flowing as you sank into his embrace. he engulfed you completely, shielding you from everything and anyone, soothing the intense fear and horror you just experienced.

"you're okay now, baby. i got you, i got you."

his tone was smooth like honey, the words pulling you further in his secure clutch. the screaming must've attracted a few people, because before you knew it your hug was interrupted by him gently loosening his grasp and lowering his voice.

"we should get home, we don't want this hellhole to become a exhibition. here-"

he unwrapped his arms and pulled his grey hoodie over his head and handed the clothing article to you.

"wear this, baby."

you accepted his hoodie and threw it over your upper body. when you were finished sapnap grabbed your hand and guided you out the alleyway and turning a corner. his car was parked a little further.

"i wanted to give you a nice ride through the outer city, but i think you'd rather be home, am i right?"

you nodded. your face was stung by the wet streaks on your face with the cooling air hitting your features. you eventually reached the car, sapnap sitting down into the driver's position and you plopping down onto the passenger seat.

—

the soft revving of the car's engine made for a nice background noise as you drove over to sapnap's house. you reached the destination quicker than expected. time didn't feel like it was passing at this point.

your legs refused to move, even when sapnap opened the door for you. sapnap, understanding the situation, picked you up bridal-style and carried you and your bag out the vehicle.

—

your body was weak, both from the late hours of the night and your vivid memory of what happened about half an hour ago. the mattress sank next to you as you snuggled further under the covers. sapnap radiated warmth, making you move your body towards him and latching onto him like a koala.

"rest, angel. we'll talk about it in the morning."

his voice reverberated in his chest, the vibrations bringing you comfort. his hand found a good spot on the top of your head, lightly pushing it into him.

"good night, (y/n)."

you hummed as a response before passing out. sapnapchuckled at your cute resting face.

"sleep well, baby. you deserve it."

—

thank you for reading. please don't be too harsh on me, heh

masterlist

[olderthannetfic]

I have a real stupid question/challenge for you, if you want. (you can also tell me to shoo, i won't be mad lmao)

I have a friend who insists that I'll fall in love with BTS if I give them a chance, based on the fact that I love montero and lemonade. they don't listen when I tell them that 1) just cuz I appreciate a few beautifully-crafted, pop-flavored hip-hop albums, doesn't mean that I now like pop; and 2) I have a raging hate-on for manufactured boy bands that dates back to the new kids on the block era. I'm not mad about them anymore, just can't find it in my limited attention span to engage with manufactured pop groups, even when they're quite good in every measurable way.

I've listened to the big singles and they didn't hook me. i appreciate what they're doing, but it just doesn't appeal to me. 🤷

so, I guess my question to you is, do you know any good BTS songs that might change my mind? anything bluesy or reminiscent of old-school 80s rap? any super 90s throwback tracks? idk, I'm doing my best to be open minded :|

--

BTS has a massive discography, and I dislike plenty of individual songs. I guarantee there's at least one song you'll find tolerable, though whether you'll become a BTS fan is another story.

I have little patience for New Kids, though I do like some bouncy dance music. BTS have a pretty high degree of artistic freedom, considering everything. The packaging is slick. The inside is considerably less hollow than usual. If you've been listening to their recent English-language hits... uh... they have their good points, but I really don't think those are representative of BTS overall—except insofar as they represent their intense desire to win a Grammy.

I'm not great at telling what's like what, so IDK which of their songs best fit your criteria necessarily, but I'll pick a few for you to try. As a listener, I'll think some hip hop sounds familiar, but it's only when I see other people's reviews that I understand what era it's reminding me of. (TBH, what I personally did was make a spreadsheet of everything they'd done, including random soundtrack songs and solo work and just try everything in order.)

--

I might start with the BTS rappers' solo work. Try RM's second mixtape, mono. I like listening to this as soothing background music at night.

Suga goes by Agust D as a solo artist. His song 'Agust D' is one of my favorites. The lyrics to many of their songs are quite clever too, though of course, as a non-Korean speaker, I have to rely on other people's explanation. (The basic content here is "I may be an idol, but I'm still twice the rapper you are".)

J-Hope tends to sound kind of... well... goofy. I like his voice in Baseline.

He did cover Chicken Noodle Soup, which is certainly old, but I don't actually like the original version of that song.

The Cyphers are great: Cypher Pt. 2, Cypher Pt. 3, Cypher Pt. 4.

To get a sense of their wordplay and why it's cool, check out this video where a Korean guy explains Ddaeng.

--

If you want to know who they think their influences are, they outline a bunch of them in Hip Hop Lover.

Dionysus is one of their big showstoppers that I like a lot better than, say, Permission to Dance.

Louder Than Bombs is a favorite of mine.

--

I'm not usually super into the vocalists-only songs, but maybe you'd enjoy some of them. Some people find House of Cards bluesy. Not sure how much I agree.

--

I guess a couple of their older albums are considered particularly oldschool, though maybe that's because of that ultimate scourge of old albums the skit. (Kill it with fire!) Also, I like a lot of the sound, but their fashion at the time, gaaaaah! You can see some images of the full horror on this lyric video to We Are Bulletproof Pt. 2. I like N.O a lot and Satoori Rap. That latter celebrates regional dialects, which is neat.

And one of their better-known songs and one of my personal favorites is Baepsae, an anthem of youthful discontent that makes use of a Korean saying and turns it on its head.

--

And hey, if you loathe all that, you can go listen to Tiger JK as a palate cleanser. RM features on a couple of his songs like MFBTY's Buckubucku and Timeless off of Drunken Tiger X.

[drabbles-mc]

Whoever Broke Your Heart

Angel Reyes x Reader

Song request from @bishopslosawife: the song is Whoever Broke Your Heart by Murphy Elmore. When I do song fics I tend to just write a story based around the song, I don’t usually include lyrics or anything. Hope that’s okay!

Warnings: language, mentions of past toxic relationships, a good old bar fight, protective Angel comin’ in hot

Word Count: 2.2k

A/N: When I listened to the song and the prompt, I definitely pictured Angel a little more than any of the other guys. Love seeing him get a little hot-headed and protective. Hope y’all enjoy!

Angel Taglist: @mayans-sauce​ @helli4nthus​ @angelreyesgirl​ @starrynite7114​ @queenbeered​ @sincerelyasomebody​ @sadeyesgf​ @thesandbeneathmytoes​ @appropriate-writers-name​ @tomhardydallasstarsgirl​ @multiyfandomgirl40​ @sillygoose6969​ @beardburnsupersoldiers​ @louisianalady​ @gemini0410​ @paintballkid711​ @chibsytelford​ @yourwonkywriter​

You laughed as Angel wrapped his arms around your waist. He was standing behind your bar stool, pressing playful kisses against your neck and cheek. You reached behind you and gently rested your hand on the side of his face, reveling in the feeling of his hands on your hips.

It was one of the rare nights when the two of you went out with your friends. Normally you hung out with him and the guys at the clubhouse, and that was fine, but if you really wanted to go out and dance, you could usually convince Angel to come with you and your little crew. He’d never been good at saying no to you. Plus, you could tell that he liked being around when all of you went out because he kept his eye out for any creeps trying to make moves on any of you. Angel might’ve been your boyfriend, but he’d gone to bat for nearly every one of your friends at one point or another, defending them from belligerent drunks and shitty exes. Sometimes you worried that he’d get tired of it, but he always told you it was nice to feel purposeful, especially when he was one of the only guys in the group.

“I’m gonna step out for a smoke, querida,” he kissed your cheek, “Come with me?”

You nodded, hopping down off the barstool, “Of course.”

You were walking in front of him, giggling to yourself as you felt his hands reach out and slap your ass lightly. You turned around to him quickly, flashing him a smile before slipping out the door of the club. The air felt cold and fresh, and you took a deep breath before leaning back against the side of the building the two of you had just come out of. Angel pulled a pack of cigarettes out of his kutte. You shook your head no when he offered you one, content to just be with him away from the noise for a few minutes before you dove back into it.

Angel was looking at you, a smile plastered on his face as he let out a puff of smoke. You felt your face get hot for a moment, “What?”

“Nothin’. You’re beautiful.”

You smiled, shaking your head with a laugh, “You’re beautiful.”

He rested one hand onto your hip, “Nah, I mean it. I could look at you all day for the rest of my life and never get tired of it.”

You felt your heart swell inside your chest as you looked at him. Angel had never hesitated on telling you everything that came to his mind, and it was one of the things that you loved the most about him. He wasn’t afraid to be a little sappy with you and it went a long way after what your past relationships had put your through.

He saw the wheels turning in your mind and smiled, “Wanna bail and go home?”

You laughed, shaking your head, “No, no. I’m good, I promise. I just…it’s nice to hear that stuff sometimes.”

He snubbed his cigarette out on the ground before stepping in closer to you, cupping your face in his hands, “I’ll make sure you hear it every day.”

There was a brief moment when you wanted to tell him that you changed your mind and were totally okay with bailing and going home, but you stopped yourself. You hadn’t gone out with your friends in a while and you didn’t want to bail on them just because you were feeling extra lovey over your boyfriend. The two of you took a couple more minutes to stay outside of the chaos, and finally Angel tugged you along back inside to rejoin everyone.

He didn’t particularly like dancing—he’d told you that on more than one occasion. But he’d let you drag him out onto the dancefloor when you went to the club because he knew how much you enjoyed it. He also knew that whoever you had been with before kept you on an impossibly tight leash and you hadn’t been allowed to do much without your ex looking over your shoulder waiting for you to slip up. You hadn’t mentioned it to him at first, so when you would get upset and defensive over things, he didn’t quite understand it. But one day you broke down, not able to try and push it down anymore. From that point on Angel started going a little extra out of his way to be reassuring, and to let you know that you never had to defend yourself to him. He never wanted you to be nervous to talk to him about anything, but especially not things as simple as wanting to go out with your girlfriends for the night.

He was pressed right up against you, hands on your hips as the two of you danced to the music. Despite the music and the noise, you could still hear him clear as day when he leaned down next to your ear, “I love you.”

You smiled up at him, “I love you too.”

“Would a beautiful woman like you let me buy her a drink?”

You laughed, nodding, “I suppose, since you seem like such a gentleman.”

The two of you made your way back to the bar. You kept your fingers lightly entwined with Angel’s so that you wouldn’t lose him in the busyness of the club.  He managed to find you a free barstool to sit on and you gladly took it, happy to be off your feet for a few minutes.

Angel stepped away to flag down the bartender. You watched him, a smile spreading across your face. You were too busy gazing at him to notice who else had shown up and was now standing in front of you, waiting to gain your attention.

“Didn’t expect to see you here,” he finally said. Chills shot down your spine and you turned your head. He smiled at you and it almost seemed genuine, “Long time since I’ve seen you. How’ve you been?”

Every fiber of your being was telling you to get the hell out of the club. No good would come of talking to him. Your answer was short, your tone cold, “Fine.”

“Let me buy you a drink.”

“Someone already is,” you were angry but you still felt a lump forming in the back of your throat. You thought you had outrun these demons.

He cocked one eyebrow, “Really? I doubt that.”

Your heart dropped into your stomach. You had no idea what exactly it was about him that made him able to make you question everything about yourself, and your life, but you hated it. You hated him. Your mind raced to try and find the right words to say to get yourself out of the situation, to make him go away, but you couldn’t.

Angel reappeared, a beer bottle in one hand and a drink for you in the other. He saw the look on your face and his smile instantly dropped. He looked at the man standing in front of you, knowing that he was the reason for your expression but not quite knowing why.

He set your drink down on the surface of the bar and stood next to you, facing your ex, “Who the fuck are you?”

The man stepped back slightly, taking in the intimidating image that Angel easily put off, “I should be asking you that question.”

Angel scoffed, stepped completely in front of you and blocked you from the sightline of your ex, “I’m her fucking boyfriend.”

He laughed, shaking his head, “Figures,” he peered around Angel to look at you, “let go of me and your standards, huh?”

The realization of who he was hit Angel like a freight train. He shoved the man backwards, “Get the fuck away from her.”

He laughed, “What are you gonna do about it?”

Before Angel could do anything too stupid you reached forward and grabbed the beer bottle out of his hands. Starting a brawl was bad enough but the last thing you needed was him cracking someone’s skull with a glass bottle.

It didn’t do enough to defuse the situation. Angel got up in his face, towering over him, “I don’t give a fuck who you think you are. Get out of here now before you regret it.”

“You’re gonna make me regret it, biker boy?” he eyed Angel’s kutte.

Angel was too protective and hot-headed to back down. He shoved the man again, and when he tried to step back to him, Angel caught him on the jaw with a clean right hook. You gasped, although you couldn’t say that the reaction surprised you all the much. Your ex stumbled backwards, hand coming up to nurse his jaw.

Angel was ready to swing again when the bouncer showed up and got in between them. He leaned in close to Angel, “You can’t do this in here. Take this shit outside, Angel. I don’t want to have to kick you out of here.”

Angel nodded, still not taking his eyes off of your ex, “Yea, got it,” he stepped around the bouncer and pushed your ex towards the door, “Let’s fucking go,” he looked back at you, “Stay here, Y/N.”

“Angel, don’t—”

He cut you off, “Stay here.”

You were gnawing at the inside of your lip as you watched the two of them head towards the door of the club. Your ex might’ve been able to intimidate you, but Angel was an entirely different story. You’ve never seen him back down from anything and you had a feeling that he wasn’t going to start tonight.

Angel pushed him out the door of the club onto the sidewalk, “Stay the fuck away from her.”

He chuckled, “What’re you gonna do about it? Send your gang to come and get me?”

“I don’t need anyone else to handle this, believe me,” he grabbed the collar of the man’s shirt, “Don’t even think about looking at her or talking to her ever again.”

“You can’t tell me what to fucking do.”

Angel shook his head slowly. He released the grip on the man’s shirt, and as soon as his hands were free he cocked his arm back and punched him again, slicing the man’s lip open. He dropped to the ground and within seconds Angel was on top of him. Your ex tried to shell up and protect his face, but it didn’t do him much good.

You stepped out onto the sidewalk, instantly running over when you saw what was going on. You grabbed Angel’s shoulders and tried to pull him back, “Angel! Angel, stop!” you pulled back as hard as you could, “He’s not worth it!”

He allowed you to pull him back, leaving your ex in a heap on the sidewalk. You pulled his face so that he was looking at you, “What the fuck are you thinking?”

“I’m thinkin’ that that fuckin—” he couldn’t finish his sentence as he shook his head and glared at the man who was slowly rising from the pile Angel had left him in, “He broke your heart, Y/N. He hurt you. He doesn’t get to get away with that.”

You cupped one side of his face in your hand, knowing that all he could think about was all the lasting damage that that man had caused you, all the pain you had to work through to be able to trust someone again. You sighed as you traced your fingers down through his beard, “He’s a piece of shit, for sure, but he’s not worth getting arrested over. Let him go.”

Angel turned back to your ex, who was trying to wipe away the blood trickling out of the cuts on his face, “I don’t ever wanna fuckin’ see you again,” he gave him one last shove, “Get outta my sight.”

You chuckled to yourself, shaking your head as your ex stumbled away and Angel walked back over to you. You looked over his face, smiling at the fact that he got out of all of that unscathed.

You sighed, “Feel better?”

“He’s a fuckin’ idiot, Y/N.”

You laughed, “Yea, that’s why I don’t want you going to jail over him. You’re on thin ice as it is, Reyes,” you smiled as you shook your head.

“No, I mean, he’s an idiot for doing what he did to you,” he pulled you closer by the beltloops of your shorts, “I’ll never understand how he didn’t see the amazing woman that’s standing in front of me right now,” he cupped your face in his hands, “I love you.”

You placed your hands on his, feeling that his knuckles were still damp with blood, “I love you too.”

“It’s never gonna be like that again, you know that, right?” he waited for you to meet his eyes, “I’m never gonna be like that.”

You nodded, “I know.”

He leaned down, kissing you softly on the lips, “Good,” he paused, a smile passing over his lips, “Now do you wanna bail and go home?”

You laughed, “Yea, let’s go. Before you bust up someone else’s face.”

He chuckled as he pulled you against his side, “Yea, yea,” he kissed the top of your head, “I’d do it again, you know.”

You smiled, leaning into him, “Yea, I know.”

[whaleofatjme1920]

Aaaaa this is a fic request, where kondraki is with an s/o where they are a normal civilian and is completely oblivious to whatever is going on, until she got curious and snooped around, found out about the foundation and confronted kondraki about it, now he has too make her forget and give her anesthetics and it might lead to some really good angst >:)

‘With All My Love, Kondraki.’

[Dr. Kondraki X F!Reader]

[Warnings: language, angst]

[AN: it's 4.1K words. lots of love and the pacing is weird]

When you first met Benjamin Kondraki, you had never been so confused on how a peach so sweet could be related to a lemon so sour.

“Miss Reader, Miss Reader!” The buzzling little boy at the dining room table began to prod. He jumps excitedly, almost spilling his orange juice as one of his mothers packs her bag up, getting ready for her long work day. She continues to move, currently looking for things she may need when her front door opens, revealing a woman dressed appropriately for the warm summer day.

“Hi Mrs. Wei,” you greet, kicking your shoes off at the door, and placing the keys back into your bag. You notice she’s searching - probably for her car keys.

The black haired woman looks up from her current task and beams. “Reader! I’m so glad you could make it. Thank you so much for coming on such short notice,” she says as she briefly waves at you. “Nia originally had the day off but something went wrong at the lab and she has to go in, and I have to be at the salon today-”

You smile and wave her off, reaching over on the sofa for her car keys. You cross the distance and hold the keys out to her. “Don’t worry about it. I wouldn’t miss spending time with this special little guy for the world,” you chuckle, looking over to the happy little boy as he scarfs up his breakfast. Looks like today was waffles.

Mrs. Wei takes her keys and heads over to her son, pressing her lips to the crown of his head. “You be good for Miss Reader, okay?” She reminds him with a small smile as he happily gazes up at her. “Again, thank you for coming on short notice.”

You wave her off with a small chuckle. “It’s nothing. Have a good day at work.”

Mrs. Wei opens the front door of her house, once again waving to her son before nodding at you. “Nia will text you when she’s coming home. You two have fun,” she says, the door closing after her with a soft click.

Shortly after that as you sit down at the table with Markl, you hear her car come to life and peel out of the driveway. Your attention is now on this special little boy. “So, are you ready for a fun day?” You inquire, pouring yourself a glass of orange juice.

Markl nods, his dark eyes shimmering in the light. “Super ready!” He exclaims with a wide smile.

You can’t help but giggle. “What do you wanna do today?” You hum. “We could go to the beach, or the mall-”

“I wanna go to the park,” he interjects in a way that only five year olds can. “There’s a boy I’m really good friends with and I want to see him again.” Markl begins to rattle off, excitedly telling you about all his adventures only pausing to finish up his food or drink some more orange juice. He’s beaming.

You listen to him with such a large smile, every now and then reminding him to finish. When he’s done, it’s barely 10 in the morning. Markl wanted to watch some TV and then get dressed and ready for the park. He’s a big boy, so you trusted him to get ready by himself without your help - and he’s developing a quick sense of style. Right now, tiaras and t-rexes are all the rage.

In the meantime, you check the weather. Looks like today is going to be a really nice day. “Hey, Markl?”

“Yeah?”

“Which park are we going to in order to see your friend?”

“The one with the really big rocketship,” he calls out.

You hum. Okay, that’s the one by the beach. “Sweetie, you want me to pack a beach bag? Planning on going in the water?”

A slight pause before you can hear the little boy go ‘uh-huh!’

You turn off the TV and begin to pack, quickly moving through some of the rooms for some beach things. Luckily, you already have some of your own beach things in your car. Markl finally comes down the stairs right when you finish packing and you see he’s got a dinosaur swim top on, some shorts, and his favorite flip flops paired with a plastic tiara he won on the last day of school. “Lookin’ good,” you compliment as you glance over the house, once again fishing around for your keys.

Markl beams and hops down the stairs to be at your side. “Time to go?”

“Time to go,” you answer, opening the front door.

Markl practically hops out of your car once you make it to the beach side park. You have to tell him to hold his horses and he pouts for a moment because apparently, his friend is waiting for him. You lean in the backseat and get out the beach bag. “Okay, okay, we can go now,” you say as you sling it over your shoulder. It’s warm, almost impossibly warm. Thank goodness you’re by the sea.

You watch as Markl speeds off towards the giant rocketship, kicking up sand as he does so. He’s calling out for another little boy - “Draven? Where are you?” He calls out.

You watch with curiosity as Markl runs about the playground, moving past the other kids. You tilt your head slightly and take a seat on the bench, watching as Markl runs around.

“There you are!” He finally cries out happily, running up and smacking into another boy similar in height. He’s got curly black hair, much like Markl, but much lighter skin. They instantly wrap arms around each other before running off to play on the giant rocketship.

Smiling, you pull out a book from your bag and begin to read, listening every now and then to the boys as they play. You’re glad Markl has a friend.

The warm summer day begins to tick by and around noon, you hear small steps padding up against the sand to come see you.

“Miss Reader,” Markl starts, peering over your book. “Can we go play in the water?” He asks, eyes akin to that of a puppy.

You bookmark your page and nod before pausing. “Oh, what about Draven? Does his mom say it’s okay?” You ask, not wanting to run off with some other person’s kid.

Markl and Draven share a look at each other before pulling at you. “Let’s go ask!”

You raise your brows and hurriedly get your things together, crossing the sandy playground to the other side where some man sits. He’s got dark black hair, slightly curled, and looks exhausted.

“Daddy, daddy!” Draven calls out, happily bounding up to the man you now recognize as his father. “Can I go play in the water?”

The man raises a brow, looking at his son and the boy he recognizes as his son’s friend. “She gonna be watching you?”

You bristle slightly. ‘She’? You press your lips into a tight line. “You do realize I have a name, right?” You say, resting your hands on your hips.

The man blinks, a huff escaping his lips. “Apologies.” It’s said in such a hollow tone. “I’m Benjamin Kondraki, most people call me by my last name.” He holds his hand out to you.

You narrow your eyes and center yourself. “Reader, Reader Last,” you reply, taking his hand. You put on a smile and then let him go. “I’ll watch Draven,” you say.”

“Don’t you wanna go in the water with them?”

You blink. “I guess?” It was an awfully hot day. Maybe he has a point.

“And you can’t do that while you’re holding all of these things, right?”

You nod.

Kondraki stands up, stretching his limbs before he ruffles his son’s hair, and then Markl’s who laughs loudly and joyously. “I’ll take a seat on the beach, watch your stuff.”

You spent the rest of the day swimming with the two boys, tossing them into the water and playing with them. Markl was happy you were able to play, and Draven was just pleased he was able to go in the water. Normally, Kondraki didn’t let him go in! At one point, Kondraki became the judge over a sandcastle contest between the three of you and Markl ended up winning!

“You did put in good effort,” he said, a sly grin on his lips as you flicked the water droplets off your hand at him. He laughed.

Draven and Markl hugged each other tight, trying hard to spend more time with each other when it’s time to go. Both you and Kondraki struggled to get the boys apart from each other. But, sleepiness from a long day affects even the strongest of bonds and the two were peeled away once the yawning commenced.

“I’m sure I’ll see you soon,” you say over your shoulder as Kondraki rests a tired Draven in his arms.

“Sure,” he hummed. “Have a nice evening.”

You warmly smile, almost displeased he’s not returning the gesture.

What an odd man.

Shortly after coming back to Markl’s place, Nia had texted she’d be home soon and right when you were cuddling with Markl on the couch to a fun movie (he’d insisted on watching Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron).

“You two look like you’ve had an eventful day,” she smiles, kicking off her shoes and getting ready to relax in her home. She brushes her fingers upwards and takes out the hair tie, letting her braids fall down her back.

“We did,” you say as Nia sits down on the couch next to her son, her gentle arms taking him into her arms. “Met Draven’s dad.”

“Konny?” Nia perks up. “He’s a good friend of mine.”

Your eyes widen in surprise. “He is? But he’s such a d-”

Nia laughs, her smile widening. “I know,” she giggles. She brushes her fingers through Markl’s hair. “He’s not a bag guy, promise.”

You roll your eyes and relax against the couch. “Sure.”

Nia only snickers in response.

The next time you see Kondraki is at Markl’s birthday party. And it’s safe to say that this time, you and Kondraki got along just fine. There were a few shifty glances thrown, but ultimately? Ultimately, the two of you sat at the table, had some cake, and poked fun at certain things. He made you laugh, and seeing him with Draven made you admittedly more friendly than you were expecting to be.

“Y’know, you’re not too bad,” you say, a small smile on your lips.

Kondraki chuckles under his breath as he hands you another glass of iced tea. “Should I be offended?” He jokes.

You lightly slap his shoulder and take the tea from him, sipping at it slowly. “Are you a dick to everyone you meet?”

Kondraki laughs this time, it bubbles up from his throat and exits like bubbles. His eyes crinkle slightly. “When am I not like that?” He grins.

“For work?” You hum, eyes shifting to Markl and Draven running around the backyard with other kids. You fail to notice how Kondraki freezes, a slight fear washing over his system before he clears his throat.

“Yeah, for work,” he says, attempting to keep up the light tone.

You sigh slightly in response, that same smile on your lips as you look back over to him. “I get it,” you say. “I can be a bit of a witch too.”

Kondraki playfully rolls his eyes. “Sure, like you have a mean bone in your body.” He takes a long sip at his drink.

“Could always change that if you leant me yours,” you absentmindedly say, not even realizing the implications until Kondraki practically chokes. A heat rises over your cheeks as Kondraki struggles to compose himself. “Oh my gods, I’m so sorry-”

“Don’t be!” He laughs, practically doubled over as your face heats up even more.

You pout and cross your arms over your chest, heart beating like a drum. You rake \your fingers across your face and take in a deep breath.

Kondraki grins wildly as he comes back up, brushing his fingers through his hair, his emerald colored eyes shining in the remaining sunlight. “So, what are you doing next Friday?”

You’ve been dating the man for three years now. A simple Friday date turned into another, and then another, and after that, it was breaking the news to Draven who was more than excited to have you in his life. Now? Now you’re about to make the biggest step in your relationship so far.

“And you’re sure you’re comfortable with this?” Kondraki asks as he rests his arm over your shoulders, looking at your cleared out apartment save for the plethora of brown boxes that litter the room. It looks so empty, and the echoes of both your voices is the clearest reminder. “Because like, I don’t want to force you into-”

You turn your head to the side and press your lips warmly to the corner of Kondraki’s mouth, making him melt into the simple touch. “We’re gonna be just fine,” you begin. “I am going to be just fine. You’ve been asking me this question ever since you first proposed that I move in with you,” you tease as Kondraki shifts, his hands resting warmly on your waist. Your fingers reach up to thread through his dark locks, eyes getting lost in his. “I hate being apart from you,” you murmur into his chest.

Kondraki hums warmly, his lips pressing to the crown of your head as he swats the two of you. “I know, I know,” he murmurs. “I just don’t want you to be overwhelmed or like I’m forcing you, y’know?” He attempts to explain as he averts his gaze for a moment.

You furrow your brows and flash him a knowing smile. “You don’t need to worry about me like you did-” her “it’s nothing. I’m a big girl, I can handle it,” you giggle, once again tilting your head upwards to press your lips to Kondraki’s.

He chuckles deeply, thankful you didn’t mention her name and squeezes you against him. He revels in the feeling of your hearts beating in sync before gently and reluctantly peeling away from you. “C’mon, last of these boxes?”

You grin. “Last of these boxes.”

“Is that the last of it?” You huff, dropping the box onto the living room floor.

Kondraki wipes back the hair that’s fallen over his brow and nods. “Yeah, I think we’re in the clear.” He stretches his arms a bit, then his back, and takes in a few deep breaths. “Who knew such a small apartment could hold so much stuff.”

You chuckle heartily, “I know, right?” You check your watch. “Oh! Your turn to pick up Draven,” you say as Kondraki glances to his own watch, brows shooting up in surprise.

“Shit, you’re right,” he says as he pulls open the front door again. “Be back in a bit, love you,” he says as he rushes out the door.

“Love you too,” you call back, watching as a sly smile spreads onto Kondraki’s lips, listening to the car start off in the distance. You hum as you get to work, already familiar with the house as you begin to move things around.

It’s honestly relatively mindless work considering a good portion of your things have already been moved to the house in preparation for this day. You’re about halfway through getting your clothes into the drawers Kondraki cleared out for you when you hear a ping. Curiosity gets the better of you and you stand up, looking for the pings. Multiple of them. Sounds like an instant messenger go off, but you’ve never heard that type of notification sound before.

You begin to search the room, crouching down and playing an odd sort of “marco polo” with the thing until you check the closet. There, hidden behind piles of out of commission sweaters is a laptop. Weird, how have you never noticed that before, especially with all the times you’ve spent in this specific room? You shake the thought off and begin to move the sweaters aside and grasp for the laptop. It looks new, like, really, really new. There’s no company mark on it either. Silver chrome, in good condition, you raise a brow.

‘Should I really be doing this?’ You ask yourself as you debate on prying open the laptop or not. You bite your lip and sigh before deciding that yes, you’re going to be nosy even if your boyfriend might not appreciate it. You’ve never gone through his things without his permission prior to, and this was just to stop the notifications that kept incessantly going on. You pry open the laptop, pupils constricting slightly with how bright the screen is.

Of course, it’s locked.

Curiously, the little chat bubble is still open, and you’re able to read the correspondence. You read over the names, there’s three. Gears, Bright, and Clef. Must be coworkers? They seem a tad worried.

Gears: You cannot keep spamming him in hopes it will work.

Clef: the hell I can’t?? He needs to get his ass over here

Bright: I’ve tried call him and it’s not working

Bright: which is weird because when was the last time you saw him off his phone

Gears: Dr. Kondraki, you are needed almost immediately.

Dr? You raise a brow and scroll upwards in the chat, hoping to get some type of answer. And it keeps going, hundreds of messages about work and things you’re just barely piecing together. Luckily, there’s a little button that allows you to go all the way to the top - or at least how far the logs go.

What is all of this? Images are sometimes shown about files or strange creatures. How is this even allowed out? Your mind begins to spin.

While you scroll through the chat, you look up things through your phone, whispers of things called ‘SCPs’ and containment procedures, and of course, you find next to nothing. Is this just some elaborate Dungeons and Dragons campaign? Your head is spinning further and further as you go down the rabbit hole.

Apparently, Gears, Bright and Clef need Kondraki for something in regards to SCP 239, and it may or may not break ethics code. The things they’re planning on doing… You’re not sure what to make of it. You’re so immensely confused, head practically tearing apart at the seams when the front door opens and you hear Kondraki step back inside, a long sigh on his lips.

“Reader? You in?” He calls out. “Sorry for coming back so late, Draven’s mom, she uh,” he chuckles uncomfortably under his breath, “Draven’s not gonna be with us this weekend.”

You panic and slam the laptop shut, struggling to get the room back in order as Kondraki makes his way to the bedroom.

“Baby, what are you doing?” He asks, brow raised as he leans in the bedroom doorway, arms slightly crossed.

“I was just putting away my clothes!” You rush out, smiling at him.

“Sure,” he says with a small chuckle. His eyes scan over you before he realizes you’re sitting in front of the closet. His heart begins to sink. “Reader…”

“Konny-”

“How much did you see?”

You bite your lip. “I didn’t see anything,” you say. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Kondraki can practically feel the lie radiating off of you. “What did you see?” He asks again.

You feel shivers running up and down your spine, your heart is constricting. “...What is SCP 239?”

A long sigh leaves Kondraki’s lips, his eyes slowly moving from you to his wardrobe. The top drawer, the one you can’t reach, the one he’s told you is nothing more than a coin holder… It has the amnestics. He blinks a few times, heavily walking over to the bed and plopping down on it. “C’mere, I’ll explain it to you,” he says, patting the space beside him.

You hesitantly stand, hand resting in his.

Kondraki rests his arm around you, pulling you into his side as he begins to weave to you the tale of everything you should have never known. Like the first humans in the garden, you were tempted by the snake and ate of the fruit that should have not been eaten. Knowledge is your damnation.

It’s exhausting, entirely exhausting. The weight of all this knowledge - you can’t help but lay back on the bed and listen to Kondraki’s heart, your eyes feeling heavier and heavier.

“Are you tired?” He asks softly, his nose buried into your hair.

You nod ever so slightly.

“Why don’t you get some sleep?”

You feel tears welling in your eyes as Kondraki’s grip around you tightens. “Are you going to be here when I wake up?”

He hums deeply, lips peppering kisses to the crown of your head. “Of course I will.”

“You promise?”

A slightly prick snaps at the base of your skull.

“Yeah baby, I promise.”

You wake up the next morning with tired eyes and a heavy body. You yawn, stretch, and crack your back, eyes narrowing at the sound. Crisp. With another small yawn, you sit up and look out your window, pleased to see that there’s little to no traffic outside. You wonder if you’ll see Sophie soon. Her fathers would be pleased to have the day off, after all. You reach over for your phone.

10 AM on a Saturday? You briefly panic, wondering if you’re missed any baby sitting appointment with your favorite gal when you see a text from Dylan.

Philip: hey sugar cube, Dylan’s mother cancelled the visit for this weekend. Won’t be needing to watch Sophie this weekend. Have a good one

Came in at 7 AM. You let out a breathy sigh before falling back onto your bed. Thank goodness, you would’ve felt awful for leaving them hanging! You sit back up again, thankful you can spend a Saturday to yourself.

Has work really been that hard? Blank spaces begin to make themselves known in the back of your head, a mosaic that you can’t quite place together, but it’s not blatant. Why would it matter?

You brush off the strange, bubbling thoughts before swinging your legs over the bed, sleepily heading to your kitchen. Same tiny apartment, same shitty walls. You run your fingers over your scalp before finally entering your kitchen. Why does it feel so… strange? You blink the feeling back.

There, on the countertop, is a cup of your favorite breakfast drink. It’s resting on top of a slip of paper in a handwriting that feels so familiar, yet hazy.

You try to bite back the horror that someone was in your apartment when you were asleep but shakily reach out to the note anyways, not realizing that your eyes are beginning to water as a response.

‘Nice to see you’re up, Reader. Always were a late riser. Look, I’m not supposed to be writing this to you, not after what happened, but I know you’re going to be confused to hell and back. Our use of ‘medicine’ can only go so far, and you’re bound to go spotty now, and a few months from now. You’re going to be confused, and you’re going to feel things that you aren’t supposed to because at one point, you really did feel them. When that happens, I need you to call this number - XXX-XXX-XXXX.

You’re really confused now, huh? Wouldn’t expect anything less, you never should’ve found out about this in the first place.

I’m sorry. I’m really, really sorry. For failing to protect you, for taking away so much and not even being allowed to tell you what it is I’ve taken away. Perhaps if that day had gone differently, if I didn’t spend that time talking to her, I would’ve made it back in time to stop you.

You deserve better than this, truly. I wish I could have been that for you, and I’m so, so sorry that it had to come to this. Our protocol is strict, and I couldn’t bear to put you through what I’ve-... Some things are better left unwritten, but just know that it was better this than putting you through what we’d call hell on earth.

I’ve never broken a promise to you, not in the four wonderful years I’ve known you and the three I’ve loved you. I’ve managed to keep them all, but I fear this is the first I will break.

Call the number when things get weird, maybe we'll meet again.

With all my love, Kondraki.’

[trico-cottage]

❀Ghost In Action -BFU Shane x Reader x Ryan (Platonic)-

Pairing: Ryan Bergara x reader (Platonic) Shane Medej x reader (Platonic)

Gn!reader

Warnings: Language, slight innuendo

Word Count: 1,491

"Back to where it all began" Ryan announced to the camera. I stifled a laugh and followed him as he did a dramatic slow walk towards the house. Shane just gave the camera a look and picked up his bag while shaking his head and walking ahead of us.

"We came here as boys, now we return as men.. and woman." Shane added, receiving a look from me as he glanced back at us.

"I'm glad to be back. How's it feel being your first time here Y/N?" Ryan asks, turning to me as I gaze up at the mansion.

"Gotta be honest, not looking very haunted from out here. In fact, it's really just beautiful." I say, turning to face the boys. Shane chuckles and nods. "Yeah, it wasn't very haunted last time we visited, on account of the fact that ghosts aren't real." He adds pointedly.

Ryan rolls his eyes at the tall man and picks up the sleeping bag he had dropped at his feet. Shane and I follow suit and the three of us walk through the doors of the mansion for a dramatic shot.

We all leave our belongings in a room and gather in the living room where the crew is setting up. I pull up a chair while Ryan rustles through his script papers.

After getting the mics and cameras set up, Ryan begins his reading for the history of the house. It was only 3pm, so we had plenty of time to get the narration done before we went hunting for the footage. "This week for the season premier on Buzzfeed Unsolved, we reinvestigate the Winchester Mystery House in San Jose, California, as a part of our ongoing investigation into the question, are ghosts real?" Ryan recites to the cameras, earning the usual shake of the head from Shane. I smile at the camera and turn back to Ryan as he continues with the history of the house.

"Avid fans of the show may remember that this is the site of our first paranormal investigation ever, and tonight, we return to once again tangle with Sarah Winchester and her cast of ghouls. This time stronger, faster, and more prepared with Y/N on our side. And tonight, we're actually gonna sleep here unlike last time." Ryan narrates as Shane and I make faces and gestors at the camera.

"You guys are lucky you brought me, because I brought snacks." I grinned, holding up a small backpack that crinkled as I let it drop the the floor.

"I'll stop by your room for concessions when Ryan's crying wakes me up then." Shane says while clapping his hands together, earning a glare from Ryan.

Upon nightfall, we head into our investigation. "You think you will talk to any ghosts this time? Maybe make some friends?" I tease Ryan as we head down a windowed corridor. "Shut it pip-squeak." He snaps back, shining his flashlight at me. "I'm literally like 2 inches shorter than you. If anyone here is short, is you, bite-sized bitch." I retort while panning my light over his figure.

"Could you two can it? You are both miniatures, no point in fighting about whose smaller." Shane says as he walks between the two of you. "Yeah? Says the walking fucking tree." I say, poking his back and sticking my tongue out at him. "Wow, real original, Shortcake." He scoffs while ruffling my hair. I reply by acting like I was going to bite him, and he laughs and keeps walking.

As we reach a peculiar set of stairs, Ryan tells a bit about them. "This is one of the stranger additions the the house, a set of stairs that leads to absolutely nowhere." Shane butts in "You know, if you walk up those there stairs, you'll find God!" He mocks in a crazy old man voice as I approach the steps. "Let's test it out and see!" I yell as I start dramatically climbing the stairs.

Once I was up as far as I could go, Ryan comments "Oh go on, you can go further than that!" I roll my eyes and turn around, curling up on the top set, squished against the ceiling. "Happy?!" I yell. "Sure am." Ryan says, laughing at my contorted body.

We continue touring the house, stopping to yell at ghosts and listen to Ryan talk about various facts. We eventually reach another door. "More rooms? I swear this house goes on foreverrrr." I whine. "Nope, this is a door you wouldn't want to go through." Ryan comments while tugging it open.

On the other side is a courtyard and a sheer drop. "That wasn't very well planned." Shane quips. I chuckle at him and Ryan just looks disappointed. I ignore them and carefully point my camera down to get a scary shot of the drop.

As I lean forward a bit, one of the boys nudges my back and I struggle to grab the doorframe. I turn and look at them and glare. "Not funny assholes." I growl as they look at me confused. "What are you talking about?" Ryan asks. "I'm talking about whichever one of you just fucking tried to push me." I hiss back. They give each other a look and I shake my head and turn back to the courtyard.

I crouch down to avoid them pushing me out and point my camera back down to finish the shot. As I'm panning my camera up, I get pushed again. This time I wasn't fast enough to grab the frame and I toppled out to the ground below. The boys shout as they and the crew rush out as fast as they can.

When they reach me in the courtyard, one of the crew members calls an ambulance. "Not.. funny." I grumble as I try pushing myself up. With a pained groan, I let myself fall back to the concrete.

Once the ambulance arrives, both the boys frantically ask them questions. The paramedics push them back, letting them know only family is allowed in the vehicle, and they will have to drive to the hospital. Shane convinces them to let him ride with me under the excuse of him "being my boyfriend". Ryan hops into the car and follows the ambulance to the hospital.

After a couple hours, a nurse entered the waiting room and informed the boys that they could come get me to be discharged. They both jumped up and followed her to my room and were greeted by the doctor.

"They have a concussion, fractured hip, a some scrapes and bruising. We got them all patched up. They'll be perfectly fine with some rest, just keep an eye on them." He says and looks up from his clipboard, directing his attention to Shane. "Try to hold off for a few weeks. Maybe more depending on how long the hip takes to heal." He comments, giving Shane a 'dad look' through his glasses.

Shane almost jumps to defend himself, before remembering telling the paramedics that he was my boyfriend. Instead, he just forces down a blush and nods at the doctor. The doctor just chuckles at him and looks back to his clipboard. "It looks like they are safe to leave. Remember to make sure they don't try to walk on their own and keep an eye on them." He says with a smile.

After getting back to my apartment, the boys helped to settle me in my bed. "So we talked to the producers on the way back, and they said we can schedule some time to go back if we need to, but I think we will have enough footage." Ryan explains while helping to grab some pajamas for me to change into. "And I sorted out your medical leave for you so you don't have to worry. I told them it was my fault."

"Wow, thanks for fessing up and telling them the truth." I said sarcastically as I rolled my eyes. Shane is quick to defend Ryan. "It wasn't his fault. Neither of us even touched you. You must have just fallen yourself." I scoff at him with a glare. "Then I'm gonna need to see that footage because you two are a bunch of lying assholes."

Ryan's eyes widen as he realizes. "OH MY GOD WE CAUGHT A FUCKING GHOST ON CAMERA." He yells causing me to cringe and cover my ears from my headache. "That or they are just clumsy as hell." Shane comments, earning another glare from me.

"Can I just get some sleep and have you assholes leave me be?" I half-joke as I reach for some water. "Nah, we've gotta keep an eye on you. Doctor's orders." Shane says cheekily. I throw my pillow at them and they laugh, bidding me goodnight.

Let's just hope they are liars, and I didn't just get pushed out of a door by a ghost.