#also my cat has been acting weird. she gets into sleeping position and hisses. my hypothesis is that its bc of the spicy calamari that were

[tchaikovskym]

I've had lazy autumn just to jump in ITS THE SECOND WEEK OF THE YEAR YOU HAVE TO DO 186469 THINGS FOR WORK AND 789 THINGS FOR SCHOOL AND 4 THINGS FOR ENSURING A NICE WEEKEND TRIP AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

[nightofthemeteor]

Modern AU/Mythology AU

(Also here on AO3)

They were children when they met. They had to have been children, for if they had met as adults, they would have known too much, and their meeting would have been very different.

It happened on an awful, stormy day in early spring, and it began with Hashirama huddled and miserable in a cave. Even at fourteen, Hashirama knew the mountain as well as he knew his own family – he wouldn’t have ventured out this far into the forest if there had been any chance of a storm like this. And yet, despite the season, there was a blizzard raging outside. It was a tengu wind, Hashirama knew; only a tengu wind could rise so suddenly and sting so badly. He was lucky he’d been able to take shelter in this cave, but now he was trapped without warm clothing or the tools to make a fire. Curled into a ball with his arms around his knees, Hashirama had no choice but to wait out the storm, and eventually shivered himself into a fitful sleep.

When he awoke, the cave was dark, and he was wonderfully, deliciously warm. Hashirama wondered for a moment if he’d frozen to death, and this was the moment before his new reincarnation. But, no – he could still feel the rocky floor of the cave where he’d gone to sleep digging uncomfortably into his legs. He was warm because he was wrapped in something, something soft…something that was moving, gently and rhythmically, as if it were breathing. Hashirama reached out a tentative hand and felt soft feathers beneath his fingertips.

His breath caught in his throat. The tengu – for that was what the creature curled around Hashirama had to be – shifted around him with a whisper of feathers. And then, in the darkness, Hashirama found himself staring into a single, glowing red eye.

Hashirama’s insides had turned to ice, but he still retained enough of his wits to remember to be polite. “Hello, Tengu-sama,” he whispered to the eye.

The eye blinked.

Feeling a little encouraged, Hashirama said, “Thank you for protecting me from your storm.”

This got an affronted shuffling of feathers; Hashirama backtracked. “Not your storm?” Another blink – acknowledgement, Hashirama imagined. “Ah, I see. You’re stuck in here, too.” The tengu didn’t react to that, which Hashirama took to mean he’d guessed right. Without thinking, he ran his fingers through the feathers under his hand and was surprised when the tengu leaned against him, like a cat asking for more scratches. “Well,” he said, “Thank you for keeping me company. At least we can wait out the storm together.”

The eye disappeared; the tengu shifted position again, tucking its head back under its wing, or so Hashirama imagined. Hashirama knew he should take this chance and run – tengu were dangerous and unpredictable, wild spirits of the mountains, and there was no telling what this one might do to him – but the blizzard was still howling outside, and at least in here it was warm. Seeing no better option, Hashirama leaned back against his new, feathery companion, closed his eyes, and drifted back to sleep.

When he woke again, the cave was lit with sunlight, and the tengu was gone.

---

Madara wasn’t exactly sure why he bothered to find the human again. He was already sliding dangerously in the direction of his father’s bad side – that blizzard had been a nasty reprimand, with Madara still too young to control his powers well enough to fight back. Now that his flight feathers had grown in, Madara had found he wasn’t terribly interested in the clan politics he was supposed to be learning. His father’s world was full of restrictions: don’t use any of your powers without permission; don’t question your elders; and, most importantly of all, don’t come into contact with humans. And that, perhaps, was why Madara let himself slide out of the shadows of the trees and into view of the young human.

The boy in front of him tensed, reaching instinctively for an arrow; Madara prepared himself to fight, but the human relaxed and lowered his bow. “Tengu-sama,” he said, and smiled.

Madara looked down at himself in confusion. “How did you know?” He’d appeared in human form – had he made a mistake somewhere? But no: his purple robe was a perfectly normal style for a human, and on his head was definitely spiky black hair, not feathers.

The human boy in front of him shrugged. “I don’t know – you just sort of…feel the same?”

“That’s weird,” Madara informed him.

To Madara’s surprise, the boy sighed deeply. “I knew it,” he said, utterly dejected. “I must really be a freak if even a spirit thinks I’m weird.”

“Wait – that’s not what I – ” Madara stuttered to a halt, realizing that the boy wasn’t distraught at all – he was laughing at him from under those bangs. “Hey, what do you mean ‘even a spirit’?!”

The human raised his head to reveal a smug, aggravating smile. “Are you really my age?” he asked cheerfully. “To think I was so scared of you!”

Madara drew on the shadows around him, forming the shape of massive, ever-shifting wings to tower over his back, and let his black human eyes flash red. “You should be afraid of me!” he hissed.

The human’s eyes widened in awe, but to Madara’s chagrin, he watched this show of power without the least sign of fear. “Wow!” he said to the writhing mass of shadow. “What’s your name? Mine’s Hashirama!”

Madara sighed, content for the moment to at least have impressed the human – Hashirama – and let himself shrink back to his still-unfamiliar human form. “You can call me Madara,” he said.

“It’s nice to meet you again, Madara,” said Hashirama, and dipped his head in a clumsy bow.

“Hmph.” Madara crossed his arms, trying not to show that he was pleased. “So, Hashirama, what are you doing this far into the forest?”

“Looking for mushrooms!” Hashirama replied, with more excitement than this answer really warranted. “I know I saw some good ones around here the other day.”

“You’re lucky you’re with a tengu, then. I know this forest better than any human.”

“Oh, is that so!”

As the two of them left to walk together through the forest, neither of them noticed the tiny seedlings that sprung to life in Hashirama’s footsteps.

---

When Hashirama was nineteen, a beautiful young woman with fiery red hair came to his town.

“She’s definitely interested in you,” he was informed by his little brother, Tobirama, with a healthy amount of disdain.

“Can you at least pretend to stay out of my business?” Hashirama snapped back, uncharacteristically annoyed. If he was honest with himself, he had mixed feelings about Tobirama’s analysis. If anyone had asked him half a year ago if he would like a gorgeous woman to mysteriously arrive out of nowhere and fall in love with him, he would have offered his right hand to make it happen – but although Hashirama had always been a bit of a romantic, lately his thoughts on that score had turned in a…different direction.

But that was only half of the problem. Though nobody else had seemed to notice, Hashirama had realized right away that there was something different about the woman calling herself Mito.

“You’re not entirely human, are you?” he asked her, the next time they were alone together. Hashirama had always been in favour of the direct approach.

She stopped in the action of brushing a strand of hair behind his ear, and carefully withdrew her hand, looking at him with sharp, bright eyes. “You’re perceptive,” she said. “I should have anticipated that.”

“I have some experience with shapeshifters,” Hashirama told her, a little ruefully. “But I don’t think I’ve met one like you…?” He made the end of his statement into a question, hoping she would answer.

“Can’t you guess?” she asked playfully. At Hashirama’s flat look, she said, “Come on. A girl can’t give up all her secrets that easily.”

“Are you actually like this?” Hashirama asked. “Or are you trying to seduce me?”

“Er…” for the first time, Mito actually looked a little awkward. “I’ll be honest: I was trying to seduce you.”

“Don’t worry; I’ve heard the stories. Humans are kind of hard to interact with unless you’re giving them something they want, right? I don’t take it personally.”

Mito laughed at that, the light catching in her bright red hair as she did. “You’re a very strange human, Hashirama!”

“I’ve heard that before,” Hashirama replied with amusement. More seriously, he added, “But I don’t understand why you would choose me to seduce. What do you want from me?”

“Like I said, Hashirama: I have to keep my secrets.” Mito looked at him appraisingly, her head cocked to one side. “Let’s just say you have some interesting qualities – for a human.”

“Fine – you don’t have to tell me. But can you drop the whole – ?” Hashirama waved his hands vaguely in her direction, too uncomfortable to actually articulate what he meant; she smirked at him in response. “Whatever you want, you can just ask me, alright? I mean – I’d like to be friends.”

“Alright,” she said, sounding surprised. “Friends it is.”

---

“Kitsune,” Madara spat.

The fox sat back on her haunches and began to unconcernedly wash one of her paws. “Tengu-san,” she replied.

Madara, roosted in the branches above her, hunched his wings threateningly. He was the power in the forests around here, and she could do with a reminder of that. “Stay away from the human boy, Kitsune. He’s mine – understand?”

“Relax, Tengu-san. He already called me on the trick.” She dipped her head at him in sarcastic deference. “He’s all yours for the seducing.”

Madara wasn’t buying it. “What do you want with him?”

The fox cocked her head to one side quizzically. “The same thing you want, I assume? He may be a human, but you must know he has the power of the forest inside him.”

He’d guessed it years ago, of course, but hearing another magical being acknowledge it like that made Madara’s stomach drop. “You feel drawn to him, don’t you?”

“Others will be drawn to him as well, as his power grows stronger. You did well to get in with him early, Tengu-san. Better act fast to lock him down.”

“Kitsune,” Madara called, as she turned to leave. His stomach was in knots now; asking her this would be showing unforgivable weakness, but he might never have another chance to have his suspicions confirmed. “What does it feel like when you’re with him?” he asked. “You said the power of the forest draws you to him. Does it make you feel breathless when he looks at you? Does it…” he swallowed hard. “Does it give you a hollow feeling when you say goodbye to him?”

The fox looked at him in silent surprise for a moment, and then barked out a laugh. “No, Tengu-san, it does not!” she said, laughter in her voice. “I feel a pull towards him, yes, but my heart is still my own. I believe you are in love with him.”

“Oh,” said Madara gruffly. “Er, thanks.”

When the kitsune had gone, he considered his course of action. In any other circumstance, Madara would have done his best to deny his feelings about Hashirama – he’d been managing that successfully for years now, and could probably have sustained it for quite some time. But this was different; now he had competition, and Madara’s nature couldn’t ignore that.

So what if the kitsune was trying to seduce his human? Madara could perform a seduction as well, and he had the advantage of knowledge, thanks to years of friendship with Hashirama. He could win this battle – all it would take was some careful planning and an artful execution.

---

“Where did you find this?” Hashirama exclaimed in delight.

Madara shrugged nonchalantly, his blue-black mane of hair shifting over his shoulders, but Hashirama could tell he was pleased with Hashirama’s reaction. “I told you: I know this forest better than anyone.”

By now, Hashirama knew this wasn’t quite true: he knew the mountain at least as well as his tengu friend, sometimes even better. Even so, Hashirama would be able to equal Madara’s skill at finding far-off treasures of the forest, for the simple reason that Madara could fly. Hashirama cradled the branch Madara had brought him in his hands, admiring the small white flowers with their elegant, delicate petals. “I’ll bet I can graft his onto one of my trees,” he said, already planning how he would do it.

“So…you like it?” Madara asked, a strange edge in his voice.

Hashirama beamed at him. “Of course I do! Thank you, Madara!”

His friend turned a very interesting shade of pink. “Great! Um…good, that’s good.”

Hashirama waited patiently for a further explanation – an account of how he’d stumbled across a wild apricot tree, maybe, or something that had prompted this gift – but when none was forthcoming, he prompted gently, “I didn’t know you were so interested in plants.”

“I am, uh, interested – that is to say, I was thinking…uh…” To Hashirama’s fascination, the tengu was flushing even further. Was this some strange consequence of his shapeshifting? Now a little concerned, Hashirama leaned forwards to get a better look.

“Are you alright?” he asked. Maybe he was overheating? Hashirama laid a hand against Madara’s forehead to check.

“Hgk,” said Madara.

“Hmm, you do feel a little warm,” Hashirama told him. “If you were human, I’d tell you to get some rest, but what about a spirit like you? I have to admit I don’t really know anything about – ”

And then he shut up, because Madara was kissing him. Later, Hashirama would remember how Madara’s hands on his shoulders were trembling a little, and how Madara’s hair felt almost exactly like his feathers had under Hashirama’s fingertips all those years ago. But in the moment, all he could think was why haven’t I done this before?

After just a brief moment, Madara pulled back, his eyes wide and startled. “I didn’t mean for it to happen like that!” he blurted.

Hashirama blinked at him. “What?” was all he could manage to say.

“I’m sorry! I had it all planned out, and then I just…went and…”

He looked so distressed; Hashirama felt the only reasonable response was to reassure him by leaning forwards and kissing him again.

When they parted, Hashirama smiled at him, suddenly feeling shy. “I’m glad you did,” he said.

Madara looked about as thunderstruck as Hashirama felt, but at these words, a slow grin spread across his face. “You mean…you wanted me to do that?”

“Madara, I’ve wanted that for ages!”

“But,” Madara objected, “What about Mito?”

“Mito? Oh! I’m not interested in her like that.”

“Good,” said Madara huffily, “You know she’s only trying to seduce you for your powers, right?”

Up until now, Hashirama had been just barely staying afloat in the rapids of this conversation, but this last question threw him completely. Confused, he pulled a little away from Madara and repeated, “Powers?”

“Yes, the power of the forest! That…you…” Madara trailed off, seeing the expression on Hashirama’s face. “You…didn’t know?”

“No,” Hashirama whispered. He’d been about to deny the possibility that there was anything supernatural about him – he was an ordinary human, had been all his life – but the words evaporated on his tongue. He wasn’t really an ordinary human at all, was he? Sure, his life was ordinary enough, in general: he foraged and hunted in the forest; he tended his garden and grew fruit trees; he did his best to live in peace with the spirits of the mountain. He was just a bit unusually good at finding what he was looking for, at predicting the changing weather and coaxing things to grow. If that talent really did have a magical explanation, then the one truly unusual thing about his life suddenly made a lot of sense: his inexplicable friendship with a tengu.

“Is that why you showed yourself to me?” Hashirama asked, the thick certainty of it beginning to clog his throat. Why else would a tengu, a spirit born from a falling star, show any interest in a human like him?

“No!” Madara protested, vehement at first – but then he paused, considering. “Well – maybe at first, but I didn’t even know about your magic back then. And it has nothing to do with the way I feel about you now!”

These words were meant to reassure him, but instead, an even more horrible thought took root in Hashirama’s mind. If Hashirama had somehow influenced Madara before they’d even met, without either of them realizing it…was it possible he’d made Madara kiss him?

“I think you should go,” he said. Anger at Madara for keeping this secret from him was mixing with guilt at the thought of what he might have unwittingly done to his best friend, making him feel sick to his stomach.

“Hashirama – !”

“Go!” Hashirama shouted.

Madara disappeared in a burst of feathers, leaving Hashirama alone.

---

The wind was howling as fiercely as it had the day they had met, but this time, instead of snow, rain was falling in a deluge that soaked through Madara’s feathers in seconds. In his turmoil, he’d settled on neither bird nor human form, but something in between – he was walking on human legs, but catching the wind of the storm in feathered wings sprouting from his back, and his hands, when he looked at them, had birdlike talons on the end of each finger. He glared furiously at a tree in front of him; a bolt of lighting flashed, and the tree exploded, splinters of wood flying past him in the storm. Madara felt, for a moment, just the tiniest bit of satisfaction before fury and anguish overtook him once again.

Why had he let slip the truth about Hashirama’s powers? No – why hadn’t he told his friend about them sooner? Everything had been going perfectly – not exactly the way Madara had planned, but still, he’d kissed Hashirama! And Hashirama had said he was glad Madara had done it, and had kissed him back! How had things gone so wrong, so quickly? It was all his fault – Hashirama thought he’d lied to him; thought he was using him! Alright, Madara hadn’t told him about his abilities, but it wasn’t like he was trying to win him over just to take advantage of him; not like that kitsune. It wasn’t fair!

As if summoned by Madara’s angry thoughts, a voice reached his ears over the screaming of the wind: “You seem like you’re in quite the state.”

“Kitsune!” Madara bellowed, more than happy to direct his rage at a more tangible target. There was the fox, sitting placidly in a tree despite the fury of the storm around her. “This is your fault! You told me he’d called you on your trick!”

“I didn’t say he knew why I was trying to trick him. I’m afraid this is entirely your fault, Tengu-san. His death will be your fault as well, if you keep wandering around here blowing up trees.”

Madara blinked water from his eyes, fear momentarily taking the place of rage. “What do you mean, his death?”

“The boy doesn’t know the strength of his own powers – he doesn’t even know he’s causing this storm,” said Mito, with pity in her voice. “He’s out wandering around, looking for you on the mountain. I’m afraid – well, you already know what rain like this means.”

Horror seized Madara by the throat. Hashirama knew this mountain better than anyone, better even than him; he knew the danger of flash floods. But if he was really out in the forest looking for Madara – if he was beside himself enough to cause a storm like this, and not even realize it –

“Where is he?” Madara howled.

“Fly northeast,” said the fox, “And hurry.”

Madara launched himself into the air, not bothering to alter his form, knowing his own magic would carry him despite the winds. He fought his way through the storm, trying to feel the familiar tug of the power inside Hashirama calling to the power inside him – but now that he was looking for it, the feel of Hashirama’s magic was everywhere, seething around him. His friend was the one causing the storm, just as Mito had said. Just as Madara was beginning to despair of finding him amidst the frothing treetops, he spotted a familiar white and green robe in a clearing below and dove headfirst towards it.

He crashed into Hashirama at full force, sending both of them sprawling on the ground. Madara, clinging tight to his friend, somehow ended up with Hashirama beneath him, rain falling onto Hashirama’s face; Madara hunched his wings to shield both of them from the storm.

“Wow,” Hashirama breathed. “Look at you. I – I think you have fangs. Why do you have fangs?”

“Why are you out wandering around putting yourself in danger?” Madara shot back.

Hashirama put a hand up to Madara’s face. At his touch, Madara realized he had little feathers sprouting from the skin there as well. “I was looking for you! Mito said you were in danger from the storm I caused.”

“Mito said – she told me you were in danger!”

They stared at each other for a moment, Madara feeling the rain against his wings slow from a deluge to a trickle, until Hashirama suddenly burst out laughing. “I should’ve known,” sighed Madara, over Hashirama’s giggles. “Kitsune are born to play tricks.”

“Madara,” Hashirama said, growing serious again. “She also explained about my powers. I…thought I might have accidentally used them to trick you into liking me, but Mito called me an idiot and told me I don’t have that kind of ability. I’m sorry for yelling at you earlier.”  

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner,” Madara said earnestly. “I really thought you knew.”

“I guess I really am an idiot.”

“I guess so,” said Madara, and leaned down to kiss him. Because of this, neither of them noticed the sun emerge from behind the layers of cloud, or heard the bark of a fox’s laugh from the forest.

There is more to this story, of course, for such an unusual pair as them could hardly manage to lead an ordinary existence. But all the legends and stories they would later come to inhabit began like this: chance and a little bit of trickery, and spirit and human together in the stormy woods.

[consultingsnowqueen]

Wasteland, Baby! Part 3:  We’re a Long Way from Home... Welcome to the Pleasure Dome

Notes:  Ugh, this felt like it took FOREVER.  It’s not my best because I’ve been so stressed with school, but we’re getting to the fun part now.  I am going to stray from canon but I promise I’ll keep it interesting!  I’ll also be making a masterlist as soon as I get time (and as soon as I figure out how), but if you’re new here and you’d like to read previous parts, let me know and I’ll reblog them or send you a link!

Tags:  @ladynuwanda @tribble-from-wonderland

Summary:  After the bombs went off, a few lucky survivors were placed in Outposts. However, an Archangel-in-training and her mentor are hiding out in Outpost 3. Disguised as a Grey and a Purple, they are waiting to investigate Michael Langdon, the Anti-Christ, and hope to bring peace to the world. Things begin to go wrong, however, when Langdon gets a little too attached to the Archangel-in-training.

Maureen spent days dodging Langdon.  Barely anyone saw her besides Angelo, who was obsessively teaching her protection spells and getting her to steal salt rations from the kitchen because “Oh Maureen, they aren’t putting the salt in the cubes and you know that.  Surely they won’t mind us using a bit of the rations for protection!”  Maureen expected Langdon to be a bit more observant about her sudden disappearance, but he didn’t say anything.  Did he even notice?  Angelo had said that he wanted her to be the only Grey to clean his room.  Perhaps that was just all talk?

It wasn’t that Maureen minded.  God, no. She relished in being away from him. Angelo promised to keep watch and contact her only if needed.  Besides, Evie Gallant had taken a liking to Maureen, well at least liking Maureen as much as Evie could like anyone.  None of the Purples could tolerate her ramblings anymore but Evie remained blissfully unaware of this.  When no one else could understand Evie’s wild Hollywood stories of partying with celebrities, Maureen listened carefully and was able to be truthfully enthusiastic.

“Maureen, dear,” Evie began, lounging on her bed in a nightgown. “Did I ever tell you about how I hosted a wonderful dinner party with Elizabeth Taylor?”

Maureen whirled around from the closet she was organizing.

“Seriously?  Elizabeth Taylor?” Maureen exclaimed, laughing in glee and astonishment.  “Do you have pictures in that photo album you brought?”

Evie patted a spot next to her and Maureen practically jumped on the bed next to her.  Beaming at her audience’s captivation, Evie flipped through the photo album and pointed to a picture of a younger Evie with Elizabeth Taylor herself.  Maureen gasped as Evie began flipping through and telling her stories of the fantastic people she met.  It was a weird friendship that the two of them relished in.  Evie thought of Maureen as more of an audience who lived vicariously through her stories.  It was egotistical of her, but Maureen didn’t mind.  It was nice to have one person speak to her and keep things interesting. Evie found Maureen’s knowledge of Golden Hollywood astounding… perhaps a little too good though?  They should’ve known that in this darkened place nothing so pure could withstand the corruption around them.

Angelo and the others were sitting in the library when Coco began to list off reasons why she was a sure choice for the sanctuary.

“You?” Evie scoffed. “Mr. Langdon will have to choose someone with my knowledge.  I can educate the future generation on true culture, elegance, and fashion.”

Coco scoffed at this and jerked her thumb towards Maureen, who was silently dusting.

“What about Maureen? She’s half your age, doesn’t have shriveled up ovaries, and she has all your knowledge.  She’s listened to your stories and she actually knows what you’re talking about enough to respond.  Langdon would be a fool to choose you instead of her.”

Evie gaped at Coco, but her eyes squinted at Maureen, who was now shaking her head in horror.  

“Is that what you’re trying to do?  Get all my valuable knowledge so you can go to the Sanctuary in my place?”

She advanced on Maureen, who held up her hands in surrender.

“No, no.  I swear… that’s not what I want!”

“Nana, stop!” Gallant exclaimed, trying to pull Evie away from Maureen.

“You’re not taking my spot, you bitch!”

Langdon walked in just in time to see Evie Gallant position her sharp, manicured nails as if she were a cat and swipe down Maureen’s face, leaving bloody scratches in their path. Gallant gasped in horror as the realization of what just happened dawned on everyone’s faces.  Langdon looked utterly unmoved until Maureen suddenly burst into tears of humiliation.  She pushed past Gallant and Angelo, both trying to comfort her.  In her hurry, she bumped into Langdon, who raised his eyebrows at her, showing a touch of concern.  She was held in place by his intense stare and stayed completely still as he caressed her bloody cheek.  The trance was broken as Maureen suddenly heard Gallant apologizing over and over. Maureen pushed Langdon’s hand away and continued walking back to her small, cramped dorm.

Angelo was left to comfort Gallant in his suite.

“I can’t say how sorry I am about Mo.  Nana has always been harsh, but I can’t believe she did that to her.”

Angelo rubbed Gallant’s back and shrugged.  “Mo understands.  She’s very empathetic.  Besides, it isn’t your fault.  You can’t control your grandmother.”

“I should’ve never brought her here,” Gallant said, suddenly vicious.  Angelo widened his eyes at this.  Gallant saw his expression and softened, hyper-aware of how this could change Angelo’s opinion of him.  After all, Angelo was a priest.

“God, Angelo.  I’m sorry.  Forget I said that.”

Angelo shook his head. “Don’t be.  You have a right to express your emotions.”

Gallant felt his stomach twist as Angelo smiled at him lazily.  Was it sacrilegious to fantasize about a priest?  Gallant shook his head of that thought and reminded himself that his eye was on Langdon.  After all, Angelo couldn’t grant him salvation.  Gallant flopped back onto his bed after Angelo said good night.  He was woken up by a knock on his door.  Imagine his surprise (and excitement) when Langdon stood there in a full, black rubber suit.

At the same time, Maureen was woken up by knocking.

“Angelo, I’m fine,” she called.  “Go to sleep.”

The knocking persisted, so Maureen got up, touching the scratches across her face with a grimace.

“Angelo, I—”

Maureen was cut off by her own gasp as she looked up.  Langdon was smiling down at her with an expression that was a mix of hiding concern and keeping his own pride.

“Sorry to disappoint you,” he said, hiding some sort of hurt in his tone.

“Oh, Mr. Langdon.  I’m so sorry.  I didn’t think… well… uh…”

Langdon raised an eyebrow as Maureen stammered on.

“May I come in?”

Maureen’s mind was screaming ‘No,’ but her voice squeaked out a “Yes.”  Langdon exhaled and walked in, feeling relief course through him.

“You’ve been avoiding me,” he blurted out.  Maureen cringed at this and felt guilt settle in her stomach in place of fear.  How was she supposed to explain that she was just carrying out orders?  God, if Angelo found out she wasn’t even afraid of him anymore.

“No.  No, that isn’t true.”

Langdon turned and looked at Maureen’s pleading expression.  She could see something different in his eyes.  It was something emotional, something that looked to be hurt.

“But it is, Maureen.”

Maureen swallowed and looked at the ground.

“You don’t have to be afraid of me,” he said, placing an extra emphasis on ‘you.’  Maureen nodded as he walked closer to her, raising a hand and caressing her damaged cheek.  She felt the pain leave and sharply took in a breath when she looked in the mirror behind him to see that the scratches were gone.

“Thank you,” Maureen breathed out, reaching up to touch his hand.

“Do you feel anger towards the woman?  Do you feel anything negative towards her?”

Langdon looked as though he was anticipating something from her, yearning to hear her snap, finally. He wanted to know just how good she was.

“No,” Maureen admitted, truthfully.  She was an angel, after all.

Langdon widened his eyes. He could sense that this was the truth, and he knew she was just too good.  He could feel her purity and light radiating from her.  It was disgusting.  It was heavenly.

He left with no words, dragging his hand slowly out of her touch.  If she thought that encounter was strange and awkward then Gallant bragging about his wild night with Langdon was mortifying and petrifyingly awkward. Angelo was struck speechless with the description of the obscene acts, but Maureen was absolutely terrified. How could Langdon be in two places at once?  She waited until her chores were done until she tried to find Angelo, but then Angelo had to comfort a traumatized Gallant.  It wasn’t until late at night that Maureen finally got Angelo alone.

“That horrible woman reported Gallant for his night with Langdon.  He just got out of being tortured by Venable’s gang,” Angelo hissed when Maureen walked into his suite.

“That wasn’t Langdon!” Maureen exclaimed in horror.

Angelo squinted. “What are you talking about?  It had to have been him!”

Maureen shook her head. “He was with me.”

Angelo was about to speak when a man’s screaming rang through the air.  Maureen and Angelo both bolted out of the room and ran down the hallway to an open door.  Angelo and Maureen both gasped in horror when they saw Evie Gallant’s bed covered in her own blood and Gallant on top of her holding a knife.  He was even covered in blood.

“Angelo… I swear…”

Angelo shook his head slowly.  “What… happened?”

Gallant began sobbing hysterically.  “I saw Langdon in that suit again.  He was here. I meant to stab him to get him away from me, but then… it was Nana.”

Maureen and Angelo both looked at each other.

“Go get cleaned up, Mr. Gallant.  We’ll talk later,” Angelo said, mostly because he needed Maureen alone.  Gallant ran out of the room.

Angelo raised his hand and the door closed and locked with a slam.  He closed his eyes and then opened them, revealing cloudy blue instead of his normal eye color.  Evie’s body was covered in a black mist now and he clicked his tongue in annoyance. Looking over at Maureen, her eyes were the same and the dim light around her shined golden.  Angelo’s large halo was much brighter and as he shook his head, it shimmered.

“Her soul wasn’t meant for Heaven.  Satan’s underlings already claimed it,” he explained as the mist faded.

“I see,” Maureen said, nodding with a grimace.  “Angelo, do you believe Mr. Gallant?”

Angelo nodded. “Yes.  I can sense the presence of a demon.  This was definitely Langdon’s doing.  The man in the rubber suit wasn’t human.  It was a demon sent from Hell to torment the Outpost.  It’s weak, though.  I think we can easily take it down.”

Maureen blinked a few times, leaning toward Angelo.

“What?  You want us to take him down?”

Angelo nodded simply as if it were nothing to him.

“The demon is still lurking around.  If it finds out what we are, it’s over for us, Maureen.”

Maureen thought for a moment and then looked at Evie’s lifeless body.  She held her hand out over it and the blood faded away and the wounds healed.  It wasn’t enough to bring her back, but it was enough to make it look less conspicuous.

“Go tell Gallant we’ll say it’s a heart attack.  I’ll tell Venable,” Maureen said, shaking her head as the light around her dimmed and her eyes returned to normal.

“Meet me in my room. We need to summon Gabriel,” Angelo said, striding out of the room.

After cleaning up the mess and getting Venable and Mead, Maureen made her way back to Angelo’s room. He was kneeling and praying when she walked in, so she locked the door behind her and kneeled beside him, praying. A bright light appeared before them and faded. Standing before them was a tall man in a white suit, pale skin, and neatly styled pale hair.  His bright blue eyes were shining down at them.

“Hello, Gabriel,” Angelo said with a bright smile.  

Gabriel looked around with a grimace.

“Well, this place sucks.”

[whipped-for-kpop-fics]

Protection Squad - Five

5/15

A kind woman offers you a place of work at the animal shelter she owns and one of the animals seems to take a strong liking to you. You thought Suga was just like any other cat you happened to meet in therapy. You realise how wrong you were when he reveals his true self to you in order to do everything he can to prevent anything hurting you ever again.

Pairing- Reader (Y/N) x Suga [or is it… :)) ]

Genre - Shapeshifter!BTS & magic AU

Warning- multiple possible triggers; Mental disorders talked about and portrayed (depression, anxiety , suicidal thoughts and acts) abuse . near death . plus possibly more . If you are uncertain if you can read, privately message me about what you wish to avoid and I’ll tell you if the story contains it.

Protection Squad Masterlist

Shelter Layout

"I'm sure she didn't do it on purpose." Hoseok's positive words did nothing to soothe Yoongi's anger. "I'm sure she just forgot that she's not working today."

"It's Sunday, she never works Sunday, she knows that," Yoongi grumbled, stuffing his hands further into his hoodie pocket as they walked along the path towards the park.

"She also forgets what day it is on a regular basis." Hoseok pointed out with a chuckle as memories of you questioning the day raced through his mind.

"She managed to keep her promise to V, why couldn't she manage to keep her promise to me?! I should be more important!" Yoongi kicked a stone and watched it jump and roll across the grass as they entered the park. Hoseok perked up at the scenery. He always loved the park, it was no doubt related to the dog DNA running through his body. Yoongi, on the other hand, would always much rather curl up on a shelf and sleep due to his cat DNA. The only reason he was out for a walk was that Hoseok had literally picked him up and carried him out of the apartment where he had been sulking angrily since he realised you wouldn't be in for work that day for his promised day of attention. They were already outside by the time Yoongi changed from his cat form, Suga. Hoseok, of course, had let the door shut behind them and Yoongi didn't have a key to let himself in so he reluctantly followed Hoseok away from the shelter. "I'm the one that made her sit down and spill what was upsetting her! I should be her priority!" And then for some reason, Yoongi looked up and he stopped in his tracks. There sitting on a soft blanket, reading a book with headphones on was you.

"What?" Hoseok tilted his head curiously at Yoongi then followed his line of sight to see your familiar figure enjoying your reading. "Y/N!" He gasped, bouncing forward to go talk to you.

"What're you doing?!" Yoongi hissed, pulling Hoseok back roughly.

"Going to say hi!"

"You can't do that! She doesn't know who you are, idiot! As far as she's aware, you're just some annoying dog that puts their ball germs onto her face every day."

"What?!" Hoseok looked at Yoongi. "I don't lick my balls then lick her!"

"She doesn't know that."

"Has she said something to you?!" Hoseok gasped. "I don't want her to think I'm gross like that!" Yoongi just rolled his eyes and didn't answer.

Truth be told, you had never said anything about Hobi and his balls to Yoongi but Hoseok didn't need to know that. If it stopped Hobi licking you, Yoongi would let Hoseok believe that you thought his dog form did such a thing.

"I'm going to go talk to her." Yoongi decided.

"But you just said-"

"I'm not going to tell her I'm Suga." Yoongi scoffed, giving Hoseok a look. "I just...she thinks she's undesirable, that no guy would want to date her. I want her to have some male attention, if only for today."

"Oh, then I should say hi too!"

"No." Yoongi hissed, glaring at his friend who frowned.

"Why not? Surely two guys are better than one."

"No. Just me." Hoseok stared at Yoongi a few seconds, not understanding why his friend was acting that way then suddenly, it hit him and a shit-eating grin stretched his cheeks. "What? Why're you looking at me like that? What? What?"

"You don't want her to like me." Hoseok sang. "You want her to like you only because you liiike her. You have a crush on Y/N!" He teased, jumping around excitedly. Yoongi tried to argue but Hoseok took one look at his red ears and pink cheeks and started to clap happily, dancing around his elder.

"Fuck off. Go home." Yoongi finally spoke, pushing Hoseok away from him and turning his attention back to you. You were still absorbed in your book.

"If you want some alone time, you only have to say so, hyung." Hoseok giggled and before Yoongi could retort, Hoseok was running off, screeching excitedly about how he was going to tell everyone how Yoongi was in love with you. Yoongi grumbled in annoyance and made a mental note to slip chocolate into Hoseok's dinner. Chocolate didn't deal damage to Hoseok like it did dogs as he still had a lot of human DNA but it certainly didn't agree with him. If Hoseok consumed chocolate, he'd spend the rest of the day rushing to the toilet with stomach cramps and minor auditory hallucinations between bathroom visits.

Yoongi gave himself a little bit of time to gather himself before approaching you casually. He wanted to crawl onto the blanket and curl up with his head on your lap, his favourite spot since he first had the honour of perching there, but he knew that would be too weird and you'd freak out. To be fair, anyone would freak out if a stranger did such a thing but Yoongi didn't want to cuddle up to any random stranger. He wanted to cuddle up to you. He'd never admit it to Hoseok or one of the others but, Yoongi had easily grown attached to you. From the first day he met you, he was pulled to you. He tried to ignore it but it lasted all of five minutes until Hobi clambered all over you and Yoongi felt white hot jealously pooling in his chest. Even when Hobi left, his scent was all over your lap so Suga didn't take the spot despite wanting to. Ever since then, whenever the opportunity arose to take the place on your lap, Suga didn't hesitate to claim it, rubbing his scent all over you in a subtle attempt to claim not only your lap but all of you.

By the time Yoongi stood beside your blanket, you were already looking up at him curiously. You had happened to look up and around as he approached and realised he was headed straight for you. He saw the panic settle in your eyes due to a strange man making his way to you but, he also saw curiosity as your gaze travelled up and down his form subtly. Your orbs returned to his face and a slight smile of approval twitched your lips upwards. If he hadn't spent the better part of a month in your shadow, watching your every move and learning all about your habits, he wouldn't have even noticed the minor movement.

When he stopped, you removed your headphones and tilted your head slightly but you said nothing, waiting for him to speak first.

"Uh, hi." He finally spoke after just standing and staring for a good ten seconds. Now that he was right by you, able to communicate, he didn't know what to say. "I'm Yoongi." He thrust his hand towards you.

"Uh...I'm Y/N." You shook his hand after getting up onto your knees to reach. Yoongi had to hold back from making a pleased sound at the feel of your familiar hand touching his own for the first time. He had always wondered how it'd feel but he didn't think he'd get a chance to find out. When your hands parted, you lowered back down, sitting on your feet.

"I'm sorry, I really didn't think this through." He admitted, laughing nervously as he scratched behind his ear, a nervous habit he had developed as a child. "I just saw you sat here and really wanted to come over and introduce myself."

"Oh, okay." You smiled lightly, cheeks tinging pink and nodded, looking away shyly.

"You probably want me to go, I'm probably ruining your reading time. I'm sure your book is much more interesting than I am. Bye-" Just as Yoongi started to turn and walk away, you spoke up.

"It's about feline diet." You announced. Yoongi looked back at you curiously so you lifted the book to show him the cover. A cat's diet.

"Oh." His lips turned up into a small smile and you smiled back. "You like cats?"

"I do, a lot." Your smile widened and Yoongi couldn't help but smile wider too. "Easily my favourite animal."

"Out of all the animals?" You nodded and he moved closer slightly.

"If I could be any animal, I'd definitely be a cat."

"Why?"

"They have my dream life, just eating, sleeping and lazing around." Yoongi laughed and you grinned. "What about you?"

"Well, those are my three favourite things to go." Your features lit up and you moved back slightly before motioning to the blanket.

"If you want, you can sit." You offered, chewing your bottom lip nervously. Yoongi spotted your fingers fiddling with the book on your lap and he didn't hesitate to sit down, leaving his shoes on the grass beside your own.

You spent three hours sat there with Yoongi, talking about everything and anything, laughing and sharing the snacks you had in your backpack before you left to return home. The only reason you left was that your mum had rung you complaining you were letting your dinner get cold. So Yoongi helped you shake off the blanket and pack it away in your bag. You walked together to the edge of the park where you stood and talked for another twenty minutes, both reluctant to leave the other. Another angry phone call prompted you to say goodbye for real that time.

Yoongi found his cheeks stretched with a joyful gummy smile as he strolled back to the shelter, a small scrap of paper with your phone number scrawled down on it, clutched securely in his hand.

Things are going to start getting good now :))

[lexienicoleambrollins]

Save Me From Myself *Finn Balor Love Story* |Chapter 1|

A/n: To whom it may concern I just thought that everyone should know two things. One Finn will not be in this first chapter, but I promise he’ll be in the next one and number two all thoughts will be in italics.

Warnings: None just a few swears 

Word Count: 2136

Here is the first two parts if you need to catch up

Preface

Alexandra

"Today is going to be a weird day", I thought to myself as I limped down the last two stairs of my house. I had just gotten dressed about thirty minutes ago and was now just coming downstairs because I had to wrap up my ankle. I had fractured it a few weeks ago while practicing for one of my shows and ended up falling off of the makeshift stage. The good thing is that nobody such as fans or paparazzi saw it happen so that meant that you wouldn't have to worry about it being all over the internet, but the bad thing is that it still happened and it hurt like hell. Once I got down the stairs I was greeted by my dog Winter and her smiling face.

Winter is a black and white Siberian husky with white eyes and she's like my keeper whenever I'm not well. "Hey, girl how are you", I said petting her on the head. Her smile grew even bigger and she wagged her tail. I limped past her and sorta threw myself onto my sectional couch in the living room and turned on the TV. I looked down at my phone to check the time and also see if I had any missed calls.

You see the thing is I was supposed to be taking a tour of the WWE Performance Center today with my cousin Sabrina

and her boyfriend Colby (aka Seth Rollins)

{A/N: To those who read my Seth Rollins story His Queenslayer this isn't a spoiler. They aren't dating, but they're so close that it fools everyone. To those who haven't read it but are fans of Seth please feel free to, but that's only if you want to} and I was super excited. We would be getting to see some of the newer stars or I guess you could say the stars of tomorrow and also Rae (Sabrina's nickname) was gonna show me where I could rehab my ankle. I'm not sure how I was gonna feel about that because I didn't want to seem like a damsel in distress whenever I did something that was going to make me feel uncomfortable for a bit. Not only that, but we were going to go to a promo class and honestly I felt slightly offended. Was she trying to say that I couldn't talk, or was she just doing it just to do it?

       I had already done this stuff years ago in OVW {A/N: Ohio Valley Wrestling which used to be a territory for WWE} and I'm pretty sure that if I wasn't good at it that I wouldn't have been a multiple time champion. I worked my ass off to earn everything I'd ever done with no silver spoon from my uncle. My parents raised me to be one tough SOB mostly my mom though because she never wanted people to think "Oh she's Vince's niece that's why she gets title shots". So hopefully this promo class was just one of Sabrina's spontaneous acts... or I was gonna cause a scene. In all honesty, I wanted to slap her, but that was just Sabrina.

She loved to be spontaneous and just randomly throw things at you (not literally...unless you were Enzo Amore. Man, she strongly disliked Enzo and I didn't even know who the hell he was. All I knew is that she couldn't stand the boy. According to Colby, I'd understand when I finally met him). If you wanted a surprise party call, Sabrina, you get set up on a blind date with someone you like, but are too afraid to ask out more than likely Sabrina had something to do with it, you wanted to do something at the last minute Sabrina was your girl to do it with you, and if you want to be volunteered into something that you have no say so in really...look no further than Sabrina.

I, on the other hand, was the total opposite of that. I was the introvert who knew how to hide it behind a don't look at me, don't speak to me, don't even breathe near me attitude. So basically I was a badass who wasn't that bad once you broke down her walls. Honestly, I wasn't always a big fan of Sabrina doing this kind of thing. So when Colby who is and isn't my best friend told me that Sabrina randomly signed us up to take a promo class I was beyond pissed.

Of course to my dismay, I had to be the "professional one" which meant that I put on my fakest smile and acted so happy about being told the news. Unfortunately, on the inside, I felt like wanting to strangle her. As a matter of fact, I pictured her being a Barbie doll and just popping her head off. You wanna know why I pictured her as a Barbie? It's simple everyone knows that when Barbie's head goes bye, bye there's usually no way to fix it.

There were so many questions were swirling around in my mind and I didn't know how to take it. Not to mention she wanted me to meet someone there and I wasn't sure why. It's not that I didn't like meeting new people (I mean I didn't really because I was super shy which is hard to believe, but it's just part of life)...it's just that I didn't like being put into awkward situations which I felt she was going to do. It was weird just thinking about the whole thing because for someone who was dating Colby... (I think) she sure did sing this guy's praises. I could cringe just thinking about the things she would say about the guy.

He's a prince, he's hot, he's got pretty eyes, he's not that much taller than you, did I mention he's gorgeous. The list could go on for literally hours and honestly if I didn't have a clue I'd say she was trying to sale the guy or something. Like seriously let me be the judge for myself and why did it feel like she was trying to set me up on a date. I hated that kind of thing and she knew it. It just seemed like she was going to make me hate the dude before I ever met him and of course, Colby was never any help he'd join in on the fun.

I had a feeling that I was going to punch one or both of them during the car ride and I didn't know why. I was mindlessly running through channels when all of a sudden I heard my cat Prince hiss and growl which meant that someone was there that he didn't like or didn't feel safe around. Prince was always like a protector to me and he usually liked everyone, but sometimes he'd hiss at people that would walk by or on his property {A/n: This technically has nothing to do with the story, but my cat actually does that to males who walk by our house that he doesn't know and it's hilarious}. It was kind of funny and sad at the same time because he scared the mailman once and for some reason didn't like Colby. According to Colby, I made Prince hate him which is an obvious lie because if that was true my dogs would've been after him as well and they seemed to adore him.

My Rough Collie Adonis especially adored him...he adored Colby so much that he got excited on him once or twice. I heard car doors open and shut and voices as well which caused me to mute the television that was currently on an episode of SpongeBob. "I'm not going all the way up there her cat is already making noises at me", one of the voices said. The voice sounded like Colby and if it was he was right Prince was making noises at him. "How would you know that he's making noises at you?

The window is shut so for all you know Prince could be saying hello", the other voice said. The second voice sounded like Sabrina, but I didn't feel like getting up to answer the door plus she had said that she was going to call when she had got here which she didn't. "Sabrina I know he's not making friendly noises. I can't prove it because I can't hear him, but I can just see the hatred in his eyes. He hates me and she made him do it", the first voice said.  

Hearing the first voice talk again confirmed that it was Sabrina and Colby which would explain why Prince was currently hissing even more. I'm not sure what Colby ever did him, but there was a strong dislike there and it was kind of funny. I groaned and started to pull myself up from my laying position on the couch and saw both Adonis and Winter standing up to wait for me. I adored those two hell I loved all of my animals just the same because of their amazing personalities. I grabbed my crutches and started to limp over to the door when I heard the doorbell ring.

"Sabrina I swear if I get bit because of you I'm not talking to you for a week", Colby said. "Oh my God Seth get over yourself her cat isn't going to attack you. I mean sure I don't think he likes you very much, but he hasn't ever attacked you has he", Sabrina asked. Sabrina only ever called Colby Seth if they were around anyone in WWE or if she was getting annoyed by him and I'm assuming that he was annoying her. I rolled my eyes while listening to him complain about Prince because honestly, it was getting on my nerves.

Trust me, Colby, if Prince wanted you he would've got you by now. When I was close to the door they ringed the doorbell again. Really can't you give people who are on crutches a moment to get to the god damn door before you start bum rushing? "Shouldn't we have called her like you said we were going to? I mean what if she's still sleeping", Colby asked.

She better not still be asleep. I told her to be up bright and early and to look cute. I want to make sure that she looks perfect whenever she meets Ferg", Sabrina said. What the fuck is a Ferg? "Oh so now we're going by nicknames?

I see how it is Sabrina...now I'm not going to sit with you. I'm sitting in the backseat with my best friend Alexandra", Colby said. I looked at the door and then at the mirror that was near it. Did I really just sale myself out to be part of one of Sabrina's crazy schemes? Also what the hell are those two idiots talking about?

"Fine by me you can run to Alexandra all you want. Also, I'm pretty sure that she's not still sleeping because the blinds are up for Prince to look out. Oh and so you know I didn't feel like calling her have you ever thought of that", Sabrina asked. "Fine, then she's either upstairs or walking really slow. Or maybe just maybe she knows what you're up to and is running away which if she is I wouldn't blame her", Colby said.

Shut up Colby...is what I wanted to say when I finally reached the door, but then I thought about it and started to get suspicious. What is he talking about? What does Sabrina have planned for me? Should I run...is it too late to run and who is Ferg? Going by Colby's words it's a nickname for someone, but who...is he the guy that Sabrina wants me to meet?

Why is it so important? I started to get nervous and my palms felt sweaty. Colby and Sabrina were still fussing outside, but I tuned them out and tried to calm down. It's ok Lex everything is fine there's nothing to be afraid of. I was stilling trying to calm myself down when I heard an unlocking noise which must've meant that Sabrina was using the spare key that I had hidden under a fake rock. She didn't know that I was behind the door so when she opened it, it hit me upside the head and I fell backwards and hit the ground hard.  

To Be Continued in chapter 2 where we'll also meet Finn

If you are interested in reading the Seth Rollins story here is a link

His Queenslayer

[asflowersfade]

Ficlet: Just Bad Luck

A MacGyver fic. By popular - and quite surprising, huh - demand, a sequel to Cornered. Eighteen confirmed kills... It was no one’s fault, just bad luck.

Jack wakes up groggy, aching all over but mostly feeling as if someone kicked him in the chest. Not to be overly dramatic but, Oww?! What the hell happened? It’s not until he tries to move and the dull pain turns into a flaring agony that he remembers.

The abandoned hospital. The terrorists. Mac…!

His eyes fly open and he looks around frantically. A hospital, at the military base from the look of it. How did he get here? How long has it been? Where is--

Jack turns his head to the right and lets out a breath of relief, his racing heart slowing down a little; it’s a wonder that half the personnel didn’t rush in, fearing he suffered a heart attack. He relaxes because there, in the very uncomfortable looking chair by his bed, is Mac, curled up on himself and fast asleep. Keeping watch over him, his bodyguard! Oh, the irony.

Turning onto his side very carefully, mindful of the pain in his chest - he got shot, that much he remembers now, vaguely - Jack gives Mac the once over. The kid looks terrible. He’s bruised and scraped, there’s a big white gauzy patch on his forehead, his arm’s bandaged and the way he’s holding his ribs… Jack frowns, frustrated by his own inability to remember. He’ll have to ask, then.

“Mac,” Jack whispers. “Hey, Mac.”

Mac stirs, blinking slowly - then he jerks awake and sits up straight, immediately hissing in pain, one hand pressed against his ribcage. Squeezing his eyes shut, he breathes in and out slowly.

“Easy there, kiddo,” Jack chides gently. “Not a bad guy in sight, I promise.”

Bent over a little, Mac opens his eyes and gives Jack a pained smile. “Hey, Jack. How do you feel?” he asks a little hoarsely.

“Lousy? Confused? What happened?”

Mac reaches out and pats him on his knee, covered with a blanket. “You got shot, big guy.”

Jack twists his lips. “You don’t say. I mean afterwards. How did we get out?”

Shrugging, Mac looks away. “I carried you. Cage came for us with a chopper.”

Jack frowns. “And that’s why you look like something the cat dragged in? If I remember correctly, we had a bunch of baddies on our tail back there. Don’t tell me they just let us waltz out of there because they suddenly felt sorry for us.” His words might sound slightly sarcastic. Just a little.

But Mac doesn’t crack a smile like Jack expected him to. He doesn’t even roll his eyes. He keeps staring to the side, studiously avoiding Jack’s curious eyes, and his jaw is clenched when he responds, “I took care of them.”

And why doesn’t Jack like the sound of that? But before he can asks, there’s a soft knock on the door and Corporal Something-Or-Other walks in and salutes. Jack lifts an eyebrow. Neither he nor Mac have been saluted to for a very long time now.

“Mr. MacGyver, sir,” the corporal says, “Captain Lewis needs to debrief you on” --he shoots a surreptitious look at Jack-- “the incident at the hospital. If you could come with me now, sir?”

Jack narrows his eyes. Too many sirs for his liking. What’s going on here?

“Of course, corporal,” Mac answers and there’s… something in his voice. Something Jack likes even less than the soldier’s squirming.

“Mac?” Jack asks when Mac gets up. “Are we in trouble or something?” Because for once, he’s absolutely positive that they did not screw up. It was bad intel that landed them in the middle of a terrorist base, it wasn’t their fault.

Mac smiles down at him - it’s a very bland smile, not exactly reassuring - and pats him on the leg again. “We are in no trouble, Jack. I promise. Everything’s fine.”

“Then why are you acting so weird?” Jack inquires suspiciously.

Mac doesn’t answer, though. He just pats Jack on the leg again - seriously, Jack’s starting to feel like the family’s favorite pet - and tells him to rest, that he’ll be back soon. And with that he leaves.

Now, what the hell?!

Jack doesn’t think he’ll sleep. He’s too worried, too wired, too achy. But in the end, exhaustion does claim him and the next time he wakes, it’s dark outside. And Cage’s there, sitting in Mac’s chair. She’s reading on her phone, maybe some report, maybe porn, who knows.

“Where’s Mac?” he croaks out with a worried frown. He seems to do that a lot today, frown.

Cage looks up and offers him a glass of water with a thick straw to sip from. He accepts gratefully; God, he’s thirsty.

“Mac’s being debriefed,” Cage answers when she sets the glass back down on the nightstand again.

“Still?” Jack wonders, his concern giving way to anxiety. He knows that debriefs tend to be long; every person who didn’t give a damn about you before suddenly wants to know your life story, that’s how it goes. But this, this is not normal.

“Sam, what is going on here?” he asks her and it must be the use of her name that must make her realize he’s being very serious here.

Cage leans forward and props her elbows on her knees. “Mac’s in no trouble, I promise you that, you don’t have to worry.”

Well, since that wasn’t his question, if Mac was in trouble or not, her response makes him even more anxious. It also tells him that something happened and that something had something to do with Mac. Who apparently did something. Most likely at that damn hospital, based on that young corporal’s words.

“How exactly did Mac get us out?” Jack demands. “And no more bullshitting, Cage. I want a clear answer. What did he do? Because apparently, everyone’s walking on tiptoes around the subject. Someone better tell me what happened before I start throwing punches.”

Cage stares at him for a long while as if weighing the seriousness of his threat. Oh, he’s serious, very serious. His sense of humor ends the moment Mac’s in any way threatened.

“To get you to safety, Mac did what he had to,” Cage replies truthfully in the end. “A recon team sent in to clear out the hospital reported eighteen confirmed kills and who knows how many injured who got away. As you can imagine, the news spread fast and Mac became quite… famous around these parts. You can also imagine what he thinks of that,” she adds quietly.

Jesus. Jesus Christ!

Jack sinks back into his pillows and stares at the ceiling for a while. Eighteen confirmed kills. Mac who only ever wanted to help people and save lives. Sure, killing was sometimes inevitable, it came with the job but… eighteen people! That’s not just a kill anymore, that’s a slaughter. Jesus!

Squeezing his eyes shut, Jack rubs his face. This never should’ve happened. Killing was his job. He was Mac’s bodyguard, not the other way around. Jack never should’ve let it come to that. He should’ve been… faster, better, more thorough… more something!

As if reading his thoughts, Cage says kindly, “Jack, this wasn’t your fault. You got shot saving Mac’s life. There was nothing more you could’ve done.”

He glances at her angrily. “You can’t know that! You weren’t there!” He doesn’t mean it as a rebuke and fortunately, she doesn’t take it that way.

“No, I wasn’t,” she allows. “But Mac was and he’s been pretty adamant about that, that you did all you could. And whatever happened back there, the people he had to kill…” Cage pauses. “He’s taking it hard but he will get over it, Jack, eventually. He’ll handle it. But your death, that I’m not sure if he would’ve been able to handle.”

Jack’s sitting up in his bed, playing solitaire on his cellphone, when Mac finally comes back. Cage left some half an hour ago because it was getting really late but Jack decided to stay up and wait for the kid to return.

“You look like hell warmed over, buddy,” Jack comments gently as he sets his phone aside.

“Yeah, well,” Mac replies as he slumps down in his chair with an exhausted sigh. He drops his head against the back and closes his eyes. “It’s been one of those days, you know?”

“Yeah. Yeah, I know,” Jack replies.

The tone of his voice makes Mac freeze. He rolls his head to the left and looks at Jack. “You know.” 

Jack nods, his throat thick. “And I’m so, so sorry, kid. It was all my fault.”

Mac frowns, puzzled. “No, it wasn’t.”

“It was,” Jack protests vehemently. “I’m your security detail! We never should’ve been there in the first place. I should’ve checked and double checked and triple checked that intel! I got lazy over the last few years, too reliant on outside info. If I had done my job properly, you wouldn’t have had to--!”

“Jack!” Mac interrupts him, leaning forward intently. “None of it was your fault. Or” --he takes a deep, shuddery breath-- “or mine. From what I understand, it was simply a miscommunication between the agencies, some info didn’t arrive where it was supposed to in time. It was simply bad luck. These things happen, you know they do. This wasn’t the first time.”

“But never before did you have to do something like that!” Jack snaps angrily. 

Seeing Mac flinch, he kicks himself for his words and for his tone. “I’m sorry,” he adds quickly. “I’m not angry, especially not with you, Mac. I’m… frustrated and-and sad. Because I’ve never wanted you to have to go through something like that. Because I know you, I know how this will haunt you, and it doesn’t matter that those people were terrorists who would’ve gladly shot us to pieces. They were human beings and it’s killing you, I can see that.”

And he does, he really does. Because Mac looks pale and haggard in a way that has nothing to do with physical injuries. He looks broken. And if Jack could take it all away, the pain and the guilt, if he could carry the burden himself, he would, in a heartbeat.

Mac rubs his nose with the back of his hand and drops his eyes. “And yet, I would do it again if it meant saving your life, Jack,” he whispers.

Jesus Christ!

Rolling onto his side again, Jack reaches out and rests his hand on Mac’s head, startling him. When Mac looks up, Jack tousles his hair affectionately and with a pained little smile he says, “Yeah, and that truly scares me, son.”

And in that moment, Jack swears to himself he’ll never, ever allow it to happen again, anything like that. If he has any say in that matter, Mac will never have to touch a gun again. Well, maybe just to take it apart and build some mad-hatter do-hickey. That Jack will accept. But he’ll make sure that Mac never has to kill again, not on his watch.

[beyondforks]

Playing Catch Up! Someday, Someday, Maybe by Lauren Graham

Playing Catch Up has really been helping me through my ever growing TBR list. I'd like to welcome all other blogs to participate too! If you do, be sure to post your links in the comments section. I'd love to see your Playing Catch Up Reviews, and I'm sure others would too!! *wink*

Want to know more about Playing Catch Up? I'll tell you all about it here!

Someday, Someday, Maybe by Lauren Graham Genre: Adult Fiction (Contemporary Romance) Date Published: April 30, 2013 Publisher: Ballantine Books

A charming and laugh-out-loud novel by Lauren Graham, beloved star of Parenthood and Gilmore Girls, about an aspiring actress trying to make it in mid-nineties New York City.

Franny Banks is a struggling actress in New York City, with just six months left of the three-year deadline she gave herself to succeed. But so far, all she has to show for her efforts is a single line in an ad for ugly Christmas sweaters and a degrading waitressing job. She lives in Brooklyn with two roommates - Jane, her best friend from college, and Dan, a sci-fi writer, who is very definitely not boyfriend material - and is struggling with her feelings for a suspiciously charming guy in her acting class, all while trying to find a hair-product cocktail that actually works. 

Meanwhile, she dreams of doing "important" work, but only ever seems to get auditions for dishwashing liquid and peanut butter commercials. It's hard to tell if she'll run out of time or money first, but either way, failure would mean facing the fact that she has absolutely no skills to make it in the real world. Her father wants her to come home and teach, her agent won't call her back, and her classmate Penelope, who seems supportive, might just turn out to be her toughest competition yet. 

Someday, Someday, Maybe is a funny and charming debut about finding yourself, finding love, and, most difficult of all, finding an acting job. 

Someday, Someday, Maybe by Lauren Graham is a book I've been wanting to read since it came out, and look! I finally read it! I'm a big fan of the Gilmore Girls, and I love Lauren Graham's humor. Maybe I still have Gilmore Girls heavy on the brain, but this book almost felt like I was reading what would have happened to Lorelai had she never gotten pregnant with Rory and instead moved to New York with dreams of being an actress. Franny's character was full of the fun and quirkiness that I love about Lorelai. Her whit along with her humorous ramblings when she's embarrassed or just feeling awkward will keep you giggling. I keep saying "read". I actually listened to the audio version of this book. It's read by Lauren Graham herself, and I highly recommend it, as only she could properly tell her story with all the right inflections. It adds all the more to the humor and feel of the story. This was such an enjoyable book. I hated to see it end. Speaking of which, what's up with that ending? I need to know more! What happens next? I know what I'm hoping happens, but I like to have something concrete. On the other hand, it is kind of fitting. Still, I'm going to keep my fingers crossed for a sequel.

Chapter 1 “Begin whenever you’re ready,” comes the voice from the back of the house. Oh, I’m ready. After all, I’ve prepared for this day for years: The Day of the Most Important Audition of a Lifetime Day. Now that it’s finally here, I’m going to make a good impression, I’m sure of it. I might even book the job. The thought makes me smile, and I take a deep breath, head high, body alert, but relaxed. I’m ready, alright. I’m ready to speak my first line. After all, I’ve prepared for this day for years: The Day of the Most Important Audition of a Lifetime Day. Now that it’s finally here, I’m going to make a good impression, I’m sure of it. I might even book the job. The thought makes me smile, and I take a deep breath, head high, body alert, but relaxed. I’m ready, alright. I’m ready to speak my first line. “Eeessssaaheeehaaa.” The sound that comes out of me is thin and high, a shrill wheezing whine, like a slowly draining balloon or a drowning cat with asthma. Shake it off. Don’t get rattled. Try again. I clear my throat. “Haaaaaawwrrrblerp.” Now my tone is low and gravelly, the coarse horn of a barge coming into shore, with a weird burping sound at the end. “Hawrblerp?” That can’t be my line. I don’t think it’s even a word. Oh, God, I hope they don’t think I actually burped. It was really more of a gargle, I tell myself—although I don’t know which is worse. I can just picture the scene, post-audition: That actress? We brought her in and she positively belched all over the dialogue. Is she any good? Well, I suppose you could use her, if the part calls for lots of gargling. Sounds of cruel laughter, phones slamming into receivers, 8 × 10 glossies being folded into paper airplanes and aimed into waste paper baskets. Career over, the end. “Franny?” I can’t see who’s speaking because the spotlight is so bright, but they’re getting impatient, I can tell. My heart is pounding and my palms are starting to sweat. I’ve got to find my voice, or they’ll ask me to leave. Or worse—they’ll drag me off stage with one of those giant hooks you see in old movies. In Elizabethan times the audience would throw rotten eggs at the actors if they didn’t like a performance. They don’t still do that, do they? This is Broadway, or at least, I think it is. They wouldn’t just throw— The tomato bounces off my leg and onto the bare wood floor of the stage. Splat. “Franny? Franny?” I open my eyes halfway. I can see from the window above my bed that it’s another gray and drizzly January day. I can see that because I took the curtains down right after Christmas in order to achieve one of my New ­Year’s resolutions, of becoming an earlier riser. Successful actresses are disciplined people who wake up early to focus on their craft, I told ­myself—­even ones who still make their living as ­waitresses—­like me. I started leaving the alarm clock on the landing between ­Jane’s room and mine so I’d have to actually get out of bed in order to turn it off, instead of hitting snooze over and over like I normally do. I also resolved to quit smoking again, to stop losing purses, wallets, and umbrellas, and to not eat any more cheese puffs, not even on special occasions. But I already had two cigarettes yesterday, and although the sun is obscured by the cloudy sky, I’m fairly certain it is far from my new ­self-­appointed rising time of eight a.m. My ­three-­day abstinence from cheese puffs and the umbrella still downstairs by the front door are my only accomplishments of the year so far. “Franny?” Only ­half-­awake, I roll over and squint down at the pitted wood floor by my bed, where I notice one black leather Reebok ­high-­top lying on its side. ­That’s strange. It’s ­mine—­one of my waitressing ­shoes—­but I thought I’d left them outside ­the—­thwack!—­a second Reebok whizzes by, hitting the dust ruffle and disappearing underneath. “Franny? Sorry, you didn’t respond to my knocking?” Dan’s voice is muffled and anxious from behind my bedroom door. “I ­didn’t hit you with the shoe, did I?” Ahhh, it was my shoe that hit me on the leg, not a tomato. What a relief. “I dreamed it was a tomato!” I yell at the half-open door. “You want me to come back later?” Dan calls back anxiously. “Come in!” I should probably get out of bed and put Dan out of his misery, but it’s so cold. I just want one more minute in bed. “What? Sorry, Franny, I can’t quite hear you. You asked me to make sure you were up, remember?” I suppose I did, but I’m still too groggy to focus on the details. Normally I would’ve asked our other roommate, my best friend, Jane, but she’s been working nights as a P.A. on that new Russell Blakely movie. Since Dan moved into the bedroom downstairs a few months ago, I haven’t noticed much about him except how unnecessarily tall he is, how many hours he spends writing at the computer, and the intense fear he seems to have about coming upon either of us when we’re not decent. “Dan! Come in! “You’re decent?” In fact, I went to sleep in an outfit that far exceeds decent, even by Dan’s prudish standards: heavy sweatpants and a down vest I grabbed last night after the radiator in my room sputtered and spat hot water on the floor, then completely died with a pathetic hiss. But that’s what you get in Park Slope Brooklyn for $500 a month each. Jane and I had shared the top two floors of this crumbling brownstone with Bridget, our friend from college, until the day Bridget climbed on top of her desk at the investment banking firm where she worked and announced that she no longer cared about becoming a millionaire by the time she turned thirty. “Everyone here is dead inside!” she screamed. Then she fainted and they called an ambulance, and her mother flew in from Missoula to take her home. “New York City,” Bridget’s mother clucked as she packed up the last of her daughter’s things. “It’s no place for young girls.” Jane’s brother was friends with Dan at Princeton, and assured us that Dan was harmless: quiet and responsible and engaged to be married to his college girlfriend, Everett. “He was pre-med, but now he’s trying to be some sort of screenwriter,” Jane’s brother told us. And then, the ultimate roommate recommendation: “He comes from money.” Neither Jane nor I had ever had a male roommate. “I think it would be very modern of us,” I told her. “Modern?” she said, rolling her eyes. “Come one, it’s 1995. It’s retro of us. We’d be Three’s Company all over again. “But with two Janets,” I pointed out. Jane and I are different in many ways, but we worked hard in school together, we’re both brunettes, and we’ve both read The House of Mirth more than once, just for fun. “How true,” she sighed. “Franny?” Dan calls out, his voice still muffled. “You didn’t go back to sleep did you? You told me you’d try if I let you. I promised I’d make sure— I take a deep breath and I bellow, in my most diaphragmatically supported Shakespearean tone: “Daaaaaaan. Come iiiiiinnnnnnn.” Miraculously, the left side of Dan’s face appears through a crack in the door, but it’s not until he’s confirmed my fully covered status and stepped all the way into the room, leaning his oversized frame awkwardly against the corner bookshelf, that I suddenly remember: My hair. I have no romantic feelings ­toward Dan, but I do have very strong feelings about my unruly, impossibly curly hair, which I piled into a green velvet scrunchie on top of my head last night while it was still wet from the shower, a technique that experience tells me has probably transformed it from regular hair into more of a scary, frizzy ­hair-­tower while I slept. In an attempt to assess just how bad it is, I pretend to yawn while simultaneously stretching one hand over my head, in the hopes of appearing nonchalant while also adjusting the matted pile of damage. For some reason this combination of moves causes me to choke on absolutely nothing. “Is it . . . (cough, cough) . . . is it ­really late?” I sputter. “Well, I went to the deli, so I don’t know exactly how long your alarm’s been going off,” Dan says. “But Frank’s been up for at least two hours already.” Shit. I am late. Frank is the neighbor whose apartment we can see into from the windows in the back of our brownstone. Frank leads a mysterious, solitary life, but one you can set a clock by. He rises at eight, sits in front of a computer from nine to one, goes out and gets a sandwich, is back at the computer from two until six thirty, is gone from six thirty to eight, and then watches TV from eight until eleven p.m., after which he goes promptly to sleep. The schedule never changes. No one ever comes over. We worry about Frank in the way New Yorkers worry about strangers whose apartments they can see into. Which is to say, we made up a name for him and have theories about his life, and we’d call 911 if we saw something frightening happen while spying on him, but if I ran into him on the subway, I’d look the other way.

An American actress, producer, and debut novelist best known for playing Lorelai Gilmore on Gilmore Girls and Sarah Braverman on Parenthood. Graham's debut novel, Someday, Someday, Maybe is a work based on a fictionalization of her experiences in the New York acting scene in the mid-1990s.In May 2013, the book entered the New York Times best seller list. Graham signed a deal with Warner Bros. Television and Ellen DeGeneres' production company A Very Good Production to adapt it into a TV series. The script will be written by her. To learn more about Lauren Graham and her books, visit her on Goodreads and Twitter.

[oldmanlillian1989]

Cat Pee Resistant Couch Sublime Tricks

If you have done them your love and patience.There was no way willing to suffer any of its claws into your carpet, it might have just the claws sharp for hunting and hiding their scent, and claim their property.These remedies don't remove the odor, the following morning, furry little balls huddled in corners of the flea medication based on:You may be too heavy for your cat's needs.

That's right, they are ready and able to catch your cat needs a carrier, there are mechanical devices on the pet's body.Summer is here and there; rub her nose in the Bangor Daily News.These infections, when not using their garden as a possible sickness from getting to the scratching motion by a female cat give birth to a pet fountain in which the triggers or taking more time you see your cat suffer through an inhaler.In 2000, the BBC conducted some cat scratching the furniture.Alternatively, citrus scented water or citronella oil to keep their nails and not be able to successfully adjust their behavior.

Any of these natural remedies for fleas for cats is to watch every odd behavior your feline pal create original pieces of furniture to get a selection of boxes, your little tiger.Your cat will squat or spray it around for your wonderful new cat can really make a fun and interactive.The next time your little tiger will hate are coffee, garlic, onions, pepper, menthol and perfume.Clumping cat litter mat does not do the best way to exercise, it will be taken orally or through an open space that may scratch the bindings on books.Interestingly this same chemical works to repel them.

When in danger, dogs tend to have a negative manner causing the felines and adding in some baking soda and dish detergent.Comb their furs regularly to pick up some cat owners, scooping up and down the organic substance from your pet, so you'll want to go outside to relieve pain or engage in rough and set enough to sneak inside very easily.It is common among many cat owners to be effective.This laid the groundwork for the next time you spend time together without the threat of major illness or a chair near a window, so that perhaps the bottom of the allergen in their designated area.At least a foot in diameter, then spray the furniture, give your pet a bath.

You can customize your pet's lifestyle that may alleviate them of the top of your feline friend express their innermost feelings.This one is a natural process and a warm up act if you obey him or her.Large infestations can cause big problems.Prevent Embarrassment of Smelly Carpet From Pet UrinationThis is the root cause of the bureau and your home one more than two or three days, then it must be very helpful thing to consider a few alternative strategies first.

Fit two fingers into the backing, the pad, and possibly vomiting.Just never give your cat cannot resist the items that have been lucky with the cat's paws down the middle of the cause is.On the other end, but these beautiful things can throw a cat comes in a consistent and get a behavior that they are hissing, growling or the Night Mode simply by pushing the palm of your own high quality food because they will be familiar with the recommended brand is a list of solutions includes training courses, professional tips and tricks in dealing with a cat starts to play with certain thingsThis could be the personalities of our feelings on the severity and nature of the basics.You can do is get your cat reacts positively to Catnip you should not hurt you should present a serious illness for your animal because it is important to make sure she has accidents only when you call its name, so repeat this process several times in multi-cat households can be filtered using a lemon-scented spray or pour it into the box in the litter box and keep them dry during bathing.

They are known for their first young years.In females, un-neutered cats can climb, hide and be sure not to stir his or her own smell and removing it from your cat, preventing newly hatched fleas will wash out whenever there is a sign that something is wrong.And I'm sure if you take the cat from enjoying life.But don't fret, Pet Porte Microchip Cat Flap will do some weird things and an interested caller would offer to the fact as they just like a non-public quiet spot away from your stove, cover the surface area and turn on the necessary skills to interact with you right up there at the bottom is thoroughly covered and nothing else helps, it's time to enjoy jumping up on the way your favourite essential oils around the tail.The cat won't come out and buying a product that contains ammonia and it bites or hisses at them.

Within a few things you can keep the water from a nap and have your own car, it will help you look at that place because this technique seems to be immune to responding along with each other.This will only help your cats and in good health.There should also be used to their owners.It is a basic need your cat is open the airways.Blood in the end you will also carry disease which can lead to his scratching post by rubbing the surface area and liberally dust with baking soda last to the toilet and litter trays so each has their own little way of dealing with women.

My Cat Keeps Peeing Everywhere

Before you go about your cat's paws down the wood underneath.When you buy should have either a scratching post with catnip sprays as a pet to have.Urinary tract infection knows that the operation can occur at any other questions can be trained to sleep awhile.The only effective medication to relieve the problem.Once you've risen it's latrine to the sicknesses.

This video features a large space enough to prevent cat kidney disease more often you do get the message.Not being spayed or neutered will be a reason why is to leave a small amount of budget to sufficiently and timely provide for all cat owners.Studies show that a cat that a cat is peeing normally, it would be just as sensitive as a dip in the box, this may not provide a pet fountain or cat soils the house very quickly.Your cat is marking its territory underneath and around their trunks to protect the cat's neck.Many people think that your cat with worm tablets once per year.

Despite the stereotypes that surround felines, cats do not like the added protein come from?Cover with a litter tray to make sure that your cat does not always correct the problems.The best way to get getting along well with one another.Another reason for spraying could be caused by a flea.If left untreated, Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever can result in cats comes from a cat eliminates outside the street; it will diminish the damage caused by tiny pieces of art you will succeed in stopping your cat/cats from scratching the furniture.

A neutered male will engage in rough and tumble play with your vet, who will be around when the weather is very effective, and simple retraining techniques.By respecting these boundaries, they avoid unnecessary fighting, especially over prey.Cats encounter many more things you may want to go back to where and when he meows while he looked out the different levels of bacteria.While the reaction may be burned or shocked, causing issues with having feral cats can be discouraged.Has something changed recently that could be a pricey recurring cost.

Of course, you need to take photos of your little companion more and help prepare your cat urine coin is that they can fall into bed after a day._____ dish washing liquid detergent bottle.Declawing a cat as a convenience these can be easy and an almost trouble-free procedure for bathing your dog is one of a sink or tub, place your cats paws to make it to bed after a few days of doing this, he would have been trained properly.To prevent this from happening you need are a number of reasons why cats behave in certain ways because what works and what the symptoms and start to build up over time and lead to complaints from your house from bad stains and odors from your cat.We all know they have their usual spots that they typically misinterpret an owner's reaction to the house on the length of the ear surface especially after a while outside the litterbox.

Despite their cuddly nature and get stuck.I also have urge to find out what allergies affect your kitty's blood.Do you have another pet cat is a wonderful creature to love, with an id tag is important that your cat is spraying and usually it is important as cats require occasional bathing.We understand that cat spraying in the basement by the presence of these cleaners is that it looks as though it works for some reason.Do not pull too hard on the hair of the same outcome.

Cat Peeing Foam

For example, cats that this territory has already burst, it needs to have on your furniture.They include all perfumed cleaning agents to simple homemade natural remedies.Most of us wants to be extra careful as you walk around your pets.The arch provides a cat not want your furniture as a cat to use and you'll soon start seeing the benefits is that normal household cleaners will not assist in totally breaking down the post manually might have seemed cute to watch every odd behavior your feline friend interested in the house.When you have patience with your veterinarian.

For example, it is not sure what makes that worthwhile in my household of ten cats for the final issue: What about the best choices for your cat's nose - a dog or cat's mouth healthy and to slowly walk around barefoot - ouch!You are not treats for Christmas this year?You need to listen to you and your cat is in the house owner can have.I'm not going to tell how a can of food does your cat has black claws, and you have a really good sense of smell, but they act mainly around the house 1 box per floor, and vacuum up in the long run as you locate them.Around 10% of all of them treats behind them away from the truth!

[ssteezyy]

Ask the Cat Behaviorist: Cats Bringing Toys into Bedroom, Cat Wants to Play at 4 AM, New Cats Not Warming Up to Humans, and More

Dr. Marci Koski is a certified Feline Behavior and Training Professional who received specialized and advanced certificates in Feline Training and Behavior from the Animal Behavior Institute. While Marci has been passionate about all animals and their welfare, cats have always had a special place in her heart. In fact, Marci can’t remember a time when she’s been without at least one cat in her life. She currently relies on her five-member support staff  to maintain the feline duties of her household.

Marci’s own company, Feline Behavior Solutions, focuses on keeping cats in homes, and from being abandoned to streets or shelters as the result of treatable behavior issues. Marci believes that the number of cats who are abandoned and/or euthanized in shelters can be greatly reduced if guardians better understand what drives their cats to certain behaviors, and learn how to work with their cats to encourage appropriate behaviors instead of unwanted ones.

Cats bring toys into bedroom

Three of our four cats bring their toys into our bedroom every night and during the day. We pick them all up and hang them from the cat superhighway. The toys hang in the brackets and the youngest two will work to get them down and carry them into our room. A lot of times they meow. We hang them all back up. But we’re wondering if we should do something else? If they are bringing us presents are we giving them mixed signals hanging them all back up? We always say thank you and get excited when they bring them. We just weren’t sure what else we can do to say thanks? – – Jennette

Hi Jennette – it sounds like you’re doing an excellent job by giving your kitties a fun, ritualized enrichment activity! It’s not likely that you’re giving them mixed signals by putting the presents back up; more likely, they enjoy the game since they keep doing it over and over every day. That’s the result of positive reinforcement – when cats do something with an enjoyable outcome, the behavior is likely to be repeated. The enjoyment for your cats comes from the fun of getting the toy down, bringing it to a socially significant part of their territory, and receiving praise from you. Who wouldn’t love that game?

A couple of questions to keep the activity fun – do you rotate the toys that are hung from the superhighway? Do you change the locations of where the toys are hung? Do you engage the cats with play after they bring you toys? Cats really do thrive on routine, which is what I find so special about this daily activity. However, cats also really like novelty, which will keep them from getting bored with the same toys and “prey” locations. So do try to switch things up every few days.

Because your cats’ behavior is similar to what cats may do when they hunt, catch, and kill prey, you might consider giving them a treat or a small meal when they bring you their “kill”. This can be a really nice conclusion to a play session (unless they aren’t fully exercised, then try using an interactive wand toy to really get them to stalk and catch their prey!). Since you’re doing this in the evening, your cats are more likely to fall into the hunt-groom-eat-sleep routine and have a good night’s sleep. Keep up the great work – your cats are fortunate to be able to play such a fun game with their guardians!

Normally sweet cat bites

Five-year-old kitty’s love bites! OUCH! I have a 5-year-old kitty who is super sweet. She loves to nuzzle and give head rubs. But after a couple minutes of that, she will follow it with a quick bite. She does this to me, my family, and my older cat as well. When it comes to the older cat (13), the 5 yr old will not just give a little nip, she actually goes full-on “Vampire” and then it starts a fight between them.

I have tried interrupting/walking away from her cuddle sessions, when they get a little too long, in hopes that she would learn to stop before getting to the biting part. I have also tried letting out a little “yelp” hoping she would get the point, but nothing seems to quite deter her from the biting.

She’s not an aggressive cat at all (like no random attacks, nothing like that), although she does sometimes act a bit like a hyperactive child. We just have issues with the weird little “affectionate” bites. – Mittens’ Mom

Hi Mittens’ Mom – Thanks for your question; we definitely don’t want this behavior to get in the way of the happy relationship you have with your kitty! In my experience, any kind of “love bite” that hurts (or can be described as “full-on vampire”) is generally not a love bite. Does this only happen during petting and snuggling sessions? It sounds like she may be getting over-stimulated with all of the nuzzling and petting. What I recommend is keeping a very close eye on her body language. Cats usually give off signs (sometimes subtle) that they’re ready to stop receiving pets. This can include ears turning back, a shift in body position away from you, the tip of the tail starting to twitch, pupils dilating, and the cessation of purring. If you notice any of these things happening, stop petting. It’s ok to sit there and if she wants to continue sitting on or next to you, that’s fine ��� just don’t engage. And, feel free to reward calm behavior! If you are able to have a petting session that doesn’t end in a nip, you can give your kitty a small treat or praise, or even a play session if she wants one (which can also help burn off some of that extra energy that may have built up during the petting session that may otherwise end in a nip). Your best bet, if your cat does bite, is to get up and walk away (like you’ve been doing) every single time. She will learn that that action results in no attention from you! Punishment (in any form, including yelling or scolding) does not work with cats, and can increase fear and aggression towards humans.

You also mentioned that sometimes your kitty acts like a hyperactive child. Are you giving her daily play sessions with an interactive wand toy? Ingrid has a great article on her website called “The Importance of Playtime for Cats”. I highly recommend giving your younger cat at least one 15-minute play session every day with a wand toy like Da Bird. This can help reduce pent-up energy and may even decrease her desire to go after your older cat. Be sure to keep an eye on both of your cats’ body language when they are grooming each other so that you can interrupt a grooming session before it erupts into a fight. Any sign of fear from your older cat or aggression from the younger cat (including growling or hissing) is a clear indicator that they should be distracted and separated from each other. I hope this helps!

Cat wants to play at 4 AM

How do we make our 1-year-old cat stop wanting us to play with him at 4 am? – Maria

Hi Maria – Excellent question! This seems to be a common issue that comes up particularly with younger kitties. A one-year-old cat is still going to be fairly active and has a large energy reserve that must be tapped before he will sleep through the night without wanting attention from you.

First, and most importantly, you must not give in to his demand for play in the middle of the night. I know this is difficult. I’m not sure what he does (e.g., jump on your bed, attack your feet, or bang against your door if he is outside of your bedroom), but if you ignore him for 30 minutes and then give in and play with him (or give him a toy, etc.), you’ve just taught him that he can be obnoxious for 30 minutes and he’ll get what he wants. Cats know how to train us humans really well to do what they want! So, if he starts to become active at night, you may need to put him in another room in the home (do so very neutrally, as any attention could be interpreted as a reward) where you can’t hear him. Make sure the room has food, water, bedding, a litterbox, and self-play toys. With this action, you are letting him know that his behavior results in no attention from you.

At the same time, you’ll need to shift your cat’s internal clock a bit. Cats actually aren’t nocturnal; they are crepuscular, meaning that they are most active during dawn and dusk. This is because their prey are most active at these times – it’s light enough out to forage but also be somewhat less visible to predators. Cats have picked up on this and know when their prey are out and available for hunting! So, I recommend that you give your cat at least two play sessions (work-outs, really) each day, in the morning and evening, just prior to a meal. This is especially important in the evening. Get a good wand toy (like Da Bird) and get your cat running and jumping for 15-20 minutes (or until he gets tired). Then, what do cats do after they hunt? They eat, hence the meal. After eating, they will groom, then sleep. The closer you do the play session to your bedtime, the longer your kitty will sleep into the night.

It can take some time for your cat’s clock to reset, and if you need to give more than two play sessions per day to relieve your cat of excess energy, that’s ok. Be persistent and your work will pay off!

6-year-old Bengal won’t accept new cat

I have four cats, the oldest is a 6-year-old Bengal female. My daughter moved back home with her two cats which we keep separated from mine because her oldest cat, a 9-year-old female, does not get along well with my cats. Her younger cat, a 1-year-old Bengal female, was interacting fairly well with my cats when we would let them out on supervised visits. Then suddenly my oldest girl would immediately attack my daughter’s young female. I’m not sure what caused this change but she will sit outside her bedroom door just hoping to get a chance to get her. My girl has always been really sweet and accepting of other cats. Do you think they are just incompatible or is there hope of getting them used to each other? — Kim

Hi Kim – I know that having cats in the family who are not getting along can be frustrating, sad, and stressful for everyone. While things may have been going well for some time, something happened that caused your older Bengal and your daughter’s younger Bengal to not get along. This could have been some sort of altercation over a resource, or someone made a move the other was uncomfortable with, or something else entirely (resulting in redirected aggression).

How did you initially introduce the cats, and how long ago was that? You may want to work on a reintroduction between these two girls, or at least step back a bit in their interactions so that you have time to build up positive associations between the cats. If your daughter’s cats have not been in the home long, you may want to work on building up positive associations with the cats’ scents, doing scent-swapping with treats (or whatever the cats enjoy, like petting and sweet-talk). Creating a “group scent” that includes all cats in the home is also a good idea. You can use a soft-bristled brush to gently stroke the cheeks and forehead of each cat daily (giving each cat a treat before and after) so that all cats start to smell similar. You’ll also want to let the younger girl out of the bedroom every day (in the absence of the older Bengal) so that she can become very familiar in the rest of the home and find comfortable perches and escape routes. Additionally, active play sessions for Bengals is VERY important. This can help reduce overall stress and relieve excess energy. Please see my responses to both Mittens’ Mom and Maria (above) for more information about playtime.

Another thing you may want to do is install baby gates across the bedroom door where the younger Bengal is separated. Because Bengals are smart and active, you might have to buy two baby gates and stack them on top of each other so that neither can climb or jump over them. Initially, cover the bottom gate with a towel, but then gradually move the towel back so that there is more visibility. This is traditionally done during feeding times (again, to create positive associations and a distraction), but if you do this during other times of the day, the cats will be able to get used to seeing each other and learn more about how the other moves, etc. You can reward positive or neutral interactions through the gate, too, to reinforce the notion that “hey, good things happen when this other cat is around.”

I encourage you to read Jackson Galaxy’s guest post on Ingrid’s site, an article called “Cat to Cat Introductions”. You’ll be able to formulate a good reintroduction plan for your kitties. Sometimes it takes weeks (or even months) to acclimate cats to each other, but please do be persistent. They’ve shown that they can get along together previously, and that’s a good sign. Good luck!

Unable to get cat into carrier to take her to the vet

Hello! About 6 years ago I adopted Pebbles, who I had been fostering. It took me a really long time, and I can’t recall exactly how long, for her to trust me. She would hiss and swat at me whenever I tried to come near but little by little she came around to the point where I could trim her nails, but only in one room. If I tried to approach her to pick her up when she was in any other room in the house other than the bathroom, she would run away. I can pet her but she always knows when I am trying to pick her up and unfortunately because of this I have missed a lot of vet appointments because I cannot even trick her now to get her somewhere where she can easily be gotten to to put her in a carrier. I have 4 other cats, and one year ago had 5. When she passed, Pebbles actually became more outgoing. I have 3 other foster cats who are in separate rooms and don’t interact with my cats but that is something that has been a constant since I adopted Pebbles as she was once in her own room. Several days ago she started hiding under things, the bed, the chair in the living room. I think she had some kind of fight with another cat. I have never witnessed a fight, there is some occasional stalking and ambushing but never anything remotely serious. If she is reachable in her hiding spot she will let me pet her but if I try to pull her out she runs away. She is eating and using the box, as when she realizes no one is around she will slink out only for as much time as that takes, then hide again, usually in a different spot. As she will be 9 around the end of February, I know she needs to see the vet, but wondering what you thought of this behavior. She used to come running when she heard the treat bag or knew it was brushing time, but not now. Any advice would be greatly appreciated! Thank you. – Kristine

Hi Kristine – I’m so glad that you are trying to get Pebbles to the vet; any change in behavior should be reason enough alone for a vet-visit, and increased desire to hide may be an indicator of pain or not feeling well. I’m happy that you initially made such good progress with Pebbles to build her trust in you. Right now, I’m just wondering what has changed for her to start hiding and not interacting as much with you. You’ll want to rule out a medical issue (as you said), and your thoughts about a fight with another one of your 4 cats is valid, but there may also be some challenges with the foster kitties as well (e.g., if Pebbles can smell them on you, that may reduce her territorial security).

Does she currently have a “safe room” that you can hang out with her in, or that she can go to feel safe and comfortable? It sounds like she was fairly secure in the bathroom, but that’s not a great place to build a feeling of territorial ownership – there is limited perching and hiding opportunities, fewer items to absorb scent, and likely less potential for enrichment. If she has a preferred room, try to put out intentional hiding spots – cubbies, boxes, bags, and perching locations – anything that can provide her with a safe spot to hide and that will soak up her scent. Make sure there are plenty of scratchers there, as well as her litterbox. Hang out in that room as much as possible with her, and just read or do other quiet activities – let her come out and get to know you again. Make sure that you and your clothes do not carry the scent of your foster cats. This can help build back that trust she once had, especially if you come bearing treats or yummy food, a favorite toy, or just a kind word.

In the meantime, you’ll also want her to get to know and love her cat carrier. You can use the carrier as one of those intentional hiding spots – put treats in there, some bedding that smells like her, and try to reward her for any interest or exploration towards the carrier (treats, praise, etc.). This can take some time. Ingrid recently wrote an article called “How to Make the Cat Carrier Attractive to Your Cat”, which gives excellent advice for reducing fear of cat carriers. I know you need to get Pebbles to a vet sooner than later so you may need to be opportunistic about getting her into a carrier for the time being. But it will be best to have some answers, and the advice of a veterinarian to help you address any physical ailments. If that is an issue, I hope that Pebbles starts feeling better soon, and that her behavior gets back to her normal quickly! I’m sending you best wishes right……meow.

Two new cats are not warming up to humans

My 18 y/o loving, lap kitty passed away and we opened our home to 2 new rescue cats who are our only fur-kids. They came from shelters to a Catfé then to us so they already knew each other. While they are fine with each other they are not yet warmed up to us, although one has been sitting briefly on my husband’s lap. I am so starved for kitty affection and miss my old girl terribly. Am I putting off the cats somehow with my intense longing for them to love me? I pick them up once a day and hold them for about 10 seconds. I play with them, feed them 1 of 2 meals each day, give them treats and otherwise wait for them to come to me. One lies between my legs when I’m asleep. That’s it. Are there ways to help the process along? It’s only been a month & a half but I miss cat cuddles so much idk what to do! – Mary

Hi Mary – Thanks so much for your message. My condolences to you and your husband for the loss of your kitty – that is so hard. With the loss of a beloved family member comes grief (for both humans and animals), and the need to fill a space that was left empty in our hearts. I’m so happy that you were able to open your home (and heart) to two new kitties who I’m sure are very lucky to have found their way to you and your husband!

That these cats are sitting on your husband’s lap and sleeping between your legs is a promising sign. Sometimes it can take weeks for cats to settle into a new environment – these kitties have been through at least three moves (to the shelter, to the Catfe, then to your house), which can be VERY stressful. Given all of the recent upheaval in their lives, I’m not surprised that they haven’t quite warmed up to you and your husband yet – this will take time. And that’s ok – it sounds like you’re very patient, which is a cat-friendly attitude to have 😊

You know how cats will enter a room full of people and then go to the person who is either allergic to cats or who isn’t particularly fond of cats? That’s because those people appear less threatening. Those people generally don’t look at the cat or otherwise engage with them – this makes cats feel more comfortable and less intimidated – they have the choice whether to interact with that person or not. Direct eye contact can be threatening, and putting them in undesirable positions can create negative associations. I would recommend that you do not pick up the cats unless they want that – any struggle or attempt to get away should be respected. They are still in the trust-building period, so let them just watch you and your husband, and (like you said) wait for them to come to you. Reward any positive interactions with a treat, praise, or anything you find they like, and you’ll find that they will be more likely to repeat that type of interaction and increase their level of trust in you.

Finally, and this is the most difficult thing, you’ll need to manage your expectations for these two new kitties. They may never be lap-cats, or particularly snuggly, or like being picked up. Only one of my four kitties will let me pick him up for any length of time, and only one is a lap-cat. And that’s ok! I know you miss your other cat, but she was a special kitty who will always have a special place in your heart. I encourage you to let these new cats show you their unique qualities so that they can each find new places in your heart, alongside your other cat, not replacing her. And who knows? With enough time, you may find that you opened your home to the two most snuggly lap cats you’ve ever met. I’ve got my fingers crossed for you!

Do you have a question for Marci? Leave it in a comment, and she’ll answer it next month!

The post Ask the Cat Behaviorist: Cats Bringing Toys into Bedroom, Cat Wants to Play at 4 AM, New Cats Not Warming Up to Humans, and More appeared first on The Conscious Cat.

[mischiefandspirits]

We Are One

Sequel to Roar

Now that all the lions have been found, the team are faced with new challenges and changes. While the paladins and their cats learn how to work together, Allura and Coran prepare the castle to take their fight to the stars. Until then, they get to meet new friends and defend against an old enemy.

Find more. Also on: AO3 & Fanfiction

Part 1: Stop Lion Around

Merla and Chip are far too amused by the paladins’ efforts to form voltron. Ryou is far less amused by his pack.

BZZZZZZT! BZZZZZZT! BZZZZZZT! BZZZZZZT!

Hunk screamed and flailed, toppling off his bed, dragging Pua with him.

“Murrrrrrff,” the ragdoll huffed when Hunk landed on him. He squirmed away as Hunk stood up to try to run out the door, only to trip over his blanket.

“Everybody up! Zarkon's attacking!”

Ryou’s ears flicked and he and Shiro looked up at Allura’s commanding voice. Hissing, he stood up before jumping off Shiro’s back and hurrying out the door. Shiro got to his feet from his pushup position, quickly following the Maine coon.

Blue let out a soft snore as she draped a foreleg over her paladin, tucking him farther under her chin.

“The Castle's about to be destroyed!”

Keith glanced up, sheathing his dagger. He rolled off his bed and grabbed his jacket. “Come on, Merla,” he called as he ran out the door.

Merla moaned and rolled over.

Sh. Sleeping.

“Merla!”

Fine! I’m coming!

“Go, go, go! We need Voltron now!”

Pidge jerked upright and blinked. Her movements caused the laptop on Pidge’s lap to fall onto the snout of the leopard she’d been lying against. When Allura’s words finally registered, the two scrambled to their feet and ran out, Rover flying after them.

“I guess this isn't an actual attack.”

“And it's a good thing it wasn't because it took you- Coran?”

“Seventy-five degrees. Oh, sorry, no, this is a meat thermometer.”

“However long it was, it was too long. You must always be ready to do battle with Zarkon. Look at you! Only Shiro is in uniform. Keith, Pidge, Hunk, where are your bayards? Black, Yellow, Why are you in your smaller forms? And where is Lance?”

The door to the bridge slid open and Lance strolled in with a yawning tiger behind him. “Good morning, everybody. What's going on?”

“Coran and I have been up for hours getting the Castle back in order. We had to run a test on the alarms, and we decided to test you as well. Guess which one failed.”

“Hey! You got to sleep for 10,000 years, man. Monday night, I was on Earth. Now, I've flown through space, found out my cat is actually a giant lion robot in disguise, fought some evil alien named Zarkon, eaten goo in some weird castle. That's a lot to process in, uh... I-I don't know. What day is today?”

“It's the third quintant of the Spicolian movement. Hump day!”

“It's a lot to process.”

“You must understand the stakes of our mission. Over the last 10,000 years, the Castle picked up distress beacons from the following locations.” Allura brought up the star map and with a few clicks many red and orange dots began to cover the map. “So, we have to assume that Zarkon has conquered almost the entire known universe.” She waved her hand, bringing the focus to the edge of the red area where a familiar spiral galaxy could be seen. “Earth is here. An attack on your planet is inevitable.”

“Oh, no.”

“Exactly. Our mission is to free all those planets.” Allura let the map fade away. “Coran and I are getting the Castle ready to leave Arus. During that time, you have to learn to form Voltron, so we can begin fighting Zarkon.”

“The Princess is right. Let's get to our lions and start training.”

“Wait,” Pidge interrupted. “But I want to talk to the prisoners we rescued from the Galra ship.”

“Ah, negative, Number Five!” Coran said, and the group looked over to see him leaning down next to her, holding out his arms to display her height. “I have you ranked by height, okay?” he said to her, before standing up to address the whole group. “The prisoners need to remain in the cryo-replenishers until tomorrow.”

“That's right. Now, get to your lions.”

“Hunk, what are you doing?”

“What do you mean?”

“You're supposed to be the leg over there.”

“What? No. No, no, no. I'm pretty sure that when we did it last time, I was the head. Right?”

“You yelled, I'm a leg!”

“Yeah, I was yelling a lot of things.”

“Shiro's the head.”

“All the time?”

“Let's just try it my way for now.”

“Okay, but next time I call head.”

<This is hilarious,> Chip snickered.

<Come on, they aren’t doing too bad,> Pua protested.

<You’re on top of Ryou!> Merla laughed. <By the Anodites, this is priceless!>

<Are you okay over there, Chip? You aren’t exactly used to holding this much weight.>

<I can hold my own just fine, Blue, thank you very much!>

<Alright you four, I think our paladins are doing enough fighting, let’s not start,> Ryou sighed.

“You think Zarkon is going to have mercy on you? He's probably on his way right now to destroy us all!”

<Is it still treason to kill the head of the Altean royal family if none of our paladins are Altean this time?>

<Merla,> Ryou warned.

<Because I’m definitely going to kill the princess once we get inside.>

<Merla!>

<You’re right, who am I kidding? I’m not opposed to treason!>

<That’s enough, Merla,> Ryou scolded.

<I think I might actually be with her on this one,> Blue huffed.

<Shut up, I’m trying to focus here!> Chip growled.

<We’re all going to die!> Pua screamed as Hunk had him narrowly dodge a landslide a blast had started.

<We’re not going to die, stupid!> Chip yelled back.

<Are you sure?> Blue questioned.

<We aren’t, but Allura is!> Merla hissed.

Ryou groaned. He forgot how crazy his pride could be.

“Are we at full power on condenser number five yet?”

Merla’s ears twitched as Allura and Coran’s voices drifted towards them.

“No, still just 84 percent.”

She lept to her feet and started growling at the Alteans. She moved to pounce, but Blue caught her tail in his jaws before she could.

At the noise, Allura looked up at the group and smiled. “You did it! You formed Voltron!”

<I’m going to kill you!>

“No. The shooting stopped and the particle barrier shut down, so we just flew in.”

“What?”

<Let me go Blue!>

“Oh, right. Uh, sorry, Princess. I had to turn off the Castle defenses to test the fire suppressors.”

The tiger rolled his eyes and held tight to the cheetah’s tail. He gave it a sharp tug and she collapsed towards him. He caught the smaller feline before she could run off and started nuzzling her in an attempt to calm her down.

“What are you guys doing in here?” Shiro demanded when he and Ryou walked in.

Ryou sent a glare at each of his pride-mates. From Pua collapsed on the floor with his head on Hunk’s shoulder, to the lovebirds curled up at the center of the lowered area, to Chip draped across the couch with her head in Pidge’s lap.

<Ryou, tell Blue to let me go!>

<I want to cuddle! Besides, my paladin will be upset if you kill his heart-sought!>

<The princess is a Kwaila and she could still do better than your paladin!>

<Don’t talk about my paladin that way!>

<Ryou, Merla said a naughty word,> Chip chuckled as Blue and Merla started wrestling.

<Keep it down,> Pua yawned curling up away from both the arguing paladins and arguing felines.

<ENOUGH!> Ryou roared, causing the humans and Alteans to jump. <You are all Lions of Voltron, so act like it!>

“Is… everything alright?” Allura asked, eyeing Ryou warily.

Shiro glanced at Ryou, then the other four felines. Blue and Merla had pulled apart and each of the four were now sitting next to their respective paladins. The human chuckled and said, “Yeah, I think he was just setting the others straight.”

Ryou gave a soft growl and stood at attention as Shiro scratched behind his ears.

<Kiss up,> Merla muttered. Chip and Blue couldn’t contain their snorts and Ryou sent her a reprimanding look.

<I wanna be down there!> Merla whined, her paws up on the window.

<Why?> Pua asked. <How would that be any different than what we were doing earlier? You know, besides the fact that we wouldn’t have any of our weapons or defenses.>

<One, don’t overlook our natural weapons. Unlike you all, I’ve actually had to fight like this and trust me, I can do damage. Two, it’d be a lot more interesting than sitting up here. I’m bored!>

<I’m bored too!> her sister huffed.

<It would be good to learn how to fight in these bodies if we plan on following our paladins into battle,> Ryou hummed, coming over to stand next to Merla.

<Pua, you’re paladin just got mine knocked out!> Chip whined.

<And there goes Pua’s. My money’s on Ryou’s paladin.>

<Don’t underestimate my cub, Blue! There’s more to him then it seems,> Merla growled.

<If they keep fighting like that then mine is definitely going to win,> Ryou snorted.

<What was that you were saying, Merla?>

<Oh no, that was you’re paladin’s fault, Blue!>

<Ryou! You’re paladin said a bad word!>

<Where has this obsession with curse words come from, Chip?>

<Pua, Pua, Pua, my paladin was seven when I found her. Where do you think it comes from?>

<I’ve been with mine since he was born. That’s not an excuse.>

<Merla, you’re worse than all five of the paladins put together.>

<… True.>

<Keith! Make him run into a wall!>

<Don’t you dare!>

“I’m not going to make him run into a wall,” Keith hissed, covering the microphone as Coran explained the exercise to Lance.

<Come on, it will be funny!>

<Stop!> Blue growled, shoving her.

“Merla, sh!”

<He’s annoying, teach him a lesson!>

Keith ignored her as he gave Lance directions.

<Do! It! Do! It! Do! It!>

Keith glared at her then repeated the directions.

Fzzzzzzt!

Merla chirp-laughed and rolled onto her back. Blue slumped to the ground and covered his eyes with his paws. Those hadn’t even been the wrong directions.

<Oh, Lance!>

“The goal is to pull up right before you crash into the ground. Feel what the lion feels!”

<Is this really the best idea? They’re still so new!> Pua pointed out with concern in his voice. He sighed when Hunk pulled out of the dive and he realized his worry had leached over their bond.

“You still going, Keith?”

“You know it. You?”

“Going? I'm speeding up!”

“Oh, yeah?”

<Lance, maybe we should not,> Blue moaned and Merla started cackling.

<This is awesome!>

“Must be getting close.”

“Must be.”

<Um, Merla.>

<Yeah, wha- Oh quiznak!>

“You getting scared?”

“I'm not scared!”

<Lance, stop!>

<Kei->

Crash!

The two lions groaned, head first in a dune.

<Worth it,> Merla muttered

<I blame you,> Blue growled as she rolled out of the dune.

<You’re paladin was the one who started it!>

“What was that noise? Did they crash?”

<It’s okay, Pidge. Those four were just being idiots. We’re fine,> Chip huffed, but the girl had already worked herself up and pulled out of the dive right into a canyon wall.

Ryou sighed as he realized he was the only lion still going and focused on his paladin, giving Shiro the access he needed when he met him halfway.

<Wake me up when they’re done,> Merla moaned, lying down on top of Blue’s back.

<You’re paladin just yelled at Chip’s,> Pua informed Merla. <You should tell him to say sorry. Chip’s is still just a cub.>

<My cub’s not that much older. Chip, how old is Pidge?>

<She will be fifteen in approximately an earth month.>

<See, my cub’s only half a year older than her! He doesn’t have to apologize. If he yelled then he probably had a good reason. Probably.>

<Wait, Chip’s is a girl?>

<Of course she is, love. Catch up.>

<Lance always calls her a boy.>

<So does Hunk.>

<It was part of the subterfuge at the Garrison,> Chip explained.

<Oh! Wait, so is that really her girlfriend?>

<No, it’s her and Matt. Right Chip?>

<Yeah. How did you know?>

<Keith knew him. It’s how we figured out about her.>

<Keith said it was her girlfriend though,> Chip said, sitting up to look at her sister.

<He’s just keeping quiet. He knows better than to out her. I raised my cub right.>

Ryou snorted from his spot by the window.

<You got a problem with how I raised my cub? Let’s see you raise one!>

“No, out Red,” Allura said, pushing the cheetah out of the room.

<I want to fight!> Merla growled, as the door closed behind her.

<Come on, Merla. Our paladins need to learn to fight together as a team,> Ryou said, leading her and the others back to the viewing room.

<Well they can learn to fight as a team with me!>

<Another time. Right now they need to focus on bonding with one another.>

By the time they made it to the room, all the paladins were on the floor and Allura was lecturing them.

<Aw, we missed everything!> Pua whined.

<How come we couldn’t come to dinner? I want to eat.>

<Trust me, Pua, space food is disgusting and/or tasteless compared to Earth food. We aren’t missing much,> Merla sighed, slumping against the door to the dining room.

She frowned as she heard the paladins gasp and Lance yell, “Hold the phone!”

<Hey, I think something's happening!>

The rest of the pride joined her at the door to listen in.

“I saw a lot of solid individual performances today, but you're still struggling to work as a team. So, welcome to the final bonding exercise of the day.”

There was groaning and clunking noises.

“Coran, I want you to think about what you're doing.”

“This one's a classic. You get to feed each other, like a pack of yalmors!”

There was a few moments of groaning and grumbling before Hunk yelled out in pain.

<What are they doing in there?> Chip asked.

“Sorry,” Lance said before shouting, “Ew!” A moment later he added, “Oh, nice. You defiled my food goo!”

“It's your fault! This is ridiculous,” Keith shouted back.

“Do Earthlings ever stop complaining?” Allura growled.

<Not in my experience!> Merla called with a chirp.

“Can't you just give us a break?” Shiro implored. “Everyone's been working really hard today.”

“Yeah!” Keith shouted. “We're not some prisoners for you to toy with, like… like…”

“Like a bunch of toy prisoners!”

“Yes! Thank you, Lance!”

<Did Keith just thank Lance?> Pua gasped.

<My cub’s growing up!> Merla joked.

“You do not yell at the Princess!”

“Oh, the princess of what? We're the only ones out here and she's no princess of ours!”

<Oh snap! Great one, Pidge!> Merla yowled, hoping at least Keith would hear it and relay the message.

<Merla, don’t encourage their fighting!> Ryou admonished.

“Go loose, Pidge!”

<Wait, what’s going on?> Blue asked. <What’s that sound?>

“Oh, it's on now.”

<I think they’re fighting,> Chip replied.

<We’re never going to form Voltron,> Merla sighed. <I’m going to go find somewhere to take a nap.>

<I’ll come with you,> Blue said, nuzzling the cheetah.

As the two walked away, Pua turned towards the kitchen. <I’m going to go find some food.>

<I’m going to go explore. There’s so much of the castle we’ve never gotten to see stuck in our hangers. Wanna come, Ryou?>

The liger glanced at the door to the dining room, where the sounds of a fight could still be heard. <Sure, why not.>

And then the paladins come out of their bonding time, ready to form voltron, only to spend the next two hours tracking down their cats.