#i had a bit of an art crisis in the middle of the year and then i had reached enlightenment in november
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Zelda goes mushroom girl
#tloz#a link to the past#zelda#link#my art#I was happy with that first one but for some reason decided it still needed a companion piece so I spent way too long on that second one...#I don't think there was any time during the progress where I was happy with it but hfduhdfu at least I got to Attempt drawing moss hell yea#I also at some point sat in Pyu's art stream and said I enjoy drawing legs As I was being murdered by the infamously impossibe (imo) squat.#it's ok I had fun !! but I need to learn how to let doodles be doodles or I'll never finish stuff at this rate dfsuhfd#if everything in my tloz tag looks like it was drawn by different people uuuh 2023 was art crisis year ngl......#I'm falling back into my old ways rn though#anyway I think about these two a lot I think they're both stone faced and awkward ppl in different ways but they try rly hard to be friends#like I like to think it starts out so incredibly awkward and a bit sad bc they keep stepping over each other's toes accidentally the harder#they try but idk they find comfy middle ground idk in my brain they have a very interesting friendship I wanna get around to drawing it#in a proper way that might make sense....#if I don't write 200 tags I will die maybe it's bc I grew up on dA or smth#and yes I know how to find 1 (one) type of mushroom /I/ am not mushroom girl unfortunately smh
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Yay I finally managed to make my 2023 art summary! First half of the year was a little disappointing looking back (in terms of both amount and quality). I think I managed to make more personal work this year, thankfully, which is what I wanted last year
#i think i had more examples to use this year compared which is good#esp the latter half of the year#in terms of improvement? i am starting to draw backgrounds..#i dont even think i have a 2022 art summary good lord (i think its bc i did mainly comms and barely any personal art...)#i also started making my own merch which is a step forward! ive been meaning to make them since 2021#itll arrive either tomorrow or thursday. ill share them when i get them#this year has also been less consistent in terms of art style. i wont say if thats good or bad#i had a bit of an art crisis in the middle of the year and then i had reached enlightenment in november#which is that i will stop gaf abt the amt of other people liking my art#i want to be those niche artists who stick to their own lane and post their 50 million merchs of their fav ship. that will be me!!!!!!#im having a junmui plush manu'd in jan so im excited#i also plan on making photo holders and standees and etc etc later on#art summary#munch art
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[wip!] the art & science of parenting || jay park
update: this fic's been posted!! click here to read!
a/n: hellaur everyoneeee here's a lil summary & drabble into another wip i'm working on rn,,,i had this idea in the back of my head for SO incredibly long (im talking since 2021 pls) and decided to finally go for it :') so here's a lil peek for the time being to prove i'm still alive heh. i hope you guys like this concept,,,idk why but i really envisioned jay in this trope maybe because i plan on making it very fun & lighthearted but mixed in with some serious & angsty tones...we shall seeeee....you know i love my college!aus and e2l!aus heheh anyways saur sorry im yapping now! lmk what you think & if you want to be tagged !!
genre: jay x female!reader, fluff, comedy, college!au, enemies to lovers!au, parenting!au (parenting a robot baby LMAO), sum angst maybe, both reader & jay are smartasses who don't know how to communicate and confront their feelings , also a bit of photographer!jay :')
summary: The Art & Science of Parenting 101 (PSY1009) – In this interactive course, students will explore the psychological, social, and biological foundations of parenthood. Through a mix of theory and hands-on practice, you'll master the art of raising a simulated baby—aka the 'robot child.' Late-night feedings, tantrum taming, and crisis control are all part of the deal. What you didn’t expect to be part of the deal? Getting paired with Jay Park—the last person you’d trust to raise, well, anything. You’re pretty sure he couldn’t even take care of a pet rock. Now, you’re stuck co-parenting this robot baby together for 40% of your final grade. Warning: Sleep deprivation is guaranteed. And maybe, just maybe, some unexpected feelings for your disaster of a partner. Good luck!
longer drabble under cut! <3
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・.・
"Y/N and Jay."
Wait. What?
Your head snaps up so fast it's a miracle it didn't pop off your neck and roll away.
You blink. You must have misheard.
"Y/N and Jay," Professor Kim repeats as if she could read your confused expression, voice too nonchalant for the life-wrecking news she's about to deliver: "You two are partners."
The words hit you like a bus. No, not even. The words hit you like a bus driven by a T-Rex that flips over, crashes into a building, and explodes into a million ashy pieces. And there you are—standing right in the middle of the wreckage, somehow still alive to suffer through every second of it—while Jay, smug as ever, whips around in his seat to face you.
And of course, there it is: that look of his that screams 'This is going to be so much fun for me, and so much pain for you.'
"Guess we're parents now, Y/N!" Jay chimes, his voice dripping with so much sarcastic enthusiasm you swear he just got handed an Oscar for Most Annoying Human. If that tone were a substance, you'd bottle it up and use it as insect repellent. On him. Repeatedly.
You blink at him, you're sure—you're praying—this has to be some elaborate prank. Maybe Jay bribed Professor Kim with his rare attempt at turning in an assignment on time just to mess with you. Or maybe the universe just hates you and this is your karma for stealing your roommate's last ramen packet that one time a year ago.
But no, Professor Kim keeps rattling off other pairs like it's business as usual, as if your entire academic career and sanity isn't currently being flushed down a metaphorical toilet, while you sit there, paralyzed, your brain rapidly melting into a useless puddle from the sheer thought of being paired with him.
"What's wrong, Y/N?" Jay teases as he leans over the back of his chair towards you. "You don't want to play house with me?"
You narrow your eyes at him, mentally wielding your imaginary bug spray like it's a holy weapon. "I don’t," you reply flatly. "In fact, I’d rather perform open-heart surgery on myself with a plastic spoon than co-parent with you."
Jay’s eyes light up as his hand goes to his heart. "Aw, you really know how to make a guy feel special. This is why I like our little relationship, you know?"
"Relationship?" You scoff loud enough to make the people sitting three rows behind you to glance in your direction. "The only thing we have in common is a shared oxygen supply."
"See, that’s the spirit," he says, turning back to face the front like he didn't just ruin your life. And somehow, that pisses you off even more. Is it his voice? His stupidly perfect hair? The fact that he breathes in your general direction? At this point, he could literally sneeze, and it would still feel like a personal attack.
Is it too late to switch majors? Or schools? Maybe even countries? Surely, restarting your entire college career as a super senior would be better than spending the next six weeks parenting with Jay. Jay Park, who has probably never held anything more fragile than a Red Solo Cup.
Jay Park, who is just sitting there, all calm and collected, clearly loving every second of your misery.
While you're frozen in pure, unadulterated horror.
Your grade? Plummeting as we speak. Your robot baby? Probably going to need therapy by day two. And you?
You're screwed.
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・.・
decided to go for a longer sneak peek than usual bc im very excited about this one heh :) i also changed up my title image formatting..trying out smth new !!!
lmk if you want to be tagged!
<3, addie
#enhypen#enhypen imagines#enhypen fics#enhypen scenarios#enhypen oneshots#enhypen jay#jaypark#enhypen jay park#park jongseong#jay park#enhypen fluff#enhypen angst#enhypen x reader#enhypen jay fluff#enhypen jay angst#enhypen jay fic#jay park x reader#enhypen jay imagine#enhypen jay oneshot#jay fluff#jay park fluff#iland#iland jay park#iland jay#iland imagines#jay#kpop#college!au#enhypen jay x reader#jay x reader
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Quotes from the novelisation
So the Target novelisation is out! Highly recommend it, an extremely good time that somehow gives us a ton of backstory on Rogue while also still leaving things very open for fic.
A selection of quotes I highlighted on my way through:
The Doctor being horrendously into Rogue
The Doctor was now walking in the gardens with Rogue beside him, his new favourite brooding stranger.
He looked back at Rogue, walking, brooding (of course), and had to remind himself that this was an interrogation, not a date.
Sure, the Doctor couldn’t deny, Rogue was incredibly handsome.
The Doctor was suddenly very conscious that their hands were almost touching.
Rogue grabbed the Doctor’s arm and moved him with ease to the middle of the small metal pieces. ‘Stand there.’ The bounty hunter’s strong, the Doctor thought. Confirmed.
The Doctor could already feel people starting to turn and whisper but his focus wasn’t on that. All he was thinking about was Rogue. Rogue’s hand on his shoulder, his chest. Rogue’s eyes locked with his as the pair of them turned and twirled across the floor.
More below the cut: some of these get very spoilery including for the very end of the book, so don't click if you don't want to know.
Rogue being horrendously into the Doctor
His gorgeous brown eyes beamed up at Rogue from the middle of the crowd. For the first time in a long time, Rogue felt that jolt of electricity when you meet that person. That next person who might be the one to change your life.
the main thing that impressed him was how stylish it all was. How well placed and how welcoming. Rogue had only known the Doctor for one night, but it was clear this ship was perfectly made for the person who travelled in it.
‘I know.’ Rogue smiled at the kind, brilliant, amazing man in front of him.
Rogue felt another jolt of that electricity as their arms almost touched.
He wondered how long he would have with this new and wonderful stranger, and then also why he was troubling himself with the thought at all.
He’d not been asking the Doctor for marriage, but for some simple commitment. A sign he should stay longer than this one adventure. To see those worlds he’d promised. At least for a little while. Now he couldn’t stop wondering how much of their connection was real and how much had been for show.
Socially anxious king
It was then that Rogue emotionally left his body and started panicking a good 50 feet above the scene playing out below.
‘So, have you known the Duchess long?’ It was here that Rogue hoped the Doctor was his bounty because his small talk game was not his best quality.
Usually, the imaginary conversations Rogue had with [Art] were when he was alone in the ship but in moments of crisis sometimes, he would imagine him, a life raft in a sea of social interaction nightmares.
‘Can’t I storm off alone?’ said Rogue. ‘I would rather not talk in front of this many people.’
I had to stop and compose myself for a minute
‘Don’t blame me! De Lacaille chose them! Great astronomer, bad with names.’ Then he smiled cheekily. ‘But if it’s romance you’re after? He also named those stars there the pump, the chisel and Norma.’ Okay, he was flirting now. Ruby would be furious with him if this silly side quest was what got him killed.
‘Not what I’m after,’ replied Rogue, his tone back to matter-of-fact but his face blushing a little.
["the pump"]
**
Rogue had met many dreamers and magicians in his travels. It was surprising how many had bounties on their heads; he immediately recalled quite a complicated winter with Houdini.
[...WHAT. Was this the winter after the Doctor's long hot summer?? What a year Houdini had.]
**
On the banks of the pond, the pair of them dragged themselves out. Rogue’s shirt was stuck to his body; the Doctor’s was the same. They were both drenched through. They looked at each other and laughed. ‘Okay, Ruby was right, this is a bit Mr Darcy.’
[I know the odds of this having been filmed are almost zero, nobody's letting Jonathan risk his voice jumping into a pond in Britain at night in May, but #releasetheherroncut]
**
[Rogue imagines a letter in which his dead love Art gives a potential new relationship his blessing] Please give him a hug from me and do not name a child or dog in my memory when you move in together. A cactus is fine, though. [Almost put this in 'Rogue is horrendously into him' but the 'WHEN you move in together' had me putting the book down for a second. Also that Rogue is contemplating what they should or should not name their future dog OR CHILD.]
Just pure romance
[on seeing the ship] Oh, Rogue, he thought. What happened, love?
**
Rogue just stared in awe, taking in the Doctor, all of them. ‘You’re beautiful,’ he said.
**
Rogue slowly opened his arms, and the Doctor fell into them and sobbed. ‘I’m sorry,’ Rogue said over and over.
**
Rogue looked into the Doctor’s eyes and knew that he would never stop caring. Could never stop wanting to help, to fight, to go on. That was who he was. The Doctor let go of Rogue’s hand and climbed in through the window, and Rogue did what he knew he would do for ever.
Follow him.
**
Then he stepped forward and wrapped the Doctor in his arms and kissed him. It was a soft, passionate kiss, full of promise. The moment was tender. Romantic. It was theirs.
**
As he fell, his mind had one, clear thought. Worth every second.
**
The Doctor just kept smiling, keeping his eyes on the sky. ‘At least we got to live and love together a bit. Exist.’
**
Of all the timelines they could both have inhabited, Rogue was grateful that their eyes had met on this one. What a great surprise that had been from the universe. Yes, right now, he was lonely, but time wasn’t linear, and this was his favourite thing about it. Rogue was sitting in this cave, but he was also walking with the Doctor in the garden, he was laughing with Art in the Yossarian, he was falling from a building, he was running from one memory of his life to another. All at once.
Rogue was in the Doctor’s arms, spinning around and around, for ever.
#doctor who#timerogue#target novelisation#this isn't even all of them! I keep remembering parts I missed!
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i do not know if you are taking requests or not ,, so im sorry for requesting if you are not and just ignore this please 😭💗💗💗
but if you are,,is it possible to have the demon brothers finding a breath taking sculpture of them in mcs room made by their hands ( sculptors are just *chefs kiss* ) maybe the bros weren't sure about confessing but this was the final straw?
SCULPTURES
There's a sculpture sitting on your desk and it looks an awful lot like him.
a/n; sorry this took me ages anon, i have no excuse aksjdh though, i was unsatisfied with how i wrote this so i had to restart like four times...
Lucifer is taken aback
throughout all his years of living he’s seen many portraits and sculptures of the like that try to replicate his beauty. many failed, many succeeded, and he can say for certain as he looks at the one atop your desk right now, that you have succeeded.
maybe it’s the lovesick part of him talking, perhaps he was just in awe at how incredibly skilled you are at your hobby, but there’s no denying the fact that his heartbeat has sped up and that he was more entranced by your work of him than he ever has been with the delicately crafted portraits from the celestial realm.
lucifer had always been on the fence about his feelings. he had many responsibilities under his belt, and there were other factors at play — excuses, every single one of them. perhaps finding your sculpture was just the thing he needed as the final push to tell you how he feels already.
Mammon feels his brain stop working
as soon as he spots the sculpture of him just plainly in the middle of your desk he gets mildly annoyed. of course he knew you were working on something, but never did he think it was going to be him.
it’s pretty. he’s never been a person to really care for the fine arts but when it’s of him, and when it was carefully and so meticulously crafted by you of all people, he can’t help but admire it more. a part of him wonders why you didn’t just ask for him to be your model — it’s literally his job! and then it hits him.
he’s a mess for the next couple days every time he runs into you. his ears are red, and he stutters over the most basic of words until eventually he just lets it out that he had found your sculpture of him when he came to visit and it was making him embarrassed because he’s been in love with you for so long and now you just had to go and make it worse. don’t tell him you left it out on purpose, he’s sure to blow a fuse.
Leviathan near breaks it
it wasn’t on purpose! and he catches it just as it’s about to fall, so crisis avoided! but now there’s another problem, and that’s him. him - who is so red in the face he fears he might actually explode within the next few seconds.
levi’s love for figurines is practically unmatched, meaning when he found out about your skills he was over the moon in learning more about it, maybe commission something from you… but he certainly didn’t expect you to sculpt him of all people! he carefully places the stone back on the table exactly where he finds it and scampers out of your room faster than one could blink.
don’t come into his room for the next year, normie! he means it! because if you come in then he’s going to for sure say something he’ll regret if you don’t feel the same way. maybe… you should help him a little bit with that?
Satan is at a loss for words
there are a number of things that he could say right now to vocalize his amazement at your skill and how deeply touched he feels, but all the words that he wants to say seemingly die in his throat.
he can’t help but admire your work forlonger than necessary, the fear that you might come back and see that he had found your work be damned. in fact, he would prefer that you came back in at that moment so he could tell you straight away what amazing work you’ve done.
he grabs your hand the next time you have alone time together. a smile graces his lips, casually brining up just how you really outdid yourself this time with your new piece. the flush that paints your cheeks is enough to make him spill his feelings right then and there.
Asmodeus can’t help but swoon
the curl of his bangs, the length of his nails, the flutter of his lashes — somehow you’ve managed to capture it all in your sculpture. he can’t even imagine how much time and effort (not to mention skill) this must have taken you, and he wants nothing more than to tell you just how fantastic of a job you’ve done!
it was entirely accidental that he had seen the sculpture, but then again it was hard to miss when it was just smack in the middle of your desk. with his curiosity piqued, asmo gives it a glance and immediately gasps upon seeing a beautifully constructed pose of him carved out in stone.
he doesn’t hide the fact that he saw your ‘little’ project at all. the next time you’re in your room he barges in with glee to smother you with appreciation, his confession spilling out the middle of it all. would you like to get a live look at all the features you couldn’t craft by memory? he’ll let you see those and more if you’re up for it.
Beelzebub thought you got it commissioned
unlike the rest of the brothers, he doesn’t come into your room often without permission, and unless you mention that you have a hobby in sculpting it doesn’t cross his mind at all that you’re the person who crafted it. it’s only when he sees the tools neatly tucked away in a corner does it really settle in that you’re the artist.
art isn’t something that has a place in beel’s heart, but even he can admire how much time you’ve put into this. there were days where you hadn’t shown up on time for breakfast and other times where you completely skipped dinner. He was worried about whether or not you were getting enough energy, but at least now he knew the reason behind it all.
his confession is purely accidental. he finds you the next day to tell you he hopes that now that you’re done with your sculpture that you’ll stop skipping meals. he likes you too much to see you possibly faint because of him. oh, and of course he appreciates that you care for him so much you would even sculpt him! it was really well done.
Belphegor thinks his eyes are deceiving him
he comes by your room practically every other day for a nap when the attic just isn’t doing it anymore, so how had he never noticed that you were making something like this?
his finger traces the grooves of the structure, admiring how there were no nicks or rough areas, all while trying to wrap his head around that fact that it was really him. it takes him a bit to remember you could come back any time now, so he makes himself comfortable on your bed as he always does.
when you do come back to your room a while later he invites you to cuddle like he hadn’t just walked in to the surprise you were planning to give him. that doesn’t matter though, if you want to sculpt him more after this he’s all the more willing to let you as long as you tell him why you picked him of all people. he thinks the look that crosses your face is adorable.
#obey me#obey me shall we date#omswd#obey me x mc#obey me x reader#obey me lucifer#obey me lucifer x mc#obey me mammon#obey me mammon x mc#obey me leviathan#obey me leviathan x mc#obey me satan#obey me satan x mc#obey me asmodeus#obey me asmodeus x mc#obey me beelzebub#obey me beelzebub x mc#obey me belphegor#obey me belphegor x mc#obey me headcanons
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fic I've posted since I was last on tumblr: a quick masterpost. remember to check the tags on ao3, since this is a super brief summary!
qi ye
a light to drown in (he yunxing/zhou zishu & zhou zishu -> liang jiuxiao, e, 9800 words) / As the Capital approaches a crisis point, Zhou Zishu and He Yunxing set out to spend an evening drinking together and trading stories, and Zhou Zishu fails to avoid the things he wants. / I had to make the ship tag for this one guys 💪💪
tian ya ke
our softest pieces (wenzhou, e, 7900 words) / Zhou Zishu made Wen Kexing want to do things he had never considered before. He was so loose and he wanted to be full so badly, and the idea came to Wen Kexing with a strange air of revelation: I could fit my hand inside him. All of it. / a first time fisting fic! mt also drew this; his art is linked in the endnotes.
spring blossom (wenzhou, m, 1900 words) / A spring afternoon on the road; Wen Kexing explores the scars the nails have left. / early post-canon exploration of scars & intimacy.
contact point (wenzhou, e, 439 words) / Evidence of life under the snow; points of connection between bodies. / a shortly post extra 1 ficlet about. hand-holding. amongst other things
closer (wenzhou, e, 2300 words) / Wen Kexing invites Zhou Zishu to fuck him for the first time: an experiment with an unexpected kind of mixed results. / an exploration of zzs's relationship to his sexual preferences.
tian ya ke but genderbent
memory is what makes you older (fem wenzhou & past zhou zishu/liang jiuxiao, e, 5000 words) / A house on the edge of a rural village, in the middle of a late winter snowstorm; memories of an old relationship; the messy possibilities of a new connection. Or: Wen Kexing and Zhou Zishu circle towards each other, despite the past. / modern au, also with related art by mt linked in endnotes!
the third passenger (fem wenzhou, e, 5000 words) / A year after the end of an illness, Wen Kexing takes care of Zhou Zishu's needa in a more pleasant way. A still-new life; a night train; to give yourself to another person. / a bit of modern au D/s.
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"About the Blogger" Meme
@all-inmoderation tagged me. I haven't done one of these in ages, so this was fun. Thank you .D
Star Sign(s): Libra (don't ask me about rising and all that stuff, I know nothing about Astrology)
Favorite Holidays: Christmas, I love the cosiness.
Last Meal: Fries from the new kebab place around the corner. Had a craving, but they were sadly a bit underwhelming. Nothing more disappointing food item than underwhelming fries.
Current Favorite Musician: Been listening to a lot of Alabama Shakes this weekend. The intro to Sound and Color is just sooo fucking good.
Last Music Listened To: The spotify playlist called Indie Rock Club, which turned out to be all of the music I listened to in my late teens and early twenties. Ripped me right back to that time. Wild.
Last Movie Watched: Wow, Piggy was the last movie I watched, I really need to have a new years resolution to watch more movies. Piggy is fucking excellent though. Loved it, loved it, loved it. Go watch it.
Last TV Show Watched: I'm in the middle of rewatching Babylon Berlin in order to watch season 4 and 5. All doom and glitter and the party and depravity that never ends, and Charlotte and Gereon are such engaging and complicated lead characters. Still love it.
Also watching season 2 of World on Fire, which is a fine show, though not nearly as good. But it does have Jonah Hauer King in it though, and I am a simple woman, let me watch that man having an existential crisis and I'm THERE. He looks SO handsome when he doesn't know what's going on, lol.
Last Book/Fic Finished: I've been struck hard by project moving, so I've mostly been listening to Agatha Christie audiobooks. The last time I moved, I moved into a single room, and by the time I moved was living in the apartment by myself along with all the new stuff I've acquired. It's been hellish. So cosy mysteries it is.
Last Book/Fic Abandoned: I was reading a biography on Robert the Bruce that I abandoned once project moving started up and I stopped having the bandwidth for anything too complicated.
Currently Reading: Klara and the Sun by Kazuo Ishiguro, excellent so far, which is not surprising, since I've loved all of his books that I've read.
Last Thing Researched for Art/Writing/Hyperfixation: Waltzing in the 19th century.
Favorite Online Fandom Memory: The buck wild hour long quarantine era chats with the Nabrina crowd in the discord.
Favorite Old Fandom You Wish Would Drag You Back In/Have A Resurgence: CAOS I guess? The Nabrina fandom is still one of the least toxic ones I've ever been in, at least the little corner that I was in.
I'm counting on a Batcat fandom resurgence once the next Battinson movie comes out in like 500 years (sob!)
Favorite Thing You Enjoy That Never Had an Active or Big "Fandom" but You Wish It Did: Oh so many things. Fandom culture is brutal these days because people are moving on so fast. Like the Little Mermaid came out this spring and it seems mostly dead already. Or perhaps people are just in other places that tumblr?
Tempting Project You're Trying to Rein In/Don't Have Time For: Everything? Lol. Between trying to paint my new flat and christmas and some family stuff going on it feels like I don't have time for anything at all right now. Including the self-indulgent smut fic that I'm writing for the Little Mermaid at the moment. But that smut fic is my happy place at the moment, so I must persist!
tagging @robertdeniroimdb @bugsysiegels @raxiesrot @gothamsgaygirlgang @imaginejolls @deadgirlsupremacy @sweet-reverie along with anyone else who'd like to have a go
#I desperately need to be more settled in this apartment#or you know just get more comfortable with the mess#so that I can get back to the fun stuff in life
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You know what I absolutely love about being where I am in my career?
I can consider myself to have "arrived." I can stop striving to do extra sh-t no one cares for simply for the line in my resume, simply so I could get to the next stage.
I suspect this might not be the case in other countries, but when I entered high school at fourteen years of age, I was quickly made to understand that if I wanted to get into a good college, it was not enough to simply do my schoolwork and do it well. Even if I took all the advanced classes and aced every standardized test. I had to do "extracurriculars." I need to have "leadership." I needed good recommendations. Extracurriculars could be anything from sports, to music, to art, to clubs such as debate and newspaper, and ideally, it was not enough to simply be a part of them. It was best if I was a leader, if I took part in competitions, if there was a tangible product I could show off, an outcome I could discuss in my personal statement and in interviews, which were a common part of the college application process.
(Frankly, as an aside I think this ridiculous attempt at evaluating the "whole person" is a bald-faced racket that privileges the already privileged, but that's a story for another day. By the way, if you have a job in high school to pay the bills, such as waitressing or cashiering, no one is going to be impressed with that. If has to be some sort of unusual job that proves how much of a go-getter you are, but was probably given to you through connections. And sports/music/clubs cost money and time you're never compensated for).
Well, it took me less than two years to realize I wanted to do exactly none of any of the above. I was a good student, and I was happy to give it my all academically, but all I wanted at the end of a day was to go home and nerd out with my friends (mostly online ones) about my favorite fandom. I wanted to write fanfiction. I wanted to roleplay. I wanted to live with Frodo in Middle-earth.
Still, I did what I was supposed to do and filled my time with extracurriculars like a good "self-starter," and when I got into college, it was the same thing all over again. I could not expect into med school if I simply did well academically. I had to have extracurriculars again, and for best results these had to "prove" that I was truly interested in the medical field -- research, volunteering, medical mission trips, etc.
I had exactly one extracurricular in college that I enjoyed -- working for the campus crisis line. But my "resume" was a mile long, and guess how happy I was.
And in medical school it was the same thing yet again! It was less egregious, but enriching medically adjacent activities outside one's classes were highly encouraged.
And in residency, AGAIN, it was the same thing. If you weren't doing extra "optional-but-not-really" crap to pad your resume, you were missing out. They were a little more sane about it, but still, it was there.
And finally, I am at the end. I've got my "real doctor job." I can see patients and go home. This is what I've always wanted -- to perform a set of functions, maybe even highly advanced and demanding functions, and go home, and do what I want. Which is, you guessed it, nerd out online about my favorite media, watch said media, and write fanfiction. Does this make me a tool? Yes, perhaps, but an expensive, highly specialized tool, thank you very much. The world runs on such tools as me, and I have no shame about it.
I am done pretending I have "leadership qualities." I lead my medical team, thank you very much, and that's more than enough for me. Do I want to be the director of our department, if the spot were to open up? No, thank you, no, thank you, no thank you -- it's only a little bit more pay for a truckload of administrative duties. When I was a leader of various student groups, I had more than enough of politics, conflict resolution, paperwork, and inane meetings. I've had more than enough hassling people who weren't keeping up, and offering assistance I was ill-equipped to provide.
Do I want to take on trainees? Hmm, try elsewhere. Do I want to be a beta user who helps developers of the electronical medical record software? Are you kidding me? Do I want to sit on a committee? Yeah, look for another idiot. I have better ways to spend my lunchtime (read: thinking about fanfic).
And it feels so good to finally be able to say no and to be free for a change.
(Importantly, none of the above has anything to do with coasting at work, "just wanting to get my paycheck and get out," or "quiet quitting." I am good at my job and take pride in continuing to be so. I give my all every day, and I'm always working to improve my knowledge and skills, because medicine is always changing. THOSE are things I am only too happy to work on outside of office hours.)
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For writer’s ask!
8 and 12
And also, will you be posting a compilation of your stick figures? 🔥
8. What piece of advice did you hear/read recently that’s been helping you to improve your writing?
Between tumblr and discord I am constantly soaking up writing wisdom from more experienced writers. Honestly, I pick up nuggets of writing knowledge every single day and I'm profoundly grateful so many excellent writers here love to discuss writing. Thank you, all of you, truly.
But my absolute favorite piece of writing advice I've heard recently had nothing to do with sentence structure, imagery, characterization or content. It was: "Trust your process. You have to trust your process."
Here's why I find that AMAZING. Behold GinFizz's Writing Process:
Create outline
Ignore outline - skip ahead and draft a bunch of specific scenes
Read scenes and think "this sucks"
Write second draft and connective tissue
Reread and think "this sucks even harder"
Have "what-made-me-think-I-could-write" existential crisis (pair with Merlot)
Revise outline
Rinse and repeat above steps as needed
Reread. Realize I haven't written anything funny in three chapters
Nineteenth draft: add funny
Giggle, believe I am mad genius
Reread, have "absolutely not genius" epiphany, throw out
Lost count of which draft - requires new chapter in the middle somewhere but "ah-ha!" moment, maybe?
Rewrite chapters around it so flow is better
Rinse and repeat as needed
So... here's to trusting our process, everyone! 🥂
12. Who/what is your greatest inspiration for your current story?
Ginny Weasley. I wanted to play with what was going on in her formative years when she was just a background character in Harry's story. IMO, she's not a sidekick to Harry, she's the lead in her own story and I wanted to dig into that.
But there are themes with this age I'm thinking about. When my daughter was young- toddler young- I watched her play with the full-length mirror in my bedroom. She made faces at herself, waved her arms, did dances and giggled at how funny she found herself. There was such an unselfconscious joy of her own existence, a marvel at the way her body moved and unabashed delight in her own being. I remember thinking "we don't get to keep that."
I don't know about everyone else, but for me, I lost it around middle school - around the age Ginny Weasley went from a confident kid who steals her brother's brooms and "never shuts up normally" to the girl who had such huge feelings she just…couldn't…deal (with all the squeaks and butter dishes and hormones that went with it).
There's a bit of "Justice for Ginny" inspiration here - we meet her at a time when girls start thinking there's something wrong with us - the whole age is full of cringe - and I wanted to write about that funny, brilliant, sassy, brave girl who goes through that shift, can no longer see (though readers can) she's magical, and how she reclaims herself, her power and becomes the popular, hilarious, forthright heroine of her own story.
Unfortunately, I cannot attach her stick-figure art. They are full of spoilers, but I'll put it all together when I finally finish the WIP.
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TW: kinda existentialist vent post?? Idfk. Just wrote it. Rambles. Family. Parents. Upbringing. Objectification??? Idk. Not anything super deep, I think. Kinda like a self reflect/shadow work I did unprompted just now
My parents do care about me. But I guess you could say they care about us in a health related way. They've always been obsessed with health foods, exercise, UV rays and all that, and I'm extremely grateful. But I do wish that they'd lessen off that and focus a bit more on emotional health, because I feel like that would've changed a lot. If they'd taken the things I'd said seriously, like my interests, things I genuinely wanted, my passions, for just hobbies that I could enjoy, instead of wanting some sort of "useful" or "healthy" outcome, maybe things would be different now. Of course they always supported my art studies, for example, but I'm saying more little things. Like, random thing they were really obsessed about, piercings. They believed that if you got them too young, like, before 20yo type young, you'd get cancer. There's literally no studies that say they're bad in the long run for you unless it gets infected and whatnot, but they're still all "I trust what a doctor told me thirty years ago" "I won't let you mutilate your body" "Don't trust everything you see on the internet" like??? (As if I wasn't one of the most secure, nerdy aware of online threats people out there) Anyway. If they'd cared more about my worries of physical appearance, how I appear to others, my online presence, etc, I don't think a lot of the bad years would've happened. I also don't think I'd be the same person I was today, which is another thing in grateful for. What I mean is, I wished they'd focus on my soul a little bit more. Not just my physical body and health. If they'd listen when I said I enjoyed things of my country's culture, where I've been all my life, grown up snf experienced, instead of having the narcissistic approach that their opinions reigned supreme. Idk where I'm going with this. I just feel if I had more room left to be open minded and enjoy things, I wouldn't have these irrational anxieties all the time. I wouldn't feel so much like I'm "wasting my time" if I wasn't told about all the things they'd done by my age, which they aren't even giving me the slightest opportunity to do since I went to a private school in this country, lived in the middle of the countryside, devoid of most contact from the world. Of course due to this lack of communication, especially during pandemic, I was gonna spend even more time online and away from my family. So I am extremely grateful for that since I have met some of the most amazing people ever through the internet. Just a few simple clicks away from changing my life. Anyway. Point is, I wish my parents had cared a bit more about me as a person, not as a body, or a vessel to achieve things, but more as one to simply stroll through life and experience things. I'm way too young to be this aware of all this, I'm realizing once again for the millionth time in my life. Usually the midlife crisis happens in your 30's, I think. I'm just hyper aware of my situation that if there really was any way for me to fix things, I would've done so already, because I've done every possible thing to help my situations and will keep doing so. I'm just stuck, and this kind of upbringing is one of the many reasons why.
#is any of this relatable???#interactions are welcome if anyone wants to say anything#interactions appreciated<33#tw vent#vent#vent post#tw? maybe#long post#awareness
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2023
I have kinda mixed feelings about this year. There were some low points, but then there were some high points too.
I was mostly busy with almost nonstop dogsitting sessions and zine work, but they really ate away at my personal time, especially during the middle of the year. On top of that, I kept job hunting for the first half of the year but it was going nowhere. It really broke my spirit, to the point where just thinking about job hunting made me feel depressed, and I needed to step away from it. All of this combined, I dealt with burnout, discouragement, feeling lost, and stressed to the point of developing a excessive hand-washing compulsion during the summer, which I'm still trying to shake off. I wonder if I also lost a bit of myself along the way, often not feeling absorbed in the moment.
And yeah, this low period also showed in my art summary for the year. I only published a few sketches if they weren't zine works.
That being said!
It wasn't until December that things felt like they were starting to get back on track. I finally got a chance to draw for myself again, and I think the interest I had in this showed in these last few pieces. I felt a lot more comfortable drawing these pieces. I was also finishing tasks in December when I wanted to finish them, and I'm now feeling more accomplished and less ashamed of myself.
On another note, we had great weather this year! There were no wildfires to watch out for (at least, that I was aware of), no nearby smoke or really bad air quality, and not much hot weather! Also lots of rain and cool weather in the first half of the year, it was really pleasant! It really helped with our drought crisis!
As for other accomplishments:
I went travelling for the first time since lockdown! (though even with official safety precautions being relaxed, I still continued to be careful)
I finished pieces for 5 zines: -DanganParty: A Birthday Party zine -Fly!!: A Haikyuu zine -Tsukuyomi: A Tokoyami zine -Celestial Night: A Sailor Moon zine -Wintertide: A BNHA zine
Started some serious cleanup, both at home and on the computer
Going to the cinema again for the first time since lockdown!
I turned 30, which does feel kinda weird because I certainly don't feel like I'm that age. I spent some time while I was 29 kinda fretting about it, but if it makes me feel a bit better, 30 is technically the last year of the 20s. I felt like more could have been done in my 20s that I would look more fondly on like I would for my first two decades, but then again I was dealing with hardship and then healing during my 20s (though it wasn't all bad) I can only hope that I can make my 30s more what I want.
Now then, onto the resolutions:
Image descriptions: Because my mind was preoccupied due to working on other things, I never got around to making any image descriptions this year. On top of that, I ran into a dilemma on where to put these descriptions (do I use alt text? or do I keep writing it in the text box because I hear the alt text can be buggy?) Hopefully I can find a solution and make good progress this year.
Language learning: I think I progressed well in my Japanese learning this year (I watched a video of a N5 test review, and I only got a couple of mistakes, so I think I qualify? Not a huge accomplishment, but it still feels good to pass some kind of level) I'd like to add another resource that involves writing or speaking, if not communicating with someone (that'd be a difficult goal, since I'd need to figure out where to find a conversation partner)
Storywriting: I'm in the middle of writing my next chapter for KalChi, though burnout created a roadblock for me. The chapter after that should be a bit easier though, so I'd like to get more than one chapter published this year. Also… I have another story I'd like to get started on soon (hopefully I'll have news about this in the 4th quarter of the year) I'd also like to try and find a proper website to put my stories on, such as Wordpress. I'm open to suggestions!
Other fun things: Find more things to do outside of what I normally do. It got a bit monotonous for me this year, and I was really itching to see some local stuff again.
Relax: This is the most important! I made this my resolution last year, but I didn't follow it at all, and I think I did worse this year in regards to self care. I really want to plan out my personal time better so I'm not either rushing to get a lot done at once or feeling bored out of my mind.
I also want to continue to keep up with friends! I think I did a little better this year, but our main issue was schedule coordination. But I feel like my ability to communicate has suffered a bit, so I need to keep that up too.
I want to remind myself that making an effort can make a positive difference and not to give up, so I'm once again adding a link to some good things that happened in the world this year: [link]
I have a feeling 2024 is going to be a big year, at least in the world. Maybe the same will be true for me as well, at least in a positive way (though I won't push myself too hard) So I also hope that you stay safe and take care of yourself too. I wish the best for you 💕
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2023 Self Check
Honestly, having an overall middling year where most of my troubles were my brain’s fault was kind of a breath of fresh air. Being out of commission for most of last year with a fucked up knee at least got me thankful every morning I can get up and walk around without a brace or cane. I don’t really agree with the doctors and my Dad that I’m “young” but I’m apparently still young enough I can heal. That said, I’m kind of let down in myself for letting depression and laziness get the best of me like, worse than usual this year. It hit kind of hard when sitting back and going through old archives of content and realizing that:
Sketch-A-Day was 2015 Eishi and Dixie was before that Revolver Knight ran from 2005-2008 or 2009
Meaning I’d basically failed to really deliver on any of the series/game/etc ideas I’d pitched from 2016 onward with the arguable exception of the dungeon crawler card game’s first version. If anyone was curious as to whether I’d touched on some of that stuff in the meantime the status of my Things right now is:
Angel Dust (The Gatty Thing)- Pretty much axed, as much as I love the character, it was kind of turning into edge for edge’s sake. The thing about Gatty Ling is I’ve had the idea of an erratic, destructive but adorable and well meaning character kicking around for ages but she’s kind of just a blank slate beyond those traits and I’ve tried to plunk her into like three completely unrelated settings with different origins. I was also attempting to kind of do a distinct art… sub…style with her stuff closer to a moe VN look, really pump up the cute to make the dark stuff pop, but well, Madoka already exists and the last iteration was basically Madoka with Robots. I probably wouldn’t rule it out forever but I’ve kind of been using some bits and pieces of the setting to flesh out the Plane Girls Thing
Revolver Knight Reload- I got like three pages into drawing a complete remake of my old webcomic, but kind of got cold feet from a combination of things. I didn’t think I was ready to take on another gigantic long form story, though I promise that the new version was *MUCH* more refined. Like Gatty, I wouldn’t say it’s *impossible* I mess with this, but I think I might look into something closer to a light novel with spot illustrations than a full on comic in the interest of like, finishing before I die.
Critical Heaven (The plane girl thing)- Still active, but having a bit of an identity crisis. It began as a ‘skirmish’ tabletop wargame then I got to thinking about it as more of a shmup-inspired duel game. The format of tabletop/print is also kind of iffy because I know people would be more likely to play it digitally and I have like, zip experience putting a substantial game project together. There’s also a more or less complete ‘campaign’ jotted half in my head and half in my notepad (putting it in a game with multiple endings would save me from deciding which ending to give it, hmmm.) But in short, yeah this is still being picked at.
Irrgarten (The Dungeon Card Thing)- I know I lead off with kind of the downer limbo thing but I’ve actually not totally abandoned this, definitely not the setting. Surprise, Radona is from this world! Really, I could probably bring this back pretty easily by revising the original game rules, the biggest issue we ran into play testing was that items didn’t ‘feel’ very valuable- characters were strong enough on their own not to need them. Maybe I can bump this up in priority.
There are probably other story ideas I’ve mentioned over the years and not followed up on, but characters from axed stuff do tend to surface in other projects if I’m attached enough to them. If there are any particular things that you enjoyed my work in or reading about in the past, do let me know. I’ve had a hard time motivating myself, so a nudge wouldn’t be a bad thing about now. Next year, I would really like to put more effort into having a regular “thing” to work on, maybe I’ll bring back some gag comics. Definitely plan to do more drawing in general because drawing one decent thing then going radio silent for two weeks leads to needing to de-rust like, every time. I’m a creature very vulnerable to inertia.
So, no promises here, but my goals going into 2024:
Put some time into practicing more ‘dynamic’ content like simple animation and game design since I have like three game making programs sitting around
Regular art posting, with a focus on improving quality and speed
Minding my health more since it’s easier to be active when there’s less of me to move
Establish a more regular streaming schedule since it helps me trim down my backlog
This kind of turned into more navel gazing than I had planned to be doing, but I thought this was a good time to touch base on some things since I’m back to posting here… well, okay, ‘regularly’ is a stretch, but there are a lot of things I’ve brought up before and not followed up on in a long time. If anyone has still been reading this- thank you, truly. I hope that with a bit more focus and less dwelling on the gnawing darkness in my gut, we can have some fun here again.
Oh, yeah, by the way- also been kicking around a top X games list I may get to posting soon, but may save for New Years Eve.
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I hate to uncover myself here like that, but I got some thoughts that may contribute a bit to whole DA genre and how studying in small, gated community or breathing aesthetic makes main characters go insane.
I'm not rich by no means, but I would say I'm comfortable middle class. I can sail, I can ski, I can ride horses and, as a 22yo, I've already been to 20 various countries (not even attempting to count how many cities). Additionally, I'm not American, so student loans don't really affect me. The point being, I never had to worry about working regular student jobs or earning money in any way. I didn't even have chores at home. I was always told all I have to focus on is studying and nothing more.
I was raised by a professor of arts from a big university and by family who discusses philosophy and literature at the dinner table and speaks languages. I already knew half of my current professors before I even knew where I'm going to high school, and at 16yo I was having dinner with a professor from Harvard convincing me to apply there. I got into classics master's program and since it's very hard major with not many job perspectives here, I'm studying in a very small group of fairly odd or pretentious people (there are less than 10 of us in my year).
Thanks to contacts and nepotism, I already got a few jobs in my area of study. I already partaken in publications and all. I've been to foreign exchange programs, and I'm already planning what I have to do to get a PhD. Your typical DA bitch.
I know I will probably stay at uni for the rest of my life, following my parents' steps, but as an extrovert, I realised how much I miss contact with people from the outside. Especially since most of the work I do in my room with nothing but Google Docs in front of me.
Now, with war, crisis, inflation, and my rich holiday plans, I decided to try some more stable and student appropriate jobs. I became a barista to earn extra money and some practical experience. I also started going to the gym in my neighbourhood.
It has been an amazing experience so far to "ungate" myself and break free from the kind of golden cage I was living in. A few days ago, it struck me that for the first time ever, I feel like like a real person. Like a real young adult, who has to work for things and who exists in the real word and not one of concepts and aesthetics full of detached intellectuals and big words. It's such a weird feeling, but in a good way. Like, I'm no longer expecting everyone to know who Jacques Derrida is or speak more than 3 languages. I like to think I'm more in touch with reality and in touch with myself.
So, yeah, in conclusion, I deeply believe everyone should try that, and living gated, elitist, academiac life can actually rot your brain in every way.
If Henry Winter worked customer service job for a week, we would have a much happier ending to The Secret History lmao.
#dark academia#the secret history#read it with a distance please#it's like half joke half rambling#nothing to overthink#just seen someone discussing influence of gated elitist community on characters of da books#I may have some observations here#also I hate losing bits of anonymity like that lmao#if we were villains
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hi! would you tell about your drawing and writing journeys? how you started, what inspires you, if there were any obstacles etc - everything that you'd like to share! ive seen some of your old arts and can say that you've made a great progress, also some color scemes that you choose for your arts, like red/pink/white are very beautiful ヽ(*・ω・)ノ
Ah thank you so much for such a kind ask!! (I'm writing this on my PC so I can't use emojis but just imagine a lot of hearts inserted here!! ^.^)
I'll try to keep this as brief as I can as I don't want to go through my life story and sound self important!
But basically I've been writing since I was pretty young, like middle school. I was lucky to have some amazing English teachers who always encouraged me and praised me! I wrote for English class and just for myself since I was like 12. At first they were just fantasy stories and then as I got into high school it became romance stories and fanfiction (that I never published). I have hundreds of pages worth of writing from my high school years omg! I'd stay up late instead of sleeping writing this stuff haha!
I also wrote some crack LOTR fanfic with a friend in high school and we published it but it got taken down eventually and has been lost to time.
I stopped writing for a while because I got older and life got in the way. Then in 2017 I got very sick with some mysterious neurological thing (and i'm sick again now unfortunately) and to cope I got into anime and manga because it was the only thing that held my attention enough to distract me from a pretty horrible health crisis.
I watched OPM as one of my first animes and then read the manga. I ended up just falling in love with Garou's character. As someone who was bullied by other kids and adults in my life pretty constantly I saw A LOT of myself in him and understood his anger and secret insecurity. I felt so much for him that it pushed me to start writing little romantic drabbles again in my diary. Eventually, someone showed me AO3 and I saw people writing xReader fanfiction which I had not heard of before but I was instantly hooked and decided to try write a silly little smut just for fun, just to try it out. I posted it on AO3 in 2019 and got an overnight very positive response and a couple of people asking me to write more. I was very pleasantly surprised, so I did! And then after a couple of fun smutty xReaders I started to write things that were more emotional, a bit deeper and I became very passionate about it.
We get so little of Garou's life and thoughts and feelings about things outside of his hero hatred and his bullying and insecurity that I wanted to fill in those blanks. I wanted to explore the depths of his mind and character beyond the desire to be a monster. Because of course he is very human and very insecure inside just like many of us. I also wanted to explore that romantic/sexual side of him and his thoughts and feelings about that since that's also a basic and huge human need for most people. So that's where my writing inspiration comes from! I feel very lucky and honoured that so many people have read my fanfics and enjoy this characterisation of Garou I have created.
As for the drawing, well I really loved drawing as a kid but I wasn't very good and it's not something I took too seriously even though I loved doing it. It wasn't until I got into One Punch Man and Garou that I became really passionate about learning how to draw. I wanted to dive into the OPM universe and create, create, create. I wanted to make Garou and other characters come to life through my art (and writing).
The ship I draw (Garou and Eiko) is based on my xReader fanfic "Love/Hate". I just fell in love with my own story so much that I wanted to draw it as well as write! So the two things have come together nicely in that way :)
For my colour schemes...I just really love warm colours, that's all I can say really haha! No matter what I draw I always end up gravitating towards the warm reds. It's like a habit/addiction I guess lol!
My ideas for drawings are a mix of completely my own original ideas and using memes or photos etc as reference when I'm feeling the art block. But I do love drawing Garou, light of my life, my love. I've probably done it over 500 times now =^.^=
I hope I managed to answer your questions! Please let me know if there's anything else and thank you again for your kind words!
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15 questions
@loulovehome and @oksfranta tagged me, thank you <3 let's over share a little bit
are you named after anyone? no, my mom randomly came up with the name
when was the last time you cried? uhm it was this week oh probably the last of us ep3 or I was just having a university related crisis
do you have kids? god no (stealing the answer from @oksfranta )
do you use sarcasm a lot? definitely yes
what’s the first thing you notice about people? I think the way they move around and their clothes not as in "I'm judging you bc you're wearing that" but as in I believe clothes tell a lot about a person like if they care about something more than another or if they have a small detail like handmade stuff or general preferences you can express through clothing and things like these
what’s your eye colour? greenish
scary movies or happy endings? scary movies are a big no so I'll go with happy endings but not all movies need to have a happy ending
any special talents? I'm good with my hands I think like I can watch and learn and do practical stuff easily
where were you born? in this little clinic that closed a while ago in the town next mine (yeah I know this probably wasn't the right answer but still)
what are your hobbies? drawing, painting, artsy projects, watching lots of shows and movies, complaining on tumblrdotcom, getting stuck scrolling pinterest
do you have any pets? sadly no
what sports do you play/have you played? I played volleyball for almost two years when I was around 13 and I loved it so much but I had to stop for some time and I never went back :( I'm way too shy to start again now
how tall are you? 165ish cm, I haven't measured myself in a while
favourite subject at school: art in middle school bc my teacher made us create a piece for every art movement and it was all about learning by creating, philosophy in high school of course
dream job: I have literally no idea pls don't make me go through another crisis with this question I'm trying not to think about this until after graduation. something art related for sure, illustrator or graphic designer. tattoo artist would be great too or working in movie production or animation
I'm not tagging anyone but if you want to do this just say I tagged you <3
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I posted 1,864 times in 2022
That's 384 more posts than 2021!
54 posts created (3%)
1,810 posts reblogged (97%)
Blogs I reblogged the most:
@medievalthymes
@ocopio
@stickyyong
@psikonauti
@pendraegon
I tagged 819 of my posts in 2022
#kinnporsche - 220 posts
#art - 168 posts
#cats - 98 posts
#killing eve - 55 posts
#his dark materials - 28 posts
#ygo dm - 25 posts
#all of us are dead - 20 posts
#sweet home - 17 posts
#dogs - 17 posts
#around the world in 80 days - 15 posts
Longest Tag: 139 characters
#you probably also annoy your followers when you liveblog your discovery of a basic tumblr feature that they no doubt already know all about
My Top Posts in 2022:
#5
okay so on one level i can appreciate that Casualty has Paula's baby taken in the same episode that Robyn finds out she's pregnant, especially with that moment on the two benches, with Dylan representing Paula's desire to keep her child, and Robyn so obviously not wanting to be pregnant...
but god, just once i'd like to see a character get pregnant, decide to abort, and be done with it. not every pregnancy on tv needs to be a drawn-out drama where the only inevitable option is keeping it!
17 notes - Posted February 7, 2022
#4
a really big part of me wants this kid to open the door to the roof - obviously, because i’ve spent seven episodes getting attached to this group, you can’t let them die now!
but then there’s another part of me that still vividly remembers being a 6-10 year old girl getting the shit kicked out of me on a regular basis, while the other students just laughed and let it happen.
would i have opened the door?
17 notes - Posted January 30, 2022
#3
finally started watching kinnporsche, and it’s only been a day but i already want five more seasons of this shit
30 notes - Posted June 25, 2022
#2
after all the shit he’s pulled, there’s something very lovely about watching gwinam lose his fucking mind from ear-ache
35 notes - Posted January 30, 2022
My #1 post of 2022
so my family’s got the funeral on (they’re not royalists), and while i’m not watching the ceremony, i did catch bits of the procession to the abbey. and i just...
look. i knew it was gonna be ridiculous. but i didn’t expect it to feel unsettling on two different fronts.
first there’s the obscene wealth and pageantry of the crown. ordinary people had their funerals cancelled today, out of ~respect~, and all i can think about is how much time and money those people had to pay in the middle of a cost of living crisis, that will now have to be done again because of rescheduling. there are people who might not be able to attend those rescheduled funerals because they could only get time off work/school for the original date. all of these ordinary people having to make time for logistics in the midst of their grieving. meanwhile, one family gets to take precedence over everyone else, on an unimaginable scale.
it’s insane to me how many people there were for the queen’s procession. not people attending the funeral, just people following the coffin to the doors. and all of these servicemen looking like robots, everything in perfect sync, from their steps to the goddamn removal of their hats.
but then there’s also the frequent close-up shots of the coffin. and it’s like. don’t get me wrong. i have no sympathy for the woman who was an active participant in the colonialist horrors that this country inflicted on the rest of the world.
but there’s something deeply grotesque to me about her funeral being a televised spectacle. especially with how many close-ups there are of the crown on top of the coffin. really hammers home, quite unintentionally, how utterly unnatural it is to elevate one family over everyone else. millions of people stamped down, and the people at the top are reduced to symbolic objects. whichever way you look at it, humanity loses.
171 notes - Posted September 19, 2022
Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →
#tumblr2022#year in review#my 2022 tumblr year in review#your tumblr year in review#over 200 posts about kinnporsche... and there's still at least two dozen posts of it in my queue...#also the royal funeral ramble being my top post?? knew it was coming but i'm still surprised by it somehow#also just realized all five of my top posts are about tv shows or televised events...#i really need to boost up the numbers of dogs on this blog though the disparity between cats and dogs makes me sad#also yes i realize probably nobody cares for a long post of my stats but. tough.
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