#i dont know why im posting this like 5 minutes before i go to sleep but ok

[junk-culture]

ive been vaguely wondering if im autistic for like the past year or more but now that i have a job i feel even less motivation to go and get a diagnosis bc whatevers up with me if anything is obviously not something that prevents me from like working and stuff so i dont critically Need to know. so like whatever i guess. neither confirming nor unconfirming the allegations but an ambiguous third thing.

[icarusredwings]

The Master does things in 4s.

A headcanon.

"Elaborate"

Oh, I will.

Tapping, knocking, steps, snacks, kisses, etc.

He's spent the last thousands of years with this beat in his head so subconsciously He's picked up some bad habits that revolve around it.

In this essay I will be-

I can argue that Simm is the worst off and that the poor guy is constantly having fits about things not being in 4s. The prime minister demands that all of his meals be in 4s. Theres only three pieces of chicken? No. He wants 4.

He doesn't sleep unless it's 4,8, or 12 hours, no in between, and gets upset if woken up at 6 or 10 hours. We already know about the tapping, but it's how he knocks on doors, how many steps he takes at a time, how he eats his snacks in rations of 4 8 12 16.

You can give him 16 chicken nuggets, but dont you DARE give him 17. He's actively flipped tables before because of this, and if he really is tired or masking, he will only eat the even number and throw the odd one at someone.

Dhawan snaps and claps in sets of 4. He humms it sometimes on beat to self soothe. His hands flap when he can't have something in 4s and religiously gives everyone 4 ice cubes in their tea. The tea gets steeped for 4 minutes or 8 minutes. He'll explode if you ask yours to be steeped for 5 6 or 7. He also has 4 books on the bedside and 8 by his desk.

Missy likes to hear her heels click 4 times as she walks and will purposly take smaller steps just so she can land on a multiple of 4. 4 tea sandwitches, 4 types of lip stick, 4 pieces of jewlery.

She even swings her umbrella 4 times when bored. Hers is a lot more tamer compared to the boys because women with these disorders often are less "hyperactive" and less likely to make a scene than men are. (Statistically)

Hell, even Sax subconsciously has an issue with it while living with 14. He applies his eyeliner twice on each eye to make 4. He forces 14 to kiss him in sets of 4, he constantly is arranging the pillows on the bed to only he 4 of them, and well- theres something else with 14 but im going to keep this post PG 13.

Now he can have 2 of things instead of 4, but some things (that don't hurt anyone) are still allowed to be 4s OR more. For example, the pillows on the bed, kisses, and ice cubes in his tea. He can now handle there being 6 pillows instead of 4, receiving a multiple of 2 kisses (10/16) instead of 4s(8/12). You have to have it on an even number, though, or he'll force another.

He doesn't know why. He just DOES. And he won't tell you "because of the beating" because to him, it's all done unconsiously-

"There needs to be 4 pillows."

"Why?"

"I- Look, I don't know, okay!? There just needs to be 4 pillows!"

But anyone with half of a brain cell (who knows about the drums) does. 14 knows and is slowly trying to get him away from emotional disregulation because of it by working towards sets of 2s instead. It's a lot more socially acceptable for sets of 2s to be done than 4s. Even regular humans want packs of 2 or dishes that comes with 2 of something, so it's a lot easier and less stressful for both the Master and everyone around him.

Now he doesn't cause a scene at McDonald's if there's a ton of ice cubes in his drink instead of 4. Thank god he doesn't count his food much anymore, either. It's why he's been able to put on a bit of weight. But still, if you give him 17 nuggets, you're getting one thrown at your head. (So 14 goes out of his way to give him an 18th)

Thanks for coming to my TED talk

[ataraxixx]

my piece on why i really like echo. i have ruminated a lot of these thoughts in my brain for awhile but i realized ive never actually made a public post abt it .. echoheads lets discuss extensively

see. i think we can all agree about the most common echo characterization. at least the one i usually see in fics? and generally most fan content. hes a happy-go-lucky guy whos a bit child-like or naive, very innocent and mostly just glad to be here and full of wonder and whimsy and etc. and also really loves zane and is very kind and sweet and etc.

i am not saying this is an incorrect characterization by any means . obviously. because hes literally got like 5 minutes of screentime and most of that is spent not talking so its really up to whoevers writing him how they want to take his character. but i also think that making him just. Fine with everything is a very underwhelming way to take his character. because he could be so much more than just. zane's brother who is innocent and silly. he can be innocent and silly and still have complicated feelings about his situation and existence yk.

i enjoy villain/antag echo bc it gives him a role in which to explore those complicated feelings as Himself. not as second fiddle to whatever zane is doing, but as a story of his own to come into his identity. because often times when hes included in fan content hes there just to be zanes brother and nothing else. which is so sad for him. because in canon thats all he ever was and all he'll ever be to his father. to zane. to the ninja. he's just the copy. the lesser version. he can never be his own self he will always be a derivative of zane.

like how is that not an interesting thing to explore. and how could we not think about the complicated feelings he would have about that. echo isnt stupid. he isnt incapable of having those kinds of feelings about his identity or role in the world because he is Literally Zane. he is programmed to be identical and he is in every facet of his personality and mannerisms a reflection of how zane was before he met wu/the ninja. when he was just a bit clueless about the world but not Stupid. just unknowledgable. and he was still capable of complicated feelings about himself because we see as early as episode 2 of season 1 he is wondering about himself and his role in the team and how he feels about the world. he isnt just content every day of his life to simply be there; he questions things and thinks about them deeply. why do fan creators often rob echo of this same capability and dumb him down to simply being child-like or incapable of complicated thought?

i always see him just. Fine with everything. and i dont think he needs to be a villain or evil or even violent to make him an interesting character. but i also think that anger and violence is a natural progression of the situation he has been put in by the doctor and by extension the ninja. they too do not regard him as his own individual, only as an extension of zane. which is literally crazy. because he is a whole ass person. they disregard his identity because its the same exact one as a person they already know; but he has no control over that. he didnt ask to be made as a copy of someone else, and now he exists, and he is forced to live knowing he was never his own person, even though he Is. Because he is Himself and he Exists and yet he isnt because his face doesnt belong to him and his voice doesnt belong to him and his name doesnt belong to him. the world decided he is someone else and he cant be who he actually is because someone else is Already him. like christ man. why are we sleeping on this and just making him like yayyy:3 im so happy i love everything or whatever. bro should be questioning his existence!

because i do think joining the SoG gives him such an excellent entry into both formulating his own identity while also paralleling harumi in an interesting way; for both characters in their attempts to create their own identities opposing the ones theyve been forced into, they end up only relating themselves to that identity anyway. in echos attempts to separate himself from zane he ends up relegating himself to hating zane because zane took something from him, an acknowledgement that he is a copy in the first place. their scrapped fight dialogue is so interesting guys. a discarded replica an experiment left to rust. should he not be upset that despite not asking to be made, much less in the image of someone else, he was left abandoned? that he was created solely to be hated by his creator for not being Someone Else? And now he is stuck always chasing after the shadow of that person because he was never meant to be his own person. only zane's copy. never as good as the original. and he has to live with that. its so devastating and good characterization and so interesting that i cannot pass up on it for simply having him be Guy Who is Happy and Innocent.

He is not stupid. He would definitely have less anger in his heart if the ninja got to him before Harumi did, but i think its so impossible that he can simply look at zane and feel nothing. that he can see the person who has cursed his existence into meaninglessness and just be like omg brother:3 because he is doomed to constantly be relegated to Zane's Brother and he will never be Echo to these people that call him a friend. He cant even use his own name he has to be Echo. because its someone elses name and not his even though it Is His its the name his father gave him. but hes not allowed to use it because hes not the original. and he is lesser. and he will always just be zanes brother and he will never be zane. and he will never even be echo. isnt that so fucked.

[baby--b4t]

hey pookster i’m just leaving this here because I know you’d do justice if you ever made it into a minific :3

kaveh absolutely LOVES horror/creepy things, especially when regressed, but alhaitham can’t do it. like CANNOT.

sincerely, 🐠fishie anon :3

OH MY GODS ANON YOURE SAVING MY WRITERS BLOCK RN (º̩̩́⌣º̩̩̀ʃƪ) im gonna try and write a quick minific in hopes that itll make me wanna post more and work on my bots. ALSO TY FOR THINKING SO HIGHLY OF ME- i feel like my writing is mid but ill try my best for this silly idea (its super late as of replying to this so sorry if its a bit jumbled or doesnt make sense-)

(fic under cut)

Kaveh was supposed to be in bed hours ago. 5 hours and 38 minutes, to be persice. Alhaitham had been counting. He did everything he though would work to get Kaveh to finally lay down, close his eyes, and rest, but nothing was working. Warm bottle, bedtime stories (he had read 7 different stories at this point), and even trying different stuffed animals and pajamas. Nothing. Alhaitham was exhausted.

“Hayi? Do da tree birdies sleep? Wha’ about… Oh! Wha’ about da creepy crawlies in da kitchen?” Kaveh had been asking nonsense questions like these all night, part of the reason he was still awake at nearly 4 in the morning.

“I dont know, Kaveh. What I do know-… Wait, whats in the kitchen?” Alhaitham began to answer before he registered what kaveh had said. He sat up in the bed a little bit and looked down at Kaveh. “What did you just say is in the kitchen?”

“Da creepy crawlies!” Kaveh excitedly exclaimed, a wide smile forming behind his pacifier. “Dey have 6 leg, 3 eye- BIG eyes, and are really teeny tiny. Dey walk around in da dark and eat da bread! Dats why it has all da holes.” Kaveh started giggling, his tiredness clearly showing in his speech.

Alhaitham felt puzzeled. More than when he was trying to figure out why Kaveh wasnt sleeping yet. But what was getting to him the most was the though of some spider-like creatures crawling around in his food while he didnt look. He shuddered, the thought of bugs in general making him feel gross. He rubbed up and down his arms for a moment, trying to get rid of his goosebumps, before pressing further into this. Surely it was Kaveh just being silly… Right?

“How do you know this? Who told you about these… ‘Creepy crawlers’?” Alhaitham asked as he tried to fight the tiredness in his mind. This whole talk took a turn that was not helping his already fatigued state of mind.

“Dey told me! I got mad ‘cause my sandwich had holes, and I asked and dey told me.” Kaveh explained trough slurred giggles and mumbles. “Dey very small, so is easy to make holes. I scolded dem like you always do for da holes…” The more Kaveh explained, the more Alhaitham imagined a ton of ant-sized abominations crawling around their pantry. He shook his head and tried not to gag.

“Kaveh, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but the ‘creepy crawlers’ arent real. You probably dreamt about them at some point.” Alhaitham tried to explain to Kaveh, but Kaveh didnt seem to want to believe it.

“What?!” He sat up in the bed with Alhaitham, jaw dropping and his pacifier almost falling out. “But.. But dat were so cute-“ He felt himself tearing up over the fact that the little creatures he thought were so adorable werent actually real. Alhaitham sighed, realizing that now he had to deal with a meltdown.

“How about you go to sleep so you can dream about them? Does that sound like a good idea?” He suggested as he tried to coax Kaveh into laying down again. The poor baby was so tired at this point he didnt realize that Alhaitham was moving him. It did seem to stop his oncoming waterworks, however.

Kaveh gave a small nod and snuggled back up with Alhaitham. It seemed like as soon as his head hit the pillow, he was in a deep sleep. That baffled Alhaitham. How in the world would Kaveh be so willing to dream about thousands- No, millions of little spiders in his food? If Alhaitham saw them, he would already have a match in hand to burn the house down.

However, Kavehs great big imagination never failed to impress Alhaitham. He just seemed to show it so much more whenever he regressed. A soft sigh came from Alhaitham, just accepting it. His little Kaveh would just have that sort of creepy imagination and he couldnt stop it… But he would still be checking the entire house for bugs when they woke up. No ‘creepy crawlers’ get to live rent free.

[baby-yaga]

yesterday, post burial, on our way back to the church to grab a plant, my mom told me, "love him for who he was, dont hate him for who he wasnt. thats the best way to go through life without baggage." and i get where she was coming from, but i dont think thats right.

sometimes people say that the opposite of love isnt hate, its indifference. i did love my dad. i also hated him. they never cancelled each other out. i can love him for his warmth, his humor, his intelligence, his gregariousness, and still hate him for his absence, the abuse, the neglect, how he gave so much of himself to everyone else but his 3 children.

im haunted by my mom telling me that my dad once told her, "if i knew then what i know now, we never wouldve gotten divorced." i cant even picture what that wouldve been like. there was a brief period after my dad left his late wife, where he was living with us again. my parents werent together, it was basically a roommates situation, and in all honesty it was the best part of my teen years.

we had all been through a lot. his late wife was abusive to pretty much everyone in her life, except when she was passed out on oxy. i was deeply resentful of my dad remaining married to her despite how horribly she treated my brother and i, and also him. when she passed away, we were all having dinner with my sister, and when my dad told trey and i what happened, i think it was really shocking to him that we looked at each other, and replied, "good."

but when he lived with us again, it was weird, but it wasnt bad. i liked having him around all the time. i liked getting to spend time with him for real. he picked me up from school, we ate dinner together, watched movies, i started going to the gym with him. we were living together when i went on my first date ever. we were living together when i came out to him. we were living together when i tried to kill myself.

but it didnt last forever. he moved in with a new girlfriend eventually. he kept it a secret, so when he moved in without telling me before hand, i was so mad. i wouldnt go over to their place, a duplex that was less than 5 minutes from our house. i wouldnt meet his girlfriend. i think i was hurt beyond words that he was breaking up our family again, but i didnt realize that until just now.

he tried to force it one night, wanted to ground me if i didnt come. we got into a tug of war match over my laptop in the entry way. i was so frustrated, hurt, i felt so un-heard, i screamed, "i hate you! i never want to see you again!"

he looked surprised. then, he looked devastated. he put down my laptop gently on the entryway table, and left without a word.

he called that night, and explained himself. he said something like, "a friends son passed away recently. i just dont want to lose our relationship."

i said, "im sorry that happened, dad. but i wish you wouldnt try to make me feel bad just because you feel bad."

he replied, "so im just supposed to feel miserable by myself?"

i dont remember what i said exactly. it was something to the effect of, "fine! keep making everyone around you miserable, until you have no one around but yourself!" i slammed the phone down. this was in like, 2008 or so, so we still had a landline, lol.

we didnt speak for 2 weeks. he picked up my brother to come sleep at his place, didnt speak to me, and then would leave. i didnt know that what i wanted was for him to move back in for good. it wasnt reasonable, really. he wanted to date, i think he felt weird about it while living with my mother, and also he didnt have his own room, he was sleeping in a bunk bed with my brother. so i understand now why him moving out happened. but at the time i was so upset hed kept it a secret from me. i still think that was the wrong move. if hed been open about it, given me some time to adjust without springing it on me, it mightve gone a little smoother.

anyway, the night i spoke to him again. he was coming over to pick up trey again. i started crying and threw myself at him. i said i was sorry over and over. i missed him so much. i loved him so much. i just wanted him to be my dad again.

he just held me, and rocked me back and forth. he kissed the top of my head and said, "its ok, its ok." we stood like that for a long time, until i stopped crying. i met his new girlfriend that night. they showed me the room theyd prepared, a bed and everything, for my brother and i to share. it was the first time id ever had a place to stay at his house. before, i was sleeping on the couch, or, when my step-brother was in basic training, i got to sleep on his futon. it meant so much to me.

i miss him. ive missed him my whole life, it seems. missing him isnt new. but this is different. it feels like theres an empty pit inside of me that i was positive was bottomless, but its somehow gotten deeper.

[birthday-of-music]

1-12 FOR THE WRITING ASKS !!! hi :3333

1. What font do you write in? Do you actually care or is that just the default setting?

uhm. i uh. write on the notes app. sometimes on word though and i just use calibri bc default

2. If you had to give up your keyboard and write your stories exclusively by hand, could you do it? If you already write everything by hand, a) are you a wizard and b) pen or pencil?

GOD NO I COULD NOT.. fun fact i never fixed my bad pencil grip when i was really young so i hold pens weird as shit and it hurts after a little while. english exam had me dying every five minutes shaking my wrist out and that was only like 600-700 words i think

3. What is your writing ritual and why is it cursed?

another fun story i used to write about a hundred words every night on my old ipod that i kept in my room before sleeping. said ipod was kind of halfway to exploding. like uh. that one “pillow” post with the dangerous battery. iwdont do that anymore though and i threw out the ipod everything is fine

4. What’s a word that makes you go absolutely feral?

I DONT KNOW UM. in general i have a notebook full of pretty words (ethereal, golden, eternity, that kind of like. overly fancy and poetic shit)

5. Do you have any writing superstitions? What are they and why are they 100% true?

uh. i dont think so im kind of basic

6. What is your darkest fear about writing?

i guess that when i post something people will hate it? like. outright hate it and say its bad and stuff?

7. What is your deepest joy about writing?

i suppose the opposite of the above but also sometimes ill look back at my writing from a year ago that isnt like. in my mind anymore and ill be able to read it and enjoy it as not something i wrote? bc ill forget i wrote it and then i get to enjoy stuff that is extremely catered to me lmao

8. If you had to write an entire story without either action or dialogue, which would you choose and how would it go?

oh dialogue definitely theres something kind of fun about writing stuff without dialogue idk what it just. is.

9. Do you believe in ghosts? This isn’t about writing I just wanna know

uh. nope not really

10. Has a piece of writing ever “haunted” you? Has your own writing haunted you? What does that mean to you?

UM. same as you all the bright places. also the fault in our stars. very clear what types of books i like isnt it. also this fic which is saying a lot because i dont care about genshin anymore but every time i think about it it hurts.

11. Do you believe in the old advice to “kill your darlings?” Are you a ruthless darling assassin? What happens to the darlings you murder? Do you have a darling graveyard? Do you grieve?

uh. i like hurting my faves but only if there is comfort otherwise i die inside. every time i write hurt no comfort i lose a bit more of my sanity

12. If a genie offered you three writing wishes, what would they be? Btw if you wish for more wishes the genie turns all your current WIPs into Lorem Ipsum, I don’t make the rules

i always wish for more wishes but lorem ipsum i could never… three wishes uh. one that every time i write a character i can characterise them right. two that when i proofread i never miss any typos. and three um.. the ability to have continuous motivation to write a multichaptered fic

[mildew-spirits]

TW: PROGRAMMING(?) RAMCOA, SELF DOUBT

As stated before in our first post, read with caution. I can not say if it is or isn't programming but incase it is triggering still in anyway please take care of yourself.

Ever since I made the first post I feel so disconnected. I can't sleep. I'm scared to sleep. Why? I dont know. I keep checking the post every 5 minutes and really want to delete it. I stare at it and reread it and I just think I'm fucking going insane. I hate when we can't remember or recall things. I keep hearing him say "God loves you" FUCK YOU. I can't even remember the location all we remember is that voice saying that. That's all. I'm so convinced it's fake. But it keeps playing. When we first heard it we repeated it over and over. I hate myself for doing that. There's this one alter who has been fronting more, who seems like she knows more then she's letting on but I don't fucking know. She's apart of the new area we discovered along with the two number names and the one alter who did the countdown. I'm just waiting for someone to come along and say I'm faking it, that I'm just letting our paranoid delusions get the best of us. This feels so much different and I hate it. We've been more jumpy, getting less sleep, and feeling more sick. I want to do more research but everytime we try to we either forget what we were doing, dissociate to hell and back, rapid switch, or get distracted. There's no way right... our ex friend, looking back at it now showed signs of programming too... I'm digging too deep aren't I? I feel absurd. I feel like im digging for answers so far down that there's no way. But it won't stop. Looking back at how our system works is weird too... we didn't have traditional roles and it almost felt like parts were missing. Our system is so divided into layers, subsystems, layers in layers and we hardly get to interact with each other. It's hard. And it almost felt like there were some parts who didn't want us to interact. That's so weird. I don't-. Our system felt too perfect. And not perfect as in "oh we had no issues". I mean perfect as in it seemed like every layer and space was made to be that way. It was created specifically for them. Our system has gone through many shut downs, where instead of dealing with something, it'll start over, new people, new areas, more newly complicated areas. But still organized. Still feeling like everything was carefully made there. I can't sleep. I'm not tired. I'm scared. I'm terrified. I'm ashamed. I want someone to tell me I'm delusional because I think that's better then facing the possibility that this happened to us. I want to cry. I want to scream. I want someone to tell me I'm making this up, I want them to tell me that I should stop digging when there's nothing. But I don't want that. This feeling won't stop. It won't. Things are flashing in our head that feel familiar that we are only just now seeing. We had came to the suspicion a while back that we did have trauma we had not yet covered. Please not this. God I don't want it to be this. I feel dirty. There are people out there who actually went through this shit meanwhile I'm here panicking on what ifs. I'm shit scared. I really am.

[poolofthoughtsbyclaire]

03/24 ENTRY: first tattoo

I remember telling myself that the first tattoo Ill be getting is the infinity symbol. Because it was our symbol. But on the day that I have decided to get inked, I changed my mind. I went overboard for my first tattoo and it wasnt a small one. But still, it was for her.

My tattoo was half sun and half moon together, kissing. I got the inspiration from one of the posts here in tumblr with this quote above. “He loved the moon so much, he died every night just to let her breathe.” I dont know how on earth I could relate to that quote that I wasnt the one dying. Or am I? I remember that time, we were on cool-off. I was rebelling against her. I smoked every day like nicotine gave air to my lungs, I drank like the alcohol is my blood and I skipped classes (or sleep during class). I played billiards during break hours on my uniform. I go to class late and I wouldnt mind. I’d have my ears plugged with my earphones blasting with sad, miserable music like Habits by Tove Lo. And I would not stop listening to full volume music during class. Honestly, I didnt cared anymore at that time. All I could think of is how to survive this shitty world cus I was just barely hanging on. I felt like a walking soulless body. Sleepless, heartless, numb, tired, little to no appetite, no will, really like no life. It was sad. Terrifying even. To be in that state not knowing what to do, questioning yourself if youll be able to survive, no idea of the future, like am I still gona be alive? I was killing myself.

The day I got inked, I hadnt slept that night because I was from my graveyard shift in the hospital. It was our hospital internship and I thought what a nice time to sneak out and sleep in your girlfriends house but no. Because we werent okay that time. It was a moment wasted, I thought. So there I was, right after I finished my graveyard shift, I went straight to the tattoo parlor and had me inked. I was with my friend at that time and she was getting inked too. Nervous, I let her go on first before me. We both decided to have it no our backs because we just knew that it wouldnt hurt that much in that part. She had chinese characters of her first born’s name inked and she finished like 5 to 10 minutes? It was just quick. Then it was my turn. We finished like more than 10 minutes I think? Well it felt like more than 10 minutes, because I was suffering. I was preventing myself to do unnecessary movements cus why the fuck do I felt like I was being tickled?! It was the longest 10 minutes of my life! I seriously couldnt stop giggling and twitching my body hence, the reason that my back tattoo looked like it was deformed HAHAHA! And it was such a bummer because I dreamt of having a full back tattoo. Sigh.

Anyways, back to the main topic. After that morning, I went home to get changed and I went to a friend’s house. Clue, this friend will be a reason of our cool-off again. I went there because she needed money, so being the gentleman I was, I went straight to her to give her the money and to visit her as well. I knew she wanted me to leave that time but I insisted to stay. So I ended up accompanying her in her errands. She paid her bills and after that, we took some time at the arcade and I watched her play the fish thing. Then, we went separate ways cus I think she told me that she’ll meet up with her mom? I dont know,I dont remember. It was still 4pm that afternoon and I didnt want to go home yet so I went to 4J’s. It’s a chill spot/tindahan/karaoke/secret spot near in our school. I texted a friend of mine to see if she’s available to keep me company and luckily, she was. So we went there and burned our lungs out. I think we were able to finish a box of 10’s in just one sitting. And we didnt even stayed there for an hour. The sun has gone down and it was my curfew so I went straight home after that.

At home, I’d stay in my room and never go out. My mom would even tell me that Im acting like a tenant and not a family member. But I didnt cared, I hate going outside my room. I didnt want to see their faces and never wanted to talk to them unless I needed money. Sometimes, if I still get sad and it felt like I hadnt smoked that much, I would light up a cigarette in my bathroom and just cry my heart out silently and stare at the blank ceiling till I feel the nicotine to kick in and feel numb. Then Id be okay. If you might ask, there’s an exhaust fan in my bathroom so I have no problems if the smell would stick around. I usually finish 3 sticks in my bathroom.

[coridallasmultipass]

Vent personal medical long post

Im so fucking sick of being in such bad back pain, nothing is going right for me

I was ready to go to the store for groceries bright and early, but I have to wait for a medication delivery which usually comes between 10-12. This means I have to be sitting downstairs the entire time, since I physically cannot reach the door fast enough if im in my upstairs room. (Even when I'm not injured, its been a problem!)

My mom, grandpa, and I all need the store. But I can't go, even if we take two trips (mom takes grandpa, comes back and takes me), because in the past when we had to do this, granpda decided to go hang out in the garage and not notice the delivery. So i HAVE to be home and ready until it arrives.

Its fucking bullshit that the online pharmacy REQUIRES signature for delivery (they didnt for my first couple shipments, ive been on this med for a while now). Its an ability issue because the delivery people dont wait around more than like 30 seconds. Its a convenience issue because then I have to block out my whole day just in case they come late. (I took a chance and made a phone appointment for 240pm).

So i wait all fucking day. 240 rolls around (my mom downstairs said shed listen for the delivery) and id been waiting in the only place i Know gets cell reception in my room and i dont get the call. 15 minutes later, I get a voicemail notif. Fucking great. I never got the call because i live in a fucking deadzone. I have to get up and lean over my counter and plants to get mildly better reception by the window (i am injured and this was extremely painful for my back). Appointment finished thankfully, but i didnt tell the psych how bad i am rn, because i did not have the energy to stand at the window longer than needed to get refills.

Still no delivery. My mom takes grandpa to the store. My back is all aggravated from sitting on the hard/no back support chairs downstairs all day (i cant go to the couch because its too hard to get up from while im hurting/its hard even when im not hurting because its got the footstool added onto it so its like as long as a bed)

So i sit downstairs more while crying because the pain is getting worse, but no one else was home so i had to. They return and my mom is like 'okay lemme take you now' uh, no!! Grandpa isnt gonna sit around for it. And also. Im hurting way too much, i physically cannot go to a grocery store at this point after sitting with no back support all day and twisting over my plants for the phone.

Mom says shell listen for the door again bc i cannot sit downstairs any more. I get maybe 5 minutes and my back starts to relax a little and my mom comes and goes 'i gotta go get gas so i cant listen for the door'

FUCK, MAN. WHY DIDNT YOU DO IT WHILE YOU GOT GROCERIES?! To top it off, she pushed in the chair i was sitting in (its extremely painful to twist! So pulling it out to sit is super hard for me!) I sit there and its unfuckingbearable i see a ups truck drive around our private street and leave, so theyre probably not coming today, and im in excruciating pain so i go back to my room crying and shaking lmao

My mom gets annoyed with me for complaining about the chair (AGAIN!) And rolls her eyes when i say she shouldve got gas before, like

Fuck off man i am in such bad pain i should be in the fucking er right now

If id known id be downstairs all day i wouldve taken a pain killer but its too fucking late in the day for me to take one now because i gotta take 2 different sleeping meds to get any sleep at all and i dont want them to interact

I fucking hate everything about this man

Oh, and i was gonna contact verizon support about being in a deadzone but it was like "lets fix dropped calls. We recommend: Call us now!" DID YOU NOT SEE THE PART ABOUT DROPPED CALLS. The only other option was to instant message and i dont have the spoons for that right now, i just wanted to send like an email ticket or something

Im supposed to be in a 5g area but its literally a deadzone in my whole house and property, no bars of reception at all, and this isnt a mountainous part of town! Ughhhh

I hate not having the ability to do all of this normally, having an injury is making everything Nightmare Mode difficulty. Having tmj treatment (teeth aligners and mouth guard) is making eating a Nightmare Mode task. Even chewing soft ramen was excruciating. I cant physically cook because of my back and im out of easy food (see: planned grocery trip for today which never happened) so its like. Okay. Guess im not having dinner. Especially not after how badly my back got aggravated today.

And guess what. Im gonna have to do it all again tomorrow now since the delivery isnt gonna happen today. Ill take a painkiller tomorrow, but the uncomfortable chairs is a fact of life i will not be able to escape, since i HAVE to be able to reach the door in like 30 seconds.

All of this couldve been prevented if theyd just let me get a no signature delivery. Its a private street no one comes all the way up to our house, like the only mail theft we had was at the mailboxes on the main street (before we got a locked one).

I COULD call the pharmacy next time to ask, but then were back to the issue of trying to make a phonecall from this house! I had issues last month where i couldnt log in to order my rx because they wanted 2fa and because i live in a dead zone i couldnt get the confirmation texts or calls! It SUCKS. (And i cant do wifi calling because our internet is shit and has like a 5 second lag)

Life has been so fucking miserable for me for like the past 2 months and the last 2 weeks have been even worse because of my back going out and its not getting better.

I cant get into physical therapy because the local place isnt accepting new patients! So like. Thats great. Dunno what i can do about that since i cant go out of town.

Im seeing the chiro but i couldnt get in today because i had the rx delivery and phone appointment lmao (also i was really hurting after the last visit)

Guess im just supposed to suffer lmao

This shit is fucking ridiculous and im so sick of it

The sad thing is that it could be worse. Its been a few months since my last endo flare up and i havent been able to stop worrying about that looming spectre either

That really would be the fucking cherry on top lmao

But the back injury situation is sadder because its something that CAN be treated, its just that treatment is unattainable for me due to living in a small rural town and not having a car. I dunno if i even could drive in this much pain tbh its hard enough being a passenger

So thats my vent. Things really fucking suck for me rn. I just want today to be over. Im in too much pain.

[kawa-kir]

It currently a little over 1:40 AM right now, wrote my thoughts about yesterday. Mostly my anxieties.

I've had a spur of productivity and made a few drawings and some new projects.

Polished a whole minute and a half of animationi that was meant to be just 8 frames.

I still dont know how these "5 minute adventure" projects end up becoming week long polishing-and-revising-and-polishing-again things.

I see animations that are, like, maybe 4 pictures if you count the one with a hastly edited cut out stock image hand, and then i try to make something similar, but it becomes this behemoth of a project every time. Smoothing out every movement, always animating on ones, that single pixel that appears for less than 0.1 seconds looks wack, better restart the whole 20 seconds.

I have so many of them too.

Gyros animation i've been working since june of last year, Maya, Otto, Charles, Abe, Bell and Polū drawings, fanart that i never finished, stories that i never ended, animations without frames, songs without melodies, tunes without purpose and its just...

Too much.

The anxieties of not making something good enough to show the world gnaw at my core while i repeat to myself in vain that it doesnt matter how good it is.

My attention keeps jumping from one topic the other, making maybe a frame or two before stopping completelly to switch a song from my playlist but oh wait there is a message about a youtube video on why some ants start walking in circles and that reminds me of a lemon demon song called Spiral of Ants and then i go to listen to his album only to see a meme and then i scroll down for half and hour and... what was i doing again?

Still.

Progress was being made.

Frame by frame.

Block by block.

At least im glad i finished one, i am still smiling about it now, even made a bit tune to go with it.

Maybe i'll start an album of bit tunes for my animations and drawings.

Already thought of a name.

All Planes.

Gonna make the cover art after some sleep.

Think im gonna start making drawings of my characters and just putting some lore in them.

I told myself i was gonna post everyday and stopped at week 2 out of 56.

But the year isnt over yet.

Gonna start making more pixel art stuff too. Not animations, just still images.

My brain works better with motion than with drawings, so i tend to make evem the smallest of projects an animation, even if it wouldnt fit.

Also funguary, said i was gonna do it and i will.

Pulling all the courage to tackle a beast greater than my inability to draw the same design twice: Digital drawings.

Last time i used it for real was i think in halloween 2022.

Rusty is an euphemism, so im gonna start slow.

Mushroom men await my pen and paper.

But first bed.

Thanks for reading.

[speedytimemachineblizzard]

**PLEASE READ AND PLEASE SOMEONE HELP ME** IM FEELING DEFEATED, Although HE IS CURRENTLY IN JAIL AWAITING A JUDGE FOR MORE DEFINITE SENTENCING, I FEEL LIKE HE WILL STILL SOMEHOW GET OUT WITHIN A WEEK, AS CRAZY AS THAT SOUNDS...ITS HAPPENED MORE TIMES THAN I COULD COUNT. REACHING OUT ON HERE IS ONE OF LAST RESORTS. I STILL DONT FEELL SAFE. AND NEITHER DO MY KIDS. ENOUGH IS ENOUGH! Praying this will finally be the time they keep him locked up, but not feeling too confident.

Karma AT it's absolute finest was served on the very FIRST DAY OF 2024 too for a certain person I know. Today was Veda's 7th birthday, but this certain someone decided he had wanted to celebrate his way. All of my tires are now slashed, so as a result of that and not having the funds bc of back to back December birthdays and Christmas, I couldn't purchase tires, we couldn't take Veda out to celebrate her special day. She woke up to cops having to be called. My friends tires were also slashed, also this person stole my friend's debit card and car keys. I could go on and on but 6 charges currently, most definitely 7 when he is seen by a judge tomorrow or Wednesday. He admitted to cops he knew it was Veda's birthday, and that was how he chose to celebrate With trauma and memories I know she will never forget. I did my best to make her day that much more special, but my mommy heart can't stop aching for her. This person was also hiding in my laundry room outside for many hours before he was caught. This person also, yet again, violated the restraining order I have on him. I think this is the 5th time now. The system fails me and my children time and time again, he gets away with everything, all the time. And will continue to do so because he knows there will be no true consequences for it. This event was by far the most malicious and I am even more afraid now than I already was. Some may say that me posting this will make him retaliate. Yea...he mostly likely will. But I've been silent for 4 years, no communication with the person and he "retaliates"regardless. And since the court system won't serve justice, I'm talking it upon myself to reach out for help/advice. I've asked for guidance from Victims assistance, cops, and unfortunately something like my life has to be taken in order for anyone to take any REAL action. I can't afford a lawyer, it's not possible or ideal for me to move. This has been our family home for 15 years. Is there anyone, or even anyone who knows ANYONE, who can help me keep my children and I safe from this violent person? How, other than him talking my life, do I go about finding someone that will hold him accountable? Why is domestic violence treated like a minor issue that's not worth handling. He gets a slap on the wrist and a free pass to go back out into the world, basically allowing him another chance to "get me" again. This has been going on for years. Plz don't send negativity my way, and plz no judgement for my decision to take it to FB...just know bringing it here was truly my last resort.

Tonight we ended our night with pizza and ice cream and presents.. and even when we sung happy birthday to her, my whole heart was just breaking for her. She deserves the world. She is one of the sweetest souls I know. Please send me in any direction that will help us.

Karma was he got arrested within 5 minutes, whereas most times, he runs away and GETS away. Leaving us terrified to even sleep at night.

[strawberryteaprincess]

The Class Group Chat: Part 2

(sorry for not posting yesterday. i forget date .-.)

20 03 Thursday

Alya: i need help

Alix: hey alya. sup?

Alya: anyone know how to solve question 5 on the math homework?

Alix: WE HAD MATH HOMEWORK????

Alya: -_-

Max: @Alya You need to use the Pythagoras theory to solve for c before finding the area and then using it to find the area of the rectangle.

Alya: ohhhh, thats what i do?

Alix: WHATS THE MATH HOMEWORK?!

Alya: pg 103 of our textbook, numbers 1-10

Alix: 10 questions?!

Alya: and they have kids

Alix: what??

Max: She means they have sub-questions.

Alix: DOES MADAME LAURENT WANT TO KILL US?!

Lila: actually, she's MADEMOISELLE Moulin now. She got divorced a few days ago.

Alya: SHE GOT WHAT?!

Max: Are you sure Lila?

Lila: at least, thats what i heard from aurore

Adrien: Hey guys! what are we talking about?

Alix: WHO KNOWS HOW TO SOLVE QUESTION 1A

Adrien: Oh, it's a quote from the extract on line 5 of the first paragraph

Alix: what extract???

Alya: Adrien, its 5.4 litres

Alix: THANK YOU!

Adrien: oh, you meant for the math homework

Adrien: I thought you meant the literature homework

Alix: WE HAVE LITERATURE HOMEWORK????

Alya: WHAT?! I DIDN'T KNOW!

Max: You didn't? I did.

Lila: oh, i did too but my rare illness needed a surgery so i was unable to do the homework

Adrien: oh the lit homework isnt that long Lila. im sure youll be able to finish it if u start now

Lila: ... thanks adrien

Adrien: anytime 😇

Marinette: why are all of you chatting so late 😑

Alix: MARINETTE, WHATS THE LITERATURE HOMEWORK?!

Marinette: um, i dont remember. pg 18 i think?

Alix: THANK YOU!

Lila: @Marinette actually marinette, its page 27.

Marinette: i dont remember being the one who asked

Lila: wow mari u dont have to be so mean

Alix: Wait, so what page is it???

Adrien: actually Lila, marinettes right. its page 18. u should check ur sources before giving Alix the wrong info. just some friendly advice :)

Lila: ...

Lila: oh, thank you babe

Marinette: COUGH COUGH, EXCUSE ME???

Lila: oh, i didnt tell u. adrien and i are dating

Adrien: no were not

Lila: yes we are

Adrien: no were not

Lila: yes we are

Adrien: no were not

Adrien: no were not

Adrien: no were not

Adrien: no were not

Adrien: no were not

Adrien: no were not

Adrien: no were not

Alix: STOP SPAMMING THE CHAT AND TELL ME THE ANSWER FOR NUMBER 1B!

Marinette: oh, well bi is sandstone while bii is convergent

Alix: ??????

Max: She means for the geography homework.

Alya: WHAT DID U JUST SAY?!

Adrien: wait, we had geography homework?!

Lila: oh, i knew about that one too, but i like i said, my surgery took a lot of time so i couldnt do it

Alya: why dont u stop texting and start writing then???

Lila: ...

Alya: u know what, why am i even online?!

Alya: Marinette, whats the geo homework?!

Marinette: page 54, numbers 1 to 15

Alya: FIFTEEN?!

Marinette: Mr. Lavigne gave us this last week. why have none of u done it -_-

Rose: wait! whats all this about homework???

Kim: wait, we had homework? 😨

Alya: IF ABSOLUTELY ANYONE KNOWS WE HAVE ANY HOMEWORK LEFT, TELL US ALL NOW

Juleka: has anyone else done the biology homework?

Alya: MERCI LE DIEU. something ive done

Alix: ERROR! DID U JUST SAY BIOLOGY??!!

Kim: WE HAVE HOMEWORK???? 😱

Marinette: yeah, its an essay on the alimentary canal

Alix: Marinette im freaking pissed right now so quit speaking chinese and tell us the homework in english

Marinette: -_- that was english dummy

Alix: MAX!

Alix: TRANSLATE NOW!!!

Max: Write a 200 word essay on the digestive system.

Alix: Lord have mercy

Lila: oh, i couldnt do that one either because of my surgery

Alya: WAIT, IT WAS 200 WORDS?!

Alya: I THOUGHT IT WAS 50!!!

Nino: why the heck are you all still awake

Alya: Nino you better not tell us we have more homework

Nino: more homework?

Nino: oh, u mean the ones due tomorrow?

Alix: TOMORROW??!!!!

Rose: please tell us whats due Nino!

Nino: wait a sec, im reading the chat

Nino: oh, well, all the ones you've mentioned actually

Nino: due tomorrow

Ms. Bustier: I just saw the notifications from the chat and decided that you students need a reminder. Please remember your Literature, Mathematics, Geography, Biology and Physics homework are due tomorrow.

Juleka: oh no. im not done with my physics

Marinette: wait, physics was the diagram right?

Marinette: i totally forgot! im not done!!!

Adrien: 🙀

Rose: @Juleka im coming to ur house. we arent sleeping tonight

Alya: @Nino I AM COMING TO YOUR HOUSE. UNLOCK YOUR DOOR!

Alix: @Nino PLEASE LET ME COME TO!!!

Nino: @Alix sure but hurry up, im locking my door a few minutes after alya gets here

Kim: @Nino can i come too????

Nino: @Kim sure, just hurry

Max: Nino, if I may, may I attend this impromptu event? My assistance may be needed.

Nino: yes please

Adrien: @Marinette can i come to ur house? pwease??

Marinette: sure but ya better hurry up

Lila: wait, why is adrien going to marinettes house

Lila: hello?

Lila: does no one think thats suspicious?

Lila: guys?

Ms. Bustier: Lila, you've done all your homework?

Lila: actually ms bustier, due to my surgery, i was unable to do any of my assignments. its very disappointing and im incredibly sorry. i wish there was more time for me to get it done.

Ms. Bustier: Oh, it's okay Lila. Just send a scanned copy of your discharge papers to my email and I'll take care of the rest.

Lila: my what?

Ms. Bustier: The papers that tell me you've been discharged from the hospital. I'll send you my email if you need it.

Ms. Bustier: Lila?

Ms. Bustier: Are you still there?

[nikrangdan]

photographer!ni-ki

pairing: photographystudent!ni-ki x gender neutral reader

genre: fluff, comedy

description: every time you went to the park you noticed a mysterious boy who would take pictures of the scenery on his cute little camera. you liked to see what he’d take pictures of from afar but one day you noticed his camera pointing straight at.. you

for ni-ki’s bday!!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY LOVE <33 sorry i posted a day late but i hope u all enjoy!

———

“y/n!”

you groan before getting out of your bed at 10am

it was a saturday why was your mom yelling at u ..

you walked into the kitchen all sluggishly and rubbed your eyes

“you need to start taking suki on walks to the park. you need the exercise too.” your mom doesn’t even spare u a glance before walking out the door to run some errands

right

u forgot u were taking care of ur cousins dog while he was out of town... her name was suki

shes a little shiba inu AND SHES THE CUTEST THING EVER!!!!

WELP

u dont even have a choice anymore

u got somewhat ready before heading out with suki in your arms

shes so soft and fluffy

though u dont like to admit it, u kinda agreed with ur mom about u needing to exercise and get out the house

you’ve been cooped up in your room for days with no social or nature interaction

so

the park was about a 10 minute drive from ur house

and it was actually a really pretty park...

there was a lake and really pretty flowers everywhere and alot of gazebos and benches

and a nice open field of greenery

it basically looked like a park out of a movie

so you weren’t suprised that there was a decent amount of people there

but not too much thankfully.. or else you would’ve driven to another park with less people

you got out the car with suki and put her on the leash

let the walking begin!!!!

it was a really nice day out... the sun was shining but it wasnt too hot or cold

you led her onto the sidewalk and she began sniffing at the grass around her

whenever a few people would pass they would coo at how adorable she was

it wasnt until 5 minutes later that ur eyes locked onto a figure infront of the lake

you were just walking with suki in silence.. admiring the scenery

until u caught sight of a boy

u could only see his back but u noticed the camera over his shoulder

he was standing in one of those photographer poses where like one leg is bent and kind of out while his back is hunched to get that perfect angle of a shot

he was infront of the sidewalk railings where the lake begins and he was taking photos of the scenery across from it

it was a beautiful sight honestly

there was another sidewalk but behind it was colorful trees and blossoming flowers and bushes

u understood why he’d take pictures of it

you didnt see his face but u kind of acknowledged the boy before walking past him with suki

basically thinking he was just another passerby that you noticed making a single appearance in your life and never expecting to see him again

OH BOY U WERE WRONG

the next time you see him is 3 days later at the same park

you were walking suki again but this time at 7pm after dinner

the sun was almost done setting so the sky was getting darker but there was still a hint of the orange circle peeking from below

this time you walked further down the sidewalk path towards the scattered gazebos

and you noticed the same boy again

this time he was sat in one of the gazebos with his tiny camera in his hands

his back was hunched over again and he was looking closely at the pictures he had taken

‘oh its him again’ u thought

and that was it

LOL

u just acknowledged him in ur head AGAIN before u thought nothing of it and continued ur walk with suki

so the NEXT time u saw him was another 2 days later at 7pm again

you wanted to take suki on a quick walk

but you got tired after like 10 minutes so you sat down on a blanket u brought

suki was just laying next to u while u were on ur phone

it wasnt fully dark out yet and there was still a few people in the park

the fairy lights that were placed around were lit up already

it was super pretty and the weather was nice

after staring at ur phone for a few mins u looked up just to look around

and u saw Him again

wow

why do u keep seeing him !?!?!

his back was faced towards u like always

and he was like 40 feet away from u so he looked so tiny

but u could tell it was him because of his blond hair and black coat he always wore

you kind of zoned out and unfortunately ur eyes were trained on his back without u even noticing

and he

turned

around

for the first time EVER!!!!

its like he sensed someone staring at him

but yes he turned around with his camera in his hand

the first thing u noticed was that he got a new camera

it was a larger black one

definitely more expensive

Awe good for him!!!!!

and then u glanced up to see his face

and u made EYE CONTACT

u looked away so fast

because

He was SO CUTE.............

u awkwardly started looking to your left and tried turning ur face away from him

‘oh look at those beautiful um... birds.. yeah’

hopefully he didnt notice

*nervously sweats*

u didnt dare look back in that direction so u spent the rest of your evening in the park on ur phone or playing with suki

eventually it reached 8pm so u packed up ur stuff and went home

U were still kind of thinking about that boy....

so u were like

i need to go back

and u did Lol

u went back the next day at 6pm this time with suki

it was lighter out and the sky was beautiful

perfect for a certain boy to be taking photos

*evil laugh*

u were walking for like 15 minutes and u didnt see him anywhere :((((

the one time u go there for HIM

u settled down under a tree

suki immediately went on the blanket when u sat down too

you played tug of war with her and fed her some treats while playing

playing with her for 10 minutes straight definitely tired u out so u laid down and just stared at the sky

it was a faded blue turning into orange and pink

U were kinda bored so u sat up and started petting suki

you would occasionally glance up at the strangers walking past u

and

let me tell u what Happened..

u looked up at another lady walking her dog and went like

‘aweee that dog is so cute’ in ur head

and u took ur eyes off the dog and glanced to ur right

idk bc u felt like it

AND GUESS WHAT U SEE???!??????

THE BOY

LIKE 20 FEET AWAY

STANDING IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FIELD

AND HE HAD HIS CAMERA UP TO HIS FACE

and it WAS POINTED AT U ??!?!

as soon as u looked in his direction he jumped and put his hands down

he like

Blushed????? and awkwardly smiled u know rubbing the neck and all that

he was embarrassed

ur cheeks were turning so red

BUT HE WAS SO ADORABLE

was kind of weird.... stalkerish but um

he cleared that up BECAUSE

He started walking over to u

he was wearing black jeans that were ripped on the knees with black high top converse

and a gray sweater with a black coat over it

HE JUST LOOKED CUTE OK

ur were like OMg []£{€]%[#{%€]£{

n he just Plop

he stood right infront of u basically towering bc u were sitting under the tree

suki noticed the boy and tilted her head like hmmmm???

u had the SMALLEST smile on ur face bc u wanted to seem friendly but not TOO friendly

he had his camera strap over his arm while he held it and his other hand was rubbing the name of his neck

“uh... sorry about that.. i didn’t mean to seem weird or anything!” he waved his hands infront of him to deny it

u just sat there while he talked like ❤️_❤️

“im uh taking photos for my class and i thought u looked nice so i took some pictures.. im really sorry i should’ve asked first now i seem weird or something im really-,”

u cut him off so he didnt ramble any longer

“no its okay! i get it” you gave him a warm smile and pet suki while she drifted to your side and kept her eyes on him

u both just stared at eachother for a few seconds before you spoke

“um.. would you like to sit?” you scooted over and made room for him in the blanket

WOW U WERE FEELING BOLD TODAY...

“uh sure” he set his camera down and sat beside u

“this is suki.. shes my cousins dog” u said when she climbed into his lap and started sniffing him

he grinned and pet her before looking up at you

“im ni-ki by the way” his cheeks turned a bit pink which u thought was cute

“y/n” you smiled

“suki seems to like you” u laughed

“so how long have you been working on this project or whatever?”

“oh um i started last week... i just have to make a portfolio of photos i take and turn it in” he said while keeping his eyes trained on suki

u noticed he didnt make eye contact with u often but u knew it was probably because he was nervous because u do that too

“can i see the pictures...?” u hesitantly ask him

his eyes light up when u say that

“yeah!”

AWE HES SO EXCITED

he picks up his camera next to him and clicks a few buttons

“oh by the way... ive noticed u at the park before! you’re always with the camera” you laugh

“ah yeah, this park is where most of my project photos are taken.”

he leans over and shows you the pictures on the device

“woah” you let out a gasp

he showed u the picture he took of you first

How does a picture look better than real life...

you’ve never really been into photography but now that you’ve seen his work u might just have to start getting into it

“this isnt even done yet, i still have to edit it so it’ll look even more perfect” he shyly says

“this is amazing what the heck” your jaw is Dropped

“thanks”

“i need to see the final result” u said because it was such a nice picture

“um.. if you give me your number i can show you it” he sent you a cheeky grin

SMOOTH.....

he was so AGGGHGGHG ur kind of obsessed

you two exchange numbers and talk about random things for a whole hour until he says he has to go

“it was really nice meeting you.. i had fun” he tells you as he starts standing up

suki is sleeping so he tries not to wake her up

“i had fun too” you smile

“would you like me to walk you to your car?”

A GENTLEMAN !!?!?!?!

“oh yeah, thanks”

you two spend another 2 minutes together as you walk side by side with suki in your arms and he held your blanket and bag for you

you reached your car and thanked him

“ill see you soon, dont forget to text me! and good luck on the project, i know you’ll do great”

“thank you..”

ni-ki’s cheeks turn pink once more before he turns around and starts walking away with a smile on his face

he is just the cutest thing ever

you definitely need to see him again

[staycult]

highschool!hyunjin as your boyfriend

pairing — gender neutral reader x hyunjin

genre — fluff / bullet scenario

word count — idk maybe 600-700

enjoy!

ok so

u both met bcs of the same class

since u were a new student, he got assigned to tour you around the campus

bcs he's a goody two shoes

"hyunjin, by the way." he said as he gave u a light smile,

you being a shy bean u are, just gave him a nod

he took the hint and started to walk with you following him behind

he opened a big door for you and motioned u to go inside

the smell of old books and the sound of typing devoured your senses

"this is the library, quite old but still does it's job" he said while looking around

you love libraries a lot

"it's nice" you finally spoke, fiddling w/ ur fingers a bit

"[y/n], sorry i didnt answer you earlier"

he smiled at your sudden burst of bubble

"so that's basically it for the facilities" he said while stopping infront of you

the bell rang and a whole lot of students went out of their rooms

"hey you should go with us for lunch" he said half confidently

"if you want to, that's what i meant" he added.

since you dont have that much friends, you decided to go along

you entered the cafeteria and was greeted with hyunjin's friends

7 other boys greeted you with a smile as well as 5 other girls. you have grown close with them in a matter of minutes especially the girls. as it was to go home, hyunjin offered to walk you home. the awkward tension between you two disappeared. it became a routine for the both of you to walk home together since he lives a block away from you.

finals came in and you were cramming your eyes off in the library

as you were looking for the book you needed, you stumbled upon yeji and hyunjin

who were facing each other while studying

not gonna lie it was an eye sore to see

yeji is one of your closest friends so you shrugged it off because they had always been close

but this time, it felt different

like you were hurt?

you picked up your book and turned around to find your own seat

"pst! hey [y/n]!" a familiar voice called out

"come sit with us!" yeji whisper-shouted

so u did

it felt awkward for some reason and you rlly didnt know why

you guys had always been close, why now?

yeji had this smirk on her face

while hyunjin was side eyeing her

she let out a snort "hey i have a class in 5 see you both later at lunch!" she said waving off

he cleared his throat and turned his attention towards you

"so, i found this cool coffee shop where you can write in the walls, do you want to come after finals?" he asked

you felt a butterfly run wild in your stomach

what is this feeling?

"i would love to" you smiled

both of you ordered a large smoothie each in the coffee shop and bought markers before hand. hyunjin was scribbling all over the walls. the coffee shop was full of names and quotes written by customers. you brought out your marker and wrote, [y/n] was here <3 in different colors. "jinnie, why are you drawing circles?" you chuckled.

"i-uh im making a puzzle." he said while closing his marker cap. "really? let me see!" you exlaimed. he took in a deep breath and showed you the puzzles. "all you have to do is to make a sentence out of the circled words or symbols" he explained. "words that was written by other customers you mean?" you snorted. he rolled his eyes, "just do it!"

you have gathered the a "👍🏼", "👁" and a "you"

confusion took over you as you observed the circled words. "i like you?" you asked hyunjin. "i like you too." he replied. it took you a while to realize what it meant. "for real?"

"for real." he replied seriously. a blush crept up to your face, did he really just confess? "oh god im sorry" he panicked. "it's okay if you dont like me back i shouldnt have listened to yeji let's forget this happened-"

you cut him off by giving him a hug. he went stiff at your sudden skinship but eventually hugged you back. "you silly, of course i like you too." you said as you burried your head into is chest. "for REAL real." u chuckled.

"i thought you liked yeji" you said in a low voice as you pulled away. "what? she's like my sister from another mother." he said, grossed out. "she helped me out into confessing.." he added while ruffling his hair.

"well, it worked." you claimed as he pulled you in for another hug.

boyfriend hyunjin claims that he's not clingy

well that's a lie

he's not much into pda

but he loves holding your hand whenever he has the chance

like below the tables during class

or in the library while studying

you guys are lowkey, but not a secret

coffee shop dates!

any kind of date really

he loves taking pictures of you

and posting it on his insta

back hugs and sleeping on your lap kind of love

being successful together in terms of career and school is his number 1 goal

he's very supportive!!! will literally shout whenever it's your turn in debates

"PERIOD! that's my baby!" he would clap loudly even though by now youre embarrased as hell

will give you flowers everytime u meet u go on a date

love notes!!!!!

kisses are passionate and loves to rub your back while doing so

he would get very shy after

LOVES TO PLAY WITH YOUR HAIR

never forgets to reassure you whenever you doubt yourself

"im here baby, always."

"i love you, i'll always will."

needless to say, he is the best boyfriend out there.

[fish-plz]

i have many thoughts about legend of zelda breath of the wild and i need to tell someone so…. lets go!!!

so a thing you need to know about me was i got to legend of zelda botw very late like a year after it came out i had only played 1 zelda game before and i couldnt even read then. i dont even know what game it was it had navi and pirate zelda in it was on my ds it was 3d (not great tho) it had a link that looked sorta looked like this

and the bit after the cut scene was an island that had an old man that lived in a cave and im pretty sure the island fitted on the whole screen of the 3ds. i thought it was phantom hourglass for a bit but i did buy phantom hourglass but the island is different idek. If anyone knows what game that is it would be very appreciated if you could tell me.

Anyway i got side tracked i played botw for the first time and didnt even make it off the plateau and decided i didnt like it, Which i told the friend that i originally bought botw just so i could talk about it with him ( also bcs i thought you could play as zelda but that was just a mod) that now greatly embarrasses me bcs its in my top 5 games easily.

Many months later i started playing it again bcs i felt a bit like i wasted my money bcs it was very expensive and i didnt really play that much and i loved it i played it in all my free time for a couple days until i got to my first divine beast vah ruta and i got stuck but a few weeks later i went on holiday and took my switch and i spent a while and i figured it out did the boss fight and…. died in two hits.

So when i got home i grinded and actually did shrines beat waterblight ganon and then for the next few weeks I played everyday for a few hours. I had all but finished the main story. I was ready to fight ganon and kept failing bcs i didnt have the hyllian shield and i didnt know how to reflect guardian blasts but finally i defeated ganon.

By the time i had done this it was late at night i had spent my whole afternoon learning this fight and i was so excited to play the postgame tomorrow and after the zelda cutscene it threw me back out to the menu and I PANICKED i thought my saved game corrupted but it was there but the save was before the ganon fight and i had a little star next to my save.

i did some googling and found out there is no post game THERE IS NO POST GAME. This was wild to me every game i had ever played like like legend of zelda had a post game why would there be no post game it did not make sense to me i was screaming i was so angry bcs i was thinking the whole time whilst playing i cant wait for the post game i cant wait to hang out with zelda shes so fun and i cant wait to casually galavant around hyrule and maybe theyll be quests where we rebuild the castle that would be so cool to see. But there was no post game. i vowed never to play the game again it had disappointed me so much i just couldnt face it.

The next day i booted up botw and went around thinking of things i could do i finally settled on doing all the shrines. which has been a casual goal for me over the past few months picking up botw just to relax and ride my horse and slowly work at doing all the shrines.

Today i finally did it. i dont have a favourite shrine bcs most of them where pretty painful bcs i am small brain and forget about cryonis magnesis etc but my two least favourites where the shrine quest when you have to stand naked on a blood moon cause there is no way to summon a blood moon for definite and the window is only an hour in game and the fastest route i could find was 55 in game minutes which means if you fumble for five seconds irl you miss your window.

this was particularly frustrating for me bcs i kept sleeping through my blood moons and i also tped to the wrong shrine and missed the window by going a sub optimal route and had to reload an autosave that undid a couple sidequests which was annoying.

and the other one was technicallly two in duelling peaks i think where you have to copy the patterns between the two shrines. It just wasnt fun i just ended up pulling up pictures on my phone and essentially cheating bcs it was so annoying.

one thing i said id never do is all korok seeds it just seemed so depressing to even consider bcs 900 of them. i am 140 koroks in and i am finally getting to the point i wanted to talk about

THIS KOROK IS THE WORST I HATE IT

i keeping picking the wrong apple and then the tree got hit by lightening and the things take ages to respawn i just dont like it

before my closing thoughts im going to list some quick thoughts

💕Urbosa 💕

✨Zelda✨

surprisingly not freaked about the zora even tho they are fish

i do hate the hinox and stalnox (its the eyes obviously) so much so that i wouldnt not fight them in the beginning i am since over that

the field around duelling peaks is my favourite place

The house is honestly a little disappointing idk i thought thered be more customisation or utility its still really nice tho

the Castle is so cool

anyway thank you for reading this incredibly long document of almost every thought i have ever had about the legend of zelda. i feel like you a deserve an award bcs i think the spelling, grammar and punctuation mistakes would turn anyone who cared away

[theyarebothgunshot]

ROSE I AM FREAKING OUT HAVE YOU SEEN THE PREQUEL STUFF???? WHAT IS GOING ON, my god... I was literally about to go to sleep, decided to check Tumblr one last time and see this.... what WHAT!! WHATTTT!!!!!! I don't even know if this is good bad or what but just JENSEN IS PRODUCING A SUPERNATURAL PREQUEL AND DEAN'S GONNA BE THE NARRATOR OR Sth LIKE???? -🐸

YEAH i am normal about this <3 (jk i am also freaking out) welcome to: people screaming to me in my inbox about prequelgate ft. j/2 fallout theory. let's goooo!

Another copypasta and suddenly chaos machine is full on gay I love this prophecy

you know whats funny i just checked the j/2 tag and i feel like for the first time in a long time they are starting to realise that maybe THEY should be the ones who are "gutted" *sips tea*

ROSE HOLY SHIT ROOOOOOOOSE ITS HAPPENING HOLY SHIIIIIT

YEAH

Nevermind just read prequel and well good luck I guess but just you know kind of bleh who wants to watch John Winchester well let’s have hope anyways

i know a lot of people are bummed out but i am kind of very excited actually?? i trust robbie and even though yeah j*hn winchester turned into a nasty abusive bastard, it can be interesting to explore how it all started (imo). it's just the first of many stories they can tell.

I can only accept this circus if it’s Dean telling the stories to his and Cas’ kids and then we have a revival to show that the whole finale was in fact the end Chuck wanted there Jensen I fixed it

i would not say no to this

heyloo bee anon here

um- wtf is happening?

jackles prequel series?? why? i want to be excited about this but sheesh im scared

because supernatural is never dead <3

okay, but, jensen... john winchester ≠ jdm, you don’t have to go /that/ hard for him 🙃

true true... though i am waiting for jdm to comment on this, please i need it

WAIT A SECOND J2 FALLOUT THEORY TRUE??

LMAO HELL YEAH BESTIE

Rose you really picked the worst time to sleep for real

bestie it was literally 4 in the morning, what do you expect from me sdfjsfhsf

I can’t literally can’t we were all right LMAO j2 fallout theory is real and cockles (Misha supporting Jensen) is [gunshots] I’m just laughing cause what the hell is this timeline we’re living LMAOOOOOOOOOO

we would always end up here <3

Do we have the copypaste anons to thank for JP basically confirming the J2 fallout? lol 🦚

yes, everybody say 'thanks annoying idiots!'

ROSE, WAKE UP, COME HERE,

THERE'S A LOT GOING ON FFS

YEAH I KNOW BUT I NEEDED SLEEP

Anticipating that there's going to be a lot of yelling about the prequel on here: I am cackling, but also, I mean, the first time Dean got a look into his parent's past, Cas was the catalyst: literally entered Dean's mind and catapulted him to the 70s. So idk, it's not completely unreasonable to expect some Cas cameos, maybe setting up a parallel timeline since Dean is narrating. What I'm saying is, this is Jackles, he's getting JDM and Misha in on this lmao -Honeymoon Anon

you were right lmfaooo also i fully agree. misha's tweet further cemented that thought for me. he knew about this prequel and i dont think he is cas-baiting us, i think he'll be involved. i'd also be obsessed to see jensen and jdm act together again (though idk who jdm could play seeing as it's a prequel and he is way too old to play young j*hn)

longlivethetribbles heeft gevraagd:

Heyyyyyy bestie, are you SEEING the absolute madness going on right now holy shit

well a little late but I SURE AM BESTIE

bestie wake up pls s16 finale just dropped.

- 🍯

and WHAT a great one it was

I love coming home from work to see all of the chaos unfolding on Tumblr and Twitter. I'm absolutely buzzing right now. I'll probably still be here by the time you wake up and check tumblr 😂 - 🐢

lmaooo and were you still awake?? did you see my freak out??

Oooh bestie wake the fuck up, I know you’re gonna be excited for this one jsnsjsj

god i had SUCH a morning like. it's 12:00 now and all i did since i woke up is check tumblr rip

short summary: jen and dee gain the rights, they post on ig/twitter about a prequel ft john and mary that no one asked for, the fandom loses its everloving shit as usual, they trend on twitter thanks to the beloved twt intern who missed us, misha qt’s jen about cas possibly benefiting from being in the prequel, then j*red qt’s jensen abt how his feelings got hurt by him not being told about a prequel his character as no involvement in & he initially throws a tantrum, and the rest is history - 🦋 anon (ps: i hope this helps a little, i’ve been scattered brained trying to keep up with it all night lmao so pls let me know if i missed anything, bug crew !!)

thank you so much darling i figured it out eventually but this is a helpful summary!!!

I hope you enjoyed waking up to all of this XD -🐢

i sure did!!! also that answers my question about you being awake lmao

I WILL NEVER EVER EVER FORGIVE MYSELF FOR SLEEPING THROUGH ALL OF THIS DRAMA AND NOT EXPERIENCING IT IN PERSON I DIDN'T NEED THIS SLEEP - tea anon

well the party was still going strong this morning so im not TOO "gutted" see what i did there lmaooo

Now that you are caught up with the news... So idk if you remember this but...didn't jarpad tell jackles he was up for a reboot in an online panel? And jackles answered that this was news to him??

-🍯

yeah i think you are right but he was clearly joking and didnt expect jackles to actually be working on something already

J2 anon spare more of those anons let's finish this - tea anon

please, we're having a ball in this bitch

I saw a post on tumblr where someone said now that Kripke gave J&D the rights, maybe they’re starting with a prequel just to end on a reboot in years time and honestly ? I wanna believe that so badly. This is tinhatty but what if this is all calculated in a way that makes it so that Jensen is slowly starting to fix everything that was wrong with spn - now that he has the rights and he’s slowly making spn his own story ?! I mean he did say in his ig post he wants to ‘fill in the rest’ - and maybe Mary and John’s story is only the beginning of spn related content from J&D to come ??? Maybe he wants to give spn the justice it deserves ?? Thoughts ??

i dont think this is tinhatty at all i think this is very possible and not that much of a reach. i could see this happening yeah for sure

want to hear something funny. I found out I had a ruptured blood vessel in my eye because I was sending my friend a video freaking out when the prequel news dropped and I noticed the corner of my eye was red af. and when I got back online jared had tweeted.

DJFHSJD ANON THE CHAOS OF IT ALL, HELP, are you okay? <3

rose.. bestie... how are you feeling about The News? nsfshsf being european is a curse </3 🐞

i feel GREAT im living for it i feel on top of the world tbh (and yeah it really is dsjfhs)

What am I waking up to I can't WHAT I rested my eyes for like 5 minutes help *hits reblog button* - anon anon

yep yep essentially djfhs

“Jensen and Misha are Co workers who barley talk”

I can’t be sure of course but I’m fairly certain that this is the copypasta that brought the j/2 fallout theory back to life. Who’s apparently ‘barely talking’ now? skansjsjsj. It’s almost prophetic, these j/2 anons have superpowers I’m telling ya.

-poker face anon

next time we get one of them we should be thanking them lmaooo

ok, but are we gonna talk about the "When Daneel and I formed Chaos Machine Productions, we knew that the first story we wanted to tell was the story of John and Mary Winchester [...]"-quote because the way this is phrased implies they formed CHAOS MACHINE Productions with the intent of telling this story (first), i haven't been in this dumpster long enough but the name just tickles me in that Misha way, isn't it so sus??? am i missing something???? i mean with this announcement they SURE lived up to that name... 🧩-anon

you are absolutely right, chaos machine SCREAMS misha and we are all here for it!!

hey hey hey. joining the clownverse, there's no way THEE cas girl danneel doesn't know just how much the fandom loves misha and cas. so 2 + 2 = misha in the spn prequel!

AGREED

So I think I finally managed to catch up on wtf happened while I was asleep and my brain melted. What a shit show to wake up to.

Anyway thoughts.

I don't hate the idea of a Mary&John sequel. I think it has the potential to be good (It has the potential to be really bad too, so I'm kind scared).

🕯️🕯️🕯️ manifesting Mary being badass and John being kinda useless🕯️🕯️🕯️

As for the Jensen and J*red thing.

I can see Jensen not telling J*red even if they are still friends, because J*red is kinda good at accidentally telling Secrets. He could have told him right before he announced it so, so that J*red didn't have to find out from twitter. He was on the show for 15 years, he is bound to get asked about it. The public twitter meltdown was really unprofessional so. Like you have Jensen's number J*red. You could have sorted that out in private like a normal person, but instead you choose to act like a toddler throwing a tantrum.

Is it weird that I'm actually going to be kinda that for them if the actually had a falling out, even tho I don't like J*red all that much. They seemed to be really important to each other and while I thought before that the might have triefted apart a bit, I didn't think that the where actively fighting.

- 🐌 anon

the thing is, the polite/normal thing for jensen to do was text him before announcing it on twitter. it's weird he didn't, and that makes me believe that maybe yeah they did have a falling out. especially with the way j*red responded to it on twitter. if he had no other reason to be this upset (no prior beef or falling out) you'd think that he wouldn't be responding like this. on the other hand, the man is a mysterie to me so who the hell knows. i'm not gonna mourn about it if they did/do grow apart because j*red is just.... awful imo.