#i dont know if they make sense tbh

[tellodona]

mc that has a panic disorder with Lucifer (can be platonic or romantic) one shot? Just some hurt/comfort and angst 👉🏻👈🏻

i love me some hurt/comfort

also i might be indulgent in this because i used to experience panic attacks everyday like two years ago so yeah that's a heads up

The Shepherd and His Lamb

heads up: gn!mc, romantic or platonic relationship is up for interpretation, spoilers for lesson 16

You have been always some sort of pushover, no matter what. It doesn't matter how or for who, you just couldn't say no. Even if your life depended on it. That measly, little two-letter word barely comes out of your mouth that it's like it isn't in your vocabulary.

Just something about seeking approval fills you with this unexplainable satisfaction. The way someone would be pleased because you always let them borrow your pencil or your power bank, or doing their chores because they were busy, or giving away your answers on an important test you worked so hard to review for days.

Anything, just anything remotely related to someone's approval of you is enough to fill the longing inside your heart. Something that fills that empty hole you wouldn't even acknowledge that exists.

Perhaps it's why you agreed to Levi's request of forcing Mammon into a pact, or how you almost agreed to the pact Satan offered to you before just because he wants to spite Lucifer.

When you let Luke in the House of Lamentation, or when you didn't get angry at Beel for destroying a wall in your room. Choosing to shield them both from Lucifer's wrath because you didn't want them to be hurt. It doesn't matter you got hurt, at least they were okay.

When you let Asmo pamper you like the greatest trophy in the world, or when Diavolo had you in the exchange program in the first place. Like you're some sort of humanified object that someone can easily hold in the palm of their hand.

And maybe when you just let Belphie kill you because he was just upset from the trauma he had millennia ago.

It's something he couldn't control. He was angry at that time, you understand. You understood.

You always understood because that way he'd be able to bond with his family again. That way he didn't have to get stuck in the past where Lilith's death replays in his head over and over again.

Of course, you're in the picture too; the random, defenseless human who served as the bridge to fix the broken bonds between the seven demon brothers.

The human who'd get all smiley because everyone else is happy too.

The human that's somehow the descendant of their fallen sister.

But it just starts to wear you down at some point. Like a pencil that dulls after so much use and after so much sharpens.

Sometimes Mammon's rants get overbearing, sometimes Levi gets too noisy with his games. Asmo's been too pushy lately, Satan's been too angry. Beel's been eating a larger portion of your food, and Belphie's being Belphie, hogging your side to cuddle to because it apparently helps him sleep better.

And then there's Lucifer.

He's not quite distant, but you wouldn't say he's talking to you all the time. He's just... there.

He'd always try to keep everything at bay, you don't know how he gets the motivation to do it, but you'd guess it's because he's the eldest brother.

Then again, where does that put you?

You're a nobody to them. Sure, you're Lilith's descendant by a stretch, but other than that? You're human, your lifetime is just a blink of an eye to them.

You are but a speck of dust in their lives that'll be whisked away in the wind.

Your efforts to put the broken pieces of the family picture frame together? They're acknowledged, but not enough to be hailed as a legacy.

And then you're there on the floor of your room, back leaning on your bed, crying like a tall child whose mother scolded and left alone in the dark.

Your knees to your chest, you bury your face in them. As if to hide from the world. You curl yourself into a ball, something you often find yourself always doing.

You feel sick to your stomach, you feel weird. You feel horrible, you feel everything all at once.

Your hands grasp your hair tightly, pulling them hard, just to calm yourself down. Anything to ground yourself, you'd attempt to do it.

Your breathing is uneven, you choke on a sob too. Hot, salty tears pour down your cheeks that you don't even bother to wipe. Your lungs are restricted, but it wasn't like you're in a position to realize that.

Your legs ache the more tighter the ball you pull yourself in, you feel your feet get cold and shake against the floor. Your body feels numb, you don't feel anything else now, only the tightening of your chest and the hands you have on your head.

One minute, you feel like the world is so small, and the next it feels so big. Like it keeps going back and forth and it's so overwhelming. You're getting dizzy, your head hurts. Like someone banged a hammer on it.

Your nails dig into your scalp, and you swear you feel a tinge of liquid forming beneath your fingers when your hands are gently pried away from your head.

You flinch at the sudden touch, and you cry harder, you try to pull your hands away but the hands holding them are firm, yet they're surprisingly gentle.

The hands gently run smooth circles around the back of yours, massaging them. Running their fingers along the arches of the bones. Trying to make you feel something else rather than numbness and discomfort, and it's working, even for just a tiny bit.

A tiny bit and yet it's still something you could take note of. Something you can focus on.

In turn, your hands tighten their hold onto those instead, finding another thing to use to ground yourself. The hands continue to massage yours, before the left hand puts down your right hand.

It makes its way to your cheek, gently coaxing you to look up.

You continue to cry, squeezing their hand, and then then they wipe away your tears with their thumb. You choke on a sob, and the mysterious person shushes you quietly.

You open your eyes, and you're met with eyes as black as obsidian and as red as fire.

Lucifer.

He sits in front of you, cross-legged, continuing to wipe away your tears even if you finally noticed he's there. He's there, sitting on the floor with you, patient and quiet, and he's, most importantly, comforting you.

It only makes your hold on his hand tighten.

You're embarrassed. He isn't supposed to see this side of you, what is he going to think? You're supposed to be the responsible human he picked out for the program, not some crying, little-

And then he opens his mouth.

"Follow my breathing, won't you?" Lucifer's voice is calm, but there's a hint of tiredness from it. He inhales, "Inhale for me, hold it in for five, four, three, two, one..." You're coherent enough to follow him, "And exhale..." You did so, finding no reason to distrust him on this one.

He isn't wearing any gloves, which is probably why you didn't notice it wasn't him earlier.

His expression doesn't show what he's feeling. Is he mad? Is he annoyed? He shouldn't have, he shouldn't have to be here. Stuck with you, stuck trying to calm you down because you're just upset over not getting enough approval.

All you ever wanted is to feel loved without ever begging for it.

So you didn't, you kept quiet. You never voiced out your worries, your hurt. If it means people will like you enough to keep you around, then you'll let it be.

But tonight is just the night where the tape around your broken soul loosens like the heartstrings that's been pulled mercilessly inside your heart.

Lucifer delicately pulls down your knees from your chest, and they're getting too numb to the point they just plop down on his sides.

He lets go of your hand, and uses both his hands to wipe away your tears. "Why must you cry in such a way?" He whispers softly, a stark contrast to the vision you have of him in your head, "Why must you keep it all to yourself? Hide it from everyone... hide it from me?"

You couldn't bring yourself to reply.

He pulls you to his chest, and you instantly wrap your arms around him, gripping at the shirt on his back. Hiding away your face on his chest, unable to bring yourself to see the disappointment on his face.

His hand rubs circles around your own back, running a hand through your hair.

Disappointment is the last thing you should see on his face.

You did so well, everyday, and he always saw it.

He wanted you to see it too.

Lucifer could sit there on the floor of your room for hours if need be, if it means you'll be in his arms, trusting him to hold you with gentleness. Listening to your breathing to calm down until it turns into the tiniest of sniffles against his shirt.

And maybe, perhaps it's the Shepherd's turn to care for his lamb.

[wasyago]

so, would you?

nothing important under the cut, you don't need to look haha

[stealingpotatoes]

hands you all this cal to announce i’ve FINALLY finished fallen order (by which i mean i finally picked it up again after those couple hours i played a few months ago and then finished the whole game in 2 days lol)

[h0estar]

i like how this chapter took us back to the literal premise or conflict of the whole story. donovan thinks everyone is a fraud and the way he held on to this belief since he was young may make it harder for our protagonists—who are all liars btw—to get through him.

he does have a point with the way things are "peaceful" right now. both sides say they want peace, but then you've got spies and assassins crawling around in the shadows because no one trusts each other.

everyone is a liar. though our protagonists' intentions are for good ("world peace" according to them), their attempt to hide their identities with LIES still personify donovan's belief of what makes war a continuous loop. it's a paradox in a way: both sides fight for "peace," yet their actions are rooted in suspicion, continuing the very conflict they want to avoid. it's a cycle.

i see it as a potential twiyor identity reveal conflict. if their cover gets blown, twilight and yor might never trust each other again. lies, even for peace, can be a pretty big deal, especially when they're from enemy countries. they both fight for peace, but without believing the other's true intentions, suspicion might just tear them apart.

here's hoping endo surprises us and decides to break donovan's ideals by having the two secret heroes of enemy countries trust and love each other. the angst potential... i'm weak.

[lover-of-mine]

I can't even be honest with myself, how could you believe I'd do that for someone else?

[meamiiikiii]

5% of a color headcanon.... two versions since b&w emphasizes the dagger more i think but i still like the warm tones ASFSADA

i am not biased towards rainbow daggers whatsoever i promise (lie)

((also friend is streaming now and im there too!! bit more info linked here, its rated mature tho))

[socialbunny]

 Skip has always found a way to work through his problems and turn them around with relative ease, but the sudden death of his wife, Brandi, has brought his mostly carefreeness towards his children  to a stand-still. With two freshly traumatized children and a newborn under his belt, can Skip juggle turning his shitty ass life around for his family, or will he crumble under the weight of his past mistakes?

Darleen hasn’t been the same since her husband, Darren, died, though she’d be quick to argue with you if you said anything of the sort. She’s FINE! She misses her husband, undoubtedly, but she’s not going to let that very, very, very tiny thing wreck her whole life, and she’s not going to let people give her grief about ANYTHING. Sure, she got fired from her job a few months back and hasn’t made any strides to find a new one, and she’s losing touch with her son as she goes and squanders all her responsibilities by partying and drinking on par with younger years, aaaaaaaaaaaaand the almost obsessive idealistic crush she’s developed on her neighbor is clouding the second half of her judgment, but she’s bounced back from worse and knows everything’s going to come up Darleen :) …………. hopefully

[elisedonut]

Marcus: I think I got your lunch. *Holds up a note that reads: ‘I am very proud of you. Love, Percy’* Oliver: Oh yeah. I didn’t think this was for me. *Holds up a note that reads: ‘I love you but for the love of merlin, Please behave.’*

[thunderblazz]

Doodle dump boooo👎👎👎

[squuote]

comparing dialogue once again as you do. anyway. this cut dialogue from the other games ending vs the the 2011/ultra deluxe final game dialogue is interesting. frying my mind a bit.

no deeper meaning to this post i just think it is. intriguing. i love dialogue comparisons sorry </3

[codacheetah]

5 for the isat ask game!

5 - What's your favorite optional event?

VERY TOUGH ONE TO ANSWER. I'm gonna go right ahead and disqualify twohats bc it's a predictable answer. If I had to choose just one though I think it'd probably be the sus event. It really got my goat on my first playthrough bc I didn't realize you had to do it in ACT 4. If I remember correctly I think sus is the only optional event locked to ACT 4??? Now that I've actually done it though I'm quite fond of it.

Sus event is one that you really have to go out of your way to do. It kind of reminds me of the True Ending in SASASAP but More and I'm sure that's intentional. Like the requirements for sus quest necessitate that you're going to do it, if not the loop before ACT 5, very soon before it. You have to know pretty much everything about Time Craft and Wish Craft already, so whatever you're doing in the loops now is basically taking out any optional stuff before you hit the end. You have to pretty thoroughly remember how the script goes just so you know all the best ways to break it. I feel like if the True Ending route is Loop going through the motions so many times that they can't deal with holding their facade together any longer, the sus route is Siffrin waving a big red flag around for help. There's just no way you're going to stumble into sus without preplanning what to do to rack up your points and make Odile aware of how Wish Craft works.

So I think it's interesting how much Siffrin pushes back against Odile trying to figure him out. It's a pattern of behavior that I am well aware of where you're desperately going "HELP ME" but you're not willing to accept it when it's offered to you.

Siffrin spends an entire loop screwing everything up, to a point that's frankly kind of egregious even by Late Stage Timeloopers standards, and then they can't reckon with the consequences of it. I don't think sus event is as intentional of a cry for help for Siffrin as it is the player, mind you. But I do think it's. Very tragic. Yeah of course "it's too late" in the sense that Siffrin's about to talk to Euphie and the whole journey will end, but moreso it's that by the time that Odile can piece together all the information necessary to figure Siffrin out, Siffrin is just far too deeply entrenched in his self hatred and fear of abandonment to be dug out. I think if Odile could somehow figure it out in, like, early ACT 3, or if Isabeau was just a bit more pushy in getting Siffrin to do a feelings talk, maybe they'd actually be able to reach Siffrin a little. But they're always just a little too late, every single time.

I think the fact that you start really getting a bunch of weird points in ACT 3 gives this event a lot of buildup. For potential dozens of loops you'll see Odile brush against the truth of the situation, and then just barely miss. By the time she figures it out, it's too late. Explodes

Expounded upon slightly more in tags bc I don't like typing in post bodies I feel like a fish on land. eek

[catboygirljoker]

hey you ever think about how its implied that you have to be turned into a nobody to get norted, like, every member of the real org13 who isnt literally xehanort or literally possessed by xehanort is a nobody (except maybe vanitas but *gestures* thats a . different can of worms), and the people who were recompleted had to then become nobodies again in order to be in the real org13 and serve as a vessel for xehanort, like perhaps your heart has to be removed in order to make room for another heart,

and then do you ever think about the one character who canonically got norted before becoming a nobody and is still norted even after being recompleted and thus canonically didnt need to become a nobody in order to be norted, and then lose your mind a little bit

[milowing]

"in the original myth medusa was a rape victim!" i'm literally banging my head against the wall

[crowleyholmes]

Bonus:

Don't mind me, I was just thinking about how Crowley must feel every time Aziraphale seems to put him in a box with the rest of hell. I know he tells him he's nice and kind and good and his friend just as many times or more, but still - after 6000 years of friendship and Doing The Right Thing together, it must have hurt when Aziraphale told him he's evil, and then even more when he told him you're the bad guys.

I just find it sooo interesting to look into every instance of Aziraphale talking about Crowley in either way. I want to take his thought process apart and study it under a microscope. We know that he knows that Crowley isn't evil, and we know that Crowley knows that he knows, and we (and Crowley) know that Aziraphale (up until a certain point) is just incredibly Heaven-brainwashed and it's hard for him to break out of that unless there's a situation at hand that requires Direct Action (see giving away the flaming sword to protect Adam and Eve, or protecting Job's children, or helping Elspeth to help Dalrymple, or stopping the Apocalypse).

How does he travel the world and the ages with Crowley and still somehow manage to call him evil with any level of seriousness? He is so convinced that all demons are evil, and at the same time he knows that Crowley's fall was unjust and a mistake and Crowley is NOT evil, but Crowley is a demon, but he's good and kind and nice and just, and Aziraphale sometimes struggles with that. Not consciously, I think, consciously he loves Crowley and trusts him and knows him well enough to see beyond angel/demon good/evil black and white thinking, but sometimes thoughts slip out of his mouth that are just. So far removed from what we know he knows.

He believes so strongly, in two things that could not be more mutually exclusive, and it's so fascinating. There's a lot of growth in that regard over the course of the series, we know that by the end of season 2 when he's talking to the Metatron, he is very clear in stating that his priority and his loyalty lie with Crowley, not with heaven. And I hold firm to my belief that he is going to Heaven because That's The Right Thing To Do, because he believes he can Make Things Better, for everybody, yes, but most importantly for Crowley. For the two of them!!

And YET. AND YET "you're the bad guys" somehow comes out of his mouth, when Crowley has Never really been a part of hell, and has always wanted to do the right thing for as long as Aziraphale has known him, and has been free of hell for Years now.

Still, Crowley is a Demon, and Demons Are Evil, angels and demons are hereditary enemies, right?

Except.... it's a little different when it's someone you know, isn't it?

[lover-of-mine]

You're the reason, the only reason...

[meamiiikiii]

[reverse entry AU]

so glad the work week is over!

no more meetings!

what do you mean its only tuesday.