#i dont know if they make sense tbh
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tellodona · 1 year ago
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mc that has a panic disorder with Lucifer (can be platonic or romantic) one shot? Just some hurt/comfort and angst 👉🏻👈🏻
i love me some hurt/comfort
also i might be indulgent in this because i used to experience panic attacks everyday like two years ago so yeah that's a heads up
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The Shepherd and His Lamb
heads up: gn!mc, romantic or platonic relationship is up for interpretation, spoilers for lesson 16
You have been always some sort of pushover, no matter what. It doesn't matter how or for who, you just couldn't say no. Even if your life depended on it. That measly, little two-letter word barely comes out of your mouth that it's like it isn't in your vocabulary.
Just something about seeking approval fills you with this unexplainable satisfaction. The way someone would be pleased because you always let them borrow your pencil or your power bank, or doing their chores because they were busy, or giving away your answers on an important test you worked so hard to review for days.
Anything, just anything remotely related to someone's approval of you is enough to fill the longing inside your heart. Something that fills that empty hole you wouldn't even acknowledge that exists.
Perhaps it's why you agreed to Levi's request of forcing Mammon into a pact, or how you almost agreed to the pact Satan offered to you before just because he wants to spite Lucifer.
When you let Luke in the House of Lamentation, or when you didn't get angry at Beel for destroying a wall in your room. Choosing to shield them both from Lucifer's wrath because you didn't want them to be hurt. It doesn't matter you got hurt, at least they were okay.
When you let Asmo pamper you like the greatest trophy in the world, or when Diavolo had you in the exchange program in the first place. Like you're some sort of humanified object that someone can easily hold in the palm of their hand.
And maybe when you just let Belphie kill you because he was just upset from the trauma he had millennia ago.
It's something he couldn't control. He was angry at that time, you understand. You understood.
You always understood because that way he'd be able to bond with his family again. That way he didn't have to get stuck in the past where Lilith's death replays in his head over and over again.
Of course, you're in the picture too; the random, defenseless human who served as the bridge to fix the broken bonds between the seven demon brothers.
The human who'd get all smiley because everyone else is happy too.
The human that's somehow the descendant of their fallen sister.
But it just starts to wear you down at some point. Like a pencil that dulls after so much use and after so much sharpens.
Sometimes Mammon's rants get overbearing, sometimes Levi gets too noisy with his games. Asmo's been too pushy lately, Satan's been too angry. Beel's been eating a larger portion of your food, and Belphie's being Belphie, hogging your side to cuddle to because it apparently helps him sleep better.
And then there's Lucifer.
He's not quite distant, but you wouldn't say he's talking to you all the time. He's just... there.
He'd always try to keep everything at bay, you don't know how he gets the motivation to do it, but you'd guess it's because he's the eldest brother.
Then again, where does that put you?
You're a nobody to them. Sure, you're Lilith's descendant by a stretch, but other than that? You're human, your lifetime is just a blink of an eye to them.
You are but a speck of dust in their lives that'll be whisked away in the wind.
Your efforts to put the broken pieces of the family picture frame together? They're acknowledged, but not enough to be hailed as a legacy.
And then you're there on the floor of your room, back leaning on your bed, crying like a tall child whose mother scolded and left alone in the dark.
Your knees to your chest, you bury your face in them. As if to hide from the world. You curl yourself into a ball, something you often find yourself always doing.
You feel sick to your stomach, you feel weird. You feel horrible, you feel everything all at once.
Your hands grasp your hair tightly, pulling them hard, just to calm yourself down. Anything to ground yourself, you'd attempt to do it.
Your breathing is uneven, you choke on a sob too. Hot, salty tears pour down your cheeks that you don't even bother to wipe. Your lungs are restricted, but it wasn't like you're in a position to realize that.
Your legs ache the more tighter the ball you pull yourself in, you feel your feet get cold and shake against the floor. Your body feels numb, you don't feel anything else now, only the tightening of your chest and the hands you have on your head.
One minute, you feel like the world is so small, and the next it feels so big. Like it keeps going back and forth and it's so overwhelming. You're getting dizzy, your head hurts. Like someone banged a hammer on it.
Your nails dig into your scalp, and you swear you feel a tinge of liquid forming beneath your fingers when your hands are gently pried away from your head.
You flinch at the sudden touch, and you cry harder, you try to pull your hands away but the hands holding them are firm, yet they're surprisingly gentle.
The hands gently run smooth circles around the back of yours, massaging them. Running their fingers along the arches of the bones. Trying to make you feel something else rather than numbness and discomfort, and it's working, even for just a tiny bit.
A tiny bit and yet it's still something you could take note of. Something you can focus on.
In turn, your hands tighten their hold onto those instead, finding another thing to use to ground yourself. The hands continue to massage yours, before the left hand puts down your right hand.
It makes its way to your cheek, gently coaxing you to look up.
You continue to cry, squeezing their hand, and then then they wipe away your tears with their thumb. You choke on a sob, and the mysterious person shushes you quietly.
You open your eyes, and you're met with eyes as black as obsidian and as red as fire.
Lucifer.
He sits in front of you, cross-legged, continuing to wipe away your tears even if you finally noticed he's there. He's there, sitting on the floor with you, patient and quiet, and he's, most importantly, comforting you.
It only makes your hold on his hand tighten.
You're embarrassed. He isn't supposed to see this side of you, what is he going to think? You're supposed to be the responsible human he picked out for the program, not some crying, little-
And then he opens his mouth.
"Follow my breathing, won't you?" Lucifer's voice is calm, but there's a hint of tiredness from it. He inhales, "Inhale for me, hold it in for five, four, three, two, one..." You're coherent enough to follow him, "And exhale..." You did so, finding no reason to distrust him on this one.
He isn't wearing any gloves, which is probably why you didn't notice it wasn't him earlier.
His expression doesn't show what he's feeling. Is he mad? Is he annoyed? He shouldn't have, he shouldn't have to be here. Stuck with you, stuck trying to calm you down because you're just upset over not getting enough approval.
All you ever wanted is to feel loved without ever begging for it.
So you didn't, you kept quiet. You never voiced out your worries, your hurt. If it means people will like you enough to keep you around, then you'll let it be.
But tonight is just the night where the tape around your broken soul loosens like the heartstrings that's been pulled mercilessly inside your heart.
Lucifer delicately pulls down your knees from your chest, and they're getting too numb to the point they just plop down on his sides.
He lets go of your hand, and uses both his hands to wipe away your tears. "Why must you cry in such a way?" He whispers softly, a stark contrast to the vision you have of him in your head, "Why must you keep it all to yourself? Hide it from everyone... hide it from me?"
You couldn't bring yourself to reply.
He pulls you to his chest, and you instantly wrap your arms around him, gripping at the shirt on his back. Hiding away your face on his chest, unable to bring yourself to see the disappointment on his face.
His hand rubs circles around your own back, running a hand through your hair.
Disappointment is the last thing you should see on his face.
You did so well, everyday, and he always saw it.
He wanted you to see it too.
Lucifer could sit there on the floor of your room for hours if need be, if it means you'll be in his arms, trusting him to hold you with gentleness. Listening to your breathing to calm down until it turns into the tiniest of sniffles against his shirt.
And maybe, perhaps it's the Shepherd's turn to care for his lamb.
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wasyago · 1 year ago
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so, would you?
nothing important under the cut, you don't need to look haha
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puppppppppy · 3 months ago
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(yes I know siffrins cloak grows sleeves when its convenient but I wanna play around with this)
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xxplastic-cubexx · 3 days ago
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just wanted to make a color ref for Brain Therapist Magneto from 309 but i needed lights too for some reason
bonus The Flats Only Version
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#xmen#erik lehnsherr#magneto#xmen comics#snap sketches#why did half of my beginning tags just get neutralized. tf. now i have to retype them and this tag'll make no sense#anyway 'have you done literally anything but think about 309 since you read it' no . apparently vJARLKAJKL#BUT YEAH I JUST WANTED A COLOR REF IF IM GONNA DRAW THIS LOOK MORE OR WHATEVER#i dont know if i like the yellow dress shirt + pink tie combo ... that's inspo'd from his new mutants headmaster suit + tie..#why does he have to wear a suit under the coat huh .. the thing is i have no idea if he's supposed to be wearing a dr's coat or a trench#i mean he briefly wears his magneto suit when scolding charles so maybe it is a doctor's coat....#doctor makes the most sense to me considering the context so thats why i went all white but... now im not so sure ...#UGH stupid beautiful comic had to be in monochrome. or limited colors whatever#anyway i did start some doodles cause i wanted to post a few 309 doodles but. hm.#i think i might make a separate post for it ... it may be a lil inapropro !!!!#i wanted a color ref in the first place because i was thinking about making a 309 comic but like#now that i think of it if i do that i might jsut do the blue/black thing they did in the actual comic..#idk the thing im doodling now i might do in full color. just for fun#tbh maybe i wont do that comic after i doodle this.. no im lying i still will i still have visions i wanna put in front of my eyes#i can only fall asleep thinking about it so much i need it tangible#if i do draw it i prob just wont post it or ill just share it with select friends. aka like. one vjAELKVJEAKJ#but that's like months from now lbr ok ill still share crumbs with you all !!!!! gimme like. five hours vJALKJAKL#ok bye !!!!!!!!! please enjoy therapist magneto in the meantime#you will not get better as an individual you will get worse
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meamiki · 4 months ago
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mira !!! :]
#isat#in stars and time#isat mirabelle#isat spoilers#<- due to act 3 optional content !#the img might be being chewed due to weird canvas size oops ah well#one of these miras is not like the other#one of these miras doesnt belong ASFASFSDAFA#a majority of these are based on things mentioned / that happen in the house cuz i thought itd be fun to draw :D#so like the wilting plant is from gardening room dialogue#the poster with ppl holding hands and sparkly eyes is (i think??) from some SAPSAPSAAP dialogue in one of the first rooms#i tried looking around ISAT to see if it's also in there too but couldnt find it so uh correct me if im wrong if thats NOT an exclusive LOL#side note the 2 in the poster are some old nuz ocs isatified ASDFASFA#funnily enough tho they are from 2 different games if they actually ever met they would hate each others guts i think. hmm...#however both are also the most qualified to help with promotional stuff so theres that ASDFAFA#mira looking at her bonding proposals is sorta on the tin but#the fact that she has like right next to her while she sleeps in her dresser makes me :(#cuz to me it potrays how much theyve been weighing over her cuz of how close shes been keeping them with her vs putting them on a bookshelf#or something idk if that makes sense i dont have proper words atm#but uhhh moving on chalkboard is from one of the optional events#which i think is! important!!! i dont think ive seen many ppl talk about it but!! yeah!#however i too do not have words on it atm but!!! yeah!!!! moving on for now!#the 'mira' that is really just the change god is ofc from the change god event :]#aaand ofc the iconic finish from mira towards the king#and then some misc miras with swords for funsies tbh ASFAFA#but yeah! i like mira a lot actually but as with many things i do not currently have many words to properly articulate *why*#all i know in my heart of hearts is that she is near and dear and special to me personally#one day. one day i will be able to gather my thoughts in a cohesive manner but that day. is not today!#anyway tag talk over :]
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stealingpotatoes · 1 year ago
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hands you all this cal to announce i’ve FINALLY finished fallen order (by which i mean i finally picked it up again after those couple hours i played a few months ago and then finished the whole game in 2 days lol)
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h0estar · 7 months ago
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i like how this chapter took us back to the literal premise or conflict of the whole story. donovan thinks everyone is a fraud and the way he held on to this belief since he was young may make it harder for our protagonists—who are all liars btw—to get through him.
he does have a point with the way things are "peaceful" right now. both sides say they want peace, but then you've got spies and assassins crawling around in the shadows because no one trusts each other.
everyone is a liar. though our protagonists' intentions are for good ("world peace" according to them), their attempt to hide their identities with LIES still personify donovan's belief of what makes war a continuous loop. it's a paradox in a way: both sides fight for "peace," yet their actions are rooted in suspicion, continuing the very conflict they want to avoid. it's a cycle.
i see it as a potential twiyor identity reveal conflict. if their cover gets blown, twilight and yor might never trust each other again. lies, even for peace, can be a pretty big deal, especially when they're from enemy countries. they both fight for peace, but without believing the other's true intentions, suspicion might just tear them apart.
here's hoping endo surprises us and decides to break donovan's ideals by having the two secret heroes of enemy countries trust and love each other. the angst potential... i'm weak.
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lover-of-mine · 9 months ago
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I can't even be honest with myself, how could you believe I'd do that for someone else?
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lokh · 1 month ago
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also i think if roleswap laios and canon laios met theyd immediately start fighting.
#canon laios would blurt out 'why do you look like our dad' and fisticuffs ensue.#shuro........ is a little more complicated#if canon shuro doesnt think too hard about it and just treats the other him like a stranger then theres no problem#on the other hand i imagine he holds himself to high standards and if he sees his other self doing things he considers improper or uncouth.#i imagine hed only speak up if he saw it happen A Lot like hed pull him aside like hey... what the fuck#thered be a bit of 'holy shit i woulda turned out like THAT??' on both sides#roleswap shuro would often get frustrated but i think hed understand that like. thats how the culture is like he lived it too#but i think similarly hed watch laios steamroll og shuro and eventually be like. DUDE. just say something#shorter fuse lmao. anyways still turning this AU over in my head#how much more forward can shuro be before hes unbelievably out of character...#and what if they switched universes!!!!#if laios switched. it would be immediately obvious something is up in the og universe but it may be chalked up to like#a weird mood..... though maybe the party starts to wonder 'hey... is it not possible this is a shapeshifter' 😭#but og laios in the roleswap universe...#tbh havent thought too hard on what the party dynamics in that universe might be like assuming all else is the same save for the roleswap#i imagine chilchuck would still get on alright as long as hes being paid upfront and laios is still attentive/ recognises his abilities#and limitations also. marcille................................... hmm#she might treat him more formally and be less close.... may perceive him as more threatening at first meeting#(in terms of like. 'taking falin away' i mean if that makes sense)#but well. u kno how in canon laios Does notice a lot of things about his companions and has a very pragmatic view that surprises them#and they dont tend to notice until he says it aloud because its often overlooked cos of his. everything else.#well. id imagine roleswap laios still notices things but simply would not say it aloud.#the party would also be like .. dude... did he hit his head#if SHURO swapped...................... well it depends when exactly it happened#i imagine it could be a bigger issue with the retainers#im losing steam cos my lower back hurt so bad adgfsdfg i cant get a good position on this chair#but for shuro himself i imagine it would be nightmarish lmao.#roleswap (henceforth RS) shuro would wake up as an adult with the retainers like. ??? was that all a dream?? did i never make it out#meanwhile og shuro ending up god knows where..........#if he ended up with the retainers again he might not immediately realise somethings amiss and try to act normally
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ganondoodle · 2 months ago
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the closer we get to arcanes finale the more worried i am bc so often .. if not always .. things i like end in a way that i dislike so much it ruins everything else for me
and im so worried they pull a 'this is a multiverse' thing bc then they can say every skin is somehow canon bc its all different universes you seeeeee and jayce went mad bc he lived through all of them or something, or force it to end in a way that makes the champions end up like they are in game- Vi is a shitty cop, Jinx is just heehoo craycray bc xyz etc
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elisedonut · 2 years ago
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Marcus: I think I got your lunch. *Holds up a note that reads: ‘I am very proud of you. Love, Percy’* Oliver: Oh yeah. I didn’t think this was for me. *Holds up a note that reads: ‘I love you but for the love of merlin, Please behave.’*
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thunderblazz · 6 months ago
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Doodle dump boooo👎👎👎
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squuote · 7 months ago
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comparing dialogue once again as you do. anyway. this cut dialogue from the other games ending vs the the 2011/ultra deluxe final game dialogue is interesting. frying my mind a bit.
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no deeper meaning to this post i just think it is. intriguing. i love dialogue comparisons sorry </3
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robbyykeene · 7 days ago
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Potentially unpopular opinion, but I love that Miguel was an asshole again in the second part of this season! It’s a reminder that he’s a character and not just Johnny’s main support. I mean Robby didn’t deserve it at all, but it makes sense that Miguel couldn’t help taking his anger out on him. And I love that Johnny was on the receiving end of it, because it feels like the tension between them just went away for no reason.
Sorry if I’m bothering you!
You’re never bothering me, and I completely agree! They so rarely give Miguel any narrative agency these days, and like Johnny all it does is reduce him as a character. Miguel is a whole, complicated, messy teenager. He isn’t a saint. He isn’t perfect. He makes mistakes and has ugly unfair feelings sometimes, like every single teenager does. And I love when this show actually lets him be like this, lets him be wrong, lets him be a little bit of a dick to the people he cares about who don’t deserve it. Lets him be a real person with actual human feelings. And then also lets him take accountability for what he does wrong, apologize, show how much he’s grown, that he is a good person and a good friend. I love it truly, and it feels like it’s something that in a lot of ways hasn’t really been granted to Miguel since he fell off that balcony.
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xxplastic-cubexx · 2 months ago
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How would you redesign Headmaster Magneto? Just out pf curiousity because while he served it didn’t feel like… Erik.
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i have to keep it 100 i have no idea without just. rerunning his original design but with a palette swap LOL but we try around here
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meamiki · 7 months ago
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[reverse entry AU]
so glad the work week is over!
no more meetings!
what do you mean its only tuesday.
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