#i dont get 2 talk 2 him much so idk likee. if he has a lot of friends..i hope he has a few though
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Visit Tumblr Blog
Explore Tumblr blogs with no restrictions, modern design and the best experience.
Last Seen Tumblr Blogs
Fun Fact
Tumblr was created by web developers David Karp and Marco Arment.
Text
BUDDIE FIC RECS PART 2
Okay heres more fics cause ive been reading so so much lately, i cannot and will not be stopped. Heres the first list. I will most prob keep on making lists cause i honestly cannot stop reading. Once again, in no particular order:
Songbird by @colonoscopys - Goes first cause i just finished reading this one. FREAK EDDIE IS MY PASION. I said it already but at one point eddie eats bucks hair. Its awesome! FreakxFreak DumbxDumb
a bleeding sun on a silver screen by @hoediaz EVERYONE ALREADY READ THIS ONE RIGHT? IF NOT WTF ARE YOU EVEN DOING GO! ACTORS AU YOU WILL NE FAMOUS FOREVER.
chess inside my chest by @buick118 - HELLOOOO THIS ONE FIXED SOMETHING INSIDE MY CHEST "heart clipped in the backseat with his headphones already secured over his ears." I NEED AN EXPLANATION FOR THIS WRITING ❤️🩹
Two, Three Times in a Row by leslie_knope i honestly have no words for how much i love this fic, i reread it all the time, like ive reread it so much its embarrasing. Some of the best smut ive read.
wanna do a bad thing twice by @coldbam BUCK IS SUCH A FREAK GOD HE IS SUCH A FREAK
(You know what actually there are 2 more fics were buck is the freakiest hes ever been so ill put them right below ⬇️)
slow motion, double vision in rose blush by @saryasy Eddie Diaz. His friend. His Eddie. Has kissed a man. Which is strange because Buck is sure as hell he'd remember kissing Eddie.
Me at Buck: FREAAAAAAAAK
Also special mention to that flashback WOW!
i can tell just what you want (you don't want to be alone) by @tallsinspace Buck loses it every single time this is so awesome, it was so FUN reading INFIDELEDDIE this hiatus 🫶🏽
songs and poems and promises by @lesbianrobin buck summer of disatisfaction turns around thanks to eddie god they are so in love! Also special mention to chim well and maddie lets fucking goooooo
we keep this love in a photograph by @burnthatbridge its just so so freaking beautiful. Buck chooses eddies pics for his dating app after he comes out...
the tortured poets department by @colonoscopys once again the kind of fic that you wanna reread again and again.
"The first time Buck touched him, Eddie blew an ambulance up."
still sitting in a corner i haunt by @cal-daisies-and-briars i just love this one so much, should reread it, trust me its worth it.
we're not in love (but the sex is good) by elless. Idk i loved this one. Buddie are not even friends they just want the benefits as soon as they meet. The transition from that to them actually getting to know each other so naturally and start caring about each other is so beautiful.
in the passenger seat by @livingincolorsagain Evan Buckley was put on God’s green earth to drive Eddie Diaz around.
Just BEAUTIFUL.
tying you to me by @hoediaz ONCE AGAIN PERFECT TYPE OF WRITING. Buddie meet each other after 5x11. SO ORIGINAL GOD.
the soft animal of your body by @hattalove . This is a coda to another fic but can be read on its own. Just beautiful beautiful love making. I think i commented that i felt like they were making love with the words they were saying to each other just sitting on the kitchen table talking.
we could follow the sparks, i’ll drive by @markofalover bucks kink should be people calling him mr. diaz and thinking hes eddies husband.
Wait for me there by @kitkatpancakestack Childhood friends reunite after 8 years. I just really really loved this one. Those flashbacks to the past are so beautiful.
wanna be your endgame by literalmetaphor gotta be honest dont see this happening in canon at all cause the second eddie confesses buck would go down on his knees lets be honest. BUT this was so great! I loved it.
Pivot Tables by rainbowninja167 Does it show that i love reading buddie being so freaky and so kinky. Ill just say this: educational sex. Buck brings on the clipboard. Obsessed with this one.
I Broke What You Gave Me, But You Kept Giving More by rcdwings. memory loss buck cant remember his husband. Listen im not always a fun of memory loss fics but i loved this one i loved the twist.
there's a word for it, I'm sure by @ithilien-writes i have to reread this one asap cause i loved it so so much they are just so in love with each other but cant admit it so they just start having sex about it. And god they love esch other.
i could give you fifty reasons by @marviless buck FLIRTS with eddie cause he just want ti help. God this one was so much fun. I remember laughing out loud. I gotta reread.
beating the horse by @doitbuckley Eddie is moving to Texas. Buck finally figures out what he wants. Perfect read to the end of 8a.
In the Back Seat, Windows Up by @semperama SEX IN THE BACKSIT OF THE TRUCK LETSFUCKINGGOOOOOO
Play Me For Keeps by @semperama this one made me feel so MANY things in less than 1k words I WAS WONDERSTRUCK HONESTLY SMILING FROM EAR TO EAR
would you lie with me and just forget the world by @colonoscopys reread this one recently GODDDDD if you havent just go read it right now!!! Childhood friends to lovers for the win always.
your beauty (not just a mask) by @aashiqeddiediaz these next two fics GOD well i have a thing for mirrors and sex in front of mirrors apparently so... this i top tier for me. This one is the shorter one in front of the bathroom mirror 100/10 no notes.
my mirror (staring back at me) by @aashiqeddiediaz this one is longer. Mirror in the bedroom......... Eddie notices bucks insecurities and well he does smth about it ❤️🔥 such a fave of mine. It has everything!!!
Dreaming of a White Christmas by rosebuddiekin . Oh boy!!!... just gonna leave the blurb here cause no words could ever be enough: "Buck accepts a challenge to be edged in his and Eddie's own version of the 12 Days of Christmas and loses his mind a little more with each one." (Btw if someone knows the author please lmk. They put a link to their tumblr on ao3 but it doesnt work for me.)
123 notes
·
View notes
Text
ARCANE EPISODE 7!!!!
MY GOD I WASNT READY FOR ANY OF THIS!!! WHAT WAS THAT!!!
Also ekko wallpaper I got with my fries lmao
#OH MY GOOOD!!!!!! POWDER AND EKKO!!! AND BENZOOOOOO#ITS LITERALLY WHAT COULD HAVE BEEN OMGG!!!!! POWDER LOOKS SO CUTE 😭😭😭😭 IM CRYING ALREADYYYY#VANDER WITH A BUN!! AND EVERYTHING IS SO FULL OF LIGHT!!! HER EYES!!! MYLO LOOKS SO RIDICULOUS AKDJSK THIS GIRLAAA#“where would you be without her” WELL BUDDY IF YOU KNEW HOW HE IS WITH HER!!! VI IS DEAD????? OR SHE WAS TAKEN FOR THE INCIDENT!!!#LOOK AT WHAT YOU DID JAYCE!!! MY GOD!!! THE GEMS KILLED VI SO THEY JUST COMPLETELY PROHIBITED THEM!!! JAYCE IS IN JAIL PROBABLY!!#the fact we are seeing exactly why jayce should be sorry about what he has done.... and we are seeing him suffer because of it... cinema 🚬#also mel fading into viktor.... also has he realised how she manipulated him in the beggining??? there is so much stuff...#jayce eating contaminated animals and his wound being infected with the arcane too..... is that what will push him....#omg.... ekko likes powder so much... he apologised by painting actual adult vi portraits where the fallen are in his universe 😭😭😭#“she looks so badass” if you knew... is he gonna ask her to help him make hextech.... that is so sick and twisted....#also jayce hurting his leg loke viktor and having to use a cane and brace.... damn and you know whats worse..... that ekko could be like#this with the jinx of his universe IF ISHA HADNT DIED!!! AND IT IS BEACUSE OF JAYCE!! AGAIN!!!!! THIS MAN!!!!!#the drawing with the anomaly and the two men and the inifite symbol... we get it... jayce and viktor forever intertwined by fate....#powder is sensing something is off.... omg time travel..... THE LIMIT IS FOUR SECONDS AFTER HEIMERDINGER EPXLODED ALDHAKSHSKSJSOJSOSLS#i dont want a time travel ending.... if its done for plot to an extent is okay but idk about solving it all.... it makes it feel worhtless#claggor looks so fine its not even funny..... i cant wait to see what everyone thinks. WHERE IS THE LITTLE LADY bc hes called little man 😭#and vander with arm tattoos.... why did they hipster fied him.... he looks younger somehow ajdhakj he went from taking care of 4 kids to 3!#SILCO!!!! AND HE DID TRY TO KILL HIM!! ALSJAKSKAK Ekko just laighing at it.... girl i would be pissed STROMAE??? OMG POWDER!!!!#I JUST REALIZED THE PINK IN HER HAIR IS FOR VI!! AND HER JACKET!! AND A DRESS LIKE HER MOTHER'S!! CRYING!!! FULL BODY CHILLS!!!#CAN WE JUST PRETEND LIKE ITS THE FIRST TIME!!! I GAVE UP ON YOU!!! WHAT HAPPENED BACK THEN I NEED TO KNOW!!! IM SOBBING!!! EKKO!!!!#NOOOOOOO THE ANOMALY NOOOOO!!!! HEIMERDINGER NOOOOO!!!! AND THATS JAYCE!!! IS THAT MAGE VIKTOR???? the monkeys......#the vi toy with the out love song machine.... my god i wasnt expecting any of this i need to breathe i am stil tearing up my god#what a fucking punch in the stomach christ i cant breathe right akdhsksso#the credits saying the deries has benefited from a spanish tax rebate in the canary islands??? you're welcome i guess lmao#animation production carried out there and has ben collaboration with the Spanish gov... alright another win for perro sanxe#talking tag#watching arcane#watching arcane season 2#watching this i dont think im ready for caitvi sex.... after reconciliation even like what will be of me.... now im scared#i am still scared bc idk what happened to jinx and vi and cait still... thats what worried me and boom!! ekko powder with the steel chair..
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
so much
#so much has happened so much to say#friend who i spoke about in past REALLY pissed me off at my pole showcase#i do pole dancing and we had a showcase and ahe invited herself last minute on the day#which whatev u kno i was like ok shes making an effort to support me#then she goes and pulls me out of the crowd to tell me she wants to leave and my bf is gonna take her home#i was so upset cuz we had plans and i told her to her face what she did was rude#immediately starts back tracking. i dont trust like that.#it took me being visibly upset before you think about how your actions affect others??#not my bf telling u no he wants to stay bc i want to stay??#anyway fuck her. sick of puttng energy into her just to get disrespected again and again#back on my fucking no friends arc#but i love my bf. i really do.#i was upset w him too tbh but we talked it out and man is just a bit of a fucking pushover#i was like if youre not gonna defend and stand up for me i dont want to be with you. its important to me that i know youre on my side#i shouldnt have had to have handled that. you shouldve told her no and been done with it#and he said he did but i was like i had to come out. i had to say no. i shouldnt have had to have done that#missed out on the big group photo cuz of it#but pole is really fun my instructor reckons i can move to interprep abt halfway thru next term soooo exciting!!#i graded 2 combos yesterday#upside down flip both sides and climbing to the top of the pole#she got me to do a tuck spin too but i really need to work on my tucks#my wrists are instable so the tucks are extremely hard cuz if i fuck them up they HURT#lol#stefan is meeting my parents this week lol#and theyve invited him to christmas...#he doesnt like christmas and normally spends it w ppl w no families so idk if hell come#like truthfully i want him there but if hes not ready hes not ready i cant force him#i understand its a big thing and like overwhelming n what not#well see how he goes meeting them first#oh i love him
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
google how do i tell my dad that the reason i keep bringing up elon musk's transphobia isn't that i've got gen z political tunnel vision that makes me blind to his "innovation" in electric cars but because i am desperately crying out for you as the father of a trans child to feel just as outraged and angry as i am that that man has so much power
#edit: warning the tags get pretty personal whoops. however tumblr is like a diary to me so. but if discussions of father issues arent for u#it's not anything he's directly said but like. when we talk about it i can tell he's clinging to this like#image of musk as this inventor working for the good of humanity#because he's admired him for a long time and like i get it it's hard to let go of your heroes when it turns out they're trash#but. he's always been trash. is the thing. and i've been saying this.#and it would be nice to feel some solidarity! or support! or empathy idk!#and not like. lectures why tesla is actually progressive or why spacex is the best thing to happen to science since fucking penicillin#and sometimes ppl who push the world towards progress rub people the wrong way#god like. we were in the car the other day talking about it and i mentioned tesla moving to texas bc of the law protecting trans kids#and he mumbled something like well sure yeah he said that but Really... really it's about the taxes......#okay!! who give a shit! that's not the point! the point is that he's got fucking legions of alt right fanboys who hang off his every word#so when he says something that is good for trans people is actually dangerous and bad and hurts kids#and when he openly publicly deadnames and misgenders and LIES about his TRANS DAUGHTER. it's fucking dangerous! and it makes trans people#(IE ME. YOUR CHILD.)#feel unsafe!#it should get you angry! it should make you rethink how you saw him previously! it should make you want to stop supporting him!#idk. i mean my dad has never been like. against me being trans. and he's worked really hard on the pronouns and not deadnaming me#but it's stuff like this where it feels like he doesn't grasp how he's de-prioritizing my perspective as a trans person and.#his Child.#and how his first reaction to me starting t was 'no.. why would you do that :('#it just feels bad. i love him so much but it's shit like this that makes me feel like i don't matter to him or like i'm disappointing him#and then he gets confused when i tell him that i feel that way#wow! sorry for this. i should get serious about finding a therapist i dont think i knew i felt all this until i typed it out#im gonna add a tag at the beginning of this. as a warning. lolololol. lol. anyway#got 2 pick up my t tomorrow and also email my dr for more wellbutrin haha slay! hit the slay button. dispenses ssris.#god i'm so tired sorry i'm delirious actually. also i saw my brother this weekend which was so nice and he's such a weirdo which also#makes me weirder by proxy
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
legitimately what the fuck was that
#ig im dissapointed lmao#sorry most of it i just kind of expected (bram regaining his body and stopping the vampires. fyodor dying bc there isnt really anything els#you can do with him. dazai and chuuya both alive)#mostly i wish aya awakened an ability give her oneee also i want to see how they manifest#idk we'll see soon where this goes ig but 1. i really wish fukuzawa had just died alongside fukuchi and 2. that there would be some calmer#chapters more focused on political repercussions rather than more fighting but the 2 hours later thing isnt really pointing to that huh#ill have to reread this arc at some point bc fukuchis and fyodors plan got so convoluted i was barely following it#and also 1. what abt sigma do they just. leave her there#i mean surely not bc she has info on fyodor but dazai really just did not care#and 2. yeah i wish fukuzawa died but now that he didnt. does he???? just keep the one order#and wheres that fucking page#and whats exactly on it#bc i dont think they can just rewrite anything 1. they dont know how much space is on it and theyll need a lot to fix this mess#2. god knows if they even can do anything or if theres some condition written in already thatd stop them#also asagiri for the love of god get into anticapitalism bc you cant just go into criticing states and military without talking about it#and i still need the hunting dogs dead even if i know its likely not going to happen#but how are you going to go all “absolute power corrupts” and “omg fukuci dont create a military state” and then just leave the super cops#running around and getting redeemed bc “they mean well” yeah they do but it doesnt matter#they are complicit in the state violence THEY ARE state violence#asagiri pls i can show you theory you havent even dreamed of#txt.
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
i pass pretty much all the time but hm. ive heard interesting stuff from drunk ppl i know who dont know im trans
#''haha when my bf was talking about you and i asked to see a picture he showed me one and i was like... is that right? bc i thought that was#a girl in that pic. i mean only bc i didnt expect him to have any girlypop friends haha''#yeah i mean that is an average thing to say and not mean or anything but it hits a bit different when im trans#i mean the person saying that didnt know and if they did they would have never said anything like that#but it's still a bit. hmmm.#also the topic of my looks came up and it's funny how everyone thinks i'm cute#i wish i could b masc hot but im fine with being cute. not everyone can look good the same way#but like it's so common for the only compliment transmascs get being ''cute'' for various reasons but i think in my case it's just my#wavy hair and slight babyface and round features#which yeah ok whatever i'm still young - ive got plenty of time to start looking less like a boy and more like a man#as in even if i was a cis guy id look pretty much like this#though! im only 2 years on t so i cant wait what the future holds for how i'll look :3c#well almost 2 and a hlaf but yknow#also i have a slight. can i say this. ''tranny voice'' which. slay. but i was told i ''sound like a femboy'' which#once again super funny that ppl say that stuff bc they genuinely cant tell im trans#the only reason i pass is bc i get read as [justin mcelroy voice] kinda faggy#oh that guy over there with wide hips and feminine manners and voice and small feet and hands [compared to cis men] with an apparently cute#face who doesnt seem to know anything about stereotypical guy stuff? thats a cis man#and i love that#but also one of these ppl is not cis#if you saw me irl you'd know im insanely easy to clock for trans people#but yeah whatever im just amused by all this it's kind of fun having ppl not know im trans#but also i have a new friend who doesnt know and i think i should let him know at some point if it comes up bc idk man. it feels like im#living a secret life or something. like obviously no one has the right to know im trans but. i can make the choice of wanting someone toknow#but also hes my only guy friend who lives in this city. well technically not the only one i have another friend but we never hang out irl.#anyways i dont want to ruin our broship#i dont think itd get ruined and if it did itd just mean whatever but im still scared#agh idk#leevi talks
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
i think a not-insignificant amount of the heartbreak crowley’s feeling in the end is because he’s finally truly understanding that what’s happening with aziraphale (as he perceives it) isn’t something that he can save him from.
#good omens#good omens 2#spoilers#good omens 2 spoilers#like if there's truth in the coffee theory that'll be a whole other thing but if its all straightforward As Perceived#i do think that tracks and i do think that clicked#and there's something very real and painful about that idk#like you can't undo an entire existence of that manipulation and abuse and how much of aziraphale's sense of self is#wrapped up in it all. being an angel being Good serving a Purpose#crowley can give love and support and patience#be a sounding board and ask questions that help aziraphale step back from things and think sometimes#but that greater disconnect and that final realization of what heaven really is. he can't do that FOR aziraphale#aziraphale has to live and experience that on his own and finally actually let himself feel that#bc i think he's very good at not letting himself think about or feel those things even after being so crushed in s1#idk i feel a lot of religious trauma feelings about it i think it parallels that abusive relationship for a reason#like dont get me wrong the BULK of crowleys pain is from that interaction just generally and that rejection#but i think this also plays into it i think that perspective of someone who was thrown out and had the blinders removed#and having this interaction and realizing Oh. Oh there are still hooks deep into aziraphale there's this festering damage#Oh there's no amount of talk or hypotheticals that will sever the tether for him bc even after everything aziraphale BELIEVES. in heaven#as an institution. and idk man im just fascinated with that angle of it for crowley bc its like#SO complex
11 notes
·
View notes
Text
.
#in the past i would have given up but now im like#oh right if i want something..... i gotta go for it and make it happen HDJDJDJDJDJDJ#itd be easier to give up tho LOL. god....#idk im just................ what if like. nothing even happens n i spejt all this time liking him like that would SUCK. hhhhhhhhh#i should just see if him n my ither friend wanna hang out but im ANXIOUS ABOUT ASKING#BC. GOD. the longer i dont see someone the more im like.... oh they probably didnt even like me that much JDJDJDJD#like this even happens with ppl ive been friends with for 15 years like i am just THAT insecure????#maybe not insecure.... idk. i think i just.... dont wanna get hurt so i tell myself that ppl dont actually like me. but thats like so dumb.#bc thats like... borrowing grief from the future right????? and like hhhhh god#idk i just like. sometimes its better to have 0 expectations or hopes??????#idk romance has never worked out for me b4 so why would it this time#tho to be fair this is the first time ive actually like wanted stuff to keep happening.#prev guys ive been like oh god oh no this is so fast#and its like. just them wanting to talk constantly#but now i have this guy that i talk to like. every 1 to 2 weeks LOL GOD#im trying to hang in there#i think its just that its passed 2am#idk idk#im just.............!!!!#and like what if bc im not moving fast enough.... he moves on JDJJDKDKDKDKDMDMMDMD#but then its like.... ok it wasnt meant to be then....??????#god this is so JDJDJJDJDJDJD#be careful what u wish for bc like. i said i always wanted a friends first slow burn and LMAO.......#hhhh n e way#im also like maybe i jynxed this whole thing by talking about it too much 😭😭😭#ugh whatever... im so JDJFJFJDMDMMD#personal
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
and if i said.... pet.er peve.nsie.....
#i have never read the books but ive just watched the first 2 narnia movies#it was def my first time seeing prince caspian idk ab the other narnia i probs watched it as a kid#but he..... he is calling me#mr doomed blonde twink who makes poor choices but is doing his best....... welcome back all my muses#i was gonna say welcome back kurt but... tate... levi.... probably more#ive never been. Good at writing fantasy im not great w anything that requires lore#hes just. oh hes calling to me#and the. specifically the pains of living a life in narnia and being king and then having to go back to the real world and be Just A Kid#idk if hes in the third movie im ab to watch it now but the bitter sweet end of 2 where he says hes leaving narnia and he wont be coming ba#and aslan says its bc he has nothing more to learn from it like..... kinda heartbreaking and would destroy u as a person#a world where ur king and u do everything u can to make the right choices but u dont do things really right and u get people killed#and yeah narnia prevails but it doesnt prevail bc of u. its in part bc of u but ur decision cost lives it risked a lot#and then its like. well ur leaving now and thats it bc it taught u what u needed to learn#and like maybe it did but he had no chance at redemption at fixing things there like his redemption was to leave it to someone more capable#and then he has to just like. go be a person. and live a normal life#like thats wild#im gonna go watch the third movie if u have read the books sound off on if u think i should based entirely on my little rant ab peter#the issue here tho. is if i made him. u see. two muses named peter on this blog... both with a last name starting w p.... its almost like.#its almost like one would have to be a solo blog#'but quin ur literally never here anyway' but what if for a hyperfixation muse i was here#this post started w the intent of 'narnia peter solo blog' but now... i am thinking perhaps spider peter would be a better solo bc of his.#bc of the fixation i have#however he intimidates me a Lot as a solo blog bc hes such a. everyone knows him u know hes a Big muse and i fear the pressure of that#then again narnia i think is big too? and theres the talks of the new movies so thats also potentially big muse#its crazy bc i have sososo much muse for every muse i have but my brain is saying abandon this blog and make both peters solos#and i Cant do that#but at the same time................................#my issue has always been too many blogs and being stretched too thin but also. w all due respect. who cares#like i am here to have fun and most of the time my blogs dont last bc no one writes w me not bc i dont want those muses#and yeah theres no guarantee making a new blog would change that but idk. kinda vibe w the idea of starting new
1 note
·
View note
Text
did i make a mistake?
#sigh dawnie crush issues in the tags#so yeah fair warning#...........................................................................................................................................#idk man I just. i feel like instead of getting closer weve grown more distant ever since he asked me out and its killing me man#i dont wanna be hurt. im so fragile rn and just starting to heal from the years of trauma i faced in my family. when i try to talk#about any issue i have to him he just. ignores the text#or gives me a very dry response which hey. im not trying to say u should listen to my issues all the time. i get that some people dont want#to. but i would just much rather have someone tell me that directly yk? just a hey i dont do well with rants. but the thing is he said hes#fine with them. but then when i get nothing to address it i just. i feel hurt. like... ive started to wonder if hes just keeping the#relation for namesake at this point but ik that isnt true. weve only been dating 2 weeks or so i shouldnt judge so soon. but man its hard#to not overthink ive always been conditioned to do that. ive always been super excited when he plans a date (which he doesnt even call#a date) but when i try to plan smth its always that he has some other plan to attend to which again i get it im not the jealous date who#asks her s/o to be for her every waking moment but yk it does hurt and i feel instead of just letting it bottle up its better to admit it.#i tried to ask him to get cotton candy once and he said wed go the next day and then he forgot. never asked me a time or anything. i didnt#think of it much cuz hed gone to meet a friend outside the city and he mustve been tired. yesterday i asked him again and he said he was#again going outside the city to meet his 12th grader friend. man am i jealous of that girl who gets to spend more time with the guy#who asked me out than ive collectively spent with him#and no i dont mean this in a toxic way like “oh hes meeting other girls he shouldnt do that” i just. man i pictured so much out of my first#relationship. and i got nothing. not one thing out of it. i guess it makes sense cuz my love language is mostly physical touch and u cant#really do that in a campus in India. and its also wrong of me to hold him to such high standards of a perfect relationship when the guy#himself has been in one for the first time (i assume?) but like i said id rather not try to hide my emotions and express them out openly.#theres still so much more about this that i feel wrong but the thing is its confusing cuz i feel like the two years of torture in my house#has made it so that the trauma from never hearing i love you wnd words of affirmation from my parents has been reflecting off this place.#its wrong of me to do this but i expected everything that i couldnt recieve to be fulfilled in a relationship and i now realise how stupid#i was yk? cuz its wrong of me to put such harsh expectations on him like that. i feel like such a shallow person for getting depressed over#a relationship that has just been going for 1 week#theres also the thing where he generally seemed more excited to talk to me before? and now i just get the dryest responses ever out of#which no conversation can be built. and again im not expecting him to be online and respond immediately but a thoughtful response goes a#long way. again ik im being so harsh on him cuz its his first time too and he must be facing the same awkwardness im facing but jesus. i#ok my tags are over im continuing in a reblog
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
wish i was smashing my coworker(s) w comically large cartoony mallets rn
#one of em (n this is normal for him) showed up an hr n a half late#2 of em who shld have been here 2ish hrs ago didnt show up n apparently also didnt call in#someone in at 1 has already called in (i only know cuz i had to call abt the missing 6am ppl)#so its just been me for like 2 n a half hrs so today will be fucked probably 👍#n the guy whos aaaalways late is makin me so mad rn he almost never has any excuse just like well here he is now#n when hes here he doesnt even like work hard n i get it like he says he doesnt give a shit abt this place#but its likeee i guess no solidarity or sympathy for ur coworkers who are in the same boat huh :/#n i asked if he would do the job i usually do today (partly cuz i even mentioned he says he doesnt care if customers yell at him#n i rly do n shit will be late today so.) but he didnt feel like it ofc n said some shit abt 'logistically'#he shld be doin the other job (paranoid abt talking abt my job in too much detail can u tell lol)#cuz his speed that we can look at is usually faster than mine i assume he meant#n rn so far for the day we have the exact same rate. ok die#sry idk work fills me w rage like not much else tbh#p#rly dont wanna see my dipshit manager when he gets here later either#i just knowww he'll ask why we arent further ahead n ill def be honest ngl#just gotta be civil which is hard for me w him due to i hate him so much
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
bros i am not doing too hot
#no privacy ever in this place cus i share a room w 2 other people#all my really good friends are 2 thousand miles away#i feel distracted all the time like im not quite dissociated i dont think but i just dont feel all there 100%#i cant talk to people properly cus my social anxiety is getting worse again#like i just feel weak and tired and strange and disconnected and idk what to do#its one of my old friends bday and i told him yay happy bday and hes proposing to the girl hes been dating for a while#and it just feels weird to know that someone i used to be close with has changed so much#and i feel so stagnant#like i havent changed at all#but i also look so different#i.cant wait to graduate#i feel insane every day#sorry for the yappage hopefully no one read this LMFAO
1 note
·
View note
Text
Ok, the boss is no more! There were some super stressful moments but surprisingly we all survived o:
My animal companion got hit with disintegrate, but we had hero points to make him avoid it. I would cry actually, because disintegrate means no resurrection x_x
The war is prevented! At least this one, because Cayden's party is right at the center of a much bigger one just starting. Today we saved the country. Cayden is trying to not even save the whole world, just maybe slow the whole thing down and save as much people as possible...
#majek says shit#I have the diamond for a raise animal companion spell but it can only be used if you have a body and even then there are restrictions#and Kela wouldn't even know about it until after the fight because she got trapped between a wall of force and a stone golem?#or a stone Big Humanoid Fucker idk what that technically was but it would've killed me pretty fast#and it all was in an area of supernatural darkness emanating from the powergamer's character...#which interfered with so much of everyone else's actions and we even addressed it before the session that it's a bad idea to cast this#but its ok because HE will be able to see through it and HE won't be targeted easily:))))#he also almost ended the encounter in the first round of proper combat...#by using mechanics so outrageous but technically ambiguous enough that our GM can't deny them by using only RAW...#and he prefers to settle arguments by going as RAW as possible...#and it wasn't a problem until now when we have a player who exploits to an actually unbelievable extent#we shared our character sheets online yesterday and I finally saw his... still have no idea how the character works#because like half the stuff is custom and missing from the app#he has 9 AC in the app and allegedly 32 AC before buffs...#and the GM says the math checks out but 1. nobody saw that math besides him and 2. so far he trusted that player without too much questions#and only recently he actually realised he's been manipulated multiple times when me and some others started dismantling that players actions#I so hope this was the last session with that person#the worst thing is I think he's an ok guy when I'm not playing any kind of game with him#and I understand different people find enjoyment in different aspects of games - his being figuring out how far he can go with the rules#and there are whole groups of people who like to play like that and enjoy the challenge of making the most broken “build” possible#but the rest of the group are not that kind of people. maybe some like to have fun with researching what's possible#but it's never the purpose of the game and these things dont find their way into the actual game#I'm actually considering the possibility of just leaving the campaign if he stays there... I know I whine a lot in the tags#about different players that get on my nerves for various reasons. it sounds like I'm never happy about anything#but our group is big and we play together as a friend group in 4 different campaigns now (I'm in 3 of them)#and every one of these smaller groups has it's issues. sometimes it's the characters not matching and sometimes different expectations#or interpersonal stuff that can be worked out. this here is not a group composition issue because the powergaming attitude is everywhere#it's impossible to talk casually between sessions and confronting the guy leads to like actual temper tantrums#literally said “the fuck do I care if the party dies I'm not gonna be useful anymore” after the GM gave him feedback to maybe ease it up#he never says things like that when the gm or me are present but we still get info. he just can't be confronted by the gm like that
1 note
·
View note
Text
i am going to kms
#having a like 2 minute cry bc he raised his voice and i feel awful ajdkbdksbdksb#it wasnt even an angry yell thing it was just an ‘shut up . stop it’ type yell ???? and im using yell very loosely here#it wasnt a yell but like a Louder Voice than normal#i didnt mean to make him feel bad idk i feel like an absolute piece of shit !!! i should die probably#i just asked if he wanted to get off with me n idk maybe i took the playful ‘fuck you wtf :(‘ type thing too far#i shouldve known tbh he said he was tired lol i probably shouldnt of asked in the first place#its fine i dont think he hates me but like ‘im sorry im tired okay ???’ was like ajbskbdksb im sorry i didnt mean to !!!#like i know how being pressured into that sorta shit feels and i feel so bad i rlly didnt mean to make him upset#maybe it was me talking that was annoying#idk im just stressed from everything today has been so bad#on a stupid family holiday when all i want to do is just be at home and play games and sleep in a house that i know is safe#and hes working now so we cant talk very much and i missed him so maybe i was talking too much#i feel awful man i just want to applogise non stop but i literally Cant Talk and it hurts abdskbdks#to him this probably isnt a big deal but ….#to me its kinda ??? like ive messed up ?????? he hates me now ?????? i made him feel like shit and that i only want him for sex ???? hhh#whatever idk im so tired i just wanna go home honestly#i want to restart the last 30 mins n literally just shut up#if only i could cut rn#jamie.txt
0 notes
Text
ohhh i miss my baby brother 😭😭😭😭
#man. fml. fuck everything why did i move here i miss him#like ik the reason i moved here but seeing as it was a stupid fucking reason LMAO#anyways. wahhh. my mom told me this cute story abt him at school#Luckily his teachers have been rly eyl rly good with his autism like. they reach out to my mom abt everything and its all very smooth#which im so glad abt bc ive legit been so terrified. abt him going to school#BUT its going very well.. he is very into rules hes quite lamp in that way (lamp liked rules when they were little)#but ya. the cute story was his teachers were rly confused bc he would get really really frustrated at the merrygoround#and would be stopping other kids from getting on it so the teachers would reexplain the rules to him#n they briught it up with my mom and my mom was like. Oh no he knows the rules. the first day of school he came home and told me all of the#rules JDBFHFN. he was just frustrated bc his classmates werent following the rules#so the teachers were like ohhh and thanked wee for following the rules. and basically Screams im so glad its going well#i dont get 2 talk 2 him much so idk likee. if he has a lot of friends..i hope he has a few though
0 notes
Text
(based off a discord message with my friend)
percy has so much casual trust in poseidon and i dont think he even realizes it
like. its just so casual and natural that you barely even notice
imagine everyones the argo 2 and are like ‘so should we fly?’ and they all turn to jason whos like: idk if my dad will like if we fly, especially either nico (son of hades) and percy (son of poseidon), so percy, would we be able to go on the ocean? and percys: oh yea my dad wont let anything happen, he doesnt really mind that jason (son of jupiter) and nico (son of hades) are here, when i sailed with annabeth (daughter of athena) he didnt try to hurt her or anything, so yea we’ll be good
and everyone else is just. flabbergasted about how casually percy puts like. full trust into his father, without a second (maybe even first) thought
then they meet poseidon after the war (and after he talks to and helps percy) and they realize why
cuz hes just. so much more chill than they thought hed be. like he doesnt even blink at percy and nicos friendship and is even like ‘so you tell are getting along better now? thats great and brilliant keep up the good work (i love you two), and with annabeth he pats her on the back: annabeth, dear! you did great on your quest, youre (bitch ass) mother hasnt said anything about it, but i have a good feeling shes proud (i am too. i love you). and with the rest of the seven he just. doesnt give a shit /pos. like: yea ik you kinda left my son to fall in tartarus and i am still kinda pissed about that- but hey you seem like you all get along fairly well so who gives a shit (he does. so much)
and the rest of the seven are like. hey. hey percy. do you. do you realize how much your father cares about you.? and percy, with the shittiest self esteem ever is like: well yea he does, a bit. but i dont think its that much
meanwhile poseidon is so close to adopting all of percys friends (thalia nico and annabeth mostly) with shitass parental issues and trauma bc if percy cares and loves for them, then if sally taught him anything, he can too dammit
#discord inspo#good dad poseidon#percy jackson#hoo#heroes of olympus#the seven#jason grace#nico di angelo#annabeth chase#pjo poseidon#percy and poseidon
1K notes
·
View notes