#in the past i would have given up but now im like
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bangcakes · 9 months ago
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#in the past i would have given up but now im like#oh right if i want something..... i gotta go for it and make it happen HDJDJDJDJDJDJ#itd be easier to give up tho LOL. god....#idk im just................ what if like. nothing even happens n i spejt all this time liking him like that would SUCK. hhhhhhhhh#i should just see if him n my ither friend wanna hang out but im ANXIOUS ABOUT ASKING#BC. GOD. the longer i dont see someone the more im like.... oh they probably didnt even like me that much JDJDJDJD#like this even happens with ppl ive been friends with for 15 years like i am just THAT insecure????#maybe not insecure.... idk. i think i just.... dont wanna get hurt so i tell myself that ppl dont actually like me. but thats like so dumb.#bc thats like... borrowing grief from the future right????? and like hhhhh god#idk i just like. sometimes its better to have 0 expectations or hopes??????#idk romance has never worked out for me b4 so why would it this time#tho to be fair this is the first time ive actually like wanted stuff to keep happening.#prev guys ive been like oh god oh no this is so fast#and its like. just them wanting to talk constantly#but now i have this guy that i talk to like. every 1 to 2 weeks LOL GOD#im trying to hang in there#i think its just that its passed 2am#idk idk#im just.............!!!!#and like what if bc im not moving fast enough.... he moves on JDJJDKDKDKDKDMDMMDMD#but then its like.... ok it wasnt meant to be then....??????#god this is so JDJDJJDJDJDJD#be careful what u wish for bc like. i said i always wanted a friends first slow burn and LMAO.......#hhhh n e way#im also like maybe i jynxed this whole thing by talking about it too much 😭😭😭#ugh whatever... im so JDJFJFJDMDMMD#personal
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samarecharm · 8 months ago
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geniunely not trying to put words in ur mouth im geniunely asking: what do you actually like about persona 5? from all ur rants im just wondering why you didnt drop the game bc it seems (again, im not trying to put words in ur mouth) that it simply not for you? i geniunely have not felt any of the issues you bring up outside of the writing ones and i cannot tell if i'm just easily pleased and not good at discerning what a good game is or we simply have dif things we enjoy in a video game. i hate getting tone across text but im asking out of geniune curiosity im not trying to attack your opinion (;-;)
Nah, i dont feel like ur attacking me, and I hope u dont feel the same when u see my complaints! Lmao. In my defense, I am replaying the game for the first time after completing my first file back in 2020, so alot of the faults i kinda shrugged off in my first playthrough are now glaringly in my face now that I no longer have the confusion and interest in learning the main story to keep me occupied. The game is clunky all the way through, and at some times, even frustratingly so.
But despite that, i do like this game. Alot! Its probably one of my top games ever if im being honest!
This ended up way longer than I intended, so im putting it under a readmore to keep the post short on dashboards
If i had to describe what I liked about the game in the simplest way imaginable…I think I would say, I like how the game makes me feel :) I like the music. I like the vibe. I like the immersion from city to city, and I like the premise! I like the characters and I like the connections you make with these characters! As im replaying this game, i am most excited to see Akira and his comments about the world :) i like hearing everyones voices, I like their little interactions in Mementos, and I like seeing them fight!
P5 is the first game I played in the series; its the game that introduced me to SMT in the first place! And it (smt) is a series that my longtime best friend LOVES and never thought hed be able to share with me! It is a game i keep very near to my heart; it has influenced me in ways i did not think would happen in the short couple of years since i first finished it. It genuinely keeps me awake some nights thinking about the world this game has created, and I think that is a testament to the impact its had, be it good or bad.
The joke about wishing theyd make a persona game that was Good is that despite all of its numerous flaws, the games manage to snatch your attention and pull you in anyway. Imagine if they made a game that had all of those things that i mentioned I loved, but done Right and executed Properly?? Where I got to have a story that made sense and didnt need to be spoonfed to me (in like an HOUR of dialogue and scenes; an HOUR!), and characters that talked and bonded beyond the tiny snippets of interaction theyre allowed to have in mementos? Combat that let me use PERSONAS i liked instead of BUILDS that stop me from getting instakilled throughout the entirety of the endgame, and a Persona building mechanic that didnt feel like I was shooting in the dark looking for possible fusions that end up not even being useful in the endgame.
Ive mentioned it before, but I complain so much bc I have seen what a good p5 game looks like, and its Strikers almost to a T. Combat is still your typical warriors-esque style combat, but it is at least different from the turn based strategy of the main game. Characters talk to each other freely, they hang out and comfort each other in a way that feels more connected that the base game. Strikers implements the ability to see ALL possible fusions with ALL registered personas, not just the ones in your Stock, so you can fuse easily without having yo consult a guide. The story feels like it makes SENSE with antagonists that feel morally grey and sympathetic. Genuinely, alot of the complaints for p5 I had were almost immediately rectified in this game.
But please also know that the praises I sing for this game is only bc of the groundwork laid by p5 and the world it created. Thats what I like about this game, that it had such a captivating premise and cast of characters, that a DIFFERENT company was able to hit the ground running with them. P5 had alot happening in that game, but i think what it had most was potential. The effort put into this game is astronomical, and the possible connections you can outright MISS if u arent paying attention was worth the money and time to implement; even if it meant that it could be considered a waste of resources to higher ups.
Books and games and part time jobs???!! Silly little cutscenes that add nothing to the game PLOTwise, but define and flesh out the personality of your protagonist. There was alot of love put into this game, and its evident by the fact that we have NOT seen a new persona game released; they bank on existing titles bc they are unwilling to make a game like this from scratch again. They dont want to ‘waste’ resources on good voice acting and a complex, overarching story; they dont want to waste money on scenes a player may never see, on routes a player may never get to experience. Making a game that gives u even the slightest bit of freedom means more money in programming and detailing that freedom. This has been an issue for a WHILE, and its a miracle that the gaming landscape had space for a colossal title like p5!
I complain bc I want better, and I do not think that is inherently at odds with my love of this game. In b4 im told to get good; ive played on hard and tested out merciless (its NOT fun, im making godbuilds again and its boring 😞). Its not the most accessible turnbased rpg; theres no colorblind modes, and the affinity system is convoluted and overwhelming. Combo moves are hard to keep track of and it can be incredibly frustrating to see your turns being skipped or seeing characters take extreme technical damage without understanding WHY it happened. The fact that they KNEW the game was desperate for qol improvements by the time royal came out, and instead of updating the base game to have those improvements too, they just pushed the royal edition out for people to play instead. It sucks! Customers and fans deserve better than being forced to shell out money for a game they already played !
As the gaming climate gets more and more hostile and unbearable, I think it is good to look at your games critically, and understand why products come out subpar. Persona 5 is a fun game that has a nice cast and an interesting premise, but it is ultimately tied down by its refusal to build on existing building blocks regarding its combat, and it insists on having insulting and downright out of character dialogue and scenes to appease the audience its designed to be targeted to. It is easy to forget sometimes that queer ppl are infact NOT the prime target of these games, its cishet gamer bros from aged 16 to 40 who will laugh at homophobic comments, who drool over a 16 yr old girl with a 16 yr old mindset and a grown womans body, who need to be placated with constant sexual comments to deal with a convoluted story that will inevitably make zero sense until its laid out for you before the literal end of the game.
Its bad. Its good. Its so shallow and its unbelievable that they thought having the plot twist make ZERO sense until they showed CUTSCENES of YOUR character discussing Goro and his connections to the metaverse for endgame SHOCK VALUE was more important than just having your team be smart and piece it together over time. Its shit. Its literally amazing. It let you FUCK your teacher ??????????????what the FUCK. They also let me shoot a god in the face w the best looking ult persona in the world so i can ignore that shit. And ultimately that is how i got through the game. Lol.
#chattin#answered#i have mentioned it before but i did NOT romance anyone#u know why? bc i literally didnt know it existed#i maxed out ann and the game was like ‘hey. this next decision is important’#and i was like. huh. u know what. i have not looked up a guide until now. thats scary. i dont want to lose a confidant…#and learned that.#so uh. i really DID go through the game bot realizing i could date anyone. even the adults.#anyway. this was alot. and i tried to keep out alot of my other complaints#bc i have so many. but they are like. either nitpicky things or things that are issues in lots of games too#like the models suck in this game but i can look past that. graphics are always bottom on the list of complaints#and i do like the little animations!! i like akiras little tics#and i like seeing personas do their casting animations; shiki ouji and nekomata are my faves#i distinctly remember that being a thing i wished to see more of.#bc i liked thinking of what joker would look like fighting for Real#and then i remembered him being in smash so i was like COOL. ill look at those#and then i got STRIKERS and it was exactly what I wanted#i think#the game is like.#its bad. but in ways that i wouldnt call another game bad#like back 4 blood is BAD bad. its awful. the gameplay is bad. the story was shit. and the servers shut down within a year or two of launch#risk of rain 2 is bad in the way that it continuously obscures and withholds information to the player. its tedious and frustrating#but unlike b4b i LIKE ror2 and will continue to enjoy it.#bc the gameplay loop FEELS satisfying#and ultimately thats how i feel about p5#for all of its faults; its fun. it has a gameplay loop that is consistent and fun when u get the hang of it#im playing on hard again since merciless is just me making the right instakill builds while i pick up my team over and over again#and theres still a challenge in having the endgame weapons and armor#its satisfying! and i think its satisfying bc I was given the luck of having this be my introduction into the series#maybe i would have a better opinion on the game if i came from p4. or maybe not! who knows !
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imaginarianisms · 8 months ago
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more asoiaf comparisons, parallels & antiparallels to the first dance of the dragons vs the second & final dance of the dragons (& possibly the sixth blackfyre rebellion): the blacks being daenerys i targaryen's supporters, the golds being aegon vi targaryen's supporters, tommen baratheon being a close equivalent to gaemon palehair & his mother essie & sylvenna sand which may be interpreted as a parallel with queen cersei lannister & taena merryweather of myr, trystane truefyre being a close equivalent to aegon/young griff & perkin being jon connington & the shepherd being the new high septon the high sparrow, dalton greyjoy being euron i greyjoy's ancestor & the latter surpassing him, alyn waters later alyn velaryon resembling aurane waters later aurane velaryon & finishing what their ancestors started. history repeats itself.
#LIKE!!!! LOOK AT THE PARALLELS BRUH#it kinda makes me wonder who the hightowers would support this time...#its literally so wild how history repeats itself#i think the lannisters would support aegon after he takes king's landing bc they're lowkey fucked either way.#cersei lannister's probably either in hiding at casterly rock or will end up as aegon's political prisoner. maybe jaime too idk.#i have no idea who would lead the lannisters on the side of the golds now that kevan's dead killed by varys tho... maybe genna lannister?#cersei jaime & tyrion's aunt? to parallel johanna lannister who attacked the ironborn like a boss bitch??#i personally predict aegon'll marry sansa who would have the north the riverlands & the vale at her back—it'd be arranged by baelish & varys#i also think it's possible he'd take arianne martell as another wife to parallel aegon & his wives visenya & rhaenys.#so by taking sansa & arianne as his wives & queens both of whom are well beloved in their countries he'd restore honor to their houses.#bc aerys & later the baratheon dynasty was a terrible time for the starks & the martells so he brings the north & dorne back into the fold.#so by marrying sansa he honors & respects her given her past betrothal to joffrey & forced marriage to tyrion & mending what aerys did#particularly to her grandfather rickard stark & her uncle brandon stark & to her aunt lyanna stark.#& by marrying arianne he's restoring honor to house martell considering all the bs his mother elia martell experienced in king's landing.#(whether elia actually Is his mother or who he perceives her to be) & restoring the line of succession again in dornish hands#& they'd probably marry him on the condition that the northerners & dornish gets special rights & privileges that others don't.#& not to mention that the targaryens starks & martells have a common enemy.#polygamy's a big nono in the faith of the seven but that didn't stop aegon & his wives & im sure after everything w/ the faith rn??#w/ cersei & the sparrows?? & considering aegon's actually a decent person & he'll be foreshadowed to be popular & loved??#i don't think most would bat an eye tbh. i actually think daenerys would wanna talk to aegon first tho.#then everything & everyone around them goes to shit & they end up fighting bc like. daenerys wants SO BADLY to have a family.#so like i don't see her immediately perceiving aegon as a threat.#the starks & most of the north would prolly be wary of dany @ 1st due to aerys & having a MASSIVE army w/ three dragons until the long night#except for like. maybe jon. but anyway the martells could be slightly wary of dany bc of what happened with quentyn in meereen.#idk maybe there's a division in the north & dorne. i think sansa & arianne would actually get along personally.#anyway im presuming stannis is gonna be at the nightfort & i personally don't think he's ever gonna come south again. he'll die at the wall.#ooc.
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immortalsins · 1 month ago
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gantt charts are actually great i'm so sorry for making jokes with engineering people about gantt charts but at the same time i'd rather sink into the pits of hell than show up to my supervisor meeting tomorrow and say 'well sir i have this gantt chart'
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flintbian · 2 years ago
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Man, life is just depressing right now
#the one thing that was keeping me sane has gone away#i would always say 'yeah every medical professional has given up and there's nothing they can do. but at least i have my PTs' well...#my current PT's are the only ones that ever treated me like a person and they always kept trying...but they've given up too#basically Clare was like we haven't made any gains in over a year and your state keeps getting worse. nothing we do helps#so it may be time to consider stopping bc throwing away money isnt helpful either#and i argued that it's damage control and improves my quality of life and i have a progressive disease i never was going to get better#not to mention mentally it helps to know there's people in my corner and at least they haven't given up on me#but now they have and im feeling so very very alone and hopeless#it's not like this is a surprise right? ive always been beyond help and it's an incurable degenerative disease#but still getting to this point fucking sucks#and i went to the new neurologist and he had nothing but crazy experiments bc ive tried fucking everything#and then to top it off the only doctor i trusted from when i was a teenager for one specific med issue had also said the same#literally this week she was like there's nothing more. i cant help find someone else. sorry kid. wishing you the best#and Xmas is a depressing and challenging time too#and i have 400 med problems while trying to find work#the past few weeks have pulverized me and i havent stopped crying in days#so yeah. terribly terribly alone#and im trying not to go down any spirals and havent. my therapist was out this week. but im seriously questioning the point#at this point maybe i should give up too#im being stubborn bc no i cant go yet i havent seen the lights yet or read my new books#but honestly i havent been able to read partially bc im afraid if i do im losing the last tethers to earth#there's not much or anything to live for#it's at times like these you truly realize how much you dont want to die. you just wish you could live#but im broke and freezing and in pain and alone. this story's ending fucking sucks#my dbt is coming in clutch but seriously. is there a point anymore?#never got to live. sick since a kid. hell was always here#sorry for the depressing state of things ill go back to being insane in a moment#p
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snekdood · 19 days ago
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and now that nigels gone, you dont have to pretend to care about black people anymore. even though you're supposedly a devout christian of some flavor so surely you also believe your god and your dead friends are watching over you with a judging eye- so im not sure why you're so giddy thinking you can 'get away with' being a bigot now that hes dead. do you believe god punishes sinners or not? oh wait- no… in your made up reality where nothing is congruent and we have lots of contradicting beliefs-- god just punishes the people you dislike, huh?
#vent#jake#gonna start a tag for you bc im done being considerate of you. ive been too considerate of you and not trying to step on you my whole#fucking life. i didnt talk about what you did to me for so long bc people asked me not to. but im tired.#you're an alt righter now. its a given. obviously you're a fucking rapist. me coming out with what you did at this point changes nothing#its more of a 'duh' moment rn. but in the past? lord knows all of those hoes from school wouldnt have believed me bc for some reason#people are easily charmed by bigoted assholes because they think its funney and dont want to have to be critical of them#bc then they dont have the funney man to laugh at anymore. and god forbid they not have that. god forbid they have to be serious#for fucking once in their lives.#maybe thats why you did the clout chasing. bc so long as you appeared accepting of minorities and project any of the shitty shit#you do on to me- then no one would believe me. is that why you did what you did? it wouldnt surprise me.#and thats why it doesnt matter now that you're not in school... no one to beat you up for being a rapist pos now.#all of this me keeping it shut up for so long hoping you wouldnt turn out to be a bigot and for what.#its almost like @my parents you should have made a stronger fucking point of punishing him for that shit. instead of a fucking slap#on the fucking wrist. not that im sure my dad cares he'd let anything happen to me if it meant you'd stay a right winger.
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andragoras-in-vanity · 3 months ago
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i literally have anxiety about being single for fall again, i cant do this again and im still not living in nova scotia like im supposed to be and no one cares. my stomach literally is ripping itself apart because this fucking sucks and im touchstarved but im so sick of spineless little boys i cant even risk a hookup, which always make me feel like shit anyone like im cheating on someone ive never even met, and i dont know what to do about it, someone help please. in any way, just please help me.
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orcelito · 4 months ago
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I was on call for nearly 7 hours between streaming my samurai game, watching anime, and then just chatting some. Which was really great for getting my mind off things!!! Hung out with a good assortment of friends, which was pretty great.
Though. Now I'm alone again. Which I usually enjoy. But it also has me remembering why I was on such a long call to start with...
I have therapy tomorrow, and I don't know whether I should mention this. She's primarily my grief therapist, so it'd maybe feel weird to spring something else on her... but I don't know...
#speculation nation#just kinda remembering again how fickle it all was.#all the compliments... the 'i love you's... nearly 6 months of them...#dropped so suddenly for a days-long infatuation...#ultimately i guess it's for the best that this happened before i got Too deep into it.#unlike my ex from 2020. where i was literally living with him and genuinely contemplating eventual marriage.#the idea was floated vaguely of my recent ex and i living together next year if we were still together by then.#so if she's gonna be so shallow and selfish as to drop me just like that for a new 'love'...#going so far as to say she doesnt actually love me & every time she said it was just automatic impulse...#like. ouch.#adding in the fact that i admitted to her that i struggle with trust and abandonment issues#due to prior experiences with being dropped for being too difficult or having someone choose some1 else over me...#she promised that i was the only one she wanted to actually date... but then turned around out of nowhere and said she wanted to add one#but when i stood my ground and voiced my concern about her daying someone else given the obvious communication issues going on#(aka her standing me up without warning and ignoring me all day. which she said was bc she was too distracted by the person#she's in 'love' with. to the point where i just wasnt even a thought in her mind...)#(though i literally called her when she didnt show up to the time we agreed on. idk how she'd miss it. but oh well.)#anyways i was rightfully worried about it. and Thats when she ignored me again only to say she couldnt see us working out#bc there was no way of her feeling the same way with me that she does with Her...#frankly i think shes blinded by infatuation and is going to regret this later down the line.#throwing a good thing away for a passing fancy who's planning on moving away soon Anyways.#but. well. it's not my problem anymore is it? even if she begged for me back theres no way i would#after the absolute shitshow that's been the past day.#and it sucks bc i really did like her and spending time with her. but im glad it happened now. before i got too deep in it.#i'll give myself time to recover. focus on my interests again. and school.#and in a few months' time maybe i'll join the dating pool again. this time with a better idea of my wants and boundaries.#it really sucks to have 10 exes. it's kind of embarrassing. but with each one im learning more about myself.#in time maybe i'll find the person that's right for me. who wont drop me bc im too much of a hassle or bc someone else is better.#i have worth as a person. im not perfect but plenty of people do like me.#and i'll find the person who wants to stay with me for good. sometime. eventually.
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gelastocoridae · 1 year ago
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*SIGHHHH* I should have known better than to give my finches a nest to play with, unsupervised.
So
I put my finch Parsley in my smaller cage because he was still recovering from his cat attack, needed to regain stamina n strength before going back to aviary.
And because he needed company I put his ornery brother Foxglove in there with him to return the favor from when he had sprained his leg and needed a recovery space.
And I added their auntie (adoptive) Lupine because she was getting her tail feathers plucked bloody and naked so her bullies (I still cannot figure out WHO because Parsley and a random three of his sisters also have plucked butts) had just started plucking her chest as well.
And because an odd bird out would just continue to be bullied, I added one tail-less sister, Snapdragon, because she's the smartest and least likely to get stressed by me constantly checking on Parsley and Lupine's injuries.
And I gave them a nest and hay to have a constructive activity without too much crowding, so they wouldn't get bored and their tails could grow back.
And this was fine. The kids know they're too closely related to breed and Lupine always rejected their dad and wasn't interested in the boys whatsoever. Their tails have grown back, Parsley is fully recovered, and they were so happily snuggling up in their nest at bedtime. I was planning to return them to aviary this week, maybe swap out some tail-less kids to pinpoint the bully.
IT WAS FINE.
EXCEPT SOMEONE DECIDED THEY MIGHT LAY EGGS ANYWAYS AND NOT TELL ME ABOUT IT
HOW DO I FIND OUT??
I come home after a weekend away and a full day of work, and SNAPDRAGON, my brilliant child, randomly SHRIEKS AND CHASES THE OTHERS AWAY FROM THE NEST LIKE A BAT OUTTA HELL. I grab her to see what's wrong - is she hurt or does she need time out?? NO!!
THERE ARE FIVE EGGS IN THE NEST SHE IS GUARDING. FIVE. THEY ONLY LAY ONE PER DAY. THEY HAVE ALL BEEN HIDING EGGS FROM ME FOR AT LEAST FIVE DAYS.
Ok, ok, I say. This is fine. Maybe Snap (and/or Lupine) decided the nest was too good to waste and she really wanted to Brood™ so she laid some eggs on her own. There's no way they're fertilized. They can sit on them until they're bored so they don't lay more. It'll be fine.
EXCEPT IT WONT.
SINCE THERE ARE SO MANY I DECIDE TO CANDLE THE EGGS TO BE SURE THEYRE EMPTY, AND WHAT DO I FIND OUT???
THEY ARE NOT EMPTY!! One has died early but THREE ARE STILL DEVELOPING! AND THAT'S NOT ALL FOLKS!!
NOT ONLY ARE THEY FERTILE, THEY ARE PACKED FULL!! THE FIRST COULD LITERALLY HATCH AT ANY TIME NOW!!!
I LOOK AT MY BIRDS, CAREFULLY CHOSEN. SOMEONE GOT NASTY AND ALL OF THEM HID THE EVIDENCE FOR AT LEAST 13 DAYS. IT ISN'T SNAP BECAUSE HER BROTHERS DISGUST HER. IT ISN'T PARSLEY BECAUSE HE ONLY SINGS TO GET MY ATTENTION.
SO
THE BOY WHO NEVER SHUTS UP, THE ONE WITH THE VOICE CRACK, FOXGLOVE, SHOOK HIS ASS AT LUPINE AND SHE SAID YES??? TO THE ONE BOY WHO LOOKS LIKE HIS DAD FROM WHOM SHE RUNS??? FOR FIVE EGGS?????
AND SNAP IS GETTING POSSESSIVE OVER THEM??????? WHAT DOES SHE KNOW THAT I DONT?!
Lord help me, 4 birds was fine to begin with and then they had 7 babies, and then 11 birds was enough... I can't just toss these eggs, now. What am I gonna do with 14 birds ;;
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highprettybabyy · 19 days ago
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Pregnancy Problems
pregnant!wanda x servicetop g!p r
summary: wanda experiences some issues during the pregnancy, but you’re always happy to help
Warnings: SMUT! also lotta fluff, morning sickness, swearing, self image issues, body dysmorphia, face sitting (r receiving), lots of praising, petnames, cunnilingus (w receiving), (slight) overstimulation, crying during sex (from how good it feels/overstimulation), fingering (w receiving), creampie/breeding kink, reader has a penis
AN: Wanda and R are married + please be mindful, im not experienced in writing, let alone writing smut lol
word count: 5k
—//—
Wanda was about 2 months along by now, the hellish start of the morning sickness phase. It was 4 in the morning when the little ones made a fuss, Wanda immediately being forced out of the warm cocoon you had created with the sheets to run to the bathroom. She nearly missed the bowl when everything that was in her stomach violently came out.
This was becoming a nightly habit, one that was really fucking with her mentally and physically. Since two weeks ago she's been sleeping horribly. Some mornings were fine, she’d only have a slight stomach ache, and some were worse, like this one, where she would probably stay in the bathroom until high noon.
She had given up on waking you at every slight issue. You were always pleased to help, offering reassurance and comfort as she needed it, but she thought that there was no reason for you both to lose sleep over this. However, that didn’t stop your stubborn ass from finding her on the bathroom floor, softly pulling her hair into a ponytail and slowly running comforting circles on her back while you whispered reassurances and praise.
She ended up having a very long morning, the sun having already come up while she was still emptying her stomach contents into the bowl. You had grabbed her water, massaged her shoulders, cleaned her face with a damp cloth, changed her into new clothes, and asked if she wanted to try eating something. She declined but knew that you would ask her hourly at the minimum, stating that she is growing a whole human inside of her and needs enough energy and calories to do so.
The afternoon rolled around when Wanda started feeling a tad better. You were able to move from the bathroom to the couch, huddled next to each other watching sitcoms, Wanda laid sideways in your lap as you ran a comforting hand wherever you could reach, mostly massaging her scalp and neck. There was a large mixing bowl on the table in front of you, just in case something were to happen, but Wanda had not thrown up in a while by now so hopefully the worst had passed.
“Baby?” You asked, fingers still running through gorgeous auburn locks. “Hmmm” The witch answered, shifting her eyes away from the television to look at you. “Can I make you some tea? And do you feel like trying to eat something now or do we need to wait a little longer?”
Wanda saw the look in your eyes, the one where all your anxieties bubbled to the surface, scared that somehow Wanda would collapse from malnutrition and sleep deprivation or other things. She really, really did not feel like eating something, but you've been knawing at the inside of your cheek for the past 15 minutes and she was getting scared you'd chew a hole through.
"I'd actually love some tea, thank you detka." You perked up as Wanda lifted her head from the comfortable position on your lap so you could get up. You gave her a quick peck on the lips before basically sprinting to the kitchen to make her beloved tea with extra honey.
While the kettle was heating up the water, tea bag and honey already in her favourite mug, you were scavenging the kitchen for possible snacks. You grabbed a big plate to hold all the various items of food. You didn't know what she would be in the mood for, so you settled on half the kitchen. A couple of grapes, half of a banana, some chocolate chips, a dollop of peanut butter, a few popcorn kernels, some crackers, pretzels, blueberries, and of course a single dill pickle.
After everything was done you returned to your darling Wanda on the couch. "What's all this Y/N/N?" Wanda's eyes flew open when she saw the plate. "Just a little snack if you wanted something.. Here's your tea love." Wanda grabbed the mug from you with a smile as you put the plate down in front of her. You weren't going to force her (yet) but this way she would have the option if she wanted to.
You sat down next to her again and kissed her temple, arm wrapped snug around your wife as she laid her head on your shoulder. Wanda pretended to not have noticed your internal exclamation of joy when she silently sipped her tea and ate a single cracker.
-
Wanda was crying again as she tried on her sweatpants, which would not fit anymore. She was 5 months pregnant now with your beautiful twin boys and her hormones were going absolutely haywire. One second she was so happy and radiant, the next furious and bawling her eyes out.
"Y/N they won't fit anymore, I've become a giant cow, how could you ever love me like this??" She sobbed in front of the mirror. Upon hearing her words you quickly sprinted to her. "Baby no, don't say that you are beautiful just the way you are. You are carrying our babies Wanda, that's no simple job, your body is just adjusting to the change that's all.." You were really hoping you said the right thing, you didn't want to upset her further, but when she suddenly looked at you with anger in her eyes, you flinched away momentarily.
She pointed her finger at you, poking your chest. "Youuu. You did this to me! With your stupid charming face, and those stupid beautiful fucking eyes, and your stupid caring personality!" You did not know whether to be scared or happy. She was complimenting you but she was also angry. "I'm sorry Wanda"
"God, this is exactly what I mean, you absolute doofus!" Wanda was still angry, having crossed her arms and puffing out whilst she stood there almost half naked in front of you. But those y/e/c eyes just looked at her with guilt and concern.
"You are so fucking frustrating sometimes Y/N" She muttered as she slammed her lips against yours, devouring you. You immediately returned the gesture, grabbing her waist to pull her closer to you, then fully wrapping your arms around the shorter woman, enveloping her completely in your embrace. You were really possessive of her lately, not that you'd ever show it besides small gestures like this, but Wanda was enjoying every second of it.
Wanda moaned into your mouth and every passing second you could feel your pants getting tighter and tighter as she tried grinding against you. "Please, please Y/N." She begged between kisses, overwhelmed with a sudden desperation for you. "Pleaaaseeeehh" She whined out. "What baby love, tell me what you want gorgeous." You breathed out, starting to attack her neck with your lips. "Anything, give me anything and everything, pleaseee Y/N - please"
Your eyes darkened upon hearing her words, "Yeah, you'd let me do anything and everything?" Wanda grabbed your face, nodding while kissing you, "Please"
You walked backwards until you felt the back of your bed, falling down and (carefully) bringing Wanda down with you, your lips never leaving her. Wanda straddled you, bringing her hips down to grind down on the enormous tent in your pants, which caused you to let out a strangled moan. "You wanna ride me baby, how bout you ride my face first?"
Wanda slowed down at that, "No, I'd crush you." You looked at her as sternly as you could (which wasn't all that intimidating tbh) "If you really don't want to, that's ok, but if you're only hesitant because you think I'd suffer? Honey, I could never suffer between your legs, that would probably be the most ideal way to go, I'd already be in heaven -" Wanda rolled her eyes and shoved her tongue in your mouth to shut you up. "Fine." She huffed. "But tell me if you can't handle it anymore."
You smirked, but bit your tongue and simply nodded as an answer, stroking her sides and upper thighs to work her back up again, which worked amazingly as Wanda desperately moaned in your mouth. You laid down and gently pushed her up towards your face until you were looking at her black panties. You decided it would be too tedious to pull them down now, so you pushed them to the side as you bewondered the sight above you.
You softly moaned as you spread her open, seeing the arousal leak out and everywhere, running your thumb every so lightly across her clit. "Oh baby you don't even know how gorgeous you are, just look at this oh my g-" Too impatient to complete your sentence you simultaneously lifted your head while pulling Wanda down harshly, your head falling back on the bed as you forced Wanda all the way down on your face.
"Aaah- ah - ah- oh! oooh" Wanda was a sputtering, moaning mess, your tongue ravaging her completely, running through her folds, inner thighs, everywhere you could reach. Wanda was having a hard time keeping her stability, legs jerking around your head, only still upright by strong arms locking her into position. Even though she was pretty sure you hadn't taken a breath since the start of your assault, Wanda felt like you were suffocating her with how unrelenting you were. She could almost let out a sob, until you finally took a breath. Wanda gasped and moved her hands to her breasts, tugging at the hardened nips.
You took a deep breath "God Wands.. You taste so sweet baby. So good baby, only for me." You groaned out. You held her up a bit as you dragged your thumb through her folds, spreading them lightly. "Look at this perfect pretty pussy, hmm?" Wanda couldn't stop herself from moaning at your words, almost screaming when you slipped your middle finger in her, falling forward on the bed, catching herself on her hands.
You quickly added a second digit after you felt how hard she was clenching around you. Wanda was almost crying at the sensations. You were moving your fingers rapidly now, sloshing sounds resonating through the room, meanwhile softly biting at her thighs, your free hand reaching up to tug at her nipple. Wanda let out a sob. "Are you gonna be a good girl and cum for me gorgeous?"
She nodded, high whines leaving her throat. The tight knot in her lower belly ready to snap at any moment. You quickly placed your thumb on her clit and rubbed tight circles. "Then cum for me princess." Wanda white-knuckled the sheets as she let out a silent scream, legs jerking in tandem from the cum pulsing out of her pussy. She was breathing heavily as she rode out her orgasm, your fingers moving lightly to prolong the feeling.
As Wanda began calming down, you pulled your fingers out and sucked them clean of her juices. Before she could even protest, you pulled her back down again to reseat her on your mouth, immediately starting an unrelenting assault on her sensitive clit. She cried, involuntarily trying to get away, but your grip was far too strong, a tear slipping from her eye at the overstimulation. "Sorry baby, you're so messy, I gotta clean you up."
She quickly passed the threshold of her second orgasm of the evening, you moving from between her legs to lay beside her. You put your left arm around her, pulling her close into you as you ran your other hand over her t-shirt-clad back, trying to calm her down further. "Baby you did so good, so so well for me." Wanda shuddered a bit, placing kisses on your shoulder and upper jaw to assure you that she's ok."
After a while her breathing calmed and she tries to shuffle closer, but her bump gets in the way. So she huffs and rolls over whilst holding your arm to pull it around her. You immediately catch onto her antics, fulfilling her wish and squeezing her tightly. She shuffles closer to you, hips wiggling backwards, as they brush against something hard.
You let out a soft groan and she immediately turned her head, seemingly forgotten that you didn't cum. Your eyes met and you grabbed her jaw to kiss her deeply, both eventually losing your breath. "You didn't cum Y/N?" She breathed out. You chuckled and nuzzled her nose slightly with yours, "I didn't need to, the sight of your pretty pussy rubbing on my tongue was plenty of satisfaction", you finished with a peck on her lips. Like magic, Wanda was furiously turned on again. Eyes hazing over while her lips formed into a pout.
"Please fuck me, Y/N? I need it." You let out a low breath, eyes darkening at her words. "God Wands" You pulled her underwear down to her knees, content leaving it there at the moment, basically locking them in place. The tightness in your pants was almost cutting off circulation, pulling your pants and underwear down slightly to finally free yourself from the fabric prison. You grabbed your cock, giving it some attention and prepping yourself with precum.
"You have no idea what you do to me." You dragged your tip through her soaking folds, lubing your cock with her cum, before entering her. She gasped and reached her hand backwards to entangle in your hair. You groaned, breathing heavily as you resisted from pounding into her, slightly concerned for the babies. She scratched at your scalp lightly to signal that you could move.
You pulled your hips back, before thrusting them forward again, repeating the motion and grunting at each movement. Wanda was moaning too, letting out high wines occasionally, pulling at the roots of your hair. Your little gasps of air in her ear were really turning her on and the feeling of your large cock filling her up was heavenly. You wrapped around her further and reached your hands around to grab at her chest, playing with Wanda’s nipples as you started fucking into your wife faster.
"I'm yours." You grunted. "Say it." Wanda was slightly confused but complied nonetheless "You're mine." "That's right, I'm yours." You went faster and faster, the tight knot in Wanda's stomach tightening rapidly. "Mine." Wanda gasped out. "My pretty wife." You raked your nails lightly across her belly, goosebumps appearing all over her body, before tugging at one of her nipples suddenly. "Ah!"
"Say it. You're my pretty wife." She was almost turning incoherent from how good you were fucking her. "Yo-r prtty wife" You kissed her neck. "You're gorgeous." "I'm gorg-us" You bit at the junction of her neck and shoulder "You're kind." "I'm kind." You trailed your hand down, rubbing her lower belly. "You're compassionate." "'m compass-nate" Before finally settling on her clit, rubbing tight circles again. "You're perfect." "I-I- ah 'm perfECT" she screamed out as she came again, cum creaming around your cock, clenching you so tight that you also came - deep inside of her.
You groaned out " - yeah you are." Slowly fucking your cum back inside of her. You breathed in deeply, inhaling the scent of her conditioner and perfume. Hands moving back up to massage at her ribs. "One more, you got one more for me. You're doing so good gorgeous, one more." You said, moving her into a doggy style position, legs spread wide as she accompanied her pregnant belly in this position.
You were entranced at the sight, cum slowly dripping out of her puffy cunt, hole still pulsating from her last orgasm. "So so pretty for me." You lined yourself up again and thrusted in straightaway, fucking her at an impossible pace. Wanda couldn't hold herself up anymore, her face lying on the bed with her arms crossed in front of her as you pounded into her.
"My pretty, gorgeous, kind, compassionate wife." You lifted your knee up to fuck into her deeper. "So perfect for me yeah" Wanda was left an incoherent blabbering mess, tears stained her cheeks out of overstimulation as you thrusted into her. Yet again she felt the familiar coil tightening, snapping when you told her that you loved her. "I love you Wanda, - I love you, love you, god"
You came deep inside of her again, basically putting another baby in her. She felt so, so full, your cock still inside of her, your cum filling her to the brim, slowly moving back and forth to prolong her orgasm. Eventually you pulled out of her slowly and flipped her on her back. Wanda was sure that your hunger would have been finished by now, but the way your gaze fixated on the cum slowly leaking out of her pussy told her enough.
You looked into her gorgeous green eyes and kissed her softly. "Can I clean you up, baby?" You both knew it was a question whether Wanda could handle another orgasm without passing out, you 'cleaning her up' always ended like that, your tongue as deep as you could in Wanda, listening to her pretty breaths and moans. You were completely insatiable when it came to her. Wanda pulled your face close to hers kissing you while nodding. "Just be gentle now ok? I don't think I can walk again after how you fucked me."
You smiled and nodded, kissing everywhere you could as you started descending towards her pussy. You especially took time in kissing her stretch marks, thankful for the torture her body went through because of pregnancy.
You wrapped your arms around her thighs again, locking her in place, as you delicately started cleaning her up. You licked all the arousal off of her thighs, around her lips, with a featherlight touch. She gasped when you ran your tongue between her folds, dipping down slightly to lick up all the cum, before moving up again and stopping just before her clit. You skilfully cleaned her up, leaving nothing but your saliva behind. Eventually you ever so lightly started including her clit in the process.
Wanda felt like she was floating. She was on a very tall rollercoaster and the cart was slowly moving up. She was in one of those dreams where you know you're about to fall if you dreamt on for a few more seconds.
It all caught her by surprise. Flattening your tongue and putting down just a tad more pressure. She exploded. The cart dropped off the cliff. She was convulsing beyond her understanding, as she laid there, taking anything and everything you gave her. Her legs were fully shaking, entire body trembling in aftershocks of the holy experience you just gave her. She started seeing spots and then promptly passed out.
-
When she awoke a while later, she was already clad in soft pyjamas, pressed tightly against your chest as you held her close, a water bottle, reeses peanut butter cup, and a sliced pear on the nightstand in front of her. You were nuzzling your nose against her hair, breathing in the coconut and distinct smell of Wanda, arms around her body, one of them holding your babies. She moved her hand to hold yours, signalling that she was awake.
"Hi baby, how are you feeling?" You asked her. "Tired." She let out with a chuckle. "Was I too rough with you? Are the babies ok?" Wanda rolled her eyes lightly, you asked this every time, granted this time was just a tad bit more unhinged, but still. "You were perfect." She muttered out, feeling you smile against the back of her head as you pulled her just a bit tighter to you.
"I love you Wands."
"I love you too Y/N."
-
It was officially the stage where you were a panicked mess and Wanda felt the need to nest, reorganising the entire house 3 times over while you were stressed out in the corner watching her because you weren’t allowed to help. Occasionally you managed to convince the stubborn woman to let you take out the garbage, or lift the heavy stuff, but most of the time you were shut down and told to get out of her way.
She was working in the nursery now, having went through every single room in the house already, when she decided that some new accessories were needed, like a table lamp and another rug. You were in your office with the door open, fingers tapping away at the keyboard as you answered a few mails, when your gorgeous wife appeared in the doorway.
“Hi baby, how’s the nursery coming along?” You asked as you got up to greet Wanda with a hug and kiss. “I’m on track, was thinking about getting a lamp and another rug.” “Hmm, another rug?” You questioned, there were already 2 in the room, one underneath each bassinet. “Yeah, one for underneath the rocking chair, next to the bookcase? It would tie it all together, I’m sure, however I’m still on the fence about the colour..”
“How about a forest green? It would match with the other rugs and tie the theme together?” You and Wanda decided on a forest theme for the nursery, you picked out a lovely wallpaper that resembled trees, the colours in the room ranged from green to brown to a golden orange. Hand-carved wooden animals were presented on the shelves that hung beside the large oak dresser, beautiful gifts from Yelena and Natasha that they gifted you when they found out you were expecting. They carved them from the wood from the tree where you and Wanda often went on dates underneath when you still lived at the compound. You cried when they explained it to you. And later when you and Wanda placed them on the shelves, you were sure that they would be the best godmothers to your sons.
“But we already have so much green? I’m not sure..” Wanda dug herself in the crook of your neck and nuzzled the skin there. You kissed the side of her head and ran your hands over her tense back. “Then how about you get some inspiration from the store? You could walk around and see what you think would fit best? Take some pictures from the nursery so you can really visualise it better?” Wanda sighed and agreed, holding you tighter. “Alright, I’m going to the store then really quickly.”
“Can I join you?” You asked while you pulled back a bit. “Actually I wanted to ask you if you could secure the dresser to the wall more? I don’t think just 2 bolts for such a large dresser is safe, what if one of the little ones pushes it over?”
You smiled “Sure honey, anything else?” Wanda smiled up at you cheekily before playing with the drawstrings of your hoodie “Could you vacuum upstairs? If the dresser doesn’t take too long? Please?”
“Of course baby. I’ll try to get to that as well.” You smiled, running your thumbs over her cheeks. “Anything else?” Wanda nodded. “A kiss.” You laughed and pulled her in, fulfilling her wish.
“Alright, I’ll be back in an hour or two, hopefully the traffic isn’t too bad.” Wanda patted your chest while leaving your warm embrace. “Honey wait-!” You jogged after her, “Here.” giving her your wallet.
Wanda rolled her eyes playfully, having long lost this battle. You always insisted you paid for everything, only occasionally letting her when you forgot your wallet (Wanda would hide it before going out). You wanted her to feel secure and egotistically you wanted to be the financial provider. You wanted Wanda to have everything her heart and mind desired without her having to worry about her savings. Plus, the company you ran was really profitable, which allowed you to spend your earnings on your amazing wife who 100% deserves to be spoiled.
She took your wallet, pulling out your debit card. Wanda already had your credit card, but the debit card was designated for groceries and other smaller things. You keep forgetting to get a second one, but after all these years you hadn’t come across a good enough reason to make the trip to the bank, having gotten used to sharing the one.
Wanda leaned up to kiss you as a thanks, before you told her to drive safe and keep you updated while she was gone.
Securing the dresser took you less than 15 minutes, being handy and having a stud finder came in clutch. Vacuuming also didn’t take that long, Wanda having vacuumed that morning while she decided which room to tackle next. You decided that after such a long day a nice romantic dinner and a hot bubble bath would be excellent for your hard working wife.
You smiled, heading to the kitchen first. You rummaged through the fridge, freezer, cupboards, and pantry, letting the ingredients inspire you. An hour later, the nadivka was in the oven and the oxtail stew was simmering on the stove.
You cleaned up the kitchen, tidied up where else you could, decided to set up a little foot massage area at the couch. You were almost sure every chore in the house had been done before you put on FRIENDS and laid down on the couch. Two and a half hours had quickly gone by, before you heard the gravel crackle on the driveway, signalling you that your wife was home. You sprinted to the door to open it. A teary eyed and sleepy pregnant Wanda stood before you.
“Oh bubs, what’s wrong?” You stepped aside to let her in. “They didn’t have the right carpet, or lamp, and traffic sucks, and my feet hurt.” She put down her purse and reached to hug you, which you immediately reciprocated. “Oh I’m sorry, we could look online to see if you like anything?” “Wanda hummed into your chest before inhaling deeply. “Omg detka what’s that smell?” She pushed against your chest lightly, her nose taking her to the origin of the smell. “Malysh… Is that oxtail?? And nadivka?!” She could almost jump from excitement as you nodded, explaining the process. She interrupted you with a kiss. “You cannot believe how much I needed something like this Y/N/N”
You smiled. “I’m glad it made you happy, however the oxtail still needs half an hour, so how about we relax on the couch a bit?” Wanda grinned and grabbed your hand, looking back at you questioningly as she saw the lotion, towel and face mask. You didn’t say anything and just positioned her down on the couch. You lifted her feet, sat down, put the towel over your lap and then gently laid Wanda’s feet on your towel clad thighs.
You grabbed the lotion, before finally looking at your wife to see her looking back at you with all the love in the world. “I love you so much Y/N, but you know you don’t have to do all this for me, right?” You raised your eyebrow, “I know.. but I want to?” You lathered your hands, warming them up before gently massaging her feet.
“It’s just, you do so much. My friends from book club think I’m lying every time I tell them about you.” She laughed while explaining. “I mean, you still do more Wands. You’re creating 2 tiny humans inside of you, from basically nothing. Two little greedy and tiring babies, who take up space without asking and drain you from energy and nutrients. Literally the least I can do is help you and make you the tiniest bit more comfortable.” You explained softly, proceeding to rub out the knots in her feet and calves.
“How did I get so lucky Malyshka?”
“I ask myself that same question every time I look into your eyes, my love.”
-
The delivery was rough. Contractions started at 1 am, and she wasn’t fully dilated until 10 am the next day. You were by her side the entire time doing whatever you could to help. But eventually, Wanda managed to birth the two beautiful baby boys that have been torturing Wanda for the past 9 months.
The entire hospital stay was exhausting, people coming to visit, check-ups from nurses and doctors, the twins themselves.. Everyone was sweet, but you both could use some rest, so when you got home with two car seats in hand, you both took a deep breath in.
They were both sleeping, so you decided to let them as you carefully carried them upstairs, Wanda following with the monitor in hand. She plugged it in, positioned it, then took the receiver with her to the bedroom.
Wanda was exhausted and instantly fell asleep as her head hit the pillow. You followed her in and sat beside her, gently taking the receiver from her hand, stroking a strand of hair behind her ear and kissing her forehead before whispering “Thank you my love.” You took off her shoes and closed the blinds. You then quietly left the room and shut the door.
You unloaded the car, cleaned where you could, put gifts on the table to sort through when Wanda was awake, and changed the twins when they started fussing, taking them downstairs as they fully woke up. Wanda had pumped a lot in the hospital, so you took one of the evening packs to feed to Tommy and Billy.
The twins were fed, burped, and put back to bed by the time Wanda awoke from her 7 hour nap, looking to find you. She headed downstairs, following the soft glow from the candles you had lit after cleaning. You were on the couch feet propped under you, laptop open on the coffee table with a take-away restaurant list open, reading a parenting book while the baby monitor sat beside you on the couch.
Soft arms wrapped around you as Wanda placed a deep lingering kiss on your cheek, softly pecking a few times for good measure. Your voice was gravelly, exhaustion could clearly be heard, “I was thinking we’d order for dinner? If that’s alright with you? You can choose obviously.” Wanda nodded as she moved to lay beside you, picking up the monitor to place it next to the laptop. You placed a bookmark between the pages and moved it to the table, wrapping your arms around your wife as she laid her head on your chest.
“How about sushi?”
—//—
AN: hi pretty reader! hope you enjoyed it :)
<3
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slxtarchive · 4 months ago
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𝐢𝐧 𝐰𝐡𝐢𝐜𝐡 … you’ve never been eaten out and matt’s never tried…so firsts all around
you and matt had been hanging out in your room for the past hour. you had just gotten home and he decided to stay over for a bit.
you were watching a show that had a tiny sex scene in it.
“it cannot be that good.” your jaw was dropped as the actress was screaming.
matt laughed at your comment. “that guys ego is definitely high if he’s getting a reaction like that.
“yeah, like she’s practically screaming and shouting. although, who am i to judge. i wouldn’t know.” you shrugged. “but i mean if she’s screaming that loud at being eaten out, imagine how good the sex is.”
unfortunately that comment you made had matt fantasizing about how it would be to eat a girl out and it was odd because he saw you as the girl.
he was fidgeting with his shorts as he felt himself harden at his thoughts. he decided to try to ignore it until you asked him an interesting question.
“had a girl ever screamed like that when you had given her head? i’m curious.” you popped a popcorn in your mouth.
he hesitated. “u-uhh, i’ve never really…” he didn’t finish his sentence. you gulped.
“really?” you asked in shock. “sorry, i just…i’d just thought that you have.”
“no..have you ever..you know..” he didn’t want to say anything else.
“ever…” you were waiting for him to ask.
“been eaten out.” he blurted. his boner making things worse.
“oh! um no i haven’t. i’ve like imagined it but nope, never happened to me.” the movie was the least of both of your worries now that you were both thinking of the same topic.
matt couldn’t help but imagine how you’d be in that situation. someone’s head in between your thighs — preferably his head.
“all quiet now.. have i made things awkward.” you pretended to wince.
“oh, no sorry i was just thinking… i kinda wanna know how to. like how to eat a girl out, it’d be good to have some experience i guess.” he confessed.
“uh huh…” you nodded slowly. “maybe…you can practice? on me.”
his eyes widened at your proposal. “you don’t think it would be a little weird?”
“no, im just gonna tell you what feels good and then we’ll both get what we want! given you make me cum, duh.” you laughed.
keep it cool. you thought.
“are you sure?” matt asked again, not wanting for this to be something you’d regret in the near future.
you nodded and that’s how you got to the position in which you were leaned against the headboard waiting for matt to take your underwear off.
“go ahead.” you reassured him as he toyed with your waistband.
“okay.” he whispered pulling your panties down slowly.
the suspense of the situation had you aroused. you were excited but at the same time nervous. you kept telling yourself, he’s your best friend, it’s okay. he won’t do anything you’re uncomfortable with.
your pussy and matt were face to face. he gulped a little intimated because he wanted to be good at it.
“sooo i just, go right in?” he asked pursing his lips.
“i guess so… maybe idk, foreplay? or wait is this considered foreplay?” you asked confused.
“i don’t- im not sure.” he said, unable to tear his eyes away from your center.
“okay, so maybe like use your fingers first?” you knew it was seconds away from being awkward.
as you were about to just say forget it you felt matt’s finger ghost over your leaky hole. he gathered some of your arousal and lathered it over your clit. he then continued to stimulate your clit. your legs bucked up at the sensation.
“am i doing okay?” he whispered, the only thing illuminating his face was the sunset lamp in the corner of your room.
“y-yeah.” you moaned slightly, as he continued to stimulate you. you looked down at him, his fluffy hair and his beautiful eyes. the sight alone had you wanting to just-
your thoughts couldn’t even complete because you felt matt’s hot tongue on you. you let out a deep breath as you leaned back and closed your eyes at the pleasure.
his tongue flicked over your clit as he looked up at you for reassurance that he was making you feel good. while matt was taking his time, his thoughts were elsewhere enjoying the way you tasted. in seconds he was devouring you, addicted to the way you tasted.
he licked a long stripe over your center pulling your thighs toward him. he sucked on your puffy clit. “r-right there. fuck—” your eyes tightly shut.
“you taste so fucking good…” matt muttered against you. he was consuming you. it was as if he lost all control in himself. he couldn’t get enough. “tell me how good i’m doing.”
you nodded quickly. “you’re doing s-so good.” you threaded your hands through his brunette hair. yes you had fantasized about this situation — not with matt specifically but this situation for sure.
matt’s ego boosted as a spurt of whimpers escaped you as he entered his middle finger in you. he pumped it in and out whilst continuing his previous work on your clit. he had been doing so good, you were on the verge of cumming.
matt could tell too — by the way your thighs were starting to close around his head and shake. he didn’t know how he had lived without the taste of you on his tongue. he didn’t ever want to stop. he wanted to do this everyday of his life.
you tried to blurt out the words but you struggled; sensitive to how fast he was flicking your clit. he looked up to see your struggle and grinned against you.
“go on, cum on my tongue. i wanna taste it.” he begged. matt needed to taste you. he enjoyed seeing you writhing underneath him. the way you were struggling to grapple onto reality.
you nodded finally feeling your body seize up as your orgasm washed over you like a big wave. you were tugging on matt’s hair trying to get him away from your sensitive pussy but your orgasm made him want to push you further.
you had begun to feel so sensitive you tried to push his head away as much as you could while whining. “f-fuck — sensitive matt.” you begged and he finally pulled away.
your chest was heaving up and down. you had started to slow your breathing and opened your eyes. matt with your shiny substance drooled and covering his mouth and chin. he had a smug grin on his face symbolizing he was definitely pleased with himself.
“please tell me you’ll let me do that again.” he licked his lips.
you took another deep breath and combed through his hair with your hand. “how could i not?”
© slxtarchive
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giamee · 6 months ago
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𝐇𝐎𝐖 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐘 𝐇𝐄𝐋𝐏 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐃𝐔𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐄𝐗𝐀𝐌 𝐒𝐄𝐀𝐒𝐎𝐍!
... aka something super self indulgent because i'm going insane right now
༊*·˚ featuring ➻ the hsr men
༊*·˚ gia's notes ➻ this is probably gonna get posted way after exam season is over but here it is!!! my coping mechanism!!! i have 3 exams in 8 days im gonna explode bro. and before that i had a THREE HOUR STATISTICS EXAM 😀😀
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ᯓ ᡣ𐭩 MAKES SURE THAT YOU SLEEP COMFORTABLY.
you've been running yourself into the ground recently with revision- yes, it's important and you need to study to get good grades, as he is more than aware of due to your multiple stressed rants to him when he suggests that you take a break.
it doesn't bother him, not really. he knows that you're beyond stressed right now and don't mean to be so snappy. he just wants to make sure that you're still taking care of yourself despite everything.
he's in your dorm room, not really making much noise, scrolling through reals with his phone on mute, just present to keep an eye on you and get you to take a break whenever it's been a little too long since you've moved from your desk.
it's some time where it's debatable whether it's very late or very early- both of your sleep schedules are fucked- and there comes a little thunk from your desk that interrupts the otherwise silent room.
your boyfriend glances up, smiling in triumph as he sees that you've finally succumbed to the nap that he's been trying to convince you to take for the past... 36 hours? something like that.
and now that your body has finally given in to exhaustion, he springs to action.
you'd been studying for days, you'd done more than enough for your upcoming exam, and a solid few hours of uninterrupted sleep is exactly what you need right now.
he slips off of your bed, his movements quiet and calculated as he sidles up next to you. your glasses are smushed against your face, and he gingerly removes them as gracefully as he can. you stir a little as he does so, and he grimaces, waiting for you to settle again.
it looked like you would wake up if he carried you to your bed- looks like he'll have to improvise.
he snags the fuzzy blanket folded neatly at the foot of your bed, wrapping it around your sleeping form still sat at your desk as best as he can. he then takes one of your smaller pillows, coaxing it between you and the solid wood of your desk as best as he can before admiring his handiwork.
hopefully, you wouldn't wake up with a stiff neck.
and finally, as a cherry on top, he places a kiss to your squished cheek and sits back down to let you take a well-deserved nap.
˚୨୧⋆。˚ ⋆ BLADE, gallagher, BOOTHILL ++ your faves!
ᯓ ᡣ𐭩 IS YOUR PERSONAL ASSISTANT WHILE YOU'RE STRESSING.
you don't have to lift a single finger when he's around. luckily for you, his exams finished a lot earlier this term than yours did, leaving him ample time to help you as much as he is capable of.
and what an attentive boyfriend he is! amidst all the stress, you can't help but swoon for him all over again because of how attentive he's being towards you. he just wants you to help you study and not worry about anything else!
if you're hungry, he'll have a plate of food ready for you before the request has even left your mouth. your back or neck is aching due to being hunched over? his strong hands are rubbing circles into the muscle, making you sigh contentedly as the stiffness melts away.
he's honestly like an angel in your time of need.
you feel guilty about how one-sided this all is, but he merely smiles, giving you a quick kiss and assuring you that he understands and just wants you to do well. you almost cried because of how sweet he was being.
once these exams are over, you're definitely going to make it up to him.
˚୨୧⋆。˚ ⋆ GEPARD, jing yuan, sunday ++ your faves!
ᯓ ᡣ𐭩 ACTS AS YOUR TEMPORARY STUDY PARTNER.
despite not doing your degree, he's clever, and he knows enough without googling to help you out when you revise.
he's an advocate for the "teach someone about a subject until they understand it as well as you do" and luckily for you, he's all ears... and even if he does get some things a little quicker than your fried brain can explain, he still bites his tongue and plays a little dumb to probe you further with questions to test your understanding.
it'll help in the exam.
you've decided that this is way better than being cramped in a booth in the library- you have the freedom to wave your arms around and pace the room, to fully illustrate your thoughts and knowledge as he flips through the colourful flashcards that you made, reading the answers on the back of each of them, grilling you on the questions like a tiger mum.
he'll be damned if you don't get an A.
˚୨୧⋆。˚ ⋆ dan heng, DR RATIO, welt ++ your faves!
ᯓ ᡣ𐭩 DEFUSES YOU WHENEVER YOU'RE GETTING TOO STRESSED.
in the days leading up to your exams, it was best to describe your stomach as a pit of nerves. it was honestly distracting you from revising, all the pent up anxiety that churned within you until you were on the verge of a meltdown.
and while you may be too stressed to realise all of this and do something about it, your boyfriend's watchful eye realises this.
and so he does what he does best- he makes you feel better.
he pulls your body to rest against his where he lies in your bed, his large hand drawing comforting circles up and down your spine- and after a few minutes he can feel you melt into him, your body finally releasing the pent up stress that it's been holding for too long.
"it's ok to take a break, honey."
you sigh into him, and he hugs you tighter.
"c'mon, let's go outside for a few minutes. it'll help you feel a lot better."
you shake your head.
"you wanna just stay here for a bit?"
he feels you nod against his chest.
"ok, then let's do that."
˚୨୧⋆。˚ ⋆ SAMPO, luocha, AVENTURINE ++ your faves!
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IF YOU LIKED THIS, TRY ... do you want somebody like i want somebody?
the sweet and caring nature of the hsr men is also shown through them being your roommate <3
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dietcokegirly12 · 29 days ago
Text
“Call Me”
featuring satoru gojo and suguru geto ♰.𖥔 ݁ ˖🔪 
── ⋆˙⟡⋅☏. ₊˚ ☎︎⋆˙⟡⋅ ── ⋆˙⟡⋅☏. ₊˚ ☎︎⋆˙⟡⋅ ── ⋆˙
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art credit: @aransmind (plsss check them out their art is so.. (っ´ω`c)♡
── ⋆˙⟡⋅☏. ₊˚ ☎︎⋆˙⟡⋅ ── ⋆˙⟡⋅☏. ₊˚ ☎︎⋆˙⟡⋅ ── ⋆˙
I needed to write a fanfic w these fanarts before halloween is over, so pls take this jjk oneshot ik its not my usual content but (♡﹃♡)
tags: squirting, overstim, knifeplay, threesome, oral (fem!recieving), masturbation, teasing, spitting, edging, degrading, cock piercing, unprotected sex, double penetration, creampie, etc etc
word count: 2.7k of straight filth
100 FOLLOWER SPECIAL!!! i love and appreciate every single one of u bakas, and im so grateful you guys enjoy my writing you all mean the world to me :3
⋆˙⟡⋅☠︎︎☏𓌪₊˚⁺——— ⋆˙⟡⋅☠︎︎☏𓌪₊˚⁺ ——— ⋆˙⟡⋅☠︎︎☏𓌪₊
It was Halloween night, and you had been sprawled across the couch, idly watching Halloweentown, and going back and forth to the door to give out candies to trick-or-treaters when you heard it.
Riiing! Riiing!
Your phone lit up with an incoming call from an unknown number, which was unusual at this time. Confused, you press accept, holding it up to your ear.
"You hang up, and you die darling."
Rather than being frightened of the threat however, you laugh.
"Suguru, I know it's you."
Your two best friends, Satoru and Suguru, were always doing dumb shit like this, pranking you at any given opportunity, and you knew that this time was surely no different.
In an act of defiance, and maybe just to see what would happen, you brush off his warning and hang up, the dial tone signifying the end of the call.
The second you do however, you hear two ominous knocks ring out through the stillness of the night.
Startled, your head turns toward the door, feeling a hint of fear and.. something else, for the first but certainly not the last time that night.
Standing up, you hesitantly walk over to open the door, unsure what awaited you.
It swings open to reveal a Satoru dressed in a complete Ghostface costume, mask and everything, holding a knife in one hand.
You gasp softly as he begins to stalk toward you, placing his hands on either side of your hips and pushing you back onto the couch you were just on.
Your phone begins ringing again, and he simply stares at you, breathing softly as you reach for it, picking it up a little shakily.
"Hello?"
"What did I say doll?"
Your breathing slightly picks up as you listen, Satoru standing motionless before you.
"Now, since you decided to disobey me, our little friend over here is going to have to do something about that, hm?"
You gasp as in one fluid motion, Satoru has you pinned, the heat of his body pressed firmly against yours making your heart rate increase.
The hand that's holding the prop knife lifts to brush against your cheek, and it's then that you realize it's real, the cool tip of the metal making you shiver as he lightly draws it down your jaw.
He keeps going, past your neck and between the valley of your breasts, until it's grazing just in between your thighs, where the wetness of your arousal is rapidly pooling.
You bite back a whine as he ever so slightly brushes the very tip of the knife up and down the seam of your panties, having only put on a baggy t-shirt prior to this, expecting a cozy night in.
It's dangerous, and you know with one wrong movement, the knife could nick the most sensitive part of you, but it just felt so good.
With skilled fingers, Satoru's hand holding the knife comes to the strap of your lacy black panties, gently tugging it down using only the tip, and dragging it off your body to reveal your glistening pussy.
His head tilts, the hollow black eyes and stretched mouth of his mask seeming to stare at you tauntingly.
"Touch yourself." Geto's heated voice over the phone demands, and you inhale sharply as Satoru draws back expectantly.
Embarrassment flushes your cheeks at the prospect of being intimate with yourself in front of your two best friends, but that quickly fades when Satoru's knife warningly grazes your thigh, urging you to hurry.
You bite your lip nervously, reaching one hand in between your thighs to circle your sopping wet cunt, your fingers gliding easily across your slickness.
You hear Satoru inhale, and spurred on, you continue, adding a finger into your entrance and beginning to slowly pump it in and out, biting back a moan.
The obscene sounds of your cunt squelching become the only sound in the room, and your back arches as you lose yourself in the pleasure, eyes fluttering shut and forgetting about the fact that both Satoru and Suguru were still very much there.
As your pace increases, and you add a finger to rub your clit in unison, you can feel yourself getting closer, whimpering softly as your stomach tightens and coils. You spread your legs wider, orgasm so close you can practically taste it as you prepare for the whiteness of pleasure to overwhelm you and explode behind your eyelids and... it stops.
Your eyes fly open as Satoru's muscular arms pin your wrists together and hold them firmly over your head, leaving your cunt to throb desperately from the loss.
"You don't get to come yet, pretty." Geto's voice.
"Not with how rudely you hung up on us earlier."
You whine softly in protest, trying to arch your hips up but Satoru is quick to stop you, pinning your body to the couch.
"Please I-I'm sorry, I thought it was a prank!"
You break off into a sudden moan as Satoru's fingers come to cup your dripping pussy, long fingers spreading across you.
His other hand raises to lift the Ghostface mask off his head, revealing messy white hair sticking up in all directions, and hazy blue eyes wild and frantic-looking. "Fuck.. need to.."
Before you can even react, he drags you toward him, and buries his face between your thighs, inhaling deeply as his tongue instantly flicks out to taste you.
"Here's what's going to happen, doll. If you can manage to hold off, and not come within a certain period of time, we'll reward you. If you do come, well..." His voice breaks off, and you can practically hear the smirk on his face.
You open your mouth to respond but only small whines and moans manage to come out as Satoru settles into a more comfortable position, busying himself between your legs as his nose bumps your clit.
"Fuck!" Not wanting to anger Suguru more than you already have, you grab a fistful of Satoru's snowy white locks intending to pull him off of you, but your body betrays you and you end up only pulling him closer until his whole face is pressed right against your throbbing pussy.
You knew at this rate you weren't going to last, especially with how close you already were from earlier, and desperately, your hips twitch upward, soft pleas and moans for him to slow down proving fruitless.
He begins kitten-licking your cunt gently, and your legs tighten slightly around his head as you focus on something, anything other than the man between your spread thighs, trying your best to hold off as long as you can.
"How's that feel?" The deep purr of Suguru's voice snaps you out of your haze as you remember you're still on the phone with him, and you glance over quickly, flushed.
"Ah i-it.."
Ever eager for your attention, Satoru takes your sensitive clit into his mouth and sucks, and it's all over.
Your thighs clamp around his head tightly, and you feel him groan as you come hard, drenching his face in your sweet slick, eyes rolling back in your head, slutty moans of his name spilling out of you as white-hot pleasure consumes you.
Just then, the creak of the door opening cuts into your haze, and with a jolt, you see Suguru dressed in a similar get-up, his mask tilted up on his head to reveal the glinting piercings on his smirking lips, phone in hand.
"Well, well, well."
He shuts the door with his foot, coming over to the couch you're splayed across to coo at you softly, one large hand coming to slip under your shirt, and squeeze your breast firmly, causing you to whimper in response.
Satoru's still lapping up the remnants of your essence, lifting his head to gaze at you almost adoringly. "She's s' sweet, 'sugu."
He chuckles in response. "I bet she is. Though she still is a disobedient little whore, and one who can't seem to learn her lesson, at that."
Your breathing is shallow as your eyes flick between the two, unsure of what's going to happen next now that you hadn't listened to Suguru.
He leans close to you, lips almost brushing yours as he pauses just a few millimeters away. "Since you like to be a little slut, we're just going to have to treat you like one."
With that being his only warning, he nods to Satoru who quickly stands up from the couch to start undressing, the black velvety fabric of his costume falling to the floor in a pile.
Suguru does the same, revealing toned, muscular thighs and rippling abs, his muscles flexing and tightening as he steps out of his costume.
Next to go are their boxers, revealing two, very impressive cocks, both hard with pearly pre-cum beading from their slits.
You take a moment to ogle them for a moment, never expecting your two best friends to have such pretty dicks.
Satoru's is so long, longer than Suguru's, and sticks up straight in the air, flushed a pale pink and coming to a perfect pointed Cupid's arrow at the top, veins running all along it.
Suguru, on the other hand, is not as long but he's thick. So thick in fact, you don't think you can fit your hand all the way around him. The tip is a dark reddish hue, and what most draws your eye to him is the presence of piercings. Three, to be exact, all leading up to the thick, mushroom head of his cock, leaking pre-cum all over his stomach.
He nods again at Satoru, and they both put the masks back on, leaving two naked Ghostfaces in front of you.
Your breathing increases, this being a fantasy straight out of one of your wet dreams, but before you can speak, Suguru's large hands come to grip tightly on your hips, flipping you over roughly onto all fours.
Your cheeks heat up, and you whimper softly, hearing shuffling behind you as they move into position.
One of their hands comes to smooth over the curve of your ass, as they line up their cock to your entrance, gliding the tip over your slick folds as lubricant. "Ready, love?"
Satoru's voice. You nod, and he immediately pushes in, stretching you as he tries to fit all of him into you.
You cry out softly as you feel him deeper than anyone has ever gone before, but he shushes you gently, bending down to whisper softly into your ear, "It's not even halfway in, love."
Choked whines and moans pour out from you as, inch by inch he slowly sheathes himself deep inside, your cunt tightening and rippling around him adjustingly.
Before you can get a chance to recover however, you feel another thick, spongy tip prodding at you. Suguru.
"Fuck 'sugu!.. mnngh.. 's not gonna fit!" You desperately try to move, but only succeed in sucking Satoru even further in, making him groan into your ear, shifting to make more room for Suguru.
" 's okay, baby. Jus'.. fuck.. let us do all the work." He begins to slowly slide himself in, you desperately scrabbling for purchase on the couch as he stuffs you even fuller.
You feel the cold metal of his piercings brushing your walls, and let out a broken wail as you desperately try to hold yourself up, your legs already shaking.
When he slowly continues to push into you, the seconds seeming to stretch on painfully, you instinctively try to crawl up the couch, but Satoru is quick to pull you back by the hips, slamming Suguru's cock into you fully as he pulls you even further against them.
Suguru gifts you a sharp smack! on the ass, growling as his voice turns slightly breathier. "Don't run from us now, doll."
You're so full at this point, you can barely breath, able to feel them all the way in your stomach, tears filling your lash line as you desperately try to accommodate both of them.
Roughly, Suguru suddenly pushes you forward, your face squishing into the cushion as he lifts your ass higher, your back arching instinctively.
They both groan at the lewd sight, your abused, stuffed cunt on full display for them to see and use as they please, slick dribbling down between your thighs as muffled moans spill out of you.
"G'na move now, mmkay?" Suguru's husky voice sounds above you, and you can hear Satoru struggling for breath as he slightly pushes his hips forward.
You take a deep breath to prepare yourself, but all the air leaves you in a soft huff as they begin thrusting into you, perfectly synchronized with each other, the rough metal of Suguru's cock catching on your tight walls.
"Fuck I- nngh.. t'much t'much!" You can barely breathe with both of their pulsing cocks steadily rocking into you, drool seeping into the cushion below you as your eyes flutter and roll back, your ass arching higher.
"You can take it, baby." Satoru practically whines out, the rich soft grunts spilling from Suguru in your ear causing your pussy to clamp desperately around both of them, hisses and soft curses sounding from behind you.
Your sweet whines and whimpers become progressively louder and louder as the room fills with the harsh smacking sound of skin against skin, and Suguru grabs a fistful of your hair, lifting your head up to cover your mouth with his hand, your teeth instantly sinking into his palm as tears spill down your cheeks freely.
You can feel your stomach tightening as they continue plunging into you relentlessly, Satoru whimpering pathetically as Suguru's thick, veiny cock grinds against his own, throbbing faintly inside you.
"S'fucking good. Why didn't we do this sooner?" Suguru grunts out, either to you or Satoru, you don't know as the only thing you can do is whine, pushing back on them slightly as warmth builds in your tummy.
One of Satoru's hands snake around you to rub your clit in unison with the harsh thrusts they're delivering, your mouth falling slack open from the sheer pleasure of it all.
As Satoru continues pressing against your throbbing clit, Suguru begins to roughly grope your breasts, squeezing and pinching tightly before moving down to your stomach to press against the bulge that disappears and reappears with every thrust.
Your climax now rapidly approaching, you turn your head over your shoulder to look at them, which turns out to be a huge mistake because what you see resembles something straight out of a porno.
Suguru has his head tilted back, hips languidly thrusting in and out, his mask slipping downward slightly to reveal long black hair fanning out messily around his shoulders. Satoru is a whiny, pathetic mess, his mask not being able to conceal how flustered and needy he looks as his hips piston in and out, shamelessly rubbing himself against Suguru's dick for more friction as his pale chest heaves up and down with every breath.
Before you even realize what's happening, you're coming, a muffled whine leaving your throat as your orgasm crests and crashes over you, a thin glistening geyser gushing out of you and covering both their cocks and chest as you squirt, not even realizing as your body falls forward, slumping onto the couch.
"Fuck baby, did you jus'..." Satoru can't hold back anymore after the lewd display you just gave, and comes with a groan, spilling himself deep into your velvety walls.
Suguru follows close behind, a milky white ring forming around his base from just how much cum he's pumping into you, hips stuttering erratically.
They both collapse on top of you, the weight of their bodies against yours comforting as you all gasp for breath together, sticky bodies sliding along each other, them pulling their masks off to reveal mussed hair and sweaty, flushed faces.
After a few moments of coming down from their highs, they both pull their softening cocks out, leaving your sticky, sweat-sheened body to heave for breath, desperately needing a reprieve.
But, you don't get a chance, as Suguru suddenly flips you back over, and spreads your legs wide, spitting a warm glob of saliva onto your sensitive, ruined cunt still seeping all the cum they had just filled you with mere moments ago.
You twitch, overstimulated and trying to turn away, but he just holds you down by the hips as Satoru crawls closer, his head bending down close, warm breath fanning over your poor pussy, and soft white hair brushing against your inner thighs.
"Come on baby, you haven't given us our Halloween treat yet."
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loveanddeepdick · 19 days ago
Text
sweetheart
obsessed!pervy!roommate!geto x f!reader
cw: roommates with tension to lovers, pervert geto, he’s kinda insane lol.., tracking, obsession, piv sex, kinda angry sex, creampie, possessiveness, panty stealing/sniffing/licking, NOT PROOFREAD IM JUST HORNNNYYY 😜😜
notes:part of my obsessed!geto series hehe, not completely the same as my hcs, but it kinda just combines all of them as best as i can 🫣
┈┈・୨ ✦ ୧・┈┈
“care to explain, suguru?”
you were holding up three pairs of your panties, dangling it in the air in front of geto as he’s standing in the doorway of his room.
┈┈・୨ ✦ ୧・┈┈
you’d moved in with geto nearly three months ago. you thought it was too good to be true, the rent was a little too cheap and the apartment looked somehow nicer in person. you knew suguru, he was close friends with satoru who’d been nothing but kind to you your whole time in high school and now in college as well.
suguru’s aura seemingly changed after the first month of you two living with eachother. you felt his eerie, purple eyes boring into your space and your eyes. you felt the air around you almost tense up when you mentioned guys. it was like he was gripping your soul sometimes.
of course, he knew you were looking back at him as well. when he got out of the shower and his towel was clinging onto his abs. maybe even when he came back from the gym and untied his slicked back hair while his black locks fell onto his muscular shoulders.
one night on your birthday when you both came back from your birthday dinner, he’d given you a special present, a small heart locket. he held his breath as he stood behind you, clicking it into place as he watched how every hair fell from its root in your scalp, how smooth your nape was, how your delicate hand held your hair out of the way.
he had hid a small, unnoticeable tracker inside the locker, tucked away in small details carved into the heart. the way you were carved into his.
he was whipped for you
however, naive of the deeper issues that were lying under your nose, for the past few weeks, you noticed that your underwear had been going missing at a concerning rate. it’d gone from reasonable to unexplainable and it pissed you off. honestly, you wouldn’t have even expected it was geto until he slipped two days ago.
you’d been running around the apartment, checking under tables and in drawers for your missing undergarments that you set out on your bed as you prepared a bath. you groaned before calling out for him
“sugu, have you seen my underwear?” you yelled while pacing the living room, hoping he’d hear you from his room.
“no, i dont even go near your bed”
you huffed, turning away before taking out an old one from the bottom of your underwear drawer until it hit you.
how would he know it was on your bed if he didn’t go in?
┈┈・୨ ✦ ୧・┈┈
there you were, snooping through his closet when you found exactly what you were looking for, your missing panties. you picked up a fraction what was hidden away in his closet and called out for him while you held them up. he came quickly, stopping at his doorframe as he watched you with the stolen undergarments.
you knew he wasn’t stupid, i mean, he had kept it going for so long. maybe he let it slip on purpose , maybe he wanted you to catch him.
“shiiit, looks like your laundry got in the wrong room,” he chuckled, wiping the shocked expression off his face before stepping into the room, “lemme put that in the laundry basket for y—“
“hell no!”, you shrieked, pulling your panties away, “you’re the reason why they’ve gone missing!”
geto bit the inside of his cheek before sighing and throwing his hands up, “you think they just grew legs? yes, it was me. think about it, sweetheart, who else would it be? the boogeyman?”
your jaw dropped at his words while he quietly laughed at his own joke. he’s perverted and corny. you hadn’t expected such a straightforward response from him. did this man have no shame? he stared at you while you were trying to find the words.
“cat got your tongue? i like you, sweetheart,” he lowered his hands as he grinned, his eyes traveling to the little locket he gifted you, “hope you’re not mad at me, i mean, i’ve seen your browser history, m’not the only person with some fucked up kinks—“
you threw your panties to the side before walking up to him. fuck it. grabbing him by his plain black shirt, you pulled him down and crashed your lips against his. he smiled against your lips, leaning into you before you pushed him away again.
“you asshole! you’re so weird, stealing my underwear when you could’ve just opened pornhub,” you huffed, wiping your mouth and chin with your sleeve.
“running away so soon?” he smiled as you turned away. you wished you could punch him in the mouth.
“yes.” you flatly stated as you try to push past him. he caught your wrist, pulling you back into his chest as he wraps his arms around your torso.
“don’t go, sweetheart. i know you want me,” he leaned in, taking a short sniff of your hair before he rested his chin on your head.
“i don’t want—“
“then pull away. i’ll stop everything, leaving you alone, and pretend nothing happened,” he mumbled, pulling away and holding you by your shoulders. his eyes bore into your face as your eyes wandered elsewhere, ignoring his gaze.
“use your words, baby,” he whispered, his hand coming up to cup your face as you unconsciously lean into him.
“i-i do..” you admit, looking down in shame.
“aww, baby, s’okay..” he chuckled, bringing you back into his arms as he squeezed you, “i know, i know.. don’t be embarrassed, i’m sorry for taking your panties,”
it felt like he was babying you but you couldn’t help but reciprocate his actions, slowly returning the embrace. you look back up to him, his eyes already on you as you go on your tippy-toes, capturing his lips.
“i want you, sugu”
┈┈・୨ ✦ ୧・┈┈
geto wastes no time, throwing you gently onto the bed as tugs your pajama shorts off, prying your legs open as he smiles as the small damp spot on your panties. embarassed, you try closing your legs but he keeps them open, clicking his tongue in faux annoyance.
he dips his head in, pressing his nose up against your little clit, rubbing it a little as you whimper. he sharply inhales, whining from your scent before his tongue darts out to taste your slick on your panties.
“s-sugu!” you yelp, jolting from the feeling of his tongue and how shameless geto was being
“shh, shh, jus lemme do it,” he whispered, his tongue darting back out to lick back and forth from your clit to your clothed pussy. he pulled back finally, to admire how sheer your little panties had gotten before he pressed his nose in one last time, whining as he inhaled the mess he caused.
he stood back up, gesturing for you to sit up on the edge of the bed, guiding your hand to his crotch. you look up at him for approval before he nods, your hand cupping his erection before unzipping it, his black boxers doing nothing to hide his huge cock.
there was a small trail of black hair making your mouth water, a stairway to heaven, or maybe hell. you cautiously pulled his boxers down, his hard cock springing out as his tip slapped against his tummy.
geto hissed as his cock finally spring free, watching you wrap your hand around it. he couldn’t believe his eyes, he’d been fantasizing about this for weeks, seeing his little roommate beneath him, seeing you finally accept him in.
the moment you wrapped your lips around his cock, he couldn’t do it anymore. he already felt like he was going to cum in your mouth and he’d be damned if his first time in you wasn’t in your little pussy.
pushing you down again on the bed, he yanked your panties off, giving your clit a small spank as you gasped.
“please, sweetheart, lemme cum in your pussy first. we can do whatever you want after,” he whined, pumping his cock as he lined himself up to your wet pussy.
you nodded frantically, reaching down to the bottom of his abs and trailing to his neatly cut pines above his cock. he groaned, his eyes rolling back as he pushed inside you.
“f-fuck.. yes, baby, fuck, i’ve been wanting this for so l-long..” he groaned, loosing himself in the feeling of your wet heat.
“be—shit! be quiet suguru.. just fuck me!” you cried
his head snapped up, his cock hardening impossibly more as he moved his hips, suguru’s girthy cock pushing all the way up and kissing your cervix. he loved you this way. being able to submit yet put him in his place, he loved you.
“fuck, fuck, baby, you feel so good!” suguru’s head dipped down, his eyes widening almost maniacally as he watches his special necklace bouncing in tandem with your tits.
he reached down, running his hands over your chest and the necklace as he pounded your pussy mercilessly. suguru moved his hand down, running your clit with his thumb as he watched his cock disappear into your pussy over and over again, making a translucent white ring of juices form around the base of his cock.
his tip was dragging over your g-spot in an almost euphoric way as he groaned profanities in your ear. he ran his tongue along your collarbone, licking up to his neck to leave marks on your neck.
“say it, sweetheart, say you’re mine” he pleads with you, his eyes furrowing as he grabs your face gently, making you look at him.
“i’m yours, sugu..” you mumble, drunk on his cock as your drool on his hand.
“use your big girl voice, baby, ‘can’t hear you”
“i’m yours! all yours!” you cry, “f-fuck, sugu i’m gonna cum!”
his pace quickens, continuing to hit your g-spot until all you could see was white.
“cum for me, sweetheart, cum all over my cock.. fuck!”
you unravel on his cock, squirting all over his cock, making him cum as well. his cock shot warm ropes of cum deep into your sweet pussy as he paused, not pulling out just yet. he leaned back, admiring you as he rubbed your clit, letting you ride out your orgasm before giving your tits a small spank as well.
“good girl, good fuckin girl.. you’re all mine now, sweetheart”
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hannieehaee · 8 months ago
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GOSH im in love with your writing like YOU HAVE NO IDEA SWEETHEART
And I'm desperate for some friends to lovers with seokmin who begs to taste you, his bff, after you joked about how your friends are saying he would be the best in eating a girl out bc of his nose🫦
18+ / mdi
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content: simp!seokmin, bffs2lovers, smut, afab reader, eating out, seokmin's nose, etc.
wc: 682
a/n: HEHE THANK U SO MUCH<33 had to choose these pics bc his nose looked soo good in these i cry T-T
masterlist
"o-oh"
"seokmin, fuck, just forget i said anything," you groaned, covering your face with your hands in embarrassment.
why did you think it was a good idea to bring up your drunken ramblings to seokmin completely unprovoked?
"n-no! don't be embarrassed. you just surprised me, that's all," he sat next to you on the couch, encouraging you to remove your hands from your face.
"it is embarrassing. i dont want you to think of me as some horny loser lusting after her best friend. i swear, i didnt even bring it up! they were just talking about guys with big noses and you were the first guy that i thought of and-"
"my nose? you thought about how my nose would feel?"
"n-no, i-"
"i, i mean, it's okay if you did," he said, scooting closer to you despite his eyes looking everywhere but into yours.
you decided to take a plunge, turning your body to face his as you looked to him in wonderment.
"what do you mean?"
"i mean, uh, i mean that it wouldn't bother me if ... if you thought about me in that way," seokmin winced at himself as the words left him, still unable to look at you.
gulping, you got closer to him, nudging him to turn to you also.
"do you mean that, seokmin? i ... do you-"
"yes," he was firm in his answer, finally looking at you.
"oh ... do you wanna ..."
"yes," he practically whined.
~
"o-oh, fuck! m-minnie, just like that ... yes!"
"'sso good, shit. so warm ..."
it hadn't taken much encouragement for you to jump seokmin after he'd given you confirmation that he did, in fact, want you in the same way you did him. after aggressively making out for a good ten minutes or so, seokmin had pleaded for you to please open your legs for him and let him have a taste of you. you, being you, needed no convincing to open your legs and guide him where you wanted him most.
by now he had spent the past ten minutes alternating between licking at you and suckling on your clit, but he was yet to show you what his nose would feel like as it slid against your folds.
before you could beg for it, seokmin's strong arms grabbed a hold of your hips and tilted you a bit in order to position his nose in a way that would grace your bundle of nerves just right all the while his tongue continued to explore you.
you screamed the moment you felt his sharp nose drag up and down your cunt, falling in love with its straight shape and the slight slope of it. the sharpness and rough exterior of his nose made you cry out in pleasure. it wasnt long until you began grinding against his face like a maniac, completely ignoring his attempts at guiding you against his face.
grabbing his head, you rubbed him against you while you canted your cunt against his face, tears flowing down your face at the pleasure.
"y-your nose, minnie! o-oh ... so good, fuck. so fucking good ..." you breathed out, followed by many other praised and curses at the pretty boy below you.
he was unable to speak due to the way you had taken over the entirety of his mouth, but his groans of pleasure were enough to get you crying even harder for him.
seokmin continued savagely eating you out while you ground against his nose all the way until your high, somehow managing to speed up his movements the closer you got to your orgasm.
with a silent scream, your fists closed in on seokmin's hair one last time before you dropped limp against your bed.
the room was silent for a few moments while both you and seokmin caught your breaths. but the moment the two of you were apt to speak, seokmin climbed on the bed and began kissing his way up to your lips, giggling at your fucked out state.
"so my nose, huh?" he teased, face scrunched up due to his pretty smile.
"shut up."
2K notes · View notes
starsinthesky5 · 2 months ago
Text
nothing's gonna hurt you baby II part 1 || joe burrow x reader
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description: loving what you do doesn’t always mean it loves you back—it takes more than it gives sometimes
a/n: oh my GOD this is so long. it wasn’t supposed to be this long 😃😃😃😃. pls don’t hate me lol. this might have been the longest time i spent writing a fic too which is insane but i mean the word count speaks for itself HA. i really hope this isn’t total shit.  but, so sorry I kept you all waiting for so long!! i really hope this was worth the wait :) i took my time with this one!
also, huge huge thank you to @sofferaddict for inspiring a chunk of this fic! you’re ideas and requests were PERFECT and i hope I did them justice :)
warnings: angst, language, allusions to sex, smut at the end  (👨🚲 does this make sense???)
word count: 28.5 k (IM SO SORRY YALL-)
nothings gonna hurt you baby mini series master list (previous parts found here
——————————————————
Walking into Arrowhead Stadium always creates a complex mix of emotions for you; a rich blend of excitement, nervous energy, and uncertainty. It was a feeling that seemed to linger in the air for hours to come, creating an atmosphere charged with both anxiety and thrill. This mix was a given considering the matchup that was taking place, Joe Burrow vs Patrick Mahomes. It was two of the best in the league going against each other, a rivalry that had captivated the entire football community and had become one of the most talked-about spectacles in recent years. Whenever the Bengals went head-to-head with the Chiefs, the tension was electrifying yet frightening. But it wasn't about fear of losing—true fans knew the Bengals were the Chiefs' biggest rivals for the past 4 years and were their biggest threats—it was more about fearing how intense this game would be, but that also created excitement. The excitement came from knowing that this matchup promised to deliver an intense, high-energy, and nail-biting game that would leave everyone on the edge of their seats.
However, this time, you were feeling more excited than usual. Normally, you’d be on the verge of throwing up while walking through the concourse at Arrowhead, the bright red seats in the stands acting as a warning sign that forcefully caught your attention as if something urgent or dangerous was about to happen in the next few hours. This time, however, the bright red seats produced a feeling of comfort and nostalgia, like everything was back to normal while also reminding you of the memories you had here in years past (some sweeter than others).
You weren’t sure why, but playing the Chiefs made things feel like they were truly back to normal, despite the terrible loss against the Patriots the week before. Maybe it was because Joe always played his best against KC, so this game might just light that fire inside of him he so desperately needed last week. Or maybe it was because you knew how last week's loss put the entire team on notice so today's performance should be near perfect and push things back on track since they knew what narratives were being tossed around in the media right now. 
Whatever it was, the bottom line was that you felt relaxed and confident—a complete 360 from how you felt last week before the game. 
And you weren’t the only one who felt this way today. Joe did too. 
For real this time. 
Flashback to last night 
“I miss you,” he softly said over the phone and pouted as you moved your phone back into your view and flipped over to your stomach on your bed. 
“I just saw you a few hours ago,” you giggled. “I drove you to the airport,”. 
“Yeah, I know,” he said while leaning back against his hotel bed's headrest. “But I miss touching you and feeling you next to me. That thing we did in the car was nice but that only made me more…you know…after we were done. I just miss you, all of you,”. 
You felt your cheeks heat up at his words, remembering in vivid detail what transpired in the car before he left to go board the plane. What started as an innocent goodbye kiss quickly turned into a heated exchange that led to Joe pulling you to the backseat of the Porsche and having his way with you. Even though it had been a few hours, you could still practically feel his hand gripping your thigh right now, feel his hot breath against your ear, hearing his raspy voice chant your name breathlessly over and over. That’s how dazed you still were. 
“Simmer down, Burrow. Gotta save that energy for tomorrow,” you smiled. 
“I can’t help it when my girlfriend is the most beautiful woman on the planet,” he winked while threading his fingers through his frosted tips. “You're not just beautiful, you’re magnetic. There's something about you that draws me in and doesn’t let me go, not just your looks but the way you carry yourself–confident, sexy, and undeniably captivating. Your eyes are like liquor and your body’s like gold. One thing makes me drunk to the point where I lose all sense and the other makes me greedy for more,”. 
“Joeee,” you shied away from the camera and smiled, then hid your face in the soft pillow that smelled exactly like him–crisp and clean, with a hint of his natural musk, and a little spicy–which only made you miss him even more and caused your smile to drop. 
Yeah, you missed him too. How could you not? You had gotten so used to having him around all the time during the past 10 months and all of a sudden he’s not and is spending the majority of his time at the facility, that wasn’t something you were getting used to just yet. You were beyond excited that he could now do what he loved which he had been missing for far too long, but you missed him. You missed those peaceful evenings that you two spent together, wrapped up in each other’s embrace, and lounging on the couch while watching a silly movie. You missed those mornings when you’d get to wake up to his adorable smile and gentle kisses. You missed those late nights you two spent out in the backyard, staring up at the stars and talking about life. Now that football had fully begun, these things would become sporadic and you couldn’t help but miss him every single second he was away from you, even if you had just seen him just a few hours ago like today. 
“What? It’s true,” he smirked, snapping you out of your trance. “I can’t stay away from you, you know that. I just wanna be around you all the time because of the way you make me feel,”.
He wanted to be around you, he really did. But this is what he’d have to deal with for the next 5 to 6 months and it killed him to not spend as much time with you as he wished. The past 10 months were a blessing in disguise for him; even though he was far away from what he loved to do, he was with the person he loved to love. That’s all that mattered.
But now he was close to what he loved to do, but a little further from the person he loved to love–and that sucked. 
“Oh really? How do I make you feel?” you asked while peeking up from the pillow with a cheeky grin.
“Hmm,” he hummed and raised his eyebrow as he pretended to think about how you made him feel. He really didn’t need to think about it, the way you made him feel was so obvious to the point where even everyone around him could see it. 
Just that afternoon, after Joe finally got out of the car and made his way to the plane, Ja’marr and Tee noticed that Joe looked happier, livelier, and more radiant than normal. At first, they couldn’t put their finger on what made him feel like that, especially before a game like this where he’d normally be dialed in and visibly numb. But once they saw the Porsche drive away and a girl wave goodbye in the window, they knew exactly what got him to this point. 
They dubbed this the ‘Y/N glow’, a playful name for the look Joe had whenever he was around them and was giving off specific energy, a specific energy that they noticed he had around you. So whenever Joe showed up around the guys with this glow–without you by his side–they knew something must have happened before with you to make him like this. They applauded your talents, nothing could make Joe this visibly happy, not even football. The way he remained like this even when you weren’t around was remarkable, it goes to show the depth of your love for him and the profound impact you had on him.
That’s why Joe wanted to be around you at all times, the way you made him feel was irreplicable and so good that he was addicted to it, to you. You brought a smile to his face by doing the most minimal things, making him feel a genuine happiness that football could never bring him. You always had a way of making him feel better, even when he was so far gone that he didn’t even know how to pull himself out of that hole on his own. He needed you, he always needed you. Last week was the perfect example; he was almost too deep into that hole of anxiety and self-doubt and pushed you away again, but you once again came right in with no limitations and pulled him back out. He was so extremely blessed to have you in his corner, and he knew that. 
“You make me feel like I’ve already won,” he grinned. 
“Won what?” you bit your lip and asked, flipping around onto your back.
“The best trophy anyone can possibly win,”. 
“Are you calling me a trophy girlfriend?” you furrowed your brows and asked. 
“Oh, no. God no,” he laughed. “I mean, I feel like I’ve already won with you. The greatest thing anyone can have in this world is genuine, unconditional love. I have that…with you,” he said, his tone becoming more serious. “Winning you and your love is the greatest trophy, the greatest achievement I could ever have,”. 
“Even greater than a Lombardi?” you asked, a tear forming in your eyes because of the sudden severity of his voice. The combination of his voice and the emotions you were already feeling from being apart from him created a strong mix. If he wasn't currently on Facetime with you, you would’ve found yourself seeking comfort in his pillow, probably crying your eyes out. “Fuck, I miss him,” you thought to yourself. 
“Greater than a Lombardi, MVP, and Hall of Fame induction,” he nodded. 
“Damn, you really love me,” you giggled as you subtly wiped the tear from your eye, trying to prevent him from seeing that you were a little emotional because you didn’t need him to get distracted. 
“Really is an understatement. Loving you is like being on fire because it’s intense, all-consuming, and totally wild. It burns inside me, making my heart and soul come alive. You're the flame I never want to put out, the passion I never want to lose. You're the light in my darkest hours and the warmth in my coldest nights,”.
“You’re so sweet and poetic,” you blushed, giving him a love-struck smile as you gazed deeply into his eyes through the screen.  
“And you’re so damn cute,” he smiled as he got up from his bed to grab his water bottle.
You let out a soft chuckle, your heart swelling because of how gentle, warming, and loving his words directed to you were, “How are you feeling about tomorrow?” you asked, getting up from your bed and walking over to the bathroom to fix your messy hair. 
“Surprisingly good,” he said as he moved around the room, sounds of shuffling and clanking filling the bathroom as you grabbed your brush. “Practice went well, as you know, and I feel pretty good about where I’m at. Physically and Mentally,” he nodded as he came back into the camera view. 
“That’s great, babe,” you smiled, feeling lighter after hearing him say that he feels good mentally. Last week was rough and you did not want to see a repeat of that ever again, especially after how long it took you to calm him down. 
“I was too hard on myself last week, can’t let that happen again or I think I’ll be borderline psychotic by week 18,” he joked. 
As you spoke, a warm, reassuring smile graced your face. "You're absolutely right. It's not healthy to load yourself with so much pressure. What's important is that you're giving it your all. I want you to know that I'm genuinely proud of you no matter what," you said gently, your hand reaching up to brush back a loose strand of hair.
“Thanks, Y/N,” he smiled. “Kansas City’s always a good game regardless. Tomorrow should be good. Not an easy game, but good. Unlike last week, I feel relaxed and confident. Since I’ve gotten hit a few times, that’s put my mind at ease about the wrist a little bit and I feel good. I’m hoping tomorrow’s game will bring that fire back into the guys, and even me,” he said before unscrewing the cap of his water and taking a big sip. 
“I know it will,” you said while grabbing a hair clip. “At least we know Ja’marr will be fired up no matter what,” you giggled, referring to Ja’marrs long-lasting beef with the entirety of Kansas City. 
He let out a soft laugh, “Ohhh yeah. He’s amped up for sure,”. He closed his water before returning to the camera with a cheeky grin, “I am too, to be honest, but not only because we’re playing the Chiefs. I’m excited to have you here for the game,”.
“Well, I’m excited to be there for the game,” you winked as you grabbed the phone and went back to the bedroom. “My flight’s in like an hour or so and Emma should be meeting me at the airport so we can fly to Kansas City together,”.
“I’m glad she could fly in for the game and keep you company,” he said, talking about your childhood best friend. “I didn’t want you to be all alone since my parents can’t make it and thank god and my big ass contract for letting me get you guys a suite.. I don’t ever want you sitting in the stands because those fans are intense as hell,”. 
“Tell me about it,” you said, widening your eyes. “They’re so fucking loud on TV and in person, it’s like on a whole other level of rowdy fans. I thought Philly had the rowdiest NFL fans but KC might give them a run for their money,”.
“Mmm, I think Philly still wins in that department,” Joe shook his head and said. "But Kansas City definitely knows how to bring the energy, especially when they're up against the Bengals. It's like they're out there with an extra level of fire and even insanity when they're up against us,”. 
“Well it’s a good thing you’re Joe Cool and can effortlessly cool them off by doing what you do out there,” you grinned, making dramatic hand movements to emphasize your words. 
“Thanks, Y/N,” he chuckled, threading his fingers through his soft frosted tips. “I’m gonna let you go now so you can get to your flight on time. I know you get stressed out at the airport so you should probably leave now to give yourself some grace time,” he smiled. “I think some of the guys are going down to grab something to eat from the conference room so I’m gonna go with them,”. 
"You’re probably right,” you laughed and nodded as you reached down and pulled up your sleek, black carry-on suitcase with silver accents. The suspense of the game weighed heavily on your mind as you spoke, "I don't know if I'll get a chance to talk to you tomorrow before the game, so I just wanted to say that you got this, Joe. I know you do. Remember to keep calm, take a deep breath, and dial in on the field. Don't think about anything else–forget about the roar of the crowd, the flashing cameras of the media, the distracting questions from the reporters. Block it all out and do what you do best out there. It's just you and the football,". 
"I love you so much," Joe said as if he was lost in some trance, his eyes filled with warmth and sincerity, while giving you a tight-lipped smile. You could see the genuine affection in his eyes as he spoke those words. He valued your words, advice, and honesty more than anything else. 
"I love you too," you said, unable to contain your joy as a wide grin spread across your face. Your cheeks flushed with a rosy blush, responding to the intense gaze he fixed on you. His eyes spoke volumes, showing an overwhelming amount of love and endearing infatuation that made your heart flutter.
End of flashback 
Hearing him say that he felt good about today's game, with a confident smile on his face and a sense of determination in his voice, was all you needed to fully relax and feel a weight being lifted off your shoulders. You noticed the way his eyes sparkled with a mix of excitement and focus, and you couldn't help but feel a wave of positive energy. You were genuinely excited about the game this time, it was a completely different feeling than you had before last week's game when doubt and nerves had overshadowed your usual enthusiasm.
“Did I mention how amazing you look right now, Mrs. Burrow?” Emma teased as she snapped you out of your trance. You blinked your eyes a few times and realized you were now standing in your suite for the evening which was facing the Bengals sideline, not knowing when and how you even ended up in there. You looked down and noticed you were holding a glass, seemingly filled with a Vodka Cranberry Cocktail, not even knowing how this drink ended up in your hold. “Damn, he has me in a trance even when he’s not with me,” you thought to yourself as you looked back at Emma. 
“Em…,” you said to her while giving her a look.
“What? I’m just stating the facts, Y/N. I know that ring is coming sooner rather than later,” she winked. “Joe is so down bad obsessed with you, I really don’t think he can go another year without officially officially marking his territory with a big, beautiful diamond ring,”. 
"...Yeah," you giggled and nodded a few seconds later, feeling a little shy all of a sudden at the mention of how obsessed he was with you. The thought of marrying Joe filled your mind with a sense of euphoria and excitement, it was a beautiful dream you craved to turn into reality. The past 5 years with him were nothing short of a fairytale, and you two ruled the kingdom you had built together hand-in-hand with no intention of ever letting go. From the moment you first saw each other, you knew that this relationship would be different; and it was. It was different because you two had a connection that neither of you had ever had with anyone before. A kind of connection that only needed one small spark to fully catch on fire. And that fire burned no matter the circumstance: through the rain, the wind, and anything that threatened to blow it out. 
A connection that felt like it was written in the stars–something cosmic, fated, inescapable. Once those stars aligned, everything clicked into place your lives intertwined in a way that felt as natural as breathing. It wasn’t forced and it certainly wasn’t rushed; it was like you were both simply waiting for the universe to do its thing, to bring you together at the right moment. As time went on, you realized just how deeply ingrained that bond was. It wasn’t just the shared laughs, the stolen kisses, or even the way you could read each other without saying a word. It was the way you stood by each other through the storms, the way you’d hold each other’s hands when the weight of the world was too much to carry alone.
Joe had reassured you of his intent to marry you multiple times which only intensified the significance of Emma's words and made butterflies flutter in your belly. Joe knew you were his forever from the second he saw you, it was only a matter of time before he made it clear to everyone. You twirled a strand of your hair around your finger, feeling a warm blush creeping up your cheeks as you tried to hide your smile. “But he’s focused on ball right now and he knows I don’t care when it happens,”. 
“We’ll see,” Emma grinned, her tone of voice making you suspicious but you decided to let it go knowing this wasn’t the time to pick her brain about this subject. “But seriously, you look hot as hell right now. Best dressed WAG in the league by a long shot and man is Joe going to die when he sees this look. Taylor ain’t got nothing on you today,”.
"Hey," you snapped as your jaw fell, unable to hide your surprise. "No disrespect to Taylor. We love her, and I know she's on the enemy’s side tonight, but listen, her music has been with us through thick and thin, every breakup, situationship, and boyfriend. Without her, I don’t think I would’ve been able to get over James. Not to mention, I think she subconsciously wrote Call it what you want and King of my heart about me and Joe,".
“You’re right, you’re sooo right,” Emma said as she nodded. “But like, you look great,” she smiled as she gestured to your outfit. 
You were wearing a skin-tight, cropped, custom-made, orange Burrow jersey that fit like a baby tee. It was a unique piece, specially made to your measurements and featuring Joe’s name and number. Along with the jersey, you wore your trademark ‘9’ necklace, adding a personal touch to the outfit. The denim mini-skirt complemented the jersey top perfectly, adding a casual yet stylish element to your look. The custom white knee-high boots were a standout feature, with a beautifully embroidered ‘9’ on the bottom by your ankle, fashionably showcasing your team spirit. To top it off, you had a vintage Bengals hat on, completing the outfit with a touch of retro charm. Truth be told, you looked absolutely stunning and it was clear who you were specifically supporting tonight.
“I guess I do,” you smiled, taking a sip of the cocktail that was in your hand. 
You spent the rest of the time watching the pre-game warmups, observing how quickly fans flooded the stadium, and listening to how loud it was getting even though the game hadn’t even started yet. There were hardly any Bengals fans around your suite, honestly, all you saw was a sea of red around the stadium–not really surprising since not everyone wants to make a trip to Kansas City during week 2, especially after that loss last week. 
“Holy Red Kingdom,” Emma said in surprise, raising her eyebrows as she looked down and saw a crowd of Chiefs fans right in front of your suite. 
“Yeah,” you nodded as you looked down with her, your eyes scanning the crowd and only seeing ‘15’s and ‘87’s along with bright red shirts, hats, and jerseys. As you looked around the crowd and glanced down to the right, searching for any signs of orange, you heard loud, obnoxious shouting from below. At first, you thought it was just rowdy fans getting excited for the game about to start in a few minutes. But then the words that followed made you feel uneasy, and you quickly looked in that direction.
“Lookie, Lookie. Looks like we got a little Burrow fan up there,” one of the men said pointing up at you. 
“Really?” another man cackled, looking right up at you, his face contorting to a look of surprise once he saw you. “Oh shit!”. 
“No fucking way,” another man howled. “I didn’t think that joke of a quarterback still had any fans around. Especially after that embarrassing loss last week against the Patriots out of all teams. Like how do you play that bad against the fucking Patriots during Week 1? And wasn’t he all ‘I feel as good as I’ve ever felt in my entire career’ like two weeks ago? It sure as hell didn’t look like it last Sunday,” he laughed. “He was probably lying to save his ass,”. 
“That injury clearly fucked him up for good, there’s no coming back from that. He might as well just call it quits now before he gets hurt again and ends up stuck in the hospital bed, I’ve never seen a more injury-prone quarterback since Andrew Luck, Burrow should stop chasing that trophy and sit back down and think about his health,” he laughed, making a mockery out of Joe’s health and stamina. 
“I mean, it’s not like he had much going for him before the injury anyway. He came into the league as this hotshot, sparkly quarterback but has nothing to show for the hype that’s around him except for an embarrassing Super Bowl loss. Not to mention that he was overpaid by a lot I mean, with that contract you’d think he’d won two Lombardi’s back to back,” the other man laughed. “Bitch thinks he’s Pat Mahomes,” the man shook his head and hollered, earning loud laughs and words of agreement from the other men. 
“Hey!” one of the other men shouted up at you. “You’re supporting the wrong guy, sweet cheeks,” he slurred as he pointed back to the field. “A pretty lady like you needs to show up for a real man like Mahomes or Kelce. Hell, we’re probably better than that pussy, Burrow,” he snarled, the hungry look in his eyes making you feel incredibly uneasy.
“Oooooo,” another man teased. “She does look like she’d look hot in KC red. Not to mention how bangin’ her body is and that ugly orange isn’t doing her tits any justice,”.
Emma's eyes widened in shock as she whispered, "Oh my god," and placed a reassuring hand on your shoulder. The lewd comments from the drunk men made you both furious and highly uncomfortable, causing your shoulders to tense up with nervousness.
“Yeahhh,” the other man shouted, “Come sit down here with us, sweetheart. We can help you take that ugly ass Burrow shirt off and give you one of our shirts to wear…but that’s if you’re lucky,” he winks, earning high-fives from the other men for insinuating something like that. 
He was so obviously drunk. They were all drunk. 
Your heart raced in your chest, each beat echoing in your ears as a wave of anxiety washed over you, leaving you paralyzed with hesitation. Your mind raced, desperately searching for the right words or actions in this strange situation. This was uncharted territory for you, something you had never expected having to confront so you had no idea what to say or do. 
“He’s a failure!”. “Complete waste of talent right there!”. “He can’t even throw like he used to!”. “Career went down the toilet as soon as he was drafted to Shittcinati!”. “He’s one hit away from being done for good!”. 
The insults echoed in your mind, each word leaving a harsh mark and adding to the weight on your shoulders you thought you got rid of over the past week. As the crowd quieted for the kickoff, the echoes of their insults lingered. During the chaos, you could only think about Joe, feeling his absence strongly. The hurtful words triggered familiar feelings of anxiety and worry that you had worked hard to overcome before stepping into the stadium and you didn’t know what to do.
“Y/N?” Emma asked as she grabbed your trembling hand. “Are you alright?” she asked as she gave it a gentle squeeze. 
“Y- yeah,” you lied as you felt your eyes well with tears. “I’m fine. It was just a bunch of drunk idiots, n- nothing to worry about,” you said to her while giving her a fake, rehearsed smile as you felt that pit in your stomach you got last week come back. 
“Are you sure? That was fucking disgusting and so uncalled for, I’m sure we can talk to someone and-,”.
“No.” you interrupted her and said, your voice heavy and almost scared. “I really don’t want to make a scene here and I don’t even think those guys knew I’m Joe’s girlfriend. I really don’t want to be the subject of those annoying headlines over this and make things even more distracting for Joe,” you swallowed. 
“But I-,”.
“Emma, please,” you pleaded as you looked into her eyes. “I’m fine,” you lied again, giving her false reassurance by pulling her in for a hug.
You were not fine. Joe. You needed Joe. The one person who could calm you down, get you to relax, the person who would be able to deal with this and shield you from the disgusting comments. “I need you right now,” you thought to yourself as you felt your throat tighten and tears threaten to spill out. You had never experienced anything like this before and although it was just a group of idiotic men that didn’t know you or Joe enough to be saying all of that, it still felt like a punch straight to the gut because the things they were saying were along the same lines of what Joe was saying to you last week, only they were saying it in a harsher more hateful manner. You weren’t even sure if you wanted to tell Joe about this, knowing that it would just become another distraction for him. 
“This is going to be a long game,” you thought to yourself after pulling away from the hug sitting back down in your seat, feeling the urge to shrink away and hide. The pit in your stomach mixed with your growing anxiety left a bitter taste in your mouth, making you feel exactly how you did last week during the game. 
It felt as if the protective bubble shielding you from the raging storm outside had burst, leaving you once again in the middle of the storm, feeling scared, anxious, and on the verge of being swept away by your thoughts.
“Fuck,” you thought to yourself. “I hope this feeling goes away,”. 
A few hours later - End of the Game
It definitely did not go away.
The comments from the drunk fans set the tone for you for the rest of the game. It seemed like everything went downhill from there–for you and for the team. Some exciting, explosive moments had you on your feet but those were tinted by the other, more unpleasant things that happened. 
You found yourself once again on the edge of your seat the entire game, but not because of the thrill or because you had adrenaline coursing through your veins. It was for the exact same reason as last week–you were scared, anxious, and upset. The game was neck and neck, a pure nail-biter as usual, and the Bengals put up one hell of a fight and honestly should have won the game, but they once again couldn’t do it.
They played good and way better than last week, but just not good enough. 
And then it came to Joe. The one person that had been on your mind since the game began. 
Flashback
"Oh my god!" you yelled as you shot up from your chair, your heart palpitating in your chest as you saw Joe go in for the QB sneak. You could see the determination in his eyes as he charged forward, only to get his shoulder rammed into by a defender. In that split second, you knew it was going to be a hard hit. Joe was brought straight to the ground, his helmet knocked off, and he was immediately crushed by several large opposing players. The impact echoed through the stadium as you breathed, praying he’d get up.
“Holy Shit,” Emma gasped next to you, her hand over her mouth. “I hope he’s okay, that looks like it fucking hurt,”. 
“Joe, please be okay,” you whispered to yourself, your entire body feeling as if it was just thrown into a familiar brick wall. Immediately, your mind wandered over to the moments he had gotten injured in the past, and what just happened in that play was very similar to what’s happened before. The feeling you got in your body just now was very similar to how you felt in those moments. It was as if you were thrown into the abyss, had your heart torn from your chest, or stabbed in the stomach. 
“Not again. I can’t do that again. He can’t do that again,” you thought to yourself as you felt your eyes pool with tears. “His fucking helmet flew off, Emma,” you said as you turned to her, your voice trembling and breaths getting shorter. “And…and his shoulder. The way he went down…,”.
“I know, I know,” she said as she rubbed your back, “But look, he’s getting up and he looks fine”. 
You looked back down to the field, watching as Joe grabbed his helmet and stood up with an emotionless look on his face. As you watched him from a distance, you noticed that there was no hint of a limp in his stride, no flexing of his wrist, and no visible signs of shoulder pain. It seemed like he was moving with relaxation and confidence, showing no physical pain as he prepared to rejoin the game.
“See? It’s okay. He’s okay,” she soothed as she swayed you back and forth for comfort. 
“Fuck,” you whispered as you slowly nodded, taking deep breaths to even out your heart rate, “He’s okay…He’s fine…,”. 
“Yeah, he’s fine,” Emma reassured. “Don’t worry so much. Joe’s a tough guy, a play like this isn’t going to hurt him. Especially now since he’s so so much stronger and tougher, ”. 
“You’re right,” you swallowed, trying to calm yourself down by continuing to take deep breaths and using your right hand to gently rub your left hand (the hand which had the veins that led straight to your heart)—a gesture that always calmed you down that Joe discovered. You rubbing your hand didn’t have the same effect as when Joe did it, but it was enough for now. 
“I just- they can’t do that again. He could’ve gotten really hurt,” you mumbled.
Even though he looked calm and normal, you started to feel more and more uneasy. At the same time, you began to taste something bitter in your mouth, and it got stronger with every breath.
End of Flashback
The trauma of witnessing his previous injuries had left you with a bit of PTSD. As a result, every time he fell or moved differently, you experienced intense anxiety and fear, believing that something may be seriously wrong. 
You had hoped that moment was the only time this evening you’d feel like this, but you couldn’t have been more wrong. 
The QB sneak was just one example from this evening.
Flashback 
“Yeah, and I thought about bringing Ryland but he had to go into New York this weekend with his brother for the Cage The Elephant concert,” Emma said as she took a sip of her cocktail. You two were talking about needing to plan a double date with the four of you (you, Joe, Emma, and her Boyfriend). She also mentioned that she wanted to bring him to the game this evening but he already had tickets for the concert with his brother and wished he could have joined you all. 
“Sooo, I take it you two are getting serious,” you giggled, wiggling your eyebrows. 
“What makes you say that?” she asked, taking another sip.
“We never do double dates, Em. Like ever,” you smiled. “Your exes were douches so you never brought them around Joe and me on purpose as a coupley thing but you are with Ryland so something has to be different,”.
“I could say the same thing about you, Mrs. Burrow, Mrs. Quarterback, Mrs. 9, Mrs. Cincinnati, Mrs. Shiesty,” she teased with a silly smile. “You never brought a boyfriend around me like that for the same reason and here we are, sitting in a suite your lover rented for you, watching him play football, while you’re completely decked out in his name and number.  You and Joe are like a package deal. Inseparable, attached at the hip, and so obsessed with one another. You are locked the fuckkkk in and I could not be more happier for you,”. 
“Emmmaaaaa,” you whined, hiding your face out of shyness. 
“I can just hear those wedding bells, Y/N,” she giggled, pulling your hands down. “Here comes the bride,” she sing-songed.
“Rigggghtttt,” you nodded, laughing along with her and glancing back to the field to see if the break was over and to see where your boyfriend was.
You felt your heart drop and a lump forming in your throat as your eyes locked onto Joe, who was standing crouched down on the field. "Oh my god," you choked, the words barely escaping your lips as you shot up from your chair, feeling the adrenaline coursing through your veins. You walked with shaky steps straight to the edge of the suite window, your mind racing with a million thoughts at once.
You saw Joe standing on the field, his back to you, and crouched down; almost as if he was holding his wrist. Your mind quickly flashed back to November 16th, M&T Bank Stadium, the night he got hurt and was in this exact position. “Oh my god,” you said again, this time more panic evident in your voice. 
“What’s wrong?” Emma asked as she looked at you.
“Joe…he looks like he’s holding his wrist?” you mumbled as you moved to the side to see if you could get a better look. “Emma, I think something’s wrong,” you said, feeling a wave of nausea come over you. 
Emma quickly got up from her seat and walked over next to you, taking a look at what you were talking about. “Are you sure?” she asked with a concerned look. 
“It- it looks like it…oh my god,” you said as you felt your throat tighten, then covered your face with your eyes. “No, no, no, this can’t be happening again. Not now,” you sniffled, trying to hold back tears.
Emma continued to look down at Joe with you, her eyes twinkling with amusement and her smile coming back once she got a better view of him. "Ohhhh, Y/N," she laughed next to you, her pleasant voice filling the air. She placed her arm around your shoulder, the warmth of her touch comforting and familiar, and gave you a gentle squeeze.
“What?” you asked her, peeking through your hands.
“Look down,” she said, pointing back down to Joe. 
You moved your hands down and slowly turned to your head to look at him and what you saw was completely unexpected. 
Joe was tying his shoes. 
That’s why he was crouched down. 
"He was... he was tying his shoes?" you whispered, feeling your heart start up again and a wave of relief come over you, which swept away the nausea. The sight of him crouched down, looping the laces and tying them into neat bows, reassured you that everything was okay. You have never been happier to see him tying his shoes, doing such a simple and ordinary task. 
“Looks like it,” she laughed, then looked back at you and saw your face relax. “You okay?”.
“I think so,” you breathed out, watching him stand back up and walk around like nothing happened. “I just got scared for a second. That position seemed a little too familiar for my liking,” you nervously laughed. 
“I get it. This stuff has to be stressful for you because of the wrist. It’s normal to get a bit of PTSD,” she said.
“I think I’ll be dead by Week 18 if I keep freaking out over these things,” you joked, placing your hand over your heart. 
Every time he did something different, like flexing his wrist or crouching down weirdly, rubbing a certain part of his body, or sporting a look of discomfort—you were scared shitless. The thought of him getting injured again and having to go through all the pain and suffering was your biggest nightmare. 
End of Flashback 
Then, it was Ja’marr’s situation on the field, a situation that had quickly escalated as everyone was running on pure adrenaline and anger. 
Even Joe, who usually keeps his calm in these scenarios. 
Flashback
“Ja’marr looks pissed, holy shit,” you said as you looked down onto the field and saw him visibly angry at the Refs. 
“Look at Joe trying to swoop in and save his bestie,” Emma laughed as she pointed towards Joe who was running to Ja’marr, then grabbing him to move him away from the Ref. 
“That’s Joe, all right,” you smiled, “Always being Switzerland,”. 
You watched as the situation on the field seemingly fizzled out after that, but then also watched as things quickly heated up again and Ja’marr was going right back in. You leaned forward in your seat, “What the fuck is even happening? Why is he so livid?” you said. 
“I think it might have been related to the play before but I think the fact that the Ref isn’t talking to him is making it worse,” Emma nodded.
“Yeah,” you said quietly, your eyes widening as you watched Joe come back into the situation, this time his entire body language showing that he was not happy. You watched as he pulled Ja’marr away from the Ref and then tried to speak with the Ref himself, only to be interrupted by Ja’marr again.
“Oh my-,” you began to say before your breath hitched in your throat at the sight of Joe roughly pushing Ja’marr away from him. 
"Holy fuck," Emma said in surprise, her eyes widening as she watched the intense scene unfold on the field. Both of you stood there, observing Joe extending an arm to try to keep Ja'marr away, but it was clear that his efforts weren’t working. Joe had to keep pushing Ja'marr back while also giving him a piece of his mind. "Y/N, I've never seen Joe that aggressive before on the field," she pointed out, her voice laced with concern as she continued to watch the tense exchange between the two players.
“Me either. He always keeps his cool, so something bad must have happened for him to get like this,” you agreed, the sight of Joe getting heated on the field both concerning and slightly enticing for you. 
“I didn’t know Joe got rough like that,” Emma laughed, trying to lighten the vibes by teasing you, and oh was it working.
“Very funny, Em,” you said, sending her an intense look and trying to hide your smile even though you were laughing internally at what she was implying. 
“What? I mean, if he’s like that out there I can’t even imagine how he’s like in-,” she started to say before you interrupted her. 
“Emma!” you laughed, your entire body shaking from your reaction. “He’d kill me if he knew we were talking about this,”.
“So that means what I’m saying is true,” she giggled while raising her eyebrow. 
You tried to hide your smile by gently pressing your lips together, but the corners of your mouth gave you away, turning up in a slight but unmistakable grin. Your cheeks, with a rosy, playful blush, gave off warmth, revealing everything without you needing to say a word.
“Daaaaamn, Joe,” she smiled. “Well at least now I know that you have a good sex life,” she winked. 
“Good? It’s fucking phenomenal,” you nonchalantly mumbled which earned a gasp from Emma. 
“Ahhh,” she shrieked, breaking out into a fit of laughter with you. 
Although you were taking a lighthearted approach to the situation, whatever happened on the field didn’t sit well with you. You weren’t sure what was going on with Ja’marr and although you were worried about him, your attention was mostly on Joe. His visible agitation, a stark contrast to his usual composed presence on the field, was concerning. He always kept his cool whenever things went sideways out there because he didn’t like getting worked up. After all, that diverted his focus, but this time it seemed like he lost all of his ability to keep calm–which only meant one thing. 
It was getting to him. This game was getting to him. 
End of Flashback 
As the game went on, he only got more and more frustrated. You could tell he wasn’t happy with his performance and the team’s performance by his body language and the grim yet frustrated look on his face. 
His unhappiness was justified, this game was brutal and although the Bengals had an answer for every play the Chiefs made, there were too many careless mistakes that ended up costing them the game. One thing in particular that you knew Joe would repeatedly think about was his fumble in the 4th quarter which the Chiefs capitalized on and got a free 6 points from. You knew he’d obsess over that play because it was his mistake that cost them the ball and why they got those points. 
If that fumble return didn’t happen, they had a good chance of winning the game, and you knew that thought would haunt Joe for the rest of the night. 
You felt awful about the entire thing, how the team struggled against them, how Joe struggled against them, how their ignorant mistakes that should’ve been cleared up were costing them this important game. 
And just when you thought it couldn’t get any worse, it did. 
Flashback to the last few seconds of the game 
“I just…I can’t believe we lost,” you said as you blankly stared out onto the field, watching as the clock painfully ticked down. “We were so close…he was so close, I..,” you started to get choked up and said, clutching your ‘9’ necklace in the process. “And he looks so..he looks so sad and disappointed,”. 
Joe.
That is literally all you could think about right now. Not the team, not the fans, not the careless mistakes, not the fact that you lost the game by 1 point and a few bullshit referee calls. 
Just Joe. 
“I know, Y/N. I know,” Emma said as she placed a comforting arm around your shoulder and let you lay your head on her shoulder. 
“And Joe’s probably already beating himself up for this and-,” you began to say before you were interrupted by loud, obnoxious yelling again. 
“How does it feel, girls?” the fan laughed as the same group of men from earlier looked up at you and Emma.
“I swear to fucking god,” Emma whispered before speaking up, “Can you all just shut the fuck up for once in your goddamn lives? Leave her alone you miserable freaks,”. 
“Oooo, someone’s getting defensive,” the other drunk laughed. 
“They seem so sad, awww,” the other man mocked in a child-like voice. “That’s what happens when you support the wrong fucking guy, sweetheart,”.
“He was a shitty quarterback, still is a shitty quarterback, and will forever be a shitty quarterback. You got the short end of the stick, babe,” the other man laughed while raising his cup in the air. “It ain’t too late to switch teams…or switch shirts,” he winked.
“Wait a second,” one of the men said while looking down at his phone. “Holy fuck, look at this y’all,” he said to the other men as he turned his phone around.
“That girl up there is Burrow’s girlfriend. Just came up on my feed,” he said as he glanced up at you and showed you the picture of you and Joe from the sidelines at the last home game which made it onto some sports tabloid. 
“No freaking way!” one of the men obnoxiously laughed. “This bitch is his fucking girlfriend? That’s even more embarrassing for her. Supports a shitty ass team with a lackluster quarterback and is dating him? Man, your standards must be low as fuck,”. 
You held your tongue, clenching your fists to stop yourself from defending Joe and yourself. You didn't want to create a scene, but the want to speak up was strong. Your eyes burned with built-up tears and you knew that if you let them fall, you wouldn't be able to stop. “Please stop,” you thought to yourself, your entire body telling you that you needed to be in Joe’s arms. His warmth, his touch, and his words were what you needed right now. 
"Damn, they’ve been together since his days down in Louisiana. That’s like what? 5 years? Damn, he didn't even bother to put a ring on her finger either. So not only is he a bad football player, but he's also proving to be an even worse boyfriend," one man chuckled, shaking his head in disbelief.
“Or maybe it’s because he doesn’t want to put a ring on her finger. He probably knows she’s a gold digger and is only with him for the money and fame. I mean, look at her? She looks like a slut and is practically asking for all eyes to be on her. Attention whore at it’s finest,” he cackled. 
“Or maybe it’s because Burrow wants to keep his options open. He has to be getting models thrown at him left and right, ain’t no way he hasn’t swooped in on one while being with her. He’s definitely keeping his options open until a hot enough chick comes around and he can ditch this girl. And if one doesn’t, he’ll settle for her and have his homemaker around,” one man laughed. 
“Please…stop,” you whispered, your bottom lip trembling from the anxiety that was spreading through your body. 
“Y/N…let’s just go,” Emma whispered in your ear as she noticed the pain in your eyes. 
“Look at her face, I mean she looks fucking embarrassing,” the man snarled, pointing up at you. “You got something to say or are you as incompetent as your little boyfriend?”. 
“Burrow needs to put that trash to the side and date someone more on his level,” another man howled. “If football doesn’t work for him—which it clearly isn’t because he succckkkkssss,” he yelled. “Fucking a supermodel will give him a lengthy life in the public eye at least,”. 
"Sorry babe, this is what happens when you come into the Reedddddd Kingdommm," the other man said with a sly smile, his voice laced with a hint of mischief as he sang that horrid, cheesy, ear-bleed-inducing tune, his words echoing through your mind along with everything else that was said. 
“Don’t say sorry to her? She knew what she walked into when she showed up in that god-awful number, color, and name,” another man laughed, holding his plastic cup of beer in the air.
You thought he was just raising his cup, but you were so wrong. “Go back to Shittcinnati, slut!” he yelled, throwing his cup at the shield of your suite. 
“Oh my fucking god,” Emma yelled as she quickly pulled you back from the window, both of you watching the cup hit the window and the beer splash everywhere against the shield.
"W- what," you stammered, your voice trembling with fear and confusion. You felt your throat tighten again as panic set in, and your stomach churned with unease. The room seemed to spin as you struggled to make sense of the overwhelming emotions washing over you.
“Hell no, we’re leaving now. This is fucking disgusting,” Emma said as she left your side, grabbed your things, and then led you out of the suite. You were so in shock that it felt like your mind had detached from your body and as if you were watching everything happen from a distance, unable to fully process what was going on.
End of flashback 
You were entirely zoned out for at least 10 minutes as Emma led you down the narrow, dimly lit hallway to the locker room area to see Joe.  It was like you were trapped in a dark, windowless room, the air filled with the smell of sweaty players and damp towels. You didn't know where to go, what to do, or what to say. You felt lost, alone, and out of it, as if the world around you had faded. "What the hell just happened?" you asked yourself, getting lost in the endless abyss that was your thoughts to the point where you barely heard Emma tell you she was going to the bathroom. Your brain wasn’t comprehending what had just happened, but your heart was and it hurt. Their comments hurt, the look in their eyes hurt, and you were hurt. 
“Y/N?” a heavy yet gentle voice said which snapped you back to the present. You turned your head and saw Joe walking towards you, your face quickly turning to a livelier, happier expression to hide your true feelings, he didn’t need to see you like this; not now. His feelings were what you needed to focus on, and given the kind of loss they just had, you knew he had a lot of feelings; yours weren’t as important. 
He pulled you into his chest, tucking your head in his neck and he wrapped his arms around you, “I missed you so much,” he smiled, his strained voice and body telling you how tense he was even if he tried to hide it with his smile.
"I missed you too," you mumbled against him, the rise and fall of his breathing providing a sense of comfort as you felt yourself melt away in the safe bubble that his presence always provided you. The warmth of his embrace surrounded you, and for a moment, everything else faded into the background. 
He let go of your waist and moved his hand up to your cheek, pulling you in for a kiss. His warm lips against yours felt like a breath of fresh air, a breath of fresh air he had no idea you desperately needed. Joe immediately sensed the tension in your body as he kissed you. Normally, you melted into him, but this time your posture was rigid, your shoulders stiff, and your movements hesitant. His lips brushed against yours, but he could feel how dry and cracked they were, a telltale sign you’d been anxiously biting at them for hours. Joe knew this habit all too well; it was something you did when you were nervous, anxious, or lost in thought. 
After lingering for a few seconds, he gently pulled back, his brows furrowed with concern. His eyes locked onto yours with an intensity that made it hard to look away. He could see past the surface–the forced calm and the faint smile. There, in the depth of your eyes, he found what you were trying so hard to hide. The pain, the weight of anxiety, the shadows of doubt–he saw it all.
"Something's wrong," he said quietly but firmly, his voice low. He didn’t look away, holding the gaze as if he dared you to deny what he already knew. His hand gently cupped your face, his thumb rubbing your cheek as he waited for you to let him in.
“N- nothing’s wrong,” you said as you gave him a faint smile, your smile and voice not convincing enough. 
“Y/N, I know you. I know you better than you know yourself, remember?” he smiled as he echoed what you said to him last week, “Are you okay?” he asked as he tucked your soft hair behind your ear. 
You stayed quiet for a few seconds, not wanting to burden him with your emotions since you knew he already had enough to deal with on his own. But you knew you had to tell him because you couldn’t deal with this on your own. You needed him.  
“No,” you replied with full honesty, tears pooling in your eyes as you thought about everything that happened again. You stared deeply into his tired blue eyes, noticing that there was something he was hiding from you too. “Are you okay?” you asked him, praying he didn’t brush you off like he did last week. 
“No,” he quickly replied with the same honesty you gave him, his face dropping once he admitted that he wasn’t okay, and you knew exactly why. “But we can talk about that back at home,” he added, a wave of relief washing over you once you heard him say that because that implied he wasn’t going to shut you out again.
“O- okay,” you nodded as you felt him move his hand down to yours, then pull you over to a more secluded area away from the staff, players, and anyone that would overhear anything that was meant to be private. He saw the look in your eyes and that set off a siren in his head, something had happened and you were hiding it from him. 
“Hey, what’s wrong?” Joe asked again softly as he turned to face you, his voice laced with concern. His hand found yours, his fingers gently rubbing circles on the back of your left hand in an absentminded but soothing gesture that he knew would calm you down. “You look shaken up,” he continued, his brow furrowing as his eyes scanned your face for any clue you might give him. “Did something happen that you’re not telling me about?” His voice was gentle, but the worry in his tone was obvious. His thumb traced slow, rhythmic patterns across your knuckles, a silent reassurance that he was here and that he wouldn’t let go until you told him what was weighing on you.
You took a deep breath before looking into his eyes again, seeing that it was just Joe. You could talk to him; you could talk to him about anything because he made it very clear to you that he was always going to be there for you no matter what. He was your safety net, you could fall back and he would catch you every time. 
“Something…something happened up at the suite,” you began to say, Joe’s eyes instantly softening because he knew what you were about to say. His biggest concern, his biggest fear when it came to you and football had come to life. 
You took a deep breath, bracing yourself before beginning to remember everything. The words came out slowly at first, but once you started, it felt like a dam had burst. You told Joe everything–their horrible comments, their slurred insults, the throwing of the drink (which really pissed Joe off), and the crude remarks they’d made about you both. Every vile comment they tossed around about you, about your relationship, seemed to sting more as you repeated them. 
Joe stood silently, his face a mixture of pain and anger, but his hand never left yours. As you spoke, you could feel the tremble in your voice, the knot tightening in your chest as you tried to fight back your tears. It was clear that repeating everything was breaking something inside you. You paused for a moment, your voice cracking as you glanced up at him and tried to read his reaction.
It broke Joe’s heart to see you like this, struggling to hold yourself together. His chest tightened as he watched you fight back tears, trying to stay strong while reliving something that clearly hurt you so deeply. Each word you spoke felt like another blow, not just to him, but to you, and it killed him that he hadn’t been there to protect you from it.
“Y/N…I’m so sorry,” he softly said as he pulled you into his arms, your tears threatening to come out from this and the way he rubbed gentle circles around your back. “I’m so-,” he started to say before he got choked up. “I’m so fucking sorry,” he finished. 
“It’s okay, Joe,” you said, your voice barely above a whisper as you hid your face in his chest. 
“No, it’s not,” he said, his voice laced with anger now that he was realizing what happened. 
The fans. The fans of the sport he plays. They hurt the most important, valuable, and special thing in this world. They hurt you.
Joe could feel the anger boiling under his skin as he fought back the urge to go find these assholes and teach them a few things about what happened when they messed with the love of his life. He was also considering going out and finding the head of security or someone who handled these things and ripping one to them, but once he felt how you were shaking in his arms, he let those thoughts go. He knew you needed him more than you needed to see those assholes’ heads on a platter which is why he kept his anger inside and instead focused on comforting you. 
“I’m gonna see if I can get out of this conference so we can just go home,” Joe said after he pressed a comforting kiss to your head. 
“N- No,” you said as you moved your head from his chest. “I don’t want you to skip out on it because of me,”. 
“But baby-,”.
“Joe, no. Please,” you pleaded as you cupped his cheeks and ran your thumbs along his soft skin. “I’m going to be fine, I promise. You still have a job to do and I don’t want to take you away from that,” you said as you gave him a small smile.
His heart broke as he saw your bloodshot eyes, knowing he was the reason you were in this situation. He felt so guilty, realizing that if it weren’t for his presence in your life those men wouldn’t have said such awful things to you. 
What hurt him even more was knowing he couldn’t be there for you the way you truly needed. He could listen, but it wasn’t enough. He felt helpless, wanting to fix everything but knowing all he could do right now was hold your hand while you tried not to fall apart.
“Are you sure? I don’t fucking care about standing in front of a bunch of reporters who are going to ask me the same exact question 10 different times. I care about you and making sure you’re okay,” he said as he placed his hands on yours and gave them a gentle squeeze before kissing your palm.
You took a deep breath and then looked back into his eyes, seeing deep anger & sadness in them. Although you wanted him to skip and comfort you, you didn’t want to take him away from what he had to do. You never wanted to take him away from football. “Positive. Go do what you have to do, I’m going to be fine. Besides, I should get going for my flight,” you said, trying to give him a reassuring smile.
He took a deep breath as he felt himself being pulled in two different directions. He wanted to stay with you so badly but one, he knew you wouldn’t let him, and two, he wasn’t even sure if he was allowed to skip the conference. He gave himself a mental slap out of guilt for leaving you before giving you a small nod, “Okay,” he said. “I’ll see you in a few hours,” he added as he pulled you back into his embrace. “I love you,” he said as he dropped a kiss on your forehead. 
You pressed a gentle kiss against his neck before tucking your head back into his chest, “I love you too,” you mumbled. The heat of his skin radiated against your cheek, and it only made you feel worse. You knew that the warmth wasn't just physical; it mirrored the anger and frustration building inside him, the emotions he was trying to hold back for you.
“Nothing’s gonna hurt you, baby,” he whispered in your ear before holding you tighter. “Not as long as I’m here,”. 
You took another deep breath as you felt yourself melt away in his arms, wishing for him to never let go because this hug was the only time you felt at ease all day, but you always had the worst luck. 
“I gotta go,” he said softly, pulling away from the hug. The look on your face stopped him for a few seconds–it was a mix of hurt and longing that pulled at his heart. Every instinct in him screamed to pull you back into his arms and never let go, but he forced himself to step away, even though it felt like the hardest thing he’d ever done.
“Okay,” you nodded, looking down at your feet as you took another deep breath and tried to hold back your tears for maybe the 50th time in the past hour.
He used his hand to lift your chin up before cupping your cheek again and pulling you in for another kiss, this one filled with passion & reassurance. As he pulled away, he whispered “Everything’s going to be alright,” against your pink lips. “I promise,”.  
Just before stepping into the conference room, he looked back at you. His heart dropped as he saw you close your eyes and take a deep breath, your hands subtly moving to wipe away the tears you thought you had hidden from him. 
“I hate this fucking city. She doesn’t deserve any of this,” Joe thought to himself as he turned around and walked into the room, the tension in his body palpable as he struggled to keep his cool. 
No one could disrespect you like that and get away with it. Joe wasn’t going to let it happen, even though he knew you didn’t want him to say anything because you wanted to avoid a scene. His protective instinct was stronger than his desire to keep the peace, it was always that way with you.
A half-hour later 
The next half-hour passed by quickly and before you knew it, you were back on the plane and heading home. Joe had chartered you and Emma a private plane for your trip home and at first, you were slightly annoyed by his grandness–telling him that you didn’t need all this and that you were just a girl and could go on a normal flight like everyone else–but now had gained a new-found appreciation because you really didn’t want to be around other people right now. This private flight gave you the quietness you so badly needed, or so you thought. 
You changed into something more comfortable, slipping into one of his sweatshirts that still carried his comforting scent, a comfort that helped calm you for the moment. Emma was curled up in the back, taking a power nap while you scrolled through your phone, watching clips from the game. The familiar sounds and sights provided a distraction, even if just for a little while.
You found yourself laughing at a clip of Joe making a funny face on the sidelines, “His football faces are hysterical,” you mumbled to yourself before you saw a notification pop up on your screen.
It was a text from your sister with a link to a tweet. 
your sister: link 🔗 
your sister: what’s going on??
You raised your eyebrow out of confusion before tapping on the link, your eyes widening as you saw the caption of the video that was tweeted. 
“Click here to see a rare statement made by Joe Burrow regarding his personal life and his girlfriend, Y/N,”. 
“Oh, fuck,” you whispered, feeling your stomach churn. A wave of nausea washed over you, tightening your insides and catching you off guard. 
When you clicked on the video, you felt the wave of sadness come back as you saw Joe standing at the podium. He looked tired and worn out, with his face showing how exhausted and defeated he felt. As you watched him, you felt a sense of worry and concern, realizing the seriousness of the situation. 
"How frustrating is this loss, Joe?" a reporter asked him.
You watched him take a deep breath before answering the question, hesitance clear in his body language. “As frustrating as I’ve had,” his words were weighed down by the burden he carried in his heart. “This one stings a bit, we just couldn’t get it done. Felt good about the game plan, I was seeing it well…uhh..you know, just didn’t do enough to get it done,”. 
You had a single tear running down your cheek, showing that the strong emotions you were trying to hold back were breaking through the wall you built. His words painted a picture of pain, a picture of pain you had never seen. He wasn’t acting like his usual self and you had never seen him so low after a loss, and that’s including the Super Bowl. Was this because of you? Or was this because of the game?
Whatever it was, you could tell he was hurting. He was hurting badly.
“Where do you go from here? 0-2 isn’t unfamiliar territory for you, but where does Joe Burrow go from here? How are you feeling? What is the level of urgency?” another reporter asked him, Joe’s eyes dropping down to the side as he avoided looking into the reporter’s eyes.
“I need to give him a hug,” you thought to yourself as you let out a soft sob. You just wanted to take all of his pain away, he didn’t deserve this. He didn’t deserve to feel like he let anyone down like this loss was all on him. He didn’t deserve to hurt like this. 
“Uhh,” he nervously mumbled. “I still feel good, you know…There’s a lot of work to be done, a lot of things to fix,” he sighed as he looked down for a few seconds. “The urgency is very high. We just need to go out and get a win. We have to do better, I…I have to do better,” he added, his shaky voice breaking your heart. His voice cracked on the last part, a sound you hadn’t heard from him before. It was subtle, but enough to break your heart. The vulnerability was right there just beneath the surface like he was walking on the fine line between keeping it together and falling apart. His eyes shimmered in the bright lights of the room–though no tears fell–and for a second, you thought he might break, but he held it in. 
What you saw was the kind of pain that came from someone who felt like they were carrying the world on their shoulders and didn’t know how much longer they could keep standing.
The clip then cut to the end of his press conference. Usually, he’d glance around the room before saying, “Thanks guys” and walking off the podium, but this time he didn’t exactly do that. He did his normal look around the room, but instead of walking off, he spoke up again. 
“Before I go, I just wanted to say something and I know this is very uncharacteristic of me but this is the only way I could think of getting this across,” he said as he looked around the room for nods of approval, which he got. 
He couldn’t keep it in, he had to say something. 
“I know I usually don’t talk about my private life or my girlfriend, Y/N,” he said as his eyes drooped to the floor but quickly moved back up. “And I do that to protect her and a part of my life that I keep very close to my heart, but silence can only protect things for so long. She’s been to every single one of my games for the past 5 years and not once has she ever felt scared, harassed, and disrespected–but she did tonight and I couldn’t do anything to help her.
So that’s why I need to say this,” he continued, his voice becoming stronger and more determined. “If you have something to say about me, my career, my life–literally anything,” he paused, gripping the podium even tighter as if it were the only thing keeping his emotions in check. “Say it to my face.”
There was fierceness in his tone now, a protective edge that cut through the room. “Y/N didn’t sign up for this life. I did,” he said, his voice stable and full of confidence. His eyes scanned the crowd, daring anyone to say anything to him. 
“The awful things that were said to her this evening are things I would have never thought would be said to her, but here we are,” he sighed. “And I know you all are probably confused as to what I’m talking about, but there are people out there who know exactly what I’m talking about and that’s what matters. In all the years that she’s been with me, not once has she ever been in this position before, and the fact that this happened here? Tonight?” he added while shaking his head, his piercing eyes now filled with fire. 
“She doesn’t deserve to be treated like this just because she supports me. So from now on, if anyone has something to say, leave her out of it. The fans tonight…they should be ashamed of themselves for harassing a girl that they don’t even know. That’s not going to earn you any brownie points with anyone. It’s just downright disgusting, pathetic, and embarrassing. This woman has been by my side through thick and thin, through every single up and down since my first year at LSU. She knows me better than anyone does, and she’s the single most important thing to me—even more important than football. She’s my support system, my best friend, home in human form, my person,” his eyes darken, anger and protectiveness mixing together. 
“Nobody has the right to make her feel unwelcomed because she’s my girlfriend. Nobody has the right to pass any lewd comments about her. Nobody has the right to say anything about our private relationship. If I ever hear anyone say a single thing about her, I’m not going to just brush it off,” he said, his words as sharp as the look in his eyes. “I protect the things I love which means I will protect her no matter what. Call me out, insult me, trash my name all you want. But I draw the line at Y/N. If you have anything to say, say it to my fucking face. Leave her alone,” he said before pausing for a few seconds. He held the silence that followed for a few more seconds, the severity of what he was saying took everyone by surprise because they had never seen Joe like this. The looks on all their faces told him that they heard him loud and clear even though none of this was directed at them. Then, with a last look at the room, he pushes away from the podium, his broad shoulders tense and stiff from anger, and walks off without another word.
“Oh my god,” you sniffled, wiping away the tears that were rapidly sliding down your cheeks. “Oh my god,”.
You couldn’t believe he actually said something, and he said it so publicly. 
Joe was never one to speak so candidly about his personal life, especially when it came to you. He was always careful, intentionally private, keeping the most intimate parts of his world hidden away from the scrutiny of the outside. It wasn’t that he didn’t want people to know how much he cared about you–if anything, it was the opposite. He knew all too well the potential effects of letting everything out in the open; the extreme opinions, the relentless criticism, the intrusion into your lives that could come crashing down if he let his guard down for even a moment.
He always tried to shield you from that. His love wasn’t about grand displays or public statements; it was in the quiet moments, the gentle looks, and the way he held your hand just a little tighter when the world around him was too loud. He kept you out of the spotlight as much as he could, not because he was ashamed, but because he wanted to protect you from the ugly side of his world–the part that didn’t care about your feelings or boundaries. 
But even Joe knew that silence could only go so far. Eventually, its weight would press down, creating a wall between you and the life he lived every day. And tonight, when you felt disrespected and harassed just for being there for him, it broke the carefully kept distance he’d worked so hard to build.
So now that he had actually said something, you couldn’t help but feel a little worried. You were a lowkey kind of girlfriend; the majority of fans knew you were dating Joe but you were never the kind of girlfriend to flaunt that you had the most desired NFL player wrapped around your finger. What he just did…what he just said put the spotlight on you and you were terrified that this would do more harm than good. Especially for him. 
But you knew that this was Joe. 
Your Joe.
You knew how much he tried to keep this part of his life away from the public eye and the fact that he went out and said something was enough to tell you that he wouldn’t let anything hurt you. He wouldn’t ever do anything to hurt you, he meant what he said. 
Nothing was going to hurt you as long as he was with you. 
An hour or so later 
“I’ll see you soon, okay?” Emma said to you as she pulled you in for a hug, swaying you back and forth on the doorstep of your home. 
“Are you sure you can’t stay until tomorrow?” you asked as you pulled away from the hug.
“I wish I could but you know I have that meeting in the morning,” she pouted as she picked up her bag. 
“Right,” you nodded. “Get some sleep on the flight, okay? It’ll be pretty late by the time you get back home and you need to be fresh tomorrow for your big meeting,” you added.
“You need to get some sleep too, Y/N,” she said while patting your back. “I know Joe is only an hour or so behind you, but you should get some sleep. Today was rough,”. 
You wished you could get some sleep, but your mind was moving at the speed of light right now so sleep was completely out of the question. You were wide awake. “I’ll try,” you lied with a faint smile. You knew Joe would be wide awake too, his brain was probably moving faster than the speed of light and you could just picture him staring out of the plane window, jaw clenched and eyes focused as he thought about everything over and over. He’d go through the motions of what went wrong, then run through it again and try to find ways he could’ve fixed it–even though the game was longgggg over.
But that was just Joe. This was a part of his process and there wasn’t much you could do other than be there for him whenever he got out of his head and needed someone to talk to.
“Don’t worry too much,” she added with a sincere smile. “Everything will be fine as long as you have Joe with you,” she said, her words matching exactly what Joe said to you earlier and what he showed during his press conference. 
“Yeah,” you breathed out, “I know,”.
She was right though, it would be fine as long as he was by your side. You needed to keep reminding yourself that he wouldn’t let anything or anyone hurt you. 
After finishing up your conversation with Emma, you walked her to her waiting Uber and exchanged one last goodbye before watching the car pull away. As you came back into the house, you sank down onto a barstool at the kitchen island, your mind swirling with a mix of emotions and thoughts that needed sorting.
You thought that Joe would most likely be in a mood once he got home since he had all the time on the plane to drive himself insane by reliving the game over and over. You hoped his mood would be slightly better than how it was last week after the game, not knowing if you had it in you to deal with everything if he came home with the same mindset and attitude as last week.
Add the fan situation to the mix and then you had the perfect recipe for a ‘stand-off angry Joe’ who would blame himself for absolutely everything and push you away while he self-destructed. You knew he would blame himself for the drunk idiots and their disgusting words towards you even though it was far from his fault, and you knew that it wouldn’t be easy to get him to move past it. You just couldn’t have him shut you out again, you needed him to talk to you more than anything this time. 
You shook your head, “Stop, Y/N. He said he’d talk to me once he got home and he meant that. He knows that he can’t put himself in that situation again and shut himself down. I don’t need to worry,” reminding yourself of what he said to you earlier and the week before. “If he happens to be in a mood then I just need to do something to stop him from being in a mood. He’ll open up to me on his own terms, I can’t push him too hard,” you nodded as you looked up. 
You wanted to talk to him about everything more than anything, wanted to pick at his brain and allow him to open up to you, but you knew better than to push him too hard. He hated being cornered, but you also couldn’t let him hide under his shell. Easing him into it and allowing him to naturally come to you is what you needed him to do. If he came back in a mood, you knew you’d need something to act as a buffer, something to soak up the weight of his emotions before they pulled him back to the edge like last time. You needed to do something to ease his tension while distracting him for a little bit before he started to unpack the weight of his emotions onto you. 
Your eyes moved to the TV, putting on one of his favorite movies would work, right?
“No, he’d just zone out and think about the game,” you whispered to yourself as you slipped off the barstool. 
Your eyes then moved to the couch, cuddling would work, right?
“Mm, Mm,” you shook your head. “Quiet time and cuddling would let the voices in his head get louder,”. 
Your eyes moved toward the kitchen, and suddenly an idea sparked as your eyes landed on the small orange pumpkin decoration you’d placed by the knives–an early start on your fall decorating. A smile tugged at the corners of your lips as the solution hit you. "Pumpkin pie," you whispered to yourself, a grin rising on your face. "Obviously."
Pumpkin Pie was more than just a dessert for Joe; it was more of a feeling of comfort or a reminder that even when everything felt like it was crumbling, there would still be little joys to be found in the little things. You could never get sick of the childlike smile on his adorable face when he gets the first whiff of cinnamon and nutmeg. You wanted to see him that happy all the time, and you were determined to make that happen. 
“Hopefully that’ll work if he comes back acting like The Hulk,” you giggled as you walked into the pantry and started gathering all the ingredients you’d need to make his favorite dessert. This was a great distraction (for the time being) for him because it would let him drift away from football for a little bit. This was a great distraction for him and an even better distraction for you, even if you didn’t want to admit it. Deep down, you were still shaken up over everything that happened at the game, and sitting in this big, empty house with nothing but your thoughts for company? You knew exactly where that would lead. You had just as much of a tendency to spiral as Joe did, maybe even more than him sometimes. 
You might not have realized that by focusing so much on his emotions, you were ignoring your own. You were used to being the calm and steady support for him, but it took a toll on you. Comforting him and worrying about his stress made you bury your own feelings, convincing yourself that they didn't matter as much as his.
By concentrating on him, you could avoid dealing with your own feelings, which is exactly what you’re doing right now. But eventually, everything you were holding back would catch up with you. For now, it was easier to pretend that baking this pie is enough, that it's the solution to both your problems.
The hour passed by pretty quickly as you worked on the Pie for Joe. You found yourself forgetting about the game as you bounced around the kitchen while you made the sweet dessert for him. Baking was often a big stress reliever for you and you always found yourself letting loose while accidentally covering yourself in loads of flour and sugar. You loved to bake and Joe loved to eat what you baked, it was the perfect dynamic. 
You had placed the Pie in the oven not too long ago and were now cleaning up, the TV in the background however had quickly snapped you out of your playful daze. 
The channel on the TV was showing an analysis of the game and your ears couldn’t help but perk up every time they mentioned Joe. They were showing constant replays of all the moments Joe was frustrated during the game, on the field, and on the sidelines. They were talking about how the Bengals should have won this game and how Joe outperformed Patrick. They were saying that this loss would for sure put a dent into the team’s confidence going forward, even going as far as talking about how their playoff odds were rapidly decreasing as well.
“A bunch of fucking idiots,” you mumbled under your breath as you stared up at the TV, your eyes welling with tears yet again without you even realizing it. How could they count them out so early? How could they count out Joe so early?
Then the TV showed a clip from his post-game press conference which really did it for you because you had to hear him mention the events from earlier that you were trying so hard to ignore. 
“It was just not a good day overall for Joe. He didn’t play as well as he usually does, even made some terrible mistakes that were very unlike him to do…and his post-game conference showed a side of him none of us have ever seen. He seems distracted, unlike how he usually is out on the field. Was last year the last time we saw that ‘Elite QB’ that he claims he is? Is there a bigger issue than the team’s unpreparedness that is affecting his game? Is his personal life burdening him and serving as a distraction?” the analyst said. 
You knew how intense his life was, and how demanding football could be. You had always tried to make things easier for him. But what if in trying to be supportive, you were unknowingly adding to the pressure? 
Was his personal life burdening him? Were you burdening him?
“Why does this always have to happen to him?” you sobbed, the words coming out before you could stop them. It was like the emotional dam you had built had just burst and all the feelings you’d held back for hours–maybe even longer–were rushing out. Your floury hands gripped the counter as your tears fell down and mixed with the sprinkled flour all around the marble top. 
You couldn’t keep it in anymore. The pressure, the criticism Joe was under, it was all so suffocating. Every time he had a bad game or a few bad moments, it was like the world turned against him. People couldn’t wait for him to slip up just so they could tear him down. 
“He works s- so hard, they just don’t get it,” you cried as you wiped your eyes with the back of your hand. “He’s trying so hard, they don’t see how much pressure he puts on himself,”. 
But this wasn’t just about him, it was about you too. The pressure you put on yourself for always being the strong one, being strong for him, was suffocating. You were tired of acting like it didn’t hurt; the comments and the criticism not only about him but about you too. 
“Is it my fault? Am I pushing him too much? When I tell him how great he is and remind him of all the amazing shit he’s done, is that making him feel too pressured to be that guy again?” you sniffled. 
You were starting to blame yourself for everything, which is the last thing you should have been doing. This was far from your fault, but your brain was so clouded by negativity and the lingering words of those drunk men for you to be able to think clearly. All you could see was everything you said to him that could have made him lose his focus and cause all this. You couldn’t see that this was all because of everything else around him—the media, the outside noise. 
“And I shouldn’t have told him about what ha- happened at the suite,” you said as your sobs got louder. “He’s not focused because of me. It’s my fault,” you cried, your breaths getting shorter and shorter as your heart started racing. 
Before you think about anything else, you hear the buzzing sound of the garage opening fill your ears. 
Joe was home. 
“Fuck,” you quickly wiped your tears and switched the TV to a different channel before he came in. He didn’t need to see you like this, especially since you thought that him seeing you like this was the root cause of all of this. You were supposed to be strong, so you needed to act like it. His support system crumbling wasn’t what he needed right now because who would be there for him when he needed someone? 
You heard the door open behind you and quickly fixed your face before you turned around to see him, and what you saw broke your heart again. You immediately noticed the bags under his eyes, the defeated look on his face, and his miserable body language. 
You patted your floury hands on your sweatpants before walking over to him, grabbing his wrist, and pulling him in for a tight hug. You felt him relax against you before you placed a hand around the nape of his neck and pushed his head into the crook of your neck. “Hey,” he whispered against you as you started threading your fingers through his hair. 
“Hi,” you whispered as you placed a kiss on his warm cheek, feeling him let out a breath that sounded like he’d been holding it in for a while. 
“I missed you,” he said while slightly shifting his head to look at you, an adorable boyish pout on his face. 
“I know,” you smiled at him while leaning down to press a kiss to his lips. “I missed you too,”. 
He leaned down to your neck, “Was your flight okay?” he asked you as he peppered it with slow, soft kisses, his gentle touches slowly relieving the tension you had inside of you. 
“Yeah,” you lied, not mentioning how most of it was spent thinking about everything he said in his post-game press conference. “Was your flight okay?” you asked him.
“It was alright,” he sighed. “I didn’t get much sleep so I just killed time by staring out the window or reading that book you got me,” he said. 
“Wait, are you tired?” you asked as you let go of him; thinking that he’d be wide awake was a mistake. Why would he be wide awake? He had a rough game and even rougher post-game, he was probably so tired. 
“No, No,” he shook his head, his hands settling on either side of your hips and preventing you from moving too far away from him. “I’m wide awake but I tried to sleep on the plane just to pass the time. Obviously, that didn’t work though,” he softly laughed, his nose wiggling a few seconds later. “What smells good?” he asked, that childlike smile tugging at the corners of his lips as he caught a whiff of the cinnamon and nutmeg. 
You let out a small giggle before leaning up to press another kiss to his lips, “Pumpkin Pie,” you said a few seconds later, now feeling his hands wrap around your torso. 
“For me?” he asked while raising an eyebrow, a playful smirk rising on his lips. His hand slipped under your shirt, the warmth of his hand radiating through your skin and sending waves of comfort throughout your body. It was as if his touch had the power to quiet every worry in your mind and body, grounding you in a way he didn’t even realize. 
You let out a dramatic sigh, “Nah, it’s for my other 6’3 quarterback boyfriend. He should be coming around in a few minutes,” you teased. 
“Ha. Ha,” he laughed monotonously before continuing, “The only 6’3 quarterback boyfriend you need is already here. Thanks, baby,” he smiled a few seconds later as he pulled you even closer and pulled you up for a kiss. This one was a bit spicier than the others as his lips were instantly tugging on your bottom lip while he casually slipped his tongue into your mouth, earning a soft but sultry moan from you. His laugh vibrated through his chest and into the kiss, a shift in his energy fully visible. It was playful but with an edge. 
“Mmm,” you hummed as you placed your hands on his chest and gently pushed him back. “As much as I would love to keep that going, you’ve got a sweet treat to eat,” you winked.
“Oh,” he said while raising his eyebrows. “Okay, let’s go upstairs then,” he smirked while grabbing your hand and jokingly pulling you towards the stairs. 
“Joeee,” you said while pulling him back. “Not that kind of sweet treat,” you added which you received a pouty look from him in return. “...Okaaaaay, maybe later?”. 
Normally he’d respond with another flirty comment but when he stared into your eyes a little more carefully and noticed how red and puffy they were, all playfulness left his body as all he could think about was the fact that you had likely been crying, likely because of him and he knew that. 
“Y/N…” he began to say before you interrupted him. 
“Come sit down, I’ll pull the Pie out and cut you a slice,” you smiled while grabbing his hand and leading him back over to the kitchen island, not giving him a second to say anything. Even when you were clearly upset, you still were only thinking about him. 
“I don’t deserve her,” he thought to himself as he watched you plaster a smile on your face and focus on him and only him. “I don’t deserve her at all. I feel so guilty for everything that happened to her, especially because it’s all my fault, and she’s still only thinking about me? ”. 
You oftentimes did this, focusing on Joe and only him while ignoring everything else around you. He was the center of your universe and everything else around you faded into the background. This habit of yours formed early on in your relationship back at LSU. Then, it was all about supporting him through his tiring practices, stressful exams, and important games. You devoted yourself to making sure he felt loved, understood, and cared for while he tried to make his mark on the field. 
And now, even after all these years, your habit still hasn’t changed.
Joe saw it every time, the way you focused on him, how you gave him every ounce of your attention all the time. He didn’t say much about it, but you knew he noticed. The look in his eyes would always soften, as if he both loved and hated the fact that you put him first. 
It had been like that through the whirlwind of college football, and now in the glimmer of the NFL spotlight. You were always by his side, pouring all of your energy into him and sometimes leaving none for yourself. He knew you like the back of his hand so he could tell when you were giving more than you could handle. He appreciated you so much, you were his anchor but he worried about you–worried that you carried too much of his weight without letting yourself be vulnerable too. 
Even tonight, when you should’ve been taking care of yourself, you were focused on him–it was always him. It had been this way for so long, and while he knew you’d never stop looking out for him, he hoped that you’d let him do the same for you on the same level you did for him. As much as he needed you, he also knew that you needed him just as much, even if you didn’t always admit it. 
“What did I do to deserve you?” he said again, this time out loud as he slipped onto a barstool and rested his chin on his hand. 
“Great question. You must have done some severe manifestation to bag me,” you teased as you spun around to take out a plate from the cabinet. 
Joe let out a soft chuckle, “Severe manifestation, stalking your Insta for about 2 weeks to see if you had a guy already before asking you out, memorizing your class schedule and your favorite lunch spots so I could ‘accidentally’ run into you…it’s all the same,” but stopped once he saw you take only one plate out from the cabinet. “You’re not eating?” he asked with furrowed eyebrows. 
“Not hungry,” you said while flashing him the fakest smile possible as you placed the plate down in front of him before turning around to pull the Pie out of the oven. Who were you kidding? You were so hungry to the point where you could legit eat one of those fake display fruits people put out. The only thing you’d had to eat today was a bottle of orange juice and a few bites of a banana muffin this morning—other than the Vodka Cran you had during the game. You just didn’t think you could stomach anything during or after the game because your stomach was in literal knots. 
You hoped that he didn’t realize you were lying to him but one thing about Joe was that he could always tell when you were lying to him. He paid extra attention to the little things about you–the sudden lightness in your voice, avoiding eye contact with him, and the oh-so-obvious fake smile. He hated when he noticed these signs because that meant you weren’t being truthful with him for whatever reason. 
Without saying a word, he got up from his chair and walked around the island to the kitchen cabinets. You saw him moving out of the corner of your eye just as you were closing the oven and carefully placing the warm pumpkin pie on the counter.
“What?” he asked you, noticing that you were staring at him as he pulled out another plate and set it on the island next to his. 
“Why’d you take out another one?” you asked him before you moved the Pie plate over to the island and set it near the dinner plates. Joe let out a soft laugh, the adorable crinkles in the corner of his eyes popping out as placed a gentle hand on both sides of your shoulders from behind and walked you back over to the island barstools.
“For you, silly,” he chuckled in your ear, then pressed a quick kiss to your cheek before walking back to the kitchen.
“But I’m not hungry,” you said as your eyes followed him around the kitchen, watching him take out a knife and a can of whipped cream from the fridge. 
“Look at who you’re talking to,” he smiled as he began cutting a slice of Pie. I know you like the back of my hand, Y/N. I know you haven’t eaten anything all day because I know you never eat before or during a game because you want to wait so you can eat with me. Also, you feel like if you eat something you’re going to throw it up during halftime because of your nerves,”. 
Your eyes softened as you watched him set a slice on your plate, and then use the whipped cream to add a small heart on top. 
He knew you and your habits all too well. You shouldn’t be surprised though, this was Joe. He noted and noticed everything about you and had been doing it since the day you first met. It first started off as him noting how you liked your morning coffees before classes (so he could show up at your dorm with it and have an excuse to walk you to class) and noticing how you’d start fidgeting with the birthstone ring on your right hand whenever you felt anxious in crowded public settings (parties, at his practices, his games). Whenever he saw you doing that, he made sure to stop whatever he was doing and tend to your needs–doing whatever you needed him to do without questioning it.
Now, it had led to him noting how you liked your morning protein smoothies (so he could make them for you, obviously) before you went in for your morning workout in the gym he had designed for the both of you in your shared home. And then it was noticing all your little habits, such as fidgeting with the birthstone necklace he gave you—which had his birthstone on it—whenever you felt anxious now. 
Reminding yourself of how beautifully things had changed and flourished in your relationship, how Joe so easily flipped your entire world upside down by just looking into your eyes one hot afternoon during a football practice you and your friends stumbled into, always brought a smile to your face. Even in moments when you were far from happy.
That was just the Joe effect.  
You watched as he set a slice on his plate, then added whipped cream to his before placing everything down and joining you on the other side of the island. He sat down on his stool and turned to look at you and saw that you were too far from him, which he wasn’t having for even a second. 
“Mm Mm, too far,” he shook his head as he grabbed the beam of your stool and pulled you over, a small shriek leaving your lips at how he easily pulled you over as if he was pulling a feather over. 
Your knees were pretty much bumping into each other, that’s just how close he pulled you over. It was such a small gesture, but the significance was far more deeper. He wanted you close in every single way possible. 
“My big strong man,” you giggled as you placed a hand on his knee, giving it a soft squeeze and then starting to rub it through his sweatpants’ fabric. He leaned over and started peppering featherlight kisses around your jawline and down to your neck, his lips so soft and plush-like. “But I really don’t think I can stomach the Pie regardless of how good it probably is,” you laughed. 
Joe leaned back to stare into your eyes, the redness in them mocking him and his efforts to make you feel better. It was a reminder of how well you hid your feelings from him, something you both had in common. You both would hide your feelings from each other in order to protect each other. He wanted nothing more than to sweep you up in his arms and take away the hurt that hid behind those beautiful, tear-stained eyes, but this was all he could do for you right now without pushing you too much. 
“Please? For me?” he pouted, sticking his bottom lip out and placing his hand over yours which was rubbing his knee. He cupped your hand and flipped it so he could intertwine your fingers, then picked it up and pressed gentle kisses on the back of your hand while staring into your eyes. Both actions cause a feeling of comforting warmth to fill your stomach. 
You really didn’t feel like eating anything, but you did all this to take his mind off the game and lighten his mood, and not doing what he asked wasn’t going to help at all. The pouty look on his face was your biggest weakness so that wasn’t helping either, you could never say no to that adorable face. “Okayyy,” you giggled, giving in to his ask and then seeing his entire body light up when you grabbed the fork. 
“That’s my girl,” he smiled as his baby blue eyes lit up with a warmth that made your heart skip a beat. He then leaned in and pressed another soft kiss to your cheek, the gentle touch lingering long enough for your belly to flutter. 
He then picked up his fork and dug into the pie, taking a big, generous first bite. His face went from playful to pure bliss at the first taste of the cinnamon and pumpkin. “Oh, babyyyy,” he groaned, closing his eyes for a second as he savored the taste. “This is so fucking good,”. 
“That sounds all too familiar,” you smirked while raising an eyebrow at the sounds and words that left his mouth. 
“Dirty dirty mind,” he shook his head and laughed while chewing on the pie in his mouth. 
You smiled as you watched him take more bites of the pie, feeling a bit better because of his reaction. The tension in your body, for a second, seemed to fizzle out as you watched him enjoy what you did for him. The warmth of the kitchen, smell of the fresh pie, and the soft sounds of the TV in the background made everything feel normal again–like a safe space where you both could just be yourselves. 
He took another bite, his eyes darting over to you as you continued to stare at him with hearteyes, “I’m serious, you’ve outdone yourself,” he said, his voice muffled with a mouthful of pie. “Don’t know what I’d do without you..or this pie,” he winked. 
“I love you,” you blushed as you leaned over and pressed a wet kiss to his cheek.
“I love you more, but,” he said as he swallowed the bite in his mouth, “You’re still not eating,”. 
You looked down and saw the fork in your hand and the untouched pie next to you, realizing you were so caught up in watching him that you hadn’t had any of the pie yourself. 
“Oops,” you said while pursing your lips and staring down at the dessert. 
Joe used his fork and stuck it into your pie, slicing a generous piece out before using his other hand to lift your chin. “Open up,” he said, raising his eyebrows and holding the fork in front of your mouth.
You laughed softly, “Seriously?”. The look in his charming eyes told you that he was 100% serious. 
“Come on, you’ve gotta eat something,” he insisted, his tone a mix of teasing and genuine sincerity. He moved the fork closer, allowing the sweet smell of pumpkin to enter your nose while he rested his other hand on your knee this time, squeezing and rubbing just like you were doing to his knee. 
You rolled your eyes before leaning in and opening your mouth to take a bite, the moment the pie touched your tongue you felt the warmth and sweetness explode in your mouth. Man, were you good at baking. 
Joe attentively watched your reaction as you chewed on the slice of pie, a look of satisfaction on his face as he watched you swallow the bite. “See? Isn’t that good?” he asked. 
You nodded, not being able to hide the smile rising on your face. “Yeah, you were right,” you giggled, the spices lingering on your tongue. “That’s soooooooooo good. But I think it tasted even better because you were feeding me,” you winked.
“Well, there’s more cominggggg,” he grinned as he stuck his fork in your pie again and picked up another bite before bringing it up to your mouth. “Woooosh,” the noise coming from his mouth mimicking a rocket ship as he zig-zagged his hand around. 
You smiled and stared at him for a few seconds, your heart swelling at the look in his eyes. It was a look of comfort, of relaxation. Last week, the look in his eyes was cold, it was tense. But this time, it was just filled with ease and love and it was all because of you. 
“Aaaaah,” you said as you opened your mouth for another bite of the delicious pie being fed to you by your favorite person on the planet. 
After letting him feed you the rest of your pie, he gathered your dirty dishes and brought them over to the sink before coming back to his barstool and sitting down next to you again. He leaned over and captured your lips in a sweet kiss, the taste of pumpkin on both your lips making it even sweeter than usual. 
“Mmm, that tasted good,” you hummed as you playfully bumped his knee with yours. You were expecting a flirtatious response from him, somehow roping in the concept of sex into the conversation because he seemed to be in that mood earlier, but instead, he just stayed quiet while staring down at the counter. 
“Uh, oh,” you thought to yourself, your hips squirming in your seat at the sudden change in the atmosphere. It felt as if the room got darker, maybe even colder–just like the inside of Joe’s brain. You brought your hand up and started rubbing his back, “You okay?” you asked, nervously biting your lip because of the look on his face. 
“Yeah, just thinking,” he sighed, placing his hand on your knee again. 
“Thinking about anything in particular?” you said while giving him a heartfelt smile. 
He took a deep breath before responding, “Talk to her, Joe. Don’t push her away again,” he thought to himself. “…D- do you think we can talk about it? About the game?” he quietly asked you, meeting your eyes a few seconds after saying that. 
Joe tried to forget about it, and he did for about half an hour because of you and the pie you made for him. But he knew better than to keep everything in like that, knowing what would happen if all that stayed inside of him and built up. He refused to go back there, especially after getting a flashback of what that felt like last week. 
The sudden change in his voice, his eyes, and his body language threw you for a loop. You thought this would distract him for a bit longer, but it didn’t.
But wait. Why did you want to distract him for longer? You wanted him to open up to you, confide in you. So why did you want him to not think about the game?
Was it because you were the one who didn’t want to talk about it? You didn’t want to unpack those feelings, not his, but your own?
“No. He needs me right now. I can’t let my feelings get in the way,” you thought to yourself, “Be strong for him, Y/N. Stop being selfish.”
“Y- yeah,” you nodded. “What’s going on in your head?” you asked as you slid your hand up to his hair, threading the strands through your fingers while lightly scratching his scalp. 
“I’m just so frustrated, Y/N,” he sighed. “We were supposed to win, we were going to win,”.
“I know,” you said, letting out a shaky breath as your body braced itself for whatever was about to come out of his mouth.
“And I played like total shit. That fumble just gifted them 6 extra points and if I didn’t lose the ball like a fucking idiot, we would have likely won the game,” he said as his eyes welled with tears. “And we’re right back where we were. 0-2 as fucking usual and it’s my fault,” he sniffled. 
“It’s not your fault, Joey,” you frowned. “The whole team could have done better, especially the defense. You did so good, much better than last week,”.
“Not good enough,” he said, his voice laced with self-criticism. “It wasn’t good enough…I wasn’t good enough. I try so hard, you know? I do everything I’m supposed to, even more, 90% of the time. But things..they..they never go my way,” he added, the crack in his voice breaking your heart for the millionth time today. 
“I know, Joe. Trust me, I know,” you said as you lowered your head to catch his eyes. “But you can’t be this hard on yourself, you know that right?”.
“The flags, the Ja’marr thing, the stupid fucking mistakes. It all just went to shit so fucking fast,” he said as he turned to meet your eyes, ignoring what you said. “And our playoff odds keep decreasing which makes this even worse. If we go 0-3, I don’t think-,”.
“Joe, stop,” you said while moving your hand to cup his cheek. “You’re doing it again,”.
“I just…I can’t help it? I just feel like I let everyone down again,” he started to say and quickly kept going once he saw you start to open your mouth to say something. “And I know. I know what you told me last week, I heard you loud and clear. I thought I could go out and get it done this week and I acted like it too. During practice, in the press conference, over the phone to you, in the locker room to the guys–but once again I fucked up, and look at what happened,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper as you saw his bottom lip start to quiver. “I k- know why we lost but I do- don’t at the same time?” he choked out, a single tear falling from his eye and sliding down his cheek. “I did everything I could and I still feel like I’m letting everyone down,” he repeated, his breaths getting shorter. “Especially you,” he whispered. 
You felt your eyes pool with tears, your emotions threatening to spill out as you stared at him. Seeing him like this, weak and questioning himself, was the one thing that could break you into a thousand pieces. He was so confident and strong in the face of adversity but in these quiet moments, those voices in his head were the loudest and he couldn’t help it. The doubts crept in and he started to undermine his success, and that shattered you. 
Watching him struggle with his confidence cut deeper than any of your own insecurities. You knew how much he gave to football, how much he sacrificed for this, how much he loved what he did. It crushed you to see him struggle like this and for a second think that he was letting anyone down. To you, Joe was more than enough–on and off the field–and seeing him question that was making you feel an unbearable amount of pain. 
“Joe,” you whispered, your voice shaky just like his. “You’re not letting anyone down. Especially me, I swear. You don’t see yourself the way I do,”. 
You saw his glossy eyes soften, searching yours for any sort of comfort and relief but as he gazed into your eyes, you knew he could see the emotions you were holding back. The mix of fear and love, concern and support. His vulnerability mirrored your own, and that made this hurt even more.
“I know you feel like you’ve got the weight of the world on your shoulders and it feels like those shoulders are wobbly right now,” you nodded, feeling the tension–the burden of everything he carries both on and off the field radiate through his eyes. “But I promise you, Joe,” you whispered. “You’re strong enough to handle all of this. Even when it feels like too much, even when you doubt yourself. You’ve shown how strong and capable you are time and time again and everyone knows how talented you are. Don’t let one game define a legendary, history-making career, Joe. Don’t let yourself forget who you are. You have all of this because of your talent, your success, and your abilities. You’re the kid from small-town Athens, the third-stringer from Ohio State, the star quarterback of the LSU Tigers, and the franchise quarterback of the Cincinnati Bengals. But most importantly, you’re one of the best to ever step onto that field and hold onto that football. Don’t forget who that kid is, who that boy is, who that man is, and who that player is. I know it feels like you’ve been hitting wall after wall every season, feeling like you’re losing something each time you get onto the field but everything you lose is a step you take,” you said. “You make mistakes, you learn from them, and you revise and get better each time. That’s what you do, Joe,”. 
“Don’t feel pressured to do everything on your own. You don’t need to blame yourself for the loss, you don’t need to blame yourself for the slow start. You don’t have to do this alone,” you continued, your voice raw but completely reassuring. “Everyone’s here with you, Joe. I’m here with you. We’ll carry the weight together, okay?”.
“No.” he shook his head. “You don’t…you won’t do that,” he said, his voice rougher but still laced with a tone that made you want to never stop crying. “I don’t want you in any situation like that, not after what happened today,”. 
You felt your stomach churn at the mention of today’s events. You really didn’t want to go there, but you knew you had no choice. Majority of the reason Joe was upset was because of what you had to deal with during the game. Yeah, he was frustrated about the loss, but the way you were treated made it so much more worse because that was a direct hit to his heart. “Joe, I-,” you began to say before you heard a soft sob come from in front of you.
“I’m s- so sorry, Y/N,” he said as he looked back into your eyes, his tears now fully streaming down his face. “I’m so fucking sorry that you have to deal with all of my shit. And year by year it just keeps getting worse for you and I can’t do anything to stop it. When I first started off in the league, your only worries were if I was able to go out there and throw the ball and have a chance to show everyone what I was capable of. N- now, you have to constantly worry about my in- injuries and what people say about m- me,” he sobbed, his tears falling faster and his body starting to shake. 
You quickly reached out for him, placing your hand on the back of his neck and pulling him over so that he was laying his head on your chest. “Joe, baby,” you whispered, cradling his head as you tried to keep your tears at bay. 
“Y- you had to pick up so much slack every time I g- got hurt,” he cried into your chest as you threaded your fingers through his hair. “You did so much for me that nobody ever saw, nobody will ever see. And they treat you like that? Because they fucking hate m- me?”.
“Shhh, shhh. It’s okay, Joe,” you calmly said to him as you leaned down to press a kiss to his hair. “I’m fine, I swear,” you sniffled, holding back your tears as best as you could.
“N- no,” he continued, “You’re not. I knew you were crying b- before I got home. It was because of me, right? Because of what I said in the press conference?” he asked, looking up at you through his wet, glossy eyes.
Your eyebrows softened, and before you could even find the right words, your eyes said everything for you.
“I knew it,” he continued as he hid his face in your chest again, your shirt fully soaked from his tears. 
“J- Joe…,” you trembled, taking a deep breath before continuing. “Stay strong, Y/N. He needs his support system right now,” you thought to yourself. “Please stop crying, baby. Please? You don’t need to apologize for a single thing,” you continued with a more stable voice. “I know you’re trying to protect me,”. 
“Yes, I do," Joe choked out. "Because now you have to worry about getting insulted and harassed by random fans who have some vendetta against me, but think it’s okay to take it out on y- you." His voice broke, and you could see the guilt flooding his eyes. "You’re the only person who’s truly stuck by my side through everything. You do so much for me, and you don’t deserve to be treated like that but you are, because of me. You had the most awful things said to you and it was all my fucking fault. It was my fault you were crying. It was my fault you couldn’t enjoy the game. It was my fault that earlier after the game, you felt like you had to hide this from me,".
He took a shaky breath, the weight of his words hitting him harder as he continued. "You can’t even go to a fucking game without getting hurt because of me," his shoulders trembled slightly. "I- I’m always hurting you, aren’t I?" he wept, those last four words coming out in a broken whisper as if they physically pained him to say. His grip on you tightened as if you were the only thing holding him together and preventing him from crumbling into a pile of dust.
Hearing him say those words ripped you apart. He was hurting, and it shattered you to think that he saw himself as the cause of your pain. 
“Joe,” you said as you tightened your embrace around him, “You’re not hurting me,” you added as you gently cupped his face with one hand. “You’re not,”.
“You’ve never hurt me, Joe. Not once,” you said as you wiped away the tears that were freely falling down his face. “What those people say, what they do–it’s not your fault. None of that is in your control and it doesn’t, for a second, change how much I care for you. How much I care for this world you’ve built for us,” you blinked your tears away and added. 
Joe shook his head, refusing to accept your words, but you continued on regardless. “You mean everything to me and I’m not going anywhere, no matter what. You’ve never once hurt me in the 5 years we’ve been together. You’ve never given me a reason to think about running for the hills, never given me a reason to ever think about what my life would be like without you. You’ve showered me with so much love, so much happiness that I never thought was possible. You are perfect, Joe. In every aspect. It’s going to take a lot more than just some idiotic, insecure, flawed football bros to get to me and leave your side. Hell, the entirety of Kansas City isn’t even enough to pull me away from you,” you said as you leaned down and pressed a kiss to his forehead. “Please stop blaming yourself for what other people do. It’s not your fault that the team lost this game and it’s not your fault that some men in this world just have small-dick energy all the time,” the last bit of what you said lighthearted on purpose. 
You notice a small, brief smile begin to form on his face after you finish talking. It was faint, but it was there. Seeing that smile, even just a glimpse of it, filled your chest with relief. Your words had reached him, if only a little. “I love you, Joe. I love you no matter what,” you said while resting your chin on his head and holding him close to your heart as you felt him start to loosen up. 
“I- I love you too,” he whispered against your chest, pushing himself deeper into your embrace and wishing he could just melt into your body and forget about all his worries. 
In that moment, you could feel how much he needed this–how much he needed you. 
Your words and your touch were his anchor, his support. You grounded him when the weight of everything threatened to pull him under and in these quiet moments, that anchor allowed himself to be vulnerable and to lean on you completely. And you were more than willing to hold him up, even if it meant setting your feelings aside. 
You moved your hand to his back, gently rubbing circles around his frame in soothing patterns to ease his discomfort. “I’ve got you,” you whispered softly, feeling his breathing even out second by second. “Nothing’s gonna hurt you, baby,” you whispered before holding him a little tighter. 
An hour later 
You got him to calm down a little, but deep down, you knew this wasn’t something that could be fixed in one conversation. It wasn’t just about losing the game tonight, it was about you. And when it came to you, Joe never played around. This wasn’t going to be an easy thing for him to move past and the look that lingered in his eyes told you that. Honestly, you hadn’t even moved past it yourself. But you didn’t want to unload your feelings onto him, not right now. He needed you to be his rock, his safe place, and you couldn’t let yourself add to the storm swirling in his head.
You brought him upstairs a little after he stopped crying and calmed down. You told him that he needed to shower, not because he stank, but just so he could wash the day off himself. 
While he sat on the bed, you went into the closet and pulled out his favorite pair of sweats, clean boxers, and a comfortable shirt for him and set them inside the bathroom before turning the shower on and setting it to the temperature you knew he loved. You then motioned for him to come inside with a sweet smile on your face. 
“Your shower awaits, my king,” you playfully bowed and said, earning a soft chuckle from him. “Thank god he can still laugh,” you thought to yourself. 
“Thank you,” he rasped with a smile, his voice still scratchy from crying earlier, as he slid off the bed and walked to the bathroom where you were, “My queen,” he added with a soft kiss to your lips. 
After watching him get undressed and slip into the shower, you quietly went back out to grab another shirt to replace the tear-stained one that was clinging to your body. When you stepped back inside, the sound of the water running and the silhouette of Joe moving against the foggy glass filled the space. You walked over to the vanity, setting the shirt down on the counter. For a second, you stood still, gripping the edges of the counter. Your eyes met your own reflection in the mirror and you saw the undeniable tiredness behind them as well as the redness from the tears you shed earlier. Your eyes softened for a second, the urge to start crying coming back but before a tear could fall from your eye, you wiped your eyes, “Hold it together, Y/N,” you whispered to yourself. “He needs you right now,”. 
“Y/N?” a voice from behind you asked. 
You quickly turned around and saw Joe peeking his head out from the shower, his hair soaking wet and water droplets sliding down his body and onto the floor. “Can you come in, please?” he asked with a pout. 
You quietly stared at him for a few seconds before quickly breaking eye contact and flinging your clothes off so you could join him, which resulted in another adorable chuckle from his lips. You needed to wash the day off just as much as he did. 
Once you slipped into the shower with him, the heat of the water instantly embraced you. Before you could fully settle in, Joe pulled you into him, his hands gently gripping your waist as his lips found yours with a frantic intensity. The way his lips were moving against yours was deep, raw, and full of emotion. He needed to feel you, he needed to remind himself that you were still there and that you weren’t going to leave. 
His hand slid up your back, which was now wet as both of you were standing under the rainfall shower head, his gentle fingers tracing shapes around your back as he deepened the kiss. Your arms wrapped around his neck, one hand moving into his wet hair as the other hand rubbed his shoulder. 
His lips didn’t leave yours for a single second as the water poured over both of you. Every inch of your skin was drenched, the droplets sliding down your body, but that didn’t matter. The water was washing away all of the emotions of the day and was leaving you two in your own intimate bubble. However, nothing about what was happening in the shower carried any sexual energy, it was pure love and comfort. You could feel that he needed this more than anything, and you were right there for him. 
His hands continued to roam around your body, slowly but deliberately as he continued to remind himself that you were right there with him. A few seconds later, his lips left yours as he started trailing soft kisses down your wet jawline and neck. Each press of his lips against your skin felt like an apology and a promise all at once–his way of saying that you were his safe space, his sanctuary, and that he was sorry that something came so close to infiltrating his safe space and that he promised it wouldn’t happen again. 
He then moved his forehead to rest against yours, briefly staring into your eyes, before mumbling, “I don’t know what I’d do without you,” while gently squeezing your hips. 
You looked into his tired baby blues before cupping his face with your hands, “It’s a good thing you’ll never have to find out,” you whispered, then leaning forward to capture his lips in the soft kiss again, your noses brushing against each other as you pulled him in closer. 
You felt awful that Joe was feeling like this–mentally, physically, and emotionally exhausted. You wanted nothing more than to kiss his worries away and get rid of all the doubt and the pain by doing such a simple task. He didn’t deserve to feel this pain, this disappointment, this self-doubt. He worked so hard for everything, for football, for you–and seeing his hard work not pay off felt like a constant punch in the gut. Nothing hurts worse than seeing the person you love give their all to something–no matter how draining it was–and for it to rarely give anything back. 
It was even more painful when you saw him cry because of you. The thought of you being a burden, you adding to his stress, was still stuck in your mind. You felt guilty because most of this was your fault. If you weren’t there, then those men wouldn’t have said anything; Joe wouldn’t have a reason to feel this guilty. 
He blamed himself for the entire situation, and you blamed yourself. Except, he was being open about his feelings with you and you weren’t. The roles were reversed from last week. You were shutting him out in order to remain strong for him, and he knew that which made him feel even guiltier. 
“I love you,” he said in between the tender kiss, snapping you out of your daze as his hand cupped your cheek and thumb traced your cheekbone.
“I love you, forever,” you replied, your hand pushing his lips back onto yours. He needed to remind himself that you were still there, but you needed to remind yourself that he was still there too. Even if you didn’t want to admit it to him. 
After helping him shower, you finally got him comfortable in bed. The tiredness on his face was evident, but his mind was clearly still spiraling. It was a long day, emotionally draining for both of you, but you knew he needed rest more than anything right now. 
You slipped into the bed next to him, immediately turning to your side and pulling him into your body. His hands instinctively wrapped around your waist as he laid his cheek against your chest, your hands threading through his damp hair as you pressed light kisses around his face. 
“I’m sorry, Y/N,” he whispered a few quiet minutes later as he looked up at you with his tired eyes. 
“Shh, Joe,” you cooed as you moved his head back to your chest. “It’s okay, you’re okay, I’m right here. Go to sleep, baby,” you added with a kiss to his forehead, your heart breaking at his confession because that meant you were right; he wasn’t over it. 
He gave you a small nod before taking a deep breath, “I love you, Y/N. Thank you for everything you do for me,” he whispered, pressing a few kisses to your chest before fluttering his eyes closed. 
The rest of the hour was spent like this, with Joe wrapped tightly around your body. His head rested against your chest as you contuted to whisper gentle sweet nothings into his ear in hopes of soothing his restless mind. Occasionally, you’d press soft kisses against his forehead, his hair, and his cheek–each kiss adding to the palliative effect. Slowly, the tension was leaving his body and his breathing evened out. Your fingers continued to move in his hair, your nails lightly scratching his scalp which you knew always calmed him down. “I love you,” you repeatedly whispered with a gentle kiss to his temple. “I love you too, like a lot a a lot,” you said, echoing what he often times said to you.
About thirty minutes later, Joe was finally passed out like a baby, his face relaxed and free from worry. You glanced down at him, a soft smile tugging at your lips at the sight of him peacefully asleep and because of the sound of his soft snores.
“Thank god,” you whispered, relief washing over you because you got his brain to turn off for the night.
But unlike Joe’s brain, yours was still moving at the speed of light. Now that everything around you was quiet again, the voices in your head got louder. Normally, you were usually the one who had trouble falling asleep and Joe would be there to help you, but this time it was the opposite. 
You stared up at the ceiling for a few minutes, hoping and wishing that doing this would bore you to sleep somehow, but you were so wrong. 
You let out an exhausted sigh before reaching over and grabbing your phone from the nightstand, making sure to quickly dim the brightness so it wouldn’t wake Joe up. “Looking at old photos always calms me down,” you whispered to yourself as you opened the photos app on your phone, getting ready to do what you did last week after you and Joe’s argument. Looking through old photos, specifically from happy moments, always seemed to calm you down in moments just like these. 
You made an album specifically for photos of you and Joe in your photo app; it was like a little treasure box of memories that always brought a smile to your face. It was also your secret weapon for moments like these–when things got heavy and you needed a reminder of the simple times.
You tapped the randomizer button, your usual go-to when you wanted some nostalgia with a hint of surprise. This button would pull up any photo from any year, any moment, without any warning–which is why it was so special. You never knew what photo you would see, but it was always guaranteed to be a moment worth reliving. 
You tapped the button, this time a photo of the two of you from 2020 popped up on your screen. 
You were in the driver’s seat of the new car Joe had just bought and he was right next to you holding the camera–a pure, deeply in love smile and look on both your faces.
Flashback to 2020
“God, this car is amazing,” you smiled over at Joe as you turned onto the next street in your neighborhood. 
“I know right?” he nodded. “It feels like we’re gliding on the clouds or something, it’s so smooth,”. 
Currently, you two were driving around your new neighborhood that you had just moved into in Cincinnati, a few months post-NFL draft. Joe had recently purchased his first luxury car with his contract money, a beautiful sleek Maybach, and you were spending the evening driving it around and enjoying your quiet time together in your new city. 
Joe drove you around downtown Cincinnati first–both of you making a list of food places you were going to try, parks you were going to visit, and the prime date night spots–and then offered to switch places with you once you got back to the suburbs area. At first, he was going to let you drive around the city instead of him, but you were way too scared that you'd end up hitting something or crashing to let yourself even think about sitting behind the wheel. But, after a half hour of him sweet-talking you and reassuring you everything was going to be alright while driving, you were now in the driver's seat and were whipping the car around like it was no big deal. 
That was the Joe effect. 
"I love dating a rich man," you winked at him, earning an eyebrow raise from him that would send you straight to your knees if you were standing up right now. 
"Well, I love being a rich man who can spoil his sexy girlfriend at any time he feels like," he smirked. 
"Are you sure you don't love being my passenger princess even more?" you giggled as you reached over to turn the air conditioner down when you saw him pull the sleeve of his hoodie down. "You look pretty damn comfy over there," you said while looking down at his feet, which were only covered with his socks as he decided to take his shoes off.
"Oh, baby I am comfy," he groaned. "This seat is like a marshmallow or something," he sighed as he wiggled his shoulders against the seat. 
"I told you," you smiled, hitting the right turn signal as you approached the stop sign. "I just wish we could figure out how to set up the audio system. I'm missing our music right about now and was hoping we could do some car karaoke today," you sighed as you turned right and started going down another street.
"Yeah, I know," Joe sighed next to you, cupping your upper thigh with his hand, prompting you to glance down for a second. "Ah, ah," he shook his head when he noticed you looking down, "Eyes on the road,".
"You better not move that hand any higher, Burrow," you said while giving him a heated look, knowing his hands were dangerously close to a certain spot. 
"I won't, I won't," he nodded with a cheeky smile, knowing the hold he had over you. "But anyway. Since we don't have music to keep ourselves entertained, how about a short, our version, game of 20 questions?".
"Oooo," you said with wide eyes. "I love that idea!” you chirped. “Let’s make it couple themed too, to add to the vibe,”.
“You got it,” he smiled over at you, his heart swelling as he watched you sitting so relaxed next to him, driving your new car, in your new neighborhood, in your new life together. It was silly, but he couldn’t believe it. He couldn’t believe he was getting to do this with you, the one he loved the most. Back at LSU, the thought of this happening was a dream for him even though he was watching it all unfold right under his nose. It didn’t really hit him that you two were doing this–starting the next phase of your lives, the adult phase, the phase where you were together together in every single aspect–until you two had signed the lease for your first home together last month. 
“Okay, the first question for you,” you smiled. “What’s the romantic thing you’ve ever imagined us doing together?”. 
Joe looked ahead on the road as he thought of his answer, but he really didn’t need to think for that long because the answer was so obvious as he’d thought about it about a hundred times every night before going to sleep. “Getting married,” he turned his head and smiled at you. 
Married. 
You felt your stomach do a backflip when those words registered in your head. He’d never said this to you before or ever brought up the idea of getting married, even though it was all you could think about after your first date back at LSU. You thought that it was just your brain getting overexcited at the possibility of your childhood fantasy of marrying Prince Charming coming true–and your first date together solidified that he was the Prince Charming you were waiting for–but you had no idea that he felt the same way. 
“When we’re ready, of course,” he added, snapping you out of your trance. 
You looked over at him, your eyes twinkling with love for him which made his heart skip a beat. “Really?” you breathed out.
“Hell yeah,” he smiled. “You’re my girl, my lady. My one and only. Why would I want to pass up on making an extraordinary woman like you, my wife?” he asked with an adorable smile. There was a certainty in his voice, a certainty that left no room for doubt. Joe had always been sure of you, even when you got in your head and questioned things. The way he said it, with that cute, boyish smile, it was impossible not to feel it too–the deep love and the absolute certainty he had in the two of you.
“I love you,” you pouted, watching him lean in and press a quick kiss to your lips.
“I love you more than anything in the universe,” he winked. 
“Okay, my turn again,” you beamed as you looked back onto the road, Joe nodding beside you and rubbing his thumb across your thigh. “If you could describe our chemistry in a sentence, what would you say?” you asked him. 
Joe’s eyes sparkled with a soft smile as he thought about your question. “I’d say our chemistry is like lightning in a bottle–rare because so many people search for what we have their entire life, unpredictable like anything could happen which keeps us on our toes but also not too unpredictable because we’re lightning in a bottle so it’s contained and secure, and full of energy, but always electric whenever we’re together,”.
“So sweet and poetic,” you smiled as you glanced over at him. “If football ever gets boring, I think you should write a poetry book."
Joe chuckled, his hand still resting on your thigh as he gave it a playful squeeze. “Oh yeah?” he smirked. “Think I’ve got what it takes to be the next great romantic poet?” he winked, clearly amused by the idea, but the way he looked at you–like you were his muse–made it feel like maybe he could.
“Mhm. I think you can write a better Sonnet 18 than Shakespeare did,” you teased. 
“I appreciate the confidence,” he grinned as he moved his hair back with his fingers. “Okay, I have a question for you,”.
“Shoot,” you replied. 
“What’s the most enticing way I can wake you up?” he smirked, the energy in the car going from playful to sensual within 5 seconds of him saying that.
“With your head in between my thighs,” you blushed. “That feeling of your soft scruff rubbing against my skin, your beautiful nose against my clit…Ugh, it’s too perfect. Best way to wake up,”.
“Damn, you didn’t even have to think about that one,” he laughed. 
“Nope. It’s happened all too many times for me to prefer any other way of getting woken up. Except for that one morning, the morning after the date you told me you loved me, when that almost made me miss my psychology exam,” you giggled. “Then I would’ve preferred a coffee to wake me up but every other time, that’s the best way,”. 
“Good to know,” he chuckled. “Okay, next question. If we could have a dance party, just us, what song would you dance with me to?”.
“Teenage Dream, Katy Perry. Duh,” you grinned. “You make me feel like I'm livin' a teenage dream, the way you turn me on, I can't sleep, let's run away, and don't ever look back, don't ever look back,” you sing. 
“My heart stops when you look at me, just one touch now baby I believe, this is real, so take a chance and don't ever look back, don't ever look back,” he sings along with you. 
“Damn, okay Katy,” you giggled, applauding his ability to stay on the pitch and sing with you. 
“Thanks, babe,” he smiled, doing a little bow in his seat. 
“Oo, I have another one. What’s one thing you love about me that you don’t tell me enough?” you asked him with an eager smile. 
“Hmm, that’s a good one,” he said, biting his lip as he thought carefully about what to say. A few seconds later, he looked at you with an almost shy smile. “How strong you are,” he said. “You don’t realize it, but you’re the strongest person I know. You always take care of everyone else–your friends, family, me–without ever asking for anything in return. And you never give yourself enough credit for how much you handle. I don’t tell you that enough, but I see it every day,”. 
“I’m gonna cry,” you pouted, placing your hand on his which was resting on your thigh. “I love love loveee you,” you said as you brought his hand up, intertwined your fingers, and brought it up to your lips for a kiss. 
“I love you,” he smiled, those three words always coming from his lips and never getting old or redundant. Since he said it so often, it was a constant reminder of how deep-rooted his love was for you. He was all in for you, so infatuated with you to the point where being without you caused him physical pain. 
You turned onto the next street–the street where your house was–which signaled the game was coming to an end.  “Since we’re almost home, I take the final question,” Joe smiled as he sat up in his seat and reached down to slip his shoes on. 
“Okay,” you grinned.
“What’s one thing that I could do that would turn you on immedi-,” he began to say but before he could finish answering you interrupted him.
“The eye-brow raise,” you blurted out, a crimson blush rising on your face at the mental image of him doing the one thing that sent you straight to your knees in front of him. 
“Oh?” he said, surprised at your straightforwardness. 
You slowly turned your head to him, your eyes widening when you saw him doing said eyebrow raise at you right now as you turned into the garage of your home. “Joseph Lee!” you shrieked, slapping his thigh gently.
“I mean, we are home now,” he laughed, the smirk on his face screaming trouble. “At least we won’t have to get the car dirty,”. 
You stared at him with your jaw practically on the floor before he laughed again and used his hand to close your jaw. “Just kidding,” he smiled, “Maybe..” he added with a whisper. 
“Mhmmmm,” you squinted your eyes and nodded as you turned off the car. 
“Anywayyy,” he said as he unbuckled his seat belt and turned to you. “You like driving the car?”.
You unbuckled your seatbelt and turned to face him, matching his movements, “I mean Of course, who wouldn’t? It’s a Maybach,” you giggled. 
“Great, it’s your new car,” he grinned. 
Your eyes widened, “What?” you gasped, your voice filled with disbelief. 
He laughed, his smile getting even bigger at your reaction. “Yup, it’s all yours. Figured it was time you had something this valuable to match how valuable you are,”.
You stared at him with a mix of emotions swirling in your body, “You’re kidding right?” you asked, half expecting him to say it was a joke. “I thought this was your car?”.
“Nope. I’m getting a Porche for myself. This one is just for you, a special car for my special girl,” he smiled. 
You blankly stared at him for a few seconds before sliding your Uggs off and hopping over the center console, into Joe’s lap. You couldn’t believe that he just bought this car for you, something so expensive and grand. It was just for you. 
He really loved you more than anything in the world, and everything he did just showed you how all in he was for you. This was another thing added to the list, a very long, lengthy, beautiful list.
You didn't even ask him for anything, he just knew.
“Woahh, hey,” he laughed as his hands instantly went to your waist. 
“I fucking love you,” you grinned as you started attacking his face with kisses. “Like I seriously don’t deserve you at all,”. 
“You deserve everything and more, baby. You deserve the world and I can’t wait to give it to you,” he said to you, the look in his eyes sending chills down your spine. 
“Thank you, Joe. Thank you for all of it,” you smiled before you started peppering kisses around his jawline, feeling his scruff against your lips. 
“No need to thank me. You deserve it for all you do for me,” he smiled. 
“I do need to thank you,” you said as you pulled away from him and looked into his eyes, your eyes now filled with mischief and pure heat. 
He raised his eyebrows at your teasing expression, “Okay if you insist. But how so?”.
You looked him up and down as you licked your lips, an idea sparking inside your head. You leaned forward and placed your lips at his ear, “I think we should christian the new car? For its other use, not just driving. What do you think?” you whispered to him. 
“I think that we should get the car dirty,” he smirked as he moved your head back to his view and started kissing his way down your neck.
“Huh, that’s funny. I was thinking the same thing,” you smirked as you pulled his face back up to yours.
End of Flashback
The photo then changed to another one from 2020. This one specifically was from January 13th, 2020. 
You were in Joe’s apartment, tangled in the sheets of his bed with him, and he was holding the camera in front of you both as you both sported lazy, high-on-the-feeling type smiles on your faces. 
“That was a fun night,” you smiled, immersing yourself in the memory again. 
Flashback to Joe’s apartment – January 13th, 2020
“Fuck, that was good,” Joe breathed out as he fell back against the sheets, turning his head over to look at you to make sure you were alright.
“You have...a lot of energy,” you panted with a satisfied smile as you came down from your high, turning your head to look over at him through his messy hair.
“I feel like I can run a marathon,” he lazily chuckled as he propped himself up on his elbow and looked down at you.
“No running marathons tonight, we’re celebrating,” you winked as you leaned forward to press a kiss to his bicep. 
“That’s okay, I’ll just use my energy on you,” he smirked, “If you can handle it,”.
You let out an offended scoff, “Excuse me? Think I can’t match your stamina?”.
Joe looked around the room, avoiding eye contact with you as a smirk tugged at his lips. You grabbed a pillow from behind you and gently slapped his chest with it, “May I remind you of your birthday last month?” you giggled, reminding him of that very very long night you two spent in his apartment celebrating his birthday, alone. 
“Okay, Okay,” he said, taking back what he said. “Fair point. You can handle it,”. 
“Damn right, I can. I’m a National Champion’s girlfriend now, I can handle anything,” you smiled as you laid back against the sheets again, stretching your arm out to cup his face and rubbing your thumb along his cheek. 
“I’m really glad you didn’t mind celebrating here, just the two of us,” he said a few quiet seconds later as he moved your hand to his mouth and pressed a kiss to your palm. 
“I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else or with anyone else, Joe. You’re all I need,” you said to him as you pulled him down and pressed your soft lips against his. 
“That’s great because,” he said between the kiss, “I really didn’t want to be out there tonight,” he said as he went back to your lips, maneuvering himself in the sheets so he was on top of you again.
The LSU Tigers had just won the National Championship just a few short hours ago at the Mercedes Benz Superdome in New Orleans. The entire city was alive with celebration and excitement, and the team was riding the high of their victory tonight. While most of the players and their partners were hitting up every club and bar on Bourbon Street, you found yourself in a quieter, more intimate setting. 
After wrapping up his media appearances for the night, Joe surprised you. You thought you two would just go with the rest of the team to whichever bar they wanted to raid first but Joe just had a feeling you were slightly opposed to the idea of bar hopping all night because he knew you didn’t really enjoy getting blackout drunk in order to have fun, and he was the same. So instead, he took your hand and led you to the car, alone–just the two of you.
The streets, the media, the entire state was buzzing with thrill and excitement over tonight’s game and Joe’s NFL ready performance, but Joe was only thinking about you. He knew how great the game was, how good he looked, and what this meant for his future as a Pro. But he could care less about all that right now. For him, tonight wasn’t about the parties, the lights, or the drinking–it was about sharing this moment with you. The person who had been with him since the start of his journey down here. 
“My little hermit crab,” you giggled as you pulled away from the kiss. “Even when it’s all about you, you still want to hide away in your shell,”. 
“Well, I’m not alone in my shell,” he pouted, “I have you and that’s all I’ll ever need,”. 
“I love you,” you said as you brushed your nose against his. “And I’m so proud of you,”. 
“Babyyy,” he shyly said while stuffing his face in your neck to hide his rosy cheeks. 
“What?” you said as you looked down at him. “I think I deserve to tell you how proud I am of you an unlimited amount of times tonight,”. 
“You’re gonna get tired of it,” he mumbled against your neck as he was pressing sloppy kisses around the bare skin.
“Oh, I am never getting tired of saying it I’ll have you know that,” you said as you stuffed your hand into his hair and played with his curls. “You always find a way to make me prouder so I’m always going to have something new to be proud of,”. 
“...Keep talking,” he said a few seconds later as he moved his head so that it was laying in your neck.
“Gladly,” you said as you pressed a kiss to his forehead, your voice soft and filled with emotion. “Do you even realize how far you’ve come? You’re not just the guy who won the College Football National Title tonight. You’re that kid from Athens, Ohio who fought his way from being a third-string quarterback–someone who people didn’t believe in, someone who thought his shot might never come as he sat on the bench for every game,”. 
Joe stayed quiet as he listened closely to what you were saying to him. “You broke free from that, baby. You took every challenge, and every setback, and used it as fuel to get here. You didn’t give up when things weren’t going your way, and now look at you? National Champ, Star QB, and a leader of a team that believed in you because you believed in yourself,”. 
“That little boy from Athens has come so far. So far from throwing a football in front of twenty, maybe thirty people at a pee-wee football game, to throwing a football in front of thousands of fans with even millions more watching from TV. You’ve worked so hard for this and I want you to be as proud of yourself as I am of you. Because tonight…you didn’t just with the trophy. You proved to yourself, you proved to everyone, that betting on yourself always works. That you are so much more than everyone gave you credit for. You proved that Joe Burrow is that guy and is going to be that guy for years to come,” you added, feeling him hold onto you a little tighter as you continued talking. 
“You did this, Joe. You did the damn thing you always dreamed of doing as a little boy. And this wasn’t just some lucky break, this was you turning that dream into reality. Every time you threw a football in the park with me when you got here, every practice, every struggle–it brought you here. You didn’t let anyone’s doubts or opinions stop you. This win, this night–it’s everything you’ve worked for, everything you’ve earned. And it’s just the beginning of your story. Who knows where you’re going to end up after the draft, but all I know right now is that you’ve done what you set out to do. Whether it’s to the NFL or wherever life takes you, you’ve shown nothing can hold you back. The sky isn’t the limit, Joe,” you said while feeling him press a kiss to your jaw and then a wet droplet streaming down your neck, likely a tear droplet from his eyes. “Little Joey Burrow from Athens who used to look up at the sky, dreaming of moments like these? He’s made it. He’s touched the sky. And now, nothing is stopping him from reaching even higher than the sky,”. 
“I am eternally proud of you,” you said, ending your sweet speech with another kiss on his forehead.
You hear Joe’s soft sniffles come from under you, “I love you, Y/N. I really fucking love you. I think out of everything that’s happened to me since coming to LSU, including tonight, you’re by far the best thing. I don’t know how I lived my life all those years without you, to be honest. And I know I can’t live the rest without you either,”. 
“Aww, Joey,” you cooed. “I can’t live without you either,” you said as you brought his face back up to yours and mashed your lips against his. “I can’t and I won’t,” you said as you pecked his lips. “Can I go where you go? Can we always be this close, forever and ever?” you asked him, the look in both your eyes answering that question for you both without needing to say anything. 
“You don’t need to ask me, baby. You’re going where I’m going whether you like it or not,” he smiled. “It’s you and me for infinity,”. 
“Good,” you nodded, a warm feeling in your heart as you two lightly touched the topic of your future together. “I’m not letting go of you if you want me t-, ahhh!” you shrieked as Joe grabbed your waist and easily flipped you over so that you were on top of him. 
“What were you saying?” he smirked as his hands gripped your waist with an intensity that matched the look in his eyes. 
“Damn, you’re strong,” you giggled as you leaned forward and moved his hair out of his eyes, your bare breasts dangling in front of his face which was all he could think about now. 
“Damn, you’re sexy,” he groaned as he slid his hands up your bare back, pushing you forward so that he could latch his mouth onto a nipple. 
You fluttered your eyes closed as you felt him swirl his tongue around your sensitive bud, “Ohh, yeah,” you whispered, your hips rocking against his as a jolt of pleasure vibrated through your tired body. 
“Mm, I wanna taste you,” he said as he pressed kisses along your sternum before moving to your other breast. “I think I deserve a sweet treat for winning the Championship,”. 
Joe’s breath hitched as your hands slid up his chest, your fingernails gently scratching his skin, His eyes darkened as they locked on yours, the intensity between you building with each parting second.
“I mean, it’s only fair,” you shrugged playfully, your voice soft but laced with desire. You bit your lip before adding, “But I want to ride you,” meeting his gaze with a look that spoke volumes. There was a fire in your eyes, one he couldn’t resist, one that seemed to pull him in deeper.
He swallowed hard, his body already reacting to the heat between you, completely mesmerized by the way you looked at him. “Damn,” he whispered, his voice raspy as he slid down on the bed and brought you with him. "You always know exactly what to say to drive me crazy,"
“I know,” you winked, “It’s my job,” you added before you felt him grip your waist again, this time feeling him lift you from his hips and onto his chest. 
“You ready?” he asked you, making sure you were alright even though this wasn’t the first time you’d done this before.
“Oh, hell yeah,” you grinned as you spread your legs wider and moved onto his face, lining your slick core with his mouth. 
A few seconds passed by as you got comfortable, his hands tightly gripping your waist and your ass as you let out a few breathy moans at the feeling of his perfect, ski slope nose rubbing against your aching clit. “Joe,” you whimpered. 
He looked up at you and the sight of you biting your bottom lip and holding onto the bedframe was enough to make him cum without you even doing anything to him, he was mesmerized by you. 
He used his tongue to lick a long stripe across your slit before thrusting his tongue into your core, your hips beginning to gently rock back and forth against his face. “Mmm, fuck,” you moaned, a warm feeling fluttering through your belly as you felt yourself getting lost under his touch. 
“Fuck,” he blubbered underneath you, “You taste like heaven,” he said while closing his eyes and gripping you even tighter. The feeling of his scruff against your bare skin was driving you insane. There was legit no better feeling on this planet than feeling his scruff in between your thighs. 
He continued to lap at your folds with his skillful mouth, even looking up at you with his wild eyes a few times and noticing how you threw your head back each time his lips latched onto your clit, even how you fell a little forward when his nose would rub against it. He was as skillful with his mouth as he was with his hands, both always moving with precision and perfection on you. He always knew what to do in order to send you over the edge, he knew your body like it was a road he’d driven down over a thousand times. 
“Joe, fuck…you’re so- you’re so good at t- this,” you moaned, stuffing your hands into his fluffy, disheveled hair as you rocked your hips back and forth a little harder. 
Your grip on his hair was as tight as the grip he had on you, both of you steadying yourselves due to the intensity of the pleasure unfolding between you. “Yeah, just like that,” you whimpered after you felt him move his hand to your wet heat, his thumb grazing over your bundle of nerves as you felt yourself inching closer to your orgasm. 
You tugged on his hair a little harder, this time earning a moan from him that vibrated through your entire body and sent you straight to heaven for a second as your eyes rolled to the back of your head, “Ah,” you whimpered as you felt the band in your belly tighten with each expert flick of his tongue and scratch of his scruff against your core. 
“I’m gonna cum, baby,” you whispered as you closed your eyes, your entire body hotter than the sun with the way his mouth was going unhinged on your soaked core. 
Joe opened his eyes and glanced up at you, a feeling of accomplishment and pride coursing through his veins, and it wasn’t because of winning big tonight. It was because of you. Because he was the only man on this planet to get you like this. 
He latched his mouth onto your clit, flicking the bud with his hot tongue as you felt your high starting to come over you with each nip and suck of his mouth and the feeling of your waist being squeezed by his big hand. 
“Joe…Joe…Joe!” you screamed a few seconds later as you felt your orgasm cut through you, your hands gripping the bed frame so that your tight grip didn’t end up ripping his hair out. “Oh my god, fuck,” you whimpered as you felt your release fall into his hot mouth and his tongue continuing to work you through your high. 
“I love you,” you breathed out a few seconds later once you looked down at him, feeling him smile into your drenched heat as he continued to coax you through your high.
And in that moment, you once again realized that there was no other place you both would rather be right now. You were away from the noise, from the flash of the cameras, from the distractions. This felt like the real celebration. The one that mattered the most. Joe had achieved one of his dreams, and the only thing that made it sweeter was sharing this private, intimate moment with you. 
All the sacrifices, sleepless nights, countless hours of practice–it all led to this. And the one person he wanted to be with, more than anyone else, was you. 
You were both exactly where you needed to be. Together. And that was the real victory.
End of Flashback 
You snapped back to the present when your phone turned off and the light was no longer reflecting onto your face. Your face felt wet, as well as your eyes as you looked down at your phone which had droplets sliding down the screen. You didn’t even realize that while reliving these memories, you started crying. 
You swiped at your face, trying to wipe away the tears as if you could get rid of the feelings that had overwhelmed you. You glanced down at Joe, praying that none of this had woken him up–which thankfully it didn’t. 
“Everything was so simple back then,” you thought to yourself as you felt a few more straggling tears slide down your cheeks. You missed those times, those times when your only concerns were what bag and clothes he was going to bring to his first practice as a Bengal or what team he’d end up going to post Natty win & NFL draft. 
And now? Now there were so many concerns, worries, and thoughts that needed to be sorted. But why? “When did everything get so complicated?” you asked yourself as you glanced back down at him, his puffy eyes still closed and his mouth slightly open as the soft snores continued to come through. “Why did everything get so complicated for him? Why is he in so much pain? He doesn’t deserve this…he works so hard. He does everything he needs to do. He does so much for me and for this life, we built,” you thought to yourself again as you felt your stomach drop.
You wished you could do something to help him, do something to just fix everything that was bothering him. But you couldn’t. 
The only thing you could do was remain strong, remain as his anchor, and prevent him from going under. 
Even if sometimes you felt like you were about to go under yourself. 
You leaned down and pressed a kiss to his forehead before whispering, “I’m so sorry Joe. I wish I could take away your pain, I wish I could make this better. You deserve the world and I’m so sorry that I can’t help you in the way I should be,".
"I’m sorry," you whispered again as you felt another tear slide down your cheek.
–To be Continued–
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