#whatever idk im so tired i just wanna go home honestly

[lovecrazedpup]

i am going to kms

[desafinado]

♡❀˖⁺. welcoming you home

wings on my back if you wanna fly away

°｡⋆ domestic fluff, a bit suggestive, malewife agenda-ish, maybe ooc xiao but this is my hc of him so

°｡⋆ diluc, kaveh, xiao, zhongli x reader (wc: 600)

note: so like i think im hanging out with my supposed crush alone tomorrow, so ig romance gods idk whoever is out there, im offering this for a not too awkward and productive exchange ;-;

running to you the moment he hears the door creak open, diluc doesn’t miss a beat welcoming you home. even after all these years, he never gets tired of showering you with soft kisses; oftentimes he’ll even pick you up and embrace you in his warmth, the faint aroma of wine and birch filling your lungs. “hello, my beloved.” he whispers loud enough for just the both of you to hear. he never feels like he needs to try when he’s around you, and he definitely does not feel the need to hide his abundant adoration for you. 

he knows that his eyes look exceptionally glassy. he knows that knows that you can feel him getting warmer by the second. he knows he looks like nothing but a fool in love, but he’s not afraid to feel such when you’re next to him.

“thank you for coming home to me.” 

“in the kitchen, dear.”

kaveh makes it a point to always welcome you home with a sense of comfort, him being the centerpiece, of course. whether it be cooking you a meal, preparing you a warm bath, offering to massage your shoulders, he does his best in making you forget about the stresses of the day. he loves having these intimate moments with you and only you, pretending as if the universe was made for only the two of you to wholly indulge in.

you leaned against the kitchen door frame, watching his pretty face so focused on whatever he was creating. you can’t stop the amused giggle that slips between your lips; he finally looks up at you with a raised eyebrow.

“mhm. you laugh now, but i’ll be taking my payment later in the form of kisses… and i’ll tell you now it isn’t going to be cheap.”

if we’re being honest, xiao had already checked up on you multiple times throughout the day, watching you from afar, but welcoming you home was still the best part of his day. you’d think he hadn’t seen you in years by the way he clings to you.

“you were gone for far too long.”

he would never admit such a weakness to anyone, but you. he allowed himself your warmth, and you were no better, honestly. none of you would dare be the first to pull away. “i agree, don’t let me leave the bed next time, okay?” his lips curve upwards at your little joke; it’s an offer he’d definitely take you up on if you weren’t careful.

“i know you’re joking, but i seriously just wish i could spend every waking moment with you. i know it’s cheesy, but–”

“but nothing. it’s perfect, xiao. i love you too.”

“welcome home, darling.”

ever the gentleman, zhongli welcomes you home with a kiss to your knuckles, your cheek, and lastly, your lips. he’d like to get straight to the point; that being how much he missed you. you’d think that after all his years on teyvat, he’d get used to the apathy of time, but you’re the exception that proves the rule.

“zhongli… i–” “it’s just you and me, don’t tell me you still get embarrassed?”

his face softened with a kind smile as he took in the image of you; your eyes were looking deep into his, hand squeezing his shoulder a bit too tight, and lips hesitating to move. his fingers stroke your cheek, before he moves to leave another kiss against your lips.

and you can finally ease into his touch, trusting him with whatever’s left of your heart.

“you’re alright, darling, you’re alright. i’ve got you.”

requests are open!! please do not repost on other sites.

[lizthinspo]

i keep thinking to myself just make it to the end of the year and then ur free to do whatever you please but until then we are crying and screaming my lungs out. isn’t it so funny how the only way i can feel ok is through being myself and driving around, bc that’s how i clear my head probably bc i wish there could be a reckless driver in my path that can pls kill me so i don’t ever have to go back home. i can’t go home. it’s like im not even wanted there, i know when im not wanted somewhere. it’s summer, MY summer, im supposed to be living, instead im crying thinking about ending my life, i feel like im losing control. the things that i used to make myself feel ok are being taken away from me daily. i feel like im going insane bc everything i do is somehow wrong or not what was needed of me and it hurts so much bc how else am i supposed to be alive and happy and ok if im not loved by myself and i hate myself inside and outside i feel like im not good enough for anybody, i feel like im the one person ppl always forget abt like when we’re in a public setting and with a bunch of ppl, i feel like im always the one to have been forgotten or left out. its a horrible feeling honestly bc I WAS THERE. i feel like i don’t deserve anything and i really don’t. but since ik these are my last few memories i want to make the most of them but im also scared of my mom and what she’ll say of me when im happy. and yes i smoke and drink and cvt but honestly i love smoking bc it takes away all of my pain and im left feeling nothing, ik it seems crazy but it makes me feel like im going to make it out alive and ok even for a split second but thats why im always smoking. bc you most def don’t help me feeling ok, you’re the reason why i never feel safe nor ok nor alive nor happy. i enjoy drinking bc im not gonna make it to 21 so im just getting to still experience it and also it makes me feel happy and danceful and full of joy but you always seem to take it away from me always and it truly sucks so much because sometimes i do really want to be happy w you bc you’re my mom. and i wanna be good for you but no matter what i do you can never truly appreciate anything i do. that’s why ive given up, bc you’re never gonna open ur eyes and actually see how much im trying. this summer i had so much planned! i was so hyped and excited abt it, you should’ve heard me all of senior year, talking abt how happy i was gonna be bc im free from school and im finally gonna be able to be me. idk what else you want from me, i wanna go out and have sleepovers and have friends and be out w them for hours on end and stay out late. you say i can’t go out bc im drinking but maybe if i went out more often without ur fucking mf bitch phone call on my ass every single minute. i wouldn’t be out drinking and smoking everyday as you probably think i do now bc i could actually experience happiness. and ykw my #1 rule is to never cvt myself for anyone else’s problems but i truly think that this one deserves one bc i think if she takes my car im actually gonna lost and idk what to do. i keep saying and telling myself to keep pushing for jared and jensen and misha but i don’t think i can bc im so tired and over everything i don’t wanna live anymore. i wanna slit my wrists or hang myself to my death bc i cannot bear the thought of you saying that you’re disappointed in me bc that shattered my heart and to just continue to tell me these awful things that i wish i could respond with just fucking kill me already FUCKING KILL ME! i’m sure that’s what she wanted to do either way. she says she’ll be here for whenever you need me but i don’t need you i’m fine without you in fact i’m better off without you. ik that my intentions are good for others not for myself bc everything i’ve heard come from your mouth i believe by the amount of times that you’ve told me the same things so much so that i start to believe it myself and that translates over to me hating myself constantly and not being able to experience having real friends and have a relationship and to just experience any from of love

[yeonjun4beagles]

tw: long rant, mental health issue

today i went out with my mum and my bio dad, cuz he wanted us to accompany him buying stuffs for his new house and otw back home, i cried while driving... cuz honestly i miss the family we used to be, i miss having a father in my everyday life. their divorce when i was 14 broke me, truly. i started having suic*dal thoughts right around that time, my world started crumbling down. there's this hole in my heart that keeps chipping away all the time. i keep trying to find ways to fill that void, whether good ways or even bad ones. i harmed myself, maybe not physically but god, even mentally is just as bad. i keep going in and out of my head, this shit even affected my social life, ive lost contact with so many cuz i cant do shit for a long period of time and i dont like that cuz i love all my friends but god im so messed up. do i sound like i havent moved on? maybe. but does any divorced child ever move on? idk. it hurts. its suffocating. whatever this feeling in my chest is. yes i may smile, i may stand strong but this untold pain inside me still remains. idk if it will ever heal, idk if its ever gonna stop hurting. i dont even wanna tell my friends what i feel anymore cuz its always the same thing. im tired and im pretty sure theyre tired too. its tiring. surviving.

i just. miss feeling whole again.

im sorry to whoever decides to read this, but i just need to let a little of whatever im feeling out.

[twntyfiveotwo]

everyone told me it was just a phase when i told them i missed you

but it's been a year. it's been a whole fking year. i tried so hard to persuade myself that it was only a process of grief - granted, because i know i can't keep you around as a friend when my feelings to you are more than friends. is it really? do grief processes take so long to get over? cause im tired. im tired of missing you, im tired of wanting you back, im tired of wanting to be her. heck, tbh i dont even want to be her lmao. if it wasnt for the fact that she's the one by your side, she's not one of those girls i inspire to be like. honestly, this is not coming from a place of hate because i find her really gorgeous physically, and i am sure she is happy/proud of the person she is. we're just different, and we have different tastes in the things we enjoy or like. that's it. at this point i dont even relate to the song "heather" anymore. i dont want to be fking heather. all i want is to be loved by you. but that is just a want, and santa claus dont exist in real life, am i right.

it's going to be 2024 in a few days. and im done. i dont wanna miss you anymore. im going to push myself into acceptance that this friendship is over whether either of us wants it or not. "i wish nothing changes between us". ha, how selfish of you to ask that from me knowing FULL WELL i've always loved you. or maybe you didnt know because i was jumping in and out of relationships non stop. trying to fill a void inside. but you knew at one point that i did love you, and maybe you didn't love me. or maybe you did but you never had the courage back then. but does the truth matter? no. because whatever the truth was back then, that truth stays there. and the present truth is that we are both in our own long term relationships, we have found our own persons. i wont even doubt, i really think she deserves you much more than me. pft, i dont mean it in the altruistic way because i'm no longer the same person as i was in the past who is always trying to be morally "right". idw to pretend and shower her w praises because i've finally learnt to be honest w myself. i dont give no fks about her. no disrespect but idk her. all i care about is you. and the only reason why i no longer talk to you is because i respect YOUR rs, and i dont want to cause you unnecessary stress.

at the same time, it also took me years to realise i've always loved you. i constantly tried to ignore the tingling feeling in my stomach everytime we met up as friends even when i was attached in the past. i still remember, i got together w my first boyfriend on my bus trip home after you rejected my confession. and then since then, i was just constantly jumping in and out of relationships/situationships. and always talking to you when i get my heart broken, drinking my butt off. where did you even get the patience to deal w my bullshit all the fking time. i got to say hats off to you. ha... but it doesnt matter anymore.

you know what made me realised that i miss you and not the memories we shared? because i actually dont have any vivid memories of us in my head anymore. it's all blurred. i remember crashing your house, i remember us watching a horror movie in the theatres together, i remember you calling me out for being plain stupid. but they're just sweeping memories, i can't remember any specific actions or a specific memory of us. what i do remember, is how safe i feel with you. how gentle you always were with me. how the people around me pointed out that it was the first time they saw me looking happy after my depression. i meant it when i said you felt like home to me. because i cant forget this feeling, and i cant seem to find this feeling w anyone else. but HA darling boy, you're someone else's home now. and i wish you happiness. but i also want you out of my mind. im sick of you creeping into my head when i have nothing to keep me busy. and i mean even on days when im busy and there are pockets of free time you would pop up too. it's draining, it's exhausting, knowing full well you appearing in my mind or my dreams doesn't mean that i get to see you irl. i had this insane thought whereby i would camp at your house void deck to see a hint of you before 2023 ends. but i think i would save myself from the embarrassment of acting like a stalking creepo. i want to let you go, i want to let you out. not for you, but for myself. because this is plain torture. because you living in my head rent free throughout 2023 has been causing me constant pain. im always upset. and ive been hurting innocent people over it. it's not fair for me, it's not fair for them. i want to breathe, i want to sleep at night in peace. i dont want to pray in desperation before my sleep wishing that you would appear in my dream, when there is a lucky girl out there who is sleeping with you right next to her. pls just go, pls be gone. let 2023 mark the end of our long, bittersweet friendship.

thank you for teaching me to never be self-deprecating to myself.

thank you for making me feel loved even if you never really did love me.

thank you for always being there.

"hey now" always sounded so gentle when it came from you, i will be forgetting those words and how they felt for me.

i will stop looking for shadows of you in every song i listen, every game i play or every place i visit.

we had 6 years of memories.... it wont be easy but i will try to not think about you.

you were my finest scenary, my home. but it's time i move on and live a life of my own without your shadow.

i loved you, always did, but i hope not anymore.

i will try to stop loving you from now. may you always stay loved by someone else.

and i know you would continue to stay the happiest, even without me around. because you've got her now.

farewell, always.

[biscuitsngravie]

vent under cut // disability, injury

sometimes i wish i was just born with the disabilities i have now. like, im sure that i was already disabled to an extent (most teenagers don't get sick once a month for a year i dont think) but it's like

when ppl say ur one accident away from houselessness or disability they're right. cause after my first car accident i was mostly "fine" (fine enough to walk home instead of taking the ambulance cause i was scared of the cost). i was lucky that i ended up working from home for that year coincidentally enough. credit score? shot. finances? shot. but i could still "function" mostly.

then there was my second car accident. being the passenger, that quote about passengers getting the bulk of injury? yeah. couldnt walk, couldnt stand, could barely breathe. but i did it. did my at home exercises and learned how to mostly do things again. like yeah my back hurts more often than not, and i cant stand for as long as i used to, and there are these weird pains all over my torso sometimes, but im "fine."

then that fucking ladder months after my second accident. if those two didnt take me out, the ladder sealed the deal. barely able to do anything by lie down and stretch my muscles as needed. constantly on painkillers just to go to exist. and after months of physical therapy (i had to go to myself because it wasn't "far enough" to be covered, which included a minimum of an hour walk and occasionally more) im deemed good enough to go back to work for one hundred percent care. yay me.

im "totally" healed, right? buuuuut i just gotta do these back exercises every day for the rest of my life to stand and oh yeah, im at risk of scoliosis now. im "good as new," right? yeah for sure, i just need to take some form of painkiller on occasion because all the places that "used" to hurt (they never really stopped hurting) will have flair ups and, oh would you look at that, i cant walk today. i cant stand today. i cant breathe today.

im so tired. jobs dont take me seriously cause im not legally registered as disabled. but if i even put on the application or mention that ive at the minimum history of disability, they ask me if i can "handle" the job. they send me emails saying they "filled the position." so since im not "really" disabled they can just basically give me bullshit. and i would register, and i wanna register so bad! i want a prescription for a wheelchair, to get a proper crutch, or crutches when both my knees arent being agreeable. i wanna be able to sit in the fucking disability spot on the bus without people staring at me to get up just because someone with a visible disability came in or an elderly person walked on.

im tired of having to pretend that im not in constant fucking pain because im so young. young people arent disabled. black women arent disabled.

but its also so scary. to prove disability is one of the most frightening and dehumanizing processes ive heard of. even when i was doing the claim after i fell off the fucking ladder did prove to be a hassle. and that was in my favor. the fact that ive been working is definitely not gonna help the situation. "if disabled, why work? 🤔"

theres also the savings cap. i have trips i wanna go to, places i wanna be. having a savings cap on being a recipient of disability is actually asinine. theyre pushing to raise and it and GOD i hope that bill goes through.

they basically fuck you over if you're married so there goes my aspirations of partnering ig. countries that wont let you cause ur disabled. countries that wont let you immigrate because of disability. its all so much.

this is all so fucked and this system is so fucked and its so tiring. i just honestly wish i was just born with whatever i have going on right now so that id know what to do. i just woke up one day and now i have an entire routine just to exist and i just wish it was already part of my life in some way ig. idk.

part of me is so mad. why did i listen to those people pressure me to get a car? why did i have to comment on missing that turn? why did they try to make that turn? why didnt i just, idk, not fall off the ladder hello?? why didnt i just take the medical debt from the hospital? would i be able to walk better or get care or get a case and be approved if i just kept going to the hospital instead of working?

hell, those fuckers at the original emergency room didnt even touch me, saying that i'll "bounce back because [i'm] young." its been a year now. theres not fucking "bouncing back."

i cant fucking walk as well as i used to. i cant stand some days. some days i have to practice how to breathe. i just wish that instead of having repeated trauma i was just born with it or something so that this isnt new. i hope that doesnt come off as ignorant as fuck or rude. idk how else to word it.

i wonder about if i can even take the sports i want to next year. or if i can even work at this new job that wants me to work all these hours a week. idk. working all those hours a week is ridiculous anyway. if the accidents didnt disable me that shit wouldve eventually anyway ig. guess i just got a head start. look at me, an overachiever. i did next week's work, too, teacher.

i feel like if i could get diagnosed or if i got diagnosed as a child that i'd be "legit." that i woudlnt have to "prove" to anyone that im disabled. i hate telling people i hurt and hearing about how much i "dont know about." or hear "wait till ur older." im tired of having to constantly tell ppl that young ppl can hurt, too, just to divulge in my medical history to "prove" that im "actually" disabled. im so tired. i just wanna say my knee hurts and someone passes me an ibuprofen or acetaminophen.

[212-apricity]

Okay I’m finally here! I wanted so badly to read it when you posted but I was so freaking tired I crashed 😭 But I’m here with another rant/essay of thoughts and emotions haha I feel like with every chapter I write more and more 😂

Getting a glimpse into Conrad’s head in any fic itches my brain nicely, idk I just love him?? Anywho, the way you write his like emotions and his anger/frustration? I’m here for it, he deserves to be a little upset instead of just shutting himself down to protect himself 🥺🖤 BUT him tracking Dean down and punching him before the ass can even get a word in?! Yes!! Thank you omg, protector Conrad getting his emotions out AND making sure Dean knows he’s not welcome anymore? no and then he comes home and tucks us in??? After beating a guy up?? God I’m feral for him I need therapy 😂

Him and his moms? (Bc lbr Susannah x Laurel is the real otp here 😭🖤) I tear up every time Susannah’s cancer gets brought up bc of personal stuffs so like Conrad crying on her and letting himself feel bc he didn’t mean to hurt us while his mom was sick?? My eyes were sweating I wanna give him cuddles and back rubs and forehead kisses 🥺😭🖤🖤

Steven would be that person tho “oh don’t worry I watched the cooking channel I can do this!” And then fucks it all to hell 😂 I love him, I feel like Steven and I would be those besties that are complete idiots together because we share half a braincell 😂

And Connie calling us my girl?!?! AND baby?!! That shit gives me butterflies omg 😭😭 im so lonely lmfao ahh the whole living room scene has me in a choke hold I love him, just ahhhhh the domesticity of caring for your lover after he beats someone up for you 🥺🖤

The almost kiss on the beach had me swooning too 😭 Fucking Steven and cockblocking us 😂😂

MATCHING TATTOOS AHHH 😩😩

No but who tf does Thérèse think she is???? “Sorry I stole your bf I was jealous but I ended things with him” like good for you but stay away lmao like that trust would be so damaged!!! Thérèse and Dean really do deserve each other 😤😤

Okay but us hitting Dean? And just being a feral cat about him not shutting up? Yes please?! Couples who beat shitty exes up together are top tier 😂 (I know we’re not a couple yet but in my heart Conrad’s already my husband 😂🖤) AND AGAIN the of checking over each others wounds?!!! I love them, your honor. 🖤🖤

Okay but Connie immediately wanting to take off and beat the shit out of Dean, while the love of his life’s injured??? But his tunnel vision is just like “gotta kill this guy”?? Like you idiot I don’t want Jere to take me to the hospital I want the person that makes me feel safe there 😭😭😭

Overall I love how theres a bunch of little moments showing how we love each other but it doesn’t feel forced or too fast? Like obviously Conrad and her just wanna kiss (damn you Steven) but also they’re comfortable just existing together too because they both know they care?? Does that make sense? Is that even what you were going for? Idk but that’s how I’m feeling it rn, maybe it’s just my craving for love that’s reading in too deep 😂😂

AHHH 😭 Anyway thank you again for another glorious chapter, I love it, I adore you, and I’m so so excited for more! I can’t wait to see the moms reactions to their tattoos (and for getting into a fight and getting injured 💀😂) and just for more shenanigans in general with everyone 🖤🖤😭

oh. my gosh. STOP I LOVE THESE COMMENT THINGYS SM THEYRE SO FUN.

ok so i totally agree, dean is a RAT he deserves whatever happens to him ik i wrote the damn thing but i stand w it🤷🏽‍♀️🤷🏽‍♀️

no but fr someone needed to humble dean and thérèse both like they’re so annoying. i didn’t want thérèse to have a giant monologue just explaining why she did what she did bc honestly people like that don’t rly say all that much irl, they’re just looking for ways to get back in ur life and mess it up again tbh and she was just annoying too like

and i mean i didn’t wanna say it myself but yes the main characters here ARE susannah and laurel, glad we cleared that up. they’re literally so cutesy and wonderful i love them sm

STEVENS SO FUNNY STOP- hes literally hilarious i love him sm

no honestly i love the living room scene too it’s so cutesy and domestic i thought those two needed a tiny little cute relaxed moment before it all went down tbh💀💀

and i agree, if someone called me baby??????????

🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️

that’s all i have to say. next question.

no everytime i write an almost kiss im literally on the edge of my seat as well like should i make them kiss or should i wait🤨🤨

REAL. we’re not officially w conrad yet but we bascially are married w two dogs and an adopted son (steven) so we don’t even need to go through the formalities anymore

no fr like ily conrad but now is not the time, you better get in that car and drive to the hospital.

YESS IT DOES MAKE SENSE IM SO GLAD YOU NOTICED!!!! i didn’t want to make this one too like fast paced or too like oh everyone gets what they want happily ever after like i feel like you don’t need to be constantly making out or talking w someone you care about, even just spending some time w them is more than enough like just having these tiny cute little moments is so lovely

YESS IM SO EXICTED TO WRITE MORE ON THIS ONE sadly i don’t think i can post another part until like friday night / the weekend bc schooo started again today (kms) and it’s gcse year (double kms) but im so happy you like it, i love love love these conment things so much you have no idea🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽

[sexybabystevie]

no really. someone tell me why i'm at college

[kimmkitsuragi]

the fact that i literally stopped caring about exams while also stressing about them yess academic queen

[elysianslove]

ay yo? lmao haiiiii any chance we can get some haikyuu boys and nicknames they'd call their s/o? a lil deprived of kageyama, so if possible can you pls include him?? i hope you're doing well :)

omg wait i remember seeing this in my inbox and planning on answering it but i ,,, i forgot :( im sorry :( but here it is lovely <3 

HAIKYUU BOYS AND NICKNAMES 

ANGEL ! — 

akaashi; out of all his nicknames for you, this is his favorite!! he just thinks it’s very fitting for you, because you’re nothing short of ethereal for him. loves to say it when he’s first greeting you or as he kisses you gn or!!! when he says thank you :) 

osamu; it slips sometimes with him!! not his go-to but it’s very familiar on his tongue when it comes to you, and that’s very endearing :,) just slips casually when he’s asking you a question like, “angel, do we need milk?”  

daichi; omg he usually adds to it and it ends up being some cheesy stuff like “angel-face” and it makes you all flustered because wtf man :( and he always says it while laughing teasingly too ugh :( 

suna; suna has the cheesiest nicknames for you and you cannot convince me otherwise, and you can never tell if it’s genuine or ironic but,,, it doesn’t matter. he sounds so sweet calling you “angel” so whatever :) 

aran; this man. this man. he says it cause he knows it has you weak. he says it so lovingly, so sweetly, so casually, so suave and relaxed and his voice is so smooth and deep. who wouldn’t be swooning over him??? 

aone; AONE AONE PLS AONE PLEASE. he’d just think it’s such a sweet and kind and soft nickname and he likes the way it sounds when it’s whispered and he thinks nothing is more perfect than nicknaming you angel and he says it all the time like “ok, angel,” and “see you tomorrow, angel,” and, “love you, angel,” and it’s so quiet but so sweet hwbwjsjd 

oikawa; he’s about to be in 90% of these cause he’ll be calling you anything but your name. is it because he wants to be annoying and to get on your nerves? or is it because he genuinely means it? the world will never know. you’re not even sure he himself does. 

DOLL ! — 

matsukawa; are you kidding me this is his. it’s HIS. he sounds so hot saying it and he looks so hot saying it and he’s so charming and it’s so like easy on his tongue. and he has a slight drawl to it too and he always says it with this aura of relaxation and ease it’s so hot. he just. he loves it. he loves you. you love it. the world is a better place. 

atsumu; he thinks he’s way cooler than he is when he says it. you suppose he is pretty hot when he calls you doll but you’re not gonna tell him that!!! it’s not his go-to but you can catch it slipping off his tongue every once in a while. 

kuroo; yesyesyes he loves it. only ever says it when he’s so up close and personal with you like cups your cheeks and hovers his lips against yours like, “heya, doll,” and he’s just so handsome. ugh. 

kageyama; at the start of your relationship, kageyama called you by your name and nothing else!! but then he had like this talk w someone and they asked him what he calls you and he realized like,,, am i supposed to be doing it differently??? spent so long just searching up “cute nicknames for my s/o” and then he found “doll” and was like ok. i’ll try. and he tried!! and it stuck!! plus timeskip kags calling you doll??? that’s so hot bye

oikawa; this might be the only sincere nickname he has for you cause everything else is either to provoke you or to be cringy and annoying. and i’m sure you prefer doll over sweet cheeks and pumpkin pie and cinnamon whatever like you hungry tōru?? anyways he loves loves loves calling you doll cause he thinks it’s such a ? smooth and serene nickname? and his voice always gets deeper and quiet when he says it so!!!! 

SUNSHINE ! — 

hinata; please he is all the sunshine, but he always claims that you’re the true sun in his life. idk hinata would be so lame yet so cute like that :( and he always says it with such a big grin he’s so cute pls :( 

tendō; he’s so cute he’s so cute he’s so cute !!!!! your contact name is “my sunshine” definitely definitely definitely. he is literally in love with you and wants the whole world to know it. he loves screaming it out for everyone to hear but also absolutely adores like hugging you from behind and whispering in your ear as he kisses your cheek, “hey, sunshine.” :(((((

kenma; kenma doesn’t wanna think too hard on the whole nicknames thing but he also does kind of sort of really wants to call you something special and the first thing that pops in his head is sunshine. first time he used it you were Shocked but he was acting nonchalant about it (read: freaking out on the inside) and you were like “ok guess im sunshine now.” and you are his sunshine to this day. 

BABY/BABE ! — 

atsumu; it’s easy and it’s endearing!! he personally loves being called babe but he loves hugging you close to him after a long day and just sighing, “hey, baby,” like. he loves it okay. he thinks it’s perfect cause it fits and cause it’s like kinda traditional yk!! 

bokuto; he loves calling you baby cause he just cannot fathom that you’re his like he loves to always say it!!! and he loves how casual it is too like he can just call you that?? that’s so cool?? 

iwaizumi; again with the traditional but endearing and fitting. he doesn’t have to think too hard on it, but also it still means something and is more than just your name or a shorter version of it. also he sounds so hot calling you baby or babe idk i just know it. 

hanamaki; king of “babe! babe :( babeeee! babee. babe come on! babe! baby :(” you’re 99% sure he’s just provoking you at this point. like say babe one more time. but he actually loves resorting to baby, especially when you’re upset and he wants to be as endearing and kind as he can to you. 

daichi; very traditional too tbh. honestly when you two first started dating it was all he could think of saying without feeling awkward or feeling like he was trying too hard. later on when he started to feel more comfortable and more secure he got more creative. 

nishinoya; he has been waiting for this moment his whole life. the moment he can actually call someone his baby or babe. it’s his favorite and possibly only nickname (aside calling you pretty or gorgeous or handsome) and it will always be. 

MY LOVE ! —

akaashi; definitely definitely definitely calls you “my love” like i am 100% sure of this. akaashi is just so. he’s just so romantic but it’s also so unintentional? he says it because it feels natural and it feels right like you are his love after all, aren’t you? 

sakusa; he’s not one for elaborate nicknames honestly, and he feels like “my love” is the right balance of sweet, kind, fitting, and subtle and serene. it’s not doing too much but it’s also doing more than enough yk? also people that look like they would wear a trench coat/blazer and a turtleneck beneath also look like they would use the term “my love” hence sakusa and akaashi. 

tendō; i am telling you guys he is a simp. the loveliest simp ever. he says it so sweetly too like it genuinely makes your tummy twist and heart backflip when you hear him say it cause you can hear how genuine he is in his words oh my god. 

kita; he just !!! he is just husband material okay!!! he is so endearing and he says it in the softest most genuine voice ever and it’s literally his go to because yes you are his love you’re his entire world!!! he loves you!! he wants you to know it every time he calls out to you!! 

BUNNY/PUPPY ! —

bokuto; ARE YOU KIDDING ME. HE LOVES IT. he. loves it. he just finds it so cute and like. he loves the way he associates it with you now. prefers puppy over bunny but like. he loves both. he adores both. 

matsukawa; calls you bunny all the time. not more than doll, but it’s definitely so common. he won’t use it around others not because it’s embarrassing but more because he kinda wants it to be just a thing between the two of you, honestly. 

kenma; IT SLIPPED ONCE AND HE WAS LIKE. A DEER CAUGHT IN THE HEADLIGHTS. he calls you bunny!! sometimes, not always. when he wants something from you mostly. “pass me the water.” “no.” “bunny please :(” it works like magic every time. 

oikawa; oh my god can you imagine??? he loves it so much because one, he thinks it’s such a cute nickname props to whoever decided let’s use pets as literal pet names, but also two, he thinks nothing describes you or fits you better. you are just his bunny :( his puppy :( he loves you :( 

kageyama; timeskip kageyama calls you puppy. i have nothing more to say.

hinata; timeskip hinata calls you puppy. again, i shall say no more. 

suna; hello !!! he loves to call you bunny and/or puppy. the feel of satisfaction he gets when he calls you that like ,,, he feels like you’re properly his yk? yk.

KITTEN ! — 

kuroo; this one is for him and only him. 

LOVELY ! — (maybe sweetheart too) 

osamu; is there anything more beautiful than a tired osamu snuggling up to yoi and with a deep gravely voice saying, “missed you, lovely,” ? no there is not. it’s his favorite nickname for you, and he uses it all the time!! kisses your forehead as he leaves and tells you, “have a good day, lovely,” and comes back home and says, “hiya, lovely,” and tilts his head when you wanna talk to him about something like, “what’s up lovely?” cause you are his lovely, you’re his loveliest. 

sugawara; i have no other explanation other than i can picture it perfectly. he thinks it’s the best choice of a pet name he’s ever chosen and thought of. and he loves the smile on your face whenever he says it, he thinks it’s the sweetest thing ever <3 

BAE ! —

hanamaki; is it a joke? is it not? both. 

okay im sure i missed so many boys but i can’t think of any rn bc it’s like. hella late :( but i wanted to put something out for you guys!! point is, if i didnt mention a boy and you want to know, send me an ask!! and if i didn’t mention a nickname and you want to know that too? send me an ask well!! ill be happy to answer it <3 

love u all mwah <3 

[izepeche]

I am new to the strange obsession, but oh my gosh your works are amazing. I just want sinister strange to do whatever he wants and for me to say thanks afterwards.

I dunno what to say omg thank you thank you thank you love 🥺✨ im honestly surprised ppl still show up on my blog lol

I have so many things I wanna do but with my condition i can’t do much but i should be fully cleared to go home by tuesday ✨

but i agree. i was never really into Strange until this movie. i mean i love his design and ive drawn him many times before but idk he just didnt speak to me before now.

i have the filthiest shit to write and draw i am so vile and feral because of it but so is he. they knew exactly what they were doing when then designed him omfg. i have a HC that he’s really into bondage (including self bondage) and its killing me. its killing me that i cant write it all rn.

you did not ask for this, so i apologize in advance. but ive had this little thing rolling in my head so -

Sinister seems like he used to be a professor and its driving me crazy thinking about him in a AU being the low toned sort of teacher who everyone respects. never raises his voice (and doesnt have to) to get his pupils to behave because he’s also silently terrifying. you can hear a pin drop in his class, even when its a study period and he’s sipping his coffee and reading a book. could probably make a student cry without even trying, without even looking at them (tho he will glance to see the tears) and would secretly enjoy it because he’s a bloody bastard. takes no shit and is clearly passionate about teaching and I just wanna see him in glasses and at a desk fiddling with papers? like look-

In this Professor Sinister! AU id say he definitely smells like dark roast coffee and old books. wears a sort of musky, old timey smelling cologne with spicy citrus notes. keeps to himself, doesn’t really interact with the other professors, but may strike up a short conversation with maintenance or the cleaning staff in the evening. even though he’s a strict man he sports a more casual appearance than one would think. im thinking just regular slacks n shoes, rolled up sleeves to his forearms, usually wears a black turtleneck or dark button down shirt with a few too many buttons open if the AC is busted (again), thick salt and pepper hair slightly tussled as its been run through by his fingers because these fucking kids can’t even double space their essays how did they pass high-school.

crystal eyes lingering a bit too long on an unsuspecting pupil who is always well behaved and attentive. openly teases them to the point of hot embarrassment when they ask to be excused to the restroom, even though they asked so nicely and they really have to go. but ,” ah, ah, not until i say so.” “you know you just went 10 minutes ago” “you took too long last time”

purposefully writes comments on their papers ‘see me after class’, even if its the most well-written dissertation he’s read all year. he’s rather knowledgeable and will always find something to offer correction on. as ‘punishment’, he tells them to help him prepare for the next class by writing what he tells them on the chalkboard. this is when his usual low key tone, shifts to something else.

The professor not so subtly stares at them, scrutinizing their handwriting and how their dainty wrists move under his command. no, Professor Strange definitely does not get off to how they struggle when he asks them to write higher, up on their tip toes and a bit wobbly. he’ll make them erase a whole line if they make a single mistake in their penmanship (which is easy because of how tired and cramped they are getting). he’ll cruelly mock them, “are you getting distracted?” “we can try something easier if this is too hard for you” “why are you stopping, you’re not finished yet” “i mean, Jesus, it looks awful. but i guess if that’s the best you can do-“

and if he’s feeling particularly snippy he’ll snap a ruler on his desk to startle them, possibly messing them up further, barely bothering to stop the smile dancing on his lips. he still throws in a smart ‘thank you’ when theyre done that definitely doesn’t make up for his brash behavior. its hard to tell if his harsh interactions are serious or a ploy of flirtation, but its intense enough to get under the skin every time that they are completely flustered when they gather their things to leave his room.

its wrong to be tormenting his own innocent pupil like this- many would say the poor thing doesn’t deserve it and the professor's intentions aren’t noble. but its not wrong if they keep coming back, right? not that he gives a damn, nor gives them much of a choice; he’s not exactly a model on morality. besides, a man can have a little fun, no?

i just- love him. i love him i love him

as soon as i saw him i knew it was curtains for me. he is utter perfection because sinister is just so fucking broken and deliciously unhinged and loosely disguised as a quiet gentleman. i love the fact he’s self aware enough to know he’s a filthy bastard but he just. doesnt. care. and like great! neither do i sweetheart. id beg this man to break me, and like please sir call me all the names.

[theworldofotps]

Letter From The Road

AEW Superstar: Adam Cole Word Count: 430 ~A series in which I write letters from superstars to their partner or friend back home while they’re on tour.~

Sorry for such a long wait, I hope you enjoy this @biforrollynch thanks for being such a doll with waiting I appreciate it more then I can express.🧡 ________ Tag list:

@hungmanhorsecarriage @writtingrose @omg-im-such-a-masochist @sassymox @new-zealand-chic @xladyxfatex @mrsacklesevansmgk @sjwrites22 @biforrollynch @irish-newzealand-idian-dutch @demonqueen29 @itsicantbelievethis666 @lilred91 @xbreezymeadowsx @rebellious-desires @thiccc-rider-mcintyre @melblacc @letsgivethisonemoreshot @alination @ava-valerie @thatnerdwriter @thatpanpal @shortyiceheart @serpantscorpio8497 @wrestlersownmyheart @vebner37

AEW tag: @wheelergrealish (idk what your new tag is) If you wanna be added to the list lemme know. ________ Hey baby, Just finished our show in Kentucky, we’ll be leaving for Iowa in the morning. This tour has been a lot of fun so far. But I think I may have twisted my ankle. I’m going to get that checked out tomorrow. Not exactly sure of the precise moment that it got messed up. But it was definitely throbbing by the end of the match I had against Christian.

Part of me really hopes it’s not twisted so I can finish out this tour. But I wouldn’t mind a few days at home with you while I recover. I really miss you baby, it sucks not getting to wake up to you every morning. I’m tired of listening to Kenny sing to wake me up. Don’t get me wrong I love the guy but I just want to sleep in the rare chance I get.

How are things going for you? I know you said you were going to be busy this week or something I think? I honestly can’t remember I have once too many things occupying my brain. But I do want to tell you that I hope whatever it is, everything goes well for you and that you don’t forget I���m always rooting for you.

I wanna talk to you about something when I get home. And since I know you’re gonna stress the whole time it’s nothing bad I’m just a little nervous to hear your response. This time apart as made me realize just how much I hate that we live in separate houses. Especially considering I’m gone with wrestling and such. I’ll just leave it there. I'm sure you could probably guess what I want to talk about. 

Anyway, I hope that this time flies by. I’m so excited to have two whole weeks to spend with you doing whatever we want. I can’t remember the last time we had two weeks off together. Like both of us at the same time. I’m thankful that your boss was willing to let you take your vacation time now. Fourteen days is a long time to get a lot done.

Maybe could even tackle some of those crafts or whatever that you’re always talking about wanting to do. There’s a lot of kisses and cuddles to make up for. Along with a little pillow talk and fun in the sheets. ;) But enough of my rambling on I’m gonna get ready to sleep and I’ll give you a call before bed. Maybe we can have a little fun then.                             I love you baybay forever.                                        Adam

[plxnetyasaii]

oh love you messed up...

warnings: some cussing, weapons involved,reader plot twist that might be disturbing for some, nothing really major

You were waiting outside the restaurant you were standing with some coworkers but they all went home already

And you let out a sigh of relief and annoyance when you saw you boyfriends car pull up

The window Rolled down and you seen him you walked up to the window bent down and peeked in

“Sorry im late…I had to drop off Mikey…” he said avoiding your burning gaze

“Bi- *sigh* lie again and Ill dump your WHOLE supply” you said clearly mad

“Whoa…okay okay sorry…”he said still not daring to make eye contact

“Lemme guess..you took a pill, fell asleep and completely forgot to come pick me up on time”you say a little calmed down

“Im sorry ill make it up to you..promise”he says with an apologetic look

“Ugh fine”you say getting in the car

And y’all drive away to the house you guys shared honestly it was so big you might as well call it a mansion

As the car comes to a stop in front of the house

You move to get out and open the door but it opens before you could even touch the handle

“Wha-“

“I said ill make it up to you”

“I don’t even know how you got out the properly while high”

“Wanna go inside or not?” He says gripping your chin in his index finger and thumb tilting you head to meet his eyes

“Yea whatever” you say slapping his hand away rolling your eyes

You get out and are walking up the stairs with him right behind you

You get up the stairs walking to the front door

You pull out your key unlocking the door and you can feel him staring at your ass

As soon as you walk in and take your shoes off he does the same

Then he picks you up your arms and legs automatically rap around him

And he kisses you while gripping your ass “tonight’s all ‘bout you I swear”

“But im tired” you said yawning

“Lets pop 1 or 2 and watch a movie then, hm?” He says giving you a kiss of the forehead carrying to the bed

“That sounds great~” at this point you’re not even mad anymore

*this was supposed to be smut but idk where its heading atp*

He sits you on the bed opens a bottle pours out 2 swallows one but goes to get you a cup of water

“Here drink”he says hand the glass and pill to you

“Mm thanks” you taking it from him and swallowing it

“Lets watch that movie koko and rin were talking about” you say taking off your clothes

Now only in your bra and panties “Haru stop staring.”

“How can I when you look so good” he says walking closer

Gripping your hips and pulling you into his embrace “how ‘bout some cock warming while we watch”

*got the idea now ima run with it lmao*

“Hmm okay sure”

“Alright then come here” he says patting his lap

So you get on and y’all are just watching then turn around and…

*I hate to do this to y’all I really do but plot twist time hehe*

Same thing but now sanzus pov

“Hah shit~”

“what’s wrong baby?”

“Move I have to go pick up [insert name]”

‘Shit shit shit’ I thought to myself rushing to get my clothes on then running out the door

‘Finally im here’

Suddenly [insert name] turns around and holds a knife to my throat

“Oh come on Haru did you really think I wouldn’t notice” she said with a…psychopathic tone

“Wha- what?”

She got up and stood face to face with me

“I don’t know what your- AH FUCK!” I was cut off when they stabbed the knife through my leg

“WHAT THE HE-…”

‘Oh she figured it out…’

“Look im sorry” I tried to say it like I mean it

“Haru…im not mad you cheated…”

“I- I swear ill never do it again”

“Oh I know you won’t” she said laughing

“If I can’t have you…why should she..”I don’t like the way she said that last part

She walked away to grab something

Then she walked back in with a gun

“Bye haru…”

I don’t know what happened after that since I blacked out but the only thing that remains of her is a letter that says

“Send my love to you new lover…treat her better

-[insert name] ps. I won’t bother you for now but ill be back (*3*)”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

i wanna say sorry but im not LMAO

[deathvsthemaiden]

Prince Harry, Prince William, Waver Velvet, Diluc Ragnvindr, Jeremy Fragrence, and Childe (Ajax)....uwa I spelled Diluc's name right on the first go!

THE DISGUST THE VISCERAL DISGUST I AM FEELING AT EXACTLY HALF OF THESE.... ur too good and dependable I LOVE u *sniffles* 😔🤕

Harry:

Yikes full stop. Yikes. || I Don’t See The Appeal || Not My Type || He’s Alright || I See The Appeal But I’m Different™ || Cute But On Alternating Wednesdays || He Has A Kind Face And That’s Good Enough || Pretty || Gorgeous || I— I Love? || I Do Not Deserve How Could You Do This? Hmm? Et tu, Brutus? 😐

Ok listen being royalty esp modern royalty immediately cancels out any beauty god gave you in my eyes. All the poetry I wax about how there is something to appreciate in every face and body is null and void here. If we take the Some Guy approach and look at him objectively (impossible but I’ll humor you in the name of love and not being a spoilsport).... nothing I feel nothing. Maybe a whisper of contempt and a little voice in my head going “we should avoid him he’s not going to add to our life.” But that’s. IT.

William:

Yikes, I Don’t See The Appeal || Not My Type || He’s Alright || I See The Appeal But I’m Different™ || Cute But On Alternating Wednesdays || He Has A Kind Face And That’s Good Enough || Pretty || Gorgeous || I— I Love? We Don’t Deserve Him. II I’m Far Too Sane And Pretty For This?

*by this point I am shaking and crying from psychic damage* see above 👆🏽😐

Waver Velvet:

Yikes, I Don’t See The Appeal || Not My Type || He’s Alright || I See The Appeal But. I’m Different™ || Cute But On Alternating Wednesdays || He Has A Kind Face And That’s Good Enough || Pretty (I Suppose) Like If He Floats Your Boat Epic But I Might Not Attend The Wedding || Gorgeous || I— I Love? We Don’t Deserve Him.

his younger self awakens big sister instincts in me meaning he would be SO fun to tease and annoy + root for + naively hope he grows into a fine young man. At that young age he is not yet broken so there is no fixing to be done, but I certainly could help set him straight! Like a bonsai 💚 he’s more sinless and (unintentionally) funny and full of promise than his other selves.

His adult self however awakens the misandrist in me. I wanna come up to him unprovoked and tell him to smile or else bc that’s the only time he’s handsome imo.... also when he has vulnerable moments like being sad the shoes he bought with his first ever paycheck got ruined 🥺 or when he gets all triumphant and carefree ever so once in a while, like in the first ep of Case Files... what I mean is sometimes his prickly hard cranky veneer cracks and I catch a dazzling shimmer of handsome but... not often enough for my liking 😑 for my favored pixelated men I get a genuine kick out of their being disgruntled (sign of true love) but his grumbling just makes me want to file for divorce and we’re not even married 😐 like can you imagine road tripping with this man? I can’t I couldn’t I will not! And omg I don’t think you could make him say stuff like I love you without feeling like you’re pulling teeth... I don’t have the patience to reach that point with him. We’d be so bad for each other and not even in the fun way... his sharp way of dress and penchant for red and long hair and passion for certain subjects are just not enough to salvage him for me, if I want to be subjected to a short tempered man all day I have a father 😩 also he has the kind of sense of responsibility that would doom you if you married him I feel. Like admirable but also what the fuck dude. Taking on all of Kayneth’s debt w/o batting an eye? Mr Velvet what about your hypothetical wife and children.... like I can’t imagine him stopping to think about them in such a scenario... he’d have to marry someone like Melvin (or Melvin himself) who would get a kick out of that brash decision and support him and I’m the wrong dame! He feels like if he had a family and he grew into old age, he would end up one of those foreboding slightly frigid patriarchs w/ short fuses who have hearts of gold but you have to dig so long and hard that by the time you have reached it you’re youth has passed you by and your fingers are worn to the bone and you’re tired... so tired..... you should’ve listened to your mother and married that nice doctor within your ethnic group instead... he’s been a widower for a few years now, hasn’t he? Has a summer home in Vienna and a very nice curly beard? Last time you stalked his FB anyway....

Also his little friend Melvin is hilarious but I could never allow him into my home on the reg. I refuse. Reines is on thin ice and reminds me too much of my sister in some ways... Literally the only person he is oft surrounded by that I would not only be chill with but delighted to have over is Flatt Escardos. Love that wild little man, he’s a brilliant riot. But also a bit of a danger to himself and others I think? Idk I barely read FSF bc the niqabi character design pissed me off to hell and back and then some 😔���

Diluc Ragnvindr:

Yikes, I Don’t See The Appeal || Not My Type || He’s Alright || I See The Appeal But I’m Different™ || Cute But On Alternating Wednesdays || He Has A Kind Face And That’s Good Enough || Pretty || Gorgeous || I— I Love? We Don’t Deserve Him. II You Absolutely Deserve Him, Bestie 🥺🤲🏽 (heartfelt + sincere)

Oh he’s pretty enough.... like def not an ugly man! But as you yourself often correctly say he’s just Some Guy! When you tell me why you love him I absolutely understand how he captivated you 🥺 but I personally am too wild of heart to be ensnared by so sober (ahaha get it? Bc he owns a tave— whatever nvm v_v)/ and stable a man.

Jeremy Fragrance:

Yikes, I Don’t See The Appeal || Not My Type || He’s Alright || I Could See The Objective Appeal If He Never Opened His Mouth But I’m Too Smart To Be Taken In By Some Conventionally Pretty Features And Some Muscle™ || Cute But On Alternating Wednesdays || He Has A Kind Face And That’s Good Enough || Pretty || Gorgeous || I— I Love? We Don’t Deserve Him.

I scroll past his vids fairly fast the same way I often scroll past spider pics that make it on to my dash despite my best efforts.... when I decide to watch his videos I regret it so much and can barely finish. The way he talks and acts and the things he Just Says sans hesitation make me so uncomfy... so performative and out of touch in the unfun way and aggressive... why isn’t he an actor why couldn’t he be named Jeremy Drama... then I could lie to myself and go it’s okayyy Hiba it isn’t real I’m sure he’s sane behind closed doors 😖 anyway I couldn’t willingly stay in the same room with him for 5 min I COULDNT! I’m v confident our priorities and moral compasses are polar opposites and have you heard the way he talks about women? 🤨 I would honestly. Prefer Patrick Bateman. Not even kidding bc at least that man isn’t real and has successfully made me laugh and gets Big Mad over the dumbest stuff so I can mock him before he kills me. Also I think I could outsmart Bateman but... what does one do with JF other than... keep ur distance. Like I’d never trust either BUT. Yeah.

Childe (Ajax):

Yikes, I Don’t See The Appeal || Not My Type || He’s Alright || I See The Appeal But I’m Different™ || Cute But On Alternating Wednesdays || He Has A Kind Face And That’s Good Enough || Pretty || Gorgeous || I— I Love? We Don’t Deserve Him.

HES ERRATIC.... IM ERRATIC.... CAN I MAKE IT ANY MORE OBVIOUSSSS<3 no but rlly I love a lively straightforward man and he’s got red in his character design + is often pictured with whales? And his galactic themed suit of armor is nice 😳 he’d be fun to hang out with and divorce on grounds so outrageous and absurd we both find it hilarious ✅ like I don’t think I’ll ever love love him esp since all my knowledge of him is second hand but he sounds like a blast 💥

[angelmichelangelo]

i’m about five years too late and nobody asked for this except me and i need to just get this out of my brain because it’s 2am so here’s a list of things i wish happened on glee that didn’t HERE WE GO:

- new directions being actual teenagers. just them hanging out. going to group sleepovers. giant study sessions (because school exists in this universe?) like remember in tpp when they were eating lunch together ? that’s what i wanted MORE of. just them being actual friends. a sleepover episode is all i wanted imagine all the abba songs we could have gained from that episode

- a halloween themed episode. the closest to this that we got was the ‘thriller/heads will roll’ mashup which YES was iconic but im greedy and it’s not enough. my idea for a halloween episode is that the gang gets trapped inside the school after staying behind to idk rehearse? or something? and then things get progressively worse as they start to go a little mad, thinking the school is haunted and they split up into pairs trying to find an escape and they think they’re seeing ghosts/someone lurking around the school and they’re getting real spooked but it turns out it’s just sue fucking with them lmao

- kurt and finn being brothers. THE POTENTIAL WAS THERE and sadly after furt we are left with crumbs. why ?? WHY?? little moments like finn saying that he’s driving back home with kurt or them saying they can’t do something because they have a family thing would have been good enough. more scenes of them hanging out in their home with their parents would have been *chefs kiss* but alas. it never happened because glee writers are bastards

- based off my last point: sam actually living at the hudson-hummel house because he actually did live there? but nothing is ever said like what’s the dynamic there why weren’t kurt and sam and finn close if they all lived together for what? like a year? was sam living in the mf shed? did he ever get close to carole and burt?? where tf did he live when everyone went off to college did he just stay in their house lol who knows not me LMAO

- blaine dealing with his trauma ? mental health was never dealt with very well on this show. emma’s ocd was just ignored after she got married or whatever and blaine mentioned his trauma once and then it was ignored until it was mentioned in passing a few seasons later and even he just brushed it off and it was never brought up again like wtf. i have no idea how they wrote a whole episode about hate crime in bash and they never once thought to have blaine and kurt have a single conversation together, let alone a conversation about how they’d both been victims of a hate crime. AND THE ONLY TIME BLAINE DOES MENTION IT IS IN TESTED WHERE ITS JUST USED AS A REASON FOR THEM TO FIGHT AAAAAAAA no wait im calm it’s okay. i just would have liked to have seen kurt and blaine have an emotional moment together in that episode that didn’t include blaine singing and kurt being knocked tf out. just sayin.

- kurt dealing with HIS trauma !! again, glee gets bad points for talking about mental health and it just is crazy that they had so much potential with kurt, ie: depression, anxiety, ocd (kinda?) his bullying, being literally assaulted (i see u ryan murphy taking that whole plot line so loosely mmhm) and then shoehorning in the fact that he was suicidal AT THE SECOND TO LAST EPISODE when they had a whole episode about suicide and they could have mentioned it at any time but ofc they didn’t because the writers just wanted to shove in as much as they could in the flashback episode AYE AYE AYE the potential!!!! oof.

- literally just more tina. jenna ushkowitz is a fantastic actor/singer/preformer and she was criminally underused. i like the episode props because of two reasons: one. everyone switching characters was amazing. and two. some actual tina scenes. even if she.. technically was rachel but also herself or something? either way. i digress

- this is just in general but MORE ABBA AND ALSO THE CARPENTERS and also some sound of music songs would have worked GREAT but they already had like a million songs and as the show progressed they veered away from old songs and more towards popular songs at the time to help chart numbers blah blah blah whatever it’s cool. but also how did they only do a few abba songs that is criminal

- a more fleshed out ending that wasn’t so rushed. like rachel won a tony and everyone else is just? there? why is sam at mr shue’s house ??? how did artie get up the stairs? did quinn graduate from yale? and where tf was kurt and blaine’s child during ‘i lived’ because burt and carole are vibing in the audience and rachel isn’t pregnant so like? is the baby just?? alone somewhere in the wings?! lmao where are u bby girl!! but once again i know they didn’t have the time to do it so idk it’s fine what they did it just sucks we didn’t get more! but again. fanfic exists so yah im all good

- more of blaine’s mum. or mom, in this case i guess. why cast gina gershon and then give her ONE line like ? ik there was a whole deleted script that explained why she was there but i love that up until that point blaine seemed like he genuinely murdered his parents, lived in their big house all alone and when people got suspicious he just told them that they were “out of town” :) either way pam is great i love her and i wish she had more to do in the one episode she was ever in. not even a moment with blaine?? wasted.

- more of cooper anderson, matt boomer is so fucking funny everytime i think of the emotion tornado i bust a lung laughing like it’s so fucking stupid but oh my good i love it. (and if you haven’t watched the special feature of cooper’s transformers audition tape please please watch it because it’s just so funny.) ik he was just a special guest but i wish they got him back for at least the wedding ep but guess my mans was just busy. boo ;(

- going back a couple of points, i wish they’d done a whole episode like props. every actor here just shines when they’re impersonating each other. finn and puck as kurt and blaine is beautiful and quinn and sugar is incredible. also idk why they refused kevin the right to wear the cheerios skirt; they could have put a little more effort into some characters but that’s glee for ya lmao but yeah. a whole episode like that would have been so much fun

- they should have let chris colfer write more episodes. purely for the fact that he wrote with his own bare hands the whole scene where lea michelle’s character gets dragged down a road by dogs. this guy. it’s a shame he only got to write one since he actually did a really good job! i would have loved to have seen what other episode ideas he had :)

- glee in the summer! obviously it only was centred around the school year but after season 3 who honestly gave a shit about the glee club and mckinley lmao i wanna see them in SHORT SHORTS and POOL PARTIES but nope we just got september - june so like rip all my hopes and dreams

- WHAT HAPPENED TO DALTON? bitch just burst into flames ?? and for WHAT?? oh yeah plot convenience smh this is so sad i wish they’d either written something better than “we need the warblers to team up with new directions so uhhh the school burnt down” like. it’s a private school. if the school is gone and they’re just staying at mckinley what are the parents paying for? they’re just cool with sending their kids off to public school now? every adult in this universe has been murdered by these kids, haven’t they? they’re just doing whatever they want jfc

- a wedding was a good episode. ish. and yknow, huge kudos to them because gay marriage wasn’t legal in the us at the time so im less harsh on the fact that they definitely threw up the rainbow flags and made it less about the characters getting married and more so “we have gay characters and look they’re getting married what a concept” but i do wish we could have gotten some more married!klaine since they don’t really have much to do after this understandably but a little moment alone together after the wedding would have been nice :) IT WOULD HAVE BEEN NICE IM TELLING YOU

- get rid of the hummelberry friendship and send mercedes to new york instead. i have nothing else to add to this other than the fact that i mourn the fact that kurt and mercedes went from bffs to just. school mates. this is tragic this is traaaaagic !! and all for more of the rachel berry show smh

- every day i wonder what was going through carmen tibideaux mind when she watched the kurt hummel preform not the boy next door and was like :) and then watched rachel berry have a breakdown on stage and then proceeded to give rachel the spot at nyada and kurt gets payed literal dust. and THEN she had the nerve to tell him it was because his performance had no heart. AND HOW DID ADAM GET IN THIS BABY GOT BACK MOTHERFUCKER?! nyada is a circus school oh my god !!!!! kurt deserved better im telling yall he deserved so much better

there’s so much more i could rant about but im going insane im so tired and i need psychological help after watching glee so im gonna leave it here and say peace out homies it’s been fun but i need to sleep so bad

[5sos-seavey]

“PHASES” INSPIRED JJ FIC

it’s finally here after so long !! really hope you like it girl

- 

Phases - JJ Maybank

Warning(s): some swearing

Word Count: 2416 (without the lyrics)

Tags: @snarkystarkey, @maybe-maybanks, @baby-bearie, @mayibeyoursbanks, @katie-avery, @kaceyjost

A/N: I decided to not switch through points of view but just kept writing while the povs kinda sorta change, hopefully it makes sense as you read but it might be more of JJ’s pov since the song is from the guy’s pov ALSO if you’ve seen the music video for phases I guess it’s kinda gonna be like that lol

I know you’re tryna do you, but I heard you fell off.

After a couple bad nights, and 20 cold hearts.

Tryna find a new you, but I heard you got lost.

Tryna figure your worth.

What the hell does that cost?

You and JJ had been together for a little over a year when you told him that you thought you needed some space and wanted to figure out who you were and what you wanted. At first JJ was confused, he thought you loved each other and wanted each other. “Please don’t be upset with me,” you had said to him. “Y/N I just want you to explain it to me.” “JJ, we’re so young, and I’m not saying I don’t love you, because I do, I love you so much, but I have no idea who I am. I don’t want it to be 3 years down the road and we decide that we don’t want to be together. I know that we’re young, but I honestly think that we’re it for each other. I just don’t want us to end up as that, right person, wrong time, couple.” JJ was nodding along as you had spoke, “okay. I get that. Just, please don’t like, I don’t know, forget me, I guess? Because I love you and I want to be with you.”

When I’m kissing ya, grippin’ ya thigh.

I realized you were destined and meant to be mine.

But who am I to conflict with ya livin’ your life?

Just know when you call, I’m at the end of the line.

JJ knew you were the one. He just wanted to be with you. But he didn’t want to get in the way of you finding yourself, because he didn’t want you to be the, right person, wrong time. He thought of you as the, right person all the time, no matter what. He also would never want you to feel pressure to stay with him because he wanted you to. He also didn’t know what kind of space you wanted so he would sometimes text you, reply to your story, whatever. It broke you, but sometimes you just didn’t answer him. You knew this was hard for him, but it was hard for you too.

JJ: just checking in, how are ya?

y/n: im good jj, thanks.

y/n: i know it’s been a couple weeks and we’re both kinda struggling with this but idk if we should be texting and shit while we’re figuring how exactly to navigate this. and it also won’t help in any kind of growth. im sorry jj

JJ was beside himself. He wanted to be there for you, but this was the one time you didn’t want that. He still thought it was important for you to know that he’s here for you.

JJ: i get that. don’t be a total stranger tho. if you ever need me or anything, i’ll be here

JJ never got a response to that message. But he knew, or at least hoped, you’d come to him if you ever needed.

I’ll practice my patience, while you’re getting wasted.

Till fate brings you home, I’ll wait through your phases.

You’ll shuffle through faces, like songs in your playlist.

Till fate brings you home, I’ll wait through your phases, phases.

It had been about two months since you asked for space and JJ was doing as well as he could be. He spent a lot of time at John B.’s to try and distract himself with John B., Ki and Pope. Even Sarah came sometimes. Sarah was surprisingly helpful actually, while his other three friends tried to steer clear of anything to do with you, Sarah wasn’t worried about bringing you up, “well she did say that she wanted to be with you right? Don’t look at it as a breakup because it’s not. And even if it does become one, which I highly doubt, it isn’t one yet.” JJ was shaking his head, “she’s seeing other people, she doesn’t ever talk to me and I know that I don’t talk to her either, but she asked for that. I don’t know Sarah, it’s hard not to treat it like a breakup.”

Ki started to agree with Sarah, “but JJ, she said she loves you; she just needs to know who she is. You don’t want her to resent you down the road.” JJ looked at Ki in shock, she never wants to talk about Y/N, she was always worried about upsetting JJ. He couldn’t argue with them, what they said made sense, and plus, you had been talking to those two more than you had been talking to him. And that was saying a lot because you only talked to the girls maybe once or twice a week, and you always tried to avoid talk of JJ because you didn’t want to be worried about how he may be feeling; he had said that he supported you in wanting to do this, so you were just going to stick to that.

It definitely did not help JJ’s worrying knowing that you’d go out and you’d be seeing other people, going on dates, doing whatever else you were going to do while you two weren’t together. He’d just have to wait on you, he wanted you to be as sure as he was.

Hittin’ all the right cues and you’re leaving your mark.

But I know that ain’t you, you’re just playing your part.

Tryna fit in them shoes, but you take it too far.

It doesn’t matter where it takes you, I’ll go wherever you are.

It had been four months now. You can’t lie, you missed JJ, but you can’t find yourself in four months just to go right back where you were before. Obviously not saying that going back to JJ would be bad, but it still seemed to early to go back to him now.

You’ve gone a quite a bit of dates, in the beginning, they were all one offs though. Two months ago you had met someone, things were going pretty well actually. You had gone on a few dates together, but you personally thought things had been moving too fast. When you brought it up though, it did not go well. You were told that you were “self sabotaging because you don’t want to be happy.” It goes without saying that you two were no longer see each other. Maybe you were self sabotaging, you definitely weren’t doing it on purpose though. You just always had a lot on your mind.

Since then, you’ve been going out a lot again, and surprisingly Sarah was joining you quite a bit lately. You had felt bad almost completely cutting off your friends just because they were also JJ’s friends. You just didn’t want it to seem like you wanted them to pick sides because ultimately, there were no sides. Right now Sarah was over at your place and you were waiting on the food the two of you had ordered before going out for the night, “so what’s the plan, Y/N?” “Guess we’ll just go to one of the bars or clubs downtown. Can you wing-woman me,” you asked her, lightly laughing. Sarah started slightly laughing along with you, “sure. But uh, and don’t take this the wrong way but, what if we just went out to have a good time tonight? If you meet someone, you meet someone. Don’t try to force finding someone.” You looked at Sarah thoughtfully, maybe she was right. The last few times you’d gone out, and with Sarah, she helped you find someone, and you’d gone on a few dates. Maybe tonight could just be more of a chill night out, “you know what, yeah, you’re right. Do you wanna call Kiara and see if she wants to join too?” Sarah was silent for a second while she stared blankly, “um, I actually don’t know if she’s free. I think she had plans tonight, uh, with the boys.” “Oh okay that’s fine, just me and you then,” you smiled at her. Sure you hadn’t seen Kiara in a while, maybe it was mostly on you, but sometimes it sucked, guess that’s what happens when you want a break from one of your friend’s best friend.

When I’m kissing ya, grippin’ ya thigh.

I realized you were destined and meant to be mine.

But who am I to conflict with ya livin’ your life?

Just know when you call, I’m at the end of the line.

I’ll practice my patience, while you’re getting wasted.

Till fate brings you home, I’ll wait through your phases.

You’ll shuffle through faces, like songs in your playlist.

Till fate brings you home, I’ll wait through your phases, phases.

I’ll wait, I’ll wait through your phases, phases.

I’ll wait, I’ll wait through your phases, phases.

For you, I’ll wait through your phases, phases.

I’ll wait, I’ll wait, I’ll wait through your phases.

JJ could admit that these past few months had been hard, but what he hated to admit even more was that it was also getting easier. You never texted him and even Sarah wouldn’t talk as much about you to JJ either. She felt bad because she had started hanging out with you more and more and she didn’t really want it to seem like she was rubbing it in JJ’s face in any way. JJ did appreciate that Sarah was doing that for him, and he also appreciated that you had Sarah, he figured it must’ve been hard for you not being able to talk to any of your friends, but it is what you decided.

JJ didn’t really go out much, he didn’t enjoy it as much as he used to when he would go with you. John B. did make him go out a couple times, especially recently since Sarah was going out with you. Nothing ever happened when he went out, he mostly would just sit at their table and had a couple drinks. JJ was waiting on you.

I’m really tired of being soft spoken.

You got me broke, writing songs about you daily and it’s messing with my focus.

You fuck with him, but we both realized that he was bogus.

I’m the one for you, so why do I feel like I go unnoticed.

I’m talking more than clothes hittin’ floors.

I’m falling off track, but not the rack, like a chore.

Oh, look, another butterfly, I feel it in my core.

Even though you ain’t mine, it’s the fact that I’m yours.

It’s the fact that my life ain’t complete without yours.

It’s the fact that at night I be tryna ignore.

Catching overseas flights just to knock on your door, cause you put my planet in orbit.

Stargirl, your body’s so solar.

Promise you, baby, I’m sober.

Just wait till you give in and finally come over.

I can’t wait to tell you, “I told ya, I told ya, I told ya.”

It’s been about half a year without any contact from you, and JJ is going crazy. Not only that, but now he’s more stressed and worried than he was in the first two months. He didn’t think it’d be like this for this long. He thought maybe you could’ve even been friendly with each other but if you weren’t going to message him, he didn’t want to feel like he was overstepping and intruding on your space.

JJ was also frustrated though because he really, really, really thought you’d at least even tell him that you didn’t want to be together by now. But maybe if you hadn’t it was a good sign, right? He needed to know something though, even if it wasn’t him directly that was finding out.

JJ: Sarah, can I ask you for a favour?

Sarah: shoot

JJ: could you see where Y/N’s head is at rn? I’m kinda freaking out

Sarah: actually I can do you one better

JJ: ??

Sarah: she’s still figuring things out BUT she’s not confused about things as much and she thinks she knows what she wants

Sarah: before you ask tho, she didn’t tell me where she stands or what she’s doing. she probably figured you’d ask or I’d tell you, which I wish I could do

Sarah: I know you’re stressing, but hopefully it won’t be for much longer bc she’ll tell you something soon one way or another

Sarah: but I hope it’s in the way that you’re both happy and together :)

JJ: thanks Sarah, I really appreciate it

JJ: keep me updated if she tells you anything or you hear anything

Sarah: of course, same goes for you

Wow, at the beginning of all this, JJ definitely did not think Sarah would be like his saving grace through it all. She’s honestly been the most helpful and straightforward, making sure JJ was feeling all his feelings and not hiding from any of his friends. She wanted him to know that she was there for him, and so were the boys and Kiara.

I’ll practice my patience, while you’re getting wasted.

Till fate brings you home, I’ll wait through your phases.

You’ll shuffle through faces, like songs in your playlist.

Till fate brings you home, I’ll wait through your phases, phases.

I’ll wait, I’ll wait through your phases, phases.

I’ll wait, I’ll wait through your phases, phases.

For you, I’ll wait through your phases, phases.

I’ll wait, I’ll wait, I’ll wait through your phases.

So much time has passed, and you knew now for sure, that you were ready to be with JJ. But since so much time had passed, with no contact at all, you weren’t sure how he still felt. What you did know was that you had to tell him everything you felt before because even though you knew you wanted to be with him, he needed to know that he wanted to be with you. There was not one bone in JJ’s body that didn’t want to be with you, but you didn’t know that.

Y/N: Sarah, do you know where JJ is?

Y/N: PLEASE DON’T TELL HIM IM LOOKING FOR HIM!!!!

Sarah: I won’t dw

Sarah: and he’s at John B.’s, we all are

Y/N: okay please all stay there

You were on your way to John B.’s and to say you were nervous was an understatement. You hadn’t seen any of them, other than Sarah, for half of a year. You just hope none of them changed their opinion of you and hated you now.

Y/N: I’m here, do you think you could try to get JJ to come out without telling him it’s me

You waited a minute until Sarah responded.

Sarah: he’s coming!!!

You waited on John B.’s front lawn and then JJ opened the door. You didn’t know what Sarah said to him to get him to come out, but he started looking around until he saw you, which caused him to do a double take. “Y/N? Wha-what are you doing here?” JJ started to come over to where you were standing. “I uh, I uh, wanted to see you. I-is that okay,” you were a lot more nervous than you thought you were going to be. “Yeah of course. Is um, something wrong?” “I guess that depends.” “Depends on what? You’re kinda worrying me.” “I have something to say to you. And I need to say it all before uh, any kind of decision is made.” “Oh um okay. Go ahead.” You took a deep breath and started.

“When I told you that I wanted to just take a break for a while, I said it was for me and to figure out who I was, which is partly true. I ended up realizing though, that wasn’t the only reason,” JJ tilted his head in confusion at you while you continued, “I realized that it was for you too. And yes, I know that it wasn’t your idea and you still supported me and the decision, but it was for you. It was for you through me. I wanted to make sure you were happy, I didn’t want you to regret being with me,” JJ opened his mouth to say something, but you stopped him, “I just wanna finish,” which he nodded at. “I didn’t want to end up being a burden on you and then have you resenting me in the future for who I was. And I know it sounds ridiculous, these scenarios that haven’t happened about problems you’ve never even voiced. But I guess I not only wanted to grow for me, but I wanted to grow for you, because I love you. I love you so much JJ Maybank.”

JJ had the biggest smile on his face as he pulled you into hug and then put his hands on either side of your face softly and kissed you. You swear you’d never been happier. JJ pulled away, both of you with the same goofy smiles. “I love you Y/N, so much. I’m just glad that we’re together again.” “Me too.” Then before JJ could kiss you again, you heard banging on the windows and when you and JJ looked, John B., Pope, Kiara and Sarah had all been watching through the window the whole time. You and JJ laughed while the four of them just cheered. “Let’s give em a show then,” and JJ pulled you into another kiss.