#theres still so much more about this that i feel wrong but the thing is its confusing cuz i feel like the two years of torture in my house | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

dynamitekansai · 3 months ago

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THE USOS REUNITE WWE SMACKDOWN (OCTOBER 25, 2024)

#no useful tags just me bitching lmao #i am SO unmoved #im praying theres more to all this than them just speedrunning this reunion just so certain things can line up in time for ple shows #and so wrestling fans with less than one braincell can get the instant gratification of their favwit tag team together again 🥺#bc oh bite me lolllll #so much of this ~cinema~ is starting to feel rushed and im just hoping theres turns or angles or REASONS for it #but thats asking me to trust wrestling with carrying storylines fully and i do NOT #the things i wanted most from this story were jey getting proper acknowledgement/vindication and apology for his abuse #and explanation for why the family treats solo as they do (and then expect him to be a well adjusted adult lmao)#jey has NO reason to forgive them yet like did they buy him hallmark cards behind the scenes?#and theyve done much worse to him for much longer the new bloodline #you dont get to brag about this being the greatest slowburn long term cinema storytelling and then just....#im HOPING so bad its not just as simple as it looks i am #they keep swearing theres so many more 'innings' to this so idk prove me wrong please literally do #but that still wont make me moved by ✨og bloodline reunion✨#bc what yall mean yall are still the heels in my eyes like why do you have so many family members yall left on the side of the road #while talking about family above all and dont divide family lmao #and i get ~twin bond~ but LORD #actually that twin bond excuse is evil too #solo go bring in jeremiah since hes technically part of wwe canon too and beat their asses together actually lmao #i aint forgot jey saying something like having brothers is great but how being a twin is just different/special #like yeah sure but can you not make your other siblings sound like secondhand brothers or whatever shdhfhjf #ok im done. for now. for this post. maybe.#venting about my interests is fun for me ok #its how i process the information given to me and understand it #and also i like to bitch

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ganondoodle · 5 months ago

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(idk if anyone wants to keep hearing my opinions on totk book stuff but-)

apparently it says that rauru DID have kids, multiple even, which yeah... is kinda necessary for zelda to even be connected to them so much so that sonia can SENSE a blood connection (which, even with all the excuses with magic, is just a little too far for me to suspend my disbelief bc its over, OVER, ten thousand years worth of generations that seperate her from them that one lil touch of the hand can sense that (feels more like an attempt to make you care about them or .. see them as zeldas "better" parents just bc they exchange a few nice words, i never got the feeling they were 'better' parents and its also kinda disrespectful to her actual parents, like sure rhoam wasnt the best but i wouldnt call rauru better just bc he was polite)- i could see maybe the light power of hylia or sth but since its the coolest dude that ever lived rauru now that had it which still doesnt make sense and makes me unreasonably annoyed and she can sense BOTH of their powers in her? nah) the fact theres NOTHING about them in the game itself is just so ... no way they planned any of this

i dont think theres anything they can do or say that wont make be believe they either

are making it up alla 'fix it in post' mentality trying to hastily explain stuff the game never bothers to do to try and appease fans or let it appear as if they thought about it at all

something went really REALLY wrong during development, which kinda seems likely given how the game turned out (im sorry i cannot let go, its not just the writing, the game design too and how little was changed in the map while being so damn expensive, i dont know how people dont feel scammed q_q)

given that they (allegedly) spent the last entire year of development on polish (where??? where????? huh??? like it would make it more understandable (EXCEPT for the price) if there was alot of trouble, which was also bc it got delayed and ... turned out like this, but they dont want to say it, especially given their reputation, with that quote i have heard way too many times 'a delayed game blah blah') i just??

are they just gonna go and do it like they did with kashiwa (kass)? "they uuuh where flying around the whole time ony cool sonau tech maschines, you just dont see or hear from them ooooorrr they were uuuuh out of the country at the time" (sending invitations to other continents to join their glorious kingdom ;) )

(bet they are also gonna say they did all the stuff like ... moving the shrines around (lol?) and lifting the islands up into the sky- which is still weird bc ... didnt they also say they were living in the sky before coming to the surface?? so where?? did they park all their islands on the surface and the mystery kids had the keys so they had to repark them back into the sky after they returned off camera?? xD also why are the islands so different as an environment if they where from the surface? like even the STONE up there is different- and if they were first in the sky then on the surface and the nback in the sky .. why is there not a single yellow tree or grass in the past- you cant really argue that it changed bc they were up there so long bc .. nothing else changed, the suddendly and totally always there sonau buildings are largely in prime condition, only some slightly moldy, and what we see of the glorious past looks barely any different from the present, aside from like ... some standard trees shuffled, no castle yet and that glowy uwu filter DESPITE that stupidly long time frame between it)

#ganondoodles talks #zelda #ganondoodles rants #idk if others feel like that too but i cant shake the feeling there was something that either went horribly wrong during development-#-or the entire thing was neglected the whole time which is why its so .. i hesitate to even call it bare bones #...which is WILD given that its the supposed sequel to their best seeling zela game #like wtf where you doing #i get that the pressure can be immense but imo it wasnt that hard to make a sequel to thats better than totk #like i think it was harder to make totk like it is NOW bc it scraps and throws away so many things you could have easily used-#-as sequel material #its all so weird to me #my tin foil hat theory is still that they saw the success of the mario movie and immediately shifted everything to make more movies #bc it made so much money #and a movie is easier to make than a good game #so totk or botw2 at the time got the short end of the stick #which is why everything feels like .. so ... bare bones .. untested .. unfinished .. non sensical...#like an alpha build that got enough visual polish to look like a full game when its still an alpha build at its core #some main ideas like the abilities implemented and the basic map layers #mechanics functioning but untested on how it feels to play #like the sage controls and arrow fusing and ... contradictory game mechanics that dont work together #like the bulding WORKS but its clunky and underused- everything can be cheated so easily you dont even feel good cheating-#-bc it feels like the teacher just allowed you to mark your test with a green circle and you still got an A (or however USA grades work)#despite not even reading the questions- why attempt to solve a puzzle if you can just skip it #and how they tell you to be creative with it yet creativity gets punished and only efficiency is rewarded #which completely undermines the entire thing #...theres so much more you know i have ranted about it all before #ALSO rauru and sonia seemed like a rather newly wed couple to me- not one that had multiple kids that never appear-#since it only mentions rauru ..... if its only his then ... that doesnt explain anything bc zelda needs both sonia and rauru dna #................do sonau leave eggs to incubate somewhere heavenly or sth #watch out the springs where built to hatch rauru eggs bc they need the gods holy blessing bc they are oh so holy to hatch

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im-smart-i-swear · 8 months ago

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can you remember being born? were you born at all

#my art #kuron vld #vld kuron #vld #this is sorta a companiom piece to the haggar one i posted recently #also. just now realising the perfect timing of posting that drawing on MOTHERS DAY of all possible days #i swear i didnt plan that. didnt even cross ny mind?? but its neat ig #this drawing is pretty simple but i really like how it turned out!!!#it was meant to evoke those infographics of human fetus development #its wrong. there should be middle stages between a fetus and a fully grown adult man. but theres nothing there.#like. he had no childhood or anything. he just woke up as a full ass guy. theres no middle point between a mindless clump of cells and him.#no infant. no child. no teenager. just kuron.#this is wrong and unnatural and it shouldnt have happened but it did #the part of him that looks the most alive is the bloody arm. his life depends on it. hes nothing without it.#sigh. i have so much to say abt this piece and i feel like its pretty barebones and simple tbh #but i still cant put into words what i mean!!!!! i am trying and failing!!! argghhhhhhhhg. whateverr #i have THOUGHTS about this but a weird ramble is all youre gonna get folks. maybe one day il write a small coherent analysis of this thing #he will never escape haggar. he was not meant to. hes asleep and clueless and hell never wake up #he wont ever become more than what was planned for him. and he doesnt even know #blood #gore #i guess. not really gore. more like viscera and flesh?#kuronposting

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akimojo · 2 years ago

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people love to use ffxiii’s messy development as a reason to completely shit on the game but honestly the fact they managed to sneak in so many little details in the gameplay in a way that reflects the characters and story despite all the miscommunication between the dev sections is just impressive to me

#was xiii horribly planned out and missed out on a lot of important feedback because of the poor time management? absolutely #does that mean you cant be impressed with what the game achieved regardless of whether you liked it or not? fuck no #also the fact theres next to no bugs (not counting the pc port because... yeah) is amazing all things considered #and the graphics still hold up to this day #the linearity is everyones main issue with the game but look at x dude #x was linear as hell too but it makes sense bc yuna had a pilgrimage to follow #just as how it makes sense for the xiii cast to not have time to stop and explore cocoon while they were being hunted by the government #thats why you have so much more freedom to explore when youre on pulse #theres not even anything objectively wrong with having a game be linear in the first place #and the people complaining about the story being ''incoherent'' are just... wrong?#they give you enough hints within the dialogue to piece the story together yourself while also not leaning on exposition dumps to tell it #and if you cant do that then the datalogs are right THERE #games have relied on ''notes'' to tell parts of their story for ages now and i dont understand why its suddenly bad when xiii does it #i dont like sitting through exposition dumps and i like being able to analyse and theorize about a plot WHILE im experiencing it #and a lot of other people feel the same way so its not an objectively bad aspect of the game's storytelling #you just need to pay attention and be patient and wait for the story to unfold #i went off the rails but ANYWAY #aki stfu #final fantasy xiii

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toasted-valentine · 6 months ago

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@pyrotechnicarus was right, that tv can fucking glow.

#i saw the tv glow #isttvg #the set design dude #the world is just decaying around Owen as they’re dying from the inside out #everything starts losing color and we stop seeing Owen out in the bright sunlight #the only shot that’s there that’s nice and bright and wonderful is the one of maddys burial spot #the split second pause after the drive thru worker calls Owen sir #like it was just physically painful to hear and they needed a second #the fact they just start apologizing for having a breakdown but there’s still time and they shouldn’t be doing that #they phrase it as needing to become a man but really all they’re doing is killing themself slowly over time #i 100% read Maddy and Owen/Isabel and Tara as t4t love where one of them was ready to come out and move on with their life while the other #is too scared to ever change and is stuck in an endless loop of being something they’re not #Owen has the personality of wet grass but that’s the entire point #being too scared to ever be anything more than what is expected and just rotting over years and year and just hating yourself all the while #I love the part where Owen can’t verbalize why exactly their romantic attraction feels wrong #it’s wrong because they’re trans and can’t incision a life as Owen but can’t say out loud that it’s being perceived as a male in #a relationship that is the problem #the jab the dad makes about pink opaque being a girl’s show and how the dad is the one to drag Owen away from freedom in the tv #he’s holding Owen back but they’re so fucking scared to live as Isabel and are just stuck in a cycle of self loathing #but there’s still time #the reason Maddy/Tara doesn’t come back is because there is still time #but Owen has to be the one to commit to being Isabel and no one else is going to drag them into the dirt #it’s their choice alone and their inaction is a choice all on its own #no matter how much time passes as long as Owen is alive then there is still time to change but their inaction is slowly killing them #the fact they find the truth in their own chest dude that’s such a trans thing #where the fuck is my insurance card I’m calling my doctor to start t when the offices open #THERES STILL TIME MAN #THERES STILL TIME

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yutamayo · 2 months ago

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byeeee

#me literally thia afternoon discarding anime and posting about how i wish i had never gotten into it and how no one should watch anime but #really it was just about me slipping on seperating the fictional horrors from my actual horrors so watchong yuji claw at the ground #wasnt a “off gege ur horrible” it wS more of a #“i cant breathe im going to die i cant handle this life this is too much there is too much pain i wish i never put this visual in my mind”#and “genuinely i cant stop sobbing im so fucked up by this i remember reality now this is not good for me im going to fucking break”#but then i went back to “damn rhere are some good paralells i can make from this” and then saving the parallels in my to do list #so #shoutout mental illness #but really shoutout the terrifying ordeal of exostence and feelings i cant wait for my brain to get back to the usual compartmentalizing #and by compartmentalizing i mean detaching from reality bc i wont lie its great and it works and it does get better you just #have to get better at actively disociating. like fr practice stepping away from your feelings and accepting that nothing matter except what #u want to matter. and only let things that dont hurt matter.#once u get good at that its smooth sailing #❤️#mind over matter and manifest away ur mental illness #a.k.a. dont think just blank out the present until a treat shows up and then when that treat is done exit back into the blankness #fr im still alive bc of this srs theres nothing wrong with erasing the bad stuff #repression gets a bad hype bc ppl always confuse it with shit that will “come back to get u later lol thats only if ur not good enough at it #ive had minimal problems bc of this so far i rarely get triggered like that yuji thing came and went #forget everything until you want to absorb things that u want to absorb. repress if it keeps u alive. actually repress is a bad word for it #i feel “delete it” works better bc u shouldnt push it down #just delete it #teru mikami style #proof that light yagami did nothing wrong #gremlin hours #no. motivation quotes and life advice hours

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flovverworks · 2 months ago

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(person who was writing figaro & akira things) lots to think about in regards to akira w/ the (ex)northern wizards especially. lennox' white day event with the dishes inspired by your life and akira saying oz is something like a fluffy pancake perhaps (or whatever it was), & akiras actions toward oz in general (being very stubborn&honest when he's being silly about arthur, saying they wont summon another wizard if he turns murr to stone, etc) & their relationship (oz who can't use magic at night without akira, oz who's willing to listen to the sage's requests (even if thats transforming into a cat,,,,), oz who tells them not to forget their name, oz opening up about arthurs prophecy.....lots&lots of things). because akira knows about oz' past & has seen his strength (second anni.....), because the oz they know isn't the worlds strongest wizard oz but their friend oz,,,,,,,,,likeeee mithras similar too. knowing how strong he is, knowing he has killed in the past, but getting along with him so so well as well.

there's that part in early pt2 too where they speak about the sacrificium with him & 'doesnt it bother you to accept something from the twins' because it essentially puts akira within their circle of power? influence? protection? like how the twins protect their current village....but akira doesnt feel that way because they compare it to living within a country (even if thats also the part where they remark again that its tiring to deal with people sometimes). and i feel it ties in similarly.......?! figaro & snow & white are spoken of negatively a lot in the 'being kind' situations by the other northern wizards, but akira just doesnt have that pov/experience,,,,not to say they can ignore everything theyve done (figaros spot story help,,,,,,,,,,?????) but its. gestures widely. kindness in a person, kindness in someone's actions, being kind and being cruel, what's the goal, where did you grow up, the complexity of peoples thoughts and actions and being, etcetc....... lots to say in regards to figaro in general who initially shared he wanted to make the sage fall in love with him so he could manipulate their actions into world peace but also offered to listen to their worries (+ his tanabata event + card in general of his actions & surprise).

Because Figaro's a kind person—regardless of what Snow and White said, regardless of what Mithra and Owen said, but not regardless of Bradley. Everyone he known turned to stone and shackled as an example; see, there's good wizards who will help you defeat the bad wizards. For the sake of wizards and for the sake of humans Bradley had to lose the people he held dear. Akira could not disregard that.

do u get what im getting at <-speaking about things that arent deep at all

#stardust speaking !#EATS MY HAT #think theres lots to say about in regards to faust too but with how he views himself vs how akira(others) views him #dude who was willing to make a child curse him so he wouldnt attempt to curse the moon #mhyk characterization all got me like. ggGGGgggGggGgGg #idk if i ever said this but i enjoy mhyks pacing soooo much cuz it always feels like the focus is always on characters & feelings #so the way they pace things just end up being in ways i love so much #anyway the constant 'the younger wizards treat oz very different' is always so funny #oz& riquet is one of my favorite dynamics of all time #i miss second anni i miss neros parts in it i need to reread it next yr sometime #sidenote but gran falls into this a lot too considering who they know #and considering raziel being O_O at them forgiving her so fast for attempting to have them killed #while vyrns all 'if i had a rupie for each person on this crew who tried to kill us...' KJBJADKBJADBJKDBJK #forgot what i was gonna mention in regards to finding out more about the day bradley was caught. BUT the image of mithra standing in #that snowstorm watching is something i still obsess over #its so good...#the northern wizards part with vincent in general is just so incredibly good #isnt it bradley who goes 'and if i wasnt caught wizards like mitile mightve been hurt' or similar to mithra #akira asking lennox about his feeling toward oz too since oz abandoning his world domination affected things a lot #<-rly funny figaro joined for that and then went to arrest bradley many many years later #i need to get to the pt2 part where oz & figaro talks about love and figaros whole 'am i wrong..?' cuz dude that scene haunts me #so much to say about everyone in this little game

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dayurno · 10 months ago

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juggling two job offers and trying to negotiate for a bigger salary has me feeling like i need a kevin day on my shoulder telling me i should refuse to be paid anything less than what i’m worth. save me corporate weapon kevi day save me

#dont get me wrong im very happy to be in a position to pick at all! and i liked both companies very much #BUT IT IS STRESSFUL…!!#i dont like telling people no….#im not a corporate weapon im a lackadaisical friend-maker with people pleasing issues #but im like omg am i being too cold…. am i being too ambitious…#i guess the good thing about working in tech is that theres more room for negotiation still but ah! ach. you know.#well i guess we will wait and see #save me kevi… kevi save me…#txt #kevin #but also i was talking to my friend and she was like soooo shocked id even have the gall to negotiate #so at least that made me feel better like omg we really are in this protestant work method shit for life… lets free ourselves sister #they dont really care abt us

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void-chara · 3 months ago

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ohh so itz one of Those days for me today huh.

#days where i ponder What if my friends and also literally everyone ever all Hated me due to the Valid reasons for hating me.#and then i spend so much time contemplating 1) what i would do if Everyone hated me and how i would explain myself in various situations an #places. what i would say how people would react what i would do in response etc. and then also 2) i contemplate and recontemplate my belief #over and over even tho i Know by now how i feel. because What if my opinion changes and i realize i was wrong before. and i finally arrive #at the perfect answer that feels Right and Good and True and which i could adequately explain to anyone and convince anyone of itz Rightnes #and Correctness. like thats not gonna happen thats not an answer that Exists can i chill out and focus on my classwork pleas.#i mean actually i have gotten some shit done. but i have More to do still. and i should work on more things instead of Contemplating and #Feeling bad over and over in ways i knooowwww will not lead me anywhere new. but what if they do!! what if i stop thinking about things and #then one day i would have had some realization if only id thought more but i didnt!#like come on. theres more productive things i can be doing with my time than going back and forth about this. pleaseee. this will not lead #to anything new can i Please do something useful and not bad-feeling with my time instead #but also i should not avoid uncomfortable thoughts just because they feel bad.. itz Important to be uncomfortable sometimes in order to gro #hhhhhhhhhhhh. this has been my brain all day whenever im not sufficiently distracting myself with conversation or school work.#imagining and running through scenarios of what would happen if various strangers and friends found out and disliked me for some things #is Not a good or productive use of my time rn. i need to focus on not failing any classes Please

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orcelito · 6 months ago

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Actually we r at 6 months now without any major deaths in my life, which is great! That's the longest I've gone without any major deaths since last May! The second longest was 4 months between July and November last year. Wow !

#speculation nation #negative/#i mean not exactly but also. ya kno.#really i dealt with death after death in may july november and the biggest in february #actually i think my great grandma died within the span between july and november. but i wasnt close with her & dont remember when #so idk if id count that. if i did then the longest would be 3 months. between november and february.#all this is to say. wow what a Fucking year last year was huh #i still dont rly feel like i have much trust in people staying alive in my life.#but maybe im a bit less scared of even more people in my life suddenly dropping dead.#... then again now i apparently have something wrong with my liver. which i am still not happy about.#the only reason why im not dying of anxiety is bc i still feel relatively normal overall.#but i also just remembered how. well. 28 has Long been my unlucky number. and im turning 28 next year.#so ive been half convinced im just gonna die when im 28. bc thatd be just my luck wouldnt it #and like overall theres no real reason why i Would die at that age. but now theres something wrong with my liver.#and like ok i dont think it's liver failure. i dont have any real symptoms for it #and if it was an emergency my doctor wouldve told me to go to the hospital. probably.#but idk. my truest anxiety about it is that it could be something cancerous. or something.#and really i have no reason to suspect that specifically. it's just one of the potential causes for the enzyme abnormality we found #but bc it's not entirely off the table. well now my mind has latched onto it. and is like 'What If'#and ok i just now looked into possible liver diseases to try to calm my anxiety. with mixed success.#bc i found all sorts of liver diseases. including cirrhosis. which is irreversible damage.#im just clinging to the hope of the fact that my readings werent Too high... just.#every single one associated with the liver was high. which means theres Definitely something wrong with my liver.#and im kind of scared it's bc of my prior alcohol use. i wasnt an alcoholic but i did drink pretty regularly for a bit.#but also how unfair would it be for me to get a liver disease from that??? the most i ever drank at one time was 8 shots #which is a lot but there are some people doing that kind of thing Regularly. and they dont get liver disease???#regardless this has been extra persuasion to stay off the alcohol. especially until i know what's up with it.#heyyyy mr liver inside me i prommy i will take good care of u from now on. pls dont die on me 😭😭😭#see ok this is what happens whem i start to think. i get anxious. i just need to keep not thinking.#it's 10 pm i think thats a good time for sleepies

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tokyoteddywolf · 10 months ago

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22 isn't very much at all, I think.

#5am rambles #anyways ignore this as per usual im just thinking in a post that i'll delete soon. i just worry and writing it helps.#you ever wonder when you'll “grow up'? and then realize youre not even fully grown?#that theres still more to learn in life and that the mistakes you make are just that? mistakes?#that you are still so very very young in a world that is so very very old?#im almost 23. barely a quarter of my lifespan. im still a child in a way- my brain not fully formed.#you ever wonder how many mistakes you can make before you figure something out?#I dont know much of anything really. that's the sad part. and the adults who were supposed to help me learn... didnt.#i was failed. and now im a failure. at almost not quite 23 years old. Maybe i wont be a failure in another few years.#i still have a while to go before I die. I'm not going to waste time thinking about it. im just going to try my best.#I have time. I can learn. Grace and patience are not endless but damn if i dont try to figure things out #first step though is meds and therapy tho. we're done with the pity party. some things you just have to accept are okay #cuz my whole life i was taught that being emotional is a weakness. its pathetic and stupid to be upset or angry about anything.#any time i wanted to show i was upset or angry i was 'wrong'. i was 'selfish' and 'dramatic'#so i suppressed and pretended i was fine. that i wasnt weak and pathetic. that i was good and not an annoyance or burden.#i am not weak. i am not pathetic. i am fine i am fine i am fine you dont need to worry about the inconvenience at your door.#sometimes the shame is so much that i cant look at myself or even think i deserve help. that therapy is for people with real problems.#that i feel like ill just be told im like this for attention or dramatics. that im such a disappointment and selfish too.#ive been a “problem” my whole life to the point i dunno if i CAN be fixed. that anxiety eats me alive every day.#therapy is supposed to give you methods to cope #i dunno if it'll work though. I forget my appointments a lot. i struggle to talk sometimes. i may be autistic but its hard to get diagnosed.#emotions are so hard to figure out.

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autisticlee · 9 months ago

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having some sort of chronic pain and tiredness issue and joint problems and whatnot but not knowing exactly what the problem is is really good at leading you feeling like you're faking it or making a big deal out of nothing or making it up. especially if there's a good day where it's not as bad and you can walk straight without limping for the first time in a year. but then you can wake up the next day and can barely walk and wonder why you can't just walk normal. it's hard to not guilt trip yourself into dealing with pain by trying to ignore it and force yourself to walk "normal" all the time