#emotions are so hard to figure out.
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
tokyoteddywolf Ā· 9 months ago
Text
22 isn't very much at all, I think.
#5am rambles#anyways ignore this as per usual im just thinking in a post that i'll delete soon. i just worry and writing it helps.#you ever wonder when you'll ā€œgrow up'? and then realize youre not even fully grown?#that theres still more to learn in life and that the mistakes you make are just that? mistakes?#that you are still so very very young in a world that is so very very old?#im almost 23. barely a quarter of my lifespan. im still a child in a way- my brain not fully formed.#you ever wonder how many mistakes you can make before you figure something out?#I dont know much of anything really. that's the sad part. and the adults who were supposed to help me learn... didnt.#i was failed. and now im a failure. at almost not quite 23 years old. Maybe i wont be a failure in another few years.#i still have a while to go before I die. I'm not going to waste time thinking about it. im just going to try my best.#I have time. I can learn. Grace and patience are not endless but damn if i dont try to figure things out#first step though is meds and therapy tho. we're done with the pity party. some things you just have to accept are okay#cuz my whole life i was taught that being emotional is a weakness. its pathetic and stupid to be upset or angry about anything.#any time i wanted to show i was upset or angry i was 'wrong'. i was 'selfish' and 'dramatic'#so i suppressed and pretended i was fine. that i wasnt weak and pathetic. that i was good and not an annoyance or burden.#i am not weak. i am not pathetic. i am fine i am fine i am fine you dont need to worry about the inconvenience at your door.#sometimes the shame is so much that i cant look at myself or even think i deserve help. that therapy is for people with real problems.#that i feel like ill just be told im like this for attention or dramatics. that im such a disappointment and selfish too.#ive been a ā€œproblemā€ my whole life to the point i dunno if i CAN be fixed. that anxiety eats me alive every day.#therapy is supposed to give you methods to cope#i dunno if it'll work though. I forget my appointments a lot. i struggle to talk sometimes. i may be autistic but its hard to get diagnosed.#emotions are so hard to figure out.
3 notes Ā· View notes
gabelew Ā· 8 months ago
Text
Tumblr media
( />/</) ehehe
161 notes Ā· View notes
thatgoddamngingerundercut Ā· 9 months ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
and I begin to bloom like a lotus flower once again the Agust D trilogy
97 notes Ā· View notes
puppyeared Ā· 1 year ago
Text
its so hard to watch time pass when things like careers and assignments exist. what do you mean im supposed to take that seriously
#I have an assignment that was due a week ago and I really really dont want to do it. I have to but i dont want to#im probably making it worse because my brain has built a wall around it so now i canā€™t do literally anything else until thats done. but#because I donā€™t want to do it Iā€™m just kinda stuck. turns out this is what they meant when they said emotional regulation is part of#exec dysfunction.. Iā€™ll have a thought like if I get a little bit of it done now i can get it over with. I can just submit something#and then not even 5 minutes later itll be like ugh but I have to draw all the assets out. I have to write things and make spreads ugh#and its just flopping between those two things. i hate it when ppl are like well how much time do you need to work on one thing#because BOY id love to know too. Iā€™d love to know exactly when my brain wants to cooperate with me and work around that but I cant#even my period canā€™t decide when it wants to punch me in the stomach. which is kinda funny in the grand scheme of things but still#its so weird im just lying on my bed thinking abt all this like damn.. the time will pass anyways no matter what I decide to do.. damnā€¦.#if I submit that assignment now and take the L I literally wonā€™t die. itā€™ll just be a deduction on an assignment nobody will ask me about#I know this but Iā€™m still stressing myself about it so my thoughts arenā€™t really connecting to my body. weird#maybe its because Im having a hard time looking forward to things. theres definitely a lot I should be living for but I donā€™t really feel#a strong attachment to it I guess? itā€™s been like this for a while with holidays and meeting with friends so I just donā€™t#I kinda figured its because im pretty passionless and its more like passing interest. but itā€™s not very fun when it feels like Iā€™m going to#be living distraction to distraction for the next 70 years or so lol#idk it kind of feels like slowly bleeding out. which is funny because I actually did experience blood loss this week#had a 30 minute nosebleed and literally could not stand. also it felt like someone was pinching the back of my brain which was interesting#yapping#does this count as vent#vent#Ive just been making an oc carrd and contemplate changing my blog header for the past 3 days honestly
175 notes Ā· View notes
kaurwreck Ā· 3 months ago
Text
y'all stop saying fyodor has never looked so sincerely angry before. he has.
I know this because, and this is not an exaggeration, the vast majority of my manga revisits are to enjoy his expressions of anger, disdain, and malcontent. i shit you not, several of my bsd meta posts wholly unrelated to fyodor were written because I happened to notice something else while flipping through to imbibe fedya's hissy fits. I don't reread the manga when I do this, just those scenes, unless something else catches my attention.
anyway, stop disrespecting my beloved pastime.
33 notes Ā· View notes
tunaricebowl Ā· 1 year ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media
finally got my pics back from the lil shoot i did at the japanese gardens earlier this month c: i honestly didnt know what other pose to do but other than that i think these look super cool! itā€™s my very first cosplay as well so iā€™m still figuring out how to be photographed and stuff
322 notes Ā· View notes
aka-indulgence Ā· 7 months ago
Note
Tell us about "chapter 9" šŸ‘€
Heheheh itā€™s not really that mysterious but!! Iā€™m emotionally invested anyway!!! I love this fic with all my heart
ā€”ā€”
Your eyes were lidded. You were looking his way, but it didnā€™t look like you were looking at him. You looked like you were somewhere else. Did you even notice him?
There were tears in your eyes. You didnā€™t react to them.
The voices faded into silence. He approached you slowly.
ā€œheyā€¦ sunlight.ā€ He whispered. His voice was sweet, soft. Like approaching a butterfly that landed on your windowsill, making sure not to make any loud noises that might startle it.
His glitches faded away.
ā€œitā€™s ok, youā€™re ok.ā€ He reassured you.
He wasnā€™t sure if you were listening to him, but you calmed down.
ā€œ... you should go back to sleep, ok?ā€
You blinked slowly, sniffled, and rubbed your eyes. Maybe your subconscious understood him, because you turned back and closed the door with a click.
A sense of want filled his ribcage.
ā€œ... i love you,ā€ He murmured. ā€œone day, youā€™ll hear me.ā€
47 notes Ā· View notes
weirdmageddon Ā· 1 year ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
HER RIGHT ARM IS LITERALLT ON HIS HEART ITā€™S ACTUALLY SICK. NOT A BIT OF AIR BETWEEN THEM
341 notes Ā· View notes
kacievvbbbb Ā· 4 months ago
Text
Iā€™ve been rereading this lovely fic by @erinyra (itā€™s great I seriously recommend) and Iā€™ve been doing some thinking and I do think Mihawk should get sick and it could be just like a passing illness or bug but something that lays him out for a bit and while yes I think a sick Mihawk would be adorable and terrifying and I love that for me.
I also think itā€™d be a way for Shanks to confront his probably latent issues with illness and seemingly untouchable people. After all his captain was as untouchable as they come, literally king of the pirates, but he still got sick and that ruined Shanks life. And here it is happening all over again. Mihawk probably the strongest most unflappable person he knows is sick with some unknown disease (not really his anxiety riddled mind just canā€™t process what Hongo is saying) And Shanks is not handling itā€¦..well.
Shanks can withstand many things; any manner of injury or bodily harm to him and his loved ones thatā€™s fine they can walk it off. but illness? he does not fuck with illnessā€¦
31 notes Ā· View notes
anotherbummer Ā· 2 months ago
Text
I loved ā€œIm not sorry for loving youā€ because guess what bitch Iā€™ve been there too and Iā€™m not a bad person for relating to this song
Please stop hating on a character/song that people worked hard to create just because it doesnā€™t match your perspective of the character
23 notes Ā· View notes
tea-time-terrier Ā· 1 year ago
Text
Tumblr media
This creature has been smooched on her face and stuffed full of snacks <3
We qualified each rally obedience run (despite large areas requiring handler improvement <3) and finished the weekend with a 97, 84, and 97. This baby dog now has her Rally Advanced title!
(All rosettes were default as we were the only ones in our class.)
127 notes Ā· View notes
quadrantadvisor Ā· 3 months ago
Text
Sometimes I still think about The Owl House Gang all trying to watch ATLA together but then Zuko's backstory in The Storm retraumatizes Hunter so bad they have to stop
#luz is too young to have grown up with the show she just heard it was good#SHE DIDN'T KNOW GUYS#they all get super into it and the gaang and maybe even make some jokes about how Zuko reminds them of Hunter#and then suddenly it is Not Funny Anymore#they just straight up stop watching it because it was So Bad#and then months later Hunter is like '....... i really want to know where that show goes'#so they pick it up again#everytime Zuko makes a bad life decision Hunter is just dying inside#'your dad DOES NOT LOVE YOU YOU CAN DO BETTER'#season 2 is such an emotional rollercoaster#like zuko is figuring stuff out and seems like he's gonna redeem himself and everyone is getting so hype#because at this point they NEED to see this character get a happy ending because they have been throufh WAY TOO MUCH over him#and then in the season finale he regresses#the BETRAYAL#they are like wailing and rending their clothes like dudes in the bible#hunter just sitting there with his head in his hands#season 3 storyline with zuko at the fire palace is also massively triggering for him but he's being so normal about it#the rest of the squad on the copium like 'he can still turn this around guys'#secretly several of them have given up on him at this point but they can't admit that there's too much riding on this#and then zuko DOES IT but the scene is so tense that no one even feels like they can celebrate because they're all projecting way too hard#and then zuko redirects the lightning and they're like 'FUCK YEAH!!!!!!!!!!'#there is much crying at the finale#luz and amity kin assigned eachother as aang and katara so they're really happy when they get together#hunter like 'mostly this is making me glad I didn't have to become the political leader of The Boiling Isles as a traumatized 16 year old'#'can you imagine'#these tags were not supposed to be this long lmao#toh#atla#avatar#my rambles
14 notes Ā· View notes
spr1ng Ā· 2 months ago
Text
i feel so at peace but at the same time so chaotic and drained
10 notes Ā· View notes
varjopeura Ā· 17 days ago
Text
.
#idk i just. it would be so much easier to do Anything if i had any idea what amount of love is acceptable to show to other people#hanging out with people! talking to them! doing activities together! i like all of these things and i like the people i do them with#but it's always so hard to figure out where The Limits are#i know other people often aren't nearly as open to affection and closeness as i am#and i Very Much Do Not Want to make anyone uncomfortable with unwanted advances#i'm not sure how to communicate 'i will not get any closer than you wish me to' without the message coming across as 'i wish you didn't#come any closer to me'#because i feel like that's what i'm doing most of the time! pushing people away so they know i'm not trying to offend their personal space#and then i end up feeling miserable and left out and abandoned because no one gets as near me as i wish them to#idk idk just feels bad man#and like as much as i crave physical intimacy with people this also applies very much on emotional distance#generally i'd like to be a lot closer to the people in my life in every sense of those words#and i don't know how???#giving a compliment or offering a hug or inviting someone to a thing always makes me feel like some sort of monster#clumsy and unwanted and clueless about their horrid existence that is barely tolerated#why aren't there any clear rules to these things i could learn! so i could Fucking Communicate with people!!!#euuogggggh i'm just tired and frustrated and sad and haven't slept properly and it's been a long week at work#i think i'm doing better than what it sounds like here#maybe#sussitalk
9 notes Ā· View notes
enhanced-operatives-division Ā· 8 months ago
Note
i don't think you've made a solaris design yet.... but am i allowed to request solaris anyways. or will i get beaten with two billion hammers until i die. for this.
No hammers for you, these asks hold me accountable to actually design the characters...
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Filled a double page spread with just her...thus the 'Oops! All Solaris'
On THAT note, +2 sketchbook pages filled, 6/30 completed. I have 2 weeks until my hand in so I gotta pick up the pace. Blimey.
26 notes Ā· View notes
cursezoroark Ā· 4 months ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media
edens!
requested from @emissary-of-dog
14 notes Ā· View notes