#it took months but i figured out how to coordinate all of the tells and it worked i started getting stickers

[kaurwreck]

y'all stop saying fyodor has never looked so sincerely angry before. he has.

I know this because, and this is not an exaggeration, the vast majority of my manga revisits are to enjoy his expressions of anger, disdain, and malcontent. i shit you not, several of my bsd meta posts wholly unrelated to fyodor were written because I happened to notice something else while flipping through to imbibe fedya's hissy fits. I don't reread the manga when I do this, just those scenes, unless something else catches my attention.

anyway, stop disrespecting my beloved pastime.

[laseracronym]

hi there this is my first ever request and i'm kinda nervous lol

but i was wondering if the nsfw alphabet could be requested? if so could i request it with iida/chubby fem reader? & if not that's totally okay!

or if not maybe a smutty lil drabble where he's completely feral for chubby reader (i know he's very prim & proper, but just something about him going crazy/being a whiny mess for reader's pussy does something for my little goblin brain)

thank you & i hope you have a good day! 🍄

(Laser: omg I'm so honored to be your first request! I decided to do the drabble for now, but I'll definitely do the NSFW alphabet as well one of these days. Though, it's no longer a drabble, I really got into it. Iida really needs more love!

I hope you enjoy!)

Iida/Chubby!Fem!Reader (NSFW)

Dating a high-profile hero like Tenya meant that at least once a month, you were dressing up in something fancy and spending the evening at his side as you attended some important dinner or event involving other important figures in the industry. You didn't mind it, not at all. You were a sociable type, and you also worked with heroes because of your career in the hero support field. Half of the time, these events felt less like business and more like catching up with friends and interesting acquaintances.

Besides, you really liked dressing up. It wasn't often you got to feel glamorous, holed up in your workshop sweating over prototypes and making repairs. Sometimes it was nice to set the work gloves aside, wash off the grease, and get all dolled up.

Tonight was a charity gala hosted by Commission President Takami, and you were at Tenya's side like always. You were particularly happy with tonight's outfit. You bought a new dress that was a deep dark blue, almost black, form fitting, and when you moved, the light would catch on some subtle gold detailing in the fabric. You matched it with some killer heels and jewelry Tenya had gifted you over the years. Your hair and makeup was perfect, and you'd even gotten your nails done (a rare treat because of your work) which you had to stop from admiring every time they caught your eye.

You felt so pretty, and Tenya thought so, too.

You had to arrive separately that evening, Tenya getting held up with an incident that needed his last-minute assistance. When he saw you waiting for him out in front of the venue, he nearly tripped over his own feet. He had that tell-tale blush up his neck and to his ears and you watched his Adam's apple bob as his eyes flitted up and down your figure in your tight dress.

He cleared his throat, tugging at the tie around his neck as he took a moment to compose himself. "(Name)! You look...splendid," he said as he approached you, his eyes full of admiration. It was obvious he was struggling to put all his thoughts into one simple word. You'd clearly wowed him tonight.

You smiled wide, pleased that you’d blown him away. "Thank you! You look good, too," as he came to a stop before you, you could appreciate just how amazing he looked in a suit. It was a sight you would never tire of, how his broad shouldered, muscular body seemed to be made for formal wear. He'd coordinated his suit to match your outfit, and it made you even more excited to be dressed up tonight.

"Thanks, honey," he pressed a kiss to your temple, the contact brief and chaste. He often kept PDA to a minimum, it was just the way he was. You didn't mind, you understood there was a time and place for everything, and he was plenty affectionate in private.

When he pulled back, he took another moment to look at you, and his glasses did little to hide the desire in his red eyes. It made your heart skip a beat. He gave a little sigh, lifting his hand to brush the back of his knuckles along your cheek, "honestly, I don't know how I'm going to be able to focus tonight with you next to me, looking like this," he said quietly, almost as if he were talking to himself.

You felt your face heat up, suddenly bashful at the admission. But before you could reply, Tenya had his hand placed lightly between your shoulder blades and he was guiding you inside.

The rest of the night went as expected. Lots of listening to speeches and mingling, some catching up with the people you knew. All the while, Tenya was his polite, proper self. He kept you close, but his hands never strayed anywhere inappropriate, he lavished you with compliments and fond smiles but nothing too heated.

To anyone else, Tenya might not have seemed very affected, but you knew him, and you knew he was enamored by your appearance tonight.

There was a tension to him in the set of his shoulders, and a restlessness belied by the tapping of his finger against his champagne glass. His eyes lingered on you just a tad too long before he seemed to catch himself and look away. By the end of the night, you could tell he was eager to leave.

You two said your goodbyes and exited the venue, entering an elevator to get back to the ground floor.

As the doors of the elevator closed, leaving the two of you alone for the first time that evening, you felt Tenya's strong arms wrap around you from behind, the hard line of his body pressing against your back. His hands pressed to your stomach, giving a light squeeze.

You blinked, feeling his face press into the top of your head, his shuddering breath soaking into your body, "...Tenya?"

"Sorry, (Name), I'm just..." he took in another deep breath, pulling you even closer to him, his hands kneading your stomach almost absently, "I've been thinking about you all evening. It feels rude, but I'm not sure if I heard a word anyone said. All I could think about was how you look in this dress, all I wanted was to take you back home and do things I shouldn't think about in public."

You could feel a light thrumming from his body, a result of his engine quirk, a sign of his excitement. He grew semi-hard as he spoke, his arousal pressing against your back. His voice had a growing neediness to it, and in response, heat pooled, slow and sweet, between your legs. You licked your lips, resting your hands atop his, your thumbs brushing along his knuckles.

"Let's go home, Tenya," you said, hot desire coating your voice. You tilted your head up, back against his chest, and smiled up at him, "and we'll take care of you."

Getting home was sweet agony. Despite the promise of what awaited him at home, Tenya would not drive above the speed limit, ever the rule-follower. He didn't seem particularly happy about it, either, which made it even funnier to you despite your own impatience.

Eventually, blessedly, you made it home. As soon as you stepped through the front door, Tenya was sweeping you off your feet.

You gasped, your arms going around his strong shoulders as he held you bridal style and all but marched towards the bedroom. It never failed to turn you on, just how easily he could pick you up and carry you around. You were by no means petite, but that didn't pose a problem to Tenya. In fact, he seemed to prefer it in a lot of ways.

He laid you down on your bed, climbing on top of you and kissing you immediately. Neither of you had even had the chance to remove your shoes, that was how impatient he was to taste you. He covered you with his body, slotting himself between your legs. One hand cradled your face, the other wandered your plush curves. As his hips pressed against yours, you could feel his hardening length nudge up against your core.

“I’m sorry, (Name),” he murmured between his insistent kisses. His face was flushed, his glasses askew, “I don’t know what’s come over me.” His hand slid under your dress, caressing and squeezing your soft skin.

You giggled softly, returning his kisses, “you have nothing to apologize for…” He made it seem as though this was unusual for him to get this worked up, but it wasn’t. When he got in a particular mood, Tenya could become quite needy, and you loved him for it. You carefully removed his glasses, twisting and trying to reach the nightstand so you could safely set them aside, but he didn’t want to be apart from you for even a second, catching your wrist and drawing your attention back to him. You released his glasses, letting them get lost somewhere on the bed.

“I need you,” he said, such desperation in his voice, kissing from your lips down to your neck and cleavage, smudging your lipstick all the way. He pushed the hem of your dress, up, up, up, until it bunched beneath your breasts. His hands smoothed over your stomach, one of his favorite features of yours, and his hips rutted against you.

“Mmm…” you squirmed beneath him, your eyes fluttering as his hips pushed against your clit, stimulating you through all the layers of clothing. He was so perfect like this, so hot when he lost his composure. Such a sight was just for you, and you would hoard it greedily.

“Tenya, love, get those clothes off,” you ordered breathlessly, and he was eager to obey, hurriedly ridding himself of his clothing with your help. Your mouth watered at the sight of his cock, hard and weeping pre-cum for you, the way it begged for your attention just like the rest of him. You reached out, wrapping your hand around it, and Tenya whined so sweetly.

You smiled at him, stroking slowly, twisting your wrist just so, and he responded with a throaty groan. His engines revved, and he moved to hover over you, gently guiding you back.

“I need you,” he kept saying, your dress was bunched up even further, exposing your breasts, he palmed at one, “I need inside of you, need to feel you,” he reached down, giving the waist of your panties a questioning, pleading tug, “please, (Name)?”

You nodded, “yes, Tenya, of course, sweetheart,” you lifted your hips slightly and he removed your underwear while you removed your dress, peeling it up over your head without bothering to unzip it.

It felt so good to feel him without any barriers, and he pressed into you. A wet, delicious glide that had you both moaning.

“(Name), (Name)… you feel so good…” Tenya murmured, his face nuzzling into the side of your head. He had a firm grip on your outer thigh, keeping your leg secure over his hip. His other hand braced against the mattress as he began to thrust into you at a hurried pace, pushing sweet sounds out of you as your normally patient lover gave in to his pent up lust.

“Mm, Tenya,” you gasped out, holding onto him, panting into his ear, “yes, love, yes…!” Your body bounced with the rhythm of his thrusts, your head tossed back against the mattress, and you could do little more than let him do what he wanted.

His hands began wandering your body, worshiping your curves with his touch. He babbled nonsense into your skin as he pressed distracted kisses wherever he could reach. Sweat coated his body, and you marveled at each flex of gorgeous muscle beneath his skin.

His thrusts became more insistent, his hold on you tightening, it wasn’t a surprise to you when he came with one final thrust, filling you to the brim. Tenya held you in place, his own body still, as he panted against your sweat-slick shoulder. You panted beneath him, hands restlessly stroking his biceps, your pussy stuffed but still craving release.

With a long, slow breath, he relaxed, the frenetic energy from before finally soothed. He lifted his head, a painfully tender smile on his face as he kissed your cheek, “that was...perfect, honey,” his voice was warm, his hand drifting up and down your side.

“I’m glad, sweetheart,” you said fondly, letting out a soft noise of surprise as he lifted your lower body, arranging you effortlessly into an angle that you knew would have you seeing stars. You could already feel him growing hard again inside of you, his stamina like nothing else.

He looked down at you with a heated grin that made your heart flutter, “now allow me to return the favor.” He leaned down, folding himself over you, “let me take care of you, (Name).”

(Requests)

[batsandbirdbrains]

The one where Artemis is a Schoolyard Bully

This one’s not actually all that specific I just had the idea of Dick slowly but surely realizing that Artemis is, in fact, bullying him while they’re both at Gotham Academy. She has no clue Dick Grayson and Robin are the same person. It’s still season 1 of young justice and Dick just keeps having a harder and harder time being nice to Artemis when they’re at Mount Justice or training or on a mission, because for whatever reason she has latched onto Dick Grayson and tormented him pretty much every day for months now.

The only consolation is that Robin consistently kicks Artemis’ ass during training and it’s so intensely satisfying knocking her on her ass when she called him a circus freak and threw peanuts at him in the hallway not three hours prior.

He doesn’t know why she doesn’t like him. He’s 13, he skipped a grade, he’s a freshman, he has almost no interaction with her. They’re not in any of the same classes. Their lockers are nowhere near each other. Sure, he took a silly photo with her in the first day of school, but that shouldn’t have led to her singling him out as her new victim.

But then eventually she moves on from just mocking him and his dead parents and his “sugar daddy Brucie Wayne” (and that last one almost made him actually puke bc ew gross) and now she’s getting physical. Throwing things at him in the halls. Shoving his head into the side of his locker. Knocking his backpack or his books down onto the floor. Throwing a sandwich at his head. The peanuts are her favorite though, probably because they’re circus-related. And it makes his blood boil that she talks shit about the circus and his parents but he tries to remain level headed and tell himself that she must be going through a lot in her personal life and that’s why she’s being so mean.

Except she’s perfectly fine at the mountain with the team. He tries not to analyze it too much.

But then one Friday, Robin doesn’t show up for training after school. And the next day, he’s clearly pissed as he slips into the living room area where everyone is lounging before training. He has a sleek black cast on his right arm, from his knuckles to just above his elbow, a sling around his shoulder.

“What happened to you?” Wally asks, rushing over to him.

“An asshole happened,” he says through clenched teeth. “Leave it alone.”

“Dude, are you okay?”

Dick just wants to get this training shit over with. Bruce has been busy coordinating with the Gotham Academy dean of students, trying to figure out what happened to Dick and reviewing security footage.

Everyone else seems to notice his new accessory, and Dick almost screams in pure frustration when Artemis actually looks concerned. Of course she would. Why would her friend and teammate be the same kid she pushed down the stairs not even 24 hours ago?

“Jeez, what happened to you, Boy Blunder?”

Her voice grates in his nerves.

Also do I wanna add Donna to this fic? I think I wanna add Donna. Dick needs his wonder twin in the situation I think that would be fun.

Because Donna is one of the very few who knows Dick and Bruce’s secret identities, and she’s glowering at Artemis when she gets too close to Dick. She knows all about how Artemis has been bullying him all school year, and now he’s actually gotten physically hurt because of it and she’s pissed.

“Why don’t you just leave him alone?” She snaps at her, putting her arm around Dick’s shoulders and guiding him to where they’re going to all meet up with Black Canary for training. Not that Dick can do much, but you know, he has to make an appearance and all that.

Everyone thinks Donna is just being protective of him because he’s hurt. It’s not entirely wrong.

Dick and Donna remain separated from the group for a few days, the two of them having started pulling away from Wally a bit when he started dating Artemis. Dick didn’t want to tell Wally about the school bully shit, but he can’t be around him when he won’t stop talking about how amazing Artemis is. It’s makes him wanna gag.

Then the next Friday, after a week of Artemis still poking and prodding at Dick at school even though she knows she broke his arm and dislocated his shoulder, Dick feels like he’s going to explode when she’s been cracking jokes all evening long.

“Let’s have a sleepover or something, you can show me that dumb video game you want me to play,” Donna suggests quietly, a hand on Dick’s good shoulder and her other hand tucking his hair behind his ear.

But Conner hears it, and he starts questioning them on why Donna seems to know Robin outside of the mask. A couple of the others chime in too, and suddenly everyone is surrounding the two of them, and Artemis loudly complains about Robin not trusting them.

“Oh fuck off,” he scoffs. Then he says in the most mocking tone he can muster, “Suck my dick.”

Donna snorts, and she tries so hard not to laugh too much, but she can’t get over the pun and how he’s shoving his real name in their faces, especially at the way Artemis scowls.

But then they’re interrupted when Artemis’ phone rings, and it’s her mom, and suddenly she’s yelling and freaking out because her Wayne Foundation scholarship just got revoked and she’s been expelled from Gotham Academy. Donna smirks at Dick, the two of them sharing a silent little victorious moment, until Artemis gets off the phone and lets out a shaking breath and tries to explain to her friends why she got expelled (she’s leaving out all the real details, not that Dick or Donna are particularly shocked).

“Oh no,” Dick says with overly feigned sympathy. “That must be so hard for you. Can’t imagine what must’ve happened. I’m sure you’ve never done anything wrong ever to deserve such a thing.”

And Artemis still hasn’t figured out that Robin is the boy she’s been bullying for months, and Robin just scoffs. Then Donna pulls him towards the zeta tubes and they go back to the Manor and Dick shows her a video game he’s been wanting her to play for a while now (it’s single player, so his lack of use in one of his hands is fine because he’s just watching her play and giving her tips and laughing at all the antics she’s getting her player into).

Idk when he’d finally tell her he’s Dick, if he ever wouldn’t this situation, but it’s a fun angsty AU to think about.

[moolovesyou]

winter break | angus tully x reader

a/n: writing this as a bounce back from the 5 hours of writing i deleted on accident. expect that to be rewritten sometime but not soon bc im sad abt it. this took way too long. could you tell that I am writing this from a place that does NOT snow?

s: a festive day in the life with your childhood best friend angus tully.

w: cursing, angus's dad mention, slightest angst okay.

wc: 4.3k.

Christmas lights got put up a couple weeks too early. The snow has piled up a few inches. All the stores play jolly music. Nights consist of hot chocolate and a need for a baked cookie. The evening is dark and still.

It's that time of the year when I wake up and the birds haven't chirped a 'hello'. There is this weird feeling I get in December. I know it comes every year, but I still get surprised at the foreign silence of a winter morning.

I slip out of bed. The floor is cold against the soles of my feet. A single glance outside the window and I could barely recognize my backyard under the layer of pearly white snow.

Today isn't just any day in December. It's the first official day of winter break from Wickline Academy. The possibilities of things to do in my leisure are endless. Holiday movies, festive dancing, genuine productive chores (boring). But, there's only one goal I have.

Today, I'm going to put up the Christmas tree. It's gonna be a blast. I can put one of my records on the record player to set the mood. I can color coordinate the ornaments. The wrapping of the lights around the tree is my favorite part. That's what I'm going to do.

Or at least, that was what I was going to do. Until there was a knock at my door.

I shimmied over to the front door. I could barely see the silhouette, but a tall figure stood on the other side. With a slow twist of the knob, I pulled open the door.

Shivering like a chihuahua was Angus Tully. He was stood on my doorstep with pink cheeks and crossed arms. It seems he had just woken up, still wearing plaid pajama pants and white shirt. His hair was all frizzy and tousled.

You see, this was a bit of a surprise.

Sure, Angus Tully has been my neighbor since I could pull up my own pants. My parents saw him as their own. We had lots of hang outs in my backyard growing up. He was the only kid on the block who would genuinely want to play with me. He was the sweetest and craziest at the same time. One day he had dropped my bright pink bunny plush into a dirty puddle. All I remember was him hugging me while I cried. I even remember a few of the Christmases when his dad still had his last shred of sanity. One time he had to spend Christmas Eve with us because his dad had locked him out of the house in fear that he was an intruder. That was one of the last Christmases with him.

The thing is we've grown now. We don't spend as much time together. Especially after Stanley came into the picture and his mom was never home for any of the breaks. He'd always be at Barton. I would be lying if I said I didn't miss him and his witty demeanor. So, to see him on my doorstep after months of zero genuine conversation left me just a little shocked.

"Are you gonna let me in? I'm freezing my sack out here." Tully huffed, snapping me out of my inquisitive daze. His brown eyes were wide, but they had that traditional puppy stare. The stare that always held the phrase 'please'. He got away with a lot of stuff as a kid because of that.

I stepped aside and rushed him inside.

"Are you out of your mind, Tully? I'm not gonna be responsible if you turn into an icicle." I sat him on my couch and wrapped a blanket around him.

"An attitude like that puts you on the naughty list, Y/N." He smiled cheekily. His eyes still squinted when he grinned. It was reassuring. I guess that never changed.

I rolled my eyes, "Hello, Angus. How are you doing?" I spoke in a mocking tone. He poked his tongue out at me.

"I'm doing better now that I'm here. What about you?" He hugged the blanket tighter around himself. I narrowed my gaze at him.

"I'm feeling very confused because the last time you came to my house you still didn't know how to tie a tie." I scoffed. Maybe, just maybe, I was a little upset. Angus had a hard childhood. He had to leave a lot of things behind. I just wish one of those things wasn't me.

The truth is I still saw him around. Barton academy held events with Wickline Academy. We would say a small 'hi' here and there at choir recitals and fundraisers. I couldn't help but feel like he had gotten too cool for me. Now, here he was, sat in my living room in the middle of December.

His face scrunched up. A bit of guilt rested in his furrowed brows. He pushed a curly strand out of his eye.

"I'm here to fix that." Angus exhaled. His pink lips pursed in concentration. "I'm sorry, Y/N. Things just went by too fast. Too fast for me to comprehend. I had a wake up call last winter break though."

I raised a brow.

"You have every reason to be upset. I'll just have to say sorry a bajillion times for every reason." He scratched his stubbly chin. "Friends? Again?"

I stared at him. He batted his eyelashes comically. Oh, whatever. It's Angus, after all. When we were 10, I never lasted more than 5 minutes of being mad at him. I sighed dramatically.

"Friends."

He jumped up with a holler. His arms stretched up into the air, throwing the blanket onto the couch cushions. He had definitely grown. I glanced down to see his shirt had lifted slightly, exposing his pale skin and a cheeky little happy trail. My breath hitched.

I can't deny the butterflies fluttering aggressively in my stomach. As a kid, I had the slightest crush on him. He had me kicking my feet on the swing set as he pushed me. I had buried that down though with insults and insecurity building remarks. But, once again, we're not kids anymore. An insult from Angus Tully right now might actually make me like him more.

"Wait, so is that it? You could've just called me." I looked up at him. With how much I have to crane my neck to make eye contact with him, I hope I get a chiropractor for Christmas.

His smile grew. It went from a genuine grin, to something downright mischievous.

"Of course there's more. Y/N, it's the first day of winter break. With our newfound rekindling relationship, we must adventure. Carpe diem." Angus sung with excitement. He reached his hand out to me. Slim fingers and trimmed nails.

"Will you join me?"

"A lot of exhausting requests today, Tully." I joked.

"That's not an answer." He raised his brows.

"What's the plan? I mean, where are we going today?"

"Leave that to me." He winked. "Now, what do you say?"

I bit my lip.

"Okay."

"Okay?"

"Okay! I'll join you." I laughed. He laughed with me. It was a genuine laugh. It came from his chest, rumbling and echoing in the room. It was a sound I had missed. The birds were missing on this silent morning, but this filled that void right up.

On that note, Angus Tully went back to his house to get ready (only when I physically pushed him out the door). I glanced at the bare Christmas tree screaming to be adorned. I guess you'll have to wait.

Without the spinning whirlpool that is Angus Tully in the room, it had finally settled in my head. I was going to spend a whole day with Angus. Sharp-witted, cocky, childhood best friend Angus. My heart hasn't slowed down since I saw him at the door.

We had agreed to meet on my porch once again in 30 minutes. The weather was exceptionally. . . tit-freezing today. I put on the thickest coat in my closet, the softest pair of mittens, a pair of particularly unattractive fleece pants, and the chunkiest rain boots in my closet. My only scarf, the ratty and aged pink scarf, was nowhere to be found when repetitive obnoxious knocking brought me rushing downstairs.

I threw the door open. Angus stood, slightly out of breath, with a shit-eating grin plastered on his red face.

"You ready?" He nodded towards the snow.

"Can I at least get a sneak preview to your journey, captain?" I questioned. He pursed his lips once again, scratching his neck.

"Just for you." Angus teased, nudging me with his shoulder. I bit my lip to prevent the growing smile from showing. "First on the list, we must sculpt."

"What?"

Angus pointed to the snowy ground. He shifted his arms to form a big circle. Then, branched his arms out like a tree. I squinted my eyes. Tully threw his arms up in defeat.

"A snowman!" He yelped.

"What are we, 7?" I giggled.

"For today, fuck yeah."

The snow had started to fall on us. His curls were covered by the glassy flakes. He covered his face with his gloved hands, blowing his hot breath for any morsel of warmth. Then, he got to work.

Angus did all the dirty work. He'd heave these big piles of freezing snow, while I patted it down. It was like watching a gazelle. He would skip around my lawn from pile to pile. My cheeks were practically frozen in a smile. He dropped the second pile of snow, the torso of our fucked little snowman, onto the bottom portion.

"Look at you Tully. Not a little prepubescent kid anymore." I snarked at him. His red cheeks burned impossibly brighter.

"Don't act like you aren't swooned." Angus said, with another one of his award-winning smiles. He pretended to flex his biceps. My heart was truly taunted by him. How did he grow up to be so. . . utterly mesmerizing? I shouldn't be thinking about him like this. It was admiration with an aftertaste of guilt.

We finally put the head of the snowman on. This little guy stood at 4 feet tall and veered slightly to the left. Tully had found the two girthiest sticks on the lawn, and announced our snowman 'super jacked'. We used rocks to craft a face.

"Put it there." Angus whined.

"What? No! Our snowman is gonna look sad."

"Of course he is! he's made from the floor. Don't stomp on my creativity."

We bickered like that for a while. Ultimately, we settled on the wonky, depressed snowman. The frown was far too spaced out. The 'eyes' were two pinecones facing in complete opposite directions. Angus had the bright idea of poking a hole in the face for the nose. We stepped back to admire our art.

"What should we name it?" I glanced up at Angus. His hands rested in his pockets as he hunched over slightly.

"Walleye." He mumbled. I thought he was joking but his face was solemn.

"Walleye it is." I smiled at him. "What now?"

Before I could turn, a swift damp ball of snow crashed into the side of my face. I gasped. Angus's face was feigned with innocence, but his mittens were still moist.

"You little-" I huffed and charged at him.

"I'M NOT SORRY!" Angus hollered, attempting to run away. His lanky legs got the best of him however, when he tripped over a stick hidden in the snow. He ate a face full of snow. I howled in laughter, falling to my knees beside him.

"Are you okay?" I snorted. I lifted his head by his hair out of the ground. He rested his head on his arms. Snow was stuck to his face. "You got a little something."

I reached my hand forward, wiping the snow off his face. His eyes stayed open, never dropping his gaze from me. Even through my mittens, I could feel the heat radiating off his cheeks. The more he looked at me through his lashes, the more trouble I had breathing. His eyes scanned me quizzically, until his head perked up.

"You're missing your scarf."

"Yeah." I spoke barely above a whisper. "You remember that thing?"

"Of course." He said matter-of-factly, but with a soft sense of pride.

We sat in the cold snow for a second reminiscing on that fact. I remember getting dressed by my parents, almost always trying to dart out the door without my scarf and coat to see Angus.

"We should go inside before we freeze over solid here." Angus stood up, brushing the snow off of his clothes. He grabbed my hands and lifted me to my feet. We ran inside shivering.

The two of us sat on the couch in front of the fireplace. We huddled together, but not too close. I fear if I sat shoulder to shoulder I might combust into fiery shreds of teenage hormones.

"Sooo. . . Should I make us some hot chocolate?" I offered. He turned to me. Our faces were somewhat close. Closer than I've ever been with anyone else. I could feel his breath wafting into my face. It was minty. He blinked slowly, eyeing me in a glossed over daze.

He snapped out of it. "Um- Yeah. Yes. Sorry." Angus muttered. I sat for for a couple more seconds.

"Can I suggest something for our adventure?" I chewed on my lip.

"Hmmm. . . Sorry, what was that? I don't think I was properly addressed." He turned away and held his hand to his ear, sitting up straight. He was still a snobby little kid.

"Can we decorate the Christmas tree, Captain?" I sat up, sauntering over to the tree.

Angus groaned, "But that's boring."

My jaw dropped in shock. Of course Tully, master of chaos and strife, would say that.

"Alright then, freeze on the couch with no hot chocolate for all I care."

Before I knew it, Angus was pulling the boxes of lights and ornaments out. He was truly like a dog at my beck and call. He eagerly accepted his mug of hot chocolate, slightly burning his tongue when he tried to chug it. I'd put three marshmallows on top just like how he used to like, which he immediately noticed and ranted on about the superiority of a hot chocolate with marshmallows.

"Can I play some music?" Angus questioned, wiping the milky mustache accumulating on his lip.

"Sure, I'll get started." I nodded at him.

Angus walked over to my shelf of records. He would proclaim his distaste or endless love for random albums. He did a lot more talking than picking a song. He was surprisingly gentle, carefully handling the vinyl.

The lights were wrapped helter-skelter around the tree by the time Angus picked a record to play. He'd picked one of my dad's Christmas albums. Specifically Herb Alpert's Christmas album. He clapped his hands together and stood beside me.

"How can I help?"

"Use that so-called creativity, mister." I scoffed, starting at the bottom of the tree and tying a few glittery baubles to the branches.

He rolled his eyes and crouched down beside me. We tied and hung the ornaments in silence, with the occasional hum from me. Angus bounced his foot along to the rhythm of the song, curls bouncing as his head bopped slightly.

After a while, we had covered the tree top to bottom in an assortment of rainbow colored baubles and shitty handmade crafts from elementary school.

"What is that?" I pointed. There was a pair of low hanging green baubles on the bottom of the tree hung way too close to each other.

"What?" Angus crossed his arms and furrowed his brows. "You don't like my work?"

"It looks like an elephant's nut sack." I cackled, throwing my head back. He shoved me with his shoulder.

"Shut up! Put the star on the tree."

I grabbed the golden tree topper from the bottom of the 'decorations' labeled box. I stretched my hand upwards, just barely reaching the tip of the tree.

"Here, let me help." Angus grabbed the topper from my hand. He leaned forward, his chest pressed softly against my back. His hand hovered with a feather-like touch on my hip for stability. My chest rose anxiously at the touch. He placed the star on the top of the tree, slightly askew. Then, he crouched down behind the tree, his hand leaving my hip.

With a small 'click!', the lights on the tree turned on. They were a soft glow and flickered with age. A few of the bulbs had been burnt out and didn't light up. Nevertheless, it was perfect. It screamed 'Angus & I'. I glanced over at Angus, but he was already looking at me.

"Do you like it?"

He stared at me for what felt like forever, a small smile playing on his lips. He had a single perfect curl draped on his forehead that he pushed to the side desperately. He looked at the tree for a second, then right back at me..

"Yeah." His gaze dropped to look at his feet. "Yeah, I like it."

I stood there admiring the tree. Glitter and bits of garland had stuck to our hands. The sun had begun to set. The tree only glowed brighter. All that flowed in the air was the instrumental of a holiday jazz song. Even after years of knowing each other, he made me more nervous than ever.

"I have one more stop on our adventure." Angus interrupted my thoughts. He licked his chapped lips.

"Where to?" I chewed on the inside of my cheek in anticipation.

"Well, it's not really a destination." He sighed. "Just wanted to take a walk and look at the Christmas decorations."

"A relatively calm way to end the night, Tully. I would've thought you'd have us robbing Santa's elves." I snickered.

"I'm trying to appeal to your ways here." He fiddled with his fingers. "Let's go."

We put our boots and gloves on at the door. I was about to step outside when Angus put his hand on my shoulder.

"Wait."

"Hm?"

He grabbed his scarf from the coat rack. Instead of wrapping it around himself, he lifted the fabric up and draped it around my neck. He pulled and tugged on the cloth to cover as much of my skin as possible. His brows knitted in concentration as he fixed it. I couldn't look away from him. My face burned up.

"Perfect." He clapped his mittened hands together, proceeding to open the door for me. I couldn't even mutter a 'thank you'.

One thing is having a romantic experience with some random guy from Barton. Another thing is the possibility of Angus Tully liking me. The latter was unbelievable. This type of thing didn't happen. But the way he looked at me and lingered around, made me question the feelings between us.

The sky was completely dark by now. We decided we would walk around the block until we circled back to my house. It seems the neighborhood went all out this year. Every house had hundreds lights that must've annihilated their light bill. Angus was adorably in awe.

"Look at that house! They've got fucking Rudolph." Angus thrilled as he pointed at a 3 foot tall reindeer statue.

Every home had a different atmosphere. Some houses were silent with warm lights twinkling. Others had a bumpy vibe with jazzy music and the silhouettes of partygoers in the windows.

"Holy shit." Angus mumbled. "Look at that house."

It must've been the brightest house on the block. It wasn't obnoxious or anything. It was a blue colored house, but you could barely tell with the colors illuminating it. The lights flickered and glowed with rainbow hues. They wrapped around the porch and the trees on the lawn. Piano instrumental played from inside the house. It stopped us in our tracks.

I looked over at Angus who was staring at the house. He was hypnotized. His face was colored by the iridescent bulbs. His nose was highlighted by a green glow. Blue and red splashed on his cheekbones. Oh, and his eyes. Those puppy pleading eyes were twinkling with every possible color in the spectrum. He looked so pretty.

He was the kind of beauty that had me overwhelmed. I felt like I couldn't breathe. He turned to look at me. The snow had begun to fall from the sky again. A single tuft of snow landed on my nose. Angus reached his gloved hand and swiped the flake off the tip of my nose. He left his hand lingering on my chin for a second, before dropping it limply. He gulped, averting his eyes from my gaze.

"Fuck. . ." Angus sighed, shaking his head. He looked back up at me, eyes flickering between my eyes and the snow falling on my face. "You look beautiful."

I inhaled a sharp gust of cold air. Did I?

"Do you mean that?" I questioned.

Angus scoffed, "Of fucking course I mean it. Why would you ask that?"

"Because why would you say that?" My lip quivered. It was confusing. We were friends, but then we weren't. Now, here we are again. But, it might be more than that? It's what I wanted but I couldn't be selfish.

Angus thinned his lips. He rubbed his forehead. The lights glowed on the right side of his face.

"You- It's. . . It's complicated, okay? Shit. It's not like I never thought that. I-. . . I always did. Y/N, you have always looked like and been. . . a fucking angel. Maybe I didn't want to ruin you either." He rambled. His fingers tugged on the buttons of his coat worriedly.

"Ruin me?" I repeated.

"Yeah. It's no surprise there. I'm Angus. The guy doesn't know when to shut the fuck up and pisses people off. You're Y/N. The girl who's been out of my league since we were seven. You're too good for me. I don't want to mess you up like I messed up myself."

"Shut up." I gritted my teeth.

He squinted his eyes at me, his mouth agape.

"What?"

"Shut the fuck up, Angus." I pointed my finger at his chest. His eyes flickered down. "You're Angus. You know what that means? It means you were the first kid to stand up for me when that walking shit-rag Kountz threw spitballs at me. It means you are the only person that makes me laugh so hard, snot ejects out of my nose. It means you're the only person in the whole world who woke up and immediately came to see me. If that's not good enough for me, then I'll settle for less."

He stood in utter shock. His eyes had watered slightly. Every time he breathed I could see the hot air blowing out into the freezing air. I put my hands on his shoulders. My fingers trembled with fear. I couldn't take it anymore.

It hadn't even been one day and Angus Tully had completely took my heart for a spin.

"Angus, I think I like you." My voice quivered as I whispered. He blinked slowly. He looked like he forgot how to breathe.

Angus took his mittens off. He reached forward, putting his cold hands on either side of my face. His thumb caressed my cheekbone.

"And I think I love you, Y/N." He smiled.

I don't know what love is. I'm only a teenager. But I think I can guess by the way Angus Tully loved me. My veins pumped with adoration for him. My lungs needed him to breathe. My hands needed his to hold.

He draped his hands around my torso, pulling me in for a hug. His head rested comfortably atop mine. My face pressed against his chest. I could hear each 'thump'. I let my hands rest at the bottom of his back. His hands rubbed my back soothingly. It was a securing hug. I felt at home.

We walked hand in hand the rest of the way back home in silence. My mind had finally settled a bit. All I craved now was to be impossibly close to him.

When we reached my house, the night was clearly nearing its end. I stood on the top of my porch. Angus stood on the steps beneath me. He looked up at me with a loving smile.

"Thanks for the adventure, Captain." I pushed his curls out of his face.

"It was my pleasure." Angus chippered.

"Oh!" I pulled the Angus-scented fabric off my neck, holding it out to him. "Here's your scarf back."

He shook his head, "You can keep it. I have a feeling you'll be needing it a lot this break." Angus winked. I rolled my eyes. "I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow." I nodded. "You are gonna need this though."

"Hm?"

I leaned forward, placing a soft kiss onto Angus's cheek. His face was cold and smooth to the touch. When I pulled away, he held his face in amazement.

"I will never wash this cheek again, you know that right?" He laughed. He bit his lip, holding his hands behind his back shyly. "Bye, Y/N."

"Bye, Angus." I smiled. "And bye, Walleye!"

We giggled as I waved to the snowman. We stared at each other for a few more seconds, before I had to shoo him away from the porch. I turned and shut the door behind me.

The last thing I saw when I looked outside the window was Angus skipping away with his hands flailing in the air. All I could do was think about the next time I'd see Angus Tully on my porch again. My heart might've grown three sizes that day.

[merrybloomwrites]

Ready to Run

Summary: Harry reaches out to you and the boys to support him for his first ever Ultramarathon.

Word Count: 1.6K

AN: Obvi inspired by Harry running the Tokyo Marathon yesterday. It's also inspired by one of my favorite youtube channels. Last year, Nate from the channel Kara & Nate did the Leadville 100. This story is based on that. Since my story Build You a Boat is also based on their channel, I put this in the same universe at that. Hope you enjoy!

Quick heads up that this is all platonic, there's no romantic relationship in this story!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“You’re doing a what?”

“An ultramarathon,” Harry answers from the other end of the phone call. He’d called you nearly twenty minutes prior, saying he watched to catch up, that he missed his friend. But it’s clear that this is what he was most excited to talk about. 

“And what exactly is an ultramarathon?”

“100 miles in 30 hours,” he states, like that’s a totally normal amount of miles to run. 

“You really caught the running bug, huh?” He’d completed his first marathon just a month prior, and you were proud to see it. It’s been a dream of his ever since the One Direction days, so you’re glad he finally took time to accomplish this goal. 

“Yea. Remember that YouTube couple that helped us with canoeing the boundary waters? Well the husband did this race last year, it’s where I learned about it.”

“I’ll have to check out the video,” you say. You’d been on your own tour last summer, and were pretty busy so it’s no surprise you missed some things. 

“You should, it’s awesome!”

“Where is the race?” You ask. 

“Leadville. Colorado,” he replies. 

“Wait, so it’s 100 miles, at altitude?”

“Yup!”

“Harry, I’ve seen you need oxygen to perform a one hour concert at altitude,” you say worriedly. 

“Yea but that’s because I always fly in and perform like, the next day. I’m planning to get there at least a month prior to train and get acclimated to the elevation,” he explains. 

“So you’ve really thought this out, huh? Well, it sounds amazing, and I’ll support you the whole way.”

“That’s the other thing,” he says, somewhat timid. “Every runner needs a support team. I was wondering if you’d be on mine? Possibly lead it? The boys are on board too.”

“Wait, you’re actually getting the band back together?” You ask jokingly. 

“I am. Figured anyone at this race will be actually focused on the race, not on celebrities. Louis, Liam, and Zayn have agreed to be pacers. Niall says he can’t run with his bad knees, but he’ll be part of the crew.”

“Alright. I’m in. Just tell me what you need and I’ll be there.”

“Thank you so much! I’ll send an email with all the information I have so far and then we’ll coordinate closer to the race.”

“Looking forward to it!” 

The two of you talk for a few more minutes before saying goodbye. As promised, you receive an email from Harry later that day. You read through everything, then watch a few videos of people’s journeys running this ultramarathon. It’s highly impressive, and while it’s not something you could see yourself doing, you know that with Harry’s determination and healthy lifestyle, he can absolutely pull this off. 

Harry puts you, Liam, Zayn, Louis, and Niall in a group chat to start planning. It’s nice being in an active chat with them again, and it leaves you feeling nostalgic for the old days. 

As the support crew leader, you get to Colorado almost 2 weeks prior to the marathon to start really planning. You go with Harry when he trains so you can learn the route and where you’ll be parking the van throughout the run. 

The rest of the boys arrive a few days beforehand, and it’s so good to be reunited at last. You all catch up, talking about how the past few years have been. But the main focus is clearly preparing for Harry’s run. 

And then the day arrives. Bright and early, 3:00 in the morning to be exact, you load into the van and drive to the starting point to drop Harry off. It’s dark, and chilly, but all of you are excited and hyping Harry up. 

At 4 in the morning, the starting gun goes off, and Harry begins the run. The five of you get back in the van to drive to the first meeting point, and then, you wait. 

Harry has created a spreadsheet of all his plans, including what time he’ll be at each aid station. After a few hours, the first runners appear. You can track Harry, and when you see him getting close, you prepare the snacks and hydration that he had requested for this mini break. It takes a bit more time, and finally, you see Harry. You all start cheering him on as he approaches your group. 

He’s officially run the length of a full marathon. You can tell he’s focused, but he sits for a moment to refuel. As he snacks, you and Niall make sure to rub a layer of sunscreen on him. After a few minutes, he gets back up and continues on his way.

As he runs the next section, you drive to the next aid station to prepare. When he reaches you, he’s run 38 miles over eight hours, and it’s clear he’s starting to feel it. He eats his lunch, and Louis and Zayn help him cool down and rub his legs to help keep them from getting too sore. 

By the time he leaves again, his mood has raised, and he runs off smiling. 

Once again, the five of you simply have to wait. It should take him roughly eight hours to get to the top of Hope Pass and then come back down. You all attempt to get some rest so that you can support him later. It’s hard, since you’re all so amped up, but you each manage to get a little nap in. 

Louis starts warming up, since he’s the first pacer to run alongside Harry. When Harry gets back to the aid station, he’s surprisingly cheerful, even though you can tell he’s really feeling it. He grabs some more snacks, and takes a few minutes to lean on you as you tell him how proud you are and how impressive he is for doing this. 

He meditates for a moment and then he and Louis begin to run. It’s strange to see Louis set out to run 10 miles, as he’s more of a sprinter than a long distance runner, but he’ll do anything he can to support Harry. 

You and the others drive to the next aid station to wait for them. They end up taking the last mile or so a bit slowly, since Harry is ahead of his schedule and they want to bring his heart rate down for a little while. 

Liam goes with him next, and after they head out, Louis updates the rest of you.

“His knees are bugging him, but he gets a lot of speed on the downhills. He’s a damn beast, I’ll say that. I couldn’t do this.”

They meet up at the next stop, Zayn switching out for Liam to run the next few miles. As you track them, you see that the pace is slowing down but still going fast enough to finish in time. 

Mayqueen is the final aid station, and Liam goes to run with Harry again, him being in the best shape out of your whole support group.

Twelve miles left, and you see the excitement come back in Harry’s eyes, and the determination written all over his face. 

You drive to the finish, anxious to cheer him over the line. He’s going slow and steady, and Liam calls to update when they’re four miles away, letting you know what time they estimate to be there and that Harry wants all of you to run the last bit with him. 

You spend that last hour watching and cheering for everyone who crosses the line. Finally, you see Harry and Liam, and you, Niall, Zayn, and Louis run out to meet them. With thirty minutes left before the cutoff, Harry officially finishes the Leadville 100.

The five of you surround him in a group hug, and support him once more as he becomes overwhelmed with emotion.

“That was the hardest thing I think I’ve ever done,” he says. “But at the same time, one of the most exhilarating and worthwhile things.”

He’s given a medal and the finisher belt buckle, and takes pictures with countless other runners. But soon you see the exhaustion in his eyes and you lead him to the van. He manages to stay away until you get back to the house, and Louis and Niall help him get a quick shower so he can be clean when he crashes in bed.

He sleeps pretty much until the next day, waking only to use the bathroom and have a little food.

When he’s recovered enough to leave his room, the six of you sit down for lunch together. He thanks you all again for being by his side once more for this endeavor, and you all tell him how proud you are of this accomplishment. 

Later that day, he posts a picture that the six of you took together at the finish line. After years of social media silence, the fandom loses their mind over Harry posting. They go even crazier seeing all of you together for the first time since the hiatus began. 

You know that the fans want a reunion tour, but for you guys, this is the reunion. The chance to be together, to be a friend group again, without the pressure. This feels right to you all.

And you have Harry and his crazy ideas to thank for bringing you together once more.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

AN: Thank you for reading, and I hope you have a great week!

[thunderousjustice]

Abgerny character design in my AU, Melodies category.

Extra

Okay, after publishing Beats and Effects designs, it's time to publish Melodies designs! Sorry for being absent for quite some time, it's because I have a lot of work to do to prepare for living in the dorm and going to university in a few months (yes, I'm going to go to university because I just graduated a few weeks ago). During that time, I tried to find some free time to finish drawing Melodies, and this group took me the longest to think of their outfits because I couldn't figure out how to draw them to fit their careers lol. Barry and Wally had their outfits for a long time, but Vurr, Kori, and Molly couldn't think of any. It took me 3 whole days to figure out their outfits (I was really burned out at that time, okay? When I finished my errands, the only thing I wanted to do was "rest", not draw. Drawing is just a hobby that I do when I feel like it, not all the time like many artists do). Okay, enough of that digression, let's get into today's content. As you can see, Melodies is a bit more special than the other casts. This is evident in the fact that Vurr and Wally have their own logos that reflect their animal avatars in the VR world. Kori has two designs, one before his pet chinchilla dies (Kori without the chinchilla coat) and one after his pet chinchilla dies (Kori with the chinchilla coat). And Molly has the "???" sign after her violin career. I'll slowly explain the reasons for putting these designs on the characters in order.

First up is the Vurr's. The reason I put Vurr's logo on the back of her laptop is nothing more than to "decorate" Vurr a little bit to make Vurr stand out from the rest of the characters, lol. Vurr's design is pretty "plain and bland" compared to the other characters in my opinion. So to make Vurr not look too much like a side character, I put a little effort into drawing a pink fox logo on the back of her laptop to make up for her already plain design. (Vurr's logo doesn't affect the main story. So don't expect too much from a "decoration")

The Wally logo is included because it is important to the main story and Wally in particular. If anyone has ever heard of a group of people who call themselves "Motorcycle Club", you will know what they are famous for. But if you don't know and have never heard of it before... then you should study it yourself because I am too lazy to explain it lol. If I were to explain it, it would be too long. But I will briefly tell you the background of Wally in my AU that motivated him to join the Motorcycle Club called "Pecyn Blaidd" (meaning "Wolf Pack" in Welsh).

"Wally was born into a family with a lot of problems. Mostly from his "father" who often abused him both physically and mentally. His mother often did not dare to stop him and let Wally be abused by his father often (but she still loved Wally, she was just afraid of her husband). Wally could not stand it one day and decided to run away from home temporarily. Along the way, he came across a motorcycle club called "Pecyn Blaidd" and saw their work together, which impressed Wally very much and he decided to join them immediately when the club's Vice President invited him to join because he saw potential in Wally. As time passed, Wally began to feel a "sense of belonging" in the club that he joined, something that he could not find in his own home. He had many friends in the club and was highly respected by them for his ability to coordinate with members effectively, to the point of being promoted to "Sergeant of Arms", which was quite a high rank that suited Wally's abilities. However, the club was not all good because there were many times that the club committed illegal acts and had conflicts with other motorcycle clubs. There were many times that Wally often got involved in such matters, causing problems with those close to him, especially Carl, who was his best friend and often warned him not to volunteer to do bad things that the higher-ups ordered, but Wally often did not listen and often claimed that he did it because it was his "duty" and that he had come too far to back down now. Wally's stubbornness and aggressive behavior often led to him arguing with others, to the point where some of them ended their relationship with Wally. Only Carl tolerated Wally's bad behavior because he believed that Wally could be improved if he was given the right guidance."

Why is Kori's occupation a scientist in your AU? Well, the reason might sound a bit random, but I think Kori is someone who likes to spend most of his free time burying himself in books to learn about various things. The creator said that Kori gets irritated easily and prefers to be alone. People with this personality type usually like to do quiet activities, including reading books. So Kori burying himself in books might suit him well (I think). It's also another reason why Frank likes Kori, even though Kori treats him like trash, lol. In my AU, Kori is a scientist like him (even though Kori doesn't specify that he's a scientist who's good at something like Frank) and has more knowledge than Frank, which makes him interested. Frank usually ends up getting kicked out by Kori out of frustration and annoyance because he likes to ask Kori about things too much, which distracts Kori from works a lot, lol.

The last thing is the "???" after Molly's violinist occupation. This part is considered a "secret", just like the nationality that Paul lied about in my AU. But I'll give you a hint as to why Molly has the "???". Basically, Molly has two occupations. The first occupation is a violinist. As for her second job, Molly chooses not to mention it for the safety of herself and those around her. She has a secret mission that, if completed, will reveal something that she has been "hung up on" since she was a child, and she will do whatever it takes to make it happen. (Don't worry, Molly is still a scaredy-cat, she just gets serious (in her own way) when she is faced with a danger she is willing to put herself through.)

Okay, that's the gist of it. I've explained a lot, and some of you might got too lazy to read til now. That's all for today. See you next time in the last category of Abgerny character designs, "Vocals"! (I know you guys are expecting the most from William's design in my AU, but unfortunately, William's design in Wendigo form "will not be revealed" in the next post. The next will reveal William's design in "Normal mode", not in in Horror mode. It will be a while before I get to the point where I draw the Horror design of Abgerny's character in my AU, so don't expect too much for now, lol.)

Someone: What about Barry? What is his information-

Barry and the others' info will definitely be done after all the character designs are done, okay? I like everything to be done in a systematic way, otherwise I get confused and forget what I'm supposed to do.

[minniesmutt]

𝔇𝔢𝔰𝔦𝔯𝔢: 𝔢𝔩𝔢𝔳𝔢𝔫

♱ ━━━  PAIRING: OT8 X READER ♱ ━━━  CW: PANICKING, PREGNANCY, BLOOD, WEAPONS, MENTIONS OF DEATH, CRYING ♱ ━━━  WC: 2.5K

     It was news that Y/n didn’t know how to handle. She was already dealing with the emotions that she was now the only living member of her family and she was to be coordinated as Queen within a few days. Other royals were already on their way to the castle for her father’s burial. 

     Usually, the next in line for the throne would have months before taking the throne after the death of the previous. But it seemed the Kingdom had already seen their king as dead for a few years now and this would just be giving her an official title as Queen. Even a few other kingdoms could swear she was already queen and seemed elated that she was returning and taking the throne upon her return. 

     “Princess,” Changbin tried to grab her attention as she paced her room. 

     “I can’t take the thrown,” Y/n said, “I can’t!”

     “Hey,” Changbin caught her wrist and stopped her pacing, pulling her into his chest, “Calm down.”

     Changbin moved her to her bed and sat her down, kneeling in front of her and taking her hands, “Look at me darling,” Changbin said. 

     Y/n met his eyes and started tearing up, “I’m pregnant…”

     “You are. And one of us is the father.” Changbin’s voice was calm, hoping to keep her calm.

     “Oh my, I don’t know who the father is,” the tears streamed down her face. Changbin stood and sat next to her, pulling her into a hug on his lap. 

     “I’ve got you, darling,” Changbin whispered in her ear as he rubbed her back. Y/n cried into his shoulder.

     Changbin held her for hours until she stopped crying and was just tired. Her legs were thrown over his lap as she lay sideways against his chest.

     “Y/n,” Changbin called to her as she sniffled in response.

     A knock at the door stopped him from continuing. It wasn’t a small knock like the castle staff or advisors gave. It was urgent. Y/n didn’t have time to tell them to come in before the seven other vampires spilled into the room.

     “Apologies your Highness!” One of her maids’ voices came, “I told them to wait but they insisted on—”

     “It’s alright,” Y/n assured her before planting her legs back on the floor and standing from the vampire’s lap. Changbin kept an arm around her waist as the door closed.

     “What happened?” Felix questioned as he moved to stand in front of her, cupping her cheeks

     “We heard you crying when we arrived,” Seungmin added

     “You know how I hadn’t been feeling well since before leaving the manor?” Y/n asked

     “It has to do with your sickness?” Jeongin was worried

     Y/n took a shaky breath, “I’m pregnant.”

     The seven of them looked shocked. None of them truly thought they could get her pregnant.

     “I’m pregnant, I don’t know which one of you is the father, my father just died and I’m taking the throne in a matter of days,” The more she spoke, the more the tears started again.

     Felix was quick to pull her in for a hug. 

     “Chan, you’re the greater vampire, did you know this was possible?” Seungmin asked

     “Not for a human to get pregnant by a vampire. It’s more likely for two vampires to have a child,” Chan stated as Felix sat on the bed with the crying royal.

     Y/n managed to find the energy to forbid any staff from coming to her room the rest of the day and evening as they all sat in her room, trying to figure out who the father would be. Unless they were delivering food.

     They had to ask the maid who planted the possibility of pregnancy in her head if she knew how long it took for a baby to form. Once they had gotten that information, it was a matter of backtracking.

     The week they were talking about was a busy week. It was one of the few weeks that there was barely any time to be intimate. Y/n remembered only being with three of them that week. Minho, Changbin, and Seungmin . 

     “It has to be one of them then,” Jisung stated

     “Wouldn’t it narrow down to two? remember Minho coming here to collect the debt money at the beginning of the week and then he was gone from the manor the rest of the week?” Hyunjin asked

     “Y/n started coming with me on my trips here. She would stay in the carriage while I collected the money. Speaking of; the debt is fully paid off. They gave me the last of it when we arrived. King had some money stowed away.” 

     “Can’t get rid of you all now even if I wanted to.” Y/n sighed, it did not surprise her that her father had hidden money. But she had already planned on not leaving the vampires once the debt was paid and she had told them that the day after she talked to Chan a week ago. 

     “I remember pulling out when Y/n and I were together that week,” Seungmin said

     “I definitely came inside,” Changbin stated

     “So did I,” Minho added

     “So it’s between Minho and Changbin,” Chan said

     Y/n laid back on her bed. Exhausted from the thinking, her brain was going crazy and she had a million thoughts running through her head. 

     “Y/n, let’s get some air,” Jisung insisted before pulling her off the bed. Y/n leaned against him as he walked them to her balcony. Opening the door and stepping outside with her. The sky was dark now, she didn’t even know how long they had been deliberating who knocked her up. 

     But the night air felt good on her face and in her lungs. She placed her hands on the ledge as Jisung closed the door behind him. The vampire walked up behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist.

     “It doesn’t matter which one of us is truly the father.” He said as he kissed her shoulder

     “It does for me. I’m carrying a child out of wedlock and sleeping with eight vampires,” Y/n sighed. 

     “If you weren’t about to be crowned Queen, would it matter?” Jisung asked as he turned her to him

     “It would. I’ve known women who are looked down on for having a bastard child. As a royal, I can’t imagine—“

     “Hey,” Jisung cut her off, “Do you want to have this child with us?”

     “All of you?” Y/n asked

     “Y/n, we all love you. If someone were to run a stake through our hearts or set us ablaze, we would die happy because we got to love you.”

     “How do you know the others feel like that?”

     “We talk when you’re asleep. But my point is, even though that baby only technically has one of us as a father, all eight of us are the father. We would raise them like they are all our baby.”

     “I love you too. All of you,” Y/n teared up as Jisung placed a kiss on her lips

     “Whatever the outcome, we’re here for you.”

     “Thank you Jisung,” Y/n smiled at him

     “Of course. Ready to go back in?”

     Y/n nodded before Jisung took her hand and brought them back inside. Y/n took her place back on her bed while the others kept up their discussion until they had finally concluded. 

     Minho was the father.

     The only worry Y/n had now was hiding the pregnancy. Lord knows the uproar it would cause. 

     “What if you married?” Hyunjin asked when Y/n started worrying again. 

     “Which one?” Y/n asked 

     “Why not all of us?” Felix suggested 

     “Princess, you don't have to,” Chan interjected, “You are still human compared to us. I don't think it would be fair—”

     “What if you turned me?” Y/n asked, all eight looking at her with wide eyes. 

     “Y/n that's a big ask…” Changbin said

     “But it's a win for all of us. We get to be together for eternity, none of you watch me grow old, I don't lose any of you.”

     “Yes but you’d be giving up your kingdom, you’ve seen just how much they hate us. If you turn, they’ll turn on you.” Minho pointed out.

     “Let’s call it a night,” Chan said before the discussion could go on any further.

     Everyone agreed and Chan stepped outside onto the balcony. Y/n sent the others to the guest rooms before grabbing her robe and slipping it on, joining the vampire outside. 

     “Chan…” Y/n called

     “Sorry Princess,” Chan sighed, “Just a lot to think about.”

     “I apologize for bringing up me becoming a vampire.” Y/n stood next to him against the railing. 

     “Don't apologize. I’d be lying if I said I'd never thought about it before,” Chan confessed and pulled her in front of him, arms moving around her frame 

     “You have?” Y/n asked 

     “For months now,” Chan replied, “Call me selfish but I never want to let you go but you should enjoy your human life.”

     “If something ever happens to me where my life is on the line, promise me you’ll turn me?”

     “Promise. Now let's get you to bed.”

     “Stay with me tonight?”

     “Of course my love.”

     Chan brought them inside and got her under the covers before joining her. Wrapping her in his arms and falling into a tranquil sleep with her. 

     Much needed as the next few days were a blur. Between the burial of her father which few spoke at, to the castle planning the coronation to the prep she had to do on her end, it was hectic. The staff was glad she was back though. 

     The vampires tried to stay out of the way as best they could. Catching stolen glances in the hallways and seeing her at night. Sometimes stealing her away for a few minutes for some kisses, which helped calm her down each time.

     On the day coronation, it was impossible to see her alone. Rather they waited with everyone else that had come to the castle to witness the beginning of a new reign. 

     Chatter filled the room. Everyone had arrived early to try and get the best spot to witness the crowning. The eight managed to get near the throne and hold their spot.

     At long last, the doors opened and the princess stepped in. Everyone fell silent as she made the journey to the throne. A priest from the church waited as two staff members held pillows holding the crown and the sceptre.

    A few murmurs were heard of how beautiful she looked as she made her way down to the throne. As she got up to the stairs to the platform the throne sat upon, one of the advisers was waiting to escort her up. The two exchanged a smile as she took his outstretched hand.

     Before he started to ascend the stairs with her, he quickly pulled out a blade and stabbed her lower stomach. Screams were heard across the room and panic broke. The adviser dropped her hand as Y/n slowly swayed. 

     Changbin had caught her before she fell as the guards rushed towards the throne. Many people were shouting treason and to arrest the man. The advisor drew a sword and pointed to the guards. Daring them to try and attack. 

     “It was for the sake of the kingdom!” he yelled amidst the chaos, “the vampires were trying to lay claim to the throne and got her pregnant!”

     His sword swung at Changbin and Y/n. The vampire moved them out of the way as Minho and his quick reflexes got the sword from him. Felix jumped to help bringing him to the ground as men, women, and children fled the room. 

     The adviser just laughed as the guards dragged him away. Changbin sat on the steps of the platform with Y/n in his arms as the others crowded around.

     “It’s a silver blade,” Seungmin said after attempting to pull it out, the hilt burning him. 

     “Handkerchief?” Felix asked as Hyunjin pulled one from his coat. 

     “This might hurt princess,” Felix warned her. Changbin and Jeongin offered her each a hand to squeeze. She held tight as Felix wrapped the cloth around the hilt and grabbed it. Gently pulled the sword out. Blood soaking the fabric of the dress.

     The vampires looked away as best they could from the blood but it still fueled their slight hunger. 

     “It cut deep,” Felix said as he finally got the blade out and put pressure on the open wound. 

     “I only hear one heartbeat now,” Jisung said 

     “He aimed to kill…” A tear slipped out of Y/n’s eye. Minho turned and Jisung went to handle him before his anger got the better of him. 

     “Princess,” Jeongin kneeled next to her and wiped her tears, “We need you to calm down before it gets worse. There is a lot of blood loss.”

     “How?” Y/n asked as more tears came down her face

     “Y/n, do you remember what I said the other night on the balcony?” Chan asked as he kneeled in front of her

     “If my life was on the line–”

     “I promised I would turn you.” Chan finished. 

     Chan was the only one of them that hadn’t bitten her. For the sake that his bite turned people into vampires. The people in town who willingly gave their blood to the eight would often sit and allow one of the nurses or doctors to take blood from them and then store it in vials for Chan. He didn’t want to risk turning someone on accident. 

     “Are you sure about this Chan?” Changbin asked 

     “Yes,” Chan replied as he moved the princess into his arms, “Are you sure this is what you want?” Chan asked once more 

     “Yes,” Y/n confirmed meekly. Blood loss getting to her

     The seven stood and watched. All of them had been bitten by Chan to be where they were. Chan took a deep breath as his fangs revealed themselves. Y/n tilted her head to the side for him as he sank his fangs into her. Y/n gasped and grabbed his jacket. 

     She couldn’t quite describe the difference between the others and Chan’s bite, but she knew there was one. She still felt an immense amount of pleasure and something in her seemed to change. When Chan pulled away, she still felt fatigued. But more in a hungry way.

     Chan still kept a grip on her as he finished a blood vial from his jacket. He opened the cork and brought it to her lips. The warm liquid spilled over her tongue. It was the sweetest thing she’d tasted at that point. 

     “Feeling alright Princess?” Chan asked 

     “Yeah,” Y/n smiled

     The rest rushed over and checked on her. Once the rest had confirmed with their own eyes that she was okay, they all hugged the other two. A few cried that she was okay. She was alive— kinda. But they didn’t lose her, and she was with them for eternity now.

♱ ━━━ PREV SERIES M.LIST

♱ ━━━━━━ M.LIST  �� TIP JAR

♱ ━━━ please support writers by reblogging and/or leaving feedback

© 2024 MINNIESMUTT. DO NOT COPY, REPUBLISH OR TRANSLATE MY WORK ANYWHERE

[wrenaspun]

Just wanted to tell you that I love your writing so much — I reread “one way or another” like once a month at least. And any fic where you write from Laurent’s perspective is automatically incredible showstopping never been done before etc. in my eyes. Nobody gets the depths of his horniness for Damen quite like you :)

Anyway for the prompt, how about Laurent and Damen trying to figure out the best way to tell Auguste (alive) about their relationship

Aw anon, thank you, that's very kind!! I'm so glad you enjoy the fic(s) enough to return to them <3 For the prompt, this ficlet ended up taking place in the same 'verse as burst the sky in my head, but it should also stand alone just fine! -

“You could hire a skywriter,” Damen suggested lazily. He had one arm behind his head and was staring drowsily up at the clear Ios sky, his sun-browned skin glistening in the sunlight, looking like some artist’s wet dream of a classical painting.

Laurent scooped up a handful of sand and threw it at him.

None of it landed above his shoulder, but Damen’s face scrunched up anyway, and he brought his free hand up to brush fussily at a few nonexistent grains on his nose. Then he reached out and took Laurent’s hand and brought it to his lips. “You could have one of those parties,” he said, while Laurent tried not to melt under the combined force of the sun and Damen’s sheer charm. “With the glitter, and the announcements — what do they call them?”

“Gender reveal parties?”

“That,” said Damen. He mimed a balloon popping. “Congratulations, it’s a boyfriend.”

“That is not what Auguste would say if I burst a blue glitter balloon in his face,” said Laurent, but he spent a few minutes thinking about doing it anyway, just for the look they would get.

The problem was, there was no good way to tell one’s older brother that one was seeing his nemesis-turned-friend. More — that one was in love with said friend, wanted everything that came with that, to get married, to spend their lives together. Laurent curled his toes into the sand.

Not for the first time, he wished Auguste was a little less straightforward. But that was unfair, because he loved his brother’s unflappable straightforwardness, his easy candidness. It wasn’t really his fault that it made things difficult for Laurent, who had come out to his mother at the age of fourteen by saying well… in a delicately sceptical tone when she talked about his bringing girlfriends home. The next week she’d said the same thing but about boyfriends and he hadn’t corrected her and they’d understood each other quite perfectly ever since.

Auguste, good-natured and oblivious, would not pick up on such a hint. He was quite useless at picking up any hints at all, as a childhood full of poorly-coordinated cover stories for Laurent’s attempts at mischief would attest.

But if Laurent couldn’t hint, the only alternative then was to say it aloud: Auguste, I’m in love with Damen. I want to spend the rest of my life with him. Laurent wanted it so much that it became impossible to say. His desire was so ravenously enormous that it looped back around to being mortifying. He felt as though he had a very large, very poorly behaved dog behind him all the time, trying to get at Damen. He’d never felt like this before about anyone.

“You could hire a musician,” said Damen. And opened one deep brown eye to peek up at him, his merriment poorly disguised. “To sing it at him.”

“Will you please take this seriously,” Laurent grumbled, but even his voice was conspiring against him, refusing to sound sharp. He sounded disgustingly smitten.

Damen sat up, brushed off his torso, and then in a single graceful movement of rippling muscle he manoeuvred himself onto Laurent, pushed him down into the warm sand, pinned him bodily in place. “Believe me,” he said; Laurent’s whole body was flushed and thrilled, “I’m taking this very seriously.” He drew his nose over Laurent’s jaw, and even that minute touch sent sparks down Laurent’s spine. He turned his head and pressed a vicious kiss to Damen’s neck, applying his teeth, revelling in the laughing groan this wrung from Damen’s chest.

“Laurent,” he said breathlessly. Laurent hummed, and Damen said his name again, his smile audible. “I have another idea.”

Laurent broke reluctantly away. “Tell me.”

“Auguste texted me ten minutes ago asking where we were.”

“He what?” Alarmed.

“Well, he’s on break too,” said Damen, in an eminently reasonable tone.

“Is he coming down to join us?”

“He said something along those lines,” said Damen. “I didn’t want to interrupt your lecture on Professor Euandros’ shortcomings.”

“Oh my god, shut up,” Laurent muttered. Teaching Professor Euandros’s third-year course on classical poetry had been a nightmare that he would need the whole summer break to recover from. The man hadn’t met an organisational system he didn’t hate with a violent passion. “So Auguste — but what was your idea?”

“Oh,” said Damen. He rolled off Laurent and sat up — a poor start. Laurent said so and watched as Damen’s teeth showed in a dazzling grin. “Here, sweetheart,” Damen said, tugging Laurent closer to him. “Let him find us like this, and you won’t have to say a word. I’ll do all the talking.”

“Like this?” They were both sitting up now, leaning against each other, skin to skin. Intimate, but very innocent. Damen made an affirmative noise. Laurent hummed thoughtfully, then let himself slide down until his head was in Damen’s lap.

“Or like this,” Damen agreed, stroking his warm fingers through Laurent’s hair.

Laurent hummed again. Then, teasing, he turned his face and nuzzled in a certain direction. Damen jolted. Laurent bit down on a smile.

“Not like that,” said Damen. The beach was empty aside from them — it was small and relatively unpopular, and the vast majority of people had gone back to work last week — but there was still the little thrill of exposure. ���Fucking hell, Laurent.”

“You said ten minutes ago,” said Laurent. Desire was swelling in his chest, as wild and as wide as the sea.

Damen said, “Yes,” very carefully. A man who knew exactly the kind of trap that was being sprung on him.

Laurent said, “It takes thirty to get down here from the university.”

[pigeonpeach]

Genshin cat dads enduring the struggles of having a cat!

Summary: silly times.

Neuvillete

“No Bubbles you may not have a second dinner. The vet has deemed you a ‘chonker’ and has advised you to go on a diet.” Neuvillete continued signing papers as the kitty continued to sulk by its empty food bowl. Looking up at him with the most pathetic and wantonly eyes. He didn’t meet its gaze.

“Don’t you dare.” He said. The kitty jumped onto the desk instead it ended up dragging a paper off. Within a instant the kitty was startled and jumping around scampering to get away as the paper had apparently gotten stuck to its paw pad. Neuvillete stood up trying to figure out what to do while the cat thrashed about like a fish flopping on water, running into the coffee table, hopping onto the couch and trashing about. He quickly grabbed the cat holding it still. Bubbles still didn’t still, her tail was positively fluffy as her eyes were huge in fear as if the paper was killing her. It wasn’t, he quickly pulled it off and put her down to which she seemed to frantically search her body. He smiled as she slowly calmed down. He returned to his desk to which she followed him, jumping back onto the desk and yet again getting the same paper stuck to her foot. As before she leaped off terrified.

“You never learn do you Bubbles.” He scolded as he carefully grabbed the paper pulling it off. The cat seemed paranoid as it ran under the couch. He sighed. “What would you do without me.” He said

Diluc

Diluc was very confused. On his bed Selene his beloved little kitty laid with four kittens nursing from her. His bed now a mess as he pondered just how she had gotten pregnant and hid it. He simply thought she was getting fat but apparently not. He carefully approached her, she chirped as she took notice of him. She was purring. He brushed her delicately as he looked over the kittens. All of which seemed as dark as her. He couldn’t help but feel amazed. They were so delicate, so soft and beautiful. He kissed Selene’s little head as if to reward her for this gift.

A month later it stopped feeling like a gift thiugh. Instead of one stealthy and slightly mischievous blob there was now four mini mischievous blobs that maids would trip over or be spooked by. Adelinde hardly had a peaceful time cooking anymore, the kittens often had to be locked away when food was served. But even so they meowed loudly enough to be heard. Diluc sighed as he considered his options.

“You know we could always give the kittens away. They’re going to old enough to leave their mother soon enough. Although I must admit they are all so adorable.” Adelinde said coddling one of the kittens. They had been given names but since they were so young it was hard to tell them apart. Initially Adelinde tied a big bow tie color coordinated to each kitten, but the kittens saw it as a toy and it had to be removed before they strangled each other.

“I’ll look into.” Diluc said.

But later that night when he came home he didn’t hear the pitter patter of the kitties and their mother coming to greet him. He couldn’t help but feel worried. He lit a candle as he investigated. Eventually settling for shaking a treat container. Nothing. He quickly went to Adelinde freaking out as he noticed his bedroom door was open. He peered in spotting the family on his bed, taking up most of the space. Diluc sighed as he picked up the kittens waking them up as they grumpily meowed in annoyance. He laid down as the kittens soon climbed ontop of him. He couldn’t help but get attached then. Deciding to delay giving them away for as long as he could.

Wriothesley

Many would expect prisoners to be cruel and inhumane especially to little creatures such as cats. Not so. His little Kitty unintentionally caused a riot because someone accidentally stepped on its tail and the inmates immediately jumped them. The Duke’s kitty is quite a prized asset. Very useful in morale, sometimes she is allowed to wander, under watch of guards of course. But even they were hesitant to intervene in letting the kitty abuser get away with it unharmed. Said Kitty immediately ran to Wriothesley as if nothing happened. He couldn’t help but feel suspicious.

“Did you plan that?” He asked as he pet his purring little feline. She meowed in response.

“No, not offering food is not a acceptable reason to get someone jumped.” He said. She meowed again.

“You’re too spoiled. You’re lucky you’re such a cutie though.” Wriothesley sighs as he pets his devious kitty.

Zhongli

He came home from latern rite to find his house a mess. Porcelain smashed, decorations broken or knocked over. Including the cat tree. He immediately set about looking for his little cat. Thinking someone broke in and maybe hurt them, his heart racing until he looked under his bed to see them shivering in fear. It occurred to him then that his cat must’ve been oh so scared of the fireworks. The Tianquan had used a new kind this year that was supposedly better but even he deemed too loud. He carefully reached down to scoop his kitty out.

“There there little one. There’s no need to fear. The fireworks are over.” He said as he immediately began to brush the trembling cat. The kitty slowly calming down as it began to purr in his lap. It looked at him guiltily as it had caused alot of damage. He chuckled.

“Potteries can be repaired, but I cannot replace you as easily my love.” He said placing a kiss on their forehead. “I’m not mad. I’ll ask the Tianquan to consider switching back. I can’t imagine how many kitties are out there right now terrified. But I assure you little one, there is nothing to fear.”

The cat now calm rested in his lap as he smiled. He’d have to buy some glue but at least his little one was okay.

[icanwriteitblindfolded]

You’re Safe With Me

Eddie Munson + Reader

*Warning* Smut ahead! 18+ only minors DNI. Virgin reader, oral sex (Fem receiving), penetrative sex, blood.

Summary: After seeing each other for a couple of months you and Eddie finally have some time together alone. And Eddie has had one thing he’s been wanting to do with you; well a few things. 😉

Part Ten:

“Okay Eddie it’s my turn to pick the movie now.” “I don’t want to watch that one though babe.” You gave an exaggerated pout to him, he just smiled and placed a kiss on your lips. “But it’s one of my favorites.” “Is it a love story?” “Yes but they also have to try and steal this statue without getting caught. It’s a cute one, plus I love Audrey Hepburn.” “I know you do.” “Not to mention Peter O’Toole is kind of sexy.” “What?” “You heard me, he’s sexy.” Eddie pinned you down to the couch, his grip wasn’t too tight but enough to hold you in place, you felt the heat radiate between your legs. Why was this a turn on?

“First I find out you like Kurt Russel and now this?” “Specifically Kurt in Escape from New York; you know I love the long haired scruffy looking guys.” “So am I on that list?” “I don’t know?” You jested, he planted another kiss on you and trailed down to your neck. “I guess I’m going to have to try and get these other guys out of your head then. Make sure I’m the only one you think of when you’re alone.” He nibbled at your shoulder and licked the base of your neck, “Oh believe me; they’re attractive but you are all I think of when I’m by myself.” He buried his face between your neck and left shoulder; sucking just behind your ear. God he was going to drive you insane. “Oh yeah? How good am I?” “To me the best but maybe you’ll need to prove that theory?”

Eddie stopped and looked back at you. His eyes shifted from your eyes to your lips and down towards your breast. “Oh really? You need to make sure your theory is correct huh?” “Well for research purposes yes. Unless you’d rather just watch the movies and later tend to yourself.” His eyes hungry and wanting; he kissed you, his tongue darting in and out, biting your lip and then your chin. “Not on your life. I’ve been waiting for this moment with you. But are you sure?” You nodded, and then looked at him again. “But I want to tell you something first.” He paused and looked at you, “I lied, I’ve never done this before. I’ve never done any of it. I figured you’d find out sooner or later and I just wanted to let you know. So don’t expect some spectacular experience with me.”

He gave you a soft peck on the nose and then one to each eyebrow. “That’s okay. It’s not a contest or anything and besides that, experience doesn’t always mean anything. But if you don’t want to do this or it gets too much just tell me; it’s all about making you feel good. Today we’ll focus on that. If not, then I will watch the movies with you.” “Well I felt like I needed to be good because…” He kissed you as you tried to explain away your lie; “F/N?” “Yes?” “Just shut up for a moment.” You nodded while he plastered you with kisses.

He began to tug up your shirt before pausing to look at you; “Do you want to go back to the bedroom or stay out here.” You looked around and the sun still crept through. Despite the fact that most knew you and Eddie were a couple now and Wayne wouldn’t be home for a few hours you didn’t want to give Hawkins a show. “Bedroom.” With one swift move Eddie lifted you off the couch and headed to his room, you wrapped your legs around his waist and tried to plant a few kisses but he stumbled nearly injuring the two of you. “Just wait a minute, I’m not the most coordinated guy here.” You laughed as he finally made it to his room and gently placed you on the bed.

He laid down on top of you pinning you down with kisses and his body weight; you could feel the mattress sink under the two of you; if it were going to last for this it wouldn’t last long after. Eddie pulled you up to a seated position and gentle took your top in his fingers. “Are you sure? Like be honest and say it. Cause I’ll be okay.” You glanced over to the stain on his sheet and back to Eddie whose face burned red with a knowing embarrassment. “Munson, I’d say you have been waiting for a while for this. And so have I.” “Oh yeah, similar to me huh?” You smiled and hid behind a curtain of your hair; “Maybe. But I’m sure the real thing is better.” “Me too.” He kissed you again and only broke free to lift your top over your head, or tried to. The collar got stuck on your face and he spent a minute laughing at your predicament before fully removing it. “You know I was going to say something about the bra but that was too funny.” “Oh hush, you. I’m nervous enough as is.” “You’re nervous? How do you think I feel?” “But you’ve done this before?” “Not with anyone I liked, most of those were quickies in a bathroom so hardly romantic.” “Are you trying to woo me Eddie?” “Is it working.”

You leaped over to him and began to kiss him again, trailing them down his neck and to his shirt. You lifted it over his head and thankfully his met no resistance. You stopped to admire the beautiful man before you. The tattoos on his collarbone and chest; a few scars here and there that decorated a beautiful pale canvas. “What is it.” You smiled and kissed his collarbone, sucking just enough to leave a mark by tomorrow. “You’re beautiful; like seriously it’s unfair how gorgeous you are Eddie.” “Same goes for you F/N.” He mirrored your act and you felt his mouth suck at your neck like a vampire was drawing blood. “God you’re so beautiful.” He tackled you to the mattress again and began to trail kisses down your torso; when he reached your belly button he began kissing it and you felt his tongue flick it slightly. You giggled. “What was that?” “A preview of coming attractions.” You wrapped your arms around his head as he continued to kiss you there before he blew on your stomach.

“Eddie!” “What? I couldn’t help myself.” You laughed and pulled him back up to kiss him again. “You’re lucky you’re so cute Munson.” “Not sexy?” “Hmmmm. I don’t know.” He lowered his lips to your ear, you could feel his hot breath hit the nape of your neck sending goosebumps all over your body. Then he did the unexpected, he growled, and nipped your shoulder. “What about now?” His voice was a low whisper, deeper than his usual tone and made your stomach do a somersault. “I think you keep doing stuff like that I’m going to shorten that list of mine.” He raised his head to kiss you again, playful little kisses before moving to your other shoulder to give it a little bite to match. “You’re not hurt are you?” “Eddie please you barely touched me.”

He smirked and removed your bra; you lay back on his bed waiting in response. Eddie launched himself to suck on your nipple like a thirsty man craves water. You felt your back arch in response and a gasp escape your lips. Eddie hummed in approval. Releasing himself for a moment, “Feel good?” You nodded, words didn’t matter at this point, in fact you couldn’t even move. Eddie continued on the right breast and you felt his thumbs gently tug at your pants. He undid the buttons and started to pull them before you began to kick and flail your legs until the finally came off. All that was left were your panties. Eddie chuckled at the display; “Anxious?” “Yes, I’m ready.” Eddie slipped a hand down your panties and slid a finger between your folds.

“Not yet; maybe just a little warm up.” “No; Eddie I’m ready for you I swear.” He planted a kiss on your lips and you could feel him already getting hard against your thigh. “Patience angel, all good things to those who wait.” You groaned “How long are you going to torment me?” He smiled and began to suck at your nipple again; you cried out as the pain was hit you, Eddie paused and gave it a soft kiss instead. “I’m sorry, was that too much?” You nodded and Eddie trailed kisses down your stomach, you braced for another raspberry to be blown on your belly but he just continued down to the top of your panties. He paused to look back at you and then kissed the inside of your thighs.

He tugged your panties down slowly and tossed them into the pile of the rest of your clothes. He sat up and drank in your naked body on his bed, a smile creeping in his face. “What are you doing there Munson?” “Just looking at this gorgeous angel on my bed; I want to remember this for the rest of my life.” You smiled and tossed your hand behind your head to pose like a playboy model. “That do anything for you?” “You have no idea.” “So does this make me a miss January?” Oh definitely, here let me grab my Polaroid.” “Eddie no!” You screeched and covered your breasts when Eddie pushed you back onto the mattress. “Joking, joking.” “You’re such a jerk Eddie.”

He grabbed a pillow and placed it under your back before kissing your legs and inching closer and closer; you instinctively opened your legs for him. He leaned back and smiled. “Hmmm, are you sure you’ve never done this before? ” “You’re the first.” His eyebrows raised, and then that sky smile crept up on him. “Maybe I’ll be the last?” “I’m sorry I lied before.” “S’okay. I’ll be gentle; just tell me if you want to stop.”

You felt his breath on the inside of your thighs and another kiss on them both before he began to suck at your throbbing clit. Your body lifted off the bed and you pulled his head closer and closer to you. You felt him laughing and moaned at the sensation. “Fuck Eddie!” He laughed again clearly aware of the effect it was having; when you felt his tongue flick over you it was all you could do not to cry out in ecstasy. “Oh my God; Jesus!” “He’s not here babe; just me.” You held onto the sheets with on hand bawled them between your fingers and Eddie’s hair with the other. Poor guy will be bald in the morning.

“You want to try something else with this?” You hummed as he paused to hear a more vocal response. “What?” “Well I could try to get my fingers involved too.” “Is that even possible?” He chuckled at the remark; he must’ve thought you were really cute not knowing the whole situation. “Yes it is; but it can be a bit intense at times. Some girls can’t handle it.” “Munson; I’m not those other women, and I swear if you think of them while down there…” “Fat chance! But I know from my experience and others how this can go. If it’s too intense I’ll stop and we can try something else.” You laid back; you legs like jelly already and your pussy sire from the attention he’d already given it. But you needed everything from Eddie; whatever was possible you wanted it. You nodded and Eddie resumed his place and proceeded to flick and suck before slipping one finger in. You gasped at the sensation and felt your toes curl and your left leg wrap behind him.

“So far so good?” You hummed with pleasure and that’s when Eddie flipped his damn finger over and curled it around a spot that made your eyes roll into your skull. “Oh my God Eddie! Please, do that again.” He happily repeated the movement several times and then slipped his other finger inside to add it to the equation. You were babbling incoherent phrases and nothing but begs and pleas for him to keep going as he was. You pulled him closer and closer into your body not even thinking about if he could breathe or if he was opposed to it but he didn’t seem to mind. He speed up the pace as you felt your body jerk and lift into complete spasms.

He raised himself to look back at you, his face had a sheen to it around the mouth and a coy smile across his lips. “You did really well; I have a hard time believing you’re a virgin.” “Well I’m not now.” “Well almost, there’s still some things to tick off for that.” He climbed up on top of you and paused looking at you, he wiped his mouth and hesitated while looking at you. “Is it okay if I kiss you.” You nodded; he did and you could taste all of you on him which made the kiss even more tantalizing. You felt his erection through his boxers and let your hand wander down to it and lightly graze over his shorts.

He winced at the touch and you also felt the damp spot forming on the fabric. “You want to fuck me properly Munson?” He nodded and lower the waistband to expose himself just enough, he reached over to his nightstand and you heard the unmistakable foil wrapping being discarded. He hesitated before bringing it to your entrance and lightly slid it through your fold as you hummed at the sensation. “I’ll go slow so you don’t get hurt.” You nodded as he gently pushed himself in; it was so painful. You winced and felt your body try to reject him. He paused and gently kissed your forehead. “Okay take a deep breath; it’s okay. Just relax, don’t even think about what is happening down there.” “How can I not? It’s already halfway there.” “Actually I’ve barely even got it.” “What!?” He nodded bashfully as you collapsed your head back into the mattress. “Sorry.” “S’not your fault.” You closed your eyes as you felt Eddie push himself further in, again meeting with resistance from your body and each time you winced he paused and kissed you or caressed your face. He wasn’t silly or rough now because he could see the way you felt and he would stop if you said it; in fact you could tell he wanted to stop because he didn’t feel like this was working.

“Hey babe?” You nodded, still wincing and eyes closed. “I’ve got some news for you?” “What you still have another five or six inches to go?” “Nope, it’s all in and you’re definitely not a virgin anymore.” You opened your eyes and looked up at him, he nodded and kissed you once more. “I’ll give you a minute before I try anything else.” “No, just go; I’m ready.” He nodded and began to rock his hips into you. You felt him slowly slip away and back in, it wasn’t a massive departure from you but enough to prod that sensitive spot he’d been favoring.

Eddie placed his hands on the mattress beside your head; you felt him thrust forward towards your body and reacted with a loud moan. Eddie smirked; “You should try with another pillow underneath.” “Okay?” “You sure?” You nodded; you weren’t opposed to whatever he suggested as you felt he was probably bored already with this more than basic act. He pulled his other pillow and placed it under your back; you were now closer than before to his face. He kissed you in a response to the nearness of you. “He started slow again before picking up the pace and you could feel every inch of him deep inside you and around your back. It felt amazing and you couldn’t stop him if you wanted; he was now beginning to enjoy the moment. “Wait hold up stop Eddie.” He paused and leaned back a little; he never left you. “Um did you want me to try another angle perhaps?” “How do you mean babe.” He panted, the sweat dripping down his torso painting his body in a gorgeous sheen. What would happen if I turned over onto my stomach and leaned forward on the pillows?” His eyes raised up; apparently that was a good idea to him and you knew that he would do it if you wanted. “Okay let’s get you turned over here.”

He slipped out and you sighed at the sudden emptiness you felt between your legs. “Don’t worry; he’ll be back in a moment.” He fluffed the pillows and sat back as you adjusted to get comfortable. You heard him kick off his boxers the rest of the way and placed his hands on your hips. “Okay, I’m going to go slow again; just relax.” You took a deep breath before feeling that familiar sensation again; this time your body welcomed him with little effort. He laughed and you felt his left hand slowly trace down your spine and sent goosebumps through your body. “God you’re beautiful.” “Eddie you’re already inside me you don’t need to be giving me compliments.” “No; I have to do this. It’s required by law. If I’m into the girl I’m fucking I need to at least let her know I like her. And believe me…” you felt his tongue trace the exact patterns his fingers did a moment before; and felt your walls tighten. “I’m really into you.” “Oh yeah?” “You need more proof?” “I don’t feel you proving me anything right…” before you could finish he began to point into your hips and took them both in his hands again.

He let his left hand snake around to the front and began to make little circles over your already aching clit. You cried out in response; you could feel him deeper than the previous position and with that he just made you feel everything even the colors of his bedroom. He didn’t go slow as promised instead opting to show you he was not going to disappoint you. “Fuck! Eddie! Don’t! Stop!” You said between gasps for air; Eddie’s hand quickened as well and you could feel a twitch from him. His hand tightened on your waist and you yelped in pain. “Babe, don’t… I’m… fuck! I’m about to cum!” He bottom out as you heard him choke out his gasps. His hand still between your legs.

“Eddie, I’m close.” He turned you back over and knelt down face between your legs again. “I’m sorry babe. I’ll make it up to you.” He began to suck again as you felt your walls closing and the knot in your stomach tighten up. He slip his fingers back in and sped up the pace. You gasped and felt your legs clutch around his torso. You fell back into the mattress as Eddie crawled to lay on top of you. The pair of you panted and lay in silence for a moment, Eddie placed a kiss on you collarbone before placing another between your breasts.

“So better than you imagined?” You nodded, again words lost in the moment. “Same here.” He panted, another kiss placed on your neck, cheek and finally lips. “I never finished before the girl so that was new.” “Is that a bad thing?” “No, just all about what is triggering you; hearing you scream like that and feeling your body react as it did just sent me to the moon. I’m amazed I was able to last this long.” “I’m sorry I wasn’t able to get there like the rest.” “Hey it’s okay; it was your first time and it’s normal to get into your head. Don’t worry; it’s not a big deal.”

He kissed you again and wrapped you up in his arms. “Give me a second.” He got up and left the room; you lay there looking at the posters on the wall when you heard the faucet running and then Eddie returned with a damp cloth. “Is that for my forehead?” “No, open your legs a bit.” Eddie was so gentle wiping away the mess between your legs; he pulled it away when you saw the spot of red on the cloth. You gasped in horror. “Again, it’s normal; this was your first time and that can happen. You’re going to be okay. You can shower off in a few minutes if you’d like. Also make sure you use the bathroom pretty quick here.” “A lot of rules huh?” “Just precautions.” He kissed you again, and buried his face in the crook of your neck; “If you’d like I can join you in the shower.” “That’d be nice but can we both fit in there?” “Easily.” “Not like your dick then.” He playfully slapped your stomach and laughed. “Eddie?” “Hm?” “Did I, was…” He looked up softly at you. “Was I terrible?” He pinned you down under him again and planted a deep kiss on your lips. You felt his tongue trace patterns in your mouth and wanted him to do that to your pussy again. “Babe, you were great. I think you may have been the best sex partner I’ve ever had.” Like always not a hint of sarcasm to what he said; just the blunt truth. He stared at you sincerely and intently like he would spend the rest of his life making sure you knew what he meant. “I love you Eddie Munson.” “I love you too.” He curled beside you and tugged you closer to his chest; you felt the worry and fear drift away. Eddie was still there and would probably always be there for you for the rest of your life.

[kirisaki-daichi-scenarios]

the boys as bodyguards

dedicated to absolutely no one. sure this is an asks blog - does that mean i have to actually answer them? i know i know bad admins bad admins whatcha gonna do whatcha gonna do when they come for you but i had a dream ages ago now that involved bodyguards, tsunamis, and also a shit ton of murder. don't ask. anyway, it got me pondering. and then it took literal months to write this so i figured i'd post what i've got so far, and maybe i'll update with the rest of the boys later, depending on how well this does/how much time i have

hanamiya makoto

hanamiya’s the package deal

he’s the chief advisor; he’s the doctor; he’s the bodyguard; he’s the sniper. just a right hand man in every way possible.

i mean, he’s not literally your right hand man: he’s the leader of a team, and often it’ll be one of his men there next to you at events, but he’s always supervising or coordinating or collecting intel

ie he’s dedicated to his job. he does like engineering spider’s webs after all.

having said that, he’s also an uncontrollable prick

he’s the best at giving you advice, both in terms of navigating high society and in terms of actual business advice, but is he going to give that advice without slipping in a snide comment about how you should really know all this by now? when you tell him to make sure to take a break some time, is he going to stop himself from saying “maybe if you weren’t so incredibly useless on your own, i’d be able to.”

and sure maybe he’s breaking the universal declaration of human rights with what he does to the people who dare to try harm you, but you don’t know about that

need to know basis type beat

you don’t even have access to the full floor plans of your own property, which includes a basement you’ll never know about, let alone step foot in. hanamiya keeps that information very close to his chest.

gotta make sure his employer has plausable deniability

gotta make double sure that you don’t find out about half the things he does - from the ways he sources his information, to his very dodgy organised crime links, to the number of people that have sadly lost their lives in the name of “fuck it, you’re pissing me off” - because he hates when you bang on about bullshit like “laws” and “morals”

after all, if everyone followed your beloved laws and morals, then you’d have no need for his services

as he always tells you, he’s just your pet necessary evil

yamazaki hiroshi

i reckon he only got into the bodyguard business because he spent his childhood wanting to be a samurai but, well you know, that’s not really a job opportunity anymore

what it does mean though is that he’s all about bushido: mastering his work, bravery, honesty, etc - and above all else loyalty to one’s employer

on a random thursday afternoon, he’ll tell you, completely nonchalantly, straight face, “i would die for you if that’s what it takes. on my life, i’ll always keep you safe.”

you’re staring at him like wtf and/or trying to stop yourself blushing, but he thinks that’s a completely normal thing to say cause he’s just following bushido

of course, late one night, he’ll wake up realise how weird that came across and he’ll spend the next week trying not to blush whenever you talk to him

just like the time he spent a week kicking himself after you walked in on him training, shirtless and rather sweaty, and when you told him he should take a break, he said “but i need to train so my body can be at its best for you”

again, at the time that sounded very reasonable, serious, and totally bushido to him. it’s only later that he’s freaking out in his room like why in god’s name did he say that.

but hey that’s bodyguard!yamazaki for you. a little weird, a little socially inept, but loyal to a fault

haizaki shougo

can you imagine the number of jobs that this man has lost for sleeping on the job?

he’s only got his current gig looking after you because his prices are cheaper and you were getting desperate to find someone in your budget

he’s a ...uhh… unique bodyguard? in the sense that he’ll get you out of harms way eventually, but "eventually" is the key word there

haizaki actively ignores intel that a certain location might be dangerous, because he really just wants to get into fights. sure you might get in the way occasionally, maybe even get some nasty bruises, but hey you get what you pay for.

you want a good bodyguard, save up some money, idiot.

literally the only reason he got into being a bodyguard is so he can beat people up legally (and because he got dishourably discharged from the military); he doesn’t care that much about the whole ‘protecting’ side of things

he’s also the type to ditch you the minute a better paying job comes up (possibly combat work as a mercenary). however he’s not as cold-hearted as he may seem, and he’ll happily spend a day of leave breaking into your penthouse

so that when you return in the evening, he’s there sat on an armchair, grinning smugly, “man your security’s turned to shit since i left.”

shortly followed by, “miss me?”

jason silver

jason’s the quintessential bodyguard, cause, after all, having a very muscular 6’11 man follow you everywhere you go isn’t exactly subtle

but he’s recognisable for other reasons as well.

like the fact that he’ll accompany you to formal balls, and he’ll be the only man there with an undone tie - it’s such a massive argument trying to get him to wear an appropriate suit instead of his usual hoodies and sweatpants, that can anyone blame you for not having the energy to insist he stops undoing his tie as well?

he’s also not exactly one for professionality. like you’ll be minding your business, trying to network, and suddenly you’ll hear a wolf whistle by your ear and a “wouldn’t mind me a bit of that”

“jason, that’s the ambassador to norway. we’re having her over for dinner next week, so, with all due respect, shut the fuck up. and whisper next time, for heaven’s sake! what if someone had heard you?”

“shit, is it a crime to like some nice tits in this economy?”

and when you glare at him, genuinely furious, he grins, puts his hands up, and says, “sorry, sorry. forgot you don’t like me having eyes for anyone else, boss.”

but don’t get me wrong, jason’s not all evil contra to fujimaki’s propaganda

he is an incredibly good bodyguard - those animal instincts really help him out when it comes to getting you out of a sniper’s line of sight, or saving you from a bullet, or just assessing a room for potential entry points. and he packs a mean punch if anyone tries to try something on you, a solid ko.

no one’s getting past him essentially

the only problem is that it’s incredibly difficult to thank jason for saving your life, cause the last thing he needs is an ego boost or feeling like you owe him.

“seriously jason. i don’t know how i can ever repay you.”

“usually the payslip’s enough,” he smirks, “but you know that little lady ambassador-“

unsuprisingly, he’s not invited to the dinner.

[criminalmindswhore]

Call If You Need Me

angsty, fluffy, pulls at your heartstrings

TW: Mentions of parental death

The timing of your life always felt like some sort of sick joke on you. Without fail, everything happened at the worst time and, your mother's death was no different.

"I'll be back in a few months honey," Emily promised as she stroked your head that was placed in her lap on the couch. The movie on the screen is long forgotten. You gripped her pants tighter, "I'm just worried you won't get the chance to come back to me." Emily sighed, your worry was logical and was her biggest fear. "I promise to do everything in my power to get back to you Y/n." Emily leaned down and pressed a kiss to your temple. Tears silently rolled down both your cheeks. "One call to Clyde and I will come home as fast as I can."

The phone rang loudly in your ear as you sat on the kitchen floor of her apartment, "Easter speaking." Your words got caught in your throat, and a sob came out instead. Clyde sat up at his desk, "Y/n?" You took a deep breath and forced the words out, "Clyde my mom died. I don't know if this counts as a reason to pull her out, but I want her to know as soon as possible. My mom was like a mom to Em." Clyde remembered the stories Emily had told him on the way to Boston.

The rain was pouring down all day essentially ruining your plans to take Emily to the market in your hometown. You padded down the stairs being careful not to slip in your socks. You found your mom looking out the living room window, you stood beside her and sighed, "There goes our plans for the day." Your mom giggled, "But the rain made us better plans. Go get Emily." She shooed you up the stairs to find your lover still asleep. You woke her up and slipped her shoes on before pulling her downstairs. The front door was open and you found your mom in the front yard running in the rain, a massive smile on her face. She spotted Emily and you laughing at her from the porch. She beckoned you to her. "Oh, absolutely not Mom." She glared at you, "You can't get struck by the lighting if you're not in the rain." She pulled your hand and Emily's as thunder cracked out. The three of you spent almost an hour in the rain. Running, dancing, laughing, talking. You and Emily stealing kisses when possible. You were out of earshot from the two when your mom told Emily, "Thank you for loving her, Emily. You're always welcome here with us." The words made Emily cry. The love she always wanted from her mom, she got from yours.

You were sitting on the windowsill staring at the London skyline. You felt frozen in time and space. You needed Emily to guide you, but you couldn't have that right now. Your phone vibrated and you looked down to see a number you didn't know. You answered immediately, "Hello?" Emily smiled, your voice. "Hi Brad." Brad. It was the name Emily told you before she left, "If I need to contact you for emergencies, you are Brad." You let out a soft cry, she was alive and talking to you. "I heard the news. I'm thinking 'bout coming home." She said it in a whisper. Emily was standing in the next room over from Doyle, but god knows she had to be careful. She looked out the window at the huge backyard of the villa. She was nervously playing with the wedding necklace Ian gave her. She felt so dirty wearing it. "I need to confirm the shipment and get in contact with Chris. Pack it up and meet me at the spot." Your stomach dropped thinking about how in code she had to be with you but, knowing she was okay enough to remember all these codes gave you comfort. "Where?" You wanted to tell her how much you loved her, how much you missed her but you didn't want to risk anything. "Someone will send you the coordinates. Don't be late, he doesn't like it when shipments are late." You cried yourself asleep that night replaying her voice in your head over and over. It sounded a little different but you figured she adopted the dialect of where her cover is from.

"Y/n I'm being so serious right now!" You doubled over in laughter with your mom. "There's no way you have a whole assignment to do a job interview in a Southern accent!" Your mom said as she slapped your arm from humor. Emily was standing in front of you two smiling pretending to be offended, "I do!" She said in a Southern accent, "I take one theatre class for an elective and you two act like I've grown another head!" She was laughing now at her own accent. "Oh, how college has changed you, Emily Prentiss!" You said dramatically and pretended to faint into your mom's lap.

You spent the next week jumping at every phone call and text, waiting for the coordinates that never came. You were losing hope that Interpol would pull her out because of your mom. From the start, you knew it was a long shot. There were very few reasons that someone that deep undercover would get pulled out and a death in the family isn't one of them.

Emily, sorry, Lauren was in the front garden harvesting some Lilacs for Ian's birthday. The purple flowers were in perfect bloom and the smell wafted into her nose. She had just picked the last one when she heard tires screeching to a halt. She looked up to see 4 SUV's and men coming at her. "What's going on?" She asked in Italian, they grabbed her and shoved her into a car. "I need to speak to Easter," she said softly. The second the car door closed, she yanked off the necklace Ian gave her and let out the breath she had been holding for 8 months.

Standing around the casket you and your family watched as your mom was lowered into the ground. You were gripping the rose meant for Emily to place like it was the last thing keeping you upright. "Wait!" Your head immediately turned and saw her. Your Emily running across the cemetery. Her hair was lighter now and she had bangs, but god she looked beautiful. It was like the first time you had ever seen her. She reached you and immediately pulled you into her grasp. Tears you didn't know you had left came flooding from your eyes as your arms wrapped around her neck. Emily breathed you in, your perfume filling her nose. "Em. I thought-" She pulled back, keeping her arms around your waist, "I had to wait until it was safe to pull me out." Emily smiled sadly at you. Your mouth was just opening and closing like your brain was short-circuiting. "You made it," you finally choked out. Emily pulled you in for the first kiss you'd shared in 8 months. Her lips felt the same, tasted the same, that kiss made your brain realize she was really here. It felt like life was being poured back into Emily's being after being someone else for so long. You were the one to pull away this time as you handed her the rose, "I saved this for you to give her in case you made it." Emily's smile dropped and a wave of sadness overtook her. She took the rose from you and stepped towards the casket. "Thank you for loving me like your own and for welcoming me into your home and arms. You raised an amazing daughter and I intend to take over the watch now. I got her."

Emily dropped her rose in and grabbed your hand holding it tightly. Emily didn't cry in front of people except you and JJ, so when you looked at her and saw tears on her cheeks, you felt your heart shatter. The past 8 months were so hard for Emily, you cannot fathom coming home to this.

As the sun set on your hometown you and Emily sat in your dad's truck in a parking lot. You needed a moment away from the family and Emily needed space to begin to process the past 8 months. Her hand was intertwined with yours, music playing softly. You looked away from the sunset to look at her. She felt your eyes on her and turned to you, a smile gracing her face when she saw you. "I'm sorry Em." Her eyebrows furrowed in confusion, "For what?" A tear slipped from your eye, "For whatever you just endured. I know you can't tell me anything for a while because of the red tape and rules but I'm here when you want to or need to talk about it. Mom would kick my ass if I didn't recognize how hard of a time this is for both of us." Emily looked down at the console, licked her bottom lip, and then bit it. You grabbed her chin and pulled her eyes back to yours, "That's your tell so don't try to tell me to worry about only me." Your eyes were serious, "When I can, I promise to not bottle this up." You leaned into her and pressed a sweet kiss to her lips, "I love you." Your words were quiet but meaningful, "I love you so much Y/n." Emily's hand grabbed the back of your head and pulled your lips back to hers, this time more passionately. As your lips collided thunder cracked. Emily's hands threading through your hair, your hands on her face. She pulled away to breathe and opened the truck door, "Let's go dance in the rain for your mom?"

[urhoneycombwitch]

love ur roommate Eddie but also all the time spent together between sexy times stresses me out

at least with husky neighbor Eddie he's across the hall and if you're not in the mood to see him, then you don't have to

but roommate Eddie is literally in. your. walls.

what about when you just have ugly days when your hair is a mess and you walk around the apartment smelling a lil before you hop in the shower

what about when either of you get sick and it's real nasty?

is there only one bathroom?? do y'all gotta coordinate times???

what if he insists on putting the toilet paper the wrong way around???!!! what about the hair clogged in the shower drain!!

what about the arguing and the tension and the resentment that arises from sharing a space with someone on the worst of days??

like maybe Eddie is the best roommate to ever fictionally exist ever but I can only imagine that there's gotta be some issues that arise especially when they're blurring the boundaries

and roommate!reader seems really strict and anal (same) with her rules so I figure that also extends to sharing a space

I know it's normally default to want to imagine that they figure everything out and live happily ever after, but do you see roommate!Eddie and reader being long term? how do they work out their issues with both sharing a space and finding footing with their agreement? what's the first problem to arise? and if they don't work out, what to do think is the largest issue/ what finally breaks them apart?

anon I love love love this. thanks for asking the nitty gritty questions they are so IMPORTANT!!

okay full transparency, when I started writing for roommate!Eddie I absolutely used the fic logic of “everything is perfect here” because I wanted to focus more on the relational/emotional aspect of two people who have already learned how to share a space. at the time, I think the first meeting/time it took to iron out issues were less interesting to me from a writing standpoint. however, I certainly had the framework for their backstories in the back of my head while i wrote!

I’ll share my thoughts below for those who are interested in the roommate!Eddie+roommate!Reader story. but also don’t hold me to anything I say here for future stories bc my personal canon is subject to change. lol.

in this no-magic Big City AU of mine, I imagined reader and Robin meeting in college and becoming good friends. you were in a horrifically boring history class together (Robin for her smarty-pants Psych/Art double degree and you for a Literature degree) and started hanging out outside of school. by proxy, you also hang out with Steve, Robin’s roommate, and by the time the three of you graduate you’re all good friends.

and then you’re staring down the barrel of a mostly useless degree, a shit ton of college debt, and nowhere to go. you land a job at a local publishing company, but it’s mostly boring and corporate and doesn’t pay for a two-room apartment in the heart of the city. which is unfortunate, because your last roommate (a nightmare by all accounts. quite literally never learned how to clean up after herself) moved out a month ago and you need the extra income to keep the space.

enter Steve’s mysterious friend Eddie. whom you’ve only heard wild stories about. apparently, he’s looking for a room- and according to Robin, he’s “well-mannered for a boy”. you ask a million questions before agreeing to meet with him (neither Steve or Robin gave you a straight answer as to the guy’s career which is weird…), and you make it really clear you’re not in the mood to be screwed over. or stuck with an unlivable situation. 

but your friends assure you it’ll be a good fit. and when you meet for drinks later that week, Eddie is extremely charming and honest. tells you he is, in fact, in the drugs business, but promises it never follows him home. he agrees to all your house rules. he also flirts a lot. but you learn to take that with a grain of salt.

so Eddie moves in and yeah, absolutely there’s an adjustment period. learning the rhythms of each other’s days and nights, figuring out how to split household duties, all the mundane shit that comes w/ a new roommate. there’s an awful first winter where the heat goes out; you two alternate getting colds and stomach flus, multiple nights spent sweating over the toilet or kitchen sink (one bathroom is a KILLER for the sick season). 

there’s a camaraderie that forms after those sucky cold months. you absorb into each other’s lives, friend groups, spaces that extend outside of your apartment. you become real, actual friends who enjoy each other’s company.

and also? Eddie is happy to appease. he’s not a pushover, but he is really respectful of you and your space. he puts effort into learning your little quirks, or things that tick you off (there are a lot). you both figure out early on that open communication is the best policy. Eddie’s the type to tell you if there’s something he doesn’t like or wants to change, so neither of you end up holding secret quiet grudges.  

which is why I think reader finds this whole attraction thing so scary (and uses rules as a defense mechanism sorry I wrote my own OCD into this!! lmao) like Oh, fuck. if this goes sideways, if we have a big fight or fall in and out of love and can’t be in the same room anymore… we’d have to move. I’d have to say goodbye to the best roommate I’ve ever had. our shared friend groups would be dispersed. it would be devastating on so many levels.

anyways. here’s the masterlist if u read this far and want it ;)

[missvelvetsstuff]

Miss Velvet

Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: Y/N aka Miss Velvet, is a disabled equestrian and therapeutic riding instructor who helped Tony Stark with his PTSD after returning from Titan. When the Avengers bought everyone back he hired her to work with the Avengers and SHIELD hired her to work with their agents as therapist and teaching basic riding skills because you never know when a horse will be the best mode of transportation.

Bucky Barnes is a manwhore who is enjoying his freedom for the first time in decades and pays no mind to y/n when she meets the team because he knows how to ride and is always on the prowl for his next conquest.

Post Endgame but everybody survived, because I said so. Written before TFATWS or any of the multiverse saga. Steve helped get Sharon Carter pardoned so they are together.

Chapter 8

Warnings: swearing, marijuana use, angst

Velvet took her new assistant, Bobby, for a tour around her stable and Morgans place, showing him everything he needed to know to help her care for the horses and riders.

She also had MJ coming in on weekends to help with event coordination for Morgan's place. Tony hoped to host some small shows to give Morgan practice and prepare her for larger events.

Everything was, fine, Velvet kept telling herself. It had been 3 weeks since Bucky left and she had received one text from him letting her know he would be gone for awhile but that's all. Most of the team was on the same mission except for Nat who was dealing with an injury and Peter still had school. He did come up on the weekends with MJ and helped Velvet with chores and lessons.

Velvet tried not to think about Bucky and what he said before he left but failed miserably. His stormy blue eyes haunted her dreams and the memory of that kiss months ago kept replaying in her head.

After the 3rd week Velvet received a strange package, in it were some pics from her rough times after her accident. She was in the middle of some crazy, drugged sex act with more than one other person, a few guys and a girl all In various stages of undress. Lines with a pile of white powder, a bong with a pile of weed next to it, a variety of pills and tequila shots on the table and everyone was licking, sucking, fingering and/or fucking.

She closed her eyes, wondering where this came from as there was no return address and the postmark was Manhattan. She didn't see her ex Roger in the pic so figured he must have taken it. It was a graphic reminder of the lowest time of her life.

Velvet wondered why would anyone do this now, what was the point? All the important people at the top already knew the basics of her past but this was much more detailed and graphic than what she told them.

She didn't think Tony or Fury would care, Steve might but hopefully he would understand. General Ross was another story, he never came across as a particularly understanding person.

Of course if these were leaked to the public it might become difficult for them to defend keeping her on, considering the classified nature of most of their work and the inherent risk of an addict spilling something they shouldn't.

It could even affect Serenity as many parents wouldn't want their kids around a drug addicted whore.

Bucky didn't know, they had talked about a lot and he knew she had an addiction problem in the past and had done some awful things to feed that addiction but she didn't get into the gory details, hoping to keep it in the past.

He was willing to accept what he knew about her but what if this was too much?

That thought made her realize that she wanted him, wanted to give him, give them a chance. But what if this ruined it?

The stress and anxiety was spiking her pain and making her stomach sick, she worked so hard to move on from those mistakes but apparently someone didn't want that. It had to be Roger but did that mean he was in NYC?

Velvet sat In her office and sighed, dialing Nick Fury's line to see if he was available today. Unfortunately he was also out of town and Maria had meetings all day so she made an appt for tomorrow, hid the package away and tried to find something, anything else to think of.

In Argentina the team was looking into some suspected Hydra/Nazi collaborators but having a hard time gathering intel on their movements or plans.

Bucky was antsy, wishing he could at least text or call Velvet but Steve wouldn't hear of it. Too much risk of being traced.

Bucky could barely sleep and when he did he never knew if he would have a good and sexy dream about Velvet or one where the Winter Soldier hurts her or Bucky can't stop one of his enemies from hurting her.

Either way he woke up drenched and unable to focus for a while.

"Wanna talk about it, Buck?" Steve finally asked.

"Dunno what to say, nothing I can do but wait it out till we can go home and hope she hasn't given up because of our stressful lifestyle. Talking won't change anything." Bucky responded sadly.

"Maybe a little time away is good for both of you. You were together every day for over a month and that can get intense so some time to think about what you feel and want might bring clarity to you both." Steve advised.

"Steve, I haven't felt this clear about anything since I fell from the train. Never been hit so hard by a woman" Bucky insisted.

Steve laughed, "I told you she was something. Sounds like you got bit good."

Bucky smiled for the first time in days "That's for sure"

Steve grinned for a moment then continued in a sober tone "There's something about her you should know, Buck. Her accident. It was that day in DC when you and I fought. She was in a tour van on that bridge. I don't think you were directly responsible but there was a big mess on the road that day and she was part of it."

Bucky choked "Wait, what? Does she know it's my fault? She can't or she wouldn't even talk to me. I ruined her life. God dammit!! How the Hell do I face her now?"

"Nat is supposed to tell her but I don't know if she did or how it went. We'll have to wait till we get home to find out." Steve sighed.

The next morning, Velvet headed over to the compound to talk to Maria about the pics.

When she arrived at her office, Maria waved her in.

"What's going on Y/N, the look on your face says it's pretty serious."

Velvet nodded "Is it alright if I close the door, this is very personal."

"Of course, close the door and have a seat." Once Velvet was settled Maria asked softly

"What happened? You look pretty spooked."

Velvet took a deep breath to calm herself "Well, you know how I told you about after my accident, how I got addicted to pain meds and did some awful things to get them? Well, someone sent me pics of one of those horrible things. No return address and postmarked in Manhattan."

She wrung her hands as her throat closed "My ex, Roger, is still in California as far as I know. I spoke to his mom after the snap and he was dusted. I didn't even think about him coming back. Or that he could find me."

Velvet sobbed "I thought I had put all that behind me. He always promised he would get me back if I left but I thought I was safe here. This could ruin everything"

Maria walked around her desk to hug Velvet and rub her back "Hey, it's ok, we'll find out who's doing this and bury the whole thing. I'm going to need the envelope and the pictures so we can get started"

Velvet looked at her, wide eyed "We? Please promise that you will lead on this, I don't need everyone here to see them."

Maria took the pictures and promised she would only have Natasha look into it.

Bucky and Velvet were both stressing out to the point of illness over the recent developments.

Bucky was drowning in guilt for breaking her and afraid she wouldn't want anything to do with him. Velvet was scared Bucky would find out about the pictures and not want anything to do with her anymore.

A few days later Nat came to the stable, hoping to take Velvet on a ride and break the news about her accident. Once they had Lexi and Romeo ready to go they walked out the gate and into the woods that Velvet had been exploring for this very purpose.

"So, what's up Velvet? I can tell you have something on your mind." Nat grinned.

Velvet sighed "Just a part of my past that I would like to forget rearing its ugly head. Someone sent me some explicit pics of me in compromising positions during my fall after the accident. Maria is looking into it but I'm scared that my ex will come back and fuck up everything I've worked for here."

Nat looked her in the eye "I won't let that happen, we need you here. This is your home and I'll fuck up anyone who wants to hurt you."

Velvet changed the subject "What's on your mind, Nat? You usually have shit to work thru when you schedule a ride. So what's up?"

Nat looked away "It's actually about you, about your accident. Barnes was there in Winter Soldier mode, fighting Steve, Sam and me. He was the reason for the pile up that you were part of, that changed your life."

Velvet looked at Nat and snorted

"I know."

Nat paled. Words escaped her.

Velvet scoffed "You think I didn't know that? I did have access to the internet even if my memory is fucked up. I knew before I met Tony. You think I never googled that accident? It wasn't Bucky, not really. And I think he's been pretty effectively rehabilitated. It really sucked and I was a mess for a while but I'm a better person now and have a more fulfilling life than I did clawing my way to the Olympics."

She paused before going on

"On another subject, have you heard from Steve or anyone? It's been ages and all I've heard is one text from Bucky the day they left.'

Nat grinned "Is something up between the two of you."

Velvet stammered "Well, I uh, I don't know. The day before they left he told me he was falling in love with me and I told him why it was a bad idea and he almost convinced me. I told him about some of my experiences and why I'm hesitant. Asked him to give me the night to sleep on it. Then he left."

Nats grin grew "I knew there was something there. Last I heard a couple of days ago, everyone was fine but restless. Hoping to finish up in time for Tony's 4th of July birthday party for Steve."

"July? That's almost another month. Maybe this is the universe showing me why dating Bucky is a bad idea. This wait is torture." Velvet whined.

"It sucks to be sure but the right person is worth all that so don't throw the idea away over that." Nat counseled.

Velvet noticed the sun was starting to go down and figured they better get back and take care of the horses. Nat helped with chores and they decided to order pizza, drink some wine, nosh on some edibles and watch one of Velvet's favorite movies, Paul.

Nat didn't get all the jokes but she caught enough to still enjoy the movie.

The edibles helped. Velvet rarely got stoned on her meds but once in a while she needed to let everything go and this was one of those times.

Between the pics and missing Bucky she was a mess.

On June 28th, Velvet and Nat were shopping for dresses for the 4th party. Trying to keep with the theme, Nat found a red halter dress that was perfect, showing off her curves beautifully.

Velvet found a long, blue, cotton, off the shoulder dress with a slit up the side. Casual and comfortable.

"It looks great on you, Bucky will love it." Nat teased,

Velvet frowned "if they get back in time. I'm still waiting for the other

shoe to drop. Have you found anything about the pics?"

Nat sighed "No, Not really. I did try to find your ex and couldn't but he's not in Southern California. I have Friday searching with facial recognition so will hopefully know something soon. Don't worry, we won't let him hurt you."

"I know you mean that Nat and he's just a guy against the Avengers but he's very smart and will latch onto any opportunity to get paid. Things have been going so well here and I'm scared he will destroy it all." She felt her throat closing up 

"What will Bucky think about being with a woman who did the things I did?"

Nat gave Velvet a hug "Barnes shouldn't have anything to say about a checkered past considering his."

The team returned on July 1st, tired and happy to be home but no major injuries.

Velvet received an email from Maria letting her know they were back and asking her to come to the compound to discuss her other matter.

Velvet went after lunch and spoke to Maria "Please tell me you have some good news, like you found Roger and made him disappear or something."

Maria smiled but it didn't reach her eyes "I wish that were the case. We did find him on a surveillance video from the subway but haven't been able to find him physically yet. We did some searching online and he seems to be in contact with someone here but we haven't been able to narrow it down."

Velvet sighed "If someone here has it in for me it's that bitch Janell Marshall. She told Bucky she would make him pay for dumping her and might think hurting me would hurt him since she accused him of having a thing for me."

Maria gasped "That's right, I had forgotten. I'll have a talk with her." Typing into her computer, Maria frowned "She's on leave till the 6th. I'll bring her in as soon as she comes back. FRIDAY, can you notify me when Janell Marshall returns to the compound"

"Of course Agent Hill"

Someone knocked on Maria's office door and Velvet moved to leave "Thanks Maria, see you on the 4th"

"I'll be there"

Velvet opened the door and gasped when she came face to face with Steve and Bucky, "Oh. Welcome home guys, glad no one was badly hurt. See you on the 4th"

They both muttered out a hello and Bucky flushed and looked at the ground.

Velvet shook her head and left before she said or did something stupid.

Obviously Bucky had some issue, Velvet hoped he didn't get copies of the pictures but his reaction to seeing her convinced her that he must have.

She made it to her car before any tears fell. All the work she did to get clean, get away from Roger and his influence but it just followed her across the country.

Bucky and Steve went into Maria's office to give their reports from the mission.

Bucky asked "Is everything ok with Velvet? Did something happen?"

Maria looked at him "No, Nothing serious, we were discussing some regular upgrades to her security system."

Bucky nodded and let Steve do most of the talking for the rest of the meeting.

When Bucky went back to his quarters he saw a stack of mail and just tossed it on his desk to deal with later.

He still didn't know how to face Velvet knowing that he was responsible for her disability and when he finally fell asleep, had nightmares of the Winter Soldier hurting her. He woke up screaming.

July 4th. After morning chores Velvet took Lexi for a ride to help her relax and think. She hadn't heard anything from Bucky since he returned.

She sent a text asking if he would be coming back to the stable and received an *I'm busy but when things calm down* reply. She sighed and figured she'd have to wait till the party, if he even went.

After her ride she drove to the compound to get ready with Wanda and Nat. They all chatted and helped each other get ready, not needing to get too fancy for a BBQ party.

Wanda didn't mean to see anything while she was working on Velvet's hair but the feelings were too intense and she gasped at what she saw.

"What's wrong, Wanda?" Velvet asked concerned.

Wanda shook her head "I'm so sorry. I wasn't trying to see anything but your feelings are so strong. Are you ok Velvet?"

Velvet's eyes grew wide "Wanda, what did you see?"

"I'm so sorry Velvet, I didn't mean to. I saw pictures of you. Someone's trying to blackmail or threaten you over them. Aren't they?"

Velvet closed her eyes and sighed "It's ok just please don't say anything to anyone. Only Nat and Maria know. I think it's my ex and Maria told me FRIDAY found him on a subway surveillance camera but they still haven't found him."

"Don't worry Velvet we won't let him hurt you." Wanda promised.

Velvet wasn't reassured but kept it to herself, she just hoped Bucky would feel the same way instead of rejecting her for being an addict and whore like in her nightmares for the last few nights.

Chapter 9

[gubbles-owo]

When whipping up Railgun in two weeks' time for a game jam, I aimed to make the entire experience look and feel as N64-esque as I could muster in that short span. But the whole game was constructed in Godot, a modern engine, and targeted for PC. I just tried to look the part. Here is the same bedroom scene running on an actual Nintendo 64:

I cannot overstate just how fucking amazing this is.

Obviously this is not using Godot anymore, but an open source SDK for the N64 called Libdragon. The 3D support is still very much in active development, and it implements-- get this-- OpenGL 1.1 under the hood. What the heck is this sorcery...

UH OH, YOU'VE BEEN TRAPPED IN THE GEEK ZONE! NO ESCAPE NO ESCAPE NO ESCAPE EHUEHUHEUHEUHEUHUEH While there is a gltf importer for models, I didn't want to put my faith in a kinda buggy importer with an already (in my experience) kinda buggy model format. I wanted more control over how my mesh data is stored in memory, and how it gets drawn. So instead I opted for a more direct solution: converting every vertex of every triangle of every object in the scene by fucking hand.

THERE ARE NEARLY NINE HUNDRED LINES OF THIS SHIT. THIS TOOK ME MONTHS. And these are just the vertices. I had to figure out triangle drawing PER VERTEX. You have to construct each triangle counterclockwise in order for the front of the face to be, well, the front. In addition, starting the next tri with the last vertex of the previous tri is the most efficient, so I plotted out so many diagrams to determine how to most efficiently draw each mesh. And god the TEXTURES. When I painted the textures for this scene originally, I went no larger than 64 x 64 pixels for each. The N64 has an infamously minuscule texture cache of 4kb, and while there were some different formats to try and make the most of it, I previously understood this resolution to be the maximum. Guess what? I was wrong! You can go higher. Tall textures, such as the closet and hallway doors, were stored as 32 x 64 in Godot. On the actual N64, however, I chose the CI4 texture format, aka 4-bit color index. I can choose a palette of 16 colors, and in doing so bump it up to 48 x 84.

On the left, the original texture in Godot at 32 x 64px. On the right, an updated texture on the N64 at 48 x 84px. Latter screenshot taken in the Ares emulator.

The window, previously the same smaller size, is now a full 64 x 64 CI4 texture mirrored once vertically. Why I didn't think of this previously in Godot I do not know lol

Similarly, the sides of the monitors in the room? A single 32 x 8 CI4 texture. The N64 does a neat thing where you can specify the number of times a texture repeats or mirrors on each axis, and clip it afterwards. So I draw a single vent in the texture, mirror it twice horizontally and 4 times vertically, adjusting the texture coordinates so the vents sit toward the back of the monitor.

The bookshelf actually had to be split up into two textures for the top and bottom halves. Due to the colorful array of books on display, a 16 color palette wasn't enough to show it all cleanly. So instead these are two CI8 textures, an 8-bit color index so 256 colors per half!! At a slightly bumped up resolution of 42 x 42. You can now kind of sort of tell what the mysterious object on the 2nd shelf is. It's. It is a sea urchin y'all it is in the room of a character that literally goes by Urchin do ddo you get it n-

also hey do u notice anything coo,l about the color of the books on each shelf perhaps they also hjint at things about Urchin as a character teehee :3c I redid the ceiling texture anyways cause the old one was kind of garbage, (simple noise that somehow made the edges obvious when tiled). Not only is it still 64px, but it's now an I4 texture, aka 4-bit intensity. There's no color information here, it's simply a grayscale image that gets blended over the vertex color. So it's half the size in memory now! Similarly the ceiling fan shadow now has a texture on it (it was previously just a black polygon). The format is IA4, or 4-bit intensity alpha. 3 bits of intensity (b/w), 1 bit of alpha (transparency). It's super subtle but it now has some pleasing vertex colors that compliment the lighting in the room!

Left, Godot. Right, N64. All of the texture resolutions either stayed the same, or got BIGGER thanks to the different texture formats the N64 provides. Simply put:

THE SCENE LOOKS BETTER ON THE ACTUAL N64.

ALSO IT RUNS AT 60FPS. MOSTLY*. *It depends on the camera angle, as tried to order draw calls of everything in the scene to render as efficiently as I could for most common viewing angles. Even then there are STILL improvements I know I can make, particularly with disabling the Z-buffer for some parts of the room. And I still want to add more to the scene: ambient sounds, and if I can manage it, the particles of dust that swirl around the room. Optimization is wild, y'all. But more strikingly... fulfilling a childhood dream of making something that actually renders and works on the first video game console I ever played? Holy shit. Seeing this thing I made on this nearly thirty-year-old console, on this fuzzy CRT, is such a fucking trip. I will never tire of it.

[be-ready-when-i-say-go]

Sweet Dreams--Part 13

Calum and you have dance around reality for a few months now. But after Calum leaves and returns from a trip, the reality has to be confronted. 

Weeks are passing and maybe more is blooming between you and Calum than might meet the eye.

Prince!Calum x Reader Insert.

Series Masterlist

Complete Masterlist

You can feel your pulse in your thighs, a steady thump, thump, thumpity, thump pulsing from your lower back to your toes. It’s this rhythm of your heart in your legs that lets you know the day’s been long and hard. The arch of your shoes presses up into the muscle of your feet and it feels like a thousand pinpricks. You’re ready to take a hot shower, wash the smell of hot grease and oil off your skin. But you’re delayed. A nasty swerve to avoid hitting a dog in the road left you without your car while the mechanic works on the tire you’d hit against the curb. They told you it was the lower control arm and ball joint when you got it to the shop. That particular store didn’t have the parts and had to get them from one of their companion stores not too far from. 

What failed to come to fruition until the work started was just how bad you hit the curb, to the point where it was recommended that you get a new tire and rim. The new parts took an additional day as you had to coordinate with the local dealership to get the dealer standard rim and to lug it back to your mechanic thanks to Calum chauffeuring you around. It still irked you how the shop was trying to insist that you needed a second new tire in order to maintain the balance and tread of the tires. A tactic that you smelled miles away as false considering you’d just replaced all four tires a month prior. But you would replace the one tire that needed and rotate the remaining three, which would hopefully fix the issue and lead you to picking up your car on Monday. 

Today is not Monday though. It’s 7 PM after your Sunday shift. The streetlights are on; you watch cars whizz by. You told Calum that you’d be done by 7PM, given how long it takes to clean the kitchen and how late some orders come in. You don’t see his truck, though he did text you at 6:40 that he was on the way. You figure at the least that it’s just traffic. Your other coworkers are packing themselves into their cars. But PJ halts, a yard or two from you, his keys clacking as he calls out your name. “You okay? You sure you don’t need a ride home?” he asks. 

You take a look at your phone again. Just a couple minutes past seven. “I’m okay,” you call back out. 

If all else actually fails, you do have enough change to get the bus. The last one will come your way around 8:30. You’re hoping that should Calum also be held up by something, you’re notified about it well in advance.

“You sure?” PJ asks, he starts in a jog back in your direction. “I don’t mind. Gotta make sure you get home safe. I know not having your car isn’t fun.”

The words don’t have time to curl your lips to tell PJ that you got here due to the bus and would be able to get home because of it. Calum was originally only picking you up because tomorrow’s the final fitting for your attire to the holiday charity event. It would be easier for him to get you tonight so that you’re already in the palace for the fitting and then he’d take you to get your car tomorrow when you got the call it was ready. But those words don’t get the chance to breathe before your name is called out from the distance behind you. The voice makes your heart race. There’s a bit of a slur to the syllables and you pray. You pray you’re wrong. 

“Diana?” you ask, turning to her. 

She hazards another small step. She’s only in a t-shirt and jeans. Which won’t handle the cold November evening should this altercation take too long. You’re hoping it won’t. But as your heart thunders in your chest, you wonder how long a second can actually feel. What does this mean for how long a minute will last? 

“Hi,” she waves. 

“Do you know her?” PJ questions. 

You nod, though the bitter words on your tongue to say unfortunately you do know her. But you don’t say that. “She’s my mother,” you answer, turning back to him. “Let me-let me handle this and I’ll catch up with you all Tuesday.”

“Oh, yeah, sure. I’m only like ten minutes from here, give me a ring if you still need that ride.”

“Thanks, PJ.” The two of you share a tight lipped smile. It says everything that’s needed--you: an apology for the intrusion, the understanding that this is all strange and new and PJ: the acceptance, the quiet understanding of how much this is an intrusion but not that he’s going to be rude.

“You’re welcome,” he returns and then turns to head back to his car. 

You tread closer to Diana, slowly as you go. She looks wobbly as she approaches. You know deep in your gut that she's been drinking. Her keys dangle from her fingers so loosely you’re already preparing to have to catch them should they slip from her hands. Though you do find yourself questioning how she found out about where you work now, you’re more worried about the fact that she’s driven herself inebriated. It doesn’t even matter what she wants anymore or why she’s come. She risked her life and the lives of everyone else on the road in this state. What was October, when you stopped Charlie from going back into that house, but a warning for what this cold November night is bringing. 

“Diana, what are you doing here?” you whisper out, pressed between tightly pressed teeth like a parent to a child who’s attempting to keep from making a scene. 

“I needed to talk to you,” she returns with a huff. “You’re not an easy person to find.” Her laughter is light, a smile crossing her face of humor at the situation, as if somehow this is the appropriate stage for whatever discussion she needs to have with you. 

“Talk to me about what? Why not call me?”

“It’s the holidays. You should be home, not wherever you are. It’s not right that you’re not there. And you’d never listen for long if I called and you realized it wasn’t about Teagan or Charlie. You’d ha-” a hiccup interrupts her words. “You’d hang up on me. I know it.”

You probably wouldn’t have an indepth conversation. You know that and it’s no shock that she knows it too. But nonetheless, something about the truth from her feels like an open wound doused in alcohol--sharp and leaves you hissing. You didn’t think the confrontation with Melvin was wrong. You just hadn’t seen the reality behind his words. The closer you get to Charlie and Teagan, the more hope grows in your mother. You remember Mrs. Davis from the park, how she said she thought your mother missed you. It’s easy to push things to the side when it’s someone removed from the situation telling you. But there’s no pushing Diana aside. Not when she’s on the sidewalk, keys still dangling on the edge of falling, in a t-shirt and jeans in the cold of this night. 

Diana’s human. You see it as her eyes gaze over you unsteady, like she can’t decide which part she wants to look at first, or perhaps it’s the alcohol that’s got her gaze swaying. You don’t ever remember her ever being this bad when you were young. Perhaps, she’s lost some of her tolerance in the years of sobriety. How unfortunate the diagnosis is to be human, staring your mother who’s also human in the face. 

“Diana, I don’t think you’re in the right state of mind to have this conversation right now.”

“See! It’s that! That drives me insane!” she snaps, keys clacking ruthlessly in the fierce shake of her arms. 

You wish you could articulate that you’re trying to save her--from you, from the consequences. Because you don’t want to be the bad guy. You don’t want to do what’s going to come next. Yet there’s no way around it. Immovable objects meet unstoppable forces--the two of you are colliding and only you know the outcome. Only you see the sparks and embers that are starting the wildfire. But there’s no use in trying to get through to her in this state. You need to deescalate. “Hey, hey, okay. Please, I don’t want to make you upset.”

“You don’t call me Mom. It’s always Diana. It’s always Melvin. We’re you’re fucking parents for crying out loud!” The more she speaks, the louder she gets. This is not a situation you ever had control over, if you did, she wouldn’t have approached you like this. But what little steering you could’ve done to keep the conversation cordial is leaving you. 

Bright lights illuminate behind you. The rumble of an engine is not loud enough to drown out her huffs. Though you suspect it’s Calum, and you feel the twitch to flee, you remain steadfast, watching as you debate how much you can engage with her reasonably. Not that you need to, you know that. But you cannot leave her here; you cannot leave her drunk to drive back home again. You won’t abandon her, not like this. “If you get in with Calum, we’ll take you back. So that you get home safely.”

 “We’re your parents!” she echoes, talking over your words. “And we want you home! You work fifteen fucking minutes from us. And for how long? Huh? How long have you worked so close to us? Were you ever going to tell us? We don’t want Calum. We want you!”

These don’t seem like questions that should they get answered, the answers will make her happy. But you’re not sure the silence helps either. It’s the alcohol you know that’s conflating your mention of Calum with some meaning that you want him to replace you. But you swear as you look at Diana seething in front of you, you see the terror and heartbreak that would befall Teagan and Charlie if you don’t help her. 

“Diana,” you don’t care how much it pisses her off either.  “You’re not in your right mind. Let me just get you home.” You know she’s drunk but you can’t bring yourself to say the words as if somehow if you keep avoiding the truth, you’ll be able to dodge what happens when you get back to the house. As if somehow feigning ignorance will keep you from helping Teagan and Charlie pack their bags. 

“I am your mother! Your mother for crying out loud. Do not call me by my name like that. Just get into the car with me and come home.” Diana flails one arm in the direction of her truck. She points like it’s taking nearly all her strength to stay upright. 

 “Is it about me? Or is this about you?” you question. Patience will save you in the end but yours is wearing thin. To think she could charge down here after you’ve worked all day to make such demands. It’s easy to say it’s the alcohol, but you know that’s only the match to start the fire. Diana’s always been stubborn. “You have a family right now. Two children who love you and need you dearly. A husband who’s made deals with the devil for you. Is this really about wanting me home or is this about you?”

“What? What did Melvin do?” The words rush into each other as Diana speaks. “What are you talking about?”

I just want to save you from me, you think to yourself. A warm hand rests on your back, the smell of Calum’s cologne falling your way due to the change of direction in the breeze. He’s silent otherwise. The car seems to continue to rumble behind the three of you, you can hear the engine though the lights are off. 

Diana waves a hand in front of her face, as if clearing fog in front of her. “You know what, that doesn’t matter. What matters is that I want you back home. Just come back home.” 

It feels hollow. Though you know it has to mean something for Diana to confront you, you just don’t believe that even as intoxicated as she is that there’s nothing more sinister beneath the surface. Perhaps, you keep waiting for it as some sort of vindication. As a way to prove to yourself that Diana will always be selfish in her desires. “Tell me why,” you demand once again. You just need her to say it. 

“You’re going to make me say it? Like I don’t already know I’m a monster for what I’ve done to you? Melvin and I were fucking kids when we had you. You remember being in your early twenties. You were going out with your friends no less, drinking the ni-” a hiccup interrupts her rant, “nights away. You wanted to have fun, let loose. And we couldn’t. Because we had you. And we fucked up, okay? Is that what you want to hear? We fucked up having a kid so young. Fucking imagine it. Twenty-two, twenty-three with your life just starting for it to all come to a screeching halt.

“I didn’t know anything about being a mother. Melvin didn’t know anything about being a father. We were just kids ourselves. And it looked so bleak at the start. Our careers hadn’t quite taken off yet but we could see where it was all going. But what were we going to do with a child too? All we had as some semblance of being parents was keep you alive, get you into school, and try to survive. But we fucked it, because guess what? It was a lot better to numb it all away in vodka, or tequila, or whatever we could get our hands on. Okay? We fucked it all up with you.  Even when Melvin’s parents passed away, we got that house and things started to look okay, we still fucked it.” 

Her laughter escapes her thick and wet. It sounds like the tears are choking on sour amusement. Her head falls, hair falling in a curtain around her face. Graying in the same way you notice Melvin’s--the years have aged them well beyond their early fifties. When she looks back up at you, all you see is how human she is. The wobbly chin, the snot running from her nose. It is a terrible existence to be human. You don’t even know what to say to such an admission of guilt. Your chest tightens but you don’t know if it’s anger or relief. Because you understand a little bit better now that the rush of parenthood could not have been easy. The vulnerability doesn’t make everything all better, just paints a deeper and fuller picture. You’ll still hurt just a little because of what they did. Diana will still be human. She’ll still big the person who was supposed do raise you but still fucked it up. 

Because at the end of the day, she was just unprepared. 

And you were just a kid unprepared too. The three of you thrusted into a whirlwind of life with not a thing to ground any of you, a lightning rod for the heartache and trauma as it turned out. But you’re tired of the lightning striking. Diana fucked up. Melvin fucked up. You fucked up. Because you’re all human. Though you want the words, I’m sorry, to follow you, you wonder if this is the best you’ll get. Your parents admitted to what they did. 

Your mouth falls, jaw slacking just a little but you don’t even have words right now for what you want to say. For wanting to almost thank you for finally admitting the truth. You want to tell her how much you hoped she hurt because you did too, but clearly none of that wishing was well spent. You want to tell her that you’re done. What you have is just what you have, and you don’t want to fight for anything more right now. But all you have are the half started syllables that croak out your throat. 

Diana’s voice is soft as she continues. “What were young twenty-somethings supposed to do in a house that fucking nice, in that neighborhood, besides fuck things up a little. But we’re-” another hiccup, “we’re better now. Just please come home. Let me in. That’s-that’s all I want. Let me in please. I am sick, so sick of everyone in that neighborhood watching you come and go with Charlie and Teagan. And I know they won’t ask. But they don’t need to because they have whatever stories they’ve made up in their heads. The way they just look at me and Melvin! It gets under my skin. It’s like I wear shame tattooed to my forehead. I can’t-I can’t keep going on like this.”

The two of you can’t keep this up. And just as much as you wanted to say thank you, you’re glad you didn’t. Because part of Diana’s desire is selfish, but aren’t they always. “Maybe we have to let each other go,” you return. “Maybe we’ve got to let things go.”

“I can’t. I just can’t. If I do, then I’ve failed.” Her voice shakes more. The sobs come racking up her chest. She curls into herself, keys clattering to the ground with the action. Diana is a leaf in a strong wind as she shakes. “Oh, I’ve failed,” she sobs. 

Your feet are carrying you the foot gap, your backpack thumping against your back. “You’ve got Charlie, and Teagan to be there for. Don’t fail them,” you encourage. It’s awkward as you straighten from grabbing her keys. You know this is where you might hold her to your chest, hug her tight and tell her that you’ll come home. 

But you know you won’t. Instead, you wind an arm around the back of her, guiding her gently towards Calum’s truck. Diana follows, a constant sniffle as she walks. Calum opens the door for her. But he watches you before speaking, “I got her. If that’s okay, of course.” 

The last sentence gives you pause. You watch, a hard line around his mouth at his displeasure. A tension pushing at his jaw like he wants to say more, but he won’t. Or perhaps, he’s asking for permission. Because you did ask him to take a step back with Diana. To let you handle her and only for him to intervene would you say he could. 

You nod. “Yeah, it’s okay, thanks. I’m going to take her car. Just keep her safe, yeah?”

“Always.”

You don’t even make it three steps before you catch the rumble of Calum’s voice. He’s not yelling, but he is clearly firm in his tone. Each word pushed over his lips heavy and weighty. “Are you trying to risk losing all three of your children? You want so much as a mother and I can sympathize with that. That’s your kid too walking to your car right now because you’re much too drunk to drive. Think about Charlie and Teagan who still need their mother. You have to do right by the two of them. Charlie and Teagan need to be your focus, not what you don’t have and not what other people think about you. I’ll take care of my partner. I will be there for them. I will do, be, give, and take care of whatever their needs are. You let me take care of them, let that be my responsibility, okay? But for the sake of your two children still under your care, forgive yourself and focus on them. Learn from the mistakes you’ve already made and do not repeat them again after tonight.”

Diana’s truck’s not hard to miss. Her park is crooked enough to make it obvious how she misjudged where the lines are. But not so obvious that you wondered how no cop pulled her over. The second you turn the engine on, the AC blast through the vents. The cabin has a sharp smell--old alcohol that’s dried down in the air. In the cupholders, you notice a pink tumbler. You shouldn’t. You already know she’s been drinking, but you crack it open and take a smell. The alcohol greets you well before you get the cup to your nose. 

There’s not many places to hide bottles so you turn on the light overhead to find a clean floors. Even in the back, though you do spot the spots where Teagan and Charlie probably sit, there’s not much in terms of crumbs or a mess. You turn back to the front and ease the glovebox open. It’s unlocked which is a saving grace. But as it falls open, you notice the small bottles clicking--collected undoubtedly over the weeks. 

“Oh, Diana,” you whisper as you close it. “I was hoping you’d make this harder for me.” Yet she hadn’t. She’d fallen so perfectly into her own demise and all you had to do was wait. You wanted her to get better. You wanted Melvin to get through to her. But she’s made her choices. And you made yours. 

You pull into the driveway of your childhood home and pull to the side of the house. The lights from Calum’s car cut out behind you but you watch. You watch in the rearview mirror as he gets out first and walks to the passenger side. He cracks open the door and Diana comes spilling out, unsteady and clumsy like a freshly born giraffe. The sight of her makes you question how you even got back to the house. All you could focus on were the rattle of the bottles as you drove, how you imagined they rolled around as you took turns. Did you run any red lights? Were you cutting people off? The memory of the route is so engrained that you just didn’t register the drive until now. Calum’s words, You let me take care of them, let that be my responsibility, ring in your ears. For the sake of your two children still in your care, forgive yourself and focus on them. 

But Charlie and Teagan. But Charlie and Teagan. 

How are they going to take it when you pull them away? Are they going to hate you? Would it even matter? Would their hatred even stop you once you open this car door? Your inhale is timed with the press of the push start to cut off the engine. Your exhale is timed with the cracking of the door. 

At the front steps, Diana reaches for her keys. You hold the keys still in your hand, out of her reach, and knock on the door. The shame crawls up her face. It swallows her even more than Calum’s coat around her frame. The door creaks open. “Di?” You hear Melvin as you watch Diana. She shrinks more into the coat over her shoulders. “Calum?” Melvin questions next. Your name follows in equal confusion. “Oh, damn it, Di, what have you done, baby?”

You hold her keys out to Melvin. He wraps his hands around the fob and you release your grip. “Melvin, are Charlie and Teagan here by chance? Are they asleep?” you ask and turn to face him now. 

He’s dawned in pajamas, clearly retired for the evening. “They’re here. Uh, they’re, they’re watching a movie right now.”

“I’m taking them. For the week.”

“No, no, you can’t,” Diana whimpers. “Please don’t. Please.”

“There’s a vodka bottle in the glovebox of her car as she confessed to me,” Calum interjects. “We are taking Charlie and Teagan for the week.”

“Mel, please,” Diana begs. 

“There are actually several bottles in her glovebox,” you add. “The small ones but still a few. Do you want to go take a trip to see?” you offer, watching the horror widen Diana’s eyes. 

“Fuck, I’m sorry. Please don’t take the kids from us,” she begs. 

“Di, I have been telling you that you needed to get extra help. I’ve told you that there were some consequences I couldn’t stop if things got worse. I’d rather Charlie and Teagan wonder why they got picked up for a week than for them to see much worse.” Melvin takes her hands gently, even as she whimpers and tugs against his hold. She’s ultimately too weak, and possibly too drunk to break Melvin’s hold. Once she’s secure to his chest, Calum’s jacket still around her shoulder, Melvin nods over his shoulder. “They’re in the living room.”

Calum takes your hand, his thumb a steady stroke over your skin. But he doesn’t move. The two of you watch each other, and Calum only nods. Maybe you were waiting for him to remind you this is what you’re supposed to do. Maybe you were waiting for someone to remind you that what you’re doing is coming from the right place.  But it’s enough for your legs to move again. You take the first step, up and over the threshold. The house is warm as you enter it. Diana whimpers behind you but you carry on. The TV gets louder as you get closer, Charlie and Teagan curled up under a shared blanket. 

Charlie spots you first, smiling. “You’re just in time for the best part,” he grins. 

You nod, hoping you can put on a realistic enough smile. “What are you watching?” your voice shakes and it betrays every hope you’ve had for this moment. To ease them out from the comfort of their film, ease them up the stairs, ease them into packing their own clothes for the week. 

His brows pull together. Charlie hands the bowl of popcorn to Teagan as he reaches for the remote. You want to stop him, tell him to keep watching for just a little bit longer. But he’s faster and pauses the movie. “What happened? Is it Mom?”

The little boy you’re dying to protect-the sweet innocent kid who should never have to grow up in the blink of an eye-morphs. You watch the frown lines and you know. Charlie’s probably known more than you ever suspected. “You two are going to spend the week with me and Calum. Is that okay?” you ask. 

“Will you tell me what’s wrong with Mom? Dad won’t tell us,” Charlie presses. 

God, you don’t want to do this. You know it should be Melvin’s job. You feel the trembles now in your own hands. “She really needs some help--doctors you know? Like there’s doctors for eyes, and legs, and hearts. There’s doctor’s for your mind. She just needs a little extra help so she can continue to be the mom that tucks y’all in at night and goes to school plays, and dance practices.”

“Her car smelled funny lately. Is it because of that?” Teagan questions. 

The sob chokes you, but you swallow it mostly down. You knew there was always more that they probably knew. But not that. Never did you ever want that. The tears are hot as you glance up at the ceiling. They sting along your lashes and you fight every ounce, every gram and molecule of your body not to scream. They’d fucked it up with you and that was supposed to be it.  It was only supposed to happen to you. 

Calum’s hand tightens around yours and all you can do is nod at Teagan’s question.  “She’s going to get help though,” Calum interjects. “Okay? That’s the important part. But you two will get an insider scope on the palace for a few days in the meantime.”

“Did you pack like I told you?” Charlie turns to Teagan with the question. And you know you can’t hold it in. The dam you’d been desperate to keep back breaks. 

“Fuck,” you whisper, shaky and behind it a soft but clear sob echoes behind it. “And I know, I know, I owe to the swear jar,” you follow up, almost immediately. 

“We’ll let it slide this time,” Teagan laughs. Her own voice sounds thick and shaky. 

Peeling your hand from Calum’s, you squat down in front of the couch, smoothing a hand over the side of their heads. “I never wanted this to happen to you two. Okay? Never. I wanted you to get all the bedtime stories you could stomach until you threw up. I wanted you two to do ballet, and play sports, and let me sneak you candy and get in trouble with Melvin because of it. I wanted you two to play in the backyard until you lost your voices and have Diana tell you to come inside and to please actually wash your hands before dinner. I know you can have that. But I don’t make the decision to take you from all that lightly. Okay? I love you guys so much.”

“We love you too,” Charlie whispers, slipping his arms around your neck in a hug. “Can we do all that with you?”

You can’t make promises that you don’t know if you can keep. But you know for damn sure, you’ll do everything you can to make it feel like it’s the same. “Kiddo, I’ll give it my best shot,” you whisper before kissing the top of his head. “I’ll do my damndest.”

Teagan wastes very little time to pile on, her body shaking in your hold. “I know, Teag. I know. You can bring the unicorn. I don’t care if we suffocate in that car because of it.”

She laughs, brief albeit, between her cries. But it’s a laugh nonetheless. 

They’re too big, you know that. But you collect Charlie and Teagan into your arms as best you can and cart them up the stairs. Diana and Melvin are nowhere to be found on the first floor, but upstairs may be a totally different story. Teagan tightens her hold around the collar of your t-shirt. She’s only getting a nose full of the grease and fish as it was the special this week. But she doesn’t seem to care. “We’ll all go together,” you promise into her hair. 

It’s not easy work to cart the added weight up the stairs, but you’re thankful for all the days in the gym you do get as you work your way up. You stop at Teagan’s room first. She slips down to crack open the door, but stands for a moment. “This…” she pauses and then looks to you. “Can I swear?”

You nod, holding out a fake note. “There’s your temporary pass.”

“This shit sucks,” she huffs. 

“Yeah,” you agree as Teagan walks inside. Her bedroom’s decked out with cotton candy pink fairy wallpaper, a baby pink canopy bed with her unicorn tucked into one corner of the room. The stuffed animal is huge but Calum wordlessly crosses the room to grab it. You get Charlie down and help Teagan with her bag. You double check it--there’s enough underwear for the week and a change of clothes after school but she’s missing an extra set of pj’s and her uniforms. You gather all that, including her toiletries, and sling the bag on your shoulder. She carries her shoes. 

The four of you carry on to Charlie’s room and follow a similar routine. You check the already prepared bag, add extra socks, pj’s and his school uniforms into the bag. “Anything you want to bring extra?” Calum asks. “Some figurines or books?”

“Can we bring the jumbo puzzle?” Charlie asks, pointing to a box on his shelf. 

“Absolutely,” he nods. 

A coloring book each and pencils gets tacked onto the list, but they keep the extra fairly minimal. Calum offers to take the first round of bags and the unicorn down to the truck. While he does that, you do another round to grab their school bags. They both help you with what they need but thankfully a lot of it are folders, notebooks, a few paperback books but nothing heavy. By the time you descend down the stairs, you notice Melvin waiting by the front door. He looks worried, chewing at his bottom lip. You’d be more upset if he didn’t seem so upset. 

As the stairs creak with your descent, he looks up. “Hey kiddos,” he starts. “It’s going to be hard. It’s okay if it’s scary right now. But I talked to your sibling about this ahead of time. You’ll be back home by Saturday. But I need you two to go with them and Calum for a few days. You’ll be able to call me anytime, okay? Day or night, I’m going to answer.”

“Why is Mom sick?” Teagan asks. “Is she going to the doctors like they say?”

Those are the million dollar questions, you know it. Melvin does too and the only thing you can do for a moment is share the same dead eye stare, because only Teagan would know exactly what to ask. 

Melvin sighs. “Your mom and I made pretty poor choices when we were raising your sibling. I know, a shock, right? Dear old dad making mistakes, no way. But I did. Your mom made mistakes too. We didn’t choose the best way to handle our situation at first and it led to some very big and hard consequences. Your sibling’s definitely been through a lot because of our choices. But your mom and I, we got help so we could do our best not to make those same choices again that might hurt you or Charlie the same-” the words catch. His voice quakes but Melvin continues on. “So we don’t hurt you the same way we hurt your sibling. And while we got better, it’s hard sometimes to always make the best choice. Like that time, Teagan, you forgot to hand me and mom the candy bar and we left the store without paying for it. So we told you that either you could go back with one of us and pay for it yourself or I would go back with it and return the candy because we didn’t pay and you didn’t want to choose either, right?”

Teagan nods. “Yeah, I remember. It was not fun.”

Melvin hums in agreement. “Yeah. Sometimes, the best choice is hard to make and you make the wrong one. Mom’s just having a hard time making the best choice right now. And sometimes the choices are smaller like the candy bar and sometimes they’re bigger. So Mom’s not sick in the same way you get sick with a tummy ache and go to the doctors. But she needs extra help to make the best choice here and there’s doctors that can help her.”

“I just want her to be okay. That’s all,” Teagan states. 

“I know you do, sweetpea. So do I. This won’t be a fun transition. The next couple days are going to be weird. And when you come back, Mom won’t be around for a little bit. It’s going to be strange and that’s okay if it feels heavy.”

“Can we just focus on the next few days? I don’t have a brain for much more,” Charlie interjects. 

“Yeah, yeah, of course, kiddo. Of course. I’m sorry. It is a lot, isn’t it? Let’s just focus on getting your shoes and jackets on. That okay? Then you can go with Calum and your sibling and they’ll take you to the palace.”

“Can we finish Wall-E at the castle?” Teagan questions. 

“It is my favorite,” Calum answers. “So, of course we can.” 

She grins. “I knew I liked you.”

Melvin helps get them both into their shoes and jackets--puffers bundled around their bodies to withstand the chill. It’s all too real when Charlie and Teagan reach a hand out each to you. You’re really taking them. You’re really telling Diana that she can’t repeat history again. You’re really doing the thing you’d wish someone had done with you. There’s a cacophony of ‘I love you’s’ like Charlie, Teagan, and Melvin can’t get them out fast enough. He helps get them into the car, a kiss to both their hands before the doors close. 

You don’t even register how the wind whips until you notice the billowing of Melvin’s flannel pajama pants in the night. “Keep them at home through Tuesday. I’ll call the school and let them know they’ll be out those days. Once I get their work, we can arrange something, yeah? So they don’t fall behind.” 

“I-I’m off tomorrow,” you return. “I have to pick up my car from the mechanics and do a fitting, but we can meet after work for you or something. And then that way, they’ll have the evening to do the work. I’ll call off Tuesday too, I guess.”

“Uh, here’s some cash for extra groceries too,” Melvin hands you the bills, a hundred on the top and a sizable stack in the middle of some smaller denominations. “And whatever else they may need during the week. Uh, no one’s currently on any meds. The last day for the antibiotics for Teagan’s ear infection was a couple days ago. So, she might still be a little bit more thirsty than usual. I’ll reschedule Charlie’s dentist appointment until the new year which will make it easier since Teagan missed hers too thanks to the ear infection. But yeah, I’m sorry this happened this way. Di told me she showed up at your job and that sounds pretty awful. I’m just glad she didn’t hit anyone drunk.”

“Makes two of us. But, I don’t need this much, Melvin. It’s--”

He folds his arms to his chest, closing himself off from the outstretched stack. “Keep it. Just keep it all, please.”

You nod and pocket the money. “Thanks, for telling them. The way you did. That couldn’t have been easy.”

“But they needed the truth. So you’re welcome. My ringer is on. So if you or if they need to give a ring, it’s all okay. Seriously, time doesn’t matter. I did add you to the drop off and pick up list at the school. I just did it Friday actually.”

“Oh. How lucky is that.”

Melvin’s smile is short lived, a short tuft of laughter falling from him. “Yeah, quite lucky. I’m trying to think if there’s anything else you’ll need. But I’m drawing a blank.”

“If, if anything comes up, just give me a ring. I’ll let my job know I need my phone on me because of some family stuff. It shouldn’t be a problem.” 

Melvin nods, but you watch his gaze, locked in where Teagan and Charlie are on the inside of the truck. He’s just a man--a father too--but he’s just a man and he knows he’s faulty. He knows he’s not perfect but all he wants now is to do right by his kids. Whether or not you count yourself in that mix doesn’t matter or stop Melvin from caring. 

“If, if it means anything, I appreciate your strength and courage. I know none of this is easy for you or for them.” It’s strange to offer Melvin that comfort. You don’t know if it’s truly your place or not, but you can see the quake of his lips, how his eyes glaze over. You understand what it means to be human. 

It’s a long moment, Melvin regarding you like someone would a wild animal--in awe, but still cautious. His arms drop, but hang for just a moment in the air like he might go for a hug. You think it may not be a bad idea but you don’t rush forward. His arms fall back down at his sides, but he smiles.  “Thank you. That means a lot.”

The evening falls hard. After you get Teagan and Charlie to the palace and help them with their bags plus yours to the residency wing, all you want to do deep in your bones is crash hard. But you help them settle down, tucked up into the lounge chair of a spare room and Calum runs to his room to get a few extra things to help set up the TV for them to resume Wall-E. It’s thick and awkward once you return from your shower. This isn’t the way you wanted to go down. Yet, this is the way it unfolded and you can’t do anything about it. Calum excuses himself, but presses a kiss to your head and promises that he’ll be back. So there’s only you, and Teagan, and Charlie and the movie still playing softly. 

 Teagan waves you over and you settle onto the end of the couch for her. 

“Yeah, Teag?”

“I’m sorry you went through that. What Dad talked about and what you told us before. Didn’t feel real until now I guess.”

You shake your head. “It’s not your fault, Teagan.”

“I know, but still. You didn’t have anyone. And we have you. I wish it were more fair.”

“Thanks, I’m glad you two have me too.” It’s not her job to worry. But you know she’s going to let it go completely, not when she climbs into your lap. 

Charlie slides in to close the gap. “Do we have to go to bed at our normal time?”

“Tonight, Charlie boy, no.”

“And you won’t leave us tonight, right?”

“You two will be in the bed up there and I’ll be asleep here.” The lounge chair rests right up against the full sized bed. So they should have plenty of space to share and you can rest relatively well on the chair below them. “But please do not wake me up with stinky feet in the morning.”

Charlie laughs but tucks into your side. “Don’t give me any ideas.”

One movie turns into two, then into three and by the time ten thirty rolls around, Charlie and Teagan are fast asleep. They have been for the last twenty minutes or so, but you’ve stayed pretty still to avoid waking them. “I think they’re fully asleep now,” you whisper over to Calum. He settled into the other end of the couch, but hadn’t intervened more than just to help--showing them where the bathroom was or getting snacks. But he’s gotten quiet too in the last hour. Maybe he, too, had succumbed to the day. 

Calum lifts his head, slowly towards you and nods. “I’ll take Charlie,” Calum offers. 

“You sure?”

He’s wordless, gingerly getting Charlie into his arms. You get Teagan into your grasps and help tuck her in. They settle easily and it’s an exhale. Your shoulders drop and instantly, the tears are stinging behind your eyes. “Hey, baby,” Calum coos softly. “It’s okay.”

You walk to the foot of the bed and Calum meets you there. It’s instantaneous as you melt into his hug. You don’t know who you’re crying for--them or yourself. But you don’t worry too much about it. It just feels right, like shedding out of something too small for you--you’re happy that the weight can fall with the tears. 

“I got you,” Calum reassures, a hand steady up and down your back. “I got you.”

_________________________________

The floor’s cold. Calum knew it would be when he refused your offer for you two to share the lounge chair. It would really only fit one of you comfortably and while the two of you could’ve made it work, he would rather himself be a bit sore in the morning than you. But you did make him take extra blankets in return. Which Calum is grateful for, but not even the two extra blankets keeps the chill of the floor fully at bay. 

The room’s pretty quiet. The hum of the heat is faint, which lets him know that it should be getting warmer soon. When Calum finally lets his eyes open, he turns his head to the left. You’re still on the chair, flat on your back, but your feet dangling over the edge a little. It’s clear you’re awake too. Maybe for longer than him, but he’s not sure. It’s hard, he figures. First your car, now this. You shook, and shook in his hold last night. He was sure you’d whither away but he didn’t stop you. He couldn’t. 

“Morning,” he whispers. His voice is thick and gruff but you turn to look at him. 

“Morning.” You sound less hoarse. But you do smile. The tears from last night don’t hold to your face--your eyes aren’t red and there’s no puffiness like a post cry usually leaves you. 

“Been up a while?”

“Maybe an hour?”

Calum’s phone shakes against the carpeted floors. He’d texted a few people that his morning meetings would have to be delayed until next week or moved around this week some. But he’s hoping he hasn’t missed anyone. When the screen lights up again, Calum notices a message from Miranda, What happened last night? Are you two okay? 

“Shit,” he huffs, but pushes up to handle what’s bound to be a mess. It’s not like Miranda to worry too much. But Calum can’t remember right now if he’d messaged her last night or not about the ordeal. Now with this, it’s not shaping up to look too good at this moment. 

“Everything okay?”

“It’s Miranda. Let me call her right quick, okay? Then we get breakfast started for them, yeah?”

“Yeah, okay.” But there’s an unease to the way you answer. Calum knows Miranda asking what happened is not good. And you probably suspect it too. 

“I’ll tell you anything you need to know, baby. I made a promise and I intend to keep it.”

“Like you did with Diana?” you questioned. 

He’d hope you’d understand what he was asking for, that he just needed the moment to step in if you’d let him. Calum nods. “Yeah.”

“Miranda’s a tough one,” you muse and then carry your gaze back to the ceiling. “I trust her.”

“Good, because we really don’t have a choice,” Calum teases. Your exhaled laughter is short, but he pushes to his knees and kisses your cheek. “I’ll be back fast.”

Your hand nestles around his jaw--it’s probably a hair stumbly since he shaved yesterday. Though he did actually replace his razor head like he was supposed to so it’s hopefully still a pretty smooth shave for the rest of today at least. You pull him in for a kiss--short, but firm. “Thanks for yesterday. I didn’t say that yet but it means a lot for you to help like you did.”

“Of course, baby. You’re beyond welcome.”

You two share another kiss, no hesitations or worries about the morning breath you both are sporting and Calum eases himself up and out the room, as to not wake Teagan or Charlie who seem to still be solidly asleep. His phone shakes again just as he gets the door closed behind him. Another message from Miranda, Hello? Are you two okay?

Calum’s call is answered immediately. He doesn’t even think a full ring goes through before Miranda is answering, “Holy moly, thank goodness.”

“What are you hearing? It’s almost like you care about me or something for you to be that nervous.” Calum knows she does, but she’s not been quite as vocal about it previously. 

“Well, yes, yes, I would be quite nervous if what I’m hearing is true. There’s some tweets circulating about you and your partner getting into an altercation outside of Forest with some stranger. Some woman attacked you two. What’s going on? Do you know this person?”

“No one was attacked, Miranda. It was their mother confronting them not totally sober about some family stuff. But we probably shouldn’t let that narrative of being attacked circle for too long. That certainly won’t help anyone.”

“Oh, are they okay? Don’t they have siblings too?”

“Yeah, they’re all okay as they can be. Charlie and Teagan are in the castle right now. I alerted security a couple weeks back that the two might need to stay here for a little bit, so there’s nothing left to do on that front. But for the kids sake, it’s not ideal to say it was an attack. Diana’s--she’s not a harm to anyone. Not that way,” Calum offers. She’s definitely a danger to folks if she keeps driving drunk. But he doubts that confrontation would’ve ever gotten violent. Loud--surely, but not physically dangerous. 

“So, we’re saying it’s a private family matter?” Now that’s a question Calum knows he doesn’t need to answer. “Perhaps, we should ask everyone to respect your partner’s right to privacy. This could save you two from needing to handle anything at the charity event in a couple weeks. Two birds, one stone. It’s not entirely ideal, but should we not be on top of this, their mother is going to get crucified.”

It worries Calum--if there is an official statement, god only knows what it could mean for you and your job in terms of safety. So far, you’d made little mention about being recognized. Though, Calum wonders if a lot of that is tied to how little you’re patron facing. This official statement does mean there’s a bigger can of worms about the relationship--how comfortable you are with being in the public eye- but that’s a can of worms that was going to come up eventually, though time was a precious gem in that scenario. Yet, if there’s no statement a whirlwind of scrutiny will surely come. 

“Do it,” Calum exhales. Ideally, he’d tell you first about it, get you to weigh in on the situation. But it’s a lose-lose in either scenario. The thing he won’t do is have Diana villainized in the media though. Though her previous actions aren’t great, and the way she chose to have that conversation was unproductive, she doesn’t deserve to be out in the media nor does she deserve to be a villain publicly. She’s human--as plain and as simple as that. 

“It’ll be released today. But you both will need to approve it. I’ll slate it for noon, try and get it out with enough time for the evening news cycle to pick it up before there’s too much coverage of whatever social media’s coming up with.”

“Just give me a ring when you get it done and we’ll come to look it over.”

“Will do. I’m glad you two are okay and please pass along my care and concern to your partner. Family matters are never easy.”

“I will. Thanks, Miranda.” 

What a way to start the morning, Calum thinks to himself as he concludes the call with Miranda. His text to his mother’s still unanswered. But knowing his mom, she’s at the very least seen the text. It’s probably too cruel to even think about school, but you don’t seem to be rushing and Calum’s going to follow your lead on that. There’s a bit more noise when he eases back into the room, your voice low but still audible from behind the door. He doesn’t make out anything specific until he’s shuffling back into the room. 

“Oh, the lights, they burn,” Charlie huffs, covering his eyes. 

“Sorry, Charlie,” Calum laughs. His hair sticks up off his head in all kinds of directions. 

“Do we have to go to school today?” Teagan asks. 

“No, not until Wednesday. Melvin’s getting your work for today and tomorrow and I’ll pick it up. Would you two like to come too?” They nod at the question, clearly still under sleep’s spell but coherent. 

“You’ll get to see my suit today too,” you offer.  Like maybe you’re hoping it’ll lift their spirits. 

“Suit? For what?” Charlie asks. 

“I painted something for charity and it’s a big fancy thing in December. But I try the suit on again today to make sure it fits well. And I’m pretty sure we will finalize what accessories I’m wearing too or at least get an idea.  I don’t know. It’s all new to me. But I’ll need help though. If you guys are up for it.” 

“Like a ball?” Teagan questions. 

You shrug. “Sort of. But it’s to help raise money for different places who are helping the community, so it’s not just about the fancy clothes.”

“Like a ball,” Teagan concludes and falls back into the pillows. Charlie follows her lead and reclines back too. His descent is less forceful than hers. 

Calum laughs at their antics, easing behind where you are perched at the end of the bed. “Do you guys want a tour after breakfast?” he offers. The fitting’s not until 2 and there’s a long stretch of time before them. 

The two pop right back up. “Could waffles be a thing at breakfast?” Teagan asks. 

“Uh, we can definitely see if it can be done,” Calum answers. He’s not entirely sure if all the supplies are in the kitchen, but given that it’s a little closing in on 8, he’s hoping that most of the kitchen is clear so it’s a little less embarrassing of a scramble.

“I’m in.” She laughs, peeling the covers off herself. “I just need to get dressed.” 

Charlie volunteers to hang back while you help Teagan get ready, but Calum sees it. The same thing in you, a watchfulness is budding in Charlie. A gaze computing and calculating. Calum settles onto the lounge chair, wanting to approach but not wanting to startle. “Can I ask you a question, Charlie?” Calum starts.

The young boy nods, eyes widening a little when his gaze settles. “Yeah, sure.”

“Is there any particular reason why you told Teagan to have a bag packed? Did you notice anything?”

“Overhead Dad talking one night. It was right before bedtime and I got done with my bath so I was going to ask for a couple more minutes to play, but he was on the phone. Heard him talking about how he was worried about Mom and how he wasn’t sure if he should have bags packed for us to stay elsewhere for a little bit. I didn’t hear it all, just went back to my room and picked out the book to read because I got scared about getting in trouble. But the next day I mentioned it to Teagaon. I didn’t understand why we’d have to leave, but now, I guess it makes more sense.”

“I’m sorry you overheard that and now, too, that you have to deal with this big change.”

“Thanks, Calum. It’s-it’s going to be weird if Mom’s not home when we get back.”

Now that Calum hadn’t considered. How custom they were to both parents being in the house. But Diana does need help, intense help and she needs it now more than ever. “New things are always weird and strange, aren’t they at first? But they get less strange with time.” It’s too dismissive to say that things will get better later. But Calum knows time is the biggest aid to new wounds. 

Charlie nods. “I guess they are, yeah.”

Calum can hear from the bathroom attached to the room that you and Teagan may be getting close to done. And it’ll be better to be proactive, Calum figures. “Do you want help? Getting your stuff ready next?”

It’s only a nod, but Calum takes it as a good sign in the end. Charlie’s rather quick to put together his outfit, but it’s clearly a habit for him to lay it out on the bed. When Charlie looks up to Calum, Calum’s not sure what it means but he looks over the clothes--the long sleeve t-shirt and jeans will suffice for the forecasted weather. “A fan of the arts,” Calum jokes, noticing the spiderman logo screen printed onto the front of the shirt. 

Charlie laughs. “Comics. But sure. It’s okay, though, right? The clothes?”

“Yeah, Charlie, they’re alright.”

The thing Calum is sure won’t be alright though is when he has to tell you about the circulation and stories being created. But he knows he has too. He just needs the right opening. It probably won’t be smart to try and discuss it openly in front of Teagan and Charlie, but he has to act fast. Mirana will be calling back soon as she’ll no double be earlier than her self imposed noon deadline. 

In the interim, after Charlie goes to get ready and Teagan settles in front of her bag and starts pulling out hair boss, Calum knows his window is still not open. 

“Would you be okay if I put together an outfit for you today? Just to take that off your hands,” Calum offers to you. He knows you probably have stuff in your bags. But still, he feels like he should offer, that he should take something off your hands if he can. 

“Oh, sure. Thanks, love. Did everything go okay with Miranda?”

“Well, there’s a statement going out,” Calum hazards slowly. “We’ll need to read it together but I think we should discuss it in more detail later.”

The understanding settles--you glance over to Teagan who’s approaching closer and then back to the closed bathroom door. Calum doesn’t shy away, moving in to kiss your forehead. “I know, baby. I know. Just one thing at a time. Breakfast and a tour. Miranda will call me once she’s done.”

“When it rains, it pours, doesn’t it?” you sigh, but nod.

“It’s a good thing the umbrella was invented. I’ll be back in a few minutes with your clothes.”

“Thanks again.”

Calum’s more than happy to do anything and everything to help through the week. It’s going to be hard, he knows or at least theorizes. But he’s happy to do what he can. So if it’s helping you get ready so that you can get Charlie and Teagan ready, he’ll do it. If it means he has to go out and get stuff for waffles, he’ll do it. It doesn’t matter. Because in the end, he knows the things that will stick with you and your siblings are what people did to help. 

Calum is mindful not to take too long as he showers and gets ready. Where the water might cascade down his skin in a lavishly longer shower, Calum keeps it quick. His own attire is second, as he slips into jeans and a sweatshirt. Efficacy takes president over everything. Though you're not overly picky about your attire, Calum does want you to still feel like you’re put together. So he grabs one of his button ups, a bright orange one, and layers one of your solid long sleeved t-shirts under it to withstand the cold. When he gets back to the guestroom, you’re supervising Charlie while he brushes out his own hair. 

“Should I wear it like Calum’s?” Charlie asks you via your reflection. 

“Well,” you chuckle, pulling his fine hairs back gingerly with your fingers. “It might make you look like Ponyboy which I don’t know if that’s your style just yet.”

Charlie shakes his head and brushes it back into his normal style. “Nope, you’re right. Not my style. Who’s Ponyboy?”

“A character from the book, The Outsiders.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever read that.”

“I read it in high school. So that’s not shocking.”

“Do you think I could read it?”

“Let me re-read it first before I answer that because I don’t remember the plot all that well. Though, it’s definitely violent.”

“Okay.”

Calum slides in as Charlie steps out. “Here, baby.” The clothes and your toiletries rest in his hands. It feels like a humbling offering, that this is all he has, but it’s something. It’s better than nothing. “Thank you,” you whisper and then slip back into the bathroom.

“Is this your room?” Teagan asks, looking around the bedroom a bit more closely. 

Calum shakes his head. “No, mine is a few rooms down. But if I’m honest, my room is too messy, so not grounds for a good first impression.”

“I can’t wait to have a messy room.”

“Your room is already messy,” Charlie interjects to Teagan’s point. 

“It’s got a lot of stuff. It’s not messy. We’re not allowed to have messy rooms. You know this.”

Calum can’t help his laughter. At the very least, this kind of bickering hasn’t gone. It’s something he wished he experienced more of. Him and the boys definitely have it, but it’s not quite the same as a sibling, he figures. Charlie huffs that at least he doesn’t have nearly as much stuffed into his room as Teagan, but there’s a bit of a smile between them as they bicker. They know. Just like Calum does, they do care about each other at the end of the day. 

“I know Teagan wants waffles. Anything you fancy, Charlie?” Calum asks. 

He takes a moment to ponder, head swaying as he seemingly goes through the options. “I think I’m feeling oatmeal, if there’s any of course.”

“I think there should be. It’s a shame, isn’t it? That I don’t even know what’s in my own kitchen.” To be fair, Calum does know vaguely what’s in the fridge. But he has grown accustomed to the sort of rotation of a menu being preplanned and then putting in requests for anything special. Undoubtedly, it’s just easier for everyone in the current system, but it would be nice to be a bit more aware about the little things. 

“You’re probably really busy, so it’s understandable,” Teagan offers.

The bathroom door cracks open, you emerging in the bright orange button up still open, and sleeves pulled up on your forearms. Calum likes you in his clothes. It’s not possessive, not some way to mark you as his. It’s the way you look at home. You wear it like it’s always been yours and it’s probably the way it’s not fully buttoned, the bottom tucked loosely into your jeans, a deep v of the material resting against your chest. Calum’s hoping he can see you more often in his clothes, more often in this environment like you belong. 

But as you round up Teagan and Charlie and lead down to the kitchen, Calum thinks maybe in some ways this the ways you do show up like you belong. When you let them into the kitchen first, and you make a beeline straight for the fridge, perhaps Calum should worry less. The kitchen’s quiet. There’s a glass on the counter, left like someone was still drinking from it and stepped away. But Calum’s not sure who it could be. He thinks it’s the girl that took over the night shift after your departure. He hadn’t gotten her name yet. She’s nice--the food’s good and she’s accommodating. But shockingly, even with Calum’s habit of evening snacking, he doesn’t run into her too much. 

Calum helps Teagan and Charlie into the stools at the island counter and then moves to start your coffee. It’s hard wired now, should you stay in the morning, and though Calum still wants to do more, he doesn’t let go of the little things that he can do. The spoon clinks against the mug as he works in the creamer and sugar. Teagan’s waffles are just hitting the iron by the time he gets the liquid to the right shade of brown and slides it your way. 

“Thank you,” you smile at him. 

“You’re welcome. And Charlie asked for oatmeal, if possible,” he adds cracking open one of the pantry doors. Thankfully, a container of oats stares back at him. A saving grace it is as he pulls it down. 

“Got it. What do you want? Usual?”

“Well, minus biscuits,” Calum teases. 

“Next time,” you laugh.

“Oh, hi.” Calum turns at the sound of Teagan’s voice and he spots the new girl on the night shift. Teagan and Charlie wave at her. She waves back, but the shock is still evident on her face. 

“Hi, Val,” you call out over your shoulder. “Those are my siblings--Teagan and Charlie. Sorry if we’re in the way.”

“No, no,” Val returns. “Not in the way, I’d cleaned up anyway. Just shocked me I guess. I did worry when I didn’t see you, Your Highness, at breakfast.”

“Still kicking,” Calum returns. “Didn’t mean to cause alarm.”

“It’s quite alright. But this seems like a family affair, so I’ll give you all space. Nice meeting you two,” Val states to Tegan and Charlie.

“Nice meeting you too,” they echo.

“Did you eat, Val?” you call out even as she retreats. Her nod comes quickly. “Seriously.”

“I-I did.”

“Sit.” It’s a command. Not one to be ignored either, at least not one Calum would ignore either that’s for sure. Calum watches Val slink back towards the table but not the kitchen island. He takes the opportunity to pull down glasses for Teagan and Charlie. 

“I get that like I took your job once you left. But technically, you can’t boss me around anymore,” Val teases. 

“Yet,” you laugh, “you still sat.”

“You’re terrifying,” she snorts. 

You move with purpose, a dance of stove to fridge to pantry with very few stumbles as you go. It’s a sight Calum’s seen many times but it’s still mesmerizing each time he gets the chance to witness it. The plates clink--Teagan’s two waffles and scrambled eggs. A bowl of oatmeal, topped with blueberries, placed in front of Charlie. Calum knows his plate well before it hits the counter. He takes it but watches you load up another plate too. Without being called, Val shuffles up to collect her plate. Calum’s not going to let you forget about yourself, so he watches carefully as you make another bowl of oatmeal. When your spoon digs in, he finds himself reaching for his own plate. Breakfast passes in relative silence. Just a clink of forks and spoons against plates and bowls. It’s a little awkward, but nothing that doesn’t dissipate with time. 

As Calum gets the last of the dishes into the rack, his phone shakes again from his pocket.  He’s hoping it’s not Miranda. It was still too early even for her to have the statement done and drafted, given that he was partially aware of another meeting between her and some others that was set to occur this morning as well. He had not been needed for such a meeting, but had noticed the invite sitting on his calendar. Yet, Miranda's name is bolded across his screen. Statement is ready. Where are you?

Calum sighs as he works his fingers over the screen. Part of it is fear. He hadn’t been able to talk to you yet but that’s not the conversation to have in front of your siblings. Even he knows that. Could you meet us at the new shed in half an hour? 

“Miranda?” you question. 

He nods. “Yeah.” 

“That was fast.”

He grins, looking up from the screen just as another message loads in. “Why do you think we keep her around?”

“She must never know about my doubt,” you grin around the top of your mug. 

“Secret is safe with me.” Calum glances down back to her response, Half an hour. And though it’s not a lot, Calum knows it’s the affirmative. “She’s going to meet us at the shed in thirty. But,” Calum starts and spins to face Charlie and Teagan who are seated still at the island. “That still gives us plenty of time for the tour.”

The two cheer and work themselves down from their chairs. “Where’s first? Can we see your office too?” Charlie questions. 

It’s a small miracle--that they seem happy and eager to view the castle in the midst of their situation. A saving grace Calum is sure for you more than anything too. “Sure, let’s start on that wing and then work our way down and outside to my mum’s garden. Sound good?”

“Your mom gardens? That’s really cool,” Teagan notes. “I help Mom with her flowers sometimes. But the bugs still freak me out a little.”

“There’s so many legs on some of them. I get it,” Calum offers. “Now, please keep arms and legs inside the ride at all times. There will be a quiz at the end.”

Calum leads the group, Charlie and Teagan in the middle and you bring up the rear. Though Calum can’t show them into the parliament floor-the room that he’s sure they’ve seen most often in their textbooks for all the votes-he does lead them through the halls. Portraits and plaques litter the wall. Perhaps it’s the years Calum’s spent that makes them fade into the background until now. When he points out to his relatives and ancestors and other prominent figure heads, he wonders if he slowed down in these hallways if it would feel the same to him as it does to Charlie and Teagan. 

“Oh, what’s that I hear? The sound of laughter in these halls?” The jovial tone gives it away but Calum looks up from his phone, poised still from snapping the picture of Charlie and Teagan imitating the pose of the stonehead to see his head peering out of his own office door. 

“Hey, Dad. This is Charlie, and Teagan. I’m just showing them around real fast.”

“Hi, Your Royal Majesty,” the two kids echo, all of their laughter sucked up immediately. And Calum gets it--to them this is still the King. 

“Oh, please, I’m David. No need for that title. Makes me feel old. Nice to meet you two. Have heard a lot.”

They turn to you. “You talked to the King about us?” Charlie questions, the shock thick over his words. “I mean like, the King.”

You nod at the question. “David’s Calum’s dad, so yeah, just a little. But I am sure the two of you will remain on your best behavior or else.”

It’s not even a threat you can get out fully before laughing. Calum snickers at it before adding on, “I think the real threat might be my mum. Love you, Dad, but the rosy cheeks are a hard sell in terms of discipline now.”

“Hush,” his dad laughs, as he lands a playful but still firm pat on Calum’s shoulder. “But your mother did have a rather stronger backbone than I did. Not without trying of course.”

“Is Mum in her office by chance? Sorry I haven’t talked more since my messages,” Calum offers. He’d let them both know what was going on and they were both understanding of the situation. 

“In here,” his mum calls out. 

Calum circles around and waves to his mother. She’s perched on the couch, glasses resting on the end of her nose. “Hi, Mum.”

“Are those siblings I hear?”

“Yeah, just showing them around.”

“Well, then,” she laughs before pushing up, “thanks for a heads up. Everyone’s holding up, okay, yeah?”

“Yeah, we are.” It’s a warm hug that she greets Calum with, quick, but still strong. Calum probably wouldn’t even consider the kind of hug if not for the circumstances that had unfolded. But part of him really wants you and your siblings to have the same embrace. Maybe something of a semblance of normalcy in the tumultuous time. 

His mother is gentle as she approaches, wrapping you in a hug first. “So good to see you.”

“Hi, Joy,” you whisper back in the embrace. 

“And your siblings! Hi, Charlie. Hi, Teagan. You two are looking quite well. I haven’t seen a spiderman shirt in so long. Goodness.”

Charlie beams. “He’s one of my favorites, ma’am.”

You slip in close to Calum as Joy laughs. “Perhaps, I should get you one since she hasn’t seen one in a long time.”

He snorts at your verbal jab. It’s the straight face in which you deliver it, like it’s a legitimate consideration. Yet, perhaps for you it could be. “I could match Charlie so it might be nice.” 

“You sap.” The tease is paired by your hand slipping into his. His hold tightens around yours. The touch is familiar but still always electric--a soft assurance that still always manages to send a zap down his spine. As much as Calum wishes he had some sort of rebuttal, he lets himself settle into silence. He is a sap. But you always embrace it. So why would he change that? 

“Do you know where you two are headed next on this tour?” David asks. “There’s quite a bit to see.”

Teagan and Charlie shake their heads. “No clue. Just following Calum’s lead,” Charlie answers. 

“Aye, good, good. Well, I do encourage stopping by the kitchen too. I didn’t tell you this, but I hear there’s perhaps a sweet treat or two in there.”

There’s a gleam, a shine in their eyes at the potential for sweets. You sigh. “After dinner, I promise. But not a second before.”

“Then I guess we shouldn’t wait too long on this tour. I want a treat,” Teagan laughs. 

“I guess that’s our sign,” Calum smiles. 

“Nice meeting you two,” his mother returns, waving as they continue on down and back to a set of stairs. It’ll lead them to the front of the office wing, unlike how they entered. But Calum takes the moment to show off the front lawns, a fountain bubbles on this side in comparison to the residency side where his mother’s garden resides. 

Yet, the closer and closer Calum leads the group to the garden the more he worries about who might’ve been a witness to the events last night. Sure Forest is in the downtown area. It’s rapidly built up and a lot of small businesses are moved into the commercial spaces, which makes it a fun place to spend a Saturday afternoon. One can try out the new coffee shop and spend hours taking laps around the city blocks. The outskirts of the area have roads for cars, but once in the middle of the shopping area, it’s pedestrian traffic only. No cars, but a few cyclists who use the absence of cars as refuge to make their commutes easier. But Sundays are pretty quiet after about four. Though, with the inclusion of a few more bars, it makes sense that perhaps there were some stragglers getting an early start to the Monday blues. 

Though, he may never know. Someone could’ve been passing by and then stopped once they heard the shouting. Or maybe it was some pap who narrowed down where you’d been working and was just waiting for the right moment. It doesn’t make him happy to consider these possibilities. It actively makes his stomach churn at the thought of someone waiting for you, waiting for the right moment to strike. But he can’t ask you to change jobs again. Especially not now. Though maybe he could make some negotiations, make calls for some leverage to keep you and your family safer a bit longer. 

“Oh my god, look at them!” Teagan shouts, pointing to the leaves of some vegetable sprouted from the ground. Calum’s not sure what it is but he watches as you edge nearer to her. “They’re as big as my head!”

“Perhaps, I could plant you as a cabbage,” you tease in return. 

“Good luck with that.”

“Can I go inside?” Charlie asks, pointing to the doors to the renovated shed. The question hangs for a moment and Calum realizes that Charlie is looking in his direction.

“Yeah, of course. Just be careful of the painting,” Calum returns, pulling the key from his pocket. “That’s the one your sibling’s working on for the charity.”

“You got it. Thanks.” 

Calum follows Charlie inside for a few steps, just enough to slick on the small space heater. “Just in case you’re cold, yeah.”

“Teagan, look at this!” Charlie calls out. It’s all she needs before she shuffles past Calum, the materials of her coat swishing as she jogs by. The shed seems to be enough of a distraction for them. 

“How bad is it?” you ask, sliding in next to Calum. The two of you stand a few feet from the shed. It’s still a clear line of sight inside, watching as Charlie and Teagan settle at the bench, laughing amongst themselves. But the distance gives the two of you the illusion of privacy. 

“Bad,” Calum returns. “I wish there was a better way to say it.” He really does. God, what he wouldn’t give to have better news to deliver. Yet he doesn’t have anything other than the truth. “People were saying Diana attacked us and I know, I know that’s so far from the truth. Miranda basically had to confirm our relationship and state that it’s a private family matter and to respect your right to privacy as you handle things. We’re going to do everything we can to make sure Charlie and Teagan don’t get caught up in this.”

“Who else was even in the parking lot though? I know it’s downtown, and that’s a busy area. But I just don’t understand who else would’ve stayed to watch that.”

Calum wishes he had answers to that. He hadn’t seen anyone, but he too was pretty preoccupied by what was unfolding. And all he has are theories, none of which can be thoroughly proven at this point. But that matters less, still their first step is to squash rumors before they worry about who started them. “Could’ve just been a random bystander,” he offers. 

“Could’ve been paparazzi too,” you return with a sigh. 

“But we don’t know that,” Calum counters. Perhaps, if he says it enough it will be the truth. Perhaps, if he says it enough he can still protect you. Not that it’s a failure, not that Calum could keep you out of the public eye forever. It’s hard though to know that your descent into public opinion is this harsh, that it’s this far out of your control or his. If all Calum can do is make the landing softer, he will. 

“Look at the lovebirds,” Miranda calls out. “So, a rather busy morning, but nothing new.” Her approach is tip toed and slow. Calum notices how wet the grass is and knows her heels must be sinking with each step which makes her caution more understandable. 

“We’ll come to you. Stay off the grass. Because I know I’ll hear about your shoes if they get ruined,” Calum laughs. And he would, in all good faith, but she won’t let it go without the occasional jab. Miranda tip toes onto the small rock path and waits, tapping at the screen in her hands. 

“Charlie, Teagan, stay inside for me, yeah? Grab some paper off that back shelf and color if you want. Just don’t touch those paints on the middle shelf please.” It’s a clear directive but you offer it gently, letting them decide for themselves if they’ll take it. 

“Roger!” Charlie hollers back, slipping out to venture towards the shelf. 

The apology burns the tip of Calum’s tongue. He knows it’s not necessarily his fault that this got caught on tape. He knows that it’s not his fault that Dianna decided that drinking was the best choice to make. Calum knows that there’s very little that he could’ve done to stop this. His influence is not that strong or extends that far. Yet, with every step towards Miranda, he battles with himself on if he should say those words. If he should apologize or not; if it would matter at all. 

Miranda flips the tablet over, extending it. “You doing okay?” she asks to you. It’s a genuine question. Even if Miranda is business first and questions later, Calum knows that she can have a gentle touch when needed. 

There’s a shrug before you speak. “I think so. I think once the shock wears off it’ll sink in more.”

“I understand. As a heads up,  I’ve ensured to emphasize that these are family private matters and that respecting your family’s privacy is of the upmost importance. This will spark a broader conversation about you two and the relationship, which ultimately this post will affirm as well. So there is a choice, I want to ask: do you want to proceed with this statement or do you want to stop? Calum opted to make the statement, but I wasn’t able to confirm if you were in the same camp.”

“It feels like a damned if you do, damned if you don’t position we’re in. But can I read first before I decide?”

“Absolutely.”

Your hand hovers, not quite grasping the device but close enough to do it. So Calum takes hold, tapping to keep the screen from going completely dark. He gets it. That if you do read through it it makes the whole thing that much more real. But every little thing  that he can do to help lighten that load just a little, he will do. You slide in a little closer, shoulder centimeters from Calum’s chest as you two read over the screen: In light of the pictures and theories surfacing from a discussion that took place last night, we would like to ask the public to please respect the privacy of everyone involved. While some may be inclined to take these events for entertainment, we urge and ask everyone to please remember that there is a family at the center of these current issues that wish to keep things private. Thank you for your understanding. 

It feels hollow as Calum reads through it. He’d want to say more, how there’s children that also impacted, that you’re impacted, how you didn’t ask for anything of this. But that’s too much and this statement feels like too little. There would never be enough, or a middle ground. This is why Miranda does the important work. It’s why she’s here, because she can get close. But he’s too involved to see the objective here. 

“Anything you want to change?” Calum asks. The seconds have stretched, for far too long and he’s not sure if it’s a bad thing or not. There’s nothing he can think of, but it is about you at the end of it all. 

Your exhale is heavy. “No, no, I don’t think so. I just--I guess it doesn’t really matter. I just want Charlie or Teagan to be safe in all this,” you direct the last piece to Miranda. 

“We’ll do what we can to keep this contained,” Miranda assures. “We’ve got people who will be connecting with some tabloids, ensuring no pictures surface and nothing else comes up.  But we can’t stop them all, unfortunately. The court of public opinion and social media is a wild one, but if we can curb tabloids we can get a strong hold on the issue. The waves may get a little rocky, but we’re still at the helm of this ship. Trust me on that.”

“I trust you. Thanks for this. I’m okay with moving forward.”

Calum hands the tablet back to Miranda. “Thanks, again, Miranda. We appreciate it.”

“Oh, just doing my job. But of course. It’ll be out soon.” Her heels clack over the rocks. Always a woman of business, always waiting for the next shit storm should it come. And in this case, Calum is hoping it never does. His hope may be useless ultimately. But he doesn’t want to let it go just yet. 

The mid-morning remains chilly. Even in the heat of the shed, or Calum’s truck to pick up your car, the weather never truly breaks. It doesn’t stop Calum as he sits in the truck, with the windows cracked. The repairs on the wheel look fine, but he waits, and waits, windows cracked until you let me know you’re okay. When you throw a thumbs up out of the window, Calum responds with the same and the two of you start back onto the road. With grocery already collected, and the looming 2PM deadline, it’s a pretty straight line shot back to the castle. 

The drive helps with the ache. His fingertips buzz, wanting to see what’s happening now. Miranda confirmed that she was able to get up before noon, but had given her standard speech about not looking at the media within the first couple of hours.  It’s going to be loud-the news is always brash and cacophonous the moment news breaks. But Calum wants to be able to tell you it’s better, that the statement’s hardly a drop in the bucket. It most likely won’t be. But the distraction of the road helps, even as his phone buzzes from the cupholder. 

The distraction would help a lot more if the drive didn’t feel so short. By the time he returns to the castle and backs into the spot next to you, Calum’s reaching for his phone. He waves you ahead of him and raises his phone--like it’s something important. And while it is important that Calum does check in on the headlines and the response, it doesn’t have to be right now. 

I didn’t think they were dating that seriously. Hope everything’s okay. 

Who the hell is that?

I mean it was pretty obvious they were together. But who is that woman? She looks crazy as hell

Calum swipes from the responses directly under the post. A stupid idea. All the chatter will be people's way too invested in looking for entertainment and dramatizing the things that happen to others. Perhaps waiting for more of an uproar would’ve been smart too. But choices have been made now. Taking down the statement would only serve to make more of an uproar than anything as well. It was a lose-lose, but there’s still a biting sting at the reality. There’s truly no winning, just options with the least amount of damage. 

There’s little news yet in terms of headlines. A few that sprung up and perhaps, people are waiting for closer to the afternoon news cycle to make their stances. Prince Calum and his partner cornered, reads one tabloid. Not as salacious as Calum thought but he clicks onto the webpage. All it does is divulge that a bystander happened upon the altercation and then concludes with the statement embedded into the article about asking for privacy. But as Calum re-reads the piece a bit of a closer look, he notices a couple of sentences. There’s indication based on the royal family’s response that the person who approached is family. But those who overheard the conversation note that the instigator didn’t appear sober. 

It’s the final nail in the coffin--a sharp strike of metal on metal that echoes in Calum’s brain as he reads the line over and over. But those who overheard the conversation note that the instigator didn’t appear sober. Should your parents still be in a government program for assistance or should a conversation ever come up about  Charlie and Teagan remaining in the care of your mother, this piece of media alone would be her undoing. Calum’s not sure if it would hurt Melvin as well, but considering that they are still married, it might. His first instinct is to send the link to Miranda, see if she can do anything to bury it as deep into the void of news. But would he be overstepping?

“I know I asked this before, and please don’t send me for a beheading, but are you sure you’re okay? You’re a lot quieter than usual.”

Your question is soft, but Calum hears it as hands tug and smooth at his suit adorned on his body. Calum watches your eyes in the reflection of the mirror. The rest of the afternoon passed in a relative blur. He’d kept you and your siblings company, continuing on the drawings from the morning and a couple of movies sprinkled in to kill the dead air. But the haze of the article is heavy for Calum, like he can’t shake the weight of it off him. Behind you Teagan and Charlie are ogling over the accessories, pointing at rings that your stylist has displayed out. But you stand clear in his vision. Didn’t appear sober, the black text feels burned into his retinas. It’s a film over everything he sees, like a tattoo that he cannot erase. 

“I’m worried about you is all.” It’s easy to say that. “But I’m okay.” The qualification--he feels obligated to give it. Like if he doesn’t, it’ll raise more suspicions. He doesn’t want you to worry more than you already have to. Calum wants to take things off your plate, not add them on. He’s hoping that there’s no other articles that mention the same thing. He’s hoping it goes away on its own. 

“I think not being worried would be a worse sign.” It’s a single sentence, complete with a kiss to his cheek. Before he can say more, reassure you that it’s not your job to carry such a burden given the immediate life hurdle you’ve been thrown into the midst of, your name is called out. 

You carry on to the stylist and Calum swears each click of the  shoes you have over the floors echoes, didn’t appear sober. The burn comes back in his fingertips, if it hadn’t been for the need to leave his phone aside, he’s sure he’d crack. He’d message Miranda and tell her to bury it--however she needs to. And the more his fingers ache to send that link, the more he feels the words pressing at the back of his tongue. They are all but begging for him to let them out. 

“How’s the arm length? Good?” Jacky, his own personal stylist, asks. The question is enough to bring Calum back to his own reality. The thing he’s supposed to be focused on. 

Calum raises his arms a little and the pits of the suit jacket raise but don’t cut up into him. “They’re good,” he answers. They’re always good too. His measurements haven’t changed much in a few months now. So it should be relatively standardized now. 

“I don’t think that’s a good piece. Too chunky up there,” Teagan laughs. Calum watches as she gazes back down to the jewelry. 

You hand the necklace back over to Orion, your stylist, and nod. “I agree. I think maybe only one necklace though. So I need you both to agree on it.”

Orion’s smile seems genuine as she too watches your sibling talk in detail about each piece. “I think I might be out of a job with you two around,” she jokes. 

It’s almost like nothing is happening. Like the altercation and the subsequent change in their stay hasn’t happened. Perhaps, for the tiniest moments, you three do feel like nothing’s changing. Sure, they’re not at home. But they know they’ll still be back at school this week. They know that they’ll still have homework to do. You’ll still have a job to go to. Nothing’s changed about those, but just behind the veil, is the truth. Much like Calum worries about what the changes will mean for Charlie and Teagan once they return home, you three worry too. Maybe even more than he does, or he can fathom. 

“You’re all set, Your Highness. What do you think? Any changes you’d like to make?” Another question Jacky has to ask--has to reel Calum back in. 

Calum looks back at himself. The suit is black, but the handkerchief matches the color of your suits--a deep maroon color with gold accents. The black dress shirt beneath fits well around his neck and though he imagines he may not wear it as button up as it’s been done today, it still looks sleek. 

“I think you’ve outdone yourself again,” he smiles. It feels a little stiff, like it hasn’t quite reached his eyes, but the words are genuine. The suit is well fitted. There are a few studded details along the collar of the suit jacket that elevate the look too, he notices now as he takes in the sight a bit more. He does like the attire. It does fit nicely. But in the reflection, there’s you. His attention can never settle on the task at hand. Because there’s you and there’s the way Charlie snaps a bracelet around your wrist and inspects it. But around it, is a cloud, like the reality is waiting to fall onto your backs. The fitting just feels secondary, like he’s going through the motions because he knows it has to be done. But what he cares about is that stupid article and how much it’s going to impact your family. 

“A lot on your mind? Normally, you’ve got a thousand ideas.” 

“I guess I don’t really care how I look when there’s bigger issues going on, you know? Feels a little trivial for me to care.”

Jacky nods, taking the suit jacket by the collar to help him out of it. “Understandable. Well, if you’ve got no notes, I can hand you back over. If you think of anything you need, and I mean anything, just let me know, okay?”

“Thanks, I will.”  It’s a statement that Calum feels really should be directed more at you, but he understands Jacky’s intent. 

By the time Calum changes back into his sweatshirt and jeans, you’re still being doted on. Charlie and Teagan round and round the display of jewelry. They follow each other it seems and though there are a good number of choices, there’s certainly a bit of entertainment in the ordeal. As they playfully bicker about the choices the other makes. You’re a voice of reason to remind them, they don’t have all afternoon to play around with this, but there’s a small smile as you say it. That cloud feels heavier and heavier as Calum waits at your side. 

Your selections are finalized and you step back to change. He feels useless watching as you step behind your privacy screen. He feels useless as Charlie and Teagan stand next to him and ask him about his own suit, if he’s pleased with how it turned out. He feels useless because if he’d just gotten to you on time then maybe he could’ve saved you and your siblings from this fallout. But he’d been lazy on getting gas the night before. If he had just gotten there on time, perhaps the sight of him would’ve made Diana think twice.

If only he hadn’t been so fucking lazy about getting gas the night before. 

If only Diana hadn’t been drinking. 

If only…

If only…

“I’m sorry,” Calum starts, after getting both Charlie and Teagan settled down into the library. 

You met Melvin to grab their makeup work and Calum promised he’d not burn down the kitchen to handle their dinosaur shaped nuggets and frozen veggies. It wasn’t fancy, but it was what they wanted for dinner. It’s the kind of request that couldn’t be denied. Though both you and Calum wanted something more for dinner, Charlie and Teagan were adamant that the nuggets would be enough. But now, after all t-rex’s have been consumed, you asked that they at least do the work they missed today, which has wounded the four of you into the library. Charlie and Teagan are settled at the long desk, pencils scratching over their worksheets as they go. You and him sit on the couch, huddled between two bookcases in the back of the room, but just over the stacks you can still see Charlie and Teagaon work. In the silence, Calum can’t help but apologize. 

You turn from the plate of the leftover nuggets, which you and Calum are sharing for the time being. “You don’t have to apologize,” you offer softly. Though there is distance between you and the kids, both of you are trying to be quiet and gentle in the conversation. The crumbs make a soft click as they fall onto the plastic plate as you rub them off your fingers. 

“I shouldn’t have been late. If I wasn’t late, maybe Diana wouldn’t have confronted you.” The what if’s have been a marathon behind his eyes. What would it look like if he’d gotten to you earlier. What if he’d waited to tell Miranda to make a statement? What if there wasn’t an article that could undo everything for Charlie and Teagan?

“If you were on time, do you think that would’ve stopped her from showing up drunk?” 

“Well, I know I can’t control what she did. But I just wish I’d gotten last yesterday like I told myself to.” His phone burns in his pocket. Because while he is apologizing for his tardiness, he’s got so much more that he’s going to drop. 

“It’s all okay.” You pair the sentiment with a kiss to his cheek, offering up the plate with nuggets to him. 

He collects one, thinks for a moment it could be a triceratops, and then pops it whole into his mouth. His hands are fumbling before he can stop it. Maybe it’s best this way, when his mouth is full and he can’t apologize again. You take the phone, eyes darting over the article. And all he can do is watch. 

“Is this what caused your quiet mood at the fitting?” you ask, looking up from the screen now. 

Calum nods before swallowing. “Didn’t know how you’d react and I didn’t want to make things worse.”

“It’s her funeral,” you return. “She made the choices.”

But even as you say it, Calum watches the way you watch your siblings. As easy as it is to admit that it’s her own actions and her own fault, the both of you know that the consequences of such actions will never just affect her alone. 

“Do you want me to do anything about this? I can talk to Miranda about it,” Calum offers. 

“No,” you return. But you don’t look at him. “I don’t think I can ask that much of you.”

“Well, it’s a good thing I offered.”

You snort, and tap his chest with your knuckles. It has hardly enough force behind it to call it a hit. “Besides, you’ve done enough. Thank you. For checking. For helping. It means a lot.”

“I’d do it a thousand times over,” he answers, pressing a kiss to your temple. Because it’s true. Because he wishes so desperately he could do more. He wishes you’d said yes. He wishes you’d taken up his offer. “I love you,” he whispers against your skin. 

“I love you,” you whisper in return.