#tbh i don’t like my double chin though

[tunaricebowl]

finally got my pics back from the lil shoot i did at the japanese gardens earlier this month c: i honestly didnt know what other pose to do but other than that i think these look super cool! it’s my very first cosplay as well so i’m still figuring out how to be photographed and stuff

[housecow]

you won’t show your face which I respect! Though I’m curious how do you feel about your face gains?

my face has definitely gotten rounder, but i don’t have as much of a double chin as i thought i would tbh?? i’ve always had “chubby cheeks” and that’s definitely still true 😭 but like. i could pretend to be skinny if i only showed face pics haha

then again, i am biased and have never been skinny so literally who knows what i’d look like if i was 150lbs lighter 🤷‍♀️

[josiebelladonna]

exact same shirt, two years apart.

(full story under the cut; 18+ please)

i weighed 225 in april 2020, up from 205 in december 2019 (no clue how that happened as life for me barely changed when the lockdowns started); i’m at 266 now, and i gained all this weight in 2021 and a little bit this year, believe it or not. i actually lost weight in quarantine, about 13 pounds: wasn’t eating much and things going on in my social life in the summer of quarantine contributed to the losses. tried getting it back over the winter, and more so when alex entered the picture. then my stepdad passed in april 2021 and all of a sudden, there was a lot more food in the house. i gained 25 pounds last summer, going from 221 to 246, followed by another five over the winter and then 15 spread out over the course of this year.

i don’t mind it: if anything, it feels good. healthy, even. my pants fit better (those old ones in the top pic fell down at every chance: they give me the biggest muffin top now 😅), everything is fuller and rounder, and i can eat a lot more—i feel stronger, too. i was always curious about the world beyond 220 pounds—from 2015 when i hit 200, to 2021 when my stepdad passed, i bounced around that range and i was curious about the 230s. now i’m actually looking at 270. 270 pounds, i should be gigantic (and my mom is planning on making gingerbread cookies and sugar cookies pretty soon here, too. gingerbread, with sugar, there’s also a few chocolate chip cookies and some oreos in the cupboard, and persimmon cookies atop the fridge. and she wants to make bread pudding at some point. and there’s apple pie in the fridge. and there’s chocolate on the coffee table before me. when i said “fuck diet culture”, i meant it.)

actually i kinda am gigantic now. i’m big.

just for reference, this was me in december 2019

and this is me just now

my bras are tighter now, too. i had difficulty keeping them on my shoulders in 2019/2020: they keep everything in place now, like they actually fit.

i felt emaciated back then, too. my stepdad, with all his problems, often snuck food when no one was looking, and objected to my mom and me treating ourselves. i couldn’t eat much—and you gotta eat. you gotta nourish yourself. he passed and suddenly, i could eat to my heart’s content, all the healthy food and all the sweet stuff. 

my body widened out, i now have a definite double under my chin, and i have a potbelly now, and it’s kinda sexy, tbh. i feel really healthy: everything is where it should be and i haven’t had a cold or anything since 2019, interestingly enough. i do have a little snoring problem, but that’s about it, though. i’m not in pain and i’m not “aching” for anything. i was thin before the world came crashing down, but i wasn’t having a good time, though. i love to eat. i love sweet, fattening food. i love vegan food. i love meat and pasta and cheese. i love so-called guilty pleasures. i love mexican food, indian food, chinese food, japanese food, vietnamese food, filipino food, french food, german food, italian food, what the baltic countries do this time of year and just gorge until new year’s… i want to “eat across” a city some day. i love to eat, and i love to eat a lot.

i wish i got chubby as a teenager, if i’m honest. my story would have been so much different (just imagine: a fat field hockey player rather than a gaunt anorexic one, i probably would’ve stuck it out much longer). and i wish i could tell 13-year-old me that it’s really not at all bad because your body actually needs to be fed and that your thoughts are lying to you and the whole world is lying to you, actually, and you can feel good by eating whatever the hell you want, and come with me in unpacking diet culture and all the bullshit that makes women (and men) destroy their bodies all for the sake of chasing ideals which are pointless anyway because to change is to live and be human.

i remember being 19 on a camping trip to the oregon coast over thanksgiving 2012 and the backstory is it was a potluck dinner, and i brought a grasshopper pie because i’m actually from 1960. and no one touched it (one of the boys brought a pecan pie and that was more welcomed) and there was no room in the miniature fridge in our yurt. so, i ate this whole pie aside from two pieces missing. solo. on top of two helpings of thanksgiving dinner. three quarters of this creamy mousse pie made with crème de la menthe, marshmallow, and a chocolate crust. and this was well before i got heavy, too, this was back when i still weighed around 150 pounds, and before i dropped down to 139, too. i often think about that pie, too, how it made my then-slim belly swell up and it felt so right, and if i can do it now. i think that was the moment of clarity for me, in hindsight: the moment i thought, “i don’t want to torment myself anymore.” a fleeting thought, but i do remember thinking it.

in fact, i actually have a pretty distinct memory of being five or six years old and wishing i could eat everything and become fat, like i muttered it to myself when no one was paying attention (i looked at my naked body when no one was looking and i wished to be fat when no one was looking, the belly kink makes a lot more sense now, doesn’t it? 😜). i have no clue what happened to it, but my aunt used to have this old black and white photograph of me wearing denim jeans and cowgirl boots, and i had no shirt on, and i was pushing my belly out as far as i could go.

i wasn’t healthy thin, either. got sick a lot and nevermind b.m.i., it’s ableist and eugenicist and serves no one. you want to go with waist to hip ratio (those measurements divided by each other; you want under 0.80 to be considered healthy. and guess what? mine at the moment is 0.74, which is perfect. yes, even with my belly, i still pull off the numbers).

so, i have literally genuinely felt this desire to be a heavyweight my whole life: 5 year old me wanted a fat belly, 13 year old me wanted to look good, and 19 year old me wanted to feel good. it’s part of my truth. it’s just one part of who i am, and i’m finally just comfortable enough to talk about it.

so, as i write this, yes, i don’t feel negative about it (if anything… you want the truth? i don’t feel fat enough. it’s not like i’m lazy or sedentary, anyway: i’m gonna eat a big slice of apple pie with ice cream and whipped cream right now and then all my mom’s cookies, and everyone obsessed with dieting—and covering up—can die mad about it).

the last time i posted pix of myself, a bunch of people unfollowed me and blocked me. their loss, i say, especially when you see these:

(that faith no more shirt has been through so much: of course i love wearing it now)

another kind of interesting thing about gaining all this weight? i feel more tomboyish than ever. i’ll go through the fat-related tags on here sometimes and i’ll look at fat women, and they’re all very feminine. whatever rings true for you, absolutely (the one dress i have, i tried it on and from the side, i looked pregnant with my well-fed belly 🤷🏻‍♀️) but i think it’s interesting that there aren’t a lot of “sportier” girls such as myself. i want to keep wearing shirts and sexy camisoles and skinny jeans and flared jeans that accentuate my legs and my hips.

yeah, man. this is all me.

all 266 pounds 😈🥵😘

[yokohamabeans]

It’s been a minute, guys! I can’t even begin to describe how immensely sorry I am for posting the fic-writing ask game and taking THIS LONG to answer them... The cheek of me, an absolute clown!!

Huge, big thank you to my lovely moots (@obsidieneyes , @shions-chin-scar , @highviews , @penrose-quinn) and the anon who sent in the asks!! As I’ll be answering every single question on the list, I thought I’d just consolidate all of the asks in this post. Here goes! 

1. Do you daydream a lot before you write, or go for it as soon as the ideas strike?

The former! Usually I get an idea, then daydream about it to flesh it out a lot before actually writing it down, so I can put out a whole scene and have a smoother flow. Actually, even writing the lines themselves take a lot of daydreaming; I often have to rethink, write, reread and rewrite everything I have typed out... It’s way too time-consuming tbh...

If you’re asking about specific ideas / scenes, I usually read or watch a bunch of related media (e.g. for ROAC, it’s a ton of crime shows and documentaries) and try to get inspired by them!

2. Where do you get your fic ideas?

Kinda cliched, but everywhere, I think. Sometimes I’ll see something on the street and try to ‘put into words’ what I’m feeling about it, then see if I can channel that into writing. This is mostly cuz I think characters are also humans with a myriad of fleeting thoughts, so if I can just highlight some random thought they have in my fic, I think it may flesh them out a lot more.

3. Do you share your fic ideas, or do you keep them to yourself?

I keep them to myself (excluding the drafts and snippets I post here). I kinda lead a double life, noone in IRL knows I write fanfic hahaha

4. How do you choose which fics to write?

Tbh, it’s all about which stan I’m obsessed enough to write about first, then all about how much ‘potential’ the story ideas I have for a full-fledged work! (i.e. can the plot go anywhere, do I have enough themes and motifs to sustain the whole fic etc.)

6. What’s the last line you wrote?

"Lighten up, will you?" drawls Ran from the seat beside. His smile is bright in contrast to the brewing storm. "It's sacrilege to walk into a hostess club with a glum face."

"We're walking into business," Kakuchō retorts, narrowing his eyes at the glass of whiskey in Ran's hand. "You can be a little less relaxed about this."

5. How many wips do you have?  What fandoms/pairings are they for?

I guess 2? They’re ROAC (TokRev, Kakucho/OC) and Liar, Liar (KnB, AkashiOCKise), though I don’t think Liar, Liar has been in ‘progress’ as of late.... It’s taking a long hiatus but I swear I have plans to finish it!

7. Post a snippet from a wip.

Well, that much you must agree with Mama. Utsu and Yū and the women of Murasaki aren’t supposed to exist in the real world. But with the lion’s share of your salary going to her and the Mara-kai, you needed a second job, and a girl clutching only a high-school diploma didn’t have many options. Service jobs like store-keeping or waitressing were out of the question—you will never have the strength to deal with human beings all day and all night.

8. Post an out-of-context spoiler from a wip.

You roll your eyes at Pierre. This old fogey must be out of his depth if he thinks he's worth that much. Still, you agree just so you can hang up quickly. The bartenders at Murasaki will know how to swap it with something cheap. 

9. Does this word [chosen by asker] appear in your current wip?

Hmmm, there wasn’t a specific word chosen so Imma skip this question, I think I’ve posted enough snippets for now! 🤪

10. Do you work on multiple wips or stick to one fic at a time?

Stick to one.... I used to be able to write two fics at the same time, but because I hyperfixate, my attention usually goes entirely into a single story/character at a time.

11. Do you write scenes in order, or do you jump around?

I write them in order always, so I can keep the flow and make sure I don’t repeat words/phrases! Sometimes, I get the inspiration for a future scene and just pen it out somewhere for release and future use, though!

12. Do you outline your fics?  If yes, how detailed are your outlines?  How far do you stray from them?

Oh yes! Pretty detailed, in my opinion, for scenes I have very clear ideas about (e.g. bullet point story boards). I usually stray from them when actually writing them though, but I still keep the essence nonetheless.

13. Do you listen to music while you write?  If yes, what have you been listening to recently?

No, I’m the kind of person who needs total silence to work / study / write...

14. What is your favorite location and position to write in?

I wouldn’t call it favourite, but more of ‘I have no choice to’: It’s on the train during my commute hahaha

15. What’s your favorite time to write?

Whenever I am free these days.... (i.e. daily commute....) 🥹

16. Do you write by hand, on your phone, or on your laptop?

Mostly on my phone (via GDocs) these days!

17. Do you have a writing routine?

Not at all, but I suppose writing while commuting is kind of a routine since it happens at a fixed time almost every day?

18. Do you enjoy research?  Which fic of yours required the most research?

YES!!! Well, I’m pretty much only writing ROAC but yes it required A LOT of research for the yakuza / hostess / Japan underworld setting! I also researched tons about the Japanese mythology/folklore, Buddhism and Journey to the West so I can weave metaphors / allusions into my writing. Well, needless to say, I also look through the TokRev Manga and its related official media so I can get the timelines / characters right too.

19. Do you enjoy creating OCs or do you prefer to stick solely to canon characters?

Let’s put it this way..... all but one of my fics are OC fics 🥸

20. Do you prefer writing AUs or canon fics?

Both actually, but because I write OC fics, they are kinda AU? But I always make sure I follow canon as much as possible!

21. Do you prefer writing chaptered fics or one-shots?

Chaptered fics! In case you can’t tell, I’m long-winded af... I got lots to say.... 🧑‍🦳

22. Do you title your fics before, during, or after the writing process?  How do you come up with titles?

All three! Sometimes, I get inspired or really like a quote and decide to make it the title (aka titling before writing), or I write the story/chapter and base the title off it (aka titling during/after writing). 

23. Is writing the beginning, middle, or end of the story easiest? Hardest?

For me, the beginning is the easiest because I’m fresh with lots of solid ideas. Hardest will be the middle, cuz I usually already have an ending in mind. It’s just how to get there!

24. How do you choose whose POV to write in?

Tbh, it’s more like whatever I feel like hahaha. I used to write in 3rd POV cuz that’s what I’m most comfortable with, but recently the 2nd POV is fun too!

25. What’s your favorite part of the writing process (worldbuilding, brainstorming/outlining, writing, editing, etc)?

Hands down: brainstorming/outlining. Editing comes a close second cuz that usually means I already have things down and done.

26. What’s your least favorite part of the writing process?

Writing is the most torturous. But also the most fulfilling, I guess!

27. What area of writing do you feel strongest in?

I actually feel really confident about dialogue. It’s the easiest and most fun, IMO, cuz it’s easy to put into words what people will say off the top of their head. Dialogue can also reveal a lot of a character too. 

28. What area of writing do you want to improve in?

Exposition. Especially because ROAC has a lot of worldbuilding, I struggle really hard to explain the settings / things cuz I don’t wanna make it dull and flat, and yet using too many metaphors will make it unnecessarily flowery. I really wanna be able to explain things in an engaging way!!

29. What’s something about your writing that you’re proud of?

Hmmm.... Characterization I suppose! 

30. How much do you edit your fics?  Do you edit as you write or wait until you finish the first draft?

I edit them as soon as I write. Every single line is a product of overthinking... Which is why I’m so slow....

31. Do you use a beta reader/editor?

Nope! I personally like to be ‘responsible’ for my own fics, so it’s all me babeh!!

32. Do you take fic requests?  Why or why not?

I’m sorry to say that I don’t... I’m struggling to write my own fics as it is....

33. Is there a specific word count that you hold yourself to/enjoy writing the most?

In the past I keep it at about 3~4k per chapter. Nowadays (for ROAC) it’s about 4~5k per chapter, though I think I’ve been exceeding it hehe.

34. How much of your personal life/experience do you include in your fics?

Not a lot, but I suppose I sometimes weave in my own thoughts / perspectives!

35. What’s your favorite fic you’ve posted?

Within my very limited number of fics.... ROAC? I think the prose for it is the best I’ve written so far (though the bar wasn’t that high to start with hahahahaha).

I recently re-read (the re-written) Liar, Liar, and have to say I also really like my prose in that too!

36. What fic are you proudest of?

ROAC, again haha! Specifically, I’m really chuffed with how Chapters 1 and 4 turned out. 

37. What fic has been the hardest for you to write?

Incidentally, ROAC Chapter 5...... Half of it is Kakucho’s POV and about Bonten / Mara-kai gang things, which is hard for me to write about cuz I (fortunately) personally have no experience in crime, so I have to research a lot! It’s also really hard to write from the perspective of adult Bonten in some ways, cuz they’re likely quite different from their teen selves in the manga.

36. What is your most self-indulgent posted story?

Every single OC fic I post has been nothing but self-indulgence......

38. What’s your most self-indulgent wip?

Um, ROAC? (I’m sorry to repeat my answers.... ROAC is all I have 🥹)

39. What is your favorite world that you’ve created for a fic?

Long ago I took on a Tobirama fic set in Yoshiwara (or the Naruto world version of it) and I really loved the whole world built around it! The theme of Edo period Japan has always been something I loved. It’s not published (or written, really) though. Tbh, if I ever finish ROAC and Liar, Liar, I’d like to go back to it....

40. Who’s your favorite character you’ve written?

Kise was really fun to write in Liar, Liar. Ran too actually! 

In terms of OCs, Yua and Mama are really interesting to write. Saeri (from Liar, Liar) was hilarious and breezy to write too ‘cuz the fic was really light-hearted and ‘slice of life’ish!

41. What’s your favorite title that you’ve come up with?

I’ve already taken it down, but Past Tense Events (my Rindou/Reader fic) was a really cool title I think! It was inspired by a poem I read somewhere, but I can’t remember which it is now...

42. Is there a trope or idea that you’d really like to write but haven’t yet?

I’m not someone with self-restraint, so I think I’ve pretty much gotten everything I wanted to write down in a doc draft/outline somewhere!  

43. What is your favorite genre to write?

Romance cuz I’m a sap hahahaha! Well, the dark crime genre tone of ROAC is fun too so far! 

44. What genre/trope do you tend to write the most?

Romance, or Rom-Com, based on my old fics.

45. If you could only write one type of AU for the rest of your life, what would it be?

Fantasy ancient/feudal Japan AUs!!! I love Japanese myths!!

46. Is there a trope that you’ve written before but are now sick of?

I think I drenched Liar, Liar in second-hand embarrassment a lot in the rom-com meet-cute way in my first iteration of it. It was really fun back then but thinking back, it was way too much hahaha

47. Who is your favorite character to write for?  Has this changed since you’ve started writing for that fandom?

Hmm Kakucho, I think? I think it kinda changed in the sense that I got even deeper into his character than I intended to (for example, ROAC was meant to be a Reader/OC fic but I ended up going into the direction of a character study). The thing about Kakucho is that we get just enough information from the manga about him to form a definite idea of what he’s like, but not enough to dictate it, so we can exercise some imagination and creativity too. This is what I think, at least!

48. What fic of yours would you say is the best introduction to you as a writer? 

I want to say ROAC but I think I’m a rom-com kind of writer by nature, so maybe Liar, Liar?  

 My favourite and proudest work is still ROAC though!

49. How would you describe your writing style?

THIS IS A REALLY HARD QUESTION!!!! 

I genuinely have no idea. But when I write, I want my lines to ‘mean more than they let on’? I like to use metaphors and similes, and when writing in the POV of characters (especially Yua) I hope to have some edge to it too. I’m sorry y’all, I have no idea how to describe my writing style...

50. Does what you like to write differ from what you like to read?

Not at all hahaha my interests in reading and writing are aligned! When I write, I like to look for inspiration too so I often read works in the same genre for it!

51. What’s the average word count of your fics?

Based on my 2 works on AO3, it’s about ~4.5k per chapter!

52. What is the most-used tag on your ao3?

“Original Characters” and “Slow Burn”

...pretty accruate picture of my fics, tbh!

53. What’s the fandom/pairing distribution of your posted fics?

...............They’re all Canon/OC fics.................

54. Have you noticed any patterns in your fics?  Words/expressions that appear a lot, themes, common settings, etc?

I like this question! I think I often write the theme of ‘fate’ and ‘destiny’. The idea of fated lovers / soulmates is so cliched but romantic to me.... Recently, I notice I use a lot of ‘conversation filler’ words or phrases in ROAC, like ‘well, xxxx’ or ‘come to think of it’ or stuff like that. I think I’ve been influenced by Japanese writers cuz I noticed they like include those in their narratives too (or at least, the English translations of them).

55. Are there any fics that you would change or rewrite if given the chance?

I already rewrote Liar, Liar, which was something I’ve wanted to do for a long time. 

If I ever have the time or energy, I wanna rewrite Past Tense Events!

56. How conscious are you about including symbolism or foreshadowing in your fics?

VERY CONSCIOUS!!!!!! And I’m over the moon whenever my incredibly perceptive and clever friend, Obsidian (@obsidianmooneyes) picks up on them hehehe

57. Do you have a favorite piece of figurative language you’ve written?

Tbh I’m not too sure what this question means, but I guess I’ll just post a piece of my writing that I like and has figurative language!

You remember his eyes when you held his face—wide and strained for what you might do next. (Even you were in fear of what you might’ve done.) They swallowed you in like gravity, consumed you whole and made you wonder: what if, in that instance, you were to let yourself fall? To crash on his lips like an asteroid upon Earth, and obliterate the world around you? Would it be so disastrous?

58. Have you participated in any fic events/writing challenges?  If yes, what were they and did you enjoy them?

No, unfortunately.... 100% because of my lack of time, and also I can never meet a writing deadline....

59. In ROAC, what inspired the idea for the plot?

It’s all in the title, my friend! The OG folklore, Requital of a Crane! (Tsuru no Ongaeshi)

60. In ROAC, what’s your favorite scene that you wrote?

Hmmmm.... The favourite scene I think is still in the works and not published yet, but among what’s already out, I think it is the mahjong scene in Chapter 4!

61. In ROAC, is there a deleted scene/idea you wish you could have included?  Why did it get cut?

YES! In the yet-to-be-published Chapter 5, I have an entire scene of Yua interacting with Mitsuya. (Yua buys her dresses for the club from him, and is also a deliverywoman for his supplies and materials, so they have a friendly client type of relationship.) I wrote the whole scene out but deleted it because it was taking too much space and time away from the real plot... Though, thinking back, maybe I should’ve included it simply becaue Mitsuya is really cool (lmao), and I think there was some characterization of Yua in it. (I may or may not include it in future chapters, or at least give it a mention, though!)

62. What was the hardest part of writing ROAC?

Getting into the perspective of criminal Bonten. The underworld is something very real and complex, so I don’t wanna write Bonten and Mara-kai as a ‘movie-ish’ kind criminal organization. Bonten’s mindset and way of thinking will thus be very mature, dark and different from mine, so I think it’s hard to get or write about them in a ‘realistic’ way, if you get what I mean. 

63. If you rewrote ROAC now, would you change anything?

Hmmm... Not really tbh, I think I’m pretty satisfied with how things are going in it so far. Though of course, if I read it again in like 5 years I will probably have many things I wanna change about it.

I also have plans to write other spin-offs too, about Yua in other timelines! 

64. If you wrote a sequel to ROAC, what would happen in it?

As it happens I DO want to write a sequel to ROAC. Especially with the new happy ending in TR! The sequel will probably be something short about Yua and Kakucho / Ran / Tenjiku’s relationship in that timeline. 

65. What’s a fun fact about ROAC?

In my early drafts, Yua’s supposed to have a younger sister that she revolves her whole life around. She was supposed to be in debt just to take care of her after their parents died. Then I decided to scrap it because it’s kinda cliched, and I wanted Yua to be more ‘alone’ and relate more to Kakucho haha. I don’t regret this decision though!

66. If a fic was titled [insert made up title], what would this story be about/how would you write it?

No particular requests for this question, so Imma skip this!

67. Are there any fics that influenced you to write the way you do?

OH many...... Abalone on the Shore by unolvrs and WHITE NOISE by 1keshi got me into writing in 2nd POV. Blackkat (on AO3)’s prose is also an absolute inspiration!

68. What are your favorite fics at the moment?

GREEN LIGHT by PENROSE-QUINN!!!

INTOXICATING BEAUTY by OBSIDIANMOONSTONES!!!

KILL THE DIRECTOR SERIES by HIGHVIEWS!!!

All super gorgeous writing!! Anyone who’s been on my blog knows how much I love them! Obsidian tears your heart out but Kadie (highviews) will salve it with her adorable rom-com romps. Then, you lull yourself to sleep with the familiar comfort of Pen’s fic!!

69. Are you subscribed to any writers on AO3?

Hell yeah!! I don’t know if I clicked the ‘subscribe’ button but I defintiely check the profiles of the writers I’ve mentioned in this post a lot! (unolvrs, 1keshi, penrose_quinn, ObsidianMoonstones, highviews, phen0l/maokitty, blackkat)

(I’ve also been creepily lurking around phen0l‘s writing..... exquisite.... especially this Dabi fic: Higher than the Mountains, Deeper than the Sea TRULY PHENOMENAL)

Special mention goes to razbliuto for her cleverly, unique writing in the One Piece fandom!! Sophie (from Methyl Nitrate Pineapples) is absolutely ICONIC as an OC!!!

70. Do you spend more time reading or writing?

Tbh, discounting articles I have to read for work/school, I have to say writing... and even so it is minimal.... I haven’t really had the time to read recently....!!

71. What’s your favorite writing compliment you’ve gotten?

Every compliment I get is my fave, I’m serious!!! But special mention goes out to Obsidian’s super detailed analysis of ROAC on AO3..... To have your work so thoroughly understood by another is an indescribable feeling..... 

72. What do you tend to get complimented on the most about your writing?

Based on the comments so far, I would say the intricacy or details in my fic! Which I’m eternally grateful for because I have to say I worked hard on all the research!!! 

73. Do you have a fic you wish got a bit more love?

Hmm.... Liar, Liar I suppose? (since it’s just the other one of my fics atm, and I really liked how it turned out) But it’s on hiatus so maybe not....

74. Is there a particular fic that readers gravitated towards that you didn’t expect?

I don’t consider it a fic, but the headcanon posts I’ve made about Tenjiku blew up quite a bit more than I was expecting! 

75. How do you deal with writing pressure, whether internal or external?

Thankfully all of my moots and readers have been sublimely kind and understanding about how busy I am IRL, so I don’t get a lot of ‘external’ pressure! As for internal, I think I just try to chip at my works (but clearly to no progress so far)

76. Why do you enjoy writing fanfiction?

Two words: SELF INDULGENCE!!! Also because I get to imagine a totally ‘new’ perspective through my OC, and explore things and themes I don’t in real life! 

77. What motivates you during the writing process?

Wanting to push my ideas out to the world I think! And I’ll come off as a sap for this, but comments from readers too haha!

78. Do you have any writing advice you want to share?

I still don’t think I’m the best person to give writing advice, but I think this holds true a lot: WRITE WHAT YOU WANT!! And most importantly, write for yourself. If you’re writing for ‘exposure’ or likes / views, it’ll be easy to get discouraged if you don’t get the reception you were hoping for (I’ve been down that path). But if you’re just writing whatever the hell you want, then you’re gonna be satisfied no matter what comes out most of the time, IMO!

80. Free space - asker can come up with any writing or fic-related question they want!

Hmmm no specific question for this either, but I’ll just drop a small tidbit about ROAC! There will be an entire chapter devoted to Ran’s POV, late in the fic hehe! (Tbh, I may even write a spin-off sequel set in a timeline where Kakucho didn’t survive and it’s just Ran and Yua)

NGL this took quite a bit out of me, but it also made me reflect and think about my writing a lot so I enjoyed every second of it!! Again, really sorry that it took my almost half a year to answer these....I wish you all nothing but the best for 2023!

[shatterthefragments]

.fuck

Is it. Worth it? Re: birthday cake

“You should probably cut down on this kind of sweet though”

As if I don’t think about this enough.

As if it’s not sitting heavy on my tongue begging me to throw up. (I don’t. Actually purge. Just the urge is there. The gag reflex is working when it really doesn’t need to. I gag/retch all the time bc I’m sensitive but I don’t really throw up so much anymore unless I’m very ill.)

“Oh I was thinking about making sweet and sour ribs but it uses two tablespoons or so of sugar” [for apparently 3lbs of ribs. Which. To me seems very reasonable]

As if I don’t consider the balance between living life and making it a life worth living and the balance of what needs to be balanced so that there are potentially less complications in the future.

And it would be nice to lose weight. “For my health”, if weight cycling wasn’t a thing. It would be nice to be smaller. And I’ve worked towards being OKAY with my body. It does so much for me.

Even so (and idk how accurate a scale is) I have lost weight since having Covid. I assumed it was all muscle because I had no energy and had extreme fatigue for longer than ever before. (*I don’t remember my high school grad year depression slump well enough to say but I was also dealing with daily headache) but even though I have also lost muscle SUPPOSEDLY I have a higher percentage of muscle bc it wasn’t just muscle I lost apparently. It’s about 10 lbs last time I checked. Which. Of my height is a lot (even though I don’t know. Have I noticed? All my clothes are the same? I’m still right in between the sizes I tend to measure as. *maybe* my mask has a tiny bit more space at my double chin? I don’t know!) potentially but argh?!?

Also it’s a bit creepy that the scale remembers and transmits this to the sister’s phone when she’s back

And. Top surgery would do double duty. Affirming me. And also it would put me under my Spite Weight. (“You’ll never be able to get under that weight if you cross above it”)

But we don’t exist to lose weight.

Sometimes my tummy is cute. Sometimes I love my body. Mostly it’s just there. Disconnected. Some other person’s. dysphoria. (Disconnected by dysphoria and distorted by dysmorphia)

I… when I work I usually get about 10,000 steps in. It’s still many several thousand steps even when I’m being held up by compression socks and my ankleskneesthighships everything aches to the bone and I want to collapse into tears. (I refuse to worry about the stuff I do without my phone in my pocket quantifying everything is the devil and I shall not listen)

I choose to do things.

I am at an activity level that I’m fairly comfortable with. (Though with my days off separated for school right now I’m a little hesitant to say. Go with the queer hiking group for a 10k hike when I don’t have a recovery day after)

I refuse to starve myself. (Mostly bc of what I know it could do)

Doesn’t help when my throat closes up and doesn’t allow me to consume anything or if I try to force myself I just gag until I spit it out anyway. But I’m still able to eat enough I think. Of course you do you’re

I’m fine. I’ll enjoy a bit of cake. I’ll prepare my lunch for tomorrow. I’ll go to bed.

There are some healthier choices I try to make sometimes.

But the best food is the food you can eat (and keep down)

And tbh. Maybe it’s just getting older and that it’s winter. But like. Even though I’m lighter now than I have been for years my joints are at their worst (I should start doing physio exercises before I have to pay for them…)

[castle-dominion]

I already watched the fairytale one so now I'm on 4x18 the doppledancer episode. a dance with death.

Wow I swear I've heard that name before Ooh latin dancing! She's dead but like idk.

Oona macaroni? water under the bridge? martha is so pretty

I love pyrotechnics. Love a short 19min window lmao that probably happens on the set of Castle too. Prop open the door so you can smoke. Btw Ryan is pretty af & wearing pink, for a while I thought it was bc he just got married but now I think it just looks good on him so he chooses to wear it. Idk. Ask Luke Reichle.

Lanie my beloved. At least she knows information on her past. Of course that's how it worked. (Here's that scene btw) KB: Hey, Ryan. Can I get a list of all the guests that were invited to tonight’s taping along with anyone that checked in at security? KR: Uh, already on it, but that’s not the only way in here. There’s an exit door to the alley down the hall. The crew guys like to prop it open so they can go out for a smoke. RC: So either our killer got lucky and found an unlocked door… KB: Or this was an inside job. LP: That gets my vote. Odette was a lock to win this thing. I bet it was one of her backstabbing rivals that did this. [The others stare at her.] LP: What? I watch the show. Odette was my favorite contestant. She was an heiress raised by her rich grandpa, a party girl headed down the wrong path, then a brush with death made her wake up and change her bad-girl ways. RC: That’s a great story. LP: Except for the ending. [Lanie indicates the body in front of them.] KR: I gotta say Dr. Parish, I never figured you for a fan of A Night of Dance. ((calls her dr parish rn, love it)) LP: I’m not exactly. It’s just… when I was young, more than anything, I wanted to be a prima ballerina. If I wasn’t dancing, I was thinking about dancing. ((Says the medical examiner working on a homicide)) RC: So what happened? LP: The girls game along when I was thirteen. [Lanie indicates her chest.] ((As a trans person who used to be very physically active but now has huge bazongas, I feel for ya Lanie)) LP: Not that many top-heavy ballerinas out there. [Castle and Ryan nod understandingly.] RC: Well, I think there should be. KB: Of course you do. RC: That’s not what I meant. Although… [Castle turns to Ryan, who nods eagerly in agreement.] ((the thing is, it's easier to dance when you don't have boobs swinging around hitting you in the chin, & then there's the eating disorders & body requirements...))

Man looks good with that shirt mostly open lol Oh esposito, making eyes at a pretty girl Ryan asked the question, she answered to esposito tho! Kinda rude tbh! *The two dancers walk away* KR: Damn. Did you see that? JE: Mm-hmm. :] KR: She acted like I didn’t even exist. JE: You don’t. Not since you put that ring on your finger. *Ryan looks at his hand* Get used to being invisible to single women. oH IS THIS THE EPISODE WHERE ESPOSITO GETS RYAN'S RING STUCK ON HIS FINGER???

Except in dance it changes your body in legitimate irreversible ways. She would have needed to dance since she was a child. Well depending on the kind of dance

This weirdo co-producer judge fellow did it I think.

It was not eddy

I like eddy though

Sketch man has a freckle tho

Ryan ex-drug cop *immediately assumed it is drugs* which to be fair is a good assumption

He does not match the sketch but he kind of matches the sketch. Generic white guy with dark hair I mean yeah it was your JOB to be concerned abt her spending

I'm guessing she bought these clothes but doesn't have any in her closet: money laundering

Beckett's smile when castle gives her coffee RC: Sounds to me like the old gas card scam. KB: What do you mean? RC: Your parents put you on a strict allowance, but they give you a gas card so you can fill your car. Well, you fill your friends’ cars, and they give you cash. *Esposito listens* Some of my buddies in boarding school nearly doubled their allowance. KB: Uh-huh. RC: Not me, of course. [Beckett gives Castle a knowing look.] RC: That… [Esposito gives Castle a knowing look, too.] RC: Don’t tell my mother. ((GIRL YOU ARE AN ADULT & YOU ARE THE ONE LETTING HER LIVE IN YOUR HOUSE)) Except why would she need to buy clothes for her friends? She doesn't have a strict allowance in that way does she? Maybe it was to make it look like she is not getting cash? Ah she has a monthly cash stipend

I'm so used to people saying yasmine when it is spelled jasmine. *find the recording immediately* See? This is why you never make death threats

Like me doing my testosterone shots KB: Who’s Brian Dunkleman? ((Transcript has link to wikipedia))

Why would you assume speed of all things? Some kinds of speed don't really work injected. That's a nice bottle tho, v big, medical grade, she is not using a spoon & a lighter here. My question is: Did you find alcohol wipes, a sharps bin, extra needle tips, or anything like that?

Oona Marconi lmao. She looks good tho. Milf af. Captions said olivier, she said olivia or maybe olivié which would make sense Oh she is happy for her & her acting studio! Years & years? Don't call her old now b'y that was ages ago oona shush Laugh it off martha laugh it off Alexis there with the knife in the pie Me, planning on becoming a culinary teacher: Rude. Though accurate, I don't like line cooking & early mornings & late nights. Those who can't hack it, find better ways of hacking it, like teaching because we get regular hours RC: Could’ve been worse. *Cut to castle with beckett* RC: It couldn’t have been worse. My mother exposed her gooey center, and Oona Marconi drove a stake through it.

Diabulemia? Or maybe not... that's not how it works

Officially she was dead... "Or did she?" Secret twins? Castle all literary lol

btw there is a deleted scene here Minyard twins No idiot it was a crime of opportunity. But lol crazy wiccan powers would be funny ok but they never ran in the same circles but OG odette was a rich girl & then a party animal so you never know

The parent trap was great! They probably have similar ancestry though, it would have been better if they were distant cousins who didn't know they were related but both had ukrainian ancestry & possibly a relative in common. Could have explained it away as trauma from the crash.

RC: Well, that sounds like something better done one-on-one, mano a mano. Meantime, I want to take a ride downtown with the boys, [starting to stand up] check out that strip club. KR: Sorry, Castle. [Ryan pushes Castle back down into his chair.] KR: Three’s a crowd. [pats castle on the shoulder] [Castle and Beckett are stunned as Ryan and Esposito walk to the elevator.] JE: What’s up? Why you freezing out our boy like that? ((our boy)) KR: I want to try an experiment. Having Castle along would mess things up. [Ryan pushes the down button and clears his throat.] KR: Here. [Ryan takes off his wedding ring and holds it out to Esposito.] ((it's a really nice ring, I'd like to see a high quality pic of it.)) KR: Wear my wedding ring. ((gay lmao)) JE: What? [looks around at any other cops bc ryan is presenting a ring to esposito & the only thing missing is one knee] Get that thing away from me, man. It’s a mood killer. KR: Just wear it when we’re at the club. JE: What for? KR: See, I’ve been talking to all my married guy friends, ((I wish we knew more about their friends outside of work)) they say that your theory is way off. [gesturing with the ring] Wearing a wedding ring gets them more attention from women, not less. JE: So…? KR: So wear the ring. [shoves it in esposito's face. Esposito leans back away from it. The elevator dings & a cop sees ryan "proposing" to esposito but just kind of shakes his head & walks away.] I want to see if women still flirt with you and ignore me. [They enter the elevator.] ((btw espt's jacket is nice & has a grey-on-grey pattern on it.)) JE: So you didn’t’ want Castle to come because… Both: All the women would flirt with him. [holds it up again as the elevator starts to move] KR: I want to know if it’s just the ring that’s repelling members of the fairer sex. JE: It’s not the ring, bro. It’s you. [ryan lowers the ring, watching esposito] See, once you’ve been married for a little while and you’re feeling a little bored and unsatisfied, [ryan nods along] the ring will get you love from the ladies. They’ll want to take you away from all that so that you can be bore and unsatisfied with them. KR, still facing esposito but not looking at his face: Why not now? JE: (chuckle) Because now you’re all blissfully happy with your wife and whatnot. [ryan nods] You have the stink of honeymoon phase all over you. No woman wants to be around that. [esposito looks ryan down & up & shakes his head slightly as if he too doesn't want to be around that & turns to look away from him] KR: How long does it last? ((Why are YOU the MARRIED one asking HIM the Very Single one abt this?)) JE: Well, it’s hard to say. [taking the ring from the top] But knowing you and Jenny, [putting it on explicitly in ryan's view, but probs for the camera tbh] probably forever. [Esposito needs to kind of push Ryan’s ring on over the knuckle. Esposito cringes at it. Ryan, still facing where esposito was standing a second ago, moves his mouth to start a sentence but doesn't say anything, then follows Espt out the elevator]

She is talking to ryan this time at least, talking to both of them. Ryan has his ringless left hand up by his chin & he frequently gestures. Remember someone paid for a nose job? hm? Esposito unfolds the sketch & hands it to her with his ringed hand

Shantell: He lived over in alphabet city. He was always running some scam, borrowing money from Barbra for some new business venture and never paying her back. But she loved him. Crazy love, you know? JE: Oh, yeah. I do. [Esposito shows her Ryan's ring on his hand.] Stl: Hm. JE: Well, you’ve been very helpful, Shantell. Thank you for your time. Stl: (to Esposito) If you wanted, you could come back later. My show starts at eight. JE: I could probably do that— KR: He’s gotta get home to the little woman, [espt flounders a bit in the background] Shantell, but we do thank you for your time and your cooperation. Stl: All right. [Shantell leaves and Ryan and Esposito head for the exit.] JE: What’s wrong with you, man? Why you gotta throw salt in my game like that? KR: You can’t pick up on honeys while wearing the eternal symbol of my love and commitment to Jenny. [Ryan stops & puts a hand out, stopping Esposito too.] KR: Did I just say that out loud? JE: Mm-hmm. KR: No wonder women won’t flirt with me. I’m a lost cause, a man in love with his wife. JE, putting his hand on Ryan's shoulder: Enjoy it, my friend. A lot of men would switch places with you. [ryan riases his eyebrows & looks at espt] Not me. Mnh-Mnh. Other men. Guys. [ryan nods with squinty sus eyes] Unhappy single guys. KR: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just give me my ring back, and you can go get Shantell’s phone number. [Esposito smiles & tries to take it off, but the ring is stuck.] JE: What the… ow. KR: What? JE: (pants) It’s stuck. KR:

Castle is sitting in the desk across from beckett today. lmao alliteration Like that time you stole a police horse while naked?

lmao faux-dette, perfect name "all of barbara" Understudy to leading lady, wow he really is martha's son

Caskett are such a good team in this interrogation here I love it So fauxdette wasn't killed for being barbara she was killed for being odette probably SEE? Barbara HAD been dancnig since she was a kid!

THE BUTLER DID IT!

[Castle rubs soap on the Esposito’s hand and Esposito tries to pry off Ryan’s wedding ring.] JE: It’s not coming off. It’s like it soldered itself onto my hand. RC: Maybe it’s possessed, you know, like some kind of cursed object from a Stephen King story. KR: How can I tell my wife that I’m not wearing my wedding ring because I lent it to Esposito as an experiment to see if strippers would flirt with me? [casle looks blankly afraid & esposito cringes] Maybe she’ll see the humor in it. ((XD)) [Castle and Esposito exchange a look.] RC: Not a chance. JE: You’re a dead man.

ALEXIS MY BELOVED Dad! Work! Boundaries! *Lanie hits alexis with the file in pride*

Poor Martha : ( Ooh man has a croissant Castle & his silly accent

True, there is a professional relationship that has boundaries between like friendships & employ. He's all sus acting like he can solve the murder. How do you know that? (Man must sleep on his back or front, you can't be on your side w/o a pillow, I personally need three things. One under my head, one under my waist to keep my back straight, & one between my knees to keep my hips & therefore back straight.) Oh, aha, he really is smart! They really left a pillow? & nobody looked into the murder? The poor man looks so afraid & sad.

Do they know it's you-know-who yet? Oh yes they do lol Why would you just throw the gun in the trash? & leave the silencer on? Those things are pricey. You should have, idk, dug a hole in the ground (concrete?) & buried it. I mean yeah that sounds even to me. Pretending to be someone else & having killed someone else... yeah that sounds even enough except you already killed someone so who cares?

True. Broken dreams does not mean your life is crap. Lanie the dancer became Dr Parish, I had wanted to be in a band or smth or do a million other things & I'm looking to become a culinary teacher...

Beckett was in a prelaw course but that's boring af, she could have done anything, she could have been a lawyer doctor cop or teacher, or she could have become an astronaut a chef (her hours prove it) a film director a volunteer manager a politician a carpenter an electrician a baker... then again I listed a bunch of trades which are not befitting of a girl like her.

[40:30, INT. PRECINCT, BULLPEN - NIGHT] [Esposito grunts as he attempts to pull off Ryan’s wedding ring.] JE: Ah, it won’t— Yeah, you know what? [Esposito checks his watch.] JE: Ooh, I’m late for my stripper date, man. ((meaning ryan let him "pick up honeys" without taking off his ring)) [Esposito gives up and starts to leave.] KR: Whoa, whoa. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I cannot go home again without that ring on my finger tonight. My couch has a loose spring. My back-- ((lmao I love how Jenny made him sleep on the couch. I hope he said he let esposito try it on & did NOT say it was to see if strippers would flirt with him)) KB: Hey, did you try soap? JE: Yeah. KR: Yeah, that was, like, the first thing we did. RC: Cooking spray? JE: I didn’t think about cooking spray. KR: Where am I gonna find cooking spray? KB: Here. [Beckett takes out her lotion and puts some on Esposito’s finger. Esposito rubs the lotion in around the ring.] JE: It’s like silk. That might work. Oh, yeah. I think it’s coming. ((Why are you pushing the ring off instead of pulling tho? That's why it does what it does)) KR: Yeah? [Esposito grunts as the ring audibly (lovely fake sound) pops off and bounces across the room. Caskett look at him. Esposito cringes. Ryan looks at him] ((Makes me think tho, how did the actors play this? Is it like Mime? Or was the ring actually just slightly the wrong size?)) JE: At least it’s off my finger. [Esposito leaves & then starts running away just in case and Ryan rushes to find the ring.]

"Inches" of column space that you should let me know (not whore him out) RC: “Be kind.” For you, Mother… I can be kind. HE REALLY DOES LOVE HIS MOM. (This is how I feel about sweeping at work. "For you [only my second real job & low on the totem pole]... I can sweep the floor." I really really genuinely hate sweeping, it is embarrassing & I'm slow & bad at it & how can you be bad at sweeping but I AM & it's awkward to hold & there are people in the way & it reminds me of hockey which I dislike... ugh I hate sweeping so much)

anyway I love that sweet sweet ending of love

& as always, thank you https://scriptline.livejournal.com/63245.html live journal transcript for being here

[whatifyoulivelikethat]

bb / gg, m | jjk

pairing(s): jungkook x reader

summary: Jeon Jungkook is the lead singer in a rock band and failed his Biology class last semester, so he has to take remedial classes over the summer. You're the Biology TA, double major in Psychology and Biology, watching him freak out over his make-up exam because he had overslept. Both of you are surrounded by rumors. Does the title stand for bad boy / good girl or bad bitch / good guy? Who knows.

warnings: rated M (18+) for language; not the healthiest dynamic tbh; slight angst due to perceived unrequited love; smut (fem reader, D/s dynamics, begging, scratching / marking, choking, handjob (he is still wearing underwear), multiple orgasms, cowgirl, hair pulling, edging / orgasm denial, cock ring usage, m-masturbation, cum-eating); non-idol!BTS – rock singer, sub!Jungkook x studious, dom!reader

yes, it's SOWOOZOO JK, both the first yellow tropical look and the shredded black shirt look; for those who wanted him to be dom!JK, there is a moment when he is but not in the way you think because that's how I operate

--

Jeon Jungkook was a bad boy.

Wore too much black, dyed his hair too much, had tattoos, always had girls hanging around him. Sang in a rock band on the weekends, played electric guitar, played the game of how-many-numbers-can-I-get tonight? Never gave a girl his leather jacket to wear but was happy to buy her a drink and flirt with her until she got hot with arousal.

You were a good girl.

Always wore a blazer. Crisp white dress shirt and pleated skirt underneath, usually in a dark color. Sensible heels, but always heels. Did too many units a semester because you were double majoring in psychology and biology. Always arrived to class early, always turned in your assignments on time, always turned in your tests early and aced that shit. Took physics with calculus even though you didn’t have to because it was the harder one and you wanted a challenge.

-

Against the wall, shoving a fist into the neck, lips to lips, teeth snapping, hand travelling down, whimpering pleas and harsh growls, keep crying, I like it, ecstasy and pain, nails to skin. Tearing clothes off, biting, marking, I own you, and then, yes, you do, mouth and tongue, aching pleasure, cocked eyebrow, mocking the pathetic whines and cries, stopping right before the end, no, please, I’ve been good, and, you take what you get, hand fitting onto the neck, squeezing the sides, eyes rolling back, skin to skin, bruising slaps that would be seen tomorrow in the mirror, traced with shaking fingers and pants of an open mouth, moaning at the memory of sky-high pleasure while lightheaded and thoughtless, desperate to do it again.

-

There was a rumor.

Everyone liked Jeon Jungkook. He had two smiles, an endearing one and a teasing one. Both encapsulated the kind of person he was, honest and playful. He always sang with conviction, he rapped with savagery, and his lyrics were always from the heart. He always hung out with his bandmates after their performances at bars and interacted with those that came up to him. No one ever said Jungkook was mean or rude in any way.

And yet.

There was a rumor.

A rumor that Jeon Jungkook was taken.

He was the kind of guy that always made sure a drunk girl got home safe even though he didn’t know them. Paid for their taxi and everything. He focused a lot on his music and writing lyrics he thought would connect with others while taking into account his band members. He always told the truth if a girl confessed to him, saying he wasn’t looking right now, that he was very sorry if she thought otherwise, that there was someone he was already interested in.

-

“Oi.”

You slammed a hand onto the tabletop and Jeon Jungkook jumped, the shredded black shirt he was wearing falling down his shoulder, revealing his ink black tattoos on his tan skin. He was wearing a black tank top underneath.

“What’s with you? You missed the exam for your remedial class and you’ve spent the past ten minutes spacing out at your make-up exam,” you barked, pointing to his empty exam sheet. “You haven’t even filled out you name.”

Jungkook swallowed hard. “S… Sorry.”

You frowned. Why was he apologizing to you? Honestly, why did you sign up for this summer TA position again? Oh, right, money and credits. Hmph. It was really just an excuse for the professor to slack off while you did the tedious things like grading and watching over idiots that skipped class. Sorry, overslept. Hung over, probably, since this was the Jeon Jungkook. Rockstar, hottie, famous in his own way.

Whatever.

He could be Jesus Christ and you would still be scolding him for missing his remedial Biology exam.

“Fill out your name so at least I can fail you properly.”

Not that it mattered, since you knew who he was. He didn’t know you knew who he was, and you had zero incentive to inform him that you were indeed aware of the existence of black-haired, tattooed, chiseled-jaw, sparkly-eyed Jeon Jungkook, all due to the constant snide remarks that followed you in your wake.

You wouldn’t be such a bitch if a guy like Jeon Jungkook put you in your place.

Who the fuck was Jeon Jungkook?

This guy, this weirdo about to fail his fucking Biology exam in front of your face.

Impatiently, you rolled up the sleeves of your gray blazer and grabbed a chair, dragging it up to the table. You snapped the chair down and sat in it, smoothing your skirt. You liked to be neat. Even though university didn’t have a uniform, you liked to keep some sort of uniform for yourself. There was a sense of security in knowing you didn’t have to select an outfit every morning. Today, white dress shirt, gray blazer, pleated black skirt that hit slightly higher than mid-thigh. Every other outfit was some variation of this and, in the winter, you wore thick stockings.

You clicked your heels together under the table sharply.

He flinched at the sound.

Jungkook wasn’t looking at you. He was mumbling at his paper.

“I… I think I studied the wrong chapters…”

You clicked your tongue. Jeez.

His hand was shaking so bad that his pen was practically vibrating. You leaned over the table, grabbing his fist to still it.

“Stop.”

Your bare knees hit his bare knees, mostly because he was wearing black jeans with giant holes in them. Jungkook froze, head snapping up, silver earrings jangling, black hair flying, undercut visible for a second.

“You want to pass this class or what?”

He nodded quickly in response.

“Good. I want to get out of here. Keep your mouth shut. Answer to the first question is A.”

His eyes widened.

“Are you… helping me cheat?” he whispered, terrified.

You cocked your head, letting go of his hand. “You said you studied the wrong chapters. I’m not spending forty-five minutes of my life to watch you panic and then ten minutes more failing you,” you replied lowly, dangerous edge to your voice.

“I… couldn’t… I mean…”

You shoved his knees open with yours, narrowing your eyes as he yelped, pleading look in those brown doe eyes. You pressed your knees on the inside of his thighs, keeping them open.

“Answer to the second question is C.”

When Jungkook didn’t move, you reached over and cupped his chin. Felt his racing heartbeat pounding through his veins, coursing through your fingertips. Stared deep into those eyes, lowering the octave of your voice, keeping his thighs spread for you under the table.

“Listen to me,” you murmured softly. “Okay, Jungkook?”

“O… Okay…”

And he did.

-

There was a rumor.

Nobody liked you. Maybe it was because of your high scores ruining the class test average. Maybe it was the dismissive way you spoke to people, almost demeaning. Most likely it was a combination of the two. Students talked behind your back all the time, spreading rumors. Friends? What friends? You had an average of twenty class credits a semester. You didn’t have time to make friends. And besides, why try to make friends when clearly nobody wanted to be your friend?

And yet.

There was a rumor.

You ignored such things. You didn’t need such distractions.

-

“It would be too suspicious if you got full marks. This score is high enough.”

“O… Okay…”

“Get on the table.”

Jungkook scrambled on the wooden tabletop as you pushed his exam aside. You were still sitting in your chair. Your head tilted, eyebrow lifting at his speedy response to your rather suspicious request.

“You listened.”

He blinked at you. “Uh… yeah?”

Silence.

“Why?” you finally said.

Jungkook gulped. “Be… because you asked,” he mumbled, knees on the table, hands clutching his knees.

“You can just walk out and report me.”

He shook his head quickly, black hair flying everywhere. “I don’t want to.”

Your other eyebrow raised. He chewed on his lip, a flash of pink tongue in his movement.

“Tell me what you want. I’ll do it.”

Well.

You decided to test his conviction.

“Edge of the table. Spread your legs for me.”

Instantly, obediently, Jeon Jungkook surprised you by doing it, putting each leg on either side of you, chunky black sneakers hanging down. Shredded black shirt open, hands behind his ass, towering over you, and yet his eyes were watching you, waiting for more, begging for instruction.

“Hm.”

You raised your chin, seeing his impressively muscular thighs and body displayed for you to take. He was so close you could smell his clean, dreamy scent, like a meadow in summer dusk, surrounded by peeking stars and blinking fireflies. Interesting.

But you didn’t need the distraction.

“That’s it. You can go now,” you said dismissively, about to push your chair back.

His legs closed in, pressing firmly into your upper arms. Your eyes flickered up to him.

Jungkook shook his head very slowly.

“Do what you want.”

You saw his chest rise and fall, his silvery voice deepening, pupils expanding.

“I know you want to do something to me.”

His erection was bulging against the zipper of his black jeans. Your eyes went back to his face. He shivered at your sharp stare. All of this was happening in an otherwise empty lecture hall, with you and Jungkook at the very bottom.

Just you and him.

You placed your hands on his thighs. He jumped a little, but scooted closer to you. You slid your hands up. You undid the button of his jeans, scrutinizing those brown eyes. He raised his hips to help you as you pulled the zipper down.

“You don’t know me,” you finally said, no inflection in your voice.

He didn’t look away. “I don’t care.”

“Hmm.” You smirked. “Bad boy, aren’t you?”

Jungkook shook his head slightly, but didn’t break eye contact as you pulled his pants to his knees and reached for his black boxer briefs. “No. I’m a good guy. I want to give you what you want.” You hooked your fingers over the waistband and nicked his skin with your nails, making him gasp, the pleasure evident in his tone. He did not try to hide it from you. “I want to be good for you.”

“Why is that?”

He hung his head a little.

“Something about… how you make me feel…” he muttered. His gaze finally faltered. You reached up and righted his chin, forcing him to look at you. Saw that Jungkook had a mole under his mouth, perfectly in the center. He had a nice shape to his pink lips. You tapped his cheek, nudging him to elaborate. “You… You’re so pretty… and smart… Everyone looks up to you because you have such good grades…”

You doubted that.

Jungkook probably had no idea that most of the school hated your guts.

You didn’t have classes with Jungkook, but you were sure he knew your name because your name was posted on the Dean’s List of the highest-ranking students of the university every semester. Also, you weren’t hard to miss. Every student moved out of your way when you walked through the halls, whispering behind their hands.

Jungkook brought you back to the present.

“I feel,” he whispered, voice trembling, gaze locking with yours. “I feel like I want to be on my knees for you.”

His skin was warm under your nails.

“Like this is where I belong, in your hands.”

You stood up.

Jungkook started, turning into a tight squeak as you placed your hand on his chest and pushed him down.

“Lift up your shirt with both hands.”

He did was he was told, revealing his toned abs and the lower half of his pecs, biting his lip, clutching onto his tank top, ears turning red as he craned his head to look down at you. You didn’t give him any satisfying response. His tan skin seemed to glow under the overhead lights. You studied his face.

Reached up and began to rub his erection through his underwear.

“A… ah…”

“Gonna make you cum like this.”

He shook his head quickly. “P… Please, no…”

You felt him swell and twitch under your hand. He was pretty big. Thick. Pretty boy with a pretty dick, probably. You rubbed the head with your palm, feeling his pre-cum leaking through the thin fabric. He wasn’t kidding when he said you made him feel some kind of way.

“Why not? Make you cum in your underwear and then you have to go all the way home covered in it. All dirty, just for me.”

His handsome face twisted with sinful pleasure at your suggestion, whimpers in his throat. His cock jerked with need, wanting it.

“O… Okay. Whatever you want.”

So obedient.

“So obedient, Jungkook,” you purred, rubbing faster.

He nodded. “For you. Only for you. Just for you.”

Was it just saying those things because he thought that was what you wanted to hear? Or was that how he actually felt? Surely not the latter, considering he didn’t really know you. You leaned over him, placing your free elbow on the table to stabilize yourself. You hadn’t even kissed him.

“You’re so hard for me,” your drawled, lowering your head, letting your warm breath float down onto his skin. “You want to cum for me, don’t you?”

“Y… yes, please…”

“You want to be my toy?”

You pressed your lips to his bellybutton, feeling the smoothness of his skin, tasting it. He moaned at your kiss, your swift tongue flickering out to that delicious skin, whining when your teeth nipped at the softness. Fuck, he tasted so good that you wanted to mark him. Looked so fucking good that you wanted to mess him up, mar him with temporary imperfections on the perfection that was Jeon Jungkook.

“Yes…”

With breathless, lustful conviction.

You licked up his abs, increasing the intensity and speed of rubbing the engorged head of his cock, the pre-cum already soaked through and creating a slippery surface, turning Jungkook’s pitched whines to deep moans, a melody that filled up the entire lecture hall until was the only thing you could hear, Jungkook’s moans as you bit his skin, his moans as you sucked on his skin, moans as you kissed the hard muscle, cries for more at you left marks, pleading for you, sweet and beautiful, clutching his shirt so tight that his knuckles were white, the black tattoos of his right hand standing out, his cock throbbing in your hand, his hips rising to hump your palm, your name on his lips, over and over and over.

“Gonna… gonna cum…” he panted, sniffing slightly, cheeks flushing pink. “Gonna cum like how you want me to, all over my underwear…”

Your fingertips touched his side, seeing him stiffen and then shudder at your gentle caress.

“Do it,” you murmured. “Show me how good you are at listening, Jungkook.”

He bit his lower lip, jaw clenching, squeezing his eyes shut, tipping his head back into the tabletop, whining your name in his chest, your palm working him, slick and hot and hard, pulsating under your roughness. With a sharp moan, his lower lip popped out of his teeth, dark red and swollen, small mole quivering.

“F-Fuck…!”

You felt it and heard it, the unmistakable jolt and squelch as his orgasm splattered inside his boxer briefs, drenching the fabric, drenching your hand, his embarrassed whines as he realized what he had done but still humping your hand, forcing out every last twitch of dribbling cum, causing you to smear it everywhere, coating the sensitive head and adding to the pleasure, his cheeks flushed red, eyes squeezed shut to savor the pleasure and avoid looking at you.

“Shh…”

You crawled onto the table, still holding his cock through his soiled underwear, squeezing it, free hand slipping under his head and lifting him, his eyes weakly opening, scared and anxious, but all you did was lean down and kiss him, pressing your lips to that pure softness, exhaling his name into his mouth, his scent staining your hand, his cologne filling your nose, your whisper in his throat.

“Time for you to go home.”

-

Jungkook thought you would tell everyone.

You did no such thing.

Instead, you ignored him.

He would see you three times a week and, three times a week, you arrived with the professor and left with the professor. Jungkook tried much harder to attend classes, but you seemed not to care either way. He would come to the front and collect his assignment and find that you had marked it up exactly like everyone else, red marks all over his incorrect answers. You didn’t even look in his direction.

The next exam was coming up quickly.

Part of him considered skipping exam day to have one-on-one time with you again.

“Jungkook.”

He jumped, jerking his head towards the hall, confused. Somehow, he had heard your voice. Or rather, did he imagine it? His teeth sunk into his lip, placing a hand on his forehead, confused. His head was confused. He couldn’t think straight. Why had he done such an embarrassing thing with you? Even you had told him to leave and report you. But Jungkook just couldn’t. Not then and not now. He had asked for it.

He still wanted it.

Nobody knew. Everybody thought he was a cocky, womanizing playboy. And he was, but not because of the sex. It was only because he was bored and that was all he could get. There was power in being on top.

And there was power in letting go.

You were bad for him.

He was a good guy.

You were a bad bitch.

And nobody knew.

A hand slapped down on his shoulder and yanked him around, the loose short sleeves of his yellow tropical shirt flaring out, making his sunglasses rattle on his face. You narrowed your eyes at him. Instant shivers down his spine at your stern gaze.

“Are you deaf?” you snapped. “I’ve been calling your name for the past minute.”

“I… S-Sor–”

You waved a hand dismissively, grabbing his right hand and slapping down a post-it into it.

“Chapters for the exam, including the date and time. Do not miss it this time. I will not let you make it up and fail you on the spot.”

You turned on your heel, letting go of his hand.

His left one shot out and circled around your arm, his rings pressing into your skin.

“Wait.”

You jerked your head towards him, glaring sharply. “Don’t touch me.”

And you yanked your arm out of his grasp, but his legs made the choice for him, following your swift strides, his backpack hanging off one shoulder, clutching the post-it and his last strands of sanity.

“Please, wait.”

“What?” was your curt response, not looking back at him.

“Please do it again,” he gasped breathlessly, unable to stop himself.

“Do what?”

“Have your way with me.”

You stopped walking.

Jungkook walked straight into your back and banged his nose on your head. He winced, stepping back and rubbing it gingerly. He didn’t register you turning around until it was too late and you were right in his face. You raised your chin and eyebrow simultaneously.

“No.”

He blinked rapidly, his tinted sunglasses halfway down the bridge of his nose.

“W… Why? Did you not like it? Was… was I bad?”

You let out an amused scoff.

The side of your lips curved upwards.

He had made you smile, even if only a little bit. Just that small thing was enough to feed his courage.

“I…” Jungkook coughed, clearing his throat before he spoke again, voice still a soft whisper in his embarrassment even though no one was around to eavesdrop. “I can be better. I can do better.”

Silence.

He thought you were going to walk away again.

You reached up and plucked his glasses off his nose. Folded them neatly and tucked them in his tropical shirt pocket. Then your eyes found his again and he knew something was different. He could see you clearly now, his vision no longer clouded by sienna.

Now, Jungkook could no longer stop it.

He could feel it all over him, coursing through his veins, arousal like fire. Something about you and something about him. Jungkook could sense the danger, but he didn’t want to run even though he knew he should. He had heard the rumors surrounding you. They could be true.

And yet.

“I want it,” Jungkook breathed, inviting himself into the danger. “I want you. I want to be your toy.”

Your discerning expression didn’t change.

You reached up and gripped his chin, digging your nails into his soft skin.

He whimpered in his chest, moving closer to you.

“What’s my name?”

His brows furrowed, saying your name hesitantly.

You pulled his chin down so he was eye-level.

“Next time you say my name, I will be choking it out of you.”

-

Everyone thought Jeon Jungkook was the kind of guy to grip your wrist with his left hand and your throat in his right, his lips against your ear and his sweaty chest against your back as you slapped your ass into his crotch and fucked yourself with his rock-hard cock, his smirk in your ear as he provided you with a certain type of encouragement.

“That’s right, you want this dick, don’t you? Show me. Prove to me you want it.”

His fingertips tightening against the sides of your neck, listening to your pathetic cries and moans as you tried to squirm against him, brain running out of oxygen due to lack of blood, running out of thoughts, running out of pleas as Jungkook gripped your wrist, deep snarl against your hair as he roughly finished himself off using your body because that’s all you were, someone to be used by him and nothing more, neck suddenly released with a breathless gasp and shoved face first into the sheets with his right hand splayed on your back, his tattoos and your orgasm crashing down on you, his growls staining the air and a fierce jerk of his hips to spill into your tight hole and leave you moments after, nothing but a discarded toy in his eyes.

You thought.

That was what everyone thought when Jeon Jungkook stood on stage, flipping his dark violet microphone between verses and smirking like a devil, truly in command of every thought and every pair of eyes on him, surrounded by a heavy bass line and deafening drums, guitar solo tearing through the moment to emphasize the next of his lips nearing the mic again, entrancing the crowd with his beautiful lips and talented tongue.

No one knew.

-

You were riding him hard and fast, torn condom wrappers and used condoms littering his bed, back-to-back orgasms, his head pressed into his pillows, your hand around his neck, the other leaving long lines down his chest, scratching him so hard that it dotted red, blooming lines of pain.

“Don’t stop, please don’t stop, f-fuck…”

Jungkook was hoarsely whispering, clutching his sheets, black hair soaked with sweat, raising his chest to your nails, whimpering, punish me, punish me, punish me, and you muttered plainly with a sharp edge, you talk too much, your grip tightening again, pressing onto the sides of his neck, cutting off the blood flow, and Jungkook moaned gratefully, eyelids fluttering, the slap of your hips to his louder and louder, filling up his whole bedroom, rattling his bedframe, fucking him so hard he was slowly sliding up to his headboard.

Your name fell from his lips in pure ecstasy, back arching to shove his whole length fully into you, thick and hard and twitching with need, your slick walls clamping down on him, fitting to him with a hiss. He began to match you, breathless, lightheaded, world hazy, moaning from deep in his chest, I love you, and your reply was only tightening your grip, your hand and your pussy, harder, harder, harder.

“Aren’t you such a good guy?” you scoffed sarcastically, letting up for only a second to let him reply, blood rocketing back into his brain, flooding him with oxygen, and Jungkook sucked in a lungful of air, reeling.

“N-No…” he panted. “You’re the good girl… you’re always s-so… so good to me…”

His eyes locked with yours hazy with lust and love. You almost looked away out of instinct.

“You a-always remember… what I like…” he managed to choke out.

-

You left him when you were done using him.

You pretended he didn’t say those words to you. There was no point in acknowledging the nonsense that he said in the middle of being choked and barely functioning. You tapped your pencil against your textbook.

You caught yourself thinking about him.

Jeon Jungkook.

Your eyes flickered to the clock. Late at night on a Friday. He was probably at a bar. You watched the second hand of your plain silver clock tick, tick away. You never asked to watch him and his band perform even though Jungkook always made it a point to text you the address and the time.

It was obvious Jungkook didn’t want you to be his secret.

He wasn’t really your secret either. You just saw no benefit to letting anyone know there was a connection between you and Jeon Jungkook. After all, you were just using him.

You stopped tapping your pencil.

Stared at the second hand.

Tick.

Heard the voices of the rumors poisoning you, saying the things they said.

She thinks she’s so much better than everyone else because she’s a nerd.

The only reason she has good grades is because she fucked that one professor.

I heard she dated him.

I mean, there’s a reason he left in the middle of the semester, right?

He had a wife!

Snap.

Your eyes flickered down.

The tip of your pencil lead rolled across the page, leaving tiny pinpricks of granite.

There was never any evidence because nothing happened. Nothing happened between you and said psychology professor. He left in the middle of the semester because his wife had a miscarriage and he wanted to be with her. It had nothing to do with you. You had long discussions with him about life and existentialism, hanging out during his office hours.

Sometimes, you felt bad.

Had you kept him from his wife? Would it have not happened if he just skipped his office hours and didn’t spend them talking to you? These were irrational, foolish thoughts. They made you guilty even when there was nothing to be guilty about.

He was a nice guy, mid-thirties. Everyone liked this professor.

They blamed you because they didn’t know.

Only you knew, because he told you with tears in his eyes and thanked you for being his student.

You didn’t tell anyone, because he did not owe you an explanation and you were not going to divulge someone’s personal business that they had shared with you in confidence. You watched your reputation crumble and fall apart, watched friends ostracize you, because you didn’t tell them anything and they didn’t believe you. You watched yourself turn bitter and hateful.

Just tell the truth.

There was no truth to be told.

You put your pencil down.

Closed your eyes.

Remembered Jungkook’s face.

-

Your hands were in his hair, pulling hard. His hot breath was in your face, arms shaking as he held himself up, fucking you into his mattress with whines in his chest, begging you, begging you, begging you.

“P-Please… let me cum, please…”

You liked to watch the sweat clinging to his high cheekbones and neck, jaw glistening with tension, feeling his strong body between your legs, his twitching hardness sliding into you repeatedly in rough, hard smacks, squeezing him every time he was fully sheathed inside you, vibrations coursing through you every time he came down.

“Not until I’m done,” you growled and he whimpered, pleading look in those brown doe eyes, black pupils expanded, unable to cum because a vibrating cock ring was restricting his orgasm, keeping him hard but unable to climax, sending thundering pleasure through him and into you. He watched helplessly as you gripped his hair, hissing sharply as another wave of pleasure overtook you, closing your eyes to savor it, savor his swollen cock twitching inside you as he felt the intense massage of your pussy walls closing around him, throbbing around the head and driving him insane, moaning pathetically because he couldn’t follow suit no matter how desperate he was.

Jungkook didn’t ask if you were done.

He just kept going because you told him he couldn’t cum until you were done.

And you didn’t say you were done.

You stared into those brown orbs, hazy with lust and full of conviction to be good for you.

Desperate to be the best and the only one, not knowing there was no one else because no one else wanted you like the way Jeon Jungkook wanted you.

“Pull out.”

“B-But…”

“You heard me,” you exhaled, throbs of pleasure still trembling through you. Your hands slid down, cupping his chin, nails digging into his sweaty cheeks. “Obey.”

With a pained whine, Jungkook obeyed, pulling out of you, his cock covered in your juices, wearing a condom and the black cock ring. You reached over with one hand to press the button on the remote to turn in off.

“Take it all off. Let me see your cock.”

He reached down and slowly pulled the cock ring off, taking the condom with it, whimpering at the sensitivity, his tone hitting a lovely pitched groan as the silicone squeezed the base of the head. His whole body was shaking as it fell from his hands, the veins on his length standing out, head purple-red and angry, white pre-cum slowly beading at the tip, and his face, looking down at you, waiting for your next move.

Cock waiting to be used.

You tapped your chest.

“Cum on my tits.”

“B-But–”

You cut him off.

“You’re going to cum on my tits and then you’re going to lick it off while I watch.”

-

He listened.

Jungkook straddled your waist with his thighs, muscular and defined, right hand wrapping around his cock, sweat making the tattoos on his forearm and shoulder glow in the low light, smelling like sex and musk, his core tightening as he touched his overstimulated length, using the lube of the condom and his own pre-cum to add to the pleasure as he began to stroke himself, moaning as you lifted your hands and cupped your breasts, pushing them together, his eyes on the curve of your cleavage and points of your hard nipples sticking out, and then your face, an indifferent look with a cocked eyebrow, taunting him, unimpressed by his timid grip on his cock, so he squeezed harder, tighter, embarrassing cries falling from his mouth, living for the smirk that slowly began to form on your lips.

It empowered him somehow, that smirk, the little inkling of satisfaction that Jungkook wanted, needed, craved, knowing he was doing well, being good, furiously pumping his aching cock over your pressed-together tits and he couldn’t last, couldn’t help it, too overstimulated and too turned on, too in love with this to prevent himself from tipping over with a hot gasp, spilling streams of sticky white lines over your breasts, spreading them everywhere, making a huge mess because he wanted a huge mess to clean up, shoving the head into your cleavage and shuddering at the sensation of warmth to his scorching heat, able to feel the pulse of the engorged tip dripping out what was left, shivers up and down his spine, the words falling from his mouth that he never stopped saying even though you never acknowledged them.

“I... l-love you…”

He stayed like that for nearly a full minute, but you didn’t tell him to get off.

His eyes were closed, savoring the feeling.

Slowly, Jungkook gingerly removed himself, lowering his body over yours, tongue sliding out, touching your skin covered in his cum, his taste, mine, no one else’s, him on you, lapping it up, salty and bitter and yet he loved it, loved that you told him to do it, loved that you let him paint your skin with his orgasm and now his saliva. He didn’t care that you never said anything to his I love you, didn’t care that you seemed to pretend he never said it, because he would continue saying it when he was with you, hopeless as it was.

It was the small things that kept him going, sucking his own cum off your nipple and wrapping his lips around it, hearing your soft sigh of pleasure, feeling the tap on his thigh that instructed him to scoot up, the small thing of your hand closing in on his spent cock, sending sparks of pain but also pleasure, moaning into your skin as you massaged his balls with your fingers, knowing that he could take more pressure and roughness because he had just came, the small thing of your thumb rubbing the sensitive slit, his face pressing into your breasts, smearing his cheek with his cum and saliva, sliding across your slick skin because of the intensity of the high it gave him, the pleasure and the pain, his right arm coming up to wrap around you, tattoos cradling your torso.

“I love you…” he whispered to your racing heart under his ear, lost in the rhythm of your heartbeat and the firmness of your touch. Jungkook did not care if you hated him saying it.

He would continue saying it as long as he was with you.

-

“What are you doing?”

“Nothing…?”

“Hmm.”

He placed his hand over the bottom of his phone and smiled at the cute girl that was talking to him at the bar.

“Sorry. I have to take this call. It’s important to me.”

He didn’t hear her response, because he backed away, bowing lightly, pressing his phone back to his ear.

“Ah, never mind, Jungkook.”

“No, no. What is it? Tell me.”

“You’re at a noisy place. It’s Saturday night.”

Jungkook pushed through the people, mumbling his apologies and straining to hear your voice over the thundering bass. “I finished. Well, we finished. We’re only drinking. I can leave at any time. I’ll just text the guys to bring my equipment back for me. Where are you?”

“Forget it.”

He opened the door of the club as the dial tone rang in his ear.

Looked up.

Your hand dropped to your side. You were still in your white dress shirt and navy skirt, dressed exactly like you were when at school minus the blazer. Jungkook’s eyes widened. He was in a torn-up long-sleeve shirt with the right sleeve removed, showing off his tattoos. His black hair was wild and half-wet, and he was wearing tight leather pants.

You clicked your tongue.

“I said forget it,” you repeated hollowly.

You sighed and turned around, skirt swishing in your wake.

“Wait, I’ll come with you–”

“Go back to where you belong, Jungkook.”

His hand closed around your forearm, holding tight.

“I belong with you.”

You stopped walking, silent.

“What is it? Tell me.”

You scowled. “It’s dumb.”

“So am I, remember?” he chuckled, his hand slipping down, squeezing yours. “I’m not very good at school.”

You didn’t say anything for a moment. Cars and people brushed past, but Jungkook was focused onto on your stillness, watching your eyes seemed to be thinking about many things. You hadn’t pulled your hand out of his yet. By now, Jungkook knew that if you didn’t want something, you wouldn’t be shy about telling him right away.

You started walking again. Jungkook was still holding your hand.

“It was just a moment of weakness,” you mumbled under your breath.

“A guy…?”

You didn’t answer.

Jungkook squeezed your hand. “It’s okay,” he murmured tightly. “I understand.”

He did not. He wanted to cry.

Your eyes shot to him, pinning him in place. “You don’t understand, Jeon Jungkook. You understand nothing.” You pulled your hand out of his and Jungkook let go, trying to hold his pain, trying not to breathe because he was preparing himself for the inevitable, the moment you were going to break his heart and, if it was right here and right now, then so be it, because he had said how he felt repeatedly and there was nothing more he could do than that.

He loved you so, so bad.

Jungkook knew he shouldn’t, that it was madness, but he did anyway.

But you surprised him.

Your sharp gaze softened.

“You know what they say about me. You have to know,” you exhaled, shaking your head. “You must know the rumors.”

Good girl gone bad.

Jungkook frowned. “About you and the professor?”

He watched your jaw clench.

“Does it matter?” he asked.

Your eyes shifted, not quite looking at him.

“Whether something did or didn’t happen, what does that have to do with me?”

And now you looked at him, guarded, not letting him know your thoughts.

“You…” He swallowed, trying to press the lump down in his throat. “You’re just using me, right? It doesn’t… doesn’t really matter, because in the end I don’t matter to you anyway… right?”

He did not want to cry and yet he did, because he knew he loved you. It was the small things, the way you never let up on him even in class, the way you picked days that were never the weekend and never before exams, the way you would brush your fingertips on his knuckles before leaving when you thought he was asleep, the way on the last time, the last time you were together, that you pressed your lips to his forehead when you thought he was asleep, running your fingers through his hair.

Jungkook was standing outside this bar and there were people he knew walking past, seeing you and him, but he kept his eyes on you, because the only one that mattered was you.

The one he belonged to was you.

He had decided that when he climbed onto the table that day.

He stuck his hands in his pockets and let out a heavy breath. “If people say things about you, then they say things about you. Whether it’s the truth or not doesn’t change the fact I love you. It doesn’t make me love you less,” Jungkook said, speaking at his usual volume, because there was no reason to whisper the truth. “Even if it’s pointless and crazy, I want to be with you until the day you don’t want to be with me.”

His smiled and blinked back tears.

“Even if that day is today, I will never regret it.”

In this cruel summer, you could have ruined his reputation. You could have told everyone the kind of person he really was and you didn’t. You could have spread embarrassing stories of the things you made him do and you didn’t.

Even if he didn’t matter to you, Jungkook was confident that you weren’t a malicious person.

You rubbed your forehead. “The rumors will come to you.”

Jungkook laughed. “So what? I heard a rumor that I removed two ribs so I could suck my own dick. I admit, I considered doing it after hearing that.”

You scowled, but Jungkook only smiled in return. He could see the tension falling from your face with his comment. You clicked your tongue and tilted your head, as if to say, can’t be helped.

“There’s no other guy,” you muttered. “There’s just you and you’re dumb.”

Jungkook blinked rapidly, confused.

“You say it over and over and make me think about it all the time.” You sighed heavily, running a hand through your hair. “I’m not a good girl. People pushed me away and I stayed there instead of trying to repair the burned bridges. I don’t even think I want to repair them. Who knows what will happen next? I don’t think it would be a good idea to put you through that shit.”

You sucked on the inside of your cheek, looking at him apologetically.

“You’re not the bad boy everyone says you are. You’re a good guy. You should find a good girl.”

Is that what you think? Jungkook chuckled, taking out his hand and rubbing his nose thoughtfully.

“I don’t want a good girl.”

He stepped toward you, lowering his hand and his head so that he was eye level with you.

“I love a bad bitch who can push me around and makes me their toy.”

He tilted his head, small curve on those beautiful lips, tiny mole underneath appearing with every smile.

“Which can only be you, you know.”

Jungkook didn’t try to kiss you. He only wanted to look into your eyes so you knew his conviction.

“I love you.”

You raised an eyebrow.

“Yeah, I’ve heard you say it.”

He nodded. “And I’m going to keep saying it until the day you leave me.”

Silence.

Ah.

Your eyebrow lowered and you gave him an indifferent look.

“Hm. I wonder when that will be, Jungkook.”

You leaned in, but before you kissed him, he heard the whisper against his lips, felt the shape of yours as they brushed against his, words he prepared himself to never hear from you, words that he thought you would never say, and that was fine with him, because you showed it, and that was enough.

He thought.

“I love you.”

And then your lips on his and his tears fell onto your cheeks because Jungkook wanted to cry all this time and he could not stop now, knowing that he was so, so in love with you and you finally, finally said it back to him.

--

masterpost

[realcube]

comfort with the haikyuu!! boys hcs 💝

characters: kenma, bokuto, ushijima, tsukishima, akaashi

thanks to anon for the request (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

ALL AGED UP! (no mature themes though) (i just like the post-timeskip domestic dynamics)

tw// hurt! reader, swearing, mentions of death, fluff, angst if you squint

Kenma Kuzome

bb has cat senses so he can tell when you’re sad

he can also tell bc you do the exact same thing he does when he’s sad, which is cuddle underneath blankets in bed, play animal crossing and blare lo-fi music to conceal your faint sobs

so when he walks into your shared room and notices you wrapped up in blankets on the bed, he does his best to suppress a snicker whicH HE FEELS SO BAD FOR HAVING IN THE FIRST PLACE

like he knows you’re sad but a part of his mind is just like ‘heh, (y/n) burrito.’ like you just look sO FKN CUTE!!

anyway, the first thing he always does when you’re down is approach you on the bed, sneak under the blankets and join to you to become a (y/n) & kenma burrito 

also, he might turn the speaker off depending on how loud the music is lol but if it’s at an okay volume then he’ll just leave it on and vibe with you for a bit as he desperately wracks his brain, trying to come up with something reassuring to say 

you usually comes up with the something basic like, ‘what’s wrong?’ but i mean, you don’t really mind - at least he’s making an effort and you know it must be difficult for him to think of things to say lol

depending on how sad you are, you might just tell him straight-up what happened or you might text him bc you don’t think you’ll be able to choke out an answer without bursting into tears again

then he’ll ask you if you want to be alone and act accordingly 

assuming that you say ‘no’ bc you want his presence, he’ll just recollect on the last time you comforted him while he was down and mimic it tbh

..you always comfort him so well 🥺 and whenever you console him, he always feels so much better so he just thought that maybe if he imitates you, then it’ll work just as well

so he started off by resting his head on your shoulder and whispering kind things in your ear just like you did to him, ‘you know i love you, right?’ , ‘i hope you feel better soon’, ‘do you want me to bring you some food?’

he’ll seriously do everything in his power to make sure that you’re as comfortable as possible 

and he’ll stay as a (y/n) & kenma burrito until you feel better or until the sun rises  ( *^-^)ρ(*╯^╰)

Kōtarō Bokuto

i’ve said this before and i’ll say it again - he’s such an empath and so overdramatic

so when he comes home from work and you don’t run up to the door to give him hugs & kisses- he’s about to burst into tears himself

so he sulks up to your room now IMAGINE HOW SHOCKED HE IS WHEN HE WALKS IN TO SEE YOU CRYING UNDER THE BLANKETS

emo-mode engaged :(

his hair deflates as he pounces on you and wails, ‘(Y/N)! WHY ARE YOU CRYING?! ARE YOU OKAY?! WHO HURT YOU?!’ (ಥ _ ಥ)

and the bitch dives on you while you are under the blanket, essentially scaring and suffocating you 

‘bokuto, get off me!’ you shrieked, wriggling out of his grip and out from under the blanket

 when he notices you had escaped the blanket with tear-stained cheeks, he felt even worse 

he threw himself into your arms, howling, ‘(Y/N)!! I AM SO SORRY!’

at this point all the blood had rushed to your head and you had kinda forgotten that you were sad for a moment or two

‘bo! you should know you’re own strength by now.’ you muttered, rubbing the underneaths off your puffy eyes

‘I KNOW!’ he wailed once more, burying his face into the crook of your neck

you sighed while rubbing his back, unable to supress a slight giggle, ‘bokuto..’ 

there was ages of silence between the two of you before he pulled away to look you in the eyes and asked, ‘(y/n), why were you crying before i got here?’

you’d explain the issue to him and he’d do everything in his power to solve it because the way he sees it, why should he try console you when he can just fix the variable that’s making you sad in the first place?

like, if you were just fired from your job, he’ll go full karen and he will call corporate to demand for your job back if you don’t stop him

or if your loved one died, he’ll become a fkn medium or study resurrection

or if you’re just stressed from exams/tests, he’ll just be like ‘why do you need to go to uni anyway?’

‘so i can get a qualification.’

‘why do you need that?’

‘so i can apply for a job.’

‘why do you need a job?’

‘so i can make money, so i don’t starve.’

‘you can have my money!’

you couldn’t help but chuckle at how much life-experience bokuto had, yet he will still so naïve; honestly, you couldn’t even tell if he was joking or not. ‘what if we break up?-”

“DON’T SAY THAT!” he gasped, instinctively tightening his grip on you

Wakatoshi Ushijima

both you and ushijima’s pride did not allow y’all to cry in front of one another 

if you ever had to cry, you’d just run to the bathroom, lock the door, turn on the tap to drown out the sound of your sobs and just let it all out

and if he ever had to cry, he’d just do it in the shower

but like- you both knew when the other one had been crying because of their puffy, damp eyes but you both mutually agreed to not mention it

i mean, up until now y’all had both been able to flourish in the relationship while dealing with emotions on your own so why bother changing?

and if anything, you both felt more comfortable crying to yourselves

 that was, until today

you had cracked under the pressure of your job - you were simply sitting at your desk in the study room, doing some work then it all just came crashing down

ushijima had just stepped out of the shower in his towel and was currently wandering around the house in search of you, to inform you that he ran out of shampoo so it would be greatly appreciated if you were to add it to the shopping list 

but when he entered the study to see you sitting there by your computer, bawling you eyes out..he froze

like he had to do a whole double-take bc he wasn’t sure if he was seeing this correctly

your face was buried in your hands so you didn’t notice him at first but then you heard him awkwardly clear his throat from the doorway and your neck immediately jerked to look at him

it was quite embarrassing for the both of you, ngl

like he was standing there half-naked, staring into your red eyes in hopes that what he saw was just a hallucination

after what felt like hours of deafening silence, ushijima broke it by muttering under his breath, ‘uh, is everything okay?’

‘everything is fine, toshi.’ you replied, forcing a bright smile onto your face as you went back to typing, ‘did you come down here to tell me somethi--’

‘i can tell that there is something wrong.’ he stated, walking towards you while using one had to hold his towel in place and draping the other over your shoulders to pull you into his chest. ‘do you want to tell me?’

you let out a long sigh, resting your cheek against his chest while still staring at the many tabs you had open on your desktop 

but ushijima quickly fixed that by taking your chin in-between his thumb and index finger, then turning your face to look up at him, 

‘work?’ he hummed his assumption

‘yeah.’ you mumbled, quite surprised at how understanding he was being

but then again, ushijima obviously knows what it feels like to be overworked and burnt out too, so he was able to provide a lot of empathy in that sense

Kei Tsukishima

ok a bit of tsukki slander but i feel like tsukishima would make it worse WEILUBRGBE

wait no well, he doesn’t make it worse but he doesn’t make it better either

like he’ll walk into the living room and see you curled up under a blanket on the couch, lightly sobbing from underneath- and he honestly doesn’t know how to act

this is the first time he’s seen you cry bc usually y’all keep your emotions to yourselves - you’re both v independent like that （￣︶￣)

anyway, mans thinks he can just tease the sadness out of you 🙄

‘awh, is my little couch goblin feeling sad?’ he said shakily, clearly intimidated by your figure lying on the couch, and you could tell he was nervous per his use of the nickname ‘couch goblin’

‘‘TSUKISHIMA, FUCK OFF!’ you barked, hastily wiping away your tears and clinging to blanket to prevent him from pulling it away, as the last thing you wanted him to see was your weary figure just so he could tease you about it 

‘bitch, i live here.’ he hissed, rubbing the back of his neck - feeling rather conflicted

on one hand, you seemed serious when you asked him to leave; plus, the last thing he wanted to do was make you feel uncomfortable by staying when you’re already sad

but on the other hand, he genuinely wanted to help

he’d feel bad if he were to just leave his s/o in tears when he could’ve done something to make you feel better 

‘do you really want me to go?’ he asked and for a change, not a hint of mockery or sarcasm was found in his voice

there were several moments of silence until you mumbled from under your blanket, ‘no.’ then proceeded to lift up your arm to allow him to crawl under the blanket and join you

he did so, pulling you against his chest so you could sob lightly against his cotton shirt while being engulfed by warm darkness

‘what could’ve possibly went wrong to make the evilest blanket demon cry?’

‘evilest blanket demon’ - that was definitely a new one, and you’d be lying if you said a small snicker didn’t escape your mouth at how monotonously he was able to deliver such a unique nickname

and after years of being in a relationship with tsukki, you’ve learned to find comfort in these nicknames considering they were a big part of how he expressed love 

in his vocabulary, ‘you’re so annoying.’ is equal to ‘i love you’

so him calling you an ‘evil blanket demon’ was, in his eyes, the highest and most sincere form of flattery

you eventually tell him what happened that made you sad and he just listens 

feel free to ramble on about anything/everything that’s worried you for the last few months bc he’s all ears 

he figured that other than make you dinner and hug you, that was the best thing he could do to help bc he was far from a romantic who’s good with words 

if he tries to console you verbally it would probably come out like ‘uh, don’t cry - i understand what you’re going through, i think, but like- cry if you want. this must be tough for you, to be honest.’

so he just listens to what you have to say and occasionally inputs a lil’ ‘mhm’ or ‘yeah’

he’s probably the most patient with you so you could stay sad on the couch for the next few weeks, as long as you’re eating the meals he delivers to you and you’re staying healthy, he’ll just let you mope until you feel better tbh

Keiji Akaashi

boyfie material right here

i’m hardly an akaashi simp but he’s probably the best at comforting you while you’re sad tbh

because he’s literally been dealing with bokuto and his emo-mode for god-knows how long so he’s very good with reassuring people😌

also, i just know that this man can detect emotions so well- evEN THROUGH TEXT ISTG

he’d text you the usual ‘goodnight ❤’

and you’ll quickly wipe away your tears that were blurring your vision to reply ‘goodnight 💕’ 

then he’ll deadass text back like ‘i’m coming over. what’s wrong?’

HE JUST KNOWS!! don’t question it bc he doesn’t even have a logical answer lol

anyway, he’ll arrive and immediately begin with the reassurance before you even tell him what’s wrong 

‘you’re coping so well, (y/n).’

‘i’m so proud and i love you so much.’

‘is there anything i can do to make you feel better?’

‘would you like a hug?’

‘you’re beautiful, (y/n). i hope you know that.’

‘do you want me to get you ice-cream?’

a king- 👑

also, you weren’t embarrassed to cry in front of him either bc you had seen him cry before 

plus, y’all both established at the very beginning of the relationship that you’d both try be as honest and open with your emotions as possible

so now, you were both sitting beside each other on your bed while sharing a banana split that akaashi made (you put the sprinkles on though so you basically gave it flavour ✨)

akaashi is definitely the therapist friend to so he gives great advice 

but if you don’t want his advice and you’d prefer him to just listen, then he can do that too 

honestly, he’d do basically anything to make you feel better 🥺

[uwuwriting]

Yandere ex w/ Midoriya and Bakugou

Request: Can I request some headcanons about Deku, Bakugou annnddd whoever else you'd like with reader and they are currently dating

Reaction to reaching you from your crazy ex boyfriend who is...very powerful and has managed to corner you, alone. You're scared, you're a civilian.

" oh shh. Don't cry baby, i'm here. Now that I'm here, you're all mine, now that you're done being silly. You and me forever"

( thought that'd get the creepy factor)

I'm just a sucker for rescue missions. I'm just so interested in how they'd approach that situation, how they'd comfort reader afterwards

Thank you. For reading this if you don't do this

Which is totally fine! - anonymous

Bruh rescue missions are just *chef’s kiss*. I’ve been having a mini Deku and Bakugou infatuation and I just wanna see more fics with these cuties and their civilian s/os. Like legit there aren’t enough fics with quirkless/civilian readers out there and I’m sad. Love ya.💖💖💖

masterlist II rules

warnings: stalking, attempted kidnapping, mentions of toxic past relationships, being chased, eventual fluff in the form of comfort, TW BEWARE. 

Midoriya Izuku/ Pro hero! Deku

-Izuku believed you were an angel walking on earth. 

-He met you in the brink of death *literally* when you stitched him up and stabbed an IV into his arm. 

-It was love at first sight for him tbh and he is proud to admit it too. 

-Soon enough -and after many many more visits to the hospital so he can be treated by dr. L/N- he asked you out and now you’re living together. 

-He knows about your ex and he hates him for what he did to you. 

-He has coaxed you into relaxing many nights after you’ve had terrible nightmares about your ex finding you again and this time not only putting your freedom on the line but also Izuku’s safety. 

-You know he is a pro hero and all but you can’t stop seeing him on your apartment floor, unmoving with your ex looming over him. 

-He is always there to chase that horrible darkness away and replace it with the warmth of his love. 

-So as time passed, thoughts of your ex became less and less frequent until they stopped popping up throughout the day all together and you were happy with that. 

-Then the universe decided that it should serve you with a good old traumatizing experience to spice things up. 

-You were walking home after your shift at the hospital was over, exhausted out of your mind when you felt the hairs at the back of your neck rise.

-It was like a sixth sense, knowing that something was up. 

- “Y/n-chan~”

-Your blood ran cold at the familiar voice, your mind going blank as you quickly fished out your phone dialing Izuku’s number while speeding up. 

- “Hey angel w-”

- “Izu he is here. H-he is f-following me.” 

-You heard his feet hitting the pavement on the other line as he ran down the busy street, completely forgetting about the patrol he was on. 

- “Where are you angel?”

-Sharing your location with him you took a sharp turn and into a convenience store, walking to the very back and hiding behind a few shelves, your eyes glazing over as you heard the sliding doors ding as your ex stepped inside not even a minute after you. 

-When did he get so close?

- “Izu please.” 

- “I’m almost there Y/N, I’ll protect you I promise.” 

-You held your breath as footsteps got closer, Izuku’s breathing keeping you grounded as they echoed through the other line. 

-Dipping behind another shelf you zigzagged through the aisles hoping to lose him as you slowly and quietly made your way to the entrance, your plan being to run outside and find Izuku. 

-Your plan though was cute short when an arm wrapped tightly around your waist bringing you flush with a sturdy chest, your ex’s head dipping into your hair and breathing in your scent in an exaggerated sniff. 

- “You like the chase Y/N-chan~? I’ve got you now.” 

-Izuku’s panicked voice could be heard coming from your phone as he listened to your ex talking to you. 

-A whimper of your actual boyfriend’s name left your lips in an attempt to get away from him but his grip on you tightened making a sob escape you as tears cascaded down your cheeks, too many awful memories of your past relationship flooding your mind. 

-You wanted your Izuku. 

- “Aww baby don’t cry. And my name isn’t Izuku so don’t make that silly little mistake again because it doesn’t make me happy when you call out other men’s names. I got you now and everything will be back to normal in no time. Just you and me my sweet Y/N.” 

-You thrashed around, your hands clawing at the arm wrapped around your waist and the other one that was holding your chin. 

-In your panic you didn’t even hear the ding of the store’s doors as your boyfriend stepped in, eyes immediately locking on your crying features and the outer fear in your eyes as you ex tried kissing your neck.  

-It took him mere seconds to untangle you from your ex’s grasp and pull you safely into his chest, a punch flying right into your attackers jaw as he fell to the floor with a loud thud. 

-His hands went immediately to cradle your head near his chest, rubbing soothing circles on your back as you sobs wracked through your body. 

- “Shh angel, it’s me I’m right here shh. He can’t hurt you Y/N.” 

-Police sirens echoed outside as a few officers poured through the double doors, Izuku scooping you up and taking you outside trudging the familiar road to your shared apartment. 

-You wouldn’t let go of his hero costume as he calmly set you on your shared bed, whispering to you that he was only going to the closet to help you both change. 

-It took him a lot of time to actually calm you down and when he managed it he called his agency to inform them that he would be taking the day off. 

-The only thing he could do after that was hold you as close to his chest as he possibly could, reassuring you that he wouldn’t be coming anywhere close to you from now on that he was officially gone. 

Bakugou Katsuki/ Pro Hero! Dynamight

-It was a stupid argument that escalated and now he found himself crashing at Kirishima’s. 

-You two hadn’t talked for about a week now and Bakugou feared that you had had enough of him and you would break up if he called. 

-He felt awful.

-He just wanted to go back home to you, kiss you, hug you, be back in his normal routine with the love of his life but no he had to be stubborn and push you to your limits with a silly argument that he doesn’t even remember what the fuck it was about. 

-It was the third sleepless night for him and he couldn’t stop his brain from drifting to you and what you might be doing. 

-You on the other hand were terrified out of your mind. 

-Not long after Katsuki stormed out of your apartment you had started getting texts from an unknown number saying things like “He is finally gone” and “Now we can be together again dolly.” 

-The nickname had sent shivers down your spine, memories of your toxic/yandere ex flooding your mind. 

-Katsuki had helped you run away from him and heal after those dark days. 

-Walking to the kindergarten you worked at became a constant threat.

-You were always looking behind your shoulder for anyone who might be following you, coming very close to calling Katsuki more than once when you thought that you had caught a whiff of your ex. 

-You began asking your coworkers to walk home with you using the excuse that it felt kinda lonely walking alone.

-Things reached a tipping point when the photos started coming in. 

-Photos of you in your class helping the kids, on your way to the station to catch your train every morning and even from inside your own house. 

-Photos of you putting on one of Katsuki’s hoodies was filled with manic scribbles of the word stop as a big red circle was drawn around your boyfriend’s sweatshirt. 

-It terrified you and you wanted nothing else than to call Katsuki and beg him to come back. 

-But despite it all your worthless pride and ego got in the way convincing you that you would fight your ex with your own two hands. 

-All those thoughts were tossed out the window when you heard your ex’s voice outside your apartment’s door on a late Friday night. 

- “Dolly open the door~” 

-In less than a second you had pushed the kitchen table in front of the door, your fingers hastily dialing Katsuki’s number, tears already streaming down your cheeks as your ex pounded at the front door, his voice and pleas becoming more and more aggressive as the seconds ticked by. 

-Two agonizing minutes passed before Bakugou answered, his gruff voice reaching your ears from the other line as he answered with a short “What”

- “Katsu please h-he is trying to get in. H-he is at the d-door. I-I don’t know what to do.” 

- “Baby lock yourself in our room and try to barricade the door. After that hide I’ll be there before you know it.”

-You could hear a door slamming shut and his hasty steps coming through the other line. 

-Doing as you were told you locked your bedroom door, pushing your dresser in front of it as more bangs came from the front door the legs of the kitchen table scraping the floor as the door almost rattled off its hinges. 

-Ducking underneath your bed you let out a few whines to which Katsuki answered with reassuring words. 

- “I’m almost there baby, I’ll save you. Fuck, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry baby. I should be home with you right now keeping you safe from that lunatic. I’m sorry I love you so much.” 

- “Katsu please hurry please. I-I’m so scared. Please.” 

- “I can see our building don’t worry-” 

-A loud thud came from the kitchen and only a few seconds later something rammed into the bedroom door ripping another whimper from your throat. 

- “Oh my god Katsu he’s in our house!!” 

- “Y/N, dolly, why are you making this so difficult my love? I just want” *thud* “to love you” *thud* “the way you” *thud* “DESERVE!”

-In one finally push your dresser was finally knocked over as the door creaked slightly open, your ex squeezing through the crack a laugh and a breathy moan of your name escaping his lips as he stepped inside.  

- “Katsuki I lo-” 

-The only thing that Katsuki could hear was your scream as he barreled up the stairs to your apartment. 

-He was gonna skin that bastard alive for hurting you and then he would skin himself alive for allowing this to happen. 

-He will never forget the look of pure terror in your eyes as you ex was pining you on the floor, your eyes darting through the room desperately searching for a way to escape this. 

-Katsuki tackled your assailant, straddling his waist as he let punch after punch connect with the bastard's face as you cowered to the far corner of the room. 

-After a few minutes of relentless punching your ex was knocked out cold while Katsuki was cradling you to his chest, rubbing circles onto your scalp as you sobbed in his chest. 

-You don’t remember much of what happened later, too exhausted to process anything and too comfortable in Katsuki’s arms as he led you to Kirishima’s house to spend the night. 

-He refused to take you to a hotel, he thought you would feel safer in a familiar environment. 

-Kiri left you two alone as Katsuki prepared a bath and a change of clothes. 

- “Katsu…” 

-His name left your lips as a mere whisper and it broke his heart. 

- “I can’t go back to our house...He had been in there….he had taken pictures I-I” 

- “Shh it’s alright. It was getting kinda small for us anyways. Shh Don’t worry about it.” 

- “I’m sorry Katsu, I’m so sorry.” 

-It would take a lot of hard work to build up your sense of safety and he knew it but he was ready to give it his all for you. 

- “No need to apologize baby. You know I would do anything for you and your safety and I’ll be here next to you now matter what. I love you and I will never stop. You kinda have my wrapped around your finger, woman.” 

-You let out a weak giggle followed by an “I love you” of your own and a little peck on the lips, as you snuggled close to him, his arms bringing you safely to his chest in a way to calm your nerves. 

-You really did have wrapped around your finger.

TAG TEAM AY:

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[multifandhoem]

fluids.

fluids. || Hanamaki Takahiro x Reader x Matsukawa Issei

A/N: Honestly, I don’t even know what to say about that one, apart from that I am deeply sorry and will see you all in hell. 

Genre: smut (pure filth)

Summary: Y/N wants to try something and being the perfect and willing friends, Matsukawa and Hanamaki help her with her problem.

Warnings: where do I even begin   cursing, cum eating, threesome, butt stuff (lots of butt stuff), a lot of toys, double penetration, spitting, slight humiliation, slight slut shaming, spanking, oral giving and receiving, dom!Matsukawa, dom!Hanamaki, sub!Reader, mentions of MxM, lots of fingering, have I mentioned toys?

Word count: 7.406

Hanamaki and Matsukawa were your best friends for years. You trusted them with your life. So why were you so nervous just at the thought of asking them that dreaded question.

You were currently in their shared apartment, a place you visited quite regularly due to your horrible roommate in your college dorm. You were all spread over their three-seater couch, a generous donation of Mattsun’s aunt after all cheaper couches were way too small for the former volleyball players who by now were pretty close to the 190 cm mark.

“You’ve been uncharacteristically quiet today.”

You flinched a bit, and it would have been unnoticeable, if you weren’t laying across their laps, with your head on Makki’s thigh and your thighs over Mattsun’s. The former only raised his eyebrows at your reaction at his question and Mattsun soon joined him in his questioning glare. Suddenly feeling cornered you shrunk a bit under their gaze, clearing your throat quietly.

“It’s nothing.”

Makki’s eyebrows rose even higher and you desperately tried avoiding his eyes, finally sitting up, successfully eliminating your physical contact with them.

“Yah, what’s up with you?” Mattsun looked legitimately concerned, his eyebrows nearly meeting in the middle.

“You shouldn’t make a face like that or it’ll stay.” He rolled his eyes at your teasing, while you mustered a grin, standing upright after. “I just need to take a piss, no need to worry!” With that you sauntered off to the bathroom, hoping that they would’ve forgotten that awkward conversation when you got back.

You didn’t need to pee at all. You just stood there in front of the mirror, not believing your own stupidity. How could you even think about asking that question? How could you even think about them in that context? An exasperated sigh left your lips. Hopefully, they wouldn’t press on the matter further.

For good measure, you pressed on the flush and washed your hands, so they wouldn’t be suspicious.

“When you’re already standing you can bring me another beer!” Hanamaki waved his empty bottle in your direction with a grin and you felt relief washing over you. They decided to drop it, thank god. “Wait, wait!” Mattsun reached for his bottle on the table, finishing the remains in three large gulps before extending the bottle your way, too. “Just be thankful I feel guilty for crashing here so often!” You rolled your eyes with a grin but reached for their bottles anyways. On your way to the kitchen, you heard Mattsun’s loud burp behind you, commented with a deep laugh that could only belong to your light-haired friend. “Gross!” You commented while taking new cool bears out of the fridge, putting new ones in from the stack of beer crates, conveniently located right next to it.

It wasn’t really that much of a deal though, was it? You were back in your previous position and again the thoughts invaded your mind. They were your best friends. And they were on their third beer over the course of like two hours, so they had a bit of alcohol in their blood but weren’t drunk. You always felt comfortable around them. And even if you didn’t, they made sure you were loosening up soon enough.

The episode of the sports anime you originally convinced them to watch was forgotten, you just had to watch it at home to be up to date again. Should you just ask them? Maybe you shouldn’t have stopped after your second beer. Maybe you would have more courage then.

“You guys are bi, right?” Both heads turned to you in an instant. “That’s what you were so worked up over?” Makki sounded downright appalled, expecting something much bigger than that. “I thought you knew that?” Mattsun sounded as unbelieving as his friend, both paying no mind to the show anymore, just watching you squirm again.

It was uncomfortable under their stares, but at the same time, touching both of them made you feel a bit more confident.

“No, I mean, I knew that but… that means you both have experience with guys, right?” Your eyes were focused on your hands on your stomach fidgeting away. “Yes, we fucked a couple of times if that’s what you’re asking.” Mattsun’s dry answer made you shoot up in shock, nearly hitting Makki in the chin on the way. “What? No, that was NOT what I was asking! You did what? When?” That was an outcome you really didn’t anticipate. Makki laughed behind you, apparently finding your reaction incredibly amusing.

“Why are you asking, princess, wanna join in?”

That was not what you had planned at all. You felt your face heating up, eyes fixated on the old hardwood floor. “Fuck, you do?” You don’t think you have ever seen Mattsun’s eyes as wide as they are now.

“NO. I mean kind of. I mean not really. I didn’t even know you two fucked!” You were waving your hands around nervously, still avoiding eye contact.

“Okay, okay. Let’s calm down for a second. Take a sip and then tell us what you’ve been thinking about.” Makki seemed equally as surprised as Mattsun (and as you, tbh), but still tried to take control over the situation, handing you his beer bottle.

“It’s just… with you being bi and having experience with guys… you have tried anal, right?” Your face was burning with embarrassment at this point. You were nervously clutching the bottle, rolling it around in your hands, completely missing the look the other two shared.

“Yeah, what about it?” Mattsun scooted a bit closer, trying to make his voice as soft as possible, to not stir your nervousness even more.

“I have never really tried it. I mean I haven’t had a serious boyfriend in the last years, you know that but I’m really curious and I kind of tried it, but I didn’t really work, and I kind of want advice.” Your voice kept going quieter in the end and you still couldn’t bring yourself to lift your head.

Makki cleared his throat. “Verbal or physical advice?” You bit your lip. Now or never. “I don’t know.” You were a wimp. “Look at us, princess.”

Both of them had serious expressions on their face when you finally met their eyes, but they were in no way angry or disgusted. Thank god.

“I mean, I totally get why you’re curious, but if you tried it and it didn’t really work, maybe you don’t like it?” Mattsun offered you a small smile, but you just shook your head wildly. “All my friends say it’s great. And I don’t even know if I tried it correctly. I didn’t do any research or something like that. That’s why I want advice!” You began talking faster again, flaying your hands wildly in the air and nearly making a mess, if Makki hadn’t taken the bottle out of your grasp right before. His fingers remained around your wrist, slowly taking your hand in his. “Stay calm, princess, we’re not judging you. What did you try exactly?” You could see the slight blush on his cheeks when he asked that question and seeing him a bit nervous made you feel a bit better.

“Just a bit fingering. I mean I tried, but it didn’t even go in.” Makki smiled a bit at the way you whined, giving your hand a reassuring squeeze. “Did you use enough lube?” You turned to him with wide eyes. “I didn’t use any.” Mattsun let out a scandalous gasp. “Oh god, princess, of course, it didn’t really work. Lube is like the most important part of anal play!”

A blush adorned your cheeks once again. “I don’t have any at home, I usually don’t need it.” Both their eyebrows rose high at your statement and you buried your face in your hands.

“Okay. If I understand that correctly, you want us to try anal with you.” It was more of a statement than a question, but you nodded, face still immerged in your hands.

“Okay. Okay.” Mattsun sounded a bit overwhelmed with the situation. “We can’t really do anything today. We ate a lot of ramen like two hours ago and drank beer. And trust me, doing butt stuff after eating is not the perfect way. Especially not for your first time.” Maybe you were reading him wrong.

“Come here, princess.” They pulled you on their laps again and you finally looked them in the eyes again. “No need to be ashamed anymore, okay? I mean we’re down for it. You got a cute butt.” Makki grinned at you in a way that made you immediately feel more at ease, but the following pinch to your butt made you yelp in surprise. They both laughed and after a short moment, you joined them as well.

Why were you even worried? They were your best friends. You have nothing to be ashamed of in front of them. They have done way more embarrassing things in front of you for there to be any kind of space for shame.

“We shouldn’t do much today, but we could still set some guidelines, are you okay with that?” Mattsun had scooted all the way over to Makki, you being perched on one of each of their thighs. “Guidelines?”, you echoed dumbly, turning your head to look him in the eyes. “Yeah, well, anal is a very sexual thing. So it obviously has to be sexually enjoyable. And if we would know what you like beforehand, it would kind of help!” He grinned wickedly at you, hands finding their place at your hips, thumbs softly caressing the skin between your sweatpants and your shirt.

“Oh.” Oh. You didn’t really think that far. Of course, it was something sexual. It is called anal sex for fucks sake. You knew it was something sexual. But still, the topic of the conversation together with you being on their laps made a blush rise to your cheeks again.

“Don’t be shy, princess.” You felt Makki shift a bit, leaning forward until his lips were on your neck, nipping lightly at the soft skin.

“Well, I don’t really like being in control.” You finally brought some words over your lips, feeling Makki’s lips change into a grin at your neck.

“Wouldn’t have guessed that the way you were practically begging both of us to train your asshole.” Mattsun’s amused words sent a shiver down your spine. You couldn’t deny that this situation turned you on a bit.

A whimper escaped you when Makki bit down on a particularly sensitive spot and both boys chuckled behind you. “You should come next Friday. And stay for the weekend. Is that alright?” His tone was surprisingly casual. Weren’t they affected in any way? “That works for me,” you still answered softly.

“Perfect. Why don’t you turn around for us, princess?” Mattsun pinched your hips in an invitational manner and you got up to straddle their thighs right afterward.

“Are you alright with kissing?” Each one had a hand on your thigh, Makki’s even laying right under the curve of your butt.

“What kind of question is that? I want you to put something in my ass, of course, I’m alright with kissing!” They chuckled at your answer before Makki leaned forward to capture your lips with his. It was soft at first. Not a lot of tongue. He cautiously tested your boundaries, starting with little pecks, and working his way up to a slow and sensual kiss.

Mattsun’s hands had begun roaming your body, pinching and grabbing everywhere, but never on any of the places where you wanted him.

That was until Makki straight up grabbed your ass to pull you closer towards their bodies. A surprised gasp escaped you and he used that to deepen the kiss, practically ravishing your mouth. Mattsun by now has moved on under your shirt, his rough fingers caressing your sensitive sides, making you shiver in the process. Soon his hands started kneading your breasts over your bra and you moaned in Makki’s mouth when they suddenly both retreated. You whined at your loss, eyes switching between them pleadingly.

“Look at you,” Mattsun cooed, his hand moving up to squish your cheeks slightly together. “We haven’t really done anything and you’re already so desperate.”

He then leaned towards you, kissing you for the first time himself. His lips were softer than Makki’s, but he used more force, pressing his tongue into your mouth almost immediately. But there were no roaming hands this time. And Mattsun soon leaned back again, a thin trail of saliva connecting your lips.

“We shouldn’t go too far today. But it’s good that you’re comfortable kissing us. We should keep that going at least until Friday. You alright with that?” You nodded at Makki’s words, still trying to process what they were saying.

Were they just going to leave you high and dry? Okay, they didn’t know you were so turned on, just by the talk about sex and that bit of kissing. And you would not tell them. This encounter was already embarrassing enough, you didn’t need to give them, even more, to tease you about.

You nodded again, moving into a less straining, and less sexual position from straddling their thighs to just sitting sideways over their laps, leaning against Makki’s broad chest.

“On Friday… please shower beforehand.” Mattsun’s words startled you a bit. “Like, should I clean inside? How do I do that?” You were so clueless about anything anal related, it was kind of amusing to the two guys. “You don’t have to clean the inside. And we can help you with that, too, we have some water enemas, but they shouldn’t be used too regularly, please remember that. But for Friday just making sure that you are clean on the outside is enough.” Mattsun rubbed comforting circles on your thighs, explaining everything in a calm voice.

You relaxed a bit at his words, leaning back down against Makki.

“Don’t forget, there’s no need to be nervous. We’re always happy to help!” Makki pressed a kiss on the crown of your head. “Especially with sexual things!” Mattsun added with a perverted grin, pinching your inner thigh again.

“Do you usually like being praised or being talked down onto?” Apparently, they haven’t quite left the topic of what you like in the bedroom.

“Ehm, I mean, usually more talking down, to be honest, but with something I’ve never done before I’m not so sure…” You knew you shouldn’t be nervous. They were so understanding and willing to help you, they wouldn’t judge you for something like this. But you still couldn’t help your face flaring up again.

Both of them nodded with a knowing smile, seemingly already scheming a plan on how to handle you in a couple of days.

“It’s alright, princess, we will be careful with you. Now let’s go to bed, we have class in the morning. Do you wanna sleep with me or with Makki?” Mattsun carefully repositioned your legs when he stood up, leaning down to press another kiss to your lips, and one on Makki’s right afterward with a sly grin on his face.

You stayed quiet. How could you choose now? “Let’s all sleep in my bed,” Makki finally ruled after you hadn’t said anything for a couple of seconds, avoiding eye contact during that time. You shot him a thankful smile before climbing off his lap and getting dragged by Mattsun towards the bathroom.

You stayed the night more often than not, already having a toothbrush and the most important toiletries on a space reserved just for you over the sink. Usually, you would sleep on the couch, though.

“About time.” Mattsun grinned at you and extended his arms in your direction when you finally emerged from the bathroom after removing your makeup and doing a very small skincare routine. They had left you after you all brushed your teeth, waiting for you on Makki’s king-sized bed, with a spot reserved for you in the middle.

Both pressed small kisses to your face when you laid down in between them, making you giggle. “Night, Makki. Night, Mattsun.” You mumbled when you all had found a comfortable sleeping position. “You should call us by our first names, you know?” Oh right, that actually made sense.

“Night, Hiro. Night, Issei.” You corrected yourself with a smile and after their chorus of ‘Night, Y/N.’ the room became quiet.

They had managed to make you feel comfortable every time you saw them. But now that it was Friday and you were standing in front of their door, every ounce of nervousness came back. With shaky fingers you pressed on the doorbell, hearing it echoing from inside. It did not take very long for Hiro to appear in the doorway, a bright smile on his face, and a kitchen towel over his shoulder.

“Hi, princess!” He tugged you towards him in an instant, leaning down with puckered lips. With a small chuckle, you kissed him, your nerves immediately feeling calmed down after experiencing his carefree attitude. “We were just doing some dishes, do you want something to drink?” He leads you towards the kitchen where Issei was positioned by the sink, yellow gloves on his hands, washing the last set of plates that were probably resting on the countertop for the last couple of days.

The scene was strangely normal, apart from the kiss you two shared again after he ditched the gloves and could snake his arms around you.

Well, what did you expect? It’s not as if they would jump on you as soon as you entered. You made yourself a glass of water, eagerly gulping it down to soothe your dry throat.

Hiro didn’t take long finishing drying the dishes and soon you found him pressed against your back. “Let’s go to the bedroom, okay, princess?” You could only nod, taking Issei’s hand and following him towards his bedroom. It was uncharacteristically clean, and the bed was even made, a sight you have not seen in the three years those two occupied the apartment.

“Don’t be nervous, okay? We can stop anytime you want.” Hiro appeared behind you, his hands on your hip and lips pressed into your neck.

“I want this.” Were you trying to convince them or yourself? You didn’t know, but it worked, either way, a small feeling of excitement spreading in your stomach when Issei kissed you.

Being caged between your two best friends was never a position you imagined yourself being in (or realistically imagined) but here you were.

Your hands moved up to tangle themselves in Issei’s dark locks, him slightly moaning into your mouth when you tugged a bit too hard. His hands moved under your shirt kneading your breasts, while Hiro’s hands already dipped a bit into the front of your pants, fingers fiddling with the zipper and it didn’t take long until you were left without any clothes on.

“Look at you! Dressing up all pretty for us?” They appreciatively let their eyes wander over your body, only clad by a black lingerie set.

You felt incredibly exposed, with them still being fully clothed and looking at you so hungrily.

“Damn, you have great tits!”, Hiro exclaimed when pushing the lace covering your breasts down, immediately taking them into his hands for good measure. He let out a deep groan and Issei soon joined him, lips latching onto your right breast, gently nipping on the sensitive flesh.

You didn’t know what to do with your hands, shyly caressing their arms, lightly dipping into their sleeves to feel their biceps under your hands. “Take them off, please?”

In your mind, you scolded yourself for how unsure you seemed, but those thoughts were quickly erased when they both complied, exposing their toned torsos.

“Do you wanna lay on the bed, princess?” Hiro phrased it as a question but there was an unspoken command. You made a step towards the bed behind them, Issei quickly undoing the clasp of your bra when you passed them to obey Hiro’s command. “On your stomach.”

Quickly you corrected your position, your hands lying next to your head.

Butterfly kisses were pressed onto your naked shoulder blades, four hands roaming your back, butt, and thighs continuously.

“You’re very tense.” You didn’t know what to answer to that, only muttering a quiet apology. Your words got lost in a moan, when suddenly a finger was pressed to your core, playing with your vagina through the lace fabric of your panties.

You tried grinding back onto the finger, but strong hands held your hips in place, both boys chuckling at your exasperated whine. Your underwear got pushed to the side and soon the finger was back, slightly toying at your entrance.

“Oh, I know now why you said you don’t need any lube. Hiro, fuck, look at that. She is wet wet!” A second finger joined, and Hiro chuckled surprised, moving some of your slick around and towards your clit, loosely rubbing the bundle of nerves.

“Lift up your ass for a second.” You obeyed and soon you were completely bare in front of them, one hand still toying at your vagina, while two others were caressing your butt, spreading your cheeks and groping the flesh in a rough but still kind of soft manner. That was, until a slap echoed through the room, combined with the moan that escaped you as you felt the impact a hand with your butt. “I knew you would enjoy that.” Hiro sounded incredibly smug, repeating is former action a bit harder and on the other cheek. Again, a moan escaped you, trying once more to grind back into their hands, again to no avail.

“You really are quite a horny slut, aren’t you?” Issei’s mouth was extremely close to your core and you shuddered when you felt his breath over your lower lips.

“Raise your hips again?” You immediately did as you were told, feeling a pillow being stuffed under your hipbone to raise your hips permanently.

The finger, that has been rubbing very slow circles on your clit, disappeared, but soon enough your legs were spread. The cool air hitting your wetness was a tease in itself, but it was right away replaced by a hungry tongue, lapping up your juices. Hiro reappeared in your field of vision, connecting your lips again, to muffle the moans that were escaping you.

Issei’s nose was pressing into your vagina, his lips, tongue, and teeth relentlessly working on your clit.

“Please, please, I’m going to come!” It was embarrassing, really, how fast your best friend was able to bring you to that point. “Already?” Issei was less surprised, more smug when he suddenly pushed two fingers inside you and latched onto your clit again.

“Come on, princess.” Hiro slapped your ass again and with a loud moan, you released onto Issei’s mouth, who greedily lapped up everything you offered him.

“Well, you look a lot more relaxed, now!” You could hear the teasing out of his voice when he reemerged from between your legs, tongue slipping out to get the rest of your glistening arousal. You were a lot more relaxed now, still panting from your orgasm, that you didn’t even flinch when a huge drop of lube got placed on your lower back. And your asscheeks. Four hands were immediately on your backside, massaging your cheeks and lower back in a slow and sensual way, getting small moans from you as a response. After a couple of minutes, your cheeks got spread, another dollop of lube falling right in the center.

A finger softly began massaging it into the area around your puckered hole and soon, more lube was added.

You were incredibly nervous. But both of their hands on your backside was kind of comforting. And when a kiss was pressed onto your shoulder blades you relaxed with a shaky exhale.

“You’re doing so good, princess.” Issei pressed another kiss on your back and you whimpered a bit as a response. “Hand me the vibe, will you?” Hiro’s words made Issei sit up again, his lips leaving your skin. Vibe? What vibe?

Your question soon got answered when a small buzzing sound started, and the silicon bullet got pressed lightly against your hole. “Oh,” you gasped, hips jerking for a second but again some hands stopped you. And then a finger found its way back towards your clit, circling it again. Hiro was alternating his fingers and the small vibrator at your asshole, continuously adding more lube and sometimes pressing harder, but still keeping everything fairly light.

It was feeling really pleasurable and the next time he pressed the vibe harder against your hole, you couldn’t hold back the small moan anymore.

Hiro cooed at the way your asshole clenched around nothing, tentatively pressing a tip of his finger inside. You moaned when his digit passed the rim. It didn’t hurt at all, like that time you tried it by yourself. Apparently, lube really was the savior. Or it was your best friends, who have been patient and soft with you all the way through, gently leading you to this moment. More lobe got added to your hole and Hiro’s finger disappeared, but reentering you more slicked up just after a second. He still only put the tip of his finger inside, slightly wiggling it around before replacing it with the vibrator again.

“You look really good with my finger in your ass. And Issei’s working your pussy. Is that why you asked two of us? You want to take it so far to get double penetrated, take each of us in a different hole?” You knew it was only dirty talk. He was trying to take your mind off the slight stretch of your ass when he pushed his finger in deeper. But you couldn’t help the way you desperately moaned at the comment.

“Oh? Look at your hole twitching!” Issei sounded incredibly amused, his finger moving from toying with your clit to your vagina, which was clenching around nothing. “You like that thought? Every hole of you filled with another cock? Maybe we should ask Iwaizumi or Oikawa to join, too. So that you can be stuffed like the little whore you are!”

With another moan you tried to move your hips once again, this time successfully burying Hiro’s finger deeper in your ass. A slap to your cheek was the immediate answer. “Impatient slut. Better behave or we won’t be so gentle anymore!”

You nodded shakily, already feeling full by the finger in your ass and one at the entrance of your pussy.

But Hiro soon pulled out again, dropping even more lube on your now slightly looser hole, before the small bullet vibrator came into action again. You moaned loudly when it got pressed into your hole, slightly wider than Hiro’s finger it was still a stretch.

“I love your ass. It looks really cute like this.” Accommodating his words Issei pressed a kiss to your left buttcheek.

Hiro still worked the vibrator in your ass, fingers massaging the flesh around your rim. “I’m going to plug you soon, you alright with that?” You could only nod, desperate for more friction. You asked for gentle and slow. But you wanted to come again. And, as embarrassing as it was to admit, you loved it when they talked down on you, ordering you around.

You felt his lubed up pinky join the vibrator in your hole and moaned again when suddenly both vanished and got replaced by a cold metal object. “She’s going to look so pretty!” Issei rubbed your clit a bit harder, while the cold object got greased up in the juices around your hole.

Another drop of lube followed when Hiro finally began pushing it into your ass. You soon realized what it was, a small plug, thinner at the tip but wider in the middle.

The widest part was a bit bigger than every other thing you have taken in your hole so far, but it still didn’t hurt, just a tight stretch, but with the lube and the fingers massaging your lower back, it went in without a big hassle.

“You look so good, do you wanna take a look at yourself?” You nodded and turned around, finally seeing your two friends again. Issei immediately tugged you onto his lap, pressing your back against his chest and turning towards his closet, where a huge mirror adored one door.

And there, right between your buttcheeks, rested a jeweled plug. You moaned again at the sight and at the proud grin that was on both of their faces. Issei reached down, pressing his palm against the red jewel, slightly wiggling it inside. You threw your head back on his shoulder, grasping his wrist to press it closer against your core, nearly humping his arm in desire. “Now, now, no need to get ahead of yourself,” Hiro intervened, taking your hands from Issei’s arm. “If you beg nicely, we give you something you can fuck yourself on.” His grin was downright evil and it got even worse, when he pressed the vibrator from before against the plug, making it move inside you.

“Please, please, Hiro, Issei, please, I really want to come!” There were tears prickling in your eyes. The constant stimulation at your ass felt good, but it was nothing you could orgasm from. You needed something in your vagina. Something that fucks you, preferably.

“You know, maybe if you crawl a bit on your knees, it would help.” Your eyes went wide at Issei’s words, but obediently you slipped from his lap, getting on your knees in front of them. You crawled towards the door on all fours, hearing them groan behind you. “You know what we should invest in? A tail plug.” The thought of them making you literally your pet excited you, again clenching around nothing, but still wishing something was filling your other hole, too.

“Sit on my lap again.” Your back was once again pressed against Issei’s naked chest, your legs being kept open by his strong thighs. “Here, princess.” Hiro’s eyes caught yours in the mirror and with a playful smile, he handed you a medium-sized purple dildo. “Fuck yourself.” The command was simple. But you still hesitated. You never masturbated in front of somebody else before. It seemed kind of humiliating. But that thought was it, that made arousal shoot to your core once again. And with a firm nod, you lined the dildo up your entrance, slowly easing it inside.

Leaning your head back on Issei’s shoulder you began moving it inside your core, pleasure slowly filling your body with each thrust. “Look at us, princess.” You raised your head again, eyes meeting theirs in the mirror, fastening your pace and letting moans escape you.

A small cry left your lips once you found that special spot inside you, eyes rolling to the back of your head as your movements became sloppier. On the one hand, you were desperately chasing your orgasm, but on the other hand, the pleasure was too much to have much control over your movements anymore. You cried for relief, when suddenly another hand closed around the dildo, continuing your thrusts with new harsh ferocity.

“I said, look at us!” Hiro growled in your ear, pushing the toy harder into you. After you took too long to react Issei closed a hand around your neck, pressing at the sides and forcing you to face the mirror again. It was a downright sinful picture. You were completely fucked out, so close to your orgasm, being chocked by one man and fucked with a purple dildo by the other.

With a cry you let your orgasm wash over you, clenching around both toys stuck inside you while throwing your head back on Issei’s shoulder once again.

“Fuck, you look filthy.” With a chuckle Issei broke the silence, his hand slowly falling from your neck again. “Let’s get you cleaned up, princess.” With a smile Hiro fell to his knees in front of you, slowly tugging the dildo out of you. Next, it was the small plug. You groaned at the overstimulation, hips twitching.

“I don’t wanna. Can take more!”, you mumbled, trying to sit yourself up straight. With raised eyebrows Hiro shoved two of his fingers inside your asshole again, chuckling at the way you winced. “Yeah, keep telling yourself that. You’re here for the whole weekend, we don’t have to wreck you on the first day.” Issei got up with you in his arms, slowly carrying you towards the bathroom and filling the tub with water.

“But what about you?” Your eyes were big, trailing to their respective bulges in their sweatpants. “You wanna suck us off while we wait for the water?” Issei was gentle with you, setting you down on the soft mat in front of the tub, softly caressing your cheek. You nodded wildly and amused both men pushed their sweatpants lower.

You first took Issei in your hand, your tongue trailing up and down on his dick, wetting it before finally enveloping it with your mouth. A rough groan escaped him and his fingers weaved themselves into your hair, slightly fucking into your mouth when Hiro’s tip bumped against your cheek. You looked up and were immediately greeted with another groan. “Fucking hell, princess, keep looking at me!” Despite Issei’s words, you took his dick out of your mouth, moving on to Hiro, while jacking Issei’s now thoroughly wet dick off with your right hand. Hiro’s cock was a bit smaller and thinner than Issei’s and you couldn’t help but remember his words from before. Having both of them fill you at the same time was a new sexual fantasy that manifested itself in your mind in the last hour.

“Who knows, maybe tomorrow it will be in your ass.” He seemed to read your mind and you couldn’t help but moan again at the thought, the vibrations sending waves of pleasure up his spine.

You switched again back to Issei, who immediately started softly fucking your mouth, chasing his high. “Come on, princess.” Hiro groaned, taking over from your hand and jacking himself off even faster than you had done it before. You gagged around Issei’s cock, tears falling from your eyes but still desperately trying to please him. They made you come twice today. It was only fair you gave some back.

With a final moan, Issei pulled out of your mouth releasing himself all over your face, partly inside your mouth. “Keep your mouth open.” Hiro’s command was harsh, and his breathing labored. He was close, too. So you turned towards him, Issei’s cum still swimming inside your mouth, cheeks painted a delicious white.

Hiro managed to release most of his load inside your mouth, but he still got some spurts over your face and in your hair.

Panting both boys looked down at you, cooing at how cute you looked with their cum all over your face. “Swallow,” Issei instructed, holding your chin between his fingers. The mix of their seamen left a salty taste in your mouth, when you opened it again, to show them that you swallowed every last drop. With a groan, Hiro began scooping up the rest of the cum on your face and pushing it into your mouth. “You’re a cute little slut, aren’t you? Our slut.” With that possessive mark, he leaned down, letting his spit drop into your mouth, which was still held open by Issei, who repeated the action.

Their gazes on you were proud as you swallowed that second load also.

“You were great, princess.” Hiro was pressing kisses on the top of your breasts. All of you squeezed into the tub, washing each other carefully with a loofah they apparently got only for today. “Should we order some food?” You just nodded, leaning back onto Issei contently. “Wanna eat you.”

Hiro’s eyebrows rose and you felt Issei chuckle behind you. “You’re insatiable, aren’t you?”

“And here I was, wanting to be lenient since it’s your first time trying anal. But oh well. You asked for it, princess.” With a broad grin, Hiro heaved you out of the tub, haphazardly drying you both off with a towel, before both men were already leading you back to the bedroom.

You soon found yourself back in your previous position with your hips perched on top of the pillow and Issei’s fingers buried deep in your still stretched ass. The main difference was the vibrator stuck in your pussy and that you were trying not to choke on Hiro’s cock.

“Keep your legs open, princess. I will not hesitate to use a spreader bar.” The casual mention of the utensil made you wonder just how many sex toys those two had. Four of them were already used on you, but Hiro had told you that they started with the smallest plug, hinting at a bigger assortment.

“We really wanted to go easy on you, princess.” Issei sighed in mock sadness, quickening the pace of his two fingers, making you cry around Hiro’s cock. “But you just had to be even more filthy than we expected.” A harsh slap met your left asscheek.

“We already knew you were perverted since you didn’t ask one of us, but both to help you with your problem.” Next was your right cheek. Hiro gathered your hair in one hand, tugging it back harshly to start fucking your mouth right away, making your saliva drip down from his cock and onto the bedsheets. Your hands desperately clawed themselves into his thighs while Issei still wrecked you from behind.

“You think you can take a third one?” Issei didn’t wait for you to answer his question, before dropping more lube onto your asshole, slowly easing his ring finger into your loosened hole. His other hand pushed the vibrating dick in your vagina even deeper and you had never felt as full as you did at that moment. The cry that you let out around Hiro’s dick showed them that you were close to coming, so, in a matter of seconds, everything was gone.

“No! Please, please let me cum!” Tears streamed down your face and if your mascara wasn’t already be rolling down your face due to the seamen shower you took earlier it certainly would now.

“Aww, you’re looking so cute all desperate and shit. Completely wrecked but still crying for more.” Hiro took your face in one hand, squishing your cheeks together in the process.

Issei resumed his actions at your backside, this time not entering you with this finger, but another object. Another dildo you presumed. It wasn’t really that thick, so it was comfortable to have in you, but it was long. And when it started vibrating, every ounce of strength left your body, hands falling down onto the mattress, face only being held up by Hiro’s hand.

“Do you want to fuck her, or should I go?” The way they talked so casually about your body, like it was only another fucktoy, like the multiple ones they had lying around, made arousal shoot to your core, electing a desperate whimper from your lips.

“You can go, I don’t mind having her mouth. Besides, we have tomorrow and Sunday, too. I mean unless our little princess still hasn’t had enough?” Hiro’s voice was teasing, his fingers around your chin tilting your head up to make you look into his eyes.

“How desperate are you for our cocks, huh?”

“Please, please. I want it, I want your cocks, please, Issei, Hiro.” You were just babbling, hoping that it would be enough for them to finally fuck you.

You couldn’t believe that this encounter started off so soft, with them carefully massaging you, when they were now slapping your ass with each movement, spitting on you and talking to you like you were a slut.

But you wouldn’t have it any other way.

“Such a desperate princess. Well, since it’s still kind of your first time, we will give you what you want. But just know that it won’t come as easy the next times.” With that Issei finally rammed his cock into your waiting pussy and you cried out his name in pleasure, being rewarded by a harsh slap on your ass in an instant. Hiro shoved his cock back into your mouth, taking up a harsh pace immediately, slapping your hands down as soon as you wanted to take a hold of his thighs again.

“No hands.” He told you and you desperately tried to keep your head up for him to fuck your mouth all while Issei started moving the vibrator in your ass in the same rhythm he fucked into you.

It didn’t take long for you to come, the continuous stimulation with the thought of being used in every possible hole being enough for you. But they weren’t done.

Their pace didn’t slow down a bit, Hiro only going back to holding your face up for him. You could see in his eyes that he was not happy at all with your failure and you were sure you would encounter punishment for that soon enough. He spat down on your face again, spit mixing with the tears from your eyes, as his dick repeatedly hit the back of your throat.

“Fucking hell, your pussy is swallowing me whole, feels so good, come on, princess, just a bit more.”

Issei was groaning behind you, thrusts becoming sloppier by the second. Still, Hiro was the one finishing first, releasing on your face for the second time that night.

Once he let go of your head you immediately fell down onto the mattress, still being fucked harshly by Issei, who kept on moving the dildo in your ass. You felt another high approaching and apparently, they did too, since Issei started slamming into you even harsher. But when Hiro moved to rub your clit, you were screaming their names, body twitching, and hands clawing into the bedsheet.

You were sure you never came so hard in your life. Everything went numb for a second, but you realized what was going on, when the dildo got pulled out of your ass, leaving an empty feeling behind.

“You alright there, princess?” A soft hand weaved itself into your hair, turning your head to look at the two men who just showed you heaven on earth. You hadn’t even realized that Issei came as well, but the feeling of something dribbling out of your vagina was explained that way.

“You look so good, princess.” Hiro leaned down to press a kiss to your lips, fingers pushing a bit of his come into your mouth right after he detached himself. “Let’s take another bath, you seem to need it even more than before.”

Their hands were all over you, softly caressing every inch of your body, cleaning every last drop of spit, come and lube. “You looked so beautiful, all wrecked beneath us. And you did so well, too! I honestly didn’t expect you to take us this well on the first day.”

They were muttering continuous praises, making you feel all soft on the inside.

“Pizza is here!” You were nearly nodding off in Issei’s arms, blinking slowly as the words were whispered in your ear.

Hiro was missing from your other side, apparently retrieving said pizza, which the boys insisted on ordering, especially after you admitted to not having consumed any solid foods that day, to be extra clean for them.

Soon Hiro came crawling back into his bed, handing each of you their respective pizza. Sitting up, you felt a shoot of pain from your butt and winced. “Sore?” The grin on Hiro’s face was entirely too wide to be sorry. Stupid piece of shit.

If someone would look at you now, three friends sitting on a bed and eating pizza, while a stupid reality show played in the background, nobody would even think twice about it. Nobody would expect, that just a bit earlier, in the other bedroom across the hall, you were absolutely wrecked by them.

But you wouldn’t want it any other way, excitement already bubbling up in your stomach with anticipation for the days to come.

[jesswritesthat]

omg hi i know this request sounds a bit hefty but hear me out: you’ve got y/n, and you’ve got her twin. they’re both exchange students but their school somehow messed up the application or there wasn’t enough space in one school whatever, so one of them ends up in nekoma and the other in shiratorizawa. then, they each decide to be the managers of that school’s respective teams. and then when training camp comes up, they finally meet each other again and are happy to be together but the rest of the teams are SHOOK (including their own maybe 👀👀) bc they didn’t tell their teams they had a twin. bonus points, inarizaki is there and the miya twins try to flirt w them (ships are up to you bc tbh anything sounds fun asf, idk i’ve had this idea in my head for so long IM AN ONLY CHILD I DONT EVEN HAVE A TWIN FKDKSKSKS) idk if you wanna just do headcannons go for it babes it’s a lot i know lmaooo

This is genius!! Omg, I’m not a twin either but I’m VIBING with this idea — I did headcanons because there was so muuchhh. I hope you like 💕

(T/n) = twins (first) name

>>>>—————————>

(L/n) Twins going to seperate schools and reuniting during a Shiratorizawa vs Nekoma practice match and Nationals:

• Due to unfortunate circumstances, (L/n) (T/n) had gotten into Shiratorizawa however, her twin sister (L/n) (Y/n) had to attend another school - luckily Nekoma had last minute vacancies.

• You stayed in Tokyo whilst your twin lived in the Shiratorizawa Dorms, it made seeing each other tricky but you always had video chats and since you were identical, it was easy to sneak into the dorms and stay for the weekend.

• You both loved Volleyball and had looked into your respective teams, (T/n) having the more famous one begrudgingly but being siblings... things got competitive.

“I’m going to become the manager of Shiratorizawa and I’m gonna take them to Nationals~” Was your twins cheery statement, whilst you playfully taunted her.

“Hah, more like they’ll take you, if I join Nekoma I’ll actually be useful.”

“No way - I’m a better manager than you (Y/n)!”

“Oh yeah?! Bring it on (T/n)! I’ll see you at Nationals - if you make it!” Thus, the challenge had begun.

• Nekoma and yourself had bonded, you’d heard the same about (T/n) and Shiratorizawa, it was like fate had gifted you your perfect matches in the end. Even if it meant being separated.

• It was around your second year with them that you’d heard about Karasuno, the once- upon-a-time rivals of Nekoma and how they’d organised a practice game with them over in Miyagi.

• You’d be playing other teams in the district to make it more beneficial... which is where your scheming came in.

“Hey, Tetsurō Senpai...”

“What do you want, you’re only ever so cute when you want something from me.”

“That’s not true! (Y/n)-chan is cute all of the time!” Yamamoto playfully punched his Captains shoulder, the latter reluctantly agreeing with a flush before clearing his throat and gesturing for you to continue.

“Think we could play Shiratorizawa whilst we’re over in Miyagi?”

“I’ll talk to Coach Nekomata and see what I can do, no promises though (Y/n).” Kuroo would do his best, you knew he tried for those he cared about, especially his team.

• It was no surprise then, that within 3 days you’d received a call from your twin.

“You’re coming to challenge me and my team (Y/n)?” The excitement in her voice, as well as that in yours was clear.

“You can thank Kuroo for that — you’ll finally get to meet my team!”

“And you mine! Tendō and Ushijima are incredible, I love them.” You’d spoken of respective players, shared stories and felt like you already knew part of each other’s teams despite never meeting them.

“Yes! I can’t wait - Lev isn’t coming with us, but Kenma and Yaku more than make up for it!”

“Lev is that first year you told me about right? I hope you’re ready to lose (Y/n), Goshiki is talented as hell.”

“And Nekoma is a unified machine, you’ll need a tissue to wipe away your loser tears~”

—

• Fast forward to the training trip, and the second you walk into Shiratorizawa you and your twin immediately rush over to each other, a collision of hugs, screams and excited conversation exchanged amidst the suddenly silent room.

• Tendō is the one to separate you both, guiding you to stand side by side as he leans in to inspect you both with a finger on his chin.

“Well well well, seems our Chibi-chan has a Chibi-chan 2.0~”

Ushijima doesn’t seem all that phased by the phenomenon, meanwhile Shirabu had to restrain the awed interrogation of Goshiki.

• Nekoma weren’t quite as calm, immediately Tendō hopped out of the way as Yamamoto tackled you, gawking between you and (T/n) whilst Inuoka attempted to null his yells.

“(Y/n)?! THERES TWO OF YOU?! DOUBLE THE BEAUTY!”

“Aw he’s cute, my team are never so nice to me.” (T/n) tutted, a subtle glare sent to Shiratorizawa - Satori being the one to stick his tongue out.

“Trust me, Yamamoto is the only one.” Cue your mirroring glare sent to a scheming Kuroo, whilst Nekomas Ace is still gushing over the two of you.

• The teams are moderately amused once the game starts as the main smack-talkers are you and (T/n) hollering over the court as you’d reached the Third Set at a tie. Friendships between both teams were formed due to your family relations.

• It’s not until the game is over and the Captains shake hands whilst you two hug it out with congratulatory words and playful insults that they start messing around again.

“C’mon (Y/n), we’ve gotta go~” Kuroo smugly states, purposefully slinging an arm around (T/n)s’ shoulders and guiding her out.

Before you had the chance to retaliate, Tendō gladly joined in.

“The Cat Captain is right, I’ve missed my little kitten anyway~” The redhead cheerfully gave you a high ten, intertwining your fingers in the process adding intimacy and offered a mischievous wink which you only laugh at.

• Nekoma are freaking out, that’s their manager and they’d know if you had a boyfriend, right? Yaku and Kai are quick to hold back Yamamoto with Kuroo suddenly sweeping you away from Satori since Ushijima had already reclaimed (T/n).

“That’s our kitten- ah manager.”

“And (T/n) is ours, but I look forward to seeing you at Nationals Nekoma.” The Captains bid one another farewell and you can only hope to play your twins’ team again.

—

• Shiratorizawa didn’t make it to Nationals (since Karasuno beat them) but (T/n) wanted to come and support you (bitterly). Ushijima came with her too since he’s the Captain and wanted to keep you two out of trouble. Plus he loves Volleyball.

• It’s when you’re checking the matchups do you encounter your beloved rivals, whilst Nekoma were distracted you went to scope out the area. ‘Luckily’ for you, you bumped into other competitors, the blonde ‘accidentally’ tripping.

“Woah, are you okay-“ Before you could finish, he’d interrupted all suave.

“Yeah, I just fell for ya that’s all~“

“-send me a postcard next time~”

There was a moment of silence, you impressed by the smoothness and him awed by the sheer sarcasm.

• The boy introduced himself as Miya Atsumu, Inaruzakis Setter and took note of your Nekoma jacket, asking you to watch him play if you got the chance. Especially if you become opponents.

• Bidding farewell, you found (T/n) with a bright smile upon her face, Onigiri in hand.

“The games haven’t even started and you’re eating.” Was your bemused observation, your twin scoffing with an innocent pout.

“I was hungry, and this cute player from Inarizki recommended the teriyaki Onigiri here so I brought some, wanna try?” (T/n) justified, showing the item to you.

“I met an Inarizaki player too, and I’m too nervous to eat but thanks (T/n).”

“Suit yourself, good luck and I’ll look for you later.” She rejoined Ushijima, the pair waving as you met up with Nekoma.

• It isn’t until after the first round beating Kiyokawa High School, before the Karasuno vs Inarizaki game that you’d encounter the Miyas again — or rather Atsumu approached (T/n).

“Yer scoping out the competition huh gorgeous? I don’t blame ya (L/n), ‘Samu and I are the best of the best.” The blonde proudly told (T/n), thinking you’d shed your Nekoma jacket to be inconspicuous.

“I— I don’t even know you? Wait, how do you know my name?!”

• Osamu meets the pair, and actually thinks it through, Atsumu on the other hand jumps to conclusions.

“We just saw eac-“ Hearing (T/n), Atsumu was quick to argue but Osamu kicked his calve.

“Shut it dumbass.”

“Hey, loser twin!” You called over, gaining the attention of her and the Miya Twins.

“Ah... ‘Samu there’s two of them...”

“That’s what I was gonna tell ya.”

• It must’ve been a twin instinct (twinstinct hehe) but yourself and Osamu could tell the individual differences/quirks immediately, hence how he’d figured it out so quickly. A mutual smile was shared as your respective twins continued their petty insults.

• “(T/n)! Ushijima is looking for you and I need to find Kuroo so...”

“Oh, yer boyfriends?”

“Uh - aha -no no, our Captains.” Your twin managed, flustered and embarrassed - you were glad she’d spoken because you were no better with the heat on your skin.

“Perfect, tell your Captains’ that we’re not sorry for keeping you~” Atsumu shouted as you both waved goodbye and headed back to the stands/courts.

• Nekoma won against Sarukawa Tech High, your next opponents currently battling it out on the court which you’d all raced to see - mainly for Karasuno.

But it was during the break after the first set that the twins approached the stands, well, you.

“(Y/n), ya won?” It was brave of Osamu to address you so casually but you didn’t mind.

“Of course, my team, my friends, are truly amazing. Our next opponent is either Karasuno or you.”

“You’ll be facing me- us- Inarizaki! Don’t you worry sweetheart.” It seemed whatever suaveness Atsumu once had was long gone by now.

• They played incredibly, but the entirety of Nekoma were glad of Karasunos’ victory, you’d taken a second to see the twins though.

“You were amazing, I’m grateful I got to see you both play. Looks like you won’t be facing me after all, sweetheart~”

“Yeah well- I— jus’ watch yer back next year beautiful. I’m comin’ for ya.”

“OHO! NOT ON MY WATCH PRETTY BOYS!”

“Yamamoto! Apologies for him.” Yaku forced the Mohawk to bow, Kuroo slipping an arm around your waist with a smirk. “But he’s not wrong.”

—

• You were staying with (T/n) for the weekend, utilising Shiratorizawas practice break to tell the tale of the Miyas and their flirting. The team were oddly protective over the both of you, but you hadn’t the time to question it with Goshikis inquiry.

“Okay, so if you two had children with the Miya twins respectively... would your children be identical?”

“...”

“...”

“We won’t have to find out.” If anyone else had said it you wouldn’t have believed them, but something about the certainty of Wakatoshi made you both smile.

<——————————<<<<

[ Masterlist ]

[wizkiddx]

worst case scenario part 5

finally!! so sorry its been an age to anyone still here but lives been interesting atm so....  also this really feels a bit rambley and the ending is deff underdeveloped but I just kind of wanted this done tbh x 

[previous part] [part 1] 

warnings:  hospitals - ICU, ventilation that sort of stuff, just a lot of ANGST post a difficult birth - please don't read if this could be upsetting for you, and my inbox is always open if u wanna chat :) 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In a complete 360 degree flip from earlier that day, after leaving the hospital Tom had become obsessively attached to Aurora. They’d got back to his parents place in Tom’s car; Aurora in the carseat Y/n and Tom had ready in their car door for her arrival. Clearly his parents had already pre-warned his brothers, who had thankfully already gone over to Tom and Y/n’s - collecting the Moses basket amongst other items Harry had been listed off from his mother. 

Apart from explaining a little behind her name to his parents on the journey back, Tom had spoken very little, choosing to keep himself to himself - physically stationing himself beside the Moses basket the whole time. Of course, there had been a bit of light conversation and almost procedural passing round of Aurora between all her uncles and grandparents, which Tom had kept a wether eye on - but ultimately not engaged. 

He also knew that physically his body was failing him. Although eating a little of the lasagne Sam had made for everyone, he could only stomach a minuscule amount, which did little to boost his energy levels. It felt as though sleeping was the enemy, because he was neither ready to leap into the car if the phone went; or to hear the smallest sound from the wicker basket, suggesting something was wrong. So as much as he tried to fight it, before even nine o’clock he began to dose off on the familiar couch of his parents sitting room - occasionally jerking himself awake before loosing the fight once again.

Nikki had tried to gently push him to take a break in the spare bedroom, which had been Tom’s before he’d moved out, but was unsuccessful - every time he retaliated with a stern shake of his head, while checking his phone just in case he’d missed a notification. Eventually Nikki relented, later in the evening both her and Dom retiring to bed; once Sam had agreed to stick around downstairs till a bit later - as a chef he worked till late in the nights, so even on his days off like today, his sleep schedule was just a little fucked. 

Left alone with his new little niece and now pretty firmly asleep brother, Sam draped a blanket over the latter just in time for Aurora to start fussing in the need of a bottle. His mum had explained how to do everything, how to mix the formula and heat it up, so after scooping up the little wriggling girl in the hope his brother wouldn’t get disturbed, Sam dealt with her. To be honest no matter how clueless and useless he felt, Aurora was just so cute - if a little wrinkly and alien looking, but in a good way. This was the first baby any of them had had, so the first time Sam experienced this instant connection and love for the little being that was his niece or nephew. It was terrifying, lifting the bottle against her lips for the first time, but then it just sort of seemed to work. She was incredibly smart for less than 24 hours old, instantly latching on, like she had done for Haz at the hospital. 

That gave Sam a little confidence in his ability as an uncle, giving himself a satisfied nod while swaying from the kitchen to move back into the living room. It was just a preference to be within reach of Tom… just in case. His poor brother still hadn’t moved, slumped against the corner of the sofa, leaning toward the now empty Moses basket. Normally, Sam seeing his supposed heart throb of a brother looking as rough as he did now - double chin, mouth hanging slightly open, deep sunken eyes - he would’ve taken a photo to blackmail him with. Now though, it was just desperately sad, seeing his brother like this, hand still clutching his phone tightly above the blanket. 

Rather hoping the calm would last for a while, Sam successfully finished off feeding Aurora; winded and then put her down to sleep again just in time. Because, perhaps expectedly, Tom’s phone began to blare off the default iPhone ringtone making Tom jump and throw the device across the room as he awoke with a start. Sam ran to grab it off the floor, mainly with the hope of turning it off before Aurora was awoken too - knowing that it was best tonight to tackle one thing at a time. 

And so he immediately swiped to answer the call, not even registering who the call was from, much rather just wanting the noise to stop. 

“Hello?”

“Sam? It’s Harrison” Tom had jumped up from his seat hovering beside Sam with petrified look. It took barely seconds for Tom to snatch the phone back, launching questions down the receiver. 

“Slow down would you? Y/n is fine I was just phoning to check in.”

“Oh er yeh… um sorry I just… just thought…”

“It’s the other way mate. Nurse says she’s starting to get there cos first she moved her arm a bit when we pinched her shoulder and then I just called because she started to like gag and now the ventilator thing is gone.”

“W-what?”

“I think she’s breathing by herself? Like she’s got an oxygen mask instead of the tubes down her throat.” Clearly Harrison was not, by any means, a medical expert. 

“They said she would have the ventilator for a few days at least.”

“I guess Y/n got bored? To be fair she couldn’t ever sit still.”

“I’m coming to you.”

“Tom it’s nearly midnight, I was supposed to be kicked out at 10. Just come back in the morning, they won’t let you in I’m pretty certain.”

“What if she wakes up!”

“Then they’ll call you! She’s getting better Tom you should be try and relax for like a second.”

“FUCK OFF HAZ! If she wakes up all alone and terrified then-“

“I’m not going to having a screaming match on the phone with you. I think we both know you wanting to come is more for you than for Y/n, because Y/n would want you to be looking after Aurora.”

Again guilt tripping using the newborn. Harsh but effective. Stopping Tom’s anger dead in it’s tracks.

“Look I can put the nurse on for her to tell you they won’t let you in and they’ll call if anything happens - but you already know that.”

“Yeh sorry fine … I know don’t bother.”

“Okay… I’m was gonna head back to my place and I know you’ve probably got your mum begging to fuss over Aurora but if-“

“Can you come?”

“Didn’t need to ask mate.”

And that’s how the night went. Until Harrison arrived at the Holland family home, Tom had spent the time pacing back and forth, blatantly ignoring the pleas of Sam just to sit down. Once he arrived though, going through all the updates in a lot more detail Tom seemed, for the first time, optimistic. By no means could you call him relaxed or happy - but compared to the rollercoaster that had been the last 24 hours, Harrison thought that was more than enough. Aurora had started fussing again at 1 but by the time it had turned into a full blown scream at Tom, Sam already had the bottle ready. It took a little bit of encouragement and promise that Tom would be able to feed her but actually, she instantly latched on, settled in her Dad’s hold while guzzling down the contents of the bottle. 

After a bit of winding she ended up falling asleep on her dads chest, only when he felt himself start to flag did Tom place her back in the basket. Harrison and him ended up crashing on the sofas, Sam retiring to his own room. Phone still tightly clutched in Tom’s grip.

////////////////////

The first thing Y/n became properly aware of was this intense heaviness all over her body. It felt as though her limbs were all composed completely of lead, meaning as much as she was just craving rolling over, it was as though her own body was holding her down. A very alien feeling that unsettled her slightly, trying to shake of the misty feeling in her head to work it all out. It took a while to drag herself out of the depths of sleep, to the point where background noise slowly faded in - an alien beeping as well as distant shuffling making her heart thump with unease. Finally, perhaps most distressingly , her eyes felt glued shut. Not because they were heavy, in the way someone extremely sleep deprived cant keep their eyes open; rather stiff like they hadn’t been used in so long they’d rusted over or something. 

The feeling  was quite horrific and isolating- as though she were locked into her body without an escape in sight. Whilst trying to calm her racing thoughts, Y/n chose to focus completely on the one thing she could do. She could listen. She listened to the beeps, focusing on the type of sound, the way it chimed so regularly; and it’s form. It was familiar, for that she was sure but for now at least she couldn’t place it. 

It felt like an investigation, trying with all her might to try and workout what the fuck was going on. To put it mildly. 

The most useful clue though, a breakthrough if you will, is when a voice sounded - clear and familiar. 

“Excuse me nurse?” It was Nikki. For sure. It was a clue, but didnt seem to make a hell of a lot of sense. Y/n was so focused on why the hell Nikki was apparently watching her sleep unconscious, she completely missed the reference to the nurse. As in hospital. As in Y/n was in hospital. “… I’m just going to swap out for my sons friend.”

“Harrison?” That voice seemed new and unfamiliar.

“Yes, he won’t be a second I’m sure.”

What was Harrison doing here too? 

It was all very confusing and hurt Y/n’s brain to try and unpick. Gradually then, everything sort of melted away, diving back into the darkness.

The next time Y/n woke up things were different. This time she woke up like she would at any time of day. She woke up and her eyes followed suit. Not particularly easily, since as soon as they cracked open she was almost blinded by brilliant white lights, it taking a build up of willpower before she tried it again - bracing for the pain. 

By now she knew something was wrong. She remembered all these patchy and hazy periods. All full of confusion and disorientation but with different voices keeping her at least semi calm. Familiar voices, all too often laced with such emotion. Especially Tom’s. She couldn’t remember what he had said, nor had she probably been able to understand it at the time - what stuck was the tone. The sadness, the hopelessness , the emptiness. 

It was scary. But it made her want to help. Made her want to open her eyes. 

After wincing at the dazzling white surroundings, Y/n blinked her eyes quickly, in an attempt to get them to adjust quicker. She saw an unfamiliar ceiling, one that was tiled in a similar way to her old school canteen. There was a  weird pressure round her mouth, eyes quickly darting down to see edges of a clear mask pressed up against the bridge of her nose. That wasn’t it though, the further she looked the more her eyes panned down this pale blue blanket, following the outline of her legs to the bottom raised edge of the bed. The hospital bed. 

Her hospital bed. 

As much as she wanted to jump up in panic; physically right now that was an impossibility. So instead, Y/n focused on trying to gleam as much information from the situation. It took a hell of a lot of effort, her muscles literally stiff and ridgid with disuse but with a small groan her neck eventually agreed to follow orders. Just a small tilt to the left and suddenly Y/n felt so much more less panicked. Everything was that bit less scary because there was Tom. 

Admittedly he didn’t look amazing, or even not bad. Tom was sat with his back pressed against the side of chair, so his body faced her. Had he not looked so ruined, Y/n would’ve laughed at the side of his face squashed into the back of the seat. But he did look horrific, for lack of a better word. His brown eyes were locked shut, but also looked puffy and red, while dark at the same time - as though he’d been attempting to gouge his own eyes out prior. He looked like he hadn’t slept in weeks, hence why he had appeared to have collapsed in the arm chair. At least though , he wasn’t in a hospital bed himself.

That was Y/n’s pleasure. 

Her next job was to get her neck muscles to pull her head to the other side. It was a slow wincing gesture, yet she was so aware of another presence that needed to be addressed too. But actually it was 3 people.

Right at the back, a nurse sat on a little spinny chair, scribbling something down in a file of papers but to be quite honest that wasn’t were Y/n’s focus zeroed in on. Instead on Harrison who was sat in chair mirroring Tom, except instead of being passed out asleep he was cradling a baby. Her baby. 

Y/n literally felt her heart in her throat at that point, eye widening almost comically. That was her baby - it must be? The monitors all started to loose their regularity as Y/n threw an uncoordinated limb to that side of the bed- already having realised her throat was way too scratchy to try to say anything comprehensible. 

Immediately that got the attention of both the nurse, who immediately leapt up and called for support, as well as Harrison - who looked like he was seeing a ghost. 

“Oh my-Y/n-?” Luckily he kept the baby safe in his arms rather than dropping her in shock, whilst Y/n kept her eyes locked onto the bundle in his arms. Nodding down, she tried to remove the mask (actually just very slightly knocking it to one side) and attempted to ask of the baby. Her throat, being inhumanly dry and scratchy, didn’t really work but Haz still got the message, scoffing in amazement. 

“Aurora… here’s your mummy.” Harrisons voice was quiet and wavering as he delicately held Aurora against Y/n’s collar bone, the babies little tuft of har tickingling her chin. Now Y/n was crying with happiness, looking up at Haz’s icy blue eyes and questioning her name. Harrison confirmed with another disbelieving whisper, whilst the arm that wasn’t still holding Aurora clasped Y/n’s hand with a death grip. “Tom’s choice.”

The mention of him had both of them shift their gaze across the room to Tom’s chair. Even with all the developments, Tom still seemed completely unaware, fast asleep with the side of his face squished against the back of the chair making his lips slightly askew. Y/n were acutely aware of the small congregation of doctors that had accumulated in the corner of the bay but they seemed to be respectfully waiting before they would prod and poke. Haz went to call Tom’s name, before he could though, Y/n squeezed his arm and minutely shook her head. That wasn’t what the blue eyes boy had been expecting, causing Haz to unfold and bring Aurora back up to his chest as he quirked his eyebrows at her.  

She didnt need to be filled in on the situation to know exactly what was happening. She had no idea why she was in the hospital bed; how long it had been since she’d given birth - but she knew all she needed to. From Harrisons unbelievably shocked face; and from the state of Tom - it hadn’t been good. Her fiancé looked almost ghostly, it seemed evident that he needed her. First then, she gestured to Haz for some water, which after a panicked look to the nurse; then from the nurse to various doctors; she was eventually given permission. 

After somewhat alleviating the sandpaper feeling in her throat, Y/n then croakily asked for a bit of privacy. Right now the doctors all were gawking, Harrison assumed it to be because they’d all led him and Tom to believe she wouldn’t wake up for a while- and even then she was supposed to barely be awake, not able to talk and drink or anything of the sort. With an ecstatic nod Harrison, shuffled out - while doing so prompting the medical people to draw the curtains completely shut round the bay.  

Already Y/n had tears welling up in her eyes, purely because she hated seeing him like this. He just looked so broken and shattered which honestly felt worlds worse than the labour she’d gone through. Her whole body still hurt, stiff and achy for reasons yet to be explained to Y/n. None of that mattered though, as she strained her arm out to the side in order to gently reach his knee that was folded up and sticking out awkwardly at an angle. After swallowing one again, Y/n squeezed round the joint and tried to shake it slightly. Instantly the man jumped up in his seat, heavy eyes blinking quickly and repeatedly as he tried to adjust to the room. 

Being so sleep deprived and stressed out, Tom’s brain was not working normally, instead with a delayed haze as he apparently skipped over Y/n in the bed, rather surveying the the closed curtains and Harrison’s now empty chair. As he was lifting himself to sit more normally up, uncurling from the armchair, was when he noticed the hand on his knee. Breath caught in his chest, Tom instinctively bit his lip as his eyes gradually traced up the hand, to the forearm, up to the shoulder. It felt like a fever dream, as though all it would take is for him to move and she’d slip away again. But there were her green eyes, gleaming in a way that literally lifted a weight from his shoulders. Her smile was tired and a little confused, but so her - after spending days of just seeing all her features lax, Tom swore that it was the most beautiful thing in the world.

Only when Y/n finally croaked out a small ‘hi’ did Tom gain awareness of his body, or rather control of it, enough to leap up and leave over the bed - cradling her face in both his palms. Like a psycho he stared intently, swapping his focus from her left to her right eye like a madman. 

“Your-I-I” He was trying to speak, trying to communicate all the thoughts and regrets of things he wished he’d said to her all at once. Weakly she reached up to fully remove the oxygen mask, dragging It down to below her chin, before squeezing his wrists in comfort. Only then did Tom notice the small puddle that had collected on her cheek, which made him realise he was absolutely bawling. 

“You ‘kay?” Her voice was like sandpaper but everything about her was so completely Y/n and it was just giving Tom this unreal wave of euphoria. Physically incapable of replying, the brunette just scoffed, leaning over the bed even more so he could press his forehead on hers. He was laughing too, the fact she was asking him that seemed so preposterous, given all the tubes and wires attached to her at the moment. It took Y/n squeezing his wrist harder again to make him lean back a little, searching her eyes with his. She seemed so worried; seemed so full of concern - only then did Tom consider quite how much he’d ‘let himself go’ the past couple of days. 

It had been two days since Aurora was born, only 48 hours. But the transformation was mad, none more so than mentally. 48 hours had quite literally changed everything for Tom; changed life forever and himself too. It was showing in his unshaven face, with unwashed  greasy hair, everything just looking ‘tired’.

“‘m just really glad your awake.” It was so honest and sincere it did have Y/n wondering what had happened and for how long. What had she put her fiancé through?

“How long?”

“The worst two and a half days of my life… I got you now though, yeh?” Tom whispered wetly, while stroking the side of her cheek - wiping both his and her tears away.

“Always.”

The doctors and nurses then came in, podding and poking Y/n like no tomorrow while Harrison and Tom stood back a little - excitedly grinning at each other and the sleepy girl Haz was cradling, before Tom stole her off him. There was a momentary sick-to-his-stomach feeling after some of the professionals had cleared, seeing her eyes shut again felt like everything was crashing around him. Thankfully though, one of doctors noticed the look of despair on his face, explaining to the two men that she was just asleep normally. That although sh’ed spent along time unconscious, waking from a medical coma is in itself exhausting. 

After the initial excitement of Y/n waking the next couple of days were pretty samey. She’d been moved down to a normal ward, no longer needed all the incessant bleeping machines but still had to stay in hospital. Tom found it tricky too, he just always felt he needed to be by her side ‘just in case’. In fact, it had been a source of a bit of tension between him and his fiancé - she could see how exhausted he was from looking after Aurora, plus the stress of being in the hospital for hours a day with her. As Y/n got better and more switched on to the state of him, she realised it was inevitable he’d crash at some point.

But after a week and a half in hospital - comprising of a baby, emergency surgery, 3 days on intensive care, followed by 8 on the ward - Y/n was discharged. Nikki and Dom moved in to Y/n and Tom’s place, to provide care support both for Aurora; and Y/n for the rest of her recovery; and secretly Tom for everything he’d been through. 

She was still order on bed rest due to her surgical scars, so Tom and Nikki helped to set her up in the master bedroom as soon as they got in. Of course, everyone was aware of Toms odd mood that day. Until then the only thing he wanted was to get his fiancé back at home with him but now she was over the threshold his excitement and joy appeared to have been zapped out of him. In fact, he’d barely uttered more than a couple sentences. So once Y/n was properly comfortable and Dom had brought Aurora and the cot into the room, Tom’s parents quickly made themselves scarce. 

Tom hadn’t stopped, finding some reason to rummage around in the chest of drawers m while Y/n chewed at her bottom lip, watching him. 

“Tom?” All she got in response was a light hum. “Tom please will you come and sit down for a minute?”

“I just need to-“

“Tom!” Her exclamation finally properly got Tom to listen, jumping round to face her. “Please... please will you just stop for a second?” Y/n’s eyes felt as though they were boring holes in his skull. Really, Tom knew he’d be forced into this at some point because he couldn’t avoid Y/n. She had some power of mind reading over him. So with a defeated nod and sagging shoulders Tom rounded the bed, weaving between his side and Auroras cot - where she was sleeping soundly. 

A silence overcame the room as he heavily planted himself on his side of the bed, mirroring Y/n’s posture leant against the headboard. 

“I think we need to have an honest conversation T.”

“If you want.” Nothing about his reply was the picture of enthusiasm, causing Y/n to hesitate a little. 

“Look I am so beyond grateful for everything you’ve done while I was in hospital... and it doesn’t take a genius to tell you’ve worked yourself half to death-“

“I’m fine-“

“Don’t lie to me. I know you’re trying to protect me but please... will you just talk to me? Honestly?” 

His reply this time wasn’t completely unforeseeable but it still shocked Y/n quite how quickly it happened, especially almost unprovoked. Because that’s all it took for Tom to break, for the past 2 weeks to get their vengance, for all the repressed emotion to escape. 

He was crying- well more accurately sobbing- into his hands, his back quaking. Naturally Y/n reached out to pull him into her side, suppressing the groan of pain as she moved a little too much for her abdomen to handle. “I’m here T. I got you and I’m not going anywhere m‘kay?” 

And that’s how they stayed, for at least 10 minutes, with Tom crying into her shoulder as Y/n rubbed up and down his back. Eventually though, everything did calm down and Tom repositioned himself to lean his head on her shoulder just facing forward and focusing on playing with her fingers, lacing them fingers with his. 

In all the time since she’d woken up, Y/n was yet to broach the subject of their babies name yet. She sensed it was a sensitive topic to say the least, so had thought it best to wait till they were properly alone - not in a ward of 6 strangers where the only privacy came in flimsy blue curtains. 

“So…. Aurora huh? Thought it was too airy-fairy, head-in-the-clouds for you?”  Smiling lightly, both of them were transported back to the pregnancy when they spent hours and hours bickering over names. Aurora had always been Y/n’s favourite but to Tom thought it was more a name for a hippy kid who went around clad in tie dye and bandanas. 

“Still is a bit...but I needed a bit of a miracle and Iceland was in my head. Plus I sort of accidentally word vomited while shouting at Haz, for being nice to me.” Iceland as in when Tom had proposed under the aurora borealis in the freezing sky - when Y/n had agreed, promised even, to be with him forever.

“But you like it?”

“Of course... mother always knows best after all.”

“I think it suits her too. One of your best choices to date, listening to me.” Y/n mused, earning herself a very delicate but still playful elbow in the side before the room drifted back to a much more comfortable silence. 

“We’re gonna get through this you know? Me, you and her, we’re together in this... I’m sorry I wasn’t in the beginning and I’m sorry I hurt you but now? I promise you got me and I’m not going anywhere…” Y/n needed to say it and needed Tom to properly listen. “ ...literally, I still cant walk properly.” Tom chuckled wetly at that, which made Y/n feel a lot better too. 

To be completely honest, Tom was still hurt and he knew it’d take some mending to move past everything. By no means did he blame Y/n in anyway but just the fact he was left alone and abandoned - well, it was the worst time in his life. The way Y/n understood that and had apologised to him - if completely unnecessarily- meant everything. Meant she would help him to heal... whilst he helped her too. 

“Can we just go to sleep? I need to wake up beside you in our bed not at tiny hospital one.” It was only 3 in the afternoon but because of Y/n’s medicine she was constantly drowsy and Tom? Tom was still in this permanent state of exhaustion. So it wasn’t so much of a weird request as it was on the face of it. With a nod, Y/n shuffled down on the bed a bit more resting her head against the top of Tom’s. It was exactly what they both needed, just a bit of peace with each other. 

That lasted all of 5 minutes before Aurora woke and started to scream. 

Life had most definitely changed. Especially for Tom. Because even though he was he was mentally and physically exhausted,  he only appreciated his daughters screams whole heartedly... because Y/n was there groaning with a tired smile too. They were in this together. 

~~~~

 I really hope the ending didnt disappoint too much, im aware its rushed as hell, but thank you for getting this far! And I hope maybe this series has done a teeny tiny bit to normalise not everything in pregnancy and child birth being perfect - that there is morbidity and mortality associated. Obviously this is all fictional (esp the amazingly quick recovery and lack of neurological/other impairments) and not medically accurate in the slightest !!

my inbox is always open :) t x

Tagging : @whitewolf51 

[plantsandpupper]

Today is my first day off of 14!!!!! Your girl is taking some much needed vacation time for my birthday 🥳

Im usually one to not make a fuss but with world happenings and just stuff in general we are going to vegas baby! It’s probably been 5 years now since we legit have taken a vacation and I’ve so missed the excitement of it.

My resolution for the year ( which I didn’t tell anyone about ) was to drink and have more fun, two things I hardly do in general. I dont plan to become a raging alcoholic (not that I think anyone does tbh) but I’ve honestly never tried alot of drinks other than strawberry daiquiris and you’re 20’s are for discovering yourself am i right?

So I’ve got my vegas trip this month, spicy pics in April, halsey concert in june, and another big tattoo in July. I forgot how exciting and sometimes stressful planning stuff is but it’s done wonders for my mental health to have things to look forward to. Life is too short

Also still staying with my healthyish ways. I’ll never be a salad all day everyday kinda person but I somehow manage to maintain my move goal of 500 with my watch most days so thats nice. I dont know what made me think of it but the other day I realized food no longer holds control over me. Mind u this is going on two years of my gradual weight loss 😅 and it does bother me that I didn’t realize how much control food had had on me.

Like brownies, they have and always will be my thing and i used to have the hardest time not eating a whole pan in the course of a day and i had no control over them. Now i can just have a modest serving and let that satisfy my sweet tooth.

Oh and i got my hair done last month and while the smocks are never flattering, I didn’t hate how it cut of my no longer pronounced double chins etc. it’s really these little things that catch u off guard that they don’t mention about significant weightloss

Food just gives me alot of joy, im so glad i did the MasterClass subscription for keeping my practical hobby of cooking alive. I seriously enjoyed watching Roy Choys class so much. I’ve tried to keep with veg and miss my vegan ways but the parents just dont budge. They also found this local butcher that just opened and I hate to admit that they are pretty great. I was holding out till they brought home some compound butter and house blend seasonings. Their pickles are also bomb af. I might just get a rosemary tattoo for my love of cooking and their sturdiness as a plant ( ours outside refuses to die and i love that about her)

Oh and Zeus now has a doggy doorbell that he bumps with his snoot! 10/10 recommend spending the $20. The princess is still going strong and has become increasingly lovable and is slowly becoming more and more a Real Cat ™️

On a real note though this russia stuff is unsettling but I love seeing the tiktoks about how people are coping and managing. From the savage granny, to the UN walking out on russia, and pornhub of all sites blocking Russia with a message of solidarity with ukraine it gives a little hope. I hope to see alot of sunflowers this summer 🌻

[leatherbookmarking]

fuck that ! im gonna talk about them deadboyz!! shame is for the WEAK

overall:

belong to a much less known subsidiary company of jinhit no jgs isn’t worth the joke entertainment. if they were in any other company they would be super rookies but jgs is keeping them in the basement and it’s not even his own basement

initially i think there were some high stakes in it for jgy...? something like ‘you produce the songs and make their chores and if you flop you’ll never be on stage again’ but?? i don’t know now tbh

would have been really popular (they are Good) but less known company, etc, and also some rumors around the time of their debut made it so they’re only knows because ‘they’re kinda good at dancing aren’t they’

general concept is uh... cool dudes, kinda fucky but not too much...? gotta think about the baby (a-yu)

THE MEMBERS: meng yao (leader, main dancer, vocalist), wen chao (oldest, main rapper), su she (main vocal, dancer), xue yang (rapper, dancer, unofficially: moodmaker, if by ‘mood’ you understand ‘horror at whatever has just come out of his hellish mouth), wen ning (dancer, vocalist, sometimes rapper), mo xuanyu (vocalist, the Baby™)

MENG YAO:

leader, single-handedly responsible for making these rowdy boys (wc&xy) stop wanting to kill each other

has probably auditioned for every single company there is. was in the nie company for a bit, but it was still a mess freshly after the previous owner, nmj’s father, has died, nmj has struggled (being a producer, not a businessman) so when it turned out they’d have to let some trainees go, the other trainees made it so meng yao was the one to leave. then he temporarily was at wrh’s company where he got kind-of-semi-famous as one of wen qing’s main back dancers (the one she’s interacted with the most) during her last performance. then the company went kaputt and jgs has snatched him off for himself, and then... put him... in the basement.... for two years... after which he gave him a chance, and voila

insanely hard-working. an all-rounder. mainly he excels at dancing, but his vocal and rap skills also Fuck. persona? impeccable. he’s learning to write and compose his own songs and he’s doing well, but he can’t even upload his stuff on soundcloud, because... you know why. has doubled as a manager in their early days. also, dimples.

the fans had tried to make a dad/mom dynamic with him and uh... wen chao...? since they were the oldest and pretty much the opposites, but quickly gave up and he’s now simply known as yao-ge due to his stern but loving persona. (yao-jie, sometimes)

DOES do the split. it was his rookie trick for a year after they debuted, but he simply is just like that. one show host asked him “is there definite proof that you have bones?“ and meng yao only shrugged humbly

WEN CHAO

oldest, has been a trainee for the longest time, hasn’t debuted because... well... he wasn’t good... and that was because he’s felt too safe in his dad’s company. WELL ABOUT THAT,

his older brother wen xu has debuted Long before him, but after a few years his group disbanded, he moved on to modeling and then stopped after a couple of years, too. (he got married.)

you know how i said their image is ‘cool, a bit fucky’? well, he’s 40% of that fuckiness. he’s been told again and again that idols aren’t supposed to date/have dating experience, but he still can’t get the hang of it

yes, he and jiaojiao were an item back in the wen days. she’s a trainee at some other company now but they still hook up sometimes

initially was intent on maintaining a cool, calm and collected image... then he met xue yang and threw that idea outta the window. paradoxically, they’re interesting together, not only as rappers but also as... high-energy, chaotic energy makers of the group...

this is a happy au, so: initially he’s thought everything is bullshit, these talentless fucks are dumb and he should already be a top idol. by the time of their debut, he agrees that meng yao is one crafty motherfucker. a year after their debut, if anything happened to any of his boys, yes even xue yang, he would kill everyone in the room, etc, etc BUT YOU’RE NOT SUPPOSED TO KNOW ABOUT THAT.

SU SHE

unfortunately, was added before their first comeback (second release) and therefore controversial. fortunately, his vocal completes the group’s image and musical flavour

was a trainee in yinshen ent where he really admired their top idol, lan wangji, until... he got to know him (?) when they were sent to compete in a survival show and decided lan wangji ain’t shit and is, in fact, a stuck-up self-centered bitch. the survival show crashed (unrelatedly), but still some serious words were exchanged. during Some Company Problems, quite a lot of trainees have left, but he was the one who left with a Bang.

joined that one subsidiary of jin ent because of meng yao, who, just like in canon, recognized him, said he loved him in (song he’s performed in the survival show) and with this he cemented his position as su she’s new Boy Who Makes Him Go !!!!.

slowly replaced meng yao as The Man Who Does This Face at the other lads’ rowdy behaviour.

fans remember he was :/ at lan wangji, so his persona wouldn’t work anyway, but he does make quite a convincing kind dude-next-door.

stubborn side of the fandom’s next candidate for the mom member, because... he’s ridiculously prepared and reliable. who carries hydrogen peroxide in their daily use backpack? this boy !

it used to be rubbing alcohol but i had too many reasons to apply it internally, he once says mournfully, and this is how xue yang discovers he has a sense of humor, sort of

unfortunately, has the juiciest ass in the group. unfortunately, because

XUE YANG

responsible for: being inappropriate. the other 60% of fuckiness, really enjoys getting into wen chao’s personal space (since wen chao is That straight dude) and just... doing whatever to make su she Scandalized.

but he’s so cute we’ll forgive him. at least until the next time he does a surprise butt grab

very agile! dance line along with meng yao and wen ning. apparently he was a stunt guy...? apparently the lived in the streets...? apparently he went to the same dance school as meng yao...? no one knows his past. no one has seen his kid photos. did he go by another name...? insert the what are birds gif but make it who is xue yang.

adds sound effects to real life. also in his raps, sometimes

started hugging and initiating physical contact with people to assert dominance to be annoying, but ended up actually liking it, even though the one he does it comfortably with is meng yao. just like... back hugs? resting his chin over a-yao’s shoulder? it’s neat. sometimes a-yao pats his hand or taps his nose absent-mindedly and it’s super neat. if he notices you noticing it, though, he will BITE

most popular member, but everyone likes him for different reasons and has a different uhhh headcanon about potentially dating him. bad boy xue yang/cute bratty didi xue yang/sweet boyfriend xue yang, etc, etc

no one knows how, but apparently he knows the iconic duo from a small company, xiao xingchen and song lan...? or rather, song lan pretends not to know or notice him, meanwhile xiao xingchen is very cute when they’re interacting, and basically it prompts a lot of dating rumors, especially since they’ve been spotted having hotpot.

WEN NING

su she was the one to join last, but actually it’s wen ning who’s the least popular member. i’m just so quiet that people don’t notice me, haha, he says while being 180cm tall and having killer charisma when he dances

seriously, what’s up with that? it’s almost like he’s a different person, a possessed one to add to that. huh!

in contrast, his voice is very gentle and even cute, and he often sings quietly to himself. sometimes to other members (there’s a video of him singing what seems to be a lullaby to mxy), sometimes to little animals (there’s a video of him singing to a tiny frog he’s found during a walk). gentle boyfriend wen ning but it’s CANON

in contrast to the contrast, he doesn’t rap often, but when he does, it’s like... who’s that?? another member??? dualism king

when wc/xy cause problems on purpose, he doesn’t react/allows them to tease him/slap his ass/bump into him when they’re fighting. he seems like a calm, gentle guy so when they’re in a variety show and it’s Time For A Punishment, of course he gets to decide/wield the squeaky hammer, WHEREUPON ‘yang-ge, three weeks ago you ate my yoghurt even though i specifically asked you not to, so...’ (whacks xy’s ass into next tuesday)

nice, sculpted shoulders make for very good pillows

MO XUANYU

a Baby, but watch out: a horny one. fully on board with xue yang’s Inappropriate Ideas Of Entertainment. there’s a video of them doing some Rather Dirty dance moves while meng yao and su she make pained faces in the bg

fashion king. make-up king. none of his selfies are bare-faced, he always has some red eye shadow/blue eyelashes/yellow blush/black lipstick going on. sometimes even at the same time. paints his nails and toenails as well. somehow yao-gege doing his make-up makes him fall asleep one minute in. (cute)

his sincere smile is a 100% foolproof way to just... melt everyone’s hearts. in wen ning’s case: with a smile as well. meng yao and su she: an eyeroll (fond). xue yang and wen chao: ‘oh, fuck you’. but it DOES

most of the time though when he does sajiao it’s totally weird. (on purpose, on purpose)

tiny boy. skinny boy. once he turned to the side and vanished. even though most of the time in videos the other members sooner or later end up giving him food! (at some point wen chao says ‘it’s so that you’d shut up’, causing a-yu to start talking animatedly, spitting crumbs into his tea. serves him right)

has a potential to end up as a vocal god. currently however his favourite method of doing things with his voice is SCREAM

famously examines what things are by putting them in his mouth/licking them. he is a little creacher. he cannot change this

bites

[amoosewritesfanfic]

[+18]

[Shinsou Hitoshi x Fem!Reader x Denki Kaminari]

[Warnings: poly, threesome, double penetration, overstimulation, light quirk play, hair pulling, ddlg, light piss kink]

[I own none of the characters or art posted, the credits go to the original creators, the story and edit belongs to me tho, all characters are obviously aged up.]

[Tbh this is birthday smut for my two bois enjoy it :3]

-

"Ah shit baby girl, you look so fucking good takin' my cock like that, it's filling your mouth up so well~" Denki teased as your head moved back and forth around his cock, meanwhile between your legs was Shinsou, his tongue working your cunt, easing over your clit making you reach your third orgasm for that morning. "Morning sex is the best~" Denki groaned tilting his head back as you worked his cock. Shinsou pulled back from your cunt earning somewhat of a muffled whimper from you, making Denki groan in delight from the vibrations it sent through his cock. "You're not wrong, though we could've slept a little more in..." Shinsou said as his thumb eased over your pussy lips making your hips buck slightly and basically deep throat Denki's cock which earned a sharp inhale from the blonde.

"Hmm, you sure 'bout that Shin? She's enjoying herself...~" Denki said as he watched Shinsou eased his middle and index finger into your slick which had your legs spreading a bit more as well as letting out another needy moan. "Oh she definitely is... you should do that thing that you did to me the other day." Shinsou said and Denki stared at him for a moment before chuckling and pulling himself from your mouth, your saliva connecting from his cock tip to your lips, you were panting quietly. "You sure?" He asked. "Yeah, she can always use the safe word if she doesn't like it, isn't that right kitten?" Now, Shinsou and Denki switched places, although this time, Shinou had your head in his lap, pulling your legs up to your chest to expose your sweet little cunt to Denki who had somewhat of a mischievous grin plastered on his face.

"Yes daddy..." you replied to Shinsou who stroked your cheek softly. "Repeat the safe word for us kitten." As he spoke he ran his thumb over your bottom lip and you consciously ran your tongue over the pad of his thumb before replying. "Eraser." You said. "And if you can't talk baby girl?" Denki asked as he eased two digits over your soaked slit making your hips buck slightly, everything felt so sensitive especially after cumming so many times. You smacked the bed three times and then smacked Shinsou's thigh three times. "Remember those kitten, I'll make him stop if it becomes too much okay?" Shinsou assured you and you gave a slow nod.

You trusted both Shinsou and Denki more than anything, it's why you married the two idiots of course and why the bedroom was always interesting, it was always spiced up between you three. Sometimes it would be just you and Shinsou or you and Denki or Denki and Shinsou. It depended on the situation or what kink you three decided on usually. You were open to anything, but sometimes you liked to sit out and sleep a little longer or go out without them.

...

Now with your safe word and gestures out of the way Denki wasted no time in sliding those two slender digits into you, your hips pressing into his touch as you tilted your head back in Shinsous lap, his cock twitching next to you. "Don't worry 'bout my cock kitten, just focus..." there was a pause before you felt it, that light shock, it was a small on but you felt it erupt throughout your whole body. Denki has used his quirk on occasion, once on accident and a few times on purpose, all of them were always heavenly, but he never used it like this, it was always on your nipples or your stomach where he did it. Shinsou wasted no time in easing his thumb over your cheeks to sooth you but it didn't help all that much, the voltage had gone up causing your hips to buck again, thankfully Shinsou had let go of your legs so you could keep them spread to help keep you a bit balanced, your hands gripping the bed sheets and a somewhat desperate needy moan escaping your lips, the electricity ran through out your body and if that wasn't the best feeling his fingers slowly pumping in and out of you, you were starting to whine and drool, your eyes rolled halfway back as your body jerked and trembled from the strange stimulation.

Of course you didn't notice Shinsou and Denki, silently communicating to each other, the way Shinsou told him to up the voltage and pick up the pace of his fingers had Denki shaking his head, telling him to wait as you got use to the sensations and once you did, oh gods... you definitely weren't expecting a rather harsh shock that caused your back to arch and your hips to lift off of the mattress, your expression, gods your expression was so lewd, you had drool falling from your lips and your eyes were rolled completely back. Your body was trembling even more now and the grip you had on the bed sheets was rather intense too. "That one was good Kami~ I think our kitten really enjoyed it~" at this point Shinsou had one hand fondling your breast as the other motioned for Denki to do it again, but this time, well this time Denki pulled his fingers out and plunged them back in, now that harsh shock that was sent throughout your cunt and to your stomach. When Denki had repeated the action you could barely speak because all that was falling from your lips was gibberish.

Your hips shot up once again and this time Denki felt your cunt squeeze his fingers, but what he didn't expect, hell not even Shinsou expected it, was how you started pissing yourself, those juices squirting out onto the bed and onto Denki who didn't move, but he had stopped his quirk. When you had stopped, lowering your hips now into the small puddle you had created, you were embarrassed but your flustered teary eyed expression had Shinsou smiling a little you looked so cute. "My poor pissy kitten~ you looked so cute pissing like that~ did you like pissing on Kami?" Shinsou asked you as he rubbed circles on your stomach trying to ease you, Denki was rubbing soft circles on your thighs. Embarrassed you shook your head. "It's not good to lie kitten~ be honest for us now~ use those pretty little words." He said as his free hand gripped your chin making you look up at the beautiful indigo haired male.

"Y-yes daddy... I-it... felt... good..." she whimpered, you were so embarrassed, but there was no denying that it felt good, it felt different like an orgasm you weren't expecting. "There's my good piss kitten~" Shinsou teased running his thumb over your bottom lip. "It felt really good baby girl~ ah~ but it made me wanna fuck you so bad now~" Denki cooed and Shinsou took this as an invitation to pick you up.

They stripped the soiled blankets off of the bed leaving the bare mattress, luckily you had only messed the blankets, meaning you still had the bed cover.

Shinsou had then slid under you, having you face him and your ass facing Denki which earned a harsh smack on your rear which had you moan out in delight. "We're gonna fuck you until we both feel satisfied baby girl~" Denki said, his fingers slowly threading through your hair before yanking your head back making you whine quietly as you managed to glance back at him, Shinsou's cock just barely teasing your entrance making you moan quietly. "And you'll take us both like you usually do right piss kitten?~" Shinsou's new nickname had sent shivers up your spine, you know he was just teasing you but somehow he made it sound so sexy. "Y-yes daddy~" you whined out and he smiled giving your chest a kiss before the two lined up with your holes. Shinsou taking that glistening piss cunt and Denki taking that cute puckered hole.

Honestly that's how the two liked it, Denki preferred your ass for some reason more than your pussy, although they did switch it up once in a while. Regardless the two wasted no time in sliding into your holes, your back arched slightly and a loud mewl fell from your lips, you felt so dizzy from having their cocks buried in your overly sensitive pussy and ass.

And once they started moving you felt like you couldn't focus on anything but the harsh thrusts of their hips, you were a moaning drooling mess as the sound of skin slapping against skin filled the room along with grunts and groans from your husbands. You cried out however feeling that overwhelming orgasm hitting your body once again, the way your legs tensed and you moaned out, "daddy yes! P-please please please~" like a mantra almost made the two smug, they knew that you loved this. "Fuck... kitten you're cumming already?~ how lewd~" Shinsou teased as the thrusts had become erratic and rougher with each movement. It wasn't long till they soon came after you did, groaning at how good your holes felt taking their seed.

They didn't even realise that... well you had passed out.

"Oh shit... she passed out." Shinsou said both of them immediately pulled out and checked on you to make sure you weren't hurt. "Ah she's fine she probably just got overwhelmed from the fucking." Denki said stroking your hair. "Let's get her cleaned up and then let her rest..." Denki then added and Shinsou gave a nod. Denki took the liberty of cleaning you up in the bathroom while Denki changed the sheets and blankets.

Once done, Shinsou had tucked you into bed, somehow you managed to pull the both of them back into bed with you.

"It was surprising that she pissed herself though... It was hot don't get me wrong, but fuck it was surprising I almost didn't know how to react." Denki had said quietly as he stroked your cheek. "Same, we should actually explore it a bit more..." Shinsou mumbled. "Yeah, we should daddy~ also happy birthday." Denki hummed. "And to you baby~"

That day you managed to sleep until late evening, both Denki and Shinsou had prepared dinner, you ended up apologizing for two things, passing out and also not wishing your husbands happy birthday. Which they told you was fine that they had an amazing birthday along with a perfect gift. The gift was you apparently.

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[Genuinely had no clue how to end it but uhhhh yeah hope you enjoyed it, it was my first time trying out a piss kink. ]